It’s time for this week’s Horrible-Scopes! So for those of you that know your Astrological Signs, cool! If not, just pick one, roll a D12, or just make it up as you go along. It really doesn’t matter. Better yet! Check out “Heart of the Game, Fredonia” and see if they can sell you those D12’s with the symbols on them. Tell them “Shujin Tribble” sentcha. And “Hail, Hail, Fredonia!” Home of the Blue Devil!
Somebody made a suggestion for a theme this week! Well, far be it for us to say “No”. So this week you’re ALL getting famous creepy monsters randomly assigned to guide you this week. Let’s see if you can survive the experience.
=Next Week: =
Aries
Not gunna lie, Aries - you’re starting us off weak. You get a classic monster that literally everyone knows about and its depiction never makes sense. You get a “Skeleton”. How many times have you seen them moving around, stalking people, drinking wine, or even whistling? “Too Many Times” by our count. So this week… watch the Schoolhouse Rock song, “Them Not-So-Dry Bones” and learn the difference between a Tibia and a Femur.
Taurus
Ok, now THIS is how you start off a list like this correctly. Some would say this is the ultimate Modern Halloween monster, but others would say, “Who Hurt You?” This week you get to deal with “Creepy Clowns”, but we can give you a way to help with your Clown-a-phobia. This week… find and watch “Killer Klowns from Outer Space” and we’re sure you’ll get over your fears. Either that or you’ll never eat pink cotton candy again.
Gemini
We’re going to flip the script just a little bit for you and give you “Dr. Frankenstein”. Not his creation, known as “The Monster” but on the Doctor himself. You know there’s just a little bit of that drive in every medical professional out there. That desire to beat back Death itself. To stave off the reaping of a soul. But it’s too late. Dr. Viktor von Frankenstein is long dead, his secrets, ironically, taken with him to the grave, and there’s nothing you can do to change that. This week… avoid using jumper cables.
Cancer Moon-Child
The scariest part about your monster is how incredibly inconsistent they are. Maybe they’re smart, maybe dumb, maybe fast, maybe shambling and otherwise unstoppable. In any event you’re getting, “Zombies”. The only way to be sure you’ve killed them… well, they’re already ‘dead’, kinda. Anyway… –to be sure they’re dead is to pop their head like a Gushers Candy. This week… Play “7 Days to Die” on “All Blood Moon” setting.
Leo
You can’t reason with yours. You can’t talk to it. You can’t shoot it or stab it or contain it for long. In your case “Mummies” are the cursed remains of a long-dead person, usually Egyptian. That means they’re like 5,000 years old, can only read hieroglyphics, and can’t talk with a damn anyway. But you have an advantage over them - You can produce enough fire to turn them into ash. This week… invest in a Bic Lighter and hairspray.
Virgo
We’re gunna do some chemistry here. Take an old dude, say, just about 2 Metres tall. Make him speak six languages, be a world champion fencer, participate in more on-screen sword fights than any actor in history, serve for five years as a British Commando blowing the shit out of Nazi asses in World War II, and have him, at 88 years old, became the oldest person to ever record lead vocals on a progressive symphonic heavy metal track about the life of Charlemagne (because why the fuck not?). You have the best “Vampire” in history: SIR Christopher Frank Carandini Lee. This week… we don’t care that we’re not giving you an actual monster - DUDE! Christopher Lee was the MAN!
Libra
“Where… Wolves? …THERE wolves. There… Castle.” And if you don’t get that reference we can’t be friends anymore. This week, watch “An American Werewolf in London” and “Young Frankenstein”... AGAIN.
Scorpio
The worst part about your monster is how very un-real they are. Because if it was a matter of people having unfinished business with The Living, why the hell aren’t there any Ghost dinosaurs out there? And why are they always shown wearing the same clothes all the time. Like.. My Dude, you can wear anything you want! Imagine what a Borat Ghost would be like. (*PAUSE*) Second thought, never-you-mind!
Sagittarius
AH, yes! The women who gave society the proverbial finger and got turned into well-well-well done kabobs. You get “Witches”, and we’re going to put some existential fear into you from them. First… Can we all just agree that Winifred Sanderson’s lipstick and buck-teeth are just The Worst? Now riddle me this, Sagittarius; why were we taught to fear the witches and NOT the people lighting them on fire? This week… No cook-outs.
Capricorn
We already mentioned your Not-A-Monster monster, and we can make them very humanized. “The Grim Reaper” isn’t a monster per-say, but a person fulfilling a necessary function for Life! Imagine, you accidentally shoot Death in the forehead, killing them, and now YOU have to take on the “Office of Death”, reaping souls, with no training at all. Do you ever wonder how he’s doing in his newly promoted position? Have you pondered what happens if he’s allergic to horses? This week… find a copy of “On a Pale Horse” by Piers Anthony and Read It! (He’s still alive, BTW!)
Aquarius
This is a SUPER speciesist fear-monster for no good reason. You get “Bats”. And really this is silly! They’re GREAT little flying mosquito-devourers and stunt fliers and you know what? YOU KNOW WHAT?! They’re smol! Well.. except for the Flying Fox. Imagine a bat with a CUTE FACE, weighing in at 1Kg with a 1 and-a-half Meter wingspan… and you know what they eat? Flowers and fruit! That’s it! And they’re just the most adorable sky puppies! This week… Re-exam your personal biases.
Pisces
You are NOT Captain Kirk or Commander Riker. You are NOT going to be flirting with this “monster”, if we can even call it that. You get “Aliens” - and before you say anything, just remember… Humanity’s just as much a threat to other life as they are to us… So this week… learn how to nuke the site from orbit. It’s the only way to be sure.
And THOSE are your Horrible-Scopes for this week! Remember if you liked what you got, we’re obviously not working hard enough at these. BUT! If you want a better or nastier one for your own sign or someone else’s, all you need to do to bribe me is just Let Me Know! These will be posted online at the end of each week via Tumblr, Twitter, Facebook, Discord and BLUESKY.
The 65 books posted on JewishBookWorld.org in September 2022
The 65 books posted on JewishBookWorld.org in September 2022
Here is the list of the 65 books that I posted on JewishBookWorld.org in September 2022. The image contains some of the covers. The bold links take you to the book’s page on Amazon; the “on this site” links to the book’s page on this site.
Alte Zachen / Old Things by Ziggy Hanaor (on this site)
The Book of Revolutions by Edward Feld (on this site)
The Boy Behind The Door by David Tabatsky (on…
The first round of preparations are finally complete, and that means the first round of the Classic Sapphic Ships bracket is almost ready to go! I'll be preparing the polls today and tomorrow to hopefully go live on Friday, and voting time for at least the first two rounds will run for a week. Check out the FAQ in the meantime, and feel free to send over any additional questions as well!
The full list of Round 1 Match Ups is under the cut!
Right side:
Franky/Bridget (Wentworth) vs Regina/Emma (Once Upon a Time)
Watson/Moriarity (Elementary) vs Lucy/Amy (DEBS)
Gina/Rosa (Brooklyn 99) vs Debbie/Lou (Ocean's 8)
Jo/Blair (The Facts of Life) vs Peyton/Brooke (One Tree Hill)
Piper/Alex (Orange is the New Black) vs Bering/Wells (Warehouse 13)
Xena/Gabrielle (Xena: Warrior Princess) vs Trini/Kimberly (Power Rangers 2017)
Ripley/Annalee (Alien) vs Annalise/Tegan (How to Get Away With Murder)
Susan/Talia (Babylon 5) vs Chessy/Meredith (The Parent Trap)
Ann/Anne (Gentleman Jack) vs Scully/Reyes (X-Files)
Cat/Kara (Supergirl) vs Olivia/Natalia (Guiding Light)
Nikki/Helen (Bad Girls) vs Ola/Lily (Sex Education)
13/Cameron (House MD) vs Sara/Catherine (CSI)
Delphine/Cosima (Orphan Black) vs Emily/JJ (Criminal Minds)
B'elanna/Seven (Star Trek) vs Rachel/Quinn (UnReal)
Emily/Alison (Pretty Little Liars) vs Beca/Chloe (Pitch Perfect)
Carol/Maria (Captain Marvel) vs Raven/Abby (The 100)
Left side:
Grace/Frankie (Grace & Frankie) vs Shaw/Root (Person of Interest)
Callie/Arizona (Grey's Anatomy) vs Stef/Lena (The Fosters)
Eve/Mazikeen (Lucifer) vs Luce/Rachel (Imagine Me & You)
Tara/Pam (True Blood) vs Ally/Ling (Ally McBeal)
Alex/Olivia (Law and Order SVU) vs Miranda/Andy (The Devil Wears Prada)
Samantha/Janet (Stargate SG-1) vs Nomi/Amanita/Sense8)
Willow/Tara (Buffy the Vampire Slayer) vs 13/Yasmin (Doctor Who)
Sharon/Brenda (The Closer) vs Kalinda/Alicia (The Good Wife)
Max/Anne (Black Flag) vs Petra/Jane (Jane the Virgin)
Eleanor/Tahani (The Good Place) vs Kelly/Yorkie (Black Mirror)
Rory/Paris (Gilmore Girls) vs Aneela/Kendry (Killjoys)
Quinn/Rachel (Glee) vs Jane/Maura (Rizzoli & Isles)
Nico/Karolina (Runaways) vs Serena/Bernie (Holby City)
Laura/Danny (Carmilla) vs Peggy/Angie (Agent Carter)
Hecate/Pippa (The Worst Witch) vs Bobbie/Chrisjen (The Expanse)
If you ever watch the movie *A bugs life* I can’t help but headcanon Lich’s voice as Hopper cuz he’s a bully and a boss man.😅 especially the last scene where the ants finally are fed up with him and face him for being a tyrant that he is.
That's awesome you have a voice you can hear for Lich. I haven't watched a Bugs Life in a long time, but I liked the movie as a little kid. I can see the parallels with the characters.
Originally, when I first came up with the concept of Lich's character (Can’t even remember what I originally named him. Maybe it was the same name. Can’t remember. Wow…
Either way, Lich's original backstory/ role in a fanfic [I won't name because I wrote it in middle school and it was AWFUL], was very different from what it is now. The plot of the fuc was a ripoff of the movie ,“Heavy Metal” so Ronnie James Dio or Alice Cooper were the two voices I usually associated him with. "The Mob Rules" and "The Black Widdow" are Lich's theme songs.
BUT Kevin Spacey's voice fits Lich very well, now that you pointed it out.
He is oozing with Hopper vibes.
If I had an obscene amount of money to spend, I would hire these voice actors/actresses/ singers (resurrect them from the grave if necessary) to play my ocs and/or Characters from Invader Zim that never officially were assigned hired voice actors.
At least most of my Irken ocs have voices picked out.
Pepperoncini: Sir Christopher Lee (?) Earle Hyman (?) Even those two would have to pitch their voices lower and more gravely. Cini's voice, especially in his later years, is very, VERY deep and ravaged by centuries of smoking pipe amber.
I guess the contrast in his bright, lighthearted, bubbly personality amuses me.
I can’t think of a voice that perfectly matches the voice Cini has in my head. Any suggestions would be welcome.
I loosely based his personality on Phyllis Diller and Vincent Price, to give an idea of his mannerisms.
Spinch: Martha Kelly (so shy)
Hoola: Eric Bauza (His personality is based on Daffy Duck, though lacking in WB toon antics and the lisp.)
Rook/ the Sage: Originally I imagined John Cleese playing Rook, at least in Rook's older years (because he was based on the Monty Python’s Holy Grail Tim the Enchanter) or Suzy Izzard.
But again, now that you pointed out the parallels, David Foley fits pretty well too.
Miyuki: I'm sure plenty of people would disagree with me, but I think Cher (or at least a younger Cher), Lynne Lipton (again, younger), or Cree Summer would make great choices for Miyuki.
Kii: Can't get Melissa Fahn's voice out of my head for her, but any suggestions are welcome. Maybe Doro Pesch.
Soxx: Percy Rodriguez (would have to bring him back from the dead)
Hitz: Richard Romanus
Spork: Lorenzo Music (I just do)
Commander Poki: Brooke Dillman (I love that woman's voice. Boss as shit.)
Frylady Soo-Garr: Kristin Chenoweth or Grey DeLisle. Either. Either or would pull off her vindictive personality perfectly.
Pielord Emis-Gee: Ron Funches
Brewmaster Shakkin: Christopher McCulloch
Yeet: Hong Chau (so spunky!)
Vroog: Billie Mae Richards or Maria Bamford for a living person to play her.
Irken Gir would be played by Rosearik Rikki Simons, just no synthesizers or anything.
This is not a complete list by far. If you’re curious about any of ocs that I didn’t list, you can ask about or make suggestions.
Hearing the voices helps develop the character for me