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crushedbyhyperbole · 1 year

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Flash Bang

Pairing: Bucky x Reader

Summary: How to win an argument with Bucky Barnes? Flash your tits, of course.

Words: 1.2k

A/N: Just an idea that amused me enough to end up on my fic inspiration list. I wrote it as part of my Suncatcher set (a series on AO3 but here on Tumblr the fics are not grouped together). Reader is empowered and part of the Avengers. All fics in this set are set after CA:CW and I completely ignore the existence of Infinity War and End Game.

Warnings: Smut, some angst, arguing, moody Bucky

***18+ content - minors do not read or interact***

Bucky is raging. You can tell by his deep scowl, irritated nasal sighs, and the repeated twitch of the muscles in his cheeks as he grits his teeth repeatedly, clenching and unclenching his jaw. He won’t even look at you when you try to talk to him – he listens but doesn’t respond. Even dazzling him with your beautiful light refractions hasn’t worked.

It’s stupid, you think, the argument you had yesterday that saw him sleeping (or not, possibly) on the sofa, and followed you both into today. You haven’t even gone on the mission yet and he’s already acting like a petulant child. It’s funny, in a way. You’re usually the one who flips your shit, and Bucky is the one who calms you down. He’s the big chill to your little chaos, except where your safety is concerned.

“Can we talk about this? Please?” You stand next to him while he impatiently waits for the coffee to finish pouring from the machine. You can tell he feels trapped, torn between the coffee he wants and avoiding a discussion with you. “Bucky?”

He huffs out another nasal sigh. He heard you but is still not prepared to interact.

“Ok, I’ll just talk.” You say, jumping up to sit on the counter next to the coffee machine.

Bucky drums his fingers on the counter in yet another display of frustration.

“I’m an Avenger, same as you.” You have said this to him about twenty times since yesterday but you say it again because it’s the truth. “I get drafted for missions, same as you. I go on missions with you, I go on missions without you. This mission is just another mission without you.” You reach for him, attempting to lay your hand on his shoulder but he flexes away, making it clear that he doesn’t want to be touched.

“Not the same.” He grunts and you feel like this is a victory. They’re the first words he’s said to you since last night when he actually told you that he forbade you to go on this mission. Like he fucking owned you or something. Of course you had seen red and it had turned into an all-out argument.

“How is it not?”

Another nasal huff. “You’ll be alone.”

“And? You do it all the time.”

“That’s different.”

“How? Because you’re a man?”

“No!” He turns to you and fixes you with a withering gaze. “Romanov goes on solo missions. It’s not about your sex, it’s about your experience.”

“How am I supposed to get solo mission experience if I don’t go on solo missions?” All the while you spoke, you tried to keep your tone even. Now that he was communicating, you didn’t want to piss him off again.

“I offered to go with you, and to hang back. As backup. It was a compromise. You said no.”

“Do you not trust me?”

“Of course I do.”

“Doesn’t seem like it.”

“What I don’t trust is my luck.”

“What’s your luck go to do with it?”

“Doesn’t matter.”

The machine had finished pouring. Bucky scooped up his cup and took a sip as he stared you down.

“So you’re going to keep acting like this until I’m back from the mission safe and sound?”

“Not even then.”

“You want me to give in say that I won’t do it?”

“That’s about the size of it, yeah.” He started to leave the kitchen, announcing the end to the discussion. But you weren’t done, and you had an idea.

“I love you.” You grinned, fumbling with your top as he walked away from you

“I love you too, which is why I won’t budge on this.” In the doorway, he pauses and turns. “What are you doing? Oh-”

Bucky’s eyes go wide and his mouth falls open as he takes you in. Your top and bra are pulled under your breasts so you could flash him, nipples peaked and firm.

“Really? You’re gonna do me like that, huh?” He can’t hide his smirk.

“Do you like what?” You cup your breasts and jiggle them for him, biting your lip as he moves towards you. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

When Bucky lunges for you, you shriek with laughter as you try to tuck your breasts away and jump down from the counter, but he catches you by the wrists and spreads your arms, baring your breasts to him fully.

“Don’t try to hide them now.” He looks hungry, eyes darkening in the best way possible. “I see what you’re doing.”

“But you’re falling for it.” You grin.

“You’re evil, you know that, right?” He lifts your wrists and releases them onto his shoulders as he slots himself between your parted knees and fondles your exposed breasts.

“I do.” You look at him from under your fluttering lashes as he leans in for a kiss.

It starts slow but within seconds he is moaning into your mouth as he tries to devour you. All of the hurt and frustration pours out of him as passion as he paws at your hips to bring you flush against his arousal. He doesn’t even try to pull your leggings down, he just tears a hole in them right at the crotch, making your gasp.

He fumbles his fly but frees himself successfully and sinks into you without warning, bottoming out with a groan. He rests his forehead against yours, cupping your face to keep you with him as he starts thrusting, repeatedly burying himself in you to the hilt.

You both have tears in your eyes as you climb the dizzy heights of pleasure and it’s him who closes his eyes first if only for a moment, blinking the tears away before he grits his teeth and pounds you harder. When you come he lets himself go, his last few thrusts sloppy and punctuated with soft grunts.

You cling to each other in the aftermath and when he meets your gaze again it’s full of love and sorrow.

“I can’t lose you,” he says.

“You won’t.”

“You can’t guarantee that,” he brushes some stray hairs from your forehead, “it would be just my luck that the best thing to ever happen to me would be taken away because I didn’t fight hard enough to protect it.”

“Bucky…”

He rolls his eyes and steps back, his softening cock slipping from you, leaving you empty. “Go on the mission,” he sniffs, “but if it goes wrong that’s the last solo mission you do, so help me god, I’ll be going with you even if it’s in a fucking convent.”

You don’t say thank you because you don’t need his permission, but it makes things a hell of a lot easier that he’s not going to keep giving you the cold shoulder. “Will you go over the mission brief with me, just to make sure?” You wanted to reassure him in any way you could that you were prepared.

“Sure.”

You grin and go to tuck your breasts away.

“Leave them,” he says with a cheeky glint in his eye, “I’m not done with you yet.”

You squeal with laughter as he picks you up, wrapping your legs around his waist and carries you to the bedroom. You’ve got a day’s worth of tension and arguing to fuck out of each other, and Bucky is eager to get down to business.

#bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes smut #bucky barnes fic #bucky barnes angst #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes fan fiction #bucky barnes #cloudy's writing

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am-i-the-asshole-official · 9 days

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WIBTA if I restart an argument with a friend?

🌊⚓ <- so I can search for it.

So, a while ago, a friend was over and we talked. She is from South Germany while I am from North Germany, where we are both living (this'll be important in a sec).

I don't really remember why we were talking about the topic, but we started talking about regional dialects and sayings and then she called Low German* a dialect. Which tldr: big no-no. But I don't think she was being malicious, she just didn't know about the topic at all.

So naturally I explained: "You absolutely cannot call Low German a dialect to peoples faces around here. People will take offense to it. I don't really, because I consider the difference between dialect and language is arbitrary to begin with. But you will provoke incredibly unkind reactions from other people."

Her response was "Yeah but like. Doesn't everyone think their own dialect should be a language."

And... Idk why that one hurt but it did. It just felt incredibly dismissive. And I didn't really know how to respond other than "but this is the one case where it is true" which felt weird so I just. Didn't. We kinda moved on to other topics. But in hindsight, I really wish I hadn't?

Because I wish I had explained it in depth to her so she understands why what she said is considered unacceptable. But also for her own sake, because she will piss people off if she says the same thing to other people. And honestly for my sake so I can make peace with the conversation.

So I'm considering either finding a way to restart the argument/ conversation when we are together or go the cowardly route and send her a couple screenshots explaining the topic. But I also feel like restarting a fight we never really had and really doesn't matter is kind of a dick move.

Additionally I tend to be a person that corrects people when they are wrong and starts discussion way too much. Because in my family academic debates are a love language.** So I tend to reaaaaaally overestimate the amount of debating/ arguing people are comfortable with. They tend to perceive me as being upset with them while I am just having fun hashing out a topic from different angles.

So Tumblr. WIBTA?

Footnotes

* Low German is the regional language of North Germany. The definition of North Germany is actually pretty much "wherever they are speaking Low German". There is some controversy if Low German is a dialect or a language. Which like... People often describe it as closer to Dutch and English than Standard German, it's a recognised language in every state it is spoken in, it is recognized as a regional language in the fucking European Union WHY is it still controversial.

It is also very much an endangered language because in the past decades especially it has been looked down on as being "lower class". No that's not where the name comes from, low german is spoken where the terrain is flat/ low and high/ upper german is spoken where the mountains are. This attitude towards Low German is shifting a lot recently but it is entirely possible it's too late to prevent it from dying out.

** I felt like this part needed some clarification too. I can't count how many dinners in my childhood were spent eating while getting into the meat of whatever topic caught our attention. Politics or science or more spiritual stuff. Ask questions about things we were wondering about. Absolutely tear into each other when we had opposing positions, but concede when we were convinced. Oftentimes I'd get up to grab pen and paper, or demonstrate orbital dynamics with the jam container, a bowl and my plate, or use the butter as an impromptu drawing board.

But that doesn't mean we were fighting in the normal sense even if someone got upset occasionally. It was really just communicating with one another. It was connecting. Exercising our debate skills. Play-fighting but make it academia. It was genuinely fun to us and still is. An alternative outlet for sibling rivalry. There is no need to fight over the TV remote when you can just reason it out together.

So yeah. That's how academic debates can be a love language (and simultaneously absolutely destroy your conception of what is considered arguing).

#aita #am i the asshole

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carriesthewind · 10 months

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Bye, I guess

Hi folks: I’ve enjoyed my time on tumblr while it lasted. Unfortunately, the new dashboard makes the site so unpleasant to use that I’m afraid that enjoyment (and thus my use of the site) has come to an end. I still have some reblogs queued up, and I may pop in now and then, but don’t expect me to be around much anymore.

For the record, here is the support request I put in yesterday:

Why is my dashboard now twitter. This format sucks. It's always sucked. It feels absolutely horrible to use on desktop (which I do exclusively and that will not change). This horrible ui is a big part of why didn't really use twitter (it sucked then to).

Here is tumblr’s answer:

Hello, Thanks for reaching out to Tumblr Community Support and sharing your thoughts on the new dashboard layout. We often test new ways to make Tumblr better. It sounds like your account may have been selected to experience a test of one of these improvements. Thanks for your patience while we work on this! You may see your Tumblr experience return to normal as we continue testing. Kind regards, Chris

(Please note, this appears to be a copy-paste form response. You can see another example of it here.)

Here was my response:

Hi Chris! I "may" not see my Tumblr user return to normal, because I'm not returning to Tumblr until it is reasonably usable again for me. This "experiment" is effectively an update that has made the site so unpleasant for me to use that I will not be doing so. What will tumblr being doing to allow me to use the site? I do not appreciate being told that my support ticket is "sharing [my] thoughts on the new dashboard layout." I neither asked or appreciate being selected taking part, without my knowledge or consent, in an experiment to allow a company to do product development. My ticket is not my "thoughts on the new dashboard layout." It is my report that the site is effectively not usuable. Furthermore, while not illegal, human experimentation is generally considered unethical without proper consent and review process. If my dash returns to a status that I can use: 1) What guarantees do I have that tumblr will not experiment on me again? 2) What other experiments does tumblr think it is ethical to do on me without proper consent? Kind regards to Chris, and explicitly not to your employer.

24 hours later, I have not received a follow up response.

I was originally going to write a lot more about why I think this is such an atrocious set of moves and responses by tumblr, but I realized that being on the site long enough to format and post it (I’m doing this writing on my desktop) would be too unpleasant to make it worthwhile.

Instead, I want to make two quick notes about traps I see people falling in to:

1) Tumblr is not your friend. It is a company that wants to use you to extrude profit. This hold true regardless of whether it is shaped like a shareholder’s report, a formal staff post, or a blog that looks just like a user like you. Regardless of its form, it is no more your friend than the “intern” who runs a corporate brand account.

2) It is fine to pay money for a product you enjoy. This product might be a digital sticker or a minigame on a website, or some form of subscription to the site itself. However, if you are not enjoying a product, or if you feel that the product is bad or exploitative, you have no obligation to invest in it. And you should be particularly wary when a for-profit business is attempting to make you, as a customer, feel emotionally and personally invested in supporting that business (whether that be in terms of time, energy, or money).

Anyway, I’m still hoping that I will be able to unpin this post at some point, but for the foreseeable future: bye!

#tumblr #tumblr update #bye tumblr

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blockgamepirate · 2 months

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Here are some suggestions I have for QSMP, that nobody asked for and that nobody involved with the server is going to actually see anyway (but I can't stop thinking about this so I have to write something down)

This is me trying to be constructive instead of just critical, because I do love this server and I want it to be sustainable

I guess this is vaguely addressed to either Quackity and/or to whoever is leading the team, idk, like I said they aren't gonna read a random tumblr post so who cares

And yes, obviously I'm sure some of the things in this post are already being improved on, I just think it's still worth listing them

1: Better communication all around

Especially within the admin team obviously, including the actors and builders and everyone, but also between the admin team and the streamers! And between the admin team and the audience as well!

I promise more communication almost always helps things work out more smoothly than keeping people out of the loop or not talking to each other, or worse; actively banning people from talking to each other

This includes being more open and reconsidering which things actually need to be kept secret and from whom, because if people don't know what to expect, they're not going to know how to prepare either! And they also won't be able to let you know about potential problems ahead of time!

The streamers and the actors and other team members as well should at the very least know about stuff that's going to affect their schedule and to have some idea of the kinds of things they're gonna be expected to do. If you just suddenly throw stuff at them and expect them to be immediately ready to cooperate or play along, that's just gonna cause frustration and burnout

I would also worry less about spoilers than about backlash when people expect one thing and get something completely different; you can in fact give a bit more hints so people don't get the wrong idea and end up disappointed

(And on the other hand if you have secrets that you can't talk about because they would lead to a big controversy if they were revealed uh.... maybe don't do the thing? Maybe simply don't do the controversial thing that you can't let people know about, consider it. If you feel like something you're doing would make people mad if they knew, that thing might in fact be a problem)

2: Show your respect for everyone involved in the project

Respect people's time, respect their ability to cooperate (AS LONG AS YOU TELL THEM WHAT'S GOING ON), listen to their ideas and concerns, etc. This is honestly also part of communicating better but it's an important part

Respecting and also demonstrating your respect for your team is so crucial as a leader, and it genuinely goes a long way even when you have very little else to give them

In fact I think often people would even appreciate respect more than they would appreciate money (although it has to be genuine respect, not just empty words; hence why I say you need to demonstrate your respect with your actions)

3: Have a more collaborative mindset

Think of all the members of the team and the streamers as partners rather than as employees or as customers; this is a collaborative creative project, not a business

As much as this started out as one man's passion project, there's no way to do something this ambitious other than as a team effort, including the actors, including the streamers, so it's just much healthier for everyone to think of it as such

Also it's just better for the stated goals of the server as well, because it's all about bringing people together and what better way to bring everyone together than to make them feel like they're part of a team?

4: That said, you don't actually need to drop all the admin driven lore, that's not what I'm saying orz

Just because I want the streamers to be more involved doesn't mean I think they should also be planning all the lore, that's just not necessary

pls do get a proper gamemaster on the team, though, someone who has experience running a LARP type of thing or at least a TTRPG campaign. That would help so much, and I bet you could ask Cellbit or Bagi or Charlie if they could recommend anyone

Honestly I could probably make a whole post just about how to run the admin driven lore better, but getting yourself an experienced gamemaster would be so much better than any specific advice I could give

5: If you're gonna have volunteers, you need to treat them like volunteers, not like employees

You have to respect the fact that volunteers are not subordinates, they're here to help you, not to be ordered around, banned from talking to people, judged for their availability, or made to sign weird NDAs

They're offering their labour for free because they care about the project or because they enjoy what they do, and they deserve to be appreciated for it, not policed and bossed around (not that you should treat actual employees with that kind of hostility either tbh)

Having volunteers is not necessarily the problem (at least as long as you're not using them to make a profit), it's treating volunteers as unpaid employees, because then you pretty much do just have unpaid employees instead of volunteers

Okay, finally the big one:

6: Consider running QSMP as a cooperative

I know this is Quackity's baby and a Quackity Studios' project, but the thing is, I don't think this model is sustainable

I mean, we already know it isn't sustainable, that's why we're in this mess

As far as I can tell, Quackity Studios is not making any profit from the server, there's no way the revenue from the admin streams and the QSMP Info channel would be enough to cover all the costs if people were paid decently (in fact I don't think it's even enough to cover the costs without paying everyone decently)

This sort of arrangement, with one party running the whole thing out of pocket, makes sense if it's either a very low maintenance server which doesn't cost much and doesn't require much work to keep running, or a very short-term one, more like an event type of thing

QSMP is neither of those, QSMP is both very high maintenance and has been running for almost a full year

I think there's absolutely value in having an ambitious long term project like this, it's very cool, it's very hype, but this is not a good way to run it

And it's especially bizarre considering that people do make money out of it, but the people making money are the streamers

So I would suggest taking some tips from the Hermitcraft SMP server which is run as a collective. Obviously Hermitcraft is much lower maintenance but their model is also much more robust, because there isn't just one person who has to take responsibility for everything, or pay for everything

It would also encourage the spirit of international cooperation to have the streamers literally be part of the server, not just as guests but as partners, so they could have a say in how the server is run and be more invested in the project

(At least those streamers who want to be involved, of course I realise some of them might choose not to)

This would require regular meetings, but I think that's also a good thing, and an opportunity to also talk things through off-camera whenever any issues come up (better communication again!)

AND it would mean that the streamers should actually contribute to the server costs and paying the admins and other behind the scenes people. Probably based on their stream revenue from QSMP streams because obviously some of these streamers make more money than others (I would suggest a progressive membership fee (like progressive taxation style) to make sure that it's not more taxing for the smaller streamers than the bigger ones, but obviously it should all be agreed on between the members)

And IMO the admins, including the actors, the builders, the devs, the translators, etc. should also be considered partners, but since they don't make money directly, the way the streamers do, they should be the ones who are getting compensated for their contributions so they're better able to commit to the project, by which I mean yes you should pay them, but not as employees but as creative partners

Of course this is just one idea, I'm not saying it's necessarily the only good model by any means, it's just a suggestion, all of these are just suggestions

#qsmp #qsmp discourse #sorry for the long post

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achaotichuman · 2 months

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It went right over my head when I read it before but it’s wild to think you were an IC fan before 🤯

Some of the awful years.

Y’all will flip at this, but here were my thoughts on the Acotar cast when I was fresh in the fandom.

Rhysand- Liked him, didn’t feel as bad for him as others did but I knocked that down to me just straight up not being attracted to him. I started hating him in Acosf tho. I hadn’t read Acosaf because I thought it a waste of time. But if I had seen those scenes before Silver flames then I would’ve probably hated him sooner.

Feyre- I thought she was really fucking annoying. Especially in her scenes with Nesta. Not much can be said for her because Feyre was more of a device to see through. But I would be the last to advocate for her. Obviously that has changed drastically.

Morrigan- Liar. First thing that comes to mind. She seemed like a white girl who peaked in highschool so I just didn’t like her.

Amren- She was my favourite character second to Nesta. Solely for the reason we now had a morally grey character that actually acted like an unapologetically bad person when she wanted to. This has severely changed. Also literally two lines into her introduction I was screaming Valg King. Amren is a Valg King no one can change my mind. That part hasn’t changed.

Cassian- I was a die hard Cassian fan. I loved this man. I swear to God I would have gone to war for him. I was also die hard nessian. Obviously that has also changed, for the better in my opinion.

Azriel- I cannot physically express how much I hated Azriel. He was quite literally my least favourite character, I wanted him dead. I was hoping every single page that he would be killed off. He was there for vibes and vibes only. Since Azris I am a changed man, but sometimes I just can’t stand him.

Nesta- My Queen. My Lady. My wife. My mirror. She made me feel seen and heard. I love this woman and I always will.

Elain- No opinions on her. I figured pretty quickly she would be a bigger factor later on but I had no opinions on her. I am very pro Elain now, but in canon I just don’t really trust SJM with her. Which is also why my only solid ship with her is Gywnlain. I am very anti Elriel, always was.

Lucien- My heart and soul. I was obsessed with this man. I wanted to wrap him up and hold him close. Still do.

Eris- I didn’t understand the hype in Acowar but come silver flames and I was diving deep into this man. Trying to undo every cryptic word. I developed a very deep love for him. One that has only grown.

Tamlin- Felt sorry for him, but overall I had no strong opinions. I really wanted Acotar back. In the first book I would have probably given up a kidney for him, then it went down slowly. In Acowar however I was defending this man left and right. By Acosf I wanted more Tamlin.

Then I started to deep dive into the characters and their arcs. This was before I joined Tumblr. And the more I read the more convinced I was that in the next book the IC was going to have a falling out because their dynamics made no sense to me. They looked like they were slowly breaking, and Rhysand was very shortly put on my anti list.

But I never made a big fuss about my thoughts because if I did I got attacked really fuckin quickly.

Then I joined Tumblr and found a great community where I could hate and be supported.

Love you guys to death. Thanks to all of you I get to be in my Pro Tamlin, anti IC world and I am so glad I get to be here.

Edit- I was also extremely closeted when I first read Acotar and that definitely had its affect on my opinions on some of the characters.

#anti ic #anti rhysand #pro tamlin #pro nesta archeron #acotar #critical feyre archeron #anti rhys

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bluedalahorse · 3 months

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Okay, I’ll bite. Posts like this one on the confessions blog kind of make me wonder/worry about how I come across on tumblr. I’m one of those people who’s 200% down for the secondary characters in YR, particularly the controversial ones. I’m also someone who’d been lurking for a while prior to season 2 airing, but joined tumblr a little bit after season 2 to finally start discussing with people.

Given the way the post I linked above resonates with some of the themes I made a post about few days ago, it seems like the anon and I might both be struggling with some of the patterns of conversation in fandom. That said, we’re coming from very different places. And given the way I engage with this fandom, I sometimes wonder if I’m the antagonist in someone’s fandom story.

I do recognize that some of my posts come from a place where I could come across as pretentious, lecturing, or overbearing in some way. When I first de-lurked this fandom, I talked about a lot of the show in terms of craft and literary theory and such, in part because I’m in grad school for just that and in part because I hang out with a friends group IRL who uses that existing vocabulary to discuss things we love. I was also using the academic voice with a dose of sarcasm thrown in as a sort of armor, because I knew my favorite characters in the show (Sara and August) were so widely beloathed by so many people. I was worried that if my first post was “wow they sure are cute even if they’re messy; where do I find the fanfic?” I wouldn’t make friends, or possibly would even get chased off of tumblr. I figured it was much safer to come in and say things like “I find it really interesting to see how their relationship is a narrative foil to Wilmon’s, and them being together really raises the stakes of the drama” and keep my Big Feelings to myself. (Especially since some posters can be pretty nasty about my faves, and make assumptions about what I’m an “apologist” for when I talk about them.) I still lean into academic speak to some extent—like I said, it’s part of who I am even outside of YR, so it’s hard to shake. But rest assured there is fannish passion behind it, and also know I don’t think academic speak should be a requirement for participating in fandom.

I’m also wondering… what role should making the case for the characters and plotlines one loves play in establishing one’s fandom presence? Like, in general? Ultimately my motive when I make my posts, analysis or otherwise, is to invite people to play in my weird little sandbox with me. (If they want to, of course!) I recognize that some of my fandom opinions/hills I will die on are what they are, so I imagine some folks don’t want to change their opinions any more than I do. But I also recognize that in more than two decades of being in fandom, there are times when someone else’s passion for a character or a take on some aspect of a show or book really led me to see something new and interesting, or hook on to particular rarepairs or whatever else. That’s the beauty of fandom as a community—we all get more excited about things together and share our love of things. Since some of my favorite aspects of YR are much much more rarely represented in fanworks, I’m usually talking about how I adore them in hopes that I’ll continue to find the people who like the things I like, and in hopes that maybe I’ll spark something in someone’s brain and they’ll write a cool fic or draw cool art or something. Talking to people here has made me more interested in pairings like Walty and Stedrika, which I didn’t think about as much before on my first watchthroughs of the show. So anyway… I do know there’s some folks out there who are never gonna be interested in what I’m interested in. I also know there are folks, myself included, who’ve learned things from what other people are passionate about. I also know there are some opinions that seem a lot more unpopular than they are until someone voices them.

I recognize that the two factors above—a tendency toward academic speak, and another tendency to make the case for the less popular things I love about the show in hopes that people will join me, combined with maybe me not having the best day or not choosing my words well—all that together and I could I see how I could come across as pretentious or holier-than-thou or looking down on people. (And admittedly there are times where my posts come from a place of frustration about the way certain characters are talked about. I think we’ve all been there at one time or another.) It really isn’t my intention to come across in a negative way, but I can see how it would happen. It’s also possible I’m doing something that completely doesn’t register with me at all, but it’s super hurtful to others. I may not know the full extent to how I’ve bothered someone, because ultimately I am just in my own head.

If I’ve hurt you or made you feel crappy in your time being a fan on tumblr, I am truly sorry. I’m open to talking about it if you want to talk about it, but also, zero pressure if you just kind of want to hang out in your own space and do your own thing.

To sum up… it seems like on one hand there’s a portion of fandom that seems to want to embrace the YR world in its entirety, and another portion of fandom that would like to lean into a focus on Wilmon. And there’s probably people all across a spectrum there, because nothing is a strict binary. All are valid approaches! I don’t think we all need to be best friends, but I do think we need to figure out how to coexist and assume positive intent in each other’s approaches to the work. Does anyone have ideas about that? Are there hashtags we could be using a little more carefully? I don’t have answers yet, but it is something I’m thinking about.

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nepenthean-sleep · 10 months

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griddlehark fic recs, part 4

hello and welcome to part 4 which is locked behind a community label because tumblr sucks. as a general rule i do not recommend smut because one person's sexy can be another person's squick and vice versa. nevertheless: i have some M and E rated fic recs (not all of them are smut, btw). please remember to check the tags before reading a fic.

with that being said: this fandom has some incredible writers and i'm very happy to share the below fics with you guys. tumblr usernames have been added if i could find them (sorry for the notification!). here is part 1, part 2, and part 3.

Flinch M - InverseAlchemist oneshot set after the pool scene in gtn. a beautifully written fic in which gideon and harrow share a bed for warmth (a classic) and harrow spirals a bit about it. there is so much longing.

So Familiar a Gleam E - silverapples short oneshot, harrow nova au featuring kiriona gaia. nova has a dream about kiriona and its just as disconcerting and interesting as you’d think.

turn you inside out (lick you like a crisp packet) E - valancytrinit / @valancietrinit long oneshot, modern au. a first of many wonderful fics from one of the best griddlehark writers in the fandom. gideon and harrow are roommates and gideon has a really bad 48 hours that culminates in a really good morning. this fic is an excellent balance of chaotic and angsty and sweet.

knife to a gunfight E - dryrsheet two chapter modern au. they were roommates! they were roommates sharing a bed! gideon is extremely oblivious in this one and the irony is delicious. also has one of the lines of all time:

“Okay,” Gideon said, “I need you to act like I am actually as stupid as you pretend to think I am and explain why in the fuck you want me to do that.”

hand to heart i swear M - corpsesoldier / @corpsesoldier short oneshot. harrow heals gideon’s stigmata. i very badly want this to be a thing in alecto, but i am happy with this fic version right now. this fic is superb and i love everything about it.

you're still the one pool where i'd happily drown E - valancytrinit / @valancietrinit long post-ntn speculative multi-chapter, completed. i love everything about this fic. i was literally hanging on every word when i read each chapter for the first time. the writing is incredible. there is a shower scene that is legitimately fucking shakespearean. additionally, i absolutely love the way that harrow’s mental health is portrayed in this fic as someone who struggles with similar conditions.

illbringthestrap69420 liked your post E - imalwaysstraight / @nooomagnus long multi-chapter college/uni au, currently unfinished. the enemies to anonymous tumblr mutuals to lovers fic. listen. this fic is an incredible experience for dramatic irony enjoyers. this fic is like dramatic irony: the fic. i love this fic so fucking much. another fic that has kept me on the edge of my seat while reading.

Bid My Blood to Run M - winterkill / @thebrimmingheart short oneshot. another fic where harrow heals gideon’s stigmata! the banter in this fic is wonderful. again, i really hope there's a scene like this in atn.

Let Me Hold It Lightly M - downjune / @itstartledme short oneshot set during htn. a classic ‘harrow sees gideon in her dreams’ situation. very tender and bittersweet.

Wormian E - BonesforTime long oneshot, postcanon au/spec. harrow works through some religious trauma. ok full disclosure: my favorite thing about this fic is the way it’s written. when i first read it, the prose had me completely fucking bewitched. the fic gets more speculative towards the end, and as it was written pre-ntn there’s some pretty big discrepancies with current canon. regardless, the fic itself is extremely well written and compelling.

east of the sun, west of the moon E - zealotarchaeologist short oneshot set during htn. another dream situation, this time featuring harrianthe and harrow/the body. the writing here is exquisite.

let's drink to feelings of temptation not rated - overnights / @televangelists long oneshot, modern bartending au. gideon gets hired at camilla’s bar and harrow is not having it. there’s women who hate each other. there’s customer service shenanigans. there’s ianthe in a grocery store. it’s a very solid modern au.

Mors Vincit Omnia M - WalkingDisaster / @four-for-fidelity long multi-chapter modern au, currently unfinished. a murder mystery where gideon is a witness in an investigation and has to assist forensic scientist harrow. it’s really well written and the mystery is very fun and macabre! it is currently unfinished but i am excited to see where the plot goes.

grab me by my ankles (i've been flying for too long) E - valancytrinit / @valancietrinit long oneshot, college/uni au. harrow is a competitive diver and gideon is a mechanic who ends up carpooling harrow to diving practice. there is a truly astounding amount of dyke drama going on here and it is excellent. the dialogue is incredible as well.

#gideon the ninth #harrow the ninth #nona the ninth #griddlehark #the locked tomb #fic recs #tumblr wouldnt let me tag half of these usernames so i just put in links to their blogs instead #neph.txt #neph tltposting

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pudding-parade · 1 year

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Snow Mountain Ville by Angela Ester

It's Wednesday, and it's a world overview, and for once this one isn't on the Exchange. Woo! But, it is an older world, uploaded in 2012, and it's a mountainous one. Mountain worlds will catch my attention even more than desert worlds will, so...yeah.

And this one's very pretty! Perpetually snow-capped mountains with more in the distance via a distant terrain (Sunset Valley's, I think), a big waterfall, lots of evergreen trees. Feels like home, to me. Just needs some aspens. (And, @echoweaver, it could be an excellent Warrior Cats world?)

It's a fairly big world, but I think it's still 1024x1024, and the playable area is pretty condensed, which IMO makes worlds easier to play. The world requires all EPs that existed at the time that it was uploaded, which is up to Pets. I don't think it requires anything from stuff packs or the Store, and there is no CC included or needed, as far as I can tell.

The world has many lots both community/rabbithole and residential. I'd say about 40% of the houses are fully furnished, and the rest are empty. (More about the residential lots after the cut.) The world has many duplicate rabbitholes (two hospitals, three science buildings, twi business buildings, a bunch of diners and bistros, etc.), but I suspect it's mostly for the look of the buildings rather than their function. For instance, the science rabbitholes look pretty industrial, and they're sitting in the part of the "downtown" that looks more industrial. With all those rabbitholes, it means there'll be plenty of job opportunities in the town, but if you use the Job Overhaul mod, it also means that the job your sim wants (or that you want them to have) might be drowned out by redundant offers from the redundant rabbitholes. So, you could delete some of the extras and replace them with something playable but with the right "look." Or, you could use the Transmogrifier to turn the extra rabbitholes into non-functional deco buildings. Whatever. My point is, they don't have to remain rabbitholes. LOL

The world has all of the available-at-the-time spawners except the WA fish ones, and they're well-distributed throughout the world.

The title of this post is a link to the world's upload on the creator's Blogspot blog. I'm not uploading a .world file this time because this world isn't on the Exchange, and the creator is active and creates lots and worlds/neighborhoods for TS2, TS3, and TS4. She is active on YouTube, but I wasn't able to find a Tumblr for her. So, I thought I'd advertise her on Tumblr, too. :)

If you download this world and find yourself liking it, I recommend taking a look at the creator's other downloads. There are four or five other worlds as nice as this one, as well as many lots in different sizes and styles that would fit into this world or others.

There's more specific info and many more pictures behind the cut.

First up, we'll do some overhead pics of the world in map view and Edit Town. Here are both views for most of the world:

You can see the redundant rabbitholes in the map view pic, mostly in the "downtown" area in the upper right of the pictures. There are also two salons, two firehouses, and two consignment shops in the world, though only one of each is categorized as such. The others are categorized as art galleries, for some reason. Both of the firehouses are EA, as is one of the salons and one of the consignment shops. I don't know if there was a rationale behind the duplication, but if I were to play this world, I'd probably replace the EA salon and consignment shop and one of the firehouses with something else, probably lot types for the later EPs. There are also some other community lots that are missing proper categorization. For instance, there's a laundromat that's categorized as no visitors allowed. Again, I don't know if this was intentional or if something just got messed up in the packing process or when I converted the sims3pack to a .world file. Whatever the case, it's easily changed/fixed.

Here are map view and Edit Town pics of the rest of the world:

As you can see, these lots are mostly residential, and there are a number of empty lots as well. I like that the residential lots in this world are broken out into distinct sections. So, let's take a look at some of them.

First, there are some apartment lots in the "downtown" area. A couple of them are EA lots from Late Night, though they may have been edited (I didn't look), but the others are original and are furnished. Some pics:

Then, in the lower right of the pics of the main part of the map, you can see a block of 27 residential lots. These are all identical one-bedroom houses on 20x20 lots, and they are all identically partitioned inside but empty. They look like this on the outside:

I don't personally have a use for 27 one-bedroom houses, so I would switch some of these out for other small bungalow houses I have that have more bedrooms, or build some new ones. But if you do have a use for 27 one-bedroom houses and are OK with the tract housing look, you can easily change exterior colors and add different plantings and stuff like that, so that they don't all look exactly the same, and then furnish up these little guys.

Speaking of little guys, another residential area is the small island connected to the downtown area by a bridge. It's in the top center of the overhead pics above. There are 8 small lots situated on a walk path on that island, and 3 of those lots have furnished houses on them. Again, they're little one-bedroom houses, but they're really cute, and they're spread out amongst the trees, some with mountain views and some with ocean views. Here are two of them:

I'd use these as my starters, personally. Assuming I'm starting with single sims.

And here are some pics of some of the other residential lots in the more "suburban" residential areas of the world, where the step-up/wealthy lots are. Plus there's another such pic before the cut on this post:

Overall, I quite like the residential lots in this world. Some of them are EA lots, but I think they've been edited a bit because they aren't the impractical eyesores that EA lots tend to be. The yellow mansion aside, they're very much my style because I prefer more compact houses. They're just easier to play, IMO, because you don't lose your sims in them. That said, I do think there are too many one-bedroom lots in this world because I tend to think that most players want their sims to procreate, and small, one-bedroom houses aren't very conducive to that, at least not in the long term. But, as I said, this is easily remedied, if you agree with me.

Next, we'll have a quick look at some of the community lots, most of which are in the "downtown" area:

Respectively, those are:

A cat park next door to one of the firehouses

The non-EA consignment shop

The library (on the left side of the pic) and the non-EA salon

A little park next to the city hall. There are a number of similar little parks in the "downtown" area. Some of them have some playground equipment on them, some just have seating. You could easily add more stuff to them, if you wanted to. Plus there's a full-blown playground next to the block of 27 one-bedroom houses.

A nectary with a big community garden next door

A chapel set up for weddings. Directly behind is the graveyard with a mausoleum. They are separate lots, but with no space between them.

Annnnd we'll finish off with some random scenery of this very pretty world. :)

#sims 3 #world overview #world overview wednesday #sims 3 pictures #sims 3 scenery

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waitmyturtles · 11 months

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THAT WAS PERFECT. SPOILERS FOR EP. 4 OF OUR SKYY 2 x BBS X ATOTS.

What can I say. I don't really know what to say. I'm going to blather because otherwise I'm gonna start really crying in this Starbucks.

I have so much Aof on my mind right now, especially with wrapping up not just this Our Skyy 2 series, but Bad Buddy, ATOTS, and finishing off He's Coming To Me last night (which I haven't intentionally processed yet, because I want to do a little rewatching before I get any passing words down).

Another thing I wanted to consider before starting on the episode is that while I've been so hugely focused on Pat and Pran, that I was also saying goodbye to my very first Aof couple in Phupha and Tian. I watched ATOTS WELL before even ever thinking about doing a Thai BL watchlist. I literally only watched ATOTS to get to know Earth and Mix before the premiere of Moonlight Chicken, close to the time that I joined Tumblr last summer. And I was fucking HOOKED after that.

I mean, before I get into my thoughts on this episode, I think what I'm feeling is similar to how I felt when I finished Bad Buddy. I just feel really fulfilled as an Asian that an Asian director is exploring all of these monumental themes in such an in-depth, loving, empathic, and creative way, vis à vis the lens of queer Asian characters in Asia dealing with issues very familiar to my own culture, and my watching how these characters, vis à vis the writing and direction of Aof himself, navigate those worlds.

What I'm realizing about this episode are a number of themes -- again, themes, as I wrote this morning to dear @wen-kexing-apologist, that I see Aof returning to time and time again. (I'm feeling really surprisingly emotional still, so this post is going to ramble a bit, the writing is not calming things down as it usually does.)

I think what's getting me really emotional here is that this episode was about transcendence -- HUGE transcendence on the part of Phupha, but on all the other guys, too. But in regards to how the transcendence STARTED, and from whom and to whom it started: it all happened when Pat and Pran arrived in Pha Pun Dao, and experienced Tian and Phupha, and vice versa. All of them experienced each other, and all of them changed because of it. Because they had found queer community amongst each other, they were able to share their experiences with new people, compare stories and emotions, and grow the better because of it.

Something I didn't realize last week was (or maybe I did, and I can't remember writing about it, because I'm a jumble): Pat and Pran moved again, Hegel-ian style, as I wrote in my massive BBS thesis. They went from Bangkok to Pha Pun Dao, a nicely big trip. Pat and Pran move, independently and together, always searching for their synthesis, which they can't QUITE find, because their families are in the way.

But they came REAL close to a public synthesis in this episode, and we know that they were essentially on another out honeymoon in Pha Pun Dao last week and this week, knowing that they were in the company of another queer couple, as @wen-kexing-apologist so sharply noted last night.

And then -- vis à vis Phupha's permission, a new modality of finding openness and honesty -- they came as close to a public synthesis, together, in the play as they could possibly find. While still closeted to almost everyone around them. They were still able to provide cover for fucking Dissaya. But they were as out as they could be between BBS episodes 11 and 12.

And that's just Pat and Pran's transcendence journey. With each Pat and Pran having separate conversations with Tian and Phupha in Pha Pun Dao, they could TRANSCEND THEMSELVES, their biases about their relationship with each other, and reflect on what holds people back in their own relationship. Indirectly, Pat and Pran were learning about what was holding Phupha back in being open and honest with Tian, and reflecting back to Chief on how THEY related to that (as communicative and reflecting youngsters), and Phupha could see THEIR processing, and learn from that. Pat and Pran could process because THEY found queer community, as much as Phupha and Tian did.

So: back to Aof and his themes. The theme of community building. How building a community and strength in numbers can help you grow.

It was so meaningful to hear Phupha comment that no one understood Phupha and Tian better than Pat and Pran. BECAUSE YOU NEED COMMUNITY TO GROW TOGETHER, AND THAT IS WHAT AOF IS SAYING FOR EQUITY FOR THE ASIAN QUEER COMMUNITY: FIND EACH OTHER AND BE TOGETHER, STRONGER. There are so many forces working against that community in each country of the continent, in their own ways.

And what happens when that happens, when people find community? You get strength and growth. You get a story like Phupha, who UTTERLY TRANSCENDED HIMSELF IN THIS EPISODE, MY GAWD. And Phupha did a Bad Buddy, he did a Hegelian thesis transition. HE MOVED. HE CROSSED HIS BORDERS and WENT TO THE CITY. As Pat and Pran, in episode 11, had to go to the eco-village -- Phupha needed to go to the city to close this newly awakened circle in him to confirm his relationship with Tian, and to find his sturdiness and commitment in living his life to take care of his partner.

Phupha found his courage through Pat, seeing how utterly OPEN and sappy Pat was to Pran. Phupha found that HE COULD STILL BE HIMSELF through Pran, hearing and seeing Pran's own reticence, Pran's own inclination to hold himself back. Phupha saw himself and Tian in Pat and Pran, and saw how a different paradigm could play out, simply with different mindsets.

I'm feeling really, just.... I am feeling really deeply grateful that we got to close out all of this on Phupha's story. Especially discussed among the friends (@lurkingshan, @shortpplfedup, @bengiyo, @wen-kexing-apologist, @ginnymoonbeam, and @kyr-kun-chan) -- could the ATOTS story have held up WITHOUT Pat and Pran?

Maybe? But, but, but. That wasn't Aof's point -- AT ALL.

Aof's point was to hammer home the equity of community. How you can be a BETTER PERSON when OTHER PEOPLE are helping you reflect, with THEIR PERSPECTIVES, on your life and your struggles.

There's a part of me that thinks here that there's a parable regarding the importance of having the freedom TO BE OUT. Each of the four guys -- Tian, Phupha, Pat, and Pran -- have their own ways of dealing with outness, and what it means to them. Each of them has their own group of people that would be affected by their outness.

And, fucking Christ, how beautiful. What we got to see in this episode is the internal reckoning of each character -- BUT ESPECIALLY PHUPHA, BECAUSE HE'S THE ELDEST AND WAS LIKELY EXPERIENCING THE MOST DIFFICULTY IN ADAPTING BECAUSE OF HIS PAST EXPERIENCES that we know nothing about (Uncle Jim, Uncle Jim).

We see Pran's reckoning at the moment of the play -- that he's gonna fool Dissaya. We see Pat not giving a toss for Ming. We see Tian WANTING Phupha in with his parents.

Each of the guys are in a different place and a different moment with their micro-circles. They needed to talk about their own stories with each other, and to hear each other tell their own stories, to build this story together of community.

They needed to each, vis à vis all of each other, that each one of them, individually, do need to compromise -- but not to GIVE UP THEIR LIVES for each other, or for anyone else in their lives.

None of these guys needed to give up their lives to compromise to each other's demands or characteristics. Pat and Pran do not need to use their lives to repay the fucking foibles of their parents. They're gonna play their parents until their parents are ready, which I love and think that that's very realistic and empathic from the lens of Asian filial piety. (I LOVE @grapejuicegay's analysis -- and I like it, and am going with, the read that Pran needs to get separation from Dissaya through Singapore. Boy, do I ever fucking relate to that.)

Phupha doesn't need to use his life of reticence and secrecy to repay... what -- the world's bias against the queer community? Thailand's bias against public servants being out and open?

And Tian's is helping him through that. But Phupha couldn't have done this ONLY with Tian, because Tian has his own needs and his own issues, his own stubbornness, that Phupha and Tian need to contend with as a couple.

Phupha needed the big push, he needed the push of the community that Pat and Pran provided, and the objective REFLECTION that Pat and Pran provided vis à vis the play, to TRANSCEND himself and get to a place of openness and comfort.

And he found that, in the arms of Tian, but also in the acceptance of Tian's parents and Tian's community in Tul.

I think it is really ripping my heart apart that the close of ATOTS was told with the story of Bad Buddy. I actually don't see it ending any other way. And we didn't get a close of Bad Buddy, per se. We're getting the close of Pat and Pran and OhmNanon, for sure, but we know the boys will find ways to move forward in our beloved world of fiction, wherever they go.

We do know that Phupha has committed, openly, in family and community, to love and care for Tian, Tian with the borrowed heart and the thousandth star on his finger -- and that's exactly an ending for ATOTS that I could have asked for.

I have more to process... but mom needs a break and a cocktail tonight. I could not have asked for anything more than this -- I am so fulfilled.

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poohsources · 10 months

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it's past midnight here already which means it's officially june 28th and therefore my birthday. and i wanted to take this opportunity to say a few words to you all because it's been a while since i've last done that.

when i first started this blog in october 2021 it was basically just meant to be a low-key, small creative outlet for when i'm not feeling like writing and doing the actual roleplaying part ( which i love, don't get me wrong, but i happen to struggle a lot with writer's block ). i loved making memes since i felt like i never found any i was totally vibing with as it often feels quite shippy / romance focused. so i decided to make my own and put them here for others to use as well. i also liked playing around in photoshop to create my own stuff so why not put this here as well? anyway, i started to branch out more and more and grew both as a creator and a person, found my footing here on tumblr, and decided that i wanted to give back to the community i've been part of for so many years now and create a safe place for everyone. and so this little old blog of mine that was never meant to be anything big suddenly grew more and more. all of which would have been impossible without any of you.

your continuous support is what keeps me going. i'm still baffled by the activity this blog every single day, and i'm always super happy whenever people use my templates or my memes, i still regularly check out the notes on my posts and i'm thrilled whenever i get a new ask ― even though i'm absolutely terrible when it comes to answering them in a timely manner. but what i'm trying to say is thank you. thank you all for following me, liking and reblogging my posts, downloading my creations, sending me asks and messages, donating money, and just being awesome. i wouldn't be where i am without any of you here, and that truly means so much to me.

so thank you all from the bottom of my heart. i love you!

#pooh speaks.

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lovvecherrymotion · 4 months

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everyone has been posting about their 2023 and how much jere and joker out have impacted their lives and i guess it's my turn now

this is pretty long and all over the place but... i have a lot to say, i guess

i'm a big eurovision fan but not to the point of watching all the national finals or preparties or anything. i'm pretty invested in it during may but prior to this year i haven't really gotten invested in any artists (at least not to this extent)

anyway, this year, for some reason, i ended up watching cha cha cha the day after the umk final and i was in love. i didn't even need to listen to any other songs - i knew right away käärijä was my 2023 winner. i decided to check other songs that were already out and... guess what other song i liked right away? yeah, carpe diem

and then the universe decided it'd be lovely if bojan and jere met and it fundamentally changed the trajectory of my year. their friendship made me so happy at a time of my life i was struggling so much in terms of mental health - and with their friendship, their music, their interviews, and the rest of the kä crew and joker out

i started lurking around tumblr again. i didn't feel comfortable enough to participate in fandom, but i did love seeing all the content and all the discussions everyone was having. i hadn't felt this excited joining a new fandom in... years, literally. and despite all the shitty moments i've had in 2023, both jere and joker out have helped me a lot and i've felt so happy thanks to them

when i got the ticket for the tavastia show, i spoke to non fandom friends, expecting them to tell me it was a silly idea to fly to the other side of europe just to see joker out (and potentially experience the next bojere reunion), but they all said the same - we haven't seen you this happy about anything in a long time. you should go. and it was one of the best concert experiences of my life

then i also booked an entire trip to dublin to see jere AND I GOT TO MEET HIM? and now i'm getting my first tattoo ever? and, sure, i also got covid for the first time in my life, but it was yet another AMAZING concert experience and one i'll never forget, both thanks to jere and everyone else i met in line. dublin will forever be in my heart. it's one of those experiences that seemed straight out of a fanfic and i can't believe it all happened to me

and finally, it was time to see joker out in madrid, which was a little bit of a birthday gift to myself. i was awake for 30 hours straight and i don't even know how i survived, but it was PHENOMENAL. i truly loved every second of it

after dublin, i made the decision to start being a bit more active around here and got to meet some more lovely people and... while i still feel a bit weird, because i'm not exactly the best at interacting with others and i often feel like i'm the kid who transferred schools mid school year and is still trying to figure out exactly how to fit in, i do love how wonderful this community is. our silly joint fandom has brought me so much joy and i can't wait to see how it'll be in 2024

i'm not exactly ending this year feeling great, in terms of mental health, and i've been feeling quite down about certain things both jere and joker out had helped me feel a bit better about - body image and my own writing being the two main ones - but i seriously believe the positive impact they've had on me will influence how i deal with this during 2024 and i do hope to get to a better place

i wish you all the very best and thank you for being a part of my wonderful fandom experience and making my days a little brighter 💖 and i guess this is a good moment to say that my messages/inbox are always open and i'm always more than happy to make new fandom friends! also, if any of you are going to milan, just let me know (and, yes, i'm still deciding on some more joker out dates for next year because i can't resist spending money on them, it seems 💀)

#joker out #käärijä #i love you all seriously #personal

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kipandkandicore · 9 months

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alright, so we feel like we need to respond to @eeveecraft ‘s post that they made using the document we’ve compiled.

looks like they’ve blocked this syscourse blog… but not our main. so we cannot reblog their post with our thoughts, but we can still see it (and therefore are going to respond to it). we don't think it's block evasion to respond in this way… (though if it is, let us know and we'll rewrite this response on our main blog which isn't blocked).

we don’t like to vague or to talk about a post without reblogging it directly, but we don’t see another way for us to respond properly, so here we go.

we are anticipating this will be quite long... so we're preemptively putting this under a cut.

here’s a link to the original post so you can read it for yourselves and come to your own conclusions!!

and here is a link to our document compiling thoughts on tulpamancy language by those affected. it is so important to center voices of marginalized groups in discussions that impact them!!

but after witnessing an announcement by Plural Nest that they’re switching to parogenic terminology because they’ve been convinced by sysmeds that tulpa = appropriation while literally “sourcing” things from minors, singlets, non-Tibetans, and yes, of course, sysmeds is just so goddamn frustrating that I’m going to write this post. I will be referring to this Google Doc Plural Nest themselves linked in their announcement that contains a motley of blogs and accounts by various people:

it's weird to us that at the very beginning of this post the author claims that the poc voices we've included should be disregarded because they are "minors, singlets, non-tibetans, and sysmeds."

first of all: do minors and singlets not get to have a say on their culture? do they not get to speak out when they notice cultural appropriation that is causing them harm? additionally, is this not an issue that concerns buddhists, and specifically asian buddhists? as we understand it, the term "tulpa" has direct ties to vajrayana buddhist practices. we believe that a buddhist does not have to be specifically tibetan in order to understand this language and to feel affected by western cultural appropriation.

also: how does this person define "sysmed?" because many of the individuals linked in the document are not system medicalists, nor do many of them disbelieve that the western practice of tulpamancy exists. as far as we know, this has always been an issue of adjusting language to respect people of color. not attacking the practice itself.

last, it's interesting that they linked the doc (which includes our tumblr information) but didn't feel it was necessary to @ us, either on this blog or on our main. huh.

now onto their prefaces:

Something that has always bothered me about this “discourse” is that the people who go on and on and on about how they’re protecting minorities and stopping actual harmful, real appropriation by attacking the Tulpamancy community never: Go after actual harmful depictions of tulpa that actively profit off of sensationalizing the paranormal version of the word and deliberately linking it to Tibetan Buddhism (Supernatural, Mandela Catalogue, Slenderman, etc). Uplift the voices of actual Tibetan Buddhists, even ones who disagree with them (which there ARE Tibetan Buddhists who are 100% okay with tulpa as a term, not just the Tibetan Buddhist AMA). Explain how us using tulpa to describe our systemmates is actively harming Tibetan Buddhists. They just say it’s harmful without providing any real examples of harm besides the word annoying them.

why put "discourse" in quotes? are we having a conversation? or are you trying to make it look like these discussions are one sided?

we're a white system. however, we are doing what we can to learn about racism, and are trying to become an active antiracist in our spaces. a big part of unlearning racism is learning how and when to pipe down and listen to the voices of people of color, especially when they're speaking out about something that harms them.

we're not the ones insisting that tulpa language is harmful with no basis for these claims. we are doing what we can to uplift marginalized voices who have said as much. centering poc voices in issues that they feel concern them is an important part of having less racist discussions in our spaces. idk if we’d say we're "protecting minorities" here... rather, we're attempting to make sure the voices of these minorities are heard, acknowledged, and taken seriously. and eeveecraft has done the first two in their post, but not the last.

1) we are personally unfamiliar with supernatural (watched a few seasons years ago and haven't touched it since), mandela catelogue, or slenderman. in fact, we haven't really seen tulpamancy acknowledged in public spaces and fictional works at all. that doesn't mean that we condone the racism within these works!!! we just can't speak on them as of yet because we haven't consumed that content. we certainly would like to, so we can understand what this author is saying about tulpamancy portrayals in media. but we feel like sensationalized instances of tulpamancy in popular media is not the only way this language has been harmful. people online using tulpamancy language have proven to be racist and unwilling to listen to marginalized groups. and since we're more involved with the system community than with the supernatural, mandela catelogue, or slenderman communities... we haven't spoken about it. because we are not a part of those spaces, and are still pretty uneducated about them specifically and how they have portrayed tulpamancy.

this doesn't mean we'll never get around to it! we'd love to help shed light on the racism of tulpamancy in popular media, and we hopefully will one day soon! but that doesn't negate the fact that advocates for tulpamancy language online are being incredibly racist...

2) again, we think that asian buddhists have the right to be upset about this, whether or not they're specifically tibetan. what's more, multiple people with testimonies in the document are actually, specifically tibetan! we'll be interested to see eeveecraft's sources of tibetan buddhists who are pro-tulpa language... maybe they'll be referenced later in the post? (edit side note: they referenced one person they know personally, one tumblr user, and one twitter user, whose thread we could not access for some reason. we added the testimony of the tumblr user to our document, though!)

3) we have explained it. language appropriation is real. it has genuinely harmful effects. our words don't exist in a vacuum. cultural appropriation is not some nebulous thing that never causes real harm to those who experience it!! i mean seriously... is that really what this author believes? we'll include some links to cultural appropriation and specifically how it affects buddhists and/or people of tibet:

x x x

we've said this before, but we will choose to believe the marginalized groups who say that this language directly affects and harms them, rather than those who claim otherwise without the ability to back up those claims with articles, resources, or testimonies from those minorities.

how are these not examples of real harm?

the testimony from the tumblr user referenced in eeveecraft’s post did speak favorably of tulpamancy as a practice, but didn’t say much if anything about tulpamancy terminology, which is what we have been trying to learn more about and discuss.

The intention of these people never was to protect vulnerable minorities, it was to deliberately blacklist a word a community has used for over a decade and a word that is literally being used in academic studies. If we as a community dropped tulpa, cold-turkey, 100%, we would lose access to so much of our history and access to scientific studies that the community NEEDS to be more accepted by the general public.

we vehemently disagree! our intentions are to uplift the voices of vulnerable minorities who have genuine, understandable concerns about tulpamancy language. we don't believe that if this language was changed that community members would lose access to their history and scientific studies.

language changes all the time. researchers have to adjust their language accordingly all the time. there are tons of words that used to be used in research, but aren't any longer because it was discovered that those words were bigoted or culturally appropriated. this literally happens quite regularly in academic spaces, as far as we're aware (examples: multiple personality disorder -> dissociative identity disorder, transvestite -> transgender, etc!)

we have a separate post we're actually working on that refutes these claims made by eeveecraft. we'd call this sort of thinking fearmongering: the action of intentionally trying to make people afraid of something when this is not necessary or reasonable, within system spaces. eeveecraft's post is actually rife with fearmongering, and there is a huge issue with fearmongering in pro tulpa discussion.

after this, eeveecraft links to a tibetan buddhist who was open on reddit about the practice of western tulpamancy and how it relates (or doesn’t relate!) to the buddhist practice. from what we can tell, the author of the post believes that western tulpamancy and buddhist tulpamancy are similar in the name alone, and that’s it.

our issue with this is… if they share a name but are not the same practice at all… why wouldn’t the tulpa community want to change their language? if the language was shifted, there wouldn’t be all this confusion and arguing about a western practice with an appropriated tibetan name.

it’s true though that this is a post concerning tulpa language made by a tibetan buddhist, so we’ll be adding their testimony to our doc. it was never our goal or intention to cherry-pick testimonies - we genuinely weren’t aware of dharmayokeyodasampa’s post!

eeveecraft’s next large section discusses the differences between modern and paranormal tulpamancy, how one is harmful while the other isn’t, and how the two terms should not be conflated.

but they fail to mention how common and likely it is for people to conflate two different terms that have the exact same name. how is the average person supposed to know that when the community talks about tulpamancy they’re referring to modern tulpamancy and not paranormal tulpamancy?

it’s especially bizarre that they claim alexandra david-neel’s tulpamancy definition is the one that is harmful. don’t get us wrong, we completely agree! but that line of thinking doesn’t align with that of other pro tulpas discussing tulpamancy. many tulpamancers are huge supporters of adn and still today claim that she was not racist and did not commit cultural appropriation through her “fact or fiction” tales in magic and mystery in tibet.

like, this is incredibly common. for as long as we’ve been in system spaces and have been trying to learn about tulpamancy (which has been more than a year at this point) we have never seen a single person try to separate sensationalized media portrayals of tulpamancy (aka “paranormal tulpamancy”) from the western practice (aka “modern tulpamancy”) that eeveecraft talks about. if other tulpamancers were also trying to make this distinction… wouldn’t it be more regularly included in discussion? we think it’s a huge and important distinction, if it really exists as one. but we’ve never seen anyone talking about it.

this also leads us to wonder… if people within the tulpa community themselves are having to make distinctions between two different types of tulpamancy - one of which is perfectly fine and normal while the other is racist cultural appropriation… wouldn’t practitioners of modern tulpamancy want to change their terminology as a way to distance themselves from the real racists?

they later write:

Also, important that another blog reblogged that post [our post with the doc, we believe] and mentioned that they’ve spoken to actual Tibetans on Facebook and how none of them think tulpa is harmful specifically because it’s so far-removed from Tibetan Buddhism. Like, they’re cool with it as long as the community doesn’t try and link it to Tibetan Buddhism, which is literally what the community does and has been doing for YEARS.

the most glaring issue we have with this is… if the term was coined by a white explorer appropriating tibetan culture in the 20th century (which it was…), and if other tulpamancers will readily admit that tulpamancy language has close ties to tibetan buddhism (which they do… and it does…) why the huge push from pro-tulpas to distance themselves from their own language and their own language’s history?

this post both claims and denies that tulpamancy language is connected to buddhism. other tulpamancers will readily admit that tulpamancy as a term was created by alexandra david-neel, an explorer which bastardized the terms “sprul pa” and “tulku” in order to write a best-selling book and make money.

it’s weird that those who are pro tulpa language recognize these facts while simultaneously trying to brush them off and sweep them under the rug.

the community is trying to link tulpamancy to tibetan buddhism by maintaining their culturally appropriative language. tulpamancy language directly ties this western practice to vajrayana buddhism and the asians who practice it. we don’t understand the willingness to acknowledge and deny this fact at the same time? maybe we’re misunderstanding this part of the post, but it seems incredibly bizarre to us.

the next section explains that asian poc should have no say over what is and isn’t cultural appropriation of tibetan buddhism. and at first, this does seem like an important point to make! the author explained how chinese individuals should have no say over what is or isn’t japanese cultural appropriation as an example.

but this point still sits weirdly with us. what about diaspora tibetans - those who are culturally tibetan but live outside of their homeland? what about those who are buddhist and who have concerns over their religion and how aspects of it are being taken, bastardized, and promoted without permission or adequate education? as white people, why do we get to decide who has more of a stake in these discussions than the buddhist people of color expressing their worries and concerns? do white non-buddhist voices matter more than asian buddhists regarding this topic?

we really don’t think so.

All it [tulpamancy terminology discourse] does is segregate the community and draw unnecessary lines, which is exactly what sysmeds want because it’s ways easier to harass and kill smaller communities that way or turn them against each other until they eat each other alive. And they won’t just stop with tulpa terminology, they’re just using tulpa because they found a convenient scapegoat to attack it. Sysmeds literally find ANY excuse to demonize or take away a word from the endogenic community, it’s no different here.

To further prove this point, sysmeds literally tried to say “system hopping” is a term appropriated from RAMCOA survivors, which was completely false. They are not afraid to pull the appropriation card on any word they can, tulpa isn’t the only instance of it.

again, many of the people who are bringing up these concerns aren’t even sysmeds. many of them actively support the practice of tulpamancy and endogenic plurality in general. this 100% has to do with racism in the community and unlearning racial biases. the goals of this discussion are not to destroy the tulpa community.

we genuinely don’t see what system hopping has to do with this. because again, the people making these points against tulpamancy terminology are mostly not sysmeds at all.

and if eeveecraft themself can admit that there are two different kinds of tulpamancy - one good (modern), one bad (paranormal), why in the world wouldn’t those who practice the “good” tulpamancy want to change their language in order to be respectful to people of color while further removing themselves from the “paranormal tulpamancers?”

they then say that many people who are against tulpamancy terminology don’t even know what it is. and that may be true for some systems, but certainly not all! we are against tulpamancy terminology and we understand completely what the practice is. our wife has created a thoughtform (which she achieved using tulpamancy guides and engaging with the tulpa community). she has been an active member of this community for quite some time, and changed her labels recently after learning about the dubious roots of the terminology.

just because willogenic (one of the proposed terms to replace tulpamancy) as a label does not cover the whole scope of tulpa experiences, doesn’t mean there are no other terms that have been suggested.

parogenic exists. paro/paromancy exists. thoughtform exists. and if none of these words truly would work as a suitable replacement, we fully believe in the community’s capability to come together and select a new, less racist term. we have complete faith that the tulpa community can achieve this.

it’s also worth noting that many of the proposed replacement terms were created by and for the plural community. we fully believe that if there is no term which perfectly fits the definition, we can change the definition of the term!! so paro could mean any headmate created in the way tulpas are created. the community made these terms, and the community can change them if they need to!!

it’s a shame to see eeveecraft does not share that same faith in their community.

next, they talk about how discussing tulpamancy terminology actually causes harm:

Let’s start with me. On multiple occasions, I have had multiple anons harass my inbox, calling me racist, calling me slurs, and even sexually harassing me in the comments of one of my posts specifically because of this issue. In fact, several sysmeds tried raiding our Discord server alongside harassing us on Tumblr because of what Amanitasys’s post started, and this has also happened to @cambriancrew, @sophieinwonderland, and more because we happen to be blogs that intersect both communities.

we have never, nor will we ever, support doxxing, targeted harassment, suicide baiting, or any other horrible thing that can come out of people being vicious and self-centered online. of course, we can see why folks may call eeveecraft racist, because they are promoting incredibly racist ideas.

the user cambriancrew has been a loud, ableist voice in discourse spaces for years.

the user sophieinwonderland is a proud racist, and is a promoter of zoophilia and other outrageously harmful ideas like transx. we’ve written on this before.

it makes sense that people want to call out and address these issues when they see them. while we do not condone harassment, it’s not fair to call those who are voicing understandable concerns “harassers.” it’s not fair to lump these people in with actual online bullies who cause serious, long-lasting harm.

further, they talk about how anti-tulpamancy terminology discussion harms the plural community by dividing it.

The relationship between the Tulpamancy and broader Plurality community was already tenuous, and for most of the Tulpamancy community’s history, it has stayed isolated from other Plurality circles. It was only within the past few years that the communities started to intermingle, but this drama can ruin that.

Because as someone who HAS been in the community for over half a decade, I can tell you that the majority of the Tulpamancy community thinks this drama is stupid and aren’t going to change terminology for multiple reasons. Now, do NOT take this as the community going, “Tulpa is a completely unproblematic word!” when the community has debated the term’s usage for YEARS. Nobody is saying the word is perfect, but it’s what the community has used for over a decade now and every attempt to change the word has failed. And honestly, as someone who’s reviewed the vast majority of Tulpamancy guides in existence, I likely know better than anyone else that if tulpa was blacklisted like some people want, the community would lose so much history and resources, it’s not even funny.

it's interesting to see the author here claiming that those within the tulpamancy community think this drama is stupid and aren't ever going to change the terminology. especially when multiple times in the post, eeveecraft admits that there are issues with the terminology that tulpamanvers will readily admit, and that those who are "paranormal tulpamancers" are somehow completely distinct from and unrelated to "modern tulpamancers."

we recently created a post on reddit's r/tulpas, hoping to share our document compiling asian buddhist voices on the matter. we wrote about our experience here - basically, our post was removed less than 5 minutes after being posted, despite complying with the subreddit's own rules and guidelines.

it leads us to wonder... how many other posts like ours have been taken down by the moderators without a second glance? how many other pro-tulpa, anti-tulpa terminology folks have tried to speak out on this issue among their peers, only to be immediately dogpiled, shut down, and have their posts removed? how can good-faith discussion happen in these spaces when the community leaders are so quick to remove content, and those seeking answers and discussion are dismissed as bad actors?

we think that those with concerns (either from within the tulpa community or from asian, buddhist spaces) absolutely have the right to air their grievances. and by ignoring, deflecting, and brushing off these voices, those who are pro-tulpa terminology are not doing anything to help, participate in, or even put an end to this discussion. instead, they are perpetually putting it off, and allowing a wound within the community to fester and get worse over time as resentment builds.

to us, this poses a more significant threat to the tulpamancy community and the plural community overall than any real attempt to discuss the issues of racism and cultural appropriation regarding tulpa language.

eeveecraft then claims that changing tulpamancy terminology will cause others to lose access to the wealth of resources created by tulpamancers over the years.

If we completely dropped the word, the ability of new people to look up and find these guides becomes FAR more difficult. “Tulpa” is a unique and consistent word and makes it easy to look into the community, which in turn helps people discover resources that can help them on their tulpa creation journey.

their responses to the anticipated "just change the resources" argument are as follows (paraphrased)

there are tons of guides, resources and research articles already published using tulpamancy language. and tulpas need these to remain the same in order for tulpamancy to spread in the public sphere

the majority of people who wrote resources are no longer in the community and may not consent to their resources being adjusted

they personally are critical of and found flaws with other tulpamancy replacement terms

there aren't as many resources being created now as there used to be

we've seen a lot of these claims before, and are actually working on a separate post that refutes many of them. but basically:

we believe sites like tulpanomicon, tulpa.io, and tulpa.info could include information as banners and on their front pages that express community concerns and explain that they are making the shift. sites can also be set up so they redirect to others. so, say, if the terminology changed to "paro/paromancy," the sites "tulpa.info" could redirect to "paro.info." the community could rally together to rewrite many resources that exist, while creating new ones. this wouldn't be an instantaneous shift, but it certainly could be achieved over time.

for those who aren't in the community or don't want their resources changed... they can be left alone. if the host sites (reddit, tulpanomicon, tulpa.io, tulpa.info, etc) included disclaimers on their websites about the language shifts, it wouldn't be that big of a deal for many guides and resources to be left untouched

if the community were to come together and choose, say, paromancy as a replacement for tulpamancy, the definition of this term could probably be adjusted to accommodate for tulpas who were created naturally or spontaneously. with such a huge language shift, it makes sense that some adjustments need to be made in order for everyone to be represented. additionally, we see no issue with "thoughtform" being both an umbrella term and meaning something specific based on the context. there are many, many umbrella terms which function this way!

honestly the shift of language might bring with it a resurgence of interest in the community. especially if people are vocal about the change and why the community has decided to commit to this shift! we genuinely think that this could bring so much good press to the community and help it regain popularity.

after this, they speak about how those pushing for a change in tulpa terminology remind them of sysmeds, and that they have to be doubly careful about which spaces they interact with because those which claim to be "inclusive" may be phasing out language that they believe is racist, ultimately excluding those who use tulpa language and cutting them off from the plural community.

we don't think this has to happen. we think this makes a lot of assumptions and assumes the worst about these communities, and fails to recognize or acknowledge the genuine concerns people have.

we run a positivity blog for systems, plurals, and multiples of all sorts. right now, we're nearing 2k followers. on that blog, we are very clear in our stance that we are pro tulpa, anti tulpa terminology. we will never turn away a tulpamancer from our blog simply for the words they choose to use to identify themselves. we will be vocal about lifting up marginalized voices, we will be honest about our concerns, and we personally will not be using or advocating for tulpamancy language on that blog. but we certainly have not and will not cut off tulpamancers from that space.

we don't see why this can't be the case in more places. it is not our goal to divide the plural community from the tulpa community. rather, we think this shift could bring us together as we join to make a long overdue shift away from culturally appropriative language. we fully believe this could make the community stronger as a result.

So, in the Tulpamancy community’s perspective, we either: A.) Give up our most used word and people lose access to so much history and resources, and create a huge divide in our already fragmented community. Or: B.) Stick to our guns, but be excommunicated and villainized by the broader Plurality community.

we aren't a fan of the false dichotomy here. we think there is a secret third option, which is:

c. band together with the plural community to address this issue, choose a new term, commit to change, and adjust the resources we can while uplifting the voices of those who have been so often silenced along the way. this change could bring the community together and also shed positive light on the community in public spaces, bringing us together and strengthening both communities as a result.

personally, we like this option a lot more!

in their next section, eeveecraft writes:

So, what are people trying to attack so hard and blacklist from plural spaces? What are people fighting so hard against to conform to their standards, or be labeled as racist? What Tulpamancy is, for a lot of people, is a means to living a better life. I cannot tell you how many stories I have read of tulpas stopping their hosts from taking their own lives, how creating a tulpa has hugely improved the mental health of others, or how tulpas encourage their hosts to socialize and take care of the body, or how just making a tulpa connects you to a community with the mutual interest in self-improvement and self-love, and so, so much more. Tulpamancy improves people’s lives, and Tulpamancy techniques are not exclusive to us.

we absolutely agree that the practice of tulpamancy can be immensely beneficial, beautiful, and positively life-changing. we ourselves have seen our wife's mental health and outlook on life drastically change for the better through fostering connection and building a relationship with her thoughtform, nevetien. nev has improved our wife's quality of life so much, and the community they've found online and with each other truly is something special.

we love this for her. we want them to be able to grow and flourish in the future together, and we feel so lucky to be able to help them nurture each other and witness their strength and joy as they grow closer together as a team.

this does not negate the valid concerns over tulpamancy language by buddhist poc. it is possible to support the practice of tulpamancy while rejecting the racist roots of the language. and shifting away from tulpa language does not mean abandoning those with thoughtforms, willomates, paros, or whatever term is chosen in the future.

finally, the conclusion:

“Tulpa” as a term, at best, is murky. Nobody is arguing that David-Neel was a saint. She wasn’t, and she’s dead and buried. Tulpa isn’t her word anymore. People in the Tulpamancy community are just fed up with outsiders trying to dictate how their community should be run. We know the term has issues, we know its history is not all sunshine and rainbows. We do not need outsiders barging in and stating the obvious and acting like they know more than we do about our own community and history. And look, I know some people who believe tulpa is appropriative have good intentions and just want to be non-offensive, but people take advantage of that. Sysmeds took advantage of people wanting to do right and weaponized people into being their mouthpieces under the guise of, “We just want to be racially-sensitive.” But instead of actually protecting minorities, all it did was harm another minority while ignoring groups who are taking advantage of the word, and using it for clout and profit. That is exactly why I started this LONG essay with why this whole thing is a bad-faith argument.

it is weird to us that eeveecraft is willing to acknowledge issues with alexandra david-neel, while deflecting issues that arise from the terminology coined by her. she may be dead, but the cultural appropriation she committed is still alive and well today, and will be for as long as tulpamancy terminology remains in use.

we understand the frustrations with not wanting the community's path to be dictated by outsiders. however, this language does affect many outsiders (i.e. asian buddhists and practitioners of vajrayana buddhism). it also does seem like there may be many people within the tulpa community who are uncomfortable with this language and want to shift away, but their voices are buried or silenced by others within the community.

you can't say "some people who believe tulpa is appropriative have good intentions," then follow that with "sysmeds will take advantage of that and weaponize others while claiming to be racially-sensitive." that attempts to negate and cast aside the real concerns of those who have issues with this language and want their voices to be acknowledged and included in the conversation. in this way, eeveecraft, you weaponize the voices of anyone worried about the racism of this terminology, by lumping them in with sysmeds so that you can ignore their valid concerns.

we are not attempting to ignore groups who are taking tulpamancy terminology and using it for clout and profit. we genuinely will take some time to learn about tulpamancy in popular media (specifically aforementioned supernatural, the mandela catalogue, and slenderman) in order to speak up against the use of culturally appropriative language. we just felt the need to address the problems in our own home (tumblr, and the plural community here) before stepping outside our front door. we can't be expected to properly or accurately discuss issues that we were never made aware of, because we just hadn't been exposed to it before.

we did not make that document in bad faith. we have never argued against tulpamancy in bad faith. we are not a sysmed, and in fact are vehemently pro-tulpa and accepting of systems of all origins. however, as we learn more about racism and struggle to call it out and come to terms with its existence within our own communities, we can no longer continue to support tulpamancy language in good faith.

we know this was incredibly, incredibly long. if you've stuck with us this far, thank you so much for reading. we are not an expert on tulpamancy, though we have been involved in the community for a while. we're no expert on race, cultural appropriation, buddhism, or anything that we've talked about today, really. we're just a system who truly cherishes the plural community, trying to confront our own internalized biases and sharing how we feel about this response to our document.

thank you for your time. take care.

#syscourse #tulpamancy #tulpacourse #pro tulpa #anti tulpa terminology #racism

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