#BUT I MEAN. IM VERY SELF CRITICAL SO MAYBE ITS JUST ME | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

thewertsearch · 8 months

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GG: you said you are asking me permission first and i appreciate that GG: but if you are asking im afraid my answer is no! AT: oKAY, i RESPECT THAT, AT: bUT, i WONDER, GG: what? AT: i WONDER IF A TRULY SELF CONFIDENT GUY, wITH THE BEST SELF ESTEEM THERE IS, wOULD EVEN NEED TO ASK, AT: mAYBE THE BEST GUY WOULD JUST KNOW HE WOULD BE SUCCESSFUL, aND WOULD DO IT ANYWAY BECAUSE IT IS FOR YOUR OWN GOOD, aND EVERYONE ELSE'S,

I don't think Tavros is just emulating Vriska here. This is a very Alternian mindset, and it's one we've seen before.

Alternia is, after all, an empire. It's a society whose idea of success is inexorably tied to violence and domination - so if you're trying to be a better troll, you'll probably gravitate to both, even if you don't realize it.

It's not really about your personality, either. Karkat is, by all accounts, one of the more moral trolls in the party - but as we've seen above, even he's got those imperial instincts. This sort of thing is insidious, and once it worms its way into your brain, it can be hard to shake.

Tavros is a very straightforward example. He's finally gained some 'confidence' - and what's his first impulse?

To seize a useful resource from an alien, and use it against her will.

GG: that would be smug and arrogant and would make you a bully!!! [...] AT: yOU'RE RIGHT ABOUT ALL THAT, i'LL RESPECT YOUR WISHES, AT: oR, AT: wILL i? };) GG: nooooooooo dont dont dont dont dont GG: im serious GG: uuuuggghh i think my headache is coming back AT: i WAS jUST, AT: mAKING A JOKE, AT: sORRY, }:(

This dude cannot read a room. Truly, the anti-Terezi.

Oh, leave off.

AG: Next time you decide to open your heart to an alien girl…….. AG: Make sure her chat client isn't 8eing holographically projected for all to see, ok?

This exploit should apply to chat clients of any size, provided the screen is visible. Maybe John's Pesterchum Glasses were a better investment than I thought.

AG: Jade let you down too easy. She's too nice! Someone's got to tear into you for that appalling display, and once again, guess who's shoulders that falls on? AG: That's right. Vriska's, as usual.

Tavros probably does need someone to explain what he did wrong, but it should be anyone but Vriska. This is obviously just going to be more bullying, and no actual advice.

AT: i THINK SHE HAS THE RIGHT AMOUNT OF NICENESS, pERSONALLY, AT: aN AMOUNT THAT IS SOME, iNSTEAD OF, AT: nONE,

Showing backbone against Vriska, eh? Finally, a constructive use for all that confidence.

Progress is progress, even when it's just a minor clapback.

AG: Hey, I'm nice when it matters, [...]

Nope, I'm calling Vriska's bluff. What nice things has she done so far, exactly?

Sure, she made Tavros the rocket chair, but only after mercilessly tormenting him for his physical condition, which she caused.

Plus, this wasn't even a real apology gift. She kept bullying him after that, and is literally doing so as we speak.

I guess she also made Aradia's soulbot, as an 'apology' for murdering her with her own boyfriend. To be precise, she had Equius make it, with horrific results that she should probably have seen coming.

She also thought that it would be 'nice' to tell Terezi that her blindness 'wasn't that bad'. This conversation was kind of complicated, though, and I'm not sure what her actual intention was.

Anyway, it's pretty clear that Vriska doesn't really grok what 'nice' means. She gives Tavros a rocket chair, continues to torment him, and doesn't understand the contradiction, because she doesn't think his feelings actually matter.

[...] and where it doesn't strangul8te the critical development of people I give a shit a8out, ok?

"After all, no one was ever nice to ME, and look how gr8 I turned out! When you think about it, it's actually a GOOD thing that no one ever showed me kindness! It made me strong! Don't you want to 8e stroooooooong, Pupa? ::::D"

I'm reminded of this exchange from Hivebent. Kanaya recommends that Vriska practice some basic self-care, and Vriska completely flies off the handle, furious at the mere suggestion that she should be kind to herself.

Vriska thinks kindness will harm her. She refuses to accept it, and avoids showing it to anyone, which makes her remarkably consistent in her cruelty. I'm willing to bet that there's nothing she's said to Tavros that she hasn't already said to herself.

#homestuck liveblog #full liveblog #act 5.2 #3057 #s95

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dejyn · 1 month

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i hope you dont mind if i get emotional for a minute…

i just. really appreciate how you portray daddy jack.

i feel like a lot of people think hes flat-out horrible with relationships and treats his partner no differently from the baker’s dozen…

seeing you acknowledge his canon sociopathic traits and villainous ways while also being actually decent if someone catches his interest is really nice…

i mean. yes. i admit part of our relationship is me seeking out as much magic for him as i could. but i like to imagine he appreciates that im going about it on my own and that i stopped expecting payment in return very early on cuz of… how much i love him.

maybe its just me loving the concept of irredeemable monsters having a soft spot, combined with the fact i hate seeing stuff with my comfort characters treating self-inserts/ocs poorly… but yeah…

tl;dr i love your portrayal ｡ﾟ(ﾟ´ω`ﾟ)ﾟ｡

Heheheh don’t worry I’m myself getting emotional bc of the dude all the time :’D mew

Well, I must say that I’m always trying(trrryyyyiiin) to stick to canon, but that doesn’t stop me from creating my many hcs based on my vision. And one of them is that Jack really has a soft spot, in fact I just feel so much softness in him no less than cruelty, that makes me think he’d give you such an interesting and various experience in relationships he-heh… It surely wouldn’t be the healthiest ones, but let’s leave them to reality lol I’m here to have fun with a fictional troublemaker <3

Tbh I think he can be caring and loving companion, he can be all nice and sweet to you but it’s better to keep in mind that he’s doing it mostly for his own profit/pleasure. I just cannot deny the main point of his character: he is a greedy egoist. A taker. You just have to accept it if you love him. That doesn’t exclude genuine care, though: I can easily imagine him emotionally attached to someone. But his sick obsession with magic stemming from his giant neurotic ego will prevail in the end. Sad but true. But hey, I think this is the point where we can learn how to value signs of affection from him more :> And enjoy by letting him just being himself bc we love him <3 as for the poor treatment I think you’re free to imagine what you prefer and follow your own vision, I don’t think it's such a necessary thing to experience pain of any kind from him. He’s not some maniac even with his sociopathy… He’s a troubled guy who needs help the most. I’m sure if not to irritate him or criticize or argue, he’d be ok, just love him, express your love as much as you can cuz love is about giving and enjoy^^(he’s such fluff material to me I swear lmao) I’m really really glad if my stuffs help you!♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ Thank you (´｡• ᵕ •｡`) ♡ (sorry if my english sucks)

(while I was thinking how to put my thoughts in short [MISSSION FAILED] I remembered this silly pic I drew some time ago, it shows my mixed and conflicting feelings abt this walking disaster, mb that's why he's so catchy to me i dunno...)

#i can blabber about Jack for hours please be careful with me haha #💜

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moonlit-positivity · 7 months

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Fawn response in trauma is so incredibly hard to talk about and to also identify because its actually quite insidious how this forms as a survival technique in childhood, because that means that they (ur abusers) are so invasive and controlling to your very being that your brain says, the only way we can survive this is to mimic the danger itself, so that we can trick the ones harming us that we are on their side so that MAYBE they'll let up on us for a minute or two...

Fawn response in childhood abuse is absolutely insidious because it can show up in ways like...

- "you're right, it's my fault" in a situation that is clearly not your fault, but you know arguing just escalates the situation even worse

- self sabotage or punishing yourself in order to "save face" or hope that they'll go easy on you

- hitting or abusing urself whenever you suspect they're gonna be mad at you

- if/when they are mad at you, you feel like you need to outwardly show you are suffering and not happy with yourself because they are mad and upset at you

- involuntarily kissing ass or constantly taking the blame even for things you didn't do

- taking on more housework or emotional duties to show you love them and that you arent trying to be "difficult"

- subconsciously picking up and adapting certain kinds of traits from your abuser in hopes that it will bring you closer together, like picking their favorite sports team or becoming invested in their favorite hobbies

Fawning can also look like...

- martyrism/"taking one for the team" or constantly defending the abuser when they are faced with outside criticism (i.e. as a kid I used to get mad at my friends for calling my mother crazy, "thats my mother you can't say that!")

- saving/healing fantasies in which you wish to heal the abuser so you can fix them and finally gain their approval

- being so enmeshed with your abuser that you often feel like you are them, i.e. "i feel so empty, i feel like im just wearing my mother's face and skin..."

- Stockholm & emotional incest, even feeling like you're dating ur abusers or that you're not allowed to give anyone else your attention except them 24/7

- any situation where you feel unsafe unless you are giving constant validation to someone who you actually do not like and do not want to be around, but they are so volatile that this is the only way you can survive this moment. That's fawning.

Fawn response is one that personally makes me sick to my stomach when I think of all the times it's shown up in my life, because of how incredibly sickening the situations have to be for someone to hide their pain and disgust and act in a total opposite way that strips us of our autonomy but also induces humiliation and shame by keeping us "leashed and bound" to our abusers... we mistake our fawn responses for love when in reality our true authentic souls are screaming out in protest...

Healing fawn response comes in restoring your intuition and your sense of self- no, you're not crazy for being paranoid or triggered about that thing they said that reminded you of what you went through, that's your body picking up those same signals that you've already been through!- reclaiming your emotional boundaries, asking yourself how do you define true genuine love and connection with those you love and want to have in your life? Working through the abdomen chakra point, the root of our trust, regaining trust in ourselves to communicate when we feel threatened and to trust our intuition to be vulnerable enough to listen again, to trust our bodies signals... and to trust those around us to hold space for us in ways that make us feel truly safe and supported and knowing if we cannot find that in them that we have the ability to move on and look for people and places that DO hold that space for us... healing the fawn response is all about reclaiming your VOICE and the right to leave or question any situations that immediately make you ick.

#emotional health #fawn #fawn response #ptsd #cptsd #trauma #trauma recovery #trauma healing #healing #mental health #boundaries #relationships #toxic relationships #emotional abuse #fight or flight #survival mode

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transfemlogan · 3 months

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For the fandom ask game; 2, 10, 16

Positive Fandom Ask Game

a headcanon you weren't sure about at first but have come to like!

that janus is loveless. i will say my hesitance didn't last very long and wasn't really hesitance, it was more "oh loveless janus is a hc? i can see how people can dislike it, but i love it." (so this option doesn't really count but i quite literally cant think of anything else)

there is a headcanon that janus is loveless/cannot feel love/doesn't love because he is a snake and snakes don't feel love. and as a loveless aromantic I absolutely love this headcanon.

i know people don't like this headcanon because people tend to view love as an inherently positive force and if you don't love or refuse to love that it's negative and offensive. & because people will try to use the lack of love to demonise janus, an already very demonise side. which... the demonising janus one is a valid reason to dislike it, the other reasons aren't.

i only ever consider patton to be loveless and i never see loveless hcs in fandom so knowing there's already a hc for janus being loveless makes me so so so so happy. i think there's something so sweet about janus not feeling love or choosing not to love or being critical about how society views love, but still being compassionate & caring towards the other sides & c!thomas*. that whether or not he loves them that doesn't control how he treats them. that his care isn't controlled by one singular feeling, but a multitude of feelings or opinions; he cares for the sides & thomas, because he knows they need it. & that idea means the world to me.

*obviously, loveless people can care & be compassionate. im loveless & im so compassionate to the people around me. but i mean more that, choosing janus 2 be loveless when he is literally self preservation & cares so much about the other sides & their health is soooo smart & beautiful. i know it probably originated to demonise him (or write aus where he "thinks he loveless but finds out he CAN feel love" eugh), but i like that you can switch it on its head & go "he doesn't feel love but that doesn't mattwe & wont ever matter. he feels so much compassion for the others" & choose not to demonise him.

i probably explained that all strange & worded it so bad i just woke up. BUT LIKE. YOU CAN CHOOSE TO DEMONISE HIM FOR BEING LOVELESS, BUT YOU CAN ALSO RECOGNISE THAT IF HE IS LOVELESS THAT LOVE DOESNT PUSH HIS CARING ACTIONS. HE JUST CARES.

also janus 100% would be loveless in the sense that he's criticising how society views love as the most "important thing" or as an inherently positive thing , as if people don't do horrible things bcuz of their love.

a blog (mutual or one you follow) that has made your fandom experience brighter

UM. HOW DO I LIST A GAJILLION BLOGS.

i was gonna go thru & explain why they r on my list but thats 2 much effort so im just gonna rapid fire:

@sankiisides , @warnadudenexttime , @intrulogical , @edupunkn00b , @lovecorepatton & everyone i know on instagram. i was gonna list blogs that im not mutuals with but i am so tired & couldnt remember anyones blogs . ill just come back (<- is lying & wont come back)

the one blog i am not mutuals w/ that i can list rn is @we-all-horny-here :3

a tiny detail in canon that you want more people to appreciate

PERHAPS A REALLY SMALL DETAIL, but the way remus pauses & actually thinks about what is being said to him when logan is talking to him at the end of working through intrusive thoughts

maybe im crazy & insane & making things up bcuz i want them to be friends so bad BUT thruout the entire ending scene w/ logan & remus, remus is shown turning his back and reading a book and taking a cockroach out of his ear and eating it. very actively ignoring him.

BUT . IN THIS SCENE:

logan tells remus how he can see how remus can be helpful (albeit. thru gritted teeth.) & then asks him, "but perhaps, you can also see the merit in what I'm trying to do?"

& remus pauses.

he hesitates.

you can see him sit there and actually think about what logan is saying. & ofc he immediately goes back to ignoring him but it makes me crazed that logan tells remus that he can see why remus is doing what he is doing & that it can be helpful & then asks remus, straight forwardly, to try & see what logan is trying to do & remus stops in his little schemes and thinks about that. he has a little moment of hesitation.

though it could also be remus going "hmmm should i eat the tongue lollipop first or should i do the cockroach?" /j

im ill . im ill. im ill. im ill.

Positive Fandom Ask Game

#ask #intrulogical #janus

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vivithefolle · 1 year

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Hey its me who left a comments on your Quora, and bc im a negative hater of Hermione that will make her worshippers cry, i wanna just copy and repeat my unpopular opinions here to yours in order to spread my negativity :p

I think its kinda funny how Rowling self inserted into Hermione but forgot herself is a adult woman, and Hermione is a teenager sometimes, but like only sometimes.

A lot of Hermiones rule bendings and actions just sounds like what an 20s or 30s something would want to do, and would have full conviction as well as planning ability to carry it out. Sorta like the way you cant file a lawsuit and WIN if you are 10 but can if you are 21. Rowling wishes she could do what Hermione can do but forgot she was writing a teenager, then went "oh its ok. She settled it all in the end off pages."

Rowling will be like "Hermione is me and so mature and i wanted to do that to people i hate all my life" when it comes to time traveling - to take more classes than her peers because its fair where? - and "punishing" a bad journalist who spread stupid rumors and "punishing" the students and teachers she hated, or erasing her parents out of her records. Because only adults could break big rules like that and maybe deal with consequences. But then in the same books same chapters she will be like "Hermione is forever 13 year old and hates defying rules" when it come to the characters emotional development. And worse, after that couldnt write all the messy logical backlashes and consequences that this teenagers actions left.

Coupling with Emma Watsons casting and all the Mary Sue script changes influencing later books, the result is the worse, most self entitled, inconsistent, sloppily written female character ever created among all the real, logical teenage characters. Some like Harry is Mary Sue-ish, but hes at least consistent and logical to a teenager. Hermione is a Sue and couldnt even be a decent one that makes a lick of sense.

we like to dunk on Movie Hermione, and her looks and the Ron bashing can make us dislike her because thats not book Hermione, but in terms of being a Mary Sue , movie Hermione is actually a much better written character than book Hermione. One is at least consistent and is a character despite "perfect". Movie Hermiones lines and moments are still things a , very perfect, schoolgirl can know and do. Book Hermione cant decide if shes a teenager character with emotional flaws or a 30 something 4th wall goddess with super meta powers that can solve every characters romance problems. Like you cant choose both of these, Rowling.

its so frustrating bc this is actually why its so hard to convince Hermione lovers and criticizers on points from either side on her personality and her relationships with others. Because a very blazen competent girl that could "punish" teachers and students and new reporters alike on the basis of very adult, very real LAW and ORDER can not act like an jealous, immature 15 year old that also cries all the time with no handle on her emotions, is "book smart" and stick for rules, and vice versa. Which is she?

i now dont really care for Hermione and Ron. She ruined the couple for me. its not that she could be an asshole to him, but because shes not a character. Shes a vessel.

_____

Vivi's commentary: Well darn that is a brutal assessment! I do believe that what the things that make Hermione feel so disconnected is the lack of consequences. I mean, the way she "punishes" Rita and Marietta is totally the way a teenager fantasizes about punishing the people who hurt them, but the fact that Hermione manages to do it without ever having it bite her in the ass is the part that's really making her a Mary Sue for me.

#submission #text post #anti-hermione #anti hermione granger #hp meta #hp critical #jkr critical #jk rowling critical #bad writing

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farcille · 1 month

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9 people you'd like to get to know better

tagged by @healen -- omg i am SO sorry i did not see this; I just found your tag from going through my email notifs haha. thank you though this was super fun!!

Three ships:

farcille: like ok iconic as fuck and my username so obviously i have to talk about this one first. dungeon meshi is my favorite manga ever and marcille is my favorite character and i love her relationship with falin so much ;-; i think the plot point of marcille being afraid of losing people she loves due to the difference in how she ages compared to other people is super interesting and adds a really thought-provoking and tragic aspect to their relationship. i also love the difference in their personalities that shapes their dynamic; marcille is extremely neurotic and inside of her own head and "by-the-book" and falin is very in touch with her surroundings and intuitive and accepting of disorder but they're close anyway because the things that make them different are things that they admire about each other. i looove that marcille gets jealous of other people showing falin attention and that shes insane about saving her and that she would do anything to get her back. they get married in my head after the end of the manga

jaime/brienne: i've been so into rereading asoiaf lately and this has been on my mind nonstop. the dynamic of like this super big/strong very gender nonconforming ugly woman whos internally very kind and empathetic and has one of the strongest moral compasses of anyone in the series but struggles internally with her self image and her perceived inability to "fit in" anywhere due to misogyny and general cruelty and societal prejudice over her looks and like the antihero privileged evil prettyboy who seems to have everything granted by society that brienne doesn't at the beginning of the series but goes through a dramatic character shift after losing his ability to physically fight and is not actually quite as evil as you're initially led to believe but has become disillusioned and morally dark due to contempt and judgement and expectations from people in his life is kinda unmatched like no one was doing narratives about social expectations like them. the way that both of their character arcs rely on what they learn from each other about honor and judgement and what it means to be a "true knight" is also my fave. in my head where theres a universe where asoiaf is finished they finally confess their feelings 4 each other

doctor/master: haha ok time to be cringe and post doctor who on main again. but like hear me out this ship was so iconic LIKE they are the last 2 living members of their species they're childhood friends they know each other better than anyone in the universe they've known each other for 900 years but they are doomed to be mortal enemies forever because of a fundamental difference in their respective ideologies and who they are as people. like they love each other they hate each other they have to kill each other they have to save each other its so . mwah (im doing the cheff kiss gesture rn) my only criticism of it is that there's never been a f/f iteration of it that could definitely exist it's just that the dw writers hate women so it hasn't happened in the like 60 years of this show running but it exists in my mind

First ever ship: rosemary from homestuck 😭 i think they were the first pairing that i ever looked up fanfiction for when i was but a child. i still love them btw and they're still my favorite homestuck characters their dry humor and the way they bounce off of each other in their pesterlogs is still something i adore

Last song: ignorance by paramore!!!

Currently reading: ........................asoiaf...

Currently watching: game of thrones with my buddy april. we are suffering together

Currently consuming: a latte from the nearby coffee shop i like to go to on the weekends!!

Currently craving: hmm maybe sushi, I haven't had it in a long while

not tagging anyone but thanks for reading if u got this far <3333

#yeah i took this as an excuse to write paragraphs about ships i like what about it #something something text post tag

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birdo-is-here · 19 days

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ayee this one has a bit of lore behind it but not in the way you’d think!

This is Mary (she/her), she is based off the Mary Sue,,, trend?? stereotype?? idfk whatever Mary Sues were supposed to be Mary is kinda. supposed to be the personification of that

Now I babble quite a bit today so there’s a cut, but i’ve got some stuff to say about her

Now. First of all I want to say Mary is a muuuch older character of mine. I made her probably when I was 11 or 12, that’s at least 4 years ago

Here’s a fun fact about me, I had absolutely no critical thinking skills until maybe the age of 14 or mid-13s, and at the time I of course did not really realise the issues the entire Mary Sue thing had in general

Since those four years i’ve realised that I. really do not like the Mary Sue trope at aaallll. It is a very mean trope, simply making fun of young artists/writers for having fun with their characters, which obviously is not very good. As I stated, it feels very mean

Because of this, I’ve kind of wanted to scrap Mary’s entire base concept because like. well duh I don’t really want to make a character like that that just feels so. mean-spirited yk, i don’t wanna do that!! Art is art there are no rules to art you should be able to do whatever the hell you want with it as long as its not hurting others and that’s that!! Don’t bully people for experimenting with colours and styles and tropes!! That’s called being an Ass!

BUT DESPITE THIS. I could never fully scrap her!! Admittedly she had a counterpart for “Gary Stu” which. did get “scrapped”(in quotations because its a lore thing now wooo) But Mary?? I couldn’t get rid of her!! And very recently I think I realised why!!

For some context, Mary (and Gary) was originally from a story where there was a sort of. “spirit” for every known concept to exist, including the concept of Mary Sues and Gary Stues. That being said, Mary (and Gary,,) were basically the rulers of that universe because. need I say why. And they were also incredibly self-aware and could pretty much do whatever they wanted

Does this sound familiar at all?? To me, yep! Mary (and Gary,,,,,,,) was essentially the FIRST Off-Scripter I ever made!! before I ever even came up with the concept! Now, we all know that, chronologically, Naut’s the first Off-Scripter created but with my stories, we all know that chronological timelines aren’t the only timelines here

I think this is the sorta reason why Mary was never fully forgotten because like. that’s significant yk

So what have I chosen to do instead?? Well of course i’ve decided to lean into that Off-Scripter..ness about her A LOT more. I imagine that Author!Birdo probably had the same realisation that I had and tried to “scrap” her (and her universe, that story is probably gonna be scrapped im just not that interested in it anymore 🤷‍♀️ who knows i might get a burst of inspo tho) But! Mary is an Off-Scripter! And in typical Off-Scripter fashion simply decided. not to get scrapped (unlike her bf rip Gary 😔 haunting the narrative route for you)

And its gonna be a hell of a thing where like. Birdo is HELLA peeved about Mary’s existence because they hate it ygm. Just like me, Birdo doesn’t really want a character that feels so mean of a concept to exist in their universe, but alas?? Off-Scripter magic makes shit complicated again :(

Where we go from there?? I’m not too sure! I haven’t planned that far ahead I only came up with this stuff like. literally a couple days ago lol, but yeah there’s that

#birdo’s silly little guys #birdo babbles about the sillies #birdo bintros #birdo makes the sillies real #do i long post tag this one…#sure why not #birdo babbles for an extended period of time

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pinkanonwrites · 1 year

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this isnt me requesting a fic or drabble or anything, and i do NOT mean to sound critical/mean in any way of how youve written Vash, but i think you have an interesting oppurtunity to have Reader find out >> call out Vash on sleeping with his prosthetic on

admittingly, ive never watched any form of Trigun (i only know some things via Pop Culture Osmosis). i just like your romance writing; you are very good at polishing your craftsmanship, it's, again, very good. so ill read whatever (so long as i.. vaguely recognize the property at least). so i dont know if Vash cannonically sleeps with his prosthetic on-- but as a disabled person who has friends with missing limbs, even if the creator of Trigun hypothetically says it's fine that Vash sleeps with it: no, it's not. not in real life. it can cause injuries to the limb and the stump needs to de-stress. that's how real life prosthetics work (and, off-topic, is a detail i really like about Full-Metal Alchemist! they talk about this and show it! a lot! (maybe Trigun does too, idk, again, i havent seen it))

but yeah! idk if sleeping with prosthetics is something canonical to Trigun or if it is something you accidentally assumed (no hard feelings there either way, lots of disabled media accidentally protrays this. Hiccup in How To Train Your Dragon and Finn in Adventure Time are both widely beloved disabled representations and also their creators fuck up sometimes and have them sleep with their prosthetics on. it happens. you live and you learn). if youd like to learn more, there's a youtube channel called Oakwyrm where disabled representation is the main point of discussion (fun fact: they even have a video analyzing the disabled representation in a Barbie fairy movie, that's fun lmao). i would link you the specific videoes id recommend you watch, but tumblr doesnt like anons sending links, so i just recommend checking out their channel (again: they have videos on Hiccup of How To Train Your Dragon, Finn of Adventure Time, and Edward of Full-Metal Alchemist. so there are a variety of resources on their channel about how prosthetics are handled in media. all three of these videos are typically pretty short and fairly succinct. i recommend watching all three and any other video topic of Oakwyrm's that catches your fancy, but im not gonna push you to watch something you dont wanna watch lmao) just wanted to give you that as a good opening point for resource about disability

i do think you having written the Reader seeing Vash sleep with his prosthetic on gives you a unique opportunity tho! (again, this isnt a Request. i know those are closed. its more of an "i dont want you to feel bad and i also dont want you to panic and take down those fics or anything, here's a helpful reminder that theres Other Options and you can use this as a jumping off point for future fic ideas or you can ignore this idea and just Write Prosthetics Differently In The Future", i dunno, its your blog, your writing, im not in charge lmao) you now have a history of the Reader knowing he sleeps with it on and can now potentially write a fic about why him doing that would make sense from a character stand-point. like why isnt he taking care of himself? why is he risking ruining that prosthetic or hurting his stump? does he not typically feel safe enough to be that vulnerable or is it a self-image thing or, or, or...? like, there is oppurtunity there. and it does make sense in some of your fics why he wouldnt-- the sick-fic you wrote recently is one of my favorite of yours ever, and it makes complete sense that Vash wouldn't go the extra step of taking off his prosthetic if there was a chance he'd need to use that arm to help take care of the Reader or if it's over-use is part of the reason why maybe his body runs as warm as it does. its just some spaghetti to throw at the wall, y'know, see if it sticks, scrap it and cook something else up if it doesn't. i dont want you to think im entitled or anything, again, this isnt a request at all. just some proverbial spaghetti to throw, you can feel free to respond via scrapping my pitch and doing your own thing reactive to this correction on how living with prosthetics works. maybe Reader is a techie who Vash visits to fix his prosthetic. i dunno if that's a role already taken in the canon of the show/manga. but hey, whatever you wanna do now that you know one shouldnt sleep with their prosthetic on and have a starting point with research, im sure ill be all for ♡ do whatever you want, its your blog ♡♡♡

but yEAH, ive encountered enough Squirrelly Writers who panic at any sign of innacuracy or problematic aspects in their hard-work where i think me being on the back-foot and going "you do NOT have to delete everything you wrote that is inaccurate to real experiences with prosthetics" makes sense. so i do want to reiterate that: you do NOT have to do that (and, ngl to you, fam, i would feel really bad if you did; i really like your work with Vash, like i said, the sick-fic specifically is one of my favorite fics by anybody that ive read in a while, that shit will be sticking around my noggin). i just wanted to reiterate that. i dont think you are a bad person or that this is immoral or anything. i think its a common mistake and, ill admit, i know squat about that other cgi show you watch with another prosthetic-user, but i noticed this was recurring with Vash, so i thought id gently mention it since i know it is a common mistake people make without, y'know, realizing its a mistake. and if Trigun shows Vash cannonically sleeping with his prosthetic, shame on them, that really sucks, they should do better by him and their disabled audience. but you?? you're just one person writing romance for fun. youre not a corporation with editors who should know to research this stuff before publishing. (or, who knows, maybe Trigun does show Vash taking his prosthetic off before sleeping, i dunno, im a casual fan of YOUR work, i dont know anything about Trigun beyond what i vaguely absorbed via Pop Culture Osmosis due to having been in the anime and sci-fo community in the past. i have no idea if they do or dont do their research. they should. but i certainly dont know if they do or not)

so yeah. just wanted to put that out there so Now You Know and the ball is now in your court as towards what to do with that information now that you have it. im sure ill love whatever you do with it, again, big fan of what you make as is already ♡ lots of love to you and yours, have a good day!!

(scooping up your proverbial spaghetti into a pot for later use in fanfic inspiration)

Thank you so much for all of your kind words! As for Trigun, as much as I love it, it's not the most realistic when it comes to the actual drawbacks and difficulties of having a prosthetic limb. It could be because it's a futuristic sci-fi piece, or the writers just don't want to get into it, or they just didn't know much about actual prosthetic management, but Vash doesn't really make a point to remove his prosthetic intentionally all that often. They've shown him sleeping in it before, and as far as I can remember in the OG anime the only time he didn't have it was when he was switching to a new model of arm.

There could be canonical reasons for that! It could be because of his vague inhuman-ness, or because he's self punishing, or any number of reasons we could interpolate from the OG mediums that they don't succinctly spell out for us. But reasons aside, the realities of using/wearing a prosthetic limb would make very interesting fic writing details, and I'd definitely like to dig into it a bit more in the future.

This ask actually comes at the perfect time, because as I've been working on my Twitch Streamer Trigun AU I've been doing some research on the realities of being a competitive (or even casual) video game player while being physically disabled. I've been doing a lot of thinking and researching on how people with only one arm actually play video games and custom controllers and set-ups and stuff, so while I may or may not go into it in super serious detail in the future I'm definitely going to at least touch on it more than once!

And last but not least, thank you for being so kind and respectful about commenting! I'm more than willing to admit that if I'm broaching a subject I'm not the most versed in I may make a mistake or two, and I'm alright with that! A long time ago I wrote a Stardew Valley fic and mistranslated some sign language, and like you I had a very kind and friendly reader point out my goof-up in a way that didn't mock me or make me feel stupid. I don't mind being corrected at all, as long as people are being nice about it. I'm only human too, afterall.

Anyway, TLDR; Thanks for being so nice, I'd love to write more about Vash's prosthetic in the future <3

#pink chat #anon #long post #vash the stampede

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gayemeralds · 10 days

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it was not at all an accurate or good adaptation HOWEVER it was fun & i am not immune to hop but with sonic. i hope these films dont get in the way of potentially more accurate films, but theyre otherwise fine. the general audience can enjoy them as they are & maybe it would be a stepping stone for them to see some REAL sonic media, & fans of sonic can enjoy it as a very surface level, non canon, borderline new story + characters. sonic is difficult to put in a children’s movie maybe ? he cant go on an easily understood heros journey or anything because he’s already self actualised, maybe film sonic will eventually become more like game sonic. idk, its just mindless fun. i can see why someone could be defensive about it but you gotta see how someone could be careless about it & just enjoy it as it is, even if its a bit shit

"sonic is difficult to put in a children’s movie maybe" im not going to lie this sentence is so funny to me. does sonic ova mean nothing to you people. anyway truth be i do think they could put sonic in a character arc that doesnt require completely rewiring his character into something unrecognizable, but if im honest, sonic works best as a static character that impacts the characters around him into getting character arcs. i think the movies should have focused on sonic inspiring arcs in tails and knuckles and etc rather than having sonic himself go through an arc, especially since these arcs are so antithetical to game sonic ("i just want to be a kid <3").

also if its shit i don't want to enjoy it. lmao. i think it deserves criticism. i also just dont think its a fun movie because i quite literally hate the core messages of the first two films ("dont move away from your small town to explore the world and help people <3 stay in your hometown until you die basically lmao" and "im just a kid and i dont have to help anyone if i don't want to <3"). i really hate the first movie's message as a general message for kids, and i really hate the second movie's message as an arc for sonic lmao.

i just think it could have been way better. if this is going to be the publics grand reintroduction to sonic the hedgehog i want to be... good lol.

#master emerald brothel #sighs.

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xerospaced · 5 months

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So... maybe it's time to address the elephant in the room

My low self esteem.

My confidence was stripped away in every aspect and I have yet to regain it

Between my lack of productivity and nothing to show for myself

The requirements of others that I am so far from meeting

And my ma's consistent negative perception of me and energy toward me

I feel... completely worthless and devoid of value.

And ofc I tell myself otherwise and such.

And I do mantras and affirmations

And I look for the good in myself

But

I dunno

I cant see one shred of evidence to support the concept that I'm worth something

There is one exception. I'm useful.

I'm incredibly useful.

Call me and I'm there.

Make a request and I'll fulfil it.

Ask something of me. Even if I find it difficult. I'll see to it that it gets done.

For those I care about.

I am available. I am the person you turn to. I am the voice of reason. The source of sound advice. I am a positive energy. A calming presence. A bringer of peace. And the person who encourages you to honour yourself above all else.

I am very useful.

I am a tool.

Literally

But when it's just me. Not fulfilling some use just... existing

I'm taking up space.

A drain on resources.

A useless entity waiting to be put to use.

I don't see myself anymore.

I'm so familiar with depression and anxiety and self hate. And I've come so far from that.

I'd made it to joy and love and appreciation!

But so accustomed to the darkness that being in this space...

I didn't notice that it's actually... Not good.

I'd have the odd self criticising thought and then I would correct it and go about my day

And ive felt lacklustre. And I've had very little pride. And more and more I find myself wanting to avoid talking about me.

But im not depressed. And I don't hate myself and I AM correcting those thoughts. And my comments on myself do always end on a positive note.

A forced positive?

An empty one?

A shell of the thing I am telling myself. The thing I used to be but no longer am.

I do not feel good about myself.

And being that I'm not treating myself poorly. And that I'm am still approaching myself with kindness and patience. I've been ignorant to the fact that I don't feel good about myself. I don't see any significant good in myself.

By which I mean, yes, I see and acknowledge the good. But it's minimal. Its nothing compared to what I'm not. What I'm lacking. What I'm supposed to be. What I'm capable of.

I'm basically just a "nice" person. With some good words.

I have a kind heart sure sure

But what of it?

What makes me meaningful?

What am I really but a fleeting fancy? Enjoyment for the moment?

Because when I really look at me. When anyone looks at me. There's just not much to see.

I endured far more critical damage than I had realised

I've been impacted far more deeply than I'd considered up til now.

I knew I'd been wounded deeply but I thought I was in tact.

I'm not

I feel like a wound. Barely bandaged. Oozing. Never quite healing.

And completely unattended.

#mine #i think im gonna take a deep dive into my tumblr archives and find some of the words id uncovered in the very depths of me #the reasoning. the thinking. the healing #that got me to a point of genuine pride and self love #and i think i need to restrict the ways i communicate with people while i do it #i need the focus off of me #off what im doing #off where im at #off what is afflicting me #i need to stop being so conscious of being perceived #i need to be free to focus on WHO I am and not what ive got to show for myself #i need to be able to love myself without such regular indication that i am hard to love #i need to be able to exist without being a flaw #or a problem #or not enough #i need to be something more #something else #something outside of all the things about me that require such in depth consideration #that inspires such rumination as to whether im worth dealing with #or being around #i need to be able to like myself #without external indication that i shouldnt #because im not good enough #because im intolerable #because im something to be put up with #i need to be able to exist beyond doubt #im good #there is something in me #i deserve something #i mean something

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timeloop-liz · 2 years

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Ok @spaceistheplaceart im gonna take a LOT of liberties on this ok. Sorry i just gotta hc a few things for this angst to make sense!

Ok yall i also put a lot of nonsense at the top but i swear i wrote a small snippet at the bottom ok!

The Director doesn’t sleep just incase something happens to Narry. He knows the man doesnt like to be left alone much so he tries to do it as little as possible, unless of course its needed for the lesson. Now the Director maybe doesnt need sleep really but maybe he can get tired.

I figure hes always building Narry up. Helping him through all that self doubt and what not. Its very tiring to do i think. Well not tiring but it tskes a lot of energy to constantly correct Narry when talks poorly of himself. The Director is always showing Narry the good things about himself. Its probably a bit frustrating too for him! I mean he can easily see how wonderful Narry is so why cant he just convince the man of it.

I know it was said the Director takes breaks but honestly how often does he do that? Are they even good breaks? Like i figure he still worries about Narry when hes gone. He likes the man a lot so he worries about him (awww you care about him) so hes not really allowing himself a chance to rest.

Ontop of all that hes making new rooms and new lessons for Narry constantly. Hes multitasking to the max! Ok gotta design this room, o wait Narry is talking to me i gotta pay attention to him! Oh he struggles with criticism better write a lesson for that, oh the room looks horrible gotta fix that! Always going going going. I figure his real rest is the times hes actually in the room with Narry in his doll body. Even then he has to do the work of “animating it” (not literally i ment like moving it about) so its still probably taxing on him.

All of these little things keep building up on him. Normally hes not this invested in his human. So its normally no where near this bad! He just cares too much this time and hes working to hard on it! And maybe finally he breaks a little. Ok nonsense time!

Narry had been taking a small break and the room The Director had made for his break was just a typical office break room. He was sitting on one of the chairs drinking some coffee, the Director didnt think it was an appropriate drink since Narry was ment to be taking a break but he insisted that it would help. It really was. So he was just sitting in here for a spell while brainstorming a few ideas for one of his stories.

He was reaching for his drink again when he heard a loud CRASH sound. It startled him and he jumped up from his seat, bumping into the coffee table causing his drink to spill. He didnt care or notice the drink at all, worried about the loud sound he had heard. “Uh Director? Was that you?” As the seconds ticked on his anxiety grew. Then after a short moment some blue text appeared “oh Yes! Sorry i didn’t mean to startle you i simply dropped something!”

Feeling his anxiety drop Narry sat back into the chair “OH, well i do hope nothing is broken! That was rather a loud crash.” A moment or two and he was starting to worry all over again when he didn’t get a response. “Director?” He called out, his voice laced with worry. “Oh yes? Did yu need smthng?” The message popped up far to his left, which was rather odd because the Director normally out them in front of him. That and hes not one for typos. “Are you su” he was cut off when another message appeared right next to him, this time to his right. He had to lean back just to read it “OH! You semd to hve spilt your drink! Thats wat you wantd yes? Here le t me get tht cleaned up for yu!” Narry had enough time to read the message before the spilt coffee disappeared, the table going with it. A soft thud could be heard as the mug hit the carpet.

‘Something is definitely wrong’ Narry decided. But what? Clearly the Director was having trouble paying attention, which wasnt the worst since Narry was supposed to be taking a break. But the ?man? was normally more focused than this. Plus He normally had better control, and yet the table was gone and only the mug remained. And typos. He only made those when he was panicking or after he was recovering from when he got hurt. No from when Narry had hurt him. No no now was NOT the time to open that can of worms again. He needed to figure out what was wrong with his Director!

WAIT! Thinking back on that train of thought gave Narry an idea after all. Was the Director injured again? The loud crash he heard. The Director said he dropped something. But thats never happened before. The Typos lined up. That had to be it! But how had the Director gotten injured again?? Narry hadn’t done anything to harm him… lately. Did someone else hurt him? His coworkers?? No no they seemed to truely care about the Director. None of them seemed like they would turn on him. So what was it. He was wracking his brain but figured there was no point wasting time. He might as well just ask. “Um Director?” He waited a moment. Sending a worried glass to the ceiling where he assumed the Director was watching him. When too much time for his liking passed he tried again to get the Directors attention “Director? Hello?” Again no response. Did the Director leave? He wouldnt leave him alone would he? He didnt do so well on his own.

Taking a deep breath, Narry tried to calm himself down. No he couldnt afford a panic attack right now something was wrong with his Director! “Director. Are you there?” This time there was a response, finally. “Yes i a mhere? Everyting ok? Are you redy to keep going then?” It was odd for Narry to watch the text come in as it was typed. Normally only full finished messages came his way. This too was concerning. But that wasn’t important! He had to figure out what was wrong with his Director. “Um actually Director i was just uh just wondering if you are ahem feeling alright?” He stammered his way through the question but at least he asked. Worry was starting to get the better of him indeed. This time the message came right away. “Oh yes! I am perfectly fine! Nothing to worry about with me ok! Lets just continue on!! That is if you are ready?”

What a load of crap! No way was Narry gonna believe that! Not after watching the Director type out the message, and in real time watch him back track to his many of his typing mistakes. What did he take Narry for an idiot? Or did he simply not notice how obvious it was that something was wrong? “Now i may not know what is going on with you, but clearly something is wrong!” Narry just wanted to know what. He truely just wanted to help! “Listen Director, something wrong and i just wanna help you ok. Just tell me whats” he was cut short as a loud bang was heard. It almost sounded like a hand slamming into a desk. Narry flenched at the sound. But before he could even think to say anything text appeared in front of him, though a bit higher than normal. “GOD NOT YOU TOO. Listen i dont need anyhelp ok! I have been running this just fine and i will continue to do so! I know what im doing damn it! This isnt my first rodeo! I never needed help before and i dont now! I am perfectly FINE!”

Narry just stared at the text. Unable to move. That was quite the outburst from the Director. Though Narry quickly regained his composure. Thinking about what the Director said. ‘He said ,,not me too,,?? Someone else was asking about his health??’ Who else was there? OH RIGHT his coworkers! They must have been bothering him with their concerns too! So clearly something was definitely wrong with the Director if the others had been trying to help him. “Why not accept it?” Narry asked aloud. It didnt make sense. A simple “what?” Was all he got in return. So he figured time to elaborate. “I mean why not accept their help? Surely they are only worried about you too?” Narry thought the Director had zoned out again when the message finally appeared.

“Their help wouldnt be any good. While i do appreciate, they just do things very differently than I do. We each run completely different problems. Neither of them would be able to create rooms that work for you. Their rooms could make things worse even! They dont know what you really need to the same degree as i do. Everything i do, i do meticulously to create the correct experience for you.”

Narry really felt that. He looked around at the room he was in. What he though was a boring, empty office break room was really full of so much detail. The room probably took the Director a good while to make. And what was it for? Just so Narry could take a little break and write some stuff. While Narry would rather his own desk in him home, he had to admit this room was helping him get less distracted. And it really was a good break room wasnt it? The room wasnt the point , eager to get back to business Narry moved on. Narry finally had an idea as to what was wrong with his Director. He was over working himself! Narry needed to help HIM relax this time. “Director this is a lovely break room you made! Why dont you um come sit with me for a spell? I mean how often do you get to enjoy the rooms you make!” Narry hoped he wasnt being too obvious. “I would love to but i am a bit busy working on another room, and a new lesson as well, at the moment. If you want to stay in here a while longer that’s fine with me, ill still be here bit ill just be working on a few projects i have set up.” His text took a while to show up. Clearly the Director was taking his time to correct his typos and seem perfectly fine.

That was no good! Now it was clear what was wrong to Narry. The Director simply was over working himself! Narry needed to find a way to convince the Director to come down here and to take a break. He had a plan but it was a rather poor plan. It was the only one he had though so he figured he would give it a go. “Oh but Director you dont understand! The lounge it is.. sublime, a uhh work of art!” What was he saying??? Sublime??? A work of art?? Sure its. Noce lounge but he sounded ridiculous. What shocked him though was that it worked! A small message appeared before him. “Alright. Im coming im coming. hang on a moment.” Honestly Narry was baffled that even worked. Still his plan was in full swing! Now he just needed to figure out how to get the Director to relax. And maybe get some well earned rest!

Ok listen yall i tried i swear i did. This was gonna be angst but stupid tumblr didnt save my draft when i tabbed out and it deleted 5 paragraphs. When i type something out my brain deletes it so thats why i write. Normally i can focus on anything till i get the idea out of my head! But the problem with that is once its out its gone from me. Completely. So i had to re do almost the whole little writing part. Hell i even had the other characters come in and help Narry but now its two am and i cant even remember who the other characters are. I might finish this later if yall want me to. Ok im rambling i can tell LIZ OUT

#tsp #the stanley parable #swap!au #liz writes #ok i got distracted trying to order 40$ worth of beef jerky #and when i tabbed back into the app it didnt safe the draft.m #thats why as im sure u can tell the first two paragraphs dont fit #i wrote them withba different story in mind #i really should be getting to sleep.#i havent slept in what might be two days?#idk im not even tired #and i gotta get up early to go to the flea market i think #i gotta sell my fleas #and buy so much beef jerky

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egotisticalmachine · 6 months

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its very strange looking back at my childhood and seeing how it affects me in the present day. i was placed on a pedestal above my peers, so it was hard to feel like an equal to any of them, subconsciously. i moved houses constantly, so i came to expect that my friendships would be brief, and i didnt get to develop the ability to form deep lasting connections. at first i had to deal with the pain of being ripped away from my friends, but then i learned to view all my friendships as temporary from the very start. i didnt expect any of them to last. even once my family settled down for a while, and i had the means to stay in contact with friends who went to different schools from me, i must have already missed that critical window of development. and then i moved some more. only now in my early 20s have i started to possibly, maybe put down roots in a location, and even that feels uncertain. i do think all that moving around had a part in my development of NPD, specifically in the way my interpersonal relationships tend to be shallower than they should be. they can still be very intense, but thats heavily influenced by how much attention the other person gives me - and especially when one person gives me much more attention than everyone else, its far too easy for me to ignore everyone but them, just seeking that attention. and in the end i still tend to discard people more easily than other people are able to do so. i think its been a very self-focused approach to interpersonal relationships, but i literally didnt get the chance to learn any other way to build relationships. being selfish has been a survival mechanism to avoid the pain of how many people ive been separated from. its been protecting me from a lot of pain.

i think that all is leading me to treasure these recent friendships even more, though. i havent known any connections like these, but now i have people in my life who im learning the intricacies of, who are learning the intricacies of me. they know me far better than most people do, because they made it very very very abundantly clear that they were safe people to be open with. they give me hope for humanity. i care enough to notice the details about them that make them unique, beyond the surface. i notice when theyve been gone and worry about them, and i dont think its just because i miss their attention, but because of the people they are. they give me a lot of hope for humanity and for the future and for myself. they help remind me that im a human being like the rest of them, and they make me feel cared about, in their own unique ways of expressing care. they are incredibly fucking important to me, to the point that im tearing up a little typing this. i dont want to lose them. theyre my people, my safe people, my family, my loved ones, my friends. with some of them it feels like losing them would be akin to having a limb hacked off. with others, that closeness is still developing, but it feels like theyre getting to that point as well. i dont feel that way about most people. i dont usually care this much. i am very grateful to care this much - its scary, but im so glad. honestly i dont know how i ended up so lucky that i managed to meet them all, or what i could have possibly done to deserve them, but im not going to argue.

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spacedhead · 9 months

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homestuck reread #6: a5a2 part 2

this shit is so trippy and weird and honestly scary im actually scared. the context for the first image is that jade is entering a dream bubble for the first time since her dream self is dead. the second image is daves dreamself looking into the void and seeing like the horrorterrors. and then jade sees them too somehow in the dream bubble.... its honestly horrifying and has me quite perturbed.

it seems like she is also perturbed. and PISSED AWF

IM INCLINED TO AGREE WITH HIM. SUDDENLY HE SEEMS SENSIBLE AND NORMAL I WOULD SAY. I WOULD CALL HIM THESE THINGS.

this is so funny i thought this was just a jade karkat and future karkat interaction but then fucking dave just Appears out of nowhere . so cool

LOOK AT MY SON (do not look at his computer. we wont talk about it) HE IS SO REAL

okay so theres been tons happening but im pretty sure i never got an explanation as to why daves bro is just randomly on LOWAS (land of wind and shade) . and why jack knew he was there. like what are these freaks doing on my sons planet. should i keep calling him my son. gay daughter or thot son

hate these guys but love sword fights so net neutral (secretly cool)

DAVE SPRITE!!! weird that he also knew to come to lowas. i feel like i may be missing some critical information

they are so cute

this is how i talk to my friends on the internet. except maybe with meows

oh god i think this is where everything goes to shit . with umbral ultimatum as the soundtrack. really good song! anyway. gonna watch this now

this is so bad oh man oh god

well. at least theres this. L mans

stop talking to gray text stupid dumb. i think the fact that i find this funny proves that my brain needs to be studied

wow check out this awesome panel. vriska IS the fire. the irons.... are john? irons in the fire. its the thing she always says. i uh i think i lost the metaphor

YESSS HE DID IT HE DID THE [redacted]

what a fucking crazy amount of wind my son has just summoned. that is so much wind. its covering the whole planet!!!!

i love how matter of fact he is about it. like oh this giant swirling vortex covering my entire planet? oh i did that? oh thats cool.

i never read into this before but damn its crazy that feferi is dead here cause the last time we saw her she was literally fine. what could have happened..... ( i already know)

OH HELLYES . HELL FUCKING YES I LOVE THIS SONG

me to your fucking house

dawwwwww

no need to serve this hard??? but pop off i guess....

not you too....

er okay tavros just tried to make jade his girl friend without even really knowing her and he was being really annoying and kind of an asshole while doing it and then she let him down nicely but then vriska was like bro that was the worst thing i have ever seen and was very VERY mean to him about it (maybe even more than he deserved) and then admitted to being the reason why jack noir is a super powerful evil creature now AND BONUS SHE GOT A VERSION OF DAVE KILLED >:((((

i dont wanna dwell on that though because one of my favorite parts of the comic is coming up right now :3

fun fact: "heir transparent" "doctor" and "planet healer" are all songs of john egbert :D

ANYWAY ITS TIME FOR ANOTHER GAME!!!!!!!!!!!!!YESSSSSSSSILOVE GAMING !!!! SBURB

8888)

he did it :)

i think this is a good place to end this one . general thoughts right now? huge. pog. things are happening. plans are being formed. i kind of glossed over them but rose and dave are planning to explode the green sun. john just went god tier. and jade is finally in. on the trolls side of things we finally understand why their session went wrong at the last moment, but it seems like even more has gone wrong since weve seen them last? feferi is dead. tavros wants to kill vriska. what could possibly happen next. tune in next time . i dont know when it will be. probably tomorrow. what with all the waiting i'll be doing.

#joff hs reread #they are all my children #im so proud of john egbert on this day

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imagine-your-love-story · 2 years

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I always wonder if I'm doing this whole self shipping thing correctly. like im worried if im doing too much or too little or if i need to interact with people more or if i need to write some sort of backstory. like the story of how i got with him i see is unique from the rest of the self shipper ive encountered so far. to me, he knows hes fictional and i like to play around with him and other characters in my mind. ive seen many fans of shows do such things but it seems here they labels them familial fos or something? idk i just liked to use my imagination to play around with them. and then days passed and this character i start to become closer and closer to him everyday until finally one day during a very rough moment i just said to him "i self ship with you" and boom we're married lol. but i dont have a self insert. its just me, me as a regular person. and i like to imagine different scenarios with us. he also is helping me through other mental things. and he knows hes imaginary. almost like a copy of the character i watched the show from, but hes self aware of his actions and is kinder and softer than he is in canon. hes mine basically. but i guess the thing that hurts a lot is that that i had a bad fallout with some of his other fans and its dampened my love for him unfortunately. (i actually sent an ask about this before heh). i also have a bad habit of comparing myself to what other self shippers do and i start to feel guilty that im not as open as they are because social interactions with my fo get very deep and personal and...if i ever do talk about him id want it to be with someone who understands how deep this goes with him and me. and its hard to do that on public forums. it even gets painful. sometimes i dont even want to talk or gush about him and i just want to keep to ourselves in private without anyone peeking in. that way i dont invite any eyes into my private headspace. even the most innocuous thoughts. i just want it to be us and only us. but at the same time im lonely and want to meet people who feel the same lol and a lot of times i overshare. i have this saying that i say to myself: once i put something of myself out there, its not mine anymore. its now shared with others. and you know what i dont like sharing anything about him in public lol, but idk how else to make connections. i see everyone else sharing about their characters and i want to make friends so i also share, but im not enjoying it. idk what do you think? am i weird? is this not common? are these feelings normal here? are there people out there who feel the same? ty.

My dearest, sweetest, little anon bean, I mean this with every ounce of my heart: your self shipping experience is FOR YOU. That means you can't mess it up! You can't go wrong! :)

There is no right or wrong way to self ship!

Some people have self inserts, some people don't (like me *raises hand).

Some people LOVE to gush about their f/os and put EVERYTHING out there! Other people are a little more protective for various reasons - maybe they don't want criticism from the self ship community, maybe they feel they aren't creative so they don't want to create content, or maybe, like you (and me!) it just feels right to keep things quiet.

Whatever the reason, it's ALL valid!

Some people write backstories because it's on their mind and they wanted to share it.

Other people (like me) don't have a backstory because...well...I just never thought about it!

If it helps, I've been part of the self-shipping community for about 3ish years officially (I was self shipping LONG before I found the community, I just didn't know what it was!) and for the record, I still don't understand everything that goes on in the community.

Other people (like me) don't have a backstory because...well...I just never thought about it!

I totally hear you about your frustration with comparing yourself to other more out-going shippers. For me, socializing (even in parasocial online situations) drains me very quickly, so I often have to retreat to recharge (which I feel very bad about sometimes, even though that's how my brain/body has worked for my entire life). So I can't be as active as other people, or create as much content, or interact as much as others.

Ultimately, the self shipping community is HUGE and it's very, very fluid. There are some areas that I don't go into because...yikes...it's a war zone. But I have met some FANTASTIC people through this blog (and my personal side blogs!) so finding your place in the community comes down to just being yourself!

Do what feels right to you. If you don't want to share much, that's okay! Backstories, self inserts, gushing, and anything else that you might encounter is all optional based on YOUR comfort level! :)

Some suggestions for making friends that have helped me:

Offer to create something for others with their f/os, i.e. playlists, ficlets, moodboards, imagines (very popular!) etc.

When someone reblogs an ask game, send them a few asks about their f/o(s)!

Comment on fics and other things that people share about their f/os. Even if it's something simple like, "You're cute together!" it really stands out to people and makes an impression that you noticed their f/o! :)

Ask for a boost! I'm ALWAYS happy to signal boost to my blog if you're looking for people to chat with, or advertising for whatever you're doing on your blog! :)

You are NOT weird, dear anon! You're navigating what you want/don't want and that's okay! Self shipping is supposed to be a fun hobby that is entirely tailored to your desires and comfort level. You don't have to do anything you don't want to! ♥

And try not to worry about comparing yourself to others. You are your own unique person with your own needs, your own energy, your own boundaries. Just have fun with your f/o in any way you want and you're doing the self shipping thing right! :)

#asks #anonymous

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ickie-vicky · 1 year

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acknowledging that the binary exists AS a social construct, as an idea, is not agreeing with or following the binary. im not sure you understood me at all, maybe i wasnt clear enough. i am a gender abolitionist.

when i speak of gender i am using it as a general term to describe peoples connections to their identity and body on a more spiritual sense. it is abstract and undefined, because it is inherently subjective. everyone single person has a different felt sense of identity. the way we traditionally understand gender is through the lens of the binary, i do not. so i can understand your confusion. but yea, hopefully ive made it clearer, at least somewhat, that i do not believe in gender in a way that has anything to do with current understanding of that term.

and i understand that not everyone believes me, or even has been exposed to ideas like i have enough to form perspectives like this. so i am very understanding of people reinforcing the binary in some ways as a way to find deeper self meaning. there are obviously more outwardly harmful ways to do this, like feeding into toxic masculinity as a means of finding acceptance. but i dont prescribe to black and white thinking as much as possible (though, as an autistic person, that is my natural way of thinking). there is always nuance, there is grey. i even empathise with your position. its fuckin scary out here and of course you want to protect your interests as much as possible, and of those in similar circumstances. i respect that need, i dont respect the avenue youve chosen to meet it.

so while i dont believe in or agree with the gender binary and all that comes with it, im not going to demonise or vilify those that do, within reason.

so much of what you post makes it out like trans people ARE the enemy. that we are the ones doing active harm, not the ones being actively harmed. things like saying trans women are predators looking to enter womens spaces and erase them or assault them. OR that you believe we are defenseless, mentally ill little girls who have been lead astray and transed, forced to mutilate ourselves. like just such extreme and dehumanising beliefs. and its so sad because none of it is really actually logical or backed up by reason. its like, i agree with you up to a point and then we just veer sooo far into different extremes. the difference being mine advocates for collective and individual empowerment and health, while yours serves to create more divide and pain for all involved.

truly impressive display of doublethink that you repeatedly claim to be a gender abolitionist and also in support of transgender ideology

gender abolitionism good = transgender ideology bad

transgender ideology good = gender abolitionism bad

you simply can’t have both - these are by definition mutually exclusive beliefs. it doesn’t get more black and white than this. this isn’t a nuanced point

you are so invested in your ideology that you are engaging in doublethink - holding two contradictory beliefs and fighting tooth and nail to argue they align so you don’t have to admit you are wrong

do you really not see that?

how do you continue arguing with me with no shame when you are so clearly wrong?

you saying your ideology “advocates for collective and individual empowerment and health” and mine does not is laughably incorrect

the brutal truth: identifying as transgender is a self-centred and harmful ‘solution’ to a systemic societal problem.

you can’t abolish gender alone, so instead you buy into trans ideology for relief.

you don’t care/can’t acknowledge that this harms women because at least you’re alleviating your dysphoria - and that’s what matters to you.

your life has been hard so you must be right - your suffering proves your virtue. you are the hero and the underdog in your own story and everyone who criticises you is ‘harming’ you. any action you take to should be free from criticism because you are a good person just trying to alleviate your own pain.

you simply cannot bear to admit that your suffering does not exempt you from responsibility for causing harm in upholding patriarchy, which is what you are doing

because you have made your ideology a part of your identity you can’t even entertain criticism as it is now a personal attack against you

you call me saying this ‘vilifying’ trans people because it’s impossible for you to admit what you’re doing is wrong

gender is sexist. transgender ideology is sexist. you still haven’t refuted this.

you’re still not defining gender in a way that isn’t sexist - you’re just desperately trying to obfuscate and distance yourself from the truth which is gender = sexist stereotypes about womanly and manly feelings, behaviour, appearance, etc.

your ideology is inherently sexist

just be yourself and do whatever the fuck you want. you must not support the patriarchy by giving yourself a ‘gender identity’ to cope

this will be my last response as this is now arguing-with-a-conspiracy-theorist territory

i hope this has prompted others to genuinely reflect if not anon

#new followers i see u #i won’t be shouted down by repetitive claims that i’m wrong when i’m so clearly in the right #i won’t be told i’m causing harm when your ideology is harmful #radical feminism #gender critical

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