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luv4-liv · 2 months

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❝First time❞

Pairing: Theodore Nott x Reader

Warnings: Smut. +18. First time (hers). He's older (only two years, but, you know). Unprotected sex (do not do it please¡!).

Summary: You and him have a secret relationship, because he is two years older than you, and in fact, he is your brother's best friend. So, this is the first time they have had sex, basically..

The plot of this One Shot is totally mine and my imagination.

I have changed my W account, so you can find this in Spanish in my new wattpad account (delicateew)

Remember that English is not my language so it may contain several errors, please be patient with me

Don't translate this, or adapt it, or anything like that into Spanish, I'll do it, because it's my language. Thank you!

And I want to apologize for being inactive for too long, just things happened to keep me busy, so so sorry:(

(that's not my gif)

____ was in her room, Theo sitting in the desk chair, reading a book for one of his exams, and she on top of him, her face hidden in his neck.

"Fuck, I already read twenty pages and none of the information stuck in my head."

The girl closed her eyes and stroked the opposite's hair.

"You're going to get frustrated and stressed and it's going to make you sick. Relax and go back to reading them patiently.."

"I have no choice..." she let out a sigh and continued reading the book.

Minutes later, she felt his hand fall heavily on her thigh, but she said nothing.

She opened her eyes as he began to caress her thigh, it felt like tickling, but strange.

She began to hold her breath the moment he squeezed it and began to sink his fingers into it.

It felt strangely good.

Theodore gritted his teeth, trying to concentrate on the book, but every time he felt her breath on his neck or her leg brushing against him, it was getting harder and harder.

He tried to ignore it but to no avail. Finally, he closed the book and set it aside, sighing deeply.

"I can't concentrate like this with you.." she murmured, bending down to stroke his cheek. Nott leaned closer, his lips barely brushing hers before he pulled back with a smile. "I really just can't resist you."

He kissed her slowly, placing his hand carefully on her neck.

He moved his hand up to her jaw, pulling her away from the kiss and ran his face to the side gently, so he could gain access and kiss her neck.

Theo gasped against her neck, running his lips along her soft skin. He tightened his fingers around her waist, letting out a choked breath when she tugged on his hair lightly.

His lips moved to her face again and kissed her.

She let out a barely audible moan as she felt his bulge grow between her legs.

Realizing it, he pulled away from her quickly.

"Fuck, I'm sorry.."

She denied, thinking about what he would answer her.

"I want to."

He looked up at the sound and suppressed a smile to look more serious.

"Are you sure...you don't have to, ____"

"Theo.. I really want to, I promise."

The Slytherin looked into her eyes, seeing that she was serious.

His lips curved into a slow smile. He gave her a kiss on the cheek and then began to unbutton her shirt, until it was off, revealing her bra.

He removed his own shirt and reconnected their lips. The hufflepuff closed her eyes, accepting his kiss. His tongue entered her mouth and ____ let herself be swept up in the moment.

Nott's hands traveled down her back, until they reached the clasp of her bra. He stood there for a few seconds until he managed to remove it, getting rid of it.

He knew she would feel embarrassed and insecure, so he preferred to continue kissing her to make her feel comfortable.

He got up from the chair, carrying her over to the bed and laid her down there.

Theo looked at ____ and slowly removed her skirt and underwear, after that, he unbuttoned her pants letting them fall down along with her boxers and moved even closer, brushing his member against her intimacy while he started to leave kisses all over her face, until he stopped at her lips.

Their lips joined in a deep kiss, with one of his hands he positioned his member at her entrance while with the other he caressed her cheek to soothe her.

Then, she parted the kiss as she felt him slowly enter, he for his part, continued to leave kisses on her cheek and neck as a way of soothing her.

Soon, he was completely inside. He was so careful and gentle that she barely felt a little sting, but it didn't hurt.

"You tell me when you're ready, my sweet." he said waiting for permission to continue or if she felt uncomfortable, to leave things just there.

"You can move now.." he whispered, trying to get used to the strange sensation.

Theo, without taking his eyes off her, slowly, began to move slightly, prioritizing that she was comfortable and felt safe.

When he saw her satisfied face, he began to increase his speed and intensity, but without allowing himself to be so rough or go at the pace he wanted, so as not to hurt her.

Still, ____ began to feel increasing pleasure.

She felt him going in and out so satisfyingly, it felt incredibly good, it was like nothing else in the world.

As it was all happening, she began to scratch his back, and somehow that turned him on more.

He with his hands fixed on her hips, spreading kisses down her neck and leaving several marks along the way.

Theo let out a moan of pleasure that was impossible to contain. His rhythm became louder and faster, feeling himself getting closer to the edge.

"Merlin, I love you so much.."

He felt her walls tighten around him and seconds later he felt her cum.

It took only a couple more thrusts to stop, withdraw from inside her and cum, dripping into her abdomen.

"Oh, Merlin..." she relaxed her body and closed her eyes completely exhausted.

"Oh, my sweet, you can't fall asleep like this, let's clean you up first." he said stroking her hair.

____ felt like sleeping a lot, she didn't know if it was just because it was the first time, but if she closed her eyes for a moment more, she wasn't going to open them for a couple of hours..

"Although I admit you look pretty all smeared with my cum." he laughed

"Theo!" she rolled her eyes smiling.

She'd had her first time.

And she was pretty sure no one could have done it better than he did.

#one shot #+18 content #harry potter #harry potter smut #theodore nott #theodore nott smut #slytherin #slytherpuff #hufflepuff #slytherin boys #slytherin boys react #harry potter oneshot #theodore nott oneshot #wattpad #lorenzo zurzolo

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helsensm · 2 months

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Can’t remember what was the premise for this and I’m too lazy to make a decent comic out of it, so just have this poorly digitalized railao doodle I found in my sketchbook, y’all can add any context you want~

I posted some Kung Lao and mk1 Kung Jin headcanons earlier, so now I think I’ll drop railao thoughts too. Nothing too crazy - I prefer to read/hear about other’s hc more than to think about them myself afgHjHh

- Raiden fell first, but Kung Lao fell harder.

- Lao did confess first tho. After the mk1 events and some chill time together they both realized that they can't stand being separated and stressed about the other’s safety.

- They used to have these red-string “lucky bracelets” when they were kids but stopped wearing them in middle school (prob lost them or because it wasn’t “cool” anymore hah). Later, after mk1 when they officially started dating, they got a pair of matching ones, as a substitute for the wedding rings. 😊 (now go find all of them on my railao art 👀)

- Right now (mk1 and right after) Raiden’s hair is longer than Lao’s, but Lao is growing his hair out so in the future he’ll be rocking that one long-ass braid we all love. 🥰 Also he has no idea how to style hair besides the ponytail and a simple braid, so sometimes Raiden will do his hair for him as soon as it grows long enough.

- Since childhood Raiden collects cool rocks he found around the village and sometimes he gives them to Lao. I suspect that Raiden is a penguin.

- When Lao noticed that the flower petals have a strange tendency to follow him everywhere, he began collecting them and leaving in various places, including Raiden’s home and school desk. After they got together, the petals would follow Raiden on their own volition every time the two are separated. 🌸

- Lao began to pierce his ears right after the school graduation and Raiden thinks he looks cool, but he did only one piercing per ear for himself much later. Although I'm starting to dig Novice’s idea that he can’t wear them because of his lightning powers. 🤔

- Raiden calls Kung Lao just “Lao” or “my Lao” (but not in a “professional setting”, like on missions or in front of people who are not considered their friends). Kung Lao loves giving Raiden cheesy nicknames.

- Lao is so passionate in his affection, he’s borderline aggressive, he kisses and hugs like it’s their last time. Raiden is more sensual and a fan of prolonged physical touch, like holding hands for the whole day.

- Kung Lao is a professional shit talker and yapper, Raiden just nods and listens. He remembers everything tho, even if it’s something ridiculous that Lao himself will forget after five minutes.

- Lao actually can cook at a reasonable level. I also think he’s very creative and resourceful and can make a decent meal from a limited number of ingredients.

- A relatively new follow-up hc inspired by this tt and personal experience discussion with D3rpy: Kung Lao eats like a vacuum cleaner and can’t stand people wasting food because when he was a kid his family had a rough few years when they could barely afford enough food. And although things have changed for the better, it’s a habit now, he’s like a stray animal - you can’t waste food when you don’t know when you’ll eat next. Also this is when he got closer to Raiden’s family, hanging out in his house more often.

#sorry for typos and errors - wrote this while being ✨drunк✨#raiden #mk raiden #kung lao #railao #mortal kombat #mk1 #mortal kombat 1 #helsensm art

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reverieaa · 1 year

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A change of clothes.

Man's biggest misconception is believing that manifestation is physical, that it's your job to make sure those manifestations show up.

If they don't, you're told to persist, think about it more, affirm robotically, try harder, and as a result, you end up walking in a trap of repeating and failing that many of us were victim of.

Then you tell yourself you're probably imaging it wrong, you're not affirming enough or maybe you're just not enough for your desires.

But this is NOT what loa is, not what Nevielle was teaching and not what Edward art is explaining.

When we say assume that you have your desire, we're talking about the 4d. It's only in your inner world where you can make things happen.

The law isn't about changing uour surroundings, it's about changing you because that's all there is.

I mentioned in my previous post that when I admitted to myself that I can't manifest, I felt this freedom within me, that's because I stopped forcing myself and stopped trying to find a way to make things happen.

Many of us keep the 3d alive because we're looking for an answer, but what you need to realize is thag you can't, you as the outer man, can't make a brand new face, you can't fly and you can't make things show up out of thin air.

But in your imagination you can do all of these things can't you? You can change your face, you can fly as high as you want, you can manifest in 5 sec, you can go to sleep jn New York and wake up in Paris.

That is the inner man, that is who you are, and that means you've been manifesting successfully this entire time.

The problem is not how vivildy you imagine, how much emotion you put into it, how much you affirm, it's what you pay attention to and feel to be the truth.

When people say they get results in 5sec, they do in the inner world, assumption can only live in the inner world, that's the only responsibility.

With me saying that you can't do something in this community, you'd believe it's a lie because loa bloggers always tell you there's nothing you can't do.

But you need to accept that yhe outer man is powerless, you as the outer man can do nothing, unlike the inner man.

By doing this, you let go of the 3D because the the outer man stops looking, don't tire him and leave him be.

All you can do is accept or let go.

When you wear something you don't like and you want to change, do you change your clothes to change your reflection or do you change it to change yourself?

Start with gentle reminders throughout your day that you're free to imagine what you wish, that there is no one else but you and that what you seek is never the actual object of your desires, but the feeling of it's truthfulness, it's reality.

Many of you have terrible 3D circumstances. This does not mean you ignore your 3D but you do not react to it. Just like Edward art said, you must learn how to go on about your daily life as an observer not a reactor.

Let me ask you this, you can imagine what you want and live as you want jn your mind, and sometimes you get negative or intrusive thoughts right? And what do you normally do when you have a thought like that? You notice it and let it go the next sec right? You've observed it but you didn't occupy it, you just thought of it as a stupid thought.

Why is your 3D different from that? It's not. You notice bad things in your reality all the time, but that does not mean that you occupy ot right?

Prioritize your 4D over the 3D. It takes time when you've lived your life being taught the opposite all the time, but it can surely happen.

This way, even if you spiral, you can get back up easily because you've learned that since your reality, beating yourself up when you're down is exactly what life will show back to you.

I remember reading a certain post from @aphroditeapprenticee that I related to a lot. They said that they thought once they mastered loa they would feel like the baddest bitch in the universe but now they ende dup feeling at peace, calm and in control.

I definitely feel the same way. I thought I'd feel powerful and like no one could touch me. I tried to force that on myself, but obviously, it didn't work. Instead, through the right understanding of loa, I ended up feeling right. I don't know how to explain it, but there was this sense of euphoria in the back of my mind like everything now was alright. I felt a sense of security and treated myself with a kind of gentleness I never received before.

That is because I gave myself permission and stopped a strict mental diet of checking every thought, affirming mindlesslly like a parrot ( as nevielle would put it) and blaming myself for the 3d.

Now reading about loa does not feel like work, I get excited to read loa posts from certain bloggers that helped me understand Neville's teachings.

So, to recap this post:

your only power and responsibility you have and can have is you. There is nothing you need to change or can change, but the conception of yourself. You can only accept or deny, only feel or observe.

The way you leave the 3d alone is by leaving the outer man alone. Let him be, and don't make him go around looking for something he is too limited to see.

If you're spiraling because of it, you're either using the 3D self go look or you're using imagination to change your circumstances.

Loa isn't just a tool you use and leave once you get what you want. It's a journey that requires the death of your limited self, your previous beliefs, and the bravery to face yourself.

#loa #law of assumption #loa affirmations #affirmations #affirm and persist #neville goddard #manifesting #manifestation #void state #loa methods

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starlight-and-snowflakes · 9 months

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5 strategies that have improved my executive functioning in 2023

1. Preparing tasks in advance

This tip has been one of the most useful things for me to be able to actually get the things I want to do done without getting stuck in the process. I am very prone to difficulties with task initiation and task switching. Basically I've found that if I check what activities are upcoming for that day in my calendar (but you can use any task that you want to do sometime that day) then I set the task up in advance it's a lot easier to actually do the task.

So if my goal is to stream after dinner then I turn my pc on and have my setup ready to go before dinner. If I want to do a Pilates workout I set up my mat an hour before I actually want to do the workout. If I want to go to the gym I get into gym clothes at the start of the day so I don't have to change later.

I basically eliminate all the difficult prep work and then I find doing the task so much easier when I get to it.

2. Task switching when stuck

A lot of neurodivergent people have issues with getting 'stuck' or 'frozen', myself included. Whether it's autistic inertia or decision paralysis or something else it's very common to find yourself unable to do anything at all. You'll know that even if you put your phone away or stop what you're doing you'll just continue to sit there doing nothing.

The solution to this for me has consistently been to switch goal. I want to get up and shower but can't? I'll find that I can pull my laptop out and get some work done instead (and then shower after lunch later in the day). I am stuck when I want to stream? I find I can do my skincare instead (and I ended up streaming the next day).

Yes this means you don't get your original goal done when you wanted but you get something done, and something is better than nothing.

3. Task chaining

I've found that task chaining is the easiest way for me to get multiple tasks done. It's basically building upon your success. Take the example from my task switching section where I couldn't get myself to start streaming so I decided to do my skincare instead. While doing skincare I remembered I wanted to ask my brother about a particular product. So suddenly I'm capable of going to ask him about it. I couldn't even get out of bed before but now I have the motivation to move (I keep my skincare next to my bed so I didn't have to get up prior to this). After talking to him I decide I can go downstairs and make tea (something I originally wanted to do before streaming but was too stuck to do). While downstairs my mother tells me that she has a pile of laundry for me. I decide to take it back upstairs and put it away immediately. While doing so I figure I may as well sort all the laundry that's piled up on my floor as well.

I've gone from not doing anything to completing 4 separate tasks. If I wanted to get up and put the clothes on my floor away originally I'd never have been able to do it. I built on my successfully completed tasks and chained them together. Of course you should still remember to rest after chaining a number of tasks together.

4. Prioritise harder tasks earlier

I get all my energy at the start of the day and feel quite tired by the end of the day. This is how most people feel due to how our circadian rhythms function. Because of this I have found it's a lot easier to get difficult tasks done in the morning.

So now instead of trying to clean my room or go to the gym at 5pm I'll do it at 9am. I'll save 5pm for my easy tasks, things like studying Korean, meditating, studying geography, and coding. Take some time to figure out which tasks you find easy and which you find hard. If you consistently find yourself unable to do a task that's a hint that it's difficult for you. Vice versa if you're consistently capable of a task it might be a sign it's an easier one for you.

5. Using an AI scheduler

I saved this one for last, not because it's ineffective, it's actually made a huge difference in my life. But it does cost money to take full advantage of this so I put it down the bottom. Still there's a lot to be said for using an AI scheduler. I hate choosing what to do and have always preferred to be told what tasks I should do each day. It also takes a huge amount of mental energy to decide what tasks I should do when each week and organise them in advance.

Enter Reclaim, the AI scheduler of my dreams (there are lots of other ones on the market too like Motion! Take a look around and see if you can find one you like but unfortunately they all seem paid). Reclaim does have a free version but for me their paid version is necessary to achieve my goals.

I set up all my tasks and habits in Reclaim, I can customise how often I want to do things, how long they should take, and what hours I have free. Then I just check my calendar each day and see what tasks I'm meant to do. If I end up taking more time than expected I just hit the 'reschedule' button on a task and it's automatically slotted in somewhere else that week. This has definitely made one of the biggest changes to my quality of life I could probably make a whole separate post about using Reclaim.

That's all the tips that have worked for me this year so far, maybe some of them might help you!

#actually autistic #actually neurodivergent #executive dysfunction #adhd #autism #executive function #long

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namisweatheria · 11 days

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I really miss the romance dawn trio where it's Zoro and Nami on either side of Luffy. The monster trio is great and everything but it does make me sad how Sanji took Nami's place. I miss the times when Zoro and Nami would threaten someone simultaneously, weapons drawn in sync. It felt so good in a gender way.

I've only just started thinking about this but I'd love to create things for an AU where Sanji just never gets that strong, and Nami powers up alongside Zoro and Luffy instead. I think it could be good for both Nami and Sanji's characters in different ways.

I think Sanji's whole thing about being made to feel subhuman for not being strong enough could be explored in such an interesting and even more powerful way if he really never got that strong. If he didn't ever have to be the warrior, if just being a cook like he always wanted to be was enough. Of course all the Strawhats contribute to the fights, but if he had more of a supportive role like Chopper that could be so interesting when it comes time to explore his insecurities. Going from 'the standards you were being held to are completely unreasonable and there's nothing wrong with being human' to 'you don't have to be strong at all, it's okay to just be you' could be soooo good. HE WOULD SUFFER SO MUCH MORE. But I think he'd end in an even healthier place. The journey could be so interesting.

AS FOR NAMI!!! She could be more like Zoro, fighting with the words of someone she lost in her mind. Bellemere told her to never lose to anyone, that girls have to strong too. It could be such a good what-if parallel to Kuina. If Kuina had a supportive adult encouraging her that she can be strong too, if her father hadn't been sexist, she could have gone just as far as Zoro does. The proof that her gender never made her inferior fighting right alongside him. God it'd be soooo satisfying and it'd make the message so much stronger. Also, Nami's slow development of becoming braver could be in the forefront. She'd have to fight herself so much harder to constantly be on the front lines. Plus, the comedy of an incredibly powerful person being a scaredycat is too good.

Which of course brings up, what happens to the scaredycat duo? I think the answer is related to what happens to Sanji's advice to Usopp in Water Seven. I think just because AU Sanji isn't strong, that doesn't mean he becomes any more fearful or less likely to put himself in harms way. Instead of the background gag of Nami and Usopp cowering together, it could change to Usopp constantly having to brave the battlefield to drag Sanji back out of it. I think they'd fight a lot, but very differently from Zoro and Sanji's fighting. Usopp gets mad because he doesn't want Sanji to get hurt, and it's hard to be truly hostile to someone with those kind of intentions.

Remember when Usopp reassured Chopper that 'it's okay to run away, just do what you can do'? And some of the others kinda made fun of him, like, 'That's your motto eh Usopp?'. He was telling Chopper what he wanted to hear, but much later we find he didn't really believe it, not when it's for himself. He also told Chopper it's okay when Merry's mast broke under his watch, "because we can replace the mast, but we can't replace you!" I think AU Usopp would be saying this kind of thing to Sanji all the time. They'd be very close. So when Usopp's insecurity gets the better of him in Water Seven, it's a huge betrayal for Sanji specifically. How could he say those things to him if all this time, he didn't really mean them? If it's not true for Usopp, where does that put Sanji?

It could go a lot of other ways too, though. Maybe their close relationship based on not being the strongest and being okay with it together would enable Sanji to talk Usopp down from leaving. Or, bad version, Sanji could take it just as personally as Usopp does, since Usopp is to him what Merry is to Usopp, and they both leave. God, they'd all be so heartbroken. Lots to think about...

As for Nami, I think she'd be a lot closer with Zoro. They'd be bickering all the time, but it would have that trust that Zoro and Luffy have underneath it. That if one of them needs a break, the other is there to pick up the slack. This is already their dynamic in a different way, both acting as secondary leaders, keeping things from getting too out of control. To me the best example of that is Whiskey Peak, when they're the only two who weren't fooled. I think it would help both of them retain their silliness if they were always on equal footing, fighting side-by-side. Some of my favorite East Blue moments are the couple of times they played jokes on the others together, and I think we'd see a lot more of that. When you trust the person next to you to be perfectly in-step with you, it's a lot easier to have fun even in dangerous situations.

I think especially Zoro needs help keeping his goofy side, and for Nami it'll help her get over her fears to have her reliable best friend right there egging her on. I just think they'd have a lot of fun!

Nami & Usopp, Zoro & Sanji, they're both fun dynamics, but I'd love to switch it up. There's just so much possibility to explore...

#my posts #my aus #nami #nami & zoro #sanuso #I mean. yeah. it would be.#plus i miss the poly triad vibes of the romance dawn trio. bring them back to me....

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fanttasttica · 6 months

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Friends with benefits

Rhysand x reader

You and Rhys had been friends with benefits for a few years already. But there is one tiny problem - you developed feelings for him and can't hide it anymore. You decided to tell him about it. How is he going to react?

warnings: mentions of sex and alcohol (but nothing terrible :D )

words: 4542

Waking up in Rhysand´s bedroom wasn't something new for you. You have been friends with benefits for a while now, maybe.. ten, twelve or fifteen years? You weren't sure anymore. It felt so natural for you, that you simply lost count. You started doing this after a while, when you both were alone. Rhys was overwhelmed with work and you offered him help, wanting to take something off his plate, you said that you would do anything to help him come to new thoughts. He was a shameless flirt and he was flirting with almost every woman in his radar and most of the time, he meant nothing by that, so when he started making some certain comets, you weren't taking it seriously. Actually, you flirted back, taking it as a game, but you didn't stop there. That night, you slept together for the first time. Waking up next to him the next morning was embarrassing and you had a long talk, during which you found out, both of you liked it and wanted to continue with this. That morning, you agreed that this is not a relationship. You were supposed to be still only friends, like before, the only difference was that sometimes, you will release your stress, using each other's bodies. So.. that's how you end up here, in his bed, once again. Except, a lot of things have changed during those years. Of course, you were still friends and in bed? He was probably better than before, if it is possible. But there was one teeny tiny little problem.. your feelings. During the years, you caught yourself staring at Rhysand more than before, you were smiling at him more, trying to spend more time with him. Slowly, you developed a crush on him and at last Starfall, that had been nearly half a year ago, you realized that you no longer have a crush on your friend.. no. You loved him and you are still in love with him to this day. You were thinking about telling him this, but you were certain that he wasn't feeling the same for you. In the end, he isn't treating you any differently than he was before. You sighed quietly, not wanting to wake up the sleeping High lord next to you. He was so tired from yesterday's visit in Hewn city and deserved his rest. His hand was laying on your hip, pulling you closer to his warm body. You turned carefully, so now you were facing him. You smiled lovingly at him. He was so beautiful in this light. Well to be honest, he was beautiful in every light, everytime. His hairs fell on his face and you gently pushed them back, trying to remember every second of this precious moment, when you didn't have to hide your feelings for him. You spent another hour, only looking at him, before you decided to return to your room.

After bathing and dressing yourself, you stared at your reflection in the mirror for a few minutes. You had to tell him. You were afraid, yes, but this couldn't continue. You can not possibly bear it. Every morning it was harder, waking up and leaving for your room. It was harder to be in the same room as him and behave like nothing was happening. He also deserved to know this. It wasn't fair at all. For him, nothing had changed and for you everything, you weren't on the same page anymore. You simply had to tell him the truth and because they say what.. you can do today, don't put off until tomorrow. You are going to tell him this today. Maybe it won't be too bad. Maybe he feels the same? He can hide like you do, because he also fears that you are not feeling the same. Maybe you were too optimistic, but it was better than stressing yourself more.

To your disappointment, Rhysand did not attend breakfast this morning, Mor said, that he quickly had to winnow to one of the Illyrian camps with Cassian. You cursed in your head, now you will have to wait until lunch at best. It was also possible that we would return later in the evening.. You focused on the meal before you, eating only a few bites and putting everything else away. “Are you feeling ill?” Morrigan, who was sitting next to you, asked with care in her voice. “No, don't worry. I am simply feeling quite full today.” You shrugged and drank your favorite tea from your favorite mug, which was present from Rhysand. It was responding to some inside joke between you two, you forgot a long time ago. “Hmm.. Are there any troubles in paradise?” She winked at you, clearly provoking you. You slightly punched her arm. “Don't say it like that aloud. I really regret saying this to you.” You were only whispering, because the last thing you were wishing for is for the whole Velaris to know about this situation between you and their High lord. She laughed at you. “Calm down. Most of the people already know about your feelings for Rhysand. You are not that discrete as you think. Even Cassian noticed how lovingly you are watching Rhysand´s every move.” With a red face, you look at the wooden floor. “I am going to tell him.. how I feel. He deserves to know and I can't continue sleeping with him, it is hurting too much.” Morrigan shook her head. “Oh my dear Y/N.. I hope Rhys is feeling the same. You are perfect for each other. I honestly can't imagine anyone better than you standing beside him.” She hugged you tightly and you returned that hug. “Thank you..” It was nice to hear that, but thanks to her, you were only worrying more. And it was only because she said she is hoping that he is feeling the same, not that she is sure that he is feeling the same. Wouldn't she know something like that for sure? Maybe.. Maybe you were just overreacting.

As you were worried, Rhys returned home late in the evening. You were long done with your work and you also did some of his work, only because you wanted to help him. You bringed him a meal to his office, since he missed a time when you usually all have dinner together and then you were trying to get as much info as you could from Cassian. You wanted to know the reason for their sudden trip this morning and as you discovered, they had to deal with home Illyrian brutes who were trying to sabotage women training. This wasn't anything new, Rhys was trying to change their minds for a long time now, but they weren't listening. You knew that Rhysands mood was going to be affected by this, but you simply had to tell him about your feelings, because you were sure that if you didn't tell him tonight, you never would. You knocked twice on his doors and entered only after his voice asked you to. “Y/N.. You know you don't have to knock.” He looked gorgeous tonight. The buttons on his shirt were unzipped so you could see part of his strong chest. His eyes were shining like stars in the sky and his smile was so kind.. You shook your head, reminding yourself why you came here. “I have to speak with you.. If you have some time for me.” He grinned at you, showing off his perfect white teeths, “I always have time for you..” He patted on his lap “Why don't you come and sit? Then you can tell me anything you want.” You wanted nothing more than to go to him, sit on his lap, but you knew how that would end up. You would be on your knees, sucking him off in a few seconds or you would be riding him.. Or maybe he would throw of the table all his papers, put you on the top and of the table and fuck you there hard and fast.. Fuck. You were screwed. “I think it's better if I stay here.” This took him by surprise. He wasn't used to you refusing this offer. “As you wish.. I suppose this is some very important matter then..” He was looking at you, trying to guess what you wanted to tell him. “I love you.. I have been in love with you for some time now. And I am really sorry I didn't tell you sooner, I know I should have, but I was really scared. I am scared even now.” You inhaled, your voice was shaking a little. “But it is time for you to know this and it's time for us to stop sleeping together. I can't do it anymore, I enjoy it, but it's harder and harder everyday for me. It's hard to act like I see you as a friend, when I wish you could someday be more than that.”

It was out. You offered your feelings to him on a silver plate. Your hands were sweating so much that you had to wipe them against the skirt of your dress. There was a silence, which was later interrupted by Rhysand's laugh. Confused, you blinked many times. He was still laughing and not stopping. You felt tears building in your eyes and you haven't even tried to fight them back. “This was a good joke. You and me.. You know I like you, as I like all my friends and I enjoy sleeping with you, but love.. You got me.” You knew that if he would look at you and see your expression before saying this, he would not say that. Rhys wasn't like this, he wouldn't hurt you on purpose. You knew that, but that did nothing to ease the pain that was crushing your heart right now. After Rhysand stopped laughing and finally looked at you again, his expression changed from amused to terrified. “Y/N.. I..” He understood what mistake he made immediately and was trying to apologize to you, but it was hard for him, he was in shock. You raised your hand to stop him from saying anything else. “Don't.. Don't apologize. Leave it be.” You turned your back at him, walked fast to the door, opened them, but before stepping out, you looked at him one more time. “As I said.. We are no longer doing anything similar to what we were doing the past few years. You don't own me anything, I mean it Rhys. I don't want an apology from you, the only thing I ask for is some time. I will gladly do all the work you will send me, I want to continue helping the Night court, but if it is possible, I ask for you to give me space and if you would need something from me.. Write me.” Please, don't come visit me. That was what you truly meant by it. Not giving him another chance to say something to you, you walked out of his office and ran into your room. There was already a bag waiting for you. You packed it after breakfast, exactly because of this scenario. You knew if this happened, you wouldn't want to stay here. Morrigan barged into the room without knocking. “Rhysand told me what happened. He is very sorry and worrying about you.” You ignored her words, not wanting to think about your High lord more today. “Can you winnow me please? I will stay with my friends in the Day court for a while.”

You spent the last month crying, sleeping, eating sweats and crying again. It was an endless circle. Mor was visiting you every other day, sometimes it was only her, but sometimes she came with Azriel or Cassian, even Amren came to check on you. They were worried about you and trying everything to cheer you up, but nothing was working. They even tried to convince you to come back home with them and talk to Rhysand, who blamed himself apparently. Although you weren't glad to hear that, because he is not to blame for how he feels on the one hand, on the other, you still couldn't face him. And when your friends in the Day court assured you that you can stay as long as you need to, you continued refusing the offers to return to your home. And this time it wasn't different. “Y/N.. please. You really should come back home. I know it is hard, but you should talk to Rhys. He is regretting everything he said to you and he misses you terribly. We all miss you” You missed them too, they were visiting you often, but it wasn't the same. You missed breakfast and dinners you had together, you missed listening to Cassian as he was provoking Rhys and Azriel. You missed Velaris, the city you adored so much. And most importantly, you missed Rhysand. And that was the reason why you couldn't return, not yet. “I can't, Mor. Please, you have to understand..” Your voice was quiet, you were almost whispering. She sighed and looked at you with sadness in her eyes. “Okay.. I will not ask you again. Just.. try to think about it and when you are ready, tell me.” You offered her a small smile as a response. You weren't sure when you would be ready. In a month? Year? When will your feelings go away? Or rather, when they will be small enough for you to ignore them? Why was letting this go so hard for you? You were feeling silly. They were sure many women who were having a crush on your High lord. Why do your feelings for him grow so much? Morrigan was quiet, sitting here with you as you were trying to collect your thoughts. “Can you give Rhys a message from me? Please..” Her face lit up a little bit, before she nodded. “Of course, what do you need me to tell him?” She was probably waiting for something like an invitation to meet somewhere and talk, but you had to disappoint her. “Ask him if he can send me some work.. I need to focus my mind on something else.” Although you told him you would like to continue working, he never sent you anything, probably only trying to be nice and give you time, but this wasn't good for you. Without any work, most of the time it was only you and your broken heart, nothing else. Maybe someone could use this as an opportunity to fully concentrate on healing, but you were enduring this for a whole month and it was no help. You need to try focusing on work, so you could start focusing on other things, step by step. “Hmm.. I will tell him about this.” Your blonde friend promised you and you thanked her. No longer after this, you said goodbye and she disappeared into the thin air.

Another week passed and after that another one and another and before you knew it, it was the week before Starfall. Your most favorite holiday, you absolutely adore it and you were very excited every year, who wouldn't? It was this holiday, which finally convinced you to return to Velaris. Well, only for one night. When you told Morrigan about this, she was happy, almost jumping like a small child. She, and all your friends were glad that you were finally feeling better. You weren't crying anymore, you were eating normally again, sometimes you went out and were wandering around the city in the Day court where you were living for a few months now. You still had feelings for Rhysand, honestly, they weren't any smaller than before, but you learnt how to ignore them and be happy again. You were worried about meeting Rhysand again, because the only contact you had with him was thanks to work he started slowly sending you. He tried to contact you, sometimes you found a note on top of the papers he send you, where he was asking you to meet and talk to him, you answered him only once and since then you've been giving all messages from Rhysand to Morrigan, who you've asked to read them for you and give them to you only if there's something important about work. Maybe you were too cruel to him, you knew he hadn't done anything bad to you at all, but you need a break from him. A break you were stopping now. You were hoping that tonight would go smoothly, because in that case, you were determined to slowly start visiting Velaris more and more, before you would return for good. As you nodded and approved this plan of yours, you heard knocking on the door. You opened them and found Morrigan, who came to winnow you to the house. “Y/N you look absolutely breathtaking.” She complimented and winked at you as you giggled. “ My dear friend, you are too kind to me.” You were wearing a dark blue dress with a slit on our right side. The only thing that was decorating your dress was a belt made of small diamonds, which was placed around your waist. You wore matching jewelry with this belt. Your makeup was done to perfection, just as you like it, same with your hair. “I am not too kind, I am simply telling the truth.” She argued with you, but waved her hand “We can argue about it late tonight if you wish, but I am too hungry for this right now. Let's go, before Cassian eats everything.”

The house was decorated like every year at this time. You could smell the sweet scent of gingerbreads and hot chocolate. After admiring beautiful decorations, you realized how much you truly missed this place, your home. “Thank you for coming.. It would be sadder without you.” You heard Morrigan whispering to you. “I thank you for.. helping me.” You squeezed her hand gently, before heading to the dining room with her coming after you. There they were. At first, you saw Cassian was already a little bit drunk and telling Amren some stupid jokes, she was rolling her eyes at. They were being watched by Azriel, who was drinking a glass of red wine. “Hello everyone! Look who is hereee!” You wanted to punch Morrigan because of her shouting, which nearly caused you to go deaf, but before you had a chance, Cassian ran to you and hugged you tightly. “Finally someone normal who I can talk with.” You returned the hug and raised your eyebrow. “You mean someone who is too polite to tell you to fuck of, when you are telling them your dumb jokes?” You laughed at Amren's comment a little. “Yeah, this feels more like typical Starfall.” You said turning to Morrigan, as Cassian started arguing with your ancient friend and also Azriel, who was defending her. “Yeah, I can't agree more.” She nodded, walked past you to her place at the table. Now there were only two free left and they were next to each other, for you and Rhysand. Did they did this on purpose? You didn't have time to curse them silently because you heard a familiar voice behind you.

“It's nice to see you again, Y/N.” You bit your lips, knowing very well who was standing behind you and talking to you. “Hi.. It's nice to be here again.” You managed to gather every bit of strength in you and turned to face the most handsome male you have ever seen, although he was looking slightly different than before. His hair seemed more messy, he had something you would describe as a sad expression on his face. Maybe you should talk to him before coming here. Feeling of regret washed over you. His purple eyes were studying your face intensively, not looking away for a second, not blinking. You noticed that your heart was once again beating faster than usual, this was a typical response from your body to his presence. Cursing in your head, you tried to smile at him. “I think we should.. sit?” You gestured to two free chairs, not waiting for his response and walking to one of them. Before you could pull it away from the table and sit, someone did it for you, Rhys. You nodded your head at him, as silent thanks and turned to the table, which was full of food. As you wish everyone to enjoy their food, you dig into it yourself, eating quietly, most of the time. You were listening to others, as they were joking, telling each other stories about previous Starfalls. Cassian was currently telling Amren about the first time we celebrated Starfall with Azriel, Rhys and his mother and sister, when Rhysand spoke to you. “I know this isn't the right time, but can we talk? Please..” He wasn't talking aloud, you heard his voice in your head. During your time away from him, you almost forgot about his daemati powers. “Perhaps we should.” You responded, not happy so much that you were doing this, but also knowing this was necessary. He seemed relieved you hadn't told him to back off. “I am sorry. I know this doesn't help anything at all, but please believe me, that I didn't know. I didn't know you were speaking seriously. I didn't know about your feelings for me.” His voice was desperate and you shook your head a little. “Rhys, there is nothing I have to forgive you. It's not your fault how you feel. Don't apologize, really.” You reached for a glass of wine, drinking it entirely, to survive this night, you would need many more. There was a little pause between you two, before he spoke again “I missed you, terribly. I miss our time together and I am not talking about the time we were sleeping together. I miss joking around with you. I miss you coming to my office, bringing me dinner because I forgot, again..” You felt like your head was spinning. You felt your feelings for him crawling out from the cage where you locked them. “Stop. Please.. Don't give me hope your feelings have changed so much.” This was too good to be true. Thinking he was just trying to make you happy, thinking that he was saying those things out of pity, you simply couldn't trust him. “They haven't changed. I simply acknowledge them.” You didn't respond to him, you didn't know what. You wanted to believe him, more than anything else, but you were too scared. Scared that you would again end up broken and it gave you too much work to put yourself together. You continued eating food on your plate, trying to ignore the male sitting next to you for the rest of the dinner.

After the dinner, the real fun began. Morrigan started drinking more wine in Cassian's and Azriel's company. They all were laughing and you with them, while ignoring the piercing gaze of Rhysand, who was not far away with Amren, passionately talking about something. “We need more wine.. Rhysieee!” Cassian whimpered and stood up from the sofa. If it wasn't for Azriel catching him, he would have been lying on the ground by now. Although they both had problems with walking. Thai is going to be an interesting night, you thought to yourself. “I think you too had enough, for now.” Amren looked at them with furrowed brows. “Oh don't be a party killer. They are fine, we all are!” Only now did you notice that Morrigan had already managed to get up and was now walking to the Rhys's wine cellar. You quickly got up and held her by hand. “I think it will be better, if I go here.. I have a strong feeling you would stay up there and get drunk more then you already are. You patted her hand gently and escorted her to the couch. After you were sure she was sitting and not going anywhere, you went to look for some wine. It was not only an opportunity to save your friends from falling off the stairs, it was also an opportunity to get away from Rhys for a while. If only you knew that he followed you almost immediately. You were holding two bottles and thinking, if you should take the third one upstairs too, when you felt his presence right behind you. His strong chest was pressing against your back. “I am not saying I don't deserve it.. But you are torturing me.” His voice was smooth and there was something urgent in it. You sighed and picked up the third bottle, because it will come in handy. “I don't know what you are talking about.” His hand traveled to your hips, squeezing you gently. “Yes you know. I know you feel this too.” His lips brushed against your ear. Why hadn't you pulled away yet? You definitely should, but it was too nice, feeling his warmth, his hand. “Y/N I am really sorry for what I said. I really shouldn't say that, but now, I understand you. I understand what feelings you were talking about. I feel a bond.. that bound me to you. Please.. Give us a chance.” Tears started building up in your eyes as he turned you to face him. He kissed them all away from your cheeks. You already put the wine away and took his face in your hands. “I feel it too. I always had..” You admitted quietly. “But I am scared.. Are you sure about this? About what do you feel? I don't want you to say this only because you pity me.” You told him about your concerts, looking away, only for him to gently lift your chin and make you look at him. “Is this really what do you think?” Your silence answered him perfectly. “I am not surprised you do not believe me fully yet and certainly I don't blame you, but I mean this. It was never my intention to hurt you and I plan to make it up to you for the rest of my life, if you will let me.. You don't have to answer me right now. I will wait for you for a thousand years or more, if you need that. ” He wasn't pushing you into anything, but you already knew your answer. His words were honest, his eyes were telling you he was determined to keep his promise and love you for eternity. You didn't need anything else, so you simply kissed him and you put everything into that kiss. Your sadness, happiness, fear and most importantly, love for him. He was surprised at first, but he managed to come to his senses quickly and returned that kiss, with the same passion as you.

#acotar #acotar fanfiction #acotar imagine #acotar series #a court of thorns and roses #a court of mist and fury #a court of wings and ruin #rhys x reader #rhysand x reader #rhysand imagine #rhysand fanfic #rhysand #morrigan #azriel #cassian #acotar x reader

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before-it-felt-like-a-sin · 2 months

Note

Ok, how about Natalie X reader, the scene where they find the lake, but reader is too self conscious to strip down in front of everyone and go for a swim?

Pretty Girls

Anon this is a lovely request but imma be so Fr I can't remember the exact dialogue so enjoy my bullshit <3

Warnings: insecure reader, mentions of body image issues, no smut but a bit of a heated make out, not proofread and also written on my phone <3

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"I found a lake," Taissa announced as she returned from her hike,"It's about four miles from here. We should hike it."

"We aren't leaving. What if the rescue team comes?" Jackie responded, clearly annoyed.

"I hate to break it to you, but it's been three days. They aren't coming, and we're running out of water. We need to head to the lake." Taissa's voice was firm.

Secretly, you agreed with Tai, but you weren't going to get in the middle of this argument. The last thing you needed was Jackie pissed at you. There was enough division as it was.

"We should put it to a vote," Jackie announced. So much for no more division, "All for staying here, raise your hands."

Three people agreed. Jackie, Lottie, and Laura Lee all raised their hands.

"Okay, all for heading to the lake?" Taissa asked now, and nearly all of the group put up their hands. Even Shauna, which was shocking. Who knew she'd go against Jackie like that.

"Looks like we're heading to the lake. Get your shit." Wit that, everyone began packing up any belongings not already in their suitcases.

About twenty minutes later, you all were ready to start your hike. You fell into step beside Lottie as you walked.

"Hey. I know you didn't want to do this," you said.

"Honestly, I was more worried about Jackie's reaction than actually leaving the plane." Lottie smiled at you. You laughed lightly in response.

The two of you walked in silence for a while, listening to everyone chatter on and on. A few girls had started complaining, and you heard Jackie say something about how Tai must have been wrong about the distance from the crash site.

That's when Van saw the lake.

"Hell yeah bitches!" She exclaimed, jumping up and down. Soon, everyone was racing down to the water, stripping off tee shirts and shorts. You hung back, not entirely wanting everyone to see your bare stomach.

"You don't want to swim?" Natalie spoke softly into your ear. You jumped at the unexpected closeness. The two of you hadn't really had time to spend together since the crash.

Your relationship to Natalie was a complicated one. You had began hanging out with her because Van and Tai had started spending more time with each other, leaving the two of you with each other. You'd had a crush on Natalie for a while, and you enjoyed spending time with her. Recently, though, she'd begun to flirt with you. Nothing major, just jokes about how pretty you were, or messing with your hair, or good-natured teasing about your interests. You weren't entirely clear on where you stood.

"Just not totally sure how I feel about stripping in front of everyone." You laughed as you spoke, as if trying to convince both Natalie and yourself that it really was a joke. Even if you knew it wasn't.

"You afraid they'll stare?" She teased.

"Yeah, actually. Just not for the reason you think." You giggled again, but it was harder to be convincing this time.

"Hey, if you're set on not swimming, that's fine. But no one is going to judge you for the way you look. I think we've moved past that point."

"Yeah, well, the rest of you have been changing in front of each other for ages. This kind of thing is new to me."

"Whatever you say, gorgeous. I'm swimming. You should too. I know I wouldn't judge you." She smirked at you in a way that made heat rise to your cheeks.

"Mm. And you've also never seen me naked, so I don't think you can say that yet."

"Okay, y/n." With that, she walked to the edge of the lake, stripping her shirt and pants as she walked across the pebbles.

You didn't stare. You in fact made a point not to stare. But it seemed that as soon as you looked up at her, she moved her head to catch you looking. She smiled at you, and nodded her head toward the lake.

As you looked back at her, you rolled your eyes and shook your head. There was no way you were getting in that water. The whole team didn't need to see your stomach and stretch marks.

Well... maybe you'd take off your shirt. You had a sports bra on. That was full coverage enough, right? Plus, your jeans had a high waist on them. Not much would be on display.

Cautiously, you peeled off your t-shirt, hoping no one would notice. Or care. As you shook your hair free from the confines of the fabric, you felt eyes on you.

In the middle of the lake, you caught Natalie staring at you this time. When she saw that you caught her, she averted her eyes. But something about her eyes on you made you feel good.

Not good enough to take your pants off, but you'd take what you could get.

You balled up your shirt and put it down on the rocky beach so you'd be able to lie down. If nothing else, you were going to enjoy the sun. Maybe not in the same way as everyone else, but you were going to enjoy it.

You lay in the sun for a bit, letting it warm you and only worrying a little bit about the sun damage that was occurring to you. You survived a damn place crash. Cancer seemed so irrelevant now.

It was nice, you thought, that even after what had happened, you were all able to have fun like this.

"Y/n! Get your ass in here!" Van called.

"No!" You yelled back, laughing.

"Lame ass," she responded.

"That's me." With that, you went back to your sunbathing and daydreaming. The only thing that would make this better would be-

"What the fuck!" You exclaimed, dripping water. Somehow, someone had managed to dump a whole bucket of water on you.

You looked up to see it was Van and Taissa. You'd expected Van, but Tai was a low blow. Although, best friends would do that kind of shit to you.

"Taissa Turner I swear to god. I could kill you right now." Your hair was soaked, your mascara was running, and your pants... well, wet jeans aren't ever the move.

"Now you have to swim," Van said, clearly not sensing your anger.

"No, now I have to fucking change out of one of the few pieces of clothing that's actually clean. Thanks for that."

"Whoa, sorry. We didn't think you'd be upset about it. We just wanted you to have fun." Taissa looked at you apologetically. You found yourself forgiving them almost immediately. They were just trying to get you to have fun. There hadn't been much of that lately.

"Still a little pissed at you. But it's fine. I'll just change." You started getting up to find your suitcase.

"Or... hear us out... you come swim with us. It'll be fun." Van looked at you expectantly, hoping you'd say yes.

Maybe...

No. You couldn't. What if they stared at you. What if Natalie stared at you. What if she saw you in your underwear and decided she was done flirting with you.

"Y/n, come on. We all know each other here. No need to be a prude," Van teased.

"Oh, well in that case." You rolled your eyes.

"You know you want to." Taissa poked your shoulder. And she was right. You did want to swim. You just didn't want to swim in front of everyone.

But it would feel so nice. And you'd be able to wash away some of the dirt and sweat from the last few days. Maybe you'd feel less... disgusting.

"Fine." You began to peel off your wet jeans.

Deep breaths, you thought, as the warm spring air hit your thighs. No one was looking at you. Right? Well, except Taissa and Van. But they'd seen you change before. You surveyed the rest of the team. No one was looking at you. Except-

Natalie.

Goddammit.

She just kept staring as you stripped down to your underwear. Luckily for you, you were wearing something full coverage.

The way she was looking at you was almost hungry, like she was drinking in your entire body. Nothing would take her eyes off you.

This was it. This was when she decided all the flirting was over. She didn't like the way you looked under the sweaters and baggy pants. She-

Was walking towards you. Out of the water. Away from everyone else.

"Tai-" you started, before you realized that she and Van had walked away. Shit. Shit shit shit.

Without thinking, you started walking towards the lake. The sooner you were submerged, the better. And you really didn't want to talk to Natalie when you were this exposed.

As you passed Natalie, you wrapped your hand around her wrist and drug her along with you.

"Come on. We're swimming. You can't get out as soon as I decide to get in." She doesn't resist as you pull her behind you, back into the lake.

"Whatever you say. I'm glad you decided to get in."

"Well, Taissa thought it was a good idea to dump water all over me. I would've had to change in front of everyone anyways. Might as well suck it up and get into the water while I'm at it."

"I told you no one would stare." She smirked and pushed the water toward you, splashing you a bit.

"Mm. Someone was staring," you responded, trying to get her to tell you why she had looked at you the way she did.

"Who?" She asked. You couldn't tell if she really didn't know who you were talking about, or if she was feigning innocence.

"Um. You?" You replied, looking at her with a quizzical look on your face.

"That was because I wanted to see if you were really going to swim. Not to judge you."

"Oh, yeah, sure. Whatever you say."

"Did you want me to be judging you? Because I wouldn't do that. To anyone. But especially you. You're like, really pretty or whatever."

"Really pretty or whatever? Such a romantic, Scatorccio." With as much force as you can, you splash her.

After she recovers from the shock of the water being splashed in her face, she looks at you with a challenge.

"No Nat please I didn't-"

Before you could finish your sentence, finish apologizing, she shoved you under the surface of the lake. You didn't have time to do much, except inhale right before she pushed you down.

When you resurfaced, the first thing you heard was her laughter.

"Wow. That was a bit excessive," you said, once you had caught your breath. She was still giggling.

"Had to retaliate somehow." She shrugged, but she did look slightly apologetic.

"Asshole."

"It's how I show my love."

"Awww, you love me?" You mocked.

"Oh, fuck off."

You just laughed at her.

She was doing it again. Staring at you. Subconsciously, you tried to cover yourself up with your arms. It didn't really have the desired effect.

"You're gorgeous," she said, eyes still on you.

"You don't have to say that." You tried to be nonchalant, but you felt your cheeks heating up.

"I'm not just saying that." She moved closer to you. When she reached you, she gently moved your arms out of the way of your body, leaving you more exposed than you'd like.

She looked at you straight in the eyes. Something about it made your knees weak. There was so much love in her face. She was looking at you like you were the only girl in the world.

"I want to kiss you so bad," she whispered in your ear. You shivered at the closeness.

"Maybe not in front of everyone," you whispered back.

"Embarrassed of me?" She joked.

"No," you laughed, "I just hate PDA"

"I have an idea then." She beckoned for you to follow her out of the lake.

You walked behind her as she led you across the beach. The only person that seemed to notice you was Taissa, and she just smiled as you passed.

Natalie continued to lead you to the edge of the woods, in a place just secluded enough. You could still hear everyone, but they wouldn't be able to see you.

Before you knew it, you were pressed up against a tree, the bark scratching your bare back.

"Can I kiss you?" Natalie asked, brushing your hair out of your eyes.

You nodded, and as soon as she got your consent, her mouth was on yours. Her lips were slightly chapped, and you appreciated the roughness of them. But her movements were soft.

Her hands rested on your hips, and her fingers were cold. Her lips felt too good on yours for you to care. You tangled your fingers into her damp hair, pulling her closer.

She pulled away for a moment to whisper to you.

"Do you believe me about you being gorgeous now?" She asked, looking at you with her pupils blown out and lips puffy from kissing.

You laughed, "I guess."

Seemingly satisfied with your response, she went back to kissing you. But now, she was kissing any inch of skin available to her. Your forehead. Your jawline. Your ear. Your neck. She didn't go any lower than that, which you appreciated. You weren't sure how ready you were for anything more. Especially in the woods.

"Y/n? Natalie?" You heard Tai's voice from a distance. "Lottie saw something. We're going to go see what it is. Come back, please."

With that, Natalie looked at you again, eyes full of hunger and want.

"Do this again later?"

#yellowjackets #yellowjackets showtime #yellowjackets season 1 #natalie scatorccio #natalie yellowjackets #natalie scatorccio x reader #natalie scatorccio x curvy! reader #natalie scatorccio x fem reader #natalie scatorccio x you #natalie scatorccio x y/n #natalie scatorccio headcanons #teen natalie scatorccio #teen natalie #natalie Scatorccio x insecure reader

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jesterwriting · 6 months

Note

(for that timeloop post,, uhm this relates to the whole body horror thing ((not too much just a brief mention)) so if rn u don't wanna see that SCROLL AWAY!!! OR DELETE ME!! OK disclaimer ends here)

oh man but what if Law did say room anyway and there were impossible scars on your insides... like littered everywhere, they're not fresh but old, almost phantoms that make no sense, because if they were real you would've died. how would he react to that? maybe not when he noticed them crying but after weeks or months, dunno, where they keep skipping his more thorough check-ups (where he uses his devil fruit) since they're anxious about the pains? and think that somehow there are signs of their previous deaths and the mention of them makes it hurt more and more and they just can't do it. but they can't bring themselves to say it because who could possibly believe them? if Law doesn't, it would just feel even worse, won't it? even if they understand his point of view. maybe they even die in front of him and it gets harder to just hold all of that in,,, oh boy. if you think about continuing your oneshot i'll eat it like a starving animal!

pairing: law x gn!reader

contents: slight body horror, slight gore, timeloops, suicide done to restart the loop, hurt/comfort, happy ending,

word count: 1.6k words

note: OHHHHH I LOVED THIS IDEA OH MY GOD. absolutely so smart. anon your mind is huge and i had so much fun doing this request. <33 i really hope you enjoy :33

playlist: caribou - tanya tagaq

a sister fic to this

This had never happened before. You had experienced hundreds of loops, maybe even thousands, and this was the first time Law saw fit to scan you with his Devil Fruit.

Maybe you were getting sloppy. You had a strong immune system so you never got sick, and the first time Law scanned you for your general checkup upon joining the crew, there was nothing of note. You wondered what changed, as if you hadn’t died more times since you joined his crew than you had in your entire life. Maybe it was because the more you suffered, the more reckless you became, throwing yourself into the fray with little regard for yourself. You could take a bullet for your crewmates, so you would. It was as simple as that.

There was a first time for everything, you supposed. A first death, a first breath, a first kill; there were uncountable firsts that one could experience, and you had experienced most of them.

Not this one, though.

You had tried to avoid it for as long as possible. Your captain was a man who carried burdens, ones almost as heavy as the ones on your shoulders. If he knew how many times he failed you — or how many times you failed him — you knew he would take all the blame for himself. As if you hadn’t been the one lying, and fighting, and dying over the course of countless lifetimes.

Law blinked a few times before his brows furrowed and his eyes narrowed. You fidgeted under his stare. If his reaction was anything to go by, he found something horribly wrong with you. While you had experienced slow deaths before, you had never experienced what it felt like to waste away from disease. Maybe you’d find out this loop, you thought, trying to feel nonchalant about the idea and not like you were about to throw up.

“Um. What’s wrong,” You tried.

Law shushed you, the blue glow from his room still surrounding you. You bit your tongue, fingers playing with the hem of your shirt to try and take your mind off of whatever he could have found.

“This can’t be right,” He muttered, one hand cradling his chin. He pointed to your chest. “There’s a scar inside of you, it looks like a puncture wound through your lungs. When did that happen?”

Three loops ago when you fell off a building and onto some rebar. That was a particularly awful death. The last thing you remembered before everything went black was Law’s panicked expression as he tried to put you back together again. There was terror in his eyes. You tried not to think about that part.

“And here,” Law continued, pointing to your abdomen. “There’s a scar running across the length of your stomach. It almost looks as if you were previously disemboweled.”

You had been. Multiple times. It was a common and very disturbing loop ender that you tried to avoid if you could. Watching your organs fall out of you in a steaming heap was never something you liked to experience, but for some reason, your opponents kept aiming for the gut. You wished they’d aim for the heart or the head more often. At least then it’d be quick.

He didn’t stop there, jaw falling open when he stared directly where your heart was. “When were you stabbed, Y/N-ya, this looks recent.” Law blinked a few times before realization dawned on his features. His eyes shot to your face, expression going from open to unreadable in seconds. “How did you survive without my intervention?”

Your mouth was dry. How were you supposed to respond? There was no way you could tell him that you had died on his watch more times than you could count. Law didn’t deserve that. Your captain was a good man, one you loved admired far too much to allow this to weigh him down. He would take your failures to heart, completely discounting the amount of times that he had saved you from having to start anew.

You must have been quiet for too long because Law was speaking again. “Answer me.”

“It’s from a long time ago,” You said.

That was a lie. It was from the previous loop. A quick death by your own hand over the cold corpse of your captain. If Law didn’t survive, there was no point in continuing, and if there was one thing you had grown accustomed to, it was taking your own life after one loss too many. You knew how to make it quick, no suffering. So with a precise hand, you drove your knife into your chest and let the timeline begin anew.

When you saw Law again, whole and alive, you vomited. You were under the impression that he believed that you simply ate some bad seafood, but from the concern that was slowly etching its way onto his features, you weren’t so sure of that now.

“Don’t lie to me.” Law’s eyes flashed, barely contained frustration needling at the corners of him. “None of this makes any sense, half of these injuries should have killed you. The other half would have needed to be treated.”

The truth sat on the tip of your tongue. You felt selfish and needlessly cruel for your desire to tell Law what was really happening. Your eyes burned, and their glassy sheen didn’t go unnoticed. Law handed you a tissue, expression softening.

“I- um.” You hated how your voice cracked. It had been a long time since you told someone about your Devil Fruit. You always died, and they always forgot. For a long time, you thought it was better that way, carrying this weight on your own. The way Law looked at you, though, it made you want to pour your soul out to him. Every pain, every loss, every death lain at his feet, and for once, you could stand unburdened. “It’d be wrong of me to tell you.”

Law’s eyebrows knit together. “Now you’re being stupid.”

“No, I’m not. You’ll regret asking once you know. Don’t pretend like you don’t carry the weight of the world on your shoulders, you don’t deserve my troubles on top of that. It’s better for both of us if you just forget what you saw.”

With that, you stood and made to brush past Law and out of the room. He grabbed you by the shoulder, not allowing you to go any farther. Though his grip was firm, it didn’t hurt. If you really wanted to, you could wrench yourself away from him.

“You’re trembling.”

Your lower lip wobbled, your resolve ebbing away by the second. “It’s complicated.”

“So tell me.” Law’s lips twitched upwards ever so slightly. “Doctor’s orders.”

You let out a small huff. He didn’t deserve this, but there would always be another loop. This current one hadn’t been going so well, and by your estimation, it would take at least three more before you managed to reach your next checkpoint. It wouldn’t hurt to tell Law what he inevitably wouldn’t remember. You steadied yourself with a deep breath and turned to face him, his eyes met yours with a mix of concern and exasperation.

“It’s my Devil Fruit,” You started. Law leaned back on his heels and crossed his arms, attention solely on you. Your heart thundered in your chest. “I’ve died so many times.” Without your permission, your breath hitched. Law’s hand encircled your own with a small squeeze, encouraging you to continue. “It, um, brings me back, I guess. I’ll die, and then wake up in the bunkhouse days earlier, and I’ll be the only one who remembers what happened. All those scars you saw were what killed me in a previous loop.”

He was silent while he chewed on his words.

“How many times have you died since you joined my crew,” Law finally asked.

Your hand was still in his and you gave it a squeeze. “That’s not fair. I know what you’re doing and I won’t let you do it.”

Law’s shoulders slumped as he brought his free hand to pinch the bridge of his nose. “I believe you. It explains a lot. I noticed you cry in your sleep sometimes.”

“You watch me sleep?” The tips of Law’s ears were tinged pink while you laughed.

“I was worried so I checked on you.” With a sigh, he began to lead you out of the clinic to his office. “Come on, you’re telling me everything you can remember. We’re going to come up with a plan.”

Humoring him, you followed close on his heels. It didn’t matter how long or how hard you planned, there was no accounting for the unpredictability of the universe. This comfort wouldn’t last long. Soon, you would be dead again and the cycle would start anew. That didn’t mean you couldn’t enjoy sharing a space with your captain, listening to him meticulously craft tactics to keep you, and everyone else, alive.

It wasn’t until four days later you found yourself breathing, though covered head to toe in blood, with the rest of the crew. Everyone was safe and sound, and Law wouldn’t stop looking at you with a smirk on his face. When you found yourself next to him, he bumped his shoulder against yours.

“I told you my plan would work.”

Just like that, for the first time in your life, you were no longer alone.

#one piece x reader #trafalgar law x reader #trafalgar law x yn #trafalgar law x you #.jesterwrites #rezero fans you know whats up

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iwritenarrativesandstuff · 1 year

Text

Ok no let me explain you a thing.

I can't take it. I literally can't take this moment without making a sound somewhere in the back of my throat. It's the cutest thing ever and it's this frame here that makes it.

Look, I know this is Wan. I know Wan isn't really canon and this is the preschool episode so it's even less so. But there's something in here that is an absolutely canon thing Akutagawa does.

The scene starts off with Akutagawa's typical reverence and excitement that Dazai is sitting near him. Nothing particularly notable there. But then Dazai gets excited by what's going on and Akutagawa gives him this look and I just can't take it man.

Because that's a genuinely fond look. He's happy for him. He's happy Dazai is enjoying himself.

And that's not just a Wan thing. He says along those lines to Kyouka in one of my all-time favourite BSD scenes in general.

It just. I just have a lot of feelings about that. This is a guy who, we know from Heartless Cur and the beginning of Beast, has very little in the way of emotion - but when he does feel, it's rather all-encompassing, even overwhelmingly strong. Things like rage and desperation. It's raw survival instinct.

But then he has. This too.

Here's the thing. In the preschool chapter, silly as it is, Dazai is still fixated on suicide. He has the noose, just doesn't speak about it openly. So, it's probably quite rare that Dazai shows genuine enjoyment the way he did here - and that's worth that small smile.

In the main universe, Akutagawa remembers how Kyouka hated herself to the point of asking to be killed, then sees how fierce she is about defending her new life and self, and decides that he's glad for her.

It really means something to me that one of the very few relational emotions he allows himself to feel is happiness and pride on others' behalf.

It roots itself less in compassion or happiness itself and more in a sense of respect... but remember that Akutagawa hardly gives his respect easily. He gives his respect only to those he considers strong, and in nearly every battle, he finds himself disappointed. What he wants is kind of contradictory - he wants a worthy opponent, so someone who poses a strong challenge to him to prove his own worth as one who will never be weak again... and yet, when they lose against him, he's often disappointed they did not succeed or fight harder, and looks down on them.

Atsushi's motive, or what he initially thinks his motive is, is disappointing to him at first - Akutagawa believes he is trying to prove himself as worthy of living through someone else's acceptance and berates him for it. But that's... exactly what he has been doing. Later on, he continues to question Atsushi for his motives, in yet another of one of my favourite scenes.

He asks him over and over - "why?" And is not satisfied until Atsushi reveals that he's also looking to get rid of the shadow of the orphanage director that follows him like a haunting - that trauma? All that pain thrown in his face? He is fighting to overcome it. He is fighting via proof and change because Atsushi wants to live, and to not have to feel ashamed of that. And that's what it took for Akutagawa to trust him and respect him enough to transfer Rashoumon to him.

I think, on some level, Akutagawa is invested in seeing whether Atsushi will succeed in this. And I think, in spite of everything between them, he will be glad for him if he does.

I just really love this aspect to his character, because while he searches for strength in violence and power and physical skill, it means on a deeper level, he actually sees joy and resistance in the face of despair as true strength that's worth acknowledging.

I want him so badly to accept that as true strength within himself in the main timeline.

I also love it because Beast confirms that Akutagawa would do anything for his sister and I am now free to imagine Gin telling her brother all the things she was learning and how she was slowly connecting to the Black Lizard and feeling overwhelming pride for her but not really expressing that but Gin knowing that's how he felt regardless, anyways that is all

Is this even coherent anymore? Oh well.

#me making an analysis that reads too much into wan number 28746837 #sorry but it drives me crazy and i needed to spew #bsd #bsd meta #...i guess.#bsd akutagawa #bsd dazai #bsd kyouka #bsd atsushi #bsd gin #storyrambles

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bedsyandco · 7 months

Text

frozen four

note: it's time for luke to leave for Jersey so it's time to say goodbye

Luke was devastated after the frozen four loss. All the guys were, but Luke especially because everything was about to change. Luke had said goodbye to all the guys already, being set to leave the arena. The only person he still had to see was Violet. Nothing could’ve prepared Luke for how much this would hurt. Even though he knows he’s not saying goodbye forever, the idea of going to live in another state while he leaves her in Michigan, just feels wrong.

He takes a moment to just observe her where she was standing and talking to his mom. Brown waves hanging down her back and he smiles at the sleeves of his jersey rolled up about five times around her wrists.

“Hey you,” she says when he wraps his arms around her waist from behind, burying his face in her neck and tightening his arms around her, squeezing tight.

“Mom you mind giving us a moment?” Luke asks and Ellen simply sends Violet a small, sad smile kissing both of them on the head before giving them some space.

"Do you remember the summer of freshman year? We had talked about you coming to the lake house but then your parents surprised you with a trip to Italy. I was so sad," Luke says, and Violet loops her arms around his neck and she turns around to look at him.

"So was I. I remember I asked my mom if we could leave Daxton at home and take you instead. She wasn't very impressed by that suggestion." Violet says and she smiles when she sees him laugh.

"Those three weeks were the longest we've ever been apart. Even in the summers after that, we've never been apart longer than 21 days. I don't know how I'm gonna survive not having you there with me," Luke says, and she presses a kiss over his heart, resting her chin on his chest and looking at him.

"It's only gonna be a little while, and then you'll be back in Michigan for the summer. I'm so proud of you, Luke. Everything you've accomplished at the program and at Michigan and everything you're gonna accomplish in Jersey. My little superstar. You inspire me every day," she says softly, and Luke can't speak, his throat tight with emotion, so he just kisses her forehead.

Luke doesn’t say anything for a minute, just tracing the “L” against her collarbone before asking, "You wanna get in my suitcase?"

"I totally would but I just finished packing it and there's no way I'm unpacking all of that,"

"You're gonna watch when I play my first game right?" Luke asks

"Is that even a question…I'm your number 1 fan Lukey, of course I'm gonna watch."

"You know that I love you right?" Luke asks and her heart beats a little faster.

"You're the most important woman in my life, the most important person really, tied with my mom of course," he continues and her eyes tear up.

"I love you too, more than you know." she says, a lot more than he knows.

"Don't cry baby," he says, kissing her tears away but that just makes her cry harder.

"I'm gonna miss you," violet says, and he cups both her cheeks gently, laying a little kiss on her red nose.

"I already miss you, but I'm gonna see you soon, okay? I'm gonna be back in a few weeks and it'll be like I never left," Luke says, pulling her into a big hug.

"We have to go Luke," Ellen says from a few feet away, not wanting to interrupt but knowing there wasn't any more time to give you.

“You sure you don’t want me to come with you to the airport?” violet asks and luke nods

“I won’t be able to leave if you come with me. Having you there would just make it harder to leave. Which is crazy, because I can’t imagine it getting any harder to leave than it is right now,” luke says, letting out a shuddering breath and violet wipes her tears. it’s to no use though because as soon as she wipes them, new ones just replace them.

“You’re killing me here Vi. Gonna need you to stop crying or I won’t be able to walk away,” Luke says and Violet tilts her head back, letting out a deep breath

“I’m so happy for you Luke,” she says, failing at stopping her tears

“Yeah, I’ve never seen you happier,” Luke replies dryly and she giggles

“We have to go Luke,” Ellen says softly and Luke nods, ever so gently wiping violet’s tears with his thumbs and pecking her face all over.

“I love you,” violet says again softly and luke rests his forehead on hers, wanting to hear the words again. to feel them. to taste them.

“I love you,” Luke replies, gently touching his nose to hers and she smiles slightly which is a huge win in luke’s book

all around them people are watching, even some of the guys that came out of the locker room

“man this is depressing,” ethan says and dylan nods, agreeing

“I’ve never seen Violet cry this much,” dylan says

“I’ve never seen Violet at all. it’s kinda scary actually,” Mark says

violet detaches herself from Luke and walks over to dylan’s side, resting her head on his shoulder as they watch luke walk out of the arena.

violet doesn’t wanna be alone, so she sneaks into Dylan’s hotel room that night, and they watch secretariat together, unable to recount the hundreds of time they’ve watched this movie with luke.

later when violet has cried so much her eyes has swollen shut, Dylan's phone vibrates, and he picks it up seeing a text from Luke.

"Take care of my girl. Love you guys."

#⋆ ˚｡⋆୨ violet + luke ୧⋆ ˚｡⋆

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orcasoul · 8 months

Text

Oh Baby!

Summery: Pedro Pascal and reader are in a relationship. Pedro's career is sky rocketing and reader also has a demanding job. Throw in an unexpected pregnancy and well...... shit!

Warnings: Swearing, Pedro being and not being an asshole (you'll see). Use of Y/N.

Italics indicate inward thinking.

Gripping the edges of the bathroom sink, you take slow, deep breaths to steady your breathing, while your mind is going into overdrive. Your chest feels tight and your legs are like jelly. Slowly you raise your head to stare at you reflection in the mirror. You don't even feel like yourself right now, almost like you're having an out of body experience. Reality suddenly feels foreign to you, like you're trapped in a surreal dream. But this is no dream. It's real, oh it's definitely real. The two red lines on the four pregnancy tests sitting on the under sink cabinet can attest to that! "Shit," you mutter quietly, still looking at yourself in disbelief. "This can't be happening." It wasn't supposed to happen . You'd been on the pill for two years and always used extra protection if you had antibiotics. You were always so careful, but careful obviously wasn't careful enough. How would you even begin to tell Pedro that you're carrying his baby? How would he react? Your mind keeps replaying one specific interview of his you'd seen. "I don't even have kids. And I'm not gonna!" His words exactly.

He'd mentioned to you once that his hectic work schedule doesn't allow time for kids, and honestly it wasn't high on your priority list either. Your job as an editor is very demanding and sometimes trickles into your home life. Both you and Pedro had grown accustom the stresses and scarifies you've both had to make over the past couple of years when it comes to your jobs, but you'd both made it work and were happy and comfortable together. But adding a baby into the mix just seemed impossible. You try to remember your last period but you'd been so busy with work lately that you hadn't even noticed you'd missed..... shit, two! Two periods. It was only the past few days of constant queasiness and dizzy spells that led you to suspect what you'd hoped wouldn't be true. But here you are, the "truth" staring right back at you. "Oh my god," you whimpered while rubbing your hands over your face, "Fuck, what now?!"

You try your best to keep it together but you can't contain the rush of different emotions that are encompassing you at this moment and the tears begin to fall. It's exhausting trying to process everything you're feeling; fear and uncertainty but also a gravitation and protectiveness you've never felt before. This baby was certainly not planned and you couldn't deny that you wished the tests were negative, but knowing that it's definitely there has awakened an instinct in you that has always been present but dormant, just waiting to be unleashed. How is it possible to want and not want it at the same time? Will Pedro want it? Will he be mad? Pedro had been away for two weeks filming for a new advert and had a photo shoot straight after so he'd be away for another two weeks, at least. You both video called each other every day. You'd always looked forward to it but the thought of today's impending call left your stomach in knots! There was no way you could tell him something so life changing over the phone. You'd just have to keep it yourself until he gets home and try your best to act normal when talking to him.

It turns out pretending nothing had changed wasn't that difficult for the next week. Maybe it was because of the distance and the fact that you could make up an excuse to end the call when your anxiety began to creep in. But in one week's time he'd be home and you know it'll be harder to act nonchalant around him, especially now that your lower belly has started to swell slightly. Slight enough that you could blame it on junk food if he noticed, but it's only going to get bigger. After a long day at work, you finally get to relax for the evening, settling down to watch one of your favourite shows. Leaning back into the settee you found yourself gently smoothing your palm over the curve of your abdomen, wondering just how much would change in the coming months and how Pedro would take the news. You still struggled to get your head around it yourself but now that you've had time to think, you know there's no way you'd get rid of it, no matter what happened. Well, I have one more week to figure out how I'm going to tell him, you ruminate..... or so you thought.

"Y/N I'm home." Pedro called out as the front door slammed shut. You shot up off the settee faster than a rocket as Pedro walked into the living room with a wide grin. You stood frozen to the spot as he dropped his bags and rushed over to you, picking you up in a tight hug. With the fervour of a man touch starved he kissed you as if he hadn't kissed you in years, deep and sultry. You instantly dissolve into his mouth, wrapping your arms around his neck. "Wow," you whispered breathlessly as you pull away to look into his eyes. "Missed me that much, huh?" You teasingly ask, trying to sound as though your heart isn't beating a million miles an hour. "What do you think?" he relied with a smirk, setting you back down. "How are you home so soon?" You hope your question did come across the wrong way. Of course you're thrilled that he's home. You always loved it when he returned home earlier than expected, and it happened so rarely that usually you'd be on cloud nine, but this one time you wished you had that week. A week where you could prepare for every eventuality. "We were ahead of schedule for once. I thought I'd surprise you instead of calling ahead." Your silent stare made Pedro chuckle, his soft eyes creasing at the corners. "That surprised, are you?"

You suddenly realise how off your reaction must seem to him and quickly collect yourself before he can think any more of it. "I just wasn't expecting you so soon. Great surprise though!" you smile genuinely as you tip toe to kiss the end of his nose. "I really missed you. How was it?" "Oh you know, early mornings, late nights, hours of hair and make up, retake after retake, blah blah blah....," Pedro trailed off while waving his hand in the air dismissively. "How have you been sweetheart?" He asked while stroking down the curve of your back. I've missed you like hell." "Yeah I've.... I've been fine. Works been fine." Your voice ever so slightly, nervously shook at his question, making you cringe inwardly but luckily he didn't seem to notice your change in tone. "Well, you go unpack and I'll make us something to eat," you offered, trying to keep your composure, even though you felt like a deer caught in headlights. As Pedro heads to the bedroom to unpack you hurry into the kitchen and pour a glass of water to quell your nerves. Not quite the same effect as alcohol, you huff inwardly.

You get to work preparing Chilean Avocado sandwiches, as it's one of Pedro's favourite foods. But after only a few seconds you are hit with a strong bought of nausea from the smell and lunge towards the sink, making it there just in time. After violently retching up what not only felt like the contents of your stomach, but also every organ in your body into the sink you are startled by a warm and gentle hand rubbing your back. "You okay, baby?" "Oh fuck!" You turn swiftly, wiping your mouth with a tea towel. "Uh... yeah... must be a virus or something. It's going around. My sister's kids had it last week." You hated lying to Pedro. Well, it was half a lie; Your nieces and nephew did have a bug last week but you know that this is definitely not a virus. Pedro looked at you with a creased brow, clearly concerned. "Why don't you go lie down? I'll take care of this," he suggested, looking over at the ingredients on the kitchen counter. When he realised you were making his one of his favourite's he turned to you with an adoring smile.

"Aww, you were making my favourite sandwich, thank you darling." "Anything for you, baby," you lovingly reply, pressing a kiss to his cheek. "I think I will go and lie down for a bit." you concede. "A bit" actually lasted until the next morning. Your body felt heavy and exhausted as you dragged yourself out of bed for work. The next three days were hard going. The morning sickness began each morning from the moment you woke up, getting stronger every day. Pedro became more and more worried asking, no begging you to call in sick for work. But each day you'd insisted you didn't feel that bad. The truth was you felt like shit! The unabating nausea and fatigue left you feeling on edge, knowing you can't keep this a secret for much longer. He's going to figure it out any day now or at least suspect, your anxious mind keeps telling you. By the evening of the third day Pedro couldn't take the worry anymore. "You've been ill for three days Y/N," he observed, uneasily, while sitting beside you on the bed, his hand caressing your cheek. "If you're no better in the morning you have to see the doctor." His face betrayed the apprehension he's feeling. "Ped, no I'm fine-" "You're not fine and you're starting to worry me." He cut you off in an urgent but not angry tone. "I'll drag you there if I have to." "Okay, Okay. I'll go," you groggily reply with a small smile. Relieved, Pedro leaned down to kiss your forehead. "Get some sleep baby. I'll check on you in a bit."

And with that he walked out of the room, leaving the door ajar. You closed you eyes and sighed. You knew this time would come. The time when you'd have to spill the beans, as they say. You weren't entirely ready for it but you have no choice now. You know he'll make you go to the doctor tomorrow and you can't use work as an excuse to worm your way out of it since it's one of your days off. You have to tell him tomorrow. The next hour was spent pondering what you would say to him and all the different ways he might react. Eventually, exhausted both physically and mentally you drift off into an uneasy sleep.

******

"You're what?!" Pedro's voice reached a pitch you didn't realise he was capable of. His earthy brown eyes were as wide as saucers and his jaw hung slack. Your eyes dart to your feet as you feel your cheeks burn and your fingers begin to tap the sides of your hips in anticipation. "I'm.... pregnant," you repeated, voice shaking. "I don't know what happened. The pill has never failed in the past-" "We'll it fucking has now, hasn't it!" He shot you a choleric look. "Or maybe you just weren't careful." "Excuse me?!" You snapped back with furrowed brows. "Don't you dare blame this on me. I never missed one pill and we always used extra protection when needed. You know that!" "I don't know anything right now!" Pedro shouted through his hands which were now rubbing his face in exasperation. "Well I didn't make this baby all by myself so don't put this all on me!" Hot tears begin to cascade down your cheeks despite your best efforts to hold them back. "I just.... FUCK!" Pedro cried out, booting one of the kitchen stools, making you jump.

"We can't do this. I can't do this." "Well it's too late now," you huff at him with your arms folded across your chest. "Not if we don't want it to be," he stated flatly. Your eyes widened and your heart clenched at his cold demeanour, causing you to instinctively place your hands across the small swell of your belly in protection. "I'm not getting rid of it Ped. I.... I can't," you exclaimed. "Y/N," Pedro sighed, shaking his head "This would change our lives completely. Neither one of us has the time for such a huge commitment and-" "I don't care," you cut him off sharply, fixing him with daggers. "I'm not getting rid of it. If it means I have to work part time then it's something I'm prepared to do." Pedro threw his head back to look at the ceiling, seemingly annoyed at your obstinate determination. You continue, "Weather we like it or not this is happening and we need -" "No it's not." He quickly stated, with finality. You stare at him dumbfounded. "What?!" "I'm not doing this. If you want to keep it you'll have to do it alone. I never wanted this and you know it." He returned your own words to you with clear contempt.

You open your mouth to say something, anything but words have now failed you. Your brain is unable to form a coherent sentence as the realisation of his words hit you like a punch to your gut. You feel numb as your heart shatters piercing your soul. He can't mean it! He's just upset, you try to rationalise internally, still to shocked to speak. Pedro turned away from you, grabbed his car keys off the kitchen island and stormed to the front door. "Make sure you're gone before I get back," he demanded in an emotionless tone. Seeing him walk away from you, immediately loosened your frozen tongue. "Baby wait!" you sobbed after him as he slammed the door shut without a backward glance. You instantly drop to your knees on the cold kitchen tiles, embracing yourself as your grief becomes unbearable. Your head begins to spin as you try to suck in deep breaths. It's no use. The despair is now consuming you, seeping into every crevice of your being, gripping you and tearing you apart. "Y/N?" You continue to sob. "Y/N?!" The familiar voice sounds muffled through your tormented cries and you can feel phantom hands gently shaking your shoulders. "Y/N?! Baby wake up, wake up. Look at me!"

You gasp as your eyes snap open. You are met with concerned caramel eyes, glowing in the dim lamp light. Pedro was leaning over your body, holding onto both of your shoulders. "It's okay. It was just a bad dream," Pedro soothed you while cupping your cheek. The feel of his warm skin against yours brought a sense of calm to your confused and distressed state, helping you to catch your breath. He sat up, slowly pulling you up with him. "Jesus Christ, you scared the hell out of me. What the hell happened?" he asked nervously as he wiped away a mixture of cold sweat and tears that had soaked your face. "I...," your voice gave out as you realised it was nothing more than a nightmare and the man you love is right here beside you. "I... can't remember." Your voice didn't sound convincing at all, and Pedro's raised eyebrow told you that he wasn't convinced either. "You're pretty shaken up sweetheart. You can tell me." "It's just a blur now." You choke out, wrapping an arm around his broad, tanned chest and leaning into his shoulder. "Okay," Pedro replied, still sounding unsure. He wrapped an arm around your shoulder and you snuggle into his neck as you both lay back down. You wrap your arm and legs around him like a baby koala, desperate for some comfort and reassurance that he indeed hasn't left you. "I've got you," he whispered, while holding you firmly and stroking your hair. "Let's go back to sleep."

*****

The sunlight spills in as the curtains lazily blow due to the partially open window. Your eyelids are heavy from the lack of sleep. Groaning you turn to the bedside table to check the time. 11:30am. "Shit," you mumble while rubbing the sleep from your eyes. You never sleep this late. You throw the quilt off and sit up slowly, the nausea returning as you do. Downstairs you can hear Pedro in the kitchen. "Okay, let's get this over with," you sigh, knowing you can no longer avoid the inevitable. As you approach the kitchen you stop and lean against the door frame with your arms crossed. Pedro's back is to you and you take the opportunity to just watch him, appreciate him and contemplate just how much you love him. A small smile tugs at the corners of your mouth as you just absorb the mere presence of him. But as soon as the smile appears it evaporates as the nausea increases momentarily, pulling you back to the here and now, reminding you of what you must do. In a few minutes everything will drastically change for the both of you.

Images from last night's dream flash before you, making your heart race slightly and your palms sweaty. A part of you knows deep down that Pedro would never treat you so cruelly and walk out on you, but it would be a lie to say the dream didn't shake you and make you feel somewhat apprehensive at this moment. "Hey darling," Pedro smiles as he turns to see you idling in the doorway. "How long have you been standing there?" "Not long," you shrug with a wan smile. He set his coffee mug on the counter and walked over to you, wrapping his arms around your waist. In return you run your hands up his arms, gently holding onto his triceps. "How are you feeling?" He asks with a creased brow. "Okay." An obvious lie. "Why didn't you wake me?" "Figured you needed some extra time since you didn't sleep much last night. I felt you toss and turn all night long." Worry and unease laced his voice. A few moments of silence pass before you clear your throat. "Baby, can we talk?" "About what?" he enquires with trepidation. "Just come with me," you exhale softly as you lead him by his hand into the living room to sit next to you on the settee.

With a deep breath you turn to face him, and feel your heartbeat quicken while twitching your fingers in your lap. A nervous habit of your that Pedro knows all to well. He places his soft palm over your fumbling hands to calm you. "You're making me nervous Y/N. Please just tell me what's wrong," he all but begs you. "I uh... I don't know how else to say this so I'll just say it..... I'm pregnant." Shock adorns Pedro's features as his hand slips off of yours. The cold feeling of emptiness where his warm hand had just been resting caused your breath to catch in your chest. You couldn't hold his gaze any longer and dropped your head, anxiety threatening to consume you. You wait with a sense of dread for his possibly angry or fearful reaction but are caught off guard when he delicately takes both of your hands in his, causing you to look up at him in anticipation. "Are you sure?" He whispers, his voice shaking slightly. "Yes," you nod. "I took four tests...all positive. I'm so sorry...." You began to ramble, "I didn't mean for this to happen. I don't know how it did. I know you never wanted-" "Hey, hey shhhh.... take a breath." Pedro cooed as he pulled you into his chest, cupping the back of your head with one hand and smoothing up and down your back with the other.

You begin to weep desperately as the past weeks' tension and worry finally break through the mental and emotional dam you had built within. "I'm sorry," you wail into his shoulder, chest shuddering as you try to regain some semblance of self control. Pedro cradles both of your cheeks in his hands and pulls you upright to look into your weary eyes. "Why are you apologising? Last time I checked it takes two to make a baby. You are no more responsible for this than I am, so please stop saying you're sorry." Your breaths become less laboured as his thumbs smooth small circles over your cheeks, the action soothing and reassuring. "It's just.... I know you never wanted kids..." You begin in a slightly exhausted tone. "I just don't know what else to say except.... I'm sorry." Pedro takes a a deep breath. "It's true I've never seen myself becoming a dad, and I never would have purposely had a baby," you look down and nod in understanding, feeling guilty for putting him in this situation. "But..." He tilt's your chin up to make eye contact with you again. "If it was going to happen, I'd only want it to happen with you."

The sincerity of his words took you by surprise. "Really?" You ask astonished. "Really." he assures you. "Is this why you've been acting so strange and been so sick lately?" You gulp and nod once. "How long have you known?" "A couple of weeks," you confess quietly. "And you kept it to yourself all this time?" It was more of a statement than a question. "You should have told me straight away. You never should have had to go through this alone," Pedro said with a hint of sadness in his voice. "I was scared" You admit somewhat timidly. "I was scared of what this would mean for us. I was scared because I want to keep it." Pedro smiled softly. "You know I'll support you no matter what, right?" "I know." A relieved smile made it way onto your face. "Was what happened last night anything to do with this?" Pedro questioned while reaching for your hand. "Yeah, but it doesn't matter now." You try to shrug the question off. "Tell me. I wanna know." "You.... you got angry," you shifted uncomfortably in your seat. "You blamed me, told me I'd have to do this alone and... you left."

Pedro's shoulders slumped as you finished speaking. "You didn't think I'd actually do something like that, did you?" The hurt in his voice was clear and it broke your heart. "No! no of course not," you cut in quickly. It wasn't a lie. You know what kind of man Pedro is and that he'd never hurt you like that. "I guess it was just all the stress and worry coming out in that dream. I know you and I know you love me. I know you'd never do anything like that." His face visibly relaxed hearing you confirm what he already knew to be true. "I do love you, baby. I know this is a huge change but we'll make it work. I promise." "I just don't want you to ever resent me or feel trapped-" "Shhhh..." he gently interrupted. "I could never feel that way, okay?" His voice left no room for any doubt. "I love you so much," you exclaimed, eyes beginning to fill again, but this time from relief and happiness. "I love you too, darling," Pedro whispered as he pressed his lips to yours. After several seconds he pulls away to look down at your belly, noticing the tiny bump through your pyjama top for the first time. "Can I?" He asks almost shyly. "You don't ever need to ask," you laugh with adoration. You take his hand and gently place it over the swell of your belly, watching as his eyes widen in amazement. "Wow!" He breathes out in awe. You both look at each other, eyes conveying the love you have for one another and now for this little one. The stress that had plagued you for the past two weeks began to dissipate like fog being burned away by the sun. The uncertainty of such a life altering future hung in the air but you know that together you can both handle whatever that future brings.

Oh Mama A Continuation

#pedro pascal #pedro x reader #pedro pascal fanfiction #pedro pascal fandom

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filmofhybe · 4 months

Text

taking care of you from afar

🫶 pairing : Nishimura Riki x oc 💌 GENRE : Angst 907 wc

Warning : break up , cold Christmas

; AUTHORS NOTE : mixed up mixed up up up

Masterlist to my other works

"Y/n, I can't just stop caring for you," he insisted, his eyes reflecting the conflict within.

I sighed, realizing the complexity of our emotions. "Niki, it's going to be harder for both of us if we keep holding on. We need to move forward separately." We know we both don’t want this. But if only you knew why..

Two months before Christmas, Niki and I decided to part ways. We knew it was for the best, but the pain lingered in our hearts. I told him he should let me go, that holding on would only hurt him more with each passing day. Yet, Niki, stubborn and caring as ever, couldn't bring himself to release his grip on our relationship. It has very much affected my way on moving on from him because of his kind and caring gesture till this day. But nothing would ever change him or even stop him caring for me.

Christmas approached, and the bitter chill in the air mirrored the frostiness between us. I knew he couldn't stand seeing me suffer during the cold holiday season, especially knowing how much my seasonal depression intensified without him.

One day, as I sat alone in my room, I received an unexpected package. Inside were heat pads to keep me warm, some havd cream and lipbalm. With accompanied by a note that simply read, "Stay cozy and warm." Confused, I wondered who could have sent such a thoughtful gift.

Days passed, and the surprises continued. Warm, comforting meals arrived at my doorstep, sometimes even health care products and medicines, bringing a strange mix of gratitude and confusion - Niki, despite our breakup, was orchestrating these gestures from afar. He understood my struggles, even when I tried to convince him otherwise.

“I’m not struggling from my little seasonal depression..”

“Y/n i know you long enough to know you are.”

“Just stop sending stuff over.”

“Just because we broke up doesn’t mean I’m going to stop.”

Then came the day when I opened the door to find a box labeled "Snakes." My heart raced with anxiety until I noticed it was a typo – the intended word was "snacks." I chuckled at the mix-up, realizing Niki's efforts were not without their share of mishaps. Remember how he somehow can’t seem to spill snacks correctly makes my heart swell.

It became a routine. Each day of December, a new surprise arrived, is like a little advent calendar, ranging from handwritten notes to carefully chosen gifts that catered to my needs. I was touched by his unspoken care, yet torn by the knowledge that we had chosen separate paths. Was it really worth it?

One evening, unable to contain my curiosity any longer, I sent him a text. "Why are you doing this, Niki? We're not together anymore." His response was simple, yet it carried the weight of sincerity. "I care about you, Y/n. I can't stop that, even if we're not together anymore. I’ll never break the promise I made with your mother.”

I pondered his words, conflicted between appreciating his gestures and urging him to let go. I replied, "You need to move on, Niki. We both do.", “fine. I’ll stop soon.” His messages became more sporadic, but the surprises persisted. I found solace in his warmth, even if it was delivered from a distance. It was as if he aimed to heal the wounds he couldn't see.

As Christmas neared, I felt a mixture of gratitude and guilt. Gratitude for the kindness he continued to show, as he continues to deliver gifts to my front door despite telling him not to, and guilt for allowing him to hold on to a love that no longer had a place in our lives. I knew I had to confront him, for both our sakes.

One evening, I called him, the familiar sound of his voice stirring a whirlwind of emotions. "Niki, we can't keep going on like this. It's not healthy for either of us." He sighed on the other end of the line. "I know, Y/n. But I can't help it. I still believe in us, and I can't bear to see you suffer. Especially during this time. I know and we both know your struggling and I can’t stand that.. To me your still my precious Angel that i care for everyday..”

Tears welled up in my eyes as I whispered, "You have to let me go, Niki. It's the only way we can truly heal." He fell silent for a moment, then reluctantly agreed. "I'll try, Y/n. But promise me you'll take care of yourself."

As Christmas Eve arrived, I braced myself for the solitude that awaited. To my surprise, a final package arrived, adorned with a ribbon and a note that read, "Merry Christmas, Y/n. Take care of yourself, that’s all I ask for.”

Inside was a beautifully pink crafted blanket, a symbol of warmth and comfort. Despite the pain, I couldn't help but appreciate the bittersweet beauty of his gesture. As I wrapped myself in the blanket, I whispered a silent thank you to the universe for the love that had once been, and the strength to move forward into a new year, alone but not entirely lonely.

“thank you for the gift. Take care.”

“Your welcome, and I’ll always take care of you from afar.”

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willowser · 1 year

Text

i think that childhood best friends to lovers with kiri would actually be — an incredibly sad journey LOL

you're perfect in his eyes. quirkless, exactly as you're meant to be, with the potential to do anything. everything. the world is at your feet and he knows you'll go after it — it's him that falls flat, that can't follow in your footsteps. his quirk isn't anything special, nothing manly, and it won't make him a hero like his heroes. instead he's just in this odd, empty space in between. floating.

you accepting him that way — i think it would mean everything to him.

neither of you really know what to expect, when he goes off to ua. of course you're excited for him; even if his hair is new and he seems a little different, you can feel the build of confidence in him, the motivation he has to try, and that means more to you than the distance ever could. of all things, you want kiri to be happy, even if your friendship takes a backseat to bigger, better things.

days turn to weeks turn to months and the calls become less frequent. the first time he comes home in a while — maybe half a year — he brings his new friends and they're...incredible. strong and powerful and full of life, full of excitement, spontaneous and fun. the kind of people that become heroes. the kind of people kiri needs around him.

you don't think he means to be so distant; what little time the two of you get together is the same as it always is. cheesy movies and multi-player RPG's until the late, late hours of the night. pizza and energy drinks and jokes that are still as funny as they were when you were six. he sleeps on the couch instead of your bed now and doesn't sit as close as he used to, doesn't take his shirt off just because anymore — but you don't mind. you try not to. you try not to care about how much he sweats when you stare at him, or how red the back of his neck gets, or how it seems like he can't look you in the eye anymore.

you don't think he means it, and so you can't be angry at him. angry, no, hurt though...that's a little harder. because everything seems the same with him; it's not like he's upset with you or even wanting to leave you behind. he always apologizes for not keeping up, genuinely, looking like a sad little puppy even though you for forgive him, easily. you're not sure what has changed exactly, you're only sure that everything has.

kirishima's able to go pro very quickly, has a spot secured even before he's graduated. by the time he was sixteen, he'd already been in the news a handful of times, celebrated for the incredible hero he's always been capable of being, and the public loves him by the time he's eighteen. while he's out saving lives and making an impact on the entirety of japan, you're studying or trying to find a new date to the summer festival, because you know he won't be able to go. he doesn't make your graduation — and sounds really sorry about it, when he calls a few weeks after — and you get petty enough that you don't go to his either.

it's stupid, and you feel bad, but kirishima doesn't even notice.

a long time goes by, before you see each other again. all the attempts he makes to meet up with you are fruitless; either he can't make it or you don't want to try, too tired and embarrassed after being stood up time and time again. his apologies become redundant, and even if you know he means them, it doesn't make them any easier to hear.

naturally, you see him again at the worst moment: coming out of the gym, sweaty, without makeup and fighting off a painful zit on your chin. he's with his bestie — bakugou, who is even more terrifying at twenty-four than he was at fifteen — and kiri has his hair up in a cute half man-bun and it's longer than you remember and he's bigger than you remember and in a shirt that should hardly count as a shirt.

and he's overjoyed to see you.

"oh my god!" he laughs, smacking a hand to his forehead as you stand awkwardly in the doorway, trying to tuck your face down in the most nonchalant way.

it's the wrong move, because you don't see him step in to hug you.

"kirishima!" you squeal, trying to jerk away as you feel his cheek press against your damp hairline. you feel gross, even worse when you see the face bakugou makes. "quit it!"

"sorry! i just can't believe—" and when he sees the look on your face, the happiness on his drops, replaced by something like humiliation as he glances between you and his friend.

there's something terrible about the slow end of a friendship, and you can see it manifest in his expression. how much of a stranger the two of you have become over time, due to neglect, and it seems like all the ugly feelings are soaked up by him like a sponge.

you don't even know what to say. you don't even know if there's anything to say—no, no, that's not true; there are a million and one things to say, but you just don't know where to begin.

#kirishima drabble #this has been in my drafts for literally so long LOL #he doesn't even realize 🥺 he's just been so busy 🥺#in his mind he's getting better for you #becoming the kind of man that you deserve #and in your mind he's left you far far behind 🥺#woof can you imagine seeing him after a few years into his hero career and he's somehow bulked up even more and he's headed to the gym #scheduled #✿ willow writes #✿ thoughts: kirishima

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