#2. i looked sooooo different

[kashmirichaiwithmehr]

.

#found vids of myself playing guitar from a few years ago (early covid) #and tell me why I'm so emotional #1. i miss playing guitar like that #2. i looked sooooo different #3. i was in a deep depression #4. i thought i sounded bad when i sang along with the guitar -> #(im not a singer by any means but i write songs as a hobby) #and my voice has changed soooo much in that i was singing at a higher range than i should've been #and omg the songs i wrote and played 😭😭😭😭😭 #why am i listening to them and crying over the emotions the music is making me feel and watching/listening to myself #this is so personal i need to document this feeling #i don't recognize that girl anymore #maybe that's a good thing #but i still miss her #mehrtalks

[eosofspades]

okay i meant to make this post forever ago but my personal opinion on why so many people were so dissatisfied with lightfalll (disclaimer: i am not one of these people, i love lightfall SO much), is that lightfall was kind of subjected to a really aggressive marketing campaign.

like, stick with me here, i feel like almost all the lightfall release content (the trailers especially) were so focused on battling the witness, how this battle has been centuries in the making and this is the Second Collapse Finally Finding Us, only for there to be,,, no real resolution. the end was left on such a severe cliffhanger, but not only that, there was NO battle with the witness. the witness didn't even seem to be having a hard time at all with what we WERE throwing at it.

and for narrative reasons *i* am obsessed with this ending; in terms of storytelling i adore practically every creative decision that was made in lightfall, but i think the reason that so many people were so upset about it is because lightfall had such intense marketing and was rooted in the implication that this was the End of Days, only for us to get almost no closure, and instead so many more questions.

(there's also something to be said, i think, about the fact that the people who ARE most upset about this are like, the youtube gamer dudebros who's content is very very often rooted in the aggressive, violence-and-warfare, pvp-centric, no-interest-in-lore approach to destiny, and that the people i've seen primarily ENJOYING the narrative decisions (or at least being understanding about it) are the artists and writers and loremasters of the fandom, but i'm not quite sure,,, how to expand on that point.)

#like. something something yt dudebros who are like 'uhhh destiny is about violence and war and the lore is only for people who suck at pvp #and destiny is a shitty evil game i hate it sooooo much hashtag 26871435 hours recorded gameplay' asshats #being the ones complaining MOST about the narrative in. a narrative driven game. and refusing to engage with ANY lore in a LORE HEAVY GAME #vs. the community on here thats full of artists and writers and people who actually like to analyze the story and characters #and engage with the lore and have any emotional attachment at all to the characters and world and themes #being the ones who are like. appreciative of the narrative decisions made and looking forward to where the story will take us and #looking at the game with LOVE instead of hatred and malice #and even if you didn't like lightfall!!! people in the latter category are still the people who i keep seeing be like #'yeah even if i didn't personally like it i can understand the significance of this narrative decision.' #'i acknowledge that bungie put so much time and effort and passion into making this even if it wasnt satisfying to me personally.' #'i have the critical thinking skills to understand that bungie is not a sentient malicious entity trying to ruin my life; me; specifically' #like. do you get what im saying. gamer dudebros who think the world revolves around them vs the fandom members who actually understand art #bc. thats what destiny is. its art. the whole thing is a massive art project made by a group of people that are very passionate about it. #do you hear what im saying at ALL its like two separate fandoms for the same piece of media the difference is so stark #mine #destiny 2 #lightfall #destiny 2 lightfall #eos destiny essays

[pasta-pardner]

GRHAAAAHAHRHAHHAAAA!

+ bonus inktober WIP pic below the cut

#inktober #inktober 2022 #john marston #red dead redemption #undead nightmare #rdr:un #red dead #jawnbie tag #artner #here he is !!!! its my special boy !!!!!! my zombie boyfriend!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! #i'm challenging myself to make as much jawnbie fan content as physically possible this month #i love john marston with all my heart and john is a fairly popular character in the rdr2 fandom #but i think its disappointing how little fan content there is for undead nightmare #(and for rdr1 in general tbh) #jawnbie in particular has sooooo much potential for cool fanon #bc the canon lore for jawnbie is both 1) compelling+ 2) not delved into in-depth #which is smth I will absolutely ramble about on a different post... but anyways! look at him!!!! #i've been doing portraits of him to get a feel for the face and gore structure and this one came out kinda like a yearbook photo ! #like awwww look at this handsome man! he got all dressed up to go have his picture taken!! what a cutie! #art #🤠 #pardner posts #howdy halloween

[non-un-topo]

Daily November crying sessions start today

#why. who. how. how tf does my professor think it's okay to assign 4 major assignments in the same amount of weeks + 4-6 readings every week #all of which are ~20 pages. #i've got all that to do and another big assignment for a different class. plus the weekly readings and reflections for that one. #and i have work. #i've stupidly decided to volunteer for a thing on saturday in the hopes of bulking up my resume + rubbing elbows with the administration. #and i have a medical thing on friday and i'll be looped out and likely will have to sleep half the day. probably won't get ANY work done. #what else..... some fairly easy stuff for my other class thank GOD. but a lot of reading and preparing for a few big essays. #november is the month i hate the fucking most. i always lose my mind in november. and no wonder!!!!!! #meanwhile people are bugging me to hang out. i will be in a student-coma until approx. the first week of december. see you then. peace. #oh and my BIL + SIL sitting me down and showing me all their europe honeymoon photos for 2 HOURS last night is also not helping my mood. #fuck you lol #like i'm happy for you and nice photos but also? Fuck You. #if i can offer some dark humour though..... #my fic axis exists because of a legitimate smidge of insanity i experienced last year. it shifted the way i looked at the world and at grie #sooooo i wonder what kind of fic my mind will crank out this time? #i don't think i'm at risk of losing it this year though. doesn't seem that way. but we'll see! #i can write/draw good things without sacrificing my mental health first i can write/draw good things without sacrificing my mental health f #rst i can write/draw good things without sacrificing my mental health first i can write/draw good things without sacrificing my mental heal

[fingertipsmp3]

I wish all food service workers who are weird about regulars always ordering the same specific thing and tease them for it a very “please don’t do that”

#was just thinking about when i first started my exchange year & there were basically 2 eateries on campus #i mean one of them was a giant food court with a bunch of options like burgers; sandwiches; salad etc #the other one was just a basic diner. i really really liked the diner because the food arrived fast; it was super good #and it was really close to where i lived. so every time i went in i got a hot dog and fries. and i went there for dinner probably every day #it took maybe about 3 days for the girl at the counter to start recognising me; knowing i was going to get the same thing each time; #and screaming ‘hot dog and fries????!?!!’ at me every single time i entered the building. which; if you’re like me and grew up with a weigh #problem and body image issues; fucking HORRIFYING. like why are you announcing to the whole diner what i’m going to be eating #i kept trying to show up when she wasn’t on shift or ordering something different and then i eventually just stopped going there #i kept going to the cafeteria because i could fix my own plate and the lady who weighed your plate (you were charged based on that) #never commented. but the cafeteria food was SO bad #i ended up going to the burger bar to just get the premade chicken tender baskets but those started to gross me out after a while #so i ordered a custom burger this one time and the guy was looking at me kind of funny for my order (i wanted a grilled chicken burger #with no cheese and just lettuce; onion and mayo on it) and one time when i went in i saw/heard him notice me and immediately start telling #his coworker about how ‘weird’ my order was. like i’m sorry i’m bri’ish and therefore don’t have the american propensity for shoving #a ridiculous and unnecessary amount of ingredients into any given sandwich??? sorry that i hate tomatoes and the idea of chicken and cheese #together horrifies me. i guess. #sooooo i started going to the sandwich bar and they were lovely. i ordered pretty much the same thing every day and the girl acted like it #was brand new to her every day. she also spelled my name wrong in a new and different way every day. and always added a smiley face #one time she put so much tuna mayo in my sandwich that i had to go get a spoon to eat it with. i hope she’s well #i just… i don’t know where i was going with this rant. i just hate being teased about what i eat bro #like whenever i like a food it’s ALL i want to eat for the next three months and i know that’s boring and not healthy but i don’t care!!! #why do YOU care. i don’t care and it’s my fucking body #you can let me eat my hot dog and fries in peace without announcing it to the whole diner. that is something you canndo #personal #*i feel like someone is going to accuse me of criticising food service workers. hiiiiii i’ve been one :)

[f1owermoon]

happy holidays my beloveds MWAH!!!!!!!!! 💕🥰💘💌💝🌟

#went to 2 different family gatherings today and im so exhausted and my head hurts. but i looked sooooo cute #my face

[stuck-in-the-ghost-zone]

i think when artfight is over im just gonna do a whole bumch of silly trigun panel/screenshot redraws

#just followed a blog called daily vash panels and im like. hes so silly i want 2 get soooo good at drawinf him #which means i have to do it like 6 million times #ive had sooooo many art ideas guys. so many. pain ans suffering #but i also want to draw my own ocs like a billion times. but its artfight so i need 2 be drawing OTHER PEOPLES ocs. AUGH #which i love doing btw. im cooking a huuuge background piece rn amd its looks so good. chef kiss. i love you coloring #ive got like 12 tabs open in csp rn . sigh #which is kinda nice bc if i get tired/frustrated with one drawing i can just. swap to a different one #and work on that without losing too much steam. but also. its a lot and its kind of overwhelming #and im already starting to feel the whole 'im not drawing i could be drawing why am i not drawing rn' thing every time i take a break LMAO

[tarantula-hawk-wasp]

I do get so comedically heated when fan fics harp on how tiny and short a character is and then I look up their height and they’re 5’4” and my 5’2” ass gets so mad

#I have my ed elric moments of being sooooo mad that I’m short #I still remember the emotions I felt when a fic made a big deal about Sera being short and then I look up her height and #it’s always 5’4 that people say is so short #and like sure yeah if most of the characters are like 6 feet tall they look short #but I still get mad bc my real life brother is 6’4’’ and being 2 inches taller would make a big difference to me

[realboutfatalfury]

lemon jae and rock + fern beni :)

#trying to find the perfect guy for magenta. i was planning on xiangfei but her links are so tough to work with >_< #the beni fern could be a little better but it's fine #ooh yeah lemon has brown hair and just dyed it blonde so that explains why the hair for jae and rock are different :3 #found out you can palmod the last blade 2 and samsho sooooo hehehe >:) #the reason i chose jae and rock for lemon is bc rock is blonde and i thought he'd look awesome in lemon's colors #and jae is bc early design jae looks like lemon jdfknsdkjfn 😭 #fern beni is bc they are both models heheh :3 #i wish i could mod xrd... sin magenta would be cool

[helloidkwhatimdoing-0]

Just ordered my prom dress and the colour is called burgundy but it looked very red, if it gets here and its more burgundy i will in fact blow up everything 👍

#moss mumbles #i dont hate burgundy there's just a very good reason why id really rather not wear burgundy to my prom specifically #but anyway it looked rly red #honestly didnt look very different to the actual red option. just a tad darker #and there was another option that actually looked burgundy #sooooo #i just have 2 hope #theres no time to change it if it dies look wrong and also i just paid 200 quid for it so i will simply be putting up with it 👍👍👍

[homelyhoney]

playing w the idea of getting a diffuser bc i just want bouncy curls so bad !!

#been trying out dif methods w my hair and like wow!! it could be sooooo curly if i could just figure out how 2 treat her right #normally i plait it and set curls that way but the bounce doesn't hold very well + it's not as curly as it wants to be #tried a dif method last hair wash day and it did turn out way curlier and bouncier (and is holding p ok!) #but looks a bit messy/disorganised which doesn't let all the curls curl !! #anyway. this is just me talking abt my hair u guys. so looking forward to growing my confidence styling my curls differently tho!! #much love mwuah !

[raveartts]

my dumbass always forgets to time things

#well i finished the sketch a little over 2 hours ago #and took a snack break to cook a second dinner (procrastinating) #sooo lining probably took and hour and a half? #which all things considered isn't that bad #for 7 frames of animation #and i really should've done a rough....things look so good in the sketch #and then you realize how horribly inconsistent things are #and have to try and fix that perfectly in the line work #it looks good though...lost a bit of energy to consistency but it's still cute #i wanted to work on the shadows #but my hand is cramped to hell and back #sooooo #i'd go eat more but i am stuffed :/ #gotta find a different way to procrastinate #OR GO TO BED #like a normal sane human #i have my hair dye appointment tomorrow morning too #rave ramblees

[ayoyoungg]

The MFAL team on Fantasy Boys did surprisingly well!! Especially considering that they were setup for failure 🙃

#the setup of this semester literally didn’t make sense #having a 7 member group go to 6 is A LOT different than 4 members going to 7 #even if the 4 original members were more suited towards the song/ that’s too big of a change #like why did this group have to have an additional hurdle #and then we look at the group and it’s 3 rappers & 1 ok singer for MFAL #like first of all MFAL is NOT an easy song (dance-wise more than vocal although sm songs are usually high) #they only have 2 days for the interim check like yeah the group could’ve been more prepared #but they literally had the psychological hurdle of not being chosen + the song they were assigned didn’t suit them AT ALL #THEN the group literally gets the scraps from other groups #bruh thank god for Irang #also the way how I was clapping when beomjun addressed kaedan #like my god idk what storyline they want for kaedan but that kid did not want to be there (in kokobop or mfal) #he was seriously annoying me (I’m sorry but how are you trying to be an idol & don’t know exo) #these shows should have an age limit bcuz I really don’t get why a 13yo is here #like it’s so frustrating bcuz for many contestants these shows are their only chance for getting recognized -> #and then we have children taking up spots like… #side note: beomjun looks sooooo much like zelo #also I think hayato is kinda funny and I’m so curious if he like really is hard to work w/ or if it’s just how he’s being portrayed #I find this show doesn’t show enough of the practicing #like beomjun just seems to be very direct & w/ how the group pulled it together in the end I was impressed #hayato seemed to be fine w/ his parts in MFAL so do they only point him wanting more lines when it’s seen in a negative light? #you get what i mean #like this group was the unpopular/not so talented/ ‘hard to work with’ ppl and yet they put on an impressive perf + no team conflict #tbh I thought MFAL was better than kokobop AND energetic (I only liked duhyun & surprisingly gyurae in energetic/ maybe jaemin too I guess) #the setup of this show is even more wack than other survival shows cuz it really is just all about popularity #these shows become boring when you already know who’s gonna make the lineup #the members at the top always perform together #this is getting long but anyways I think MFAL team deserves more props #also I hope hayato & other foreign members talk about the show afterwards lololol like I’m so curious if hayato is actually a brat(?) or not #jt

[look-at-the-stars-tonight]

i make this post monthly. kinning jim kirk v hard rn

#2 years im doing it in ONE BITCHES #ok one and some change #which im annoyed by a lil bit #because if i had not gotten sick i would have planned two months ahead like i usually do #im sooooo smart and sooo good at everything #yesterday i went to work and watched youtube videos on basic mechanical engineering #and im GETTING IT #AND IT'S SO FUN #why did i do bme #also today someone told me #that their evaluator was like 'this is just like the motor in ur car! brushless' #or something like that #and she was like ?? how would i know what a car motor looks like #and the man was. Amazed and shocked and a little bit sad #that she didn't build her car herself #some people live lives so different from me and im kinda jealous #also tomorrow im doing dnd #if i can breathe enough #i Have to be able to breathe cause i have to teach tomorrow oof #and i haven't taught this class in months #but its ok! i will Figure it out #what if.... i do my next exam in two weeks #would that be insane #like i feel like i Could #if i put in the effort #but also i've been doing So Much recently

[dannnnnny666]

Day 12: Time Travel

“Sooooo Phantom, do ya have any siblings?” Kid Flash asked as he tried to make small talk with the newest recruit to the team.

A few days ago, Young Justice was called to a meeting by Batman where he introduced their new team mate, Phantom. Phantom was a tough looking dude, he was jacked and towered over them all, even Conner!

Batman didn’t give them much information about the guy but apparently John Constentine was the one who suggested him for the team since he needed “community service hours”.

The dude was currently drinking some soda next to the computer as Red Robin searched for any new info on their latest mission. He turned his attention away from the can, and stared at Wally, his red eyes piercing into his soul.

“Why?” 

“Well we are all about to go on a mission together and none of us really know you so I think it’d be best if we all got to know you better,” that was half true. Mostly Wally was just being nosey, but the dude really did make everyone nervous since he was this really tough dude with blood red eyes and apparently was here because John Constentine said he needed community service hours???? Constentine typically say some wild shit, but what the fuck do you mean by community service? Wally knows you can’t use those for school, he’s tried, and what else gave you community service? Juvie and prison!!

Phantom stared at him hard for a few seconds, his eyes searing into the back of Wally’s skull before saying, “Okay fine”.

The answer surprised everyone in the room, I mean the guy had barely even spoken the last few days and had rejected every question about his personal life.

“Depending on how you see it, I have 2 to 4 siblings”

“Is your father a serial adopter too?” Tim joked.

“Yes and no”

“Huh?” 

“It’s pretty complicated,” Phantom shrugged, seemingly deciding to end the conversation there and taking another swig of his drink.

However, Tim, out of annoyances of every attempt to get to know this jerk being thwarted and a bit of confidence his family was more complicated, decided to challenge Phantom’s statement.

“Ehh, it probably isn’t as complicated as my family, we got about 50 more siblings adopted each month, all with lots much trauma”

At this, Phantom narrowed his eyes at Tim.

“I see what your doing, your trying to get me to talk tell you guy more about my family by acting like yours are more insane”

“Am I?” Tim asked, trying to hide the shivers going down his spine from the way Phantom was staring at him.

Phantom to a huge swig of his soda, emptying it and throwing it into the garbage, before fully turning to Tim.  

“You’re lucky I am always good for competitions, now sit down this is going to take a bit”

Tim gladly obliged and soon everyone sat around Phantom as if it were storytime in kindergarten.

“Okay, so at first I only had an older sister and my parents” Phantom began, “but then they died because of a mistake I made and I had to move in with my evil godfather”

Megan raised her hand and asked, “Isn’t a godfather someone who is very close to the family? Why would your parents choose an evil person?”

“‘Cause my dad was oblivious to this and though they were good friends even though the dudes tried to kill him multiple times”

“I see,” Megan lowered her hand, no less confused.

“There I went mad with grief and had him remove my humanity and tried to kill all of humanity”

“I think that was a bit of an overreaction,” Wally joked.

“You tried to kill all of humanity? Why weren’t we told of this when it happened?” Kaldur'ahm asked.

“That was in a different timeline, I was a big enough problem that they gods tried to kill the younger version of me to stop me, so to avoid dying, my younger version decide to try to defeat me and the only reason he did was cause I was underestimating him,” Phantom emphasized the last part because he had to stress he didn’t not lose to a 15 year old boy because he was weaker than him.

“What happened next?,” Artemis asked, completely inraptured in the story.

“I was then imprisoned for sometime before escaping, causing problems and then realizing that causing younger mean the same pain I experienced won't bring my loved ones back,” Phantom continued to explain, “so I am now going to therapy, doing community service, and got the majority of my powers taken away”.

“Is your therapist open to seeing new patients?” Konner asked.

“No, but this timelines version of my sister is and she has a lot of experience so I can give you her number instead”

“Sure, that’ll work”

“Okay,” Phantom said before writing her number down and handing it to Konner, “The thing is I can’t go back to living with my real parents because they don’t know that I am Phantom so I have to go back to living this timelines version of my godfather”

“You gotta be kidding me” Tim groans.

“Exactly what I said!!” Phantom put his arm up defensively, “Fortunately, this version is a little better, he is no longer tiring to kill my dad and has stopped chasing after my mom, he did clone the other of me and now there is a genderbent version of him but my godfather treats her like a princess and will not stop spoiling her, which I am also guilty of”

Phantoms continues to explain more and in the back of Tim's mind he remembers he was supposed to be doing something but honestly this conversation was too good to care.

“Anyways that's how I technically have 2 to 4 siblings, Jazz and Elle are permanently my sisters and I love them so much, and even though the other Jazz is technically the same as this Jazz, I still think of her as someone else, someone I miss dearly. Also if I considered this Jazz my sister, I guess I’d have to considered the other me as my brother”

“Damn bitch your family is crazy” Wally said, happy he finally managed to get through Phantom’s tough skin.

As they finished up their storytime, the Zeta-tubes activated and Red Tornado and an upset looking Batman walked to the group.

“You all were supposed to leave thirty minutes ago”

#dannymay2024 #danny fenton #dannymay #dannymay 2024 #dan phantom #dark danny #danny phantom #jazz fenton #danni phantom #vlad plasmius #vlad master #dpxdc #dc x dp #young justice #dc #red robin #konner kent #miss martian #kid flash #aqualad #zatanna #tigress #day 12 #time travel #day 12: time travel

[intern-seraph]

thinking abt leona and malleus being 2 very different flavors of touch-starved (leoyuu and malleyuu incoming —)

leona is PICKY!!! he has select few Favorite People who get the privilege of skin-to-skin contact and (like a cranky kitty) acts all nonchalant and hissy about the idea of cuddles. up until you're snuggled up with him in bed and then he's heaving the MOST dramatic sigh known to man: "FINE. Oi, Herbivore, roll over so I can be the big spoon." he's also sooooo smug about pda. if you go for the premarital handholding while out and about he has the biggest grin on his face. anyone who looks at the both of you? they get an even smarmier grin. yeah. keep looking.

meanwhile malleus is SUCH a needy baby about cuddles!!! he's been so lonely!!! the first time you tapped on his shoulder to get his attention he swooned!!! oh my god someone touched him!! willingly!!! he gets all pouty if you aren't physically touching each other somehow. please scoot a little closer? a liiiittle closer? just a smidge more? perfect. your thighs are touching and now he is a very contented lizard. he loves resting his head on your lap (or vice versa!) and surprise kisses stolen as you pass each other in the hallway! be patient, he's very excited to finally have someone so comfortable with him.

#malleyuu #malleus x reader #leoyuu #leona x reader #twst #twst x reader #twisted wonderland #malleus draconia #leona kingscholar #seraph speaks #my writing