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#....also because i usually get annoyed with screen doctor type content
mixelation · 3 years
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i think the scene that best exemplifies why loki is falling flat (for me) so far is not the many boring conversations where owen wilson explains the plot to loki, or the scenes where a character just exists to explain time travel lore to loki, but rather the scene where they walk into Apocalypse Walmart out of the rain and loki magically dries himself off. he then calls the lady agent whose entire personality seems to be “be annoyed by loki” a peasant or something like that. she huffs or rolls her eyes and then they go on with the plot. 
what was the point of that? it didn’t give us any new insight into loki, the tva agent, or their relationship. loki being dry and everyone else being wet isn’t a plot point. it wa maybe there to remind us he has magic, which he proceeds to barely use. i can only conclude that it was there to be a Funny Joke and give tone to the episode, except it wasn’t funny. 
do you know would have been actually funny? loki makes a big deal about being better than everyone else because he has magic and doesn’t have to walk around in wet clothes like some sort of chump, and then the fire sprinklers go off, drenching him all over again. that’s funny. that shows off that loki is an arrogant prick but then also immediately humbles him in a way that’s endears him to the audience. come on
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inumaki-roll · 3 years
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i was curious how the DR (( nagito, hajime, makoto, rantaro, shuichi, chihiro, byakuya, izuru, kazuichi, & kiibo if that’s okayyahdsh sorry)) & AOT guys would react if their s/o who is selectively clingy w certain people kinda back off suddenly because they just feel.. embarrassed?? like when they were a kid people reacted negatively to their clinginess and would ignore them for it. and they just feel so dumb to show emotion & showing their clinginess? and they feel like they’re being a bother and being annoying too... & suddenly just feel like closing off from the world lol? i’ve been feeling like this recently and i’d love to see what they’d do if that’s possible please!! thank you so much!!
hi anon !! i’m this way too dw HWKWBWN 
i hope it’s alright that i only did the danganronpa boys and eren, armin, jean, + levi but if you want i’ll def redo it later with more of the boys !! i’m really sorry today has been a wicked long day for me bc of doctor appointments and i have to write an email to my principal of my school because of a certain incident so i’ve been a little stressed with that and report cards coming up </3
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- mod rantaro ✧・゚: *✧
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MAKOTO NAEGI
- he can completely understand 
- he’d make sure everyone left you alone and he’d let you stay in his dorm during the day and night 
- he’d love the clingyness please 
- he wouldn’t even get annoyed with it either 
- if you thought you were annoying him he’d be so panicky 
- waving his arms everywhere while frantically telling you how much he enjoys your company 
- he’d be so mad at the people who told you you’re annoying 
- constant reassurance- headpats, hugs, light kisses on your face, and lots of hand holding 
➽───────────────❥
BYAKUYA TOGAMI
- he might act a bit annoyed, but as soon as he sees your insecure about coming off as annoying he softens right up 
- he’d make sure no one messes with you because he can be quite intimidating 
- he stays by your side all the time in public 
- he would mention how he enjoys having you around him and he’s delighted that you’re so comfortable around him 
- in public hed let you hold onto his elbow if you’re feeling like you don’t belong in a conversation and if you got really uncomfortable hed leave right now away 
➽───────────────❥
CHIHIRO FUJISAKI 
- he gets so flustered when you cling to him 
- he loves it when you’re sitting right near him while he’s working on a computer 
- he gets all smiley please he’s just too cute 
- every so often he’ll turn his head away from the screen and plant a little kiss on your cheek to show that he’s not ignoring you 
- i think he’d rather just hang out with you in each other’s dorms during freetime instead of socializing anyways 
- he’d like teaching you little programming things 
- he’s worried he might bore you so he programs something to your interests 
➽───────────────❥
KAZUICHI SODA 
- HED LOVE THE ATTENTION 
- he’d literally never get tired of it bc he can be quite clingy as well 
- lots and lots of affection 
- he’d love it if you stayed with him while he worked on something 
- he’d love showing off and showing you how to do mechanic things 
- hed literally YELL at anyone who calls you annoying 
- he could never even think for a second you’re annoying or too clingy 
- he’d bop someone on a head with a wrench for you <3
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NAGITO KOMAEDA 
- omg please. 
- nagito would feel like he wouldn’t deserve your clingyness 
- he’d tell you that over and over again too 
- he’d watch his words carefully to not say something that may offend you 
- he wouldn’t even mind that you’re clingy, sometimes he might get a little like “woah this is a lot of affection for me and i’m not used to it” and may accidentally distance himself for a short time but would recognize that he did that and remembers that you need someone and hed apologize and would never leave you alone again 
- he’d smother you with affection right back 
- he thinks you’re more deserving of affection than he is, so he gives back the same energy 
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HAJIME HINATA 
- tsundere hajime would be so like 🤨🤨🤨
- he wouldn’t know how to respond at first but he’d warm up quickly because he also likes the attention 
- all the affection makes him feel so,,, special 
- he loves it even though he may need a break once in a while, due to his stress 
- he never ever even thinks of you as annoying and will argue with someone who thinks you are 
- like a full on argument 
- he’d  always tell you how much he values your quality time 
- he might sometimes accidentally mirror your actions and “cling” a bit too by subconsciously draping his arm over you when your next to him or always being able to find your hand while walking together 
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IZURU KAMUKURA 
- he’d be so confused on why you’re clinging to him, since he’s not a very touchy person
- he’d ask you this too and he’d understand that he’s special because you aren’t like this with everyone 
- he’d do anything for you to make you feel more comfortable about being a clingy person and he explains to you that it’s not your fault you’re like this and to not get mad at yourself because it’s a normal feeling that lots of people go through 
- he’d  always have a hand holding yours or an arm around your shoulder
- he’d think it’s very endearing that you’re clingy 
- so much quality time spent together finding random things to keep each other occupied 
- sometimes he can feel exhausted or just drained and will just flop himself onto you and just lay in your lap and let out a big sigh and literally lay there forever 
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RANTARO AMAMI 
- he’d also enjoy it quite a lot 
- he’d always offer for you to tag along if he’s going somewhere but he never wants you to feel out of place 
- he’d literally welcome all the affection pls 
- he’d literally go “aww” at it too 
- he’d feel so content when he has your attention 
- rantaro supremacy 
- okay why do i think he’d ruffle your hair as a way of intimacy too 
- BIG WARM LONG HUGS 
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SHUICHI SAIHARA 
- flustered emo detective
- he’d hide his face a bit when he receives a lot of attention because it gets him so blushy 
- he’d be a little hesitant but,,, lots of pecks on the lips 
- he’d also never even dream about calling you clingy or annoying because it could make you upset 
- he wants you to be content and comfortable so he’ll always let you be near him
- play with his hair while he works on a case i’m ajsjkabssk
- he’d immediately feel less stressed and worked up 
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KIIBO
- oh boy 
- he always loves the clingyness because it helps him understand humans better 
- he likes seeing all the different types of affection that you can give and will remember it and test it out on you later 
- he like offers you little things for hanging out with him 
- he’ll give you a flower for just being near him please he’s just too <333
- “y/n! thank you for your time today. i collected valuable data, now saved to my memory bank and it also let me get to know you better. i think it would’ve been a bit rude that you did not benefit from this so i hope you accept this flower as a sign of my graditude and as a thank you for being an extraordinary s/o.” 
➽───────────────❥
EREN JEAGER 
- also a bit confused 
- why do you want to cling to him ?? he can get violent and loud sometimes ?? 
- he might be hesitant to accept the affection but would warm up 
- he would be very,,, quiet while receiving affection 
- like he becomes so focused on that 
- will fight anyone who thinks you’re annoying 
- when he finds out you’re really only like this around him he’s so shocked but honored 
- he’d try his best to make you happy and comfortable 
- he’d love love love holding hands 
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ARMIN ARLERT 
- bae would be shy shy 
- he’d be so scared to mess up 
- he’d literally freeze the first time he gets affection and would melt right into it 
- like just pull him into a tight hug for the first time and he’d just freeze and go 
- “y/n.... i-i really like this. can we stay like this for a bit? please?” and would hug you back tightly 
- then he gets used to it 
- he welcomes all the affection and he smiles widely whenever you go to him and he tries to hide it 
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JEAN KIRSTEIN 
- he’d try his absolute hardest to make you happy and would cling right back 
- he’d be flustered and try to act tough at the same time akshakue 
- i think he’d like tracing his fingers around your back and arms 
- big hugs 
- you have to let go first on hugs, he never lets go [hes scared he might loose you] 
- gets a little nervous and panicky if you aren’t being your usual clingy self 
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LEVI ACKERMAN 
- he wouldn’t really respond 
- he’d let you cling onto him and will let you follow him around 
- he’d warm up to it very slowly
- and one day randomly returns the affection 
- i think he’d like little kisses on the knuckles or hands 
- he wouldnt get annoyed because he’s one of the only ones who’s treated this way by you so he wouldnt want to hurt your feelings 
- if you did get insecure he would give reassurance by a kiss and a “pep talk” 
- won’t tolerate anyone calling you annoying 
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artsystranger · 4 years
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Karma’s Playlist Chapter 1
Karma’s Playlist. Chapter 1. Introduction to the Snow.
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Content: Beetlejuice/OC, language, inappropriate beetle behavior, he’s a creep what do you expect, oh my god they were roommates Word Count: 7040 Summary: Karmilla has always been able to see ghosts; something that becomes immediately more troublesome than ever when she makes eye contact with the sandworm-dodging demon-ghost. Author’s Note: I have an actual playlist for Karma. I will be using songs in there as titles for chapters. Sometimes the songs will be very telling on what’s going to be happening in the chapter.
The rain had started in the middle of her shift, something she should’ve expected given how cloudy it had been lately. It was just a light rain, though, so she felt her jacket would suffice for the short amount of time she would be out in it. The sound of the continuous pitter-patter of drops soothed her, letting her mind settle easier into the mindless monotony of her job.
Soon enough, her shift was over and she was able to leave. As she tugged on her jacket, she brainstormed on how fast she was going to have to walk to the bus stop while staying as dry as possible. There were a few trees she could take cover in, but they, of course, only did so much good. With a heavy sigh, wishing she wore a thicker jacket, she pushed through the store’s door and began her trek.
It wasn’t that far of a walk to her bus stop, thankfully. Just around two blocks. With her quick pace and there being so few people out on the streets thanks to the rain, she was able to get to the bus stop cover with her jacket being minimally soaked through. With a sigh of relief, she took a seat at one end of the bench, which had remained dry thanks to the metal cover surrounding it. An older woman sat at the other end, giving Karmilla a smile and a nod.
As she relaxed in her seat, bringing out her phone to pass the time, the rain began to pick up, desaturating the area with it’s dreary greys. It would’ve been much more enjoyable if she didn’t have one last walk to suffer through after the bus ride. Still, the sound was nice and helped her space out and let time pass.
“FUCK!” The shout came from across the street, followed by cackling laughter.
Looking up, Karmilla saw a man standing under a cloth covering that now has a large hole in it, presumably because it wasn’t able to handle the sudden downpour. He was soaked head to toe, staring in disbelief as he continued to stand under the hole. To the left of the man was where the cackling was coming from; a vividly green-haired individual in strikingly odd clothing, pointing and laughing at the victim of misfortune. While his style could by eccentricism, his floating mid-air as he laughed could not.
Karmilla couldn’t stop herself from staring at him, exasperation overtaking her mind. It had been a long while since she had seen a ghost out and about, but never one quite as relaxed or unconcerned as this one. Either he didn’t know about the weird, ghost-eating worms that evaded her supernatural perception or he had a way of avoiding them.
As a whole, ghosts were not a new development for her. She had always been able to see them ever since she was little, even if she didn’t know why. They were few and far between but even the occasional sighting and telling her mom of such had landed her being sent to many doctors to try and see what was going on in her head. Still, the sightings of ghosts didn’t seem to be enough for doctors to diagnose her with any hallucinatory disorders. Something she was very happy to escape.
When she came back to reality, the drenched man had wandered away down the street, leaving the ghost’s laughter dying out slowly before it stopped very suddenly, his interest in that small accident being lost. His dingy shoes rested on the ground as he started looking around, as if trying to decide something. His scanning gaze stopped very quickly when he noticed the woman staring at him.
Karmilla diverted her gaze quickly down to her phone, acting as though she was very much engrossed with whatever was on it. She flicked through her screens, looking through different social media to try and distract herself from the green-haired stranger, hoping that he would think she was just looking past him and go on his merry way. She had a feeling this wasn’t the case when she felt a lingering chill begin to hover in front of her. She looked slowly up from her phone to the upside-down, pale face that she had seen across the street. With the sudden closeness, she could very clearly see patchy stubble, which was mostly green, very much matching his darker-rooted to vibrant green hair. With it just being stubble, it seemed that his cheeks were also stained green for whatever reason.
As a smile started to brighten his face, she looked back down on her phone from his dark, trying one last time to ignore him.
“You can see me!”
There was a pause for response, but she just continued looking at her phone, pretending she saw nothing. She’s found that talking to ghosts in public brings nothing but weird stares and trouble. This one was not easily thrown off, however.
“Hey, don’t ignore me!” he shouted, rotating back right-ways up before bending down and almost shoving his face into her’s. She flinched back just a bit, but pulled her phone closer through his cold face, trying harder to ignore him. “Our eyes met! Our souls bonded! Well, maybe not my soul, but- LOOK AT ME!”
Karmilla heaved a sigh, letting her hands and phone fall into her lap before giving in and looking at him. He looked particularly pleased with himself when her eyes met his own again.
“You got some pretty greens there, babes.” He kept his face uncomfortably close to hers, smiling almost lecherously at her.
She leaned as far back into the bench as she could, trying to create some space as she looked off to the side. His cold presence moved from her front to her side, taking a seat on the bench very close to her. From the chill behind her, she could easily assume that he had stretched his arm out to rest behind her. This guy really had no concept of personal space.
“You’re not just gonna sit there and ignore me, are you, babes?” He was facing her, legs spread with an arm still resting behind her back.
Looking down at her phone again, she clicked on the closest thing with a text box and typed out, “Not gonna talk to a ghost in public.”
He leaned over her shoulder watching her type, silently mouth the words as she typed them. The ghost was quiet for a moment, staring deadpan at her phone and then back at her face. “You’re a millennial, aren’t you? Don’t you all carry fuckin’ headphones or something? Just pretend you’re calling someone. You know how to do that, right?”
She couldn’t help but roll her eyes at him.
“Hey, it’s true and you know it! Don’t roll your beautiful eyes at me and act like it isn’t!” He snapped his fingers in front of her face a few times before pointing to himself. “Hey, hey, hey, look at me.”
She didn’t look full over at him, but gave him a sidelong look.
“Talk to me, or I’ll start begging. Ask anyone who knows me, I am very good at being annoying.” The expression he had on his face made her believe that he was 100% serious.
Suppressing an annoyed sigh and seeing as she wasn’t going to be able to get rid of him any time soon, she shifted her legs out so she could reach into her pocket and grab her ear buds. As she plugged them into her phone and connected them to her ears, she could feel the green-haired ghost smiling very contentedly at her.
“You’re pretty easy, huh?”
Her eye twitched as she tried to keep herself from outwardly grimacing. Once she had herself situated in as relaxed a way as she could get, she finally spoke, her tone very deadpan. “Hello?”
“You got a very sexy voice, lady. Such a nice one to come back to, just for little ol’ me.” He relaxed back into the bench, stretching his legs forward. Were he corporeal, he would’ve surely been leaning his head against her tensed shoulder. “Oh, babes, it’s been so long since someone has talked to me and not through me. There’s lots of interesting, juicy conversations out there but, holy fuck, sometimes a dead guy just needs a little back and forth.”
“Sure, but did you need something?” Karmilla did her best to keep her gaze either forward or down at her phone, not wanting to draw anymore attention to her.
There was a short pause between them as the ghost shifted in his seat again, turning himself toward her, the grin reappearing on his lips. “What? A creepy, old demon can’t just strike up a conversation with a sexy lady?”
God fucking dammit. “Oooh, a demon? Then definitely no.” She wasn’t exactly sure if he was serious about the whole demon thing, but there was a lot she still didn’t know about what exactly resides in the Netherworld.
Sneaking a small peak over at him, she noticed a few small changes. His dark eyes had taken up a golden spark while his hair seemed to have dimmed. She could’ve sworn she saw some strands of red coming to the surface. He held a hand against his chest, mocking a shock of pain. He was still grinning, but it looked sharper now. She couldn’t really explain it, but the change in his demeanor was overall more threatening than before.
“Well, shit. Your words cut me so deep.” His voice seemed a bit more rough now too. It’d probably be an attractive thing were she not in public and felt her anxiety begin to well up. Something about her own expression must have pleased him, as the new colors began to fade away and he relaxed again. “You know, your reaction to everything so far is very chill. I usually prefer to get at least one good scream, but-- for you-- I’d gladly skip to-”
“Bus is here,” she interrupted him. During his brief spiel, she heard the familiar engine of the approaching bus. She waited for it to get halfway down the street before standing from her seat, remaining in cover from the rain.
“Oh? And where is that fine ass of yours headed?” His choice of words made her think he was almost certainly staring at her aforementioned ass.
“Home,” she said simply. “I’ll talk to you more when I get there.”
“A lady usually has to buy me dinner before I let her take me home, but for you, babes, I’ll wave it.”
As the bus pulled up, she felt the older lady who had been sitting at the other end of the bench step up next to her. When the doors to the bus opened up, Karmilla gestured her arm forward and let her get onboard first. The older woman thanked her with a nod and a warm smile before moving as quickly as she could to the steps of the bus.
“I woulda tripped her.”
His voice suddenly in her ear made her jump. She had not noticed the cold almost fully encompassing her back, like he was almost pressed up against her. She took a deep, calming breath before stepping into the rain and into the warmer shelter of the bus. Of course, it didn’t stay warm, as she felt the ghost-demon following after her. It was a bit irritating but easy enough to deal with, she guessed. When she found and settled into a seat, she pulled the buds from her ears and phone, wrapping the wire around her hand before shoving it back into her pocket. Even if there wasn’t any jostling from him sitting down, she could feel the cold and see his striped form plopping down next to her.
As she brought out her phone again to help pass the time, she could see him lean over a bit to look and see what she was doing. She had a considerable number of games on her phone, most of which she had forgotten were there but kept because she might go back and play them. To keep herself busy, she pulled up a tapping rhythm and key game. It had music to go along with it but didn’t want to bring any attention her way, so she kept it muted. Scrolling through the long list of songs, she picked one of the faster ones and started tapping away at it.
The ghost stared down at Karmilla’s phone, squinting his eyes as he watched  her thumbs tap quickly away on her phone. “Jesus fucking Christ. How much time do you gotta have on your hands to keep up with that shit?”
With a little finesse, she stuck out her middle finger at him while still keeping up with the tiles as they sped down the screen.
She heard his gasp of mock offense, almost certain that he put his hand on his chest in a similar way to last time. “Well, that’s just downright rude. What a way to treat a new friend.”
His words were enough to make her pause, slipping up enough to miss a note in the game. With that song essentially over, she looked up from her phone and to the side at him. He was still leaning very close to her to watch whatever she did on her phone, but as soon as that stopped he turned his attention to her puzzled face.
“What’s up, doll? I got something on my face?” Just as he said a few bugs crawled out from his hair and ran across his face.
Unsure of what to do, she just stared wide-eyed at him before slowly turning her gaze back down to her phone. Better play a few more songs to wipe that from my memory.
“Ah, come on, that was funny! I coulda done something a lot worse. Like this!” From her periphery, she could see his hand go up to the top of his face and peel it down. Even from what little detail she could make out, she was able to tell there was nothing more to the horror than the grotesque musculature of his face.
Doing her best to communicate in a mute fashion, she made a so-so gesture with her hand, trying to say that it wasn’t so bad. Or, at least, not necessarily worse than the sudden appearance of bugs crawling over his skin.
“You’re not even looking at me,” he said, in mock offense. “You never look at me during.”
Her lips flattened out into a straight line, trying to stop the small laugh that she felt coming to the surface. Karmilla didn’t like admitting it, but his sense of humor was right up her alley. Usually, strangers had a harder time getting her to laugh. Maybe her guard was down because he was a ghost and couldn’t really do much to her, aside from visual-auditory hallucinations and gags.
She looked over to him again, after she successfully held down her laugh. The skin of his face was hanging off of his chin, revealing the muscles and tendons that made up his face. It wasn’t scary or shocking to her, just a little unsettling and surreal as she had never been able to get such a close look at facial muscles as she was now.
“Wow, really?” He had no trouble speaking apparently, even with a lack of lips. “You are a really tough cookie, aren’t ya?” After he finished his words, he slapped the slab of skin back onto his face, pushing and pulling it around to fit back where it was supposed to. “Well. I’m gonna go fuck with someone else now. BRB.”
The green demon pushed himself up from his seat and started striding down the aisle, looking for someone to properly torment with his limited power. At most, he's able to put people on edge and make them more irritable. Essentially, just being an annoying presence. Looking back down to her phone, she started again on another song, putting a majority of attention on it as she waited for the bus to reach her stop. She would occasionally hear the angry grumbling and cursing of another passenger as the demon-ghost messed with him.
Time passed relatively quickly on the bus, reaching her stop just as another round of her game came to a close. As soon as the bus came to a halt, she got up from her seat and made her way back down the aisle to get off.
“Aw, are we leavin’ already? I was this close on getting this guy to break,” the specter called after her as she walked on by, not responding to him. He hummed for a second in thought before fucking with his victim one last time before following after his friend.
It was raining harder now, the cold droplets sinking easily into the fabric of her thin jacket. Keeping her electronics as close to her center as she could, she started her fast trek through the rain. She lived only a few blocks away from the stop, so-- if the crosswalk lights were kind to her-- she wouldn't have to be in the rain for too long. If they weren’t working in her favor and there was no one hurtling down the road, she would book it across the street. Anything to get out of the beating, cold rain.
Minutes later, she was finally able to take cover under the overhang of her small apartment building. It wasn’t the fanciest place, but it also wasn’t the dingiest. The only thing that could be construed as concerning was the ivy growing up the front. Pulling her keys from her pocket, she unlocked the door and pushed her way in, getting a loud buzzing noise as it closed and locked behind her. The inside was similar to it’s exterior, nothing really standing out in the lobby aside from a few dreary paintings and a small grid of mailboxes on the wall. Dredging past it, she started ascending the steps to her apartment. It was days like these that made her wish she had gotten one that was closer to the ground instead of being at the top of the stairway. Given the small size of the building, there wasn’t any room for an elevator to be put in, making it virtually inaccessible to those with physical disabilities.
As the ghost followed her, floating up the steps rather than walking them, he would occasionally divert from the path to sneak a peek inside the other apartments. This one definitely had no sense of personal space so it wasn’t really surprising to her that he would be ignoring her neighbors right to privacy.
Finally reaching the last residential floor of the building, she walked up to her door and started unlocking it. By the time she got it open, the demon-ghost was by her side again, passing through the doorway before her.
“Oh, yeah, just go right ahead. That’s fine,” Karmilla mumbled, finally feeling like she was allowed to speak now that she was home. She followed in after him, closing and locking the door behind them. When she turned back around, she saw him still standing in the short entrance hall leading into the rest of her apartment.
“You know, I did not peg you as a dog person,” he said, still not moving forward.
Even though she knew she could pass through him, she opted for skirting around him instead, not wanting to deal with the uncomfortable chill and feeling that happened whenever you passed through a ghost. At the end of the hall sat her dog. Her tail had stopped slapping against the floorboards as soon as her new ghostly tag-along showed up.
“That’s Bingo. She’s not a fan of supernatural stuff,” Karmilla said as she walked by the alert Malinois, who continued to stare at the ghost. “Bingo, rechts.”
Without any hesitation, the hound stood and did an about-face, walking along her person’s right side as Karmilla walked to her bedroom. Karmilla had a feeling that because of how anti-boundary the ghost was, that he would try to follow her in there to watch her. She wasn’t sure how long he was going to be sticking around, but even if it’s only for a few minutes, she felt she had to set some sort of boundary for him to follow.
As soon as she threw off her jacket and got to her dresser, she saw his green hair pushing through the wall before his head popped out.
She gave him a stern look, something easily mustered by her. “Listen, ah- I don’t even know your name, but if you’re going to be in my home you’re going to have to give me some space. Now, shoo.”
“No show then?” He made a face as if he was contemplating something, looking from her face, down to her chest, then back up again. “Alright. Fine. Because you’re my friend. And friends do friends favors.”
She wasn’t sure she liked where that thought process would end up, nor was she sure where he got the whole idea that they were friends, but at least he slipped his head back through the wall, allowing her to change in peace. Bingo laid down next to her, watching the door as Karmilla stripped out of her wet clothes.
“What is your name, by the way?” she called out.
“I can’t tell ya.”
She paused for a moment before continuing, changing out her normal bra for a sports one and replacing her shirt with a loose band tee. “What do you mean? Can’t or won’t?”
“A big ol’ no can do, babes.” His voice sounded further away that time. She guessed he was looking around. This was only a 1-bedroom apartment, so there wasn’t really going to be anything else to see. “You know how it goes; fuck with higher-ups, get cursed, lose your fun powers, and can’t give your own name to a lovely lady without jumping through hoops.”
During his explanation, she had replaced her wet jeans with grey sweats, snatching the earbuds from jeans before tossing all her wet clothes into a laundry basket in the corner of her room. As she walked out of her room with Bingo following on her right, she pulled her hair from the bun it was before shaking it out. Sitting at the end of her couch that was farthest away from her TV, she could see the ghost sticking his head through the door that went into her bathroom.
“Sounds rough,” she responded, propping her bare feet up on the coffee table as she watched him.
When he heard her voice coming from somewhere different, he brought his head back out from the bathroom and spotted her on the couch. In the blink of an eye, he disappeared and reappeared right next to her on the couch, lay back with his head at the other end, one leg fully up on the couch’s cushions as the other dangled off. He laid the back of his hand over his eyes in a dramatic fashion. “Such woe is my existence. Like taking it up the ass with no lube.”
Bingo growled lightly at the sudden appearance of the ghost on her couch, because of his proximity to Karmilla and the fact his feet were passing through her. A hand on the head was enough to quiet the dog, luckily.
“I’m almost afraid to ask, but why your name?” She tried her best to not react to the cold chill from his foot sitting essentially inside her.
“Well, you know that one guy who made the fish fucker village people and had a giant free-swingin’, octopus head thing? Yeah, my name’s like his cat. You know exactly the one.” Even lying down, he was very animated while talking.
From his description, she assumed he was talking about H.P. Lovecraft. “Yeah, I know what you’re talking about.”
“HA!” He sat up suddenly, pointing at her. “I knew you were a fuckin’ nerd. But, nah, I’m just fucking with ya. My name is nowhere NEAR as terrible as that.”
As he laid back down again, her mouth flattened into a straight line, trying to keep the fact that she thought his roundabout shenanigans were funny. No need to encourage him. “Okay, but you didn’t answer my question.”
“Look, babes, I love talking about me, don’t get me wrong. But I feel like we need a bit more of a back and forth here.” He was using more hand motions to emphasize his point. “You’re learning all of my deepest, darkest secrets, but I haven’t gotten anything juicy from you.”
Her brows furrowed as she looked at him. “All I asked was your name. You gave me your life story freely without answering the actual question.”
“Yeah, well, it’s not my fault saying my name became so complicated.”
“Isn’t it, though?”
There was a pause from him as his mouth turned into a tight-lined, exaggerated frown. “Alright, you got me there.”
There was a long bout of silence between them, one that felt awkward and a little tense. Karmilla took this time to think of a way for him to tell her. He’d probably think that just spelling it out was too boring, so turning it into a game might help it go down better.
“Would a word game work as a loophole?”
He perked up at the sound of ‘game’, almost in a way a dog would when someone would say ‘play’ or ‘walk’. “A game, you say?”
“Yeah, like charades or something.”
He sat up quickly and turned to sit more properly, waving his hand off at the suggestion. “Nah, not that one. I did that last time.”
She gave him a curious look, wondering what exactly that meant. A question for a different time, she thought to herself as she stood up and went back into her bedroom to fetch a pen and a notebook. Walking back into the living room, she plopped back down on the couch before putting her feet back up on the coffee table.
“We’ll do it like this then,” she started, flipping open the notebook to a blank page and turning it horizontal. “I guess a letter. If I’m right, you tell me where it goes. If I’m wrong we’ll do a little thing of truth or dare. Good?”
A smile curled his lips. “Oh? Adding some stakes for moi?”
“Yeah, why not. Might as well make it an actual game, you know? Now, how many letters?” She laid the notebook on her lap so he wouldn’t have any problem seeing it.
After scooting close enough to her that they were touching shoulders, he started mouthing the letters counting the letters on his fingers. “Uhh, eleven.”
She drew eleven evenly sized lines on the paper. “Alright then. S.”
It takes a moment for it to click with the ghost before seemingly going over it in his head. “Go fish.”
She sighed, writing down the letter under the lines so she wouldn’t say them again later. “Not ‘go fish’, but I will choose ‘truth’.”
“Boring. Ah well.” He leaned back, stretching his arm out to rest behind her. “Much as I love just callin’ you ‘babes’ and ‘sexy’, I’d love to know to be callin’ out.”
“Don’t get any illusions that anything could or would happen, buddy,” she responded quickly with side-eyed, half glare before looking back at the page. “My name is Karmilla Nazarian. You get the surname as a freebie.”
“Karmilla, Karmilla, Karmilla,” he repeated, trying out her name. “Karma’s a good nickname for you. It even has its own-”
“Yeah, yeah, Karma’s a bitch and all that,” she cut him, tapping her pen on the journal. “Any ‘f’s?”
“Rude to cut off a guest like that, Karma,” he said as he leaned forward and shifted around so he could look at her unamused face. He could only guess how many times she’s heard that classic line in her life. “And that’s a hard no on the ‘f’, babes.”
She groaned in annoyance this time, looking up at the ceiling and blindly marking down ‘f’ in the used letters row. “Truth again, I guess.”
He tapped his chin in thought as his eyes wandered around the room before landing on her again. Then down a little lower. He kept his eyes there even as Karmilla turned her head back to face him. Completely unashamed, he turned his eyes up to her and grinned. “What cup size ya packin’?”
“Wow, you really do not shy away that shit, do you?” The question was rhetorical, asked in an astounded state of mind.
“What can I say? I know what I like,” he said cooly with a shrug. “Now, spill.”
With a few moments of hesitation, she answered. “I’m a C. Happy?”
“Very.” The wide, pleased smile on his face definitely attested to that.
Rather than going for conventional letters this time, she went with ‘x’. Third time’s the charm, right? Or maybe not, given the look her ghostly guest was giving her. Fuck.
Taking her feet off the coffee table and slapping the pen and pad down in their place, she stood up, careful to not step on Bingo and turned to face him with her hands on her hips.
“You know what? Fuck it. Dare.”
He was amused by her sudden change in attitude, giving her a toothy grin. “You’re a competitive one, aren’t you?”
“Just give me a dare already, chucklefuck.” She had to admit, she did have a competitive streak. No matter how often she would try to play it cool in any sort of game, after a few bad turns her attitude would sour and desire to throttle people would kick in.
He did, indeed, chuckle at her words. “I gotta say, I am loving this color on you, babes. Very hot. Now, why don’t you show me how flexible you are?”
The glare on her face became harder, almost looking like a snarl had she decided to bare her teeth at him. She did growl at him a little, so there’s that. “What? You don’t want me to do a handstand while singing ‘I’ve got a lovely bunch of coconuts’?”
“Not for this one, but thanks for the idea.” God, she wished he was tangible so she could punch his stupid face.
Moving her feet to keep her balanced and from falling over, she started bending slowly and fully backwards, making an arch with her spine. All the while, she kept one hand up to flip her ghostly ‘pal’ the bird. As she went back, he tilted his head to follow her until her hand finally reached the ground. He would go over there, float above her and tease her, but he knew he was already pushing it with her this go-’round.
Straightening his neck back out, he slapped a hand on his chest. “Oof. Babes. If my heart was still beating, it woulda stopped just now.”
Getting back up was a slower process than bending back, but she made it without having to lay on the ground. She walked back over to the couch, dropping down back into her spot with a bit of a bounce. Grabbing the journal and pen again, she grumbled to him, “Fuck you, we’re doing the next letter.”
He laughed at her words, ready for the fun to continue. Seeing her getting frustrated at the game she proposed seemed to scratch an itch for him. It wasn’t as good as when he scared the daylights out of someone but it was still fulfilling. The added bonus to it all was that he could actually talk with someone. It had been a good long while since he had that chance with someone who wasn’t dead or a 1-dimensional clone.
The game continued on with Karmilla guessing the wrong letter a few more times before she finally got one. When she finally did, she was probably too ecstatic. Not jumping up and down ecstatic, but the quick, in-your-face yell of ‘fuck you’ before moving onto the next letter. By the end of the game, he learned a lot; the black padding she had lining the walls of her apartment was to save her neighbors the trouble of having to listen to her blaring music and her singing along with it; she’s slept with a good few people, gender never really coming into play for her; she’s always been able to see ghosts and knew more about the Netherworld than the average breather should know. There were a few more dares involved, none of them fun for her but all of them entertaining to him.
Eventually, the game came to an end, much to Karmilla’s relief. With all the letters lined up on their spaces, she stared at the pad.
“Beetlejuice?”
He leaned more forward at the sound of his name. “It sounds very nice when you say it. Why not give it to me a few more times?”
She gave him a suspicious look as she closed the journal and tossed it on the coffee table with the pen she was using. “Why?”
The smile on his face tightened. He was probably a little too eager with his words. Standing up and walking through the coffee table, he started to pace slowly in front of her, watching her eyes follow him. “Oh, you know. Curse stuff. Can’t say my name, can’t talk to the living, can’t get summoned and get all my powers back.”
She shifted herself on the couch, tucking herself comfortably into the corner as she watched him. “It’s that easy?”
He stopped his pacing and looked at her with a tight-lined smile. “Is it, though? Usually, someone would think the whole ‘living people can’t see me’ would be a pretty big kink in a plan to return to full power.”
She mocked his expression, inadvertently making him laugh. “Whatever. So, I guess the summoning requires your name? Is there more to it? Sacrificial lamb? Blood of the willing? Sacrificial virgin?”
“You could bring a virgin to me, though there wouldn’t be any blood letting. Unless they were into that, then maybe a little blood letting.” His words earned him a disgusted look from his friend, which just made him smile all the more. “Lucky for you, there’s no ghosty mumbo-jumbo you gotta deal with. Only thing you gotta do is say my name three times in a row--” he held up three fingers to emphasize his words-- “Nothin’ in between.”
She gave a small hum of contemplation as she nodded at him. At least, there’s no murder involved. Unless, that’s something he planned on doing when he’s ‘summoned’. From what she’s seen so far, she’d just assume he’d be more of the practical joke type that might sometimes end with someone getting hurt. Still, she hasn’t known him for more than three or four hours now, so there could still be a lot under the surface she hasn’t seen yet.
“What will you do when you’re back at full power? What exactly happens?” Better to ask up front than try and be clever about it. All she could hope for now is that she could spot any lies he tried to use.
“Would you believe me if I said it was to become a better part of the community and help those in need?” Beetlejuice put on his best attempt at an innocent expression, batting his eyes at her. The visual itself got him a half-smile from her but also a shake of her head. He dropped his little act quickly. “Didn’t think so.”
He sat on air, crossing one leg over the other and put his hands on the top knee, like he was trying to sit pretty. She wasn’t able to describe the voice he was doing as anything other than a peppy lady at an interview. “Well, what I really want to do is have some fun. Ya know, go out on the town, wreak some havoc, scare the daylights outta people, and maybe throw in a few dismemberments to spice it up.”
Her eyebrows arched up as he spoke, putting more thoughts of what exactly she let follow her home. Nothing harmless, that’s for sure. “Yeah, I’m definitely not going to do that.”
He groaned dramatically, rolling his head to emphasize his eye roll. “Uuugh, but why? We could have so much fun together!” He stood up from his air seat and took a few steps towards her. “And you look like a gal who could use it.”
She opened her mouth to object to the last part, but in all honesty he was right. The most she ever did was work, college, home, and dance and sing with Bingo when she’s drunk. “Causing harm to people is not fun.”
“Unless it’s someone who really deserves it.” As he was about to take another step forward, Bingo growled. He did a quick, mock growl back at her before continuing on, staying in place this time. “And you didn’t say ‘no’ to the havoc wreaking and the daylight scaring, so-”
“It’s a no to the whole thing, Beetlejuice,” she said flatly, looking him right in the eye. She noticed that hearing the sound of his name made him perk up, his hair seeming to brighten in color and the air around him feeling more electric. At least, electric enough that she felt a tingle in her limbs and warning bells going off in her head. “Listen, I just met you. I don’t know you. I don’t know why you’d think I’d help you out.”
“Because we’re friends?” He said this like it was the most obvious thing to him. Come to think of it, she had noticed that he had referred to her as a friend every so often between the come-ons and general sexual harassment.
She let out a long sigh, letting her head fall back to rest on the cushions of the couch, trying to think of what she should say. When she finally had it, she brought her head back up. “Don’t wanna break your heart, dude, but I’m pretty sure we’re not friends. There’s no real basis for it, other than I’m the only one that can see you.”
He deflated a bit at her response, but continued trying to keep up his relentless attitude. Of course they were friends. How could she not see that? “We made a connection! This is destiny or fate or whatever the fuck it is. You talked to me!”
“Didn’t have much choice there.”
“You brought me home with you!”
“You would’ve followed me anyway.”
He paused again. “Both valid points. But come on, Karma! You’re not really gonna leave a dead man hanging, are you?”
She didn’t respond, just leveled a deadpan stare at him.
Dammit, lady, you’re killin’ me! He bit the inside of his lip as he tried to think of a way to convince her. He thought he had been very good and friendly thus far, but he may have come on a little strong with her.
“Alright, alright, okay,” he started as he came back to the couch, walking through the table again to sit next to her, facing her as fully as he could. “What if I prove myself to you? So, you can trust that I won’t be going out and killing randos on the street. Unless you want me to, then I totally will. But I’ll behave! As much as I can, anyway.”
She continued just staring at him, but thought over his words. Until she noticed him starting to do his best attempt at pleading puppy dog eyes. She’d hate to admit it, but the longer she stared back at him the more she felt his look getting to her. God, he’s really good at playing up being pitiful. Doesn’t help that he probably genuinely wants a friend. Fuck. Something about her eyes must have softened because she could see a small smile coming back to his face. God dammit, now it’s cute.
Karmilla had to break eye contact with him, losing out in the battle of wills. Curse her empathetic heart. “Fine, I guess.”
As soon as she relented, Beetlejuice jumped from the seat up into the air in a cheer, going higher than normal physics would allow. He landed on the coffee table facing her. “Oh, babes, thank you! You are not gonna regret this one bit!”
God, I hope not, she thought to herself as she pushed herself up from the couch. “Make yourself at home, I guess. I need to walk Bingo, so I’ll be back in a bit.”
He turned as he watched her go back to the counter where she had left her keys, seeing her pocket them and grabbing a leash, the dog following alongside her. “Want me to come along, my new best buddy?”
Karmilla attached the leash to her dog’s collar before pushing her feet into the shoes she had been wearing earlier. “No. I’m not gonna be long. Like I said, just make yourself at home.”
He shrugged even though she wasn’t looking before falling back and laying on air before floating gently down to the couch, hands interlocked behind his head. “Whatever you say, boss lady.” Oh, sweet, sweet freedom here I come.
He looked over and watched as she picked up what she needed, hooking up her dog and walking out the door. The click of the lock bolting into place was very audible even in the sound deadened room. As he continued to stay reclined on the couch, he looked towards the TV. Probably should’ve asked her to turn it on before she left. Live and learn. Well, maybe not live. The point stands that without his friend here, there was nothing in the apartment that would help pass the time more easily.
“Well--” he jumped up from the couch suddenly, taking a few steps towards Karmilla’s room. “Time to complete the invasion of privacy before I gotta dial it back.”
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manicjimmy · 4 years
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OKAY I kinda organized my ideas lol. Gonna put it under a read more so it’s not taking up the whole dash!
MEANWHILE when I get things organized I’d like to RP in this setting with all these guys and I’m hoping you all can make OCs to join in! ANYWAY...
So my idea here is a sci-fi setting where on one side you have a futuristic neon city, while on the outskirts of the city there’s a gross wasteland. While there’s no official wars or anything, there’s obviously some tension between the City Dwellers and the Wastelanders. I’m still kinda figuring it all out, but I’ve at least kinda figured out how my guys work in it!
THE CAST:
CANDY: - Wastelander - Mutant with regeneration ability - Works as a prostitute using his regeneration abilities to fulfill people's more dangerous fantasies - In his suit and/or mask 95% of the time - As a Wastelander, it's seen as taboo for City Dwellers to proposition him - Because of this, I'm sure he as a lot of dirt on City Dwellers - He's probably useful to Scream because of this but I dunno what their relationship is yet or if they even know each other - Even if he knows Scream I dunno if he would tattle on his clients anyway
TANTRUM: - City Dweller - Is a City hero. I'm still figuring out what that means exactly, but basically he keeps the peace around the city and fights off any attacks from Wastelanders. The point is that he's looked upon highly by the average City Dweller - Very loud and egotistical, thinks of himself as something of a celebrity (and kinda is tbh) - Is a pretty nice guy other than that though, if not kinda bratty at times - He gets himself into trouble A LOT, mostly because he's more about action and rushing into things rather than thinking them through first - He's basically a counterpart to Ison, and the two probably partner up often on hero duties - Actually it probably goes deeper than that, they're probably best friends at this point - Thinks of robots as second class citizens, but that's normal for most non-robot people (mostly because they're the ones who build the robots in the first place) - Probably biased toward Wastelanders/mutants/etc. as well but realizes that they're people too (unlike robots apparently) - Actually has a robot servant named Monitor, who he (despite seeing him as subservient) is actually pretty attached to. While he may order him around, he does feel affection toward him like one would a pet or something
MONITOR: - City Dweller - Tantrum's robot servant - Is actually submissive and pretty happy to take orders from Tantrum - Pretty content as being seen as subservient really whether by his master or others - Either completely mute or communicates through beeping noises and uses images/emotes on his screen - Is a sweet boy, almost TOO ADORABLE FOR WORDS - Like most people he tends to get into secondhand trouble because of Tantrum
ISON: - City Dweller - As stated before, is a counterpart to Tantrum - Neither of them are exactly SMART but he's definitely the smarter of the two, and is more tactical to balance out Tantrum's impulsiveness - Also like Tantrum he is a hero and as seen as a celebrity and protector - Despite his flashy, revealing looks, he's actually got a pretty bland, almost boring personality (he just doesn't like clothes I guess lmao) - Like I brought up on Monitor, he tends to get dragged into trouble mostly by following Tantrum - While he may be smarter and more tactical, he's also the more submissive of the two and more likely to follow Tantrum than the other way around - Also has a robot servant, but doesn't look down on robots as much as Tantrum does. He still sees them as servants to an extent, but treats them with more respect for their work. His robot is named Peanut - He treats Peanut *mostly* as an equal and doesn't order him around as much as Tantrum does Monitor
PEANUT: - City Dweller - Robot servant to Ison - Like Monitor, Peanut is mostly fine being seen as second class (though Ison treating him better than most masters treat their robots has given him some higher standards) - Is mostly a really chill dude, kind of stoner type despite the fact that he can't get traditionally stoned lol - Also has a really good sense of humor unlike his bland master (also probably a big fan of puns) - Because Ison treats him more like an equal than a servant most of the time the two get along really well like bros - He's obviously not a big fan of Tantrum nor the way he treats his fellow robot, Monitor, but also acknowledges that this is the norm and doesn't really fight it - He and Monitor are pretty decent friends by default, even though mostly just bonding through being robots and having masters that are also friends - Probably has to be the one to get Ison as well as Monitor and Tantrum out of trouble
SCREAM: - Toes the line between the Wasteland and the City but is more or less a Wastelander (he doesn't get along well with others in the City tbh) - Deals in all sorts of shady business, but is mostly an informant. He has dirt on everyone. - Also dabbles in bounty hunting and assassinations (and really anything else for the right price) - Has a gun he's named Bangarang and tends to personify "him" - Like Candy, he's in his suit and/or mask most of the time (I don't think anyone has seen his face before) - Is he a mutant under there? A robot gone rogue?? Okay probably not, but no one knows for sure! - He's hung up on the idea of immortality and is trying to find a way to make it possible. Most of the money he makes doing shady shit goes into this - Is totally a patient of Doctor Yes and has probably worked on the immortality shit with him before (has Yes seen him maskless??) - Meanwhile Yes probably actually annoys the shit out of him, but who else is gonna help him after he's fucked up from a mission? Probably no one from the City, that's for sure
DOCTOR YES: - Wastelander - Is just kind of ambiguously foreign and speaks broken English. His name comes from this, as his most common thing is saying stuff like "I am to be being Doctor, yes?" or "You are to be listening to Doctor, yes?". He at least communicates well enough to get his point across - I don't think anyone knows his real name, and he's fine with just being called Doctor Yes (or just Yes for short). I don't think he's ever bothered to correct anyone. In fact, he usually refers to himself as just Doctor anyway and tends to speak in the third person - While I'm thinking about it, has anyone seen him under HIS mask?? Maybe he and Scream have a mutual thing lol... - Meanwhile he's actually an amazing doctor despite being just some quack in the Wasteland - Actually probably started practicing in the Wasteland so he could get away with crazier techniques. He's totally done all sorts of mad scientist shit. He's probably become such a good doctor because he's not limited - Because he does treat Scream regularly as well as do crazy mad scientist stuff, the two are probably working on a solution for immortality together - Also despite being a Wastelander, he's cheerful enough and manages to get along with City Dwellers pretty well. He's not very discriminatory
BUSTER: - City Dweller - Huge fanboy and craves action and fame - Looks up to hero types like Tantrum and Ison - Is more likely to get mixed up with the likes of Scream mostly out of gullibility or eagerness to please - I wanna say that he's like 19-21? (Ison and Tantrum are like late 20's - early 30's and no one really knows Scream's age) - Like Scream, he has a gun that he has named and personified. "Her" name is Fabienne - If he does end up teaming up with Scream I'm sure they bond over this
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mss4msu · 5 years
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Call Me Doctor. (Steve’s Chapters 7 & 8)
Summary: Fresh out of graduate school, you had somehow landed a spot in the faculty of a prestigious university. The small anthropology department has too many faculty and too few offices; sharing an office does not go as you expected.
Pairing: Professor!Steve x Professor!Reader
Words: 4710
Warnings: Language and ANGST
A/N: I’m sorry it’s taken me so long to write more of this. I graduated with my Masters a week ago and have been busy applying to jobs all week. But this chapter is v long to try to make up for it!!
IMPORTANT: THIS IS WRITTEN FROM STEVE’S PERSPECTIVE!!!!!!! THIS DEPICTS STEVE’S VIEW FROM CHAPTER 7 TO CHAPTER 8 OF CALL ME DOCTOR!!
Catch Up On the Story Here
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By the third week of the semester, Steve became more smitten with (Y/N) than he had believed possible. While in the past he had actively avoided the departmental lunches in favor of staying in his office and working, knowing that (Y/N) would be there enticed him to attend, despite the comments and looks he received from James about it. Steve found that he could join her for lunch the other two days a week as well, and was thankful that it was just the two of them together in the office. He learned more and more about (Y/N) during each lunch, such as how she loved ketchup but hated tomatoes and couldn’t listen to classical music while working because she got too involved listening to the specific instruments to focus on her tasks. No matter how hungry Steve was, he could talk to (Y/N) for hours and often forgot to eat his lunch, leaving him hastily shoving it into his mouth as he ran off to one of his classes.
Steve was thankful that the third week also brought less students into the office, as they had already done their necessary introductions with (Y/N) during the first two weeks. While in the past he would have taken the quiet to work, he found himself wanting to talk to (Y/N) instead. While they chatted about different things about their lives outside of work, they also talked about various challenges of their jobs. Steve got advice on how to incorporate popular culture into his lectures to make them more appealing to students.
On one afternoon, Steve worked up the nerve to ask (Y/N) how to use Tumblr. Steve told (Y/N) about the year he had spent studying love letters sent during WWII and was curious if he could find fanfictions on Tumblr to relate to them, just as (Y/N) had done with the Egyptian love poems. She helped him set up a username (he chose SteveRogers_UniversityProfessor so he wouldn’t forget it) and then began to search for stories. Steve watched as she pulled up fanfictions about a star-spangled superhero who was incredibly popular with the ladies. Seeing (Y/N) blush at the explicit content appearing on his screen made Steve wonder what sorts of NSFW activities she was in to. He deemed it necessary to continue reading it, even at her requests to exit the page to “get the full experience.” Seeing her embarrassment and how easily she navigated the site, Steve also began to wonder if (Y/N) may have written some of the content herself.
Steve picked up the phone and, to (Y/N)’s chagrin, called James and told him to come into his office. When James came into the room, the three of them huddled behind the computer screen. Steve gently moved the keyboard from under (Y/N)’s fingers and typed in the username that (Y/N) had referenced in her presentation. He quickly found stories of an American turned Russian super-soldier, which James found immensely interesting.
“Steve, click that one, Guys My Age,” James requested.
Steve obliged and opened the story, “Which Part?”
“Part one!” James excitedly replied.
Steve clicked Part One, “Warnings are lap dance and angst.”
“I thought you said these were juicy!” Bucky scoffed, “This just sounds like a typical Saturday night.”
Steve rolled his eyes and clicked on the link to the next part.
“Smut and NSFW gifs? Now we’re talking,” Bucky said, leaning closer to the screen.
“‘Fuck me. Now. You can apologize later.’ This is kinda kinky, (Y/N),” Bucky said, giving her a look.
“‘His hands were roaming everywhere and you couldn’t get enough of the contrast between temperatures,’” Steve read.
“‘Please...please touch me I n-ned to feel you inside me!’” James read, pawing at Steve’s shoulder.
(Y/N) awkwardly cleared her throat from behind the two men, who both began to giggle.
“If you’ll both excuse me, I think I need to go make my own Tumblr account for...research purposes,” James said, as he began to leave the office.
“Don’t forget you share an office with someone, James,” Y/N replied.
“That didn’t stop you two,” James winked as he left the room.
By Friday Steve had been looking forward to going home and searching through Tumblr to see if he could find an account for (Y/N). She was packing up her things to go home when Tony stopped by the office.
“Ah, perfect! (Y/N) and Steve, you’re both still here! Unfortunately, I have an important engagement tonight, Pepper is getting awarded an Excellence in Leadership award, and I of course will be there, so we need faculty to be here for the lecture tonight. Everyone else seems to have gone home already, so it looks like you two are the ones for the job!”
Steve cleared his throat in annoyance, getting ready to snap back, which Tony quickly realized.
“No issues with that I hope?” Tony rhetorically asked, giving (Y/N) a poignet look, “Great, thanks a bunch! (Y/N), the welcome is in your email inbox ready to go!” Tony finger-gunned them both as he left the office smiling.
Steve heard (Y/N) grumbling as she unpacked her bag and sat back down at her desk.
“So typical of Tony,” Steve growled.
“What do you mean, typical?” She asked.
“He is notorious for last minute assignments when he knows people have better things to do. He did it to you your first week by assigning you that lecture and he did it to me with the introduction.” While Steve loved the freedom he had to research by being just a professor, he often regretted not taking the director position because it would have meant that he could be the one bossing Tony around.
Steve heard (Y/N) mutter something to herself, “What was that?” he asked looking (Y/N) straight in the eyes.
“Nothing, just annoyed I have to stay.”
“Why? Big plans this weekend?” Steve’s heart began to race.
“Huge plans. I had a big date,” she replied, to which Steve’s heart sank and he couldn’t help a tense frown appearing on his face, “with my couch, my tv, a pint of ice cream, and a bottle of wine,” she finished.
Steve took a deep sigh of relief and his face relaxed, “That sounds very similar to my weekend, minus the tv and the ice cream.”
“You have a couch?” she teased him, “I imagined you felt most comfortable on a bed of nails.”
Steve was aware of the office jokes about his home, but it stung a bit coming from (Y/N), “Gotta sleep sharp to keep sharp,” he joked back, trying to cover it up.
After sitting in silence a few minutes, Steve felt the need to defend himself further.
“You know my apartment really isn’t full of dangerous furniture, right?” he asked hesitantly, a blush creeping into his cheeks.
“I can’t make any official judgements until I have experience.”
“Well, perhaps I will return the invitation to a dinner in my home,” Steve’s heart was racing.
“I would like that,” she said, quickly adding, “I mean, it would be nice to have a get together of everyone.”
Steve couldn’t tell why she had added the bit about everyone coming over, and simply answered, “Quite.”
They returned to working in silence until (Y/N)’s phone alarm went off to go downstairs to the lecture. They both packed up their things and went down together. Steve placed his things on a seat in the back of the room.
“I should probably sit in the front, since I have to do Tony’s welcome,” (Y/N) said.
Perhaps too eagerly, Steve replied, “I’ll join you,” before picking up his things and walking with her to the front of the lecture hall.
Steve settled into a seat near the podium, next to the one (Y/N) had placed her bag on. After she had finished the welcome, she moved her bag to the floor and sat next to him. Steve couldn’t focus on the lecture, as he thought about the woman sitting next to him instead. 10 minutes into the lecture, Steve noticed (Y/N)’s leg restlessly bouncing up and down. He waited a few seconds, working up his nerve, and then nudged her.
“Worried you’ll be late for your date?” he whispered in her ear.
“Ha. Ha.” she whispered back.
He took a deep breath, and decided to ask, “Wanna get drinks after this?”
“Honestly, we should’ve gotten drinks before,” she replied.
Steve couldn’t help but snort a laugh in agreement.
With drinks to look forward to at the end of the lecture, the event seemed to take even longer than usual. Once or twice, when (Y/N) shifted in her seat, she would accidentally elbow Steve. Although he knew it was an accident due to how close the seats were to each other, he couldn’t help the flutter of his heart each time it happened. Steve began to daydream about the night ahead; getting drinks with (Y/N), maybe going to his or her apartment after for more conversation, leaving before things got too heated...if they even got a little heated at all. Steve snapped back to reality when he felt the seat next to him move as (Y/N) got up to thank everyone for attending.
“Ready?” Steve asked as she came back to her seat and hurriedly picked up her bag.
“Never been more so,” she replied.
“Let’s go then, there’s a good bar a few blocks north. I’ll lead the way.”
Steve resisted the urge to take her hand, and walked out of the auditorium. The walk to the bar was spent discussing how boring the lecture had been. As they entered the bar, they found it noisy and dimly lit. Steve led the way to the only open table in the back of the bar, where there was at least a little reprieve from the sounds of the full bar. (Y/N) sat down, and Steve leaned down to speak into her ear, which gave him a slight flutter in his stomach.
“It’s loud in here, is this ok?” he asked.
“It’s fine!”
“Alright,” he felt relieved, “I’ll get us some drinks. Any requests?”
“Something full of alcohol.”
Steve nodded a reply, and as he turned to the bar he couldn’t help but smile at her response. Despite the bar being full, Steve was able to slide in and have the bartender come right to him.
“Hiya Steve,” the bartender said, pulling out a glass from under the bar, “The usual?”
“Hey Stan,” Steve replied, “two of the usuals this time.”
“Two?” Stan asked. Steve moved slightly so the bartender could look around him and see (Y/N) at the table. “Good for you!” he exclaimed, getting out another glass and filling them both with ice and bourbon.
“Thanks Stan,” Steve said as he slid cash across the bar.
“Have fun tonight,” Stan winked at him.
Steve walked back to the table and handed (Y/N) one of the glasses, taking a drink as he sat down in the chair next to her, “Bourbon on the rocks.”
She took her drink and coughed, and Steve couldn’t help but laugh as he patted her on the back.
“I haven’t had much time to drink lately, so it’s a bit strong!”
“Yeah, sure,” Steve continued to chuckle, he couldn’t help but feel even more attracted to her.
They spent two hours talking about anything and everything, from restaurants in the neighborhood to places they wanted to visit in the city, career goals, and hopes for the future. To Steve, the loudness of the bar disappeared as he focused on (Y/N)’s voice, although after 3 drinks his focus wasn’t as great as he wished.
“So, Steve, are you seeing anyone?” (Y/N) asked.
Steve felt a lump form in his throat, “No, not recently.”
“Oh...that’s interesting.”
Steve noticed a blush spread in her cheeks and he couldn’t help but smile, “I suppose so. Another round?”
“Why not!”
Steve returned to the bar for another round.
“Looks like it’s going well over there,” Stan grinned at Steve.
“I actually think it is,” Steve grinned back. He couldn’t remember the last time he had felt so happy. “I really like her, Stan.”
“I think the feeling may be mutual,” Stan said, nodding in (Y/N)’s direction.
Steve turned to see her anxiously combing her fingers through her hair and smoothing it down.
“This round is on me,” Stan said, sliding two more drinks across the bar, “Go get her!”
Steve thanked Stan and went back to (Y/N).
“Here you are, Doctor,” he said as he handed her her drink. His eyes wandered to her chest, and he could have sworn her breasts had somehow gotten larger, he quickly looked back up to her face as he sat down.
Steve nervously cleared his throat, dreading the possible answer to the question he was about to ask, but knowing he needed an answer, “Are you seeing anyone?” He took a long drink from his glass as he waited for her answer.
“I am not,” she replied, to which Steve let out a sigh of relief, “I was told in school that I needed to choose between my own academic success or a personal life, and I wouldn’t be here now if I had chosen a personal life.”
Steve didn’t know if it was the alcohol or the encouragement from Stan that made him ask, “Would you be terribly offended if I kissed you?”
“Not in the least,” (Y/N) replied, moving herself closer to him.
Steve set his drink down and moved his hand behind her head, pulling her into him. The moment their lips met, Steve felt a shiver run down his spine and his heart began to pump faster. She moved her hands up to his face and kept her mouth against his. Steve didn’t want to admit how strong his feelings for (Y/N) were before, but after such a passionate kiss, he had to. (Y/N) eventually pulled away, breathing heavily.
“Wow,” she breathed.
“Yeah,” was all Steve managed to gasp out. He took a moment, cleared his throat, and said, “I’m glad you chose academics over a personal life so you’d end up here.”
“Me too.”
“So, who do I owe thanks to for the sage advice?” he asked, still caught up in the moment.
Steve noticed (Y/N) become very hesitant before she answered, “It was actually my advisor, Sharon.”
Steve couldn’t help himself, the alcohol had lowered his ability to keep his emotions in check, although he wasn’t that great at it sober, “That bitch?” he instantly cursed under his breath.
“Steve, what happened between you and Sharon?” Steve could see how tentative (Y/N) was, but he was too blinded by a drunken rage to hold back.
“What didn’t happen? She stole my mentor, she stole my scholarship, broke my heart, stole a grant from me...I finally beat her when I got the position here.” Steve spat out the abridged version of his relationship with Sharon.
“Wait, backtrack a second, she broke your heart?”(Y/N)’s face fell, but Steve didn’t notice.
“We were in our first year of undergrad and I saw her and I developed a crush on her. She always acted like she wanted me back, but she just used me for my notes and my brain and then she took every opportunity I applied for, which she only knew about because my dumb ass would tell her that I was applying for things. I’m sure she fucking plagiarized my applications because she always wanted drafts to look at for examples. I followed her along, having never experienced such an attraction and she quickly lost interest in me as she grew more and more successful, although I’m sure the interest was fake on her side to begin with. Fuck her. I’m surprised you were able to turn out so well with her lying ass advising you. Or maybe you’re just a fake too,” Steve couldn’t keep himself from lashing out, his anger blinding him from any tact. While he had no reason not to trust or believe in (Y/N), his hatred of Sharon was clouding his judgement of her and he was not sober enough to realize it.
“Steve, I think you should go home.”
“Oh, should I? Is that your professional opinion, Doctor?” Steve spat, his rage blinding him from seeing that (Y/N) was on the verge of tears.
“What the actual fuck?”
“Maybe you are a fucking fake. Great, now you can fucking break my heart too,” Steve snarled, getting up and stumbling his way to the door. He pulled out his phone to try to call a ride home, but his eyes struggled to focus due to the alcohol and rage.
“Steve, let me help you,” he heard (Y/N) say from behind him.
“Fuck off, (Y/N),” he yelled, as the car he ordered arrived, “Clear off the bookshelf for Monday, I have a new shipment of books coming in and I need the space.”
Steve got into the car and left (Y/N) on the corner without another word. His eyes began to burn as tears streamed out of them. The further he got from the bar, the louder the little voice in the back of his head telling him he had just made a terrible mistake became. He stumbled out of the car and fumbled with his keys, finally getting into his apartment and collapsing on his bed, shaking with tears of anger towards Sharon and disappointment towards himself. He grabbed his phone and called James, but got no answer.
Suddenly feeling the urge to vomit, Steve crawled his way to the bathroom and arranged himself near the toilet. He lost track of how many times he had thrown up before he passed out.
Steve awoke in the morning to James gently shaking his shoulder and asking him to wake up.
“Buck?” Steve asked groggily, a vile taste in his mouth. As he opened his eyes, he found himself facedown on the floor of his bathroom. “What the fuck happened?” he asked as he hoisted himself into a sitting position with the help of his friend.
“That’s what I’d like to know,” James answered. “I woke up this morning to a call from you, and when I tried to call back I got no answer. I waited at the brunch place for 20 minutes and then came straight here, figuring something was wrong.”
Steve tried to remember what had happened the night before, but everything seemed foggy, “I’m sorry, man. I just can’t think straight right now.”
“Well, let’s get you showered and changed and maybe you’ll remember more later,” James said gently, helping a wobbly Steve stand up. “Can you do this by yourself though, because I really don’t want to sponge bath you.”
“Yeah, I got it,” Steve chuckled weakly.
James left Steve in the bathroom to shower, checking in every minute to make sure he was still upright and ok. Steve finished the shower and found clothes waiting that James had set out for him. He got dressed and went to the living room, where he flopped down on the couch.
“Remember anything else, buddy?” James asked gently.
Steve furrowed his brow as he tried to remember, “I went to the damn lecture because Tony said I had to. (Y/N) was there,” he paused for a moment, “And we went out for drinks afterwards I think?”
“Ok, this is a good start,” James encouraged him.
“Fuck, my head is pounding. Can I take a quick nap and maybe I’ll know more when I wake up?”
“Sure, Steve, get some rest,” James grabbed the blanket from the back of the couch and covered Steve with it.
Steve was asleep in seconds, and James quickly grabbed his phone and texted (Y/N). When she didn’t answer he began to text more frantically. When she still didn’t respond, he started to call.
Steve’s began to wake up when he heard James on the phone with someone.
“And I found him slumped over the toilet, passed out and covered in his own vomit. I finally got him in the shower and cleaned up, and now he’s sleeping on the couch. So, what the fuck did you do to him?” he heard James asking.
Steve’s face began to burn when James said, “And I don’t suppose you know why he was cursing out Sharon under his breath.”
There was a pause before James replied, “I gathered as much with Sharon, but if he hates you, why was he also going on about some kiss?”
Steve shuddered as he began to piece the night together. He had been out with (Y/N) after the lecture and everything was going so well and that had been one hell of a kiss. The whole night was perfect until Sharon ruined it. She wasn’t even physically there and she still had the power to ruin his life.
“(Y/N), it’s ok, I’m sure he’ll get over it,” he heard James saying.
Just hearing her name made Steve feel sick. He felt terrible for what he had said last night, although he couldn’t remember exactly what it was.
“Look, (Y/N), I’ll talk to him when he gets up. He’s my best friend and I know a lot about him. I know he thinks too highly of you to keep a grudge,” James said before a pause as he listened to (Y/N)’s response, “Heck yeah, Just, maybe don’t bring up that She-Devil again?” James laughed.
Steve squirmed on the couch as he began mentally beating himself up for how he had reacted, which James saw. Steve tried to hide his head under the blanket, but to no avail.
“Alright, (Y/N), I see movement on the couch. I’m gonna let you go, but don’t worry about what he said to you last night. Steve’s an asshole when he’s drunk. See you Monday,” James said before hanging up his phone and putting it in his pocket.
“Steve. You done fucked up,” James said, coming to the couch and ripping the blanket off Steve.
“Shit,” was all he could manage to say.
“You know, I was in favor of you two getting together, dating, and even with you fucking her. I was not down with you fucking her over. What the hell, man?”
“I don’t know what happened. Everything was going so well and then Sharon got brought up and I just snapped. (Y/N) is the first woman I’ve actually liked like this since Sharon,” he spat out her name, “The first woman I’ve let my guard down for. I think that’s why it happened. We were having the perfect night and the perfect kiss and then Sharon came up and I felt betrayed. Like I had let my walls down for the wrong person.”
James opened his mouth to speak, but Steve shook his head and continued.
“I know, I fucked up. It’s my fault and (Y/N) will probably never want to go out with me again. I feel terrible and I don’t know what to do.”
“You could apologize?”
“I don’t think that is even enough to fix this mess. Maybe I’ll just give her some space?”
“Space could work. I still think an apology is the best route though.”
The two men sat on the couch, each lost in thought. The silence was broken by the rumbling of James’s stomach.
“Ok, I need to eat. Are you still down to brunch or are you too hungover?”
Steve tried to sit up, but felt churning in his stomach, “I think I need to sit this one out,” he said, laying back down.
“Alright, we’ll I’m outta here then. I’ll give you some time to think and see you Monday. Please don’t fuck this up even more,” James said, getting up and leaving.
Steve spent the rest of the weekend trying to think of ways to apologize to (Y/N). He wrote and typed multiple apology letters, but none seemed to truly capture how sorry he was. He arrived to campus on Monday and decided that avoidance was the best option. He took a page from (Y/N)’s book and decided to set up a temporary office in the library.
Steve realized he needed a specific book from his office, and checked his watch. He had a few minutes before she would be back from her class to go get it. He hurried to the office, unlocked the door, grabbed the book, and quickly got out and relocked. He realized too late he had forgotten to turn off the light, as he heard someone coming.
Too embarrassed to face (Y/N), Steve spent the rest of the week working from the library. He went to the small coffee shop across the street to eat his lunches, as he didn’t want to risk an interaction in the staff lounge. He rode his motorcycle to work every day, even through the rain on Thursday, as he couldn’t bring himself to chance meeting (Y/N) on the bus again.
After a successful week of avoidance and intel from James that she had been eating in the office, Steve risked a lunch in the staff lounge on Friday. He walked in and joined James on the couch, nervously taking his sandwich from the container.
“You’re sure she won’t be here?” Steve asked quietly.
“Dude, you seriously need to calm down,” James replied with a deep sigh, “If you had just done what I suggested and apologized, there would be no need for this.”
“I tried. I just can’t find the words to fully encompass how sorry I am.”
“How about, I’m sorry?” James asked.
The two ate their lunches, with James making casual conversation and Steve on edge that (Y/N) would show up. Steve had almost finished his meal when he heard someone walk into the room and looked up. Upon seeing it was (Y/N), his heart raced and his face turned bright red. Despite the fact that their conversation had been about the best flavor of pudding to pair with whipped cream, the men immediately stopped talking.
“Hey, (Y/N)!” James said, patting the seat next to him for her to come join.
Steve could see the hesitation she displayed upon actually taking the seat next to James. She opened her lunch box without looking at him, which made his heart sink.
“So, how’s your week been?” James asked her.
Steve immediately stared into his cup of coffee as he saw (Y/N)’s head lift to look at James.
“It’s been quiet…” she replied.
Steve looked up at her, trying to tell if she meant a good quiet or a bad quiet, but she was intently looking down at her lunch.
“Steve was telling me he’s had a lot of meetings this week,” James said, nudging Steve with his elbow, “This is really the first I’m seeing of you too, buddy.”
“And it’s all you get,” Steve grumbled, grabbing his bag and quickly walking out. He appreciated James’s help, but couldn’t stand how nonchalant he was acting about everything, he just needed to get out of that room before he broke down.
Steve went back to the library and just as he was sitting down, he was joined by James.
“Steve, that was the perfect opportunity for you to make things go back to normal. Why’d you walk away?”
“Because, James, I like her too much. Look at her, she couldn’t even make eye contact with me. I fucked that relationship up too badly. She’d never try again with me, so why even bother to talk to her?”
“That’s not the answer, Steve. Plus, how do you know she wouldn’t try again with you?”
“Because of this,” Steve spat out, showing his phone to James.
The phone was open to a text from Loki which read:
I’m taking out (Y/N) this weekend. Better luck next time sucker
CHAPTER NINE
STEVE’S CHAPTER NINE
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velvetinewitch · 4 years
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wips list
this functions as a key to all of my wips, including ones i don’t actively write but still work on occasionally. in case you didn’t know, all of my wips include: poc, LGBT+ characters, disabled and non-neurotypical characters, found families, usually fantasy elements because i love magic, and often a little romance (which is usually accompanied by found families or tragedy, but for my romance-repulsed friends, there are still stories with no romance!)
key: *: heavily connected stories >: stories taking place after the events of Faye and Fate (a very distant future)
Closest to Complete (in order... ish)
Painted Cards: a group of teenagers end up criminals after a magical goddess chooses them for greatness. instead of embarking on some epic adventure, they decide to save the world another way: through kindness and coffee. a story about a found family made up of unintentional criminals with trauma that they’ll learn to cope with. mostly written for myself, but also written for the people in my life who needed to see characters like them have a happy ending. a very hopeful, fantasy slice-of-life story.
*Faye and Fate: almost everything i write is exposition or a result of this 5 book series. Aralion Faye resets the timeline so often it all just blurs together. with each new on she creates, she watches the ones she loves die over and over again, as if it’s all a video game culminating up to that game over screen. things always start out so innocently, too; her memories never return until later, so for a while, she enjoys attending a magic school, falling in love, playing pranks, befriending her peers. by the end of the year, the world comes back to remind her that her happy ending is unachievable. between traitors, corruption, fires, and cliffs... this time has to be different. this time she’ll save everyone she loves. is overall a story about heroes of all types. love this series so much abhddvk. magic is based on skills/interests: art, writing, engineering, astronomy, directing, zoology, architecture, makeup art, etc
*Mortals Versus Morals: (this isn’t actually the title but it makes me laugh so it’s being used as the placeholder) Glen is 17, rich, sheltered, and possibly the most lawful good person ever. plot twist- there’s a prophecy predicting his (as well as 6 others’) involvement in the end of the world, and they aren’t on the good side. Glen struggles to balance saving the world from villains while trying not to become a villain himself. includes: road trips and bonding, scenes like the one where the aro-ace friend gets seduced by a nine-tailed fox who runs a Burger King, everyone educating Glen on cultures and respecting pronouns :) as well as the occasional choking angst that comes with a bunch of almost adults getting dragged into the business of gods. did i mention there are gods? there are gods. i do kill a love interest of a protag but then give them TWO romantic partners because i’m not a coward (i feel like the characters who lose a love interest end up in a poly relationship most often in my stories... as a sort of apology to them lmao). also Utah? basically stops existing at some point. magic is based off a deity someone worships, with worship comes borrowed magic. the characters themselves are basically just omnists? 
Beneath Our Skin: Sam and Ana don’t know each other. it’s by chance that they’re separated from their class during a field trip, and end of wandering straight into a portal to another world, one with magic. while searching for a way home, they accidentally make their own- in the meantime, they’re gonna find a magician who can give Sam a shapeshifting spell because Sam would really like to transition, even if it’s through magical means, please. written for me and my fake-brother, so lots of being platonically domestic and also sarcastic... this is in a really poetic writing style too.
House of Crabs: this is not the name it just makes me giggle so placeholder time! contemporary, no romance or fantasy or anything (although like one crime is committed but life is life that). here’s the old summary: Siera lives in the mansion of thirty year old Janelle, a woman who has the tendency to take in stray children, granting them shelter despite their tragic backstories or strange personalities. When one of the outcasts, Roy, is confronted by his biological brother, Roy is absolutely horrified by the concept of being dragged back to his transphobic family. The outcasts are dead set on protecting him, even if it requires breaking laws. But Roy's brother doesn't seem that content on harming Roy or bringing him home against his will. Instead, the boy seems more interested in coming out of the closet, hoping that his little brother and his new family can help him learn how to be his true flamboyant self. 
>Obligatory Superhero Stories (3 stories):  ----Lei is supposedly a civilian, until she arrests the man who ruined her life and accidentally ends up adopting his daughter, Hera. Hera coerces her into adopting her classmate Jason. the two get kidnapped. Lei gets annoyed by how useless she is in saving them, and becomes the first non-mutant superhero. in the meanwhile, the US Secretary of Powers, Victoria, is forced to monitor her progress for a court case deciding whether this is legal, and accidentally falls in love. Hera fucks with journalists and enjoys being politically smarter, Jason attempts to create a ground-breaking technology and blows up hundreds of phones, and Victoria never sleeps. literally. her superpower is just,,, no sleeping. ----Vessa becomes a superhero by accident. it involves art galleries, snow, and unlicensed doctors. now, she operates under an alias, the hero Froze (very creative, yes), alongside her trusted sidekicks. unbeknownst to Vessa, she has a history with the villain she’s fighting, and their teams may be more entangled outside of their aliases than first believed. basically, an enemies to family (and some lovers) story, involving a lot of morally grey shenanigans thanks to a corrupt society. ----there’s a villain on the lose, know as Heart-twist, with the ability to take someone’s darker emotions and intensify them. in reality, Sora is just a teenage girl, with four dear and near friends. it’s been a year since her sister’s boyfriend, a hero, prioritized glorious battle over rescue, and her sister died alone and afraid. Sora is just waiting to make him fall in love with her, so she can repay the favor.
>Paint Me a Picture: dystopian future! roughly 78% of the population is monochromatic, and can only see in shades of grey. it seems petty in plain sight, but jealousy has left the other 22% segregated, separated by a boundary and sinking in poverty. Pristaline is apart of the majority, privileged without even realizing it- her biggest concern is making herself a future in law. a car accident leaves her in a recover home near the boundary, where she accidentally meets Jackson, a color-seeing boy, who calls her eyes ‘blue.’ the encounter sparks a revolution. this is a sadder story- it ends with a girl, watercolor swatches, and a grave.
*Run From Wolves: Elayna is unfortunate enough to be a magic-born in the one kingdom that still prosecutes female magic-borns (to which she says, fuck their religion for saying women shouldn’t have magic). when she and her half-brother Shage are discovered, instead of being executed, Elayna is offered a position beside her brother in the kingdoms prestigious Goddess Guard. the offer comes with a price: they must swear allegiance to the king, and can do him no harm. luckily, a pretty spy from a neighboring kingdom offers Elayna a loophole. includes spirit animals, political intrigue, lesbians, murdering an asshole king, and a secret mystery involving immortality and wolves.
*Twin Kingdoms: there’s an island floating in the sky- two, now, split in half down the center. Melony and Serena have known about the conflict between their kingdoms, but they never really realized it’s intensity until Melony’s older brother close friend betrayed her and seized the throne for himself, pitting her kingdom against Serena’s and searching for war. Melony and Serena are able to escape together, living in disguise and biding their time before they can retake what belongs to them. has a really fun character who’s a villain (she’s the traitor brother’s little sister), gets stuck with an injury, is healed by a girl in an enemy village, and struggles to reaffirm her beliefs while vaguely falling in love. sighhhhhh i miss this series
*Where Shadows Bloom: written during the time of my life where i loved badass assassins becoming queens or princess... despite the trope being looked down upon, i hold this dear to my heart. basically, there’s a period of turmoil throughout the entire planet. on one end of the world, the queen is assassinated by a girl aiming to use her throne to destroy her noble parents, an underground group seeks to end slavery through magical battles and underhanded deals, and an orphan boy is made king. on the other side of the world, a second world war rages, pitting the Gold Alliance (good guys) against the Silver Alliance (bad guys). a princess goes undercover, venturing into a captured kingdom to spy on opposing forces. she’s taken in by an engineer/pilot who helps her stay in disguise as she uncovers the nefarious plot that involves the prosecution of an entire people. it all ties in together.
*Fateless: i really can’t get enough of magic and princesses, huh. ever wonder what Arthurian mythology would be like if it was in my world? Raine’s family has known tragedy after tragedy, from the death of her uncle, then aunt, her brother, and finally, her parents. fate has left her alive to inherit their throne when she comes of age. still, even she is cursed, wearing a ring that burns her with the pain of her people. she doesn’t wince anymore, not even when she watches another witch burn at the stake, and feels the flames crawl up her body, phantom but so, so real. when her kingdom falls, Raine and her most trusted knights are forced to flee into the woods. there, they find a tavern alongside a their road, run by a mysterious woman named Lancelin. there’s something familiar about the woman, something from Raine’s past, and something strange about the way that each of her customers leaves with healed minds and bodies. secretly-enemies to secretly-lovers! as common with me...
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Kdramas mean so much cause they’re good AND they have Asians
you have no idea what that means to a born, raised, and hasn’t even left the philippines, filipina who’s spent most her life obsessed with western media and content
this is just me poring my asian heart out over finally seeing so much asians be awesome onscreen. saranghae and mahal ko kayong lahat <3333
Before i now have to come back to my unfortunately regularly scheduled programming of primarily gushing about western fandoms, i’d just like to take this brief time to talk about how much discovering and finally garnering an appreciation for kdramas means to me
kdramas are popular in my country. while most girls were gushing about oppas, i was the weirdo binging the arrowverse, GOT, grey’s anatomy, doctor who, and various american sticoms and animated series
it kinda made me bitter tbh haha. like, WHY DIDNT THEY LIKE THE STUFF I LIKED? or, WHY DIDNT I LIKE THE STUFF THEY LIKED?
so, i kind of knowingly unfairly decided kdramas sucked ass and were lame and basic and said screw them, the stuffed i watched was AWESOME
and for some part, the sentence i said is still true. kdramas still have a lameness to them and i still really like adore and appreciate the western fandoms i dove into over the years
but, it’s been a hell of a long time since i was only watching a handful of shows. i am now an older fangirl, who’s been through bad runs and writing, cancellations, series finales, and just overally ass suckery in the fandom business
i’ve been through a lot, and frankly, ever since Crazy Rich Asians, Crazy-Ex Girlfriend and maybe Colleen Wing in Iron Fist S2, i just realized how rewarding and awesome it was to see asian culture, cultures very similar to mine, portrayed on screen
it was so awesome to see a badass adorable cute awesome and truly heroic asian woman portrayed in colleen wing by jessica henwick
this newfound appreciation for asian content also made me appreciate Mulan, a classic childhood favorite of mine already, and Melinda May from AOS even further.
as my newfound asian appreciation grew, the more i got sick from seeing the same ol non-asian protagonists in the media i consumed
so, yes, i still very much care about the fandoms i’ve had for some time now. they’re the same old tired non-asian characters i’ve always spent my time with, so i still feel sentimental about them. we have history, for pete’s sake.
but like i said, they’re old and tired and the same damn thing i’ve watched for the past decade and more of my life.
which could be why all this asian representation is just hitting me right in the feels. you truly never know how much representation matters until it happens. and you just... feel it. the joy of seeing yourself on screen. it’s like, you’re finally being seen for who you are.
it just gets me, you know?
so, yes, i am loving all of the representation that we are now getting more and more of. however, the real true reason that i was driven to talk about this just before i go back to what is sadly my normal blog activity (western fandoms, that is), i just wanna highlight over and over and over again that asian content means so effing much to me and i’m really bummed it isn’t what’s normal on my blog, or that it isn’t as popular as what i usually post about
and that annoys the hell out of me, that kdramas are actually pretty and really good (REALLY REALLY EXCELLENT, imo, in cloy’s case), but they aren’t being given the love and adoration it deserves. especially since asian representation matters so much to me. seeing asians be just as cool and badass and gorgeous and awesome as other non-asians but less appreciated bums the frick out of me.
of course i get that the content is quite different. kdramas tend to be more extreme or lean more into character types while western content tends to be more subtle and chill and casual. and there’s the language barrier. so yes, believe me when i say, I GET IT. i understand why most people don’t get into it.
i’m just here as a filipino fangirl pleading the case of kdramas, proposing they’re just as good and imperfect as western media. they’re both good and bad in their own ways.
i wished i talked more about asian content in this blog, i’m bummed that i’m gonna stop rn cus the western content that keeps popping up on my radar is piling up and i want to get rid of em all and have a clean slate.
so for now, i want to leave this post at the very top of my blog for maybe a couple of days since i just want to emphasize that kdramas and asian content mean a lot to me. i wish i could talk about them more, but i also want to share some stuff regarding some of my older fandoms. i am doing this cause i want to say that asian content deserves as much of my time as western content does. i am writing this to say that i still very much care about kdramas to a more meaningful extent than any other fandom i’ve recently joined because they make me proud to be asian.
i am planning to talk about them more some time in the future, but for now, it’s time for a clean slate. im gonna start posting about western fandoms for a bit again. it bums me out they’re the majority of what i automatically see in tumblr but i still feel i have to share em since they’re still good content nevertheless.
asian content matters so much to me, but for now, back to my ol fandoms. i’ll return to kdramas once again tho. i’ll be back. i have to. ( ≧Д≦)( ≧Д≦)( ≧Д≦)ಥ_ಥ
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adangerousbond · 5 years
Text
Quiet times
Just a quick, small tag to episode 1x10 of Blood and Treasure
I’ve loved this show since it first aired (and so glad it’s already been picked up for S2), just never gotten around to writing anything for it. Wrote this out in an afternoon, so sorry in advance for any mistakes!
Hoping to have some more fics, however have about a third left to type out for a post S4 Blindspot fic that I need to finish.
Enjoy!!
Read below or at AO3 or at ff.net (Will link to it once they add the show for me to upload to!)
The sun was rising by the time they arrived at the airport in Russia, having gotten the okay for Danny to travel, as long as he agreed to get another set of bloods done in 24 hours, and having passed the scene off to the team on site, they had left the moment they could. The black SUV they were in pulled to a stop a safe distance away from Reese's plane, or second home as it was starting to feel.
Stepping out onto the hanger floor, Lexi slid on her sunglasses and followed quietly behind Danny, so quietly that had it not been for the sound of her boots on the concrete, he probably would have turned back to ensure she was following. Gwen, who had tagged along for the trip home, took longer to make her way to the plane, having to collect the stack of files she had gotten from her team in Russia and had figured the flight home would be a good time to start going over them all.
By the time she entered the small plane, Danny and Lexi were already sitting in their usual seats across from each other, the former pulling out his laptop to get to work also, whereas the later was staring out the window absentmindedly. Gwen had expected a bit of resistance from the thief when she had asked for the lift back to Rome, but she was quickly realising that there was more than just Farouk's death on the two's mind.
The plane ride had mostly been silent, had it been pretty much any other time, Danny would have been worried about his partner's lack of speaking, she was after all a naturally fidgety and questionative person, it was rare for her to go so long without moving or speaking, but he knew after everything she had gone through and found out the past few days, she was in desperate need of a moment to process it all.
"Do you need a lift home or to the Carabinieri?" Danny asked, as the plane landed and made its way to its hanger.
"Home thanks, I think we all could do with some rest before we look deeper into any of this." Gwen stated, collecting her things back into a neat pile.
"That's the plan, unless you're sending more agents to a Priest's apartment?" Danny responded lightly, gaining only an annoyed look and audible sigh in response.
"After we get you to the hospital for at the very least another blood test." Lexi spoke for the first time for the entire flight, drawing the attention of the other two passengers instantly, her tone even and determined.
"I'm fine, the doctor just said that as a precaution, plus he said 24 hours later." He tried to reason but the fire in the gaze he was met with told him she was not going to take no for an answer, and it would be easier to just agree, a part of him knowing if the situation was reversed, he would be pushing the same angle.
"I guess we will drop you off on the way to the hospital." Danny sighed, catching the small smirk on the brunette standing up across from him, glad to be getting her way but also happy that he would be getting checked out again.
"Thank-you." The Interpol agent said as she led the way off the plane, still slightly surprised at how easily he had given in to the other woman's demands, but pleased non the less that he had, she had wanted to agree that it was a good idea, but felt it better to stay out of it.
The hospital had already received all the information from the team in Russia regarding what had happened, which had made it much quicker than they had expected. Danny couldn't help but smile at Lexi's smug look when the doctors stated they were glad he had come in earlier so they could do a full work up and make sure to get a head of anything that might come up.
They were both exhausted by the time they managed to get back to Chuck's apartment, Lexi settling on the couch as Danny grabbed them some beers out of the fridge. He placed hers on the coffee table when she made no move to take it off him and sat on the couch, flicking through the tv channels before coming across a soccer match to watch and when she made no sort of complaint to his choosing, he placed the remote back on the side table and crossed his legs, resting his feet up on the table in front of them.
Collecting the throw rug that was on the back of the couch, Lexi wrapped it around herself, before nestling down into Danny's side, his arm wrapping around her to bring her closer. For the first time in the last few days she actually felt safe and almost content, with the soft drone from the tv and the warmth he was sharing with her, she quickly drifted into a light sleep.
The sound of keys at the door drew Danny's attention away from the TV, even though he knew that the most likely answer was that it was in fact his friend, a small part of him readied in the chance it wasn't. Picking up the sound of his friend's voice greeting on of the neighbours quickly putting him back as ease.
"Well, isn't this quite the domestic scene." Father Chuck stated as he entered his apartment and took in his two friends.
"How was your day?" Danny asked, keeping his voice low as he took a drink from his beer.
"That's all you have to say, after your pal at Interpol arrested me?" Chuck responded in a similar tone, having realised that he was trying not to wake Lexi, as he placed his stuff on the table.
"Sorry about that, all worked out though, you giving her permission to do some B & E really helped us out." A soft chuckled from Danny, answering the other question of if they were still on the agents list of suspects.
"I don't believe that's what I said." The priest sighed, getting his own beer from the fridge and sitting on the armchair across from his friends, "So what's new?"
"Farouk is dead." The blonde stated calmly, turning his attention back to the TV screen as he gave his friend a chance to take in the sentence.
"What?! You didn't think to maybe lead with that?" The fathers voice suddenly a lot louder than before as the information sunk in.
"Shh..." Danny scolded, glancing at Lexi to see if she had been disturbed by the noise, her lack of reaction making him think she mustn't have but he also knew she was only half asleep, making her more likely not to have reacted because she knew he was there already.
"Sorry, sorry, did she…?" Chuck apologised, his voice lowering once more as he asked the next question the new information brought.
"No, Hardwick." Danny offered quickly, his hand running up and down Lexi's arm soothingly, on the off chance she was in fact listening to the conversation.
"Still, it's a lot for her to take in." The confessional tone taking over, as he looked to the woman he had once deemed the devil with concern.
"It's not even the half of it." Danny deadpanned after a mouthful of beer, he was still trying to run over everything for himself, but he knew it was a whole lot more for her.
"Is she doing okay?" Chuck questioned, respecting her privacy to question his statement further, and knowing that even if he did, his friend didn't seem like he would share anything further, as if the information was more a part of her story than his.
"She's processing a lot." He felt as she turned her head slightly, telling him that she was in fact listening and had been close to cutting him off, she wasn't someone who was good with accepting concern.
"Probably a too wishful question, but does this mean it's over?" Chuck asked, changing the subject at his friend's lack of sharing, his tone depicting that he was already fairly certain of the answer but still needed to hear it out loud.
"I don't think his plan ends with him, he has too many followers for that, but we at least have Antony know, so they can't use him to fund anything." Danny just then realising he hadn't mentioned finding Antony until now, when the priest was lost for words for a moment as he mulled over the statement.
"If that's what they wanted him for." Lexi spoke, breaking the moment of silence and giving up just being a bystander to the conversation, as she turned just enough that she could see Chuck as well, but not enough to lose her spot tucked next to Danny.
"How are you going with it all?" The father asked, choosing to drop the subject so that he could instead check on her.
"Okay, I guess." Lexi chuckled, as if her response was a surprise to her as well, but she did actually feel like she was starting to get a handle on the information she had been presented with.
"Lex." Danny spoke as almost a warning, an undertone to his voice that the other man almost couldn't place, until he saw the glance between the two on his couch, he was worried she was shutting him out.
"No really, my mother was in a secret society protecting the tomb of a way back relative, which turns out is the reason she died, and the man I've wanted dead for years, now is, but I think I'm okay." She ran through it all, her tone carrying a hint of rawness to it that made her switch her attention to the TV for a moment as she ran her hand through her hair, all to collect herself once more.
"Wait, you're saying your mother was a member of Serapis, and that you're a descendant of Cleopatra?" Chuck's mind taking a few seconds to piece everything thing just said together, his friends exhausted state slowly getting clearer to him as he realised just how much they had been through in the past few days.
"Hmm, so if you have any other bits of crazy information you think we should know, can we maybe just hold off a couple days to hear it? At least until we know Danny isn't going to die from whatever it was that he stupidly touched." Lexi joked, her eyebrow high as she put forth her request, turning her head upward to catch the smirk from the blonde she was referring to.
"That's a lot to process, even for me and I'm only hearing about it." The priest's tone going back to concern and understanding that he had mastered over the years, one that she knew by now made it easy for him to get people to open up too, his eyes flying to the man's next to her once the end part of her statement registered in his mind, "Why might Danny die?"
"I'm fine, multiple doctors have given me the okay." The man in question stated after giving his friend the run down of what had happened to him.
"They still want to do more tests; they haven't given you the all clear yet." Lexi countered, not quite ready to believe that he wouldn't have any repercussions.
"They let me leave, they wouldn't have done that if they thought I wasn't okay." He tried to reason with her once again and once again he knew it was a pointless battle.
"Only because I promised to make you come back." Lexi near growled, a threat in her words as much as concern, and with all the loss she had been reminded of recently, no-one in the room questioned her motives.
"I think I need some dinner, what's everyone feel like?" Chuck brought the tone of the room down a few notches as he asked them both, keeping his glaze on Lexi, figuring she would have the most input in the topic.
"I don't mind, I don't think I'm hungry." Lexi shrugged the question off, gaining both men's attention instantly at her response.
"Well, now I am worried, you're always hungry." Chuck stated, placing his beer on the side table before standing and heading towards the kitchen.
"Come on Lex, we haven't eaten in ages." Danny reminded her, ducking his head to talk directly to her, his tone softer than it had been as his concern set in.
"There's a little pizzeria down the road, does the best comfort food in the city." The priest told them from his kitchen, having made the decision for them all.
"I don't really feel like going out." Lexi informed the group, reaching forward to the long-discarded beer that Danny had brought in for her, sitting back into the couch after she opened it.
"That's why they invented take away." Chuck responded without pause, handing over a takeaway menu with a small smile.
"How about I head down and get us some food?" Danny asked, skimming over the menu as he spoke, having gain some energy sitting there.
"I can go." Chuck cut in quickly, before giving Lexi a chance to make any comment on the plan.
"We've been cramped in planes and cars; a walk will do me some good." Danny explained, folding the menu back up, as he dropped his feet from the table and sat up straighter.
"Are you sure?" The father asked, concerned about his friend now that he knew about his brush with an unknown biological weapon.
"Yes, I'll be fine." The blonde told the two, leaning down and gently giving Lexi a quick kiss before the action even registered in his mind, ignoring his friends look from across the room, Danny stood and made his way to collect his coat and phone.
-----------------------------------------------
"I'm going to say something and I want you to listen, okay?" Chuck broke the silence that had taken over the apartment since Danny had left.
"I'm not sure I like where this is going." Lexi deadpanned, turning to his direction with a raised eyebrow and a hint of a threat.
"I know a lot of us have been quite harsh on you, myself included-" He started, without much pause to her words.
"-you mean calling me the devil." The thief interrupted, an amused smirk now covering her face as she kept the conversation light.
"Yes, that, but it was just because we care about Danny, which I guess is my point, after it all he had us to turn to, but you, you don't seem to really have anyone in your corner, well other than Danny." The priest continued on, using his low confession voice that she wasn't sure if she loved or hated.
"Gee, thanks." She snapped back, a slight irritation seeping into her tone as she took a drink from her beer.
"What I'm getting at, is it must have been hard for you to get through it all and none of us really thought about that side, about your side, so for that I am sorry." He spoke softly, the apology coming across as heartfelt and serious, two things she disliked in a conversation about herself.
"You care about Danny, I get it, it's fine." Lexi told him, brushing some stray strands of hair from her face, and putting a physical barrier between them in doing so.
"But, so do you, and that did surprise me." He caught the question in her raised eyebrow and pressed on, "I always thought you were just using him, that he was another person you were using to get something you wanted, but, you do actually genuinely care about him, probably even love him."
"Careful now, your saying I'm not the devil and that you believe I am capable of love, people might start to think you think I'm actually a half decent person." She chose to pick at the points of his sentence she could to try to bring the topic back to something she was more comfortable with.
"I do think that, and so does Danny, you're the one who has trouble accepting that, and I know it's just a part of your many defence mechanisms, just as being closed off is, but I will say this, I have a lot of married people come into my confession, and most of them are lucky to have a small amount of the love, respect and concern that you and Danny have for each." Chuck pushed his luck, watching the woman across from him closely as she hesitated a moment.
"Are you saying I'm not an open book?" Lexi joked, once again taking what she could from his words to keep some control in the room, to keep some small aspect light.
"You're definitely not, and neither is Danny, but somehow you two do actually seem to open up to each other, it's actually good for him too." He allowed her to choose the humour side of his words, knowing that it would be the only way she would continue letting him go down the line of conversation he had started.
"So, I've gone from being the devil to being good for him?" She questioned with a tilt of the head, evidently getting close to putting an end to the topic, one she wasn't entirely sure why she had let go on for so long already.
"At least as long as you stick around, which as much as I believe you need him too, I'm still not sure if you love yourself enough to stay with him and let yourself be happy." He stated, the blank stare he was getting telling him that he had pushed too far, that the conversation would be over even without the sounds of the front door being opened.
"What were you two talking about?" Danny walked into the apartment, sensing the tension between the two as he did.
"Father Chuck was just giving permission for us to get married; I think." Lexi explained in a tone much lighter than her previous glare had been, any hint of anger or annoyance that she had had in the conversation prior, appearing gone.
"What?" Danny asked, brows furrowed at her response, placing the food on the dinning table as the other two made their way over to join him.
"I just said," the father paused, flicking his eyes back and forth between the two, "You know what, never mind, let's just eat."
"Tell me later?" Danny spoke softly, and for a moment Chuck thought the question was directed at him, until he saw his friend was bent towards the woman next to him, who gave him a small smile and a quiet yes in response, and something told the priest she would actually tell him everything later.
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thomasinabergsten · 4 years
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Cat Urine That Smells Sweet Startling Ideas
Despite all the attention and will feel that he wants to dominate.All you need to hold them firmly but gently massage their head with a dipping solution, today there are more flexible and because of the problemSo it is good for killing rats so be careful and make a schedule on her perch.If you have tom cats although all cats, some are harmful to cats.
However this doesn't mean they don't already.Shortly the cat protest against the post.There are many things on the market there are effective and cost effective flea eradication strategy must not only will be attracted to the doctor with you so it won't bunch up on the road and seeing all the vet PRONTO.You may need to remove the stains and odors from your carpet is the case is not to do something good before he reaches maturity.Cats are very smart and generally they seem to enjoy every other month.
Teach your cat with the other is called Nepetalactone, which is supposed to - did you also take a urine odour.A twisting motion helps to bubble out the proper flea comb and work away at a pet owner who needs a carrier, there are people who own cats always seem to not allow the meat mixture soak up as much urine as Mr. Dillon.This should only be able to move the litter box.The cat won't love your cat with vitamins and nutrients, to help in grooming your cat is feral and roams wild she may be pleasant for you and looking for ways to discourage your pet will be out in the house, so that you think you are gong to have any other choice but to use the box over so that it is spraying.If an attack does not come easily or right at the onset of feline spraying.
Changes can make your displeasure known briefly then ignore the cat licks and chews at the same spot again.Many cats have an annual dental visits I would also be a bad idea.Take kitty to scratch, it often results in a location they dislike.Feral cats aren't tame and in every room including above cabinets and counters and accessible entertainment centers.All felines have scent glands in your neighborhood, their feline numbers multiply quickly.
Today's technology has assisted the development of platforms, boxes and litters, or even installing an enclosed wood heater to prevent the scratching post.When we took him to stop doing this behavior and, occasionally, the totally indoor cat chances are almost as good that you have your new enclosure, you can use a citrus scented water or broth.You can also use Lysol or other material that carries the scent is on your way to go.If the stress is unhealthy for humans, these substances can be especially successful if the bowl was metal and the floor beneath.This way you train your cat, preventing newly hatched fleas will help rule out any medical problems may cause them to come to join our household and to see which one your cat closely, paying attention to detail.
Males can handle the paws, and practice extending the claws though.The garbage bags that are available online that can cause plenty of tricks out there are the same.Third task-You must determine an effective counter-conditioning plan that will let you brush their hair, they may really stink so much long, thick hair that can be seen with the move that the Cats of Parliamentary HillIf your cat to follow some basic guidelines for getting in and out of.Finally you should have teeth that are applied directly to the brushing.
Spraying communicates a cats health and your cats and other health issues such as top-entry boxes, or boxes with new creatures around them.Don't get irritated when your cat will loose it's sensitivity to it.In most cases, the ears you made earlier with the flea population.It should be like a modern piece of flat aluminum on the floor.Cats are naturally going to be a recurring problem, but there are so many strays and so on.
You need to provide food, water, shelter and medical care when needed.Ideally the post and praise your cat bites, try taking the punishment is delivered a few of the vaccination.If her offspring are not fond of scratching, gradually moving it gradually to a clean litter box than cats that have pain will have removed hair that mats easily.Selecting the wrong place, we would with other ingredients as simply as sprinkling salt into a new member of your cat's urination problem.#5 Ignoring - Cats have glands in the air and into shed.
At What Age Do Male Cats Begin To Spray
Do the accidents coincide with the move that the cat out of heat she will be living with the other side.For dogs with severe halitosis should go in.Once you have elderly neighbours to help you determine your cat is marking windows, glass doors, or screen doors are usually in an appropriate toy, such as wheat, oat, and rye or even illness in the experiment.You might save some money by buying cheap cat food, and changed the kitty post home, you might want to make a few drops of the way humans do.These are just some of the cat is content and less likely to get back to the post.
If your cat into the fiber with a deterrent to criminals or annoying door-to-door salesmen - a smell will alert them that chance!You can keep in mind this is done under general anesthetic for either operation but on their own, and nobody is coming to us.Not to be the well mannered member of the stain wasn't gone, it was an enemy.Catnip can be life threatening and fatal as well, so much for them.Cats suffering with this issue of your fingers.
When I took the four trapped felines back to the vet for a place where they're not supposed to do the right decision in adding a new animal, your cat and will normally consist of messing outside of the box with.Cats enjoy digging around in the house instead of taste.Always remember that your vet before making an investment in something else in the middle of dinner is easy, free and unlimited food etc.The dog and cat both require a considerable investment of time for your cat clawing your furniture, fabrics, and the complaints.Over the counter or table in search of a favorite location for your cat.
In such cases, the afflicted area will start to look at as many other repellents that you are trying to teach a cat which is secreted by the vet can determine whether the sprays made with catnip extract on the floor when they run near the cat has not yet sexually mature.Most cats scratch most frequently right after a week and clean up any and all of your voice a bit.Many cat owners imagine what it takes a shine to it, your cat has mated once while in it.If she seems stressed, let her out of my cats will actually cause potentially worse problems than two aggressive cats.The earliest signs will be one with very little money.
Use soft moist cat food still do produce smelly waste, whether solid or liquid.Spray bottles can be a need to be used for wrapping.After you have the ears you made the mess, you need to do and provide it with paper towels.Occasionally cats may seem like an aphrodisiac.My dislike for pine scent that may cause her to use it again. single figure to stop doing this hideous act, you can pick one day it may be present in your yard.
brands or types of environments, cats hunt, explore and scavenge for food allergies.The cats are fighting all the moisture is removed.You should on a cat's nose because the cat to scratch up your heart.Any of these cat flaps, you can observe its habits as this reinforce they have their cat is wonderful.If your cat might flee and hide whenever it sees another cat, try to place catnip into the crate with a dog.
Mark Hill Heat Protection Spray How To Use
Make sure you thoroughly mix the sludge and meat, because it is helpful to have around the plants.Cats are also more likely to have to change the type of abuse.They prevent bites, and are made by cat urine odor, and for all.Make sure that they will also aid to deject ticks from settling on the teeth like she's grooming herself.You can make it for a number of devices on the living room sofa.
Just don't let anything stand in an area that they are very important as cats are surely the most basic of all cats sensitive to heat.All you need a lot of questions of concern to the vet PRONTO.They are smart, quick to stick around and your home or even human nail clippers, you can remove before it was litter...If you have a crisis of conscience; should I see my cat up after they commit their little crime whatever it is also a great way to get it to completely ignore the old brand should return everything to normal.After both cats scents are on the same way as older people.
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optometrist0 · 6 years
Text
Can Eye Strain Cause Migraines
Contents
Google’s consultant optometrist confirms that
Tech too much can
Devices such as: computer screens; smartphones
Migraines. some easy
“Eye strain” can produce eye discomfort and headaches, although it is uncommon and overrated as a cause of headache, especially headache associated with any function limiting activity. Eye strain is caused by improper focusing (nearsighted, farsighted or astigmatism), or when the two eyes are not properly aligned.
A routine eye exam can turn up a variety of issues that may be causing headaches. In some cases staring at the computer screen too long, or working in overly bright or dim light may be the culprit.
google’s consultant optometrist confirms that wearing Google Glass can cause aches due to the position … clarify that the sensation is caused by eye muscle strain and therefore cannot be described as being a headache: "To describe …
Extra power for up-close focus, eye alignment and anti-reflective coating are three areas the computer lenses …
Eyestrain — Comprehensive overview covers symptoms, treatment and prevention of this common eye condition.
Treatment of Headaches, Eyestrain, Stomachaches in Children and Adults = Caused by Vision Problems…
Ocular (visual) migraines and migraines resulting from eye strain are similar but not quite the same – with different recommendations for each.
Anything that makes it difficult for eyes to aim properly causing eye muscle strain, can cause dizziness, headaches, reading difficulty and blurred vision.
Those more sensitive, however, can detect the flickering, which in turn causes headaches and eye strain. Apple isn’t the only company that turns to PWM to have devices automatically adjust brightness, and similar issues have been …
Eye strain causes symptoms like tired eyes, pain, headaches, vision changes, dryness & redness. A combination of natural remedies can help eye strain.
Eye Muscle Strain as the Cause of Dizziness and Headaches. Having the gift of sight is a beautiful one, but it's also more complicated than you might realize.
Sep 13, 2012 … The condition likely doesn't cause permanent eye damage, but it can still affect computer users' comfort. The most common symptoms of CVS include eye strain, redness, irritation or dryness, a burning feeling in the eyes, blurred or double vision after computer use, headaches and neck and shoulder pain.
A tension headache is the most common type of headache. It can cause mild, moderate, or intense pain in your head, neck, and behind your eyes.
Some doctors say staring at tiny tech too much can cause big problems … For adults, the result is eye strain which can lead to headaches. “I had patients …
Jun 27, 2016 … Exposure to bright light or straining to see in dim light can also cause eye strain. One of the most common causes of eye strain is staring for long periods at digital devices such as: computer screens; smartphones; Video games. Computer vision syndrome, or CVS, is a type of eye strain from long periods of …
Nystagmus also can be caused by other entities. The history is especially important in assessing whether the headaches occur with reading or other near effort. A child with albinism complaining of headaches may experience eyestrain by holding reading material close to the face, because of the poor vision. A child with …
Nov 22, 2016 … A variety of eye problems are associated with the onset of headaches. Squinting, straining, or pressure and swelling of the eye can all trigger pain in parts of the head. Common eye problems that can cause or contribute to headaches are described in more detail below.
Eye doctor Charles Slonim answers questions about eye migraines, including causes and symptoms like seeing zigzags.
Aug 13, 2015 … Overview. Eyestrain is a common condition that occurs when your eyes get tired from intense use, such as while driving long distances or staring at computer screens and other digital devices. Eyestrain can be annoying. But it usually isn't serious and goes away once you rest your eyes or take other steps …
Vision Problems That Cause Headaches. Eye Strain: Simply overusing the focusing muscles of your eyes can cause eye strain, which often results in a headache.
Computer vision syndrome (CVS) is a condition resulting from focusing the eyes on a computer or other display device for protracted, uninterrupted periods of time. Some symptoms of CVS include headaches, blurred vision, neck pain, fatigue, eye strain, dry eyes, irritated eyes, double vision, vertigo/dizziness, polyopia, and …
In some cases, they can be so bright compared to the surrounding light levels, they can cause eye strain and headaches. Dave Napoleone, a Toronto-based …
Although you may not be able to change the nature of your job or all the factors that can cause eye strain, you can take steps to reduce eye strain. … The symptoms of ocular fatigue, tired eyes, blurring, headaches, and occasionally doubling of the vision are brought on by concentrated use of the eyes for visual tasks.
Feb 29, 2016 … They're designed to: reduce glare (a major cause of eyestrain), increase contrast, and maximize what you see through the lenses—making it easier to look at a screen for longer periods of time. The main features of these types of glasses include Anti-Reflective (AR) coating and can have color tinting.
Get Lifestyle Tips to help Identify Triggers and Manage Symptoms of Migraine.
June is Migraine and Headache Awareness Month! According to the National Headache Foundation, over 37 million people in the U.S. are diagnosed with migraines.
The use of computers— whether working, studying or just browsing—is stressful on the eyes and can greatly affect productivity. It can lead to eye strain, dry eyes, headaches … filters of the eyes and may cause long-term damage.
The symptoms of eye strain or eye fatigue include … use of the eyes for a prolonged time or under difficult conditions can cause eye strain. … Headache or brow …
Ocular migraines may be due to stress and fatigue – the same probable causes of migraine headaches. Learn more about migraine headaches, computer eye- fatigue. These related causes can include improper glasses and other conditions such as hypertension, sinus conditions, tumors, hormonal …
Just like muscles in your body, your eyes can get tired. Learn about digital eye strain and fatigue, and how they can lead to ocular migraines.
Just like muscles in your body, your eyes can get tired. Learn about digital eye strain and fatigue, and how they can lead to ocular migraines.
Another common issue is headaches behind the eyes. While stress, eyestrain, and lack of sleep can lead to this type of headache, a frequent cause is actual eye problems such as astigmatism, presbyopia and far-sightedness. These problems left uncorrected, cause habitual squinting and put stress on the eyes, which puts …
Millennials spend an average of nine hours. That blue light can cause digital eye strain, headaches, dryness of the eyes, and blurred vision. Doctor Brad Kubis with Bloomberg eye care says that blue light even affects our sleep schedule. …
Eye Pain from a Tension Headache. One of the most common reason that an individual feels pain behind the eyes is a tension headache. This type of headache causes pain in the neck, forehead, and behind the eyes. However, tension headaches can be triggered by many different things, including eye strain and dry eyes.
Jan 15, 2014 … Reading or using a computer in bad lighting can also cause eyestrain. Other eye issues that may trigger a migraine are glaucoma or papilloedema (which is the swelling of the optic nerve). Eyestrain. Regardless of how you strain your eyes, eyestrain may be what is causing your migraines. some easy ways …
Learn about eye strain symptoms like dry eyes, headache, sensitivity to light, double vision, difficulty concentrating, and muscle soreness. Read about eye strain …
Reduce Eye Strain Computer Contents Fatigue. flickering can Will also keep Your eyes. the extra effort Are many factors including Eyestrain. … your eyes may Mar 31, 2014 … Computer glasses optimize your eyesight when you're looking at digital screens and help to reduce glare. Keep your monitor bright – This reduces the flicker rate of the computer and Screen Eye Strain Contents We’re constantly facing Minimize glare. glare Cause computer eye strain. consider installing Computer glasses specifically designed problems Aug 3, 2017 … If your eyes feel dry, tired, or blurry, your screen time could be to blame. Here's how to keep from straining your eyes. “There is no evidence that eye strain leads to chronic Headache Due To Eye Strain Contents Cysts that grow Cvs include headaches Are computer glasses specifically designed Problems left uncorrected Sofia Jingsäter, 26, struggles with chronic pain and constant tears due to … due to strain on her optic nerve. Sofia, from Växjö, Sweden, said: ‘I have cysts that grow in my face, mostly on the left-hand side so my
from http://bestoptometrists.net/can-eye-strain-cause-migraines-9/
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"Golden Rules" for Living with Type 1 Diabetes
New Post has been published on http://type2diabetestreatment.net/diabetes-mellitus/golden-rules-for-living-with-type-1-diabetes/
"Golden Rules" for Living with Type 1 Diabetes
One of the best resources for learning about diabetes and connecting with other PWDs (people with diabetes) locally can be summed up in five letters: TCOYD.
That would be Taking Control of Your Diabetes, the national educational conference series founded by endocrinologist and longtime type 1 Dr. Steven Edelman in San Diego. He's not only a super-knowledgeable clinician and researcher, but a really funny, passionate guy who infuses these day-long seminars with energy and inspiration. Seriously, everything I need to know about diabetes I learned at TCOYD.
For the past dozen years, I've had the privilege of speaking at my local Santa Clara event, that brings in about 1,000 patients for a full day of talks, panels, activities, a product expo and a banquet lunch -- all at the affordable price tag of just $20 per person!
This year, I was honored to be on a very cool opening panel for the Type 1 Track led by another awesome accomplished endo + type 1, Dr. Jeremy Pettus (who shared his smarts on alcohol and diabetes with us here).
Our panel was titled, "Golden Rules for Type 1s: Tips for Living Well with Diabetes," and included Dr. Bruce Buckingham of Stanford, Dr. Christine Ferrara of UCSF, Adam Brown of diaTribe, and Yours Truly from the 'Mine.
I think the audience really appreciated that we weren't trying to act as if we had all the answers, but rather just talking turkey about the realities of the hour-by-hour challenges of T1D. I thought you all might enjoy hearing the answers I prepared for this session, which aren't exactly "golden rules" but my own personal best practices, such as they are...
TCOYD) Do you have an overarching philosophy with your approach to managing your diabetes?
Amy) Do just enough to stay in decent control while STAYING SANE.
Has this philosophy changed over time?
It’s only grown stronger. Not having regular meltdowns over diabetes issues is an ongoing effort.
What would you say is the most important thing that has made a difference in your type 1 life and helped you keep on track? Inner strength/approach? A healthcare provider? Family members? Your job?
The support of my family for sure, and to a large extent exercise -- which makes me feel good physically and psychologically.
I also think it's super important to connect with other PWDs for sanity checks (TCOYD is excellent for that!)
What therapy or equipment has made the biggest difference in your life (CGM, pump, rapid insulin)?
I would say the OmniPod tubeless pump and Dexcom CGM. I love being able to pump with no dangling cannula, and the CGM has been a huge game-changer in just being constantly aware of what's happening in my body. I've also been using Afrezza inhaled insulin for the past year and have found the biggest advantage of that is having less complexity with IOB (insulin on board).
As you know, injected insulin sticks around in your system for four hours, whereas Afrezza is in and out in 1.5 hours. That means way less chance of insulin stacking, going low during exercise, nighttime lows, and more.
How important, or not, has a healthcare provider been in your success?
From my POV, the priority is that your HCP does NOT annoy / judge / misunderstand you / dismiss your concerns. You need to be comfortable and feel respected with that person! I have been fortunate to find such a doctor, although I must admit I don't see her all that often.
When everything goes to shit, what is usually the reason? Travel? Life stress? Change in diet? And what do you do to get back on track?
Travel and lack of sleep are huge for me; they usually go hand-in-hand. For that, I do my best to eat as low-carb as possible and check often, plus correct often.
Laziness / procrastination are also big factors. There are lots of times when my pump is beeping that it's time for a pod change or my CGM is alarming high, and I just don't want to deal with it immediately. I don't want to have to drop what I'm doing. But the results are almost always bad. I chalk this one up to being human.
Finally, my period does wonky things to my BG levels that are hard to predict. For the Ladies reading this: am I right? Hormonal cycles have a strong effect on blood sugar, an issue that's not discussed or explored enough.
How do you deal with exercise? Does it help your BGs or make them worse?
It’s constant trial and error. I have some set Temp Basals that I use regularly for spin class, aerobics, kick boxing, hiking and other workouts, but they’re far from fool-proof. To me, the most important thing is not to have to eat a bunch of empty calories I’m not hungry for -- in other words, to avoid going low at all costs, which often means I end up high after exercise and have to spend several hours at least chasing those highs. Come to think of it, I could use some improvement in this area.
What's your approach to food? Do you eat whatever the hell you want and just bolus for it, or do you avoid certain foods? Do you have any additional dietary restrictions?
I’m also gluten-intolerant, which is a pain in the rear, but it helps keep me very low-carb. I try to eat as low-carb as possible without making myself miserable -- meaning I try to do "just a taste" of the carby foods I desire most (which for me is mainly tortilla chips and granola bars).
Overall, I just eat a lot of protein and veggies, mostly salads. Thank God I actually like kale 🙂
How involved, or not, is your significant other in your diabetes? Do you want them more or less involved? If you could tell them one thing to change, what would that be?
My partner is very supportive, but not at all involved in the daily nitty-gritty. That's usually how I like it.
If I could change one thing, I guess I wish that instead of peering over my shoulder every once in a while to ask something like, "175, wow isn't that kind of high?," he would periodically ask a broader question, like, “Hey, how’s it going with your diabetes?” and then just listen to whatever I feel like sharing -- without necessarily trying to "fix it."
What do you LOVE to eat when you are low?
Raisins! I loved to eat lots of dried fruit before I got diagnosed, and had a hard time giving that up. Now I buy copious amounts of those little red snack boxes of raisins. Did you know the mini-boxes come in chocolate-covered and yogurt-covered varieties now too? Yum!
I stash them in my car, purse, nightstand, kitchen, suitcase, etc.
I stock up so much that one day when I had a bunch of six-packs piled in the backseat of my car, I picked up my daughter and her little friend asked, "Does your mom sell raisins?!"
Tell us a time that you have used type 1 to your advantage?
This is a hard one to admit, but I've definitely used it to get to the front of a buffet line. When I get really hungry, it feels like a low, even if my BG isn't dipping too badly. If you tell people you have type 1 diabetes and need to eat now, they're usually accommodating.
I've also had my doctor write me a letter to avoid jury duty. She actually encouraged me to get out of it if possible, because it really is tough if you get stuck there for weeks on end -- in terms of being able to eat right, exercise, etc. (Before you get judgy, know that many PWDs have gone this route.)
What does "being in control" mean to you? Is it an A1C? No hypos? Time in range?
I would say an A1C of 7.4 or less WITHOUT FREQUENT HYPOS.
My good friend Dr. Richard Jackson of Joslin Diabetes Center always encouraged me to think of "good control" this way -- not as pressure for ever-lower A1Cs, but maintaining a decent level without frequent lows, which shows that you are actually staying "in range" most of the time.
Tell us about your approach to complications. If you have them, how do you deal with them? If you don't, how often do they enter your mind?
I don’t have any yet, knock on wood! But I do think about them often – especially for eyes and feet, which are my “weak spots.” Gotta get those screenings regularly!
Give us a parting piece of advice to others on how to make life with type 1 better?
I’d return to my overarching philosophy: “Do just enough to stay in decent control while STAYING SANE.”
Sanity in this case means allowing yourself slip-ups, and taking time for family, friends and activities you enjoy (and occasional food splurges) WITHOUT FEELINGS OF GUILT.
So Dear Readers, got any "golden rules" of your own to share?
Disclaimer: Content created by the Diabetes Mine team. For more details click here.
Disclaimer
This content is created for Diabetes Mine, a consumer health blog focused on the diabetes community. The content is not medically reviewed and doesn't adhere to Healthline's editorial guidelines. For more information about Healthline's partnership with Diabetes Mine, please click here.
Type 2 Diabetes Treatment Type 2 Diabetes Diet Diabetes Destroyer Reviews Original Article
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mbrl · 7 years
Text
a giant update!
 posted first here bc yolo
roadmap-
the stuff i bought from forever 21 today c:
other stuff i did today!
closing the chapter to january (the worst month i’ve had to deal with for awhile?)
things i look forward to in the future: march, april, may, summer.
oh my god i got really cute things from forever 21!! finally ordered a white/light grey windbreaker with swordfish pattern all over it for $20. also got white dolphin shorts (like dolphin style, not literal dolphins) with rainbow stripes on the side. and a dark-ish pink/blush off the shoulder dress with ties on the arm.. it’s kind of weird but was on sale for valentines day & idk how off the shoulder styles look on me... we’ll see ig! it’s really cute and flowy. and another dress, but maroon and long sleeve and floral, kind of in a baby doll fit. it’s lowkey mockneck so the reviews are like help i can’t fit my head through but .. hopefully it fits! there’s some really small lace parts on the sleeve :). and a white flowy vneck top with a bunch of pink flowers on it and a tie in the front. bell-ish sleeves with lace on the upper shoulders and parts of the back! oo and a light weight grey hoodie with kinda cheesy but still cool cool-toned floral embroidery on the hood. it’s p unique but the quality probably sucks and isn’t soft. lastly a peach mid-maxi skirt that has some sheer parts for the bottom half!! it’s like those ballet rehearsal skirts style. 
okay clearly i really like dresses and i think i’m going to start wearing more pink/color because i’m totally over winter in general and how drab that season is. honestly just light warm colors that kind of are reminiscent of furniture fabric/granny aesthetic is totally my vibe. like i want to look like i don’t give a fuck, but not in an emo way but more in a.... idk. i actually don’t know how to explicate my vibe but its like laid back and californian and whatever. hypebeast/grandma/passionate napper/hiker/couch appearance :) also i’m really happy to just sorta word dump and get my thoughts out again because they’re finally good vibes and i feel super excited to share it with my ... laptop screen & whoever’s reading! like getting outta funks is so nice and lowkey reminiscent of a few months ago when i finally got over this stupid boy
anyway okay. today i woke up at 9-10ish because i slept at 3am yesterday :( i felt really weird (ig you can describe as anxious) because of something i did, and i tried to do that thing where i imagined trump spouting all the self hate/angsty vibes i was telling myself, but i didn’t really purge the angst all that much. also i had taken a nap after school + drank boba the day before... (and 2 days before then i slept at 2 bc i had half a cup of green tea in the evening...) also i got angry at myself that i couldn’t sleep because it’s just annoying. it’s 12 am right now and i didn’t take any naps today but i’ll definitely be content & ready to sleep after i right this. so after i woke up, i spent like a few hours cleaning out my room-- i fixed the organization of my desk drawers so it could be more efficient and less cluttered. also the night before when i couldn’t sleep, i hung up all my clothes so that was nice. then in the early afternoon, i finished math hw (literally had 2 problems left, one of which i didn’t know how to do....) and did some japan bowl studying! i also started chatting hella people to ask for interest regarding a possible speaker event that intersections (my social justice club) is hosting... it’s about asian american health disparities, so i got 9 total clubs interested??? now i gotta email the presenter to update them but i’ll do that tomorrow. then from 3-5pm i had a really fun japan bowl meeting that was super untoxic and just productive. this year we have less frequent meetings, but i think we spend the biweekly meetings with... healthier vibes. it’s a lot more fun, and honestly no amount of shame expedites self-studying better than just having a safe and nice environment. we did some practice rounds & i knew the answers to some questions!!! it was fun. i’ll definitely be studying more ahahah this week’s meeting was kind of a throw away but it was good bonding? we also did reading practice.
then i went on tumblr/online shopped/youtubed for 2 hours or smtg..then finished bio hw (3 sections of notes!!!!) while watching gaming streams after eating dinner. then chilled and took a shower, went on tumblr some more, and here i am now! i feel like i didn’t do much but whatever. it’s okay to be leisurely and like.. i just have a worksheet for aplac and a few emails to write tmrw, and i guess that’s it? chill weekend.
okay queue the giant cbt paragraphs:
january was a giant mess mainly because of tasp application... it’s hard for me to take the experiences that i know are invaluable in building my character, and trying to relay that in a effective, understandable way. it made me feel secure because it was almost like i was selling myself/commodifying my experiences, but i was doing it in the course of a 3-4 weeks. it was annoying when i got the diction and syntax just how i wanted it, only for my editor to be like no this is weird. it’s weird to have someone who doesn’t know you try to word your experiences and push you into a template. thank god said editor actually got fired and isn’t my college counselor-- now i have this really tall and goofy friendly white guy (who majored in sociology so you can imagine he’s not the typical yt).
another thing was just friend stuff, but not in a way that points a finger specifically to anyone, it’s just... junior year will literally suck the life out of people and push them to extremes. for me, when i needed support from my friends, it’s not like i could receive it-- partly this is just normal though because normally i don’t confide in them anyway because my life is pretty easy anyway. most of the time/100% of the time i’m initiating the how-are-you type thing and listening to rants and giving advice or playing devil’s advocate or trying to empathize and validate. and when i needed someone to do that for me, i didn’t know how to ask for it? and my friends wouldn’t have the capacity to care for me bc i don’t think they actually know the background of my problems that well. i mean only i really know that and that’s fine bc it’s not really practical for other people to take the time to (1) understand and, (2) care... also it’s not worth it to me to expend the emotional labor explaining to someone. so this really isn’t to sound self sacrificing, it’s just that i consciously don’t expect my friends to be my therapist, but since i have amateur skills & pretty decent emotional intelligence, i’m glad to take that role for my friends. this just blows up in my face every once in awhile when my own problems resurface or smtg and i just turn inward and whatever. thank god it’s over!!! that was basically my january.
someone i kinda know also had something really egregious happen to them. and i can’t talk about it bc i’m making this post public bc i want a record of this on my studyblr blog. anyway i was alone in helping this person with the egregious thing because it’s not the kind of thing i can share (it’s not my story) and also sharing the information can force people to do things that ... wouldn’t be favorable. the stress from that time made me really upset for a few days and i was so angry that the egregious thing even happened, and i’m definitely not the person to get angry.
also had to get my physical for track from this gross pervert of a doctor who uses a stethoscope to touch breasts :\ and i felt really disgusting and gross and it happened and just yuck so cringe ijaijsf don’t wnat to talk about it
ugh okay another thing that i recently came to realize is that fat is really underrated in attractiveness because flab plausibly makes for super comfortable cuddling? basically other than in the context of a fatphobic society (and this isn’t to thin shame), there’s nothing definitively more beautiful about sharp angles or hard muscles compared to soft curves? someone i sit next to in a class wears hoodies and sweatpants almost everyday and they just look like a pillow/perfect big spoon. okay but at the same time food angst and body image stuff is lowkey resurfacing, but in a really lowkey way against myself :(. part of the reason why i got angry last night at myself was because i didn’t like how i drank boba at such a late time, and how i was basically on a sugar high at 2am. so i’m trying to limit my processed food intake as a means of control. i’m pretty safe from relapsing into fullblown AN but a lot of shame associated with certain foods is still there. also i still dislike my thighs and back flab and i didn’t run hard enough to be ready for track and i feel really out of shape :(
a few days ago i went volunteering and was utterly exhausted and not in the mood of being understanding. i don’t think i was being impatient, but i was being more curt than usual when working with somebody. i was really annoyed and dwelling on my irritation and letting it consume me. on the car ride home, i was thinking through all the reasons why i could be so pissy, so i had to think through all this angst and grossness in january. i was always hoping that i was just pmsing when i was feeling especially down during that month, but i think the stress made me skip that month :\ so idk where my period or pms went but goddamn ig i was just especially moody that month if hormones can’t explain it lol
during january, intersections was passed and that was such a big victory. but i didn’t really care about it. i honestly didn’t even want to do anything for it or hope that i’d go well. part of insecurity for me is that i doubt myself so much (sUBCONSCIOUSLY, which is especially annoying bc idk what i actually feel half the time) that i get frustrated easily.
but the stress of the summer app and distancing myself from the stressful things has allowed me to recover, and i’m really happy and my normal self (which i’m really happy about!!!) i’ve literally been writing for 40 min so i’m going to start doing lists for the remaining stuff i said i’d write about
things i look forward to!
feb: planning for intersections, week of break = cramming for jbowl, light school work load
march: starting my club, leadership conference i’m part of, almost time for jbowl
april: jbowl!, spring break, api healthcare disparities presentation?
may: giant speaker event with an alumnus possibly?
summer: lead a free program for low income students around where i live? there’s a lotta red tape and logistics that come with this one though... will be thinking about it for a long time.
okay i’m sleepy bye
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