#-yeets this to the dash and runs away- | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

all-the-fish · 3 months

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Oh, you know, just the usual internet browsing experience in the year of 2024

Some links and explanations since I figured it might be useful to some people, and writing down stuff is nice.

First of all, get Firefox. Yes, it has apps for Android/iOS too. It allows more extensions and customization (except the iOS version), it tracks less, the company has a less shitty attitude about things. Currently all the other alternatives are variations of Chromium, which means no matter how degoogled they supposedly are, Google has almost a monopoly on web browsing and that's not great. Basically they can introduce extremely user unfriendly updates and there's nothing forcing them to not do it, and nowhere for people to escape to. Current examples of their suggested updates are disabling/severly limiting adblocks in June 2024, and this great suggestion to force sites to verify "web environment integrity" ("oh you don't run a version of chromium we approve, such as the one that runs working adblocks? no web for you.").

uBlockOrigin - barely needs any explanation but yes, it works. You can whitelist whatever you want to support through displaying ads. You can also easily "adblock" site elements that annoy you. "Please log in" notice that won't go away? Important news tm sidebar that gives you sensory overload? Bye.

Dark Reader - a site you use has no dark mode? Now it has. Fairly customizable, also has some basic options for visually impaired people.

SponsorBlock for YouTube - highlights/skips (you choose) sponsored bits in the videos based on user submissions, and a few other things people often skip ("pls like and subscribe!"). A bit more controversial than normal adblock since the creators get some decent money from this, but also a lot of the big sponsors are kinda scummy and offer inferior product for superior price (or try to sell you a star jpg land ownership in Scotland to become a lord), so hearing an ad for that for the 20th time is kinda annoying. But also some creators make their sponsored segments hilarious.

Privacy Badger (and Ghostery I suppose) - I'm not actually sure how needed these are with uBlock and Firefox set to block any tracking it can, but that's basically what it does. Find someone more educated on this topic than me for more info.

Https Everywhere - I... can't actually find the extension anymore, also Firefox has this as an option in its settings now, so this is probably obsolete, whoops.

Facebook Container - also comes with Firefox by default I think. Keeps FB from snooping around outside of FB. It does that a lot, even if you don't have an account.

WebP / Avif image converter - have you ever saved an image and then discovered you can't view it, because it's WebP/Avif? You can now save it as a jpg.

YouTube Search Fixer - have you noticed that youtube search has been even worse than usual lately, with inserting all those unrelated videos into your search results? This fixes that. Also has an option to force shorts to play in the normal video window.

Consent-O-Matic - automatically rejects cookies/gdpr consent forms. While automated, you might still get a second or two of flashing popups being yeeted.

XKit Rewritten - current most up to date "variation "fork" of XKit I think? Has settings in extension settings instead of an extra tumblr button. As long as you get over the new dash layout current tumblr is kinda fine tbh, so this isn't as important as in the past, but still nice. I mostly use it to hide some visual bloat and mark posts on the dash I've already seen.

YouTube NonStop - do you want to punch youtube every time it pauses a video to check if you're still there? This saves your fists.

uBlacklist - blacklists sites from your search results. Obviously has a lot of different uses, but I use it to hide ai generated stuff from image search results. Here's a site list for that.

Redirect AMP to HTML - redirects links from their amp version to the normal version. Amp link is a version of a site made faster and more accessible for phones by Bing/Google. Good in theory, but lets search engines prefer some pages to others (that don't have an amp version), and afaik takes traffic from the original page too. Here's some more reading about why it's an issue, I don't think I can make a good tl;dr on this.

Also since I used this in the tags, here's some reading about enshittification and why the current mainstream internet/services kinda suck.

#modern internet is great #enshittification #internet browsing #idk how to tag this #but i hope it will help someone #personal #question mark

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izpira-se-zlato · 1 month

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JO Utrecht, 20.03.24

i am woefully behind on my dash but I come bearing a gig report?

I met a lot of people I'd last seen in Groningen 💛

we had dutch fries and I got a vegan kroket (it was very tasty)

also met @autoantonyms!! Got beautiful stickers 😊💛

the queue was inside and there were toilets next to it

Our queueing experience was pretty chill since we ( @zadig-fate , @mogoce-nocoj, and @sloveniansexual) wanted balcony so it wasn't quite so bad

we feared we might get kicked out of the balcony spot but didn't (apparently it was the designated disabled spot but not actually marked as such)

really good view of the entire stage, I'll yeet my videos onto YouTube at the end of the month (once I have wifi again)

the ground was sloped, I think, so there were no "bad" spots

Kris in a super neat outfit and with his cowboy boots that give him the cuntiest of walks

Nace felt like the most "underdressed" in his lace-dangle pants, a simple white shirt and a cozy sweater on top, as well as normal sneakers and glasses

he lost the glasses during Tokio (intentionally this time – threw them at Kiki) and the sweater a little later

Bojan with the heart cutout shirt that allegedly had a kiss mark on the center of the cutout? We were too far away to make that out

Jure. Just. Jfc. we had such a good vantage point to see him, and what a sight he was. Eyeliner and chain harness and hnnng. I spent. Most of the gig just looking at him bc jfc he was gorgeous

Jan in the sparklative pants? I think? And the deep cleavage shirt. Also Janbun my beloved

super tame gig all things considered but I barely noticed bc Jure

Bojan sounds so sick. So fucking sick. Full of snot 😅

during Gola, Jan pushed Nace and chased him a bit

they were so very mobile!

Bojan and Kris did not interact at all during the gig until Bojan made Kris speak Dutch to the crowd (and strokes his arm to get his attention. For a moment I was sure Kris would still ignore him)

apparently Kris's mom was in the audience but we didn't see her so this is hearsay

Jan kept skipping around the stage, and so did Bojan. Bojan also did the Käärijä knees-up run

Nace also sprinted across the stage once 😂

aduring Demoni, Jan jumped up on the drums pedestal and played the snare drum (?)

he also played the piano during metulji and Umazane 😂 a true multi-instrumentalist

also during Demoni, Nace almost walked into Jan and Jan "threatened" him with his guitar (they're adorable)

Jan was actually drinking water during the gig

Vita came up to the balcony to shoot from there and was very distracting. Not in a bad way though 😂

another photographer came up to us and was kinda grateful when I made space so he could shoot

Umazane including intro speech was 12:55 long. Jfc Bojan.

Bojan was talking and then the rest just started Umazane. Felt a bit like they were like, it'll be long enough, pls just start

Bojan went into the crowd. Lots of non-slovene versions. Vita followed after him, which made for a funny picture from above bc there was a white spot with safety distance around him, followed by a pink light (from Vita's camera)

Nace joined part of the front row in doing the Macarena dance for a moment

Jan instigated the crab walk across the stage, and when they came back to Primož, Primož grabbed Nace's fretboard (? The thing with the pegs) before Jan came around and got to press a few buttons on the sound mixing desk

Bojan was helped back on stage but they forgot Vita in the crowd. She was still solidly in the crowd when Kiki fucked back off. I think @braveheart1418 yelled for people to make space and so she was able to slip back out, but yeah. Poor Vita

Kris interacted so much with Jan and Nace though it was pretty tame

a very professional gig all things considered

during ne bi smel (?) Jan's guitar cut out at the beginning but it didn't cause major issues, it just made the very beginning sound a little off

Bojan made Kris speak Dutch at the end. No idea what he said

during Novi val, Jure jumped onto Nace and Jan

Bojan gave Nace and Jan tulip bunches and it really felt like they were suddenly acutely aware how "just married" they looked. Queue awkward standing next to each other until Jure jumped into them

while Kris was speaking, Nace had Bojan pulled into his side, so Jan jumped into them and jfc what a picture – Bojan and Nace both dark pants/white shirt, and Jan in all black… Gorgeous

the crowd chanted "oooo" (U, for Utrecht) and Bojan thought they were booing and he was laughing off that fear afterwards, saying it's the worst nightmare for an artist

#joker out #jure macek #jure maček #jan peteh #nace jordan #kris gustin #kris guštin #bojan cvjeticanin #bojan cvjetićanin #nace ja jan #bojan ja Jan #bojan ja kris #gig report #jo utrecht #sys tour

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wtpb-rcp · 4 months

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You know what, fuck y'all *yeets Murder Drones AU into your dash*

Ima copy paste the blurb I once posted in a Murder Drones subreddit. Price Series is the name of MD!Poli btw...at least his current one.

Brought to you by Price Series (yep, that's his name...blame his parents)

"If you are familiar with Worker Drones, Copper-9, Disassembly Drones, and something about a core exploding, then I don't need to educate you on that side of history. But if you need to and you're living under a rock...no offense...then I'll summarize it.

"We are worker drones: robots used to mine exoplanets and be humanity's pets and workers, mostly for JCJenson IN SPAAAAACE! (TM). But when the core of Copper-9, our exoplanet, exploded...well...only we drones are left, plus robotic pets, plus perfectly intact houses...you get the point. We build our own homes here, made our own families, and find love! No, Mister Wilson, there is no such thing as human zombies. The temperature is too frozen for their bodies to move on their own. Now sit down, please.

"The Disassembly Drones (we found out about their names via an interview with someone we capture...trust me, we'll get to that one later) appeared because our parent company hates the concept of free will. We fell into a dark age where we live in fear of them...until someone came to save us all.

"His name is our great founder Ricky, Ricky Julius. This bastard is a genius, using his laser guns and snow-friendly boots to chase off the disassembly drones and bring peace to our town once again. This is where the golden age of technology and safety ensued.

"He set up a program—along with most other things like politics, building security departments like what we're inside right now, and more—and this program is special. It was like the human military where every boy drone wants to get in, because this program gives them augmentations and alterations to their body parts, making them effective Murder Drone Murderers and Worker Drone Rescuers: Resistance Drones.

"Resistance Drones is a special type of drone, as you can see in our slideshow (Sorry I didn't actually show its visualization). Besides their cylindrical arm structure, detachable tails that can change length, and a special target-locking program, they have the ability to detect things from far away using radars, detach their body parts—yes, even the head—have acid-immune metal parts and acid-secreting claws and mouth, and have a cloaking program that can be used for shapeshifting. Their main weaknesses are said cloaking being detected via infrared, their lack of flight, and their lack of regeneration. Still, their acid and body detaching helped with taking down Disassembly Drones. Ever since then, we have killed off eight of those murderers, with two from separate squads retreating somewhere.

"But unexpectedly, they rebelled. Something about someone sneaking in some sort of virus in them while they're on shutdown. After the Golden Age came the Second Dark Age after a few years, to say. Lead by a vicious Resistance Serial"Ar", also known as Arson, our town almost fell into his iron fist. But like what happened to the first dark ages, someone stepped up like Ricky did...except that she did something different.

"Her name is Orpah Loid, and she has "special" programming that can make her manipulate things to her liking. The rescue drones were intimidated by her like how the murder drones were by Ricky...except that this time, they hid and they made sure that they won't show themselves to Cluster-4, this place we thrive in, except for some rare scenarios. After this, she never appeared, leaving her two sons at the mercy of an adoption center—yes, her eldest was formerly a girl, deal with it...now you're becoming creepy! Sit down, Miss Chair, or else I'll call your dad!

"Now today, we're pretty much in a state like the Golden Age, albeit with stricter security, more idiots running in the departments, and lesser threats despite the absence of the significant thing that made the Golden Age iconic...if not controversial...

"Yeah...let's continue on: THE WEAPONS CONVENTION!"

---

As Price left the room and the newbies to their own devices until the one actually handling them comes, greeting some passerby drone as he walked pass by the metallic but welcoming interior of the organized mess of a hallway. He then see a drone with dark red hair tucked under his large ushanka, waving at him with his apple red eyes showing impression. "Goddamn that's some good lecture you got there, Poli."

Price sighed as he said, "I told you to not call me 'Poli' over a stupid joke that befallen me ages ago, Rhode!"

"Hey, that was a funny joke!" Rhode interjected.

"Was your processor fried again?!"

"Hey!"

Both laughed as Rhode approached price and messed with his synthetic, royal blue hair. If drones can smell, the odor of hair dye lingered in the area. "Look at you, rising up the ranks of the security department."

"Couldn't have said more, you know," Price smiled as he tucked his hands into his hoodie pockets. He removed one and touched the star-like badge on his left chest, its silver shade pairing up nicely with his baby blue outfit. "So, where do you want to dine in?"

"Maybe in that newly-opened battery restaurant?"

"Anything but a battery restaurant," Price groaned. "We have a kid at home and someone who will offended to see her friends get addicted to that stuff!"

"So what should we even eat? Nails? Screws? Oil?" Rhode made a disgusted face with that. "We ain't murder drones, dude."

"I've heard someone having a controversial but good-looking dish incorporating the oil of 'retired' cattledrones," Price declared. "And for some reason...I really want to try that..."

Rhode silently gasped as he saw Price's teeth briefly shift into sharper fangs before he decided to exclaim, "We're here in the importing sector now!" Rhode was glad that Price got distracted by his voice.

"And now we w-" Price dropped his jaw at the sight of what was being held in place at the center of the sector. It was a large crate as large as a car, and by the strain it was putting into the vehicle being used to keep it stable, it was damn heavy.

Price then felt some buzzing from his pockets and he checked it out to be from a number he knew. He smiled and answered, "Hey Amy! How's the kid doin' in our place?"

"Surprisingly great!" The voice of a female rang through. "He's still downcast from the fact that his brother is no longer...alive...but he is carrying it through."

"Ah. Alright, we're busy here. Bye."

Meanwhile, Amy looked with nervousness with the way Henry speedread through her books, two books all at once. She then shrugged and said to herself, "He's a genius."

On the other hand, Henry's eyes are locked onto various keywords, his visor glitching quite a bit.

#(in)security #robocar poli #robocar poli au #rcp-stuff #hmmm #murder drones #although there is no N here unfortunately...

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featherlouise · 1 year

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Different anon whose dash is filling with real-time angst—

HAVE MERCY PLEASE. AAAAAAAA (That being said, continue. I'm actually curious as to how the story would progress after the infection's resurgence in relation to the in-game events. Would the palace still be whisked away, now with Hollow's body and a delusional queen trying furiously and in vain to protect the child she could have had?)

Hehehehehehe glad to see you’re enjoying my au!!

In terms of Ghost’s arrival to Hallownest, they’d be entering a far, far more dangerous kingdom. Since infected only attack the uninfected, and the infection spread SO fast, most of the dead bodies you see in the game would also be husks. Without Hollow and the dreamers to keep Radi in check, the entire kingdom would probably be basically infected crossroads. Any survivors would have fled to deepnest, as its dark, cramped corridors suddenly become far more appealing than the swarms of enraged infected that crowd the roads and pathways. It’s only a matter of time until deepnest is also invaded however, and the aforementioned cramped conditions don’t exactly lend well to running away.

Once PK realises that his kingdom is well and truly fucked, he would DEFINITELY yeet the palace into the dream realm, probably even sooner than in canon since, as far as he’s concerned, he’s got his family with him in the palace already, so what more could he need??

Assuming Ghost manages to awaken the dream nail (bc Radi leaves the resting grounds and Seer alone so it’s kinda like a safe zone) they’d have a pretty easy time getting the kingsoul bc both halves are in the same room. They’d still have to do the path of pain tho bc PK’s gotta protect Hollow’s body somehow right??

They pick up both halves of the charm, before noticing the figure on the bed, with a strangely familiar set of horns.

Turning to leave, they’re stopped by the distinct sound of a lock clicking into place. When they look back, their sibling is sitting up from their dais, their eyes glowing a burning orange.

Boss fight ensues

#will I keep this idea??? maybe #hollow fkin dies au #hollow knight #asks #I didn’t proofread this so sry for any incoherency lmao #thk #pure vessel #hk ghost #the hollow knight #hk pv

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x-authorship-x · 1 year

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Lmao, in the 'Shisui went back in time but didn't join one of the clans' scenario, I can just imagine Shisui zipping in every time there's a scuffle or major fight and just taking away everyone's weapons. You can get them back once you've learned to learn to get along or, barring that, simply agree to go home. What are they gonna do, stop him? Not if they can't catch him. Sucks to suck, guys, either stop fighting or get good.

Also, you know for quite some time I was trying to figure out how Eye of the Beholder was gonna go anywhere if the Uchiha elders were basically forcing his compliance, and then you mentioned in one of these that, oh yeah, saving them was more important to Shisui than them liking or accepting him. Peace and saving his Clan were worth brainwashing every one of his family members in his own time, so even if he didn't like it, doing it here would be even less of an ethical dilemma for him. Like obviously he's gonna try other things first, but he does always have that as a fallback. Of course this is all complicated by Obito, but Shisui's not just gonna roll over and let them boss him around if it gets in the way of peace.

Hey!

This could be such a serious fic, so much panicking and isolation and drama and angst... But the opportunity for *insert Scooby Doo chase scene music* nonsense is just too good to pass by! Shisui dashes between the fighting parties and uses Susanoo to just yeet them back into their respective compounds lmao, or he snares them all in genjutsu and make them run away from each other (the Uchiha are so miffed to be caught in their own tricks, the Senju are horrified, Tobirama's sensing pride is taking a battering 🤭)

On a more serious note... Shisui definitely doesn't care if people hate him so long as they're alive to do so. This makes him a right pair with Tobirama especially, who will literally fuck around with life-death and make Zombies just on the fools hope that he can bring his brothers back....dodgy, dodgy, dodgy....

It really makes Shisui's whole shtick of "a hero working in the shadows" all the more gut-wrenching

You 🤝 Me, Anon 😤✨

#torship #torship talks #anon #shisui

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yumaofei · 5 months

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[ 万事起头难。] ✦ 𝐋𝐎𝐍𝐄𝐒𝐎𝐌𝐄 𝐓𝐑𝐀𝐍𝐒𝐂𝐄𝐍𝐃𝐄𝐍𝐂𝐄 . a private , low activity and relatively canon divergent rendition of genpact's shenhe . highly headcanon based and open to exploring many verses . please find rules below the cut of this post . minors kindly dni . brought back into the human realm by lune she/they 25+ GMT+1 . pinned graphics created by the lovely and talented @/imarahuyo .

✦ even though she was born in the human world, she ended up being an adepti disciple. she grew up in the mountains far away from Liyue Harbor, her soul bound with red ropes, training both her body and mind. despite having the elegant temperament of an adeptus, she seems to be shrouded in mystery.

✦ askbox ✦ headcanons ✦ shipping call ✦ info ✦ verses

✦ beloved affiliates : @imarahuyo / @litpyres / @knghted

𝐈. ACTIVITY. this blog is highly selective and low activity due to a busy personal life and me running another blogs over at @evelicious and @girlkeep please be patient with my replies both in character and out of character and do not continuously try to catch my attention.

𝐈𝐈. FOLLOWING PROCEDURES. i will only follow those that i want to interact with after having read their rules and about pages of their muses. i expect the same in return. being slow is absolutely fine , but if we follow each other and you make absolutely no effort to interact with me , my posts or my muse after two weeks i will simply block you. i know it seems harsh but i need to keep my dash and my followers as organised as possible so i can keep up with the flow of the blog. if , for any reason , you want to unfollow me without telling me , please hardblock me to avoid any confusion. i might just assume that tumblr did it's goofy unfollowing thing and refollow. so please just yeet me into the void.

𝐈𝐈𝐈. HOW TO WRITE WITH ME. one thing you need to know is that i do not write random starters and will very seldom make starter calls. the best way to interact with me is to send in an ask from my prompt list or something totally unprompted. i love getting asks , so you're welcome to send in as many as you like. once i answer , if it's something you feel like you want to continue , please do so !you don't even need to ask for permission first. otherwise , i will be posting plotting calls and will always be open in my dms to discuss threads with our muses. so if you have an idea , come to me !

𝐈𝐕. SHIPPING. personally i love shipping ! i am very open to all kinds of ships but they do need to be discussed beforehand. i ship chemistry , so if you feel like our characters might mesh well together then it's likely that i probably will too! that being said , any kind of force shipping will result in you being hard blocked. i am multiship and multiverse , so anything is possible.

𝐕. DO NOT INTERACT. do not interact with this blog if you write or support any kind of racism ( including white-washing ) , homophobia , trans-phobia , rape , misogyny or are part of this wlw ship hating agenda. i absolutely do not want to see any kind of hatred on my dash. if i do i'll be hard blocking everyone that is involved. that being said , i am pro callout if it concerns a genuinely harmful person. if you see that i am interacting with a harmful person , please let me know because it's probably that i am not aware.

𝐕𝐈. HARMFUL CONTENT WARNING. this blog contains content that is not safe for work , including FREQUENT MENTION OF VIOLENCE AND MURDER , sexual themes , violence , gore , manipulation and death. all of which shall be tagged accordingly with the following : tw violence the only exception to this rule is sexual content which shall be tagged as : spicy tw. ( because of the recent ban on anything nsfw on tumblr ).

𝐕𝐈𝐈. THANK YOU FOR READING. this blog is penned by lune she/her 25+ in the CET ( paris time ) timezone.

#pinned post .

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the-mist-striders · 10 months

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Episode 3: One Must Die

So we last left off with the party realizing they’re fucked.

I would also like to mention that this is the top floor of the manor. As far as we can tell at a glance this is it.

Kai does her echo-location thing and finds a secret door in the master bedroom- a spiral staircase down

Congratulations to the party! We found the basement that's supposed to have monsters in it

And it's very... basementy

Spooks part ????/????

Anyway, they find a locked room. Fauna presents a key she found in the study. Unlocks it and there's 2 child sized skeletons on the floor

The clothes matching the kids that led us in here

:)))

So the actual ghosts of the kids materialize and they talk to the party.

They say their mom locked them into the room to keep them safe

They starved to death

#Mother of the year award

Imil, being a paladin of the Raven Queen asks where they'd like to be buried. They say they want to be with their mom and dad. The paladin with the help of Lucerian scoop up all the bones and have them in some kind of sack. When this happens the kids possess Imil and Lucerian. Lucerian suddenly becomes meek and Imil becomes a bit more bossy.

We go into another room and it's full of corpses too

Fauna triggers a trap

A trap in the form of the angry maid’s spirit

Kai runs the fuck away because she not equipped for this shit

Luciren runs the fuck away too and nearly yeets Kai’s blind ass down the staircase (but I succeeded in a dex save)

So me and Imil’s player do hatch a plan while Amahlia and Fauna fight the ghost

I have herbs, Imil is a paladin, and a match to burn the herbs. Imil does some chanting, takes by herbs, hauls ass to the box filled with the maids bones, and yeets the herbs inside. Setting the box on fire

While this happens the maid is balls deep into Amahlia

By this I mean the maid is fondling her guts

And is on her death saves

Amahlia is dying

Kai steps up and fucking book's it across the room towards the distracted wraith and wacks it so hard from behind that it finishes it off

Kai uses a healing spell and saves Amahlia's ass

Please no one notice how I keep changing how certain names are spelled, I can only edit this so much.

They rest, they level up and heal, tiem for the next floor below

They find absolute darkness. No longer do their surroundings resemble a home, it's a dungeon. A crypt

Kai hears distant chanting

Can't pinpoint what they're saying

When she mentions this the rest of the party hears it

#this is fine

The kids nudge the paladins towards the mothers burial crypt. They leave the bones there, releasing their spirits. They also fetch the fathers corpse from the noose and place him in his grave.

They press on, Amahlia is the only human and thus can't see

Must be rough

Lucerian is holding Amahlias torch, he nearly lights up a room with it before Kai stops him

In the process revealing her telepathic nature by speaking directly into his mind

You see, she can hear something in that room

Its big and has many legs

And it was the quietest way to stop him

She reveals that this whole time she could read their minds

Fauna is embarrassed because she sings the theme song of my little pony internally every time she's spooked

Please no one question where she could have heard the my little pony theme song we are in a dungeon ffs.

Fauna also discovers she can talk to animals (because she leveled up as a druid)

Turns out the dog has an aussie accent.

Who knew

Btw this is what the dog looks like

3B, The bat in her hair is also constantly panicking because he has no idea what's going on at any given moment. Also 3B has a jersey accent.

Kai, using herself as a radio of sorts we navigate deeper, passing messages around telepathically and listening for enemies

~~I knew a blind telepath would make a useful party member~~

However, they do get jumped by 3 ghouls

Because I failed my rolls

We manage to avoid most traps/encounters using my senses, but sometimes my dice will be like "fuck you. have a low #"

Amalia dashes ahead to smash some ghouls

Now mind you the halls are narrow

Amalia only gets past Kai because I had Kai flattened against a wall to make room

Should I mention Kai uses a crossbow and how nobody questioned ever why a blind woman is using a crossbow

(She uses other people's eyes ( and her own senses at times) to aim)

So uh

Luciren can't hit any of the ghouls because Amalia is in the way

So he has a bright idea

To fucking try jumping over her

Amahlia is an average height adult woman and he's slightly taller and covered in heavy armor

As decided by a series of rolls between Amahlia and Luciren - here's how that went

They fucked it up

Luciren knocks Amahlia down and Lucerian tumbles and is also down

Imil has an idea too! Basically he wants to go up and around in attempt to flank the ghouls

Says "I got this!" Takes off into the dark hall

Next the party hears is a loud bang as Imil steps on a floor trap with spikes below

Imil passes the dex save, grabs the ledge and pulls themselves up

#ideal party moment

Oh but what's this?

The party is making a lot of noise

A giant caterpillar/worm like thing emerges from the hallway that Kai heard it crawling around in

It has fangs and tentacles

And craves our meat

And its Kai whose first on the menu

Oh, and fauna turned into a cat, got past everyone and joined the fight. She left 3B and the dog behind to keep the animals out of danger.

They did pass a check to detect the worms arrival and to be smart enough to run away

#the dog is ok

So I won't sugar coat. Kai gets her ass beat

It's fukin rough. It uses poison damage that paralyzes

So Kai wasn't able to do much even when I could pass a constitution save

Imil makes his way to the back finally

The woerm is chewing on Kai’s head

Kai accepts this as her cue, turn into a rat and make a dash

Imil smashes it with their battleaxe

Its dead bitches

Kai heals her own ass

The ghouls are dead

They managed to survive

...for now

We find a statue of a dude and a colorful glowing orb

Fauna needs to be held back so that she doesn't grab it

There are strange shadows in this room and we can feel eyes on us ... watching

Oh and there's skeletons chained to the wall... they sure do know how to decorate

They find a door

Imil and Kai don't trust nothing

Kai detects magic on the door. Imil shoots it activating a trap that would eat you if you tried to open it

Totally normal stuff

Everyone in the party is just like "fuck this house"

Amahlia looks down and the tarot card is back

She rips it and moves on

We find a room with a chest of magical shit that Kai can see with borrowed eyeballs + detect magic

But bro

We didn't even touch anything

Imil just

Looked at a painting

And out comes a ghoul like thing

I don't think it was a ghoul, something stronger smarter and maybe harder to kill

Not sure

Because that little bitch was fucking ganged up on on sight

The party was #done and out for blood

Little bitch died

Oh and the reason we didn't know it was there was because I failed 3 perception checks in a fucking row

Which btw Kai is now toph'ing it up and going barefoot because I'll be damned we get jumped by another ghoul popping out of the ground

No one can smell her boot feet because the air is already putrid from all the ghouls and that woerms insides

In true spirit of #fuck this house we didn't bother with the rest of the floor. We went down the stairs Imil found when he tried to flank the ghouls

When they reached this floor they now could understand the chanting they heard on the floor above

"Strahd is ancient, he is the land"

to which the squad starts roasting the chanting. Kai personally did it by saying "I fucking get it! Strand is old and strahd is dirt! Who cares!"

"strahd is older than dirt'- Amahlia I think, idk

We find a room full of alters with different things on a pedestal

Random shit like clotted blood in a glass, a dried patch of skin, dragon tooth wrapped in wire, a lock of hair, shit like that

What's funny is this setup is for a ritual that isn't a thing. It does nothing

Cringe blood cult with their fail ritual

2 different doors ahead. Kai checks both, one is a flooded room, the other another series of hallways. They start with the later and find yet more skeletons chained to the wall

#im kink shaming at this point

I find a secret passageway, leads to the flooded room but there's platforms

I have Kai put her finger tips in the murky sewage water so she can feel for movement- something brushes against her fingers, she jolts back, there's red eyes in the water

Amalhia has a galaxy brain moment and throws her javelin into the water

To ""kill the water""

She goes in the water to get it back. All the splashing keeps Kai from figuring out what the fuck is in the water

At the center of the flooded part of the room is a platform with an alter, to the right in the water is a stack of bones

Fauna just goes for the altar by wading in the water

Kai is paranoid, won't go in

Imil offers to carry her

Kai almost accepts

But for reasons unbeknownst to Imil she pauses, then turns and just leaps into the water while screaming “It’s not personal!!”

They all get to the platform

The whole squad smells like sewage now

#squadgoals

With all of them on the center platform a bunch of hooded figures with no face except for red eyes manifest everywhere in the room

There's a knife on the altar

Now the chanting changes to something else

As hooded entities manifest in the room

"One must die"

#ohno

So I, as Kai’s player was launching into "how can I twist the wording here" mode

Or "is there like... a bug somewhere we can kill?" Or "can we sacrifice a ghoul?"

Dm is evil and won't tell

Luciren thinks out loud "they need one of us to die... and we have a dog"

At the same time Amahlia has a galaxy brained idea to write a '1' on a piece of paper. The dms are shocked that Amahlia is actually literate

They let her make the attempt

Kai lends her some paper, she writes "1" on a piece of paper, takes the knife and stabs it

The paper erupts into black inky smoke

"Yes! I did it!"

The smoke clears

Revealing the fucking tarot card

Imil goes looking into the stack of bones

Hoping to find rats or something

No luck even with a nat20

Kai is having an existential crisis on what it means to die as she contemplates sacrificial alternatives

Imil has their galaxy brain moment

The chanting is speeding up

They’re being timed

He gathers bones from the stack and assembles a skeleton

Rolls for deception to see if maybe he can trick the spectators

As he pretends to sacrifice himself and use the skeleton for a body

Luciren stops him because he knows it won't work (via a nat20 on insight)

That's when Lucerian gets out a dagger and attempts to commit sudoku

Chaos happens

Imil is attempting to grapple the knife away

Fauna the ray of sunshine is having a crisis as she watches her brother attempt to sacrifice himself

I enjoy how literally no one even entertained sacrificing the dog

Luciren stabs himself on the neck

#ohshit.jpg

The chanting is loud and so much faster than before

Time is running out

Do we save Luciren?

And if we do what then? Who instead will?

Fauna sets 3B and the dog down on the floor. Says "take care of each other" before attempting her own suicide because she can't live without her brother

This sets Amalia into action. Since she seems to have a crush on fauna

Amalia dashes over and force feeds him a healing potion

In all the chaos we don't see Imil step aside, take his chest armor off, grab the sacrificial dagger, and stab himself in the heart right over the alter

He uses one of his weapons to command we stay back and let him die

With a nat 20 intimidation

The party is probably pissing themselves

He dies so that the rest can leave

Something inside the stack of bones emerges, vaguely human in shape... but not quite right It goes to Imils corpse and devours him

#traumatic.jpg

But hey at least they can leave this house right?

They go back where they came

And find the staircase to the basement blocked off

Fuck-this-house.com/fuck

Fauna is somewhere murdering a door

Luciren trying to calm her

Amalia too

tfw the barbarian is telling you to chill

Kai finds an exit in the hallway the woerm was in

It's a ladder to the very first floor you enter on

They did it. They escaped.

The party then in an act of friendly bonding set the house on fire.

The smoke trail marking the end of the Death house arc.

There's a basket of fine whine and cheese on the road where the children once stood. Inside the basket is a note that says

“Welcome to Barovia :)”

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#Episodes #Episode 3 #the haunted house saga has the most editing needed istg #curse of strahd #dnd

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kingofsting · 11 months

Text

Dark Shadows: Chapter 2: A new face

Aria's P.O.V We left the castle, luckily the guards didn't notice so we got out easily. We followed Merla to where the figure was standing.

"Why would someone stand here to watch the ceremony?" Zara asked.

"Maybe because the thing wants to kill you I don't know." I snap.

"Oh well excuse me for not knowing everything about killers!"

We glare at each other, and I think to myself, this is gonna be a long trip. Before I can snap back, Zara's fox Flare jumps off her shoulder and sniffs the ground. A second later, it jumps and does a swan dive into the ground and tunnels away.

"And you say you don't get my bird?!"

"She picked up their trail, she wants us to follow her, come on." Zara says and dashes after her.

"Well that makes it easier I guess." I ran after Zara and her freakin fox drill.

It goes for about a quarter mile till it stops at the town entrance and yeets itself out of the ground, landing on Zara's shoulder, somehow completely dirt free...I need tips from that fox for Merla.

"So I'm guessing your fox lost the scent?" I ask.

"No she smelt a burger nearby, yes she lost the scent." She replies.

I swear I'm about to bitchslap royalty.

"Anyways, it hasn't been long, it might still be in the town. Let's look around and find it." She says.

"BUT, you.stay.behind.me. Ok? I don't want to be responsible if you get hurt." I tell her, and I'm NOT changing my mind.

Zara rolls her eyes. "Fine, jeez, your acting like my father."

"Hey, at least someone needs to," I mutter to myself.

We walk into the town and begin looking for anyone with a cloak. Still, without getting a great look at the person or the color of his coat, or even his face, no one fits the profile. We walk around for about half an hour, and still nothing. We walked into the middle of town to an open area. Apparently, hunters have captured a live moose.

"Nothing yet, he could be long gone by now," I mutter to myself, but I get a small nagging feeling someone's watching us. I whistle for Merla and have her fly over the town to see if she spots anything.

"Your fox-miner get anything?" I ask Zara.

"Her name's Flare, and no she hasn't yet." She replies.

"Ok, well wait for Merla to do a look around for a bit then we'll try and get its scent with her, if that works, we might need a carriage if the person left."

As we walk through the town, I get a sense that something is wrong. I keep my hand near my dagger and look over at Zara. She looks as casual as can be, and not like she could get kidnapped any minute now. We keep walking around till I realize we've been walking in circles.

"Ok this is going nowhere. We haven't found any leads and we don't know where the fuck we are going. Well at least I don't. We're going back to the castle and I'm coming back here tomorrow BY MYSELF. Don't argue with that." I tell her.

As Zara's about to argue, we hear people cursing. I turn and see the people trying to keep the cage closed, but the moose breaks from the cage and starts BARRELING towards us like someone tried to stab it. I draw my dagger, but I don't know, what the fuck am I gonna do, run?! Fight!? It's a fucking moose!!!

It's about to hit us when suddenly, a cloaked man gets in between us and the moose, and it just stops...just like that, like he held a belt to a child and stopped whatever he was doing. He pets its head, and the moose calms down and walks out toward the woods. Then the man turns around and looks at the two of us, and I'm very on edge.

I see a man who looks about my age with a white coat which I can only describe as something a pirate might wear, like a swashbuckler or something with black accents, the hood up that looks a brighter white than the rest of the coat, black shirt, pants, black and brown boots, and a black fabric mask over his mouth and nose so I only see his light brown eyes, and from what I can make out, black hair. He looked behind me and raised an eyebrow.

"What. Do you need something?"

He silently points a finger behind me, and I turn around to see Zara missing.

"Oh my fucking god, where the fuck did she go?"

I can't yell out her name because the town will go fucking crazy, and news like this will spread very quickly. Then clears his throat and points to a small stand, and Zara's just hiding behind it. She was gonna let me fight a fucking moose by myself that BIT- oh wait, I told her to stay behind me and I'll do everything.....fuck her for listening to me for once.

I use a hand gesture to tell her to stay where she is, and she nods her head. I turn around and look at his coat, and it seems very familiar till I realize that it's the same guy who was in the shadows earlier. I grab my dagger and hold it to his throat, and I calmly say, "You are coming with me back to the castle, and if you don't comply, I won't hesitate to slice off your dick and feed it to my raven. You got that?"

He glared at me, and before I could react, he took my dagger, flipped me around by my arm, and shoved me away...Oh, this bitch bouta DIE.

"Ok I have A LOT of pent up anger because of that girl in the stand. You just made it fucking worse."

I grab my twin daggers and get ready to take this bitches to head off, and this bitch just turns one shoulder towards me and doesn't move like I'm just an annoyance...the AUDACITY. I run full speed because I have some aggression to let out, and the second I swing, he sidesteps it, grabs my arm, and judo-flips me onto my back. I go in full-on hashing and slashes, and he just catches my daggers...I thought this bitch was crazy till I noticed he had a weird claw thing on, and he kicked me in the gut knocking me away, and casually put his arms down.

"Ok, daggers are out," I put them away and grab my scythe chains. "Let's see you block these mother fucker."

And this bitch..this bitch. PUTS AWAY HIS WEAPONS, and just casually stands there.....I didn't think someone would piss me off more than the brat queen, but apparently, I was wrong. "OH, YOU COCKY BITCH!!!" I shout as I swing the chains at him, and this bitch just dodges it like it's high school dodgeball. I start letting out ALL my aggression, and I can't land a single thing, and I'm just getting MORE AGGRESSION TO USE ON THIS BITCH!!!!!

I swing them around into the sky, and I bring them down on him like Thor's fucking hammer, and he catches them both with some struggle from the impact. "You are very persistent," is the first thing he says, and I don't even have time to be pissed because he flips my chains around, spins around, and steps on them, and I get YEETED towards him as he grabs me and kicks me onto the fucking ground right in front of Zara, but I flip and land on my feet.

I decide, "Fine, hand to hand it is," and charge him again. I throw a punch, and he deflects it, clearly more of a defense and counter-fighting style. He throws a punch of his own as I block it and drop down and kick upwards, he jumps back, but I don't give him room to breathe as I keep attacking. We go back and forth for a while till he throws an uppercut, and I dodge it and hit him in the pressure point of his neck, and he stumbles back a bit. Any normal person would've crumpled after that, so I gotta respect him for only being stunned briefly. He holds his neck and cracks it, loosening up.

"Your good." He says I don't even have time to ready myself because one moment he's standing five feet away from me, the next I'm hit five times and on the floor with the wind knocked out of me as he holds me on the ground with his foot on my gut, leaning down towards me.

"Not so bad yourself." I reply when I can breathe.

Suddenly we hear things fall over, and I see Zara knock a few cans over. The man looks at me, then at Zara, then back at me. He releases me, and I throw myself up on my feet, and I'm ready to fight him again because I am a stubborn bitch, but I feel a hand gripping my arm. I turned around to see Ace standing behind me, and I stared at him, wondering when he got here. "Firstly...WHY IN THE HELL DID YOU BRING THE PRINCESS HERE!?!?!?!?" He shouts, angry.

"Will you shut up and not be so loud! I don't want people to know that she's here! And don't yell at me. You said for her to be by my side at all times, did you not?" I rebut, crossing my arms. "I didn't mean to chase after someone who you were gonna fight. You're supposed to PROTECT her, not BRING HER TO DANGER!!!"

"You think I wanted her to be here?! She is almost more annoying when she begs than Richie. She even threw a fucking dagger at me, when I said that I tried to leave without her I mean I tried. Trust me. And by the way, when the fuck did you get here?"

"She's hiding behind MY stand."

I look to where she is hiding, and I see her sitting on the stand, smiling like she won some kind of award.

Oh, that little brat. She's dead when she gets to the castle.

"I know what your thinking and no you're not killing her, not that you almost did that already with THIS one," Ace says, pointing at the cloaked figure that's been standing by Zara talking to her.

I look at them and back at Ace and say, "What the hell is going on? I don't even know anymore. How are they friendly? Isn't he trying to kill her or something? And why is she talking to a random stranger that kicked my... I mean... uh... that I beat up? Can I just go back to the guild? I'm getting gray hairs from all this stress like you for god's sake."

"One, the moment you come back to the guild, Your on probation for the next three missions, two, he completely kicked your ass. I saw everything, let it go, three, I don't know what th...OH MY GOD, WHY'D YOU LET HIM TALK TO HER?!?!?!" He shouts, just now processing they were talking.

"I DIDN'T KNOW HE WAS GOING TOO!!!" "WHY'D YOU LET HIM GET NEAR HER HE JUST KICKED YOUR ASS LIKE IT WAS CHILD PLAY WHAT DO YOU THINK SHE CAN DO?!?!"

"BECAUSE YOUR HERE BITCHING TO ME! And also when the fuck did you get a stand?"

"I've had it for a while. I have to make a living somehow without the guild, ALSO YOU NEED TO DO SOMETHING ABOUT THOSE TWO!"

"YOU DO SOMETHING!!!"

We both bolt towards them, weapons drawn.

"Wait!" Zara yells, but the figure calmly says, "It's ok," and once again, this bitch disarms BOTH of us. He simply grabs my arms and holds my wrists together while grabbing Ace by the face and

lifting him in the air since he didn't fight him previously, Ace took my gun from my holster and tried to aim it, but the cloaked man dismantled it in a few seconds making it useless...not gonna lie I kinda enjoyed seeing him dangling thereafter he was bitching at me.

"Now, are you two done?" he asks.

"Yeah, they are," Zara says.

"Bitch you don't tell me when I'm done." I snap.

"Oh ok do you wanna try him again, I'm sure he'd be happy to lay you out again. Plus im the queen...so i kinda do."

Now I can't tell who I hate more, the brat bitch or the boy bitch. Im fuckin torn. He puts Ace down, "I'm not here to fight, but you attack me again, i will drop you, got it?"

Ace and I both look at each other, and I know what he's gonna say, and I REALLY don't want to get bitched at again.

"Fine," I say, putting my daggers back. "We won't-" AND ACE THROWS A SUCKER PUNCH AT THE BITCH!!!!! He catches it, of fucking course he does, but what the fuck Ace?!?!?!

"I THOUGHT WE WERE GONNA TALK IT OUT LIKE YOU ALWAYS SAY TO????" I scream in frustration.

"I THOUGHT WE WERE GONNA TAG TEAM HIM, THAT'S ALL YOU DO IS FIGHT! WHY IS THIS ONE TIME I THINK LIKE YOU DO AND YOU THINK LIKE ME?????"

And the second he said that I remembered, I said the same thing to Zara...wow, now I know how Ace feels around me...damn. Before I can say shit, though, the dude chops Ace's neck, and he's out like a light, literally like he flicked a damn switch just, click, then he just picks him up and puts him on his stand like nothing happened.

Then he and Zara have a chat and walk off, and the stands a wreck, and where did the moose g- "HEY, WAIT, GET BACK HERE!!" I shout as I storm after them, catch up, grab Zara by the arm and spin her around, "Where the hell are you going?! You need to get home and away from this guy." I say.

She blinks, and realization crosses her face, "Ok, look, it's a long story, and with the convo we just had, and you've had a long day and got your ass kicked three times now, but here's what's happening. He's not the thing in the shadows. We're gonna find it. If I stay here, I'm either dead, going to get kidnapped, or marrying that dickweed of a prince. I'm going with him because he's the only one who doesn't want to kill me at the moment. You are obliged by him," points at Ace, "To never leave my side till the thing is dead. You come with us, he'll explain everything, or you could try to argue with him and try a round four?"

I stay silent for a little before I say, "I fucking hate both of you...so.damn.much."

"Feelings mutual. Why do you think I was so happy to see him knock you around?" she says, smiling and walking away.

"...I don't get paid enough for this. Maybe I'll have the guy kill me. I mean, he CLEARY can, or I'll just shove this dagger down my throat that'll do the trick," I rant on following them, "Whoa whoa whoa, hold up, who the fuck are you anyways?" I ask the guy in the cloak.

"Sorry. My name is Nick, and your name is Aria, correct?" He asks, taking down his hood and mask, and I can see I was right about the short black hair.

"Yeah it is. And if I may ask you Zara, why are you so comfortable with him? He's a complete stranger and you just met him like," I say as I look down at my fake watch, "Fifteen minutes ago?"

"Ok first off it's starting to sound like you're actually caring about me for once. And second I don't know. I feel like I know him from somewhere. Also you were a stranger just yesterday and have said SEVERAL times you wanna kill me and he hasn't, soooo." Zara says.

"Ok first that's because I have anger issues with people that I don't know. Second, what do you mean by you think you know him from somewhere? Don't you just know if you do or not?"

"That's a funny way of saying in general."

I sigh and pinch the bridge of my nose.

"Ok I'll admit I have anger issues but that doesn't matter right now. What we do need to do is figure out what we are going to do next. Are we going back to the castle or are we going on to find this thing?"

"Yeah, uh hell no we are not going back to the fucking castle. I don't want to marry that Chad. Besides he has a crusty ass beard. It's nasty."

"Yeah, seems just like a cocky arrogant prep boy who marries for power. Seen them a lot." Nick says.

"Fair. I'm not gonna ask how, but I'm just gonna go along with it, but if it gets to much for us to handle we are coming back, and leaving you here so you don't die, ok?" I ask Zara.

"Fine, whatever." She replies.

"Good, also Nick, you're a good fighter. You have my respect."

"Likewise." He says.

"Hey what about me?" asks Zara.

"You're getting there." I say to her.

"Your mocking me aren't you?"

"Yeah I am but you're kind of getting on my good side. Only because THIS one is taking your place on my bad one."

"Fair enough, not a lot of people like me anyways." Nick says, shrugging his shoulders.

We walk to a small shack with carriages, and there's no one there, so I guess it's closed, but there are not even horses to pull the carriage.

"Before we go, do you two need any supplies or need to stop anywhere?" Nick asks.

"Yea we do. But I have money on me so we can just buy some weapons and stuff." I say, although id much rather-

"Buying a new weapon is worse than getting ones you're used to. And it's better to use on food and essential rather then weaponry." Nick replies, almost mirroring my thoughts.

"Agreed, but little Mrs. Princess doesn't want to go back to the castle."

"Nope." Zara says.

"I'll sneak in and get some weapons and I'll be back. Meet me here." I say.

"How the hell are you supposed to sneak into the castle? There are way too many guards." Zara says.

"Oh, don't worry. I know how to handle them," I said while smirking.

"Ok, but you did technically kidnap the princes in their eyes so don't be too arrogant and be cautious, don't need you getting your ass kicked when you can beat them because of your arrogance." Nick states.

"We are not going to talk about that. But someone needs to watch her, and since you two are such a 'lovely couple', you can stay with her, and I'll go get weapons." I say, and as I do, I see something in Nick's expression change, it's ever so slight, but I can't make out what it is. Annoyance, sadness, confirmation, i have no clue and that bothers me.

I leave the two love birds and get the weapons easily, with no sweat whatsoever. I can't carry a lot, so I just grabbed what I found, a sword, a shield, and a few throwing knives. Then I went back to them and saw they got some food and items.

"Oh yay, Aria's back. I'm so happy." Says Zara sarcastically.

"Ok that was a little too much." I reply.

"Really, Coming from you. That's rich."

"Says the one who has acsess to daddys money?" "Oh you li-"

"Your the short one here, you wanna finish that sentence?"

"Ok ok, lets not do this please. Your both pretty, stubborn, and talkative people who have, by the looks of it, very different lives. I know its hard but could you TRY and get along?" Nick asks.

"Ok that first thing is a LIE but ok." I say.

"Its only a lie because you have self doubt."

"I- ok we are NOT talking about that."

"Alright then, you ready?"

"Yeah, I'm hungry and we are getting food. Let's go."

"We got food to last us about five days, three if you two are just snack junkies."

"No I'm not!" Zara and I say at the exact same time.

"That's a yes for both of you," He replies.

"Fine, but how are we going to travel because I don't want to walk." I say.

"The cart we got here, it'll get us around." Nick states.

I look around, and I see something missing.

"Ok that's good but we are missing something. THE GODDAMN HORSES!! CAUSE IF YOU THINK THAT ANY OF US ARE GOING TO PULL THAT SHIT YOU HAVE ANOTHER THING COMING MISTER!"

"Who said horse?" Nick asks with a smile.

All of a sudden, a loud growl can be heard. Zara yelps and runs behind me, and pushes me toward the noise.

"Wow really I feel so loved by you right now."

"You really should, you said to stay behind you!!!"

"God damn you. Why do you listen to me? Anyways another question to add to that. WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT! That noise scared Merla and she doesnt get scared even though she's a bird bitch!"

Behind me, I hear Merla caw angrily and start pecking and clawing my face.

"Oi, stop it you idiot or I will put you in a cage when we get back. And don't think that I will forget about that."

Nick chuckles a bit.

"Whats so funny???" Zara asks, holding Flare close to her.

"Nothing, it's just cute how startled you two get, especially with how aggressive Aria's reactions are." He replies, and I get a little flustered and angry.

"Ok, I am NOT cute! I'm threatning anf a killer!!." I rebut.

"Never said you wernt, compliments dont equal weakness."

I'm seriously gonna have to slap him upside the head soon, I whistle, and Merla turns into a white wolf ready to maul whatever the fuck that was, and even the brat's fox gets ready to fight. Then a stack of hay, or what we thought was hay, got up and loomed over us, and Merla and the fox turned around, but before I did, they both backed up and fuckin layed down whining. I turn around, and there's a bear behind me staring at me

"WHERE IS THAT GOD DAMN MOOSE?!?! I WANT IT BACK. Wait Merla turn into a moose."

"I wouldn't do that if I were you." Nick warns.

I whistle, and she turns into a moose. She twirls around, probably wondering what the fuck is going on.

The bear sees the moose and lets out a small roar and sends it into the shack and begins to tackle it and is about to eat it before Nick jumps in."Fluffy no!! This is a friend, not food."

The bear gets off, and Merla turns back into a bird and BOOKS it toward me as she hides behind my back.

"The fuck." I question.

Zara just stands there with her mouth wide open.

"Ayo princessa close your mouth before a fly goes in there." I say.

"You're scared that bear almost ate your bird so you are hiding it with a joke aren't you?"

"...Would you believe me if I said no?"

"No." Both Nick and Zara said at the same time.

"Well damn."

Fluffy walks up to Zara and licks her hand, and Zara pets his head,"Awwwwww, he's so cute." Zara says and plays with Fluffy.

"Ya know what I'm not even gonna question anything...but, THAT BITCH ALMOST MADE MY BIRD INTO A HAPPY MEAL!!!" I shout.

"Emphasis on almost." Nick states.

"I want to fight the bear...but also its a bear..and it just roared a moose through a shack."

"Yeah maybe don't do that." Nick advises as he hooks up Fluffy to the cart.

"So the bear pulls the cart?"

"Faster then three horses, can swim, and has the endurance of five of them on a bad day, so yeah he'll be good."

We load up the rest of the belongings and head off into the forest...where were going, I don't fucking know, but we are too far gone to turn back now so. I'll ask more later, like where, why, and of course, what the fuck, but I've had a long day, and I just want to sleep.

#action #my writing #original writing #my characters #fights

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shadow-is-here-and-queer · 1 year

Text

OKOKOKPKOKKOIEJURUUFUEU OK SO

I have this one RoTTMNT oc that is the turtles' sister and she is like. Donnie and Leo's triplet. In order to yeet her into the story, there has to be an au. An au where Draxum and Splinter had 5 turtles instead of 4.

Everything happens as normal but instead of Splinter saving all 5, he only saves 4 {the TMNT} and he is forced to flee. Draxum is unable to get the 5th turtle, because a Big Mama goon found her and took her to Big Mama.

Big Mama raises this little turtle as her own daughter, staying the same evil lady as always but having a soft spot for her little girl.

Oh yeah! The 5th turtle's name is Violante, going by Vi for short.

Vi meets the turtles while they are on patrol, it was her first time on the surface. They sort of have a weird stare down, and she dashed away. Of course, the turtles follow her because well.. they're young and dumb and this other turtle is suspicious. Eventually, they get to the hidden city and they see Vi running to the Yokai Hotel.

They meet again when they're in the Hidden City and they get to the Nexus Battle Event and they see Vi is the champion and absolutely destroying the other people. The turtles wind up encountering her after all the battles and she finally introduced herself. She didn't pick up how Big Mama talks, so she's just like.

"Hey, I have seen you guys before. My name is Violante, Vi for short, and I am the Nexus Battle Champion!"

She returns to the hotel and goes to Big Mama and they have Mother-Daughter talking before she goes back to her room.

Now, how do they find out they are related?

Vi is fighting the turtles and, as the turtles have these super cool {and powerful} Mystic Abilities she gets her ass handed to her. As she is laying there, she just sort of goes like "Lou Jitsu would be disappointed in me"

The TMNT sort of do a double take like. "Did she just?"

And Vi has to go like "oh yeah, my mom stole a file from Baron Draxum. It had me on it and it said that Lou Jitsu was my dad."

And that is how they find out she is related to them.

She does go to the sewers with them and Splinter tries to convince her to move in with them and she just goes like.

"ok, so it's nice that we're related and all but you guys aren't my family. Big Mama is, she raised me. She doesn't even force me to fight, she would literally rather me not fight."

Some extra little facts about Vi:

She is an African Helmeted Turtle

Her left ankle is very weak, thus she wraps it in bandages.

Her weapon is a trident

Her color is pink so when you put her, Donnie, and Leo together you get the bi flag.

She is the middle child. Middle most. She is an inch shorter than Leo.

The 2nd art is her without her bandana. Looks clunky because I literally edited the original art lol. She never takes her bandana off unless she is about to eat or go into water.

#rottmnt #rottmnt oc #Violante #Vi

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cryptid-kratt-kid · 2 years

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Train (A New Wild Drabble)

I wrote this because I've been listening to "Train" by Brick + Mortar and legit just could not get this scene out my head.

"I wanna run away with you, I wanna take the train with you. C'mon, run away, run away with me".

The lyrics to one of his favorite songs flowed through Chris' head as he walked along the train tracks. He looked upwards toward the moon and the stars; He was pretty sure he could make the big dipper and a couple other constellations.

He was having one of those moments. Those moments where you wish with all your very heart that you could fly. Wish that you could kick your feet off the ground and float up to the moon and dance among the stars.

A cold breeze brushed by him, making him tuck his face a little deeper in his jacket. Almost as if the wind was trying to pull him back to reality.

The scene almost reminded him of a music video. Y'know the ones where the lead singer would walk some urban area at night while belting out the chorus. He laughed a little at the thought.

He looked out over his hometown, he could see houses, and streetlights, and cars flickering by on highways. While he would take someplace wild and unpopulated over this anyday, he had to admit that it sure was pretty at night.

He stood there for a moment and wondered why he was out here. He hadn't had any particular goal in mind when he'd gone out that night, and he guessed he was sorta just, drawn to the train tracks.

He sat down on the rail and remembered something that Koki had told him once, "Sometimes, it's your spirit that wants something, instead of your conscious self."

He thought about that for a couple seconds. This place was nothing spectacular, or all that important. Heck, he was pretty sure trains didn’t even run down this old track anymore. But, he couldn’t deny that the scenery made him feel a bit like a main character.

He laughed to himself, "Why's it here of all places that's got my head in the clouds?".

And then he heard it.

A loud whistle split the air west of him, making him jump. He instinctively yeeted himself away from the tracks, and watched as a bright yellow light in the distance barrelled closer. He stood corrected, turns out a train does still use these tracks!

He stood in awe as the massive locomotive sped by in front of him. And for a reason he couldn’t fully understand, a feeling of elation and adrenaline burst throughout his body. He… he needed to run! To chase the Train! To feel the energy pump throughout his bones and his veins!

He kicked up dirt as he bounded alongside the giant vessel, almost as if he was trying to race the train. The cold wind stung a little as it whipped past his face, making his eyes water. Chris smiled and threw his head back with a joyful laugh. He suddenly felt like he understood why he’d wandered here. He suddenly felt, oh so alive.

He stretched his arms out as if they were wings, and he felt like he was flying. He closed his eyes for a moment to savor the feeling, this ridiculous but amazing feeling! He opened his eyes again and stared out at the train that was now stretching out in front of him as far as he could see.

In his euphoria, he’d momentarily stopped paying attention to his footing and tripped over his own legs. He tumbled to the ground, getting all covered in gravel and dirt. But Chris was barely even thinking about the pain. Instead, he was still reveling in the experience. His heart was pounding, and his lungs burned. He loved it.

He laid there, watching as the train whizzed by him. He calmed down eventually, and as the caboose chugged away into the distance, he got up. He smiled, he didn’t really have any words to describe how he felt at the moment.

A ray of light flashed in his eyes, snapping him out of his thoughts. His eyes widened, “Shit!”, He exclaimed in shock. He’d told Martin he’d be back before sunrise! He had to go! He practically leapt down the hill the railway sat upon, and dashed all the way home as fast as he could.

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Word Count: 718

#wild kratts #wild kratts au #new wild au

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bulletbilltime · 1 year

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I've been watching a bunch of Rivals of Aethers mod videos tonight and as impressed as I am with the quality of these mods, I am beyond frustrated that nobody has attempted to make a Zeeky H. Bomb character yet.

So for the uninitiated, Zeeky H. Bomb is a character from an old ass Flash movie called "The Demented Cartoon Movie", whose main gimmick was saying Zeeky Boogy Doog and causing massive nuclear explosions. It was later imported into MUGEN, an open source Street Fighter-esque game. In it, Zeeky was one of the most busted characters ever, sporting many spammable projectiles and even a handful of cheap OHKO moves. You can experience the horrors for yourself below.

youtube

So here's my vision for this character having played exactly zero seconds of Rivals of Aether because why tf not I have nothing better to do.

Imagine if you will, this bomb with a goofy ass smile that has literally zero close-combat options, but has a volley of projectiles that it can use to try to keep you away. It can spawn stickmen that just run forward and go Blah. It can lob smaller bombs at you. One of its moves plays a jingle and a watermelon on a rocket and that exact same goofy face barrels in from off screen and dashes into you. One of its moves creates a button that if stepped on will spawn an anvil from above that squishes you. This annoying little shit is just constantly trying to wall you out, but if you can get in then you basically have free reign to combo the loving crap out of it. To give it some capacity to do combos I guess it could have some not particularly strong physical moves, but I consider this optional to my vision.

Of course, to honor its source material, one of the moves that Zeeky can do is utter the cursed words, "Zeeky Boogy Doog", which if allowed to be uttered to completion without being hit, will trigger a massive explosion which will deal lots of damage and knockback to all enemies, no matter where they are. To keep it balanced, it could be charged through a meter of sorts that gets built up throughout the match. Maybe it can be charged up like Cloud's limit break in Smash, maybe it increases over time, maybe it goes up when you get hit. And the knockback & damage could be dependent on how close Zeeky is to its opponent, so you can't just run to the other side of the map, go Zeeky Boogy Doog and yeet your opponent while they're trying to recover.

Now why the hell would one implement this? idk, as a joke character I guess. Or maybe it could be turned into an actual viable character. Who knows? I just think that since the modding scene for Rivals reminds me of the era of MUGEN videos on YouTube, that it would be a cool historical nod to bring in this horror to the game as well.

#bulletbilltime rambling #mugen #zeeky h bomb #the demented cartoon movie #rivals of aether #shitpost kinda #honestly don't take this suggestion too seriously #this is basically just a joke #I am literally just an outside observer with too much time on hand #but if someone wants to actually do it... go for it and show me when it's done I guess!#anyway I'm probably gonna buy rivals in the near future #you can install a mod to play as a fucking goomba #10/10 game honestly #also madeline from celeste was made into this and she looks fucking amazing #the post is stored in the tags #Youtube

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not-so-childsplay · 2 years

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Writings - Heck Town

[Something that just keeps popping into my mind whenever I listen to Catchy Song.

Word Count: 1,770 Warnings: Minor blood and a head injury. Superman said YEET THE BITCH- Relevance: A brief moment of post-LM2 Celexa’s history, as well as a potential future muse’s moment of ‘oh god I like them’. Because I’m a shipping b!tch and you know this.]

“Listen to the music and let your mind gooo...” Off-brand Wonder Woman murmured, eyes going in opposing directions as Emmet turned slightly away from her. Celexa quirked an eyebrow.

“I don’t wanna listen to a song...!” His plea went unheard. The entire neighborhood began to move towards the duo, Rex quickly back-tracking as humming filled the strange world. Celexa knew this tune. They’d heard it in their alternates’ memories, flickering across boring days at their given work or echoing in the background of video games. Against their better judgement, they began to tap their foot. “I wanna find my friends!!” They were being circled. Rex stepped in front of the two.

“Guess we’re stuck with option one!” They all began backing up. The crowd was closing in. The shining sun reflected off of literally bouncing pastel-roofs. Hands were raised, the lyrics beginning to echo like a bomb.

“This song’s gonna get stuck inside yo!”

“This is the most disturbing thing I’ve ever seen!” Rex and Emmet were spinning, trying to look for an out. Around them, the buildings began to rise- the very beat somehow causing them to grow in height. Roofs flipped downward while walls soared high, new rooms and overhangs building themselves into existence. Cream-colored walls surrounded on all sides, stretching far into the distance.

“This song’s gonna get stuck inside yo!”

“I’m all-for new buildings but that’s a bit extreme!” Celexa spun. Their foot kicked out in time with the beat, crashing into a Lego and sending the stranger hurtling, a beam of solid-white forcing them further back.

“Run!!!” Rex turned and bolted. Celexa and Emmet weren’t too far behind. The road they had just been on suddenly disappeared, a giant stage of blue and purple blocks popping up out of the unknown. “Don’t listen to the music if you want your noodle to stay al dente!” The walls split open. The people of this strange place- Duplo and Lego alike, as well as a few Barbies- were all dancing in their homes, regardless of what they were doing. The entire city had come alive, and it seemed intent on the biggest flash mob Celexa had never seen.

“This song’s gonna get stuck inside yo hea-a-ad~!”

“LET’S GO!” Unlike what the others may have been anticipating.... Celexa was absolutely going with the beat. They were crashing into the enemy, one minute sliding, the next sending out beams of light that sent entire waves of the crowd soaring backward. “WOOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOO!” The song was definitely in their head- but unlike the brainwashed citizens, they weren’t going to be so passive about it.

“...how...?” The two Legos were given little time to stare.

“You heard Rex- RUN!” Celexa spun away from the encounter. Miniature stars of yellow splashed out. They lashed at the mob. Citizens were sent flying and flung, smacking into buildings but offering little in ways of damage. “C’MON!” They reached out, pulling Emmet up from the ground.

“I didn’t know I could do the worm--!”

“And it’s epic, now GO!” Despite the urgency of their tone, Celexa was smiling, nearly laughing. Rex’s face had twisted to confusion, but it was quick to vanish with a smirk.

“You got it!” The three dashed. The mob tailed. The song was loud, blaring over every thought they could possibly have. “We’ll be safe inside of-!” They all rushed into a building with a heart over the door... Only to come face-to-face with more Duplo-folk.

“Hey guys~.”

“They’re everywhere!” Rex growled. He spun. Everything became a blur of music and dance, with Celexa taking up the rear. They took to every other step sending back a shockwave of light, sending any would-be pursuers falling. They went up an unknown number of flights of stairs, only to break a wall and (in their momentum) fall out of the building. Celexa’s heart was pounding.

They were sure it would hurt in a minute or two, but for the time being, they felt exhilaration. Emmet and Rex landed first, with the blue-vested one somehow managing to catch and set Celexa down in a move so smooth they tripped on the ‘pavement’.

“Connor? Ripley? The other one?!” His voice had Celexa spinning, hands raised and ready to fight- only to see Rex’s raptors, now coated in glitter, wearing sombreros... And shaking maracas?

“What the fuck-”

“'Cause it's so catchy, catchy~!”

They grabbed Rex before his raptors could reach him. They started off, only to realize Emmet had gone missing-- he’d been here not two seconds ago??--

“Guys, help me!!!!” His distressed cry sent both whirling. There he was, now in the mob, arms interlinked with several Legos straight out of the Wizard of Oz.

“Think hard thoughts, Emmet!! Hard thoughts, or the rhythm is gonna getcha!” He’d been grabbed. Sadly, Celexa wasn’t a second behind. They were pulled into the mob. Celexa easily wrestled out of the flimsy restraints, for a moment grateful for their human anatomy and its inability to work with Lego.

“Gonna make you happy, happy!~ Don't try to fight it, sing alon---”

“Don’t try to fight it, sing ALONG!” At the word ‘along’, Celexa summoned forth as much light as they could muster- the world went dark for a moment, leaving only the human glowing, a living torch of energy and particles... And then it shot out. The entire crowd was sent crashing into the ground and nearby buildings. Celexa hit the ground with a dull ‘thud’. “Bought some time, let’s go!” The blast had been built to avoid Rex and Emmet, which had led to both of them hitting the ground as well-- but at least they’d bought a minute.

“This song's gonna get stuck inside yo...”

“...shit.” The others were already getting up.

“RUN!!!” Rex commanded. He didn’t need to speak twice.

[]

The sun was beginning to set. They didn’t have much longer.

“It’s a dead end!” Emmet yelped. Celexa grinded to a halt, melting a path into the Lego ground as a wall built itself up before the three. Behind them, the music- and the crowd- was closing in.

“Run but you can't hide, I'll find you~!”

“Cel, help me hold ‘em off!” Rex raced back towards the crowd. He kicked a van the trio had run by, effectively creating a barrier of it. Celexa surged forth, light spinning into a very hastily-constructed wall. “Emmet, you gotta break the ground! My CPD- Convienent Plot Device- tells me there’s a planet just below us!” He pulled out a strange looking contraption for all of two seconds. “We’ll hold ‘em back, you bust us out!”

“But I don’t know how!” The wall was failing. Celexa narrowed their eyes, hands outstretched. They imagined every bit of light hitting them flowing into their hands, then out into the wall.

“Emmet, I know you can do this.” Cracks were forming.

“Everybody’s head gon' rock~.”

“You got this!” He had to. Otherwise, they were going to be... Wait.

“What makes you mad?” The wall of light snapped. Sections of it soared, blinding white smacking sections of the crowd away before vanishing with a ‘zp!’. Celexa leapt over the barrier. “CELEXA!”

“BREAK THE GROUND!” They roared back. “YOU GUYS GOT THIS!” Someone grabbed their arm. They slipped out. Another went for their head. They smacked it away. The crowd was closing in. They jumped. A platform appeared underfoot. Spikes materialized underneath that.

Problem: Superman.

He crashed into them, slamming Celexa into a nearby building. The wall cracked around them. Superman blinked, momentarily confused.

“Oops.” The crowd was at least distracted, now watching the spectacle moreso than trying to overcome Rex’s flimsy defense. “Hi, Supes.” A hand raised in greeting... Transformed into a blinding flash. It was stronger than usual for a reason.-- Superman grunted as he backpedaled. Celexa slid down the wall. The cracks snagged on their clothes, flipping them upside down. They only had a few seconds before their head would hit the pavement- and, inevitably, they’d crack their head like an egg.

Not that the pounding they were experiencing was any better.

“Gonna make you happy, happy!~”

Hands. They were airborne. A hand flashed out-

“Watch it, Flashlight!” The energy was pulled back just before they would have actually tried to melt their attacker. Air soared. “Now hang on!” Wait wh-?!

[]

Rex hadn’t accounted for something resurfacing.- For him, after those years he’d spent in Undar, he was sure he was stone to the core.. Seeing his past self was a strange wake-up call, new memories etching themselves into his mind as he tried his hardest to keep Emmet and Celexa- his human friend- alive. When the music had started, he’d worried. He remembered Celexa not quite conforming to the rules of their universe, instead running by a strange set that made them... A lot more vulnerable.

But even as panic had flicked across his mind, and they’d started dancing-- he was proven incorrect.

While he was sure Emmet and himself would have inevitably been brainwashed like the rest of the citizens if they listened, Celexa seemed to be taking that music and using it, getting more energetic even as they fought back the waves of happy Legos and Duplo-folk.

That had been the moment he’d felt something- something other than his burning need to save Emmet, his younger self in a new future. He blinked, refusing to let it fester any further.

“You heard Rex- RUN!”

[]

They’d jumped. Were they trying to die?!--- Rex’s head spun to look through the glass of the van, just in time to see the human slam into a building. Lego bricks cracked all around them, a few splatters of red splashing across the surface. He barely saw the attacker.

There was a blinding flash of light as he threw back the van in a rage.

“Gonna make you happy, happy!~”

“NO!!!!” His own scream was intertwined with Emmet’s- for a moment, two voices ringing the same sentiment. He didn’t bother looking back. Celexa was falling. He jumped. His hands wrapped around their arms, the one thing he knew he had purchase on. They slid up until they stuck, Rex pulling the human close in a split-second maneuver before spinning back.

“Don't try to fight it, sing along~!”

“Watch it, Flashlight!” He’d seen a hand moving to blast his own face full of what was probably death-inducing light. He kicked off the wall. The building’s foundation split away as the upper half smacked into the building behind it. This started a chain reaction that he didn’t dare watch. Emmet had broken the ground. “Now hang on!”

They were aiming right for the hole- and the planet below.

#blood tw #injury tw #[a change is due/a different view/we must go on: celexa dust]#[take my revenge/that's what I'm gonna do/I'm a warrior/baby/what else is new?: rex dangervest]#[I've been on my own for long enough/maybe you can show me how to love: blinding vests]#[now I've got my eyes wide open/first I was afraid/but now I'm hopin': emmet brickowski]#[piece by piece we make a story: writings]#lego movie 2 fanfic #[-*yeah yeah my brain has been on this scene for-- a while*-]#[-*also it took OVER AN HOUR to find a t@g for r3x I'm dying*-]

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