#(said like a totally normal person)

[petorahs]

shuake works because it feels like akechi's the only one who listens to akira and prompts the otherwise quiet leader to talk.

in a game about defiant teens making their voice heard, goro akechi listens to akira's voice from the get-go. out of detective-sleuthing/work duties, sure, but over time it's clear that akechi genuinely finds akira interesting.

in fact, akechi's confidant route regardless of which game is being played starts with him deeming akira the antithesis to his thesis, a "worthwhile debate partner". akechi values joker's opinions.

its always nice to see people point out that in that one 3rd sem phone call with akechi, its the most involved akira's been in a conversation in-game. i myself remember inserting a lot more input during that story-sequence which usually i can put on autoplay otherwise. akechi, in a whole different reality, still seeks out joker's opinions on it. it's like he trusts no one but him.

and imo this gives a lot of character to akira. he talks the most with akechi. the quietest people have the most on their minds, and it shows with akira. but akira never gets a say in anything, and who would listen? he's less than a nobody in reality since society dictated that. so he pointedly made himself silent, hiding his thoughts beneath an impenetrable mask. during important story moments, akira favors doing more than saying. his teammates and confidants are all directly inspired by his actions over the course of the game.

but with akechi, it's different. actions seem to take a backseat as they continue with their verbal back-and-forth. in rank 7 of royal, they play pool while talking, but it's clear to the outsider that the focus is in the layered conversation they're having. they primarily talk everytime akechi's in the coffee shop, because they dont usually see eachother in their busy schedules. it's not just "hi, hello, how are you?" with them but "i find you and everything you stand for interesting. let's talk more."

there's something to be said about how two people with vastly different and opposing views seek eachother out to further discuss things instead of antagonizing eachother. its why maruki said "despite being enemies, your relationship was never based on hatred or ill will".

their relationship was never a one-sided thing. akechi helps joker as much as joker helps him... arguably more. he eggs joker on, shows him that he can do better. otherwise, the leader would remain stagnant and unchallenged. there is no progress where there is no thesis and-- you can finish the rest.

#persona 5 #shuake #goro akechi #akira kurusu #been defensively quiet lately and was thinking how nice it is to have someone listen to and validate my thoughts. #maybe not always agree but. making me feel like my words are worthwhile #aishi.docx #and then i realized thats exactly what akechi does with joker. damn rivals... #they should exist irl too... #oh to have a smug pretty n intelligent boyfriend telling me im smart while he twirls his spoon in the tea i made him... #anyway i really like the topic of joker's quietude cause i feel like it makes sense that he wasnt always like that at all. #him becoming quiet after getting shut down over and over is like. so humbling and a real epidemic i fear... #this is a personal post more than anything i feel HSJDBJS me giving joker my fears and pains. but actually joker copied ME #(said like a totally normal person)

[adhd-merlin]

merlin is so funny, he's like "arthur can't find out I have magic", then he goes and says shit like "every leaf and every bug is full of life here. can't you feel the world's vibrating"

#what a fucking weird thing to say lol #he said it so casually too #“oh you can't feel the trees thrumming with life? strange” #I like the idea that merlin has no frame of reference for what's normal for a non-magic person to feel #weird little wizard #(I also love arthur shrugging like that's a totally normal thing to say) #(sorry I've been watching that disir scene again) #merlin #merlin and arthur #ep 5x05

[aiscapades]

wait so like. mc's curse makes them monstrous? not human?

the line between monster and human grows thinner and thinner with every revelation

it's almost like this is a game made by queer folk to express queer experiences of being made to feel othered, like a monster, like your very existence is a threat no matter your outward appearance or your actions

#so mc isn't HUMAN like they're not NORMAL so that's why vere could eat them. that's why he said vague stuff about mc #being not human but not monster #mc IS a monster. just like how leander is a monster. #mc was BORN with hands that turn other people into killing monsters. OF COURSE MC IS ALSO A MONSTER #i've literally never thought about this before. I'm thinking it through now #WE ARE ALL MONSTERS GUYS. we're all monstrous. #touchstarved game #it's 5am i haven't slept. #also this totally applies to bipoc experiences as well!!!!!!! i just don't have personal experience w that #( A SPARROW SINGS ) * my posts!

[iero]

Does anyone else with tattoos get absolutely terrified that you're not gonna like the design mock-up when the artist finally shows you it?

#personal #I've never not declined a tattoo when the artist showed me it. HOWEVER I DID get a tattoo of something I wasn't entirely impressed with. #When I got my Demo Lovers tattoo years ago the artist showed me something I hated and then proceeded to be a total dick to me when I said #that's not what I wanted and asked him to redraw. #<- And I wasn't mean. I actually was afraid to tell him so LMAO #So the bad experience of that is probably why I get so afraid but I'm feeling the fear now a week and a half before I'm supposed to get it. #And I'm not from the area so it's not like I can just reschedule. #Also I know this is Not Normal. Most people are like 'I'm scared of the pain!' and I'm like 'I'm scared I won't like the design.' #But I also have 10 tattoos now so the pain is totally second nature to me at this point.

[queen0fm0nsterz]

Reading my fave thin man and lady fic. Kicking my feet a lot because tbh. Sometimes a sad man really is just a weird woman's science project in a way that is so homoerotic

#carols.txt #when i tell you i've been re-reading this single one shot religiously every single month for almost three years I mean it #《straight》 ship so good we call it queerbaiting #LMAOOOOOO #call it yaoyuri the way these old people r tragic and doomed by the narrative or whatever #listen as a bi person on the aroace spectrum whatever this fic was trying to convey really strikes a cord #while its not the same as my own this characterization of them is so intriguing. im so hooked on it #^^ one thing i think this person really nailed was thin man's immaturity (stemming from his emotions oftentime being too big to control) -> #and the desire of attention that comes with said immaturity while also having the lady be both cold (normal) and intrigued in a way that -> #that really fits her character. curiosity is one of the many facets that make up her character that don't get explored much and i think its #done so well here for like no reason💀 THIS AUTHOR COOKED TOO HARD YOU GUYS #like ofc she wouldnt send him away. shes studying him under a microscope. even though hes annoying as hell #thin man is plagued by sassy man syndrome in this which is really fucking funny cus it lasts a total of 3 seconds before she finds him out #PLUS THE TALK ABOUT THE TOWER AND THE WORLD... AUGHHH #i need this author to give me their brain NOW #AUGHHHHHAAGGGHEEHH #everyone needs to start doing thinlady the way this person was doing it #this is the biblically accurate old people (in case my theory abt baby lady having been in the pale city is wrong) #live laugh love. its my birthday. spoiling myself a bit. goddamn.

[unicornsaures]

my amrev mooties watching me mass reblog the outsiders stuff and probably being extremely confused or something

#im hoping you guys read the outsiders in school #ive actually read the outsiders twice in school ? #urgg my outsiders phase in like 7th grade comin back around #two very conflicting fandoms might i add #but also im not very invested in the fandom #i just think dallas is cool #shameless dally apologist #i KNOW he was a shitty person throughout the book and whatnot #and he was probably a horrible influence #but he hit. kinda close to home #that mutually obsessive relationship w/ johnny ohmmygod #its just :( #ME TOO!! #trying to kys over your fp is extremely real and unfortunately i completely get it #and his IMPULSIVENESS #AND HIS PUSHING AWAY OF EVERY EMOTION AND BASICALLY BEING A TICKING TIME BOMB AUGH #i will SHAMELESSLY say that dally is my favorite #i like johnny and pony and two bit and soda and whatnot #but dally just hits WAY too hard #imcrying over his entire dynamic with johnny actually #because i GET IT #i udnerstand it way too hard:( #mutual obsession and then fucking destroying each other in the process is VERY REAL #AND I HATE IT #BECAUSE I TOTALLY UNDERSTAND IT!!! #ive said id kms if my fp died way too many times and i 100% meant it #COUGH because girly tried COUGH #okay im just lore dumping in yhe tags #moral og the story is doli is insane and relates way too hard to dally to be normal #dolirants

[void-botanist]

19, 20, 21, 22 for the polycule of your choice? :0

whoops we're doing it for two of them :3 and I'll include Heith too

19 - Summarize your character's goals in one sentence.

Marcus: be okay and go home, but also never have to tell Heith about all of his lies by omission

Heith: figure out if she's actually for real serious about Marcus (she thinks she might be actually for real serious about Marcus) and one way or another move out of her hotel room on Aephar

Yera: be a mom and try to make peace with the fact that Marcus is not here to be a part of the family

Hossan: be a dad and help Umedes figure themself out

Gren: see Marcus again and hopefully find out that there was no need to be jealous about his girlfriend, and make sure everyone's okay, especially the baby

Pali: prevent Kiatcarmen from finding Marcus (though that isn't a very active job), make sure the shifter coalition in the court doesn't budge, and get somewhere with her studies of shifter magic

Umedes: figure out whether they want to have a kid or not help

Kiatcarmen: find Marcus, because Minaya must not ascend, and do whatever else she can to preserve her accomplishments in the kingdom

Pirianus: broaden Kiatcarmen's vision beyond legacy, or, failing that, as he has for some 30+ years, get her to open up to him

Caladea: see Marcus again, and for his polycule's sake believe with all her heart the lies they tell Kiatcarmen

Thade: continue completing the political project du jour and end up in a happily ever after with Pirianus, which might also make him more welcome in the palace

Orvi: complete the one thing he was installed in the palace to accomplish

20 - Who's in the way of those goals?

Marcus: his mother. Always his mother. And honestly a little bit himself

Heith: herself, mostly. This is so not like her - well, specifically the part where she's still here when there have been plenty of times to go home

Yera: realistically, Kiatcarmen. But she still sometimes feels like she's lost some of her verve

Hossan: Umedes is the big challenge here. They're just so indecisive

Gren: Kiatcarmen, but sometimes it's easier to focus on the fact that Marcus has an interstellar girlfriend that none of them have ever met and that's so frustrating

Pali: herself. There aren't enough hours in the day for everything, and she has to sleep ugh

Umedes: themself, because they were the one who said this would be a great idea for when Marcus comes back. Who 100% believed Pali and Minaya and her ferasca spouses that this would go great. And who also took one look at Yera & Hossan's baby and thought that maybe they were signing up for more than they realized

Kiatcarmen: Marcus. Always Marcus. But she also blames Minaya and Yera and Pali for his disappearance, and she needs Pirianus to just shut up. This would have been so much easier with Jimmy

Pirianus: Kiatcarmen because he put his eggs all in one basket. But he mostly blames himself

Caladea: Kiatcarmen, but she tries to focus on what she can do better, and how she's getting in her own way

Thade: he's beginning to suspect he's been in his own way this entire time but it can't be understated how much Pirianus is constantly hot and cold

Orvi: it changes frequently, but always some contingent of the court

21 - What is your character's relationship with their emotions?

Marcus: he can't control his bad emotions, so he suppresses them. This has never caused any problems

Heith: she's just as cynical about her emotions as she is about everything else, but sometimes she just can't not feel something completely unironically

Yera: she's gonna feel them whatever they are so [grits teeth] negative emotions are part of the fullness of experience (she will be screaming into this pillow later)

Hossan: left to his own devices, he would feel his emotions, and then let them cast away upon the wind. Being with Yera and Gren has made him learn how to interrogate them more

Gren: he feels everything. A lot. He also conceptualizes things in terms of feelings a lot

Pali: she would like to believe she doesn't have them, but then she lays awake at night deconstructing them

Umedes: they tend to put intense feelings away for later, but don't ever get to later unless later comes for them first

Kiatcarmen: her emotions are so rich and nuanced and nobody understands that, so all of her emotions collapse into some flavor of annoyance

Pirianus: don't like that feeling? Repress it! This will never result in it returning in continually more warped and incomprehensible forms

Caladea: being in the palace seems to have stunted her emotions - they're flatter, duller, and way more anxious no matter what they are

Thade: don't like that feeling? Deflect it! The more mirrors there are between you and your emotions the less you will ever know what they are and the less you can ever be responsible for them

Orvi: he has a mental Tupperware for emotions that allows him to keep control of himself. He is the only person on this list who will actually open that Tupperware on purpose later

22 - What regrets do they have, if any? (From any part of the story, not just exposition.)

Marcus: missing out on eight years of his "real" life, and especially not being there when Gren's grandmother died. If only he'd been stronger, he could have stayed

Heith: before finding out about Marcus, that she's kind of a flake to her band, but they don't seem to mind that much. After finding out about Marcus, that she ever thought there was some kind of "magic" between them and maybe she could feel naïve about love for two seconds

Yera: she regretted drifting away from her father and sister, so she's fixing that now

Hossan: most of his regrets are from the now-distant past and don't make much sense - even he will say so - but he always finds himself regretting that he can't seem to do more for people

Gren: not going home even more before his grandmother died, even though he was practically splitting his time between his home city and the palace. He also regrets letting Marcus leave, even though he had to, and there was no other real choice

Pali: after getting married, she got more distant from her professor mentor, and the regret hit her hard when they died

Umedes: most immediately, thinking that having a kid was a good idea (they are beginning to think that this is a pregnancy kink that got out of hand). But more than anything they regret not going with Marcus, even though they couldn't

Kiatcarmen: Ashmalo was a liability, but she still regrets that he died (despite her image she does not think that assassination is the right way to deal with most problems, including Ashmalo). Conversely, she regrets that she couldn't save Jimmy, even though medical science itself could not have saved Jimmy. She also regrets letting Minaya slip out from under her thumb, because if she hadn't, she wouldn't be stuck looking for her runaway son

Pirianus: that he can't seem to permanently extract himself from Thade. If he stops and thinks about it (read: gets drunk and sad) he regrets spending so many years of his life trying to get through to a woman who would just as soon throw him to the dogs

Caladea: that she couldn't do more for Marcus or Minaya or Ashmalo, and that she still can't. And that being stuck in the palace has left her struggling to try and pick up the pieces of her creativity and her passion even though it should have given her unlimited resources to pursue them

Thade: things he's said to people. Most of them used to be seared in his brain because he thought they were funny, and eventually he figured out that oh, maybe they weren't. But some of them seemed bad from the moment they came out of his mouth (not before that, unfortunately, because he wasn't thinking about it) and he wishes he could take them back for real, especially the things he's said to Pirianus

Orvi: that he's still here. He had one thing to accomplish, and even though it was complex, it's taking SO. LONG. He knew that marrying into the royal family meant that he probably wasn't going to permanently go home again, but the longer this drags on the less he even wants to show his face there, and he wonders if it was worth it at all

#I need to spend more time with Heith tbh. I know she must have other regrets in her life that feed into the cynicism #I'm just not totally sure what/what her situation is outside of her band #Kiatcarmen's polycule gives me the worst heartache help #I actually wrote like 2k words about some shit Thade said to Pirianus after she died and how that did not go well #honestly Thade also kind of regrets never yet telling Pirianus that he loves him as anything but a joke. but he's not unpacking that one #me: Pali was basically a wizard's apprentice before she got married but there are no wizards in this setting #me: wait #I think it's pretty clear actually that Pali doesn't really do regrets. she's maybe better at forgiving herself than any of the others #simultaneously laughing and crying when I imagine Umedes with the baby because they are TERRIFIED of hurting it somehow #despite normally being a very gentle person and very unlikely to do anything wrong #kink mention #c: Kiatcarmen #c: Orvi #c: Caladea #c: Pirianus #c: Thade #c: Marcus #c: Yera #c: Gren #c: Pali #c: Umedes #c: Hossan #c: Heith #wip: iecunem #50 questions ask game

[sunflowercandie]

Sometimes a character in a film being covered head to toe in blood can be something so poetic cinema, so erotic

#horror #blood #lowkey this is about the descent #the descent #literally my favorite horror movie and i think that shows what kind of sexually i have lmao 🤣 #girboss #girlboss movie fr #movie #a horror movie isnt top tier unless someone gets covered in blood #carrie #it chapter 2 #the shinning #i said this same thing to an irl person once a totally normal person and they looked at me like i was insane

[glitterock]

i’ve seen some people claiming you’re a terf or at least friends(?) with a terf. is this true?

i’ve answered this before and i really don’t want to talk about it again because it’s super upsetting to me that people would even think that with 0 evidence but i’ll lay it all out one more time:

a friend of mine from irl also just so happens to have a blog. she accidentally reblogged a picture from an apparent terf on here and didn’t know. since then someone on here made a post about my friend saying that since this happened she must be a crypto terf and that since i know her, i must be a terf apologist or a terf myself. this post included absolutely no evidence that i hold terf ideals except for the fact that i simply know someone who accidentally reblogged a picture. since this person has a following and once someone in here is called a terf it sticks to them, now a large amount of people who know nothing about and have no real facts to go off of are calling me a terf, telling my mutuals im a terf, and spreading a huge fucking nasty rumor about me.

for starters, my friend is not a terf. me and her are a part of the same irl community so i’ve seen her interact with trans people and trans women in our community as well as my friend group which consists of trans people and she’s nothing but kind. we also have had conversations about transness in the lesbian community so i know exactly what her morals and thoughts are on this particular topic and she isn’t a trans exclusionary person. she says she just doesn’t check where she reblogs things from as many of us do because we have lives and don’t have time to research every single username we reblog from. I am believing her because i know her actions in real life and my real life friendships and relationships are more important than what ppl i will never meet on the internet think of me.

i don’t want to have to prove myself because it feels fucking ridiculous and weird and performative to have to make a list of reasons why i’m not a terf but since people keep saying this about me:

i have trans femme friends, i have lived with trans femme roomates and currently live my my best friend who is a trans man, and a i have little cousin who i adore who is a trans woman. When my cousin came out i sent her a huge box full of old clothes, makeup, books about queerness and transness, buttons, accessories, etc. and my aunt called me crying saying what a huge difference it made. When i am out at queer events and see trans women who are are by themselves i always try to make a point of saying hi or complimenting their outfits so they feel a little less alone. When creating my zine, i knew that it would be imperative for me to include trans femme voices in it to create a proper narrative of the lesbian community because trans women are an important part of our community and i have nothing but respect and adoration for them. I always try and do my best to be a trans ally especially knowing the privilege i have as an afab femme in the lesbian community, and I have never once in my life held any terf ideals and never will because that is genuinely not how i am. it’s extremely extremely upsetting that people have stuck this label to me without knowing anything about me and especially without having any proof that i’ve ever said anything against trans women, trans people in general, and tbh i don’t even know anything about radical feminism.

the person who made that post also claimed i was friends with 2 people on here who are terfs, one of them being the person that said something along the lines of: “i would only fuck a femme but i could only be with butches” and it caused a huge fucking mess on here a few months ago. I need to make this extremely clear that we are no longer friends and haven’t been in over a year and have been no contact, again, for a year. i was in an absolutely terrible toxic sexual friendship with them that made me feel genuinely horrible about myself and I spent weeks in therapy trying to unpack it all, get over it, and get out of it. having this old friendship that was so awful for me being thrown in my face as if i’m still in it also is super upsetting for me.

if u want to see the post, im pretty sure the user that made it is meansweatydyke or something like that and im sure it’s still up so u can see for yourself. i want u to pay attention tho to the fact that nothing in their call out post actually pertains to my personal morals or thoughts and only is about my proximity to people who have mistreated me/ or have done things unknowingly. it’s super fucking irritating and upsetting. I am 100% on board for calling people out when their actions show that they are bad people, but i have made 0 actions that show this besides being guilty by association.

short answer: no i am not a terf, have never been a terf, and will never be a terf. it says that in my pinned post, and i always strive to uplift my trans friends and trans voices in the community with the platform i’ve made for myself online and in my zine. anyone who knows me knows i am not a terf.

id really love it if people would stop spreading this horrible fucking rumor about me and stop telling people i am a terf now with absolutely no evidence to back it up

#anon #like i don’t want to keep talking about this but i need everyone to know this #this also isn’t the first time the person who made the call out post has said stuff about me #when i made that post about how queerness is messy they made an indirect saying i was lesbophobic? literally for what #that person just doesn’t like me. and it looking for a reason to validate that. #like you can not like me that is totally fine but to make up a reason as to why you don’t like me and that reason being that imma terf #with nothing ti back it up other than i know someone or used to know someone #is actually vile and fucking bully behavior tbh #especially since i’ve never interacted w that person ever in my life like just hate me from afar like a normal person pls #in the call out they were like ‘i’ve always had a bad feeling about her but never had any evidence to back it up!’ like yeah #that’s called just not liking someone for no reason #which you can totally do!!!!! that’s fine!!!! just don’t make up a fucking reason to go along with it

[fluffypotatey]

brb gonna watch some immortal monkeys divorce for the nth time ✌️

#then watch edits of said divorce for 30+ minutes like a totally normal sane person #lmk #shadowpeach #oh golly what on earth could i be talking about????

[akagamiko]

here's my hot take as a shanks appreciator & a buggy stan: bro buggy's the one who left shanks! 😭

#shanks standing in the rain after getting totally abandoned by the very last person that he had left #and that's AFTER buggy screamed at him about being a coward!! and then ran off yelling about how he never forgave him #like this was a totally messy scenario and buggy was clearly SO hurt by shanks not wanting to go to laugh tale right away #but he literally said 'i've changed my mind FOR NOW' #everyone making 15 y/o shanks out to be a jerk/EVIL over it #they were literal children but bugs idolized shanks SO much that he really thought shanks was gonna be king of the pirates in like a WEEK #have always felt like shanks is very in touch with his humanity and all these aspects of being human #but especially with the celestial dragon possibilities i feel like shanks wouldn't like that buggy put him on a pedestal because he's alway #seen he and buggy as being equals & wouldn't like being above everyone else #tl;dr: poppy is sad about shanks & the shuggy break up again :( #i know buggy is everyone's baby girl now (valid) but they were both victims in the break up scene okay!!! #buggy's hurt was valid but he overreacted a bit lbr and shanks didn't betray buggy by not wanting to go get the one piece immediately!!! #ANWYAY....i'm normal thanks :) esp after chapter 1082

[infizero]

every time i so much as think about that scene where light looks at porn magazines while scowling i go into hysterics its genuinely the funniest thing i've ever seen

#the funniest thing is is that i truly believe he thought he was being 100% convincing. that that's normal behavior for a completely straight #completely allosexual man #light is fucking awful and i hate him but also there's nuance to him. and sometimes i can get a little like. oh thinking about his life #before the series. specifically factoring in my headcanons about him being gay aroace and autistic and stuff. ppl have written some rlly #good fics surrounding those topics.... but yeah thats not even canon stuff but i dont care #anyways its not in a way of making excuses for how he is i just think it adds more to his character #hes total garbage but i think theres really interesting stuff with him when it comes to how he's.... VERY disconnected from others #just in general. he's like aware of how to act ''normal'' on like the most textbook surface level without being like. Aware enough to #be able to make it more convincing. and as ridiculous as it is i do see some of myself in him in that sense #also that person who said light and L is just autistic guy who's been masking his entire life vs autistic guy who's never masked in his #entire life. LITERALLY EXACTLY. genuinely perfect way to describe them they are both so similar when it comes to this #but the ways they go about it are very different. light has been playing the part of the perfect son his whole life. L doesnt try to change #himself for anyone and doesnt care when people think hes weird. both of them arent very socially aware and havent had any real friends #their whole lives. its such a fascinating parallel between them #i could go on a whole fucking thing about how light was pretending to be someone he's not around his family and at school and everything #long before he got the death note BUT. i wont. at least not right now #jesus christ how did i go from laughing about him with the magazine to this. my bad #derailed my own damn post. idk swagever #will say rq tho. watched a vid on youtube that pointed out how light expected his family to think nothing of the fact that he's gone to #such drastic measures to hide his diary when making the plan with hiding the death note which is like #that level of dedication would NOT be normal. so the fact that light expects his family to think nothing of it...... #i mean you could read that as light just once again being socially unaware. but it could also imply that light's family kind of Knows #he's hiding something and just doesn't address it. (he's gay. im talking about him being gay) #the video also referenced this comic that i didnt rb cause the actual premise of it (lawlight wedding) is um. #not at all my kind of thing. BUT it was light describing himself as a house with a basement when his family sees him as a one story house #and i thought that was such a cool analogy #ANYWAYYYSSSS i need to go to bed. thanks if you read my ramblings #serena.txt #death note posting

[arowrath]

am i having premonitions or do i just have anxiety

#text #had this like AWFUL gut feeling when a classmate said something totally normal the other day #and i keep thinking abt it and being like. Something Bad Is Going To Happen. To Her #and maybe i just have anxiety or ptsd or something but like . what if the feeling is right #AND LIKE. it's this very specific very negative feeling abt this person she mentioned positively. no clue who that person is #but i'm literally. THIS SOUNDS INSANE I KNOW BUT. like . #AGHGHGHHH. #going up 2 her b4 class tomorrow like hey girlie how are u doing no reason

[wild-at-mind]

(this is about trans stuff)

Probably need to get counselling about the fact that I’m so scared that my hormone balance is my personality.

#the cycle #so like i tend to associate my feelings with the Cycle position (menstral) that i happen to be in #so i feel strong and confiden and vivacious? upswing towards ovulation #sad and delicate? downswing towards menstruation #just being biologically essentialist or whatever some people say #thing is a lot of stuff about the effect of trans related HRT can read a little :/ if you're not feeling it #so the obvious example is gendercritical assholes saying trans women talking about feeling more emotional after starting hrt is misogyny #i actually think being emotional is not a bad thing tbh so they are tipping their own hands there #and also actually a lot of trans women seem to associate this change with positive things #but i'm talking about the way people talk about testosterone #a lot of people talk about the effects like it totally changed their personality tbh even if they don't realise it #it's scary like are our personalities our hormones???? #someone on this ftm group i'm on said they were having difficulty forming romantic connections with people after a couple of years on T #and people were like 'well you're just aromantic it's fine! oh you weren't before HRT? well this is what your true #authentic self is then don't worry about it!' #like to be clear it was unclear from the post whether this guy needed reassurance that being aromantic is normal #or if he was bothered by it and wanted to change it #if first then the responses are fine #but if 2nd then .....wtf are the implications of this? is our sexuality and romantic inclination ALSO our hormones??? #i don't think i'm wrong or crazy to feel weird about the idea of my personality changing and that my hormomes might be effecting it #kind of like how my personality is always shaped by depression and/or medication i'm taking for it #but it's scary like i only just got to know this brain i can't change it i'm FREAKING OUT #i feel like other trans people wouldn't want to talk to me about this because it sounds like i'm saying transphobic talking points. :( #but i really am scared of my personality changing. #if i go on t that is #can anyone talk to me about this on here?

[unproduciblesmackdown]

speaking of the horrors brian goosebumpsphantomoftheauditorium is still So funny for being like yeah i'm a ghost i know i'm a ghost. & he's befriended the horror fan menace duo who are giggling clutching each other like omg omg okay. we're fine. we're breaking into the school at night to investigate the horrors aaaa what if there's a ghost eek ok ok!!! & brian ghost who knows he's a ghost is like omg guys aaaa stopppp ;;m;; suffering thee Most but he's not putting on an act to conceal his phantomly destiny. he's just like that

#it's brian colson i believe (unless it's colsen. but i think colson) but clearly this is clearer #the book was killing me & i'm telling you brian especially. his whole thing is being So nervous about everything all the time #which maybe that's meant to be due to [you Did die; alarmingly] but it really does just seem like Mostly personality #the cadence & content of the exchange where he's bemoaning getting paint on his clothes off to the side lays me tf out #just the dynamic like brooke & zeke are Speculating abt Schemes & Ghosts & being hilarious too; here's tina joining in; also magical #while multiple times people just completely in stride And in earnest respond to brian's complete focus on his paint stains issue #goosebumps the musical #also getting Thank You For Being A Friend points like enduring the deadly trapdoors & mystery of; for all he knew ig; a whole other ghost #he has no stake in that beyond just genuinely helping out / providing what moral support he can lol #and You Know What They Say. you probably could've revealed your ghost status & destiny & Just Asked lmao #but maybe he was too nervous like think i'll have to Haint Style Steal Your Breath or sm shit b/c that's easier than a ghost reveal convo #is that a george costanza style approach? i have never seen a full seinfeld episode. no limits to the time/effort/complexity in avoiding #some comparatively more minor issue / hurdle? i understand the like archetypical achievement character of all time in that for sure.... #like yeah they Are alarmed by the apparent ghost / apparent guy who wants to kill them / you as Actual Ghost but they roll w/it too #cracking open goosebumps of all time The Ghost Next Door... #i also need to crack open (press play) goosebumps the musical phantom of the auditorium original studio cast recording again soon #brian's pleeease let this be a normal field trip to brooke & zeke's beep beep seatbelts everyone! dream team for real #completely innocuous haunting except there's a separate totally unrelated guy taking a totally counterproductive approach to things.... #scooby doo villaining it will Not bring the meddling kids!! if i act scary to said kids they'll learn anything besides that I'm scary!!! #bring emile back here like yeah we'll cover for you for real though. appeal to tina's theatre devotion like become frenemies to friends fr #goosebumps ghosts you Do just fulfill your Purpose & then Transcend but brian was just a guy hanging out prior. could do that again

[keclan]

ok officially need advice on this. my mom is a super nice woman i’ve never in my life had an argument with, but she will not stop buying me dresses online that i don’t want. we are going on a big family vacation on a fancy cruise ship in december, and for some reason either she or my stepdad has gotten it in their heads that i either can’t afford to dress myself properly or i can’t be trusted to dress myself properly. she’s sent me now like four or five boxes of clothes and each one has like five or six dresses in it, it’s getting ridiculous. she doesn’t know that i’m nb, but i did mention the last time i saw her that i’m not interested in dresses currently and i mentioned wanting to get a tux or a suit for the vacation, which was taken well at the time but completely forgotten or ignored later. additionally, now that my job has changed, i have less time to go out during the work day, and every time she sends me a box, i have to return all the stuff that i don’t want and it’s a huge hassle, like this current box i have to take it to the post office on saturday because i won’t be able to do it any other day before the date it’s due back, which means i have to try them all on now, so i can print the return slip tomorrow, so i can get them all in the box and ready saturday morning. it’s just annoying and unwanted. i don’t know how to ask her to stop, i thought the previous box she sent was the final one but i just received another this week and i’m getting really frustrated with her. but i’m worried she’ll take it personally or that it will make her sad if i say anything about it. i don’t want to upset her but i don’t want her to be wasting her money and me to be wasting my time etc

#last time i brought this up with her i said something like there’s a lot of sizing issues with ordering online and i’d love to go shopping #with her in person when she visits me (she’s planning to visit in oct some time) #and i thought that was the end of it but lo and behold another box this week #i just don’t know what to do about it this might sound crazy but i’m lowkey worried about her #she’s been texting differently than she normally does; nothing like alarming or anything but i worry that she’s lonely or stressed #and doing this is her like trying to dote on me from afar #and that i’ll hurt her feelings by telling her to stop #idk idk my mom and i used to have very similar styles #we both like fun bright colors and patterns albeit her in a mom way and me in a gay way #but we usually have fun shopping together #but aside from not being into dresses in general currently a lot of the stuff she’s picked has been total misses i don’t get it #i don’t know what’s going on with her this is weird behavior for her