#(it’s not actually a take I’ve seen here)

[wzrd-wheezes]

Coffee, Cake and a Gossip - James Potter x Reader

AN - this is entirely based off of a scenario where my boyfriend took me for coffee and cake so we could gossip.

warnings: mentions of alcohol briefly but that’s about it. james potter loving a gossip

Y/N pushed the scrambled eggs around with her fork as she spoke, her eyes trained on the fading pattern of the plate as the words tumbled out of her mouth.

“-And it’s just like, I don’t know, I don’t know how many more times I have to tell her before it gets through.” she huffed, setting her fork down with a clatter, “I’m sorry. I know you probably don’t want to hear me moaning about my friend drama again.”

James laughed, taking a slurp of coffee from his mug, “You’re not moaning, my love.” he smiled, “You’re just venting and, in the nicest way possible, I am loving the drama.”

Y/N chuckled, looking up for the first time in a good few minutes. James was sat, patient as ever, staring lovingly at her as she recounted the events from the previous night.

“Yeah, I know but it must be getting old now,” she smiled weakly, standing up. She crossed the kitchen to scrape her plate clean before setting it in the sink.

Light on his feet, James appeared behind her, his big arms wrapping around her shoulders, his chin resting on the top of her head. He pressed a kiss to her temple, one hand sliding down to rest on her waist. He pushed the fabric of her pyjama top upwards, forever a fiend for skin on skin contact.

“I have an idea.” he mumbled into her hair.

“Yeah?” Y/N hummed in response, sudsing up the sponge and beginning to wash the pots from that morning’s breakfast.

“How about we go and get ready, then we can drive to a cute little cafe somewhere and we can go for coffee, cake and a gossip.” he spun her around so that she was facing him, taking her soapy hands in his, “Then, you can tell me all about your friend drama because, to be honest, ever since you went out with them last night I’ve been dying to hear about what happened.”

“Really?” Y/N slipped her hands from his and wiped them dry on a tea towel that was tucked into a drawer, “You’re sure that you actually-”

“Baby. I cannot explain to you how much I would love to hear it. Besides, I’m a sucker for a little sweet treat.” He grinned, “Why don’t you go and get ready and I’ll finish cleaning up down here, yeah?”

James drove them to a café on the outskirts of their town. It was a quiet little place where sunlight streamed in through the windows and the walls were adorned with quirky paintings. Y/N went to find a table while James ordered. She found them a spot tucked away in the corner, two overstuffed armchairs and a small table between them.

Their coffee was served in mismatched mugs, steam rising from the surface as James set them down on the scrubbed wooden table. He disappeared for a moment and returned with two large slices of cake.

“I didn’t know which to get so I just got a slice of each and thought we could share.” he explained, hacking into a slice with his fork.

“Good thinking.” Y/N smiled, picking up the hot mug and clasping it in her hands.

“Okay. Coffee and sweet treats acquired… time to gossip.” he wiped the crumbs from his lips and turned to face her properly, giving her his full attention.

“So, obviously I haven’t seen the girls for a while, y’know, with us all working and whatnot,” Y/N began. She picked up a sugar cube from the bowl and dropped into into her coffee with a plop, “And I thought it would be nice for us all to go for a drink somewhere so I booked us in at this cute little wine bar in town.”

“Ooh, was it good? We should go there next date night.”

“It was so good! We get there and we all get our drinks and one of the girls says that Alice is running late and I’m like, ‘okay no worries’,” she stopped for a moment to take a bite of cake before continuing, “And you’ll never guess what…!”

“What?” James leaned forward in anticipation, his elbows resting on his knees.

“She turns up an hour late with Jackson.”

“She never!” James gasped, “But it was girls night!?”

“I know!” Y/N huffed. She swilled the coffee around in her mug before taking a swig.

“Wait.” James held a finger up, “Wasn’t Jackson the one that cheated on her?”

“Yes!”

“Wow.” James let out a bemused laugh, “No wonder you’re annoyed.”

“It’s just so frustrating.” Y/N sighed through a mouthful of spongecake, “No matter how many times we tell her he’s a piece of shit she won’t listen.”

“Well, not everyone can have boyfriends as lovely as yours.” James teased, slipping the last bite of cake onto her plate.

“Very true.”

“So, what did you say to her when Jackson turned up?”. he pressed, his eyes twinkling.

#james potter #james potter x reader #james potter fluff #james potter fan fic #marauders

[cosmicpearlz]

sweet confessions

summary: in which jude feels the urge to confess his feelings for you before it’s too late.

pairing: jude bellingham x actress!reader

a/n: i haven’t written something in lord knows how long butttt i can’t stop thinking about being friends to lovers with jude. honestly, i can’t stop thinking about jude like what a man lol. anyways enjoy loves <3

it all started when you got a call from your agent about getting the role for a movie in madrid. you were over the moon about it. the movie was a classic love story about a woman falling in love with someone who also happened to be on vacation in spain and the hardships they face being that they are from two different countries. of course, it was very cheesy but it meant you got to work luca guadagnino. he had been one of your favorite directors and you’ve been itching to work with him. another big plus was that archie madekwe played your love interest. literally one of your best friends after working with him during a different project.

luca wanted all of the cast and crew to loosen up after the first two tables reads, so he took everyone to a real madrid match.

“archie, i’m not gonna lie to you but have you seen the players? specifically, number five,” you dramatically fanned yourself while taking your seat next to the boy.

“ew, keep it in your pants y/n. you’ve been talking about him since we’ve been in madrid and it’s only been three days. ‘oh archie he’s so cute’ ‘you think i’ll be able to talk to him?’,” he mocks you with a slight laugh. you playfully slapped his shoulder.

“i do not talk like that.”

“yes you do.”

“no i don’t.”

“shut up the match is starting,” you stick your tongue out at him because he refused to give you the last word.

your eyes were glued to the players that walked out. quickly spotting the golden boy that you developed a crush on in the matter of three days. jude bellingham stood with a smile adorned on his face. maybe it was the fact that you guys were the same age and you were a little delusional that something could spark between the two of you. even if it only meant being friends.

-

“whew, that was a really good game.”

“you’re only saying that because jude made the winning goal,” you pushed archie’s shoulder and pouted.

“you’re such a bully. that is not the reason and-“

“is he coming over here?”

your head snapped to where archie’s gaze was and yes. jude was making his way across the pitch to where you guys were seated. he gave you a warm smile before standing right in front of you.

“hi.”

“uh, hi?”

“i’m jude,” he held his hand out for you to shake with a cheeky smile. you smiled back and shook his hand. your hand fitting perfectly into his.

“i know who you are silly but i’m y/n.”

“i know who you are silly,” he repeats what you said with a teasing tone.

“i’ve never seen you before. well of course in movies but not here. are you here for work?”

it baffles you on how easy it was for him to make conversation. your eyes widened and looked to archie for help but to your disappointment he was gone. that british bastard.

“yeah! our director wanted us to enjoy a day out together before we start filming. plus, this is my first time in madrid actually,” jude smiles while maintaining eye contact with you.

“you need a tour guide? i got some of my favorite places i can show you.”

little did you know, it would be the start to a great friendship with the footballer.

-

“cut! we are done for the day. same time tomorrow, thank you everyone.”

you and archie shared a high five finishing a complex scene. it was the particular scene where your characters are arguing about the vacation almost ending. resulting to a passionate love confession with a hungry kiss.

“your boyfriend is here,” archie whispered into your ear making you push him away from you.

“shut up, he’s not my boyfriend.”

“yet.”

you choose to ignore your ignorant best friend. giving him a quick hug goodbye and rushing towards jude, who already has his arms open for you. you crash into him and he responds immediately by wrapping his arms around you.

it’s been five months since he offered to be your tour guide but he ended up being so much more. he became a staple piece in your life with such a short amount of time.

“hello darling.”

“hi jude. boy am i glad to see you, i’m so hungry. let’s get food,” you feel his chest vibrating from the laughter he gave out.

“oh wow, i come from training to see you and all you can think about is food? what am i? copped liver?”

“well duh, what else are you here for?” you pulled away slightly to look up at him, trying to give him your best straight face. it failed when he started tickling your side successfully causing you to laugh and slap his hands away.

“let’s feed the princess, shall we?”

jude never failed to send butterflies fluttering in your stomach. you wouldn’t dare ruin your friendship with him just because you gained a crush on him. it’s his fault though. all of the nicknames and gestures he does makes your head spin.

“we shall, but i have to stop by my trailer to put up my stuff,” you giggled and lead him to the trailers. jude immediately throws his self onto your bed laying down.

“man if this is what being an actor is like, i might have to try it.”

“you in acting? oh please, you have a better chance being in the production crew,” he gasped loudly while placing his hand on his chest.

“you are cruel. i can totally being an actor if i wanted to,” causing you to playfully scoff.

“yeah right and i can be a footballer.”

“now you’re taking the piss.”

you join him on the bed, choosing to lay on top of him being that his taller frame takes up the whole bed. it wasn’t unnatural for you two to end up in positions like this. it felt natural and certainly was comfortable. jude wraps an arm around your waist and you wrap yours around his neck.

the boy hoped you couldn’t feel the way his heartbeat sped up. unbeknownst to you, he fully reciprocated your feelings. sometimes it scared him how fast he fell for you. the whole reason he walked up to you in the first place is because he wanted an excuse to talk to the pretty girl that watched the football match.

“comfortable are we?”

“yes, you’re like a warm teddy bear.”

“i thought you were hungry.”

“it can wait.”

“y/n.”

“jude.”

jude felt you snuggle into him more and suddenly he felt the need to tell you his feelings. your warm body pressed against his and it still couldn’t stop the intense warmth that fluttered in his stomach, crawling all the way up to his chest. he grabs your waist firmly and sits the both of you up.

“hey, i was comfortable laying there,” you gave him a pout. all he think of was kissing the pout off your face. jude gazes at you with a small smile suddenly becoming shy.

“can i tell you something?”

“anything.”

“promise it won’t ruin our friendship? i dunno if i can deal with losing you completely.”

“stop being silly, you’ll never lose me jude,” you grabbed his hand and squeezed it, encouraging him to talk to you.

“i like you.”

“what?”

“i like you so much that it hurts to not call you my girlfriend. you’re like the sunshine that radiates through the widow early in the morning. you make me unbelievably happy with your presence. i know you’re going to leave soon but we could do long distance. i’d do it for you in a heartbeat if it-“

“jude relax,” you lay your hand on his face, softly rubbing his cheek.

“i like you too. so so much,” the once nervous boy quickly gained a growing smile.

“really?”

“oh god yes,” jude properly sits you into his lap, pressing your bodies closer together. you guys were practically nose to nose at this point. not that either of you minded .

“can i kiss you?” his whisper fell upon your lips.

“i’d be really mad if you didn’t.”

in a split second, his lips were on yours. a long awaited kiss. one of his hands held the back of your neck to try and push you closer if possible. passion flowing between the two of you as your tongues battle over dominance. you couldn’t stop your smile as you kissed him.

jude playfully nips at your bottom lip before placing two pecks to your lips and then pulling away. he didn’t go far as he rested his forehead on yours.

“fuck, i might be in love with you baby.”

before you could even reply, your stomach growled leading you to burst out into laughter. jude follows suit in laughter right behind you. he kisses the side of your head and stands up, holding a hand out for you. you smiled while sliding your hand into his. he intertwined your fingers with his and pulls you out from your spot.

“for the record, i might be in love with you as well,” you whispered with your spare hand raised to your lips as if you were telling him a secret only he can hear. jude kisses your forehead with a knowing smirk.

“who wouldn’t be in love with me.”

“see now you’re the one taking the piss.”

#jude bellingham x reader #jude bellingham #jude bellingham fluff #jude bellingham one shot #jude bellingham imagine

[oddinary4bts]

Chasing Cars | ch 4.5 (jjk)

☆summary: when your brother goes to study on a semester abroad, your life collides with his best friend Jeon Jungkook, who's coincidentally your roommate. Will you survive the collision, or will you crumble into dust?

☆pairings: brother's best friend!Jungkook x younger sister!female reader

☆rating: 18+ (minors DNI, some chapters contain mature content)

☆genre: forbidden love?au, college!au, slice of life!au, smut, angst (as usual a lot of it), fluff

☆warnings: explicit content: mentions of jerking off and of fingering/cum play

☆word count: 852

☆a/n: please enjoyyyy this one made me v soft

☆join the discord server here!

☆series masterpost

☆☆☆☆☆

If I lay here If I just lay here Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

Chasing Cars, Snow Patrol

☆☆☆☆☆

Campus is encased in ice, frozen on the spot in a magical way. Jungkook has been admiring it as you walk together, and he wonders where the magic of the moment truly lies. Is it in the ice coating everything, or in your presence next to him?

He pushes the thought away, trying to focus on what you’re saying.

“And then I was sick the whole night,” you say, retelling him a story of the first - and last - time you drank vodka.

He laughs. “You’re not supposed to drink a whole bottle to yourself, you know that?”

You glare at him, your eyes narrowed. “No way,” you let out. “I would have never guessed that.”

He grins at your sass, teasingly nudging you with his elbow. You shriek, almost slipping on a patch of ice, but he’s quick to grab your arm, steadying you. You look up, startled, your eyes going wide as you meet Jungkook’s gaze.

His heart picks up in his chest as blush creeps on your cheeks, and he’s struck thinking you truly are the most beautiful girl he’s ever seen. He can hardly believe last night happened - you’re too pure to have partaken in the action that unfolded in your bedroom, like maybe he stained you. And he wouldn’t be surprised if he did. His heart clenches in his chest at the thought, and he lets go of you.

“You okay?” he asks, gulping.

You nod, taking a deep breath as you look away from him. “Yeah. You?”

Jungkook chuckles. “How could I not be, when I’ve got you by my side?”

He immediately cringes at the words, at the truth they hold, and his thoughts slide to Taehyung. What would Taehyung say if he heard what Jungkook said? If he knew the kind of things Jungkook thinks about you?

You roll your eyes, looking up to the sky as if searching for salvation. “You’re annoying, you know that, right?”

“You love it, peach,” Jungkook teases, trying to ignore the way his heart warms in his chest.

It’s been doing that on and off since yesterday, since he kissed you like you were the last two people on Earth. He hates it, hates the roller coasters that it’s been taking him on. It makes him feel vulnerable, and it’s not a feeling he enjoys at all.

Not when it brings back a share of insecurity he thought he’d gotten rid of when he started college.

You make a noncommittal sound, and then lead Jungkook towards the library building, though you both have no intention to go in. Jungkook follows you, listening to you as you start talking about a class you hate - biochemistry? - and he laughs when you tell him how the professor barely speaks English to begin with.

“I have a professor like that in econ too,” he admits. “I’m sure she is incredibly intelligent, but it’s so hard to actually understand what she’s saying that I feel like we’re never talking about the same thing.”

“Right!” you exclaim. “It’s annoying. Like we’re a good college, they could at least make sure the professors speak decent English.”

Jungkook agrees, but he doesn’t say anything. Indeed, his attention is elsewhere. He notices your friend in the distance, the shy one, and his lungs freeze for a second before he grabs your arm, pulling you in the other direction.

“What are you doing?” you let out, sounding slightly offended.

“I’m hungry,” Jungkook states, offering you a lopsided grin that he hopes serves as a good enough distraction. “Want to go home and grab something to eat?”

You frown for a few seconds, looking up at the sky. The clouds have been slowly dispersing, and blue peeks from behind them, revealing that the sun has started its descent towards the horizon.

“You’re always hungry,” you reply, letting out an annoyed huff.

“And what about it?”

You laugh at his words, and Jungkook grins, his heart skipping a beat in his chest yet again.

Taehyung, he reminds himself. 

He desperately needs to get a grip of himself before things get out of hand. Though, he reckons they’ve gotten out of hand already. They’ve gotten out of hand when he jerked off under your watchful gaze yesterday night, fingering you with his cum after. They got out of hand even before that, when he decided to kiss you and pull you on his lap until all the thoughts he’d been trying to ignore since the beginning of the semester last year came forth, screaming in his head until he couldn’t ignore their existence anymore.

He sighs, burying his hands in the pockets of his pants as you walk, if only so that he doesn’t reach to grab your hand. He’s like a kid next to you, like a dumb teenager who’s never seen a girl before. 

He hates it, almost as much as he loves the excitement that it brings. It’s all too confusing, but he figures that, as long as the power outage is still going strong, he can pretend that it doesn’t matter.

Reality is bound to hit again soon anyway.

Read chapter four here!

☆☆☆☆☆

hope you guys enjoyeddd!! jungkook is such a mess lmao :') let me know what you think!

All rights reserved to @/oddinary4bts, 2024. Do not copy, repost or translate.

#chasing cars ch 4.5 #jungkook smut #jungkook angst #jungkook fluff #jungkook x you #jungkook x reader #jungkook fic #jungkook #jjk smut #jjk fluff #jjk angst #jjk x you #jjk x reader #jjk fic #jjk #jeon jungkook #btswritersclub #chasing cars #chasing cars series

[marigold-hills]

june 4: wildfire | @wolfstarmicrofic | word count: 626

PREVIOUS PART • NEXT PART • FIRST PART

Remus says: “take me to bed.”

Remus say take me to bed and Sirius remembers a trip to France when he was a child, the summer air during a drought, sharp and heavy and dense enough to blanket him, and then, a week later, watching a wildfire ravage through the forest. This is the spark, Sirius thinks.

He was safe within the Manor’s wards, but the fire was a savage, hungry thing and it ate the horizon. Sirius was a wild child then, and he is wild still, and the desire to go outside and feel the burn on his skin hasn’t changed.

“I’ve finished my dissertation,” he admits, not ready for this golden moment between them to end and coming clean about the little omission is easier than facing new thoughts.

(Remus says that’s amazing, Sirius. He says good job, congratulations.)

“And I… um… tattoo.”

“You got a tattoo?” Remus reads into the jumbled words, frowns, “why didn’t you say? You’ve been going on about it all year.”

Sirius is wearing an oversized Queen T-shirt he likes to sleep in. The hem is loose. Makes it easy to lift up above his torso. Down the middle of his breastbone, exposing more than skin: the sign of the alchemical Great Wolf and below it seven intricate moons, waxing and waning.

“You… you didn’t say that’s what you were getting.”

Remus doesn’t blink, not once. Takes in the ink like reading a book – top to bottom, careful eyes. Reaches out to touch each symbol in turn, one by one, his fingers holding the same reverence Sirius has seen in him when handling ancient texts. They’re keeping his place, marking where he is on the page. For one mad moment Sirius wants the mark to be permanent.

“Why, Sirius?” Remus asks as if Sirius knew the answer. He doesn’t say Pads or Padfoot or “you great big mangy dog” as he does usually, he says Sirius and that’s how they both know it’s important.

And Sirius wants to answer – wants to give the right answer - but he can’t because he doesn’t know. Only knows this: he was there, with the money ready, and the man with the tattoo gun asked what will it be? and out of the window, out of the corner of his eye, Sirius saw the moon and said: this. This is what I want to touch me for the rest of my life, this is what I want to carve into my skin.

And while the ink was being needled into him, it quietened the need he has to bite and keep, to hurt.

And now, Remus’ careful fingers meld it together and satisfy the part of him which wants to be soft and gentle, sweet.

“Sirius?” Remus prods when he doesn’t answer. Splays his hand so that it lays flat across the tattoo, and has Moony always had hands this large? Has the rough edge of his fingers, from years of using a quill, always felt like that?

It must have because this is Moony – their Moony, his Moony - but it couldn’t because Sirius never once has been rendered quiet by a simple touch before. There have been so many over the years, in the Shack, after Quidditch, in the Lake, at nights filled with nightmares. Always the same hands, and yet.

Sirius let’s go of the hem of his shirt and grabs onto the hand on his chest, presses it closer into his skin like he could push it through to touch his heart (it’s beating now, so fast, so, so hard). He wants more and he wants to understand, and he’ll give into both the urges. For as long as Remus will let him.

Remus, eyes wide, lets him.

NOTES:

This is part 4! There will be 30. I suggest reading in order for the full experience but they also should work as standalone.

Don’t do this in the library. If you must, I suppose 2am is a good time.

I’ve changed Sirius’ tattoo from how it was in the movies. Originally the symbol he has on the very top is for amalgamation and here I went with antimony because it signifies the great wolf and I like the idea of that. The symbols are actually very similar looking. If you remember part one, this one goes back to the dissertation he’s writing.

not sure if I should add smut to this. Thoughts?

@moon-girl88 @digital-kam @tealeavesandtrash @sweetstarryskies

(let me know if you do/don’t want to be tagged in next parts)

#remus lupin #sirius black #wolfstar #marauders #dead gay wizards #fanfic #microfiction #remus x sirius #marauders era

[johnnysuhbmarine]

What's my Problem? That's Easy, You.

Pairing: Haechan x reader Description: There’s no one on this planet that you hate more than your roommate’s best friend, Haechan, and he hates you back just the same. Though, sharing a best friend meant you had to see him all the time. When giving into one impulse desire ends with the two of you making out, it quickly develops into a friends (or enemies) with benefits relationship that the two of you agree to keep quiet about. Surely nothing could go wrong, right?  Content warnings: swearing, insults, talk about sex, Haechan in skinny jeans, Haechan’s girlfriend (later ex) is really mean to him, lots of eye rolling and head shaking, sexual harassment from reader’s professor, death (not a main character but it affects Haechan), lots of making out…taking off shirts…etc, Haechan is hot and arrogant but kind of a loser when it comes to y/n (eventually), mention of a choking kink, corpse lyrics, they have sex but it’s closed-door/SFW, Haechan makes one really poor decision, angst with a happy ending. Please let me know if I’ve missed anything. Word count: 21,108 :) A/n: Happy Haechan day! This has been in the works for entirely too long, but I’m excited to finally release a longer fic rather than one shots. This was only written because I had to do something after seeing Haechan in the ISTJ dance practice video cause he’s never left my mind since. Shout out to @fullsunstrawberry for listening to me talk about this fic instead of me actually writing it. Hey bestie, *waves* it’s finally finished :) Please enjoy, or don’t…I can’t tell you what to do. As always, feedback would be GREATLY appreciated :)

You open the door to your apartment-style dorm room, and when you see a figure on the couch, you assume it’s your best friend and roommate, Jessica. The two of you met in a class last year and you were over the moon at the idea of rooming with her for the rest of university rather than the roommates you currently had at the time. However, instead of laying eyes on your best friend, it’s a guy you’ve never seen before, casually sprawled out on your couch. You jump in surprise and furrow your eyebrows as you address his presence. “Wha- who are you?!”

He moves his gaze from the TV up to where you were, still at the door. “Haechan…Jessica’s best friend? I’m sure she’s talked about me. Who are you?” He replies in a condescending tone, looking completely unenthused to be talking with you and, within seconds, you were beginning to feel much the same. You shake your head, annoyed.

“No, I’m the one who lives here so I’m asking the questions. What are you doing here? How did you get in?” You ask, though now just wondering how long it would be until he left. 

He looks at you as though you were stupid, like talking to you was a waste of his time. Regardless, he gives you somewhat of an answer. “Are you dense? I’m hanging out with Jessica today. She let me in before she went back to go get ready.”

You freeze, anger coursing through your veins at the audacity of this guy. “I’m not dense. God, I hate people like you.” You spit back. Haechan raises his brows tauntingly. 

“‘People like me’ as in?”

“Arrogant dickheads whose brain power is just used to keep track of how many beds they’ve been in.” You finish, rolling your eyes before moving to set down your backpack and grab what you actually came back to your dorm for - your purse. You miss the devilish smirk that Haechan bears on his face, but you don’t miss the cocky laugh that escapes his figure before he speaks up again as you cross the room.

“Strange, I don’t remember bringing up my sex life before this. It must be on your mind then, huh?” He replies seriously, getting you to pause again. You ball your hands into fists, taking a few steps so that you were back in each other’s line of sight before arguing with him some more. 

“This is exactly what I’m talking about. You think everyone is thinking about sex with you. I hate to break it to you, but you’re not that attractive.” You say, more than glad when your last statement came out firm and serious…you typically weren’t good at lying.

Haechan lets out another laugh, stretching his arms up and bringing his hands together at the back of his head. “Yeah?” He questions lazily. “You’re not that hot yourself, sunshine.”

The nickname has your blood boiling. “Never call me that again. Besides, it doesn’t even make sense. You say I’m not hot and then call me sunshine. You know the sun is 15 million degrees Celsius, right?” You remark, but instead of making Haechan feel stupid, you seemingly gave him more ammunition.

“Oh,” he says as though he just figured out the answer to life. “So, you’re a nerd. I get it.” He adds, a stupid grin on his face.

You furrow your brows. “What?”

“You don’t get out much do you? Just spend all your time memorizing pointless facts and praying someone along the way finally has to find that attractive since you know you won’t pull a guy with your looks?”

You freeze, in a deadlocked stare with Haechan, both of your gazes filled with resentment. It wasn’t a pointless fact - you were an astronomy and physics double major, but saying that wouldn’t provide him with anything but more reason to call you a nerd, and the last thing you felt like doing was addressing the part about your looks. Instead, you shake your head, then motion to the purse you were now carrying rather than your backpack. “I’m going out right now, thank you very much. God. Tell Jessica to let me know whenever you’re going to be over. I’ll make sure to never be home for it. I don’t know how she can tolerate someone like you.” You spit out, turning to open the front door again.

“Right back at you.” Haechan replies, not letting up on his glare until the door’s completely closed again, then turning lazily back to the TV just as Jessica walks out from the bathroom.

“Were you on the phone? Who were you just talking to like that?” She questions, eyebrows raised, more than curious at the identity of who riled up Haechan like that.

Haechan shakes his head. “No, I wasn’t on the phone. Your roommate came in…and then left again.” 

Jessica’s face drops from curiosity to disbelief. “You were arguing with y/n like that?!”

Haechan shrugs. “If that’s the name of your irritating roommate, then yeah.” Jessica rolls her eyes, doing the mental calculations of how long this semester was going to feel with her two best friends hating each other.

When you get back from bar and trivia night with your friends a few hours later, your living room couch is back to just being occupied by Jessica. You smile at her as you walk in and lock the door behind you, but her face when you turn back around is more grave than you think you’ve ever seen.

“We’re gonna have to talk about you and Hyuck.” She says seriously, causing your eyebrows to furrow.

“Who the hell is Hyuck?” You laugh, and Jess just rolls her eyes playfully, nodding her head to motion for you to sit down next to her on the couch.

She looks you in the eyes intently. “Haechan.” She says, and your playful demeanor drops in an instant. “His real name is Donghyuck- but that’s besides the point. Look, he’s been my best friend for more than half of my life. He’s had an extra key to wherever I’m living every year of college so far…”

“No.” You answer firmly, and Jessica sighs.

“Y/n, he’s not a bad guy-” She starts, but you shake your head.

“I don’t care if he’s bad, I care that he’s the most aggravating person I’ve ever met. I don’t want him to have a key to this place.”

Jessica raises her eyebrows. “Not even if it doubles as a safety mechanism having someone other than the two of us be able to get in here should we need help?”

Technically, that could come in handy, but you don’t care. “No.” You reply, trying your best to be dismissive of the topic, but it’s apparently really important to Jessica.

“Y/n…” She says softly, and you roll your eyes with a huff of breath.

“Fine, but he’s not allowed to just come over whenever he’s bored. You two need to have set plans for him to use his extra key.” 

“Deal!” She says as she lights up, and you try to imagine yourself in her position - you’d probably want to keep the tradition of giving your best friend an extra key, too…though your other best friend wouldn’t be as annoying as Haechan. Regardless, you liked seeing Jessica happy, and if this was what it took, then so be it.

A week later, you and Jessica found yourselves sitting on the couch watching Bones, a typical after-homework routine. It became disgustingly less typical when your attention was turned to the sound of a key unlocking the door to your dorm. You hide your groan but nothing stops your eye roll as soon as you see Haechan. His gaze passes right over you as he greets Jessica, apparently his goal today was just to pretend you didn’t exist. You couldn’t be too peeved - the last thing you wanted to do was talk to him. However, you could be mad because you don’t remember Jessica saying anything about having plans with him today, and you watch as your one guideline for him having an extra key slips down the drain. 

Jessica doesn’t think anything of it, of course she wouldn’t, he’s one of her best friends. “Hey Hyuck, we’re watching Bones if you want to join.” She says neutrally. Somewhere along the line, Haechan must have figured out you weren’t just a demon in one of his nightmares, because you had the pleasure of being the subject of his reply.

“Not if she’s still going to be here, too.” He says sternly, causing you to scoff.

“I was here first, you dick.”

At your side, Jessica sighs, seeming to know exactly where this was going as Haechan’s eyes light with fire. “Okay idiot, and I was her friend first.” He spits back, making you clench your jaw…and a fist. A multitude of insults could be thrown your way and you would’ve brushed it off, but ‘idiot?’ That gets under your skin every time. Though, because you were Jessica’s best friend, she knew that, and immediately jumped to calm you down. 

“Okay…” She says, gently grabbing you by the shoulders and settling you back down into the couch. “Y/n, you are not an idiot, I promise. And Hyuck…” she continues, moving her flat gaze over to him. “You’re not a dick - though you make it very hard to defend you sometimes.” As Jessica finished, her gaze flicked back and forth between you and Haechan. The two of you shot your gaze off towards completely different walls of the dorm, refusing to look at the other even in the slightest. Jessica waited five seconds for either of you to say anything, but when that didn’t happen, she spoke up again.

“You guys are insufferable.” She begins with a sigh. “You know it’s my birthday this weekend. I was looking forward to being able to spend it with my best friends…all of them.” Her words are soft and you know she’s serious. Your shoulders drop.

“Where are you going with this?” You ask, immediately shutting your eyes in preparation for the answer you knew you wouldn’t want to face.

“Is it even in the realm of possibility for the two of you to get along for just one night? One dinner?” Jessica asks hopefully. You and Haechan finally whip your heads around to face Jessica, a matching look of terror on both of your faces.

“No.”

“Absolutely not.” You respond at the same time.

Jessica rolls her eyes, and you hate it because it meant your responses actually put her in a sour mood…and all you ever wanted as her best friend was for her to be happy. The horrible news is that she knew this, and used it to her advantage against the both of you. “If I put you on opposite sides of the table, could you at least be civil? For me.” She adds, the cherry on top of her already disheartened tone.

You and Haechan take one small glance at each other, enough to reach the same conclusion before you both respond. “Fine.” A smirk reaches Jessica’s face and you shake your head, getting up from the couch to instead find solace in your bedroom, letting Haechan take your spot without another word.

In what you thought was too little time, it was already the evening of Jessica’s birthday dinner. The dress code was fancier than you were used to, but all you had time for was one sigh at yourself in the mirror before Jessica was rushing you out the door. The two of you getting in the car must have been the trigger for her to start going over the game plan again, because the first thing she said as she pulled out of the parking lot of your dorm was, “there’s going to be thirteen of us there tonight. You and Haechan won’t be anywhere near each other, but even so, please just try and not hate him an overwhelming amount tonight.” 

You drop your head to face your lap with a laugh. “Don’t worry. You know me, you know the last thing on my mind is ruining your birthday. I’ll be good.” 

Her light laugh and nod in response let you know she believed you, and as she pulled to a stop light she looked your way for a moment. “You look gorgeous, by the way.” 

You roll your eyes but it doesn’t stop the smile from spreading across your face. “Look who’s talking.” You say seriously. Your best friend was always gorgeous, but times like these it was hard to do anything but stare. Jessica shakes her head.

“Well, you know. ‘Dress to impress’ and all that.” She replies, and you whip your head towards her, your words coming out as though you were frightened.

“Who are you trying to impress? Please don’t tell me it’s Haechan. Oh my God. No. I can stand the two of you being friends but you cannot date him or I might die.” 

At this, Jessica rolls her eyes, taking time to laugh rather than save you from your worst nightmare. “Y/n, how many times have I talked to you about guys in a romantic sense? Has any of it ever been about Haechan? No.” She answers for you. “It’s always been about…” This time she drags off and leaves you to fill in the blanks yourself. You finally get over the horror that could have faced you and your mind clears, causing you to light up.

“Mark! Wait, Mark is coming?!” You ask excitedly, making her laugh some more.

“Yes, Mark is coming. We are really good friends, after all. I’m just thinking if he sees me all dressed up, he’ll finally realize he has to ask me on a date sooner than later or someone else will. I’m getting tired of waiting for his dorky ass.” She replies, and you raise your eyebrows - you know she would wait forever for Mark, not that she necessarily should, but she would.

The two of you arrive at the restaurant to find out you were the first ones there for the party and start on checking in for the reservation. Then, as you both turn around from the host stand, you’re greeted with Mark and Haechan walking in together. You’re sure Mark looked great, but you would be lying if you said you even took one look at him. Instead, all of your attention was on Haechan, his white button-up tightly hugging his body, the look complete with rolled-up sleeves. You did your best not to stare, but it wouldn’t have mattered anyways, he wasn’t paying any attention to you. Instead, he was now entirely engrossed in conversation with Mark and Jessica. You don’t even know if he knew you were here, and in that moment you realized tonight was going to prove a lot harder than you originally thought, because you hated Haechan an overwhelming amount. 

Thankfully, the rest of the party arrived soon after and you were all quickly seated, Jessica in the middle with you and Haechan at complete opposite ends as promised. Instead, you got to sit and talk with Winter and Jisung. Overall, you really couldn’t complain. Winter was one of the first friends you made on campus. On the other hand, you and Jisung had been partnered for a project one semester that saw the two of you sharing way too many 2:00 am coffees as you tried to squeeze the semester project into the span of two weeks - your friendship with Jisung feels more so like the result of trauma bonding, but you wouldn’t have traded it for the world. 

That being said, dinner went pretty smoothly. After eating your main course, you excused yourself to use the bathroom, but you didn’t even make it ten steps before you realized you were being trailed. As you step into the hallway where the doors to the restrooms were, you turn around to face Haechan. “Really? You couldn’t wait until I was back at the table?” You ask plainly. Haechan furrows his brows.

“I didn’t plan this. I didn’t even realize you had gotten up from the table. I wasn’t paying any attention to you.” He remarks, and you roll your eyes.

“Right, all you ever do is pretend I don’t exist. How could I forget?” You say sarcastically.

Haechan scoffs, shaking his head. “Well, all you do is hate me for existing, so I feel like it’s a pretty even balance. Besides, every time I acknowledge your existence, it ends up like this.” 

You pause for a moment, glaring at Haechan. Was it truly easier to pretend you didn’t exist rather than deal with the fact that you do. “I hate you.” You finally say. Haechan feigns surprise, moving a hand over his heart as if he’s just been shot. Though, his face neutralizes in an instant.

“I hate you, too. Can we get on with why we’re actually here now?” He asks, nodding his head towards the men’s room as he looks towards you with disinterest. You clench your jaw, not bothering to give him a verbal response as you walk into the ladies room, where you finally let yourself breathe again. 

The rest of the dinner party went by quickly, and suddenly it was just you and Jessica back in her car. “Well, that went really well!” She said, beaming. You could hardly match the enthusiasm, though.

“Yeah…”

She chanced a look over at you, eyebrows furrowed. “Did it not go really well?”

“It was fine.” You reply softly, shaking your head. You didn’t want to ruin the night now after appearing to have successfully made it through dinner.

“You two weren’t even around each other.” She says, her underlying tone letting you know how confused she was.

“We ran into each other by the bathrooms.” You say, shrugging in your seat.

Jessica grimaces. “Didn’t go well, I’m guessing.”

You let out a heavy, defeated sigh. “I don’t understand what his problem is.”

“He doesn’t have a problem.” Jessica replies with a light laugh, and you shoot your gaze over to her in question.

“Really? So, he’s just always a dick?” You ask, trying your best to keep your tone light while also letting her know that, if that’s normal Haechan, you were harshly judging her choice of friends.

Jessica smiles, a small laugh coming out that’s more so just an exhale. “No…but maybe the issue is just the fact that you hate him. Maybe if you were a little nicer to him, he would calm down, too.” She says, doing her best to be convincing, but you just shake your head.

“I don’t want to be nice to him. Not ever.” You say firmly, and surprising you, Jessica just shrugs lightly.

“Well, I tried.”

You frown, looking over at her in the driver’s seat. “Sorry…it was a really fun birthday party, though.” You say, hoping she knew that Haechan didn’t ruin your day and praying that in turn, you didn’t ruin hers.

There seemed to be no reason to worry, though, because at the mention of the actual dinner party, Jessica lit back up. “Oh, you don’t need to tell me. I had a blast, and you and Haechan took care of all your fighting off-screen. Doesn’t bother me any.” She replies with a laugh, getting you to lighten up, too. Creating cause for excitement in itself, conversation for the rest of the drive back had nothing to do with Haechan. Instead, you learned that Mark did, in fact, figure out that his window of opportunity was closing and now he and Jessica have an official date tomorrow. In other words, the two of you squealed the rest of the way home.

It was close to a week later when you next saw Haechan again. It took Mark and Jessica one date to realize that they wanted to make things official, so you ended up seeing Mark around much more often than Haechan for a little bit. Though on Friday, the familiar turn of the key in the door was heard while you and Jessica were watching Bones in the living room, and you knew your mortal enemy was making his comeback after six days. 

Jessica paused the TV and you immediately got up from the couch, bringing your empty bowl of ramen to the kitchen so you could start on cleaning it. Then, Haechan finally made his way through the front door. You don’t bother looking up to greet his presence, he never did for you anyways. However, in an instant, Jessica was off the couch and grabbed Haechan by the wrist, stopping him from sitting down. 

“You look like you’ve been crying.” She says as Haechan turns to look at her.

He shakes his head solemnly. “No, I’m fine. They just wanted me to try a new brand of contacts since my other ones got discontinued, but these irritate my eyes. I just haven’t had the chance to go back and switch brands again, and I’m not really in the mood to pay for more contacts and waste all the money I just spent on these.”

“Take them out.” She replies instantly, and Haechan lets out something of a forced laugh.

“Well that’s the thing, these are weekly contacts, and I don’t have a case or solution with me to store them…and I don’t want to buy all that just for me to possibly switch back to daily contacts again soon.”

Jessica lets his wrist drop, seemingly understanding. From the kitchen, you shake your head, not remembering when you became so invested in the first place. In an instant, you finish with your bowl and head to your room without a word. 

You lasted in your bedroom doing homework for about an hour, which, everything considered, you thought was pretty good, but then you couldn’t stand the constant noise anymore from the other side of your bedroom wall. You threw all of your things into your backpack, getting up and storming out of the room.

“Agh! I hate his guts! I’m going to the library.” You proclaim loudly as you step back out towards the living room. 

On the couch, Haechan looks over at Jessica. “She talks about me a lot, doesn’t she? I didn’t even do anything this time.” He says with a laugh, but you just glare at him.

“Grow up, not everything is about you.” You spit out before heading towards the door.

Jessica waits for you to be completely gone before she ever answers Haechan. “Ha, she’s actually talking about our neighbor on the right. Their bedrooms share a wall and he has an unrivaled sex drive. I think she was traumatized the first time she heard…it. Though now, it’s just extra noise and it irritates the hell out of her when she’s trying to study.” Haechan’s jaw drops in surprise, the corners of his mouth wavering as he tries not to laugh. Jessica shakes her head, a smile coming onto her face. “It’s a little bit funny.” She says, getting Haechan to finally break into a smile too before continuing their conversation from before you left. Though, with it being a Friday, it wasn’t too much longer before they themselves were out of the house, though their destination was the bar instead of the library.

The next few nights came and went, until suddenly it was Tuesday again, when Haechan and Jess typically grabbed dinner together. You were doing homework at the coffee table, figuring a change in scenery would help you focus - that and the fact that your neighbor on the right was having another fun night. Jessica was still getting ready in her room when Haechan walked in through the front door. From the couch, you move your gaze towards him, figuring out he’s been holding out on you when it comes to his clothes. Today, he showed up in a black t-shirt, totally normal and fine, though said shirt was tucked into blue skinny jeans, not totally normal nor fine. 

“You’re staring.” Haechan says, bringing you back to real life. You shake your head, finally meeting his disinterested eyes.

“You don’t need to wear skinny jeans ever again.” You say flatly, and Haechan just scoffs before letting a smirk cross his face.

“My girlfriend wouldn’t take kindly to you telling me what to do.” He replies, and the news of a girlfriend only shocks you for a second before you snap back.

“Girlfriend? Wow, maybe you’ll get less annoying now that you’ve found someone willing to suck your dick.” You say, your face lighting up, although your tone conveyed how little hope you actually had in that happening.

Haechan narrows his eyes at you, his smirk turning evil. “Oh, I have a long, distinguished list of willing volunteers. Have you found anyone willing to suck yours yet?”

“Very funny.” You reply monotonously. Haechan just rolls his eyes, about hitting his limit of words spoken to you for the day.

“Where’s Jess?” He asks, his typical disinterest when it comes to you now back in his tone. You shake your head before nodding it in the direction of her room, not wanting to bother with actually talking to him anymore, either.

The next week, a casual Thursday night that you and Jessica thought you had to yourselves was disrupted with a soft knock on the door, and Jessica moved from the couch to open it, promptly stepping back to let Haechan inside, and you hate the fact that his loophole to not using his front door key unless he actually had plans with Jessica was just to knock instead. He walks in normally, but Jessica grabs his forearm with raised eyebrows. “Why aren’t you wearing your glasses?” She asks, considering the conversation from a little over a week ago.

You watch from the couch as Haechan visibly gulps, dropping his head to try and cover up his saddened expression. “...she doesn’t like when I wear them.” He states, and immediately you and Jessica both know he’s talking about his girlfriend. Despite never meeting her, you hated her guts. Ever since she got with Haechan, all she’s done is be toxic. You know so, because Haechan ends up at your dorm basically every night seeking comfort from Jessica after his girlfriend spends their dates degrading him the entire time.

You immediately pop up from the couch and storm to your room, slamming the door behind you, though that was more so accidental. How Haechan’s girlfriend treated him was none of your business, and not worth you getting worked up over, but his constant need to decompress in Jessica’s presence meant you had to see him a lot more than you would have ever liked, and that’s where you started having problems. If his girlfriend was actually nice and cared about him, you probably would have never had to see him again because he’d be spending so much time with her…it was your luck that the opposite happened. 

Almost two weeks passed of seeing Haechan every single day, and you started just strictly staying in your room any time past 5:00 to try and avoid seeing him completely. Though, when the next Tuesday rolled around, you were the one to open the door in response to the firm knocks. You knew Haechan and Jess were going out to grab dinner tonight, it was a weekly thing, so you didn’t understand why he couldn’t just use his key. In an odd turn of events, the first thing Haechan says as he steps through the door frame is ‘thank you.’ You stand there in shock, and he takes it as a sign that he needed to elaborate. “Sorry, I didn’t come from my house so I don’t have my extra key to this place.” He explains, but now you’re hardly listening to his words. Instead, taking the proximity provided by neither of you leaving the doorway to study his face with a frown. 

“Are you wearing makeup?” You question with furrowed brows. Surprising you, Haechan ducked his head, and his voice was weaker than you’ve ever heard as he responded.

“She said I have too many flaws on my skin right now and it was embarrassing her.” Your eyes widen. His girlfriend. His girlfriend, the reason he’s stopped wearing glasses and apparently the reason he has foundation and concealer covering his face right now. Your jaw clenches involuntarily. This is where you draw the line.

“Fuck that.” You spit out, grabbing Haechan’s wrist and dragging him to the bathroom with you.

He glances towards your physical contact before looking back up at you with scrunched eyebrows. “Y/n, what are you doing?” He asks as you place tons of different items on the counter.

“Taking off your makeup.” You reply sternly, and his eyes go wide.

“No, you can’t. Please.” He begs, and your heart chips a little. Your hand freezes above the water tap, sighing deeply in place of turning on the sink.

“Did you want to put it on or did she make you?” You ask softly, and Haechan’s face drops once again.

“She made me...” He replies in defeat, and you immediately turn the water on, much to his dismay. “You can’t take it off! I’m seeing her again tonight for something at her sorority!” His plea falls on deaf ears as you let the water warm up and start rubbing cleanser onto his face. You finally finish with your typical skin care routine for him, taking a step away to hang the washcloth to dry and start on putting your products away.

“If you want to wear makeup, that’s fine. But don’t ever come over here in makeup she’s made you put on again, or I’ll give you a reason to need concealer.” You say offhandedly as you finish and walk out of the bathroom with Haechan in toe.

“Did you just threaten to punch me?” He asks, a scoff accompanying it.

“Of course I did. I despise you. You’re an annoying prick, but I don’t need you feeling bad about yourself for any reason other than that…especially for something like this.” 

Haechan stares at you bewildered, trying to figure out if your words just meant what he thinks they did. “Y/n-”

“Have fun getting dinner with Jessica.” You cut him off, not giving his curiosity the satisfaction of an explanation. “Don’t worry about your girlfriend after…she won’t even notice. I gotta go do homework. Jess should be ready in a minute or so.” Then you were behind your closed bedroom door, fists clenched at your sides as you let anger run through your body. It wasn’t long before you heard Jessica come out of her room and start up a conversation with Haechan, and that was when you finally let yourself relax a little. 

Haechan was the one to start intentionally avoiding you after that. You figure you probably crossed a line that enemies don’t, but you don’t regret it. You and Haechan weren’t friends anyways, so it’s not like him now avoiding you really changed anything - it just made your own efforts to avoid him even easier.

So, about a month passed of you and Haechan avoiding each other, and when that wasn’t an option, sending each other nasty glares and rude remarks. You tried not to start anything, seeing as his girlfriend was doing enough damage to his mental health in the first place, but you still couldn’t back down and let him win if he started anything. Nevertheless, it was your birthday today and you were determined to make it as great as it could be, starting with not having Haechan anywhere near your thoughts. Instead, you were more focused on the three classes you had today, almost all of your brain power going towards making up scenarios for how your conversation with your last professor would go. 

As always, Dr. Choi never let your class out early, and you’re thankful you didn’t have a class following this or you would never get the time to ask him questions after. From your seat in the middle of the lecture hall, you made your way down to where his desk was set up, completely going against traffic as the rest of the students rushed towards the exits. As your footsteps grew closer to him, he looked up from his desk, a smile flashing across his face. 

“Ah, y/n. You look…” He starts, and you freeze as you withstand his eyeing you up and down. You should’ve known better than to imagine a case where this conversation went any differently. Dr. Choi habitually let his gaze linger on you too long, even if you were in a big t-shirt and jeans, but now here you were dressed up for your birthday. “Are you here to ask for extra credit?” He continues, and you slightly cringe in disgust. You were too used to it to have a bigger reaction, and you knew that if you didn’t play it cool, he would be uncooperative anyways.

Instead, you just shake your head lightly as if nothing was out of the ordinary. “No, I was wondering if you could open up the exam again so I can see which questions I got wrong.” You reply seriously. You got a 96 on the exam in question, and you’re sure no one who gets a 96 on a quantum mechanics exam ever takes the time to care about those 4 lost points…but it almost bothered you more than if you failed. You weren’t unprepared - all that a 96 shows is that there’s something you genuinely did not know, and not being able to look at the answers after grades were posted wasn’t helping you figure out what that was.

Dr. Choi’s reply is fast, monotone…deliberate. “Depends on if you open up your legs.” 

“Dr.-” You start flatly, but he’s quick to cut you off as his eyes light with fire.

“Into roleplay, are you?” He asks with a smirk, and if you were any less used to his behavior, you would have thrown up. Instead, you roll your eyes.

“No, Dr. Choi. You have a doctorate, so I’m being respectful. Is there any use in getting you to let me see the exam again?” You ask, staring him dead in the eye. His face loses its passion as he turns stoic, though maybe you could sense his disappointment in your dismissal.

“I told you my requirements.” He says somberly, and you just nod your head.

“Great. Thank you for your time.” You reply. Your walk out of class is natural in manner, but immediately once you get outside, your shoulders fall as you drop your head into your hands. You stand like that for only a moment to regain your composure, and then start up on your walk to your dorm. You had to get over it quickly and act like nothing was wrong. You still haven’t told Jessica about this professor. He was one of the heads of the physics department, so you’ve had to deal with him all the way up to now, and you’d have to deal with him after this course. You didn’t want Jessica to get all angry if there wasn’t anything you could do about it. So instead, you place a light smile back on your face and let yourself relax, knowing the rest of your birthday consists solely of time with your best friend - no vile professors, and no Haechan.

Another week goes by without a hitch, and so on Friday, you had spent most of the evening on the couch watching Bones. You had no homework and Jessica was out on a date with Mark for the night, not planning to get back until after 11:00. So, you figured you would occupy the living room rather than be huddled inside your bedroom hiding from Haechan if he had no reason to come over anyways. Though, it was only a little after 6:00 when the door to your dorm began to open, and you instinctively roll your eyes, knowing the only person it could be. “Jessica isn’t here, and frankly I’m gonna have to talk to her about you having an extra key-” You start as he opens the door, but then you finally see the state he’s in and worry begins to overtake your annoyance. “Haechan?!” You question, his tear-stained face a completely new sight to you.

His gaze has yet to be picked up off the floor, as he stands in complete defeat, his body shaking with sobs. “I’m sorry. I didn’t know if she would be here or not, and I couldn’t take the time to text and ask.” 

You’re immediately up off the couch, though you’re still frozen in your spot a few feet away from him. “You’re scaring me. What’s wrong?” You ask, trying to make your voice sound calmer than you felt in an attempt to get at least some control of the situation.

Haechan shakes his head. “No, you’re right. I shouldn’t have barged in. I shouldn’t be here.” He states, turning around to walk right back out of the door. He’s stopped though, by your firm tone.

“Lee Donghyuck, what is wrong?” This time, your question comes out more as a demand, and it’s enough to make Haechan freeze in his spot, dropping his hand that was reaching for the door knob. 

“My dad got in a car accident. He didn’t even make it through the ambulance ride.” He says, his words cut up by his cries. Your world stops, and you just stare at him. You were already really bad at comforting people, and this was the last thing you were expecting to hear, not to mention the last person you expected to be confiding in you.

“Hyuck…” You begin, but all you can do is fumble for words you know won’t come. Haechan gives you the pleasure of cutting you off.

“I didn’t know where else to go.” He replies, now fully crying again as he brings his hands up to cover his face. His sobs only silence for a second as he registers your touch. He brings his hands down to actually get visual confirmation that you were hugging him. You were standing in your living room and hugging your worst enemy, but you couldn’t just do nothing anymore. Your face pressed into his chest, you mumble out the best response you can muster.

“Here is just fine. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, and I’m sorry Jessica isn’t home to be the one to comfort you. I’m sorry it’s me, instead. I know you probably have other friends but…I’m watching Bones if you want to join. We can watch, like, an entire season if you want, and I’ll order your favorite food. If you want. I just- don’t really want you alone right now, and I’m scared that if I kick you out, you won’t ever find your way back out of your bedroom.”

At your words, Haechan seems to settle a bit more into the hug, using one sleeve of his hoodie to dry up his tears before replying. “Bones sounds good. What season are you on?”

You pick your head back out of his chest, staring up at him with a weak smile, hoping it conveyed just how grateful you were that he accepted your offer. “Just started season four. Come on.” 

You let go from the hug and motion for Haechan to find a place on the couch while you headed for the kitchen. While Haechan had been over more than you would have ever liked, your constant avoidance of him meant you had no clue what he actually liked. Instead, you stared at the open pantry with a frown before deciding to just grab all of your favorite snacks to share in hopes that he, too, enjoyed at least one of them. 

You place them all down on the coffee table in front of the couch, but suddenly you feel too awkward to say anything. So, you just make hesitant eye contact with Haechan for a second or two before he breaks away to actually look at everything you brought over. Though, because you’re still staring, you manage to catch the faint “thank you” that left his lips as he reached for a bag of chips. Despite yourself, the corners of your mouth perk up in a soft smile as you finally move to sit down next to him on the couch…a few feet away, but next to him.

It would have been completely quiet had the show not been on. Apparently you and Haechan were still really bad at being even acquaintances. Though, with the introduction of a new character, you quickly found your in.

“God, she’s had like, two minutes of screen time and I already hate Agent Perotta.” You say with a slight laugh, trying not to let it show how nervous you were to talk to him. Instead of glaring at you or pretending your input was the last thing he needed, though, he nodded a bit, smiling.

“Thank God you said it, because I hate her, too, but as a man I feel like saying it out of the blue would be distasteful.” He replies, and before you could stop it, you let out a heavy exhale of laughter. Immediately, your hand reaches up to cover your face, but Haechan had already whipped his head towards you. “Did you just find me funny?” He questions, the smile on his face growing.

You quickly shake your head, though your face wears a matching smile. “I don’t know what you’re talking about. This conversation is about Agent Perotta.” You say, looking back at the TV.

Haechan flashes his eyebrows up for a moment before redirecting his attention back to the show as well. “Yeah, I hate that bitch.” He says flatly, getting you to nod.

“I think this is the first thing we’ve ever agreed on.” You say, letting the shock factor show in your voice.

Haechan shakes his head, smiling in disbelief. “Should’ve known it was going to be about hating someone. Pretty sure you hate everyone except Jessica. I mean, what are we at now?” He teases, beginning to count them off on his fingers. “Me, Agent Perotta, your neighbor on the right, your professor who makes sexual comments about you…”

Immediately you jump up from the couch, staring at him with the widest of eyes. “WHAT?! How do you know about that?”

You watch as Haechan just shakes his head quickly, as if his previous statement would erase like an etch-a-sketch. “Oh, sorry. He’s on my list of people I hate. Mixed them up.” He replies like it’s nothing, and you don’t know how he’s being so nonchalant about this.

“Hyuck, we don’t share that class, how do you know about that professor? I haven’t even told Jessica.” You ask again, the panic beginning to seep through your words some more. You didn’t know how he knew, you didn’t know if he was going to tell Jessica, you didn’t know if it would change the way he viewed you, you didn’t know why Haechan’s view of you mattered because it was already shit anyways…all of it made you anxious. 

Haechan hangs his head back, staring up at you from where he still sat lazily on the couch. “Please don’t worry about it. Forget I said anything.” He responds, his orders strict but his voice calm. You just shake your head once more.

“Hyuck-” You start, but this time he rolls his eyes, finally getting fed up with the conversation.

“I just wanna watch Bones! Can we make this day about me again? Hello, I’m sad and in need of a light-hearted distraction in the form of crime-solving.” He says, his volume already much louder than it just previously was. Typically, his whining would just make you want to punch him, but he was right, at least a little bit. He was the one with the bigger stressor, and while it wasn’t a competition in the first place, you did want this to be a comforting time for him, not one where you grilled him over his knowledge of your personal life.

“Agh, you’re so difficult!” You shout back, though placing yourself down on the couch again anyways.

Haechan flashes a quick smile in response. “Great! You hate me, we hate Agent Perotta, we’re back on track. Press play.” He says, moving his arms out towards the TV in a showy fashion that you hated. Though, with Agent Perotta back on screen, it did bring up another truth.

“...I hate you less than I hate her.” You say quietly, but with your focus back on Bones, you miss Haechan’s smartass smirk falling into something softer in response. Then, Bones is the only sound to fill the dorm again.

A few hours and entirely too much takeout later, the front door opens again as Jessica walks through. 

“Hey y/n, I’m home-” She starts, locking the door, but then she finally turns around to the living room and her jaw drops. “Hyuck?!”

“Hey!” You reply as though nothing were amiss. Jessica looks back and forth between you and Haechan more times than you could count, her eyebrows furrowed.

“You two are hanging out??” She questions, and Haechan just shrugs.

“I had a bad day. Needed some comfort.” He replies neutrally, but Jessica’s eyes just grow wider.

“So you decided to hang out with y/n? Who you typically can’t stand to be in a room with for more than 0.5 seconds.”

You shake your head with a small laugh. “Jessica, he came over to see if you were here.” You say, stating the obvious. It doesn’t help Jessica’s shock.

“But when he saw it was just you, he stayed?” She asks, and you’re pretty sure you saw the mania start to set in behind her eyes.

“We’ve been watching Bones.” Haechan says with a smile.

Jessica shakes her head in disbelief. “And neither of you find this strange?”

“We hate Agent Perotta.” You reply with a smirk, and suddenly a wave of clarity washes over Jessica.

“Ah, common ground. Makes more sense.” She says calmly as she starts making her way to the couch as well. “Well, mind if I join-” She starts, but then Haechan’s phone begins to ring and he’s up off the couch in an instant.

“My mom is calling. I have to go.” He says, and the sadness and worry that you had managed to kill over the past few hours reappears in his voice in no time.

“Hyuck?” Jessica questions, but he just shakes his head in dismissal.

“I have to go.” He restates, and then makes his way to the door. You watch from the couch as he starts to leave, probably to go drive to meet his mom - this late at night…driving. Panic erupts in your system.

“Haechan,” you cry out, scrambling off the couch. He whips his body back around to face you rather than the door. Without thinking, you wrap Haechan in a hug, speaking softly into his shoulder. “Be safe, okay?” 

Haechan lets out a small sigh, knowing exactly where your mind was at. Gently, he places his arms around you, as well. “I hate you less than I hate her, too.” He says softly in place of replying to your last statement. You freeze in his arms and he’s the first to let go, his phone beginning to ring again and reminding the both of you he had somewhere to be. He’s quickly out the front door, leaving you to just turn back around towards Jessica on the couch. 

“What was that?” She asks, completely confused again. You just shake your head.

“It’s really not for me to tell you. Haechan just…got really bad news today. But you’re his actual best friend, he’ll tell you as soon as he can, I’m sure. Then you can take over my role and do a much better job at comforting him or so help me God.” You reply, a small laugh accompanying the end of your sentence before you continue. “I’m gonna go get ready for bed, if you don’t mind. I hope your date with Mark went really well.” Jessica just nods from the couch, a little dumbfounded by your behavior if you had to guess, but you couldn’t bring yourself to explain any further. 

Within the following week, Haechan had told Jessica about his dad. However, he also told her another piece of news, which Jessica immediately relayed to you once she got back from hanging out with him. 

“Hey, just thought I would let you know that Haechan and his girlfriend broke up.” She says after entering your dorm. You look up at her from the kitchen table, eyes wide.

“What?!” You question with more emotion than you could have imagined, but with the situation with his dad, was this really when she had to break it off and hurt him further. Jessica doesn’t answer your question, probably because it was incredibly vague. Instead, she moves on to her actual point of telling you.

“So, he might be over even more often than before.” She says carefully, trying to gauge how pissed you were gonna be at that piece of news. You just shake your head.

“Did he say why they broke up?” You don’t know why you asked, you didn’t care, but Jessica didn’t seem to think any of it was out of the ordinary.

“No, but he’s pretty torn up about it, which sucks because we both know how horrible she was to him.” Right, regardless of what horrible timing this was because of his already sad state, his girlfriend, or ex, probably wasn’t helping anyways while they were together. You figure Haechan dodged a bullet with the relationship ending sooner rather than later. You nod in response, speaking through a sigh as the past memories and stories about his ex replayed in your mind.

“Yeah…”

Jessica seems to be doing the same, but she shakes out of it quicker than you. “I think I’m gonna take him out to the bars next weekend or something. I don’t have a lot of free time right now, but I figure he could use a night out.” She says neutrally, and you nod, letting her know you probably couldn’t come up with a better idea.

“Yeah.”

Then two weeks later, you were telling Jessica to be safe as she left for the bars with Haechan. She extended the invite, but you figured Haechan probably had enough of you trying to support and comfort him, so you just told her that you’d stay home and to call if they needed a ride back. At one in the morning, that call came, but it was from Haechan rather than Jessica, and as you pick up, you forget the entire reason they went out tonight, your mind running on autopilot once you see his name light up your phone screen.

“What do you want?” You ask, your disgust at his call hardly hidden in your voice. You immediately feel bad though when he responds and his tone is much gentler than the one you used for him.

“Hey, Jess was the one who apparently needed to unwind tonight, so I let her do all the drinking at the bar…too much, apparently. I was gonna drive her back to your place but she was concerned about ruining whatever image she thinks you have of her in your head, so instead of her getting sick at your place, I let her get sick at mine. She just got in the shower, but I gotta be honest, now that I’m home, I’m pretty exhausted. Do you think you could come grab her?” He asks, and for a moment, you smile softly. You could tell Jessica had been stressed the past few weeks, truly probably needing the night out more than Haechan, and it was comforting knowing that he didn’t drink so that he could look out for her at the bar and back home. 

You nod your head before realizing he couldn’t see it, and then you speak up, much softer than before. “Yeah, I’ll be there soon. Send me your address.” You say, then hanging up and grabbing your things to head his way.

Haechan opens the door in response to your knocking, the familiar bored expression back on his face. “You got here quicker than I thought you would…Jessica is still in the shower.” He states, as though your early presence was a huge inconvenience. You don’t pay attention to his tone, though. Your mind focuses on his clothes as you unintentionally scan his body up and down.

“Skinny jeans, huh?” You question with a straight face, meeting his eyes again as he smirks down at you.

“Well, I knew there was a high probability I’d see you tonight so I thought it would be fun to torment you-” You don’t know what came over you, but surely it wasn’t your fault. You told him not to wear skinny jeans ever again, and he did so just to spite you. Somehow, it all made him really hot, and you find yourself cutting off his words as you press your lips to his. You pull away quickly, shock covering both your faces as you simply stare at each other, eyes wide and breath heavy as you process what you just did. 

You swallow hard, trying to remedy your suddenly dry throat. Your courage to look him in the eyes diminishes within milliseconds, and you drop your face towards the floor, which seemed to irritate Haechan to no end because as soon as your gaze met the floor, he walked the one step back over to you, grabbing your jaw to the point where it almost hurt and forcing you to look his way again. Then he kissed you harshly, and you fell right in line. 

There was no romance in the kiss. Instead, something like lust had your tongues fighting for dominance with each other as your hands tried to memorize every part of Haechan’s body. The two of you moved with intensity, stumbling around the room because you couldn’t possibly stay still with the amount of passion embedded in this kiss. The first time you remember breaking away wasn’t so you could take a breath. You were fine never needing oxygen again. Instead you broke away to pull his shirt up over his head, discarding it to the side without much care. You immediately press your lips back onto his, but he’s quick to pull back this time, looking at you with a shake of his head as his eyes move back and forth between your two bodies.

“No fair!” He complains, causing you to roll your eyes before removing your own shirt to reveal your black lace bra because the universe was apparently on your side when you got dressed today. You watch his adam’s apple bob up and down as he takes you in, a heavy sigh escaping his lips. “No fair…” He whispers before rushing to close the distance between you two again, but this time, his lips don’t land on yours. Instead, they find your chest as his hands squeeze at your waist. You throw your head back in response, giving Haechan the ability to leave a trail of kisses from your chest up your neck, stopping in the middle to nip at somewhere near your collarbone before his continued exploration, and you thank God that Jessica has the shower running to cover up the moan it produced from you. He kisses up your neck and jaw before eventually finding his way to your lips again, and you waste no time getting your tongue back in his mouth. Before you know it, he’s picking you up, just to throw you right back down on the couch. Your eyes open in surprise, but then the sight of him on top of you has you unable to function. For some godforsaken reason, he’s able to read you completely, chuckling as he looks at your breathless expression. 

The sound of his laugh gets you to break out of it, and you rush to connect your lips with his again. Your hands trace up and down his bare back, your nails sending goosebumps to his entire body as they claw at certain spots. Your hands get caught in his belt loops, causing a smile to cover your face and impeding your ability to kiss him, but you couldn’t help finding humor in the fact that his skinny jeans caused all of this. You shake your head, pulling away from the kiss for a moment and making Haechan pout before he moves to suck on your neck again.

“God, you have such a slutty waist for no reason.” You spit out in feigned anger, hands resuming their roaming over his figure. Haechan pops up so his eyes could meet yours. A playful smirk on his face covering up the split second glance you got of him looking ready to devour you.

“You love my slutty waist.” He responds confidently, and while you would love to prove him wrong, you can’t bring yourself to. So, you open and close your mouth, fighting for words that would never come out, and for a moment, Haechan looks down at you with something resembling fondness written over his features, though you were positive you were making that up. He shakes his head softly with a smile before leaning back down to kiss you, and once his lips were on yours, his entire demeanor was coated with a certain roughness and desire again that had you weak.

The only thing that pulled the two of you out of your bubble was the sound of the shower turning off, and suddenly your background noise was gone, making everything feel more real. Haechan broke out of the kiss with wide eyes, rushing to get off from on top of you as he grabbed your shirts from the floor, throwing yours over to you as he fumbled to put his own shirt back on. 

“Don’t you dare tell anyone about this.” He says sternly, running a hand through his hair to get it back to somewhat normal. You rush to put your shirt back on, bounding off the couch before Jessica could walk out of the bathroom.

“I wasn’t planning on it.” You reply in kind, refusing to acknowledge the pit in your stomach that formed as Haechan gave an uninterested eyebrow flash and went to busy himself in the kitchen, preparing to act normal for whenever Jessica eventually walked out so you could take her home. 

It was only three days later when you saw Haechan again. More excited than usual for their Tuesday dinner, Jessica opened the door before Haechan could even use his key. “Hey!” She greets with a smile which he reflects right back. 

“Hey!” He replies, actually stepping into your living room. 

Jessica immediately starts talking about how she’s not even close to being ready yet but was swamped with homework and couldn’t wait for the forced study break that came with dinner, even though she had to go make herself look presentable first. Haechan nodded along, but you’re not sure he was listening at all, because even though Jessica was right in front of him, his gaze kept wandering over to you on the couch before he could noticeably snap his focus back to Jessica. You tried to stay natural, that way if Jessica actually followed his gaze over to you, she wouldn’t immediately suspect something. Though, when Jessica did finally go back to start getting ready for dinner, you jumped off the couch and dragged Haechan by the collar towards the corner of the room furthest away from hers. 

“You have to stop being so weird around me. Jessica is gonna know something happened.” You say sternly, though you kept your voice at a near whisper just in case you weren’t as far away from Jessica as you thought. Your eyebrows furrowed as you looked over Haechan. He had never been this uncool before. 

Haechan shakes his head, keeping his volume low though his words were more frantic than yours.  “I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you.” You take a small step back in surprise, finally letting go of your grip on his shirt. That was probably the last thing you were expecting him to say, but you would be lying if you said it didn’t make your heart jump up in your throat. 

“So…” You start, begging for clarification on what that meant.

Haechan moves his head down so that he’s able to make better eye contact with you, so that you could see the seriousness in his gaze. “So can we maybe see each other when Jessica isn’t getting ready in the next room?” 

You swallow hard at the question. “That sounds like a lot of sneaking around.”

“It’s worth it for you.” He replies instantaneously, making you freeze again. He was saying a very right thing under what felt like the wrong context, and despite yourself, you try to remedy that.

“But- does it have to be all sneaky? I mean, couldn’t we just-” Though, that’s as far as he lets you get before he cuts you off, shaking his head with a small laugh.

“Y/n, be real. We don’t like each other. This isn’t something emotional, it’s physical. Yeah?” Right, this was your mortal enemy you were talking to. You guys didn’t like each other. An actual relationship would be the worst idea in the world, but that doesn’t take away from the fact that he looks like a dream in skinny jeans…and you’d take what you could get.

“Yeah- uh, yeah. Let’s do it.” You reply, and Haechan flashes you a killer smirk before breaking away and settling himself on the couch to wait for Jessica to get done. You don’t join him, already feeling dizzy from the conversation. Instead, you just find refuge in your bedroom until they leave, but that night didn’t end without a text from Haechan, already making plans.

You and Haechan quickly fell into routine. The first time you went over to his house under the guise of you going to study at the library, you hardly said two words to each other. Instead, Haechan opened his door to your presence and immediately pulled you inside by your arm, pushing you towards the general direction of the couch so he could get on top of you.

The next time you came over, he opened the door to see your bright smile. “Hey, Hyuck-!” You could hardly get your words out before he pulled you inside and pinned you against the now closed door. Through heavy pants in between harsh kisses, he speaks. 

“I love it when you call me that.”

You involuntarily smile a bit as you do your best to look at him with raised eyebrows. “Your name?” You ask sarcastically as he sucks on your neck.

He pops his head back up so he can look you in the eyes as he replied. “My name that the people who I care about call me.” You freeze, chills running through your entire body at his words, and in that moment, you knew you were fucked, because this was not just physical to you. Haechan was naturally flirty - a sweet talker. That wasn’t hard to deduce from his looks alone. He was hot and he knew it, which also meant he knew how to get whatever girl he wanted for the time being, but the idea of being a ‘time being’ girl of his began to make cracks in your heart. That night, you left with a spare key to his house and instructions of coming over whenever you wanted, for physical purposes, of course.  

As soon as Jessica said she was going back home for the weekend, you immediately texted Haechan to let him know, and not even five minutes after Jess closed the door to your place, you opened it back up again to Haechan’s presence. “Hey, y/n.” He says with a smile you can’t help but reflect back to him. 

“Hi, Hyuckie.” You reply bashfully. You watch as his eyes widen a bit, his smile now reaching the rest of his facial features. Without spending much time thinking about it, he leans in and gives you a quick peck on the lips before instantly retreating back and facing the floor. You laugh as you step back and actually allow him inside, figuring that kiss was probably too domestic for him to handle. 

Since the two of you hadn’t commenced this whole operation at your place before, Haechan waited for you to take the lead on deciding where he could have you. You watch his idle presence, laughing a bit, much to his confusion, before shaking your head. “Come here.” You say, nodding your head, and he’s quick to follow.

“Um, y/n?” He says as you turn into the room. “This is your bathroom.”

“I know.” You say, bending down to grab something in one of your cabinets. Haechan just stares at you bewildered, even more so when you pull out a lens case and contact solution. You smile at his expression. “Go on then. I know you still haven’t switched contacts and I know you brought your glasses with you.”

“What?” He asks with wide eyes. You shake your head fondly, placing a gentle hand on his cheek.

“Your contacts irritate your eyes. You look cute in glasses. Please take out your stupid contacts and put your glasses on.” You watch as he dismisses your words, shaking his head as his eyes glaze with fear rather than confusion. You bite on the inside of your cheek, beyond pissed that his ex turned him into this. “Hyuck, you’re the hottest person alive. I don’t care about whatever your ex-girlfriend said. I understand if you get self-conscious and want to wear your contacts out in public, but you don’t have to with me. All I want is for you to be comfortable, and I know you’re not in your contacts.” You watch as he nods his head slowly, and you leave the bathroom with a soft smile as he gets close to the mirror to start taking his contacts out. 

You sit on the couch as you wait for him to come out of the bathroom, scrolling idly on your phone. You pop your head up to meet him when you hear his footsteps cause the floor to creak. He looks small, his arms crossed, gaze aimed at the floor, and his glasses on. You smile warmly. “My pretty boy, come here.” You say, standing up with open arms, but Haechan freezes.

“What?”

You don’t know what he’s confused about until you trace back over your words, eyes going wide as you try and remedy the situation. “I- I didn’t mean to be so possessive, calling you mine and everything. I know you’re not…mine. I mean, this is purely physical. I wasn’t trying to be like- you know. It just slipped out. I’m sorry. Please come objectify me and make things normal again.”

“Y/n, you know you’re not just a body to me, right?” He asks softly, a skeptical eyebrow raised. You raise your head to look at him through narrow eyes. 

“I’m not?”

He rolls his eyes, shaking his head. “No, of course not. I didn’t mean to make you feel like that.”

“But then- but this is just physical…you don’t- I mean we don’t like each other so I don’t know how-” Your stumbling words are cut off with a kiss that you melt right into. Haechan pulls back finally with a tired expression on his face.

“You seriously talk too much. Yeah, we don’t like each other, but that doesn’t mean I act as if you’re just some body for me to use. You’re y/n, which means you’re my favorite person to hate. And you hate me back, which is great because you always look so hot when you’re pissed at me, it gets right under my skin in all the best ways. And I get the pleasure of knowing what you taste like? Do you know how big a flex that is? I mean, come on. You’re the hottest nerd around, and instead of the other nerds who probably have the biggest crush on you being the ones to kiss you like this, I’m the one who gets to know you use dragon fruit chapstick.” 

You’re able to let out a soft laugh. “You know it’s dragon fruit?” You ask in response, and Haechan raises his eyebrows, a smirk covering his lips.

“We kiss a lot.” He replies. You toss his words around visibly in your head.

“I don’t know. I don’t think we do it enough.” You say back, and Haechan just licks his lips. 

“You don’t know how badly I want to make you eat your words.” He says through his teeth, and you just throw a taunting grin his way.

“Then why don’t you?” You ask, and Haechan audibly laughs before grabbing you by the waist and crashing his lips onto yours.

You break after who knows how long when your stomach starts feeling like it’s caving in on itself. Haechan wastes no time in moving his lips from your own to your neck, guessing you probably just needed to break for air. You roll your eyes with a smile. “Hyuck.” You say monotonously, making him pop his head back up to your joyless demeanor.

“Did I do something wrong? I’m sorry. I just-”

“Hyuckie,” you laugh, and he seems to calm down a bit. “I haven’t had anything to eat yet today. I’m starving. I can’t physically kiss your pretty face anymore.”

Haechan shrugs. “Okay, let’s order a pizza.” 

You look at him, bewildered. “What- I thought- you’re not just gonna…I thought you were gonna go.”

“And why would I do that?” He questions, making you scrunch your brows down.

“Because then it would be like us hanging out while we eat. Not…this.”

Haechan laughs again. “I know. Let’s order a pizza. We’ve watched Bones on your couch before. You’re crazy if you think I’m gonna leave you so soon.” 

The shyest smile crosses your face as you reach for the phone to call the pizza place. You stare down at the number entered on the keypad - all you had to do was press the call button. Instead, you turn your gaze back over to Haechan, holding your phone out towards him. “Can you do it?” You ask shyly, and Haechan’s brows furrow.

“What?” He asks with ample confusion. You drop your head in response.

“I get really nervous when I need to order something over the phone.” You reply, your words hardly audible under your embarrassment. Haechan shakes his head, but the biggest smile comes across his face.

“You’re so fucking adorable. Give me the phone, you go get the TV ready.” He says, and you snap your gaze back up to him, a small grateful smile of your own painted across your lips as you move towards the TV. “Just a large pepperoni pizza, yeah?” Haechan continues, and you turn back to him with a nod.

“Yeah.”

You immediately turn Bones on the TV for the two of you to watch while you eat, and you’re pleasantly surprised to find a normal activity such as this didn’t feel awkward at all with him anymore. Haechan finished eating before you did, and he frowned at the space between the two of you on the couch for only a second before sliding over and wrapping an arm around your shoulder. You will your face not to blush at something as stupid as this, and you don’t even know if it worked. Regardless, there was still twenty minutes left on the episode when you finished eating, too. So, you made yourself more comfortable against his body.

Haechan started rubbing his thumb up and down your side where it had laid, incredibly too domestic for your liking. You try and shake it off pretty successfully, until his thumb moved ever so slightly to caress your covered breast. You sigh, turning to face him with a raised eyebrow. “You’re an idiot.” You say monotonously. 

He doesn’t look away from the TV, but he grins widely. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” He replies. Though, his attempt to feign innocence is completely ruined when he straight up grabs your boob.

“Okay, that’s it.” You huff, switching from your position laying at his side to instead straddling him on top of your couch. Haechan looks at you as though he has no clue what you’re doing there, though his hands immediately latch onto your thighs, pulling you as close as possible to him. 

“You had enough to eat yet?” He asks with a smirk.

You give a minimal shake of your head. “I don’t know, you look pretty tasty.” You hardly get through your words before your ability to speak is taken from you. Haechan kissed you with a passion that couldn’t be rivaled, as his hands left your thighs to grab your waist, trying his best to pull you even closer to him. You knew you messed up when you started moving your lower body against his, making him break away from the kiss immediately. 

“Fuck, y/n!” He says loudly, but his grip on your waist only encourages you to speed up. As he tore his lips from yours, you moved to suck on his neck, another thing you shouldn’t have done. “No, no, no! That’s my job. Need your pretty neck.” He huffs, doing his best to remove your shirt. You let him, and then Haechan has a field day with your neck and chest as you still grind against him. Somewhere along the way, you managed to rip him from his shirt as well, your fingers lightly tracing his abs and making him go crazy. He eventually started dipping his fingers beneath the waistline of your pants. “Y/n, tell me to stop.” He breathes.

“Do I have to?” You reply in between kisses. 

“Yes, y/n. I- You don’t know how badly I need you.” 

“Show me, then.” 

Haechan pulls back from your lips, staring at you intently. “Y/n, I refuse to let this be something you regret.”

You laugh a little, shaking your head in dismissal. “I won’t. I promise.” 

Haechan looks at you as though he’s holding back his own laugh. “That sounded so certain. I would hate to be the guy that has you sure this won’t be as bad.” He replies, and you suddenly understand his interpretation of your words, causing you to duck your head, moving your attention to your hands that were currently fiddling with Haechan’s fingers.

“Oh, no. Hyuck, I’ve never…” Your words taper off, and Haechan looks at you with wide eyes.

“Oh my god, y/n. I can’t be your first. I mean, that’s a big deal, you know? You deserve-”

“Hyuck, there’s no one I trust more than you for this.” You say, cutting him off and getting him to render still. He licks his lips in contemplation, sighing heavily before he looks back up at you.

“You might end up bleeding - that’s okay. I don’t want you to worry about that or feel embarrassed at all because of it. I’ll clean you up after. If at any point you get uncomfortable, you tell me right away. I do not care what point that is, you tell me and it stops immediately, no questions asked. I will do my best to not hurt you, but you gotta tell me what feels good, okay? I’m gonna need you to be vocal and I mean it literally. I wanna make this about you, yeah? Tell me what you want and what feels good. And if you’re not 100% sure, I need you to be honest about it right now because-”

“Hyuckie.” You say gently, cutting him off. “I’m sure. You don’t have to worry.”

“Yes, I do!” He rebuttals. You just roll your eyes playfully, leaning in to give him a quick kiss before making eye contact again.

“It’s okay. Look, all you have to do is wrap your pretty fingers around my neck and we’ll be good to go.” You say plainly. Haechan looks at you in disbelief.

“A choking kink? You’re kidding me.” He says, adding on a dismissive chuckle. Though, you just raise your eyebrows at him expectantly, letting him know you were serious, and he turns slightly shy.

You watch as he sucks on his lips, eyes darting down from your own as he fights back a smile. “Like, is this good?” He asks, wrapping one of his hands around your neck lightly. His face contorts as you audibly laugh.

“Absolutely not. Come on, choke me like you hate me, Hyuck.” 

His eyes go wide as he pulls his hand from your neck. “You know, I don’t know if I want to take you to the bedroom anymore. You scare me.” He remarks playfully, but you send a pout his way and he instantly folds, picking you up from under your thighs and making his way to your bedroom. The two of you spend an ample amount of time just making out, exploring each other’s bodies. Then, with another check of assurance from Haechan and a rip of a condom packet with his teeth, he gave you a glimpse of heaven. 

Afterwards, Haechan got straight to work on his promise of helping you clean up. “Alright, beautiful, do you wanna shower?” He asks, but you don’t answer his question.

“Don’t call me that.” You say instead, watching as he furrows his brows. You sigh, dodging his eye contact. “Too domestic…” You add on, and you can hear him sigh.

“Okay, I’m sorry. I won’t call you that, but really, do you want to shower?” He asks again, and you nod. He immediately scoops you up, carrying you bridal style to the bathroom. 

“I can walk you know?” You say playfully before he sets you down on the bathroom floor.

“Yeah? Guess I need to go harder next time.” He replies with a smirk, but your playfulness falls into genuine happiness. 

“I’m glad there’s still a ‘next time’ after all this.” 

Haechan drops his shoulders, taking the opportunity provided by the fact that you were staring at the floor to look at you with a softness in his eyes. “There’s always a ‘next time’ with us.” He says, placing a gentle kiss on your forehead before moving to start up the shower for you. Standing frozen, by the time you realize you had to tell him that forehead kisses were also too domestic for you to handle, he was already out of the bathroom. 

When you walk back into your room wrapped in a towel, you’re shocked to see your bed stripped to just the mattress. You move your gaze to Haechan, a questioning look on your face. “Your sheets are in the washer right now. Do you have another set I can throw on your bed? If not, you can sleepover at mine. I’d just want to make sure we get your bedding in the dryer before we leave to go back to mine.” 

You’re quite honestly dumbfounded, and a smile takes over your face as you shake your head. “No, I don’t have another set. You didn’t have to do all this.” You say softly, but Haechan snaps his head back to you in an instant.

“Yes, I said I would. And this isn’t about me. How are you feeling?”

“Good.” You answer truthfully.

“Can I get you anything?” He continues, and you shake your head.

“No.” You reply. There was a beat of silence, and you lick your lips. “Actually…” You drag off, staring up at him to make sure he actually didn’t care about you making requests. “Could you just- can you just hold me for a second?” You ask weakly, and Haechan’s eyes widen.

“Yeah…yeah! Come here.” He says gently, and you take the few small steps right into his waiting arms. You don’t hug him back, your arms instead at your chest, holding up the towel that was still covering your body. Though, if Haechan minded, he didn’t let it show. His arms wrapped around you tightly, his embrace comforting. Then, without being able to really explain why, you began to cry in his arms. Haechan didn’t seem shocked. Instead, he just ran one hand gently up and down your back, though not letting up on his tight hold of you. 

“I’m sorry.” You say hoarsely. “I don’t know why I’m crying.” 

Haechan kisses the top of your head. “You don’t have to apologize. It’s okay. You’ve had an exhausting day. I’d rather you cry in my arms than alone.” 

You dig your head out of his chest, using one hand to wipe away the remaining tears on your face. “You can’t be this nice to me.” You say seriously, and Haechan sighs.

“Okay, no more being nice to each other…after tonight.” He says, and you find yourself nodding your head in response, getting him to relax again. “Do you still want me to hold you, or do you want to get dressed and head to mine?” He asks, truly not caring either way. 

You pull yourself out of his arms in response, facing the floor. “I’ll uh- get ready.”

The drive over to his place is quiet, with you staring out the window the entire time. Though, as soon as you walk through his front door, you find your words again. “I don’t regret it.” You say seriously. “And I won’t regret it when I wake up tomorrow. Or any time after that. I know I’m acting weird, but it’s not because of that. I promise.”

Haechan looks your way with a fond smile. “You aren’t acting weird, y/n. I put you through a lot today. I get it. Just come crawl into bed with me. I’ll hold you some more.” You don’t hesitate to give into his offer, though, you add it to the list of things that probably shouldn’t happen again if you don’t want to fall in love with Haechan. 

You ended up spending the entire next day with Haechan, under the reasoning that this would be the most time you guys would be able to spend together without Jessica getting suspicious. The two of you were walking back into your dorm Saturday night so that you could put your bed back together and hang out some more, figuring Haechan could just spend the night here and leave in the morning before Jessica gets back. That plan is instantly ruined when you open up the front door and see Jessica moving around in the kitchen. As quickly as you could, you shove Haechan back into the dorm hallway with one hand and slam the door behind you, praying he got the hint that Jessica was here and you didn’t just suddenly turn into a bitch. 

At the sound of the door slamming, Jessica shoots her gaze your way with a smile. “Hey, y/n!” 

You force your legs to start walking, moving towards the living room as if everything was normal. “Hey, Jess. I thought you weren’t supposed to be back until tomorrow afternoon.” You say, wondering why the hell she was already here. She waves an uninterested hand in the air.

“That was the plan, but I have so much homework and my parents had a brunch planned with some of their friends so there was really no reason for me to stay another night.” 

“Ah.” You reply, trying to just sneak away to your room without any more complications. You had nearly gotten away with it, but before you can step through the open door into your room, Jessica speaks up again, making you turn back to her.

“Oh, yeah. Where are your bed sheets?” She asks, curious, and you wince.

“Uh, they’re in the dryer. I washed them.” You say neutrally, but Jessica raises an eyebrow.

“You? Washed your sheets? You never wash your sheets.” She says with a laugh.

“Yeah well, you know. Just seemed like they needed washed.” You reply, trying your best to sound normal. 

“And uh- would that have anything to do with the hickies on your neck?” She asks, and you freeze on the spot, eyes wide as you make contact with her knowing expression, praying to God she didn’t know the all of it.

“Uh- yeah you know. I might’ve hooked up with someone while you were gone.” You say, fumbling through your words. You watch as Jessica lights up.

“Who?!” 

Your throat turns dry, and you start fiddling with the rings on your fingers as you find someone to pin this on. “Johnny! You know, the kid from Chicago who takes the least amount of credit hours a semester as possible so he can spend as many years at college parties as possible? Him.” You look back up to meet Jessica’s bewildered face.

“Wow.” She replies, seeming to be incredibly amazed by your ability to pull Johnny, and you can’t even begin to imagine what she would look like if you told her you actually pulled her best friend, instead. 

“Yeah, so- I’m just gonna go grab my sheets from the dryer and go to bed. I’ve had quite the weekend and we still have all of Sunday to get through.” As soon as you finish talking, you dart to where the washer and dryer were before rushing back to your bedroom and closing the door, immediately grabbing your phone to text Haechan.

Jessica is back early! I’m sorry for slamming the door in your face, but I didn’t know what else to do.

His response comes a few minutes later, finally letting you relax again. Don’t worry, I figured that was the case. I’m already back at my place…

Though you were glad he wasn’t still outside your dorm, because he definitely couldn’t come in now, your heart struggled with the idea of him already back at his house…without you. I wish we could’ve had our extra night together. I miss you, Hyuckie.

You watch as his text bubble appears and disappears. You bite on your bottom lip, opting to start putting your bed back together to keep your mind from running. After putting one corner of your fitted sheet back on, your phone dings and you instantly move to grab it and read his message. I thought we weren’t supposed to be nice to each other.

A small smile spreads across your face. He was making fun of you. You were the one who set those boundaries in the first place. You glance from your phone to your bed and immediately know how to respond. Don’t worry. I only wish you were here so you could help me make my bed like you said you would.

There’s my y/n. You read his text over and over again. Surely he just meant it in regard to your typical personality with him, the y/n he knew. Though, the more you looked at his text, the more you knew you didn’t want him to mean it in that way, you wanted him to call you his. That’s when you knew there was no way you could respond to that message. So, you continue the task of making your bed so you could go to sleep, trying to ignore how empty it felt without him. 

Two days later, you walked back in from class to see Jessica and Haechan hanging out in your living room. Your breath hitches at the sight of him, and you quickly turn around and act like you were still fiddling with the door so you could take a moment to fix a neutral expression on your face…and prepare yourself to scowl at him once you turn back around. 

“Hey, Jess. I’m home-” You start, moving to walk towards the living room. “-oh great. You’re here.” You continue with a roll of the eyes as your gaze lands on Haechan. 

His deadpan stare looks you up and down as his nose scrunches in disgust. “Yeah, cause I was told you weren’t.”

You flash your eyebrows at him, unamused. “Well, don’t worry. I won’t be bothering you.” You state as you start on your walk to your room. Haechan calls out after you.

“You already are, sweetheart.” He says condescendingly. 

“Yeah, fuck you.” You reply back, closing the door to your bedroom and giving yourself the ability to actually breathe again.

On the couch, Jessica rubs her forehead. “You know, I thought things were actually gonna get better between the two of you after you watched Bones that one day.” She says with a small, but defeated, laugh. Haechan clears his throat awkwardly. 

“Sorry to kill your spirits, but y/n and I are not meant to be friends.” He replies in kind before quickly getting the two of them back to their conversation topic from before you walked in. 

You were getting through some homework when there was a knock at your door. Assuming it was Jessica, you throw the door open, though shock courses through you when you see Haechan, instead. He leans in to give you a soft kiss before standing straight up again, as if that type of thing was normal between the two of you. “Jessica is in the bathroom.” He says softly, and you look at him with a raised eyebrow.

“That’s great, but I don’t think that gives us enough time to fuck.” You respond with a laugh, though Haechan’s brows furrow.

“What? I didn’t come here for that. I came to tell you I’m sorry for being mean to you when you came in.” 

Surprise runs over your face, but it soon drops into a gentle smile. “Don’t worry about it, Hyuck. We’re supposed to hate each other.”

He rolls his eyes. “I know, but it didn’t feel good this time.” He responds, riddled with defeat, and you can’t help yourself from getting up on your tiptoes to lightly kiss him again.

You pull back quickly, facing the ground. “Hyuckie-” That’s when the sound of the bathroom door opening fills the air, and you immediately jump to lean uninterestedly against your doorframe, arms crossed in front of your body as your face falls flat. “Homework! So, can you stop annoying me just because Jessica is gone for one second and you can’t annoy her?” 

As predicted, Jessica quickly finds her way over to the two of you, eventually coming to stand at Haechan’s side. “Can’t believe I come out of the bathroom to find you talking with y/n.” She says with genuine surprise. You make concerned eye contact with her.

“Talking? More like tormenting…” You say in response.

Jessica turns to look at Haechan, nudging him slightly. “Hyuck, I would be careful about pissing her off, now. She’s got some big men on her side that can come beat you up. I mean, she hooked up with Johnny Suh.” 

Your face becomes painted with shock. “Jessica!” You yell, causing her to put her hands up in defense.

“Look, it just came out.”

Haechan makes eye contact with you, a shit-eating grin on his face. “Hooked up with Johnny?! Really?” He responds, playing his part of not believing you pulled him exceptionally well.

You flash your eyebrows at him, doing your best to try and act all powerful now because you apparently hooked up with Johnny. “Yep! It was one hell of a first time.” You reply, and a soft smile is quick to adorn your face as you continue. “Not to mention he took…really good care of me after. You could learn something from him about how to treat women.” You add on, looking back up at him with a smirk. Almost all of Haechan’s body language could lead anyone to believe he hated you, didn’t give a damn about who you slept with, could hardly bother himself with this conversation at all, but his eyes were filled with fondness as he looked back at you. You inhale sharply, thankful when Haechan starts talking again to remind you of the environment you were in.

“Yeah? I’ll be sure to ask for lessons on how to tolerate you first.” He responds with a smirk of his own. Jessica finally gets fed up, rolling her eyes and grabbing Haechan by the arm to drag him away from you before you could argue any more. You almost instantly throw your homework back in your backpack, walking to the door to leave as you turn around to face them again. 

“I’m gonna head to the library since I obviously can’t get any work done here. I’ll be back later tonight.” You say with a smile aimed in Jessica’s direction. She threw a thumbs up your way along with a ‘be safe,’ and then you were out the door. 

You had just gotten to the library when your phone lit up with a text from Haechan.

I’ll pick you up from the library after Jess and I eat dinner.

You can’t help the laugh that escapes you, though really, you’re beyond glad he could see how much you wanted him tonight. I’d be pissed if you didn’t :) 

His response is instantaneous. Yeah, yeah. Go do your homework before I fuck you dumb <3 

Around an hour and a half later, you get a call from Haechan and you immediately stuff your laptop back into your bag before picking up the phone. “Hey, where are you sitting? I’ll come pick you up-” He starts, but you cut him off in an instant.

“Absolutely not. We cannot be seen in public together.” 

“Y/n, this isn’t some big scandal.” He replies lightly, but you shake your head, regardless of the fact that he couldn’t see it.

“You’re wrong. Everyone knows we hate each other and everyone knows Jessica is our mutual. If they see us together, it’s getting back to Jessica in an instant. Tell me where you’re parked and I’ll come to you.” A small laugh accompanies your words, even more so when Haechan pouts on the other end and you can imagine it vividly.

“Fine, but you’re never allowed to complain that chivalry is dead when you’re the one causing it.” You roll your eyes, stepping out of the library and immediately seeing his car anyways. You hang up on the phone and open his passenger door to slide into your seat. “Finish all your homework like a good girl?” He asks with a smirk and you send a glare his way.

“Shut up. I finished all but one assignment. I got a little distracted.” You drag off, and Haechan lights up.

“Oh my god, did you touch yourself in the library bathrooms?”

“No!” You reply adamantly before sinking back into the passenger seat a little. “But I would’ve if I had to wait any longer. Dinner took a long time, Hyuckie.” You add with a frown, and Haechan just shakes his head in the driver’s seat. 

“God, it is taking everything in me to not throw you in the backseat and have you right here right now.”

You roll your eyes, more than aware that you couldn’t have car sex in front of the library. Instead, you place a hand on his cheek and kiss him deeply. He didn’t complain, figuring making out with you in his front seat was enough to hold him over since he couldn’t fuck you in the back seat. You let an entire song play through the radio as you indulged in Haechan’s taste, finally pulling back with a heavy breath before you could forget your morals. “Um…Please drive now so we can go home and you can undress me. I need you.”

 Haechan tries to hide his smile as he shifts into drive and places his hands back on the wheel. “Yeah, yeah. Next stop…home.”

You stumble your way inside his front door, passionate kisses getting in the way of actually walking. The second you get inside, Haechan is sliding your shirt over your head. He keeps his kisses as consistent as possible until everything actually registers in his mind and he pulls back to look you up and down, absentmindedly licking his lips. “Y/n, goddamn.”

You look down at your chest just to laugh and fix your gaze back on him. “Oh yeah, I forgot to tell you. I did some shopping.” You say offhandedly, as though your new lingerie set wasn’t killing Haechan. He finally brings himself to look back at your face, not bothering to hide how pissed he was.

“On the couch, now.” He orders, and you just roll your eyes playfully, grabbing him by the neck of his shirt to bring him along with you. In no time flat, he’s completely on top of you, kissing what seemed to be every inch of your body. Though, the second his lips land on your neck, you remember the new boundaries you had to set. 

“Hey, you can’t leave marks on my neck anymore.” 

“Oh, but Johnny can, huh?” He teases as he props himself up to make eye contact with you. 

You roll your eyes. “He was the first guy that came to mind.”

Haechan shakes his head. “I’ll make sure you can never think about another guy again.” He says with conviction, and for a moment, you forget how to breathe.

“God, you’re so hot.” You say through an exhale, and Haechan just laughs before moving to suck and nip at your neck again. “Hyuck, that didn’t mean you could still bruise me, baby.” 

He hums against your skin, finding a way to respond without putting too much space between your two bodies. “Can’t help it. You look so pretty, all marked up as mine.” He mumbles. You sigh, running a hand gently through his hair as he works on your chest instead. 

“Hyuckie, I’m not yours.” You say softly, trying to make sure the defeat you felt while admitting that didn’t show. Haechan freezes immediately, and when he finally finds his ability to move, it’s just to press a lingering kiss on your lips.

“Just for tonight. Be mine just for tonight.” He says, though it comes out more so as a question. You let out another small sigh, shaking your head before moving to connect your lips to his again. 

“Jessica knows I don’t do any homework past 10:00.” You tell him as you break apart. Haechan takes a moment to glance at his watch, reading the time before nodding his head softly. 

“I’ll get you back by then. Don’t worry.” From then until 9:45, Haechan spent all of his time making sure you were his that night.  

It was about two months into whatever it was that you and Haechan had gotten yourselves into. You were currently sitting in the living room. You knew Haechan was fully aware that Jessica wasn’t home, so now you were just waiting for him to burst through the front door at any moment. When he finally does, he walks to put his keys and wallet down on the counter before making his way over to where you were sitting and placing a soft kiss on your lips. “Hey,” he says smoothly, causing blush to cover your face. You still weren’t used to the days where he would be more gentle with you, not that you were complaining, but it was unfamiliar nonetheless. You smile back at him, about to respond when he finally moves his gaze to assess what you’ve been up to. “Are you playing Mariokart?” He asks, and you laugh from slight embarrassment. 

“Yeah. Had to kill time while waiting for you somehow.” You say as you hit the home button to exit out, but then you notice the smallest traces of sadness cross his face, causing you to smirk. “Did you want to play?” You ask, and Haechan shoots his gaze back over to you, looking more like a boy than ever. 

“Of course I want to play!” He replies, and suddenly your laughter isn’t from embarrassment anymore. You move to grab another remote for him so the two of you could play together. You spent the next two hours playing Mariokart with him, trying to perfect all the circuits so you could collect all the best trophies, and though today’s physical touch went no further than celebratory kisses, playful shoves, and your head on his shoulder, you wouldn’t have traded it for the world. Though, it brought about a fundamental truth - you were not having passionate sex with your enemy. No, you found that you liked being around Haechan. 

The two of you had finished a quick dinner before the realization hit that Jessica would be coming back home from her night class soon. With a shared glance, you and Haechan both knew he should probably head back to his place. You reluctantly walked him to your front door, hand reaching for the knob to open it when Haechan’s hand grabbed hold of your own. You look up at him, confused, but he just stared down at you with a grin before leaning in to kiss you. “We can do this more often, too.” He says softly as he pulls back. You raise your brows in question. 

“Kiss?” You reply, trying to figure out what he was referring to. 

Haechan laughs, shaking his head and making his hair fall messily around his eyes. “No- well, yes, I always want to kiss you, but I’m talking about just hanging out. You know, playing Mariokart and all that…if you want! We don’t have to, I can just come over and immediately undress you and I wouldn’t mind that either-”

“Hyuck,” you say with a laugh, cutting him off. “We’ll hang out more, don’t worry. Besides, we still have the 200 cc circuits to beat.” 

You watch as he smiles brightly back down at you before leaning back in, this time to kiss every inch of your face and turn you into a giggling mess. “I’ll see you soon.” He says smoothly, and then he’s finally out the door and leaving you blushing profusely because you think Haechan just admitted to enjoying being around you, too. 

A couple of Fridays later, Haechan lets himself into your dorm as casually as ever when he comes over to actually hang out with Jessica. At the sound of the door closing, Jessica walks out from her room to greet Haechan, who already had his attention occupied by the new addition to your kitchen table. “Flowers? I didn’t know you could keep things alive.” He jokes as he turns around to face Jessica. She just rolls her eyes with a laugh.

“They’re not mine. Y/n bought them, and for your information, I can actually keep flowers alive way better than she can, thank you very much.” She replies, and Haechan turns back to study the bouquet again, trying to memorize them before Jessica could catch onto his actions.

“Should’ve known y/n bought them - these aren’t the prettiest flowers by a long shot.” He says with a scoff. 

Jessica shakes her head. “You should be glad she isn’t home right now to hear you say that. The bluebells in there are her favorite flower in the world.” At this, Haechan shoots his gaze back towards Jessica.

“Really?” He asks, furrowing his eyebrows after the fact to try and cover up the genuine curiosity that painted his question. Jessica seems not to notice as she just nods her head, but that’s when you finally come in through the front door, and they both turn their attention towards you.

You didn’t know Haechan was going to be at your place right now, but you probably should’ve guessed with it being a Friday - if Mark and Jessica weren’t going on a solo date, their friend group typically hung out and bar hopped all together. Regardless of the fact that Jessica was there, you couldn’t bring yourself to put on a look of disgust once you saw Haechan. Instead, you were radiating off a sort of empty feeling - you weren’t really sad, just hollow, not concerned enough to fake-hate Haechan. You don’t say a single word in greeting as you just go to your room and start getting things ready for a shower. 

Haechan turns back to Jessica with raised eyebrows. “Where did she just come from?” He asks, wondering what the hell had you looking like that. 

“Ummmm, today’s Friday, right?” Jessica asks, then looking at the time. “She just got back from quantum mechanics.” She answers, and that seems to calm her worries - she would look dead every time she had to sit through quantum mechanics, too. On the other hand, Haechan’s hands balled into fists. He knew that class was with your dick of a professor, and he could only guess as to what disgusting things he threw your way this time that had you feeling so dirty you had to shower right away. 

Haechan wanted to barge into your room, wrap you in the biggest hug, and let you cry in the comfort of his arms, but he couldn’t - not with Jessica here. With every muscle in his body tensed up, he thought about the consequences of his actions should he go wrap you in a hug anyways, but that wouldn’t be fair to you. You were a part of whatever relationship the two of you had going on, and you both agreed that relationship stayed hidden. He couldn’t ruin that now without your consent.

Instead, he just looked back at Jessica flatly, flashing his eyebrows in recognition of the answer, and then quickly moved along. “Do you wanna head out to meet up with the guys?” He asks in return, and if there was any desperation in Haechan’s voice conveying how much he needed to get out of your dorm before he cracked, Jessica didn’t pick up on it. She nodded, grabbing her things, knocking on your door to let you know they were heading out, and then following Haechan out of the dorm.

Before you knew it, six months had passed since Haechan lost his dad, and you decided to surprise him with his favorite meal. It wasn’t like the two of you weren’t planning dinners/hangouts/hookups basically every day anyways, but you still wanted this one to be more lowkey, more intimate in an emotional, rather than physical, way, and a surprise dinner would do just that. You picked up his favorite takeout for the both of you before driving over to his place, pulling out your spare key to his house with excitement overtaking you as you walked in.

“Hey, Hyuckie. I’m here with din- Oh god.” Your face, along with the bag of food in your hands, instantly drops as you turn back from the closed door to his living area, only to notice him on top of another girl…his ex. Tears immediately sting at the back of your eyes, and you’re using everything in you to not let them fall down your face.

Haechan pops up as soon as you had started speaking, his eyes wide as he turns to look at you over his shoulder, and his body still straddled over his ex. “Y/n!” He yells out in shock.

His ex moves to prop herself up on her elbows, giving her a clear view of your frozen state at the door. Then, she rolls her eyes with a laugh. “Oh, I forgot she was the one getting my sloppy seconds.”

Your brows furrow. In any case, this could have been two friends grabbing dinner together. There was no way for her to so confidently say you were hooking up with her ex without him saying so. You face Haechan with betrayal covering your entire being. “So much for not kissing and telling, huh Haechan?” You spit out before walking back out of his place and slamming the door.

When you were finally outside, that’s when you gave yourself the chance to bawl your eyes out. You knew you wouldn’t be able to drive home safely without letting yourself cry beforehand. What sucked is that it gave Haechan time to fling the front door open. “Y/n-” He starts, grabbing your wrist to stop you from walking. You do your best to face away from him entirely, yanking your wrist out of his hand and cutting him off.

“Don’t touch me, Haechan!” You choke out, and he lets go immediately, regardless of the desperation on his face.

“Look I-”

You stop him again, his voice alone sending more tears down your face. You finally turn to him, slowing your words down so your voice doesn't crack, or at least, you tried to. “How long has it been going on?”

Haechan’s face and shoulders drop in unison. “This is the first time she’s been back over since the break up.” He replies softly.

You shake your head, none of it making sense and all of it hurting you. “Why…?” You had more of a question prepared, but that was all you could get out. You watch as Haechan sighs.

“I ran into her at a darty today. She approached me and started conversation. I tried not to involve myself in it, but she laughed and told me I was stupid for not wanting to talk to her because she said no one else will ever love me. And when I went to refute, I accidentally mentioned you. And she- she laughed again, telling me that I was dumb for thinking you would ever care for me, cause you hate me. And I couldn’t think of anything to say in response. And so then we ended up here.” The more he spoke, the more enraged you became. You shake your head in disgust.

“Fuck you!”

Haechan’s eyes widened. “What-”

You make sure to maintain eye contact with him as you begin to speak, though your words were broken up by your intense sobs. “You couldn’t think of anything to say against her point?! Who was the one washing off the makeup she made you put on? Who was the one telling you that the last thing you needed to do was cover up your stupid pretty face in the first place? Who was the one with a contact lens case in their bathroom so you could take them out and wear your glasses while you were over because you’re more comfortable in them? Who was the one you came to for comfort when you lost your dad-?”

“I went over to find Jessica!” He yells, cutting you off, but you don’t take any of it.

“But you stayed when you saw it was just me! Haechan-”

“Can you stop fucking calling me that?!” He pleads, tears now running slowly down his own cheeks. 

All you can do is shake your head again sadly. “I don’t understand how you could go through all of that with her and then go back to it. Do you know how idiotic I feel?! Sneaking around and lying to Jessica because I’m hooking up with her best friend, who everyone thinks I hate, by the way, behind her back. Being so euphoric from your touch that I want to tell the world but I can’t because you told me I couldn’t tell anyone, and I wasn’t gonna break that promise because I wanted to be able to keep seeing you- would do anything to keep seeing you. Thinking that maybe there was the smallest chance any of this was real to you, too. To be so upset over something I have no right to be upset about because you were never mine.”

“Y/n-” He says as gently as he could given both your states. You lose the courage to look him in the eye, instead dropping your gaze to the floor as you respond.

“I feel like an idiot, Haechan.” With that, you turn to get back in your car and go home, and Haechan doesn’t stop you. 

You continued to cry the entire drive back home, but you managed to stop the debilitating sobs, and instead soft, insistent tears just rolled down your face. You unlock the door to your house, your voice cracking as you announce your presence.

“I’m home.”

“Y/n-” Jessica starts excitedly, but then she sees your state and instantly panics. “-are you okay?! What happened?!” She continues, running up to where you stand defeated at the entryway.

“Is everything okay?” A male voice adds, and you sigh as your cries get more intense again.

“Mark is here. Of course Mark is here. Cause you guys are together and happy.” You say in a snarky response, and out of your peripheral, you see a frowning Mark take two steps back from the hug you and Jessica were encased in.

“Y/n, what is going on?” Jessica asks, more confused than ever because you’ve never been anything but happy for her and Mark. You shake your head rapidly in response.

“Nothing. You would hate me.”

Though your face was buried in her chest, you can sense her rolling her eyes. “I can assure you, I wouldn’t.” She states plainly, and though you knew she definitely would once she actually knew what was up, you took her words for what they were worth and your explanation tumbled out of your mouth.

“I’ve been hooking up with Haechan behind your back.”

Jessica immediately pulls away from the hug, making concerned eye contact with you instead. “WHAT?!”

Mark glances between the two of you, feeling incredibly like he was intruding, even more so because Haechan was his friend, too. “I’m uh- gonna go grab food!” He interjects before dashing out of the door behind you. With him gone, you continue with your explanation.

“For months, Jess. And we agreed not to tell anyone because it was just a friends with benefits thing, or enemies with benefits I guess. But it was more to me. It was real. I love him, Jessica.” The words just tumbled out of your mouth, but they were true, you knew so the second you said it. You loved Haechan.

Jessica looks at you with a frown. “So why the tears?” She asks gently, and you immediately drop your gaze to the floor, embarrassed, ashamed.

“I went over and unlocked his door with my spare key because we were gonna have dinner together.” You say slowly, your words finally coming out more even.

“Yeah?” Jessica probes when you had seemed to stop talking completely. You swallow hard, squeezing your eyes shut to avoid more tears from falling, but then you just spit it out.

“He was with his ex. On top of her. On the couch that knows my imprint.”

Jessica’s eyes widened impossibly. “Y/n-”

“Why the fuck would he do that, Jessica?” You practically shout, your rage finally mixing in with your sorrow.

Jessica just shakes her head, sucking on her bottom lip. “I don’t know.” She replies softly, and then she just holds you in silence until your tears finally stop and you move to lock yourself in your bedroom. 

Two days later, when there’s a knock on your door, you assume Jessica is there to try and get you to eat something again. You slump over to open your bedroom door, already preparing how to tell Jessica you still couldn’t imagine stomaching food yet, when instead, it’s Haechan’s worried gaze meeting yours. Your eyes widen, stinging with tears already, but you can’t bring yourself to close the door just yet - maybe it was the fact that he was in his glasses, goddamned skinny jeans, and a bouquet of flowers in his hand. “Y/n, it was the worst mistake of my life.” He says sincerely, and you drop your gaze to the floor.

“What? Getting together with me or her?” You ask with venom.

His response is instantaneous. “With her. Obviously!”

“You sure? You sure she doesn’t love you more than I do?” You spit back angrily, daring to look him in the eyes once again just to glare at him.

The sadness in his face neutralizes in an instant, and he stares back at you with wide eyes. “You- do you- do you love me?” He asks hesitantly in response, and the tears you’d been holding back fell freely now.

“I’m not fucking putting myself through this.” You respond defeatedly, and you immediately close the door in his face, running to bundle up in bed in a mess of tears. 

When you finally step out of your room again to grab a water bottle, you’re met with the bouquet Haechan had in his hands now laying on the counter. You walk up to it, reading the sticky note now attached. 

This was the only bouquet they had with bluebells…I know they’re your favorite. Coincidentally, one of their meanings is forgiveness (according to the flower shop guy, at least). There’s nothing I want more than your forgiveness. Y/n, I messed up so bad, I know, I’m sorry. I never should have done that. I don’t know why I did that, not when you’re everything I’ve ever wanted. I’m sorry I never made you mine when I really had the chance. I was terrified you didn’t feel for me the way I do for you, but now I know how stupid that was. You’re the only one to ever care for me the way you do, and if you decide that what I did was too terrible, just know you’ll forever be my standard…my beautiful, incomparable standard.

When Jessica walked in through the front door after grabbing lunch with Mark, she found you still standing there in the kitchen, looking down on the now tear-stained note as your body still shook with sobs. 

She walked over to the counter, silently sliding the note away from where it laid in front of you to read it herself. From your right, you hear her sigh and she’s quick to put down the note and wrap you in a hug instead. You stay crying in her arms for what you felt had to be too long, but she never said a word about it if it was. 

Your days quickly started to blur, all of them feeling the same as you would drag yourself to class and then back home, with no extra plans to ever keep you occupied or active. You were currently on the couch, sweats adorning your figure, Bones on the TV, and a pint of ice cream in your hands. You had given up on trying - no longer caring about nice outfits or makeup, hardly eating anything of actual substance. As long as you had enough energy to sit through class, you considered it a win. It was after dinner time when Jessica got back from one of her dates with Mark, closing the front door to turn around and see you as her face falls. 

“Hey…how are you?” She asks lightly, walking over to where you sat in the living room.

You don’t move your gaze away from the TV, or more so, the ice cream you were eating. “Fine. Why?” You reply monotonously, and Jessica looks at you defeatedly.

“Because sweetheart, it’s been two months and you’re still devouring pints of icecream at a time on our couch.”

“I don’t like life without him.” You spit out in reply, though your voice is weak, and the more you thought about how true the statement was, the closer you got to tears. 

Jessica reaches over to brush some of your hair back from where it covered your face, making sure the two of you could make eye contact. “I know. He feels the same way, you know?”

“You’re just saying that.” You snap back instantly, but Jessica shakes her head.

“No, I’m not. I wouldn’t do that to you. Every time I go over to his place, he looks almost exactly like you do. He keeps beating himself up, saying he should’ve stuck to his plan for your birthday, that everything would’ve worked out perfectly if he knew you at least tolerated him before he indulged in your physical attractiveness.”

This finally gets your attention, and your face fills with confusion, feeling something other than sadness for the first time in two months. “Wh- what do you mean his plan for my birthday?”

Jessica seems surprised at the question. “Oh, I thought he would’ve told you. He was gonna pick you up from class and walk you back here so he could wish you a happy birthday.” 

In an instant, all of the color drains from your face again. “Why didn’t he?”

“I don’t know. He never told me.” Jessica answers seriously, now cementing the idea you had in your mind of what happened, everything clicking into place.

You finally speak again after what felt like forever of silence, your brain going 100 miles an hour. “...Do you know where he is now?” You ask seriously, and Jessica doesn’t hide her shock at your change in behavior.

“No, but I can find out. You okay?” She asks, and you just shake your head.

“No. No, not at all.” You reply, and you’re already up off the couch, rushing to put the pint of ice cream away and change into nicer clothes as Jessica texts Haechan, who just so happened to be at home…because his daily routine practically reflected yours over the past two months.

You knock harshly on his door, pacing back and forth as you wait for him to answer, nerves coursing through your entire being. After what felt like a lifetime, the door cracks open, and all of your movements pause. At first, it’s hardly open enough to see him at all, and you gulp back your awkwardness. “What do you-” He starts quietly, but he quickly recognizes you from the tiny view he allowed himself, and suddenly the door is swung wide open. “Y/n?” 

You stare up at him, heart melting at the sight. He was in a big hoodie and wearing his glasses, making the corners of your mouth perk up in a smile. Though, the smile quickly drops as you take in the rest of his features. Jessica was right, he looked as bad as you. To be fair, he was still the most attractive man alive, but he had dark circles around his eyes, and he looked as though he hadn’t seen the sun in weeks. 

You lick your lips, which were now noticeably dry, building the courage to speak as you did so. “You were gonna pick me up from class on my birthday?”

His eyes go wide as he moves his gaze away from you for the first time since he opened the door. “I-”

“Hyuck.” You cut him off, staring up at him intently and getting him to crack with a huff of breath.

“Yeah…yeah I was. Jessica said it was your birthday. And we still weren’t friends then, but I would’ve felt bad not at least wishing you a happy birthday. So I texted Jessica to see where you were and decided I would just walk you back from class. And I-” He breaks off with a faint laugh as he recalls the memory. “I put on a pair of skinny jeans beforehand because I figured even if you hated me, you found me at least a little more tolerable in skinny jeans. Then I went to go pick you up. When you didn’t come out with the rest of your class, I went inside the lecture hall to see what was up or if I just missed you somehow. That’s when I saw you talking to your professor. That’s when I heard his comments. You weren’t even in anything close to scandalous anyways. You just dressed up for your birthday. You were pretty. That was it, so I figured it wasn’t a one-off thing. How you handled it made me think it wasn’t the first time for it to happen, either. You could barely see your wince. The same couldn’t be said for me, though. I was mad, fuming. I got out of there as soon as I could so that I’d be out of sight by the time you got out. If you saw me and started a conversation, I wouldn’t be able to stop myself from bringing it up. God, I was so angry, and I figured that wasn’t what you wanted on your birthday.” He faced the ground while he spoke, but you studied his figure the entire time, your eyes finding their home as they landed on Haechan again after all this time. You hardly let him finish his last word before you speak up.

“Tell me you want to kiss me.” You say, and Haechan finally whips his head back up to face you, eyes wide in surprise. “Tell me you want to kiss me and have it mean something outside of these walls.”

“What?!” He responds, visibly thrown off. You don’t have the patience for it.

“Hyuck!” You say, and Haechan seems to come back to the moment, nodding his head rapidly.

“I do! I want to kiss you. Always.” 

The biggest of smiles overtakes your face as you press up on your tiptoes to finally lock your lips with his again. One of his hands immediately flew to your waist, while the other placed itself lightly on the side of your face, holding you as though one harsh movement would cause this moment to break, this dream to end. When you pull back for air, Haechan wastes no time. “Y/n, please be my girlfriend. Please be mine. Please let me tell the entire world that you’re mine.” He says, his intonation practically making it a beg. 

You nod your head before digging it into his chest in a tight hug. “I’m yours.” 

#Haechan #NCT Dream #NCT 127 #Haechan fic #Haechan x reader #NCT Dream x reader #NCT 127 x reader #nct x reader #Haechan fanfic #Haechan angst #Haechan fluff #NCT #NCT Dream fic #NCT 127 fic #Lee Donghyuck

[thatbuddie]

tidbit tuesday/wip wednesday

it's technically still tuesday in new york but wednesday in many other parts of the world and the lovelies @doeeyeseddie and @sibylsleaves tagged me, so i am doing a tidbit tuesday & wip wednesday mash-up!!! here goes the beginning of my next prompt fill <333 (which is actually one that pia herself sent me!!!)

“What do you mean you don’t like kissing?”  The girl handing them their order at the coffee shop gives Buck an amused glance before moving her eyes over to Eddie and raising her eyebrows. With his cheeks bright red as a firetruck, Eddie grabs his coffee, mumbles his gratitude to her, and then spins on his heels, moving faster than Buck has ever seen him do as he heads towards the exit. Buck accepts his own drink from the barista, sends a half-sheepish half-apologetic smile her way, and follows Eddie as quickly as he can, taking advantage of the fact that, despite their height difference not being that pronounced, Buck’s legs are a lot longer than Eddie’s, allowing him to catch up with him in only a couple of seconds despite Eddie’s headstart. “Hey, Eddie, hey,” Buck says once they’re shoulder to shoulder on the sidewalk, going towards an unspecified location at a very rapid speed, like Eddie is trying to leave his embarrassment as far behind as possible. “What do you mean you don’t like kissing?”  Eddie’s cheeks redden impossibly further, the color spreading down his neck and up his ears. Buck wonders whether his skin would feel warm to the touch, whether he’d get burnt if he rested his fingertips right on Eddie’s pulse point under his jawline. Buck has to clench the fingers of his empty hand to resist the temptation find out for himself. “I didn’t say I don’t like kissing,” Eddie clarifies, his eyes shifting around like he’s making sure no one gets too close to them and hears their conversation. “I like kissing just fine, it’s… Kissing. All I said is that I’ve just never gotten the fuss about it.” 

i'm tagging @hattalove @clusterbuck @capseycartwright @bibuddie @usereddie @wh0re-behavi0r & @transboybuckley in wip wednesday if they so like to share.

#buddie #buddie fic #911 #911 fic #fic update #guess who's gonna find out how much he actually loves kissing when it's his bff that he's kissing!!!!! #i am gonna be so busy for the next 4 days so i won't have time to work on this. but my goal is to post it by sunday!!! fingers crossed i ca #make it happen!!!

[brainrot-of-a-thot]

Mamaz, could you do Nirei confessing to reader but he thinks she's not interested in him whatsoever so he starts crying and she kisses his tears away

you can be the heart that I spill on the pages [nirei a.]

you’ve been receiving anonymous love letters for close to a month now; and after an accidental slip-up, you find out they aren’t as anonymous as they first appeared.

a/n: nirei nation babes rise!! our perfect sunshine boy god I love him so much ;w; I just wanna squish his little cheeks :3 kinda went into depth here and put a twist on the req but it’s mostly still the same!

c/w: fem!reader, love letters, best friends-to-lovers trope, accidental confessions, bashful/flustered nirei, not-so-unrequited love, pining, fluff with hints of angst and hurt/comfort, some language.

side note: I know I’ve been switching up formats a lot, but I decided to put a twist on my title/summary thing and tbh, I like it better. lmk what y’all think! (ps, I was shamelessly listening to ‘perfect two’ by auburn while drafting this; that song is title inspo)

there was another one.

by now, to be quite frank, you weren’t even surprised when your fingers grazed across the smooth surface of an envelope in your bag that hadn’t been there previously. on the contrary, those grazes made your heart leap in your chest and drew butterflies to your stomach.

you glanced around furtively to assure you were safe from prying eyes before you grasped the corner of the square envelope — your original task of retrieving your lunchbox was long forgotten in favor of taking a peek at the contents of the letter.

just like all the others, the letter was secured within a colored envelope. there was no name across it aside from your own, printed in neat, tidy handwriting — the color of the envelopes varied, but were generally always a shade of red or pink, and even the letters themselves varied too; some were long and full of all the little things your admirer noticed about you, whereas others were simply short and sweet, with some even appearing to be self-crafted poems.

but one thing stayed the same — every day, for almost a month now, at some point, there was a letter slipped into your bag without fail.

with slightly shaky hands you gently opened the envelope and held your breath as you fingered out the letter; it was folded neatly in half, the edges smooth and even — it was a stark contrast to the first few letters you’d received, which appeared as though the pages had been hastily and nervously ripped from a notebook and shoved into the envelope.

every time you looked at the letters, you couldn’t help but feel warm at the apparent care and attention that went into every aspect of them.

you were just about to unfold the letter when a body fell onto the bench beside you — the subtle scent of vanilla wafted into your nose and you knew exactly who it was without looking; yet you still hurriedly rushed to stuff the letter back into your bag before he could see it.

“another love letter from your secret admirer?” your best friend, akihiko nirei, teased with a gentle bump to your shoulder. well, shit, he’d already seen it. so much for hiding it.

you whipped your head over to glare lightly at him and crossed your arms over your chest. “and if it is?” you challenged, forcing your tone to something unaffected despite the heat crawling up your neck.

nirei laughed — that sweet, warm laugh that, more recently than not, had started to sound much more alluring than before — and shrugged his shoulders.

“if it is, then it is; it wasn’t a challenge or anything.” nirei placated, and your glare softened. nirei was the only one that knew of these secret letters you received; albeit he’d found out by pure chance — naturally, nirei never actually teased you about them, other than what he’d done just moments before.

“by the way,” nirei continued, pulling his hand up and gently shoving a brown bag towards you. “I got to saboten’s just in time — these are fresh out of the oven.”

this was a common occurrence — you could even say it was a tradition, one of many that nirei and yourself had cultivated over the years; despite your schools being separated by gender, nirei consistently abused the campus’s allowance of opposite-gendered members onto the grounds during the tender period of lunch, and more often than not, he brought with him a purchase from saboten’s.

after all, it was your favorite bread bakery — and his.

you reached out to grab the bag from nirei — your fingers skimmed along his as you did so, and the brief connection sent tingles up your arm. that had been happening more recently, too; a simple, mundane touch to nirei no longer felt normal — it felt electric, like his skin was simultaneously pushing yours away and pulling it in. your cheeks flared with heat and you quickly yanked the bag out of his hand and stuffed it in your lap.

“oh, someone’s hungry!” nirei teased, thankfully mis-attributing your hastiness to hunger instead of nerves. “oh, and when I said I got there just in time, I meant it. fresh milk bread. they normally sell out of that super quick.”

you split open the bag and peered into the contents; steam wafted up from it, carrying with it the scent of warm, fresh, soft bread. your stomach nearly rumbled from it, and your tongue was quickly becoming weighed down by slobber.

you pulled out a small loaf and handed it over to nirei, exceptionally cautious about avoiding any accidental grazes, and then pulled one out for yourself. it was warm and soft in your hand, and when you took a bite out of it, you swore you ascended to heaven for a brief moment. it must have shown on your face because nirei chuckled at you, prompting you to blush.

which you hated; you never used to blush around nirei so much. oh, well, it couldn’t be helped, you supposed.

the two of you ate in companionable silence for a few minutes — that was, until nirei turned to you and cleared his throat softly, and his voice was tentative when he asked, almost nervously, “so, uh… have you ever, uhm, wondered about your secret admirer?”

you turned to face nirei quickly, heart jumping slightly in your chest. nirei had teased you lightly about your secret admirer before, but this was the first time he’d brought them up twice in the same conversation. you scrutinized your friend’s face, noting the strange look in his fidgety eyes.

“not…particularly.” you finally uttered out, slowly. liar. you wondered about them a lot. who they were, why they kept slipping notes into your bag instead of outright approaching you, what they looked like, why they even felt that way about someone like you… but you weren’t about to disclose that to nirei. he may be your best friend (that was beginning to border on something more on your side of things), but you didn’t quite trust exposing that side of yourself to anyone.

nirei’s eyes widened fractionally and became shadowed by a strange look before it was forced away. he laughed lowly and brought a hand up to rub the back of his head; a habit he indulged in when he was nervous.

“ah, yeah, of course. that was a stupid question.”

there was something… off in nirei’s tone, something that rubbed you wrong and made something heavy settle in your gut. you’d heard this tone of his before, shaky and fidgety and near uncomfortable, and it never meant anything good.

“nirei—” you started, but you were cut off when nirei jumped up from the bench abruptly and whirled around to take a look at the large clock fixed to the face of your school.

“is that really the time?” nirei asked with way too much exuberance to be natural. “I should get going! I’ll see you after school?”

you tried to call out to him, but nirei was already walking away — and, honestly, he would have gotten more distance if you hadn’t dropped your half-eaten bread back into the saboten bag and chucked it to the bench in favor of grabbing nirei’s sleeve to halt him.

nirei’s furin jacket slid almost half-way off of his body in the unexpected and sudden struggle that ensued, the boy letting out a strange, nirei-esque squawk at the turn of events.

“nirei, what’s wrong?” you demanded firmly, dead set on getting to the bottom of what had perturbed your friend and put him in this hasty state. it had started the moment he asked about your secret admirer — wait…

could it be…?

you’d always heard that the universe worked in mysterious ways; that, sometimes, it took pity on those within it, and that, just sometimes — when you unwittingly asked, you received.

a notebook slipped from nirei’s inside pocket and fell to the pavement with a soft thud. it was a freak coincidence; one that, upon some retrospection, you imagined could never truly be repeated. the notebook had fallen right at your feet, splayed open to a most random page — but when you released nirei’s jacket and leaned down to grab it, you were struck numb by the words on the page.

...𝓎𝑜𝓊𝓇 𝓈𝓂𝒾𝓁𝑒 𝒸𝑜𝓊𝓁𝒹 𝓈𝒽𝒾𝓃𝑒 𝓁𝒾𝑔𝒷𝓉 𝒶𝒸𝓇𝑜𝓈𝓈 𝓂𝓊𝓁𝓉𝒾𝓅𝓁𝑒 𝑔𝒶𝓁𝒶𝓍𝒾𝑒𝓈. 𝒾𝓉 𝒸𝑜𝓊𝓁𝒹 𝒷𝓇𝒾𝓃𝑔 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝓈𝓊𝓃 𝓉𝑜 𝒾𝓉𝓈 𝓀𝓃𝑒𝑒𝓈. 𝒾𝓉'𝓈 𝑒𝓉𝒸𝒽𝑒𝒹 𝑜𝓃𝓉𝑜 𝓂𝓎 𝑒𝓎𝑒𝓈 𝒻𝑜𝓇𝑒𝓋𝑒𝓇 𝓂𝑜𝓇𝑒, 𝒶 𝓋𝒾𝓈𝒾𝑜𝓃 𝑜𝒻 𝓅𝑒𝓇𝒻𝑒𝒸𝓉𝒾𝑜𝓃...

your heart constricted in your chest — the handwriting, the wording, everything about the page staring up at you… was a near mirror-image of every letter you’d ever received.

you grasped the notebook with shaky hands and leaned up — with trembling fingers your leafed through the pages; ink littered within every line, creating a tome of sweet, loving words dedicated to you…

you glanced up at nirei — he was completely still, eyes wide and glued to the notebook in your hands. his hazelnut eyes glistened wetly with tears, every part of his exposed skin flushed. his bottom lip wobbled waveringly. he looked absolutely mortified.

“you… you weren’t supposed to ever see that…” nirei croaked out, body trembling badly — you wanted to reach out and comfort him, but you couldn’t move either; your brain was too busy computing the new information.

nirei… was your secret admirer? he’s the one who’s been writing all of those letters and poems? slipping them into your bag when you were unawares?

it would make a lot more sense that way; nirei and yourself were near inseparable, and out of everyone, he had the most opportunity to do so without getting caught.

but that would mean… that nirei… nirei was…

“nirei,” you finally found your voice, but it felt like a struggle to get it past the lump in your throat. you’d captured his attention; but now you weren’t sure what to say — or how to say it. your heart felt like it was either going to jump into your throat or shove its way down to your stomach, and your skin felt fluttery, tingly, as if a million tiny sparks were skirting across it.

“are you… are you in love with me?”

nirei’s eyes widened and the tears he’d tried to keep from falling slid down his cheeks. you weren’t even sure why he was crying — was he that embarrassed? or… was he ashamed?

“I… I am… I’m sorry.” nirei finally croaked out, his voice thick and wet. your heart felt as if it was trying to do somersaults right now, and there was this light, airy feeling in your chest — was it happiness, pity, or disbelief? or was it all three?

“I— I wanted to tell you,” nirei spluttered out, as if his earlier confession had broken some sort of dam in his throat. “I really, really did. but I was scared. I-I… I didn’t know how to say it. I had all these feelings inside that I didn’t know what to do with, s-so I wrote them down. and I kept writing and writing until — until it just wasn’t enough anymore.”

nirei’s words were interrupted by a wet hiccup, and he shoved his palms into his eyes and rubbed before continuing, words dropping like an unstoppable river. “I wanted you to hear them. I wanted you to know how I felt about you. but I just… I c-couldn’t let you know it was me — because if I did, then you’d surely—”

you didn’t let nirei finish. with movements faster than your mind could perceive you rushed forward and gathered nirei into your arms, breathing in the scent of vanilla and bread, of the subtle undertones of paper and laundry detergent — the scent that was so irrevocably nirei — and buried your nose into his shoulder. your own eyes were hot, stinging with moisture for a reason you didn’t know.

“you know, reading those letter always made me feel guilty.” you admitted, receiving a shocked and somewhat confused noise from nirei in question. “I felt guilty because I liked all of those words. it made me feel good to read them. I felt seen and understood. wanted. but… I felt guilty because I knew I would never be able to return my admirer’s love…”

nirei’s shoulders were trembling and rocking from the effort of holding back sobs — you knew what it sounded like to him right now, knew what your embrace must feel like, knew his heart was probably breaking.

“I couldn’t return their feelings because… because someone else has my heart.”

here it comes. you knew without a doubt that you wouldn’t be rejected — nirei’s confession alone proved that. and yet, you were still trembling with nerves. you squeezed your arms around nirei’s ribs just a little tighter. an anchor.

“I’ve always heard that the universe has a strange sense of humor. I just didn’t realize how strange it truly was — not until now.”

this time, you pulled away — you had to look nirei in the eyes when you said this. he had to hear it in its entirety; he had to feel it to his very bones. his hazelnut eyes were still wet, but were no longer dropping tears. he was watching you expectantly, if not a little hesitantly. you smiled at him. soft and reassuring.

“here I’ve been feeling all this guilt for no reason; because the one who has my heart just happens to be my secret admirer.”

it seemed to take a millennia for your words to sink into nirei — or maybe it just took him a while to convince himself this wasn’t some sort of dream.

“y-you… you love me too?” nirei asked shakily, his voice quiet and thick. you nodded. you nodded and linked your hands together in front of you. it felt good to say that; but you were highly embarrassed too. embarrassed by the fact that you’d imagined this same scenario so many times through the day — you’d never entertained that it would ever be more than a daydream.

and yet here you were.

“but… why?” nirei asked, and you couldn’t help but balk slightly; and beat back the urge to laugh.

“I could ask you the same thing.” you snapped back — now things were starting to feel normal. that tense, highly emotional atmosphere had melted into one you were used to; the one that you and nirei had cultivated around each other. natural. comfortable. right.

“that’s kind of a stupid question.” nirei piped back, grin slowly replacing his mortified grimace. you grinned back, your heart thumping wildly in your chest. you didn’t exactly feel nervous anymore… so why was your heart acting this way?

“you just answered your own question, then.” you teased, and nirei let out a small, wet laugh.

“I suppose I did… and, you’re not… pulling my leg right now, right?” nirei asked, sheepishly, and you rolled your eyes.

“if I was just pulling your leg, would I do this?”

you didn’t give nirei the chance to inquire about your motives before you surged forward and connected your lips with his.

it was chaste and lacked any movement; nirei was stunned still once more and you didn’t have any experience in kissing so you simply let your lips rest there against his for a few seconds before you pulled away slowly.

nirei’s face was beet red but his lips were pulled into a goofy, satisfied sort of lopsided smile. those glistening tears were no where to be found. his eyes still swirled with doubt, so you took his hand in yours.

“I don’t want you to send any letters anymore, nirei.” you murmured softly, stroking the skin on the back of his hand with your thumb. “from now on, I want to hear you say those words to me ‘kay?”

nirei seemed to fumble for a moment before he swallowed and nodded. “uhm, yeah, o-of course. I’ll… I’ll try my best!”

and you knew he would. nirei always did. and if the bell signaling the resume of class had rung a few minutes later with you no where to be seen on campus — well, that was just the universe’s strange sense of humor at work.

have I made some of you fall in love with nirei? (*＾3＾）/～☆

#wind breaker #wind breaker x reader #nirei akihiko x reader #akihiko nirei x reader #nirei x reader

[treedaddymcpuffpuff]

Excessive Force : Tom Ludlow x Fem Nurse Reader (COLLAB W/ THE INCREDIBLE @johnwickb1tsch) - Chapter One Two Three Four Five Six Seven Eight Nine Ten Eleven Twelve Thirteen Fourteen Fifteen Sixteen Seventeen

TW: nsfw, angst

You wake up to the smell of bacon, coffee, and something sweet in the skillet.

Usually such a thing would mean you are dreaming, and you need to wake your ass up before you’re late for work. But you roll over to look into your tiny kitchen, finding a sight fit for Playgirl Magazine before your disbelieving eyes.

Dear Penthouse, I can’t believe this actually happened to me…

Detective Tom Ludlow is in your kitchen, making pancakes…in nothing but a towel around his trim waist. His dark hair is combed back, still wet from the shower. His broad shoulders are something to write home about–Kansas farm boys had nothing on this beautiful specimen of masculinity.

Had the night before even been real?

As though he senses your return to consciousness–or maybe the weight of your gawker’s stare upon him–he turns to look at you. “Morning, beautiful.”

You blink with surprise, because he is talking to you.

“Hi,” you greet, clever as ever, and goddammit but are you blushing?

“Whacha looking at?” he teases, spatula in hand. The very picture of domestic bliss. God help you, but in that moment you were 300 percent ready to put a ring on this man.

“Just…the most best thing I’ve ever seen,” you admit, knowing you’ll kick yourself for it later.

However, the smile he pays you, smug yet somehow gentle–it fries your brain entirely.

“Likewise, sweetheart.” He crosses the short space with a few long strides to press his lips to yours. “You like pancakes with blueberries?”

You’d bought the ingredients–and promptly stuck them in the cupboards–for just such a purpose, thinking that someday, when you had time, and weren’t bone fucking tired from working 12 hour shifts days in a row, you’d make a point to treat yourself.

Funny, how that never happened, until Tom Ludlow came around.

Here you are, getting emotional about blueberry fucking pancakes.

“Yes,” is the only answer you can muster, and he kisses you so sweetly that it curls your toes.

His soft smile down at you will be the death of you. “Sleep well?”

“Like a well-fucked rock,” you tell him, winning a bark of masculine laughter. 

“Likewise, beautiful. Definitely likewise.” He vacates the couch to flip his pancake. You continue to stare, still dumbfounded.

“Tom?” you ask, still struggling to wake up.

“Yeah, baby?”

“Did last night…actually happen?”

“Sure did. Don’t you remember driving to Vegas? We got the best Elvis in the building.”

You blink stupidly for a few moments, before registering his absolutely shit-eating grin.

“Very funny. And the joke would be on you, if you married me on a drunken lark.”

“Why?” he asks, seemingly amused by your discomfort.

“I told you. I’m a fucking mess.”

“Far as I can tell? You’re fucking perfect, and I’ll fight anyone who says otherwise.” 

You’re not really sure why this pithy little compliment brings tears to your eyes, your lip quivering. Only a beat later does he notice, and he rushes over again.

“Hey, hey, no crying, baby, I’m sorry. What’s wrong? I was just joking.”

You swipe at your eyes with the heels of your hands, embarrassed. “You’re just..so sweet, and I actually fucking believe you, when you say this shit, ok?”

He blinks, but god bless, it only takes him a moment to assess, and act. He presses his soft lips to yours, then his forehead to your forehead, as though he can will you to accept his declarations through osmosis. “Believe it,” he tells you. “It’s true…well. Not the Elvis bit. We can do that next weekend if you want.”

You know he’s joking…but it still doesn’t fail to utterly melt your insides. This man who manhandled and harrassed you has turned out to be the biggest fucking softy, and you just might lose your shit.

You’ve already cried in front of him too many times, though, so you play it off and act like what he’s saying is no big deal. “Really? I think I’d rather have Michael Jackson instead.” 

You wonder if he misses being married. If he fucked his wife like he’d fucked you last night…you can’t fathom stepping out on him. But then you also know, that sometimes cops can also be married to their jobs. It could make for a difficult threesome. You imagine going without him, while he was working an intense case, would be absolute hell.

Tom snorts. “Whatever floats my lady’s boat,” he answers, flipping another pancake onto the stack. He ports them to the table with a flourish. “Come eat, sweet girl. You gotta work today?”

“Later. Unfortunately.”

He sticks his full lip out in a pout that should be illegal on a grown ass man. “Then eat quickly, because I’m not done with you yet.” he informs you with a wicked smirk that causes a brand new flood between your already sticky thighs. 

He turns, that broad, tapered back on full display, to finish plating breakfast, and you can’t not watch the tight muscle in his butt shift in the thin towel. You get this sudden strange urge to sink your teeth into him and latch on, and wonder if ancient cavewomen bit their partners to lay claims. Because that’s what Tom Ludlow works on—the part of your spongy brain that developed before speech and theory—the part that wants to bite and howl. 

Evolution is a bitch. 

Oh no, he can cook. And cook good. The pancakes he sets in front of you, drizzled with honey and topped with fresh blueberries, taste like a fluffy heaven in your mouth. Even the coffee is splendid, done up blonde and sugary just the way you prefer. “Tom, damn,” you compliment between mouthfuls. “You went out to get blueberries?” It’s selfish, but the thought of him leaving you alone even to run out and grab something for you makes your insides twist uncomfortably. 

“Oh, no, I borrowed some from your neighbor.” 

Of course at that moment you have an entire mouthful of coffee that you almost spray on his bare, beautiful chest. “What?!” 

He adopts a bemused smile. “Very nice lady.”

“Please tell me you had more than just a towel on?” 

“Less, actually.” 

He bursts into laughter and the astonished look on your face. 

“I’m gonna kick your ass, Ludlow.” 

“She asked me something really interesting.” He wipes a little honey off your top lip and sucks it into his mouth, making you dumb enough to forget you’re annoyed. “She asked me if I’m the nightmare?” 

“I have no idea what she’s talking about.”

“You are a terrible little liar, you know that? I can see your tell from a mile away.” 

“Oh, what is it?” You smirk, shove a bite of pancake into your mouth. 

“You’re lucky I’m hungry,” he threatens, playful and promising, sending a thrill through your chest. 

You grab a glob of honey on your finger and kitten lick it off, almost bold enough to make direct eye contact with him for more than five seconds while you’re doing it. “Or what?” 

He pops up from his seat, and your first instinct is run. Run away. You make it two steps before he has you grabbed around the waist and is dragging you back to his place at the table. 

Your squeals of nervous laughter crescendo into a moan when he pulls you down onto his big cock. It surprises you as much as it did last night, how well he fills and stretches you. Not a piece of your fluttery hole unpunished by his silky, maddening pressure. You immediately grind, eager for that pressure to shift and rub and build you, but he stills you with a mitt on your waist. 

Then his big hands bunch in the ruffled fabric of your sundress, which somehow you never managed to remove amidst both of your eagerness to get to other parts of you instead. Slowly he draws it up over your head, tossing it away somewhere across the room. Before you can even begin to think about feeling self conscious he makes a low sound of appreciation behind you, running his hands down your curves. 

“So fucking beautiful. I just wanna stay inside this pretty little pussy all day,” he tells you, smoothing his wet tongue across your shoulder. You arch into him, and he nips your skin for the retaliation. “Feel her throb while I tell you what I wanna do to her. Jesus, you’re soaked.” 

You try to squeeze your thighs together for precious friction on your clit, but he tugs them back open, chuckling at the pathetic attempt. “You wanna fuck yourself, baby?”

“Yes. Fu-uhck.” 

“Want me to pet that pretty clit while you ride me?” He kisses up your neck, into your hairline, tugs your ear between his teeth and you see white fire. 

“Yes, Tom. Yes. Please.” 

“Then eat your breakfast.” 

It’s impossible to focus on the delicious food anymore. The chunks of stuff getting forked into your mouth are no match for the small taste of him. It isn’t long before he’s done with silverware and hand feeding you, making you lick and suck his sticky fingers clean. 

“Atta girl. Keeping me all warm and cozy.” His mouth traces circles on your upper back that make you twitch and gasp while his heavy pointer and index finger rest on your tongue, sweet and salty-pleasure and pain-the desire to move trumping all of it. 

When his fingers trail up your side and land on your nipple, rolling and pinching, you clench your thighs shut again. He grunts at you, although you think it was meant to be a sound of disapproval before you clenched deliberately on his cock. 

“You want to cum?” 

“Yessss.” 

“Then open your legs back up.” 

You obey with a groan of frustration, widening your hips so that the tantalizing pressure is off your throbbing clit. That means all you can focus on is having him inside you, and that would be great if he would just fucking thrust. 

Knock. Knock. Knock.

He grabs your hips to hold you in place. “You’re busy.” 

“Could be important,” you say. 

“More important than this?” He grinds up, into your cervix, into all the sensitive soaked walls of your cunt, and the answer to his question is no. Absolutely not. There is nothing more important than him or his cock. 

“Tom,” you hiss. 

He sighs. “Alright. I’ll get it. Get dressed.” 

How empty you feel, when you slide off of his cock as you stand on trembling legs. He halts your progress by gripping your hips, pressing his mouth to the curve of your buttocks. You forget about the door, and everything else, turning in his arms so that he can bury his face in your cleavage. “These beautiful–” He kisses one breast cupped in his hand, “Naughty,” a kiss for the other, just beside your nipple, the tease, “titties are in so much trouble.” He sucks on your perked nipple with a pop, making you cry out. 

Knock knock knock.

“Someone’s fucking determined,” he grumbles against your skin. 

Reluctantly you manage to pull away from him, and you remember this state of the art technology in your door called a peephole. Naked as a jaybird, you peer through the tiny lens–and gasp at the sight on the other side.

This clearly interests Tom, his head canting at an angle in question. You shake your head, just knowing a perfect storm is brewing. “It’s no one. Ignore it,” you say quietly, hoping they don’t hear you on the other side, praying they have the sense to go away. You try to distract Tom again with kisses and by trying to pull him towards the bedroom, but dammit this man is solid as a fucking tree when he doesn’t want to move.

“Who is it?” he asks with a lifted brow.

Knock knock. “Y/n? I know you’re home.”

Goddammit.

What can only be described as a wicked grin spreads over Tom’s handsome features. “Oh. Let’s say hello, shall we?” 

#tom ludlow x reader #keanuverse fic #keanuverse

[epiphainie]

I completely agree with you in that there are many bad faith interpretations of tommy and buck and tommy’s relationship. I don’t know if this one I’m about to share would necessarily be a bad faith interpretation but I’d like your take on it. In the scene where buck comes out to eddie, eddie says to buck “this changes nothing between us” and buck responds with something along the lines of “uh good, that’s a relief”. I’ve seen a lot of people interpret buck’s facial expressions as not showing just relief but relief mixed disappointment because a part of buck wanted things to change between them, in the romantic sense, he just doesn’t realize it. I do agree that buck’s expression as he says the words is interesting but I don’t personally think it has anything to do with him harbouring romantic feelings for eddie. for me it felt like one of those moments where you dread the reaction for so long, that when you finally face the thing and open up, even if the other person’s reaction is positive, it takes a minute for you to really internalise it and let yourself believe it.

Another moment that people often talk about from this scene is reaction to buck saying he can’t stop thinking about tommy. People often say eddie’s facial expression shows some sort of disappointment but again, I don’t know if that’s it? again, it is an interesting expression so I get why people would pause and focus for a minute but to me, it reads as eddie searching for a moment to give his honest advice to buck in the scenario.

Anyway, I’d love your thoughts on those particular moments and how you see them. Again, I’m not saying that the interpretations people are making of that scene in relation to buddie are necessarily in bad faith. I know it’s fun to analyze and interpret scenes in ways that you enjoy and I’d never want people to stop doing that. I just feel like Oliver and Tim have been very clear in that they do not want to tell a story where a guy comes out and is in love with his best friend and if buck was truly disappointed in hearing eddie say nothing’s going to change between them post buck’s coming out, that would be a quite bold contradiction.

Hi anon!

I'm not sure if you actually meant to send this to me because I'm kind of the exact opposite of a person who engages in the practice of reverse-engineering actors' faces to find deep secret meanings that doesn't actually exist in the script. I think it's a slippery slop of a fan practice where if you go "haha he looks jealous here" and want to make it gay in your fantasy world and are capable of compartmentalizing that from the actual text, it's great! If you look at it like it's subtext that is meant to one day come to surface, as some sort of proof that this is not the actual story, you're either too deep in your world that you treat these characters like they have agencies and thoughts and feelings and are not, yknow, fictional - or that actors are making the conscious choice to layer their performances with breadcrumbs for a plot that doesn't exist at the time.

I've seen all these arguments with almost every scene this season. Eddie's face when Tommy enters the bachelor party. Buck's face when Bobby says Tommy is good for him. Bobby's face when he says Tommy is good for Buck. Eddie's smile when they enter the hospital room. Most of these are insignificant and the others have in-text explanation (Yeah, Bobby smiles weirdly in that scene. Guess what, he's kind of planning to kill himself). And like I said, if people want to read these in a pro-Buddie sense and go do fandom stuff with it, that's great. But we all know this fandom is taken over by the question of "will Buck and Eddie happen?" so everyone who's not even doing this in bad faith (I don't think all do) are looking at it in "does this support canon romantic Buddie?" lenses. So much of shipping Buddie is about speculating for the next episode, next season, next whatever that I think it's so easy to find yourself on that slippery slop where you fit every shot, face, editing choice to your interpretation. There's also the sunk cost fallacy at play here - once you do it for so long, it's hard to give up on the belief that it'll happen.

I think both Oliver and Ryan great actors - and that scene is one of my favorites in the season - but no, I don't think there's more to their faces than what they're given to play. Which is as all of them mentioned a billion times, a scene of a guy nervously coming out as queer to his best friend and receiving support. If I'm wrong and the rest of this fandom is right and the production/writers/showrunners are actually fully married to the idea of canon romantic Buddie but The Powers That Be are keeping gay Eddie in the closet as if he's a real person and they're the evil step-mother, and come S10 Buck realizes he's been in love with his bff all along, then yeah in-text, that would recontextualize all their performances. It still wouldn't change what the writers' intention has been with the text as it exists today or be proof that Oliver and Ryan are making acting choices for a hypothetical future SL.

#couldn't fit this in my answer but it's kind of bewildering to me how much of shipping in this fandom is about whether they'll become canon #i mean look at ao3 one of every three fics is a spec fic or a coda #ive been in many fandoms like fandoms with infamous queerbaiting and i dont remember the fandom practice being so solely dedicated to #whether the ship will become canon #instead of like this is kinda gay in the text well i will make it REALLY GAY in my fanfiction and having fun #also 'you' used as universal you here nonnie i agree with you #mimi talks #anti buddie #bucktommy #911

[suffersinfandom]

Heyo, @nidmightcookies! This is my response to your reply on Atticus' post over here -- I didn't want to take away from the message of that post or the additions from other POC.

Sidenote: I'm extremely white and have no credentials that make me qualified to talk about race (I'm just a person who reads and tries to listen), and my takes are probably going to show that. That's another reason I didn't want to clutter up the original post with my reply.

In response to this

“Why is it racist to depict Ed as uncontrollably violent?  Because he's not actually depicted that way in the show.”

you talk about Ed baiting the crew to murder him and committing other violent acts. The original point is stating that Ed is not depicted as uncontrollably violent in the show, not claiming that he perpetrated no violence full stop. Yes, Ed does violence. No, he is not uncontrollably violent.

What Ed does is purposeful, not uncontrollable. He doesn’t push Lucius off the ship after he gives up all hope because he’s a violent guy who just does stuff like that, and the mutiny situation in S2E2… as allthinky said in a response, “that’s Ed at the end of his rope,” not him being uncontrollably violent. He’d been working towards suicide ever since he started baiting Low. As a backup plan, he’s been working the crew hard, disregarding their well-being, and being an overall awful boss in an attempt to incite a mutiny. 

Yes, he was “a serious, immediate threat to his crew” by the time he was out of other ideas to make someone take him out. Ed commits acts of violence -- I don’t think I’ve seen anyone claim he doesn’t -- but he always does so with some amount of reason (not necessarily good reasons) and control. 

“Upon reflection, my biggest issue may be with the people who argue that Ed's never been shown to be violent, or that any time he has resorted to violence, he's absolved of blame by the fact that someone was mean to him first. Which... I don't think I've seen you make either of those arguments at any point in the past.”

I’m really glad that you mentioned that OP hadn’t made either of those arguments (that you know of), that was genuinely very cool. As for the rest of it, I don’t believe I’ve seen anyone say that Ed is “never shown to be violent” or that he can always be “absolved of the blame” unless you want to remove all of the nuance from common talking points. 

He is never shown to be more violent than the average pirate and, due to his deep-seated trauma relating to his own capacity for violence, he’s actually on the less violent end of the pirate spectrum. He can’t be absolved of all blame for his actions because he’s a grown man who makes his own choices (and saying otherwise robs him of his agency). What I’ve seen said is that Ed’s actions are informed by things like trauma, abuse, and racism. His actions make sense. They’re not spontaneous violence committed because Ed flies into rages and homicidal spirals out of the blue.

“Not saying we shouldn't consider it [that is, are we “assigning more weight to Ed's violent actions than those of other characters or assuming he's worse than he actually is”], but I mean. If a white character on the show had cut off his employee's toes and fed them to him, shot him in the leg, ordered his death, held a gun on his other subordinates, marooned some/tossed one overboard, threatened to drown the ones that remained... because he was pushed into it, with the same combination of abusive childhood/hostile work environment... would he be equally deserving of that consideration? Would it be an overreaction to call him dangerous?”

Probably, but if everything was the same except Ed Is White Now, his baggage and his relationship with Izzy wouldn’t be exactly the same. Ed's race isn’t inconsequential. We can't really remove race from the story and end up with the same character, y'know?

Also: I do think it’s inappropriate to turn this question back on POC. I don’t think that POC are obligated to reconsider biases against a white character.

“Izzy is crew”

Ed’s relationship to Izzy is not comparable to his relationship with the crew. The crew have done nothing wrong and haven’t behaved antagonistically towards Ed. Izzy and Ed have a complicated, toxic, and difficult relationship (regardless of where you stand on whether or not Izzy’s abusive), therefore any harm caused to Izzy has to be considered differently than harm caused to the rest of the crew.

“Even if we say that he doesn't count, Ed still pushed Lucius off the ship.”

Yes, Ed did do that, but I think that Atticus is talking about Ed’s S2 actions in that point, not what happened in S1. Most (I think all?) meta I’ve read does consider Ed pushing Lucius off the ship an act of violence that Lucius himself did nothing to provoke. 

This might be controversial, but I’d put Ed pushing Lucius overboard on par with, like, a particularly unjust firing in a workplace that isn’t a pirate vessel. When we watch OFMD, we have to adjust our physical violence meters to account for the fact that we’re dealing with an environment that’s full of physical violence.

“Also, emotional abuse directed at the rest of the crew is still abuse”

I don't consider Ed emotionally abusive. He works the crew hard. He’s a terrible boss who doesn’t give his employees vacation days or paid time off and then throws them a sad pizza party. That sucks, it’s not okay, and his final death spiral in S2E2 is terrible and he never should have involved the crew in that. 

Abuse is a pattern of behavior that’s meant to control people. Not all harm is abuse. When I say that Ed isn't abusive, I'm not saying that he didn't hurt people.

“So... I was raised by a physically and psychologically abusive parent. I get that Ed's been hurt, is still hurting, and why. The "why" doesn't matter for the question of "did he or didn't he", though. It may or may not be his fault, he may or may not have done it because he felt unsafe. The point is, his actions did hurt people.”

Same, friend, and I'm sorry you went through that. (That’s actually one of the reasons I’ve always been wary of Izzy. What he says and does in S1 is too familiar to me, sometimes to a point where I can’t watch certain scenes.) I don’t think anyone’s saying that Ed isn’t hurting anyone, or that all of his actions can be attributed to abuse. If that’s not what you’re getting at here, apologies for misunderstanding.

“His boss that he was trying to control was brown.  Was that a factor in his power play though, or was it because Taika wound up being cast as Blackbeard? Any other (white) actor in the role, would Izzy be as bad for trying to control him? Would the scripts have gone a different way?”

Here’s the thing. In the show we have, Blackbeard is played by a Maori/Jewish man, and this fundamentally alters the character. There are things in the show -- whole episodes, if you want to look at S1E5 and the fancy party guests who treat Ed like exotic entertainment and not a peer -- that wouldn’t be the same if Ed was white. 

And yeah, Ed being brown changes the dynamic between Ed and Izzy. It would still be bad if a white guy was trying to control another white guy, but it wouldn’t be bad on the same level. Same goes if they were both brown. A white man trying to control the behavior of an indigenous man is worse.

“Izzy got permanently disfigured, crippled, and dead, while Ed came out largely unscathed in a physical sense, due to Muppet logic. Not to say one is more deserving than the other, but for a bunch of fans, there's probably a sense of Izzy getting the short end of the stick, to consider.”

That’s fine if some people feel like Izzy got the short end of the stick. It’s fine that some people feel like Izzy’s arc was kinder to him than it should have been. It’s okay to feel whatever! We connect emotionally to different characters and that biases our opinions and meta. That’s not a crime. We just need to be aware of our biases and why they exist.

The thing with OFMD is that Ed is a main character with more background and a story that, at every turn, asks you to sympathize with him. We’re given a look into Ed’s psyche. We understand at least some of his trauma and hurt and why he acts the way he does. Izzy has virtually no backstory and we’re never offered a glimpse into his mind; we don’t know why he’s like that. You can totally like a secondary character (or even an antagonist!) with no real canonical background or mental groundwork. It’s fun to ask why characters do what they do when canon doesn’t offer us any answers, and who doesn’t love a mystery box? 

But with OFMD, it can raise eyebrows when people say their main concern is the suffering of a white man who behaves antagonistically towards a brown man, especially when that brown character is a well-developed lead who also suffers (and suffers at the hands of aforementioned white character). It’s not inherently racist for someone to care more about Izzy than Ed, but it’s also not unreasonable to ask that someone to think about the possibility that subconscious racism could be factoring into their point of view.

“I don't think it's fair discussion to have a rule saying ‘even though you didn't directly call out the brown man, your argument is still racist’... even if it's true in many cases, it effectively means that no criticism of the character can ever be considered valid. If someone wants to argue ‘removing your employee's toes and feeding them to him is abusive behavior’, they can't, because of the unspoken skin colors involved? I don't know what the solution to this is.”

No one is saying that all criticism of a character of color is racist or invalid. As allthinky said in response, we’re saying that “those critiques have to be based on real evidence, and placed in a careful context, so that their actions can be understood as human, and not just the brutality of some brute.”

Criticize, but criticize with evidence and with awareness of the context of the criticized behavior. 

With the Izzy example, you have to consider the context of their relationship and Izzy’s actions throughout S1. Izzy isn’t just an employee: he’s a trusted second-in-command who has been insulting, controlling, and disloyal; he endangered not just Stede but also Ed and the rest of the crew; he told Ed that he was better off dead than acting as he was, and that Izzy's loyalty belongs to the violent worksona that Ed wants to shed. Is Ed being abusive when he’s reacting in response to abuse from his abuser? 

“[T]he show has layers (like an onion). Sometimes the meaning is not entirely surface-level, and everyone has a different level of comprehension. Sometimes obvious things to us aren't obvious to other fans/vice-versa. There's a whole 'nother discussion of media literacy to be had.”

I think that Atticus said it best here: “This is not a subtle show. That's not to say it's a simple one [...]. It's amazingly layered and emotional responses by characters are often extremely complex. However, when the show is trying to tell you something, it's not subtle and it never tries to hide it.”

There are a lot of things in OFMD that are subjective and open to interpretation, and those things are fun to discuss even when we have different takes. There are also a lot of things that are very clear. When people try to subvert the messages and ideas that OFMD is conveying loudly and openly, other fans get suspicious and wonder if the folks doing the subverting have an agenda, a bias, or just misunderstand what the show is saying.

I hope that reply was sufficient!

#ofmd #edward teach #the izzy problem #hey what tags do people have blocked if they don't want to see stuff like this? #ofmd discourse #fandom racism

[iron-embers]

Your art on rule 34 🤡

Oh no, what a nightmare....

Not!

We all know you are the same troll that makes millions of sub accounts just to harass people as if that would work, but this is just laughable that you are trying and failing to taunt me as if this will hurt me in anyway. Congrats, you played yourself. The sheer stupidity of you committing art theft and showing your account on that degenerate site just shows how dumb you are. Did you honestly think I would be offended by you giving me evidence of your troll account which shows all your mental illness in one go. I mean, you gave me free advertisement which is a small plus but really I'm cackling at how pathetic you look doing this, thinking you have an ounce of power. As if you are to be feared just cuz you stole people’s art and twisted it.

Get out if your lil power trip, get some mental help, and maybe people will actually respect you. Cuz the only thing you're succeeding at in life is bringing people together that aren't toxic like you and they all despise the bullshit you're doing I literally could care less about your tantrums, real adults wouldn’t waste their time with a pathetic degenerate like you, but I’m responding only because you have shown yourself for the true psycho you are. I've seen all the stupid shit you have been pulling at some sad attempt for attention, I feel bad for the people that get hurt but wow, talk about you exposing yourself as the lil arrogant dumbass you are. I'm not even involved and I've seen all the racial slurs you've been throwing around, saying everyone that supports the people you don't like are white and racist, fun fact dumbass-

I'm a person of color, I'm Hispanic and as such seeing you trying to represent this is disgusting. I do not advertise my race because unlike you Race does not define my being, I do not judge people based on race, I form mutual respect with others that show me that same respect as a person. Race doesn’t mean shit when you are mental case trying to cause problems where there are none. I’ve already seen you reach out to multiple people to try and taunt them with false accusations, and the sheer fact you are racially profiling everyone based on art is even more racist in itself. I'm not even inolved in whatever drama your pulling, but you pulling the victim card just cuz you are a person of color is despicable, and you have the audacity to falsely claim I'm white is incredibly racist. Being white isn’t insulting, so what of the color of your skin. The people you insult are wonderful people we enjoy interacting with, and you are not and that has nothing to do with the color of your skin. I could be like you and be all "Oh boo hoo, are you scared of colored people, show more representation?!". But We are better than that, and left wondering what the actual hell is wrong with you. People are people no matter what race, and what you have shown is you are not deserving of being called equal if you don't have the human decency to treat others with respect. This is a place for people to enjoy their own lil piece of obsession, but you have taken it too far. One day I hope you go get the help you need, but seeing as how desperate you are for any shred of attention, you are beyond help. And as such your behavior does not deserve an ounce of attention.

People ignoring your stupidity isn't out of fear, it's the mercy they are giving you because why Grace stupidity with a response. You are pushing people to that point where they will no longer be tolerant to your Bs and I can promise you that will never get what you want. Take the hint, cut it out, and if you are just so offended by everyone here, then leave. People have better things to do in life, and you should probably put this ridiculous obsession into something more positive and productive. It makes you look an utter fool.

All of us will continue making what we love while you rot in your lil troll corner, with no courage to actually talk things out like an adult and the evil in your heart to try and fail to make everyone miserable. Imma keep laughing from your stupidity as I keep making what I love. If you wanna keep harassing, lying, and stealing art, go ahead and dig your own grave. Go ahead and give people more reasons to dislike you, I found this hilarious.

Let this be a post for those being harassed by this lil psycho or do not condone this idiocy, keep doing the amazing art and create without feeling as if twisted people have the power to ruin it. Cuz trolls don’t have any power over what you make and like, they will try but fail because they wish they had this confidence to being a respectful member of this fandom. Keep reporting them, keep blocking them, keep showing them that their degeneracy will get them nowhere. There are many of us that love and respect one another, and there is only one miserable ingrate that has nothing better to do than stir up trouble. Don’t let this troll ruin your fun just cuz they are a jealous idiot. They wanna throw around the retard insults at others, get a mirror troll, cuz this just shows how much of a retard YOU are.

#demon slayer #kny #kimetsu no yaiba #demon slayer blog #demon slayer art #demon slayer oc #demon slayer original character #hantengu drama #hantengu simp troll #demon slayer hantengu clones #hantengu urogi #hantengu demon slayer #kimetsu no yaiba hantengu #hantengu #hantengu clones #demon slayer hantengu #kny hantengu #look at this lil idiot #reblog #signal boost #ask #this here is what stupid looks like #drama #asks #troll #trolls #harrassment #toxic people #solidarity #demonslayer

[wedielike]

Requested by @hernandofuentes - oyeicher's first date!

Read on AO3 or:

Oyei hadn’t ever been on a real first date, at least not with a guy, he realized as he gazed at Cher across the table. Any outings had only been preludes to sex. There had been plenty of one-night-stands, of meeting up with guys in bars where none of his fans might see him. But he’d never been willing to take any of them on a date.

None of them had been as cute as Cher, though, and Cher had made it quite clear that he wouldn’t jump into bed with him simply because he was a famous boxer.

So he’d had to try a little harder, and he didn’t mind it.

“What are you staring at?” Cher asked, smiling slightly as if Oyei was being weird, reaching across the table to poke at his shoulder.

They weren’t at a fancy place, somewhere Oyei would have found stuffy and uncomfortable. He didn’t have any clothes for a fancy place anyway, although he was sure Cher was used to going to restaurants like that. He probably wasn’t as used to eating outside a little food cart, moths fluttering around the table lights. But Oyei never lied about who he was, and Cher didn’t seem to mind.

“Just can’t believe we’re actually on a date,” he answered, surprised by the fluttery feeling in his stomach when Cher laughed, twirling the noodles around his chopsticks.

“Why? Because when we met, you were with your girlfriend?”

“A girl who’s a friend,” Oyei corrected him, but he wasn’t completely wrong. He hadn’t exactly discouraged people from thinking they were together. “And I’m staring because I finally get to look at you all night. I’ve gotta take advantage, don’t I?”

Cher rolled his eyes, but he smiled anyway, as if it was a bad line. “A picture would last longer.”

“Not if I have my way.” Oyei grinned at Cher, picking up a piece of meat from his bowl and offering it to him.

“Are you always such a flirt?” Cher asked, but he took the food Oyei gave him, popping it into his mouth with a cheeky smirk. “Is that why you have so many fans?”

“No, I just think you’re hot,” Oyei said, pleased when Cher’s cheeks reddened slightly, difficult to see in the twilight, the dim lighting around the cart. They weren’t too far from the riverfront, where the lights there would sparkle off the water in a different kind of way. Maybe they’d go there after. He leaned over the table. “Do you think I’m hot?”

Oyei knew he was at least ripped, if not good-looking. He was aware that most of the girls who wanted him only wanted his body, but the same could be said for men.

Cher’s eyes darted down, slowly, as if evaluating the muscles that he couldn’t see beneath his clothes. He took so long to decide that Oyei actually wondered if he didn’t find him attractive and he was only here because Oyei had asked him out one too many times.

He hadn’t asked that many times, in truth. Just twice. Cher hadn’t seemed too keen on a date when he’d come into the gold shop with a girl on his arm and it had taken a few tries after that to convince him he was worth it. Cher was certainly worth it. Oyei had been sure the moment he’d seen him, with his bright shirt and short shorts, big brown eyes and soft, plush lips, the skeptical and slightly judgmental look he’d given him over the counter. Oh yeah, Oyei knew right then he’d be worth it.

“You’re okay,” Cher said finally, biting his lip, eyes flicking down his chest again, lingering on his bare arms in a way that made Oyei smile, sure he was being a little mean on purpose. He kind of liked it too.

“I could show you something much more impressive,” he offered, glancing down, and Cher’s lips pursed together in an attempt to hide his amusement.

“If you make it to the next date, we’ll see.”

Oyei grinned, leaning over the table to reach for Cher’s hand. Cher let him, and Oyei was glad it was dark. He was still a little worried that people might see, but he’d have to take the risk for Cher. After all, to anyone else, they could just be friends having a meal together. Other people didn’t know that Oyei’s heart thudded loudly when Cher slid his fingers over his palm in return.

“There will plenty more dates,” Oyei assured him, smiling at Cher’s raised eyebrows. If he was confident about one thing, it was that this wouldn’t be the last time he saw Cher.

“And what are we going to do on these dates?” Cher asked, skeptical but teasing. “I come to watch you box like a pit girl?”

“I’d love to see you there,” Oyei said, sincere, already picturing Cher cheering him on from the sidelines, being able to stumble out of the ring and pull him into a crushing kiss. It was still a fantasy at this point, something he couldn’t exactly do even if Cher would agree to it, but a guy could dream. “But that’s not a date. I’m going to take you on a picnic in a garden, and we’ll ride the swan boats in the park. And I’ll take you for drinks in the tallest skyscraper in Bangkok. We’ll sing karaoke and buy flowers at the market, and someday, you’ll wake up beside me and I’ll make you breakfast.”

Cher was smiling when Oyei focused back on him and not the images in his head.

“You really think we’re going to do all that?”

Oyei nodded simply. There were so many things he wanted to do with Cher, things he hadn’t even thought of yet. He already knew that.

“Someday,” he said, and someday they would. But for now, this was still just the first date, and Oyei was glad just to be here. And he thought Cher was too as he smiled down at his plate. The night was young, after all, and so were they.

#wandee goodday the series #wandee goodday #oyeicher #cheroyei #my boyy

[ehh-balance]

Gorgug clicked off the turn signal on the hangvan after merging back into traffic. He glanced at the maps app on his crystal again just to be greeted with the same “continue for 88 miles” that was there before they pulled off into the rest stop for a quick break.

“Here ya go,” Kristen said softly, handing Gorgug a sandwich with the wrapper pulled down and wrapped around the bottom half. Gorgug mumbled a thank you, appreciatively taking a massive bite of the snack. He glanced in the rear view mirror, which had been positioned to see the back seat rather than the rear window.

In the third row, Fig had moved from slumped over on Adaine, to slumped against the window with her legs in Adaine’s lap. Adaine, whether she was trancing or napping, hadn’t moved much, just tipping her head from either side to keep her neck from getting too stiff. Fabian was splayed across most of the middle row with Riz tucked into the space between his legs and the seat back. His face was smushed into Fabian’s calf, part of it shiny with Riz’s drool. Gorgug could just spot the fluffy end of Riz’s tail where it was wrapped around Fabian’s arm.

Kristen must’ve seen him checking on everyone else, because she turned around in the passenger seat to peak in the backseat too.

“Man, I’m surprised none of them woke up.” She twisted back around to face forward before pulling a knee up to hug to her chest. Gorgug just hummed back at her, chewing his last bite of sandwich.

“Hey. I’ve got a question,” he said as he checked his blind spot before changing lanes.

“Lay it on me.”

“Remember when we died? Freshman year?” Even mentioning it made Gorgug start to sweat. The dark forest, the blade-like falling leaves. Everything closing in, the tight burn of anger. The lurking fear.

“It was quite a defining moment in my life actually,” Kristen said jokingly. She also placed a gentle hand on his forearm, which made Gorgug suck in a sudden breath. He hadn’t realized he’d been holding it. After hearing his shaky gasp of air, she squeezed his arm more firmly, and said in a gentle tone, “Yeah, I remember.”

Good. That’s good. Or, well, maybe it wasn’t good. Gorgug remembers talking about it with her after it had happened. They had been sitting on the curb across from Basrar’s, waiting for their parent’s to come pick them up. He remembers Kristen talking about how disappointing Helio was and how confused she had been. It had involved a lot of rambling about some pretty cult-y sounding childhood events and a lot of religious guilt. Gorgug had listened and offered unsure input, trying to steer her gently to the idea that maybe the way she was taught to worship wasn’t the only way. In turn, she had listened to him talk about the dark forest, and Mr. Gibbins, and the anger that had consumed the guidance counselor and the fear that had consumed Gorgug. She had healed him arms where his finger nails had cut into his skin from gripping them so tightly in his anxiety.

Gorgug tried to pull himself out of the memory. He had a goal here.

“I don’t like where I went.” Gorgug said firmly. Kristen squeezed his arm again, reaching further up his arm to tug on one of his friendship bracelets. The tug made him realize how tightly he had been clutching the steering wheel and he tried to relax his stiff fingers.

“I know. But hey, Gorthalax said it was a mistake. It shouldn’t happen like that again,” Kristen reassured. And while Gorgug had been telling himself that since Gorthalax had told him, he still didn’t know what that meant. Where he would actually end up when he finally died for good.

“At the end of everything with Porter and Ankarna. Lucy came back, and she told you that she had been in your- in Cassandra’s afterlife.” Gorgug took another breath, it felt like more air was entering his lungs now, “I want that. I want to know where I’m going, and I want it to be there.”

“Okay.”

“Okay?” Gorgug paused. He thought there would be more. “Don’t I have to like. Get some paladin or cleric levels or something? Devote myself to Cassandra?”

Kristen tugged on another of his friendship bracelets this time, the blue and purple one she had made him. “If you want to be there, you’ll be there dude. I’ll make sure. Shoot off a prayer to Cassandra every once in a while if you feel like it. But if you need a hand to hold in the dark, we’ll be there. Whenever you need it.”

Gorgug suddenly felt like he could cry. He hadn’t realized how much he still worried about where he would end up when he died. Being downed so much in the fight against Porter had really kickstarted his stress about it again. He felt like he had in freshman year, right after he died, trying to explain to people how he thought he went to hell. How no one else seemed to grasp the gravity of how intense his emotions were. How no one listened to him, or took him seriously. Or if they did, like his parents, there wasn’t anything they could do. But now one of his best friends finally laid his fears to rest. He had a heaven to go to that would be peaceful, and would likely house a few of his other friends.

Gorgug watched as the sun finally finished setting, the darkness a relief on his straining eyes. A chill quickly settled in, but Gorgug didn’t move to turn on the heat in the car. The cold that the twilight brought felt familiar and comforting and reminded him of Kristen’s magic when she healed him during battles. He finally felt the tension ease from his shoulders and jaw.

“Thank you. I don’t think I realized how much stress that was causing me.” Gorgug glanced at Kristen and saw her smiling fondly back at him.

“Hey man, anytime. Give unto me all your stress tokens, and I shall wipe them clean. So it is spoken, so it shall be. These are the words of Saint Applebees,” Her smile turned slightly feral, baring more teeth and she cackled at herself. Gorgug snorted back at her, the relief of stress and the ease of tension from Kristen catching him off guard.

“I don’t think I want to know what’s going on up there,” Adaine mumbled from the third row, rubbing at her eyes with her glasses pushed up to her forehead.

“I do!” Fig yelled, not at all sounding like she had just woken up from an hour long nap.

“If it involves more yelling, I do not want to hear about it,” Fabian mumbled, while shifting his eye patch to cover his one good eye, even though it was dark out now. He petulantly wrapped his arms around his head to cover his ears. Riz patted his calf in sympathy, while also wiping his drool up with a sleight of hand.

“You still good driving Gorgug? I can tap in whenever now that I’ve got some sleep in me.” Riz offered as he sat up.

“I’m okay. Maybe when we pull off at the next rest stop,” Gorgug replied. He felt Kristen squeeze his arm, from where she still had a grip on it, and the two shared a smile. Yeah, he was okay.

#d20 fantasy high #fhjy spoilers #maybe? #listen #i love all the bad kid dynamics and want to write them all #gorgug thistlespring #kristen applebees #the bad kids #writing #dimension 20

[mimikoolover]

Hi! I’m about to dump a little ramble here I hope that’s okay :)

I’m fairly new to bts and have only in the last six months started to catch up on everything and then started observing the fandom. I have to say, the one thing that’s left me completely baffled about this fandom as an outsider is the way jimin and jungkook’s bond is treated.

I was prepared for seeing appreciation for all the different friendship-dynamics between the members, and I have seen that and it’s beautiful. Jimin is my bias so I like seeing his bonds with everyone. But the general difference in energy surrounding jikook compared to the other friendships is wild to me.

I was prepared to see tinhat type shippers who try to prove two members are romantically/sexually involved and will die on that hill, because there’s always those in every fandom. (and ofc I’ve seen those here too with several different pairings and I don’t necessarily have a problem with it unless they’re being completely inappropriate or harassing them or people in their life or whatever, you do you in fan spaces I guess), but what I was NOT prepared for is seeing jikook biased fans and shippers(?)supporters(?) spending more time defending the fact that they are even close AT ALL, than they do trying to prove an alleged romance. When to me as an outsider it’s incredibly obvious they have been/are one of the closest duos in the group and love each other dearly. Why is that not just accepted as fact? Why are people so hell bent on downplaying that reducing them to purely fan service? Of course they do fan service, all of them do, all groups like that do, but two things can exist at once. It’s super easy to detect when band members are acting close on camera but aren’t actually close, believe me I’ve seen it before, and jikook are definitely not that.

So why??

Some patterns I’ve obseobserved:

- Solo stans love rivalry. JM and JK are the most popular/stand out the most and have the most success with solo songs etc, therefore their fans simply have to dislike the other and see them as competition, -> can’t appreciate them together

- People dislike shippers who see them as something more than friends so much that it “ruined” their bond for them and they can’t appreciate their interactions because of it. (Childish if you ask me, never let what other fans say affect how you feel about the people you follow)

- They’re tinhat taekookers (nothing more to say here lol)

- They’re homophobic and/or jealous and can’t stand some of their flirtyness/jokes/other gay shit they do lol (but it seems to be mostly okay if it’s other pairs, only these two bringing out such a strong anti reaction… which I think is rooted in a few different things but that could be a whole other ramble so)

- They take out negative feelings about perceived mistreatment/favoritism/questionable career moves/believing one is better than the other etc on JM andJK to the point of not wanting to see them together. And I’m not saying some of those concerns can’t be valid, but letting it drive you to dislike one of them so much you can’t appreciate their bond is wild.

- They just don’t like one of them or both for whatever reason, which sure whatever not everyone’s gonna vibe with everyone. Who fans vibe with or not isn’t gonna change the fact that they clearly vibe with each other though, spewing negativity is pointless.

I’d be interested to hear your thoughts on this if you have the time! Why do you think they’re so “controversial”?

Oh also for the record, I’m firmly in the “idc what they have just love them” camp. I can see why some think there’s feelings/attraction there, I can also see why some think it’s simply close friendship/found family/mutual admiration. That’s not the point here though.

first of all i hope you've been having loads of fun becoming a fan, i wish i could go back to the time when i first discovered bts🥹💜

i think the reason is all of what you've said but i have to add one more which is taekookers actively spreading proganda about jikook hating each other. that is a massive one i fear. from what i hear the first group most people come across when they become fans tends to be taekookers (i suppose the reason is that many people get drawn in by tae or jk) and tkkers are super hardcore when it comes to spreading pure hatred towards jimin and jikook. the biggest tkker accounts on twitter and youtube are hardcore haters of jimin and jikook and they come up with wild theories about how jikook hate each other.

i think they do that because they want to pre-empt people looking at jikook and seeing that they're close then questioning if jikook are in fact closer to eo than taekook, which wouldn't bode well for tkkers. once people are brainwashed any ridiculous theory will fly because they already want to believe that jikook hate each other.

whatever jimin or jk do alone or together, tkkers' first reaction is to relate it to proving that jikook don't get along. it's obsessive and frankly so ridiculous. for example apparently jungkook took a trip to japan with eunwoo last year. tkkers' first reaction was that this proves that jikook aren't dating and they're not special because jimin wasn't the only person jungkook 'took to' japan. which is lowkey funny to me coming from tkkers because it's not like jk went with tae. by their logic wouldn't they find it weird that jk travels with someone who's not tae?😭but this is just an example of how far tkkers take their hate and jikook could do literally anything in the world, it would still mean that they hate each other. they didn't have to connect jk and eunwoo's trip to jikook but they still did because they're obsessed and they can't stop talking about how much they think jikook hate each other.

solos are very loud these days but from what i've seen they don't tend to focus on jikook's relationship (or their faves' relationship with other members in general) more than just spew hate towards the members. it's not very ship-specific i don't think. undoubtedly some of them dislike jikook's bond because they don't want them to be close but it's more coming from misguided hate towards either of them than anything actually related to what jikook say/do.

however i will say i think solo stans' bs do affect jikookers/people who would be a fan of both of them and more and more people are 'choosing sides' which to me is really sad...it was definitely a case in the past that most jikookers biased jimin but now the majority of those people have become solos or if they don't say that they've become solos, they displayed very extreme anti reactions to jungkook which is why i have half of jikookers on tumblr blocked😭

there's also a big issue with tkkers harassing people who post positively about jikook especially if it's someone who's a 'non shipper', for example they made numerous 'non shipper' youtubers delete positive reactions to jikook videos or flooded their comments saying that jikook hate each other. 'non shippers' like anyone else don't want to be harassed so many just choose to not talk about jikook i guess.

i've not really been in fandom spaces this year like i was in the past and what became apparent to me is that a lot of drama is just on twitter which is almost like its own bubble. if you look outside of twitter i think the majority of bts fans bias either jimin or jungkook and a lot of those people don't have an issue with their friendship. i see a lot of people get chimmy and kooky keychains together for example and i think outside of twitter a lot of people will be enjoying jikook's travel show.

a reason why i kind of 'left' twitter is because i realised that jikookers focus on the negativity around jikook a lot both from tkkers and solos. i think perhaps there's a tendency for jikookers to highlight the negative bc we want to protect jikook and react strongly to hate but i think this can skew how we think people view jikook if we are focusing on the negative so much. i mean i completely understand it but i think this is also why there's so many solos in the fandom in general, we want to protect the members so much so that we end up focusing on the hate which will then start to seem really extreme and people get more and more passionate towards defending whoever they think deserves it most and end up resenting other members because of their fans' behaviour.

i'm kind of down about bts fandom in general these days because it seems to be in shambles. a good thing though is that years of tkkers and solos didn't seem to affect jikook's bond at all which i didn't think it would. i'd love to say that i think things will get better and people will start to appreciate jikook's friendship but i just don't see it happening😭maybe i should become more hopeful if we are getting people like you with common sense becoming fans!

#jikook #long post oops

[giveamadeuschohisownmovie]

Here’s a thought. So, it’s been talked to death about how the Anakin/Padme romance doesn’t really work in the movies due to how it was written. One of the main arguments is mainly that it doesn’t make sense that Padme would fall for Anakin due to his red flag tendencies, especially after he admitted to slaughtering a whole village. Usually, the rewrites I’ve seen focus on how Anakin needed to be more of a good person/less toxic/less flawed in order to win over Padme.

But how about this: What if Padme was more flawed and insecure than how she was in the Prequels? Basically, matching Anakin in terms of how messed up their characters are. The attraction then focuses on how they’re kindred spirits (similar to how Cal Kestis and Merrin were drawn to each other since they’re both survivors).

The more I think about it, the more I’m leaning towards Padme needing to be more flawed than Anakin losing some of his flaws. Because the Prequel Trilogy is a tragedy! You might as well lean into how tragic the pairing is and how doomed they are!

For example, you don’t have to remove the scene where Anakin confesses to slaughtering the Tusken raiders and Padme taking his side. Instead, justify why Padme takes Anakin’s side. Maybe she can truly relate to how Anakin is feeling at that moment. Maybe she says she would’ve done the exact thing if she was in his position. Maybe she says that no matter what Anakin does, he’ll have her support. Maybe they both feel the pull of the Dark Side and that if they’re both going down this questionable path, might as well go down it together.

I know I just wrote an argument that is basically saying “make it MORE toxic”, but it fits with the story that is being told.

(And of course, the tragedy of episode III would be that Anakin actually following through with becoming a Sith Lord and killing everyone was the one thing Padme couldn’t follow him down. Like, it was the ONE red line that she wouldn’t accept and Anakin crossed it)

Side note: Based on Natalie Portman’s career, you just know that she would’ve crushed the role of “insecure, extremely flawed woman who falls for someone who is a kindred spirit to her, despite how toxic they are together”. That’s some Black Swan vibes.

#star wars #my thoughts #anidala #anakin skywalker #darth vader #padme amidala #star wars prequels #star wars prequel trilogy #prequel trilogy #the phantom menace #attack of the clones #revenge of the sith #the clone wars #anakin x padme #padme x anakin #star wars episode i: the phantom menace #star wars episode ii: attack of the clones #star wars episode iii: revenge of the sith #star wars ships #tusken raiders #dark side #natalie portman

[ilikekidsshows]

Could I ask for your thoughts on Kuro Neko the episode as a whole? It's actually kind of my final straw, so I wanted to ask for your perspective on it.

I haven’t actually seen Kuro Neko in its entirety, and I have no intention to. This episode repels me. Everything I’ve learned about this episode has just made me want to avoid it more. I’ve read the transcript and I suffered every moment of it. I heard the first episodes of season 5 were good and thought to myself: “God, I hope season 5 doesn’t actually fix season 4 because then I’ll have to watch Kuro Neko to catch up.”

Kuro Neko is like Reflekdoll all over again, when the characters come away with the worst possible lessons. In Reflekdoll, Adrien learns that he should never try to be Ladybug and he can’t handle responsibility, while Marinette learns Cat Noir really does just goof off all the time and that’s his “role”. In Kuro Neko, Adrien and Marinette both learn the same lesson that his feelings don’t matter because Ladybug will always have more important things to worry about than his emotional state and he should just be her emotional support dispenser.

Basically, Kuro Neko has Marinette at her most self-centered in the entire show, and she’s downright selfish in it. That by itself wouldn’t be an issue if this wasn’t the retool and Marinette wasn’t Astruc’s imaginary daughter and therefore the “person” this world was made for. The thing is, the episode doesn’t have Marinette learn a lesson about valuing other people and their opinions, like any other cartoon protagonist would have in this scenario, no no no, the episode instead vindicates her.

Kuro Neko has Marinette chase away her partner with her unjustified negative attitude towards him, and she doesn’t regret it once. Instead the episode makes excuses for how she’s under so much pressure and Cat Noir should be grateful Ladybug considers him a useful tool. It’s basically the New York Special all over again. Marinette is in the wrong, but she’s under so much pressure guys, that Cat Noir should accept whatever mistreatment he receives because doing otherwise would be mean to poor Marinette.

Hot take: Marinette deserved to lose her partner in the New York Special and she deserved to lose him in Kuro Neko. Her actions directly lead to him leaving for completely justified reasons, and Marinette never apologizes. It would have been better for Adrien if he didn’t come back, so yeah, I don’t think “Marinette deserves to lose Cat Noir as a partner” is as extreme of a take as I was convinced it was when I first saw the special. Because Marinette keeps pulling this shit and never reflects or improves on her behavior.

Here’s what Kuro Neko tells me: Ladybug doesn’t actually care about Cat Noir as a person, but Cat Noir should still be grateful that he gets a spot on the team working for a leader who constantly abuses her power over him.

This fandom loves to rag on Adrien for being suicidal, because Cat Noir throwing himself in the path of an enemy’s attack to save Ladybug upsets Marinette, but, here’s the thing: LADYBUG DOES IT TOO. LADYBUG HAS PUSHED CAT NOIR INTO AN ENEMY’S WEAPON BECAUSE THAT WAS PART OF HER PLAN IN ‘BACKWARDER’ AND THE FANDOM SLEEPS ON THAT. Marinette’s plans often revolve around Cat Noir being in danger or compromised and the fandom dares to blame him for thinking his life doesn’t matter when that’s what his partner tells him with her actions constantly.

Kuro Neko is just more of that. Cat Noir quitting didn’t come from nowhere. There were warning signs of him missing fights and so on, but Marinette can’t be arsed to spare a single thought to what might be going on with her partner. She just thinks he should be happy he’s getting a break, because being a superhero is so much hard work, projecting her own thoughts and feelings onto him instead of asking. Marinette never asks when it comes to Cat Noir, she just assumes and demands.

She thinks Kuro Neko is Cat Noir, which is equal parts frustrating and hilarious when it’s paired together with her insisting time and time again that she knows Cat Noir so well in this episode. And it’s the episode where she fails to recognize him twice and misconstrues his issues to be about the fact that he can’t handle being one-sidedly in love with her. But, like, here comes the really asinine part; despite all these facts being provably incorrect, the episode still doesn’t make Marinette learn she’s incorrect. It really is Reflekdoll, but worse.

The only time Marinette apologizes in this episode is when she thinks Cat Noir was Akumatized, and it was for “not seeing how broken-hearted he was”, not for actively pushing him away. When Cat Noir comes back, she instead gives him the silent treatment until he says his justified anger at her was just “her kitty being temperamental”, invalidating his own feelings. Sure, Cat Walker, and therefore Cat Noir, heard those apologies, but Marinette doesn’t know that. Somewhere between realizing Kuro Neko isn’t Cat Noir and seeing Cat Noir again, she decided she had done nothing wrong that warranted an apology. And the thing that did it: the person she hurt coddling her through her pity party.

When Marinette realizes that Cat Noir is still missing and not Kuro Neko, in true Marinette fashion, she makes it about herself. “I must be the worst Guardian ever!” she bemoans when she should be putting together a plan. Hell, even a decision to do better by Cat Noir. But no, our solution-oriented protagonist couldn’t possibly make a plan to find and apologize to Cat Noir (maybe even do away with the “no revealing identities” rule so that this can’t happen again), she’s too busy bitching and moaning about how hard she’s having it. The only thing that gets her out of her funk is the new guy, who she thinks she’s just met, calling her faithful former partner “too emotional” and swearing servitude to her and her altar of the most important problems in the world. And the reason the episode is written like this? It’s because the writers don’t think she needs to apologize and do better in the future. Of course they’re not having her come to the conclusion that she needs to fix something, because they don’t think she does.

“You take care of everybody equally, Ladybug. Now I want to take care of you,” Cat Walker says, to absolve Ladybug of any guilt. The reality, though, is completely different. Cat Noir has always supported Ladybug. The reason he quit was because Ladybug made it abundantly clear she didn’t want or need his support anymore. And he’s made to come back to her, saying he hasn’t done enough? HE COMFORTS LADYBUG THROUGH AN EMOTIONAL BREAKDOWN AT LEAST ONCE PER SEASON. HE DOES SO FUCKING MUCH AND HE’S FORCED TO SAY HIS EMOTIONS ARE “MAKING TROUBLE” FOR LADYBUG WHILE HIS SELFISH, SELF-CENTERED PARTNER WHO DOESN’T TREAT HIM AS A PERSON GIVES HIM THE SILENT TREATMENT, ONLY FACING HIM WHEN HE MAKES LIGHT OF HIS OWN EMOTIONS SO THAT SHE DOESN’T HAVE TO APOLOGIZE FOR ACTING LIKE A JERK.

“You treat everybody equally” my ass. The day she starts treating Cat Noir like a person, then we can talk. Before that point, she’s a selfish, entitled jerk and Cat Noir deserves better.

The Fae Cat Noir Interpretation was supposed to reflect a flaw of Marinette’s, that Marinette never thinking about Cat Noir as a human being with emotions and problems was something she’d need to grow out of. Except that she doesn’t. Instead the show agrees with her and makes excuses for her. Adrien isn’t even human, he literally is made a “perfect” fae being that Marinette can treat however she wants and he will never complain and he will be in the wrong if he tries to leave.

#ml critical #ml salt #fae cat noir #kuro neko salt #never mind how the episode itself also trivializes Adrien's feelings with that comedy take on his apparent depression