#(gaara keeping him away from the war. sakura desperately trying to take away from him the promise he made her

[softdaemons]

everytime i return to my sns hours all i can think about is naruto and sasuke traveling together post ending, after trying to live in the village but they just cant for all the obvious reasons. sasuke can't sit still and even though he conceded at the end of their fight he hasn't changed his mind in that the world /needs/ a revolution. it takes a while and alot of fighting and denial on narutos part most of the time leading to one of them bursting out the door in anger not being able to take conversations anymore lack of conversation, but naruto eventually allows himself an ounce of honesty that the villages obsession with him ushering naruto onto a pedestal of being a hero and beelining him to be the future hokage sakura pushing him towards hinata the death cost of the war the continued treatment towards sasuke. it all pains him, a cruel mix of ptsd trauma and depression ontop of rage and anger after what his family has gone through, he has gone through, sasuke, and everyone else he's met along the way that have been orphaned or treated wrong by the shinobi world.

so they eventually agree to leave because konoha is exhausting and claustrophobic to say the least, with a quickstop at nekobaas to get properly set up with material, but also mentally prepare before truly leaving. nekobaa and her apprentice both give them some tips of neighboring places that may be looked past by the other villages that they can look into for money and lodging should they want it, and thats the way naruto and sasuke exist for a while. taking odd jobs, protecting innocents from other desperate or vile induvials looking to get on top with the new changes swirling around. months stretch into a year or so and of course they fall in open love, naruto pondering and feeling guilt of being away from home for so long, but he gets anxious over falling into the mix of expectations again, and sasuke keeps him up. the closest they ever go back to konoha again is maybe to visit gaara.

i'd imagine from time to time team taka comes along on their journey. deep down naruto and sasuke bitterly thinking that things couldve been like this maybe. not separated and working together earlier on. but they don't dwell on it for now and over the course of one meetup karin and naruto whove been hitting it off through their lineage start gossiping over uzushio and this basically turns into my excuse of naruto and sasuke settling down at the whirlpool ruins, taka included. i want to imagine they turn it into a place of respite for those who may have been displaced during the war - most of those individuals being ones crawling out of hiding being descendants of the uzumaki and other orphans. its a beautiful sanctuary and a spearhead for naruto and sasukes plans of creating widespread change, from dismantling shinobi programs to train child soldiers, publicizing history starting with the destruction of uzushio and the uchiha etc etc your basics.

im iffy on there being also being a few uchiha stragglers - survivors who had left konoha in secret. im sure konoha would not allow or even the clan head allowing individuals to leave the village in order to keep them all in one place/together. but i can buy some people making it out wanting a life away, but after the massacre events living in secret as normal civilians, only coming out of hiding post war after hearing about the sanctuary being built for another clan and being assisted by the infamous sasuke.

ALSO. i think naruto would be fierce in fighting for jinchuuriki and what the world has done to the tailed beast and their hosts alike. extremely determined to protect them and mourning not only his family but another one he never got to know with the other hosts. i can see bee stopping by uzushio as a sort of second home and them bonding and training more in a way that sasuke cant even understand. i think it would def help naruto build upon his own independent identity. honestly idr canons comments on the jinchuurikis fate but i think it would be the sweetest thing if the beasts came across individuals they connected to that they could find their own hosts and they would come to uzushio to train with nar and bee.

im gonna shut up now this is the most self indulgent au trying to cram 92852837 things in it at once. tldr. sasuke and naruto are in love and after a while and deep into their healing process they start their own family and have 2 daughters.

#personal #also nekobaa moves herself and her apprentice to uzushio and basically i want to cram all my favorites into one space of the world thats #away from all the other villages LMAO #the first village that naruto and sasuke work wtih is suna bc gaara is the next to understand them both even remotely #ontop of the jinchuuriki buisiness which hes all for #and he loves them both these two messy and sad individuals #and he never wants to see another child fall through the cracks

[steeltoss]

Pre Shippuden — Shippuden Era

Ages 16 - 22. This is a continuation of the events in Hokkaido's life.

Age 16

I left off on her six month mission in Konohagakure. Backtracking a few months before she turned sixteen, she worked directly under Tsunade Senju amd had slowly reconnected with her old friends, including Neji Hyūga, Kiba Inuzuka, Ino Yamanaka, Sakura Haruno, Shikamaru Nara, and Choji Akamichi.

That being said, her sixteenth birthday was spent in the Hidden Leaf. The party was small and planned by Ino, complete with a few cupcakes and dango. This was the first birthday she enjoyed after Emi passed away.

Speaking of Emi, Hokkaido constantly worried over Ichika and often wrote letters to the younger one. After all, next year Ichika would start the Amegakure Academy.

Aside from her mission, nothing too big happened this year. Though she found out Sasuke was missing. He had become a Rogue Ninja. Okay that's pretty big but still.

Age 17

Upon her journey towards Amegakure after the six months had passed, the Kunoichi had taken it into her own hands to search for Sasuke. She strayed off the path she should have been taking to go to the Hidden Rain Village.

From here, she runs into some nasty company.

This was the first time she met Pein and Konan. And they looked like they were ready to end her.

Upon activating her sharingan, interest was sparked in her by Pein. She was spared on one condition. Well a few, but one big one.

She was to join the Akatsuki, accept the Rogue life and abandon her old life. This would mean abandoning the Hidden Rain and Ichika.

But on the other hand, maybe she could find Sasuke. She had no clue just how wrong she was. But she agreed nonetheless.

So she was taken back to the base, fron there, she met the other members.

Okay don't kill me but here's what happens when she first meets the Akatsuki: [her opinion and relationships will change over time]

Pein: Of course when they first met, she was intimidated and activated her sharingan, but being spared and hopefully brought closer to her brother, she would do anything he asked, for now at least.

Konan: Seeing her special skills, Hokkaido was intimidated but wouldn't admit so. She seems to be the only female here.

Deidara: I'm sorry Dei, but my little angel thought you were a very beautiful lady until you spoke the first time. Needless to say, she was rather shocked but admired his hair and explosives anyway.

Kakuzu: one word. Fear. This man is huge and crazy tall, also his personality reminds her of what its like to bite into a crabapple.

Hidan: she admired his dedication, but didn't like how he greeted her with “Fuck, there's another one? At least this one has a decent rack”. She punched him. And threatened his life only to find out he's immortal.

Tobi: well, he's very hyper and welcoming at least, but she wondered why he wore that mask.

Kisame: is he a man? Shark? Man-Shark? Either way, she kept a distance and admired his strength from afar.

Sasori: puppets are completely and utterly horrifying and she wanted nothing to do with this weird puppet man. Until she saw how red his hair was and her cheeks dusted a pale pink. It reminded her of someone she met a few years ago.

Itachi: . . . Her brother. Her brother, who had killed the clan was in the Akatsuki. Upon seeing him, she wondered if it was too late to leave the Akatsuki. She rurned her nose away and sighed.

Zetsu: “are you a. . . Big, adorable plant man?” i think it's safe to say Zetsu stared at her and quite possibly closed his trap around himself to save himself the embarrassment or black Zetsu threatening to eat her.

Back to Age 17

Sasuke wasn't with them, and she felt like shutting down completely. She was now at square one again. She had hoped this was her ticket to helping her brother, but ahe didnt know he didn't want help.

And honestly, you can't help someone who doesn't want any help.

Aside from her mind overworking, she now had to face Itachi as he was staring her down.

“hey, Itachi... ”

From there, the two walked around as he explained what really happened that day. She was torn. The Leaf had ordered this massacre?

Maybe she wasn't ready to go home after all.

Age 18

On her eighteenth birthday, she had spent her very first one with Itachi in nine years, and she oncr again, was crying those sappy happy little tears.

She never really expected a group of terrorists to the villages to get her gifts, yet they had.

Konan had gotten her a pair of fingerless gloves; Hokkaido appreciated the gesture because her hands were usually cold and Konan usually got things she needed or wanted anyway as the two had become closer.

Kisame had given her her very first katana, which, she undeniably adored the gesture; and she was extremely pink cheeked, she wasn't in love with him but she really liked his caring and understanding attitude.

Tobi had gotten her a mask to match his, which she never would wear; instead, she retaliated with offering to share dango with him instead. Which results in him squealing.

Sasori had claimed he didn't give a damn about things she wanted but still placed a small wooden figure of well, GAARA, in front of her; which led to the idea he had read her diary and had fully embarrassed her. But this little figure was different. Gaara was dressed as the Kazekage.

Deidara had picked her up some paint; remembering she hsd spent endless nights she couldn't sleep to paint her ceilinv and walls, and was out of it.

Zetsu uh, well, gave her a few seeds for flowers. It was for a joke since he figured she would never use them, but she held o to them. Just wait. These gifts will be brought up later.

Kakuzu, and i can't stress this enough, didn't do shit.

Hidan, on the other hand, tried offering immortality if she converted to jashinism.

Itachi had saved his for last. He had gotten her a journal and pens, as well as her stuffed panda from Amegakure.

A part of being an official member of the Akatsuki meant missions. And she had completed several, but what made her panic would be the one where the hunt for Jinchuuriki began.

It was a silent battle with herself. She had already dedicated herself to the Akatsuki but she knew two Jinchuuriki. Gaara and Naruto.

The day Gaara's One Tail was extracted, she covered her mouth upon hearing those certain words.

“He's dead”.

As if she had been hoping her life wouldn't get worse, she had already made up her mind. She really, really despised Deidara now. And she knew she would be killed if she straight up abandoned post.

However, on her next solo mission, she managed to leave a scroll for the Hokage and wanted word passed silently between the Five Kage's. She was playing both sides as of now, but desperately wanted out.

Would they believe her?

No. Not yet at least.

Age 19

Silence. She had succumbed herself with silence, almost like a vow she had taken. Deidara, Sasori, they were dead and war was coming.

She promised herself she would hate Deidara for what he did to Gaara, but she couldn't help but feel pity. Deidara was only a teenager when he died. [I think he was nineteen?]

With the Fourth Shinobi War coming, she was scared. Having no idea what to even do, Hokkaido assumed she would die.

Because I'm a lil bitch, I'm making you wait until she turns 20 for more details.

Age 20

The Akatsuki was no more. Almost all had died, and Hokkaido felt a slight empty feeling in her heart as she sat in front of the Five Kage's.

This was judgement. Would she be allowed to repent and become a better person or be banished forever, or die? Her mind was going wild.

Though, she couldn't help the feeling of ease as she saw Gaara, the Kazekage and boy she used to know, standing and perfectly fine.

“During the time of my extraction, I could see she wanted nothing to do with the Akatsuki organization. She looked almost forced to be there”.

The words Gaara spoke made her face turn pink and look away. Why was he trying to help her when she had fallen into the wrong group of people?

As if she hadn't already felt like she had succumbed herself in a repetitive cycle of falling for Gaara each day she thought about it, him helping her only dragged her deeper into the pit.

And Kami, he was so beautiful.

“and I'd like to offer that if you don't trust her, that's fine. She can return to Suna with me and Kankurō. She can build herself from there”.

So she moves to Suna and begins working on herself as a person, much of the things she had thought about was the very questions Gaara had asked along the way.

“why help me?” she had asked, the gaze he gave her was hard but he responded with: “you aren't the only one who was in the wrong. It would be wrong of anyone to not let you change yourself. I was given a chance and was once feared and hated, so can you answer this for me, do you wamt to live? Do you want to start a new beginning? If so, keep walking with us”.

And so she walked.

Age 21

Life in Suna was much different than the Hidden Rain or Leaf. Not many people would contact her or look her way for the first few days. After all she was an outsider and reformed terrorist.

Hokkaido had grown close to Temari once more, as well as Kankurō. These two, when free, helped her with the adjustment.

Hokkaido had left Amegakure behind, the ache in her heart subsiding as she realized Ichika had grown into a decent young child and chose to not become a shinobi, considering shinobi had too many hardships and heartaches to deal with.

As for Gaara, the two often spent time gardening and cultivating cacti.

Something from the past had finally been planted. The flower seeds Zetsu had given her way back on her birthday spent with the Akatsuki.

The katana that Kisame had given her was placed on a display.

Her Traditional Japanese Sword Display

The katana which is the most recognized full sized samurai sword and is often the first piece in any collection. It sits at the bottom and has a beautiful violet ito handle wrap.

The second would be the wakizashi which is a mid-sized sword that resembles the katana and the ito handle wrap was midnight blue.

Then the third which is a tanto. The tanto is the shortest of the swords or in many examples can be as short as today's standard survival styled knife. The ito wrap is black.

This is an example of how the stand is:

Age 21

The mask Tobi had given her had brought up bitter memories and had long sense been tossed into a storage box.

Her fingerless gloves had been destroyed during the war, but since she used them for swordplay, Temari had gotten her a new pair as a gift.

The wooden figure Sasori had given her of Gaara was more or less embarassing since she lived with the sand siblings and had hidden it away in the storage box.

Her panda sat on her bed, displayed and untouched except for during the night.

Age 22

Upon the next year, Hokkaido watched as relationships blossomed between many people, marriages and children coming into the world, she began wondering if she would ever have something like this in her own life. She highly doubted it.

Having been back and forth from Konohagakure, she grew closer to Shikamaru once more from childhood as she often joined the male and Temari on days they'd spend time together.

Other times, Hokkaido would stick to Kankurō and help with making puppets, she rather enjoyed painting them.

And occasionally, when Gaara was free, the two would still garden together and had began talking more, sometimes the two would even go out to the village and walk around together.

Her feelings for Gaara seemed to only hrow stronger as she had grown older, and she imagined herself having a future with him. It always made her heart hammer and her face turn blood red.

This year, she had cut most of her hair off to her shoulders as it had grown too long. She soon admits her feelings to Gaara, unsurprisingly, he was silent.

She most definitely assumed she blew it, but nearly a week later, Gaara had shyly asked if she would allow him to court her.

This was most definitely the beginning of a new and beautiful relationship.

I'll pick up with pre boruto - boruto era soon. Though im not sure if these are even good. @temarihime @thefifthkazekage @how-troublesome @houndninja

#naruto rp #closed rp #copyeyes #apollo talks #apollo writes #naruto shippuden #naruto #naruto uzumaki #sabaku no gaara #akatsuki #gaara rp #naruto gaara #gaara headcanons #gaara no sabaku #suna no gaara #gaara of the desert #gaara x oc #sasori of the red sand #sasori #deidera #tobirama #fourth ninja war #neji hyūga #Headcanons #ive cried all throughout writing each piece #tw #death tw #roleplay #anime rp #anime oc

[an-ambivalent]

Hi! I send the ask about the Yandere sasuke and Madara. I really just want to be surprised lol. Maybe Madara is trying to convince his wife to leave the village with him. Maybe Sasuke’s love interest is in the same search team as Naruto and is looking for him (shuppiden era ofc). Anything works really. I just want to be surprised lol 😂. But female lead pls? THANK YOU AGAIN ❤️

I used your prompts as a loose guideline :) hope you like this! Thank you for requesting! We all know how much we need yandere! Uchiha fanfictions to spice up our lives 🤧

Warning: As this is yandere fiction, this deals with unethical behaviours  that can be uncomfortable and triggering to read. Read at your own risk. This work is purely fictional, I do not condone this behaviour irl.

Yandere! Madara leaving the village with his wife 

Your mission to seduce Madara had gone a bit too well. 

See, you had been assigned a secret assignment that that was known only by you and Tobirama – him being the one who had given you this mission. 

You were from a small clan that was somewhat strong, but nowhere the skill level that was possessed by the Uchiha and the Senju; your clan was on the brink of war with another that was much more powerful, and surely, would leave your family extinct. In the last hopes to save your family, you had ended up reaching out to the Senju, more specifically, Tobirama. In exchange for protecting your clan, not only did your clan have to submit themselves under the Senju’s rule for the rest of the living days, but Tobirama had assigned a very special task to you. 

“At the expense of your own life to protect your clan, risk yourself. Become close to Madara Uchiha, and report back all of his suspicious activities and the Uchiha’s plans to me,” Tobirama had ordered simply. 

To this day, you still wondered how you managed to coax Madara, but the reality was that you did; and you did not realise the weight of your own actions until it was too late. 

Undoubtedly, the situation of your assignment had escalated to the point of no return. You knew how vengeful Madara was against those who wronged him. That fear of what would happen if you ever refused him, or what he would do to your clan if he found out the truth of why you were actually with him, kept you rooted to obey whatever he desired from you. Whatever he wanted, you gave it to him, until this very moment. 

The cold touch of his warm hand burnt as the awful reminder of your reality, and kept you spiraling down into madness. There was regret for all of your choices: accepting Tobirama’s condition, choosing to sacrifice yourself for your clan’s safety when they did nothing but dishonour you for siding with the traitor, not knowing that you were doing it to protect them, and  letting your fear of what Madara was capable of control and weaken you. These regrets made your stomach churn and you felt the sensation of nausea in your mouth. 

Madara’s breath fanned your face, and he tenderly cupped your cheek with his hands. In the darkness of the night, his usual onyx eyes blazed a crimson red; it was a warning of the depths he was willing to reach if you dare to defy him now, of all the times. 

“We’re leaving the village,” Madara announced as a firm statement, leaving no room for argument. 

Despite your crippling fear, you opened your mouth to speak. Despite all the odds, you hoped to stand up for yourself for once. 

However, the moment the sharp corner of a kunai pricked the delicate flesh of your neck, and drew blood that matched the colour of Madara’s eyes as a warning, your hope vanquished the moment it was there. 

“You have no choice. I know all about your little mission that Tobirama assigned you,” Madara whispered with a voice as smooth as honey. He tucked a lock of your hair behind your ear, and due to his spoken words, your eyes were widened. 

“You should be grateful that someone like me actually even bothers with someone of a low ranking as you, and that I’ve decided to take pity on you. No one else cares about you, no one else will. You’re shunned by your own clan. Me, I’m the only one who has ever given a damn about you. So show me some appreciation by being a good girl alright?” He muttered, and then captured your lips with his in a deep kiss. 

And like the conformist you were, you returned it. Tears welled up in the corner of your eyes, but there was nothing else to do. There was nothing else left for you except for the life Madara had in store for you. So, you reached out your hands, and tangled your fingers in the raven hair of the devil that was your sole salvation, and sealed your fate with him with this kiss for all eternity. 

Sasuke is under the cut!

Yandere! Sasuke’s love interest in the search team

For as far as your memory served, all the way to your childhood when your journey as a ninja was merely beginning at the Konohagakure ninja academy, something about Sasuke had always put you off. Unlike many of the others, who were drawn to him for many reasons – his looks, his talents, his intelligence, and the fact that he was an Uchiha, you always kept your distance. Behind his ingenious and aloof energy that pulled others in, was a feeling of eeriness – a particular discomfort that prompted you to stay away from him as far as possible. During your student days, it was not too difficult for you to avoid him. However, once your were put on Team Seven with Naruto, Sakura and Sasuke himself, it was almost impossible to ever get away from him. 

And everything worsened because someone as talented as Sasuke, knew how to keep himself  from being suspected. He never revealed his true colours enough in front of everyone for them to put all the clues together. Sure, granted it was sort of evident that Sasuke had a soft spot for you, and showed you an ounce of kindness in the way he did not with others. However, it was when the two of you were alone that his true intentions were revealed. 

Inappropriate touches, whispers of petrifying promises, and his cunning threats – you hated all of it. Especially after he was given the curse mark by Orochimaru, and the inevitable darkness that haunted the Uchiha began to plague him, that’s when it was the worst. 

After his fight with Naruto on the hospital’s roof, where Sakura would have been severely hurt had it not been for Kakashi’s interference, Sasuke had dragged you away with him. You had become his punching bag he took his frustration out on to make himself feel powerful, to make him feel something. 

Using sparring to train as an excuse, you had ended up beneath him. He held a kunai to your throat which was a typical way to announce one’s victory over their opponents. However, with the way he was pushing his entire weight on you and stradling you, and the intense glare of his ruby red Sharingan, made you believe that he was really going to kill you. 

You felt the familiarity of his cold and venomous touch caressing the side of your body, and his lips were stretched into a cold wide grin. 

“You’d be perfect for the revival of my clan, after I kill Itachi…. Say, [Name], you’ll wait for me, won’t you? You’ll save yourself for our first time and not be with anyone else until I return won’t you?” Sasuke demanded rather than asking, and with each word he had spoken, the animosity in his voice had increased, until he was roughly gripping your face. 

Tears were brimming at the corner of your eyes, and you trembled. In that moment, having no means of escape, and defiance being the last thing on your mind, you had nodded and said the words you needed to get him off of you. They saved you in that moment, but promised your demise for the future. 

Afterwards, subsequently to Sasuke’s betrayal and departure from the Hidden Leaf, you felt out-casted. While your fellow comrades mourned over his treacherous actions, you were glad. You were happy that Sasuke had left because you were finally given your very much needed peace of mind. 

The two and a half years spent without Sasuke, had been some of your best. So, you could only refrain yourself from becoming overwhelmingly consumed by your own anxiety when you were forced to go on his rescue mission. 

You tried getting out of it, you really did. But going against someone as stubborn as Naruto or Sakura – and worse, both of them combined, was a battle of the will you were not capable of winning. 

For you, anything was better than seeing Sasuke again to the point where you had wished that one of the Akatsuki members had really killed you during Gaara’s rescue expedition. 

The moment those beautiful, but incredibly vicious dark eyes had become fixated on you, you knew in the pit of your stomach that this was going to be the beginning of the end for you. 

Team Kakashi returned to the village without Sasuke, and without you as well. 

Sasuke, with the help of Orochimaru and Kabuto, had managed to grab you, and disappear from the rest of your team with you. 

Of course, Sasuke had being away from you for such a long time. As a result, he was so desperate to be with you, that Orochimaru or Kabuto were not even given a second to demean you in anyway for your affiliation to the Leaf. Sasuke had taken you to his room immediately, and despite putting up a fight against him, you were no match for his power. 

Easily, Sasuke had tossed you on his bed, and the amount of emotions from seeing you was so intense that his Sharingan had activated subconsciously. 

“I hope you’ve kept your promise,” he started, and crawled on top of you. “Because I can’t. I know I said I’ll do this after I kill Itachi, but you’re simply too irresistible.” 

—

Please send in more prompts for Naruto 😩

#yandere x reader #yandere imagines #naruto #madara x reader #sasuke x reader #naruto x reader #yandere madara #yandere sasuke #uchiha x reader #akatsuki x reader #naruto imagines #naruto headcanons #yandere naruto #obsession #possessive #jealousy #sasuke uchiha #madara uchiha #ambivalent writes

[anerdinallherglory]

Approaching Sun (16)

Author’s Note: Sorry guys. Still battling with an illness, so it’s been difficult to find the energy to write. On the positive note, I’m enjoying seeing a little more of Sasuke in the Boruto series. It makes me so happy to see Papasuke interact with Sakura and Sarada more. <3 

P.S.: To my reviewers, sharers, and likers: THANK YOU. I WRITE FOR YOU!

Pairing: SasuSaku 

Previous Chapters: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15 

Chapter 16: “Almost, but Never Again”

Sakura was trying hard not to be "annoying." At first, the silence between them felt so awkward that she felt compelled to engage Sasuke in some sort of conversation. She began asking him questions about Kaguya and he answered them all; including one particular truth that Sakura had not known. Apparently, it was the reason why Sasuke had come back home to the village in the first place. It was about the White Zetsu army that Kaguya had created by using the chakra from the God Tree. Sasuke disclosed to her that Kaguya created the army to fight something else, a force stronger than the united shinobi of the war. Sasuke added that he wasn’t exactly sure what this threat was, but that it was something to be feared if Kaguya had felt so threatened by it that she created an army in preparation of it.

 "It's my goal," he said, giving her a sideways glance "to eliminate this threat. I'll do whatever it takes."

 For the first time, Sakura realized the gravity of Sasuke's mission and a combination of anger and appreciation arose in her being for the role Sasuke was playing. Anger, because he was carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders; his redemption for all his mistakes in the past. It just didn’t seem fair, Sakura thought, for Sasuke to have to do this on his own. Appreciation, because Sasuke was doing what had to be done to protect the peace they had all fought so hard for in the Fourth Shinobi World War.

 "Why didn’t you tell me?" she asked seriously, scanning the back of his head as he walked a couple steps in front of her. She felt that she had just as much right as Naruto to know what exactly was keeping Sasuke from coming home. "Back in the village, you could have told me."

 He was silent for a moment before his quiet voice reached her in the dark. "I didn’t want to worry you."

 Whether or not that was true, she didn’t question him. It was better to believe that that than the worries in her mind of him simply not caring enough to tell her.

 And then, she stopped talking all together. She backed off the unrelated questions when Sasuke's answers became short, and then turned to the usual "Hn"s . She knew he was trying, but that he was struggling to participate in a conversation where he was forced to small talk. He had been on his own for so long, Sakura realized, that of course he wasn’t going to be as talkative as she hoped. It was her own desire to talk to him that had her blabbing. She stopped, and did her best just to be comfortable with the mutual silence. As long as she was at his side, she told herself, it didn’t matter if he was his usual quiet and reserved self.

 Instead of talking his ear off, Sakura gazed up at the stars that peaked through the black treetops and thought of all the questions she wanted to ask him. She had a million, but tried her best to discard the questions that came to mind that involved some of his shadier actions during his time apart from Team 7. Questions like: Did you ever think about us when you were away with Orochimaru? She knew the answer, and instantly put the question in the back of her mind because she didn’t want to hear it spoken out loud.

 After about 30 minutes of her silence, Sasuke stopped when they reached a small clearing between the forest trees and motioned to the soft, green grass. He sat her bag gently down and said, "We have a while yet, before we reach the Land of Rivers' border. Rest now, and we'll continue after the sun has risen."

 "Oh," Sakura stammered, walking towards him and leaning over her bag to undo the strap. "Of course." She didn’t bother packing a sleeping bag; the weather was growing warmer by the day and Sakura knew that it would be more trouble lugging it around than it was worth. So she awkwardly placed her bag under head as she reclined along the soft grass. Sasuke nodded and turned, which had Sakura leaning toward his direction, perched up on her elbow. "What, you're not resting?"

 Sasuke continued to walk away from her until he stopped next to a large oak tree a few feet away. He sat, perched his back against its trunk, and stared off into the darkness. "I'll keep watch for now. I'll wake you when it's your turn."

 "Oh," she said, feeling both guilty and a little selfish for not even thinking of offering to do so herself, first. "Are you sure? I don’t mind to--"

 "Just rest," he said resolutely, crossing his arms as he continued to gaze out into the blackness that surrounded them.

 "Give me an hour or two, then wake me," she said shyly, knowing there was no arguing with that stern voice and fixed posture. She turned to rest on her back. "I'll take over so you can sleep, too."

 "Hnn," she heard him hum. She couldn’t help but feel like his mood was increasingly growing sour by the minute, whether it be because she had talked his ear off earlier, or that he was simply needing sleep, she couldn’t tell. She decided to stare up at the stars for a few more minutes before summoning the jutsu to her fingertips that helped her fall asleep quickly. Without it, she would be a tossing ragdoll of nerves that never got any sleep. Looking up at the stars she thought of another question she'd like to ask Sasuke, before falling into a deep, chakra-induced sleep.

 . . . . . . . . . . .

 The last thing Sasuke would do, was wake her up. He felt like a selfish prick when he heard Sakura yawn. At first, he was appreciative for her questions. It kept him focused on his goal, his mission to annihilate the Otsusuki race. After the 20th question, Sasuke's eye began to twitch. He had forgotten what it was like to be on a mission with anyone other than himself and the effort required to keep up a conversation was jarring. Then she just completely stopped talking which had Sasuke mentally retracing his steps, wondering what he had done wrong to make her withdraw suddenly. Did he sigh out loud? He couldn’t remember. And then, she yawned and Sasuke wanted to kick himself. Of course, she was tired. He had purposefully stayed up late to leave the village at 2am and they had been walking for hours.

 Now, as he leaned against the trunk of a tree, Sasuke reminded himself that he was going to have to be more thoughtful as long as his pink-haired teammate accompanied him on his journey. Whereas Sasuke's body was wound tightly and all he wanted to do was to keep moving, he was going to have to keep in mind that Sakura had other needs. He couldn’t just do as he felt anymore. Sasuke berated himself for being even slightly annoyed about it. So what, if you have to make a couple of extra stops along the way, he told himself, just appreciate that someone you care about is even here for you to worry about.

 But to be honest, Sasuke couldn’t be happy that she was here. Sakura had won their argument and now Sasuke was marching her straight to the Hidden Sand Village, as if she was just as disposable as he was. No, he'd find a way where he didn’t have to involve her in this. Maybe she would be distracted enough with her own mission that Sasuke could pursue the danger without directly involving her in the mess. It was the worry for her safety that was drowning his usual, indifferent composure.

 After the faint two beat of Sakura's breathing confirmed she had finally drifted to sleep, Sasuke allowed his gaze to slide over to her sleeping form. Her hair was tangled between her head and the khaki pack she was propped against. Her knees were bent, and her left arm was thrown over her eyes. The fingers of her right hand were splayed out against the grass in such a way that had Sasuke glancing down at his dangling sleeve, the very material that she had held onto with those fingers just hours earlier.

 He began to blink heavily, and then, he was suddenly seeing those very same fingers reaching out for him, bloodied and broken at excruciating angles. Her desperate screaming reached him in the vision and Sasuke was staring at her struggling body as a monster leaned over her broken body, a fist around her throat. First, it was Itachi that held her throat and Sasuke was a child again, begging him to spare her life. Then the figure morphed and it was Gaara, the sand demon, who stood over Sakura and covering her face with his sand. Sasuke was clawing at a wall of sand that separated him from her and he was whispering Naruto's name, pleading for him to save her. The monster shifted again, and the form it took next, had Sasuke kneeling and trembling at the pale face of Kaguya. Sasuke couldn't shut out the noise of Sakura wailing his name.

 "Sasuke," that voice was calling out to him, and when he opened his eyes, Sakura was crouching in front of him, a shadow against the yellow morning light. "Wake up."

 He stared at Sakura, who was clearly unharmed and currently smiling at him. "So much for waking me up. The sun's up."

 A dream? It had been a nightmare and Sasuke shook his head to release himself from the trembling that still possessed him. He cursed under his breath, chastising himself for being so careless as to fall asleep. He must have been more tired than he originally thought. Sasuke felt a sudden guilt for dozing off. What if someone had attacked them? What if he had woken up and she hadn't been there? What would he have done, then?

 Shrugging her pack onto her shoulder, Sakura stood and surveyed a path before her. "What do you think about heading southeast and making a stop for supplies in the Hidden Valley Village? We could reach it by sundown tomorrow if we're diligent."

 Sasuke stood and frowned at her retreating form. She took a few steps before turning to check to see if he was following. "Are you alright, Sasuke?" she asked, concern edging her soft voice as her rose-colored brows furrowed. She tilted her head when he didn’t respond.

 Sasuke wanted to tell her right then and there that he had changed his mind. He wasn’t alright because he was regretting the decision to let her come. He shouldn’t have let her step a foot out of that village. Go home, he wanted to say rudely. Go home, where you'll be safe. The words wouldn’t form so he stalked towards her, and then past her without even offering to take her pack this time. He let silence consume him as the visions of his nightmare haunted him.

 . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

 Sakura was disappointed in how downhill the situation was going between them. She didn’t even realize she had formed expectations of traveling with Sasuke until he was walking silently in front of her for an hour, not even attempting to speak to her. What had she expected? Honestly, Sakura had fantasized about this very scenario for two years and had imagined them growing closer during their time together. But here was Sasuke, typically moody and unwavering in his mindset of speechless companionship.

 Had she done something wrong? Maybe she had talked too much yesterday. She gave Sasuke his silence for another hour before she couldn’t take it anymore.

 She smiled and skipped forward until she was level with him as he walked. "I think there's a river coming up. I can cook you some fish, if you're hungry."

 "How are you familiar with this area?" he asked immediately, masked regard in his voice. Sakura couldn’t miss how he was making a point to not look at her.

 Not expecting that reply, Sakura responded timidly, "Well, actually, it's a long story." When Sasuke continued to walk without questioning her further, Sakura decided she'd just tell him.  "But, um-- we had a mission here. There's an old Akatsuki hideout nearby. Team Guy and Team 7 discovered it when we pursued them after The Kazekage's kidnapping."

 Sasuke looked at her then, dark eyebrows up, clearly not expecting her familiarity of the landscape to have such a history. "A hideout? Where?"

 "Well it's rubble now," she offered, updating him on the story. "It got destroyed during our fight with Sasori."

 A small, unexpected snort came from the Uchiha and he closed his eyes as a smile touched his lips. "That explains how he died, then. He went up against the Kyubi."

 "Actually," Sakura smiled, happy to reveal her secret to him. "That was sort of my fault--the destruction."

 Sasuke's eyes snapped open again and he faced her fully this time. "You fought Sasori?" He asked it as if he didn’t expect her to be able to make much headway in such a battle. She crossed her arms, not sure whether she should be offended.

 "Don't act so surprised. I did kick your butt the other day."

 "Where was Naruto?" he asked, disregarding her statement entirely. He didn’t stop walking and was failing to feign disinterest in her story, pretending to be completely unimpressed.

 "After they extracted the Shukaku, Deidara took Gaara’s body from the cavern in an attempt to lure Naruto out on his own," she told him. "You know how Naruto is. He took off after him. If it weren't for Kakashi pursuing him, he would have met the same fate as the Kazekage.”

 Sasuke frowned at this information as he processed it. Sakura opened her mouth to continue when Sasuke asked, "They left you?"

 She grinned at the question. She had to be careful, because for a second there, she mistook his question for concern for her. "I wasn’t alone. I had Lady Chiyo with me. We faced Sasori together. If it weren't for her, I'd be dead."

 He watched her from the corner of his vision as they walked. "What happened?"

 Sakura winced at the memory of the blade that erupted from her middle. On reflex, Sakura reached up and brushed her fingers against the scar that marked the spot to the right of her left ribs. The poison had been the worst of it, that feeling of her burning veins as the toxic substance blackened her vision and tried to pull her under. If Lady Chiyo hadn't used the last antidote on her, she wouldn’t be here now, telling the tale. She would be forever grateful to the honored puppeteer for fighting alongside her and giving her and Gaara back their futures.

 "I took a hit," she replied after a thoughtful minute. "Lady Chiyo saved me."

 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

 Sasuke took it out on the fish. He targeted them as they flipped above the water, and the kunai he sent through them pinned them fiercely against the tree he was using as a back drop. They probably couldn’t eat more than a few fish a piece, but Sasuke killed nine, just because he felt like it.

 Sakura's revelation to him earlier had only ignited an anger inside of Sasuke. To think of those bastard Akatsuki members hurting his teammates, had Sasuke sinking back into a pensive disposition. Sakura had almost died, along with the Kazekage. Why was this the first time he was hearing about this? Because you don't care, the old Sasuke's hateful voice resounded in his head. It had been true. It was why he hadn't been there to protect them--to protect her.

 Sasuke tried to tell himself that if Kakashi had stayed with her instead of following Naruto, it wouldn’t have happened and that it was their fault. But the longer Sasuke kept thinking about it, he turned the blame on himself. If Sasuke had been there, he could have followed Naruto instead, or stayed with Sakura. Whoever this Lady Chiyo was, he was grateful to her for saving the life of his comrade. The guilty part of himself reminded him that he, himself had also tried to kill Sakura at one point in time.

  "Sasuke," Sakura called out to him, kindly. "I think that's enough fish, don’t you? Want to help me with the fire?"

 Sasuke jerked the fish from the kunai and cleared his simmering aura before walking back over to where Sakura sat next to a pile of branches she had constructed into a campfire. Inhaling, he formed the sign and ignited it with a fireball. He handed her the nine fish, sat and leaned back against a log to watch as she skinned them carefully and speared each one, placing it over the fire to cook.

 The sun was setting, a bright orange ball on the horizon that was reflecting off the river in a bright orange stripe. Fish continued to dive out of the water for the small fireflies that hovered just above the surface. The sight soothed him slightly, as nature always did.

 He sighed, trying to mentally come up with an excuse to not say what he was about to. After a second, Sakura looked over at him and he knew she was seeing right through his guarded behavior to the smoldering emotions beneath his skin. He leaned forward, finding contentment in the sound of the fire and the smell of a cooking meal. He humbled himself in that moment and said, "I'm sorry."

 Sakura looked at him through the fire, surprise apparent on her face despite the large flames. Her green eyes were a shocking contrast against the flickering red. "For what?" she asked softly, offering him one of those head-tilted smiles of hers.

 "For not being there," he mumbled, looking down at the dirt beneath his crossed legs. "You guys needed me, and I wasn’t there."

 "Sasuke," she grinned again, and stood. She removed a fully cooked fish from the fire and handed it to him before taking a seat next to him. "We didn’t need you. We wanted you there, and we need to know that you are our friend, but we handled it."

 Sasuke frowned at her with a sore expression. That kind of stung a little. Sakura nudged his side, laughing. "Stop blaming yourself for things that you had no control over."

 "You almost died," he reminded her bluntly. "Maybe if I had--"

 "That's the risk of being a shinobi. I wouldn’t be one if I wasn’t willing to lay down my life for my village." She said it with a voice that reminded the Uchiha of himself, an unwavering conviction that couldn’t be argued with. "Maybe, if I had gone into work," Sakura added suddenly, looking down at her hands guiltily, "that child from my clinic wouldn’t have committed suicide."

 At that, Sasuke focused hard on the flares of the fire, the roasted fish still held untouched in his right hand.

 "But that kind of thinking will consume us, Sasuke. We can't think like that," Sakura glanced up at him with a sober gentleness that made his heart beat. "Remember what we talked about in the alley, not too long ago?"

 Sasuke nodded, recalling their conversation. He had walked her home after she treated the new citizens that Sasuke had released from the Coliseum. He had been directly responsible for injuries as the result of battling them in order to win their freedom. During his conversation with her, he had told Sakura not to think the best of him. She had responded with "Let's forget the past." She had asked him if they could work on being better shinobi together.

 "We just have to learn from our mistakes, try to be the best person and shinobi we can be in the present, and stop blaming ourselves for the past," She leaned forward and grabbed a fish of her own, before leaning back and taking a bite out of it. After she swallowed, she grinned at him again, "And have a little more faith in me, would you? I'm not the girl who needs to be protected anymore. I can take care of myself."

 Sasuke had indeed, underestimated her if she had been able to take down Sasori. He knew that Sakura was strong and Sasuke was growing in his admiration for her more and more every day. He did have faith in her abilities; he had witnessed them himself.  But that didn’t mean he wouldn’t worry. It didn’t mean that he was going to just let her charge into a battle by herself. And that certainly didn’t mean he wasn’t going to spend every damn day for the rest of his life making sure no one ever hurt her like that again.

#approachingsun #sasusaku #Sakura Haruno #Sasuke Uchiha #ssfanfiction #sasusakufanfiction #sasukeshinden #sakura hiden #narutoshippuden #blank period #naruto fanfiction #naruto

[fiercyy]

For @mycherryqueen who requested: Genin Sasusaku

a/n: I would have responded directly but it wouldn’t let me fix my formatting if I did :) This is a genin AU, but I hope you like it anyway!

ao3 ffnet

if you can’t hold on, hold on

Post-Chunin exams attack AU. Sakura always wished she could relate to her teammates better, now she wishes she could take it back. Sasuke acquires some unwanted roommates and a team becomes a family.

.

.

She wakes up only to feel like she's still dreaming. It's like one of those nightmares where she can't move or scream, but desperately wants to.

Eventually she manages a gasp. It burns her lungs.

She feels crushed.

Her wide eyes stare at the ceiling. It's so white, it hurts. Her eyes dart around frantically until she regains use of her limbs.

She sits up a little, only to find movement unimaginably painful. Back against the pillows, she manages to turn her neck sideways to inspect a startling, sudden inhale.

She is unsurprised to find Naruto sniffling at her bedside. Big, wet eyes squint at her even as he wipes globs of snot from his nose. He snorts it up, practically hysterical. She's touched. She doesn't think she's seen him break down like that over anyone, not even Sasuke.

"It's okay," she tells him… or tries to. It comes out a rasp. Her throat feels so dry.

"Here." Gingerly, she turns to her other side. Sasuke is on his feet beside her, holding out a paper cup. "Help her sit up," he orders.

She shouldn't be shocked to see Naruto obey him, but she is. With more tenderness than she ever would have thought possible of someone so… exuberant, he slips an arm behind her shoulders and boosts her up.

Sasuke braces one hand on the back of her head and holds the cup to her lips. She blushes at his touch. She wants to take it from him, she feels to infantile, but at the same time it feels so nice to be cared for. This has never happened. She feels that the axis of their dynamic has shifted, but can't quite remember why.

"How long have I been out? What happened?" she croaks and blushes deeper, embarrassed to have Sasuke hear her discomposure.

"A week," Sasuks tells her tightly. It touches her to know he was worried.

"Have you guys been here the whole time?"

"Of course!" Naruto launches into a long explanation about the rest of the battle. He tells her all about Gaara, avoiding going into detail about how he'd beaten him. Awkwardly, he breaks the news about Sandaime-sama, but he finishes on a good note. There will be no war, Sand surrendered, Sound fled.

Sakura cries a few tears for the kind old man she grew up to serve.

"But it's all over now," she assures herself and them, "Everything will be okay now."

.

.

A few hours later a nurse comes in, interrupting the awkward silence that had settled over the team. They don't have much to talk about with all of them lost in their own thoughts. The nurse checks Sakura's chart and tells her how pleased she is to see her awake.

"I'm so sorry about this Haruno-san," and it's so strange to hear someone call her that, "But we're going to discharge you." The nurse bites her lip guiltily. "Do you have someone at home who can watch out for you?"

"Oh, yeah. My parents," Sakura shrugs sheepishly. She looks at her boys and feels guilty for this fact. It's always uncomfortable when families come up. She tries not to mention it.

She's also trying hard not to think about it. They're not here, but they definitely threw a fit when they heard she was hurt. They were overprotective like that. She'd be lucky if she could get out from under their smothering for weeks yet. She almost wanted to apologize to Sasuke for the scene her dad probably made.

"Excellent, I'll bring back some papers for you to sign and then you're free to go." She points an accusatory finger at the boys in turn, "Walk her home. Don't stress her out."

When she leaves, Sakura volleys a stare back and forth between her teammates. "What was that about?"

Naruto pokes his pointer fingers together and avoids eye contact. "We miiiiight have gone a little overboard bugging the staff about you. Bastard over there kept yelling at people who wouldn't tell us what's going on because we're not 'family'." Airquotes accompany the word. "We're teammates! That's almost closer than family…!"

His voice slowly fades in the background and Sakura gazes at Sasuke. All she can thing is 'He was worried about me!'

He starts to look uncomfortable and her grin gets even more huge.

.

.

Sakura walks home under her own power, but she can feel both her teammates hovering at her heels. A block from home she stumbles and finds a hand on each elbow. They've never treated her so delicately. It's starting to grate at her.

"Naruto, stop," she wrenches her elbow away from him but carefully doesn't jostle Sasuke's. She wouldn't want to insult him, even if it is equally annoying. "Really, I'm fine…"

"We know!"

"Hn."

When they arrive at her doorstep, all Sakura wants to do is hug her mom and dad and sleep. She doesn't invite them in, even though it's the polite thing. They've spent a week at her bedside and she should be grateful to know they care, but all she can think about is how once again, the two of them are fine. And she was the dead weight bringing them down. What did she do against Gaara? Nothing. It's pathetic.

"Bye, thank you."

"No problem Sakura-chan! Anytime. Ramen tomorrow?"

"…Maybe…"

"Give it a rest moron, she needs to recover."

"I know," he replies, spitefully.

Sakura sighs, a fond smile playing across her lips.

"Really, both of you…thanks."

After she's closed the door, her teammates remain for a moment.

"Did she seem off to you?" Naruto asked, staring at the house. All the lights are on, a cheery glow from every window.

"Hn." Though, he agrees.

"Maybe they shouldn't have let her out of the hospital yet, she-"

A sudden, blood curling scream echoes through the neighborhood.

"SAKURA!" Sasuke and Naruto shout back, scrambling for the front door.

What is it? An enemy ninja, hiding out in her house? A thousand scenarios flip through his head, each worse than the last.

He gets to the door first, but Naruto barrels right into it with his shoulder, breaking it down.

"Sakura! Sakura!" They shout frantically over each other, darting around.

As they pause to breath between shouts, they can hear heart rending hiccups and gasps coming from the room to the left. They follow the sound into what turns out to be the Harunos living room.

There, they find Sakura.

Two bodies have been thrown to the floor, like ragdolls. Sakura is wild, kneeling over her father's body, pumping his chest, over and over.

Kizashi is cold and gray, eyes staring, wide and unseeing, straight ahead. "Come on, come on."

Naruto kneels on Kizashi's other side and touches the carpet. His fingers come away rusty with crusted blood. Dried blood. They have lain here a while.

Sakura doesn't glance up to acknowledge their presence. She shows no signs of noticing them and never stops the chest compressions. She sniffs loudly, "It's okay, it's okay. It's a good thing we did that first aid training before the chunin exams so we could fix-" A hollow laugh, "It's going to be okay."

Her arms are strong, her compressions well-spaced and rhythmic. It's the perfect execution of the technique they were taught.

Sasuke stands stock still, staring at the other body. Sakura's mother lies in a similar patch of dried blood. He assumes it's her. Her head is missing.

He feels sick. This is too familiar. This is… how could this happen again? This was never supposed to happen to anyone else. How is Sakura supposed to deal with this? Sakura cries over stray cats and broken bones and stupid movies and him and Naruto. She's not equipped to handle something like this. It isn't fair. It isn't. What the hell happened here?

And for the first time, Naruto looks to him for answers, as if he were the preeminent expert on trauma. Which… he supposes he sort of is. "What do we do?"

Sasuke freezes. He honestly doesn't know. He's thrown back in time to being 8-years-old and running. Running until his legs gave out. Terror, crushing sadness and then numbness for a very long time.

Sakura seems to be labouring under the delusion that she can make a different, and isn't that just like her. He frowns and tries to gather himself. His mouth tastes like bile and his head is spinning.

Naruto is still staring at him helplessly while Sakura tries to snatch her father back from death. It's long too late, but still she tries. She won't stop until they make her.

"Sakura," he says sharply. She automatically looks up, meeting his gaze. Her rhythm falters. She panics and forces her attention back to his chest, pumping with more fervor than before. "Sakura," she shakes her head and tears stream down her face. They land in splashes on her pale hands. There is blood between her fingers, sticky and brown.

Sasuke finds it within himself to kneel at her side. His hands grasp her wrists gently. "Sakura, you have to stop."

She ignores him, trying to shrug him off without stopping her task. "No, no I can't. I can't. I can't stop. I have to keep going! I-" a broken sob chokes off her words.

More gently than he's ever treated her, he moves his hands to her shoulders. The inexorable pull of his hands seems to trigger something in her. She closes her eyes to her father's corpse and throws herself into Sasuke's arms. She presses her face into his chest and cries. For a moment he freezes, completely out of his death, unsure how to react.

He and Naruto make eye contact. The other boy widens his eyes and exaggeratedly crosses his arms, hugging himself.

Sasuke's brows knit together in confusion and Naruto rolls his eyes. He does it again and points to Sakura.

"I understand!" Sasuke mouths angrily, "I just-!"

Looking at her, broken, he realizes he doesn't have a choice here.

His arms wind around her and hold her close. He rubs slow circles into her back, the way Itachi used to do for him. He doesn't even think about it, he just associates the sensation with comfort.

Naruto falls to his knees at Sakura's back and throws his arms around them both. Sasuke wants to complain. Naruto's arms are like hot pipes, he holds them all together. Against all odds, Sakura's tremors slowly calm. They remain like that for a while, an intertwined security blanket.

Eventually, Naruto stands. "What do we do?" he reiterates, "We can't let her stay here."

Sasuke grimaces, "I…We'll take her to my place."

"Why not my place?" Naruto demands.

"Your place smells like spoiled milk and body odour."

"Hey!"

"I have a spare bedroom."

This seems to appease his teammate.

"Hey, Sakura?" Naruto pokes her shoulder. "We're gonna get you some food okay?" at Sasuke's cutting look, "What? Food makes everything better." Nothing could make this better.

Sasuke helps her stand and supports most of her weight. Slowly, they make their way out of the room. Naruto, standing in front, starts turn around to look around the room, as if he were missing something.

"Don't-!"

Too late. Naruto had instinctually scoured the room… and found Mebuki's head, which had rolled into the corner, under a side table. Her eyes are closed, her lids blue.

Naruto turns green, covers his mouth and bolts from the room. The sound of him retching echoes around the lonely emptiness of the Haruno household.

Sakura's arm, slung around Sasuke's shoulder, trembles. "Let's leave. Please." And it's the quiet, despondent please that gets to him. He can feel it happening; Sakura, slipping away like smoke climbing skyward. Like maybe she's burning, waiting for the chance to float away.

They amble across town to his apartment. It's in a good neighborhood; safe and clean, a block away from the hospital. It's only on the second floor, so even while practically carrying Sakura, it's no trouble getting to it. It once belonged to two of his cousins. While all the Uchihas lived in the family district on the outskirts of the village, some retained additional residences. Keiko and Akira were both medics and sometimes it was easier to spend the night nearby than make the journey all the way across town. It's yet another extravagance left to a sole heir, and one of the few he makes uses of.

He couldn't bear to go back, after it happened. He doesn't suppose Sakura will want to either.

He places her on the couch and Naruto hovers nearby.

"I think," he clears his throat, it's suddenly dry. "Maybe we should go get Kakashi."

Naruto jumps at the chance to be useful. "I'll go. Stay with her?"

Sasuke makes the effort to roll his eyes, to pretend everything is normal for a moment and he's just annoyed at Naruto telling him to do something he was planning to do anyway.

When he gone, Sasuke glances at Sakura and finds he's lost. What now? She's not crying anymore; she's just sitting there. Should he comfort her? He awkwardly lays a hand on her shoulder and she startles. The way she looks at him then, like she can't recognize him or her surroundings sends him into a familiar panic.

You are not eight years old anymore. You are not eight years old anymore. You are not eight years old anymore.

The air suddenly feels too thick, like the room is filling with smoke.

He closes the front door, with him on the other side, then slides to the ground.

Head in his hands, he can no longer keep himself from reliving That Day. He takes deep, shallow breaths and touches the cold tile of his hallway floor, to ground himself.

This isn't like that. This isn't like that at all.

It feels like hours, but also only minutes before he feels a hand ruffling his hair. He opens his eyes. Kakashi crouches in front of him, giving him as comforting a look as he can with just one eye.

"Yo."

"I don't think I've ever seen you cry before," Naruto says, not scornful, but awed. As if he had no idea Sasuke could.

He knuckles the tears away and clears his throat.

He had his moment and now it's over.

There is work to be done now.

"She's inside. What do we do?"

Kakashi seems to smile.

He leads the boys inside. They stay behind him, like they're hiding.

Kakashi approaches Sakura, who hasn't moved, even to slouch. "Sakura," he intones gently, but doesn't touch her. She looks at him like she looked at Sasuke, but it doesn't trigger the same surging wave of trauma. He offers her a smile. "May I get you cleaned up?" She has blood caked on her knees like mud. Her hands are rusty with it.

She presses her lips tighter together, but doesn't say no.

Slowly, so as not to startle her, Kakashi picks her up.

"Do you think one of you could go get Sakura a change of clothes? And I need another one of you to file a report," at this he raises his eyebrows meaningfully.

Someone needs to take care of the bodies. Over the past week, people have been pulled from the rubble, died from their injuries, they need to be identified. Protocol must be followed. The circumstances under which they were found must be recorded.

"I'll do the report," Naruto offers quickly, surprising everyone. Never in his life has he ever offered to do a single page of paperwork.

"You write like all your fingers are broken, I'll-"

"Sasuke, let me-!" he stops and looks away. "I don't think I can go back there…"

And he doesn't really blame him.

He doesn't want to go either.

But Sasuke considers himself the team leader and if he's learned anything from Kakashi-sensei, it's that leaders pick up the slack and take the most difficult tasks for themselves. You know, when they feel like it.

So Sasuke agrees and returns to the Harunos'.

Before today Sasuke had never been inside Sakura's house. He had walked her home- no, he hadn't. He had walked beside her when her home was on the way to his from wherever they were going.

He goes straight for the stairs and studiously keeps his gaze straight ahead, not letting it stray in the direction of the living room.

Going through her drawers, he feels like an invader. How much does she need?

She has shockingly little in the way of clothes. Her whole room is sparse, actually.

For the first time, he takes a moment to notice his surroundings. The house is small. Two cramped bedrooms and a bathroom on the top floor, a kitchen and living room on the bottom. It's sandwiched between two identical buildings.

All her furniture is very old, but well taken care of.

There's a cardboard box with a few weapons, polish, a whetstone and wire, haphazardly thrown together. He rolls his eyes, she should really take better care of-

Then he remembers it isn't the time.

He empties her dresser into a duffle he brought from home, she has a spare pair of shoes under her bed, he takes those too. In the bathroom he finds an overabundance of products. Why are there twelve moisturizers? He takes one; the biggest bottle since that seems the most practical, and her toothbrush.

Back in her room, he glances around for anything he missed. There's a knit blanket on her bed that looks ratty and hand made. He thinks about the stuffed cat he still has, stowed safely in his closet. The comfort of home might be helpful for her. He stuffs it in the bag.

.

.

Back at Sasuke's Sakura sits on the edge of the bath, dead-eyed and dead tired.

Kakashi patiently scrubs her knees and hands with a towel soaked in warm water. "Sakura," he murmurs. She glances at him and he gestures at her neck. "You've got some-"

Her hand flies to her neck and comes away brown. Her eyes widen and breathing stops.

Kakashi shushes her. "Don't worry, I've got it." And with surprising gentleness, he cleans this too.

They hear the front door open and close, both look up at the sound. "That'll be Sasuke with some clothes for you. Why don't you shower? I'll go check on our boys." He winks conspiratorially at her, "Can't leave them alone too long."

She doesn't smile or give any indication she heard him, but he didn't expect her to.

Kakashi meets Naruto in the living room with the intention of regrouping. He's bent over his half-written report, so intent he doesn't even notice his sensei come in.

Soon, Sasuke enters from the direction of the second bedroom.

"You did the right thing bringing her here and coming to get me," Kakashi assures them. "I'm sure this was hard for you both… Especially you Sasuke," the boy shrugs a shoulder in uncomfortable deference. "This is a lot to deal with, but it's not going to be a priority for the village. It may be a while before Sakura can expect help from that quarter."

"What kind of help?" Naruto asks.

"He means she might have to be here a while… It might take some time before someone can collect the bodies." It had taken a week back then. A month to have the compound cleaned.

"That's fine, isn't it?" blue eyes shift between his male teammates.

"Hn," they take this as assent.

"Guys… I've been writing the report and… what do you think happened to them?"

"Probably a Sound or Sand nin who was hiding out, or went rogue. I'd have to take a look."

"So it was just random," and Naruto can't grasp that, how the world could be so haphazardly cruel.

.

.

"Has she been in there a while?" Naruto remarks after a long stretch of just the shower filling the silence.

There is a pile of clothes, untouched at the threshold of the bathroom. Sweatpants, a sweater, underthings. Sasuke probably put it there. For a moment he lets himself be touched by his students actions.

Kakashi's mouth forms a grim line beneath his mask and knocks on the door. "Sakura?" he calls as the boys crowd behind him. No answer. "Sakura, I'm coming in."

The door is unlocked. He picks up the pile of clothes and sets it on the counter as he approaches the shower, on the far wall. He doesn't bother to close the door behind him. Sasuke and Naruto crowd the frame, looking concerned.

Kakashi calls Sakura's name again, but they can see her outline through the translucent blue vinyl. She's curled up on the floor of the bath. Kakashi peers behind the curtain, but doesn't pull it back.

In the fetal position, head pressed against her arms is a very lost little girl. Her pink hair snakes over her shoulders and in her face. The water has begun to run cold, goose bumps pimple her skin all over.

Kakashi turns off the water and throws a towel over her. "Ok, that's enough." Ever gentle, he helps her to her feet, ensuring the towel protects her modesty. He helps her out of the bath and shoots the frozen boys a look. They scramble to avert their eyes.

Sasuke shoves Naruto out into the hall and dashes after him. Kakashi chuckles.

He helps Sakura dress and leads her by the shoulders, into the living room. When she sits on the couch of her own volition, Sasuke drapes a wool blanket over her head and shoulders. She holds it to her face and inhales. Her tears are quiet now and there is life in her expression.

next.

(x)

#sasusaku #team 7 #sakura haruno #sasuke uchiha #Naruto Uzumaki #fanfiction #my fic #post-chuunin exam au #genin au #post chunin exam au #post chunnin exam au #chunin exam au #if you can't hold on #hold on

[vesperlionheart]

The Barn 7

[part1][part2][part3][part4][Part5][Part6] [Here]

To the rest of the watching world, it probably looked like a reaction to trauma.

The magic had been too wild and too wicked in her bones and the end result was the destruction of a medium: her hand. Even after the flesh was stitched back together and her bones mended, there was a phantom in her hand that haunted her without mercy.

Sakura woke up suddenly and the world was dark, just like the last few nights. Ever since she dipped into that well of magic and disturbed the waters, the nightmares wouldn’t leave her alone.

Would that be her fate once more; to swell with too much power, loose control and shatter so tragically? She saw it again and again in different ways each night. Her nightmares were as creative as her, and it was starting to gnaw on her.

Sakura sat up in bed and looked over at Konan who was still asleep. The older woman probably knew more than she was letting on. Sakura had caught Konan staring across the dinner table more than once, and there never seemed to be an end to her questions of concern.

‘Are you feeling well? Are you tired? Are you in any pain? What can I do to help?’

Konan was kind in a way Sakura didn’t know how to deal with. Sakura wasn’t sure she knew how to handle being pampered, but she was quickly realizing she didn’t like making Konan worry.

Sakura was extra careful leaving the large bed they shared. It was big enough that the shifting from one end had nothing to do with the other. Konan sleep on, undisturbed.

There were enough rugs layered up over each other, atop the edges of one another so that her steps were muffled and warm as she crossed the enormous room to the corner where the kitchen was.

The Barn was a single room downstairs, separated by a few Japanese rice screens painted with cherry blossom trees, a few short bookshelves, and other various objects of furniture.

Sakura walked the expanse, keeping the fabric of the white nightgown with the buttons close to her chest using her bad hand. She felt like she needed to use it for something, but didn’t want to fill it with magic again.

Everything was dark and the room was wide and long, but Sakura had been living in The Barn long enough, she knew where everything was and expected the shapes in the dull darkness.

She didn’t expect the spinning red eyes snapping open to pin her where she stood.

Sakura’s heart jumped. Magic jumped with her heartbeat and she felt it rising up to her hands before she knew what she was doing. But it was a split second reaction and she squashed the response as soon as she recognized what was happening.

“Madara,” she hissed, keeping her voice as soft and quiet as the angry edge in it allowed. “What are you doing you creeper?”

“You were awake.”

The red in his eyes bled away and he blinked, turning his face away as the color returned back to normal. When he looked up at her again his eyes were just as black as the sky outside. It was hard to see him in the dark, but there was enough moonlight to make out his outline.

“I was going to get some water,” Sakura said, nodding to the fridge. “You scared me.”

Madara nodded, humming. “You sure you weren't going to go for another walk in the fog until your toes turned blue?”

Sakura’s mouth opened and closed but no words came out.

There wasn’t much light to see by, but she could see the way his face shifted in an expression of frustration. He clicked his tongue at her.

“Don’t look at me like that,” Madara muttered. “I wasn’t trying to blame you or make you feel guilty for it.”

Sakura tried to make her voice work again. “What I do on my own in my own time is not...it doesn’t have anything to do with you. It’s nothing.”

“You don’t have to feel bad about it, I said I wasn’t blaming you.” He moved on the couch, scooting over so there was more room beside him. “Come here.”

Sakura crossed her arms over her chest and tilted her chin up at him. “I said I was up for a drink of water. I was going to go back to bed after this.”

Madara held out his hand for her to take. “Trust me for a quick mo’, my love?”

His voice was soft like velvet and Sakura loved the way he sanded off the edges of words like moment to make them sound soft. She wondered if that was his magic. If he had been born into a coven instead of a clan what sort of witch would he have been? Sakura wasn’t sure unlike with Konan and Gaara. Both were easy to pin, Konan was a paper witch and Gaara was a sand witch. Madara was the real mystery.

Sakura stepped to the couch but stopped at the edge of where he wanted her to sit. She remained standing, staring down at him.

“You know there is an Uchiha coven here? They’re far, location wise, but the Uzumaki heir Naruto is good friends with one of the Uchiha sons. That name mean anything to you?”

“You heard Kakuzu call me that, didn’t you?” Madara said. When Sakura nodded he smiled up at her. “Yes, it’s a family name. I’d believe it if they said they’re my descendants. My younger brother’s brood, no doubt.”  

“They don’t have red eyes like you.”

Madara looked surprised by her words. “They don’t? It’s the bloodline trait that we were famous for. Are you sure?”

Sakura glanced off to the side. “I don’t know, honestly. I only saw them once or twice and never really when they were using magic. It’s probably something they hide if they did have such an ability. I wasn’t as well connected as others in the family coven.”

Madara reached for her and this time she let him pull her down onto the couch to sit beside him. He didn’t try to do anything more than that, but held her hand on her lap and watched her think.

“Naruto isn’t a...terrible person. He’s immature and a little full of himself, but I know that’s largely because of how he was raised. He was heralded as the second coming of god if you listened to some of them talk about him and his brother. Menma is strong too, but Naruto’s the real golden child; mother’s favorite.”

“Were you close with either of them?”

Sakura shook her head slowly. “No, just the girls mostly. I was worried about the two that came through with you. Naruto isn’t a bad person so I don’t think he would do anything terrible to them.”

“And the other one, Menma you called him? Would he harm someone under him?”

“I don’t know, but I don’t think so.” Sakura closed her eyes and reached up to run her hands through her messy hair, wild and tangled. “I think they’re fine, but I can’t help but think it’s still a mess I have to fix.”

“You want to liberate Kisame and Zabuza from the heirs.” Madara’s words could have been about the weather they were so unbiased and casual. Still, he held her hand. “Are you blaming yourself for this?”

“Who else is there to blame?”

He leaned in closer to her, thumb rubbing the knuckles on her hand. “There are some things in this world that don’t require blame. It’s natural to want to explain messes and blame helps us do that, but this is not a burden you can shoulder all on your own. This is not your fault. Kisame and Zabuza are fine.”

“How do you know that?” Sakura hissed. “You don’t know what the family is like. I don’t know everything about them either, but I know enough to know they’re not to be messed with.”

“I doubt it is worse than the hell we were trapped in. You’re right, I don’t know what the family is like, and Karin wasn’t the most fun to be around when she got testy with the chains, but the years of genjutsu was incomprehensibly worse. Believe that.”

“You think they’re really fine?” Sakura asked in a whisper even quieter than all the other whispers shared between them.

“Neither likes taking orders very well, but they’re cut from the same cloth, so I know they’ll be fine. They know how to duck their heads and brace for blows well enough that a couple of teenage boys won’t be a problem.”

Sakura groaned, holding her face with her free hand. “They’re not teenagers anymore. None of us are. This is a serious matter, not a game.” She dropped her hand and the expression on her face was one of resolve. “I have to get them back.”

“Then what?”

She turned and looked at Madara, expression crumbling. “Would you have preferred it if I left you with Karin?”

“No, I’d rather be with you, but if things were different, I don’t know if I would have minded the bondage that much. There was plenty of food and nice things that kept me happy. It all paled in comparison to something else I wanted, though. I don’t think Kisame and Zabuza shared the same devotion to their savior as myself.”

Madara lifted her hands to his lips and ducked his face over her knuckles, touching his forehead to her fingers first before kissing the back of her hand in a tender show of reverence that was different than the flirty teasing he had shown in front of Konan and the others when they first met.

“I want this,” Madara whispered, touching her hand to his head again and hiding his face. “Here, I want to be here. Use me as you will. I can not be made whole without you, nor would I want to.”

Sakura tugged her hand away and he let her recoil from his touch. Madara’s face stayed downcast, but he moved off the couch to kneel in front of her and touch the front of her knee through her nightgown, fingers as light as a ghost’s.

“Madara…”

“Familiars or knights or chevaliers, it’s all the same, different words for the same devotion. Please, let me be sworn to your service.”

Sakura moved her knees to the side, away from his touch but Madara didn’t try to follow.

“I have no service. You’re asking for something that doesn’t exist. I’m not...witches only took human familiars during times of desperation or war. Any other time regular familiars were summoned from different realms and they’re always animals or creatures.”

“You speak of summoning contracts.”

Sakura waved her hand. “Whatever.  Before anything else, it’s a barbaric practice that robs a human life of complete free will. Some covens have it banned. The fact that you’re bringing it up like this makes it feel like you’re bracing for something and I’m not a part of that lifestyle. I’m barely even a witch.”

“You’re a great witch. There is deep power in you, and someone will try to take advantage of that, regardless of what you believe. You need to be ready to defend yourself.”

“I’m fine. I can take care of myself.”

Madara looked up at her sharply. “For how long and at what cost?”

Sakura glanced back over her shoulder at the form of Konan in bed to see if she had moved or was woken by their conversation. She was still in the sheets, but Sakura hissed and lowered her voice.

“That’s my problem. It doesn’t have anything to do with you.”

“I want it to have to do with me.”

“Shhhh, be quiet. Shush.” She waved her hand in front of his face and huffed when he didn’t react. “Listen, it’s not something I’ll discuss when I’m still worried about those other two. I have to fix one problem at a time and-and you don’t know anything about me. I’ve been building up magic up for years but-”

The words caught in her throat.

‘I’m broken.’

She looked down at her left hand and grabbed the wrist, bringing it close to her chest. There were still phantom pains there and she believed there always would be.

“Plus...I have a job and students I need to take care of. This wasn’t supposed to be my life.”

Madara watched her for a while, eyes narrowed keenly. After a while he nodded. “I understand. I was afraid you would hear this from someone else first and rushed my words. I didn’t mean to upset you.”

“You didn’t upset me.” Sakura still held onto her wrist but didn’t mention or gesture to it at all. “It’s just everything else right now.”

He looked up at her, eyes searching. “It’s a lot for you. We were born into this, bred for it even. I’ve always been an agent acting out tragedies with my chakra. I can’t imagine my life any differently, just like I can’t imagine how much of a shock this must be to someone like you.”

“Someone like me?”

He was still watching her. “You said I didn’t know anything about you, but I know a few things. You’re strong, in more ways than one, but you’re also proud and you’re not allowing others to see you suffer, which is why it’s walks through the fog until your toes turn blue.”

“It’s not like that.”

“Love,” he chuckled, rising to sit on the couch next to her. “I can see that much. Come here.”

He reached for her hair and started to comb through it using his fingers. Sakura turned her head away and he stopped her from pulling away with a soft whisper in her ear. He said it would help, so she stilled and let him comb her hair with his hands.

He worked all the tangles and knots out, then separated her hair into different parts. She felt him tug those parts up and then down. Some he tugged to the side before crossing with others. His fingers tingled on her scalp as he braided her wild hair back.

“There you are, Love,” he whispered into her ear before kissing the side of her forehead. “I’ve braided a charm in for peace and good rest, so back to bed. You’ll be better in the morning.”

And he was right.

When Sakura woke in the morning the braid was still intact, snaking down over her shoulder in neat plates she couldn’t believe stayed so well through her sleepe.  

And also, just like he said, Sakura felt well rested enough to address the issues without allowing them to overwhelm her. Her hand would be fine. She would be fine.

 It all would be fine.

There is something called the body problem. Taking on a familiar requires a sacrifice of equal or greater value that must be paid in flesh and blood. It might as well be necromancy for how accepted it is in the realms of magic.

Mito paid for Kakuzu with a body, a man was killed for the lowest level binding contract and sacrificed on that altar. Out of the still warm flesh she wove Kakuzu’s spirit into the body and bound him to her with a silver thread of fate pooled around the spindle in her heart.

If Sakura were to take on any of the recently summoned as familiars she would need to find a way around the body problem, because there was no way she was killing someone to fashion vessels of flesh for anyone.

But what did that leave her with?

Could she substitute the human with the animal? Not if she wanted them to speak like bleating calves or cluck like chicken.

Could she use a long dead corpse from a grave, or maybe one freshly dead from natural causes? Not if she wanted them to be able to live. If she brought them back using a corpse they would be no better.

Could she make a contract with them without a body? Not unless she had an unending source of magic to sustain their form. She didn’t have enough magic to sustain herself and another person for longer than...maybe a few weeks.

Sakura had a body problem.

After Gaara’s visit she asked the three living with her to stay at home while she was out, and not to stray for fear of the Uzumaki taking some form of action.

Three more days passed and the weekend arrived, but Sakura wasn’t planning on staying home for it.

“It’s not an invitation, but I’m willing to bet Naruto and Menma will be there, so I thought I would invite myself.”

Sakura tossed down a local newspaper in front of Konan and Madara. Gaara was still in the kitchen scrambling eggs.

“What does it say?” Gaara asked.

“Settlement Day Weekend Celebration,” Konan read out loud so that Gaara could hear. “It looks like a sort of celebration local to the community of Providence. What does this have to do with those boys?”

Sakura reached over Konan’s shoulder and pointed to the caption under the photo, listing several family names who were present in the photo. Among those names was a Kushina Uzumaki and Tsunade Senju. Both women were seated at a long table in the photo with several other older women who were ‘lifelong patrons’ to the community. The other photos on the page showed kids and families enjoying the booths and reenactments.

“The Uzumaki family always attends. They’re big on being a visible force in the community, whatever that means. They like to throw their money around often enough. Naruto and Menma don’t follow the traditions well when it comes to representing the family, but they are always there for Settlement Day and the Harvest Moon Festival and the Hallow’s Eve Festival and the Autumn Carnival.”

 Sakura paused to stare down at her fingers, suddenly realizing how many festivals and carnivals they had in the autumn months.

 “It’s the most fun part of their burdens, so they’ll be there if there are games and the like.”

“But that doesn’t mean they would bring Kisame or Zabuza, would it? If they didn’t have control over them don’t you think they would leave them behind?” Konan asked, looking back at the photo. “Zabuza and Kisame don’t look like any of these people. They’ll stand out too much.”

Sakura felt a roll of guilt in her gut, but spoke out anyway, ignoring the feeling. “If it was me, I’d transmutation them into animals or something else and bring along. If I had to...and was a bad guy, I mean.”

“You can do that?” Madara asked, looking up at her with a grin that reached his eyes.

“I wouldn’t do that, it’s wrong,” Sakura quickly replied.

Madara hummed, waving his hand between the pair of them. “Not at all. You have the power, use it. That’s your right. Plus, something like transformation isn’t even harmful.”

“Transmutation,” Sakura muttered in correction. “And even if something is not harmful, that doesn’t mean it’s ethical. I wouldn’t do something like that unless they were dangerous and aggressive. If that’s what auntie really did for her sons, then it’s because she just wants to control the situation more fully.”

There was a noise in the kitchen as Gaara finished and set the pans aside to dry from their washing. The last of the food he had cooked was on his plate sitting next to the sink. He picked it up and brought it with him to the table, joining the rest of the group.

“So what are you going to do about it?” the redhead asked. He angled his fork into the egg and bacon mix to scoop up a mouthful.

Konan pushed a tall glass of milk towards Gaara to help him wash down his breakfast while still staring at the photos in the newspaper. There were several more once she flipped open the pages, and even more writing about the history and traditions surrounding their celebration. The more she read, the more her eyes narrowed. Sakura didn’t know what that meant, but she knew it wouldn’t change her resolve.

“I’m attending the event. I want to confront Naruto and Menma first about this and hopefully it won’t come to blows like it did with Karin. I don’t think I could win a fight against both of them.”

“Not with chakra reserves like those,” Madara whistled before leaning back and looking up at Sakura. “But I’m sure you could find a way to be creative about turning the tides in your favor. Magic or chakra or whatever rules your power isn’t the only thing that decides a victor. Kisame has more chakra than I, but you think that oaf could take me?”

Konan snorted, breaking concentration just long enough to look up from the page and smirk at the Uchiha. “You’re full of yourself.”

“Because it’s true. How you use your abilities is almost always going to be more important than how many abilities you have. You’re a smart girl. Fight smart.”

“I didn’t want to fight at all if I can help it.”

“Sounds like you need a shinobi, master of deception and all that,” Konan joked, looking back at the paper.

“Or two,” added Gaara.

“Or three,” Madara corrected strongly. He turned in his seat and reached for Sakura’s arm, grabbing for her wrist. “Or just one. Remember what I told you.”

Sakura swallowed and nodded. “It won’t come to that. I think I’ll be able to reason with Naruto if I can get him apart from his mother. His brother will be harder, but as long as auntie doesn’t get involved I shouldn’t need to lift a drop of magic from my pools.”

“So what does that mean for you?” Gaara asked, watching her.

Sakura tapped the paper’s headlines. “Vendor stalls opened at seven but attractions don’t start until ten. I’ve got an hour and twenty minutes to get ready. If you want to tag along be ready by then.”

#The barn #Barn #Sakura #Madara #Gaara #Konan #Kakuzu

[yakashi-lover]

Can we talk about Kakashi for a second please?

I see the argument a lot about whom in Naruto had that saddest life and the votes often sway between Naruto, Gaara and Sasuke… But I want to talk about Kakashi and why I believe he had the saddest life in the series. Naruto, Gaara and Sasuke may have had terrible childhoods but Kakashi’s overall life was terrible.

Here’s a rundown:

- He lost his Mother probably before he could speak.

- He grew up with just his Father and admired the hell out of him.

- His Father chose death over him and left him alone in the world at the age of 5.

- He hides his face. The assumption being he wants to be taken seriously at such a young age and now he does not want people to be reminded of his Father when they look at him.

- Instead of playing with his friends after the Academy he was forced to fish for his dinner and cook for himself.

- He spent his afternoons and weekends cleaning his huge empty house.

- He spent years saying hello and goodbye to no one because he was lonely and couldn’t accept how alone he felt.

- He slept in his kitchen. My assumption being because he felt too alone in his bedroom. It reminded him of a life he did not have anymore. A childhood.

- He was rejected by the adults of the village and forced to be teamed with people beneath him as no one wanted to work with him. How lonely.

- All he knew was what happened to his Father and what had caused it. Of course he was going to be a stickler for the rules after that incident.

- Being a stickler for the rules caused him to make a decision that cost him one of his only friends. This decision quite literally haunts him for the rest of his life.

- After vowing to protect Rin she decides to commit suicide by running in to his charged Chidori. This causes him to have PTSD and nightmares long in to his adulthood.

- He begins reading “how a Shinobi should die” a nod towards the fact that Kakashi himself is thinking of committing suicide. After all what does he have to live for?

- He withdraws completely from any attention his classmates give him. He despises himself and does not believe he is worthy of affection of any kind.

- He begins to put up walls and keep people at arm’s length. If he doesn’t love anyone, he can’t be sad when they die.

- His Sensei, the one precious person he has left decides that to mend his broken heart he will be assigned to the ANBU.

- Kakashi’s only purpose in life at this point is to work for the Village. He lives for the mission but Minato assigns him to guard Kushina. This no doubt gives Kakashi lots of time to think and dwell on his past mistakes.

- Minato is killed and Kakashi finally loses his last precious person. He withdraws in to himself once again. Continuing to have nightmares and flashbacks without the emotional support he needs to get through them.

- Kakashi makes another friend, Tenzo. Tenzo is then assigned to kill Kakashi and take his Sharingan. Luckily for Kakashi this works out alright in the end and they remain friendly.

- Kakashi becomes the Captain of team Ro and begins to relax a little. He even goes so far as to tell Itachi Uchiha that he is there for him if he needs to talk.

- Itachi Uchiha betrays Konoha, killing his entire Clan and defecting from the Leaf.

- Kakashi puts his walls back up, annoyed at himself for letting them down for such a vile human.

- Fast forward to Kakashi being forcefully pulled out of the ANBU and taken away from everything he has known for the last 12ish years.

- He is forced to teach children and he feels as though his ANBU subordinates are laughing at him. “The Genin Babysitter.”

- He enforces strict rules for the Genin passing his test. These rules have come from Kakashi once again taking a bad life experience and making it a lesson. This time it works for him.

- He rejects several teams for not understanding his criteria. This causes the Village to gossip about him. He earns the reputation of being a hard-ass.

- When he eventually does pass a team he does not think much of them. He sees his old team in them and quietly vows to not repeat the past.

- We see Kakashi soften slightly as he teaches these children. He learns things about himself and actually starts to enjoy life a little bit for the first time probably since his Father passed.

- Kakashi is trapped inside Itachi’s Tsukuyomi and physically tortured for 3 days straight. When he is woken up/heeled by Tsunade instead of being asked if he is alright, he is mocked by her for not being smarter.

- Kakashi tries his hardest to prevent Sasuke from leaving the Village but is called away for an important mission. Something he cannot help or refuse.

- He is blamed for Sasuke leaving, most heavily by himself.

- His last 2 students then proceed to leave him as well to be trained by people more superior to him.

- He feels overwhelming responsibly for Sasuke’s defection and he feels guilt that he did not give Naruto and Sakura the attention they deserved.

- The Village expected too much of this emotionally stunted ex-ANBU. He had no experience with children and frankly, he didn’t want it. He was forced in to his roll and then ridiculed for his inevitable failure.

- This goes for the fandom as well. Kakashi did the best he could for Sakura considering his circumstances. He focused on Sasuke because he was desperately trying to prevent him from becoming the adult Kakashi already was. He knew that someone else was a better fit for Sakura and he was probably actually happy when Tsunade took over her training because he had no idea what to teach her himself. This does not mean that he didn’t feel guilt though for not trying harder. He is always harder on himself than anyone else ever could be.

- Fast forward to Shippuden. Kakashi is wounded on their first mission back and forced to stay in the hospital as his team is led by his Kohai. In his eyes, Yamato is taking his place.

- He can no longer train Naruto by himself and if forced to enlist Yamato’s help. He feels weak.

- Kakashi is killed in battle. He died honourably and will not doubt have his name engraved on the stone next to his friend’s.

- He manages to speak with his Father, telling him he forgives him for what he has done. My take on this interaction is that as Kakashi himself has considered suicide in the past he feels he finally understands his Father’s pain and why he did what he did.

- He is revived and wakes up once again in the hellhole he calls earth.

- He finds out after Itachi is killed what really happened with him and is not allowed to react or talk about it. He no doubt feels even more guilt for not realising what was happening and being there for his friend.

- Fast forward to the war when it turns out that the person Kakashi had been mourning for roughly a decade was not actually dead. He stands up in front of the entire Shinobi population and tells them that this war is essentially Kakashi’s fault for killing Rin. Something he did not mean to do and had no control over. Something he had been completely destroyed by since the second it happened.

-  He manages to reconcile with Obito and then has to watch him die once again, bringing back all that pain tenfold.

-  After the war is over he is then forced in to a position he did not want. The Hokage. He could not refuse such an honour, but we all know he did not want the job.

- Kakashi, a man that lives for the mission forced to sit behind a desk and do paperwork for the rest of his young life. By this point he has grown enough that he might actually consider letting someone behind his walls. A time of peace, where he might finally have the time and freedom to find himself a partner. But he spends it behind a desk and remains single until well in to his forties (perhaps until he dies). We will never know.

Did I forget any-fucking-thing?? 

Yes Naruto and Gaara had horrible childhoods. They were feared, hated, lonely and scared. But ultimately their lives all worked out for them. They grew up to become the village hero, married with Children. The Kazekage with a loving family, soon to be married. (I think?)

Sasuke is a different story and I will not go in to that on this post. But he chose his options and he is now lying in the bed he made. Regardless of how he went about it, he still has a devoted wife and child to come home to if he wants. While Kakashi is still alone to this day, working in a job he did not want for the sake of the Village. That is and always will be his life’s purpose regardless of how he feels internally.

#Kakashi Hatake #Hatake Kakashi #Kakashi #Rokudaime #Character study #Naruto #Naruto Shippuden #character breakdown #tw suicide #suicide #trigger warning #depression

[vesperlionheart]

The Barn 4

[part1][part2][part3][here][Part5]

Sakura made dinner for three, hating how she knew in her bones that she would only need three servings. Tayuya’s seed of worry was sprouting in Sakura’s mind. She started to fixate about the reasons Kakuzu didn’t return her calls.

Her phone was on the counter, dark and silent. No missed called, no unread text messages.

‘Wrong, wrong, wrong.’

“Were you in danger?”

Sakura blinked and looked up, realizing for the first time that Konan was speaking to her. Sakura’s thoughts had drifted again.

“I’m sorry. What were you saying?” Sakura asked.

Kona smiled apologetically. “No, it was sudden. I meant about earlier, with the other girl that came here. She was wild with magic all through her, but that didn’t change when you showed up. I didn’t think that meant danger but when I thought about it later...it’s not normal for shinobi or your sort of people to be flaring their chakra-I mean magic, like that. It’s wasteful.”

“It’s Tayuya. That’s her MO, what she’s known for. She’s all wild all the time. You can’t get the drop on her, and she’s the sort of person you want on your side. For better or for worse, she’s...always dangerous, all the time.”

Sakura grinned out of the side of her mouth, not realizing she was even doing it until she caught the reflection of her face in the water glass. She let the expression fall away. Old memories always felt fonder the further she grew from them.

Memories weren't much different than scars.

“It didn’t sound like there was much use for being dangerous in this strange new world,” Gaara said, licking his lips. The chances that he was thinking about that drink were high.

“Not for me, no, I’m not really immersed in that world. The rest of the coven, the family, they do the dangerous stuff. I don’t know exactly what, because we weren't that tight, but it made Tayuya look good.” Sakura shrugged. “I guess I didn’t have enough faith to blindly pledge my services like she did.”

“What is the dangerous stuff?” Gaara asked.

Sakura waved her hand dismissively. “No idea. Maybe they’re beheading dirty politicians in the Ukraine or dealing with forces over the veil. For all I know they’re playing board games with the devil on Wednesdays. What was the sort of dangerous stuff you did when you guys were shinobi in your old world?”

“Fighting, killing people, escorting clients through dangerous territories. It was full blown war at the end,” Konan answered.

“You didn’t look like you were dressed for war when you first were summoned,” said Sakura.

“You can thank whoever it was that tethered our spirits to the wood of this place. When our souls were bound we were influenced by the era of this place. That was over a hundred years ago. You’ve not seen us in our traditional garb.”

Sakura whistled low. “I didn’t know this place was that old.”

Konan grinned. “We were built into it.”

“And it was over one hundred and twenty years ago,” Gaara added. When Konan narrowed her eyes at him quizzically he just pointed to a book left on the end table with the title, Local Providence History.

“I didn't know you read,” Konan whispered.

Gaara made a face. “You thought I was illiterate?”

“I...just didn’t know you read. There wasn’t a lot of reading material in the mad genjutsu warping word.”

“How did you think I ran a country if I couldn’t read?” Gaara glared at Konan but then whipped his face around to Sakura and his expression went from agitated to desperate. “I can read, I’m not illiterate. I read lots of things.”

“I believe you,” Sakura said, failing to not see his desperate face as cute. He was too easily adorable.

“Are there many like her?” Konan asked. “Crazy like a wildfire and ready to go?”

“Tay is a hurricane, she’s a wind witch like a lot of the main family members. Karin is a blood witch, and I’m a bone witch. Some of the Uzumaki women are dual witches, possessing more than one speciality, but the dominate trait is almost always wind.”

Sakura rolled her eyes, remembering how that classification brought with it a sense of superiority she missed out on. She wasn’t of ‘pure’ stock, they told her.

“Shinobi specialize in different areas of study, and we have natures to our chakra, but it’s funny that we don't limit ourselves to one trait,” said Konan. “I think you would have done well as a shinobi.”

“I’m barely a witch,” Sakura scoffed. “I’m not a part of that lifestyle, remember?”

“You’re not like the other girl, but that doesn’t mean you're not dangerous,” Gaara said.

Sakura felt weight settled into her when Gaara looked across the table at her. She felt like he could suddenly see right through her. She had been turned transparent for him to see the parts that she had ignored or pretended to never have in the first place. She hadn’t touched magic in six years but it had touched her, like it or not. He knew that. He saw that.

Sakura lowered her eyes and reached for the glass of water, sipping more to give herself something to do and less to actually drink. She couldn’t meet his eyes in that moment. Sakura didn’t want to be dangerous.

“It doesn’t seem like the others are coming back tonight. Were you expecting them later?” Konan asked.

She stood up to collect their plates and take them to the kitchen sink. Sakura rose to follow her and help. Gaara picked up what was left of the food and carried it over to the stove. There was a little of the Sheppard’s Pie left that Sakura helped him put away in a plastic tub.

“I was expecting a call from him, actually.” Sakura slipped the lids over the Tupperware and then placed the plastic in the fridge. “He should have contacted me by now but none of my calls or texts have been answered. I’m not worried, because I’m sure those guys can take care of themselves, but I don’t like this feeling.”

“Do you have classes to teach tomorrow?” Konan asked.

Gaara grumbled, sending an annoyed look over to Konan. “They can take care of themselves. She doesn’t need to do anything for them.”

Konan waved a hand in his direction to shush him before turning to Sakura and waiting for an answer.

Sakura nodded. “I do have classes in the morning, but they’re early. I’ll be done by mid day. I don’t think I have meetings either, just office hours.”

“You have to be there for the whole time?”

Sakura felt a grumble in her heart. “I don’t need to be there exactly. I can say there is a family issue I need to see to and leave if I don’t have any appointments on the books with students. It doesn’t look good, but…”

She had never sacrificed any of her work or school life for witchery work. It didn’t set well with her that one lifestyle crossed over to her main lifestyle. She was worried about being professional at the university, not the number of black cats that crossed her path.

“You don't need to do anything for them. No one can force Madara to do anything he doesn’t want to and the others will be just as fine. What’s the worse that can happen when they’re here, where it’s super safe all the time?”

Gaara didn’t mean for his words to make her worry, but that’s all they did for the rest of the night and into the next day.

Sakura left Gaara behind, not having the heart to wake him and take him with her before the sun was up. After her first class a few students from her lecture yesterday peeked in to see if Sakura was with the new TA hopeful and were disappointed when Sakura said that today was ‘the love boat's day off.’ The gaggle of girls were all a tizzy on their way out.

Before long it was lunch time and she was in her last lecture. When that ended she checked her emails from her phone one last time and saw that there were no outstanding meetings planned by any of her students or the rest of the faculty.

She took the free time to make her copies and prepare the materials for the next day’s lesson. She planned a pop quiz but then scrapped that when she realized she hadn’t finished covering the chapter. With the new textbook update the old chapters were all split and she had to wait twice as long to give a test that was also twice as long.

Sakura paused in her cubicle to check her calls. Just like her messages, there were none from Kakuzu.

She made the copies anyway and saved them for later. With her things put together Sakura grabbed her bag and the untouched drink off her desk and headed for the parking lot.

When she got home Gaara was there, almost simmering until she offered him the frappuccino. He melted like a cat for the apology/bribe. Konan looked up from the book she was reading and frowned when she saw Sakura’s expression.

“What’s the matter?” Konan asked.

Sakura hated what she had to say, wishing she didn’t have to even as the words started to spill from her mouth. “Those boys aren’t coming back unless I go get them myself.”

“Kakuzu told you this?” Konan asked, standing and looking worried.

“No, he didn’t tell me anything, and that’s how I know it’s bad. I’m going to change and then I’m heading back out. Is there a way you could be discreet and mobil?”

Konan took a stew forward and unfolded into a hundred pure white papers that flapped noisily onto themselves and then folded up again and again until she was an origami flower pretty enough to wear as a hair decoration.

Sakura nodded to Gaara. “And you?”

He narrowed his eyes at Sakura, still sucking up cold drink through the lime green straw. “I’m not hiding.”

“It’s not hiding, I just don’t want them to see you and try to keep you behind too.”

“I’m not leaving your side and I’m not staying behind. They can’t make me, so I’m not hiding,” he answered in a matter of fact tone. He didn’t sound like he would entertain any dissuasion.

“You don’t know the Uzumaki.”

Gaara shrugged. “They don’t know me.”

Sakura set her mouth into a line and nodded, inwardly willing herself to stay neutral and not let her expression slip to show anything.

“Fine. I won’t let them take you if you don’t want to. I’m not as strong as the Uzumaki main house members, but I’ll be strong enough. Just wait for me to change.”

Sakura cleaned up and peeled off the pencil skirt and nude stockings. She had a long sleeved dress as black as pitch with a deep cut in the front. It stopped around her knees in heavy folds that lifted when she twirled. Sakura stepped into pointed black heels that made her feel ten feet tall and sounded her approach like a warning on the right type of floors.

Sakura almost left the bathroom after that, but paused to look herself over again. She redid her eyes and lips with the darker colors and blew a kiss to her reflection. She looked like a witch again and that was half the power struggle.  

Sakura slipped a small woven purse over her shoulder and checked to make sure her chalk and totems were all in place.

When she lifted the paper flower that was Konan to clip into her hair the outside of the paper turned back and curled to match the rest of Sakura’s image.

“Are they far, this Uzumaki family?” Gaara asked.

Sakura reached for a stick of chalk encased in a mother of pearl handle. She blew on the end and then tapped the hardwood before bending down to draw a long, intricate seal in a counterclockwise pattern with perfect lines and unforgiving edges. In the center of the seal she drew an eye open sideways.

“Stand with me in the center, Gaara,” she said while holding out her hand for him to take.

He reached for her but skipped her hand to just take her arm and wrap it around his own. He pressed close to her side and she felt the warmth of him.

Arm in arm, Sakura refocused her attention and pushed her magic into the seal. It wasn’t the neatest of all her work, but when it hummed under her, her bones sang happy and she knew she had done a good enough job.

There was a pull downward and Sakura felt the pressure before her magic buffered both her and Gaara and then the snap that tore the world into a new shade of white made her jump. The world bled back into color and slipped slowly into focus.

Gaara leaned on her and she held him steady until the spinning stopped.

“Where are we?”

Sakura opened her eyes and looked up. All around them was white gray marble veined with black and blue. The stood on a dias that was burned with a seal of its own.

Sakura stepped down and tugged Gaara with her before heading to the seamless door that responded with just a touch. “The is the receiving hall. Come on, the real manor is a little further down.”

Outside the door there was a path made out of tan gravel and white crushed shells. It was shaded by slouching trees with branches as wide as they were long. It was a fair walk before the path curved towards a white colored house with marble columns and a cascade of history in every step.

Sakura led Gaara up the front stairs and didn’t bother knocking. The door opened as they approached and a footman stood to the side, eyeing them as they walked in.

“Where is Kakuzu?” Sakura asked, stepping over the threshold.

“He is occupied at this moment with the young masters. If you would like to wait in the parlor Dame Sakura, I shall let him know you’ve arrived.”

Sakura felt her lip curl at the title. “There’s no need for that. He’s expecting me.”

It was a lie. Kakuzu probably thought she was cowering at the house, ignoring the issues like she had for all of six years. She had never been much of a witch, and dressing up in dark colors didn’t change it.

All her life she had been second class, never good enough, a castaway afterthought of a girl. She had never tried to be anything else, so why would anyone expect her to waltz into the home of the largest and arguably most powerful coven on the East Coast looking like she belonged?

“There’s a lot of shinobi here,” whispered Gaara, drawing close to her side.

“You mean witches.”

“No, shinobi. Witches, yeah, but there are more than just Madara and Kisame and Zabuza here. I can feel their chakra. Shinobi aren’t the best when it comes to masking their powers unless they are a sensor type.”

“You recognize anyone?” Sakura asked, keeping her voice low as she turned down a new hallway and led Gaara towards the offices where Kakuzu should be. She remembered the way from when she came in last week to represent her claim in the late Mito will.

Gaara yanked on her arm and Sakura stopped. Gaara pointed off to the opposition hall. “Down there. I can sense Madara.”

“The others?” Sakura echoed.

“Maybe, but Madara is the easiest to notice.”

Sakura stood where she stopped, looking down the hallway to where Kakuzu’s office was. It was only a few doors down. Nothing about it stood out. There was no magic running around the exterior like other doors in the same hallway. No peering eyes either.

Sakura turned on her heel and headed in the direction Gaara pointed out. “Let’s go,” she said, threading her arm into his once more.

The doors seemed to warp and stretch. Sakura felt the webbing of an illusion even as Gaara muttered something about ‘genjutsu’ in her ear. It was easy enough to step through and ignore without much bothering. Lesser mortals would have been caught right away. Sakura wasn’t one of those anymore.

Gaara stopped at a door and Sakura bit back a groan before pushing open the first door.  The Uzumaki library was the envy of all bookworm girls, as long and tall as the ones in the city, and just as stocked. Several fireplaces warmed the corners and in front of one of those fires, a beautiful redhead sat nursing a short glass burning with liquid amber.

Karin looked up and the fire reflected in her glass, making it look like she nursed the burning flames in her palms. Her eyes, once half lidded and drowsy, flashed wide with brilliant color as a smile stretched wider and mad across her ruby lips.

She stood and turned, the silk of her dress sliding down over her hips like hands, leaving little to the imagination. Karin was just as stunning as Sakura remembered. The redhead had perfect nails and diamonds on her fingers, sparkling like a piece of art. It hurt to look at her.

“Sakura!”  

Up on the higher levels Madara leaned far over the railings. He gripped the metal once and then heaved himself up and over, falling through the air for two stories before touching down in front of her in a low crouch that disturbed nothing in the air. He sprang up and reached for her hand but as he moved a gold chain materialized and yanked him back towards Karin. He snarled.

“You bitch, if I had my chakra-”

“But you don’t,” Karin drawled. She raised her fist, wrapped over and over with layers of gold chakra binds. “Stupid, old fashioned fool. You’re a mess waiting to happen. Did you bring the other ones to me, cousin?”

Gaara growled, standing closer to Sakura even as Madara’s eyes flashed. Something kept the red out of his irises.

“I was afraid of something like this. Where is Kakuzu and the others, Karin?” Sakura asked, fixing her posture into one of casual defiance. This was the game between them.

“Auntie said we needed to help you out. You’re in over your head, dearest cous,” Karin cooed, her voice sluggish.

Sakura narrowed her eyes, noticing the red bite marks on the underside of Karin’s one arm. They were out in the open like she wasn’t even trying to hide them anymore.

“What did they do to you?” Sakura breathed, heart hammering fast in her throat. Those were fresh bites and old bites both.

“I’m getting by, cous,” Karin chuckled, closing her eyes and letting her head roll to one side. Her hair fell off her neck and several more bites showed up along the pale of her neck. Her posture was one step away from lethargic.

Sakura felt anger in the roots of her teeth. She wanted to tear apart something with her jaws, soaked heavy in magic. Karin was one of them! How could they? She was a contender for the next matriarch or patriarch of their coven.

“Who?” Sakura managed to ground out.

Karin’s eyes flashed with anger. “Don’t growl at me like you care. You’re not a part of this anymore. You should go now, before auntie comes looking. You know how she is when it comes to her babies and Naruto and Menma will be here soon.”

“Why? Did you call them?” Sakura huffed.

“Don’t need to. There are eyes in half these walls, you know. You walked right into it, cous. You can’t get much stupider than that.”  Karin clicked her tongue on her teeth and shook her head. “I thought you were smarter than that, little miss PHD, or was it PTSD, I can’t remember.”

Karin set her scotch glass down and wiggled her fingers in Sakura’s direction. Magic simmered in the air between them and Sakura drew up her own magic to meet it. There was the sound of cracking when their magics met and Karin grinned.

“Let Madara go, now.” Sakura’s voice left no room for argument. “He’s going back with me, along with the others.”

“Oh?” Karin cooed, her lips forming a perfect O. “Are we really going to get into it here, of all places? Really, Sakura. I thought you had more class than that.”

“Let go of the chains.” Sakura glared at the way Madara strained with the shackles around his neck and wrists.

“Or what?” Karin shook the chains and drew Madara closer, forcing him backwards onto his heels. “You going to actually duel me here?”

“Let him go.” Sakura pushed Gaara behind her.

Karin looked hungry. She wrapped the chains around her fist once more before yanking sharply and jerking him back off his feet and over the back of the couch. Something snapped, splintering into stalks of shredded wood upon impact. Madara crashed down with a groan while Karin stepped forward, climbing up the cushions and over the back of the couch in her heels and skirts, never caring for gravity. Behind her the chains snaked up and pinned Madara down to the floor, freeing her hands for more nefarious and dangerous magic. Red magic crackled around her.

“Last warning, let him go.”

Karin raised her hands. “Make me.”

Sakura surged.

#The barn #barn #Sakura #Madara #Karin #Gaara #Konan #Gaara really likes Starbucks #Sakura and Karin are two halves of the same coin #blood and bone witch #witch sakura #I've always liked KarSak more than inosaku #personal preference #I couldn't help myself