#(for my health and aging course)

[seance]

WHO AM I TO YOU? I AM THE ANTICHRIST TO YOU.

#ofmdedit #ourflagmeansdeathedit #ofmd spoilers #ofmd #our flag means death #edits #useravia #userbecca #usernoobie #userelio #blackbonnet #gentlebeard #still so lost on the ship name i'm a fake fan fr #rs: you make me happy #if anyone doesn't want to be tagged feel free to let me know of course ♥ #and if could all just collectively pretend this mess of a typography work is not an eyesore #my fragile mental health would be grateful #def in an awkward stage of transition towards another style and i just have to accept it. embrace the mess #anyway. i've been wanting to use this song for someone for ages so let's go babes #we're all both the monster and the lover in someone else's story am i right #flashing gif /

[the-audacity-of-this-btch-13]

if I had a nickel for every time I watched a Nicholas galitzine movie where they bring up an important issue in society and then just swiftly brush it under the rug I'd have two nickels, which isn't alot but it's weird that it happened twice

#the more I think about purple hearts the angrier I get #like she commits fraud #I support women's wrongs too clearly #To save her life because the American health care system is bullshit #And then they just never bring it up again #And she's so steadfast on her opinion of the military and then it just changes for no apparent reason #Also the sit moment at the beginning pissed me off #Like they made it seem like he tamed her #And the idea of you #Well #Their response to the hypocrisy #Of calling her a cougar #Was just I hate your husband who did the same thing #But you're OK because I love you #Instead of #OH MY GOD HE CHEATED ON YOU #OF COURSE HES THE ONE IN THE WRONG #also they're both consenting adults above the age of 21 #I'm looking at you John mayer #So who gives a fuck #The idea of you #Purple hearts #nicholas galitzine

[actual-sleeping-beauty]

I officially do not have active TB!

#unfortunately the health department wants to put me on a four month course of antibiotics #that apparently can cause liver damage but usually don't in my age group #my mom suggested i call my doctor to ask his opinion and i literally started crying at the thought #because i dislike him so much #so we are trying to get me a different primary care doc lmao

[heavenlyeros]

lavellan for roses and eli ryder for @highwayphantoms <3

#lavellan #ryder #dragon age #mass effect #inquisitor #pathfinder #dragon age inquisition #mass effect andromeda #i havent been around in a while and i apologise for that #all the lovely asks really cheered me up though <3 and the tags too! #my health has not been very good and i am taking the time to #rediscover little joyful things and look after myself #and i am also opening a little shop! like an actual #not redbubble/printing service shop #which has been my dream since as long as i can remember #of course it wont be much at first but one day #i will have the physical shop of my dreams to sell little things i make #like tableware and flowerpots and teatowels and all those soft things #and i am excited to take this small step towards it!

[famewolf]

all my old fav youtubers coming back this fall has gotten me into a mood where I've been diving back into old bands I used to listen to religiously. and i gotta say ... they all still slap

#[static] #not that i ever stopped listening to them much but ive been playing the entire album instead of just listening to favorites #so many memories tied to certain albums fkjghdf #i dont miss being a teen/in my early 20s at all life was so much harder and confusing and it was the height of my worst mental health years #but the world did feel simpler #the punk and emo scene fucked HARD in the early 2000s and 2010s #i hope we see a revival (and i feel like ive been seeing some new artists that hit that nostalgia in the right way) #i have been genuinely feeling Older recently and not in a bad way. its just funny to be in an age bracket that is a minority where i work #ppl are either way to old to know what im talking about or where literal babies when i was in school #i had to explain what camp was at work the other day and also they had no idea what rocky horror picture show was and me and the - #other gay millennial at work were losing our minds that people in their 20s hadnt heard of rocky horror #politely losing our minds of course like ... who cares if people dont know or do the things we did as young queers but also it - #- definitely made us feel older! #theyve also been playing a station that has all the music from my middle school and high school years .... #you know you're getting old when theres now a store radio station for it LOL they never play anything current

[sobuildabeautifulcity]

censoring the name so it doesnt show up in searches bc its not my intent.

so i read the 1-6 of h/eartstopper online the other night because i was pretty sure i couldn’t actually watch the show and its free online. it was fine i think it definitely had a target audience that wasnt me, and if it had come out 10-15 years ago i’d have eaten it up.

i was right that i wouldn’t be able to watch it, it’s too… teenagery? and i just can’t get through that kind of thing for various reasons that have grown stronger as ive got older. its similar in a way to my inability to watch my / mad /fat diary - i never finished it because it was just… too much

the online version was a nice read, quite predictable (not in a bad way) and i think it was written in a way that was very appropriate for the characters?

it definitely reminded me of being a teenager but.. idk. i think theres a level of sadness associated with my teen years that makes things like this too difficult. the whole premise of found family is too intertwined with negative feelings for me (in the range of longing & jealousy & desire rather than anything else) and i just can’t quite deal with seeing people getting that.

ive watched a few clips of s2 on twit,ter that have come up and theyre sweet but im absolutely solid i couldn’t watch it. which is a little shame, but im not too disappointed - i think because i never expected to watch it. i am really glad it exists though. i hope 15yo queer kids can watch it and see their reflection in it. (and beyond 15yo but. thinking about myself.)

#eli’s nightblogging #like also theres the mental health storyline which. #i hate to say is cliche bc thats not really what i mean #but it was very much ‘yeh of course thats whats happening w u’ #i think its handled well - but for me it just makes me a little.. im not cringing but it makes me a little uncomfortable #in ways i cant fully express and i dont know that i ever could #my internal age 15 self is jealous that they can be so openly queer - and not my past self but the 15yo who lives inside 30yo me #age 15 i didn’t understand queerness beyond ‘we dont talk ab gay people’ or ‘gay/lez is a word we use to hurt or insult people or things’ #so. maybe not so much. but the me now who wishes 15yo me had a better understanding.. yeh #mightve hurt less people

[these-detestable-hands]

I don't wanna be a party pooper because I really love Herlock but with the way they live, Iris is gonna grow up to resent him and likely decrease or completely cut contact after moving out

#She does a lot of the house chores and he relies on her way more than a parent should #A parent shouldn't rely on their kid at all #Maybe when the kid is an adult but Iris is TEN #At that age she should be reading fairy tales and drawing ugly drawings and going to school #Not cooking and cleaning because her guardian is too inconsistent and mentally ill to do it himself #Of course you can't blame a parent for being mentally ill but you can blame him for not reaching out and getting help to raise Iris #Obviously he can't raise her alone #He's a single parent and has a full time job plus some mental health issues #Like dude at least call in Greg to babysit her once or twice a week so you can take a break #Or ask another friend!!! #Idfk #Anyway I speak from experience #My dad is doing badly so I often have to cook and clean because he can't #And it's only partially his fault that he's like this #But I still resent him and I want to cut contact #It wouldn't be unrealistic for Iris to want the same when she gets old enough to realize how unhealthy her relationship with Sholmes is #It's good that Ryunosuke and Susato live with them #And Iris has a friend like Gina who cares about her deeply and helps her sometimes #But that's RECENT #Sholmes has had custody of Iris for as long as she can remember #And with how they both talk about it then this way of living is normal for them #PLEASE get another adult to live with you and take care of Iris you mess of a man!!!! #I have an au I need to make on this subject #To explore the characters but also to vent some of my resentment towards my own dad #Proof reading the tags and I wanna add something #Iris still cooks when Ryu and Susato move in #So they don't do much to lessen the load on her #But add to it because she has to cook for two more people #pie won't shut up #asexual attorneys

[phoenixcatch7]

Okay minor spoilers for both hyrule warriors games!

I'm only not super surprised because the same thing happened in the original hyrule warriors but -

Why the

F U D G E

would I do that

#I managed to miss the part where I got informed on what was happening and thought I was just getting the gallery image #So imagine my reaction when I saw the hundred Ganon face emojis popping up all across the map. #Hyrule warriors is great but the AUDACITY of their villains... #This happens in hw too btw way - you get Ganon himself as a playable character #Course he's not a malice goop that time #Nor the bbeg surprisingly #But why. Why would you do this to us #I am NOT GIVING CALAMITY GANON MORE HEALTH #I AM NOT GIVING IT THE POWER OF CAMOUFLAGE #ARE YOU INSANE #I'm considering it for the 100% completion but I can already feel botw link looming in my doorway #Aaaahhh #hw aoc #loz #legend of zelda #breath of the wild #age of calamity #age of calamity spoilers #hyrule warriors

[autoneurotic]

rememberrrr when i thought i would always wracked with and controlled by anxiety/ptsd/depression and that i would always be stuck in jobs that i hate and that hated me personally and now here i am like, 2 and a half years into unemployment because my beautiful partner gets paid well and i can make art, something i’ve wanted to do for ever and used to do a lot, AND squeeze out a minimal living from it?? like hello.

#being jobless has done wonders like #i’m not chronically exhausted and underweight #my mood is rarely anything other than Good and Fine #i still get lil anxiety/adrenaline heart palpitations but it’s sooo much better #i’ve taught myself a new language i’m thinking hard god help me about finding some free math courses #and trying some of that just to Prove To Myself I Can (also fuck my high school math teacher Josh if you’re out there #i harbor nothing but bitterness toward you) #i’ve made hundreds and hundreds of paintings and drawings…….. #i’ve written 10k+ words of a science fiction story i’ve been thinking about for ages but never got around to #AND IM NOT ANXIOUS! at all! i don’t want to kill my self! i haven’t self harmed in. ok like a year but still! #i just think that the work force in america is designed to fucking grind you to dust #and the rise n grind get that money hustle culture is insidious and insane #i’m going wild in these tags but it’s my post but #when i was a manager at a thrift store in town i had an asthma attack before my shift #and got to the hospital and my heart rate was dumb high so they kept me to make sure i wasn’t going to explode #and my boss kept calling and texting like. so and so is out too. we really need you. when can you come in #no one will be able to go on break if you don’t come in :/ #and when i DID come in the next day i made a big passive aggressive deal about it #and then they implemented a rule that said we weren’t allowed to talk about #our mental and physical health at work??! #so my boss would be like how are you today #and i’d say i can’t talk about that sorry :/ company policy yeah? #anyway #i’ve had a mental break down that has resulted in hospitalization with nearly every job i’ve ever had im insane baby i’m off the charts

[dreamswillbeyourwintermeat]

Curiously, without my Adderall I've lost most of my interest in the crossword and discovering new music. Not sure how I feel about this. I have been reading more, so maybe it balances out? Idk I kind of feel like I've lost myself. Like who even am I without my magic brain pills. Or is this the more authentic me??? Or maybe it's all just a phase and the timing is coincidental. Who knows. Certainly not me!! I'm just the idiot who lives in here

#questions for the ages #the answer of course is that they are all me #rip to my Monday crossword streak tho #maybe I'll try to get back into that #idk #i do miss not adding new music to my playlists #ugh i hate having deep thoughts and existential crises #the worst part is it doesn't even matter because i can't get my hands on Adderall for love or money at this point #Adderall #adhd #mental health

[cryolyst]

~

#so like i have one girl i was friends with at a very young age that was a little weird and i was Very Normal about #and permanently changed me as a person #but i am remembering now the other two girls i had close friendships with at the time that i was also Very Normal about #and idk . it's just weird to think about! #one of them i remember thinking so highly of and thinking she was so nice and pretty and smart #and we called each other on our landlines all the time but i was just always so awkward and quiet #and my mom put it in my head that i wasn't pulling my weight in the friendship and wasn't good enough for her #and it made me pull away because i was scared #and the other girl went to a different school so ppl always made fun of me for talking about her #ough.... auughhhhh... im losing it a lil #being 20 is so bad for my health <3 #of course i do not talk to any of them now. which is typical i guess. like how many ppl maintain friendships from childhood into their 20s? #but it still makes my heart hurt. idk! i was trying to reconnect w the second girl in hs. we did some stuff together the summer after grad. #and i knew the third girl became close friends with my best friend's sister and i knew we kept similar interests #im just sad and lonely. but i have a whole different thing going on with like. struggling to form relationships rn #they speak!

[aurumacadicus]

In before I start seeing people bitching about rainbow capitalism MY favorite rainbow capitalism story is about Subaru. Yes the Japanese car company.

In the nineties, they were struggling. They were competing with a dozen other companies targeting the main demographic at the time: white men ages 18-35, especially after a failed luxury car launch with a new ad agency. “What we need is to focus on niche demographics,” they decided, and then focused on people who enjoyed the outdoors. The Subaru was excellent at driving on dirt roads that many other vehicles couldn’t at the time, so it was perfect for all those off-road campers; they started making all-wheel drive standard in all their cars to help with that. And the people who wanted cars to go do outdoor stuff? Lesbians.

Okay. Of course it wasn’t only lesbians buying Subarus. They’re on the list with educators, health-care professionals, and IT people. But the point is, this Japanese car company interviewed this strange demographic (single, female head of household) and realized one important factor: They were lesbians. They liked to be able to use the cars to go do outdoorsy stuff, and they liked that they could use the cars to haul stuff rather than a big truck or van. Subaru had a choice to make then. They had four other demographics they could market to, after all--the educators, the health-care professionals, IT professionals, and straight outdoorsy couples. Their company didn’t hinge on this one “problematic” demographic.

And they decided “fuck it,” and marketed to lesbians anyway. This included offering benefits to American gay and lesbian employees for their domestic partners, so it didn’t look like a cash grab. (This was not a problem. They already offered those in Canada.)

Yes, there was some backlash. They got letters from a grassroots group accusing them of promoting homosexuality, and every letter said they’d no longer be buying from Subaru. “You didn’t buy from us before, either,” Subaru realized, and ignored them. It helped that the team really cared about the plan, and that they had many straight allies to back them up. There was also some initial backlash when Subaru hired women to play a lesbian couple in the commercial, but they quickly found that lesbians preferred more subtlety; “XENA LVR” on a license plate, or bumper stickers with the names of popular LGBTQ+ destinations, or taglines of “Get out. Stay out.” that could be used for the outdoors--or the closet.

Subaru said “We see you. We support you.” They sponsored Pride parades and partnered with Rainbow Card and hired Martina Navratilova as spokeswoman. They put their money where their mouth is and went into it whole hog. In a time where companies did not want to take our money, Subaru said, “Why not? They’re people who drive.” And that was groundbreaking.

#lgbtqa #queer history

[bloomingbluebell]

me: i'm gonna drop it. i'm gonna drop this course i swear. i'm so unhappy in it i'm gonna fail. i don't understand the assignments. the instructor is pissing me off. fucking hell

me: *doesn't drop*

me: *gets an A-*

#two semesters in a row this has happened sjdkfkdjsf #anyways. got a solid B on my health and aging final (i got my final grade as soon as the exam closed on the course website) #(it was literally just 50 multiple choice questions. it was so fast) #i didn't study at all i was mostly just relying on past knowledge #like i was calling back to microbio sdkjfhdkshfs #but! first fourth year course finished!!!!!

[primrosebitch]

It's kinda ironic that both of my living grandparents are healthier, have more energy, and less aches and pains than I do, and ones in her late 70s and the other late 80s, like when i go shopping with my grandma she's there using her cane a bit and i'm over here with a walker, and i'm still gonna be the one more tired at the end, and then my other grandma doesn't need any mobility aids and can do some SPORTS, i can't even do sports

#chronic illness #chronic fatigue #grandparents #like neither of them are of perfect health #like one needs a cane sometimes #and the other has cataracts #but i'm still the one that has the most issues #and also my grandma with the cane would be in much better health if not for her doct prescribing her way to much of a medication #like both of them are pretty par for the course for their ages #and yet still i have less stamina than either #it really does make me feel feelings when i'm going out my my grandma and i'm stuggling to keep up #for both of them too #like pure walking speeds i am faster (and also a lot taller) #but i get tired way sooner and need more breaks #i'll be sitting there panting. out of breath. needing water #and my grandmas are there perfectly fine. not out of breath at all. could walk for much longer

[faultsofyouth]

Also in hindsight I think it was fucked up that at my first mental hospital intake I described long lasting emotional reactions to living with a violent man who was no longer in my home and they didn't even suggest screening me for PTSD

#i think. if long periods of depression crop up after repeated exposure to violent or dangerous situations #then mayhaps it is your job as a mental health professional to Look Into those situations and perhaps even other behaviors that the patient #displays #like perhaps the intense anxiety and extreme behaviors like running away and attempting suicide #which are allegedly difficult things for depressed patients to do on account of low energy (bc of the depression) #of course i dont think at ages 13 and 14 i was able to give an accurate description of my behavior #partly because at that point i had still agreed with my mom not to disclose a lot of information about my home life to people #but also because at the time a lot of people suggested i had depression so That was the only disorder i looked into #to explain my feelings #and i did fit the fun little checklist for depression to a T #but since then ive had several ''manic'' episodes (as described by other teenagers) #but i dont think any version of bipolar explains my situation at all #ive had so many panic attacks and emotional reactions brought on in situations where i was perfectly safe and Knew it #like yeah i was depressed while living in a fucked up household as a child. duh #why i cant be well adjusted in the wake of that is the unusual thing. the thing that i cant get over

[cyarsk52-20]

When Tina Turner left her first husband - who was also her boss, captor, and brutal tormentor - she snuck out of their Dallas hotel room with a single thought in her mind: "The way out is through the door." From there she fled across the midnight freeway, semi-trucks careening past her, with 36 cents and a Mobil gas card in her pocket. As soon as she decided to walk out that door, she owned nothing else. When she filed for divorce, she made an unusual request. She didn't want anything: not the song rights, not the cars, not the houses, not the money. All she wanted was the stage name he gave her - Tina - and her married name - Turner. This was the name by which the world had come to know her, and keeping it was her only chance to salvage her career. Things could have gone a lot of ways from there. She could have labored in obscurity for decades, maybe making records on small labels to be prized by vinyl connoisseurs in Portland. She could have stayed in Vegas, where she first went to get her chops back up, and worked as a nostalgia act. And, of course, given what she had been through, she might have … not made it. What happened instead is that Tina Turner became the biggest global rock star of the 80s. I'm old enough to barely remember this, but if you aren't, it was like this: The Rolling Stones would headline a stadium one day, and the next day it would be Tina Turner. A middle-aged Black woman - she became a rock star at 42! - sitting atop the 1980s like it was her throne. She managed this because of whatever rare stuff she was made of (this is a woman whose label gave her two weeks to record her solo debut, Private Dancer, which went five times platinum); because she decided to speak publicly about her abusive marriage and forge her own identity, and in doing so give hope and courage to countless women; and also because - in a perhaps unlikely twist for a girl from Nutbush, Tennessee - she had her practice of Soka Gakkai Nichiren Buddhism, to which she credited her survival. She remained devout until the end. Tina's second marriage - to her, her only marriage - was to Edwin Bach, a Swiss music executive 16 years her junior. Of him, she said, "Erwin, who is a force of nature in his own right, has never been the least bit intimidated by my career, my talents, or my fame." In 2016, after a barrage of health problems, Tina's kidneys began to fail. A Swiss citizen by then, she had started preparing for assisted suicide when her husband stepped in. According to Tina, he said, "He didn't want another woman, or another life." He gave her one of his kidneys, buying her the remainder of her time on this earth and perhaps closing a cycle which took her from a man who inflicted injury upon her to a man willing to inflict injury upon himself to save her from harm. Born into a share-cropping family as Anna Mae Bullock in 1939, she died Tina Turner in a palatial Swiss estate: the queen of rock 'n roll; a storm of a performer with a wildcat-fierce voice; a dancer of visceral, spine-tingling potency and ability; a beauty for the ages; a survivor of terrible abuse and an advocate for others in similar situations; an author and actress; a devout Buddhist; a wife and mother; a human being of rare talent and perseverance who, through her transcendent brilliance, became a legend.

Credit: Will Stenberg

#in memoriam #tina turner