#( eve's graphics are stunning )

[nekoannie-chan]

Not another lonely Christmas

Pairing: Steve Rogers X Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D.!Reader.

Word count: 489 words.

Summary: Steve feel lonely in Christmas until he found you.

Warnings: Fluff, angst, feelings of loneliness.

A/N: This is my entry to @sstan-hoe’s Vee’s Holly Jolly Challenge with the prompts:

"I’m not a lot of people’s favourite person..."

"Therapist."

"Steve Rogers."

"(Fear of) Spending Christmas alone."

You can read it on Wattpad and Ao3 too.

@saiyanprincessswanie

My native language is Spanish so I wanna improve my writing skills in English if you notice any mistakes, please let me know and I will correct them.

I don’t give any kind of permission for my fics to be posted on other platforms or languages (I translate myself my work) or the use of my graphics (my dividers are included in this), I did them exclusively for my fics, please respect my work and don't steal it. There are some people here who make dividers that anyone can use, mine is not this type, please look for the other people. The only exception is the ones I gifted 'cuz now belong to someone else. If you find any of my works on a different platform and are not one of my accounts, please let me know. Reblogs and comments are always welcome.

DISCLAIMER: I don't own Marvel's characters (unfortunately), except for the original characters and the story.

Add yourself to my taglist here.

My other media where I publish:  Ao3, Wattpad, ffnet, TikTok, Instagram, Twitter. 

If you like it, please vote, comment, and give me feedback to improve my skills and reblog.

Tags: @sinceimetyou @unnuevosoltransformalarealidad @navybrat817 @angrythingstarlight @shield-agent78 @charmed-asylum @pandaxnienke @real-fbi @smokeandnailz @white-wolf1940 @tenaciousperfectionunknown @xoxonotme @bluemusickid @leyannrae @harrysthiccthighsss @marvelatthisonee @caplanbuckybarness @sapphire-rogerss @lizzieolseniskinda @notyourtypicalrose @hallecarey1 @nana1000night @talia-rumlow @writingshae @alexxavicry @azulatodoryuga @daemonslittlebitch @chaoticcollectivenightmare @endlesstwanted @chemtrails-club  @marigoldreamer @whiskeytangofoxtrot5555 @here4thefanfics @theestorm @patzammit @kmc1989 @somegirlfromasgard

As the Christmas season approached, Steve began to feel a knot in his stomach. Ever since he woke up from the ice, his Christmases had been spent alone. For several years, he had tried to spend them with others, but there was always some excuse, and now he found himself tormented by the thought of spending the holidays alone.

Steve looked at the calendar; he was still going to the therapist, as the adjustment process was more difficult than it seemed, and yet Steve felt he didn't belong anywhere... Steve, his voice trembling, confessed his fear of spending Christmas alone.

Steve left the office feeling a little more relieved but still worried about how he would spend the holidays.

While walking through the busy streets of New York, Steve stopped at a small bookstore to take shelter from the cold. That's when he ran into you, as you were browsing through a book in one of the aisles. Steve recognized you immediately; there were a few times they had crossed words, although basically it had been on missions.

Maybe it was a good time to meet you and distract him from his thoughts. So, it was time to take the first step. He approached you.

“Are you all right?" Steve asked gently.

You looked up, surprised. Since no one knew that this was your secret place, you were stunned for a few seconds to see that Steve Rogers was the one who was in front of you.

“I'm just looking for something to read during the vacations. I'm not a lot of people's favourite person… So I don't usually have plans for Christmas," you answered sheepishly, not even understanding why he was talking to you.

“I don't have many plans for Christmas either, so how about spending Christmas Eve together? We can share stories and make the night a little more special."

You were dumbfounded; you had never expected such a proposal, but you could tell it was different. Probably what Steve needed was a friend or someone to talk to. Many times, you had heard what others said about him, but deep down you thought he was lonely, so you accepted.

Christmas Eve came, and the two of you met in a cozy little cafe. You spent hours chatting, sharing laughs, and telling each other stories about your lives. As the evening progressed, you and Steve discovered that you had a lot in common and enjoyed each other's company.

At midnight, you two decided to take a walk through the city illuminated by Christmas lights. You stopped in front of a brightly decorated Christmas tree and held hands.

“You know, I really like Christmas, but I never usually say it. I decorated my house with a huge tree and lots of bows. I have the best Christmas village in the whole city." You boasted proudly.

“Next year we could decorate together," Steve proposed.

“Is that a promise?"

“It's a promise.“

#vee's holly jolly challenge #vee'shollyjollychallenge #steve rogers x reader

[jake-kiszkas-smirk]

New Experiences

Jake Kiszka x Reader x Female OC

Warnings- Graphic sexual content, language, fingering, oral sex (both rec), unprotected sex, etc.

This was also a request from an anon, I hope I did it justice. xoxo

 “Are you sure you want to do this?” He asked, perched on his barstool as you stood between his legs, scanning the crowded bar.  His hand was at your lower back, his thumb brushing over the exposed skin from the low cut back of your dress. 

“Yes babe, I’m sure,” you turned to him and caressed his face, giving him a reassuring look.  “Are you sure you want to do this?”  It had been your idea, you had always been into beautiful people, regardless of their gender.  When you had suggested bringing another girl into the bedroom with you and Jake he had hesitated for a moment before being on board.  You assumed he was just nervous about making you jealous or making you feeling insecure, but you assured him then, just like you were now that it was something you were extremely into. 

“I’m sure if it’s what you want, but you’re in charge.” He insisted. 

“You know I’m always down to be in charge”  You gave him a small grin and a nod, leaning in to kiss him slowly, pushing your tongue into his mouth.  You eventually pulled away and moved closer to him so the two of you could talk better over the loud crowded bar.   “Remember my only rule is that she doesn’t get to be fucked by you” You reminded him and he nodded,

“I remember,” He replied, “So what are you thinking?” He motioned towards the crowd before you.  You scanned the crowd once again, biting the inside of your cheek as you considered the people in front of you.  “How about that blonde?” Jake suggested

“No, she’s here with that frat guy over there” Your eyes then landed on a redhead standing next to the jukebox.  “How about her?”  He leaned closer to you to see the direction you were pointing in.  His brows rose as he looked back to you,

“Yeah?” He asked with a surprised grin,

“Yes.” You answered, grinning back at him.  He nodded, giving you a quick kiss on the cheek

“Go do your thing” He said.  You gave his thigh a squeeze before making your way through the sea of people.  You got closer and saw she was wearing a black leather skirt and sage green bustier style top.  Her red hair was a short wavy bob landing just below her chin.  Once you approached her you made small talk about the song she had chosen and then started flirting with her, trying to read if she was into it or not.  You both started stealing touches as you spoke, and she was definitely getting closer to you.  She was stunning and you were hoping you weren’t going to scare her away with your invitation.   You told her about your proposition, setting all the ground rules and pointing out Jake so she knew who and what she was agreeing to.  You both laughed when you pointed to Jake and he sat up a little straighter and pretended not to be watching the both of you. 

“I need a shot for courage and then I’m down” She replied.   You took her hand and started making your way back to Jake.  He met your eyes and you gave him a wink.  You could tell by the look in his eye that his mind was already racing with the possibilities.  You got back to him and put your hand on his shoulder,

“Babe, this is Eve” you introduced them, “She said she’d love to join us back at the hotel, but she’d like a shot first”

“Nice to meet you Eve,” He said, that gravely voice you loved so much probably entrancing her as much as it did you, “Whats your poison?”

“Tequila” She replied.  Jake waved down the bartender and ordered 3 shots.  We said cheers and each took one.   “Let me go tell my friends I’m leaving and I’ll meet you outside?”

“Sounds perfect” You replied as Jake paid the tab and you both started making your way outside.  You sent for an uber and Jake positioned himself behind you, wrapping his arms around your middle. 

“Are you excited?” He asked quietly in your ear, kissing your neck. 

“I am, are you?”  you wrapped your arms over his, holding him closer. 

“Mhmm” He hummed as he pressed another kiss to your neck.  You heard the door to the bar close and saw Eve walking towards you both.  Jake let go and backed away a little.  The uber arrived and you all piled into the back seat.  Once again, now that Jake was present you all quietly went over boundaries and preferences.  Jake had said a few words but was being just as shy as he was when he first had met you.  You knew he’d probably remain shy the rest of the night, which was fine with you.   Once at the hotel you all walked in and Jake immediately went to the mini bar and started making drinks.   You and Eve sat on the foot of the bed and started chatting.  You needed to find a way to get things started.  You took a deep breath, rallying your courage and confidence before you spoke,  

“Jake, come sit down” You said, patting the bed on the other side of Eve.  He cleared his throat, something he did when he was nervous, but he obeyed.  It was becoming abundantly clear that you were going to be making all the calls and it had your blood heating.  “I was wondering if you could tell us who the better kisser is?”  They both let out a small laugh, dissipating the tension.   “And don’t hold back Jake, cause I know I won’t”  You added, giving him a smirk as he playfully glared at you. 

“May I?” He asked Eve, ever the gentleman.  She nodded and I watched as she leaned closer to him.  He put his hand behind her neck and pulled her in, his other hand steadying himself on the mattress.  You watched as he started off soft, and then deepened the kiss.   As that was happening you pulled your dress over your head, kicking your shoes off.  They finally pulled away, Jakes breath caught in his throat as he saw you, now just in your bra and panties.  Eve was breathless as she turned to you.  Her lips were pink and slightly swollen from kissing Jake.  You couldn’t help yourself, before you knew it you were straddling her lap and kissing her hard, pressing your tongue into her mouth and welcoming hers into yours.  You heard Jake groan along with some shuffling, but you kept your focus on Eve.  The thought of Jake watching the two of you had you dripping.  You felt a hand at your back and pulled away, Jake was craving some attention from you.  He was standing, now only in his briefs, his hard on very evident.   You stood and pressed your body to his, kissing him as you reached down and palmed him through the thin fabric.   Eve took this opportunity to strip out of her skirt and top, revealing her bare chest and a light blue lacy thong.  You pulled away slightly from Jake and put your hand out for Eve, pulling her to a standing position and leading her between you and Jake.   You noticed her eyes were fixed on his cock, you didn’t blame her one bit.  You reached around her, your chest flush with her back  as you grabbed her breasts and peppered kisses over her shoulder,

“Do you want to suck his cock?” You whispered as she leaned back into you, she nodded eagerly.  Jake’s eyes were half lidded as he watched your every move, his hand now in his briefs, pumping his cock slowly.  “Go ahead, don’t worry I’ll show you how he likes it,”  She sunk to her knees and pulled Jake’s boxers down, letting them fall to his ankles before he kicked them off.  You stood close to Jake one hand behind his neck, the other hand you had tangled in Eve’s hair.  Your mouth found Jake’s and he moaned into it as you felt Eve start to bob her head up and down on him.  You let her keep her pace for a moment, You pulled your mouth away from Jake, “Tell her how good she’s making you feel Jake” you said, glancing between them as you guided her head to the hilt, his cock going down her throat.  Jake let out a guttural moan as his head fell back. 

“So fucking good,” He breathed out.  You released her off his dick and she pulled off, catching her breath as she shifted on her knees.  She had drool on her chin and mascara starting to run down her face from choking on Jake. 

“I want to taste you too” Eve said as she looked up at you through her lashes,

“Fuck” you heard Jake rasp as his eyes raked up and down your figure.  His hand was working his cock again as you looked back down to Eve,

“Go ahead pretty baby, I’d love to feel your mouth on me”  you crooned, soothingly running your fingers through her hair as she caught her breath.  She slid your panties down your legs and then hooked your leg over her shoulder.  Jake positioned himself behind you biting and sucking at your neck, helping you keep your balance while also reaching around and toying with your nipples.  You took in a sharp breath when her mouth found your clit, she didn’t waste any time with teasing licks but went straight to sucking and lapping away at you.   You moaned and leaned your shoulders further into Jake, pressing your hips closer to Eve. 

“She tastes like heaven, doesn’t she?” Jake rasped,  Eve nodded with a pleased hum.  “If you want her to cum on your face try doing your tongue in circles around her clit” You cried out as she took Jake’s advice.  She was devouring you like you were her last meal, and you were quickly approaching your climax.  Jake wrapped one of his hands around your throat, “Come on, be a good girl and let go, I want to watch you cum on her face”  He whispered where only you could hear it.  His words along with her perfect tongue where what pushed you over the edge.  Jakes hold on you tightened, his breath hot on your neck, holding you up as your pleasure washed over you.  Eve slowed her movements as you rode out your high.  Once you were coming out of the fog of your orgasm you reached your hand down, helping Eve stand and immediately pulling her into an open mouth kiss.  “You taste yourself on her lips baby?” Jake asked, you could feel his hand rhythmically hitting your ass, telling you his hand was still wrapped around himself.  He was getting off on this more than you had anticipated and you were living for it.  You separated yourself from Eve,

“Go lay on the bed for me?” You asked as your fingers danced up and down her arm, “I want to make you feel as good as you just made me feel.” Her brow quirked up and her lust filled eyes twinkled with excitement as she listened and climbed on the bed, laying back.  You curled your finger at Jake, beckoning him to you.  You kissed up his jaw, stopping at that place right under his ear and sucking at it as you simultaneously grabbed his dick.  He shuttered and pulled you closer by your hips, “I want you to fuck me while I go down on our pretty little play thing” You said and Jake groaned, “Can you do that for me, can you fuck me senseless while she makes a mess of my face?”

“Fuck yes,” Was all he could manage.  You turned and crawled onto the bed, Eve was half propped up at the headboard.  You got to her and without a question she removed her panties, tossing them to the ground as her eyes tracked your every move.  You put your finger under her chin and tilted it to where she was looking in your eyes,

“These walls are thick, don’t worry about staying quiet ok?” You said, you didn’t care if it came across as cocky, you were confident in your skills.  She nodded at you with her lips parted, she already looked so pretty and fucked out and you hadn’t even touched her yet.   “You’ve been,” You paused, kissing at her chest, and down her abdomen between words, “So good for us, now just relax for me ok beautiful?” 

“Ok” she whimpered out as your kisses reached her hips.  You took your thumb and started rubbing slow circles on her clit as you sunk down to your elbows, staying on your knees with your ass in the air for Jake.  You felt the bed sink down as he climbed up behind you.  He smoothed his hands over your ass and you know he hadn’t started to fuck you yet because his attention was locked on your mouth making its way to Eve’s core.  You removed your thumb and licked a striped from her entrance up to her clit.  Her hand was instantly in your hair, holding you there and not wanting you to ever stop.  She let out the prettiest moan you had ever heard and you echoed her, humming against her.   You could hear Jake breathing heavily and whispering curses as he watched, and then you felt him running his tip through your slick, spreading it around before pressing into you.  Once again you moaned against Eve, and this time she echoed you.  As Jake started thrusting into you, you took two fingers and slid them into Eve.  She arched off the bed and you put your other arm over her stomach to pin her down.  “Please don’t stop Y/n, Please!” She pleaded as her grip in your hair got even tighter.  You started curling your fingers, searching for that spot you knew would have her writhing beneath you.  Jake was still pounding into you, making it almost impossible to focus on anything but the way his cock felt inside you.  Suddenly Eve’s legs were closing around your head and you knew you had found what you’d been looking for.  “Yes, right there, I’m going to cum!” She shouted.  You felt her fluttering around your fingers as you worked her through her orgasm, swallowing down all that you could.  Jakes fingertips were digging into your hips as he quickened his pace, pulling you back onto him harder and harder with every thrust. 

“Cum again love, I need it. Need to feel you cum on my cock” He said quickly, barely getting the words out.  Eve scooted over slightly and reached down, rubbing your already overstimulated clit. 

“Fuck, fuck, fuck” You choked out, eyes screwing shut as your second orgasm crashed over you, searing pleasure that bordered on being too much.   

“That’s it Y/n, good girl” he said through ragged breaths. He was close behind you, only lasting a few more thrusts before you could feel him spilling into you.   He doubled over onto you, pressing kissed to your spine as he steadied his breathing.  He eventually removed himself and you collapsed on the bed next to Eve, Jake collapsing on the other side of you.  You all just stayed there in silence for a while before Eve rose from the bed and started picking up her clothes. 

“You are welcome to stay? Or we can get you another room if you’d like?” You said sweetly as you watched her browse the room. 

“I actually was just going to take a shower and head out, is that ok?” Eve said

“Of course” Jake replied.  Eve gave a small smile and headed off into the bathroom, closing the door behind her.  Jake pulled you closer and then covered you both with the comforter, turning on the tv.  

You tried hard to keep your eyes open so you could tell Eve bye when she left, but the last thing you remember is Jake rubbing his hand up and down your back and whispering sweet nothings into your ear as you drifted to sleep.   

#jake gvf #jake kiszka #greta van smut #greta van fleet fic #greta van fleet imagine #greta van fleet fan fiction #gvf fanfiction #greta van fleet smut #gvf fic #jake kiszka smut

[twinkubus]

I would love some book recs! especially queer literary fiction!

Amazing!! I would love to share :) Also responding @ anon who asked for my trans book recs. This is for you too!

Since this is so long it'll probably get cut off on the dashboard, tl;dr there will be 1) list of trans-authored books and 2) a list where I talk about queer authors more generally (which includes some trans people that don't have trans characters in their books (yet)).

Trans Books by Trans Authors

Sketchtasy by Mattilda Bernstein Sycamore

Nevada by Imogen Binnie 

The Pervert by Remy Boydell (graphic novel)

X by Davey Davis

Manhunt by Gretchen Felker-Martin

Dead Collections by Isaac Fellman

Transmuted by Eve Harms

Future Feeling by Joss Lake 

Paul Takes the Form of a Mortal Girl by Andrea Lawlor 

Everyone on the Moon is Essential Personnel by Julian K Jarboe

Detransition, Baby by Torrey Peters

Infect Your Friends and Loved Ones by Torrey Peters

The Masker by Torrey Peters

Little Blue Encyclopedia (For Vivian) by Hazel Jane Plante

A Dream of a Woman by Casey Plett

A Safe Girl to Love by Casey Plett

Little Fish by Casey Plett

Confessions of the Fox by Jordy Rosenberg

Fierce Femmes and Notorious Liars by Kai Cheng Thom

The Black Emerald by Jeanne Thornton

Summer Fun by Jeanne Thornton 

Small Beauty by jia qing wilson-yang

The above are all trans-authored books that have trans characters in them. They are mostly lit fic with a few dips into genre here and there. I have bolded some of my faves!

For queer book recs/authors more generally,

Poppy Z. Brite, the pen name of Billy Martin, who is gay and trans. He has some great 90s horror novels, in particular Exquisite Corpse, a gay serial killer thriller/romance.

Dennis Cooper, writes gay "extremist" fiction, my fave of which is The Sluts, which takes place entirely on an early 2000s gay escort forum.

Shola Von Reinhold, another trans author, wrote one of my fave books I've read this year, LOTE, which is textually extremely transgender, but I don't think explicitly "labels" the mc as trans, so I'm putting it in this list. I usually use 'dark academia' as a pejorative but this would be dark academia in the best sense of the word. Involves lots of research into weird stuff, hyperfixations, and very little academia.

Brontez Purnell writes lit fic about black gay men, and has another one of my fave books, Since I Laid My Burden Down, as well as probably the best title in this list: Johnny Would You Love Me If My Dick Were Bigger. Those were both smallish press releases, I believe, but he's gotten more attention recently via his FSG short story anthology, 100 Boyfriends.

Sarah Schulman. If you are on Tumblr hopefully you already know about her. If you haven't read any of her fiction, I'd recommend Rat Bohemia, Empathy, and People In Trouble (this is the book Rent was based off of).

Brandon Taylor is very popular on twitter but I feel like I haven't seen much about him on tumblr. I really liked his debut novel Real Life, which follows a gay black postgrad student in a midwestern PhD program full of mostly white people. He also has an anthology, Filthy Animals, full of linked stories that take place in a similar setting.

James Baldwin. Another classic author. If you haven't read Giovanni's Room, go read it.

Carmen Maria Machado has a stunning memoir, In The Dream House, about lesbian domestic violence. She also writes speculative fiction stories, some can be found in the collection Her Body and Other Parties.

Eric LaRocca is gay horror's current darling due to his breakout hit Things Have Gotten Worse Since We Last Spoke, about an online long-distance lesbian d/s relationship. He's been pumping out the books recently, all with great titles and covers.

Jean Kyoung Fraiser released a debut last year that was in my top faves as well, Pizza Girl, a coming-of-age story about a just-married and recently pregnant 18 year-old who works (you guessed it) as a pizza delivery girl, and develops a crush on an older woman, one of her customers.

Venita Blackburn wrote How to Wrestle a Girl, a black lesbian coming-of-age short story anthology. Also a recent release. I really loved the writing in this one.

...Okay, I think that's most of the big hitters for me at least! Going to give a few honorary mentions: Love in the Big City by Sang Young Park, translated from Korean, about the life of a young gay man in Seoul. Also anything by Joe Koch, who writes horror, nothing specifically gay/trans that I have read yet, but The Wingspan of Severed Hands is really beautiful stylistically.

And just one more, since it's October: The Route of Ice and Salt by Jose Luis Zarate, published in the 90s and translated from Spanish, a gay reimagining of Dracula's sea voyage to England.

#queer fiction #lgbt fiction #book recs #idk if there are any tags people use lol well whatever #hope you can find smth you like :) #ask #currently reading

[mochie85]

Heavy In Your Arms

Chapter 27 of my Mayari series.

Mayari Masterlist | Complete Masterlist

Summary: Loki gives you a very special gift for Christmas. A/N: This entire series is inspired by songs. The complete playlist can be found here on Spotify. Word Count: 3011 Warnings: fluff, angst, ongoing self-esteem issues. Dividers by: @firefly-graphics

Christmas came and went. You, Sam, and Wanda had worked all day to make a fabulous Christmas dinner for the entire team, giving Brigid the time off to be with her family. While Bucky and Nat made sure there was never an empty cup, you and Wanda made sure there wasn’t an empty belly in the entire house. You guys spared no expense of your combined cooking expertise. There was baked ham and roast. Yorkshire pudding, along with various vegetable sides. Sam had put out the appetizers and made sure nothing ever ran out. There were also gingerbread cookies and small petit fours sent over from Járnviðr’s bakery, accompanied by a very inquisitive Angrboda.

After dinner, everyone sat around the tree calling members of the team that weren’t able to celebrate with you. Clint was at home with his family. It was still only Christmas Eve there in Missouri, and they were getting ready to watch a Christmas movie marathon. Peter was hanging out with his girlfriend MJ, so he had to keep the call brief. Scott and Hope were at a tree-lighting ceremony with Scott’s daughter. Everyone was doing something with their loved ones. It made you extremely happy to see that even as superheroes, you all still found time to be with the ones you loved. 

You privately video chatted with Tala on the hallway bench, while Loki draped his arm behind you. He had not seen you all day because you were cooking the Christmas feast. He hadn’t let you go since you sat down for dinner.

“Hello, dear Tala.” Loki greeted.

“Hi, kuya.” She answered back. He sat patiently as you spoke to your sister about the dinner and New Asgard. Tala was about to head out to the city to meet up with Shawn and Katy for dinner. After exchanging goodbyes and promises to see each other soon, you hung up the phone with your sister. “She seems happy.” You noted out loud.

Loki agreed with a slight ‘Mhmm’ as he handed you a small gift box, magically pulled from his void. It was red with gold laurel filigree on the borders. It stunned you into silence. A jewelry box. Small enough for a ring, you thought. Would you be ready for this?

“You’re so tense,” Loki said. “This is not the reaction I was expecting.” He chuckled, trying to make light of the growing awkwardness. He circled his arms around you and held your hand that held the box. With his other hand, he opened the lid. Nestled in white satin, were five golden rings. Each ring was thin and dainty. The middle ring held an emerald in its signature cut accompanied by two smaller diamonds on each side.

“How does that song go, ‘On the fifth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me…’” He started singing.

“Is this what I think it is?” You interrupted him. He looked you directly in your eyes, trying to gauge whether this was a good or bad idea.

“It is whatever you want it to be darling. If you don’t like it, I can always get you something else.”

“No. No. No. Loki. I…I just — I want to know what your intentions are behind it.” He closed the lid. You could see the mask he put on, trying to hide his hurt.

“Wear it. Don’t wear it. I just wanted to surprise you with something I thought you would like.” He got up to leave. He needed the cold sting of the air outside to get him back to his senses, but you held his hands begging him to stay.

“Loki, please.” Tears starting to run down your face. “I’m sorry.” He took that as a hint that you did not like his gift. Maybe he misinterpreted your feelings. Did they not go as deep as his? “I’m just scared, Loki.” Just then, a roar of laughter came from the living room where the rest of the team was sitting. They were opening their presents from each other. Loki wrapped you in his arms and transported both of you back to his room.

“What is this about, Mayari?” He asked you. You were a sobbing mess. You sat on the bed with your head in your hands.

“Oh gods, I’ve messed it up. I’m so stupid. How could I have messed up.” Loki listened to you rambling on. Each sentence sent a sharp blade to his heart. Does she not love me? She’s probably just stringing me along until something better shows up. I must have scared her off with that talk of being my Sigyn and all. He gave a heavy sigh. He felt like his heart was being tied down by a heavy anchor and drowning him in angst and misery.

You got up quickly and hugged him. “I love you so much.” You said with a slight hiccup. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to interpret anything by your gift. It’s just, they’re rings Loki!”

“Yes, I know. I was the one who bought them for you.”

“Do you know what a ring like this means?”

“Darling, yes!” Your eyes went wide. Maybe you had interpreted it correctly. “But darling, if I were to propose to you, it wouldn’t be to the side, hidden away from everyone, on a holiday much less. I would want the whole world to see who I’ve chosen. And when you say ‘yes,’ the whole world would know that you chose me too.” His words soothed you and frightened you at the same time.

“So, the ring…”

“These rings. See. A set of five.” Loki magicked the box into his hands and opened it.

“These rings are just — rings?” you asked.

“I thought it would be charming. Like the song. They could represent whatever you want, pet. A promise. Or just a token of my love.” He held your face in his hands, relieved that you still loved him, and he didn’t scare you away.

“I’m sorry, Loki. That was stupid of me. I didn’t mean to make a big deal about it. I overreacted.  I made a mistake.” You nuzzled against his hand, and he looked you straight in the eye.

“Don’t you ever call yourself stupid again! Do you understand me?” He said sternly. You nodded. “Say it!”

“I will never call myself stupid again.” Loki kept staring at you, raising his eyebrow. “…sir.” You finished with a grin. Appeased by your submittal. He moved to the bed to sit. He led you to sit in his lap as he wrapped one arm around your waist and another resting on top of your legs.

“Now, tell me why you’re so scared about the thought of me proposing.” You chuckled at the trap you just got caught in.

“There’s no escaping this conversation, is there?” Loki just hugged you tighter.

“Nope.” He said with a pop of his lips. You let out a long sigh, thinking of the correct words to say.

“I’m not good enough Loki. There are things that I’ve done in my past that I’m not proud of.”

“Whatever it is, it can’t be as bad as when I tried to conquer New York.”

“You were not yourself then, sinta. We all know that now. I don’t have that excuse.” He rested his chin on your shoulder.

“I refuse to believe that you are a bad person.”

“We barely know each other.”

“I know plenty about you. I know that your favorite color is blue. You love to read science fiction and you sing to yourself when you think no one is listening. You love to cook and are wonderful at it. And then there’s this little spot, right under your ear…” Loki proceeds to lick and kiss that sensitive spot, making you cry a small moan.

“What’s more, is that you know the worst parts about me. Some parts I’ve never shared with anyone else. Why does it feel like you’re finding excuses against us?” Loki asked, feeling defeated. This was not a conversation he was expecting to have on Christmas night.

“I’m not. I promise.” You turned and straddled him on the bed so you could look into his eyes. “Loki, I love you. I am hopelessly, madly, deeply in love with you, and I would do anything for you. I’m just not…ready. I’m not ready, right now. The rings caught me off guard. I wasn’t expecting it and it opened a slew of emotions in me that I haven’t confronted in myself. You deserve better than what you have in front of you right now.”

“How can you possibly think about yourself that way?”

“Because it’s true.” Loki looked into your eyes. You had to be the most maddening woman he’s ever met.

“How? How can I make you see what I see?”

“It’s not your responsibility.”

“You’re right! It’s not my responsibility. It’s more than that. You are my commitment! My joy!” You laid your forehead on his. Closing your eyes, you gave a big sigh.

“You are wonderful Loki, Thank you. I don’t even know what the problem is, let alone ask for help on how to fix it.” You said rhetorically.

“No, there isn’t a problem. It’s fine if you’re not ready. As we’ve established. I wasn’t asking to propose to you. When you’re ready, we can talk about it. Then take it from there. This was just me…giving you…a Christmas present.” He handed the red box to you, placing it in your hand. “Merry Christmas, darling. I hope you like it.”

You opened the box again, but this time, you looked at it differently. You saw five golden hoops in different sizes, with an emerald on one. His colors. You could see the thought he put into such a gift. You could picture him singing the song repeatedly in his head so he wouldn’t forget it. It made you laugh.

“It’s beautiful, my love. Thank you.”

“That’s what I was hoping for. You’re very welcome.”

“I have something for you too.” You got up from his lap and walked over to your duffel bag in the closet. You held out a green leather box with a small gold crown at the bottom. Loki laughed at the slight tease. You took your place back on his lap, straddling him on the bed. He opened it to reveal a soft-yellow gold Rolex watch with a blue Lapis face. “You can set up to two different time zones. Whether you’re here or at the tower. Plus, the blue reminded me of your eyes.” Loki stared at you, a shy smile forming on his lips.

“It’s wonderful darling. Very thoughtful. Thank you.” He said as he tried on his new watch. He kissed you again on that sensitive spot right below your ear, a moan escaping your lips.

“If you keep doing that, we’re going to have a problem.” You playfully threatened. He held your hips to thrust up, challenging you, as he laid himself down on the bed.

“You know me, I love to cause problems.” He said with a knowing smile.

11:50 PM December 31.

Here you were behind the curtain, waiting to go on stage. Why did you agree to do this? Every time you sang in public, it scared you half to death. Not because you had stage fright. No. Something far worse. You were scared you were going to compel someone to do something. Something you were going to have to fix later on.

Tonight was the night of the New Year’s Eve Party and Charity Auction. The Langhus was decorated and all of Tony’s most influential friends had attended. Profits from the tickets alone were enough to help New Asgard build more houses and expand the small town. The items for auction would help the people that made them and hopefully give the citizens some notoriety to the world and bring in an economic boost to the city.

As the auction ended, Tony, being the gallant MC and host, had announced a special surprise performance from the ‘The Siren’ herself. You tried to convince Tony that this was a bad idea. But he kept noting how far you’d come in your training and how you have complete control of your powers now.

“Consider it, your final exam. If you can sing in this room full of people and not compel a single one, then you know that you had mastered your gift.”

“I hate you so much right now.” You huffed.

“Tony is this really necessary? She has proven herself time and time again.” Loki criticized.

“If you do this. It would make a lasting impression on everybody here. So that next year, more people would want to come back.” Tony reasoned.

“So wait, you do or you don’t want me to compel them? I’m confused.” You asked.

“No. No. Don’t compel them. Impress them. Don’t you wanna raise enough money here so that your loverboy can live comfortably?”

“Don’t you dare bring me into this,” Loki pointed a finger at Tony. “Darling, you don’t have to do this. We’ve raised plenty of money already to help the people for the following year. We’ll be quite all right. Plus, the entire festival has satiated the curiosity of some of the more fervent followers. I doubt there will be any more devotees out there till next year.” But Tony knew exactly what to say to convince you. You wanted this party to work out. You wanted New Asgard to thrive and to help Loki and Thor as best you could. That’s what family is for.

“All right. I’ll do it. One song. My choosing. That’s it.” You demanded.

“Perfect!” Tony said, leading you to the back of the stage. Tony walked onto the raised platform. As he gave his speech, you looked around the party. Many of your friends were scattered around, enjoying themselves. As you reflect back on the year, it amazed you at how far you’ve come. How many new friendships you’ve made. This year started with just you and Tala. You were content living your life day to day with her by your side. Yet even Tala knew that you weren’t living. She pushed you to the best decision you’ve ever made in your life. You joined The Avengers. You regained your voice. You’ve made new friends. You found the love of your life.

Loki lifted your hand to his lips. He kissed each finger that held the rings he gave you. Two each on your pointer and ring finger. The emerald on your middle finger.

“Have I told you that you look magnificent tonight, darling?” Loki whispered in your ear. You can hear Tony start to lead the countdown to midnight.

“Yes, you have. But once more wouldn’t hurt.” You giggled.

“You look absolutely magnificent, darling. Breathtaking.” He said as he moved in to kiss you. Softly at first, but opened his mouth to invite you in. You can hear everyone yell, “Happy New Year!” as you pulled Loki closer to you. You ended the kiss with a slight tug on his bottom lip. “Happy New Year, kitten.” He said breathlessly.

“Happy New Year, my love.” That’s when you heard Tony introduce you on stage. Loki wiped around your lips for smudged lipstick and gave you one last peck as you walked on. There was a soft roll of clapping, and all eyes were on you. You smiled out to the crowd and took the mic in your hands.

“Hello. I would first like to say thank you to all of you for coming out tonight. Especially those who had contributed to the auction. It means a lot. So before we end tonight and go our separate ways, I just wanted to give a final…blessing…as it were, to wish you all a prosperous New Year.”

“Look at the stars. Look how they shine for you. And everything you do. Yeah, they were all yellow. I came along. I wrote a song for you, And all the things you do, and it was called yellow.” “So then I took my turn. Oh what a thing to have done, and it was all yellow. Your skin, oh yeah, your skin and bones Turn into something beautiful. You know, you know I love you so. You know I love you so.”

You looked at Loki, off to the right of the stage, watching you perform. His hand was outstretched in front of him. You heard ‘oohs’ and ‘aahs’ from the crowd. Looking back over to them, you saw that the roof had vanished. The wooden walls disappeared up into the night sky.

Stars! Beautiful, bright stars shone throughout the entire venue. Loki made different constellations, like the ones he showed you on the rooftop of the tower not too long ago. He depicted stars from Asgard and you watched some of the citizens in attendance cry, missing their homes. Others, the Midgardians in attendance, were astonished and full of wonder. There was not a dry eye in the house. The experience just humbled everyone in attendance.

“It’s true. Look how they shine for you. Look how they shine for you. Look how they shine. Look at the stars. Look how they shine for you, And all the things that you do.”

A loud banging and some heavy footsteps were heard just outside the doors closest to you. Heimdall had burst in clad in his armor. He looked agitated and worried. He stared at you curiously, then scanned the room. Loki was at your side instantly. He pulled your hand to get you off stage. Something’s not right. Something is going on.

It happened all at once. You saw Heimdall rush to someone. Thor coming from the opposite end. Thor’s hand outreached to grab someone running through the crowd. When your eyes settled on who they were after, you saw a well-dressed man in a tuxedo take out a pistol from inside his suit pocket and aimed it at the stage.

⬅️Chapter 26: So This Is Love | Chapter 28: Leading Us Along➡️

Tags: @user13cabs @alexs1200 @lokiprompts @huntress-artemiss

#loki fandom #loki fluff #tom hiddleston fluff #loki fanfic #loki laufeyson #tom hiddleston angst #tom hiddleston fanfic #tom hiddleston fanfiction #loki angst #loki smut #loki series #mcu #loki x you #loki x reader #loki x OC #Marvel fanfic #MCU fanfic #Mayari #filipino mythology #norse mythology (MCU) #song fic #song lyrics #asianwomen #asian oc

[alltimefanfiction]

NEW THEME!!!

Hello friends!!!

We are very very very very very fucking excited to announce that our new theme and graphics are live.

This blog hasn't had a refresh in a hot minute and quite some time ago, the previous theme broke in a way that meant we couldn't update or delete any specific posts on the blog. Don't know why, don't know how, was never able to fix it.

But now! We have a fresh theme, and a makeover.

The beautiful new graphics are all thanks to the hard work of @gemgemjaseyrae (part of atltourconnect on Instagram). She has done a truly stunning job, put up with Eve being a control freak about it, and produced some really gorgeous things for us to look at while we're all browsing for fics.

Please, please feel free to go give Gemma a follow, or give ATL Tour Connect a follow on IG, or shoot her a wee ask to tell her how beautiful the blog looks because it is truly all thanks to her!!!

If anything on the new theme doesn't look or work quite right, just send us a quick ask so we can take a look and sort it out.

But otherwise...

Please enjoy this new era of ATFF!

-ATFF Mod Team <3

#all time low #alex gaskarth #jack barakat #rian dawson #zack merrick #AHHHHHHHHH etc #ignore me promo tagging lol #BUT SERIOUSLY AHHHHHHHHHH #love u all #everyone say thank-you gemma

[ruanbaijie]

rounding up the month of may!

🌸 art

[x] yi city arc by @fredym-pie - the whole mood of this art piece and xue yang with xxc’s disguise!

[x] legacy by @zelkams-art - art that’s equal parts stunning and sorrowful, love the details and the golden wisps!

[x] dabihawks by @elentori-art - a really beautiful piece with expressive strokes and the light-dark contrast!

[x] mxtx couples by @sumeriasmith - the soft colours and the amount of details that went into not just the characters but also the backgrounds!

[x] art nouveau hualian by @crimson-chains - a simply stunning piece and really creative use of chinese elements with the art nouveau theme!

[x] diluc by @say0ranarts - the flames and the really, really beautiful colours!

[x] yor forger by @zumidraws - the use of lights and shadows, the greens in her hair, the whole mood of the piece!

[x] business rivals by @athrisen - the bold strokes and the really clever contrast of zhou zishu and xie wang! (I might have accidentally tagged xw as wkx oops)

🌸 edits

[x] bad buddy by @rose-nebulijia - love the soft and lovely colours, the flowers, and the overlays and layout!

[x] the king of pigs by @luna-lina - the gritty effect, the overlays, and the typography!

[x] luffy by @kurumayu - the text effects, the creative use of shapes and lines, and the warm colours!

[x] gojou satoru by @gojosattoru - unique and stunning graphics as always! 

[x] sxf 1960s movie posters by @kanamesengoku - a really creative concept and stunning layouts! love how all the little texts and the images come together!

🌸 gifsets

[x] nick and charlie by @theedorksinlove - beautiful layout and the charting out of their relationship!

[x] yok by @spicyvampire - the concept and the layout and the overlays!

[x] star wars day by @sith-maul - the absolutely stunning layout, the reds and the blues and the purples, and the text effects!

[x] killing eve season 4 by @userdanewhitman - really creative and beautiful individual gifs and layouts!

[x] nick nelson by @steverobin - the stunning typography and beautiful and bright colours!

[x] encanto by @miirabel - the incredibly creative typography and overlays! 

[x] twenty five twenty one character exploration by @deokmis - a really cute concept and the beautiful colours and layout!

[x] merlin + zodiac signs by @ughmerlin - absolutely love the overlays and the gorgeous dark blue and the constellations!

[x] bridgerton alphabet by @selinakyle - the whole concept and the really fun typography!

[x] kinnporsche by @dingyuxi - the simple yet expressive typography!

[x] charlie and nick by @ne8ula - the beautiful layout and how the quotes are all linked together!

[x] zhou zishu and han ying by @ashinlae - as always, the incredible layout, the stunning typography, and the beautiful colours! (also zzs in that last gif 👀)

#*shoutouts #creator shoutout

[be-ready-when-i-say-go]

Backdoor Deal With The Devil--Part 3: Wreckening

Calum meets Eve in a bar. And it would be a normal story. However, Eve’s more than he bargained for, and so, the story’s never so simple. 

Black!OC.

CW: Mentions of death--no graphic depictions. Overall series contains: Christian religious themes, mentions of death, and smut (18+ only). 

Word Count: 24K+

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 4 (Coming Soon)

Enjoy my masterlist

********************************************

Calum gets it. When Eve steps in through the door eyes still glowing purple and the small trail of smoke behind her, he’s reminded of all that he had. He’s reminded that he did turn out like the rest. Is this what all the other lovers thought? When they’re older, hips achy and joints stiff, did all the lovers before him wish that they’d chosen something else? Do they wish they’d chosen her? He's second guessing all his choices, bringing her back to a point that she’s used to only having to come to only once at the end, when death is calling. Call it selfish, Calum doesn’t care. It’s Eve and it’s almost all he needs. Calum sighs, eyes slipping closer when her knuckles caress his cheek. 

“What’s your secret?” Eve teases. He hasn’t aged much at all in a quick glance. Sure there’s more wrinkles and a bit more gray, but it’s still Calum. 

“Oh,” Calum laughs, “my ex-wife said it was coconut oil, sunscreen, and minding my own business. But I’m not sure how right she was about the last one.”

“Sounds like a smart woman.” Sounds like me, she wants to say, but keeps it buried in her gut. The words are tight. They feel like bricks on her chest. But Eve drops her hand and takes in the room. Two boys, one girl and they wear echoes of Calum’s face. Eve doesn’t usually meet the children. But Eve usually doesn’t come back until the very end. She’s mindful more now than she was before what she is here for. Calum told her his kids would be there. He told her that he wanted to introduce them.

Eve hadn’t understood the gravity of the request until now, until she was staring back at the echoes of Calum’s face and seeing their mother in their faces too. Their mother. Eve exhales on the thought. They were children, but they’d already had a mother. Even if they did want to get to know her better, even if they liked her, Eve would be the other woman. Maybe she’d be given the title step mother graciously--but in a sense of later. Maybe they’d like her enough to entertain the thought. But they would always have had a mother. It would never be Eve. 

“Kiri, Cailean, and Māra,” Calum starts introducing each of his children. “My little rascals,” he teases, throwing his arm over Kiri’s shoulder. He’s the eldest and has just barely surpassed Calum in height while Cailean is nearly 6 inches taller. Māra holds Eve’s gaze steady. The two--Eve and Māra--are roughly the same height. 

Where Calum expects Eve to speak first, Māra beats her to it. “Nakahi.” It falls in a whisper. 

Calum steps up. Māra’s not one to mince her word, having two older brothers means she’s had to not be so coy in order to get a word in edgewise. But the last thing Calum wants is animosity between them. But even if Māra isn’t happy about this kind of introduction the last thing she should be doing is this. Eve holds up her arm to pause him, the tips of her fingers hitting him in his sternum. 

“I am,” Eve answers. If the eyes didn’t give it away the tongue would. If not the tongue, all Eve would have to do to prove herself as the snake would just to get close. But she doesn’t shy away from it now. 

Eve’s easy acceptance of the insult stuns Māra.  Why would Eve so easily tolerate it? Why would she agree? Just as quickly as the shock lands, it dissipates. Whatever Eve’s reasons are, they would not break Māra's resolve. “I don’t know why he’s asked you here. But we don’t need a mother.”

“I could never be your mother,” Eve returns. “I will never be your mother. I don’t want to replace her. I’m not going to do that.”

“Bullshit,” she hisses. “Why else would you show up? Hm? You want something.”

Eve only bows her head, hand dropping back to her side. Eve did want something--she wanted peace. She wanted her slice of heaven back. She’d always come back when Calum called her. But just because she would want that didn’t mean others would have to like it. “I’m sorry, Māra.” She turns her attention to Calum’s sons and gives a small smile. “Nice meeting you two. Your father’s twins.”

Cailean grins. “Much more spry than him though.”

Calum levels an unamused look that sends Cailean into a fit of laughter. He knows his father. It’s more annoyance that Calum is trying to convey than severe discipline. Eve’s laughter is soft at the moment. There’s still clear tension beneath the moment of levity. Eve gives her condolences for their late mother, before turning for the door. It’s not that Eve thinks it was a mistake to come. She knew the second Calum told her that his wife had died a few months back and that he wanted to try again with her; they'd be fighting the same battle before their divorce. 

“You’re the reason she couldn’t look at me.”

The room freezes but only for a terse and long moment. Calum turns to Māra’s voice. Her chest is heaving but her chin looks unsteady. “Your mother loved you, Mar,” Calum pleads. 

Calum needs her to know that. Even if he did do this, even if he asked about the name, knowing the reason behind it all, he never once wanted Māra to feel responsible for any of this. It was selfish. Calum wanted something of Eve after they split. It was less of a mutual choice and more a matter of timing. Calum had crept into his forties faster than he’d realized. The band had slowed down. He adored his time with Eve, but the truth is that their relationship was turning heads. Eve hadn’t, quite literally, aged a day since the start. People were starting to notice, starting to ask questions. Time had ruined them, much like Eve had predicted it would. And then it happened. Wedding bands sat on the dining room table. Eve asked such a simple question but it tipped the scales, “How much longer do you think you can fight fate?”

 Māra’s name was all Calum trying to cope with his choices. Māra ducks the outreach of Calum’s touch.

From the stuttered apologies of Calum’s mouth, a clear voice rings out--Eve. “Your mother loves you. Present tense.” Eve’s steps are silent as she closes the distance, but the steps are swift. Eve gets in close. She’s not close enough to invade personal boundaries. But Māra can feel a bit of the heat wafting off Eve’s robes. The purple gaze swirls and for a moment Māra swears she sees her mother’s face in the ocean of purple and brown. “She will never stop loving you. Hate me, a lot of people do. But your mother could never stop loving you. You are not the burden of your mother’s foolishness. You are not responsible for what she did and did not do. You are not responsible for your father’s recklessness--naming you after the other woman, how stupid. But you are still and will always be your mother’s daughter. She will always love you.”

Calum ducks his head at the reprimand. He didn’t think Kelsie would actually agree, and when she had, he was elated. But he hadn’t thought about the consequences. He hadn’t realized what it would actually mean to Māra or to Kelsie. 

“You-what?” Māra balks. She takes a half step back, trying to read Eve’s face--the furrowed brow, the hard set scowl. Eve looks nothing like what Māra expected her to look like. Eve looks nothing like Māra wanted Eve to look like. Māra wanted a nasty woman who always looked like she was sneering. But Eve’s face is soft--approachable in a way that Māra has to fight not to give into and just beyond that is clearly a woman who cares, deeply by the flare of her voice, like she’s angry Māra could ever think a thing like that. 

“Did you expect me to be flattered that I’ve doomed you, Māra? It’s a good thing I’m only the Devil and not more. You weren’t supposed to get caught in these crosshairs. I can’t undo it. You can, of course if you want. But I’m not bringing you into this. I refuse. You are not the actions of your parents. You are not cursed. Only one of us needs to be and the last time I checked, I’m still fulfilling the position. Leave it to me. All of it.” Eve’s quirked eyebrow says everything that she does not. I am not an enemy. Do not confuse my confession and acceptance of responsibility for weakness. Leave it all with me, I am begging you, but do not take it out on your mother or your father. 

Eve is nothing like Māra expected or wanted Eve to be. It would make it so much easier. Māra assumed Eve would take the chance to come slithering back in, play pretend in a family she’d only doomed from the start. But Eve is doing just the opposite. 

Māra casts her look to the floor under the heat of Eve’s gaze. “It hurts.”

“It’s going to. It’s only been seven months since you lost her. It’s going to still hurt. And you’re going to be angry. But be angry at me. The thing about having this existence is that we are flawed. We make mistakes. You are not other people’s mistakes. You will make plenty of your own, but do not carry the burden of someone else’s.”

It feels so easy to tell Māra that and it feels so ironic--how Eve had literally become Lucifer’s mistake. But as the years slipped by and continued on, Eve started to consider the idea that maybe Lucifer’s death was her fault. She’d prayed for it. Maybe all she had been doing the entire time was becoming who she was supposed to be. Her identity--even in all the years Eve has lived--would always plague her. It would always perplex her. She would always have to wrestle with it. Good thing there is beauty in becoming. Eve’s journey never stopped. 

Eve continues on, “You can be more than what they imagined for you. You can be more with anyone’s imagination for you. Doesn’t that sound so much better than being a shadow?” Eve’s smile is sad. Māra wonders how much of this is actually for her and how much is for Eve. Māra can only stare; she can only try and watch again for another glimpse of her mother’s face in Eve’s eyes. It never comes. 

Eve is there, a tender but warm touch on Māra’s wrist and then Eve is gone. Her steps take her to the door and then out of it and the door clicks shut. Calum sighs and follows behind Māra as she heads for the stairs up to her room no doubt. “Māra, please, will you talk to me?”

Māra keeps on. Her father’s pleas are ringing in her ears, but her wrist tingles. Eve’s touch felt electric and she can’t get Eve’s speech out of her head. Doesn’t that sound so much better than being a shadow? What else would Māra even be if not a shadow? Her mother hadn’t been confident enough to push back on her name. Her father's been too in love with someone else to give her something of her own. Māra would always be a shadow. But the thing, the person, the entity that was supposed to be blocking her was stepping aside. Eve was telling Māra to be so much more than her. 

Calum stops short just fast enough to avoid his nose being smacked into a bloody pulp by the strength of Māra’s slam. The lock clicks and he drops his head into the hollow wood. “Māra, please, I’m sorry,” Calum croaks. The tears are clearer now as they flood his vision. He’s not sure when the tears started but they fall freely now. 

Calum only gives himself a few moments at Māra’s door before pushing off it. “I’ll be here when you’re ready to talk,” he calls out softly. 

No response. 

When Calum returns downstairs, Kiri and Cailean are settled onto the living room couch. Calum looks over to the table with the spread of food he’d prepared. “Eat however much you want, it doesn't matter. Make sure Māra eats too please when she comes down.”

Kiri nods at the instruction. “You hungry, Pops?”

Calum inhales hard, trying to keep more tears at bay. “I’m good, son. Thanks. Leave whatever’s left when you three are done. I’ll-I’ll clean it up, alright?”

“So, where are you headed?” Cailean asks, noticing the shuffle of Calum’s body near the hallway. “I mean--Eve, uh, made quite the scene. I-I sort of like her.”

“You just think she’s hot,” Kiri retorts. “But she could’ve been our mom, so gross.”

“Good thing she’s not. And if you’re saying that I think she’s hot, it means you think she was too.” 

Kiri shoves his younger brother’s shoulders before grabbing a throw pillow to follow the shove with a blow. “Shut up.”

Calum lets the rough housing bring the levity it always does. But he’s also aware of his role as their father. “Alright, alright,” he calls out and the tussle, mostly a battle of the couch throws, settles swiftly. “Eat, please. That way you’ll be too tired to cause trouble.”

The boys laugh for a moment before pushing up. Cailean heads up the steps and Calum’s sure it’s to coax Māra out of her room. This is not what he expected when he asked Eve to stop by. But if Calum’s learned anything about life is that it never cooperates. The stairs carry the echoes of two sets of feets. Māra pointedly doesn’t look at Calum. There’s no fighting it. There’s nothing he can say to her to make it better and until she’s ready, he’d just be wasting time. 

“I swear to Christ Cai, I will murder you,” Māra huffs and Calum watches as the two wrestle for the spoon in the macaroni and cheese. Cailean gives up easily and lets her get her scoops served first. 

“Gotta make you work for it,” he returns. 

Calum can only watch as they settle at their respective spots at the table. Kiri nods for Calum to take his seat too and Calum sighs. He wants to talk to Eve, ask her what the hell happened and what he should do. But his kids matter more than anything else. They’ve lost a mother; they shouldn’t lose him too. Calum fixes his plate, and settles down to complete the unit. His kids won’t lose him. As much as it hurts, to put Eve on the back burner again, to know that in the grand scheme of things she’d always understand because she’d have to, Calum knows that the consequence of not putting his children first would be a worser fate.

He goes to the table. Though he doesn’t actually eat until much later in the night, after they’ve all gone up to their rooms, Calum sits with his children like a father should.  

The guest bedroom sheets are just as Calum left them from the morning, tucked and a little rumpled. It doesn’t matter since his mother’s no longer filling the space anymore. She left two weeks ago, after staying two months to help him as he tried to find some sort of grounding in this new phase of his life. For a moment, as Calum settles under the cover, he wonders if he’s just using Eve to fill the void he’s not ready to confront. But is it a crime? He’s always had someone for the better half of his life. Being alone is terrifying. 

The night should go like all the others. Calum doesn’t sleep--not for long anyway. Instead, he lays of the night staring up at the ceiling. His eyes will get heavy somewhere around 1 in the morning and then they’ll crack open around 5 am, if he’s lucky of course. He’ll then lay again, watching more of the ceiling not change and then finally push up to get breakfast going and ensure all the kids who need to be at school in the morning are at school. 

His sleep isn’t fitfull anymore, thankfully. He doesn’t dream of the crash anymore, seven months later. So when Calum shuts his eyes and floats into nothingness, he thinks tonight will be like all the rest of his nights lately.  But behind the nothingness is red, a hint of blue too, but mostly red and some yellow. A muted coloring that is until a siren cuts in. And amongst the road--glass, blood, and metal is Kelsie. 

Calum’s just behind the yellow tape. He wants to break the barrier, but he can’t. It won’t budge. That damned tape. “Kelsie, hold on!” he shouts. 

None of the firefighters and first responders really seem to care. They walk around Kelsie and her flipped car. But they don’t move towards it. “Help her! Please!” Calum hollers. “My wife needs help!”

The barrier pushes back. Calum claws desperately at it. He thinks he might be able to get a leg up and if he can, he can get over. But the barrier pushes and pushes him back. It scrapes against the asphalt, right into his gut and he can’t get over it. 

In the light, as his hands stretch out but get no real purchase to bring himself closer to Kelsie, his gold band glints. The red and yellow lights bounce off the band and it feels like hot iron. The flesh around the band stings. It creeps up his palm, dancing a fire line to his elbow. Calum hisses out at the sting and when the sharpness suprasses his elbow, a full on yell escapes his throat. 

Calum forces the sheets off himself, a gasp filling his lungs with air that he hadn’t realized he’d lost. The room is dark around him. There’s a faint hum above him and he knows it’s Kiri’s room. The boy ran a fan at all times, even in winter. The house is as silent as it usually is at night. As Calum sits up, palm pushing into the mattress, he catches how damn the sheets are. He checks the chest of the t-shirt and sure enough he’s sweat through the cotton of it. 

 Calum swings his feet to the floor. The hardwood is cool under his toes, but what rocks him more are the tears slipping from his eyes. Calum covers his face with his palms and lets himself cry. He probably needed it anyway. No one would help her. He knows that’s not actually the case. The cops told him that paramedics spent several minutes performing CPR on Kelsie at the crash site. They wanted to get her breathing again before moving her on, but time was of the essence too. They tried the whole damn ambulance ride to resuscitate, but she was declared dead on arrival at the hospital. 

Everyone tried to help her. 

And yet, Calum still can’t shake the grip of grief. He should’ve told her he’d go. He should’ve just taken the cross city trip. He should’ve embraced the fucking traffic. 

And it’s not Calum’s fault. But having someone to blame made more sense of the accident. Someone would have to be at fault. It didn’t feel right to blame the previous accident that had caused the pile up. Calum’s not sure why he can’t blame it. It never felt right. His sob rings back to Calum and he tries hard to swallow back down the sound. Calum wants to be past this stuff. He wants to be past the nightmares. Calum spends most of his waking time feeling like he can get through. He can get through his days most of the time. Calum can get through. 

Yet now, it feels like it’s all crumbling. 

Calum throws his head back, inhaling hard. The tears haven’t slowed, but he’s not choking on sobs anymore. It’s an improvement. He inhales once, deeply through his nose. It falls from his lips shaky. But he inhales again. “You couldn’t have saved her,” Calum tells himself. 

But I wish I could’ve. I wish I could’ve been the one dead and not her. 

Calum knows what it means when those thoughts slip in. It’s the fatigue. He doesn’t want to actually die. He just wants to end his suffering. He reaches forward, hand slapping down into the bedside table. The tap of his fingers causes his phone to light up and he gets a solid grip on the device before pulling it closer to him. 

He enters his code and finds his text messages. 

Eve’s thread is right near the top. I can be there. It’s all she said when Calum asked her to come by, even when he mentioned the kids being there. She hadn’t said anything since she left. No text. No call. Calum had intended to apologize one more time about Māra’s outburst, but then he had to be the dad. He sat down with his kids for dinner and he had to do the things sole surviving parents do even when they want to give in because they can’t give in. Or least, Calum wouldn’t give in. 

His fingers hover over her name. Maybe he could call her. Eve would always understand. But he can’t bring himself to call her. It’s not her duty for this. Not that Eve would call him weak, but he hates the feeling that he’d reach out to her in such a state. All choices with her he wanted to make when his head was clear. They had too much history. Eve was too understanding. She was too resigned to her own fate as the other woman that she’d let herself become a punching bag. 

But Calum clings, even as he clicks away from her name and thread to Ashton’s, Calum clings to the smile she gave him when he opened the door. She smiled at him like the sun had just dawned after days of clouds. He could use that smile to get him through the night. 

“Hey, man, what’s up?” Ashton’s voice is thick, clearly he too had been asleep. 

“Shit, I’m sorry,” Calum returns, realizing now he hadn’t texted Ashton before calling. 

“No, no, you can call whenever. How’d it go with Eve?”

“Didn’t,” Calum sighs. 

“Did she not show? I thought--”

“Timing’s just not right,” Calum returns. It’s easier this way in the lie, but the truth follows soon after. “Mar sort of snapped. Eve left and I’ve got nightmares coming back out of the blue.”

“A triple threat of a day,” Ashton laughs.

“Something like that,” Calum exhales. 

 “Talk to me. Cry it out. Whatever you need, mate. I’m here.”

Calum does--his mouth opens again and the words fall like they’ve been backed up in a dam and Ashton just puts a crack in the wall. 

**********

Kiri and Cailean announce their departure for the last of the summer party a month and some change after the failed attempt to meet Eve. Calum’d asked Eve to give them more time and she, thankfully, understood. Now, at the door of the house Calum’s with his own practiced speech, which used to be his and his wife’s. “Stick to an alcohol of one type, text you if we’re going to be staying the night, check that the condoms aren’t expired,” Cailean and Kiri echoes. 

“Bless our mother for always cringing at the last part,” Cailean tacts on. 

Calum pats each of them on the shoulder. “You carry the tradition well.”

“Let’s hope we don’t run into the devil ourselves,” Cailean teases. His fascination with Eve hasn’t exactly waned in the time, but Calum takes the jokes in stride. 

Calum knows they’re harmless, but still he has to give Cailean a run for his words. “She’ll smite you,” Calum laughs, knocking gently at the snapback on Cailean’s head. He wears it backward at any and every turn. It is a miracle that any formal events in the last two years haven’t been a battle. Calum watches the two boys, three years apart, slip through the front door. Their laughter echoes behind the closed door. 

The drawers from the kitchen rattle as they open and close. Calum pads over and peeks his head to see Māra fixing a bowl of ice cream. “Do you want some?” she asks, back turned to Calum.

“I’m okay, sweetpea. Thanks for asking.”

“Of course,” she returns. 

It's an improvement. She’d gone nearly a week and a half where she only spoke to Calum when he initiated her. He’d tried to take it in stride and held together his peace and sanity thinking of what Kelsie had to remind him of all the time, She’s slow to crack. Just keep a steady presence. And boy had Kelsie been right about Māra more than ever before. 

“Still good for back to school shopping tomorrow?” Calum asks. 

“Sounds good. These boots I want just went on sale.”

“The white platform ones?”

She nods, turning now with the bowl to her chest. “With the pink hearts.”

“Are they in the cart already?” Calum leans into the wall, keeping a soft smile on his face. 

“Maybe,” Māra sings out. 

“Use my card when you check out.”

“It’s 109 with shipping,” Māra states, grinning wide for a moment. She’s waiting. The boots were originally 170 and she prayed that she could find a coupon to get them under 100 so that Calum would be more reasonable about the compromise. While the boots had a major slash in price, shipping still pushed her over the threshold. 

“You better wear them. Every single day,” Calum laughs, nodding over his shoulder. 

“Dad,” she reprimands 

“At least once a week.”

“Fair.” With the first spoonful consumed, Māra leaves herself pressed into the counter. “I shouldn’t have said that stuff to Eve. It wasn’t fair.”

“Do you feel cursed?” Calum asks in return. He could tell her she’s right. He could tell her that she was out of line, but she already knows that. The more important thing right now is the why. Why did Māra feel the need to say that in the first place? Could Calum keep her from feeling that way again in the future? 

Māra shrugs. In and of itself, the action is an answer. “I feel like Mom loved me. She didn’t treat me any different. But she knew, didn’t she? About Eve?”

Calum tries to not make his children responsible for his own emotions. They’re not free therapy but they were watchful kids. They noticed even if Calum didn’t want them too. “Your mom did know about Eve.” A neutral response. It answers Māra’s question but doesn’t shift blame or responsibility. 

“Why? Why’d you do it?”

“Eve wasn’t wrong when she called me reckless. I thought I was clever with the reasons I told her mother. But your mother was more clever than I.”

Māra hums around a second spoonful of her ice cream. The silence hangs between them. Calum can feel it pressing against his shoulders. But he can’t press Māra. The words bashes against his teeth and then his lips are parting before he really realizes. “You’re not just what I thought I could hang onto of Eve. You’re my daughter. Who makes fashion choices that give me heart attacks and who can tussle with the boys and not be afraid of a scratch. You’re brilliant in maths and science. You’re going to find the cure for some rare disease, kid. I know you will. You are more than a name.”

“Cancer--I’m going to find the cure for cancer,” Māra corrects. 

“You’re going to find the cure for cancer,” Calum reiterates. 

Her spoon clinks against the side of the bowl, ringing in their ears long after the sounds disappeared from the air. “What-What happened to Eve? Like when she told me to let her be the only cursed one and that it sounded so much better to be more than a shadow--did something happen? To her?”

Calum exhales. He could answer that. But he shouldn’t. It’s not his story to tell. Calum pushes off the wall and puts the container of ice cream back into the freezer before leaning into the counter next to Māra. “If you want, you can ask her yourself. But I can’t answer that for her. It’s her story to tell.”

“Yeah, let’s just summon the devil right quick,” Māra snorts, holding her bowl out--a small gesture to see if Calum was sure about the lack of ice cream on his part.

Calum gently nudges her shoulder, “We can. I have her number.”

The text is easy to send--Māra wants a chat when you’re free. Let me know. The waiting is the hard part. Māra clings to his arm, peering at the phone every few seconds to see the reply come in. She’d huff about Calum for specifying it was her desire to speak with Eve, but she lets go of all the annoyance when Calum’s phone shakes. 

I’ll be there in half an hour, baring Death has no more surprise plans. 

“Who’s Death?” Māra asks. 

“A long standing friend,” Calum laughs. 

“Like the Grim Reaper?” Calum nods at the question. Māra continues on, “What the hell did you get yourself into, Dad? You’re just in the midst of all these darn supernatural beings. Were you in love with Death too?”

Playfully, Calum gets Māra into a headlock before kissing her forehead. “I had a wild youth.”

“Apparently.” She tugs herself free from Calum’s hold and huffs when her hair stands up straight from the friction of his t-shirt. Calum’s quick to smooth down the curls. Māra picks up her bowl again. The bottom portion of the bowl is a sugary milk that she can slurp up with just a quick tilt while the rest remains solid. The minutes feel like they’re crawling. Eventually Calum leads both of them to the kitchen table, settling in next to each other. 

“She’ll be here. Or let us know if she’s going to be late,” Calum reassures when he notices Māra’s glance back to his phone. “Besides, it still gives you time to complete that purchase.”

“Shoes! You’re right!” Māra scurries up to her room to grab her laptop. Calum finds his wallet and they meet back at the dining room table. He’s wary of the platform shoes, but Māra begs and pleads that she’ll be okay, so he slides her the card to complete the purchase. She’s swift with typing in the numbers and his name. They’re not too high of a heel and they are thick so they should provide more stability--something Calum had learned from Kelsie in their shopping escapades.  

Her laptop dings two minutes later. “Ordered. Thanks, Dad.”

“You’re welcome, Mar.”

A clink of the spoon hitting the bowl echoes throughout the room. “If you loved Eve so much, why did you marry Mom?”

“I love your mother.” It’s easy to say that. Because he does love Kelsie. He also loves Eve. Calum never attempted to qualify it or quantify the love he has for Kelsie. Inevitably, it would always be an unfair comparison when put up against the level he has for Eve. They were both types of love and they were both different.  “It’s not a switch--love. And when you get older than you are now, it’ll make more sense. But sometimes we can’t be together forever with who we love. Things happen. People want different things.”

“Love sounds awful, ya know?”

“I used to think the same thing, kid.” Calum confesses. They stare out of the windows that make up the walls of the side of the house. It’s a cloudy night--thanks to some earlier storm so there’s a bit of a haze to the night. “Then I met Eve.”

It should be easy. However, Eve’s hands shake for just a moment before she knocks. The fog helps her for the moment though she wished the porch light didn’t feel so much like a spotlight. Calum would surely be angry with her. She’d call him reckless and his dead wife foolish. Certainly those remarks wouldn’t be overlooked. She doesn’t regret them--just wishes she’d handled it all a bit more delicately. She’d told Māra to hate her, let her be the cursed one like she already was. Enough damage, Eve was previously certain that she’d hear very little again. 

The door opens and Calum smiles at her. “Hi, Eve.”

Her heart races just a little. The grays are sprinkled throughout the black and he still looks good--lived in due to his age, but still handsome as ever. “Hi, Calum,” she breathes in return. 

“C’mon. Come in.” He opens the door wider and Eve steps up and into the house. 

Māra’s gaze is locked in and Eve gives a small wave. She can only hope the jeans and peasant blouse don’t feel overly dramatic as she follows behind Calum. He’d given her no hint as to what the conversation would be about and Eve could not read minds even if she could manipulate dreams. 

“Hi, Māra,” Eve states the closer she gets. “A little birdie told me you wanted to chat?”

Māra nods. “If such a bird is approximately 6’1 in height.”

Eve takes a once over of Calum’s stature. “I’d give him six feet even. He’s getting older; gravity kicks in.”

Calum scoffs at the jab but still offers a drink. Eve politely declines and settles opposite of Māra at the table. “I like your nails,” Māra offers, noticing the points at the end of Eve’s fingers painted a deep green.

“Thank you. I like your hair.” 

“Thanks.” Then there is only silence. Calum hovers in the kitchen paused in his work to pour water though no one wanted it. Eve wants to press figure out what exactly has brought this meeting on but Māra is only a child. It takes time. 

“Dad says you and him go way back? And that you know The Grim Reaper or something?” 

Eve lets a small smile across her lips. “He and I do go way back. And I do know Death. We’re colleagues if you could ever imagine such a thing.” 

“He stole you for a week once,” Calum retorts, setting two glasses down onto the table. “Nearly gave me a heart attack.” 

“I apologized for that.”

“You did,” Calum concedes, returning back to the kitchen for his own glass. 

“You’re such a softie,” Māra huffs. “Key, Cai, and I can never get away with just an apology.” 

“You’re not supposed to,” Calum returns. “It’s in the parental handbook. You get to see a copy once you become a parent.” 

Eve only watches, a soft exhale of laughter falling from her. This is what she wanted for Calum. It would never be with her. Maybe it’s her own selfishness. Maybe it truly is love. In all the centuries Eve has lived she has never once been able to settle on which one it actually is. But it’s a heartwarming scene and Calum settles to Māra’s right and teases her. Perhaps it only matters in retrospect that it has a label. Eve had plenty of time to ponder all the things of the past. 

“Anyways, Dad won’t tell me what happened to you. Like what you meant about not being a shadow. I don’t know. I’m angry sometimes because I know about who I was named after and it feels like my fault? Maybe?” 

Calum squeezes an arm around Māra’s shoulder. “It’s not your fault, sweetpea. It’s mine. You can always change it.” 

Māra only nods but she looks at Eve. Maybe the name wouldn’t be so bad if Māra knew more. But it would all be a sign from the universe. It is a big maybe. Though the possibility is never zero. There’s just Māra’s gut—the voice that says there is something more to know before passing any last judgements. 

Eve nods, gaze falling down to her fingers. “I apologize for my comments last week. Reckless and foolish were harsh words to use about your mother and father.”

“I mean kind of right though,” Māra laughs, elbowing her father. Calum concedes with only a shrug. 

Easier than anticipated but Eve still wanted to right her wrongs. The apology is still sincere and Eve can only hope it’s received as such. “Still, there were kinder words to use.”

“Tell me.” The words fall softly and though it sounds like it should be a demand the lilt in Māra’s voice makes it sound so much more like a question. 

“What do you want to know?” Eve questions in return. 

“Everything.”

“Do you know who I am?” The word what lingers just behind the word who but Eve doesn’t utter it. She is not a thing--a long time coming, the revelation. Eve is a being--mystical and supernatural, but still a being. She is not a thing. 

“Yes.”

“You know what I do?”

Māra gives a shrug. “Vaguely. Keep the pits of Hell wide open. Flames. Bad people--like I said vaguely.”

“When I caused the death of my late husband, Lucifer, I was left to take over his mantle. I was not always the Devil. I was a Saint. I fell because I was married to Lucifer when he fell. I hated it. I hated Lucifer. I wanted nothing more than to go back into the Kingdom. But years passed. Hatred turned into anger. Praying for divorce or separation turned into praying for death. Prayers receive answers, I found out. Lucifer was killed because of my prayers. I became the Devil and as if immortality is not enough, every lover I have is mortal. They’ll pass on and I will see them through to the other side and they will get a story of completion. I get the same story over and over again. A new love, mourning death, a new love, and death yet again.”

“So my dad?” The question doesn’t quite get finished but Eve nods at it. “Oh. But he’s not dead? So…where does my mom fit into this?”

It’s a sad smile--through and through-- Eve’s smile is sad and wobbly as her chin shivers. “Perhaps I have gotten too comfortable with my fate. I can’t bear children. I expect all my lovers to want that--most have. Those who haven’t cared for children aren’t prepared to handle them growing and aging while I’m stuck here, like this.” Eve gives a dismissive wave over herself. 

“Did you want to leave?” Māra turns to Calum for the question. From what she could gather, he’d known all about this. And he still left. 

“Sweetpea,” Calum starts. It’s all he says but everything he needs to say is in the nickname: You don’t need to worry about that. That’s not your battle. It’s mine. That’s my choice. 

“No. I know it’s really not my business why you made those choices and I know that you never want us to feel like we’re responsible for them. But please, this one time, just answer me straight. Did you want to leave Eve?”

“I love Eve and I love Kelsie and I have always loved them both--in similar and in different ways. I knew I wanted kids. I knew that with my job Eve’s immortality would cause problems. I knew I had to make a choice.” Calum knows he’s dodging the question. He tried not to think about his own desires for a long time. He tried not to think about all the other options he could’ve had. Stepping behind the music scenes, going into some sort of semi retirement, hiding too if necessary. He’d briefly considered going with Eve--if she could somehow bring him to Hell. But there was something in his gut that never vocalized the thought. Maybe it’s because Eve’s always seemed content with letting Calum always be human.

“Bullshit.”

Eve snorts at Māra’s retort and looks to Calum for his reaction. She is sure that there’s two ways he’ll respond. 

“Māra,” Calum returns firmly. “You may not like what I’m saying but--” 

“No,” Māra interrupts. “No, Dad. I’m calling you out. We all have choices to make. We always do. You chose to bring Eve back into your life right now. You chose to introduce us. You had a reason for it.”

As much as Calum was proud of how he’d reared his children, he wishes in this moment he hadn’t done such a stellar job as right now. He sighs. “Just know you asked. I never wanted to leave Eve. But if I didn’t, if we didn’t leave the relationship when we had, I wouldn’t have Kiri, or Cailean, or you. I wouldn’t have met Kelsie. I wouldn’t know what it means to love in such soul crushing ways for my children and my late wife. Kelsie and I loved unselfishly. Because we had to. We had Kiri so early on it wasn’t about us all the time though we had our time. Then it was Cailean. Then you. We loved each other the way I want all three of you to love with a partner.”

Eve can see the tears in Māra’s eyes--the way her eyes flicker over his face, like she doesn’t understand. Though she wants to save Calum, she’s worried about crossing a line. She is not replacing nor could she ever replace Kelsie. She’d told Māra that’s not what she would ever do. So Eve flicks her gaze around and spots a napkin tray on the table. She grabs a couple and gingerly puts them into Māra’s palm. 

“I love Eve selfishly,” Calum returns. “In the ways like when you’re young and you see something you just have to have or you think you’re going to die and the world’s going to end. It’s not bad, not all the time. It’s a love that can mature, can grow and really shape into something beautiful. I want it all. And even in my old age, I forget I can’t. I couldn’t then--it’s why we divorced when we did. It’s why I made sure to give everything I could to Kelsie and you three. Because I knew, I knew I couldn’t have it all. But it doesn’t mean I didn’t want it.”

“Might as well call desire a poison,” Eve states. 

“It doesn’t have to be,” Calum corrects, looking up at Eve through his lashes. “Desire does not have to be fatal.”

“When you are me, it is.”

He scoffs. Eve would always be Eve--she’d always carry the curse like a badge. But he knows what’s inside of her. He knows how to make her cry with laughter. He knows how to make her feel as close to human as she can get. “The martyr act got old thirty odd years ago, Eve.”

It’s not quite a scold, but Eve knows the tone. It’s firm and comes from deeper in Calum’s chest than normal. She only nods at his steady gaze. Calum turns back to Māra. In the back of his mind he’s chanting a prayer--that she gets it, that she’ll let this go. “We all grieve in different ways,” Calum starts, staring down at his daughter. Her eyes are glassy. “I’m sorry to rush this, to act like you’re still not learning how to deal with the loss of your mother.”

“What-what if I want what you and Eve have? Had? I don’t know. But something that consumes.”

Calum sighs, eyes shutting at the sentence. “Sweetpea, no. This isn’t to prove anything to you.”

“No, you said you want me to have a love like you and Mom’s. But Mom’s--you love her. I know you did. Or do. Anyone with firing brain cells can see that. You were at PTA meetings with her. You corralled us when she was sick so she could get some sleep. You’d call ahead to restaurants to make sure her allergy wouldn’t be a problem. You love Mom. It’s clear. But what if I don’t want mundane love?”

“It comes with a price. What you want is not easy,” Calum answers. The response falls without hesitation off his tongue. 

“Eve, you have to let me in,” Calum returns. He’s gripping the side of the kitchen counter, trying to keep his voice from rising. Yelling does not solve problems. Yelling only creates a shouting match--and boy, are they good at those. 

“I am. I am letting you in.”

“Where’s Duke?”

“With the dog sitter--I had to go.”

“Go where?”

“You know where.”

Calum’s fingers curl around and he’s quick to fix his fist back to an open palm. “No, I don’t. I don’t know where you had to go. Because the dog sitter didn’t say that in their text.”

“I left a note,” Eve counters. 

Calum snatches the note off the counter. “Cal--Had business to attend to. Texted the dog sitter and Duke’s with her. I may be gone for a while. Love you.”

Eve stands cooly at the entrance of the kitchen. She’d left a note. She’d gotten Duke to the sitter’s house like they agreed when she had to leave for business and wouldn’t be back quickly. 

“That’s the note you left?” Calum questions tossing the single sheet of paper back onto the counter. “How am I supposed to know where you’ve gone?”

“You know where I’m going.”

“You’re always gone. Always,” Calum returns. He was used to him having to leave. He was supposed to leave. It was a part of his job. 

“Calum, I have to leave to conduct my business.” Eve bites back the retort that he knows she has to leave. It’s not going to make the situation any better. She takes a step closer--not daring to touch Calum, but to let him know that she is here now. 

“Why? Why do you have to leave? Stay here with me. Give up your title. Stay here with me, please.” Calum hates how quickly the facade crumbles. He wanted to be pissed. He wanted to have a screaming match with her to prove to both of them that as much as they were supposed to be destined for each other it was already just a thin veil of toxicity. Calum had seen and been a part of his fair share of toxic relationships. He was over them. Sometimes he wished either it was a bad dream he’d wake up from or Eve really was playing games with his heart. But he can’t do that. The truth of the matter is that he loves her too damn much to want to be consistently at odds with her. 

“I’m sorry I leave all the time.”

Calum steps out to the side, out of Eve’s path. “Say you’re going to stay with me. I know you can give it up. Don’t you want to be with me?”

“I do want to be with you.” Eve’s heart thunders in her chest. He’s going to ask it--the one question no one else had dared ask because she never really let them ask. “What can I do to show to you that I want to be with you?”

“You can give it up--stop playing in His game.”

“Is-is there something else?” Eve questions. She nearly pleads that he demands her to do anything else. 

A new fire lights behind Calum’s gaze and where sadness had rained on the initial flare of anger her question lights a new spark. He closes the distance and though he’s breathing is heavy, his hold on her face is gentle. His eyes flicker over her face, taking in the color of her eyes, the moles scattered about her face. A gorgeous sight, Calum knows all too well. But there’s something new to be unearthed. He watches her blinks and the lower lip wobbles. There--there it is. “You don’t know who you are without it, do you?”

Eve shakes her head in his grasp. The tears prickle behind her eye. Her stomach turns a bit with disgust. “No, I don’t. I’ve been like this for so long. I barely remember the before.”

“Let me show you. I don’t know who you were before, but I know you right now. Let me show who you can be if you just give it up.”

It’s all so simple to him. Eve knows it’s not. She can give it up. But the second she does, she’s on a ticking time bomb. She won’t have long. And even if she did beg and plead, her renouncement of her faith all those years ago would surely be used against her. But she wants to give it to Calum--everything he’s desired. But she can’t give it all to him. 

“Please, Calum.”

It is a full sentence. And he only sighs and drops his hands from her cheeks. She’s not going to give it up. He wanted her to, but she didn’t. He nods. “Can-can we just take a time out?” Calum asks. He’s not done with this conversation yet. But he can feel his own throat closing up--too many emotions squeezing at his chest. 

“Yeah, yeah,” Eve nods, wiping her cheeks. He’ll go to the music room. She’ll go to the garden. It’s where they always go. 

As Eve watches Calum shuffling towards the back of the house, her chest aches. He hadn’t gotten what she’d asked. She wanted him to show her who she is. Perhaps, it is for the better that he doesn't. But she wishes, as she settles onto the bench in the middle of her hostas, that Calum heard what she was asking for in between the lines, to please show her who she really is.

Perhaps, she’d never be good at letting him in in ways he’d recognize. 

Calum wishes he could pour his memories into Māra’s brain. He can’t. All he has are his actions and his words. “You can have a much easier life,” he pleads. The rest of the sentence doesn’t fall, but it bashes against his teeth, if you just listened to me for once.

Māra gives a nod, knowing the look in her father’s eyes--the one where he looks like he’s worried and it bleeds into every ounce of his face. It makes her stomach hurt because she knows it’s from such a genuine place. The moment hangs between the three of them like a curtain billowing in a breeze. They can all see the fluttering but do nothing to stop it. So there it hangs and hangs, and hangs. 

“What about you?” Māra asks. Eve just barely recognizes the question is for her before Māra continues on, “Did you want Dad to leave? Do you want him back?”

“Thorough, I see,” Eve grins before exhaling deeply. “I wanted the story I always knew; I wanted the comfort of what is inevitable. I filed the notion for divorce after bringing it up to your father. It was easier to let something go if I was cutting the rope. But as selfish as I was, I-I know the frustrations I caused. I want him to be happy. And I want to only hurt him twice. I’ve gotten my first strike. I hope this is my last time.”

“Eve?” Calum questions, reaching across the table. She slides her hands down into her lap. “No-you don’t. No.” Calum remarks. It’s the same thing she did when she asked about the divorce. “You don’t get to leave me and expect me to just be okay with it. Not again. You can’t keep making choices for me. You won’t. I told you you can’t keep playing the martyr.”

“Is it playing if no one is pretending?”

“I should’ve popped popcorn instead of having ice cream,” Māra whispers. 

It’s the sound of her voice that brings Calum back to earth. “I’m not a child,” he adds softly to Eve. “Let’s talk about it--together-- anyone decides anything.” 

It’s not supposed to go like this. It’s not. Eve’s not supposed to get a shot like this. It never happens. She has her lovers for a few fleeting years and then they want more. They leave her. She lets them. They call her on death beds. She comes--if any of them called, she came. Which is why she is here. Because Calum called her. He asked her to come here. But she’s not supposed to get another stretch with him. It would never work. 

It’s on the tip of her tongue. It’s burning into the enamel of her teeth, You’re getting older. I am standing still. Eve only nods, hands still in her lap. “Okay.” There are very moments of peace. But Eve’s simple response--the one word--brings a stillness to the room yet again. She drifts her gaze to Māra, who quickly looks away. “You should definitely pop some popcorn,” Eve teases. 

Māra snorts at the jab. “That was supposed to be an inside thought.”

“Whoops,” Eve laughs. “Is-is there anything else you want to know, Māra?”

So enveloped in the exchange of her father and Eve, Māra hadn’t thought to contemplate further. She is curious about what Eve does exactly and she’s curious if Eve really means all the things she said, but so far, Eve felt honest. Māra obviously only had her father to back up anything Eve had said. But her gut is settled--Eve is an honest woman, blunt sometimes but always honest. 

Māra shakes her head. “Not right now. But thank you. For coming here and answering the questions I did have. If-if I have more, is it okay for me to get your number from Dad?”

Eve nods. “If you want me to answer anything else, please get my number from him. Or better yet,” Eve pauses and she spies a pen clearly left on the table from some other task and grabs a napkin from the holder. She scribbles down the ten digits. “I may be slow to answer sometimes. I’m not always…within service, you could say. But I will see it--the call or the text eventually. Texts are better for me, but do whatever you prefer.”

Māra takes the napkin with a nod. “Thank you. I’ll let you know it’s me when I text or call.” She goes to go exit, halfway turned to the table, but she thanks Eve one last time for coming by and with one over the shoulder glance to Calum--to which he gives a nod--Māra picks up her laptop and moves back to stairs. She takes them two at a time to the top and it’s quiet in the kitchen until her door closes. 

“We spent how many years together? And you still want to act like I’m unable to fathom the consequences of my actions,” Calum states with a little bit of vile in his tone. He pushes up from the table and rinses the bowl Māra left behind so it doesn’t get sticky. As he pauses at the sink, Calum exhales. “And we’re doing it--again. Going around the same wheel.”

Eve’s slow as she pushes up from the table. Her steps are soft on the hardwood floor. Where she’d previously held back, Eve slips one hand onto Calum’s side. He’s a little softer than she remembers, of course. They were in the height of his youth. Of course as the years trail on, the weight’s settled more and more. But Eve likes it--she likes how his flesh molds around her hold. “You weren’t. I wasn’t expecting you to call when you did. I had you pegged like the others. You’d grieve your wife, the mother of your children, until the end and only then when you were scared that you’d be leaving this earth next you’d have one of your children call out for me.”

Calum nearly whimpers at Eve’s touch. Her touch had always been so sure and confident. She’d always touched him like she dared him to question it and Calum never did. He couldn’t bring himself to. “It’s lonely. After we agreed to end things, I had to learn how to be alone. I-call me stupid or reckless, I don’t want to be alone again. I only get one life and goddamn, I’m not about to spend it regretting something.”

Eve presses into his flesh. It’s an action to beckon Calum to face her. But he doesn’t. He clutches the edges of the counter. So Eve slides her second arm up and over his waist, her fingers thread on his stomach. “I’m sorry,” she whispers into his clothed back.

Her voice makes his spine shiver and Calum drops his head on his neck. Her kiss is warm on his spine and Calum’s throat is tight. He’s missed this--missed someone touching him so gently. He’s missed having someone. 

He’s missed Eve. 

“We can work something out,” Calum whispers. His eyes sting with the tears finally free to shed. “The kids--it’s going to take a minute I know. But I need you for me.” Calum pushes up and Eve gives him space to face her. She wipes at the tears on his cheeks. He holds her waist--and God, she’s still the same in his arms. 

“Do you remember when--oh, it’s been years now-- but you asked me to give this all up?” Calum nods at Eve’s question. “And you figured out the truth--I don’t know who I am if I’m not the Devil. But you begged--you begged me to show me who I was beneath it all. That ring a bell?”

Calum remembers it clearly. “Sounds like us. And you essentially shot down the idea.”

Eve shakes her head. “No. I was telling you to show me who I am. But I didn’t have the right words. I didn’t know how to say it. I was agreeing with you--something I’m sure is a shock.”

Calum’s laughter rumbles through his chest. The lines on his face are a little deeper as he smiles with the action. “You were reluctant to admit that sometimes.”

“I still don’t know what I’m really meant to do outside of this mantle. But I know I don’t want to give it up. I like this, I’ve learned. It’s shitty work sometimes--dealing with some of the nastiest folks on this planet. But I walk Earth a lot more now than before. I can help them before it’s too late. I get to make a change and I’m everything He’s said to despise. I like knitting. Can you believe that? Me, knitting,” Eve laughs at the confession. 

“Please tell me you’re knitting more than socks,” Calum teases. 

“Maybe I am,” Eve retorts.

“What else are you doing then? Are you still raising hell for poor folks in bars with your feminine wiles?”

Eve chuckles, but shakes her head. “No, not right now.” In the future, she’d have to start over with someone new. She’d have to put herself in just the right spot to be spotted again. She’d spend months on the hunt, but she doesn’t have to do that right now. “See--that’s the problem.”

“What is?” Calum tucks some of her hair behind her ear. Only on the right side though. She liked leaving the left out. His fingers are soft as they trail down the skin of her jaw. “What’s the problem?”

It’s so easy to give in. When Calum’s holding her close and she can smell the scent of his fading cologne and detergent, Eve’s weak. He’s her achilles heel. Eve’s glad only the two of them know that. She’s glad for the moment she can melt away and drop her head to his chest. Calum cradles the back of her head, the black strands, slipping easily through his fingers. He rests his cheek on the top of her head. God, even her shampoo is the same, Calum realizes. 

“The problem is that I-I don’t know how to do this, being me outside of the mantle all the time. Will you help me?”

The question makes the air in Calum’s throat catch--he had not expected Eve to give in so easily after she’d just stated that she was willing and wanted to leave. He cranks his head up and hers back to get a solid look at her. “Please tell me you mean that.”

It only takes three words for Calum’s chest to spasm in relief. “I mean it.”

*************************

They don’t meet outside of Calum’s house or property initially. At first, it’s in the dead of the night when Calum’s sure the kids are all asleep or they are all out when Eve comes over. It starts innocently at first--a conjuring of a list with all the things Eve thought she might like but hadn’t really given herself enough space to try--needle punching, skydiving, brewing beer. It’s a silly list. Calum laughs as he fixes them tea or something heavier for the night as Eve considers the youth she never had. She contemplates comics and boardgames. 

But the touches linger longer. It gets easier to flirt like they used to. The goodbye kisses turn into greeting kisses. The greeting kisses turn into just because kisses. The act of falling in love a second time feels faster and slower than the first time. But they’re okay with it. It lands them all here, Eve standing at the coffee pot. She liked having a cup of something warm in her hands—a grounding sensation though it might seem counterintuitive. Calum holds her from behind, pressing gentle kisses over her neck. She giggles at the sensation of the beard he’s let grow in scratch the skin of her neck. 

“I’m going to spill this creamer if you don’t quit it,” Eve returns through her laughter. 

“I won’t tell Cailean.” The voice startles both Eve and Calum. Calum pulls away, reacting as if fire sparked suddenly around Eve and Eve’s grip slips on the small cup of creamer. It lands on the tile floor of the kitchen with a wet thud. “He’d be crushed,” Kiri smiles. He leans into the arch of the doorway. 

“It’s not--” Calum starts.

Kiri shakes his head interrupting his father’s explanation. “It surely looks like it and I hate to intrude, but I’d like a cup if it’s not decaf.”

“Sure,” Eve nods. “Yeah.” She spins back to the pot and takes the mug she’d just poured for herself and offers it up. “Clearly, I haven’t added anything yet to it. It’s all over the floor. How many creamers?”

“None,” Kiri returns, stepping in to take the extended mug. “Sorry again.”

“No worries,” Eve states and starts to clean up the creamer she dropped. It’s a miracle that it was only the small travel cups Calum had and not a whole bottle. Kiri grins at his father as he exits. Calum huffs and gently swats at his arm. The two share a quick tuft of laughter and Calum starts to help Eve. 

“I got it,” she returns. “Save your knees.”

“I know I’m sixty, but God, I’m not that old.”

“Could’ve fooled me.”

The pair work in relative silence but Eve feels the shiver crawling up her back. Her head pops up just as a roll of thunder sounds overhead. It’s a sound Calum knows all too well. He gets the handful of the paper town he had in his hand into the trash, which were drying the wet spot Eve made to keep the floor from getting sticky, before standing. Eve’s up not too soon after him. Calum takes her forearm into his grip. His thumb strokes her skin. “Be safe, okay?”

“I will be.”

“Text me when you’re done, back on this side, please.”

Eve nods. “I will.” She wants to let Calum have this tender moment, but she’s aware that Cailean and Māra could also be awake. She also doesn’t want to wait too long and have another crack of thunder to startle them. She stretches up, capturing Calum’s lip in a gentle kiss, and then she’s rushing from the kitchen, out the front door. The door closes softly. Calum straightens out the rest of the kitchen and knows he has to retire soon lest he be in for a reckoning in the morning.

In the morning, a text is already waiting for Calum 2:31 AM--Safe, but this one is nasty. Will be gone for a few days. 

I understand. Take care of yourself out there. Calum lets the text send and does his best not to wait for a response. Whether she left immediately or whether she wanted for a response can’t stop Calum from the things he has to do. He’s got breakfast to get sorted. Cailean and Māra both need rides to school. Kiri’s in his first year of community college and can get to and from the house and classes with the second car. Cailean’s working on his license, but the responsibility was still Calum’s to shoulder for now. Even if the nights are filled with Eve and his ghost of his youth, the days are still filled with fatherhood. 

It shocks Calum that he’s not shocked when three days later his phone shakes again and it’s Eve. Calum had anticipated the days would worry him sick, but instead all he did was hope for her safety in the stillness. Perhaps his worry is overshadowed by the ever marching sadness of his own. Three days to come and he would’ve been celebrating yet another wedding anniversary. Kelsie would no doubt want to try some new cookie recipe. It would fail because Calum would be too distracted. Kelsie would laugh. They would be happy. Calum’s own goal is just to make it through each day. That’s all he needed to do.

He only wanted to know when she came back she’d bug him undoubtedly about something else to knit or do. It could offer distraction. It would remind Calum that there is still love for him. His flame with Eve was comfortable but the years and love with Kelsie are not easily let go either. Besides, Eve’s absence is not a sign of anything other than duty. Eve didn’t know the dates and she couldn’t neglect her job either. Eve’s absence is just as filling as her presence. Calum wants her close, but can let her go. Just as he wants when she is on his side, he wants when she is not, but there’s less selfish desire. 

Back. Let me know when you’re free. Please. 

Calum goes to start his reply that he’ll be free in the afternoon, but before his fingers can hit the first keys, Māra and Cailean start a shouting match. Calum slips his phone into his back pocket and slides out from the kitchen. “Whoa, do I need to referee here?” he offers, noticing between them the last bites of their breakfast. Both of them have a grip on the ends of the banana. He’s left out one banana, some cut up strawberries mixed in with blueberries and an orange. Cailean almost always goes for the banana whereas Māra tends to go orange.

“I had it first,” Māra barks over to Cailean. 

Calum, noticing the glint on his boy’s face, steps in closer, one hand resting on Cailean’s shoulder. Though he’s always respectful, and will do what is necessary to help, he’s quick when he’s angry to make quips that he knows are hurtful. “Son, please don’t. There’s a whole bunch in the kitchen.”

Cailean lets go of the fruit but doesn’t tear his gaze away from Māra. “Stop meddling,” he hisses in return. 

Calum raises a brow. What had Māra been meddling in? “Māra,” Calum offers sternly. It’s a silent command to explain herself and she knows it. 

Māra sighs. “You like her, you idiot. I’m just trying to help.”

Cailean huffs, arms tossed up into the air. “You--Just stay out of it! Please.” 

“But I’m right, aren’t I?” Māra presses on. 

“Just because you are doesn’t mean you should get involved. Yvette--she’s untouchable to me, alright? The last thing she needs is my little sister--a freshman to my juniority-- approaching her. We have a week and half left of this project and you’ve just made the whole thing awkward. And to add to that, she’s already talking to Leonard. They’ve been talking since the summer.”

Calum knows Leonard--a kid Cailean has been friends with since they met on the playground at the seesaws. He remembers the smile on Cailean’s face when he made a friend on the second day of class that wasn’t his brother. The two of them could do damage. Cailean joked around, but always had brakes. Leonard did not. Once Calum got a call from the skate shop in the shopping center just a mile up the road about Cailean and Leonard sitting in the back office. The thing is that Cailean wouldn’t snitch on Leonard in the moment but when they got off with a stern warning thanks to Cailean’s sincere apology for the package of socks, Cailean folded in the car. He told Calum that he’d been trying to talk Leonard out of lifting the skate socks. And their argument had gotten them caught in the first place. It caused a rift but the boys recovered fast. Leonard is all gas. Cailean has the brakes. 

Even though Māra wouldn’t have that information, she would know how close Cailean and Leonard are. Talking to the girl your best friend likes that you like too would be a definite no.  “Oh,” she states. 

“Yeah, yeah, exactly that.”

“I thought--”

“I know what you thought, Mar. Sometimes you don’t know everything. They call it pining for a reason.” 

Māra holds out the banana. “I’m sorry Cailean. I shouldn’t have gotten involved, not without talking to you first. Do you want me to talk to Leonard?”

Cailean’s eyes widen so much that they nearly take over his forehead. If it weren’t for the true terror in his face, it might be funny. “No. Absolutely not. I’ll do the damage control.”

Māra only nods. Her third apology is softer than the first two and Cailean waves for her to keep the fruit. He settles on the orange instead and as quickly as the explosion occurred, the debris settles and clears. Calum retreats, going back to the last of the dishes he had while he prepped breakfast then gets them off to school. Calum heads straight over to the studio after he sees off, intending to finalize the last few takes he’d left from the day before. 

By the time he thinks to check his phone again, noon has crept into 1 PM and he realizes his response to Eve had never been drafted, let alone sent. Calum pushes away from the turkey sub on the table. He hadn’t even meant to leave her without a response for so long. The rest of the guys watch him as he goes. Ashton reaches over and wraps the sandwich backup in case he’s gone for longer than a moment. 

Calum holds the phone to his ear, listening to the ringing and ringing. There’s some static but as he steps outside into the bright day the sound clears up. He prays he hasn’t missed her totally. Though Eve had gotten good at communicating about when she had to go even if it’s back to back, there were a few times when she hadn’t been able to shoot off that quick text. Right on the fifth ring, when Calum’s set to hang up the call and respond with a text, the line connects. 

“Eve speaking.” Her voice cracks just a little on the phrase. 

“Eve? It’s me, Calum. I say this with love you should like shit.” 

“Hey. Yeah, it was a particularly rough one.” 

The truth about rough ones is that they happen all the time. Eve’s used to rough ones. But this one feels different than the others. She’d gotten there with Death, right at the start. Normally, a lot of what she did was after the fact. Death had already carried them to her or to Heaven. They’d already made some peace with their fate. But Death had gotten the call right as they were supposed to be wrapping up. So Eve went too--it made sense. She would go with Death. They’d handle whomever they needed and Eve would carry on with her life, like she’s always done. 

But cradling a child--attempting to soothe them as their parents teetered on the edge between clinging to life and falling into death was not something Eve had been prepared for. She’s seen vile humans, pissed that their actions had consequences. She’s had to take parents who thought their actions to their children wouldn’t warrant a visit and condemnation to her. She’d handled a lot of evil-pure and simple evil. But she hadn’t quite had to hold a child in years, not like this. Eve hadn’t had to soothe a baby--months old--fearful of its new fate, not understanding what had gone on. 

And all Eve had were lies. All she could tell him was that he was okay. He wasn’t hurt anymore. He had nothing to cry about. His parents would love him forever. He was okay. All Eve could tell him were lies. She felt her only saving grace was that he’d never fully understand. He’d never understand that they were lies. He’d find a new normal. He’d have his parents when it was their time, but in the interim he’d have something free of pain. He’d adapt. 

But how does a child comprehend that? A silver lining that will only ever take time and his time, a baby months old, has run out. 

“I-” Eve’s voice breaks again. 

“Where are you? I can get you,” Calum offers. His chest constricts. It is not good. Whatever it is is definitely not good. 

“I’m actually at the back of your studio. When you called, I, uh, realized where you were.” Eve doesn’t dare say that she went looking. She searched for Calum in the hopes he’d answer her text soon and found him initially with his kids. So she waited. She watched him come to the studio. Her fingers ached from how tightly she held her phone, a silent prayer and begging that he just looked at his phone for longer than a second, that he went back to their text messages and saw she was asking for him. She didn’t want to push. Her heart ached for him though. She wanted nothing more than comfort and from Calum alone. But she wouldn't intrude. 

Calum pushes off the wall. He slips the phone onto his shoulder and jogs back into the building. “Stay where you are. Are you in the alley?”

“Yes.” It crackles as Eve answers and Calum jogs past the kitchen. The shout of his name doesn’t stop him as he works down the hallway. He passes the elevators, side doors, and windows. Calum continues on, listening to the sniffle of Eve through the receiver. Eve’s never quite sounded like this. She managed to keep those things separate. She somehow managed to see horrors on a daily basis and never quite let it fully seep through. Until now. 

Now something is cracking in Eve and she can’t stop it. Calum’s heart beats in his chest, he can feel it against his ribs. He’s not sure if he’s running to stop the dam from bursting or if he’s going to be cleaning up the waters seeping through. But he realizes as the gray doors fill out in front of him, it doesn’t matter which one he gets. He’s going to be there no matter what. Calum slams his palms into the silver handle, the harsh click echoes through the speakers and as the doors swing open, Eve fills out in front of him. 

He manages just barely to get his phone down from his shoulder and into his back pocket. Her eyes are a twinge red. Her cheeks are mostly clear, but it’s clear fresh tears are on her lower lash line. 

“Can I just have a hug?” Eve asks. 

Calum pulls her into the building, arms wrapping around her. Her face presses into his chest and she inhales, so deeply it lifts Calum’s arms with the action. “Hey, I’m here. It’s alright. It’s okay.”

There it is again--the same lie she had to tell. The sob falls from her chest, muffled by the firmness of his chest and the t-shirt. 

Everything Calum can think to do, a soothing hand along her spine, kisses to the crown of her head, a gentle hum and reassurances, don’t fully cut through the tears. Eve doesn’t shake. It’s not a crumble. It doesn’t seem like she’s trying to stop it. It’s like she only needs a reason to let it out, to let it go. So Eve stands, voice cracking as everything she’d been biting back breaks free, and she clings to Calum, but she never crumbles. 

“C’mon, Eve, just breathe for me.” After a few minutes of the wails turning into hiccups, Calum knows he’s got to get Eve to regulate her breathing. If not, she’ll start dry heaving and though he’s dealt with his fair share of vomit, he does not want to have to deal with it. He inhales deeply through his nose and lets it all out through his mouth. He inhales once more to blow it all out and on the third breath, Eve joins in. He continues with the inhales and exhales until the grip Eve has on his shirt loosens. 

“I-I’m sorry,” she whispers. 

“You don’t have to be sorry,” Calum returns. He presses his cheek to the top of her head. The thump of his own heart still feels rapid—like he can’t quite come down from the edge he’d pulled Eve from. So he squeezes, letting her own deep inhales brush against his chest. Perhaps that too will remind him that they’re both okay now. 

“I-Admittedly, I did sort of follow you. I kept hoping you’d see my text again.” 

The confession is only a whisper but Calum hears it, a quick snort leaving his nose. “You should’ve just called, babe.”

“You seemed busy.” 

It’s not the time to remark that this is the same behavior they went around in circles on last time. Instead, Calum gently urges her head back. Her cheeks are tear stained. Her eyes are swollen and red. “Being busy and taking a few minutes to answer a call are not mutually exclusive. When you tell me you need me, I can help. If you don’t, I won’t know for certain.” 

“I’m doing it again. I know. I just—call it a self fulfilling prophecy. I’m used to being able to handle this kind of stuff.” 

Calum strokes a thumb along the apple of her left cheek. “Do you want to talk about it?” 

“He-,” her chin wobbles in Calum’s palm. Eve inhales and it steadies her a bit. “He was just a baby. 4 maybe 5 months old. I held him. He cried. But of course he did. Car accident. He wanted his parents but they weren’t...” The silence says what Eve doesn’t. Calum nods that he understands. The baby’s parents weren’t dead yet. He couldn’t have them in the way that he might’ve wanted. 

Eve continues on at the confirmation.“Not then anyway. And he wouldn’t come with me but I was the only one with hands free so I held him. Nothing I did soothed him. And I lied to him. I lied to a little baby because what do you tell them? When they are watching but can’t understand what do you tell them?”

Calum blinks. Part of him assumed that with time she’d gotten used to this. But the more he listens the more he thinks no one with one iota of feeling could ever get used to children being involved. Adults were one thing—fully formed beings with abilities hopefully to understand right from wrong. But children—babies especially—were different. They didn’t know. They couldn’t. They were still learning. “And you don’t normally interfere at that point do you?”

Eve shakes her head. “No. Either they come to me or if they’re being stubborn I’ll get them but in the midst when fates are hanging on by threads, no.” 

Calum can only think of pulling her in. He seals another kiss to the top of her head. “I’m sorry you went through that. You did what you thought was best and I think that’s brave in and of itself.” 

Eve inhales deeply. Her nostrils are filled with a scent distinctly Calum--his detergent which she’s pretty sure is the Gain he’s used for years, the faint catch of nicotine, and his cologne. The mixture invades her nose, clinging to the inches inside her nostrils. “Sorry,” Eve mutters again into his chest. “For not just texting you again.”

“Next time, you’ll get it next time,” Calum offers. It’s not dismissive. He means it like a promise, like there will be a next time. Like he wants there to be a next time. He cradles the back of her head, fingers threading ever so slightly between the strands. “What are you doing for the rest of the day?”

“I-When do you have to get back to your kids?”

Calum laughs, mostly an exhale through his nose. His lips find the crown of her head above before he coaxes her gently out from his chest. Her face is still red and a little puffy. One hand finds her cheek and Calum strokes his thumb over the warm flesh. “You don’t have to be polite, Eve. What are you doing for the rest of the day?”

“I--” The stern lift of Calum’s brow freezes Eve. “Nothing that I know of, of course.”

“The guys and I are mostly just writing. Though I think one piece might need another tracking. Would you want to stay with me? The kids all have things they’re doing. Māra’s got a sleepover and she’s getting a ride with them. Insisted on packing her bag last night to take to school today. Cailean’s got a standing date with some friends on Friday nights. He’ll be back later. Kiri’s almost always out. I think he only uses the house to eat, shit, and shower.”

“Can I stay just until you head home?” Eve whispers. 

“You can stay with me for as long as you need.”

“Thank you.”

“Of course. Are you hungry?”

Eve shakes her head as much as she can with Calum’s palms still pressed into her cheek. “No, no I’m not hungry.”

Calum nods. “Okay. C’mon. Let’s get some cold water on your cheeks; that okay?” He only gets a nod but when he grips Eve’s hand, she squeezes back. He leads them back to the bathrooms--a gender neutral option right next to the women’s. Calum doesn’t miss the swift movement from the corner of his vision. No doubt it’s the guys. He hadn’t really discussed with them how much he had been in contact with Even. They’d surely learn it today though. 

Inside the bathroom, Calum turns the cold water on before grabbing a couple handful of paper towels. They’re thin and will undoubtedly soak all the way through, but they’ll have to do. Calum is quick, the water touches and not even a full two seconds later, he pulls the paper out. Eve stands, hovering a few inches behind him. Her irises are purple in her reflection when Calum gazes up, as they’ve always been. But it’s in the reflection that Calum realizes for once the tiredness in that glaze of her eyes. 

“Come,” he offers quietly. He nods, into the mirror, like he wants Eve to meet him their in the reflection. 

She knows differently and approaches slowly from behind. Calum turns to meet her and she slots up against the sink. The paper towel drips onto her shirt--thankfully it’s black. Calum’s gentle as he can as he dabs her cheeks. “You did the right thing,” Calum whispers. “It’s the same thing I would’ve done.”

“Doesn’t mean it feels right.”

Calum smiles, one side of his cheeks lifting first. “No, sometimes the right thing feels wrong. What else were you going to do? Tell the poor baby he’s dead. He’s never going to see his parents again.”

“I would’ve been telling the truth.”

Calum tsks. “Rule one of the parenting rule book: you get to tell white lies.”

“At least one of us knows the rules.”

“Telling the truth all the time isn't easy. They’re not built for the truth all the time. Being an adult, regardless of parenthood or not, means we have to try and make this cruel world make the most sense for them. We have to figure out how to break it down for them. How do you explain cruelty to a child? How do you tell a child that just because something bad happens doesn’t mean there isn’t something good in it? Perhaps, the one thing being a parent has taught me is that some life lessons are shitty and there’s no easy way to learn them. He’s a baby. He wasn’t ready for that life lesson yet. But he got dealt that hand and you did the best you could for him. That’s the thing I need you to see. You did the best you could by that sweet baby because you saw him in the middle of a life lesson much too cruel for him.”

Calum wants to say more. It burns the tip of his tongue that she would make a great mother. Even if she couldn’t physically bear children, she already had a natural instinct. But Eve isn’t ready for that. Calum’s never sure when she will be. But most definitely not right now. Calum tosses the soggy paper towels into the trash and then gingerly dabs fresh paper towels on her flesh to dry away the cool water. 

Eve’s nails trail over his wrist as he takes hold of her chin and turns her head to the left. “You don’t…” she offers softly. Calum would regardless. He would do it anyway--that’s the beauty and tragedy of it all. They’d always do it for each other. 

“I am,” Calum returns. It’s two words, but it carries with it the belly of their entire relationship. 

It only takes one of them to call for the other and they’d answer. The call wouldn’t even have to be fully uttered either before feet would hit ground. 

The walk back to the kitchen is short from the bathroom and Eve walks behind Calum the entire way. The boys rush to settle back into their seats, the feet of the seats scrape against the tile of the floor as they rush to settle. “You lot are not subtle,” Calum reprimands. 

“We just--you ran out of here. Thought it might’ve been the kids or something,” Ashton returns. 

Eve waves from behind Calum’s shoulder, one hand still in his grip. “Not quite his kids.” Eve’s not sure what she expected. Perhaps she was bracing for the side eyes. Maybe she was even anticipating them to shout at her for breaking Calum’s heart thirty years ago. But none of that happens. It’s uneasy--they look at her, then to Calum, and then amongst themselves attempting to decode what is truly happening in front of them. But no one is openly hostile. They stand, or sit, in a hanging inbetween. 

“If I didn’t know better, I would’ve said you made a deal with the devil, Eve,” Ashton teases. His laughter is light. “No way it’s been some thirty years or something like it.”

“Could say the same for you,” she laughs. Leave it to Ashton--a comedian even when it might get him in trouble. But Eve’s grateful for the breaking of the ice. Michael offers up his seat for her to take so she’s next to Calum and she declines with a shake of her head. “Thank you though.”

The decline is clearly not enough because Calum guides her to his previous spot. His offering is silent, but firm. He pulls the chair out and his eyes say it all. Eve settles into the chair, turning a question over to the guys about what they’ve been up to since they last spoke. 

“Same old same old,” Luke laughs. “You’d think we'd have something more exciting to say but I’m sure you’re the one that has more exciting stories.”

Eve shakes her head. She can feel the waiver of her own smile. “I fear sometimes it might be too exciting.” A bottle of water settles down in front of her, Calum’s tattooed hands sliding out of her vision by the time she catches the movement. “Thanks,” she returns softly to him.

“Of course,” Calum returns, hands sliding now to her shoulders. He squeezes and she settles back into the chair a little bit more. “Besides, Luke’s too ashamed to talk about the bike he bought. Wife is still pissed about that one, buddy.”

“You bought a motorcycle?” Eve questions before taking down a large sip of water. 

“Call it a mid-life crisis,” Luke huffs. 

“More like a three-fourths life crisis,” Michael jokes. “Half our lives were like ten odd years ago.”

“Ouch,” Luke laughs, hand rubbing at his chest right over his heart. “You’re a killer.”

Eve asks about their children: Micheal’s only, Luke’s twins, and Ashton’s five. All of the men wear pride on their faces as they talk--from robotics club to theater, all of them are figuring out their lives to which their fathers could never be more proud. The remainder of their lunch passes in a comfortable sway of silence and occasional quips. Eve tries to offer Calum back his seat so he can finish his food. He declines, taking the sandwich and standing up against the window behind the table. 

The studio has a couch, computer chairs and other seating arrangements sprawled across the spacious entry. The booth is a bit tinier, but the room squeezes in a comfort that reminds Eve of the way Calum’s old house used to feel. The warm browns and oranges sooth the still buzzing electricity in Eve’s veins. She perches herself into the couch, right up against the right arm and Calum settles next to her. His arm drapes over her shoulder. A squeeze, his palm pressed into her bicep. Eve goes, following the directive without much thought as she leans into Calum’s side, head not quite resting into his shoulder. Calum’s laughing at something Michael said but he coaxes her, a hand sliding to her neck and jaw to finish the movement and have her relax fully into him. Eve settles her head onto his shoulder. Her nose brushes at his throat when she looks up. Like Calum can feel the gaze he glances down. 

“I’ve got you,” he whispers. “It’s alright.” It’s alright to trust me again. It’s alright that I trust you again. It’s alright that you needed me. It’s alright when I need you. Calum doesn’t say any of this. He feels like he doesn’t need to when Eve turns just a little. Her knees draw up, arms wrapping around his torso. He needs Eve to need him and want him too. And she did--she had to in order to so desperately wish for him to check his phone. 

She can lean into him. But she must also speak. Clearly and directly. No half finished sentences, no silent pleading. Eve had lifetimes to build the habit and Calum’s only hope is that she won’t need his whole lifetime to break it. 

As evening gives its first warning of its descent, the guys disband for the day. The songs are in a place where they too can rest for a night. In all their years, they’ve learned the art of rest. Rest, too, is a powerful tool with creation. At the doors for the studio, Calum and Eve stand hand in hand a few feet shy of the piercing reality. She’d only asked for the day before he left. Would she want more?

“Would you like to come over for dinner?” Calum asks. 

Eve swallows at the question. She really doesn’t want to intrude, but she doesn’t want to let go either. “Yes, as long as you’re sure I won’t be in the way.”

“You won’t. You won’t be in the way,” Calum assures. 

“Yes,” Eve returns, “I’d like to come over for dinner.”

The house is silent when they arrive. The lack of cars in the driveway should’ve given it away, but when Eve steps in over the threshold there is a buzzing quietness. She’s more prepared to deal with his kids, questions, and even stares. But there is nothing though Calum’s voice is enough to cut through the silence. “Today was going to be a simple pasta bake. Is that good? I could order us something. But I don’t want the onions and peppers to go to waste, if I’m honest.”

“Pasta is fine,” Eve answers. “Would-would you like help?”

Calum turns, spotting Eve leaning into the archway between the dining room and the kitchen. He grins. “Absolutely I would love help.”

They are relatively quiet as they work. Calum directs on what he needs assistance with and Eve speaks only to affirm the instruction, or to warn Calum when she’s behind him. They don’t need too many words in this setting and when she gets the onion chopped fully she slides them in the other veggies being sauteed. Though Eve doesn’t know everything in this kitchen, she still remembers their system. Eve starts washing the dishes. Calum slips each piece ready to be washed next to her. She double checks nothing is burning while he goes to grab something from the pantry. 

The heat of the oven swells between them. Calum slips the glass dish into the oven and Eve’s working on the last of the spatulas and pans to wash. They can feel, beneath the hot waft, the heat of each other too. An underlying pulse that Calum wishes to quicken. He slips behind Eve, hands settling on her waist. “You okay?”

She nods. “I think so. Just drained now mostly. Thank you. I haven’t said that and I should. Thank you.”

“You don’t have to thank me,” Calum returns, placing a kiss on her cheek. 

“But I do.”

“In case you forgot, we are literally destined for each other.”

“So it’s destiny now?” Eve asks, letting the water go from the sink. The last of the dishes are now cleaned. Well until they eat. But those are dishes for another time. They are for worrying later about. 

“You’re the only one that still calls it a curse,” Calum answers. “Is it fucked up how it has to happen? Absolutely. But I don’t think loving someone is a bad thing. I don’t ever regret you, Eve.”

She spins now. Calum’s eyes aren’t sad. They’re dark brown like they’ve always been and Eve swears she could fall through the velvety gaze. “I most certainly don’t regret you.”

“It’s sort of impossible to regret me,” Calum teases. It earns him a scoff and a light slap on his chest. He holds her hand there, both palms wrapped around her single. “I mean it more seriously though. I was angry when you wanted to divorce, but I also knew it would come. You wanted me to have a full life and as ready as I was to give it all up, I’m glad you did push. I still think it should’ve been more of a discussion.”

“Ah, okay, yes, it should’ve been,” Eve concedes. 

“Curses should have more dread in them, don’t you think?”

Eve watches the way Calum inches in, hands taking her waist more solidly in their grips. “Calum,” she offers softly. Not quite a warning, but something like a plea. Here? Now? she is asking. 

He relents, kissing her forehead and dropping his hands from her waist. “It’s just a question. But I would like an answer. Whenever you’re ready.”

Though Calum moves to the dining room, Eve stays at the sink. His fingers curl around the box--cigarettes--and his lighter. Eve’s voice shakes just a little on the first, “I think curses have dread. And I think curses also have a little bit of pleasure in them too. I just need more time to rediscover that pleasure. Like perhaps after sleep.”

Calum grins around the butt of his cigarette at the last part of her statement. He hadn’t thought she’d lost her physical attraction to him, but it is still a nice boost to confidence to hear it verbally. “You don’t need sleep last time I checked.”

“But you do. I need a little bit more time to shake through the jitters.” Eve pushes from the counter now, closing the distance between them. She plucks the nicotine filled paper from between his lips. “And you always said you’d quit when you had kids.”

“I’m a social smoker,” Calum returns. “Never around the kids and never by myself.”

“What sadness is your smoking buddy now?”

Calum shakes his head, eyes falling to the floor. He catches the green on Eve’s toes--a shimmery polish that looks like it has some sort of metallic reflection. He shouldn’t. Eve had needed him, not that he couldn’t voice his own needs but he didn’t want to unload on her when she was already dealing with her own things. He could call one of the guys. They’d always be happy to listen to him. Which is what he’d intended to do before Eve spotted it--the true reason for his insistence. 

“Kelsie, isn’t it?” Eve deduces. 

“I see those horns are still sharp,” Calum returns. He’s not paying attention, trying to steady his own breath. But he can reach rustling. Something gently brushes against his lips and he brings his gaze back into focus. The butt of a cigarette dangles in front of him. He continues up. Eve stands next to him, a cigarette between her lips too. 

“Can’t have you smoking alone.”

“What happened to: it’s bad for me? It’s going to kill me?”

“Everyone dies. Something takes us out of the world eventually.”

“Not you.”

Eve snorts, before pulling her own cigarette free from her lips. “I was created. I can be destroyed too. I have loved too and I have been devastated by love too.” She brings back the cigarette she’d offered to Calum. “Take the smoke.”

The pair carry on down the hallway towards the backdoor. Calum leads the way and Eve follows behind, taking in the sights of all the kids in their picture day best. She pauses at a family vacation photo. Calum and Kelsie stand in the back. Māra’s tucked into Calum’s grasp--possibly five or so in the photo. Kiri and Cailean stand in front, grinning hard. She’s never seen the house they’re in front of. But she likes, as she imagines, that it might be his mother’s place they’re visiting. Kelsie’s laughing in the photo, grinning up at Calum. Calum’s smiling down at her too in return. It’s clear the photo was captured when they weren’t ready for it. Their skin looks sun kissed, a setting sun giving the photo a pink and red twinged hue. 

“My mom took that photo,” Calum offers. He’d held the door open for Eve, and was momentarily shocked when she wasn’t directly behind him. “We’d been at the beach all day. Kiri and Cailean were sunburned terrible, but they were more than happy with themselves for catching a few waves.”

“Did you teach them?”

“Luke actually. I taught all of them how to swim. Sort of a combined family and band retreat.”

“Did Māra join in?” Eve asks, turning her attention away from the picture to Calum. 

He nods, a small smile lifting his cheeks. “She caught one within her third try. Boys took nearly half an hour because they kept rough housing.”

“Life father, like sons.”

“Oh, I’m not that bad,” Calum laughs. “Not anymore at least.”

The question burns Eve’s tongue and she glances back up to the photo. She and Kelsie are distinct opposites--Eve’s dark skin and dark hair are starkly different from Kelsie’s paler skin. And Eve is by no means trying to compare the two of them. They were two vastly different people. “Did Kelsie take convincing?”

“Only took all three kids begging. But she got out there.” Calum catches the faint sound of Kelsie’s laughter in his memory. 

“No, no,” Kelsie laughs. “I am not built for surfing.” She likes being tucked up on the shore. Her and Joy have been laughing amongst themselves, keeping the food safe in the coolers. Kelsie’s rather enjoyed rating all her children’s attempts--always higher than a 7, even on the harshest fails because they’re just so proud of themselves. Swimming, paddling, perhaps even snorkeling could intrigue her, but she is not a surfer. 

“Please, Mom,” Kiri begs. “Dad will protect you! He always does.”

Calum stands behind Kiri, hands on the shoulder of his wetsuit. “Only if you really want to, Kels. You know that. But I’ll be right there.” It’d been a few years since Calum had really gotten on a board, but surfing was a skill akin to riding a bike. The second you got back onto it, everything came rushing back. Sure there were some mistakes, but it was still a skill that could resurface in time. 

“Mom, please!” Cailean insists, panting a bit after sucking down several large gulps of his water. “It’s so much fun!”

“Mommy, please,” Māra chimes in from Joy’s lap. She’d retired there after her half an hour on the board. 

Calum only watches Kelsie. She worries her bottom lip between her teeth. Her uncertainty is clear and when she looks up to Calum, he sees everything she’s asking. “I’ll be right there,” he assures. “I can’t promise you won’t fall, but I can promise I’ll help you up.”

“You better help me back up,” she laughs, but extends her hand out. 

Calum helps her up, using the hand he has on her wrist to tug her flush against his body. “Are you sure?”

“Yeah, the kids did it. It can’t be that bad.”

“You don’t have to,” he whispers against her lips. “Not in the slightest.”

“At least one attempt,” Kelise whispers back before capturing his lips in a true kiss. “At least once.”

Calum blinks. The hallway opens back up to his vision. Eve stands, watching him. There’s no judgment in her gaze, just an openness for him to share what he wants, feel what he needs to feel. Calum turns, back resting into the wall of the hallway. “I don’t even sleep in our bedroom anymore. Can’t,” he confesses. 

“How long?” Eve asks. 

“Since she died, really. Māra used to sleep on her side. Even now, sometimes when I come in from the guest bedroom to get clothes or something, Māra’s sitting on Kelsie’s side. Just doesn’t feel the same.”

“It won’t,” Eve states. “It won’t feel the same.”

Calum knew that--when he decided he wouldn’t move even though he wanted to, and when he asked for Eve to come over all those months ago, he knew it wouldn’t be the same. Perhaps it is selfish. It is selfish to wish that Eve could fill the void Kelsie had left. It is selfish to think either woman held the same place in his heart. But just because he knew it was selfish, doesn’t mean that common sense would override desperation. That’s what it is in his bones and the bags of his eyes. Calum is fucking desperate. He wants something to make him feel normal. But there is nothing normal about his life now. Not a single damn thing.

“Yeah,” Calum agrees. His throat is tight and his voice is thick as he speaks. “Yeah, I’m realizing that now.”

Eve takes his hand. It’s not to push him, not to force him to make any particular movement. In fact, she leans against the wall next to Calum and squeezes his palm. “It’s not an easy lesson,” Eve whispers. 

“Sounds like you’re speaking from experience.”

“Perhaps, it’s happened once or twice in my lifetime. But only once or twice.” 

They both know the truth. They both know that more than once Eve’s faced what she’s grown to learn as normal or familiar changes on its face. They don’t need to say it. There’s no need. They both know, so much so that when Eve does finally give Calum’s hand a squeeze and his arm a tug, he follows. Calum follows Eve out to the backyard. They settle on his porch, sharing the same flicker of the lighter for their cigarettes. 

Eve gets one inhale pressed into her lungs before she speaks. “These things will kill you, you know.”

“Something gets us eventually,” Calum returns. 

***************************

Calum’s not sure what he expects when he lifts his head. The sheet is cold under his arm. When he fell asleep, he’d wrapped around Eve’s torso, clung to her like children do to baby blankets. But now there’s nothing in the bed besides the sheets and the pillow he’d grabbed at some point in his slumber. Eve had every right to leave if she needed to. There were no promises made. She hadn’t vowed anything to Calum. But he realizes now, with the sun streaking in from the blinds, he wishes she had. 

The door creaks open and Calum turns, arms holding him up as he gets onto his back. Eve. She fills out in front of him the hem of his white t-shirt barely covering her to the tops of her thighs. It doesn’t help her the shorts she’s acquired somewhere in the time between them retiring to the guestroom from the mindless TV watching after their smoke and Calum waking also don’t cover more than a few inches of her thighs either. Calum makes out, even behind his bleary vision, something long in her hands.  Calum pushes up even further, back pressing into the pillows. Eve settles next to his knees, getting the tray table over his lap. 

“Scrambled, medium hard, right?” she asks. Not that she’d forget. She could never forget, but the question makes it better. She’s giving Calum room to grow, for things to have changed since she was last with him. 

He nods. “Yeah, yeah that’s right.” Pancakes, eggs, waffles, bacon, and hashbrowns are spread out in front of him. She always went a little overboard on food when she cooked it. It used to annoy Calum. It’s less annoying than it was a feeling that no matter how many times Calum said to Eve she didn’t have to make a feast, she wouldn’t listen. 

But now, as he has the tray more clearly in his focus, he spots two forks and two knives. Eve scoots the waffles closer to her before pushing the pancakes, bacon, and eggs towards Calum. It’s easy, Calum realizes, to assume nothing has changed. Especially since he’s been so long without Eve. His memory has them frozen in place, thirty years ago. Nothing could change for him about her, until they became a present reality. This is the evidence. Both their lives had continued since their last meeting. They’d both evolved. 

“I’d asked how you slept,” Calum jokes, picking up the mug of coffee for a sip. “But something tells me you didn’t get a wink.”

“How’d you sleep?” Eve asks. 

If Calum’s honest, it’s the best sleep he’s gotten in a year. Not that he had a reason to not be honest with Eve. But the confession feels much too deep for where they are. “Good,” Calum returns. “Really good.”

Their silence is comfortable as they take bites of food. Stolen glances, for Calum, over the rim of his glasses and for Eve, from between her lashes, lead to soft giggles into coffee and orange juice. They don’t need to say more, and yet if they really wanted to, they could. When they finish, Calum being the one to lag behind Eve, Eve collects the tray without a word. Calum follows behind her back up to the kitchen.  

“Let me wash the dishes,” Calum commands. He tries to reach out for the tray as he walks side by side Eve now out of the hallway. 

“I’ve got it,” Eve returns, pausing them just outside of the dining room. “Relax.”

“Thanks for breakfast.” Calum’s not sure why he’s not expecting Cailean’s voice to hit his eardrums. Him and his friends only really ever hung out during the evening and he was home most nights by eleven. He’d text if he was staying over or running late. As far as Calum knows, his phone is free of any of those texts. But still, the sound of his son’s voice does make Calum panic a little. His first reaction is to shield Eve, but then as the seconds pass and Eve slips out from behind Calum’s body, his brain finally processes what Cailean said. 

“You’re welcome, Cailean.”

“Oh, I cleaned up what was left of the dishes too, by the way,” he continues on, reaching for the tray in her hands. 

“Oh, I can clean these,” Eve smiles. “Thanks so much for the other dishes.”

Cailean nods, hands ducking back to his sides. “I mean, it’s the least I could do. I thought about what you said too. On the face of it, honesty is best. But Leonard and I--it’s not something I’d want to risk.”

Eve nods. “Perfectly reasonable given how long you two have been friends from what you said. Has Yvette said anything about what Māra told her?”

“I think everyone’s in the whole pretend like nothing happened and wait for things to just pass over play.”

Calum’s unsure of what transpired while he was still asleep. But he has to assume that at some point between Eve slipping out of the room and now, she and Cailean have talked. Calum was going to ask about what had transpired the day before. But now he’s unsure if he needs to. Though, part of him is glad. His kids do seem to be getting along with Eve--at least for Cailean and Kiri. Māra is a work in progress. He didn’t have to worry, too much anymore, about the fear of Eve and them being at odds. Perhaps, it is easier. All of his kids are older. Perhaps, their initial introduction though it had gone south proved useful. Eve had made it clear that she could never replace Kelsie and her goal wasn’t to somehow fill a void. No one would be able to do that. She was just Eve. 

“Sounds like you want to pretend it never happened too,” Eve returns now to Cailean. 

Calum settles at the head of the dining table, nodding over to Kiri as he settles. “Wild Friday night?” Calum teases. 

“Seems like your Friday night was wilder than anything I could’ve gotten into,” he snorts, still shoveling down a forkful of eggs. Calum lets the retort go without rebuttal. There’s nothing he can say that will prove otherwise to Kiri. Not that Calum needs to prove anything on the face of it. 

“I don’t want to start something if it’s not really a big deal,” Cailean concludes. He’s started moving the dishes that are dry into the cabinets to give Eve more space on the drying rack for what’s left. 

The shake of Eve’s head tells Calum she’s debating. There are things she probably wants to say but worries that if she does, they’ll come out wrong. “I think,” Eve starts, turning the water off after rinsing out the coffee mug, “that you know Leonard better than anyone else in here. If he’s not raising an issue, then maybe it’s not one. But it might still prove useful to clear the air with Yvette. You said you two were working on a project. She’s also important here.”

Cailean sighs, stacking the silverware back into the correct slots of the drawers. “Yeah, but that’s just awkward too, right?”

Eve shrugs. “The whole thing is awkward, Cailean. Wouldn’t you agree?”

He laughs humorlessly. “Yeah, I would agree that Māra surely knows how to make a bad situation worse.”

“Oh, Māra’s young. She’s learning where the lines are. I’m sure Kiri’s got stories of you meddling in his business.”

“Yeah two weeks ago at the 18 plus bar,” Kiri cuts in. Cailean gets the last of the knives up and flips his brother off. “I told you those girls were there together.”

“You were the one that spotted them. If you had just kept quiet, I wouldn’t have had any need to approach.”

“The point being,” Eve interjects over Kiri’s not quite fully formed utterance and Cailean’s primed rebuttal. “You, Cailean, have done similar things to your siblings. Māra’s intentions were pure, even if her actions were misplaced.”

“Talk about misplaced,” Cailean mutters. 

“Alright, Cai,” Calum interjects. He understands the annoyance, but the thing he doesn’t want is for Cailean to keep harping on the same point. Either he was actually going to accept Māra’s apology and move on to make it better for himself or he’s not. But Calum won’t stand for him being inconsistent. “She apologized. And even offered to fix the mistake.”

“You’re right, you’re right, Pops,” Cailean sighs. “Okay, I’ll talk to Yvette to let her know that she doesn’t have to worry or anything. Thanks, Eve.” 

“Anytime,” she returns. 

The scrap of Kiri’s chair causes Calum to turn his head to the sound. He collects his plate and utensils, carrying them back into the kitchen. “Thanks for breakfast, Eve.”

“You’re welcome, Kiri.” He hovers for a moment, sliding the plate onto the counter. “Your mind wouldn’t have changed even if I asked to wash my own dishes wouldn’t it?” The sigh Eve releases almost sounds like she might be really thinking about it. It would’ve been the third time one of them asked to take over the duty. But the answer comes when Eve slips his plate into the sudsy water. “Don’t think so. Maybe next time.”

“I tried,” Kiri laughs. “Pops, I’m going to be in the garage for a bit. I’m almost finished with the paint on the shelves.”

“Shelves?”

Kiri shakes his head at the question. “Have you not been in the garage the last few days? A friend wanted help building some shelves. You said we could use the garage.”

Calum works through his memory. He remembers when Kiri asked if they had power tools, which Calum does remember showing Kiri where they were. “I-,” Calum laughs. “It’s gone. But okay, thanks for the heads up.”

“Uh oh, Pops. Memory problems, don’t tell me you’re getting old,” Kiri laughs.  

“You keep living long enough you’ll be in my spot sooner than you think. Do you need a hand with anything?”

“No, don’t think so. If I do, I’ll holler.”

“Sounds good.”

Cailean continues putting the clean dishes away as he dries them, though he doesn’t need to put them all away. He does so anyway, even extending a second offer to Eve if she needs help with anything else. Much like his first, Eve politely declines as she dries her hands from the dishes. The kitchen is silent. Not even Eve’s feet make a sound as she makes her way over to the kitchen table. 

“Need me to stick around?” she asks quietly. Her nails drag just lightly through Calum’s hair, scratching ever so slightly at his scalp with the action. Last night and yesterday was a lot for both of them. She’s not sure if Calum’s in the mood for extended company or not. Eve would rather be clear on where his needs stand than assuming anything else. 

Calum reaches out, one arm slipping around her waist. He urges her around to settle onto his thigh and she goes without a fight, perching on his lap. “I need to stop by the florist and cemetery if you’d be okay with joining.”

“You do realize you are asking me to visit your late wife with you, right? Wouldn’t that be scandalous?” Eve can’t bite back the tiny smile on her lips. 

“Asking my current girlfriend, who also happens to be my ex-wife, to go with me to my dead wife's grave isn’t something I hadn’t fully thought would ever happen, so you know--scandalous or not, I’m asking. Will you join me? The boys will probably want to join too. They usually go with me. Just as a warning.”

“Is-is that why Māra’s out with friends?”

Calum nods, “We’ll see if she makes it through today. Sometimes, she can. Sometimes, she can’t.”

Māra always takes it the hardest and Calum never forces her to do anything that she’s not ready to do. Though it was only their wedding anniversary, it was a tradition that Calum and Kelsie tried to include the kids in the festivities to some extent. They always made time for themselves, but as their family expanded, asking a babysitter to care for three kids at the same time started to feel more and more like a chore and worry. It helps too that the boys were happy to watch the kids when needed. But it would be a venture for later. 

“She’ll come around, find her way through,” Eve offers. It’s mostly in an effort to console Calum. He’d raised great kids, alongside Kelsie. Eve wants him to be proud, but it’s also not her place to downplay and belittle grief. 

“She will. I still think she’s processing a lot,” Calum states. Without much thought, he drops his head into Eve’s chest, ear pressing right against her heart. The rhythm is almost normal. It beats slower than a human heart, he realizes. But he only seems to catch the slight difference because he keeps trying to time the thump he’s grown accustomed to, to Eve’s and her’s always seems to lag just slightly behind his time. 

“How did she ever find out about me?” Eve means it harmlessly, a question more to ask what is Māra truly processing besides the death of her mother. 

“I-I don’t know how she figured out what you are. She’d asked all the time why she was named after gardens. Kelsie would tell Mar, some variation that gardens being a place where pretty things grow and that Kelsie thought it would be beautiful to name her only daughter after a place where beauty grows from the inside. I don’t know. Mar’s always been curious. She loves getting to the root of something. I’d tell her that I wanted her to carry a piece of her culture with her. Perhaps it satisfied her. Maybe all it did was make her question why we both had different answers.”

“It’s reasonable to have different reasons for a name,” Eve interjects. 

“Yeah, because we’re adults. We have reasoning. And it’s also rich, because it’s us. Of course, I can’t tell her because I wanted a piece of an old lover. I can’t tell my child the real reason because what if she thinks she’s somehow different. But it seems like maybe it didn’t matter in the long run.”

“It might,” Eve returns, pushing back some of Calum’s hair to plant a kiss to his hairline. 

“I guess we never really know for sure. But, to get back to your question. About six months after Kelsie died, I finally got around to sorting through her things. The kids wanted some stuff; I kept some stuff. The whole house sort of got turned upside down and we’re digging out boxes that Kels and I haven’t touched in years, right? They want to help, so I let them and I think--I’m not certain though--I think she might’ve gotten into one of my old boxes. I packed up some old journals and photos. Some pictures of us were in the box and a journal. I kept the journal because of some of the stuff I wrote about. I didn’t want just anyone getting hands on it.”

“What kind of photos?” Eve asks. 

“Our wedding day photos,” Calum admits softly. “So I had to come clean.”

“Calum,” Eve sighs. “Of all the things to keep.”

“Oh, sue me.”

“You’re lucky it’s not a sueable offense. It’s not a giant leap,” Eve notes. “Eve, the garden. Before she started piecing things together, were you ever going to tell her?”

That’s the question. It’s not Eve asking if Calum was going to tell his children, it’s Eve asking if Calum was ever to call back for Eve. Calum knew Eve would ask it eventually. It’s a reasonable question to ask. But Calum’s terrified of the answer. He exhales, pushing his head up. Eve’s gaze is pointed directly at him. His arms are settling around her hips, fingers threading to keep her close. Eve could break the grip if she wanted. Calum shakes his head before a soft, “No,” leaves his lips. 

Eve’s not shocked at the answer, but she is a little taken aback by the firmness in Calum’s voice. “Why?”

“Because I wasn’t going to call you. If Kelsie hadn’t died when she did, I had come to terms with my decision. We were going to have those seven years. We were going to cherish them for what they were and I was going to remain loyal to Kelsie. She and I were going to have decades. And if she died when we got older, much older, I was going to see after my kids, but I wasn’t going to have anyone find you. They would’ve discovered you after I died maybe. Or when they put me up in a home, but I wasn’t going to drag you back through such pain.”

Calum exhales. His throat threatens to close and the sting spreads through his chest. The exhale allows him a moment to collect himself before continuing,  “Then she died in that accident. I wasn’t prepared to lose Kelsie so early. I didn’t know what else to do. And the only thing that felt right was reaching out to you. I couldn’t make heads or tails of much of anything in my personal life. I had enough sense to be there for my kids, because that’s my job as their dad. But to think I would spend the next thirty years without anyone. God, I couldn’t imagine it. I didn’t want to imagine that kind of life.”

Eve takes her thumb to wipe the tears that have slipped down Calum’s cheek. She doesn’t think Calum notices the tears that have slipped. Or if he has, he’s not made any movement to clear the tears.  “So you called me,” she deduces. 

“So I called you,” Calum states. 

“Because I’ll always answer.”

“It’s selfish, really. The thing I said I didn’t want to cause you I have roped you right into.”

“Sometimes you’re allowed to be selfish, Calum. But you see now why I still call it a curse. Do I love the good parts? Yes. Do I adore every second I get with you? Yes, of course. But it comes with pain. It is still a curse at the end of the day.”

Calum can only nod. The lump in his throat he’d been trying to swallow back down is too thick now. The inhale is shaky and when the words die in the space between his tongue and chest, Calum just nods. A resignation that he’d fulfilled the prophecy just as intended. Even if he wanted to let what he and Eve stay in the past, reality would never let him have that. He is a pawn in a game he could never win. 

There’s nothing for Eve to say. Sure, in a wider stance, Calum’s fate was sealed long before he was born. But even in the macrocosm, individual choices have to be made. Calum could have named Māra something else. He could’ve gotten rid of the photos earlier. He could’ve done so many things differently. Yet, he hadn’t. All of his choices that he did make after learning the truth behind Eve were still his responsibility. Though, the truth didn’t make it easier to accept. He is here now. His head cradled into Eve’s hands, pressed to her sternum. Calum is here now. This is the bed he’d have to lie in now. 

The late morning fades into the early afternoon and just as Calum thinks that maybe Māra will get through the rest of the day smoothly, his phone rings. Eve sees it first, from the couch, as the screen lights up before the ringtone sounds. When she reads Māra’s name on the screen, she picks it up and scurries down to the bathroom door. Her knock is gentle. But the rush of water from the sink cuts out and she knocks again. 

Calum peels open the door, brows furrowed together when he spots Eve at the door. “There’s like five bathrooms--”

“It’s Māra,” Eve returns, answering the call before it goes to voicemail and holds it up to Calum’s ear. 

“Dad?”

Calum takes the phone out of Eve’s hand, still keeping it up to his ear. “Yeah, sweetpea. It’s me. What’s up? Boy trouble?” He wishes it’s just boy trouble. Calum guesses it’s probably not. But he can still hold out hope.

Māra’s laughter is soft. “No, not boy trouble. Yet,” she adds after a pause. 

“Gonna give your old man a heart attack, don’t say that.”

“Dad, it’s okay to still miss her, right? It’s okay to still ache, right?”

Calum inhales at the crack in Māra’s voice. His eyes blur for a moment with threatening tears, but they don’t fall. “Yeah, Mar, it’s okay to still miss your mother. It’s okay to still ache. Do you want me to come get you?”

“No, no, I just--Jasmine and her mom. Sometimes it just hurts. That’s all. You can’t fix it. I can’t fix it. It just hurts.”

“Sometimes it does,” Calum agrees. “And it’s okay that it does hurt.”

A shaky exhale crackles through the receiver. “She’d understand. That I still want to hang out with my friends. I still--I still have life.”

“She would. If between the two of us, only one would understand that it would be your mom. Kels always understood that. You sure you don’t want me to get you?”

“Yeah, Dad, I’m sure. Could-Could I visit her tomorrow? I know you’re probably going today.”

“Of course, sweetpea. Tomorrow’s fine.”

Another sniffle cracks through the line. “Can you just stay on the line with me? Tell me what’s happening over there?”

“Yeah, of course. It’s sort of boring over here,” Calum starts, pushing away from the bathroom door. He debates for a moment if he should mention Eve and then decides against it. It’s not lying. But there’s no reason for Calum to mention her specifically. Instead Calum chats about how the house is shockingly quiet between Kiri’s work on the shelves and Cailean upstairs. Calum’s sure to take it slow as he talks, knowing that the longer he takes, the more time Māra has to calm herself down. 

The call only goes for another few minutes before Māra feels calm enough to get off the phone. Calum lets her go when she says she’s ready, but he clutches the phone between his hands for a moment. The corner of the device presses into his forehead as he drops his gaze to the floor. The couch shifts next to him. It’s a soft touch, right on his knee. But Calum’s never been more relieved to have someone at his side than in this moment. None of this is easy. Raising kids, dealing with death--not a single one of those are easy. But Calum’s sorely reminded just how much having someone else helps. Even if Eve can’t fix everything, her presence is still a comfort. 

Calum’s grateful for the presence even when Eve sits in the backseat of the car. Kiri sits up front, Cailean behind the passenger seat and Eve behind Calum. Calum’s grateful for Eve when she watches them pick up the bouquet--peace lilies, violets, white roses, white daisies, and blue irises. Calum’s grateful. It is as plain and simple as that. And he’s even more grateful when he takes the step back from Kelsie’s headstone and Eve’s right there in the corner of his eye. The boys are mostly quiet, soft ‘I love you’s falling from their lips. 

Eve doesn’t dare encroach. She keeps her distance, hands behind her back. But she’s there--all the same. That’s all that matters. She’s here because Calum asked her to be here. She’d always be there if Calum asked. 

“Were you there?” Kiri turns, spotting Eve behind them. She stands, arms behind her back at attention. “When Mom died, were you there?”

“No,” Eve returns. Her tone is even without being condescending. It’s a fact. Eve was not there when Kelsie died. She hardly ever is for anyone’s death—save for the escapades Death drags her on. 

“Did you know about us? Before Dad mentioned us?”

“In a way, yes.” The confusion is clear and Eve continues on, “Your mother called for me. Most dead people don’t get many requests. There’s no one phone call rule in Heaven. You’ll be happy to know your mother was decidedly going to Heaven. I didn’t know she’d died until after it happened. She was on her way to the otherside when she asked for me. By name. And I answer the calls when they come. It’s my job. ”

“Mom asked for you?” Cailean questions, turning now to Eve. 

“Your mother asked for me.”

“What-what did she say?” Kiri takes a step forward. “What did she want?”

In all the time Eve had spent with Kiri he’d always been level headed. He had a no-nonsense air to him. While Eve wouldn’t call it a blase attitude, she would say that Kiri was cautious. But his face opens now in desperation and Eve sees the child he probably was. Trusting and wide eyed--Kiri probably took everything in with open arms and palm, letting razors cut if they fell and being kissed with giddy rain. He knew the world could and would hurt him, but he let it do so anyway. Much like was happening now. Eve’s answers—if she gives them fully—will only serve to cut Kiri’s faith just a little bit more. And yet, he is asking for it. 

“She wanted her children safe.” It’s easy enough to round down the sentiments because truth be told, it was more complicated than that. The promise Eve can keep is that she won’t make it harder for them. 

“Did she ask you to take care of us?” Kiri probes. 

Eve shakes her head. “No. I would do a poor job at that. You don’t make promises to dead people you can’t keep.”

“Then what! What did she say, Eve?” The emotion catches in Kiri’s throat, and where his voice has grown in volume, it dies off in a choke on his pleas. “Please, what did she say?”

“Tell me, Kiri. Do you think knowing this will change anything about the way your mother lived, or loved? Is this knowledge going to give you peace?”

“I-I want it to,” Kiri confesses. He stands a head taller than Eve, but he’s never looked smaller. 

“Can I let you in on a secret?” Eve captures his hands, bringing him a step closer to her body. There’s still a foot or so between them. But Kiri’s body hunches in and his shoulders shake. He nods to Eve’s question nevertheless. “Her dying thoughts were of you, and Cailean, and Māra, and Calum. She only wanted you all taken care of. I would be a poor substitute and messenger to her legacy and wishes. She loves you, Kiri. Isn’t that wonderful?”

“You keep doing that. Using present tense. She’s dead.”

Eve’s smile is tiny. She squeezes at Kiri’s hands to get him to look at her. When she does, she tilts her head just a little. “What do you think she asked me to do?”

“Fuck,” Kiri laughs--wet and thick with tears, but it’s still a laugh. His mother would never want him for a second to think just because she was dead that it would stop her hopes and dreams. Just because his mother is dead does not mean that her love ceased too. “Of course. Of course she did.” 

Eve knows that later Calum will ask her what really happened. He too will be curious. Eve’s grateful, though, that in the moment as they spend just a few more minutes at the grave that Calum keeps whatever questions he has swallowed down. The question burns. Eve can see it right behind Calum’s gaze when he looks back in the rearview mirror. With a brief locked gaze, Eve can only hope she’s conveyed to Calum to wait. They return to Calum’s house and the boys immediately head for the stairs. But Calum and Eve both linger not quite at the front door but they have not pushed deeper into the house. 

When Calum is sure the doors upstairs have been closed, he spins. “You never mentioned Kelsie talking to you before,” he hisses. His volume is low but the anger is clear. He’s not sure if it’s fear or sadness that’s winning out more on the emotion. But something hurts in his chest. Why would Eve not mention that to Calum of all people?

“She knew about me,” Eve returns. “She asked for me by name and told me that she wants her children cared for. She wants you cared for because she knows if you have me you can be there for your children. But she knew about me though. You can be pissed at me. But tell me: how did she know?”

“I didn’t hide you,” Calum returns. “I never hid what we had.”

“Are you accusing me of hiding something?”

“Why didn’t you mention it before?” Calum knows better than to answer that outright. Eve had her reasons for keeping their conversation quiet. But it still hurts. All Calum had imagined for a year now was what Kelsie’s last thoughts were. Calum had wished for a moment there that it had been him instead of Kelsie. He had started to offer to the store instead of Kelsie, but her job was closer than his. He’d have to cross the entire city just to get there whereas Kelsie was only a few minutes out. 

“I only wanted to come into your life when you were ready. Besides, you’re not a hard man to keep tabs on when necessary. There was no reason to come to your door before you were ready.”

“She was my wife! You think I didn’t imagine night after night what she was thinking. I would do anything to change places with her. Eve, I buried her. My kids, the kids I had with her, watched their mother lowered into fucking dirt. Why didn’t you tell me she asked for you? Why?”

“I-” Eve blinks, watching the furrow between Calum’s brow. This is not the reaction she anticipated. But truly on the face of things, it could have gone a number of ways. “I’m sorry, Calum.” 

“Why was she thinking of me?” His voice cracks on the question and Eve watches the first tear bubble in his lash line. “Why would she be focused on me when our kids need her?”

“Because she loves you,” Eve returns. That is a fact. Eve knew that. 

“He’s always loved you, you know,” Kelsie says. Her eyes hurt from the light in front of her. But Eve’s body blocks some of it and it hurts a little less to take in the other woman’s appearance. Dark clothes and hair, though the ends look recently dyed a warm ginger. She’s never been super insecure, but standing in front of Eve, Kelsie feels a little out of place. How had Calum loved both of them? Eve exudes a confidence that Kelsie feels like she could never reach. 

“He’ll always love you,” Eve returns. She doesn’t say what she’s really thinking: that Calum’s bond to her is forged in youth, lust, and design. Not that it is any less real. It is real, and it would always be different. 

“Just--can you promise me something?” Kelsie asks. She’s unsure if she should ask. It was more than enough that when Kelsie asked for Eve that she actually showed up. When Calum talked of Eve, what she was, and their time together, Kelsie thought the claims of her being the Devil incarnate were just something to say for the effect. Eve wasn’t actually the Devil, but to Calum she was. 

However, Kelsie had asked, upon spotting God and Death at her side, if she were dead. When they confirmed she was, when they confirmed she was going to the other side, Kelsie asked if she’d run into Eve. They were adamant Kelsie wouldn’t. And then it happened: I want to talk to Eve. Now, Kelsie is here. She’d asked for it. Wouldn’t it be stupid not to ask after all this?

“What is it? I won’t promise if I don’t know what I’m getting into,” Eve answers. “It’s not anything to do with you,” Eve tacks on. “Hazards of the job, and all.”

“I love him, I love Calum so much. And I always knew even before he told me. But I always knew someone had come before me. His first true love and it never ends well. But I love him. Do you think--oh, I don’t think I should be asking anymore.”

“Ask me,” Eve commands. It’s gentle, her hands take in Kelsie’s. 

How could the touch feel so real even though she’s dead? Kelsie wonders. When her gaze lifts to Eve’s, the purple swirling with a bit of gold and the pupil tin the shape of snake’s, Kelsie can’t help but feel sucked in. Kelsie has to answer.  She must. “Take care of him. Calum’s got to be there for the kids. He’s all they have left now. But he’s going to lose it for a while there. He’ll need to grieve, of course. But please--go back to him. When the time is right or when you can. Just please go back to him. He still loves you.” The two women can only stare at each other. A silent exchange of recognition and Eve nods. “And please, don’t let my kids forget that I love them. Present tense. I always will.”

Another few seconds drop between them--silent again. Eve gives another nod before she speaks. “I promise.”

It’s Calum’s voice that brings Eve back to the present around her. It’s his trembling voice that makes Eve’s chest ache. “You-you’re just saying that,” Calum retorts. “You’re--you don’t mean it.”

“She told me.”

Three words, but they make Calum shake his head. He spins from her, walking over to the dining table. Calum had told Kelsie. He told her about Eve a year and a half into their relationship. It was eating him alive not to. But there’s no way Kelsie would ask for Eve. There was no way her last thoughts were of him. Eve stays near the door, watching Calum pace. He peers up at her every few seconds, to confirm she’s still there. Eve never moves though. She’s always in the same spot when Calum looks up. 

“Show me,” Calum finally returns. Eve could take him in his sleep to the memory. It would prove to him that it was real. 

“Tonight?” Eve questions. 

Calum nods. “Tonight.”

“You’re sure you’ll be able to fall asleep?”

“I’m sure.”

“I’ll get you tonight then. Would you like me to leave in the meantime?”

Calum’s not sure what he wants.  But he doesn’t like that Eve would just leave. Sure he’s angry--it’s the fear talking mostly, but that doesn’t mean he wants Eve to go. Unless she wants to go. “You’ll come back, though, right? Before we meet in the dream, you’ll come back here for the night?”

“I don’t have to go. I-should we call a timeout?”

Calum exhales. No one’s asked him for a time out in decades. Kelsie and he almost always managed not to ruffle too many feathers. Sure they had their disagreements. Sure a couple got ugly. But they never needed the phrase. They had a look. Kelsie would always look up with a heavy exhale, chin wobbling. It was always her tell that things were getting too heated. Calum nods, at Eve’s question. “There's, uh, there’s no garden though. Just the backyard.”

“I’m sure you still have a music office,” Eve grins. 

He gives an exhaled tuft of laughter. “Yeah. There’s, well, there’s Kelsie’s craft room next door too. But you’ve-you’ve always enjoyed the outdoors.”

Eve nods towards the back of the house. “I’ll be outside, okay? When you’re ready.”

“Okay.” It’s all he needs to say before Eve moves from near the front door to the back. The door is soft as it shuts and Calum watches from the start of the hallways as Eve perches on one of the lounge chairs. She just sits for a second, right on the edge before pushing back into the incline. 

It shouldn’t shock Calum. When he cracks open the back door, and Eve’s hardly moved from the spot she settled in, he shouldn’t be shocked. But part of him wondered if she’d run off. His answer stares back at him when she opens one eye. 

“You hungry?” Calum asks. He holds out the plate, a soup bowl on it with salad and some breadsticks too. The plate is quite crowded, but Calum was more focused on finishing the dinner than with how it looked on the plate. 

Eve takes it from his hands. “Thank you.”

“Care for company?”

“I’d like yours,” Eve smiles. “But I know you’re a stickler about having dinner with the kids.”

“I ate with them already. I hope you don’t mind.”

Eve shakes her head, lifting the bowl from the plate in her lap. “I don’t.”

Calum settles at the feet of her chair and Eve folds her legs up under herself. “I’m sorry for raising my voice earlier,” he starts. The spoon is a soft clink in the bow as Eve feeds herself one spoonful. He knows she doesn’t need the food, but he’s grateful that she takes the olive branch. 

“I’m sorry for not telling you sooner. I wasn’t sure if I should, if I’m honest.”

Calum reaches out, hand falling to her knee. He brushes his thumb over the denim covered joint. “If I were in your shoes, I probably wouldn’t have been sure either.” A bit of a breeze creeps in through the bushes and Calum takes in only the thin t-shirt covering Eve’s body. “Are you col-” he pauses at the question. “Probably not.”

“Are you cold?”

Calum shakes his head. “I’ll be okay until you finish.”

“Should I still show you?”

He’d debated this as he stood over the simmering pot. He knew he shouldn’t. Eve wouldn’t have a reason to lie over something like this. But he couldn’t shake the thought that he could get to see Kelsie one more time. Perhaps if he could see her not dead, if he could see her not patched up from the cuts and scrapes, he could let her go. That’s the hard part. The last moments he has of Kelsie is her after the thing that took her life. He was always seeing her, behind his eyes, in the after accident state. Maybe he could let her go once he realized that it was just her physical body. Kelsie’s spirit would still be intact. She’d always be the woman he married, caring to a fault and tender. 

“Please,” he sighs. 

Eve nods, stretching to place her plate and bowl on the table next to her. She settles back into the incline, arms opening up. “C’mon, she’s waiting,” Eve states. She hopes this doesn’t set Calum back. But she’s not in the business of second guessing Calum anymore. If he said he wanted it then he’d have to accept the consequences alongside it. 

 Calum doesn’t waste another second before crawling up between her legs and presses his back into her chest. Eve holds him tight, both arms squeezing around him. Sleep will take a minute, maybe two. But when it does come, so will Kelsie. 

I love him, I love Calum so much. And I always knew even before he told me. But I always knew someone had come before me. His first true love and it never ends well. But I love him. 

Present tense.

#calum hood #calum hood fanfic #calum hood fic #calum hood imagine #calum hood series #calum hood blurb #calum hood x black!oc #h writes #5 seconds of summer #5 seconds of summer fanfic #5 seconds of summer fic #5 seconds of summer imagine #5sos blurb #5sos #5sos imagine #5sos fic #5sos fanfic #calum 5sos #michael clifford #ashton irwin #luke hemmings

[banner123]

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[timerevolt]

what about me? 🥹

SEND A URL FOR POSITIVITY ! | accepting

Eve you are absolutely amaze! I know we just started talking more recently, and you are bomb as hell. I love talking to you, even about silly little stuff. The thought you put into your ocs is so evident. Your graphics stunning. Thank you so much for making an oc in the world I created. I can't wait for Death and Time shenanigans!

#i'mma ghost | ooc post.

[platinumsonsews]

Halloween Quilt Fabric - Top Trending Halloween Quilt Patterns

Get ready for a spooky season! The much-awaited time has arrived when the weather turns colder, nights grow darker, and you can finally explore the enchanting realm of Halloween quilt fabric patterns. Among the trending favorites are dedicated Halloween projects, while others showcased in their Halloween iteration can be adapted with different colors and fabrics to suit any quilt style. Like donning a costume transforms you into someone else on Halloween, these quilts sport their Halloween attire in the pictures. While they look amazing as they are, they hold countless possibilities beyond what the photos reveal.

What Are The Most Trending Halloween Quilt Patterns?

Halloween is the eve that everyone waits for the whole year. Many individuals wear halloween costumes and put on similar makeup, though. Some Halloween quilt patterns are trending that you must be familiar with. So start exploring them.

1. Spooky Spider Door Hanger

To kick off the Halloween festivities, let's warmly welcome it with the stylish Spooky Spider Door Hanger designed by Charisma Horton. This pattern beautifully blends spookiness and flair, making it the perfect Halloween decor piece and halloween quilt fabric that you'll proudly display year after year. The construction techniques involved in this project are clever and delightful, resulting in a fantastic finished quilt. Party-goers and trick-or-treaters will be greeted with a playful "BOO!"

2. Tricky Checkers

Now, let's move on to Tricky Checkers, a delightful and vibrant creation by Jo Kramer and Kelli Hanken. This remarkable design makes it an ideal choice for a Halloween quilt panel. However, with a simple change in the color scheme, it can easily transform into a stunning quilt suitable for any time of the year. If you enjoy saving fabric scraps, this pattern is a must-try, as it provides a fantastic opportunity to utilize those scraps in a simple and enjoyable sewing project.

3. Trick & Treat

The next pattern known for its unique textural element is the inclusion of chenille yarn embellishments on the blocks and coordinating pillow. This unconventional touch enhances the simple graphic design in a captivating way. Trick & Treat, designed by Nanette Holmberg, is a versatile quilt pattern that can transcend Halloween, although it excels as a Halloween quilt in Jack o lantern lane. While Nanette opted for a delightful Halloween-themed fabric collection, this easy, modern-style quilt pattern can be adapted to suit any fabric choice.

Get The Trending Halloween Quilt Pattern!

Halloween is a fun festival that everybody celebrates. Also, little ones and also adults wear halloween attire and makeup. To make halloween more interesting, use halloween quilts fabric. And you can buy quilting fabric from a one-stop shop, Platinum So n Sews. They sell some varieties of quilt fabric and also other fabric varieties.

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[specslog]

Apple iPad Pro 2022

Launch

Released

2022, October 26

Status

Available

Network

2G bands

GSM 850 / 900 / 1800 / 1900

CDMA 800 / 1900

3G bands

HSDPA 850 / 900 / 1700(AWS) / 1900 / 2100

CDMA2000 1xEV-DO

4G bands

1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 7, 8, 11, 12, 13, 14, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 25, 26, 28, 29, 30, 32, 34, 38, 39, 40, 41, 42, 46, 48, 66, 71

5G band

1, 2, 3, 5, 7, 8, 12, 14, 20, 25, 26, 28, 29, 30, 38, 40, 41, 48, 66, 70, 71, 77, 78, 79, 258, 260, 261 SA/NSA/Sub6/mmWave

SA/NSA/Sub6

Speed

HSPA 42.2/5.76 Mbps, LTE-A, EV-DO Rev.A 3.1 Mbps, 5G

Body

Dimensions

280.6 x 214.9 x 6.4 mm (11.05 x 8.46 x 0.25 in)

Weight

682 g (Wi-Fi), 685 g (5G) (1.50 Ib)

Build

Glass front, aluminum back, aluminum frame

SIM

Nano-SIM, eSIM

Display

Display Type

Liquid Retina XDR mini-LED LCD capacitive touchscreen, 16M colors

Size

12.9 inches, 515.3 cm2 (~85.4% screen-to-body ratio)

Resolution

2048 x 2732 pixels, 4:3 ratio (~265 ppi density)

Features

120Hz, HDR10, Dolby Vision, 1000 nits (typ), 1600 nits (peak)

Display Protection

Scratch-resistant glass, oleophobic coating

Memory

RAM

8/16 GB

Card Slot

No

Internal Storage

128/256/512 GB / 1/2TB

Platform

OS

ipadOS 16.1

Chipset

Apple M2

CPU

Octa-core

GPU

Apple GPU (10-core graphics)

Main Camera

Dual

12 MP, f/1.8, (wide), 1/3&quot;, 1.22µm, dual pixel PDAF

10 MP, f/2.4, 125˚ (ultrawide)

TOF 3D LiDAR scanner (depth)

Video

4K@24/25/30/60fps, 1080p@25/30/60/120/240fps; gyro-EIS, ProRes, Cinematic mode (4K, 1080p)

Features

Quad-LED dual-tone flash, HDR

Front Camera

Single

12 MP, f/2.4, 122˚ (ultrawide)

Features

Face detection, HDR, panorama

Video

1080p@25/30/60fps, gyro-EIS, HDR

Battery

Capacity

Non-removable Li-Po 10758mAh

Charging

Fast charging 18W

connectivity

WLAN

Wi-Fi 802.11 a/b/g/n/ac/6e, dual-band, hotspot

Bluetooth

5.3, A2DP, LE, EDR

GPS

Yes, with A-GPS, GLONASS, GALILEO, QZSS (Wi‑Fi + Cellular model only)

NFC

No

FM Radio

No

Infrared

No

USB

USB Type-C 4 (Thunderbolt 4), DisplayPort, magnetic connector

Sound

Loudspeaker

Yes, with stereo speakers (4 speakers)

3.5mm jack

No

Sensors

Sensors

Face ID, accelerometer, gyro, barometer

Apple iPad Pro 2022 spotlight

Unleashing Boundless Creativity: The Apple iPad Pro 2022

Introduction:

The Apple iPad Pro has long been the gold standard for tablet devices, offering a perfect blend of power, versatility, and innovation. With each iteration, Apple has consistently pushed the boundaries of what a tablet can achieve. In 2022, Apple took this tradition to new heights with the release of the iPad Pro 2022, an exceptional device that caters to the needs of professionals, artists, and tech enthusiasts alike. In this article, we delve into the remarkable features and advancements that make the iPad Pro 2022 a true game-changer.

Unmatched Performance:

At the heart of the iPad Pro 2022 lies the groundbreaking M1 chip, the same powerful processor found in Apple's Mac computers. This transition to Apple Silicon sets a new benchmark for tablet performance. The M1 chip delivers impressive processing power, incredible graphics performance, and enhanced energy efficiency, making the iPad Pro 2022 the fastest and most capable iPad to date. Whether you're editing high-resolution videos, running demanding applications, or multitasking seamlessly, the iPad Pro 2022 effortlessly handles it all.

Stunning Display:

The iPad Pro 2022 features a gorgeous Liquid Retina XDR display that elevates visual experiences to unprecedented levels. With mini-LED technology, this display boasts a remarkable brightness of up to 1600 nits, resulting in vibrant colors, deep blacks, and exceptional contrast. The 12.9-inch model also supports ProMotion, offering a stunning 120Hz refresh rate for ultra-smooth scrolling, responsiveness, and fluid animations. Whether you're creating digital art, watching HDR content, or engaging in intensive gaming, the iPad Pro 2022's display guarantees an immersive and true-to-life experience.

Revolutionary Connectivity:

The iPad Pro 2022 embraces the future of connectivity with 5G capability, enabling lightning-fast download and upload speeds on the go. Whether you're streaming high-quality videos, participating in video conferences, or collaborating on cloud-based projects, the iPad Pro 2022 ensures a seamless and uninterrupted experience. Additionally, the Thunderbolt 4 port brings desktop-class connectivity to the iPad Pro, allowing for high-speed data transfers, external display support, and expanded peripheral capabilities. This enhanced connectivity empowers professionals to work efficiently and effortlessly, regardless of their location.

Enhanced Apple Pencil Integration:

Apple Pencil has been a game-changer for artists and designers, and the iPad Pro 2022 takes this experience to new heights. The enhanced Apple Pencil integration introduces the Liquid Retina XDR display's ProMotion technology to the stylus, resulting in an incredibly responsive and natural drawing experience. With its reduced latency and improved precision, the Apple Pencil on the iPad Pro 2022 allows for intricate detail work and offers an unparalleled level of control. Combined with powerful creative apps and stunning displays, artists can unlock their full creative potential.

Positive Statements:

Impressive Performance: The iPad Pro 2022 is equipped with Apple's latest A15 Bionic chip, offering blazing-fast performance. Whether you're multitasking, editing videos, or playing graphically-intensive games, the iPad Pro 2022 can handle it all with ease.

Stunning Display: The iPad Pro 2022 boasts a Liquid Retina XDR display with ProMotion technology, providing vibrant colors, excellent contrast, and a smooth 120Hz refresh rate. It offers an immersive visual experience, making it ideal for creative professionals and media consumption.

Enhanced Camera System: Apple has significantly improved the camera system on the iPad Pro 2022. With a 12MP Ultra-Wide front camera and a 12MP Wide rear camera with LiDAR scanner, users can capture high-quality photos and videos. The camera setup is particularly useful for content creators and augmented reality applications.

5G Connectivity: The iPad Pro 2022 supports 5G connectivity, enabling faster internet speeds and improved download and upload speeds. This is especially beneficial for users who rely on cloud services, video streaming, and online collaboration tools.

Thunderbolt 4 and USB 4 Support: The inclusion of Thunderbolt 4 and USB 4 ports in the iPad Pro 2022 expands its connectivity options. Users can connect external displays, high-speed storage devices, and a wide range of peripherals, enhancing productivity and versatility.

Negative Statements:

High Price: The iPad Pro 2022 comes with a premium price tag, making it one of the most expensive tablets on the market. The high cost may deter some potential buyers who are looking for a more budget-friendly option.

Limited Software Optimization: While the iPad Pro 2022 runs on the powerful iPadOS, some users might find a lack of software optimization for certain professional applications. This can restrict the full utilization of the device's hardware capabilities.

Keyboard and Pencil Sold Separately: The Smart Keyboard Folio and Apple Pencil, which are essential accessories for a complete iPad Pro experience, are sold separately. This adds additional cost to the overall package, making it less accessible for some users.

Limited File Management: Despite recent improvements, the iPad Pro 2022's file management capabilities still lag behind those of traditional laptops. Moving and organizing files can be a cumbersome process, particularly for power users who work with large amounts of data.

Battery Life: While the iPad Pro 2022 offers decent battery life, it may not be as long-lasting as some other tablets on the market. Heavy usage, such as gaming or video editing, can drain the battery relatively quickly, requiring frequent recharges.

Conclusion:

The Apple iPad Pro 2022 brings a host of impressive features and enhancements that cater to creative professionals, power users, and those seeking a premium tablet experience. Its powerful performance, stunning display, and advanced camera system make it a top contender in the tablet market. However, the high price, limited software optimization, and the need to purchase accessories separately may be drawbacks for some potential buyers. Overall, the iPad Pro 2022 is a remarkable device that offers a compelling combination of power and versatility, but it's important for users to consider their specific needs and budget before making a purchase decision.

#specsbd

[fantomcomics]

What’s Out This Week? 3/15

Spring is just days away, so grab some new reads when you go to stock up on allergy meds!

Ancient Enemies: The Djinni #1 -  Kevin VanHook, Dan DiDio, José Luis, Jonas Trindade Danilo Beyruth, & Joe Prado

Spinning out from the pages of ANCIENT ENEMIES, we spotlight THE DJINNI, a mysterious half-human / half-alien creature born from the wreckage of a crashed spaceship. This book reveals his secret origin as he struggles with his alien birthright and his mission to kill an opponent he never met. 

Bea Wolf GN -  Zach Weinersmith & Boulet

A modern middle-grade graphic novel retelling of Beowulf, featuring a gang of badly behaved kids who must defend their tree house from a fun-hating adult who can turn children into grown-ups instantly. Listen! Hear a tale of mallow-munchers and warriors who answer candy's clarion call! Somewhere in a generic suburb stands Treeheart, a kid-forged sanctuary where generations of tireless tykes have spent their youths making merry, spilling soda, and staving off the shadow of adulthood. One day, these brave warriors find their fun cut short by their nefarious neighbor Grindle, who can no longer tolerate the sounds of mirth seeping into his joyless adult life. As the guardian of gloom lays siege to Treeheart, scores of kids suddenly find themselves transformed into pimply teenagers and sullen adults! The survivors of the onslaught cry out for a savior-a warrior whose will is unbreakable and whose appetite for mischief is unbounded. They call for Bea Wolf.

Cauldron Of Horror #1 -   Mark G. Heike Dave Matsuoka & Stephanie Heike

All original weird horror anthology from AC featuring a trio of stories: A winged demon pursues a victim across wind-swept moors in "One Of These Days"; a mysterious idol transforms a lady archeologist in "Statue Got Me High"; and new fatherhood overwhelms in "Baby Boomer." All three stories are written by Mark Heike; "'Statue" and "'Boomer" are illustrated by him as well. "One of These Days" is penciled By Dave Matsuoka and inked by Heike.

Be My Love My Lord GN -  Adumi Nagano

This is a world where humans keep beasts and beasts obey humans. When Reiji, the neglected second-born son of a wealthy family, is gifted a beastman caretaker, he never imagines that the serious and loyal Tsubaki would become his closest friend and confidant. Knowing that his growing desires for his companion is forbidden, Reiji resolves to never give voice to his secret yearning... until the day he comes across Tsubaki suffering and overwhelmed from his heat and the two of them spend a night together that changes everything.What does Tsubaki mean when he says that he and Reiji are now mated...? And can Reiji really claim to love someone so beholden to him, and can the two of them find their way in a society that rejects their relationship?

Dark Ride TP Vol 1 -  Joshua Williamson, Andrei Bressan & Adriano Lucas

 WELCOME TO THE SCARIEST PLACE ON EARTH!   Devil Land has been the world's premiere horror-themed amusement park for over 50 years, home to the scariest ride ever created-The Devil's Due.   But behind it lies a deadly truth about reclusive founder Arthur Dante and the choices he made to ensure his success. Now his children Sam and Halloween will discover the true horror behind their family legacy-and that all their dreams may be founded on the stuff of nightmares...

Dear Body TP -  Lea Bordier, Carole Maurel & Eve Gentilhomme

12 women and non binary people describe their relationship with their bodies in their own words. Illustrated by 12 brilliant artists. A stunning and creative graphic novel about body positivity. Our Bodies. Our Rules. Our Stories.   For years, Lea Bordier has interviewed over 70 women and non-binary people from all walks of life about themselves and their bodies on her YouTube channel. With the help of 12 female and non-binary cartoonists, Lea has adapted hundreds of hours of interviews into a graphic novel packed with 12 powerful and emotional stories. This is a journey into the lives of twelve women and non-binary people and their relationship with their bodies, in their own words.   Dear Body is an important and visually stunning graphic novel about body positivity.

The Dragon’s Betrothed GN -  Meguru Hinohara 

A country sojourn turns into a forced marriage to a dragon god for troubled writer Chiharu! Troubled writer Chiharu Izunome reluctantly returns to his rural hometown, hoping some R & R will refresh his creative juices. Instead of finding respite, he's quickly entangled by an old promise to wed a local god! Rin, the water dragon god to whom Chiharu has been betrothed, can be disarmingly friendly and charming, but inside lurks an animalistic ferocity. Can Chiharu escape Rin's protective embrace, or is his fate already written?

Evita: The Life & Work Of Eva Peron GN -  Alberto Breccia

In a sequel to their spellbinding, experimental biography of Che Guevara, Hector Germán Oesterheld and the Breccias chronicle the eventful life of Eva Perón. Published in 1970, Evita: The Life and Work of Eva Perón was daringly intended to be the follow-up to the artists' successful and controversial 1969 graphic biography Life of Che. Hector Germán Oesterheld plotted the book and the father and son team of Alberto and Enrique Breccia drew the comic - but the text was "sanitized" before its publication. In 2001, a restored version of Evita featuring Oesterheld's original, uncensored script wasfinally published in Spanish; it is translated in English here for the first time. In just 72 boldly penned chiaroscuro pages, this graphic biography paints a complex portrait of a pivotal Argentine figure who was at once beloved and reviled by her people. 

Born in rural Argentina to extreme poverty, she moved to Buenos Aires where she met and married Colonel Perón, who would become president of Argentina. As First Lady, affectionately nicknamed Evita, she devoted herself to social welfare and worker's rights, campaigned for women's suffrage, and became known as "The Spiritual Leader of the Nation." While she has been viewed as an international icon, inspiring celebratory works such as Andrew Lloyd Webber's 1976Broadway Evita, this biography by her countrymen takes a far more searing and critical approach, chronicling the noble causes she fought for as well as the militarism and oppression of the Perónist regime.

Flavor Girls HC -  Loic Locatelli-Kournwsky

Naoko, Camille, and V are the FLAVOR GIRLS, Sacred Fruit Guardians of Earth! They defend the earth from the threat of ever-looming Agarthians, whose motives regarding earth and humanity are still unknown. Sara, a young woman studying to become an international peacekeeper, finds herself in over her head when she's thrown into this crisis in a way she never could have imagined! As the Flavor Girls hone their sacred fruit powers with their master Himiko, can their newest member help them save the planet from impending destruction?

The Forged #1 -  Greg Rucka, Eric Trautmann & Mike Henderson

In the 11th Millennium of the rule of the Eternal Empress, a squad of planet-smashing super soldiers find their routine mission to be anything but. These are the Forged. They take no prisoners. Written by GREG RUCKA & ERIC TRAUTMANN and brought to the page by MIKE HENDERSON, embark upon an over-the-top pulp adventure of sex, violence, and sci-fi inspired by Conan, Heavy Metal, and other comics you tried to hide from your parents.

Golden Sparkle GN -  Minta Suzumaru

A coming-of-age story about two high school guys figuring out love in each other's arms. Himaru Uehara's first year of high school is off to a good start, minus one problem-he keeps having wet dreams. With only his mom and sister at home-and having skipped health class in middle school-he thinks it means there's something wrong with him. Thankfully, a new friend has just the remedy and teaches Himaru exactly how to deal with those pesky dreams! But his solution only leads to more confusion, and the two find themselves navigating feelings they've never felt before.

The Green Girls GN -  Loic Nicoloff & Alberto Zanon 

Emma, Lily, and Fadila want to save the planet... but no one around them seems to care. Frustrated, they name themselves the Green Girls, take to social media, and launch a series of bold protests. Alongside their classmate and aspiring Green Girl Silas, the crew risks getting in trouble (and stirs some up) to raise awareness about container ship pollution, palm oil overproduction, and more environmental hazards. With a mix of livestreams, spray paint, and bungee cords, they're out to make a difference-and get their followers to do the same.

Hidden Systems GN -  Dan Nott

This nonfiction science graphic novel takes readers on a journey from how the most essential systems were developed to how they are implemented in our world today and how they will be used in the future. What was the first message sent over the internet? How much water does a single person use every day? How was the electric light invented? For every utility we use each day, there's a hidden history, a story of intrigue, drama, humor, and inequity. This graphic novel provides a guided tour through the science of the past and reveals how the decisions people made while inventing and constructing early technology still affect the way people use it today.

Hoops GN -  Matthew Tavares

A work of fiction inspired by a true story, Matt Tavares's debut graphic novel dramatizes the historic struggle for gender equality in high school sports. It is 1975 in Indiana, and the Wilkins Regional High School girls' basketball team is in their rookie season. Despite being undefeated, they practice at night in the elementary school and play to empty bleachers. Unlike the boys' team, the Lady Bears have no buses to deliver them to away games and no uniforms, much less a laundry service. They make their own uniforms out of T-shirts and electrical tape. And with help from a committed female coach, they push through to improbable victory after improbable victory. Illustrated in full color, this story about the ongoing battle of women striving for equality in sports rings with honesty, bravery, and heart.

House On Fire TP -  Matt Battaglia

Is she sick, or is it the world itself? House on Fire, the debut graphic novel by writer/artist Matt Battaglia, teases out the difference in a personal-political cruise through a fallen world, where fear is rational and obedience your only refuge. Battaglia depicts the near-future landscape of House on Fire with wild two-color brushwork reminiscent of the great Paul Pope, and a minimalist writing style that evokes and questions rather than lectures.

Kitaro: Japan’s Classic Manga Collection GN -  Shigeru Mizuki

Kitaro seems just like any other boy. Of course, he isn't-what with his one eye and jet-powered geta sandals, and the fact that he can shape-shift like a chameleon. It's all a part of being a 350-year-old yokai, a Japanese spirit monster. Against a backdrop of photorealistic landscapes, Kitaro and his otherworldly cartoon friends plunge into the depths of the Pacific Ocean and forge the oft-unseen wilds of Japan's countryside. The twelve stories in this special collection include more works published in the golden age of GeGeGe no Kitaro between 1967 and 1969.

Link & Hud: Heroes By A Hair GN -  Jarrett Pumphrey & Jerome Pumphrey

Lincoln and Hudson Dupré are brothers with what grown-ups call "active imaginations." Link and Hud hunt for yetis in the Himalayas and battle orcs on epic quests. Unfortunately, their imaginary adventures wreak havoc in their real world. Dr. and Mrs. Dupré have tried every babysitter in the neighborhood and are at their wits' end. Enter Ms. Joyce. Strict and old-fashioned, she proves to be a formidable adversary. The boys don't like her or her rules and decide she's got to go. Through a series of escalating events-told as high-action comic panel sequences-the brothers conspire to undermine Ms. Joyce and get her fired. When they go so big that even Ms. Joyce can't fix it, suddenly she's out. Finally, success! Or is it?

No/One #1 (of 10) -  Kyle Higgins, Brian Buccellato & Geraldo Borges

Ten months ago, the Richard Roe murders shocked the city of Pittsburgh. In the months since, the killings have sparked a dangerous political movement, copycat killers, and a masked vigilante who's still determined to hold the powerful accountable. Not a symbol. Not a hero. They could be anyone. They're NO/ONE. Superstar writers KYLE HIGGINS (RADIANT BLACK) and BRIAN BUCCELLATO (Chicken Devil) and rising-star artist GERALDO BORGES (Nightwing) bring you the extra-length first chapter of a true crime superhero drama in its own corner of the MASSIVE-VERSE! PLUS! The story continues in "Who is No/One," a monthly companion podcast starring RACHAEL LEIGH COOK (She's All That) and PATTON OSWALT (Netflix's The Sandman, Minor Threats, Marvel's M.O.D.O.K.)! NO/ONE is a Massive-Verse series.  

The Nowhere Man #1 -  Jonny Bloozit & Guilherme Lindemberg Mendes

Richard is trapped in a spirit world called The Dreamtime, a surreal landscape of the subconscious where dreams are real. Follow his journey as he encounters gods, shamans, and other strange, unexpected creatures. Straddling the fields of action/adventure, introspective literature, and horror, check out this confident first issue from master storyteller Jonny Bloozit!

Pandora Perfect TP -  Roger Langridge & Brett Parson

Not your regular babysitter! Pandora Perfect, the hilarious criminal mastermind, crash-lands into her very own collection!  For when criminal genius, sometimes babysitter and all round bad 'un Pandora Perfect is broken out of prison by her faithful robot Gort, no one's valuables are safe! Pandora and Gort set out on the heist of their lives, stealing fabulous jewels, pickpocketing guffwarblers, and investigating the secrets of a moon made of sausage! The breakout star of 2000 AD's acclaimed Regened specials, Pandora swindles, cheats and lies her way to infamy and riches in this hilarious collection! 

Parker Girls TP Vol 1 -  Terry Moore

An accountant for billionaire Zackary May embezzles $10 million dollars and loses it to a Parker Girl, setting off a chain of events that have Tambi and her team investigating murder and international espionage. To get really close to May though, Tambi will need the help of the only girl he ever loved... Katchoo. Will she come out of retirement to help stop a power-hungry billionaire? Find out in this exciting new series from creator Terry Moore!

Seven Sons TP -  Robert Windom & Kelvin Mao

Eisner Award-winning artist JAE LEE returns to creator-owned comics with his first new title since 1994, a seven-issue limited series, collected here in its entirety.         In this thriller set in an alternate timeline, Nicolaus Balaak correctly predicted that on July 7, 1977, seven identical sons would be born to virgin mothers. Now, on their 21st birthday, one of these Seven Sons will be revealed as the new son of God and lead humanity into a golden age of morality, peace, and prosperity. It's The Fugitive meets The Book of Revelation, as Delph breaks free from his sheltered life to uncover the truth behind the Church and find his place in the world before Judgment Day arrives.

Squished GN -  Megan Wagner Lloyd & Michelle Mee Nutter

Eleven-year-old Avery Lee loves living in Hickory Valley, Maryland. She loves her neighborhood, school, and the end-of-summer fair she always goes to with her two best friends. But she's tired of feeling squished by her six siblings! They're noisy and chaotic and the younger kids love her a little too much. All Avery wants is her own room - her own space to be alone and make art. So she's furious when Theo, her grumpy older brother, gets his own room instead, and her wild baby brother, Max, moves into the room she already shares with her clinging sister Pearl! Avery hatches a plan to finally get her own room, all while trying to get Max to sleep at night, navigating changes in her friendships, and working on an art entry for the fair. And when Avery finds out that her family might move across the country, things get even more complicated.

Whatcha scooping up this week, Fantom Fam? 

#WOTW #What's Out This Week? #comic #comic book #comic books #comics #manga #Squished #Seven Sons #Parker Girls #Pandora Perfect #The Nowhere Man #No/One #Link & Hud: Heroes By A Hair #Kitaro #House On Fire #Hoops #Hidden Systems #Green Girls #Golden Sparkle #The Forged #Flavor Girls #Evita #The Dragon's Betrothed #Dear Body #Dark Ride #Be My Love My Lord #Cauldron Of Horror #Bea Wolf #Ancient Enemies: The Djinni

[vreugd-madelon]

My Last Summer with Cass Review

My Last Summer with Cass by Mark Crilley is a 256 page Young Adult Graphic Novel Stand-Alone.

Megan and Cass have been joined at the brush for as long as they can remember. For years, while spending summers together at a lakeside cabin, they created art together, from sand to scribbles ... to anything available. Then Cass moved away to New York. When Megan finally convinces her parents to let her spend a week in the city, too, it seems like Cass has completely changed. She has tattoos, every artist in the city knows her. She even eats chicken feet now! At least one thing has stayed the same: They still make their best art together. But when one girl betrays the other's trust on the eve of what is supposed to be their greatest artistic feat yet, can their friendship survive? Can their art?

I rate this book 4.5/5 Stars.

This is both a cute and gut wrenching story about friendship and the struggles that come with it. Currently I have my own friendship that I’m struggling with, do I keep trying and trying and trying or will I spend my energy elsewhere and give this up. Because of my current situation this book hit a little closer to home than it usually would.

The characters are very distinct from each other, but also feel very 1 dimensional as they really have just one quirk that they stick to. Cass, the free artist with a lack for the rules, and Megan, the good kid that’s bound to her parents. They do get a little more loose by the end.

The art style itself is stunning. I do really like the sketchiness of the pages and it feels very akin to Brody’s Ghost (which I’ve also reviewed.)

Do you have any questions? Or maybe some recommendations? Send me an ask here on Tumblr or tweet me.  If you wish to support me, you can buy me a coffee! Or even buy my debut fantasy novel, The Mending Road.

#My Last summer with cass #Mark Crilley #cass #megan #summer #graphic novel #stand alone #manga #art #artist #friendship #book #novel #review #book review #book reviews #brody's ghost #bitter sweet

[honchos1]

Which One Is The Best Themed Events Planners In Dubai

We are one of the leading Themed Events Planners in Dubai. For our clientele, we specialize in crafting one-of-a-kind, unforgettable experiences. Our team of skilled experts will collaborate with you to design a custom event that is sure to wow your guests. We provide a variety of services, such as choosing the right location, catering, decor, entertainment, lighting, and sound, among others. For any kind of occasion, we have years of experience setting the ideal ambiance. We will make it a memorable affair, whether it's a birthday party, wedding, corporate event, or any other unique occasion. We take pleasure in providing excellent customer service and work hard to make every client's experience one they won't soon forget.

A themed party involves a lot of work, imagination, and dedication. The host of the party chooses the theme or concept, and then every element, location, and atmosphere flow in accordance with the original concept. The visitors at this style of celebration participate actively in the performance and are required to dress in keeping with the party's theme. When everyone is working together, the outcomes are just amazing.

Who Are The Event Planners?

All types of special events are planned, arranged, and carried out by event planners. The planners mostly work with clients from outside who are commemorating significant occasions and take care of every detail of their celebration, whether it be a wedding, birthday party, anniversary, or corporate function. The primary duties of an event planner vary based on the demands of the client and the type of event, but they typically involve vetting vendors, coordinating with them, and managing the entire event crew.

Are you already planning your next private event? If so, here is a selection of our most popular ones.

Themed Event

There are many opportunities to demonstrate your organization's inventiveness and hospitality abilities, including at the Carnival, Christmas dinner, and New Year's Eve party.

Birthday Party

Would organizing an elite party make you anxious just thinking about it?

Your best option is to hire an event planner! The Honchos will assist you in organizing a spectacular birthday celebration in Dubai, from theme and style selection to graphic design and decorations to make the event truly one-of-a-kind.

Bridal Party

Whether it is a bridal, baby, or anyone-to-be party, we can design stunning, distinctive themed decorations or a straightforward styled party to ensure that everyone has a good time together. To truly dazzle your guests, our team of event planners works with the top local caterers, cake designers, and balloon artists.

Anniversary

Wedding anniversaries are occasions that are just as deserving of celebration as the wedding itself, which for many individuals is one of the most significant days of their lives. Whether it's your first, twentieth, or fiftieth wedding anniversary, we know how to make it as memorable as the day you started your enduring relationship.

Even though a unique theme party may cost more than a straightforward party, we charge you less than any other theme party organizers in Dubai. Our fee is reasonable and accessible to everyone. We customize everything to meet your needs and base the fees on those needs. You may depend on us for completely adaptable services. We operate in most parts of the city and are currently recognized as the Top Event Management Company in Dubai, United Arab Emirates.

#Themed Events Planners in Dubai

[softsan]

NCT WEREWOLF AU (kun)

🖇Breaking Point (pt.2)

MASTERLIST

PARTS: | 01 | 02 |

WOLF PROFILES | Y/N’S NAMES

GENRE: Werewolf AU, Fluff, Angst (future)

QUOTE: “Taking you back to his home had truly cemented how little he wanted to let you go, but the part of himself that remained rational argued that whisking you away from everybody you once knew wasn't the right thing to do.”

WARNINGS: Graphic scenes of violence, Blood

The night flourished under the watchful eye of the waxy crescent moon. Little critters hastily scampered to their burrows as Kun pawed through the forest's depths, his distinctive footprints left behind in the damp dirt below.

His fearless mate lay upon his back, your hands threaded through his silvery grey fur as your legs roped around his waist. Your cheek nuzzled between the blades of his shoulders; a smile unconsciously painted upon your precious face as you drifted off to dreamland.  

Kun had never felt so full, so content. When he started his morning, he thought it ought to be like just any other. Another meaningless day, matching the likeness of the past six hundred years. Never did it occur to him it'd transpire as such, never had he envisioned this was how he'd stumble onto his mate.  

Despite the brimming happiness, his heart felt, his conscience grew weary. For he had sworn years back he'd not do anything that would further tarnish the name of their species. 

Yet, in the span of an evening, had been culpable of the typecast crime of stealing a bride to be from your wedding.

What are you doing? He interrogated himself. You're supposed to be the responsible one in the pack.  

“Kun,” You mumbled in your sleep, "Who's a good boy?" You knotted your fingers, latching tighter onto his fur.

Kun's wears slipped away, stupefied at the sound of his name leaving your lips. 

You dreamt of the bashful wolf, your hands ruffling his mane of fur while praising him for bringing you a book from the bookshelf of your father's pavilion.  

"Kun's a good boy!" You cooed, scratching behind his ears.  

The greyish wolf from your dreams rumbled appreciate of your pats.  

"I'm going to keep you forever and ever," You leaned in, hugging the beast with all you might.

Kun's ears felt hot as he listened. He shook his head, gathering his composure, telling himself to fixate on the path ahead instead.  

───

Dawn had arrived, alighting the scenery with a soft pinky hue, while the sleepy sun slowly rose from beneath the greenery.

Kun had since transformed into his human counterpart, cradling your listless frame in the safety of his arms. You remained, peacefully dozing, a thin line of drool running down your chin. 

As he stepped into the family's residence, the stone mansion before the field of luscious clover, he was greeted by a curious few.  

"Kun?" Eve, Haechan's mate, said stunned, untying her apron as she stepped into the dining room. 

She had been behind the kitchen’s counter stirring an iron pot of breakfast porridge on the stove.  

Kun ignored their confused queries, stepping up the stairwell and heading towards his room.  

Prim, Yangyang's mate, jumped off Yangyang's lap and quickly treaded behind Kun, poking her head over his shoulders for a better look. Yangyang was dragged after his mate, his hand still interlocked with hers.  

"Who is it?" She pried, wedging her shoe between Kun's bedroom door and doorframe, preventing him from shutting them out.  

Yangyang was who just as intrigued, pushed back the oak door and ushered his mate in. Kun sighed in defeat, stepping back and allowing the two inside.

Kun gently rested you on the cushion of his mattress. He gingerly lifted your head to squeeze a pillow underneath and tucked your legs under a woolen fleece.  

"Kun?" Yangyang interrogated, "Does this happen to be your-?"

"Mate?" Winwin, from out of nowhere added, he was leaned against the door frame, attentive to the conversation being had.  

Prim nodded eagerly, delighted by the possibility of the arrival of more mates.

"Yes, Y/N's my mate."  

"Y/N!" Prim exclaimed, repeating your name, "Eve! Honey!" She echoed for some of the other mates to come upstairs to meet you.

"How did the two of you even meet?" Winwin raised a brow, crossing his arms. The last he recalled, Kun had been on a rescue mission in the city with Yuta.  

Kun bit if the inner of his cheek, all his lectures about being an outstanding example for their wolf species was going to come back to bite him at this very  moment.

"While being chased by a mob of people, I jumped over a wall belonging to Y/N's husband." Kun hesitated, "That's how we, you know, met."  

Yangyang's eyes widened in disbelief, "You mean your mate is a married?!"  

"Not exactly," Kun stared at his feet, avoiding eye contact, "Y/N wasn't married yet. She was about to get married."  

Winwin's stood up straight, taken aback at the revaluation, "You stole a bride from a wedding? You Kun, Mr. I'll never do anything to further perpetuate the rumors made by humans Kun?"

Yangyang busted into an incredulous fit of laughter, slapping his palm on the post of the bed. Prim towed Yangyang back scolding him that he'd wake you from your slumber.  

Winwin cracked a smile, reveling in the irony that the most courteous and proper subject in their pack would encounter his mate in such a disreputable manner.  

"Give him a break," Honey stuck her head through the doorway, her mate Xiaojun hot on her heels, "I'm sure he's already tortured himself enough already,"  

Xiaojun jerked his thumb in the air, ordering the other wolves to exit the room. Winwin, outranked Xiaojun in age and succession and unlike the others was not compelled by Xiaojun's command, instead he lurked behind while the others left Kun’s bedroom.  

"Here to rub it in my face some more." Kun failed to hide the twinge of annoyance behind his word.  

Winwin clapped his hand on his brother's shoulder, "I'm done for now," He paused, scanning between you and Kun, "However, you might want to think about a way to explains all of this,"

Kun lifted his head.  

"I mean stealing her from her own wedding, taking her to your pack in the middle of the woods," Winwin's voice lowered, "That she's your mate and the universe has tied you two together for eternity,”He clapped his hand against Kun’s shoulder once more before taking a step back. “Good luck.”

───

You smacked your lips together, stretching your arms overhead before letting out a loud yawn. You groggily sat up your head, accidentally thumbing into the wooden headboard.  

"Ouch," You winched, massaging the back of your head while cracking open an eyelid.  

The mid-day sun had illuminated through the curtain-less windows, washing the room with a golden hue. Its heat shone a warmth, melting away the chilling morning dew.  

"Where am I?" You frowned at the unfamiliar setting. The greyish wolf you knew as Kun was nowhere to be seen.  

You slipped your feet in a pair of cotton slippers that were set beside the bed and stood onto your feet. You wandered about the room, examining the interior décor.

Beside the bookcase and pinned upon the pinstripe wallpaper were aged pages of parchment. You titled your head, studying the invention that appeared to be simplified into a schematic diagram. The body of the machine had long panels representing wings, it was vehicle of sorts designed to take flight.  

"Impossible," You said with uttmost admiration.  

You didn't believe the machine outlaid on the pages would be successful in its intention of flying. Nonetheless, you found whoever had detailed and sketched the piece to be a visionary, someone who dreamed of things bigger than what was known to be possible.  

You peeled your eyes away from the parchment, striding towards the door and twisting the doorknob. It was unlocked. You stepped through, entering a poorly lit hallway. You weren't sure which direction you'd saunter, deciding upon the stairwell downward that emitted the most light.  

"You're awake!" A woman standing behind a mixing bowl beamed.   She spun a wooden spoon in circles while instantaneously adding grains of sugar.  

"Come on, we saved some breakfast for you."

Your stomach rumbled as you approached, sitting beside a woman whose hair had been intricately woven into the high bun and secured by a glass hair-clip.  

"Flora," She introduced, passing you an empty bowl, "And that is Eve," She referred to the woman with the mixing bowl.  

"Nice to meet you," You politely bobbed your head, your eyes unintentionally lingering on the bite mark that had been scarred onto Flora's neck.  

They are with the wolves. You deduce. Were they kidnapped from their weddings too?

Eve scooped some reheated porridge into your bowl, offering to add some honey and fruits. You obliged, thanking them for their hospitality.  

"Nonsense," Eve wavered her hand, "We're all a family here,"  

Your face brightened, likening the kindred idea. You had never had a strong inclination towards your existent family. Your father's neglect and hostility only furthering your contempt.  

Kun's appearance on your wedding night was truly a blessing. For it allowed you to hone your own path. You were free from your father's overbearing hand and no longer a bird locked inside its cage.  

"How many of you are there?" You dug the spoon in the porridge and taking in a mouthful.  

Eve hummed for a moment, "There are about twenty-one werewolves in this pack. Wait twenty-three if you count Jisung and Chenle."  

"They only recently joined," Flora added some context, "They're Fig's younger brothers."  

"Fig?"  

"Jungwoo's mate," Eve explained, "Honey in the recreation room is Xiaojun's mate. Prim in the garden is Yangyang's."

"What about the two of you?"

"Haechan," Flora pointed towards Eve, "Doyoung" She motioned back to herself.  

"There are also a few wolves who have mates that aren't living with us," Eve listed, "Peony, Rosa, Jade, and Fig just left back to town a few days ago."

You tried reciting, lowering each finger along with their name "Honey, Prim, Peony,⁠—" Your voice trailing off, forgetting the rest.  

Eve laughed, "Don't worry, you'll remember them over time."  

Your head still spun, befuddled, "Are you telling me  all of you were stolen by wolves on your wedding day?"  

Flora scoffed, Eve giving her a look.  

Is that a yes? Or?

"No, none of us were stolen. We all encountered our partners in different ways."  

Flora rolled her eyes, "That's one way of putting it." She got out of her chair, excusing herself for a walk around the balcony.  

"Flora and Doyoung got off to a bad start," Eve whispered, returning to her cake mixture.  

"Oh,"  

You were grateful that you and Kun seemingly got on well. Your interactions had been short, but he had been nothing but gentlemanly so far.  

"It was mentioned that Kun took you away from your wedding though?" Eve carefully proceeded, unsure how touchy the subject may have been.  

"Thankfully,” You answered, your relief still evident. “I really thought I'd end up being the baron's third wife,” You dug for another spoonful, "I had heard about the rumors that wolves like to steal brides, but never had I imagined they'd be anything but rumors." You said heartedly.  

"You're not upset." Eve noted, "Nor are you scared."  

You shook your head, "Why would I be?"  

"It's just peculiar. Wolves have had a fearsome reputation. Even I had a preconceived fear when I found out what Haechan was."  

You considered what Eve had said. It wasn't untrue. Wolves had been long transcribed a vicious creatures amongst humans. And yet, you had felt differently when you first laid eyes on Kun.

───

Kun raked his hand through his hair, perspiration dripping from his neck. He had just come back from a run, exhausting his muscles.

He had hoped the time alone would put things into perspective or at the very least offer an idea on how to handle matters concerning  you.  

Taking you back to his home had truly cemented how little he wanted to let you go, but the part of himself that remained rational argued that whisking you away from everybody you once knew wasn't the right thing to do. 

Kun slipped on pair of trousers from the coat rack, covering his lower half before entering the household.  

"KUN!" You came running in his direction.  

Kun stood stunned, your sweet scent dazing him once more. 

You had previously been sitting opposite Xiaojun's mate Honey, drinking from a teacup she'd offered you.  

"KUN!" You muffled a cry into his back, hiding behind him.  

Kun opened his mouth and closed his mouth. Your fingers had curled around both of his triceps. The skin you touched tingled like you had alighted a spark that ran like a current back and forth.  

"Y/N," Eve called out for you, "Honey was just joking around,"

Honey disagreed, "I never joke when it comes to fortunetelling,"  

This only made you wail harder.  

Xiaojun's mate had the strange ability to see within the future, a gift which readily occurred among witches but not so much amongst humans.  

"Y/N," Kun was able to maneuver you away from his back, so you’d faced him, "What did Honey say to you?"  

"She said you're going to take me back." You let out a sob.  

Kun hadn't an answer. He hadn't even decided how he wanted to handle this situation yet.

"Promise me you won't take me back."  

"Y/N," Kun tried.  

Your cries intensified.  

"I promise, I promise!" He said desperately, unable to bear seeing your cry any longer.  

The moment the words left his mouth your face sobered. You effortlessly wiped your nose and brushed away your tears.  

You grinned as if you'd never been crying, "I'll hold you to that.”

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[theparanormalperiodical]

Top 10 Controversial Horror Films That Are Famous For All The Wrong Reasons *gags* *cries*

At the beating heart of horror is offence.

From that undeniable sense of something not being quite right, to the CGI-blood-spurtin’-adrenaline-fuelled scenes that leave us shaking in our boots, horror pivots on the knife edge of controversy.

It’s used to drive plots. It’s used to drive hype. And at the end of the month, it drives studio executives to the bank.

Horror films can be traumatic enough. But there are some films that bear the cross of controversy more than others. There are some films that have been branded as so damaging to their potential viewers that merely circulating copies of the film is illegal.

And yet their infamy has forged cult viewership. What was once shielded from us has now become ‘must see’.

Today we are going to be counting down horror’s most controversial films and what made them quite so topical.

*I’m going to star the ones that you can actually watch without getting traumatised. Some are controversial not because of their content but because some religious or political groups disagreed with them*

#10 - The Blair Witch Project (1999)*

Let’s ease in with a classic - a classic you can watch without sleeping with the light on.

In this found-footage flick we see a team of film students as they explore a local urban legend. But what they find leads them to unknown and ungodly territory.

The problem with this film is that it was marketed as a true story. No, not based on a true story, a true story. Yep, they claimed what we were seeing was real, found footage of some teens going mad as they forage deeper into mysterious woods.

IMBd went so far as to report that the actors were dead. Then, the movie studio super-charged their efforts to confirm to the public that not only was this film 100% real, the three main actors were still missing. The parents of the actors then started receiving sympathy cards.

There’s even a mocked up website that perpetuates these claims. 

#9 - Night Of The Living Dead (1968)*

Time for another not-too-disturbing film.

This is the original zombie apocalypse film saw a group of Americans attempt to survive an incoming attack of the undead while trapped in a rural farmhouse.

But the Motion Picture Association of America wasn’t too happy about it. The film rating system was yet to be in place, allowing children to also show up for an afternoon screening and be greeted by a 97 minute montage of extreme violence.

“The kids in the audience were stunned. There was almost complete silence. The movie had stopped being delightfully scary about halfway through, and had become unexpectedly terrifying. There was a little girl across the aisle from me, maybe nine years old, who was sitting very still in her seat and crying”

#8 - Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer (1986)

In this psychological film, we watch a random crime spree take place at the hands of a couple serial killers. Loosely based on real murderers Henry Lee Lucas and Ottis Toole, its controversial reputation was founded on the gore ‘n’ guts screened in the movie.

Whilst it didn’t receive much attention from the public, various classification boards across the world ensured new versions edited with certain scenes - often involving sexual assault and necrophilia - removed for viewers.

In 2003, the BBFC (the UK classification board) finally allowed the uncut version to be released and Australia followed suit in 2005.

#7 - I Spit On Your Grave (1978)

It’s the original rape-revenge flick. And it managed to piss everyone off.

Originally titled Day of the Woman, it tells the story of a fiction writer who exacts revenge on a group of four men who gang rape her.

Despite its pro-women claim-to-fame, the 30 minute rape scene begs to differ. Furious debate surrounds its feminist label as a film that forces the audience to endure rape from a female perspective and long-winded violence against men (something which is often reserved for women in horror). Regardless, the graphic violence earned it a steady ban in Ireland, Norway, Iceland, and West Germany.

#6 - Silent Night, Deadly Night (1984)*

You don’t get many controversial Christmas films. They typically stick to a cookie-cutter plot ‘n’ purpose every holiday season. But there are no strong women who need to rediscover the meaning of Christmas here.

Instead, we see a child traumatised by seeing his parents murdered on Christmas Eve go on a seasonal rampage as an adult.

A week after its release in the early 80s, it was pulled from theatres due to backlash. Marketing was focused on a Santa Claus killer with adverts often airing during family-friendly TV programmes and meant numerous children developed a phobia of Father Christmas. Large crowds protested cinemas with one notable protest involving angry families singing carols at the Interboro Quad Theater in The Bronx.

It was only in 2009 - 25 years after its original release - that a DVD of the film was first made available for purchase in the UK.

#5 - Psycho (1960)*

This legendary film follows the disappearance of a young woman after her encounter with a strange man called Norman Bates, one of horror’s most iconic figures. The controversy that would engulf this fim lay not in the violent attack on an innocent woman or even the disturbing content of the film.

Oh, no. It was because of what the leading lady was wearing.

In the opening scene of the film, we see Janet Leigh wearing nothing but a bra.

*gasp*

This racy attire was emblazoned across promotional material, meeting Hitchcock’s high standards of creating controversy around the movie. There was a no late admission policy for movie theaters, and the posters told viewers “Do not reveal the surprises!” to maintain a mysterious aura around the plot twist.

#4 - The Human Centipede (2009) (all of ‘em)

I’ve watched a lot of horror films, in case you couldn’t tell.

I’m used to watching a scary movie, shaking off the anxiety, and moving on with my life. But there are some that stayed with me. I only watched the trailer for the first movie, and it legitimately traumatised me. It gave me quite a severe, sudden bout of a depression for a solid month when I was 13.

Throughout horror’s goriest franchise, we see an evil doctor and amateur mad scientist attempt to sow several people together into a centipede-like chain from mouth to anus.

*retches*

At the heart of promoting the franchise was controversy. Tom Six, the director, forced a narrative that claimed from the first film that this was "100% medically accurate". He even alleged a Dutch doctor helped inspire the film, confirming that with an IV drip, this was entirely possible.

Although it didn’t receive furore that amounted to serious censorship or long-term banning, it was infamous for having its viewers vomiting in the cinema aisles.

The second film, however, was subject to much more severe controversy and could not legally be supplied in the UK until 2011 due to its heavy focus on sexual abuse, more graphic violence than the original film, and it’s pretty vile depiction of a murderer that was intellectually disabled.

Audiences were used to the graphic nature of the franchise by the third and final release. As the least-controversial and least-enjoyable film according to critics, it barely made a dent in the horror community.

Good riddance, I guess?

#3 - Faces Of Death (1978)

I’m not sure I’d recommend this one per se - but I will give it credit for being an interesting project.

This documentary-style film is a montage of footage of people dying in different ways. As a result of its very graphic and very real content, it was banned and censored in many countries. Only in 2003 was it released on DVD in the UK after a scene was cut featuring dogs fighting and a monkey being beaten to death.

Germany, Australia, and New Zealand followed suit, reversing their bans and releasing edited versions.

However, 7 years after its release, the media revamped its interest in the film after a maths teacher showed it to his class at a Californian high school. Two of his students claimed they were so traumatised they received a costly settlement to reimburse their emotional distress. Things took a darker turn a year later, when a 14 year old bludgeoned a classmate to death with a baseball bat; he claimed he wanted to see what it would be like to actually kill someone after watching Faces of Death.

#2 - Cannibal Holocaust (1980)

This Italian film’s title alone hints towards two frightening things: flesh-eating humans and genocide. In this found-footage movie we see an anthropologist lead a rescue team into the Amazon rainforest to find a group of filmmakers that went missing.

The rampant graphic content including sexual assault and animal cruelty showcased in the film (7 animals were killed during filming in some pretty horrific ways) led to it being banned in 50 countries.

Some also alleged that a handful of deaths seen in the film were real, as were the missing film crew. In fact, the actors portraying the documentarians signed contracts that stopped them appearing in motion pictures for an entire year to maintain the illusion of reality.

And only 10 days after its premiere, the director was charged with obscenity and the film confiscated. All copies were to be turned over to the authorities. There are currently a range of versions that have been edited to varying degrees and are allowed for circulation.

#1 - A Serbian Film (2010)

No.

Nope.

Don’t do it. Don’t watch this film.

A Serbian Film follows a retired porn star who agrees to feature in an “art film” for some cash. Little does he know this film will include rape, incest, pedophilia, necrophilia…

Just don’t watch it.

It is still banned in South Korea, New Zealand, Australia. It is supposedly a parody of politically correct films made in Serbia that are funded by foreign groups and allegedly speaks openly about post-war society and the struggle for survival.

*shakes head*

Off to have a 3 hour shower, brb.

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