#'well I kind of wanted to buy a TV for that house anyway so'

[victorluvsalice]

-->But oh shit – all that took long enough that it was 11:30 PM! AKA prime “Countdown to Midnight”-watching time! I couldn’t have the gang (in particular Smiler) miss it AGAIN after what happened at the dance party last time! So I quickly slapped a TV into the sitting room upstairs in the house, then had Victor and Smiler teleport there and Alice use her super speed to run up to meet (unfortunately, she can’t tunnel into actual buildings – and DEFINITELY not onto the second floor!). Fortunately, they all arrived in good time, and everyone got to witness the countdown to midnight and properly celebrate this time around. :) Alice gave Victor a kiss on the cheek, and Smiler gave them a hug, aww. :) Seriously glad they made it – I would have been sad if they’d missed out on that tradition AGAIN.

-->And with that, it was time to head home! Alice made some Italian meatballs as both she and Victor were feeling hungry; Victor checked on the greenhouse and took the cone off Kelly; and Smiler entertained the kittens before heading to the barn to make some computer chips and mechanisms. Victor and Alice then went to bed as the holiday ended on a successful note for all of them. And Kelly adorably batted at the knitting box in the seance room. XD Might as well end on a cute note, right? Next time -- well, I happen to have played the next session on Black Friday, so it only felt right to do the gang running their grocery store. XD We'll see you then!

#sims 4 #the lazy save #victor van dort #alice liddell #smiler always #yeah I noticed the time right around when I finished setting up the picture #and was like 'oh shit' #'well I kind of wanted to buy a TV for that house anyway so' #'CHOP CHOP SIMS MOVE IT' #fortunately they all made it in time and were able to PROPERLY celebrate watching the countdown :) #I'm glad I like watching the final countdown on New Year's myself #and yeah after that just a bit of chilling out at home #including Kelly being adorable with the knitting box #I think cats actually can knock balls of yarn out of it #don't think Kelly managed that #but we'll see what happens in future #and yes technically 'Black Friday' fun next time #goodie XD #queued

[insanechayne]

~ ~ ~

#this is a good one of these kinds of posts I swear #just wanna do a shoutout to my bestie even though I know he won’t see this #but I love him and feel like hyping him up anyway and don’t wanna make a whole actual post about it and annoy everyone #anyway yesterday I took my car in for an oil change and tune up thing and didn’t know how long it was gonna take so I set up a ride #with bestie back to my mom’s place if it was gonna be a while but then they said it’d only be like an hour and a half or so unless there was #actually something wrong with my car in which case we’d just discuss it and go from there. so bestie picks me up at the car place and I tell #him that and say he doesn’t have to stay and I can just wait there at the place if he’s busy but he says nah he gonna hang with me. asks if #I’m hungry and wanna get lunch and I hadn’t eaten yet so it worked out. went to the good Mexican place in town and order in their drive thru #I ask if he wants me to cash app him some money to cover my share and he very aggressively says ‘oh hell no’ which was honestly adorable and #really sweet. goes on to say ‘girl you know you don’t need to worry about money’ which is also super sweet and makes me feel all weird and #wiggly inside cause I’m not used to people being kind to me in that way or just buying me shit just because. and he’s always doing that kind #of stuff too just paying for my food or sending me money if I pick stuff up for us or whatever. dude got bucks at least good for him. but #yeah anyway so we got the food and then he went to a gas station to get us drinks then parked and ate and hung out with me until my car was #ready to go. even offered me money to cover the cost for the car if I needed anything major done and I could just pay him back little by #little. thankfully car is all good but his sentiment was well taken and much appreciated. gave me a big hug before we parted ways as he #usually does and bro gives the best hugs for real they’re so instantly comforting and you really feel the love they make me so happy. and he #even is gonna help me put together a new desk and chair at my house so I’ll have a place to do schoolwork at home and finally setup my tv in #my room. dude does so much for me and will then thank me just for hanging out with him as if I did anything special at all #this man deserves the whole fucking world and I’d do anything for him. love him so much #so ye that’s my hype post for my boy cause I just had to brag about him somewhere and get my feelings out #personal

[atom-writings]

HAIII could you write the heta men of your choice with a gn s/o who acts like a cat?? (rubbing their head in their arm while cuddling, BITING (affectionate), knocking shit over to get attention, and most catlike of all LAYING ON/CUDDLING THEM RIGHT WHEN THEY NEED TO GET UP)

hetalia romano, prussia, canada, russia, england, and america with a catlike s/o

1.1k words ~ gender neutral headcanons

tw: a couple suggestive implications, but thats it!

a/n: people who let me do guys of my choice i am hopelessly in love with you. thank you.

Romano

Romano is such a cat boyfriend, so good luck with that. Absolutely nothing is getting down in your household, I guess.

He finds your catlike affection cute for a bit, but it's definitely not his favourite. He'll happily cuddle whenever you want, just don't bite him! it's weird...

But he'd love how you always lay on him when he needs to do something. He didn't want to do it anyway. Now he has an adorable excuse!

When you push things off counters, he just doesn't care. Sure, he'll give you attention, but only briefly. His house is a mess, a broken glass is nothing new. Plus, he does the exact thing to you all the time.

Basically, he's fine with it. Would prefer a more... mature S/O, but internally he knows he's just as bad as you when it comes to that. Maybe that's why you get along so well!

Prussia

Gilbert will never let anyone know this... but he's secretly a cat person. His massive dog army would make you think differently, but trust me on this (;

He'd just think you're SO cute! It doesn't even register to him that what you're doing is weird. He's just like, “Oh, you're headbutting me? I'll headbutt you back.”

His intense touch starved-ness makes your clingy and cuddly nature a perfect fit for what he wants.

Knocking stuff off counters would also work crazy well on him. As soon as you do that, he's running over and desperately cleaning everything up. You've got his full attention. First, he'll ask if you're ok, and then he'll get pissed. He promises to “punish” you later too...

(By “punishment,” he means he's gonna make you watch his terrible nerd shows.)

If you tried laying on him to get him to stay, he's just pushing you off. If he's in a particularly affectionate mood, he'll stay for a few more moments, but generally, you're just gonna end up on the floor. He's got stuff to do!

Canada

Matthew just... really doesn't know how to handle your affection. He hasn't had any romantic partners in a long time, so his only real reference for modern love is TV shows. And... they definitely don't act like cats in those. Are you weird, or is he?

He'll be super awkwardly accepting of it. Ok, you're curled up in his lap... so he pets your hair, right? When he wakes up to you laid flat over his body like a blanket, he just... doesn't know what to do. Where does he put his hand? Does he push you off?

Eventually, he'll get it. Then he's gonna go full cat owner mode. Constantly checking in with you, making sure you're always entertained, and cuddling you constantly.

He doesn't appreciate you breaking things to get his attention though... like, he's always willing to give it to you! No questions asked! You don't have to go to such drastic measures to get a hug.

If you flop on his lap when he's about to get up, he's just gonna accept his fate. You'll get no protests from him. Just... let him know when you're done, k?

Russia

Ivan doesn't even question anything you do. He just finds your cat-like behaviours super cute! It just makes him want to indulge you more.

Whenever you force him to continue cuddling, he just laughs and concedes. He's never had such a clingy S/O, and it makes him want to protect you even more.

However, this kind of thing does make him infantilize you even more. But on the bright side, expect him to buy you lots of cute clothes and build pillow forts for you two often (He might buy you a collar too ;)

He really doesn't mind you biting him. Once he knows you're alright with it, he'll probably bite you back! It's a weird point of pride for him to be covered in your little teeth marks.

Surprisingly, he also doesn't mind you breaking things to get his attention! He finds it... oddly romantic. Like, oh, you care about me enough to cause damage to things? Wow, you're so dedicated! (He has... problems.)

Basically, a S/O that acts like a cat would be great. He's such a dog boyfriend anyway.

England

Arthur doesn't see this as “acting like a cat” as much as he sees it as “immaturity.” Surprisingly, unlike how he feels normally about childish S/O, your behaviour could really grow on him. Of course, he'll always huff and sigh when you rub yourself against his arm anyway, but still!

He WILL get very annoyed by you sitting on his lap while he's busy though. Like, if he's just reading, whatever. But if you interrupt him when he's about to do something, he's just forcing you off his lap and walking away.

Also, do NOT break his glasses. Pissing him off like that will only make him ignore you more. Besides, if you wanted a super attentive partner, you really shouldn't go for Arthur anyway.

But despite all that, he really adores your habit of biting him. As long as it's not too painful, he does get a kick out of it, weirdly. When he bites you, it's always in a more... sensual way, but he adores how you do it so affectionately.

Basically, yeah, he thinks you're cute. But it's easy for you to get on his nerves if you act like that.

America

Alfred... doesn't really mind. But he thinks it's more entertaining than cute. He definitely realizes what you're doing early on in the relationship, and loves to tease you about it.

But... he also can't help the urge to take care of you because of it. He makes sure to always leave cute little snacks in your bag in case of emergency, and he NEVER misses a call from you. He gets a little paranoid about you getting taken advantage of because of how immature you can be.

You can bite him. He probably wouldn't even notice you did so.

However you show affection, he'll reciprocate. He's not much into the headbutting thing himself, he's a lot more uh... traditional? But he loves it when you do it!

He has to resist squeezing your cheeks every day that he wakes up next to you. It keeps getting harder.

You pushing stuff off every surface doesn't make him mad per se, but he definitely doesn't enjoy that habit. (Specifically, he would buy a bell that means you want attention. It's much cuter that way, and also you aren't breaking his things.)

In conclusion: it would be a very sweet relationship (:

#not proofread at all #heta tag #hetalia imagines #hetalia x reader #ivan tag <3 #arthur tag #aph russia x reader #hws russia x reader #alfred tag #aph england x reader #hws england x reader #aph america x reader #hws america x reader #hws romano x reader #romano tag #romano vargas x reader #aph romano x reader #gilbert tag #aph prussia x reader #hws prussia x reader #matthew tag #aph canada x reader #hws canada x reader

[greg-montgomery]

Ivy - Part 3

gif by: @fatherhotchner <3

Aaron Hotchner x Fem!Reader (Sean Hotchner x Fem!Reader)

Series summary: Your relationship with your boyfriend, Sean, is going great. Well, that is until you meet his older brother, Aaron.

Part 1 Part 2

Chapter summary: You have a fight with Sean, and find shelter in his brother's house.

♡ ♡ ♡ ♡

“No way,” you said to your friend who was on the other end of the phone. “Shut up!”

Sean was switching channels on the TV, unable to decide what to watch. Your reactions to whatever your friend was telling you caught his attention, and made him even more uninterested in watching television. He was more interested in you.

“Send me pictures as soon as you get ready tonight. It’s going to look so stunning on you, especially with your black dress,” you squealed with excitement. “Okay, talk to you later. Love you!”

“What happened?” Sean asked, curious, when you hung up.

“Okay so, remember when I went to Madeline’s the other day?”

He nodded, urging you to continue.

“Well, we were looking at jewelry and she showed me this necklace she has been obsessing over for months now, and obviously she knew she could never afford it ‘cause it’s like four thousand dollars. Anyway, she left the tab open on her laptop by accident and her boyfriend saw it and bought it for her as a surprise, can you believe it?”

Sean stayed silent, so you felt the need to explain yourself.

“I mean I’m not into that kind of stuff, but she loves jewelry so she got excited-”

“You don’t have to do that,” he cut you off.

“Do what?”

“Try to make me feel better about myself.”

“That’s not what I’m doing,” you defended yourself.

“Come on, everyone likes expensive things,” he said.

“Well yeah, but that’s not what I prioritize in a relationship. That’s not what I care about.”

“Y/N, I told you, you don’t have to do that,” he raised his voice slightly.

“Why are you trying to pick up a fight over nothing?”

“I just don’t like being pitied.”

“That’s not what’s happening. I just didn’t want you to think that I expect gifts like that from you. I only got excited for my friend,” you explained to him.

“Sure.”

That annoyed you. “Okay, Sean, I’m not gonna do this right now. If this is something you’re insecure about, you can’t put it on me; not when I’m being nothing but supportive on your new beginning.”

“Don’t you get it that just by saying these things you make me feel small?”

“That’s enough,” you raised your tone. “We’re supposed to be together in this. You’re not supposed to be embarrassed about how much money you make when it comes to me. We’re supposed to be doing life together.”

“How can I do this when you’re swooning over a gift that could pay our rent for god knows how many months?”

“I didn’t ask you to buy me the fucking necklace, Sean!  I didn’t even know you felt like this. I thought…I thought we were doing good.”

“We are,” his voice softened. “We are. You’re the reason I’ve am in the place that I am. You are the one good thing in my life.”

“Then what was this?” your voice softened like his.

“I just feel like I’m not good enough for you.”

“Sean…If you don’t work on yourself - no matter what I say or do - I’ll never convince you you’re good enough just the way you are.”

You tried to move closer to him, comfort him with you touch, but he stopped you.

“Not right now.”

--

Sean had left the house not even twenty minutes after your fight. He wanted his space and you respected that, so you didn’t call or text him. He’d come back when he was ready.

Still, you were left alone with your thoughts, in an empty house, overthinking the argument. You had stopped crying, but your chest was feeling heavy and your heart was beating fast from anxiety. Fighting with your boyfriend never failed to make you feel sad, stressed and really fucking lonely.

You wanted to talk to someone, you needed a hug, but it was getting late and you didn’t wanna bother anyone by waking them up over a possibly stupid problem.

You couldn’t help your thoughts from traveling to a certain someone. He was definitely awake at this time. Your heart fluttered at the thought of his face. His furrowed brows and dark eyes focused on a piece of paper, refusing to sleep, determined to figure out a case.

Suddenly you needed to see him.

Maybe you could drive to his house. And if he wasn’t there, he would simply not open the door and you’d drive back home. No damage done.

So you followed the plan. Arriving at his house, though, you finally realized what you were doing. And what you were doing was one word: stupid.

What if Jack was there and he was asleep? You’d wake the kid up just by ringing the bell.

Or what if Aaron had someone over? You cringed at the thought of the door opening, and you standing there with eyes red from crying, looking up at Aaron and then noticing a girl in a pretty dress, sitting on the couch behind him and asking him who’s at the door.

You shut your eyes to shake the thought away. What an awful image. You hated the girl in the pretty dress already.

“What if you just texted him to check?”  the little devil on your shoulder suggested and who were you to say no?

You: Are you awake?

Aaron: Yes. Is everything okay?

You: Yeah don’t worry. Are you home?

Aaron: I am. Is something wrong?

You: I’m outside. Can you open the door?

You heard his footsteps and your heart got crazy. Soon the door opened and you saw him.

Casual Aaron: the best Aaron.

“Y/N, are you okay? What’s wrong?” his voice was worried and soft and it made you melt and soon the tears were back in your eyes.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t know where else to go,” your voice broke.

“What happened?” he asked, and walked closer to you. His hands touched your shoulders. “Are you hurt? Tell me.”

You shook your head no. “I’m fine. Sean and I had a fight and-” you paused because of a sob, “and I didn’t wanna be alone. I’m sorry if you have plans, I can go, it’s totally fine.”

“You’re not going anywhere,” he said and moved his hand on your back to urge you to walk into his home.

You took a look around. No girl in a pretty dress on his couch, thank God.

“Can I sit?”

“Of course. Do you need anything? Some water maybe? Or tea to calm you down?”

“Maybe later,” you smiled and sat down.

“Do you wanna talk about what happened?” he asked when he took a seat next to you.

“We fought over the stupidest thing. And I’m starting to doubt if it was even his fault in the first place. Maybe I hurt his feelings without realizing? But then again, before today, I had never talked about guys spoiling their girlfriends or anything. So what was that? I don’t know…”

Aaron listened to you without saying anything.

“You must think I’m talking nonsense,” you said.

He smiled. “It’s a bit hard to understand you fully without context, but most of your words make sense to me. It’s normal not to know who’s at fault after a fight. Sometimes in the process of trying to understand the other person’s feelings we invalidate our own. ”

“Okay, Oprah,” you sniffled.

He glared at you. “That’s the thanks I get for trying to help.”

“Sorry,” you giggled. “Thank you. And thank you for letting me in.”

“Y/N, of course. My home is always open for you.”

Somehow you already knew that. That’s why you were there when it was almost midnight.

“Is Jack here?”

“Mhm…he’s sleeping,” Aaron said. “He had a football game today so he was exhausted. He fell asleep in two seconds. I didn’t even manage to finish reading him a single page of the book.”

“Sweet angel,” you laughed fondly.

“If you stay here tonight, you’ll see him in the morning.”

“Aaron, I don’t wanna intrude. I’ll be just fine,” you quickly responded.

“There’s no way I’m letting you drive back home this late alone. And because I can’t leave Jack here to drive you myself - unless Sean comes here to pick you up - you’re staying,” he said.

“But-”

“No buts.”

“Okay,” you whispered.

You sat there in silence for a bit. Until you decided to break it.

“Aaron?”

“Hm?”

“Can you hold me for a bit?” you asked and in a matter of seconds he had pulled you into his strong arms.

You buried your nose in the crook of his neck. Of course he smelled like heaven. Why did he have to smell like heaven?

This hug was exactly what you needed to finally let go. Your eyes felt watery again and you started crying, quietly this time.

You cried because Sean didn’t feel like he was good enough for you. You cried because Sean loved you, he really did, but there you were, in his brother’s arms, and there was no place you’d rather be.  You cried because the thoughts you had about Aaron the night before made you feel dirty. You cried because being held by Aaron felt safer than anything in the world. You cried because you realized that your heart had finally slowed down just by beating against his.

--

“Y/N!” Jack’s sweet voice filled the kitchen.

“Hi, angel,” you gave him a hug as he ran to you. “Good morning!”

“Good morning! Are you gonna have breakfast with us?” he asked, and started jumping up and down when your hug was over.

“I am,” you grinned.

“Can I sit with you?”

“Of course,” you said and pulled him on your lap. “Your daddy made pancakes. But we have to add some fruit too, right?”

He made a face.

“Jack,” you scolded him, but were biting back a smile.

“Fine,” he said and grabbed a fork from the table.

“Maybe I should have you here every morning, if you can convince him that easily,” Aaron interrupted.

“Best job ever,” you joked and kissed Jack’s cheek.

The two of you laughed and Aaron joined you at the table.

Who knew that eating pancakes with two cute Hotchners could be so healing? You had almost forgotten that you had cried yourself to sleep the night before, with Aaron’s scent on his sheets being your only comfort. You felt so bad that he had slept on the couch because of you, but it was obvious that there was no way he’d let you sleep there instead.

After taking the last bite from your plate, you noticed the screen of your phone light up.

Sean: Babe I’m sorry. Where are you? I wanna talk.

 You lifted your head and your eyes met with Aaron’s.

“All good?” he mouthed at you, so Jack wouldn’t notice.

You smiled at him and nodded your head.

You could steal a few peaceful moments with them before you had to deal with real life. It was safe there and you weren’t ready to let go just yet.

Part 4

ivy tag list: @preciousbabypeter @buckysmainhxe @galaxyofmyown @ssamorganhotchner @romanogersendgame @elhotchner @louderfortheback @northschild @iammirrorball @rousethemouse @kishie8 @save-the-sky @ssacharcoalgrey

#i can’t stfu so i’ll say that next chapter is gonna be 👀 #aaron hotchner #hotch #criminal minds #aaron hotchner x reader #hotch x reader #sean hotchner x reader #ivy #hotch 🪐

[theangelssing]

Painting

Ben being Ben, gender neutral!reader, third pov, Ben & reader are a couple, Reader is friend with The Boys

warnings: physical touch (romantic way), fluff & soft mostly, domestic fluff

a/n: this imagine will have a next part, mention of The Boys, only based on the tv show! forget everything about the end of the boys and let’s pretend the boys and soldier boy are friends <3

prompt: You thought Ben was the kind of guy who doesn’t remember anything their partner talk about. But You were wrong, Ben actually does remember everything you’re talking about. Here’s the proof with a painting you absolutely loved.

“Luv, where did you see the painting you were talking about the other day?”

You looked at him with big round eyes.

“Can you repeat, please?” you asked.

He only entered the room but was surprised to see you looking at him like that.

“Uh,, I was asking you about the painting you were talking about the other day. Where did you see it?”

“You mean, the painting?”

“Well, I think so, yeah,” he answered, kind of disturbed by how you were acting. “Doll, you sure you’re okay?”

You didn’t reply straight away, you were trying to understand how he could’ve remembered this small detail.

“We’re both talking about the painting from the small gallery on the street the boys are staying?”

“I guess, yeah, I think so, why?” Ben was slowly starting to worry.

“I barely mentioned it, never thought it was that important for you.”

It was Ben’s turn to look at you with big round eyes.

“Luv, you were really excited to go there only for that painting. ‘course I remember it.”

“Well, true, but it wasn’t the most important thing we did the other day.”

“You said you wanted it in your house. It was important.”

You looked at each other, you still shocked and him still amazed by how you could imagine he wouldn’t have remembered that detail.”

“Anyway, I asked because the exhibition ends today and the owner wants to sell it. Do you still want it?”

You blinked before pinching yourself.

“Luv why are you doing that?”

“Who told you about that? I didn’t mention it!”

“Not to me but you talked about it with Hughie. I was there y’know, still have functional hearing. And a brain.”

“Yeah, right,, sorry. Just didn’t think you would remember that.”

“C’mon, let’s ask the owner so you can have your painting.”

You lowered your eyes, looking at the floor. Ben took your hands, he didn’t understand your brutal change of behavior.

“As sweet as it is from you to propose that, I can’t afford buying the painting,” you sadly said.

“Who said you will buy the painting?”

For the second time you blinked and looked at Ben with big round eyes. You stayed speechless while Ben was grinning.

“Doll, don’t forget who am I, please.”

“I don’t but,,”

“No but, you let me offer you that painting.”

He was strict but sweet as the same time. You still could make your own choice, of course, but you knew he was sincere so it wasn’t difficult.

“You sure? I don’t wanna,,”

“I’m sure luv, if I tell ya,” he replied softly.

You finally nodded and Ben knew it was your answer. A bright smile took place on his lips.

“Right, let’s get ready then.”

He kissed you and you only murmured a ‘thank you’.

“Of course luv, anything for you.”

Ben was hard sometimes, but with you he was gentle, patient. You were happy to be with him, and thankful to the boys for letting you be with him.

#soldier boy and the boys are friends let me be delusional pls #the boys series #the boys #the boys fanfic #the boys tv #the boys fandom #the boys fic #soldier boy fanfic #soldier boy #soldier boy fic #jensen ackles #fluff #soldier boy x reader #ben x reader #ben (soldier boy) #domestic fluff #soft fanfic #soldier boy x y/n #soldier boy x you #gender neutral y/n #gender neutral fanfic #soft soldier boy #the boys season 3 #the boys s3 #gender neutral reader #gender neutral!reader #soldier boy imagine #soldier boy/you #soldier boy/reader

[hiorisgf]

##OH EM GEE I'M INLOVE WITH A GOLD DIGGER!

↪In which, Chigiri confesses and now you're official.

You were broke.

The kind of broke where even if you turn your wallet upside down, not even a single cent would come out. So you cry and then realize you had a piggy bank, so you grow hopeful but that hope is quick to turn into despair because you realize your piggy bank is also empty save for the speck of dust that gathered inside. This was the kind of broke you were experiencing at the moment, and damn was it not fun.

"Oh my god, I'll be homeless!" 

You laid your head on the table, grumbling about how easily money left your grasps. You were sure you managed your money well this time—ignoring the small trinkets you bought because you thought they were cute and cheap. (they were, but you ended up buying one too many that it almost cost as much as one designer bag from a famous brand. Although you haven't realized it, not one bit.)

"Should I sell my kidney? It's not like I need two anyway. Or maybe I'll sell my appendix to some shady scientist that wants to conduct research on it" you sighed, pondering the many ways to earn quick money. "Or maybe I'll just sell foot pics and hope someone gets attracted by them"

"You sure have some outlandish ideas, is this what happens when you run out of money and are struggling to make ends meet?"

You flinch when you hear the (un)pleasant voice of a man that had become (very)rich so suddenly. "Oh goodness!" you gasped, "Chigiri—who said you could enter my apartment without permission!" 

Chigiri tilts his head in a sassy manner. "You were the one who gave me your spare keys dumbass, and I already knocked, ten times actually. But you never responded and just went on with your really loud grumbling so I entered.'' He sits down on the floor beside you, placing the plastic bag he brought on the table.

"Oh" 

Chigiri sighs at your lack of response. "Here, eat your ice cream you love so much and cheer up or whatever."

"Thank you!" you sobbed. "you're the best." 

You nibbled on the ice stick in silence. Whilst Chigiri takes your remote and turns on the tv to watch whatever he finds, was interesting enough. 

"Why are you here? Shouldn't you be out practicing right now?" 

"Are you kicking me out?"

"No, just curious. Can't I?" 

He pauses the movie he had the audacity to watch on your tv. "I had a day off today, it's been a while since we last hung out together so I thought why not crash into your house."

"Oh." you stared at him in astonishment. "Damn, so you missed me?" you continued, a teasing lilt to your tone.

He pauses for a bit, and you relish in the five seconds you caught him off guard. "Yea, you got a problem with that?" 

You choke. The exaggerated kind of choke you'd see in movies. "What? Are you being slash serious (/srs) right now?"

"Don't talk like that, you sound punchable when you do" 

You place a hand on your chest, an expression mocking that of a hurt one appearing on your face "Now that's just rude and offensive!"

He rolls his eyes, but the small smile that plays on his lips tells you he's actually far from annoyed. 

In the midst of the light bickering you exchanged with Chigiri, a realization comes and hits you right in the middle.

Chigiri was rich, right? Right??

Suddenly, you shut your mouth. Now staring at him with a look similar to that of determination, and a shiver runs down Chigiri's spine. (in a bad way) what kind of idiocracy did you think of this time?

"Chigiri Hyoma." ah there it is. Chigiri thinks, he was familiar with the formula you used before asking for something ridiculous. "What?"

"Would you mayhaps be interested in taking me as your spouse (and then maybe pay my bills, joke, half joke hehe) and thus, get married?" you took ahold of his hand, staring at him with the biggest puppy eyes you could muster.

.

..

…

"Hah?!" 

His reaction was expected, honestly. But nevertheless, you persist. "Chigiri, please! You're my only hope!" 

"Rejected. What benefits can I even get if I marry you?" he asks with furrowed brows.

"My beauty. You get this beauty as your spouse, doesn't that sound great?" you quipped, and you honestly wonder where you got the audacity/confidence from.

"No thank you, I'm plenty beautiful enough alone. And you're way too inferior if you stood next to me, you'd look like a rotten apple. Wait no, you'd look more like a squashed pumpkin actually."

Damn. He didn't hesitate in squashing your self-esteem didn't he? What a great friend he is.(sarcastic) "god damn, why are you so rude to me? I'm your best friend, you know!" you whined, and all you  is a very sassy and entertained eye roll.

"In the first place, since when had you been so broke you'd resort to being the gold digger kind of archetype?" 

"Since last week. When I received my bills and found out I had barely enough money to get through the month."

"What did you even do to spend that much money?!"

"That!" you pointed at your collection of toys, which ranged from the doctor toy set, to the barbie doll you recently bought that had glowing wings. And then at the keychains and other trinkets you collected inside a drawer. 

The way you puff out your chest in pride gets him giving you a deadpan + a stink eye like no other. And you'd be lying if you said you weren't affected.

"No I don't and I won't! Don't insult me like that you pretty little prick!" taking a pillow from the sofa, you throw it at him in full force. 

"You're so gold digger material it's scary. I'd bet if given the chance to, you'd buy some crazy expensive neon green car nobody would appreciate in any angle. Wait, am I your first target then?" he said. And that one sentence triggered you oh so greatly if you had powers, you'd have brought towards him a tsunami.

"Ow!" he groans, and you smirk triumphantly. "Hah! Deserved. With this, justice is served!" 

"Why you!" he glares at you and he takes another pillow, propelling himself to hit you straight in the head with power as strong as a building falling over. You swiftly moved your arms to cover yourself, but even then, it still pushed you back to the edge of the couch you're leaning on. 

"Oh it is so on!" 

The next minutes were spent tossing and hitting each other with pillows. But overtime, the frown that once tainted your features turned into jolly smiles that contained unbridled joy, a rarity when you've reached adulthood. 

By the time you wave your (imaginary) flag in surrender, you're out of breath; and yet, still, the laughter continues to bubble out of your mouth and so does Chigiri's. The atmosphere is soft, and in this moment, it feels as though only the two of you exist in this world. 

You pant for air, hugging your pillow rather loosely—your hands were tired after gripping the pillows and using all your strength to throw it at one specific target all afternoon. When you've finally taken in the oxygen you needed, you let out another breathy laugh, one free of any troubles you might have had before. This hang out with him sure proved wonders in soothing your mind from your troubles.

Chigiri on the other hand, felt his breath hitch and his heart stop in motion—no, did it go faster? The heat rushes to his cheeks and he wonders if all of his blood rushed up to his face leaving the other parts dry. The lamp was certainly a paid actor with the way it shines upon you in just the right places to make you look ethereal. Well, as ethereal a person in their pajamas and a hair so messy a bird could mistake it as a nest could be.

His heart thumps, and without thinking much, "I like you," he confessed. His voice, barely above a whisper, but you heard him nonetheless.

Chigiri freezes, as do you, and it's rather comical from an outsider's point of view.

"Huh?"

Again, Chigiri flinches—how should he excuse this one? He wondered. But after a short while, he finally heaves out a sigh and decides to become a man and grow a pair. 

"I like you, romantically." he said, "And no I'm not lying. I'm telling you the truth." he continues, as if knowing what you'd say or react to already. 

During this time, Chigiri felt like burying himself six feet under and probably never come out unless it's to play soccer. This was embarrassing and too out of the blue, he worries if he ruined his five year friendship with you for good.

You're silent, mind busy absorbing the information you've just received right now. "Oh." 

You placed a hand to cover the lover half of your face. "Wow. That's a surprise. I happen to feel the same way" you awkwardly giggle, and a hopeful glint takes its way to Chigiri's eye.

"I.. I like you too" you stutter, and you think you'll actually explode with the emotions that soars and scatters up like the fireworks up in the sky.

Your stomach is twisting, and the butterflies aren't there. Instead, what happened was your organs became cotton candies and floated and you think it isn't long before you actually start flying as well and not just your insides.

"So, does that mean you accept my uh, deal from earlier?" 

"deal?" he tilts his head, confused. But when he takes a second to recall the previous events, he makes a sound of acknowledgement. "Oh, that one."

You nod and look at him expectantly, all the while, Chigiri hums, pretending to be in thought. "Alright, I accept your deal, dearest gold digger." he snickers, and you groan at the nickname.

"That's so unromantic! Do better, boo!" you trashed on his choice of pet name, and it prods a laugh out of him (it was hot. Not like you'd ever admit to that though.) "And besides, it's just this one time! And I'll pay you back when I receive my pay!"

"Sure sure." he nods his head unenthusiastically, as if unbelieving. "Just make sure you don't spend it on the dumb keychains and toys like this time. Goodness, buying a cooking set for kids? What are you, a child?" he teases.

You stomp on your feet and lightly smack his arm "Leave me be, those are fun okay? You should try them too sometime!" you groaned, "And yes yes, I promise you that alright. Now stop bothering me about it!" 

Chigiri chuckles one more time, and you stare (intensely), trying to capture the breathtaking sight that is Chigiri laughing without a care in the world. 

Pretty little bastard—how dare he capture your heart and make you down bad for him?

No headers bc i cant seem to do ribby the rabbit any justice. Also please don't ask me where I was going with this, I honestly don't know either.

#blue lock x y/n #blue lock x reader #hyoma chigiri x reader #chigiri hyoma x reader #chigiri x reader #bllk x reader #@@.xylvie's works

[olderthannetfic]

/726901861182996480/ a lot of the Richard Siken response is honestly so homophobic, trying to come up with some sinister reason for why a gay man would be interested in writing or reading sexy fanfic about attractive men in a TV show. There was a viral post going around here by some person with a Stranger Things username (not insinuating that fandom is especially weird or anything, just that I remember this person had one of the characters from that show as their username) that suggested he was a creep or groomer or something because he had not responded well to a teenager basically wanting him to do her homework for her, but “he happily writes fanfic of shows for her age demographic” (or something like that) which is both a truly bizarre description of Supernatural, a show that’s always been aimed at adults even if it also has a fair number of teenage fans, but also is really clearly trying to invoke some sort of Groomer Panic in a time when that’s rising as a form of violent homophobia toward LGBTQ+ people especially those who are AMAB. And it’s just such a bizarre statement: even if we were talking about a drama that was aimed at teenagers, in what ways is it “groomer” for an adult to watch this show (lol, on the website that is full of adults freaking out over kids’ shows) or for that adult to find the adult characters played by adult actors attractive enough to write sexy fanfic about them? It’s just really obviously reaching for an excuse to call a gay man a groomer.

In general, I feel like this website has a serious problem (it’s been the case at the very least since the panic over CMBYN, and before anyone gets pissy, I’m not talking about anyone taking issue with the content of the film itself, but the people making weird insinuations about gay/bi men for liking it or “the gay community” for embracing it or over the bi male novel author’s own sexuality or reasons for writing it, etc.) where a lot of people who are not gay/bi men think it’s okay for them to make weird homophobic assertions about it, and generally not bother to question their homophobic beliefs about gay and bi men, because they themselves are some other kind of LGBTQ+. I’m a cis lesbian and a lot of this particular seems to come from cis lesbians and bi women, often trying to couch it in a general sort of skepticism that women as a marginalized group might have toward men as a privileged group, but then it only ever seems to be directed at men who are also marginalized such as gay/bi men (and also MOC) and specifically for things that are a result of those marginalized identities and that don’t affect women — NOT a situation where a man is using his marginalized identity as an excuse for misogyny or anything like that. Anyway, people need to knock that shit off. Not every person in the LGBTQ+ community has the same experience, and being, say, a cis woman who is queer doesn’t necessarily make you any better of an authority on gay or bi men’s lives than cishet people if you aren’t making an effort to talk to them or read stuff by them or learn about their lives, and certainly doesn’t mean you can’t be homophobic toward them — just like how in turn, queer men can be bigoted toward lesbians and/or bi women. I don’t understand how people can be aware of other kinds of intra-LGBTQ+ bigotry — cis gay or bi people being transphobic, gay people being biphobic, etc. — and not be aware that this is also a thing that can happen from other LGBTQ+ people toward gay men.

And being ANY kind of queer absolutely does not give you a get out of jail free card for buying into and disseminating the moral panics about groomers, “kink at pride,” “drag is problematic and always sexual” etc. which are used by the right wing to hurt all of us. This was bad enough in like 2018 as part of the perennial brain worms people on this website have about Pride (that are because way too many of them don’t leave their houses and actually go to a Pride parade) or when people could plausibly believe that “groomer” was purely about shipping discourse and maybe the occasional actually kind of creepy older adult in fandom spaces who spends a little too much time glomming onto teens specifically. But in 2023 you don’t really have any excuse for not being aware of how those terms have broken containment and are now part of regular right-wing propaganda, and particularly a concerted right-wing campaign to try to re-mainstream homophobia in places where it had become socially taboo. Your discomfort around a real adult gay man just enjoying fanfiction, which does not affect you, is not justified and you need to work through that. Using terms like “groomer” for fucking fandom discourse when it’s come to mean what it does in the broader culture is just completely morally reprehensible. Get a fucking grip

--

[lonesome-witching]

You Don't Need to Buy My Love

This is a third part to the Robin is rich and Nancy is poor story. Part 1 can be found here and part 2 here. Enjoy!

Do you have any prompts yourself? Or do you want to dive into what I wrote before? You can read my previous prompts or send me some new ones.

Nancy opened her locker. A thin necklace tumbled out. A silver chain with the letter R on it. Nancy sighed and put it in her bag.

Since they had started dating, Nancy had found many secret gifts all around. In her locker, in the newspaper room, in her letterbox. Her mom was already starting to ask questions.

At first the gifts had been charming. Nancy had enjoyed receiving them. It had been something to look forward to. Now, they seemed more like a taunt. Every time Nancy was confronted with another item Robin had purchased her, she was confronted with the lack of presents she had given her girlfriend.

“Nance, hi,” Robin greeted, walking up to her locker. “Did you find what I left you?”

Nancy nodded.

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing’s wrong, Robin.”

“Are you sure? Because you look like you did before we started dating. Which means, very annoyed with me.”

Nancy closed her eyes. “I’m not annoyed with you, it’s just—” She stopped talking before she ruined everything. What she had with Robin was the best thing that had ever happened to her. She wouldn’t ruin it. Even if there were some elements that got under her skin.

“It’s just what?” Robin pushed.

“Nothing, forget it.”

“I don’t want to forget it, Nance. I want you to be happy. And you don’t look happy right now.”

If this were the movies, she would reach up and peck Robin’s lips before confirming she was happy. But she couldn’t risk that here, at school, with so many people around. So, instead she just forced a smile on her face.

“I am happy. I am happy with you. Why don’t we meet up tonight? Your place?”

“Alright, tonight.”

-

In the few months that the two had been dating, Nancy had only been to Robin’s place a handful of times. Not that Robin had been at hers much more. In fact, she could only remember once that Robin had actually been inside of Nancy’s home. That time she had snuck into Nancy’s room, late at night, to make out.

Robin’s house was bigger. Robin’s house was big. She had a pool, a TV room, and her own personal bathroom. Part of her liked being here, the part that relished at the opportunity to explore the wealth of her girlfriend. The more rational part of her hated being here. Hated being confronted with the capitalist reality of the society they lived in. Hated being confronted with what she almost, but ultimately couldn’t have.

Perhaps this wasn’t the best place to have this conversation.

“Do you want something to drink?” Robin asked.

“No, I’m alright.”

“Okay.”

They both fell down on the couch. Real leather.

“So…”

“So, what did I do? Why are you upset with me?” Robin turned toward Nancy.

“I’m not upset with you—”

“Could have fooled me.”

“Robin, I’m not upset with you. It’s just— It’s the gifts.”

“What about the gifts? You don’t like them? Is there something you’d prefer?”

“It kind of feels like you’re buying my love which you really don’t have to. Or— Or you’re just trying to confront me with what I don’t have, which doesn’t sound like something you’d do.”

“I— I just want you to have nice things,” Robin said, sounding utterly defeated. Nancy hated herself as she watched her girlfriend slump forward.

“I know that, Robin. I know you mean well. I just don’t want those things.”

“I can buy you something else. The necklace was a stupid idea anyway.”

“I don’t want anything but your affection.” Nancy shuffled closer, kissing Robin’s cheek.

“So, I’m not allowed to buy you anything from now on?”

“You can buy me something for my birthday.” Nancy kissed Robin’s other cheek. “And for Christmas, Valentine’s Day, our anniversary.” Each event was followed by a peck on her lips.

“What if you really need something?” Robin asked, there was a smile forming on her lips though.

“Only if I ask, okay?”

“Alright.” Robin’s hands grabbed her waist, pulling her closer.

#prompts #ronance #nancy wheeler #robin buckley #my work #stranger things #fanfic #robin x nancy #nancy x robin

[senjusonlygirlfriend]

Moving in with the Tr characters!

𝑻𝒘/𝑪𝒘: 𝒇𝒍𝒖𝒇𝒇, 𝒆𝒔𝒕𝒂𝒃𝒍𝒊𝒔𝒉𝒆𝒅 𝒓𝒆𝒍𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏𝒔𝒉𝒊𝒑, 𝑮𝒏!𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒅𝒆𝒓, 𝒎𝒐𝒗𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒊𝒏

𝑴𝒊𝒌𝒆𝒚 𝒅𝒐𝒆𝒔𝒏'𝒕 𝒉𝒂𝒗𝒆 𝒅𝒂𝒓𝒌 𝒊𝒎𝒑𝒖𝒍𝒆𝒔 𝒃𝒆𝒄𝒂𝒖𝒔𝒆 𝑰 𝒔𝒂𝒊𝒅 𝒔𝒐 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒉𝒆 𝒅𝒆𝒔𝒆𝒓𝒗𝒆𝒔 𝒃𝒆𝒕𝒕𝒆𝒓 :𝑫

𝑪𝒉𝒂𝒓𝒂𝒄𝒕𝒆𝒓𝒔: 𝑴𝒊𝒌𝒆𝒚, 𝑫𝒓𝒂𝒌𝒆𝒏, 𝑴𝒊𝒕𝒔𝒖𝒚𝒂, 𝑪𝒉𝒊𝒇𝒖𝒚𝒖, 𝑰𝒏𝒖𝒊, 𝒀𝒖𝒛𝒖𝒉𝒂, 𝑺𝒆𝒏𝒋𝒖

Manjiro "Mikey" Sano:

He had moved in with you, and he still fucking brought that crusty, musty, dusty blanket even though he's an adult. You'd both have the most random decoration in your apartment, all from Mikey. But hey, at least he asks before putting anything up! I would say both of your favorite places in the apartment is the shared bedroom. It's just so cozy to him, and he normally lays on top of you while you're doing work or just relaxing. Both of you for sure has one of those led toilet lights....

Ken "Draken" Ryuguji:

I feel like he would like to have a simple apartment. You would move in with him, not that he minds anyway. Doesn't really care about decoration and leaves you to decorate. He does sometimes stumble onto something during the day that would be nice to have in the apartment, and he'll bring it home. He's also scared you quite a few times getting up in the middle of the night to get something to eat, you forget that you moved in.

Takashi Mitsuya:

The both of you started out living in a small apartment before getting a bigger house. Mitsuya had his own room to sew all his clothes, there was fabric and drawings everywhere on the floor. Decoration wise, he enjoys decorating with you. He would want your opinion since you're living there too. Loves coming home to see you snuggled up on the couch in lots of blankets, watching tv.

Chifuyu Matsuno:

Peke J is definitely coming with Chifuyu if he were to move in with you (if they're still alive). He's had pictures of the two of you and Peke J framed and can finally hang them up. Asks someone from Toman(like Takemichi or Mikey) helps with first moving in. The first night you stayed at the new place, the both of you ordered pizza while watching tv. The mattress was on the floor in the morning, and that's where you slept.

Seishu Inui:

Your place is mad clean and organized, because I think that Inui would be an organized person. Like you can see your own reflection on the surfaces of things like tables and stuff. He wined the whole time the both of you had to move everything in, yet refused to take a break. I think he would love to have kind of a cozy atmosphere to come back to from work, so your place would have that kind of vibe.

Yuzuha Shiba:

She's so excited!! She finally has a place that she can call a safe space after what happened in a certain arc. Your place is kinda messy, but you both know where everything is. She loves taking the day off of work with you to lounge around in the apartment, sleeping in. You both wear each other's clothes, so you share the same closet. She also likes to take days off with you to go decor shopping, then come back and set it up.

Senju Kawaragi:

Your place by far is the most....... interesting. It's either your place has the strangest things or the most aesthetically pleasing to the eyes, not in between. She probably got most of your apartment's decor from Pintrest, since you both share an account. Half the time she still uses Takeomi's credit card to buy stuff offline. Both of you also have that toilet light as well. Her favorite thing to do is lay on top of you with lots of blankets and pillows, your cat somewhere lot in them, and some crappy drama soap opera late at night.

#tokyo revengers #tokyo revengers x reader #mikey x reader #mikey fluff #draken x reader #draken fluff #mitsuya x reader #mitsuya fluff #chifuyu x reader #chifuyu fluff #Inui x reader #inui fluff #yuzuha x reader #yuzuha fluff #senju x reader #senju fluff

[boneinator]

Hope this doesn’t bother you a lot, but can we get some headcanons of the teachers? I was curios about ur vision for them

Dw it doesn't bother me !! I love getting asks ^^

Anyway it's going under read more bc this feels like a long one

Sketch

• she/they enby, omnisexual (<- me when I'm projecting)

• mentor figure for the newer teachers

• gives drawings and crafts as gifts, might or might not have various voodoo dolls

• uses Colin as a monitor for digital art

Tony

• he/him, bisexual

• you CANNOT tell me he doesn't drink tea 24/7. Most British mf I have ever seen

• weird hearing, very sensitive to loud sounds but can barely hear normal talking tones. Applies to his own voice too so that's why he screams a lot

• kind of an inferiority complex for the decaying use of clocks over technology lol

Shrignold

• gay and homophobic idgaf

• aware of the harm he's doing but genuinely loves his cult- "family" a lot

• likes telenovelas, granny type of beat

Colin

• he/it Libramasc, pansexual (here I am, projecting once again)

• has haphephobia but is working on it (this one might as well be canon idk)

• everyone has a computer day, so even if you see him every day you only get screentime once a year

• autism 🫵

• his tail is retractable

• has SO MANY viruses, that's why he glitches and talks slow

Healthy band

• doing them all together bc how can you think of them alone :[ don't separate them

• common fanon of them being a family ykn the drill

• their "birthday" (or date of release lol) is actually fridge and steaks anniversary

• depending on the day they either make the most rancid bizarre food or a 5 stars, Gordon Ramsay approved meal

• running on the same luck, fridge can either be filled with normal groceries, nothing (you have to buy groceries) or gore. Like those are his guts leave him alone

• everyone hiding inside fridge is apparently a normal bonding experience

• bread boy is transfem !! (Should we start calling her something different?)

• spinach is also a she/they enby, nobody in here isn't lgbtq

Lamp

• he/him but doesn't really care, pansexual

• has been trying to be sober but he's already very fucked up, that's why he's like That™ in the TV show

• the other teachers we see in his episode are his party friends

• absolutely watches the others dreams, likes to bother them about what they mean

★ ok now the TV show ones

Briefcase

• has an absurd amount of skills, barbie kind of ridiculous

• lives with his brother and sustains them both

• workaholic

• was mr.petersons before red guy

• actually not that bad he's just really fast paced, genuinely just lost the trio on the fabric

Coffin

• he/him goth gf <3

• doesn't like music AT ALL. And is very mean about it

• besties with the tissue box !!

• originally only used his hush tone for work but it slowly morphed into his normal voice

• pretty bad PTSD

• very kind with kids and people in general tbh, it might be something useful for his job but it's just how he is really

Lily and Todney

• I don't think about them a lot sorry

• they know what they are doing and that their whole family dynamic is pretty fucked but they genuinely just really want a mom tho ,,,

Warren the wo-Eagle

• genuinely just hate him so I don't think about him a lot either lol

• had no power over the trio because he was fired and not technically a teacher anymore

• his whole Thing (ykn) comes from bullying and a feeling of inferiority. He still sucks tho

Mr.Transport

• well. I guess I just don't think a lot about the newer teachers

• was actually a really nice teacher before still going to work at 120 years old

• nobody really liked him but he was the other's only way of going outside the house so they endured him

• there was a fight over his will. People died

Electracey

• she/they enby n°3, lesbian

• really scared to touch her batteries now, has caused her to get cranky but still refuse to change them until forced

• puts up light shows for her friends

• huge sci-fi and videogames in general fan

• Colin's cousin. Actually all electronics are related

• wanted to be a music teacher but her biology said no

★ this is more of a general one but all of them are somewhere in the aroace spectrum !! I think it comes with the object nature. I have not defined where all of them fall tho

That's it I think. This is so long I am so sorry I just enjoy them a lot so I have a lot of thoughts

#dhmis #dont hug me im scared #headcanons #rambles #dang I have to tag them all?? #sketchbook dhmis #sketch dhmis #paige dhmis #tony the talking clock #shrignold the butterfly #colin the computer #healthy band dhmis #larry the lamp #dhmis briefcase #coffin dhmis #lily and todney dhmis #warren the eagle #warren the worm #mr.transport #choo choo man #electracey the meter #long post

[kamii-2]

Could you do a shy female reader x Rachel smut where the reader has a secret sex toy collection. Rachel finds it one day and decides to dom the hell out of her poor girlfriend :)

hi anon!! i’m back from my short break and i love this request so much

warnings: smut, cussing, fingering, making out, oral sex, sex toys (straps and vibrators), edging

pairing(s): dom rachel amber x sub fem!reader

genre: smut

pov: third person omniscient (imma start adding this to every story)

NOT PROOFREAD ⭐️

==================================

y/n and rachel had been together for 9 months, their sex was vanilla but they were both happy. the ‘worst’ thing they have done is rachel edging y/n, which doesn’t happen often. y/n loved it when rachel edged her, she wished rachel would do more freaky things to her but as too shy to say anything, so she started buying sex toys behind rachel’s back, and somehow hid it very well in her closet, they were in the corner in their boxes covered by random things.

rachel was a freak and did not hide it, the only reason she has not tried to do anything crazy with y/n is because she thinks she doesn’t like it, that’s why she doesn’t edge her often but she was very wrong.

-

y/n was out with some friends and rachel was at y/n’s house waiting for her to come home. y/n knew rachel was there and was a bit nervous she would come across her stuff because rachel does like to be nosy and look through her things but brushed it away after a while.

well, y/n was right.

rachel did exactly what y/n was scared would happen. rachel got bored and was looking through y/n’s room. she just wanted to see what kinds of things she had in her room. she looked through her nightstand and only found random little things like batteries and pictures of y/n and her.

when she got to the closet she only seen clothes and suitcases and other things you would normally keep in your closet. but then she spotted the top of a box in the corner, she was a little confused of what it could be till she moved everything that was in the way, she smiled so big when she seen all of the toys. she picked up the first thing she seen, which was a strap.

she was thinking of all the things she could do to y/n, she put the strap down and picked up a vibrator. rachel was shocked her quiet, shy, and sweet girlfriend was into stuff like this. when she was putting the vibrator back she knocked over all of the other boxes and found handcuffs and blindfolds. this made rachel’s jaw drop to the floor. she was 10x more shocked than before. she was super excited for when y/n came home.

-

it was 12:11 pm and y/n was on the way home from hanging out with friends. her and her friends went to a coffee shop and were studying and talking. (that is the most basic thing i have ever wrote in my life, anyway back to the fic)

when y/n got home rachel was sitting in the living room watching something random on tv. “hey y/n” rachel said trying to not smiling a little too hard. “hi rachel” y/n said while leaning over from behind the couch and kissing rachel on the cheek. after kissing her, y/n went in the kitchen to get a drink. “y/n,” rachel called out, trying to hold back a smile, “yea?” y/n responded while taking a sip of her water.

“so, i uh .. went through your closet.”

y/n’s heart dropped to her stomach, she hoped and prayed she found something .. anything else. rachel walked in the kitchen with a huge smile, “why didn’t you tell me you’re into that kind of stuff?” rachel walked closed to her, grabbing her girlfriends waist and running her hands up and down her hips. y/n was a bit embarrassed that rachel found out the way she did but it’s better than her never finding out or y/n having to tell her herself. “i don’t even know” y/n replied while looking staring into rachel’s eyes, it was obvious rachel wanted to fuck y/n and y/n wanted to get fucked by rachel.

“well, why don’t we try them out? cause it’s clear you haven’t used some of them in that closet” rachel said while getting closer to y/n. her hands traveled from y/n’s hips to her ass, gripping it. y/n was hot and bothered from all of rachel’s actions, she no longer cared her girlfriend found them, she was glad.

“please.” was all y/n could get out, she was thinking of all of the things they would do.

-

when they reached y/n’s room, rachel told her to sit on the bed which y/n obviously obeyed. rachel walked to the closet and opened it, immediately grabbing the boxed strap. “i’m excited to use this on you” rachel said while smiling and walking over to y/n. y/n looked up at her with doe eyes, hiding her excitement for what’s about to come. (pun intended)

rachel began to unbox the strap, it was pink and about 7 1/2 inches long, she was a bit shocked her quiet girlfriend would buy something like this but loved it nonetheless. y/n was sitting there examining rachel expressions and wondering what kinds of things they would do tonight. she was thinking about how hard and fast she would be getting fucked tonight, what positions they would be in, how long they would fuck for, if rachel would use other things from the close on her like the handcuffs and blindfold, she hoped she did.

after rachel opened it she put it on the bed next to y/n and straddled her while pushing her back on the bed..

==================================

i’m so sorry for anon but i lost all motivation to finish this but hopefully you enjoy the “finished” product!! anyway bye love you all 💋💋

#life is strange bts #rachel amber #smut #rachel amber x reader #this is my first x reader post for this fandom

[stannyramirez]

𝐚𝐬𝐬𝐨𝐫𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐥𝐲𝐫��𝐜𝐬 𝐦𝐞𝐦𝐞

 ❝Not a side or a main, I’m the only bitch he entertains. ❞

 ❝All my battles have been won but the war has just begun. ❞

 ❝The city looks so pretty, do you wanna burn it with me? ❞

 ❝As in heaven as on earth, we’ve been dead since our birth. ❞

 ❝Thank God I ain’t have to smack a bitch today. ❞

 ❝If I see you in the street, bitch, your ass is done. ❞

 ❝I don’t need your opinion, I do what I fuckin’ want. ❞

 ❝If he don’t eat it, he a d-bag. ❞

 ❝I’m killing myself when bitches would kill to be me. ❞

 ❝He keep calling, I ignore it. he says I’m crazy. Don’t I know it? ❞

 ❝I’d rather just do it then I’ll think about it later. ❞

 ❝I never learn my lesson, so I always do it twice. ❞

 ❝Say something once, why say it again? ❞

 ❝Cut deep and I’m still alive, I’ll talk my shit ‘til the day I die. ❞

 ❝They won’t fix it, they ain’t with ya. They won’t muzzle the mouth that just bit ya. ❞

 ❝Might show up to the party with a blunt — might get stoned, might get drunk. ❞

 ❝Walking passed the mirror like, ooh, damn, I’m fine. ❞

 ❝Haunted house, I make him scream. ❞

 ❝Bonafide hustler making my name. ❞

 ❝No one on the corner has swagger like us. ❞

 ❝We pack and deliver like UPS trucks. ❞

 ❝I got a basket full of lemons and they all taste the same. ❞

 ❝You can spend your whole life working for something just to have it taken away.❞

 ❝I don’t know why I say the things that I say, but I say them anyway. ❞

 ❝Keep on building prisons, gonna fill them all. Keep on building bombs, gonna drop them all. ❞

 ❝Chaos and commotion wherever I go. ❞

 ❝Tonight, I’m gonna let the Devil in. ❞

 ❝It’s my party, and I’ll fuck who I want. ❞

 ❝Who are you to change this world, silly boy? ❞

 ❝I’m a gangster, but I’m such a fuckin’ lady. ❞

 ❝First to watch my story but don’t like me? Weird. ❞

 ❝Never mind what I had to do to get these diamonds. ❞

 ❝These bitches wanna judge me but I don’t care. ❞

 ❝Only want a love where the card never declines. ❞

 ❝My baby is my employer. ❞

 ❝No, I don’t want your number. No, I don’t want to give you mine. ❞

 ❝Sun goes down, another dreamless night… you’re right by my side. ❞

 ❝You say go fast, I say hold on tight. ❞

 ❝Got you so obsessed, it’s sickening. ❞

 ❝You know I might break your heart, just let it slide. ❞

 ❝Could hurt you really bad, take everything. ❞

 ❝I let you try it, now you want to buy it, but you know my price is going up. ❞

 ❝So what if I’m toxic? ❞

 ❝Yes, sir, I’m’a do it again. I’m fucking him, her, probably they and them. ❞

 ❝I know you’re wondering what I’m gonna say, I do, too. ❞

 ❝My mind always wonders what will I say? I wish I knew… ❞

 ❝I love myself, I wanna see it. ❞

 ❝I’ma do just what I like on the regular. ❞

 ❝It’s really not my fault if you’re scared of a sweet little unforgettable thing. ❞

 ❝No, I’m not sorry. I’m just loving my body. ❞

 ❝You know I don’t give a motherfuck about your last name. ❞

 ❝Has someone like me ever existed? ❞

 ❝I can’t help it, I just woke up like this. ❞

 ❝Nightmare dream girl, I am what your type is. ❞

 ❝When I go into that ground, I won’t go quietly. ❞

 ❝I got troubles, they won’t let me be. ❞

 ❝I’ve been on the run since I was a boy. ❞

 ❝I’ve got troubles of more than one kind. ❞

 ❝If I had a dick, you’d probably lick it like a lollipop. ❞

 ❝Bitches say they fuckin’ with me, chances are they’re probably not. ❞

 ❝If he had a twin, I would let them run a train. ❞

 ❝I swear I feel like a toilet bowl shitting on everything I’ve said or I’ve done. ❞

 ❝Thanks for the talk, are we done? ❞

 ❝I’m over wasting time in life trying to be something I’m not. ❞

 ❝Do you ever feel like you’re underwater, drowning inside? ❞

 ❝I’m not gonna hang my head and be another accident. ❞

 ❝I’ve given up our romance. I have nothing left for love. ❞

 ❝I’m not sick, but I’m not well. ❞

 ❝Fingertips like memories, I can’t forget the curves of your body. ❞

 ❝Been around the world and found that only stupid people are breeding. ❞

 ❝I don’t even have a TV. ❞

 ❝Put me in the hospital for nerves and then they had to commit me. ❞

 ❝It’s a sin to live so well. ❞

 ❝I’d like to turn off time and kill my mind. ❞

 ❝Hear the voices in my head, I swear to god it sounds like they’re snoring. ❞

 ❝If you’re bored then you’re boring. ❞

 ❝The agony and irony, they’re killing me. ❞

 ❝She says she loves me at dusk, but at dawn I pack up my things and I’m gone. ❞

 ❝Never been a perfect soul but I will not apologize. ❞

 ❝I did a lot wrong that I can’t make right. ❞

 ❝That face, baby, it ain’t fair. ❞

 ❝I eat boys like you for breakfast. ❞

 ❝I never said it’s right, but I’m gonna keep doing it. ❞

 ❝I’m sick and, honestly? I’m getting high off it. ❞

 ❝We don’t deal with outsiders very well. ❞

 ❝They can smell the intention on you. ❞

 ❝They call me an American horror show. ❞

 ❝What I gotta do to find a sub or a dom to choke me? ❞

 ❝I could be your little monster. ❞

 ❝I like when you piss me off, it usually means the sex is rough. ❞

 ❝I am the big idea. ❞

 ❝If you got a problem, better speak up. ❞

 ❝My generation’s had enough, and you should be afraid. ❞

 ❝I like my coffee black just like my metal. ❞

 ❝I can’t wait for you to shut me up. ❞

 ❝I’m friends with all my demons. ❞

 ❝I’m the definition of the worst kind of mean. ❞

 ❝I will not die in the night but in the light of the sun with the ashes of this world in my lungs. ❞

#rp meme #sentence meme #inbox meme #vvmeme

[the-archxr]

*vague cryptid sounds* yOU TAKE REQUESTS FOR STEVE

can i please have headcanons for moving in together and/or him proposing??

thank you ily

I LOVE YOU TOO BRO AND IM SORRY THIS TOOK ME SO LONG

aight so for shits and giggles let’s just say you two practically already live together.

except you don’t live anywhere specific.

it’s either you’re at your house and Steve happens to be there as well, or vice versa. never once are you guys separated in any way because that shits nearly impossible.

you sleeping all by yourself in your cold ass bed? unacceptable.

him watching tv alone and eating leftover pizza? pizza that you had ordered??? no way jose.

even though you both need your space (cause quite frankly it’s unhealthy if you don’t), you don’t want to be in separate homes.

because you are each other’s home, ya feel??

anyways

I think you guys moving in together would be the most natural, organic fucking shit in the world. like the kind of thing where Steve just shows up on your doorstep with two suitcases, a backpack and the biggest fucking smile ever.

although let’s be honest, he’d make a joke about it, try to play it off as though he wasn’t bouncing off the freaking walls at the thought of actually living with you.

“rents fucking expensive, babe. I think splitting it is the more economical decision.”

and of course you give in; play along right with him

cause that’s just how the two of you are, and deep down you both knew this shit was coming (honestly you’re more shocked that it didn’t happen sooner).

it’s a smooth transition as both of your lives completely entangle

like to the point where you’re writing your joint schedules on the calendar; keeping your toothbrushes together instead of on either side of the sink; buying his shampoo without him even having to ask you; him having a glass of water ready for you on your bedside table.

anyone who comes over always asks if you’re secretly married; the running joke being you take off the ring when you have company and put it back on when they leave.

it’s the kind of joke that you both roll your eyes at and pretend to forget cause for the most part marriage and kids are at the back of your minds (until you find out months later about steve’s lil’ breeding kink, but that’s to elaborate on for another time if y’all ask nicely).

and so for a solid year and a half you somehow get even closer.

the kids and Robin visit you all the time, which isn’t surprising at all (despite the fact that Robin is constantly trying to bribe you guys on her moving in for a little bit once she graduates).

everyone loves your place and each person brings a little knick knack to add to the space. there’s even a designated shelf you put up because the kids just continue to bring so much stuff (el having a particular interest in bringing random wild flowers she picked off the side of the road).

meanwhile Dustin brought over his old Nintendo as a “welcome gift” (though it’s his excuse to come over all the time, saying “oh, I forgot I gave it to you. I just didn’t want to misplace it.”)

he comes over unannounced too, which causes a couple issues (although he never fixes them) after he walked in on the two of you having sex for the third time.

but when the kids aren’t stealing your pocket money and buying shitty takeout, you and Steve actually have quite a lot of alone time.

living with him is simple and fun and calming.

you’re either cooking together, dancing to his cassettes or having horror movie marathons

(and although he’s terrified of the horror movies you pick, he really likes when you watch them and your adrenaline gets up…if you catch my drift *winking aggressively*)

all in all, you and Steve fall into a beautifully tender and comfortable routine. it’s a routine that no one would dare to change, for the worse or the better…

except for Steve himself, and the small blue velvet box that waits in the back of the Robin’s closet.

✨the-archxr headcanons✨

#the-archxr headcanons #steve harrington x reader #steve harrington headcanons #steve harrington #joe keery #stranger things #stranger things x reader #stranger things headcanons #st4 #stranger things 4

[bleekay]

finished rereading. couple of thoughts:

since it's the freshest in my mind, i have to say the ending of rwrb remains absolutely devastatingly cathartic, this alternate reality where the events of 2016 and beyond in this world didn't happen. i remember my first time reading it, like actually sobbing because the trump election still felt so fresh and painful and raw, and that final scene where they flip texas, my home state, really really hit home.

which is another bullet point on my long list of grievances with the film. that scene was just. not nearly on the emotional level as the book. it was supposed to be this like. grand build-up. and instead it fell flat for me. it was too short, too condensed.

which, frankly, i think that's essentially what i disliked about the film overall. it was way, way too condensed. and look, i get it, you're crunching down a 418 page book into 2 hours, they have to cut stuff out. but they cut out. everything. they took the handful of scenes with henry and alex and cut everything else out like it was all just superfluous to their romance. JUNE. june was gone!!! alex's sister who looked out for him and who knew him better than he knew himself, who had such a huge role in the book, was nixed from existence. i can't fathom why. nora and pez and bea were there, but barely. there was no "white house trio" or "super six" or very much at all of alex's or henry's friendships outside of each other?

rafael luna, someone alex looked up to immensely, the blueprint of the man alex wanted to be, a senator who was like him, a queer latino in politics for the genuine desire to do good, whose seeming betrayal cut alex to the core, but through whom the corruption of richards was revealed? he also was nonexistent in the film. instead of that entire arc, richards' scheme to publicly forcibly out alex and henry's relationship, luna's role in helping bring that all to light, was replaced by....... some reporter guy that alex hooked up with once, who it is implied is the villain behind outing alex and henry. with no, like, explanation whatsoever. jealousy, i guess. gay guy jealous, outs guy he liked because he didn't hook up with him again? because he's a skeevy reporter who doesn't care? what the hell kind of story is that. queer on queer violence easier to put in film, i guess, than the story of corrupt republican candidate (also sexual predator) who wants to crush democratic encumbent president so has his team hack private email server and then leaks all the alex-henry emails to the public and pays people to get hotel footage and take photos to back it up. i literally just. can't understand this change whatsoever. it feels gross. tbh.

the whole plot is just so off. it doesn't even feel like the same story in a lot of ways? the ending of the movie is actually, legitimately nonsensical. they're publicly outed and alex i guess decides of his own accord to like. make a public speech confirming their relationship? this is while he and henry haven't been able to talk, communication lockdown, no conversations with henry whatsoever to even ask if he'd be okay with confirming their relationship like that. (book alex would ne-ver go public without explicit consent and support from henry) and then afterward the king is like "oh well technology these days, they can fake photos and emails" my dude the first son already announced it live on tv. there's no choice to be made there. you can't say "it was all faked" when alex claremont-diaz already told the world it was not fake. lmfao.

there is one thing -- JUST ONE THING -- that i appreciate about the film. and that is leaving out all the h*rry p*tter references. (to be fair, the book was written before the infamous transphobic twitter spiral, and also casey mcquiston, the author, has since actually removed the hp/jkr references in her book. which. bless. i didn't actually know that until i looked it up right now. i ought to buy a newer version.)

anyway. the book is really, really good. it offered me great escapism the first time i read it. it offers me comfort now rereading it. the movie........... was not it. there were certainly pretty men kissing and boning in it so if that's what you're looking for it's fine. (although i hold that alex's actor does not look like alex to me, which was actually one of the reasons i didn't initially want to watch, on a petty note) but as far as the meat of the story, the heart of it, the depth of it, it just wasn't there.

but it did get me to reread the book, so at least there's that.

#rwrb #under cut not niceys to movie-rwrb just fyi

[melonba11s]

Snowed In (Reupload)

One of my fluffier fics!

Minors and Ageless blogs do not interact, you will be blocked.

Contains: Strade, Cuddle or Die basically.

You had really started to believe that there wasn’t a God, or if there was one, he was laughing at you hysterically from on high. The night had been going on simple enough, sitting on the opposite end of the couch from… Him. 

Strade. Several weeks before he had dragged you into that basement, left you tied down there as he sliced into your skin, and found other creative ways to draw out screams, cries and curses. And in the end… He’d for some reason, decided to “keep you”. You scratched under the heavy metal collar around your neck. He called for you rather often, forcing you to sit with him while he watched television. If you decided to cook, he’d sit in the kitchen and watch you. You supposed it wasn’t too bad, if there was something you wanted to make, he’d buy the ingredients with barely a blink. If he wasn’t using it, you were free to use the TV, and all the streaming channels included. But there was no way you were going to try and get close to him. 

This maniac had kidnapped you, tortured you, and was keeping you like some kind of pet. Which led to where you were, huddled on one side of the couch as he sat on the other end, completely relaxed as he watched his program. You glanced outside the window, watching the snow come down. It was really heavy… The morning news had stated to expect a blizzard, white out conditions, with temperatures below zero. But at least you were inside, with central heating. 

Perhaps it was that thought that had triggered the next events. You stiffened as the lights flickered, stayed on for a few seconds… then everything shut off, instantly dousing you and Strade in darkness. You sat in silence for a moment, listening as Strade took in a deep breath, then let out a string of curses in german. 

“Scheiße…I gotta check the breakers.” he grumbled, standing up. Then he grabbed your hand, giving it a squeeze, as if he read your mind. “Your collar is battery powered.” He said, there wasn’t a hit of malice in his voice. Just a reminder. There would be no escape. 

“...I’d be crazy to try in this…” you gestured to the outside, and Strade glanced out the window. The thick snow and dark night made it look like TV static. He let out a small bark of laughter. 

“Right, You would be.” he said gruffly, giving you an unwelcome ruffle of your hair. You stayed there as he descended into that basement. “... verdammt, it’s dark down here.” he grumbled, disappearing. 

You stayed there, huddled up, and listened to the wind blow and the sound of shuffling downstairs. It was actually rather peaceful, sitting there in the dark alone. 

“No use.” You turned your head as Strade appeared, looking somewhat annoyed. “Must be a grid issue…” You stood up, thankful that you wouldn’t be forced to sit down with Strade anymore. 

“I guess I may as well go to bed, then!” You commented, sounding a little too cheerful in spite of yourself. 

“Wait.” You stopped as Strade grabbed your wrist. “Heatings down. It’s gonna be cold.” You refused to look at him, to see his smug face. You knew immediately what he was suggesting. 

“I’ll be fine. I have blankets.” You said curtly, shaking his hand off. Surprisingly, he didn’t insist, or tighten his grip at all. 

“.... Alright, we’ll see.” Was all he said. Was it just you, or did he sound mildly hurt? He must be trying to guilt you into it. But that wouldn’t work. You quickly made your way through the dark house to your tiny room. You hadn’t been here long, but Strade had gotten you a mattress to start off with. And a few posters of a show you had mentioned liking. It almost felt like a mockery, but you’d put them up anyways, afraid of some sort of punishment if you didn’t. 

So your night started off cozily enough. Your bed was still warm, and you had a few blankets to curl up under. Then the cold began to creep in. At first you had just simply curled up into a tighter ball, drawing the blankets closer. Rubbing your legs together to generate friction heat. Your collar wasn’t helping matters, it’s metal sapping heat out of you quickly. 

Now you laid there on your side, curled up tightly, shuddering every now and then. You swore your breath was clouding in front of you. This really wasn’t fair… You could hear Strade snoring down the hall. How could he sleep in this, wasn’t he cold? You stayed where you were stubbornly for what felt like another hour, and it was only getting colder. 

Your fingers and toes were starting to ache, every so often a sharp stabbing feeling would go through them. You held your hands to  your mouth and breathed on them, whimpering as the minor comfort disappeared as soon as you closed your mouth. No. Fuck it. You weren’t gonna die like this. 

Wrapping yourself up as tightly as you could, you stood up. The floor against your bare feet made you yelp, like you’d just stepped onto an ice rink. Your legs shook heavily, you half wondered if you’d even be able to make it to Strades room. 

You quickly, and as quietly as you could, shot down the hallway, stopping at Strades door, your hand almost touching the handle. You hesitated for a moment, suddenly uncertain. Then you pushed those feelings down. You needed to at least try. You gave a soft groan of relief as you slipped into his room. It was only mildly warmer than the rest of the house, but it felt like a godsend. You blinked in the darkness, noticing he’d put something up over his windows, and glancing down, he’d stuffed a towel under the door to help insulate. Smart, you wished you’d thought of that. But you’d expected the houses built in insulation to hold up better. 

Closing the door, you shoved the towel back in place, before turning to face the room. You stood there, shivering still, for way too long, feeling stuck. It looked like Strade had prepared himself… You couldn’t see him under all the damn blankets. You wanted to cuss him out, asking why he didn’t share… But you knew why he didn’t. 

He knew you’d eventually come crawling to him for warmth. Your survival instinct was strong, he’d commented on it before. A reason he’d kept you. Carefully, you made your way over. There was no way to really tell where to lift the blankets, and you didn’t really want to risk waking him by letting in cold air. You felt like a toddler now, crawling into their parents bed, as you crouched on the floor, and began to burrow your way into the covers. 

All your apprehension and anger disappeared at once though. It was… warm. Really warm. You half wondered if you could utilize Strade as a space heater for a small office. You nestled down, content to be in the small slice of bed you had. Your shuddering picked up for a few moments, as your body grew used to the warmth, and you felt feeling returning to your toes. 

… You wanted more though. It wasn’t enough. You half wondered if you’d gone crazy. But you slowly inched your way deeper into Strades nest. Until you were right next to him. He really was warm. And he looked so harmless like this, even cute. Eyes closed, mouth partially open, and his curly hair looked really soft.

As you considered a tentative stroke though, you flinched as he rolled off his back to face you, his eyes now half open. And you could tell a shit-eating grin was plastered on his face. Before you could even think of rolling out though, he had you trapped against him, locking you in with a simple arm over your middle. 

“I knew you’d come around…” he grumbled, nuzzling you with a stubble ridden cheek. It felt almost like sandpaper, but… it wasn’t unpleasant. 

“...I got cold.” was all you could bring yourself to say. You relaxed in his grip slowly, then, snaked an arm around him, pulling yourself chest to chest with him. You needed as much of his warmth as he could give. You heard him chuckle, as he gave you a tight squeeze. 

“No worries… I’ll keep you warm.” His voice was soft… almost affectionate, as he closed his eyes, falling back asleep. You weren’t far behind either, finally warm, and safe, as the wind outside howled on. 

#Strade

[freakingoutthesquares]

Living Next Door To Jarvis Words: Clark Collis Taken from this edition of Select Magazine, July 1995 but they haven't scanned this article. Transcription: Acrylic Afternoons

Since 1988, various Pulp people have lived with Mr. Cocker. Even then, he was too famous to do the hoovering.

Russell: 1988

Having been friends and band members for years, it seemed a good idea when Jarvis Cocker (vocals) and Russell Senior (guitar / violin) moved in together. The year: 1988. The location: a sub-zero flat above a butcher's shop in Sheffield.

Russell: "The thing about Jarvis is that he tends to go to jumble sales and buy a load of useless old clutter. The mantlepiece would be covered with little pottery mice and those birds that dip into glasses. At first I had this hardline policy - I'd bung stuff into a carrier bag and stick it under his bed. But he just wouldn't stop getting stuff. How many people do you know who own five full-length mirrors? And moving house with him's a nightmare. He'll remember the elephant's foot umbrella stand but forget the cooker."

"Also, I don't rate him as a chef. Jarvis brought his girlfriend round for dinner once. He bought this chicken, which was black. And he's saying, Are chickens generally this colour raw? And I'm like, Well no, Jarvis, they're more generally pink. Anyway we sat down to eat and Jarvis brought in these potatoes and lettuce. So we're waiting for the rest of the food to arrive. But it never came. That was it."

"I say all this with the greatest affection. I ought to have known better, really. I'm a fastidious person. I like to keep things tidy. And Jarvis is just the opposite. That's why I left, because things were just sinking into squalor. Are you letting Jarvis give the case for the defence? Well, let me tell you... there isn't one."

"Would I live with him again? No."

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Nick: 1989

Nick Banks (drummer) was living in a shared house in Sheffield. There was a spare room. Jarvis needed somewhere to live...

Nick: "Jarvis turned up with this Transit van crammed with rubbish ... a cardboard house ... a little doll made out of plastic fruit. So I started helping out with all these bags and boxes. Then this car pulls up and Jarvis goes, Oh it's me driving lesson. He gets in and the car hops off like a kangaroo. We had to cart all the stuff by ourselves. At first we managed to keep the living room fairly bare, but every so often you'd find a fluffy gonk on the table and you'd think, Now whose might this be?"

"We lived together for about a year and then he went to London. I moved to London in '91 and lived with Steve. It was a 14th floor squat in Camberwell, at a place called Crossmount House. I think it's been featured in a few episodes of The Bill. It was quite orderly, though. We didn't have any dogs on strings. I can imagine living with other band members could be a problem with certain groups. But we were never the kind of outfit where people would suddenly bring out acoustic guitars and singing 'Cwm-by-a' at 5am."

"Would I live with him again? In an ideal world I'd have to say... No."

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Steve: 1990

After Jarvis moved to London, Steve Mackey (bass) flogged him the keys to a squat for £75. But the singer was evicted soon afterwards. Steve had heard the stories, of course, but thought the others were exaggerating. He told Jarvis he could move into his Camberwell abode.

Steve: "Have you spoken to Russell? I'm sure he didn't have many good Jarvis stories. Russell was very into efficiency. Some sort of Nietzschean phase. I've heard that before I joined he'd turn up at rehearsals with a check-list of jobs which had to be done before music could commence."

The main thing about Jarvis is his clutter. He is the skip king. It was a bad time, because I was at college and I was tired all the time. I'd come home just wanting to watch the TV and the front room would look like Andy Warhol's Factory. You couldn't move for Joe 90 annuals... My best memory of Jarvis was when we moved to Peckham, by which time the band was beginning to get a bit more popular. Jarvis started to get paranoid about signing on, so every second Tuesday he'd get dressed up in his grunge outfit - one of those hats which pull down right over your ears and a really scruffy jumper. I used to stay in and miss college just to see him. He never pulls his weight on the domestic front. He's not lazy, he'd just rather be doing other things. But you kind of trade those things for having someone who's fun to live with."

"Would I live with him again? Well, I've nowhere to stay at moment so I wouldn't rule it out. I always enjoy living with Jarvis. On the other hand, maybe I do see enough of him as it is."

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Jarvis Cocker: The case for the defence

Jarvis: "I suppose I do have a lot of stuff. But most of the time I was living with Nick and Russell I was on the dole and there was nothing to do during the day. To satisfy my hunter-gatherer instincts I would go round to jumble sales and collect stuff. I've never really been a person to live with, just you and one other person. It puts too much strain on the relationship. So the time I lived with Russell probably wasn't so great. It was also really cold. It was above a butcher's shop. And my bed was above the butcher's fridge, which made it even worse."

"I can't remember turning up with a black chicken. On the other hand, it's only been the last three or four years that I've started to learn about cooking. I did my first soufflé the other day. It was a success. It rose. It's true that Russell would turn up to rehearsals with a list of domestic chores. But I could never concentrate on that kind of domestic thing. It used to depress me. I'd think, God, I want to be a famous person in a band. I shouldn't have to deal with things like pots and hoovers."

"I did find things out about people by living with them. Russell's got a fondness for walking about without many clothes on. That can be a bit unsettling early in the morning. The thing I found most distaseful about Nick was the his tea. He's one of those people who just shows the cup the teabag. It always used to make me feel ill seeing him drink a pint-sized mug of this milky water. Steve... Well, Steve just made me feel dirty because he was always having baths. He'd have a bath at least once a day. Sometimes twice. I used to wonder what he got up to in there. The main thing that probably got on Steve's nerves about me was that when I have a shave I do tend to leave all the bits of hair in the sink. But my excuse for that is that I haven't got me glasses on so I can't see that it's there. I know that that really got on his nerves. He even told me off about it once.

"Would I do it again? Yeah, I don't see why not. They're not too bad."

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