#little. thankfully car is all good but his sentiment was well taken and much appreciated. gave me a big hug before we parted ways as he

[insanechayne]

~ ~ ~

#this is a good one of these kinds of posts I swear #just wanna do a shoutout to my bestie even though I know he won’t see this #but I love him and feel like hyping him up anyway and don’t wanna make a whole actual post about it and annoy everyone #anyway yesterday I took my car in for an oil change and tune up thing and didn’t know how long it was gonna take so I set up a ride #with bestie back to my mom’s place if it was gonna be a while but then they said it’d only be like an hour and a half or so unless there was #actually something wrong with my car in which case we’d just discuss it and go from there. so bestie picks me up at the car place and I tell #him that and say he doesn’t have to stay and I can just wait there at the place if he’s busy but he says nah he gonna hang with me. asks if #I’m hungry and wanna get lunch and I hadn’t eaten yet so it worked out. went to the good Mexican place in town and order in their drive thru #I ask if he wants me to cash app him some money to cover my share and he very aggressively says ‘oh hell no’ which was honestly adorable and #really sweet. goes on to say ‘girl you know you don’t need to worry about money’ which is also super sweet and makes me feel all weird and #wiggly inside cause I’m not used to people being kind to me in that way or just buying me shit just because. and he’s always doing that kind #of stuff too just paying for my food or sending me money if I pick stuff up for us or whatever. dude got bucks at least good for him. but #yeah anyway so we got the food and then he went to a gas station to get us drinks then parked and ate and hung out with me until my car was #ready to go. even offered me money to cover the cost for the car if I needed anything major done and I could just pay him back little by #little. thankfully car is all good but his sentiment was well taken and much appreciated. gave me a big hug before we parted ways as he #usually does and bro gives the best hugs for real they’re so instantly comforting and you really feel the love they make me so happy. and he #even is gonna help me put together a new desk and chair at my house so I’ll have a place to do schoolwork at home and finally setup my tv in #my room. dude does so much for me and will then thank me just for hanging out with him as if I did anything special at all #this man deserves the whole fucking world and I’d do anything for him. love him so much #so ye that’s my hype post for my boy cause I just had to brag about him somewhere and get my feelings out #personal

[be-ready-when-i-say-go]

I wrote this the other idea. And then a thought happened.

Enjoy.

Gender Neutral Reader Insert

_____________________

“I’m going to take you out.”

You hum in response, pulling at the last part of the cardboard box. The tape snaps, a soft pfft echoing. You bought new curtains for the kitchen. It was premature given that the curtains would only really go once the backsplash was done and the cabinets repainted. Your delay for both of those was Calum. Though you had painted cabinets before while helping a friend move into their place, Calum insisted that the two of you be the ones that redid the kitchen. Not just you.

The project inevitably got delayed. Calum dragged his feet on nonessential things and with things slowly moving back to normal, he was busier than ever with the band. So you understood--that took priority over cosmetic changes to the house. And you know that you couldn’t nag him into doing anything. So you poked him in a different way, buying the kitchen curtains that would only sort of match with the rest of the kitchen. It wouldn’t bother him at first. It would take a couple of weeks before he sighed, pulled out his old t-shirts and the sandpaper and paint that you had already bought.

Calum hums in your ear. “What do you say? We dressed up fancy too.” He punctuates the end of his sentence with a kiss on your neck.

“Fancy? And go where?”

“Oh, that’s for you to decide.” He rests his chin on your shoulder, but you don’t miss the way his arms snake around your torso.

“When did you want to go? This evening?”

“No,” he says and then drags his lips up your skin. “Right now.”

You chuckle, though the end of it is interrupted by a sigh, the tingles running down your spine. “There’s nowhere fancy to go in the middle of the afternoon. And why fancy?”

“Because you have that outfit in the back of the closet and I think it’s time to break it out.”

You originally bought it for your anniversary with Calum two years ago. But the pandemic through a major wrench into the plan. That one passed and so did another and you weren’t sure when you’d be able to wear it ever. But couldn’t return it because you adored it too much.

His lips are hardly touching your skin, but you feel electric. “You know, we could just make this easy,” you return, pushing your hips back into his. “Besides, you said you were waiting on a call.”

His teeth nip at your skin and the heat of his breathe trails up to your ear. It doesn’t shock you when his tongue teases the shell of your ear, but it does make a warmth spread through your stomach. “I can take the call anywhere.”

“Then take it from the bedroom.”

Calum laughs before pulling away completely. “Oh, I absolutely could. But I want to take you out. Because I know this week I’ve been holed up with writing and you deserve more of my time. And we’re dressing up. And you’re going to think of the place right now.”

Without the pressure of his weight holding you to the counter and the warmth of his kisses, you can think a bit clearer. Somewhere fancy to go in the middle of the afternoon felt insane. You turn, using the completely deconstructed box as a shield. “You’re a dangerous man when you wanna be,” you tease.

He smiles, a bit of a blush taking over his cheeks as he leans into the counter next to you. He makes a show of holding his arms to his chest. “I can behave. When I wanna.”

“When you want is so important. But I don’t feel like I’m getting less time. I know this record’s taking some extra TLC.”

“And my darlin’ deserves some TLC too. So c’mon. It can be anywhere. We’re just getting fancy is all I’m asking.”

“The only thing I can think of is a museum? Contemporary Art?”

Gently taking one of your hands, Calum presses a chaste kiss to the back of it. “I’d be honored. I’ll hang these curtains and then get ready.”

“Thank you. I’ll take Duke out.”

He nods and watches you, eyes taking in the length of you. “And I know the curtains are you trying to get me moving faster about the rest of the kitchen.”

“The only thing about the kitchen I want to hear is if it’s on fire or if you’re planning a day to remodel it.”

Calum shakes his head with a hiccup of laughter coming from him. Of course, you would. Of course. He grabs the stepstool you keep between the fridge. It’s not long before he gets the curtains switched out--thankfully the ones you bought fit on the rod already installed. The scratch of Duke’s paws coming closer to the kitchen alert Calum that you’ve gotten back inside.

“What if we do the cabinets on Saturday?” he asks, hearing the fridge crack open. He shakes out some of the creases in the last curtain.

“I’ll be disturbing you bright and early then.”

“Sounds lovely,” he returns, stretching up just a little to get the first part of the curtain onto the rod. Just as he steps down, a cup settles onto the counter in front of him. Water by the looks of it in the glass and then your feet shuffle down the hardwood floors.

You and Calum manage to get finished at about the same time getting dressed. But it doesn’t get past you that a few buttons on his dress shirt are not all the way done as he moves to pass you to grab shoes from the closet. ��Sir, I don’t know what you’re playing, but those few buttons are playing with fire,” you tease getting the last of your outfit into place.

“Look who’s talking,” he laughs but steps back over to you. “Hmm, everyone warned me about you.”

“Warned you about me?” This is the first time you’re earring of anyone having a problem with you.

He nods. “They told me I’d fall in love.” The rapid rate of your heart starts to slow.

“Well, did you?”

“Do you not see me dressed to the nines just to take you out? I am whipped.”

Cupping his jaw, you press several chaste kisses to his lips. “Good. I ordered our tickets--so we don’t have to wait in any line.”

“Ah, I knew I found a good one. Thank you.”

“Uh-huh. You’re welcome.”

With Calum’s shoes on, and the tickets saved on your phone, the two of you head out. The drive to the museum feels much too short--between you belting out the songs on the radio and the laughter--you’re not even thinking about the fact that you’re about to head to an art museum dressed like you’d go to an award show with Calum. You hadn’t been to many of those, opting at the beginning of your relationship to hang back from that world.

“Why do this?” you ask softly right as the songs change. The radio host advertises something, you’re not sure what, but you can hear their voice excited as they talk.

Calum takes a brief second to glance at you. “What do you mean? I thought I answered that.”

“No, no, you did. But I don’t know. I’m just shocked.”

It goes silent for a moment. You hear the soft squeal of the tires and you know Calum should’ve taken his car to the shop a month ago, but again, he dragged his feet on some things. But you don’t think to say anything, not now at least.

“You mentioned it,” Calum starts, turning his gaze away from the red light. “When we first started dating, you mentioned that you wanted to get dressed up one day and just go somewhere--it didn’t matter where. But you wanted to go on a date and get fancy and go to a random place in the middle of the afternoon like it was a movie. And I thought and I thought and I even asked the guys where to take you but none of them knew. And then I had this whole plan for our anniversary to get dressed up and go the park. But I got scared and changed it to dinner because I didn’t want to ruin your fantasy. We have lists of them and we make them up all the time. But this one mattered.”

“They all matter. That’s why we create them, that’s why we write them down.”

“But this one mattered to you. There are plenty that we do together. But this one mattered specifically to you and I knew I couldn’t just give up on it.”

Your mouth hangs open for a second and then the car lurches forward, you fall back into the cushion of the seat just a hair but then regain your balance. “You told me once that you missed when you and your sister would sneak these biscuits after dinner. And your mother always knew you two were doing it. So I bought some and put them on the highest shelf. Because that’s where your stash is and I never wanted you to run out so every couple of weeks I do a second trip to the grocery store to buy them. And I’m not sure when you realized I was buying them because at one point there were two and three packages on that shelf, which I knew meant you didn’t know I was buying them. But now there’s only ever the package that I buy.”

“I’ve known for months now, love. I didn’t say anything but honestly, I liked it. But I will admit I’m shocked you didn’t stop once you realized it.”

“I kept doing it because I wanted to give you a tiny piece of home. It’s crazy I know. But I try.”

“I am home. With you.”

“I know, but like your childhood. The things that no one really knows but you and what you’ve decided to share with me. I want to bring that to you.”

“Baby, I-I don’t need that. I appreciate it. I know you feeding me until I become round is your love language but I am more than satisfied to create new things with you.”

“Your trainer cancels out all my attempts. You, sir, will keep your toned abs and biceps for at least another twenty years.”

“Only twenty?”

You laugh, leaning over the console to kiss his cheek. “Once you marry me, baby, you’re getting happy weight and I won’t stop.” The sentiment is punctuated with a pat to his stomach. The only thing Calum can do is laugh.

“I look forward to it.”

“Oh, so you agree, you are going to marry me?”

Calum never thought he’d get here. Not pulling into the parking lot of a museum with the love of his life, dressed in clothes he only really reserved for the stage, a heartbeat away from admitting, “Yes. I am agreeing that I am going to marry you.”

The moment lingers for a beat, then two and Calum’s heart is racing because this isn’t how he had planned on asking. Shit, he thought he’d need another six months before he’d have the guts to even admit it to the boys. But right now, it just feels so right to admit. Your arms are winding around his neck and he’s leaning as far as his still buckled seatbelt will allow him. And you’re kissing him and he’s inhaling your laughter. And somehow the most backward-ass things feel the best.

“You-I need to get you a ring. I was going to do this all differently,” Calum rushes out, holding onto your cheeks. His head shakes, eyes wide. “I swear I was going to do this all differently.”

Your smile is blurry in his vision. But he hears your laughter. “I don’t need it any other way.”

You wipe the tears from his cheeks. “Now, can we please go look at the pretty art with my soon-to-be husband on my arm?”

“Of course.”

The air of the museum is cold and it chills you for a second but it’s coupled with the fact that Calum’s thumb is stroking the back of your hand. The two of you glance at each other, wide grins and giggles falling from your lips. It’s a wonder, as the two of you stroll through the museum. You in front, gravitating towards the brighter works and Calum follows, your pinkies hooked together to keep you two from getting too separated from each other.

All he can do is stare, watch you and your ever-shifting gaze. You float over the floor of the museum as if your feet could never really fully touch the ground. And he’s powerless to it, the following the visible string pulling him to you. At your pause, Calum slides up behind you. His hands settle at your hips first briefly before he catches himself. “Yes, Cal?”

“Nothing.”

You cock your head to the side and then ever so slightly push back against his hips. “Just as I suspected. A lot of something. Approximately several inches in length.”

Calum barely holds the howl of his laughter in before spinning you around. “Do not ever--”

“Or what?” you ask.

“You know I’m not going ever taking you out in public again.”

You take a glance to the left and right, before slipping your hand between your bodies. You palm his length through his dress pants. “Oh what a shame,” you state and then step away to a sculpture.

Calum exhales hard at the action and takes a moment to steel himself before following after you. The teasing continues on back and forth, him passing in front of you and feeling you over the material of your clothes, gently brushing his hands on the back of your neck.

Calum moves to another room and you watch him go for a minute before following behind him. The shivers of his still nibbles on his ears rocked you more than you anticipated. Sliding up behind him, you encase your arms around his torso. “You sir, are just begging for us to get kicked out.”

His small chuckle is interrupted by the buzz of his phone. Calum reaches into his pocket and sees the numbers. He glances around and slides to answer the call. “Calum speaking,” he whispers. You step away and point out a sign pointing to some restrooms. Calum smiles at you, kissing your forehead, and then heads over that way.

You wait in the same area, not wanting to go too far in case the call is quick. You take your time looking at each piece in the room. It feels long but then you can hear the clack of dress shoes on the floor and turn to the sound of it. Calum returns, his face a little pensive.

“Everything okay?”

“Yeah, yeah, just--uh.”

“We can go if you need to. Is it work?”

“It’s just bullshit. Something bout a demo needing to be recorded. And I don’t--this is important to you. I don’t want to ruin that.”

“One more room and then we can go back home.”

He takes your hands. “If we do one more room, I won’t have time to take you back home. I’m sorry.”

“Well, our fridge magnet collection needs another one. And I don’t mind if you have to drive to the studio and then I’ll take an Uber or something back home.”

“Or you could stay with me?”

“I’m not about to make life harder. C’mon. We got a fridge magnet to obtain.”

The gift shop is hardly busy. Calum takes a second to text the guys that he’ll be over to the studio soon. It’s not hard for you to pick a magnet. But you look at the postcards, all the colors. “Grab a handful, love. I see you eyeing them.”

You pick up a few and then head to the register. Calum seems to be distracted by something, but you don’t think too much of it as you pay. Especially since he seems to slide up right behind you. At the front of the shop, Calum warns it’ll be a bit of a drive so you scurry to the restroom.

The sun’s brighter than you anticipated and you squint against the sun as you walk back out into the parking lot. As you slide into the truck, you toss the magnet and card onto the back seats, on the blanket Duke lays on. And then another small bag lands on your lap. “What’s this?”

Calum says nothing as he buckles in.

“Oh don’t get all silent on me. Don’t you fucking dare.” You turn the back upside down and a box lands into your lap. Your heart races and then you realize it’s too small to be a ring box though it could be the right size. “Calum,” you sigh and crack it open. A small enamel pin stares back up at you. You laugh.

“You got me good that time.”

“I’ll do one better when it’s an actual ring.”

“I like gold,” you tell him, taking his hand gently and kisses the back of it.

“Trust, I am well aware.”

#calum hood fic #5sos #calum hood #5 seconds of summer #h writes #5sos fanfic #calum hood fanfic #5sos fic #calum hood 5sos #calum hood x reader

[dumdumsun]

Forever and Never

A/N: I did it again, @moatsnow! I’m vvv sorry hun 🥺❤️

Warnings: ⚠️rape⚠️, mentions of alcohol and marijuana

Word Count: 5014

—————————————

Four: Good For Me

“So, Richard seemed to have been this… distraction. Because being around Stanley made you feel less than, but Richard admired you. You had no faults when you were with him. So, what made you end it? Did something else happen?”

“Yeah… The next day was his birthday.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

He’d been texting me all morning. From the moment I opened my eyes, all throughout breakfast, as I took a shower and got dressed. Wasn’t it his birthday? Didn’t he have preparations to go through for his party that night? Of course, I wished him a happy birthday and assured him that I would attend his party. I figured I might as well buy him a present, since most people would only show up to eat food and get drunk. He probably wouldn’t have been receiving many gifts.

As I descended the stairs, I heard Pam and David rushing around the house. “We’re gonna be late, David!”

“I’m aware!”

“Where are the keys?!”

“In your hand!”

I chuckled and leaned against the railing. “What’s going on?”

David turned towards me and sighed. “It’s Jacob’s presentation today, remember? He’s doing that sort of TED Talk thing at school?”

“Oh, yeah… Well, I’m not gonna be able to go, I’d be late to Ricky’s party by the time we got back.”

“Shit, that’s right… I completely forgot about errands as well. It’s our only free day.” He ran his hands through his hair. I perked up and walked the rest of the way down.

“I can do it. I’ll already be out, buying a present for Ricky.”

“Are you sure, sweetheart?” Pam joined the conversation as she and David approached the front door. I nodded with a smile.

“Yeah, it’ll… give me something to do today.”

Pam gave me that same bittersweet smile she usually did before enveloping me in a hug. “You’re so perfect, (Y/N)...”

“Uh… thanks.” My brows furrowed as she pulled away. I looked to my uncle for any clue as to why she suddenly became so sentimental, but he avoided my gaze, muttering something about wanting me to be safe before walking out of the house. “Are you guys okay?”

“Yeah, baby, we’re fine. You be safe today. Don’t get so drunk that you can’t walk straight. And stay the night at Dina’s, if you can!” She called out as she left out the door. I only nodded my head in response, slowly closing the door after her. My phone vibrated in my pocket, so I fished it out to see yet another text.

Ricky: Do you wanna come over and spend the day with me?

I cringed and rolled my eyes. Wasn’t me coming to his party enough? Shaking my head, I replied to him.

Me: I’m actually booked until the party. Lots of errands to run for my aunt and uncle

To be truthfully honest, I just needed to go grocery shopping and stop by the bookstore to pick up Pam’s order. It would only have taken me about an hour at most to complete my tasks. Did Ricky need to know this? Not at all. Tucking my phone back into my pocket, I snatched the grocery list from the fridge and began my quest for the day.

It hadn’t actually registered in my mind that I would need a car for the day. Our list was pretty long, which left me with armfulls of paper grocery bags, my aunt’s book tucked into my jacket pocket located on the inside. I could hardly see over the tops of the bags, but navigated myself all the way towards the diner before I heard a car pull up beside me. I turned my head to see Stan, giving me a goofy grin, eyes shielded by his sunglasses. He reached over to open the passenger door from the inside. “Hey, there, lovely.”

“Good morning there, beautiful.” I chuckled, opening his back door to store my bags in his seats before climbing into the passenger seat beside him. “Thanks so much.”

“It’s my pleasure,” He tilted his head as if he just winked, but it wasn’t like I could’ve seen it. “So, you’re shopping for Aunt Pam?”

“Uh, yeah. Jake had a presentation at his school today and I… had things to do already. So, why not? Might as well do something for them,” I explained as he began driving again. Down the road, I spotted two familiar figures exiting the diner. “Oh, is that Sydney? And her brother?”

“Indeed, it is.” Stan grinned as he turned the corner. His car pulled over towards them, Sydney’s brother excitedly pointing us out. She turned to the car with pursed lips. I turned down the music as Stan reached over to roll down the window, the glass creaking at its usual agonizingly slow pace. I visibly cringed as Sydney gave a painful smile. Once it was down just enough, Stan nodded towards her. “Hey.”

“Hey.” Her smile turned a bit more genuine. Her brother, who introduced himself as Liam, greeted both Stan and I before we all shifted into an awkward silence. Thankfully, Stan broke it after a couple of beats.

“So, it’s good to see you again.”

“Yeah,” Sydney giggled, and I detected a hint of anxiety. “Yeah, you, too.”

“So, do you wanna,” Stan pushed his sunglasses to sit in his curls. “Do you wanna, like, do somethin’ later tonight or somethin’?”

Sydney opened her mouth, closed it, and opened it again, all while Stan held his glowing smile. What the hell was going on? “You know, I would, but Dina and I are going to Ricky Berry’s party.”

“No shit? I’ll be there, too.” Stan excitedly sat up.

“Oh, you will?”

“Yeah.”

“Ah. Okay, right,” She chuckled. Anyone around could tell that Sydney was clearly uncomfortable, except for Stan. He was on top of the world, it seemed. “So, I guess I’ll see you there. And we gotta go. Right now.” She quickly ushered her brother down the road. I leaned towards my window and giggled into my hand. Stan slowly slipped his sunglasses back on, muttering a ‘cool’, which only caused me to laugh harder.

“Okay, what the hell is going on between you two?”

Stan gave me a look, or what I assumed was a look, as he continued towards our houses. “What? What are you talking about?”

“What’s going on with you and Syd? And don’t say nothing. You’re literally glowing right now.”

“Okay, okay,” He cleared his throat. “So, last night… we, um… Well, we may or may not have had sex.”

I hoped he hadn’t noticed me hesitate. My brain short circuited and my throat constricted. “O-Oh, really? Like, last night-last night?”

“Yeah, last night-last night.”

“Gross.” I lightly joked and Stan rolled his head towards me with a sly smirk. Chuckling, he looked back towards the road.

“Anyway, I assume you’re going to the party, too? Since you’re Ricky’s little homecoming date now.”

My eyes widened. “You saw it, too?!”

“Everyone saw it, Nugget. ‘The Power Couple’ or whatever they said.” He shook his head.

“Ugh, we are not a couple and I do not want to go to homecoming with him!”

“Then why’d you say yes?!”

“Because everyone was there! They planned the whole thing and my brain just thought to say yes!” I buried my head in my hands. I heard Stan coo from beside me with a small tut.

“My poor little Nugget. I should’ve asked you out before Ricky could.”

I peeked up at him with a warm smile. “Nah, it’s okay. It’s just homecoming, I’m not marrying him. Besides you should ask out Sydney, anyway.”

“Oh, that is the plan.” He grinned.

When we arrived at my house, I got out to carry in the bags, but I heard Stan turn off the car and exit as well. He joined me in retrieving the bags from the seats and waited patiently for me to unlock the front door. Once we were inside, we headed straight for the kitchen and set the bags on the table.

“It’s been awhile since I’ve been inside here,” He commented, looking around the house with a soft smile. I hummed in agreement before our gazes met. “Does your bedroom still look the same?”

The feeling that swept through my soul as I watched Stan excitedly explore my bedroom was a feeling I’d never felt before, but never wanted to leave. He marveled at all of the little trinkets displayed on my shelves, my organized bookshelf, the board above my desk filled with every pin I’ve ever collected. But what had him giddy and pumping his fist in the air was the Bloodwitch poster on my door. “Ah, I knew it! You knew all of the words to Hey Little Girl! You used to hate that song!”

“I don’t have to like the song to know all the words, all you play is Bloodwitch!” I laughed. He pointed towards me as if to say ‘don’t deny it’. I deflated. “Okay, yeah, I finally got into Bloodwitch. I guess it was… just something to remind me of you.”

I nervously stuffed my hands into the pockets of my jeans as Stan slowly lowered his arm, his expression softening. His stance stuttered, like he had stopped himself from doing or saying something instinctive, before scoffing.

“Yeah, well, the school’s horrible plays are what reminded me of you.” He rolled his eyes, receiving a light slap to the arm from me. Once Stan left for his own home, I returned to the kitchen to put the food away in their respective places. I made sure to put David’s cookies in his ‘secret’ compartment within the pantry. I knew he’d appreciate it since Jacob always found them if they weren’t stored correctly. I quietly giggled to myself, thinking back to a time when Jacob swore up and down that he hadn’t eaten the cookies. In fact, I remember correctly that we both had eaten them and he was just trying to cover for the both of us. We were caught the next day and forced to sit through a fifteen minute lecture on respecting our elders and the importance of privacy.

I nearly forgot about Pam’s book, but I remembered as I passed her bedroom door. Slipping it out of my pocket, I entered her room. There were shoes scattered across the floor and the bed was unmade, no doubt from her rushing around earlier. Knowing that she’d check her dresser, I set her book just there. However, I noticed a small, rectangular beige box already sitting there. I would have left it alone until I saw my name written on it. My hand reached out to pick up the box, but I stopped. It’s probably a present, I thought. I shouldn’t open it until it’s given to me. So, with a small hum of uncertainty, I left the bedroom.

Contrary to popular belief, I actually have a pretty simplistic fashion sense. It was nowhere near as bold as Stan’s, and I suppose that’s why we were seen as an odd pair, but I had just a bit more flare than my fellow peers. Everyone was just a copy-and-paste version of each other. They wore the same skinny jeans, the same fitted shirts, the same sneakers. While I never wore bright yellows and greens, I still hadn’t conformed to the everyday go-to fashion line that was their “hot” or “cute”. Besides, Brownsville was so boring, everything and everyone there was so one-dimensional. It only made sense that their choice in clothing was the same. What I’m trying to say is that people thought I had a bold fashion sense because I simply dressed differently, but it was simply how we dressed in my hometown in Kansas. I think Stan would have fit in at home.

I was a back-and-forth routine from my dresser to my bed, texting Dina as I readied myself for Ricky’s party that night. Apparently, she had Sydney over at her house, the two getting ready together. I didn’t have a problem with it, as long as Dina was still picking me up. She informed me that she had just gotten Syd into a cute top that would show more skin than she usually did. Despite not really being her friend, knowing that Sydney was leaving her comfort zone, as small of a step as it was, had me smiling at my phone, However, that smile dropped at the next text Dina sent.

Dina: Omg you HAVE to look cute for Ricky tonight

I rolled my eyes so hard it hurt.

Me: I don’t get dressed up for boys anymore. I do it for myself

And it was true. When Ricky and I dated, I felt as though I had to look the part of the trophy he presented to everyone. I wore clothes I normally didn’t, I wore more makeup, smiled more. Even if they were faked. I didn’t like it. I didn’t like pretending, but Ricky didn’t seem to mind. He’d simply point out that he “liked the new look”. Well, I’ve changed. My half year solitude in Kansas taught me self-awareness, and I became aware that I am fucking hot. So, I did look cute that night, but not for Ricky. I did it for my own pleasure. And I hoped they all liked the new look.

Of course, my go-to bottoms were black high-waisted jeans that stopped just above my navel, paired with a red long-sleeved crop top. To match, I added in little black and red clips in my hair and dusted black eyeshadow on my lids. Afterwards, I stepped in front of my mirror to admire my work. I remember my mom telling me when I was young that looking in the mirror will tell you everything you hope to see in yourself, and I agree with that to some extent. But looking at myself in that moment told me that, despite how shitty I felt on a daily basis, I was more than deserving of reveling in my new adaptation. I wasn’t at my happiest, and lord knows I’m still screwed up, but at least I knew who I was. I wasn’t some angry, emotional ball of anxiety, deprived of parental love. Yes, I was turned away from my father more than ever at that point, but I had realized where all the love for me resided. I was someone’s daughter, someone’s sister, someone’s best friend.

Someone’s girlfriend.

Or whatever the hell we were supposed to be.

Hearing my phone ping, I picked it up and read the text from Dina.

Dina: We’re here

Tucking my phone into my pocket, I slipped on some white sneakers and grabbed Ricky’s present off my vanity before dashing downstairs. I opened the door to find Dina and Sydney standing together on my doorstep. Upon seeing me, their jaws dropped. “Whoa, you look… hot.” Syd raised her brows, and I couldn’t help but smile at her approval. Dina chuckled and nodded.

“Yeah, (Y/N), you always seem to surprise us…”

“I try my best.” I stepped out of the house and locked the front door before facing the two. “Let’s party, shall we?”

-------------------------------------------------

Music thumped from the inside of the house as we approached the driveway, some party goers trickling inside. Sydney, Dina and I all stopped in the middle of the driveway, staring up at Ricky’s house. The two seemed excitedly anxious, but I felt as if I was going to hurl my guts up. The last time I had been in that house wasn’t the most pleasurable experience.

He can’t and won’t do that to you again, (Y/N).

What I would give to go back in time to warn her.

“Shit…” Sydney breathed.

“Okay, I’m scared, but fun scared,” Dina nodded, glancing between me and Syd. “Like we’re about to skydive for the first time or something.”

“Well, I’m not fun scared.” Syd turned her gaze back to the house.

“Me neither…” My voice was just above a whisper.

“Feels like we’re about to be eaten by wolves, like… really drunk, judgemental wolves.”

A moment of silence for all confidence lost.

“We’re gonna be fine,” Dina decided. “I just wish I could inject vodka directly into my veins first.”

“I do have this.” Syd smiled and pulled out a flask. Dina and I grinned before the former took it from her best friend. She took a hearty gulp from the flask before handing it over to me. Not wanting to get too drunk just yet, I took a few sips and handed the flask back to its owner. Once we were fueled up, we headed inside. I’d spent so many hours in Ricky’s house, but so few of those hours were spent partying. The most people I’d seen in his home were about six, including me. That was when he brought me over for dinner the first time and both his older brothers attended. What a waste that dinner was. I led the two up the stairs, kindly waving at my peers who called out to me. Most of them complimented my outfit, to which I quietly thanked. As we entered the main room, the volume of the music and the voices increased so that I was swimming in my surroundings.

“Dina!” I heard Ricky call out. The three of us turned to the birthday boy as he approached us. “Welcome to the madness!”

“Hey.” Dina smiled. His eyes then slid over to me, his own smile brightening.

“And Zip… God, you look great. Really great.”

“Thanks, Ricky. Happy birthday.” I nodded before letting him pull me into his side. I placed a hand on his chest to steady myself as his head turned to Sydney, as if she’d just walked in and didn’t appear with us.

“Hey. Hey. Oh, gosh, don’t tell me. I know it. I know this one.” He acted as if he were trying so hard to remember his own classmate’s name. I rolled my eyes and removed my hand from his chest. Sydney slowly nodded her head, giving him just a bit more time to “think” before answering.

“Sydney.”

“Right! I thought it started with an S, yeah. Well, you guys go enjoy, alright? Zip, why don’t you come and party with me?”

“Oh, well, um…,” My gaze shifted from Ricky’s smile to Dina’s slight frown. Sighing, I gestured for the two to go. “I’ll find you guys later. Have fun.”

“You, too.” They replied simultaneously before Ricky pulled me away to a group of friends. As we walked, I handed the little box over to him.

“Got you something.”

“Awe, babe, you shouldn’t have.” He lightly laughed and took the box into his hands. His eyes widened when he opened it to reveal a gold watch he’d been talking about for awhile. He claimed his father wouldn’t let him buy it because Ricky needed to stop spending so much money on himself. It wasn’t very expensive, so I thought it’d be as good a present as any. With child-like giddiness, he slapped the watch onto his wrist before kissing my cheek. “(Y/N), you are the most thoughtful girl in this world.”

Why did my heart skip a beat? “It was nothing, Ricky… You always go all-out for me, so…” There was no part of me that actually liked Ricky. Remember that. I think the liquor from earlier had just gotten to me. With a soft sigh, he hugged me from behind and walked me to a nearby table where boxes of pizza were displayed.

“You hungry?”

“I am, actually…”

My time spent at Ricky’s party felt as if I were on a mission. Mission Ignore Ricky. He was attached to me the whole time, arm around the bare of my waist, around my shoulders. It was like he needed to be certain that I was still there. That he could still look at me. Everytime I tried to go and find Syd and Dina, he pulled me right back into his side. My only solution was to drink heavily. Whenever someone offered to refill my cup, I accepted. If someone handed over a can of beer, I took it. A shot? Hell yes, count me in! Anything to drown out the sound of his voice in my ears. I’m not a lightweight, so it takes awhile for my haze to kick in. When it did, I was a smiling mess, nodding along to everything everyone said. In my underwater state, I could faintly make out Ricky referring to me as his girlfriend in conversations with his friends. With a grunt, I lazily slapped his shoulder, eliciting laughter amongst them. Within ten minutes, a Rick Springfield song that everyone collectively liked started up in the speakers. We all cheered and began dancing. I happily laughed as Ricky rested his hands on my hips, the two of us grooving to the music. He shook his head as he marveled at my drunken state.

“I’ve missed this…”

“Getting drunk?”

“No. Your smile. Your laugh,” He leaned forward. “I’ve missed you.”

“That’s so… poetic.” I whispered, causing a quiet laugh to escape his throat. My eyes slid to the right to find Stan. My breathing quickened at the sight of him in a baby blue suit, sitting alone on a couch with Dina and Syd dancing together in front of him. How I wished to be over there… Especially when he looked up and locked eyes with mine. All of the air in my lungs was kicked out at the relieved smile he gave me, and I breathed out in the same emotion. He’s here…

Ricky suddenly looked up over my head, an even wider smile stretching across his face. “Bra-a-ad! You made it!” He exclaimed and walked the both of us over to his best friend. The two high-fived as I blinked rapidly, as if I’d sober up from it.

“Dude, I had to come,” Brad smiled before his attention moved to me. “Zip, hey!”

“Hey.”

“Did you come here with Dina?”

“Yeah, yeah, she’s… um, dancing or something.” I giggled. Brad nodded with a raised brow.

“Someone’s been havin’ fun, huh?” He chuckled before I felt Ricky turn away.

“Hey, everyone! Bradley Lewis in the house!” He announced, cheers erupting from the party participants. They all cheered for a speech, which I found unnecessary, but leaned my head on Ricky’s shoulder as I listened to Brad quiet everyone.

“Eighteen years and nine months ago today, George Reginald Berry and his sweet wife Carol-”

“That’s not their names.” Ricky shook his head in amusement, everyone quietly laughing with him.

“They were drinkin’ a little bit of pinot grig’, and they were blastin’ some Neil Diamond. And then nine months later, Richard “Dickwad” Berry was born. And thank god for that because the Berrys’ birthday parties are the fucking best! To Ricky, everybody!”

With the cheers that followed, I found it to be my perfect time for escape. I slipped away from Ricky and squeezed through countless bodies to reach the back door. Stumbling outside, I caught myself on the railing towards the stairs that led off the deck. With difficulty, my wobbly legs took me down to the side of the house, where my hero was leaning against, readying a joint. There was no doubt my ceaseless giggling was what attracted his attention. He chuckled and watched as I stumbled towards him, falling into his side. Stan wrapped an arm around me as I laughed.

“Hey, there, lovely.”

“Hi, beautiful.” I grinned up at him, eyes half lidded. His brows drew down for a moment before he remembered his occupied hand. Removing his arm from around me, he took out his lighter, setting a flame to the end of his joint. I watched in fascination as he inhaled the smoke with closed eyes. His curls sat on his forehead, his lips pursed around the joint, his other arm made its way around my shoulders again. I rested my chin on his shoulder before he passed the smoke to me. I happily took a hit and let the peaceful silence fall between us for the five seconds that it lasted.

“So, you and Ricky… How’s that going?”

“How’s what going?” I mumbled.

“You know, you guys dating. It’s what he’s telling everyone.”

“Oh, my god, I knew he was telling everyone!” I groaned and ran a hand over my face. “I’m so sick of that. He can’t just... f-fucking, um… fucking lie to everyone like that! We are not dating, we’ve never even talked about it! What the hell, dude… I don’t even get why he’s so in love with me, Stan…”

He didn’t reply at first, but when I looked up, I realized it was because he was smoking. When he pulled the joint from his lips, he stared forward. “I mean, he’s got someone amazing, if you guys were actually dating. Believe it or not, (Y/N), you’re the coolest person I’ve ever met. And you’re fun and humorous and so driven. You’ve got these huge dreams and you’ll follow every single one of them… I’d be pretty proud if you were my girlfriend,” The second he looked down at me, I giggled loudly. He blushed and moved his eyes to the side. “I-I’m- I’m serious!”

Elevating myself with my toes, I closed the gap between us in a sloppy kiss. I could taste the alcohol on his lips and I was sure he could taste the same on mine. My hands reached up and placed themselves on his cheeks. I felt him lean more into the kiss for a second before he quickly ripped himself away, as if he were just burned. He blinked over and over as I tried to settle my blurry vision on him. Shaking his head, he sighed.

“(Y/N), you’re drunk.”

“I’m drunk.”

“Yeah, we can’t do this.” He seemed to be telling himself more than to me. I pouted and loosely wrapped my arms around him.

“I love you, Stan…”

“I love you, too, but I think you should get inside and find Dina.” He ushered me to the stairs and watched as I carefully planted my foot on the first step.

“Okay… I’m sorry, Stan.”

“You’re fine, I promise.”

“Okay. I’m gonna go inside, okay? You’re gonna be okay out here by yourself, okay? Okay?” I widened my eyes when he didn’t immediately answer. He let out a short laugh and turned me around again.

“Alright, go inside and find Dina.”

“‘Kay. I love you, Stan.”

“I love you, too. I’m gonna stand here and watch you go.”

“Have fun.” I sang and ungracefully made my way up the stairs and back inside the house.

Apologizing to the many people I bumped into, I found myself in the hallway, in between the bedrooms. My head felt like it weighed tons, my eyes wanted to close so badly. I felt a hand on my shoulder and leaned into the body behind me.

“There you are. I’ve been looking for you.”

My head whirled around to find Ricky behind me. I felt myself deflate in disappointment. “Hey, Ricky…”

“Where’ve you been, babe?”

“Oh, I was talking to my friend outside.” I grinned at the thought of Stan. Ricky raised a brow in amusement and I quickly covered my mouth as to not let the moment between Stan and I slip out. His dark brown orbs flickered between me and the door behind me before he gently took hold of my arm.

“Let’s go somewhere private, okay?”

“Okay.” I whispered, allowing him to guide me wherever. Before I knew it, we were in a room. I heard the click of a lock from behind before Ricky was suddenly in front of me. My head swam as I surveyed my surroundings, quickly realizing we were in his bedroom. “Oh, what are we doing?”

“Shh, shh, don’t worry about it.” He whispered. I hummed a little tune as I felt his hands move to my exposed skin, tracing little shapes. He littered my jaw in small kisses as he discarded my top. I shivered and wrapped my arms around my torso for warmth.

“Ricky, what are we doing?” I repeated as he popped the button of my jeans loose. Gasping, I moved his hands away. “No, no… I don’t want to…” I weakly protested.

“No, it’s okay, babe, it’s okay.” He shushed me. I felt myself fall back into his cool bed sheets. I blinked slowly. Once, his ceiling. Twice, his ceiling. Thrice, him. He was on top of me, my pants were gone, and his hands were travelling places I never wanted them to be. I let out a whine of protest, but he clearly took it as pleasure.

“Ricky…” I sighed out as his finger hooked under my bra strap. “Don’t… Stop…” I squirmed under him, both my stupor and high clouding my consciousness.

I don’t remember it. I don’t remember how it felt. I just didn’t like it. I didn’t like Ricky.

Sunlight pierced my eyelids as I felt warm lips on my forehead. I opened my eyes to find Ricky, fully dressed in different clothing than I last saw him in. He was holding out a glass of water and a couple pills. “For your head.”

“My head?” I whined, but hissed right when a splitting headache spread across my skull. I sat up, holding my head. My body was suddenly freezing cold and when I went to wrap my arms around myself, I saw that I was bare. Gasping, I clutched Ricky’s covers over me. “Oh, my god…”

“Yeah,” Ricky chuckled and set the medicine down. “We were so drunk last night… Anyway, I wanna take you out for brunch, so you should start getting ready. You can wear my clothes, babe.” He spoke as he headed out of the room, closing the door behind him. My eyes travelled to my undergarments on the floor not too far from the bed.

Fuck.

—————————————

Taglist: @melinda-hargreeves @sapphicsyn @stqnley @lonely-kermit @juliet-does-not-give-a-fuck @moatsnow

#i am not okay with this #ianowt #ianowt x reader #stanley barber #stanley barber x reader #wyatt oleff #wyatt oleff x reader #i am not okay with this x reader #ianowt fanfic #ianowt stanley barber #forever and never

[myhockeyworld87]

Not So Dangerous Liaison - Sidney Crosby - Part 15

Word Count: 2,842

POV: Reader

Warnings: Language, NSFW, Smut

Notes: Here we are with the next installment. As always feedback is welcome. Also still looking for candidates for thirst night if anyone wants one.

Not So Dangerous Liaison Masterlist

The following morning, much to Sid's dismay, you were up and out of bed early. You had to be at the arena early to help with the parade organization. It was a complete whirlwind until Sid got there and then he literally picked you up and tossed you into the back of the pickup he was riding in. The streets of Pittsburgh were lined with so many people. They were hanging out of building windows and off of parking garages. The whole experience was completely surreal.

 You were sitting on the edge of the pickup with Taylor, laughing and just taking everything in, while Sid stood holding the cup, and waving to everyone. Halfway through the parade, he hauled you up beside him, one hand on your waist. "This is unbelievable isn't it?" He shouted to you above the cheers.

 "It really is." You tried to pull away to go sit back down, not wanting to take the attention away from him, but he held you close.

 "Relax and enjoy the moment (Y/N). I didn't get to share this with you on the ice, let me at least do it now." His eyes stared intently at you, leaving you no choice but to nod before his lips captured yours. The crowd cheered even louder, for Sid was always so intensely private, that they felt like they were getting a glimpse into his personal life; which they were. However, it made you blush profusely.

 You hung off to the side with his family as all the players went up on stage. The celebration seemed to go by in a flash. One minute they were calling each of the guys up and the next minute Phil Borque was telling everyone they were going to take the cup to the river and party all summer, to which the enthusiastic crowd just got louder. You insisted on staying to help afterward, even though Sid pouted. Reluctantly, he went home with his parents after you promised to head to his house immediately afterward.

 Dinner that evening wasn't an elaborate affair. It was just the five of you ordering takeout, so you could plan out the rest of the summer. A brief conversation earlier in the day with Mario, confirmed that Sid was correct and you literally could spend most of the summer anywhere you wanted. You and Sid decided to head up to Canada in two weeks. He had locker cleanout in a few days, then you needed to be in town for the draft, as you'd be showing the newcomers around Pittsburgh. You tried to insist that he head up to Cole Harbour without you, but he wouldn't even discuss it. With most of June gone by then, you felt as if you were taking what little summer he had away from him. He brushed past your objections and moved on to going to Europe. At the end of the night, the entire summer was mapped out, and you felt as though you'd be living out of your suitcases until September, which really wasn't much of a difference to what your life had been like the last several months.

 Hours later you were climbing into bed with Sid, exhausted from the day. Surprisingly, he'd actually accepted your no sex rule while the parents were in the house that night. It somewhat shocked you, considering how the night before had gone. "I think I can wait the twelve hours until their gone." He chuckled as he wrapped you in his arms and drew you near.

 "Interesting, since you couldn't last night." You chirped him.

 "Full disclosure," he said, his hand idly rubbing circles at your hip. "I missed hearing you moan out my name last night." The sentiment was sweet and sexy all at the same time.

 "Really?"

 "Mmm," he hummed out, pecking your lips. "I plan on making up for it the minute they head out the driveway." It was your turn to laugh only to have his mouth cover yours, in a kiss that stole your breath away and had you moaning into him. "Fuck, baby I was going to be good tonight, but then you go and do that."

 "If I'm too much of a temptation maybe I should head home." You teased.

 The hand on your hip pulled you in closer so that no space separated the two of you. "Don't even think about it. Now go to sleep woman before I can't control myself." He kissed you one last time before you both closed your eyes. If you were being honest, you found it hard to fall asleep. It was as if your body was aware of every detail of the man next to you. His hand on your hip felt warm, where it laid and you could feel the gentle rise and fall of his chest. Your hand unconsciously moved up and down his back feeling the muscles there, while your legs were pressed up against his thighs. You willed your mind to think of anything but the man beside you. In the end, you started making a mental list of all the things you needed to do before leaving for Cole Harbour.

 There were tons of work-related items that needed to be done, as Mario had put you in charge of overseeing the construction of the temporary players' house, he was having built. It was one of the suggestions you'd originally given to him when he hired you. Though in truth you hadn't meant for him to build a house, just maybe get a couple apartments downtown or something. But when he came to you, after buying a piece of property near the practice arena, you had to admit you were excited. Before you knew it, you were picking out designs and hiring contractors all during playoffs. With construction already in progress, there were dozens of things you needed to see to before heading off.

 Thankfully, thoughts of tile patterns and kitchen cupboards put your restless body to sleep, for the next thing you knew, morning light was streaming through the window. "Morning, baby," Sid whispered as you peeked your eyes open.

 "Mmm, what time is it?"

 "Almost eight. I think my parents are awake. I can smell the coffee." He smirked at you before capturing your lips with his and kissing you awake. You had to admit, you could get used to waking up like this every morning. His erection pressed into you and you pulled back from the kiss to see where his thoughts were. "Sorry babe, I can't help what you do to me."

 "Well, only a few hours and you have me all to yourself."

 Sid groaned before rolling onto his back and staring at the ceiling. "You're killing me. You know that right?" You simply hummed your agreement for he wasn't the only one suffering here.

 "Come on, let's get up and head down." He groaned some more but followed your downstairs where you spent the next couple hours with his family. All three of them hugged you goodbye, saying they couldn't wait to see you in a couple weeks, before heading out to the airport. You and Sid stood in the driveway waving goodbye as they headed out. True to his word, the minute the car was out of the driveway, Sid turned you into his arms. His hands grabbing your ass and hauling you up so that you had no choice but to wrap your legs around him. "What are you doing?"

 "Taking you back inside where I can ravish you." He stopped and looked down at you midway to the door. "Unless you just want me to take you here outside."

 "Sidney!"

 "Is that a yes or a no? I can't tell." He chuckled, before heading into the house.

 "Put me down before you hurt yourself." He gave you that incredulous look as if he didn't lift three hundred pound weights daily.

 "I won't hurt myself; you hardly weigh anything." He stated as you made your way to the kitchen. "But…" He stopped and leaned you against the island, where you gave him a questioning look. "I've always wanted to…" He suggestively raised his eyebrows.

 You caught on to his meaning. "Here? In the kitchen?" An innocent look crossed his face, and it was cute to see the blush that stained his cheeks as he nodded yes.

 "Unless you don't want to?" Your whole relationship with Sidney was new, including your sex life. So you thought it was cute that he gave you the choice. You locked your lips with his by way of answer, opening immediately for him to plunder inside you. He pressed you against the counter harder, as he ground his hard length against your clothed core. The friction felt delicious, however, you wanted more. You wanted his length buried deep inside you. He sensed your needs and set you on the counter, mouth still fused with yours; as his hands snuck down to your waistband. You lifted your hips up so he could slide your clothes off. Spreading your legs, he stepped inside, as he undid the button of his fly.

 You broke the kiss to shuck off the shirt you'd had on, tossing it to the ground. His pants were down around his ankles and he kicked them off to the side, before trailing his fingers down your body to your pussy. "Fuck, baby, you're dripping."

 "I want you, Sid." You breathed out unashamed that your body had been thinking of this moment for quite some time. He moved, so that his cock was positioned at your entrance, but then he stopped and you whined.

 "Shit," He swore, and the next thing you knew he was searching for where he had tossed his pants. You gave him a confused look, as he retrieved the condom from his back pocket, things finally clicking into place. "Sorry babe, you make me forget things sometimes." As he rolled the condom on, you took a moment to appreciate his body, at least from the waist down as he hadn't taken the time to remove his shirt yet. His muscular thighs just set your body to flames, and your mind drifted to riding them only at the moment you really wanted Sidney inside you.

 "So I take it you were planning the whole kitchen thing?" You asked as he shifted you closer to the edge.

 "Well, I wasn't sure we'd make it to the bedroom." A giggle escaped your lips only to be replaced by a moan as he nudged the head of his cock inside you. "Is this what you want, baby?" You groaned out a yes, as he slowly slid inside you. Your legs wrapped around his waist and soon he was lifting you off the counter, taking all of your weight as he thrust in and out of your pussy. His lips sucked that tender spot on your neck and you held his mouth close to you knowing that there would be a mark there later, but not caring. Your back hit the edge of the counter as he thrust into you, causing you to arch into his arms. Reaching back, you held onto the counter as he continued to pound your pussy.

 "Fuck Sidney, you feel so good," you moaned out as he that spot inside you that made you shiver. His mouth moved down to nibble on your breast, and you could feel your body humming with delight in every move that he made. With a few more thrusts, your orgasm hit you and you were spasming around him. "Sid!" You screamed out, yet he continued to pump in and out of you. Before you knew what was happening you climaxing again, and then Sid followed you, pushing you hard up against the counter so that is was biting into your back, though you didn't mind the pain.

 "Shit, babe. I'm sorry," he huffed out when he saw you wincing in pain.

 "I'm good." Sid carried you through the kitchen, and into the family room, laying you down on the couch.

 "Better?"

 "Yeah."

 "Be right back," he slid the condom off and went to dispose of it; coming back with a wet cloth to clean you up. He collapsed on the couch beside you then curling you into him while grabbing a blanket to cover you both up. "Are you sure I didn't hurt you?" He peppered kisses along your neck and shoulders.

 "I'll be fine." You relaxed deeper into his chest and his arms came around your midsection to snuggle you close. Words hovered on both of your lips but yet neither of you spoke them, though you could feel them in the way he held you and touched you as if you were something that needed to be treasured. You hoped that you made him feel the same.

 The week past pretty much the same way. There were tons of sex, in every room of his house and there were a lot of rooms. You'd even managed to make it to your place a few times, though you'd always end up back at his. Once the draft took place, the Pens flew out the new recruits for a look around the facility as well as the town, which meant that you'd be spending most of the day away from Sidney. He was reluctant to let you leave but told you he'd see you later.

 While the Penguins drafted six players in total, only five of them made the trip to Pittsburgh. Alamari one of the late-round picks was in Finland and didn't make the trip. "Hi guys, my name is (Y/N) and I'll be showing you around today. We're so excited to have you as a part of the Pens family. I'm going to take you around the city first, then we'll head back here so I can show you around the arena." You piled in one of the Suburbans and took them up to Mount Washington giving them the best view of the city. Media was with you and captured a bunch of pics everywhere that you went. Two hours later you were pulling back into Consol Energy Arena. As you walked through the tunnels to where the ice was still on the arena floor, you could see many of their eyes light up. "So this is the arena," you pointed up the rafters. "And right there is will be hanging the next Stanley Cup Championship Banner. Hopefully, someday you guys will be standing on the ice watching it raised after your names have been engraved on the cup." You saw a few elbow pokes to each other, as their smiles were permanently etched on their faces. They took a bunch of photos before you moved everyone on.

 "So here are the offices, but we also have places at the practice facility in Cranberry. This one is mine and the door is always open if you ever need anything when you're here." Unbeknownst to you didn't see the exchange a couple of the boys had. "And here's the locker room." They took in the unique oval layout which let the players interact with each other better. It had been a well thought out plan when they designed it, taking almost two years to make it the ultimate locker room in the NHL. You pointed out some of its uniqueness to the guys.

 It was Connor Hall who finally asked. "What is it you do again for the team?"

 "Oh sorry, I thought I mentioned that. I'm personal liaison to the team. Basically, I'm at every practice and game and help with communication between players and their families. I've also become sort of the go-to for anything the team may need." You chuckled mainly to yourself thinking of some of the things you'd gotten for the guys during playoffs. "Speaking of which, I need to take this call." It was Phil on the line. You'd helped him with picking out the perfect boat, but sometimes the man was helpless and you knew he was picking it up from the dealership today. You walked out of the locker room to your office, leaving the guys alone in the locker room.

 "Did you hear that? She's a fucking liaison. You know what that means right?" Connor said to the other guys when you left the room.

 "I don't know what you're talking about man," Filip Gustavsson answered.

 "I think he means she's basically the team whore, but I doubt..." Ryan Jones added to the conversation.

 "No fucking way," Joe Mansonius said in disbelief. "Do you really think they have one of those?"

 "She practically says she does whatever the players need." Connor chimed back in. "Like look at her, she's fucking gorgeous…and those tits."

 Kasper Bjorkqvist, the second-round pick finally chimed in. "Look man you shouldn't say shit like that."

 "Why not I'm sure she hears it all the time." Little did Connor know you weren't the one who heard him talking at the moment.

#sidney crosby #sidney crosby imagine #Sidney Crosby Imagines #Sidney Crosby Smut #nhl imagines #nhl imagine #nhl fanfic #nhl smut #hockey imagines #hockey imagine #hockey fanfiction #hockey smut #Pittsburgh Penguins fanfiction #Pittsburgh Penguins imagine #Pittsburgh Penguins imagines

[imnotwolverine]

Driving Home For Christmas

Henry Cavill x OC drabble

Word count: 1.123 

Disclaimer: Fluff

Author’s note: I LOVE CHRISTMAS, mkay? This fic is part of (@toomanystoriessolittletime) Steph’s Christmas Writing Challenge #22 ‘Driving Home For Christmas by Chris Rea’. So here goes. I wish you merry days my darlings! 

Song: Chris Rea - Driving Home For Christmas

(Link to my Masterlist)

--

‘Driving home for Christmas..yea.’ 

Henry’s fingers drummed on the back of the driver’s seat, his father seemingly immune to his son’s antics as he steered the car through the early December dark.

‘WELL I’M MOVING DOWN THAT LINE!’  

‘Henry!’ I admonished, swatting my hand at his bicep as he offered me one of his shit eating grins, his cheeks dimpling in delight. 

‘What’s that love?’ He turned a little in the small corner of the backseat, his knee touching mine - he was far too big for the backseat and yet he had refused to take the front seat, preferring to get reacquainted during the short drive home. 

I shook my head and laughed. ‘You're such a nerd.’ 

'A nerd? Well at least let me have..sexy nerd! Brave nerd! Saving the maiden from..-’ 

‘The horrible airport. Yes-yes. Thank you.’ I playfully sulked, mouth pouting at the boy who was no longer a boy. I could still see that familiar twinkle in his sky blue eyes, a sole remainder of the chubby boy I had befriended so many years ago. Friends then. Near strangers now. Though thankfully, by some strange twist of fate, he happened to be arriving on that same airport where I got stuck - the bus not arriving, the cabs all taken; he had indeed kind of saved me after one miserable day of delay after delay. 

Henry. Ever the silver lining in my life.

‘Everything okay back there?’ Colin, Henry’s father asked, his eyes peering at us through the rearview mirror.

‘Yes, Mr. Cavill. Thank you so much again for taking me. I mean..I don’t want to be a..’

‘OH please! Darling! Can’t have you walking all the way home now, can we?’ The old Cavill chuckled, then waved at a passerby car. Everyone seemed to know everyone on this island that once had been my home.

‘So.’ Henry shifted in his seat, face melting into a more serious expression. ‘I haven’t seen you back here in..forever.’

‘Likewise..Superman.’ I teased before slowly nodding my head in agreement, lips sucking in as I tended to do when in thought. ‘Last time was like what..LA …4 years ago?’

‘Yep.’ He nodded his head as well, eyes searching my face as I quickly turned my attention to the buttons of my coat; there was something about his gaze that made my cold cheeks grow hot. 

‘So eh..Are you still with that pretty blonde? What’s her name again?’ I swiftly offered him a curious glance. 

‘Nope.’ He sighed. ‘Superman’s not very good at finding a suitable lady for his..’ He used his fingers to quote: ‘super lifestyle.’

‘You’ll find one!’ Colin intervened, to which Henry rolled his eyes.

‘Dad...Come on. I’m 38. Let’s be honest..’

Colin, however, didn’t agree to the sentiment, his finger moving over the volume button to turn it up loud.

So I sing for you

Though you can't hear me

I laughed heartily as his father started to belt the song aloud like his son had done moments earlier, the sorrows of an exhausting day quickly forgotten as I too joined in, wishing to lift Henry’s spirit as he always had mine.

When I get trough

And feel you near me

Henry chuckled softly and gave me a theatrical look of exasperation, eyes rolling in their sockets.

Driving home for Christmas

With a thousand memories

‘That’s true though.’ Henry agreed, before joining in too, his warm laugh back on his dimpling cheeks as the three of us sang along with Rea’s warm jazzy voice.

Far too soon the car halted before my parents home, a slow drizzle somewhat dampening the mood of what should be a magical Christmas. In fact. I wasn’t very much looking forward to this Christmas. I loved my parents, my family. But they were a handful. And I just wanted things to be easy going, like..the Cavill’s Christmases always seemed to be. With a sigh I pushed open the car door, and much to my surprise, Henry did the same.

Without question Henry followed me up to the door step, eyes slightly squinting into the tiny raindrops that danced in the porch light.

‘So much for the Christmas mood.’ I sniffled, nose scrunching as our faces and hair slowly got soaked.

Henry hesitated as we both settled on the door mat, his large frame turning towards me as if he wished to say something, only to let out a cloudy breath before he offered me another grin. 

‘You think that funny, hmm?’ I poked his chest again, though this time he caught my hand, pulling me ever so slightly closer as my breath hitched. Once more his lips slightly parted, as if he wished to speak. But no words came. And then I saw it. Behind the facade of that far too handsome man, blue eyes shining in the low light of the rainy porch-perch, there still was Henry. Shy Henry. My heart ached for shy Henry. He was my weak spot. Always had been. Though, Henry didn’t seem to recognise my calm appreciation, his eyes darting from my parents’ front door to his dad’s car.

‘Eh..’ He cleared his throat, still not finding any words - I smiled inwardly. Yes, he was still a bit of a nerd. 

‘Do you want to have my new number? I think you still have my old one.’ I finally said, eyebrow rising.

It was as if Christmas came early for Henry - albeit just a few hours early. His whole face lit up as his gaze shot back at me, lips parting but this time in giddy joy.

‘Y-yes. Eh.’ He smiled, quickly moving both hands to his pockets to find his phone. I mimicked him and with the awkward fumble of cold, gloved fingers on rainy phone screens, we exchanged our new numbers.

—

‘Who was that?’ My mother tried to keep her tone casual as a knowing eyebrow raised, her hand turning a wooden spoon through some doughy mixture in a mixing bowl.

‘Oh..eh..Henry. We used to be friends in lower school.’

‘Ah..’ Her smile grew. Her red painted lips opened again to continue her questions, but I quickly brushed passed her to greet the others. And my mom? She laughed - OH kids….

—

The warm interior of the car welcomed Henry back and with a relieved sigh he sank into the seat next to his dad, that same darn song somehow STILL playing. With a comical twist of the button, Colin cranked up the volume again.

So I sing for you

Though you can't hear me

When I get trough

Oh and feel you near me

‘DAD.’ Henry rolled his eyes. ‘UGh..Just..drive.’

And though slightly embarrassed by his dad seeing just how little “game” his son really had, Henry couldn’t help but smile - driving home for Christmas was suddenly not so bad after all.

--

General Tagsquad: @harrysthiccthighss @tumblnewby @magdelen69 @thereisa8ella @mary-ann84 @darkbooksarwin @summersong69 @madbaddic7ed @luclittlepond @maroonmolly @just-a-normal-fangirl18 @hell1129-blog @agniavateira​ @tillthelandslide @elinesama

#henry cavill fanfiction #steph's christmas writing challenge #christmas fic #henry cavill x oc #fluff #drabble

[anenglishmansinamorata]

SFW APH England Headcanons (Arthur Kirkland)

Author’s Notes: Another uneeded list of HCs for our beloved England (Arthur Kirkland). I may be posting another list in the near future. Any how, please do enjoy~

Before Arthur decides to pursue a relationship, he takes time to reflect on what he wants considering that he doesn't like to rush into things. After all, getting into a relationship isn't a game.

Arthur is initially the depiction of a classic textbook gentleman who would most likely open doors for you, pay for both your drinks/food/items, brings you flowers (either roses or freesias), and walks/drives you home after a date.

The Englishman doesn't kiss on the first date, or the second, or the third. He claims that its because he respects your personal space and kissing you out of the blue isn't something that a gentleman such as himself would do. You eventually found out that the poor man had been so nervous that he couldn't bring himself to kiss you.

The first date took place in a nearby café and tea shop with both of you being quite awkward but after a few minutes, the conversation began to pick up the pace.Surprisingly, you two chatted about current events, your favourite literature pieces, hobbies and mundane things. In the end, the Brit's dry and sarcastic humour made you laugh and you couldn't help but be charmed by him. 

The following dates would you usually start with meeting each other before walking to a destination like quiet museums, outdoor gardens, or busy street markets. Neither of you would notice how time would fly when the two of you spent time together. When the dates would come to an end, both of you would shyly give each other a wave as you both say your goodbyes.

For the duration of your relationship, Arthur is a bit of a Tsundere and doesn't fully express himself that is until he becomes much more comfortable later on.

Arthur is busy most of the time because of his job and may not look like the part but he is secretly a romantic at heart and puts great effort into planning these dates.

His pet names for you consist of 'Love', 'Poppet', 'Dearest' and 'Darling'. On the other hand, you affectionately also call him the same terms but with the addition of 'Eyebrows'.

The Brit isn't the most vocal nor does he often initiate physical acts of affection in public. The farthest that he would go is giving you a chaste peck in the corner of your lips, wrapping an arm around you with his hand on your waist, and holding your hand.

The most memorable date had been when he brought you to the Greenwich Observatory to stargaze. He had laid down his jacket as a makeshift blanket and you two lied beside each other, silently appreciating the night sky. When he realized that you were feeling chilly he shyly mumbled that you move closer to him to keep warm, all the while turning his head away to hide his blushing visage. When both of you were on the way to his car, you silently slipped your hand into his own only to be reciprocated with a soft squeeze of his calloused hand. When he dropped you off, Arthur had accompanied you to your door and reached over to take hold of your hand. The blonde gave you a faint but charming smile before pressing a chaste kiss against your knuckles and bidding you a good night. You couldn't sleep a wink that night because you kept replaying that magical moment in your mind.

There would be constant meetings between the two of you, some planned and others just accidentally running into each other. It didn't matter when or where you two would meet because, in the end, the two of you would end up having dinner at either yours or his place.

The first time that Arthur had ever tried to cook dinner for the both of you, it had been a disaster. You had arrived at his home and immediately left your things in a hurry when you heard the smoke alarm and saw black smoke coming from the kitchen. Thankfully, the only thing that was damaged that night was the Englishman's wounded pride.

Arthur had been the one to first voice his love for you. At this point, you were both quite comfortable with each other and it just came naturally to him. After a few minutes of trying to persuade the Englishman, the two of you had ended up comfortably cuddling on the couch while reading 'Pride and Prejudice' together. You had invited him to voice the lines of the male characters while you both narrated and voice the female characters. You had been so focused on his soothing voice and finally took your eyes off the novel only to be met with his determined gaze as he spoke."In vain have I struggled. It will not do. My feelings will not be repressed. You must allow me to tell you how ardently I admire…and love you." You couldn't help but feel a smile from breaking out as you leaned into his figure to whisper a 'Thank you' and an 'I love you too'.

Contrary to popular belief, Arthur was a dreadful cook but he was an exceptional baker. He sometimes uses this excuse to come to visit you at your place but after the second impromptu visit, you handed him a spare key to your flat and told him that he should make himself at home.

Arthur gets up earlier by a few minutes from you but takes a bit longer from him to wake up. He tries to tame his messy hair by running his hand through his blonde tresses but the wind usually messes it back up again.

The first time you went on vacation together was to Cornwall, England. It had been a mild summer day and the two of you took a quaint boat ride whilst admiring the scenic view of the historic homes and landmarks by the river. In the evening, both of you had dinner at a restaurant near the beach docks where you walk hand in hand on your way back to the hotel. 

Arthur tries not to get jealous when you meet or spend time with others too much. Of course, he would give you all the space you need but he can get a little bit lonely. He does cherish your time together and tries not to be too clingy but his furrowed brows and soft grumbling under his breath gives it away.

Gardening is one of Englishman's hobbies and there had been instances where he tried to involve you in it as well--You were eager to learn of course. He gave up after a few times you had overfertilized and overwatered a small patch of geraniums, effectively killing and leaving a bald patch in his garden.

The first kiss you two shared was when you two went to watch a play. You had taken the initiative this time and playfully proposed that if the lights were lowered, you two should kiss. Arthur had looked quite embarrassed but grumbled some sort of compliance to humor you. And when the lights lowered, neither of you knew who kissed who first because both of you bumped noses multiple times before actually finding each other’s lips in the dark.

Arthur's most preferred beverage is a cup of steaming Earl Grey but he is not averse to having the occasional whiskey or beer but rarely a glass of wine. This explains as to why the blond has a rather low tolerance to alcohol and has a tendency to become a melancholic and sentimental drunk.

Fights between the two of you are passionate and both your mouths tend to run until both of you are out of insults. You tend to leave the house to cool off while Arthur tends to sulk in either his study or the living room. It takes a few hours before the two of you acknowledge each other and patch things up with each other.

There are times when the Brit would rope you in some of his antics or pranks when it involved either Francis or Alfred. Seeing how much fun he was having and the bright smile on Arthur's face was worth the trouble.

Both you and Arthur had bought multiple gifts for each other but your most treasured items had been all the romantic handwritten notes that he had sent you so far. On the other hand, Arthur's most prized possession was a set of expensive cufflinks that you had given him on his birthday and he only wears it during important events or when he needs a confidence boost. 

#aph hetalia #APH England #arthur kirkland #hetalia imagines #hetalia x reader #hetaliaxreader #aph England x reader #1p hetalia #hetalia sfw #hetalia fluff #Axis Powers Hetalia #hetalia #hetalia imagine #aph #hetalia headcanons #I Love Arthur Kirkland so Sue Me #Axis powers ヘタリア #hetalia scenarios

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #260

“better think twice; your train of thought will be altered.”

Have you ever taken a shower with anyone before? I believe Nicole and I did as kids sometimes? Do you wear your seatbelt in the car? Always. Wear your goddamn seatbelt, folks. Do you prefer to spend your time indoors or outdoors? Generally indoors, but it does depend on what I can do outside as well as the weather. How many people have you kissed? Three or four. I really can't remember if *I* ever kissed Girt. Do you just feel awkward when you dance? YIKES YUP, even when I was a dancer. Has the person you have feelings for ever told you that you’re attractive? Yes. Can you get over people easily? MOTHER OF FUCK, NO. Do you believe that there are certain circumstances where cheating is okay? No. Do you like to have long hair or short hair? SHORT. Does the sound of rain at night help you sleep? Ugggghhhh, yes. Especially cuddling while falling sleep in the rain is everything. Have you ever worn a pair of scrubs? Many times. Anything in your room that you’re hiding from your parents or someone else? Well, to a degree. I have artwork in here that I'm just self-conscious of others seeing, but I wouldn't DIE if my mom found them. They're not even really "hidden," just covered. What flavor do you add to your drink at Sonic? Strawberry. Do you like hot-dogs? I wish I didn't. What’s your favorite piece of jewelry? A fuckin hot leather, spiked choker with chains draped across it. It's just a bit tight on me now. Worst injury you’ve ever had? I skinned the shit out of my knees on the road as a kid, wound up with cuts near the bones. It was not, NOOOOOT pretty and took literally years for the scars to totally vanish. What song do you want played at your funeral? Probably "Life is Beautiful" by Sixx AM. How many keys are on your key chain? What do they go to? Just the one to the house. Have you ever taken a pregnancy test? Not in the traditional sense. Before surgery, they obviously had to be sure via a urine sample, but otherwise, no. Would you rather live in a mansion or a small cozy home? Whew, the latter, easily. If you were offered to smoke some weed right now, would you accept? Nah. Do you get your eyebrows waxed, or do you pluck them? Neither, really. I just don't care; mine aren't awful, and it's too time-consuming and "required" too frequently for me to bother. They're just eyebrows. Do you and your last ex hate each other? Not at all. Do you believe your most recent ex thinks about you? Well yeah, we're best friends. Have you ever made out for more than a half hour straight? I was literally a madly in love teenager, you can guess. How do you handle people who are overly enthusiastic all the time? "I don’t 'handle' them, they’re actually pretty cool to be around. I appreciate having that kind of energy around me because I don’t generate a whole lot of it myself and I want it to rub off." <<<< Exactly this. Do people say you look like a certain celebrity? Nah. Who do you think you look like? No one I know of. Ever loved someone who didn’t love you back? hnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGALS;KDJFA;LKJEW Ever done karaoke? Did you like it? Nooooo sir. Ever seen a pregnant woman smoking/drinking? Yep. It was an occasion where I had to practice serious self-discipline to keep my mouth shut. :x What was the last piece of candy you ate? Miss Tobey brought me a Reese's yesterday morning so that. Nice breakfast lmao. Do you curse a lot? A real fucking lot. It's not intentional, it's just so ingrained in me as normal diction after being at Jason's so much when his mother is the definition of an Italian New Yorker and thus her son has a mouth too lmao. Personally, I don't believe in "profanity" in the traditional sense so it doesn't bother me in the way of "oh I'm saying too many bad words," I just know my dictionary is wider than "fuck" and "shit" oof. If you could be a Disney character for a day, who would you be? Probably like Kiara. Be a hot princess lion with a hot lion boyfriend and chill lion parents WOW am I a furry yet. Are you wearing anything of any sentimental value? Describe? Yeah, my friendship ring with Sara, a bracelet from her as well, and an ovarian cancer bracelet for my mom. Then tattoos, if you consider myself as "wearing" them. To you, what is especially distracting? The sound of TV when you're trying to sleep. What are some things that are important in your life right now? My mom's health, my mental health, job searching to at least get ideas for when transportation is easier, keeping the house clean, keeping up with Sara's health. When was the last time you did some major cleaning? A couple weeks back when I detail cleaned out both my shelves. Who challenges you the most? In what way?  My psychiatrist, but not in a bad way. He pushes me to keep improving with things. What was the last opportunity that you passed up, and why? I should know this, but I don't. Have you ever contemplated cheating on anyone? Oh no, I couldn't live with the guilt. Who do you know that gives very sound advice? Sara is great at that. What do you think makes a person weak? The will to drag someone down just because you're feeling that way. What makes a person strong? The determination to not give up. Who do you go to when you need comfort? Mom more than anyone. Where is your favorite place to get fries? BOJANGLE'S. You cannot live to your fullest potential until you've received the seasoned blessing of Bojangle's fries. What is the most recent article of clothing you’ve purchased? I think underwear. Have you ever made your own pie from scratch? No. Are there any waterfalls nearby? Definitely no big ones. Hell, maybe even no natural ones. There are lots of dams, but I don't think they count. What are your earliest memories of going to see a doctor? My first time getting my blood drawn and consciously understanding what was about to happen. Freaked the FUCK out, bolted from the room, and clinged like a monkey to a column while sobbing. It literally took multiple adults to get me off of it, and I was very little. And then when I actually got poked, apparently I just said, "... That's it?" Oh, little me, you'd take needles for hours later on in life in the name of art lol. What is your favorite condiment? Maybe ketchup. Do you know anyone who has been to rehab? Well, all the mental hospitals I've been to included addicts seeking recovery, and I befriended a few. For people more in my personal life, I think so. Would you consider yourself to be a picky eater? I am ridiculously picky. Have you ever slept in a car overnight? I'm quite sure no, not a full night. Has someone close to you died of murder? No, thankfully. Does your school offer driver’s ed? My high school did, which is where I took it. Have you ever done volunteering work abroad? No. Do you have a shower stall or a bath tub? A tub. Why do you do these surveys? I'm bored most of the time with absolutely nothing better to do. Sometimes it helps me contemplate some things about myself. Do you like shopping? Eh, depends on what I'm shopping for. What’s a show you wish that was still on air? MM IS COMIN BACK, FUCKERS. Do you like hip hop? Nooo. Do you like pretzels? I do, especially soft ones. You want your next pet to be what? It's probably going to be a tarantula. I'm not being sarcastic lmao. It just depends on if I can convince my mom. Do you like coconut scents? Sure. Would you spend 20 dollars on a candle? Hell no. What is a dessert that you DON’T like? Pie. And one that you love? mmmmmmmmMMMMMMMM ice cream. Would you rather be a vampire or a mermaid? Vampire, ig. Being a mermaid genuinely sounds boring. Where the fuck's the WiFi. Are you happy with your physical features? Bitch no. When you doodle, what are you usually doodling? Meerkats. Do you eat salads? Not enough, but I like them w/ regular lettuce and I'm open to different dressings. Favorite thing to do on your phone? Play Pokemon if I'm actually in a spot to get fckn balls. What magazines do you like? I don't read any. What is your favorite thing about Christmas? The feeling of really being a family. Do you prefer white or black electronics? Black. Firm pillow or soft pillow? S O F T Who was the last person you rode in a car with? Mom. Do you know anyone, personally, who is in an abusive relationship? Are you? Thank fuck no. Are there any people you don’t like for your significant other/crush to talk to? I’m single and don't have like... an "active" crush ig? What was the last alcoholic beverage you drank? I had a bombin' sangria for my birthday @ Olive Garden. Has one of your boyfriend’s best friends ever tried to get with you? Again, single, but for previous ones, no anyway. Are you 100% over the last person you kissed? No. Have any of your friends ever overdosed? I think so, but none died, thankfully. The last thing you downloaded onto your computer? Ummmm probably something for school. How many friends on Facebook do you have? 118. What age is the oldest you would date at the moment? It'd take me seriously liking someone to go slightly beyond 30. Do you want to be single? I don't know. I don't really know if I'm "fit" to be in a relationship right now, like I know I gotta figure shit out, but I think it's natural to want that companionship some days. Are you good at hiding your feelings? Well, I guess it depends on the emotion, but honestly, I don't think so, in most cases. Who did you last share a bed with? Sara. Have you ever been taken to the emergency room in an ambulance? Not in an ambulance, no. What are you listening to right now? An '80s-ish/synthwave cover of "Disturbia" by Rihanna. I've been on a total binge of this kinda stuff lately. Ever been on a golf cart? Ye. Do you have trust issues? Yep. Do you own something from Hot Topic? I think most of my shirts are from there. Have you ever slapped someone in the face? No. Do you have a little sister? Damn, not so little anymore. Turned 22 a few days ago. Have you ever been to New York? The state, yes. City, no. Do you actually read privacy policies when signing up for new things? Nope. Did you have a lot of birthday parties when you were younger? If so, did you invite everyone in the class? I mean, define "a lot?" I did once every year... and no. I was selective. Have you ever participated in one of those “guess how many jelly beans, mints, etc. are in this jar!” contest? If so, have you ever won? PTSD is fuckin weird. I have, and I get anxious and uncomfortable just seeing them. The very last time I hung out w/ Jason was at his brother's wife's baby shower, and something like that was there. Shitty fuckin day. Can you juggle? No. Do you live on an avenue, road, drive or something else? Road. What are your school colors? N/A Have you ever taken a picture with Santa when you were little? Yeah, I think my sisters and I did that every year? What is the population of the city you live in? Google says around 5.5k. Do you like Nerds candy? Yeah man. What’s your favourite flavour of soda, pop or whatever else you call it? Blue raspberry. What level of brightness do you usually keep your phone at? It's on about 70% during the day, and I lower it to about 20% when I'm about to go to bed. Have you ever attended a religious or private school? My previous school was a private & religious college. Do you have any pets and are they cuddly? My cat is STUPID cuddly. Absolute attention hog. My snake seems to enjoy attention, though I wouldn't define snakes as "cuddly;" their brains don't know what affection really is, which I think is mandatory in that definition. She does love to lie against me on the bed, though, when I take her out to let her wander. What’s the worst job you’ve ever had? All three of my jobs have sucked, but considering I lasted in a deli not even two hours, probs that. How many cars does your household own? One. Are there any cracks or scuffs on your phone? No. This shit is literally a Tracphone yet is incredible man, I've dropped it a good few times and it's a great phone. What’s your favourite meat? Out of most forms, probably pork, which I really wish wasn't true. I adore pigs. Or maybe chicken. Which I still feel bad about. Do you need glasses to read or drive or need them all the time? I always need them. Is the internet fast where you live? It's fine. What is your favourite meal of the day and why? Breakfast has the best options and makes me look forward to the morning lmao. Do you like long surveys or short surveys better? Ha ha, obviously long, seeing as I compile shorts ones into these larger ones. I do it because I feel individually posting with EVERY one I pick out would get annoying. Have you ever been to a cocktail bar? No. What’s the best amusement park you’ve ever visited? Disney World. Do you keep the cabinets in your kitchen and bathroom organized? More so in the kitchen. Have you ever had a romantic fling? No. Are you a very forgetful person? To a frightening point. Are your parents married or divorced? They're divorced. Do you believe in Heaven? Not the Christian one, but I do lean towards there being some peaceful existence after death. Do you eat the stems of broccoli? That's obviously the best part. Do you read blogs? No. Would you ever go out dressed like the opposite sex? I pretty much have before? Worn guy's pants and unisex or men's shirts before, I'm sure. Ever been involved with the police? No. What's your favorite shampoo/conditioner and soap? Idk, I'm just very used to Suave. Their body wash smells amazing. Do you feel that you've had a truly successful life? HELL NO. Do you twirl your spaghetti or cut it? Twirl it. Favorite restaurant? Olive Garden is GOOD SHIT. Have you watched Tiger King yet? Christ, no, and I sure am tired of seeing it everywhere online. Do you try to do something significant and meaningful every day? It's quite clear I don't, even though I really, really want to. What is your favorite pizza topping? Pepperoni. What was the name of the first pet that you loved? Chance. What color hair did your first crush have? Brown. Does anyone know who your first crush was? yeah. Who was your first celebrity crush? Whew, Jesse McCartney, lads. Have you ever had to use an epi pen? No, thankfully. What color was your first phone? Navy, I think. Do you know anyone with Down’s syndrome? Not anyone personally. How much do you weigh (only answer if comfortable)? I'm not comfortable. Have you ever been overweight? I have been since 2016. What color is your Christmas tree? Green. What color Christmas tree do you want to have in your house someday? UGGGGHHHHHHH give me a black one with fake snow on it. Omg. What color house did you grow up in? Uhhhh... I think it was white? I should know this. Have you ever been baptized? If so, how and where? Yes, when I was a baby at the Catholic church I grew up going to. What type of wedding do you want? Give it a gothic vibe ok. Are you taller or shorter or the same height as your mom? We're the same height. What is your heritage? German, Irish, and Polish. Are you excited for the upcoming summer season? Ugh, no. Not at all. At. All. Do you like crackers with your soup? No. Which ex of yours means the most to you? Depending on which way you mean, Jason or Sara. What is something that never fails to make you feel accomplished? Do a decent amount of cleaning. How do you feel about nudity, in person? Uh???? What exactly do you mean by "in person"???? I guess it depends on who, the situation, and location??? Have you taken prescription medications that didn't belong to you? Pain medicine, yes. Do wooded areas freak you out in the evening or night? I mean, to a reasonable degree, I guess. Obviously being in the wild in the dark is dangerous. Have you ever ridden on the back of a motorcycle? No. Do you iron any of your clothes? No. Can you sleep in an unmade bed? Yeah. Did the house you grew up in have a big yard? It was p good. What has been the most difficult class you’ve ever taken? Probably Latin. What was the last website you were on, before this one? I was on Facebook. Is your hometown famous for anything? No. What are some things a house would need to have for you to purchase it? I'm personally very serious about a dishwasher and laundry room. Other than that I'm... kinda blanking? Like I'm not that picky as for what the house HASSSSSS to have, besides those. Well, two bathrooms would be great. What was the last thing you heated up in your microwave? A pancake+sausage on a stick thing for breakfast. When was the last time your internet stopped working? It was having a temper yesterday. Did you ever watch Phil of the Future? Not very much, and never really by choice. Nicole would watch it sometimes though. Were you born somewhere other than a hospital? No. What was the last flavor of ice cream you had? Vanilla. Do you have an online game that you play often? None at the very moment because my personal gaming laptop has been kaput for well over a month now. Maybe close to even two. Is there a trash can near you? No. Have you ever shared sleeping accommodations with someone of the opposite sex without anything steamy happening? No. Is there a fan going in the room you’re in? Yeah, beside me.

#survey #quiz #questions

[darcypalmer]

After a long day od questioning and interrogation, @diegojaimechavez​ surprises Gen with a phone call and spend the night chatting

It was a long, never-ending day. Gen was ushered into an interrogation room the moment they stepped into the building and not so long after the FBI showed up too, and it had begun. She thought she was tired before, but dealing with the FBI sucked every bit of remaining energy out of her. It wasn't the same as the interrogation all those years ago, but the feelings were the same - the extreme tiredness, both emotionally and physically, feeling like she was the shittiest person, the confusion and the knowledge that she was missing so much, even now she was missing so much information, the emptiness and weirdly feeling dirty to her core. She was sure there were moments when the FBI looked at her as a potential ally to Vivien and the syndicate, that was inevitable, but she wasn't sure what made them realize that wasn't the case, or even if they realized it or if they still considered her another suspect.

They barely took breaks, but during one of them Al brought her a cup of coffee, which she was more than grateful for (though she really wished it could have been Diego who brought it, just seeing him for a few moments would have been nice, but she assumed that he wasn't allowed anywhere near her during the interrogation, not that it would have made any difference). While Al brought the coffee to her, she quietly ask him to make sure some kind of medical professional would check out Diego and his injuries, and he promised her with a look that Diego most likely would have recognized, but to Gen it was just a kind face agreeing to what she asked.

She lost her sense of time completely by the time the FBI released her that night with the promise that they'd be contacting her about any questions they had so far and that in the next couple of days she would be informed about the next steps and what would happen to her from here on out. She felt like a washed rag as she finally headed out of the interrogation room, and to her surprised her eyes immediately found Diego. She expected him to be home, or at least out of here already. "Hey, what are you still doing here?" she asked him once she headed over to him. "You're not in any trouble, right?"

_______________________

Diego expected Gen to be whisked away for processing, and then questioning once the FBI arrived, he recognized a couple of the agents, but merely nodded at them.  He knew he had to let them conduct their work, just as much as he had to conduct his.  But Gen was his work, and so once Gen was taken away, Diego went to locate Al.  He spoke extensively with his boss and with the North California Director as well, about Gen's well-being, her state of mind, her situation.  About Vivien showing up without anyone expecting it.  And reluctantly he even brought up Tyler Ellis, knowing Al was already familiar with the trouble-maker from their past.  He told them Rita should be coming soon, to share what she knew as well.

Everything seemed to be going well - although there was only so much that Diego could do about how the FBI spoke with Gen, at least Al offered to take her in some coffee at one point.

"And about those kids from Sunnymead-" Diego started in immediately after Al returned.  His boss held up a hand.

"In due time, Di, you're going a mile a minute.  And you look like shit.  You sure you don't need anyone to take a look at that mug of yours?  It's even uglier than usual, no wonder you scared those kids."

Diego gave his boss a wry look and waved off the concern.  Al opened his mouth, looking like it was going to say something - but instead, he changed his mind and said something else.  "I talked with Agent Karmeni.  She said your girl's gonna be staying here in the city for a couple of days, while they get things sorted. And yeah - don't worry, you'll be staying with her."

On the brink of insisting he should, Diego relaxed when Al assured him that he'd be there.  "I want to stick by her to the end.  After all this shit that's happened, she needs someone around who she can trust.  Or she'll go rabbity, Al.  She can't just get shunted around again like a pawn on a chessboard.  Not after all this."

Al looked at Diego carefully, and Diego avoided his boss' eyes, knowing that look.  He knew if he made eye contact, then Al might feel responsible for saying something that Diego didn't want to hear, not right now.  So he kept his eyes steadfastly focused on middle-ground, not filling up the silence but also not allowing Al to see any vulnerability in his eyes, no softness.  He knew Al could read him too well.  And he also knew this wasn't the first time Al had seen him like this, about a woman he was assigned to protect.

Finally with a sigh, Al spoke, raising his hands to his eyes like horse blinders.  "Without addressing the elephant in the room - yet - we'll see what we can work out, Diego.  Based on what the FBI need from her - and she's gonna have to go through another psych eval as well.  So we'll consult with the experts and then go from there.  But if you want me to support you in staying on as her handler then....I'll do that.  But that elephant's gonna come charging over sooner or later, and when it does, Di, we're gonna have to talk about it.  You hear me?"

Diego finally looked up at his boss, giving Al a squinting but appreciative smile.  It was small and tentative, but Al knew Diego well.  "Crystal clear.  Al - thanks."

Al pointed a finger at him.  "To be continued, son.  Now it looks like they're releasing your girl.  Go on."

Diego didn't hesitate, because he saw the door opening too through the glass walls of the office building.  He nodded at Al once more then crossed the halls until he got to Gen and the FBI agents.  Diego restrained himself long enough for the FBI agents to get out of earshot, but Gen apparently didn't bother with restraint as she floated right over to him, surprise in her exhausted eyes.

"I'm fine, just went through a lot of paperwork while you were in there."  He gave Gen a huffy look.  "Where else would I be?  C'mon.  You're done for the day, and you gotta be back here bright any early tomorrow.  We're going.  You need food and a shower.  And maybe some ambien."

_______________________

Diego reassured her that he was doing just fine, just working on paperwork and a huge relief flooeded through Gen's body. For a moment she was worried that the FBI took him, too, and tried to twist the narrative in a way that was more than negative towards Diego. That was the last thing she would have wanted, but thankfully it was just some paperwork. Well, probably an extreme amount of paperwork, if he was still here, so long after they've arrived to the offices.

But then Diego asked where else he would be as if it was stupid of her to even assume he would be anywhere else, and it staggered Gen for a moment because... well, she knew he said he would want to stick around for all of this, but she also assumed that meant he would come to New York, make sure everything went down smoothly. Not, say, wait for her for hours without end while she was sitting in an interrogation room, the FBI drilling her. She figured he'd get some rest, she was certain he needed it, she would get escorted to some motel or something and then they'd meet and talk the next day - if she would be allowed.

So she just stood there, kind of confused for a few moments while Diego was already moving towards the exit and she had to shake herself out of her surprise and rush to catch up with him. "Yeah, sure, all of that sounds really good." She would have killed for a shower, anything to wash off all the dirt she felt on herself, and now that Diego mentioned food, she felt like she could actually properly eat, as for the sleep... god, a full night's rest possibly without nightmares was a dream.

"Actually, do you think we could get some burgers on the way to-- where are we going exactly?" she asked, frowning as they exited the building and headed for Diego's car, which felt like the most welcoming sights she's seen in hours, for sure.

She looked at him for a few moments after they settled in before she said, "Thank you. For helping me and sticking around. Really can't thank you enough."

_______________________

"We can get whatever you want," Diego said, although the generousity was mostly in sentiment than action.  If she wanted to go back to Sunnymead, for example, he would've refused.  They had to stay in the city, close to the offices.  But really he could tell that Gen just seemed too exhausted to do much but follow his lead.  Ironic, considering how she'd pushed and resisted and challenged him constantly, for nearly a year now.    He almost wished for those old days of arguing, if only because she was safe and comfortable in Sunnymead.

But Diego also had to remind himself that progress and change was uncomfortable and disturbing, but that didn't mean it was bad.  Vivien Salazar was arrested, Darcy Palmer was no more.  Wasn't that a good thing?  Or wouldn't it eventually be a good thing for Gen?  If, by some miracle, it was determined that she wouldn't need to stay in witness protection, then she'd be free.  Wasn't that what she wanted?  Even more importantly, wasn't it what she deserved?

He stopped at her franchise restaurant of choice, parking so she could go inside and order whatever she wanted.  Diego gave her $20 and told her to get him something too.  By now, after months of serving him, Gen knew what sorts of things he liked to eat.  As he waited, watching her closely, he made one more phone call to Al.  This would be a huge favour, but surprisingly it took little convincing of Al for his boss to say he'd see what he could do.

After Gen gathered her feast, Diego took her to a drugstore to pick up some toiletries, and some fresh clothes.  After that it was checking into the designated motel.  It wasn't anything fancy or special, but it was spartan and clean.  The clean was the most important part.  It was a motel used by the authorities enough to know that it was secure, and had good vantage points and escape routes.  Diego cased the room first before he let Gen settle in.

"Go take a shower, then you can eat afterwards, hm?" he suggested, because he believed food always tasted better when one didn't feel dirty and grungy.  "I can take a shower afterwards, don't worry."  Once Gen agreed, Diego sighed and inspected his face in the motel mirror, then gently pressed his fingers between his legs.  Jesus, that still hurt.  Vivien had quite the high kick, and he'd probably be feeling it right into tomorrow morning.  But he didn't linger on his injuries when All called him again, and gave him the information he wanted to get.

It was maybe just a minor thing, but Diego was elated that it could happen, and so fast.  Al could sometimes work miracles, and Diego always appreciated it.  "Damn, thanks," he exhorted, hanging up just as Gen came out of the bathroom.  She still looked exhausted, but at least she looked clean.

"Hey, come over here for a second."  Diego sat on the edge of the bed, letting her sit next to him.  He showed her his phone.  "In a few minutes, I'm going to get a call.  That's it, just a call, no video - er, facetime - or anything.  But the call's going to come in from your brother, Benji.  Just so you guys can finally talk, hm?  I thought - I figured maybe you'd want to hear a familiar voice right now and...ah..."  Diego scratched the back of his neck.

"If you don't got it in you to talk to Benjamin right now that's fine.  Totally fine I understand maybe I was just getting a little ahead of myself with setting this up, hm? It's fine, just lemme know now, because I can tell his handler not to call.  Just - I thought it might help if - if you heard...if you got to talk to...ah...."

_______________________

Gen just sank into the car seat and spent most of the car ride in a comfortable quiet with Diego as she was looking out the window and barely taking in anything she saw. The city was dark, the lights periodically lighting up parts of the streets and it probably looked beautiful and interesting, but Gen barely saw any of it. Her brain was running the events of the last day of loop, hyperanalyzing everything Juliana and Phoenix told her, and all the different questions the FBI asked and how her answer must have come across, if she could have given a better answer to any of them.

She quickly got them some food, not needing any sort of direction from Diego about his order either - she saw what kind of food he prefered and kept going back to in the Grub, it wasn't hard to figure out what he would like the most, and then they hit up a drug store and got some basic supplies and she really hoped she could just burn everything she was wearing in that moment. She never wanted to lay eyes on those clothes ever again, let alone wear them.

She was mostly operating on instinct and her body automatically taking her where she needed to go. She felt the exhaustion in her bones. She was sure once she hit the bed, though, she wouldn't really be able to fall asleep, not without at least some sleeping pills, and for once she was going to take them happily because she needed that release that a hopefully dreamless, full night's rest could offer for her. She honestly couldn't remember the last time she had that. Probably before everything turned to shit all those years ago.

After they got everything, they finally headed to the hotel, and she just nodded along to everything Diego was saying as she set the food on the small table and headed right into the bathroom to take a shower. The hot water pouring onto her skin offered such relief she didn't even realize she needed and for the first few minutes she just stood in the shower cabin, letting the water run on her without her doing anything. And once she managed to get herself to move, she spent at least fifteen, maybe even twenty minutes just scrubbing at her body because no matter how many times she washed herself, she just didn't feel clean. It didn't feel like she got all of Vivien off of her and she compulsively wanted to get rid of every bit of that woman from her skin, from her memory and her past and present. But since that wasn't possible, she would have been happy with just washing away everything that happened.

Even though it never felt enough, eventually she stopped and got out of the shower and got into the pajama (one that included a plaid short and a loose tank top with some kind of drawn figure, it was the first thing she could grab at the drugstore when they were there) and with her wet hair falling all over her shoulder, she headed back out. "Sorry, I kind of took my time, but you should still have some hot water."

Instead of taking a shower himself (it didn't even fully register for her at that point that he would be taking a shower in the same place, which meant he didn't have his own room and they would have to share that single bed he was sitting on at the moment), he called her over to sit down next to him, and her mind immediately jumped into alert mode. "What happened? Is everything okay?" She was already imagining the worst possible scenarios - Vivien escaped, Phoenix and Juliana in danger again.

He quickly started explaining to her what was going to happen in a few minutes, though, and Gen went quiet in just a few moments, her hearts beating faster and faster, running her fingers through her hair to at least do something with her hands suddenly this felt like a dream all over again. Did she pass out in the car and now she was just dreaming about what she wanted so desperately to happen? She reached over and pinched her own wrist - but no, it hurt, this couldn't be a dream. Diego was telling her that she could talk to her brother.

She could talk to Benji.

Gen could feel her hands starting to shake and tears brimming in her eyes for the first time in a really long time not because she was scared or stressed or on the verge of a break down, but because she was elated. She couldn't put it into words even if she tried to, but if she wasn't in love with Diego already, she would have fallen in love with him for this. She couldn't imagine just how much pull he had to make to make this happen and she could never thank him enough for this.

And somehow he managed to read her quietness as something that she might not like his gesture and he turned sheepish and started reassuring her that it wasn't required, she could postpone it for later too and fuck, she loved this man so much it felt like she might just burst and she kept meaning to say something because really, she can't stay silent forever and she needed to convey just how grateful and happy and joyful she felt in that moment for this but no words seemed to be enough, no words could ever be enough for this, and she just wanted to lean closer and kiss him, but that was not possible, she couldn't screw things up for him in the same moment when he's doing something so important for her, so instead she ended up just leaning in and throwing her hands around him, hugging him close and hard and tight, burying her face into his neck for a few moments and hoping that he understood everything she couldn't find the words for.

"Thank you," she whispered. "Thank you so much. I just-- thank you," she kept saying over and over again because what else could she do than hold onto him and thank him for all of this.

_______________________

Gen was so completely still and quiet, Diego was fairly sure he'd done it this time.  He'd sent Gen spiralling into some sort of catatonic state of shock.  He really should have known better - after everything she'd just been through in the space of 12 hours, after losing two people she cared about, and finding her ex-girlfriend alive only to realize Vivien was a bad person, and destroying an identity she'd cultivated for four years...now this?  Spring a phone call to her brother, after she'd been beaten up so thoroughly both emotionally and mentally?  He realized then that he was a fool to think it could help her.  All this offer did was probably terrify the poor thing that she'd fuck this up as well and ruin her relation with her brother now too.

"Dar - Gen, I'm -"  Diego started to say, wanting to shove the phone into his pocket so Gen wouldn't have to look at the accusing object.  But then suddenly her arms were around him, and her face buried against the crook of his neck.  For a moment Diego braced himself, thinking she had turned to slap and smack at him in frustration and hurt.  He was expecting her to yell at him for putting her through this new fresh torture - but she wasn't slapping him.  Or yelling.  Instead, she just held him close.

And eventually Diego relaxed, and slid his own hand across her back.  She was hugging him.  God Jesus above, she was happy.  He could've kissed her then if it wasn't for the fact that his face hurt, and he had stale cigarettes-and-coffee breath while she was clean and minty.   But he held her tightly, and gingerly pat her back.

"Of course, of course..." he muttered, feeling suddenly awkward.  She was so happy, and it made Diego's heart ache for so many different reasons.  Fortunately, his phone rang then, and Diego had to let her go to answer it.

"Yeah.  Okay, sure," Diego said over the phone.  "Alright, put him on."  Diego held the phone out to Gen then, and he spoke gently to her.  "He'll be on soon.  I'm going to take a shower, give you two a bit of privacy, hm?  Take your time, his handler will keep a track of the phone call for us.  You'll be alright?"

_______________________

At first it was like hugging a dead piece of wood, Diego was just sitting there, unmoving and Gen was about to move back, not wanting to force her touch and embrace on him when he finally wrapped his hands around her and give her a sheepish pat on her back. In any other situation she would have probably over analyzed that pat and came to the conclusion that it was even further proof that he didn't want anything from her, they've been in each others arms plenty of time before after all, and now he could barely hug her back along with that pat? It surely would have been clear signs in her mind. But now aside from the sheer gratitude she felt towards Diego, her mind was hyper focusing on Benji and the fact that just in a couple of moments she could finally talk to him, hear his voice, make sure he's okay. Diego couldn't have given her a better surprise for the end of the day. Or for any other time, really.

She pulled back when the phone rang, pulling her legs under her, her eyes immediately focusing on the phone and Diego, her hands shaking a little bit from excitement. It felt like it took forever for Diego to hand the phone over to her and it felt like no time has passed at all, and she kept nodding to everything Diego was saying. "Yeah, I'll be fine, I promise. Thank you so much," she said again with a smile and waited for Diego go into the bathroom before she scooted up to the end of the bed and leaned against the header.

Suddenly she was nervous, not really sure what she would even say. If Benji would even talk to her. Maybe she'd pick the phone up and his handler would be waiting for her, telling her that he didn't want to talk and she couldn't do a single thing about it or even blame him for it. All kinds of different scenarios flooded through her head and overwhelmed her and she had to force herself to push all of them out of her brain because anything, even if it was just a simple hello from Benji, would be amazing at this point and she knew she could be happy. She just wanted to hear his voice.

She took a deep breath and put the phone to her ear, listening for a few moments before carefully speaking, "Hello?"

_______________________

It hadn’t been long since Benji had fallen asleep when he heard a knock at the door. He decided to ignore it. The few people he was close to - which he thought was a relative term - knew that he wasn’t ever up late. What was the point in it? It wasn’t like there was much that he liked to do outside of the house. Staying in with Finley was ideal to him. He pressed his face against the pillow again. They’d leave eventually.

... except, they didn’t. Each time there was another knock at the door, he swore his pulse kicked up a beat. Was he going to die? Was he seriously going to die as a math teacher in Texas? He moved to grab his phone so that he could call someone in case of an emergency when he realized how many missed calls and unread messages he had from the agent working his case. The last message said that he needed to open the door immediately. Throwing a pillow across the bed at his sleeping husband, Benji sighed. “Why does my ringtone wake you up every time except for the time it needs to?!” Finley mumbled something which Benji wasn’t sure was in English. He climbed out of the bed, looking back to make sure that he was being followed and walked over to the door.

Pressing his palms flat on the door, Benji decided to look through the peephole. There were so many things which could go wrong and... nope. That was definitely Abigail. Opening the door slowly, Benji didn’t bother trying to make eye contact with her as she stepped inside. “In... uh, in my defense, this usually doesn’t happen. I’ve - we’ve - answered your calls later than this. What’s - what’s so important though?”

Once his sister’s name came from Abigail’s lips, Benji wasn’t sure what was happening. He was hearing bits and pieces, words like Gen and Vivien, but didn’t hear the rest of it. He couldn’t even say how he’d ended up seated on the couch with Finley’s hand on his knee. For a moment, he thought that she had to be dying for any of this to be happening. She couldn’t be, right? There was only one way to find out. Truthfully, he hadn’t felt present in his body until he noticed Abigail thrusting the phone his way.

Fumbling with the phone, Benji held it up - mindful of the fact that it was on speaker so that the handler would be able to hear what was happening in the conversation. The moment Gen’s voice came through the speaker, he started crying. “Genevieve... Gen... what the fuck is going on?!”

_______________________

The moment Gen heard Benji's sporadic, worried voice, she burst into silent tears while a grin spread across her face. It really was Benji and he sounded distant but so close at the same time, and worried about her and it didn't really hit her until that moment that he must have been scared shitless if his handler just burst in through the door and gave him the phone with little to no explanation, but that was okay because he was on the other end of the phone and they were talking and she could reassure him all by herself.

"Benji, hi. On my god, it's so good to hear your voice. I-- I'm okay now," and for that moment she was and felt like she could take on the world all by herself even if the next day all of that might be gone. "A lot of, well a lot of things are happening, but I'm okay, you don't have to worry about me. I'm safe and I'm good and-- are you okay? How are you doing?"

"Gen, we got the gist of what happened, but I doubt your brother heard any of it past your name, so could you maybe...?" A different, familiar voice came through the phone, and Gen breathed a sigh of relief. Finley was there with Benji, that was good, that meant he was not alone completely. When the FBI placed her in Sunnymead she tried to figure out if Finley was allowed to go with Benji or not, but everyone refused to tell her anything. "Really glad to hear you are doing okay, though."

"Finley, really glad to hear you too. But okay, Benji, I swear I'm okay. It's just-- don't freak out but turns out Vivien is alive and she found me, but she's arrested now and I'm okay. I spent the day talking to the FBI and they're gonna figure out what's next in the next few days." She tried to keep it as short and to the point as possible both because she didn't want to worry Benji more than necessary and because she didn't want to sound her time talking about Vivien and what happened, she wanted to hear from Benji.

"But none of that matters, are you okay, are you guys are okay? Happy? How's your life? Tell me something, tell me anything."

_______________________

To hear that she was safe sent a wave of relief over Benji. Still, he began to bite at the bandages wrapped around his fingers - an attempt to keep him from biting his nails. It was attempt number 500. It might as well be anyway. “I’m fine,” he mumbled. There would be more details because he didn’t know how long he had to talk to her. Whatever stubbornness he was trying to hold on to could only go for so long before he spent the whole call being angry with her.

He had lost so much. He might have Finley, but he also needed Gen and Olivia... Olivia who had passed away as a result of this whole mess. His parents had never been people he was close to and he doubted he would talk to them much if they were around. How many nights had he cried and wished he could talk to his sister. Bitterness wasn’t going to ruin this chance.

“She’s alive?! And don’t tell me not to freak out because you know me! I’m not going to keep calm about this!” He glances up and saw Abigail staring at him. She certainly wasn’t one of the people with whom Benji was totally comfortable with. She’d never seen him like this. “So you’re... what now? Did you talk to her? Where are you? What have you been doing?!”

And Gen had questions of her own. Benji sighed softly. “I — yes. We’re happy.  As happy as can be expected. Um, married? Also they made me be a math teacher! Someone asked me what 12 times 12 was the other day and it took me a good thirty seconds to figure it out!”

_______________________

Benji's reassurance came quietly and not with the most positive tone of Benji's voice, but Gen didn't care in that moment, she was just happy to hear her brother confirm he was okay. Or, well, as okay as he can be. She doubted either of them would fully be okay like they used to be after all of this.

Gen couldn't help it, she let out a small, quiet chuckle at Benji's frustration about her trying to calm him down. She could tell that Benji was angry, probably holding back all the hate he had in him for her over everything that happened, but even that anger was welcomed because at least they were talking. At least she could hear him being angry. And really, it was kind of stupid of her to tell him not to freak out, he was already in the middle of freaking out.

"Yeah, okay, that's fair. Just-- don't stress over it too much, please? Finley, please make sure he isn't losing sleep over this."

"I'll do my best," he interjected.

"But yeah, apparently somehow she survived, I'm not exactly clear on that front. She showed up at my apartment and we talked a bit, yeah." Could have spent more time talking, but she did some stupid things instead, not that she was going to get into that. "Not a lot, she wanted me to go with her, thought we could go back to how things were. I told her no. And I'm in a motel right now, I don't think I'm allowed to say more on the where."

"I'd prefer it if you kept quiet on that one, Genevieve, the least all of you know about each other's locations, the better, at least until further notice," a woman confirmed in a stern, matter of fact voice - probably their handler.

"Alright, so yeah, just a motel. Far away from where I was originally placed. And uh... fuck, suddenly I can't think of anything I did. I have a diner! Well, more like ran a diner, still not sure how that will go now. Honestly, I had a really boring life until now." She stayed quiet for a moment before she added. "I really missed you."

Happy and married. That was the best news Benji could have possibly given him. It calmed and relaxed her, and made her happier than she thought could be possible a couple of hours ago. There was an underlying sadness added to it, though - she wished she could have been there, wished she could have seen Benji and Finley get married, and more than anything wished Olivia could have been there too.

"Married? Congratulation, guys, that's so great! When did it happen? How did it happen? I'm so sorry I missed it. Did you guys manage to have a good celebration at least?" She frowned when he mentioned being a math teacher. "Why would anyone make you a math teacher? Did they know you have no clue about numbers? How are you even doing it properly? Do they give you an earpiece and whisper help you through it?"

_______________________

Benji would stress over it. He knew Gen was safe now, but he also knew it wouldn’t be the case forever. He could fixate on the good, but Vivien’s arrest wouldn’t make everything go back to normal. Things were never going to be normal again. This was their new normal.

“Finley isn’t going to know if I’m losing sleep! He sleeps like a rock!” Benji insisted. It wasn’t a lie either. They would end up in bed and, the first moment they laid in silence, Finley would be out like a light. Benji was bad about sleep though. He’d lie there and looked up at the ceiling.

He shook his head. “At least you told her no. You’ve never made the best choices with her. You know she made me uncomfortable!” It had been easy for Gen to write that off, however, because a lot of people made him feel that way. “Are you sure that’s all you did? Because if you - if you did something which might put me or god forbid Finley in danger, that’s on you. Just like with Liv.” He said it harshly bur the look on his face was more sad than it was angry. The thought had been running through his mind over the past few weeks and he wasn’t able to let go of it. He knew, logically, that she wouldn’t have done anything to hurt the people she cared about. There was no way she could have known what Vivien was up to... but someone had to be blamed and she was on the receiving end.

“A motel? Are they - do you think they’re moving you? Or is it... over now?” His brows were furrowed. That certainly couldn’t be the case. Didn’t she have associates involved? Logic wasn’t always his strong suit though. Benji led with his heart.

He shot the agent a dirty look, but knew she could end the call the instant he stepped out of line. “A diner? You weren’t... you weren’t by yourself, right? You have people? God, I hope you have people.” If Benji couldn’t be there, someone had to be for her. The level of closeness that he had with her was irreplaceable, but there were women in his life who he was... relatively close to. (For Benji, that was good.)

A soft laugh left him. The whole thing had been an ordeal and involved a lot of arguing with people they shouldn’t have in a million years. It worked out for the best. “They said they were going to split us up because we weren’t married so... I said we were engaged.” He had blurted it it out without any plan whatsoever. It wasn’t a romantic, yet it wasn’t something that he regretted at all. “Um, not really. We kind of got married legally then we kind of... celebrated privately?” It could have come out wrong, but it also seemed like exactly the right way to describe things. And he was happy about that. A large party would have only bothered him and raised his anxiety.

It was difficult not to grin at this point. “There are a bunch of little booklets that I have filled with notes and equations and formulas. It’s all Greek to me. I don’t... I’ve been trying with this for years and I’m still just as lost!” The students learned things though. He’d had some of them say that he was their favorite teacher. He figured it was the confused looks on his face. “I mean, kids finish it and do well the next year. I’m pretending pretty well! You’d think I would have learned, but...”

_______________________

"I can stay up long enough to try and see if you can sleep, come on!" Finley grumbled in the background, and Gen smiled a little. They were doing okay. They set up a certain kind of life, they adjusted and they stayed strong together. She assumed there were bumps on the road, but she hoped it only made them stronger, and that Finley was there to help Benji through it all. He's always brought the best out of Benji and she couldn't even imagine how Benji would have been like if Finley couldn't went with him.

"Come on, you've always had difficult time getting used to new people," she couldn't help but counter, even though looking back now she wished she would have listened to him. She wished she would have been less blind, maybe all of this could have been avoided.

She dropped her head, running her fingers through her hair as Benji asked if she really only just talked to her or did something else,  memories of Vivien and her entangled in her bed flashing in front of her eyes. Fuck, she hated so much that she's done that, that that was her first reaction. It probably only made things worse. maybe if she could have just used her brain and turned Vivien away, just sent a 911 text to Diego and they caught Vivien by surprise, Juliana wouldn't have been taken, they could have avoided everything that happened. Maybe Diego's face wouldn't have looked the way it did. So many what ifs that would keep running through her head and fill her up with guilt for endless nights, she was sure of it.

"Yeah, Benji, we only talked. I was in shock, I couldn't really do anything else." Well, at least she was good at lying and Benji couldn't see her face. She was sure if he could, he'd know she was lying, but through the phone, she could pull it off. "And I swear you guys are okay. It's not gonna be--- nothing's gonna happen to you, okay? She's in custody along with one of her friends and everyone's at the FBI and the US Marshall's are working on this. You're going to be fine. You're going to be fine." They had to be, she could not survive losing Benji too.

She shook her head at his question and it took her a few moments to realize that he couldn't see. "I don't know. I'm not sure if even the FBI knows so far. Or maybe they do, they're just not telling me. But I'm guessing it depends on what kind of information they can get out of Vivien and her friend and what they can do in the next couple of days. But honestly, I have no idea how all of this works."

At the question of whether or not she had people, she rubbed her face, remembering Phoenix and Juliana. She had people, and then she screwed it up. Really, she could only blame herself for that. She looked over towards the bathroom door. She did have one person left, though. She was still baffled by it, especially after everything that happened recently, but somehow Diego was still on her side and there for her, and she couldn't help the small, soft smile that crept up her lips. "Yeah, I-- it's a bit complicated right now, but I have somebody. Not like that, it's not like that," she quickly added before Benji misunderstood, "but I have somebody I can count on. And I had people. I'm nowhere near where I was now, though, so who knows what's going to happen there."

She let out a chuckle when Benji told her how the proposal happened. "And all of this while I had a ring hidden in our bedroom! You know that, Gen, you helped pick it out, and he still beat me to it!" Finley fake complained and it almost felt like she was in the room with them in that moment, just telling stories and reminiscing about the past. "Can you believe it?"

"At least you guys didn't have to worry about things like rings or tradition or planning," Gen chuckled, shaking her head. "And either way, big or small wedding and celebration, I'm just really glad you guys are okay. That you guys are happy and safe and together. You guys deserved to have your happily ever after, even if it didn't exactly go as you guys planned."

"At least they helped you out with those booklets." Seemed toe FBI gave both of them the starting help. They gave her some money so she could start renting the Grub, and they helped Benji out to make sure he didn't fail during his very first class. They did help at least a little bit, even if mostly they probably ignored Benji and only cared about Gen long enough so that she would one day testify in their case. "And I'm not surprised you didn't pick up anything, but I'm proud of you for pulling it all off."

_______________________

Diego took a long shower, even if the hot water did taper out towards the end.  But it still felt good, and Diego found himself wishing he could hit a pool and just swim until his limbs gave out.  Typically when he had this much exhausted energy, he'd either swim until his brain shut off, off fuck someone nameless for the same goal.  But both were out of the question.  And the latter not just because he didn't want nameless sex anymore - not with that woman out there, who he loved so much - but also because his junk was still a little too tender for anything strenuous like that.  Dammit Vivien Salazar.

Eventually he couldn't dawdle any longer, so he rinsed off and washed his mouth as well, before putting on some clean clothes as well.  Drugstore underwear and cheesy-logo t-shirt and jogging shorts.  He looked a mess, but he'd also looked worse.  Toweling his hair, Diego emerged, knowing Gen was  still on the phone.  He gave her a half-wave, motioning for her to talk as long as she wanted.  He knew Abigail was keeping track of everything, and Abigail got a little testy whenever Diego questioned her.  They didn't really get along, even though Diego did highly respect Abigail's work ethic.

He sat at the front of the bed, opening the food bag up and pulling out his own burger and fries.  They were still a little warm, which was nice.  He settled back against the bedhead, flicking through his phone and chewing his dinner like a cow chewed cud.

Eventually though, he couldn't help listening to what Gen was saying.  His gaze was drawn to her like a magnet, watching the defeated slope of her back, her stubborn shoulders still straight.  As if she was trying to still hold it all together, for the sake of a brother who couldn't even see her.  Her dark golden hair fell over her face, in that way where Diego wanted to tuck it behind her ear.  He wanted her to feel good, just for a moment.  Hopefully, she did.  God, he hoped.

_______________________

Benji rolled his eyes. “You’ll never be able to stay awake that long,” he said before laughing a little bit. “No, but we’re good, Genny. Like... I’ll stress, but I’m not alone.” If he could have her as well, things would have been so much better. There had to be a loss though. He wasn’t going to get everything which made him happy. Honestly, he was lucky his life was at least the way which it was.

“Yeah, I know. I’m just saying. I was right about this one!” It had to happen some time. He hate that he was this time. It was easier when people would tell him that none of his anxieties were going to come true. It certainly wasn’t any help when the time it was had ended up with their family torn apart.

That was a relief. He knew how much his sister had loved Vivien. “I don’t know if I would be able to do that if it was me,” Benji admitted. Gen was stronger than he was, that much was clear. He thought he’d have done anything to get Finley back if he lost him. Letting Vivien go must have been hellish for her. “I’m proud of you,” he said softly then left it at that.

“You can’t promise that though. You can’t. Try - trying to promise that is going to won’t make things any easier for either of us.” He didn’t want to say it meant things would hurt more for both of them if something happened to the other with that reassurance.

He nodded. Things wouldn’t go instantly back to normal on the very off chance that they might. There was a lot of work which needed to be done on the side of FBI and the associated agents. “I want to see you,” he said softly. It didn’t seem like it was ever going to happen. He would give anything to hug his sister again though. “It’s not really fair. I don’t... if I don’t see mom and dad, I don’t mind, but you telling me that you’re fine doesn’t make me feel much better.”

It hadn’t struck him that it may have been like that until his sister was denying it. If she could see his face, she would have known how little he believed that. “Are you going to tell me the truth or are we going to have to pretend that I believe you? I’m hoping for the former.” Though he was counting on the latter to be true. There was a reason she was lying about this. It was difficult for him to figure out what it was.

There was a story there. He knew there was one. He attempted to think of the reasons which would cause her to lose people who cared about her. It wasn’t as if people grew tired of Gen. That made it clear there was, yet again, more than she wanted to let on.

Smiling at Finley, Benji shook his head. “Do you know how many times he’s complained about that? A ridiculous amount of times! I don’t think he’s going to let it go!” He didn’t mind if Finley did though. It made Benji feel special and everyone deserved to feel a little special sometimes. She was correct about that though. They hadn’t had to worry. “We got rings! I was okay skipping parties and ceremonies, but I had to have a ring.” It might be a simple band, but he wasn’t going to trade it for anything. He sighed. “Yeah. It would’ve been nice if you were there though. I didn’t think I would ever get to even tell you.”

It was true. He wouldn’t be able to do this without the help. “At least you can cook though. Diners.... you’ve always liked diners.” When they were younger, the three of them - including Olivia, of course - would go off to diners whenever they had the chance to. Was that gone now? Shit. Change the subject, Benji! He cleared his throat. “I’m not a good teacher, but I could be worse. That’s what I tell myself.”

_______________________

Hearing Benji say that he was proud of her because Gen didn't do anything other than talk to Vivien felt like a punch to the gut, but she didn't want to go back and explain herself, not now, not after this. Even if he said he might have not been able to do that, she felt like he would have been disappointed and angry at him if she actually told the truth and really, she didn't want the rest of their conversation to be about her mistake. So she just buried her face into her palm and tried desperately to not make a sound that suggested anything was up or that she was feeling extremely guilty on that moment.

She instead focused on what she said next. "Okay, that's fair, I can't promise you that, but I can promise you that I would try my best. How's that sound, hmm? I will try to do my best to make sure I don't do anything to get you or me in any kind of trouble or hurt. And in return, you do the same?" She doubted he could ever actually do anything to get himself in trouble, though. It was her who kept finding trouble wherever she went.

I want to see you. Her heart skipped a beat at the sound of that. "Yeah, I want to see you too." She wasn't sure if it could ever be possible, but she also wasn't sure if talking to Benji could ever be possible, so maybe with time it could happen as well. "I am not sure how all of this is gonna go, what's going to happen, but maybe if everything goes okay, I could go visit you guys? Or you could come to me wherever I will end up being? If the people who decide what happens to us deem it safe to do it, of course."

God, he saw right through her. They haven't spoken in years and they were who even knows how many hundred miles apart, and yet he still knew her, he still saw right through her and it warmed her heart to know that it wasn't something that could be lost. Sometimes she wondered if it was possible, if you could unknow a person if you don't see them long enough, but it felt like Benji just proved that theory wrong in a way.

If she would have been fully alone and knew Benji was alone as well, she would have probably talked to Benji about Diego, too, but with Diego coming out of the bathroom this very moment (how did he have such impeccable timing?) and knowing that the other agent hearing things could get Diego in trouble, she opted to say, "can we go with the second one?" And because she didn't want him to feel like she was trying to keep something from him, she quickly added, "it's a bit complicated and a really long story, so I don't wanna get into it over the phone. Maybe next time?"

She knew offering this was wishful thinking, more of a hope than a sure thing, but she also felt like treating their conversation as a once in a lifetime opportunity would have only turned this entire conversation into something even sadder and more tragic than it was, and neither of them needed that for a moment.

Diego got his foot and sat down next to her against the headboard and Gen scooted over a little bit to give him more space, crossing her legs under herself as she shifted position and got herself more comfortable. She shot a warm, happy smile towards him while she was listening to Benji talk about their wedding, and then she couldn't help but reach over and steal a few fries from him and pop it into her mouth after mouthing an apology and a thank to him.

"Yeah, I wish I could have been there, but I'm just glad to hear about it too. Nobody told me whether Finley was with you or not, so it's just nice to hear and know that you haven't been alone all this time. And-- well, I don't know, maybe one day you can show me some pictures. Or just show me those rings yourself. Maybe." It felt so surreal to sound so optimistic or hopeful, but if a call could happen, why couldn't anything else, right?

She chuckled slightly. "Yeah, sure, I can cook, but I got a cook who was 10 times better than I was, people loved his food. Well, they still love it, that just sounded like he died when really he didn't, nothing like that happened, just bad word choices. And now i'm rambling, sorry. Anyway, do you guys have any pets? Did you ever get a dog?" They spent their entire childhood wanting a dog but being told they can't by their parents, and she knew Finley and Benji were thinking about adopting one before everything turned to shit. It would have felt natural for her that after a while they went back to that route and found a sweet puppy for themselves.

_______________________

Their best was the only thing they could offer one another. It was fucked up. Benji hated this situation. He had settled into a sort of compliance. He hadn’t liked it, but he’d grown used to it. Now, there was this. He was actually able to communicate with one of the people who mattered most to him in the world. He had Finley, of course, and he loved him with his whole heart. But it wasn’t the same. His family was gone and... then the one person that he still held in that regard was on the other end of the line for however short of a time period this would be. He wished there was a way to prolong it.

“Of course I’m not going to get either of us in trouble. Well, the three of us.” He shot Finley a gentle smile. “If you thought that I was cautious before, you should see me now.” It wasn’t always a good thing. It was probably helpful for Abigail though. He figured working with himself and Finely was an easy job.

Benji bit his lower lip. For a moment, he considered breaking the rules. He could find a way to contact her outside of this... there had to be a way. Perhaps he could convince Abigail to - no. She was more staunch on the rules than he was. Before meeting her, he hadn’t thought it possible. “I don’t know. I just - I know that you’re safe. All I want to do is see you. I just have to see you. Hug you.” That way, he could make sure that she was really there. It might not make sense to a lot of people, but it made sense to him.

Complicated? Most things with Gen were complicated. She was a bit odd in a lot of ways, but so was he. They had that in common. He wanted to point out that there was no guarantee for there to be a next time. He almost did. Instead, he simply sighed. “Fine, but next time, I’m going to lead with that. I’m just gonna ask you to promise that you didn’t fuck someone you shouldn’t have again. I had build my life up twice. I’m not going it a third.” The subject could be dropped there. Benji held up his hand. “But it’s done. It’s over. There’s no going back.”

He smiled, knowing that she wanted him to be truly happy more than anyone else would. “Yeah. It would have been much better if I threw up on your shoes rather than a member of the FBI, but...” he trailed off and laughed. “Maybe. And you know what I’m going to want you to do if we’re ever able to see each other again -“ It sounded a lot more realistic when she said it, “- which is that you make a grilled cheese because nobody can master it the same way you do.” He paused. “I also want to see you smile.” For as much as Genevieve wanted him to be happy, he wanted it for on the very same level.

“Your diner, what’d it called. Tell me all about it. Don’t spare any of the details.” There was no way he was going to hear everything about the past few years. If they focused on one thing, however, they would never make any progress. “Any - anything that’s good. Tell me about the good things.”

The mention of a dog had Benji looking over to the one curled up in his husband’s lap. “Her name is Missy. I don’t know what her breed is... other than small. What about you? Are you a parent?” He paused. “To a small furry animal because if there’s a human child in your life and you didn’t choose to lead with that, I might have to kill you.”

_______________________

Diego tried not to listen too hard in on the conversation.  It was technically his right as Gen's handler, but he didn't want to make it seem like he was eavesdropping, after he told Gen he'd give her privacy.  When she scooted next to him though, he figured she didn't mind him picking up the conversation here and there if it happened.  It struck him, suddenly, how...domestic this was.  Both of them relaxed back on the same bed, having dinner, Gen chatting on the phone with her brother while he checked his own phone.  It would've been almost normal, if it wasn't for the fact that they were hiding out in a motel to protect Gen from possible attacks, and her brother was in a secret location, hidden for the same reason.

Diego took out Gen's food for her, and laid it out on the paper bag.  She could take as many fries from her own pack as she wanted, but she wasn't getting any more of his.

When she asked about her brother's pets, it reminded Diego again - damn.  That hedgehog.  He knew Gen asked Flo to look after it but he really should drive into town tomorrow and pick the thing up, as well as his remaining belongings and some of Gen's - Darcy's things.    First he'd talk to Al to inquire about the fate of the diner and if there was anything to be done about it.

_______________________

"Good. All three of us should be good then." Gen didn't doubt that Benji was sticking to all the rules and keeping everything in order. In that regard, Diego might have been luckier if he was assigned to her brother instead of her. He wouldn't have had to deal with things like her running off to LA without a word or warning. A lot less headache and a guns pointing at his face. Would have been a real treat.

"If it's ever going to be possible, we'll make it work however we can and then I'm going to hug the shit out of you. You'll be complaining and asking me to let you go," she joked. "But until then, Finley, would you give him a hug for me?" She could hear some rustling of clothes and moving on the other side of the phone and she smiled to herself for a moment. "Done." "Thanks."

Promise that you didn't fuck someone you shouldn't have. Right in the middle of it. It was like Benji just knew what went down for a few months between Diego and her. And then it hit her. Again. She did it again, she fell in love with somebody she shouldn't have. Did she have a type? Did she somehow draw in people that she shouldn't have and get attached? Granted, she couldn't have possibly known that Vivien would bring such horrors into her and her family's life, but she did in fact know Diego and her probably shouldn't have done what they did, she just didn't care, because no matter what Diego says about it being wrong, it wasn't. It couldn't have. Not after everything that happened and everything she felt.

(It was interesting how out of the two of these relationship, one of them looked so perfect, so right in the beginning only for the holes to show up and reveal just how wrong it was, while in the beginning it felt like there was nothing but holes between Diego and her that they needed to patch up and work through, but in the end it turned out to be so good and so important. For her at least. And even if it was only important for her, she still cherrished every memory, every moment.)

Through all of this she was watching Diego move back over to the food bag and take out her dinner too, probably glad to see her trying to actually eat without nudging after she stole some of his fries and wanting to make sure it wouldn't disappear or she wouldn't end up eating his food instead (she mouthed a quick thank you to him once he settled back onto the bed), and really, maybe according to the rules of his job, what they did was wrong, but she didn't regret any of it. She just regretted that if any of it got out, she could get him in trouble with it.

She was definitely not going to say any of that to Benji, though, not with Diego hearing it and definitely not with Benji and Finley's agent hearing it. She just replied in a cheerful tone, "I promise, I promise. You won't have to rebuild your life again, I didn't do anything stupid." Partial truths, they could work wonders.

She let out a small chuckle. "I would normally not approve of you throwing up on my shoes, but yeah, I would have preferred that scenario over anything else. And of course I'll make you all the grilled cheese you want, but only if you won't leave my side cause I won't be willing to stay too far from you." Maybe it was just wishful thinking, but even if it was just a small dream that wouldn't happen, it was nice to be able to talk about it with Benji.

"Hey, I smile!" Gen objected and purposefully did not look at Diego because she didn't want to see him look at her skeptically. Sunnymead and the townsfolk had that effect. When she first arrived, she didn't think she would ever smile again, but they worked their magic and changed that. They helped her a lot, without even realizing it. "Not all the time, sure, but there are moments. You can't see it, but I am smiling right now. Your voice kind of has that effect." In that moment it felt like if she could only keep talking to him, she could smile forever.

"No diner names, or any other location names that could be followed up," Gen heard the woman interject sternly when Benji asked about the Grub and she cleared her tone. "Okay, okay, no names, I promise. Good things - I got it on a lease, I fixed it up when I got there originally and somehow it became the town's staple. I heard so many rumors and gossips there, you have no idea. Got some really good people working for me. I also live above it. Well, lived. I keep forgetting to use the past term."

She was glad at least one of them could finally get the dog they've always wanted. "I'm sure she's the cutest of the cutest. And no, I don't have a kid, don't worry, I'm not holding out on you," she couldn't help but laugh at his suggestion of having a kid, even though a part of her heart was bleeding over it, knowing that for such a long time that hasn't been an option for her. "But I do have a little animal, though she's not so furry. It's a hedgehog and her name is Vex."

_______________________

As far as Benji was concerned, he wasn’t going to complain about her hugging him when (if) they saw each other again. He’d done so in the past, but this was different. There hasn’t been the constant contact which had been present in the past. Even then, he hadn’t done more than dramatically sigh and make a bigger deal of it than it truly was. He’d be far too busy taking her in were they to get that opportunity.

Leaning into Finley, Benji shook his head. “Oh, come on. I’m not going to complain. I know I... kind of complain a lot, but I’m going to probably cry if I ever get to see you again...” He wasn’t counting on it, but Abigail wasn’t objecting so it might be possible.

There was a pause before she answered and Benji could feel his anxiety rising. He knew his sister well. This seemed to mean that she was hiding something. Interrogation wasn’t the move though. They had limited to communicate. If all of Benji’s time was spent doing that, he would kick himself.

He hummed nonetheless, an even tone which made it perfectly clear that he didn’t believe her. There was no pushing though. He didn’t want to stress her. “Alright. Consider the subject dropped. No more discussions of your sex life in front of all of these people.” Which didn’t mean it was truly dropped, simply (hopefully) pushed off to a later date.

“Trust me. Do you honestly think that I’m going to go anywhere but where you are? No. I’d hole up wherever we were and here every detail about your life while I gave you every detail of mine.”

Benji laughed. “Remember how Mom used to joke that me and Liv were the only ones who could get you to smile?” It was an exaggeration, sure, but it was fun to joke about... even if the mention of their sister made him feel like there was a hold in his heart which would never be filled. “I’m smiling like an idiot. I’d say Finley could confirm, but he’d argue that I wasn’t an idiot like he always does.”

Furrowing his brows, Benji stared at Abigail. He had never argued with her in the past. It wasn’t in him. However, this? This was grinding on his last nerve. He couldn’t hear most of the things about his sister’s life and he hadn’t asked to. He just wanted to know the name, so that he could picture in his mind. There were so many gaps which he wanted filled. It was a small one, but it seemed there was a problem with that.

“Yeah, Abigail. I know. It’s the one diner in the whole country which has that name. Hearing the name of a diner, would put us both in imminent danger! I forgot that I didn’t have any control over my life!”

The outburst was uncharacteristic of him, but he was realizing now how over this he was. He missed his sister. Was the conversation allowed any depth? He sighed. Perhaps he should apologize to Abigail. He didn’t.

He nodded. “So was it like an HGTV show? The ones we used to get wine drunk and say we were going to do? You did that!” Benji frowned. Though he didn’t have to rebuild his life again, Gen did and he hated the concept of it. She’d had a good life then... it got fucked up. This time, he couldn’t even rationalize it in his brain as something that she had done. It was all one big mess. He could hardly understand that. “Are you at least allowed to tell me about the gossip?” A hedgehog? “Like the tiny porcupines?” he asked.

_______________________

Gen let out a small chuckle. "Alright, we'll be attached at the hip and just talk through every little detail we missed. I like the sound of that."

Her smile softened at the mention of Liv and her heart ached a bit at the thought that she couldn't be in this call, that they could never see her again. "Yeah, and Liv made those badges for it after and you guys wore it everywhere for like a week." They would have to talk about Olivia at some point. They probably should be talking about her and what happened now, if she was being honest, but this felt too good, too nice to go down that path. Maybe if they could ever meet and get drunk together. That was the kind of conversation that would require a lot of alcohol.

"He really isn't an idiot, but he is smiling like one," came the confirmation from Finley and Gen smiled. They were both smiling and happy to enjoy a simple phone call, even just a couple of hours ago it didn't feel like it could be possible, so it was great to know that there could still be happy moments amidst all of this. Well, thank to Diego. All of this could only happen because of Diego and she wasn't sure how she could ever thank him for this. She'd need to figure something out.

Gen winced at the sound of Benji snapping at the handler, but even more so when he said he didn't have any control over his life. It wasn't life him, to snap at people like this, but it also hit her that it has been years since she's seen or talked to Benji and she couldn't possibly know what kind of changes he went through. And being forced into a situation like this... it would have made sense, if Benji snapped at people more. But even if this was just a one time thing coming out of frustration of how the two of them couldn't even have a simple conversation without somebody else butting in and telling them what they can and can't talk about... she did this to him. She caused him to lose complete control over his life and it was sheer luck and persistence that they allowed Finley to be there with him instead of dropping him off somewhere else and leaving her brother completely alone.

Fuck, she hated how much pain she caused him, how much she ruined his life.

She rubbed her face, feeling the tiredness and the guilt creep in, even though she was trying to not think about it. At least until they had to hang up, she wanted to enjoy just talking to Benji without feeling horrible, she could do that later.

Unfortunately, it came earlier, way too early than how she would have liked, because when Benji brought up the gossips, she could hear some movement from the other side of the phone and then the handler's voice came, "Alright, if you want to hear about gossip, I think it's time you two wrap it up. The call already went longer than you two were originally allowed, so say your goodbyes. We don't want anyone accidentally tapping into these phones and track either of you."

"Fuck," she muttered and she could feel a panic rising inside of her because she didn't want to hang up, she wanted to keep talking to Benji and with not knowing when or if she could ever talk to him again or see him again, this felt a little bit like losing him all over again. But she also didn't want to push the boundaries because this has already been more than she could ever imagine and now she knew that he was okay. She knew he was good and happy and safe and this was not enough and more than enough at the same time.

"Fuck, okay, Benji, I love you. I can't believe I didn't start with this, but I love you so much and I'm really sorry for all of this and I am so happy you're doing okay and just-- fuck, I miss you and I love you. I don't know what else I could say."

_______________________

It was likely exactly what Benji should have expected given his reaction earlier, but it didn't make hearing that their conversation was over now. He clenched his jaw and was refusing to make eye contact with Abigail. He felt like he was going to cry and he would be damned if he did it in front of her. It wasn't her fault, not really, but he needed someone to blame she could take the heat of that.

He felt like he was going to vomit. Running his fingers through his hair, he let out a shaky breath. "I love you too. More than fucking..." he paused, to try and get as much control over his voice as possible. Though, Benji knew he hardly had any time to do. "More than anything. I miss you and I don't know if it's better or worse now," he had to admit. "But I wouldn't trade this for anything. I love you, Gen. This is so fucking unfair."

With that, he got up and left the room, knowing that Abigail would hang up the phone and Finley would see her out. He didn't want to deal with a second more of this.

_______________________

Gen could hear Benji's voice shaking and fuck, she wished she could be there to comfort him and hug him and make sure he was okay, but then if she was there, they wouldn't be in this predicament either. And it hurt, having to say goodbye because she wanted to keep talking, but at the same time it felt like the entire conversation filled her up with a new kind of energy she didn't think she could have. So she listened to Benji and nodded and she could feel the tears brimming in her eyes, but at the same time she was smiling.

And then the call was over and she just sat there for a few moments, staring at the now dark phone in her hand and didn't have the faintest clue what to do or say after this. The conversation kept replaying in her mind and she hoped Finley was already there for Benji and helping him and more than anything she hoped this wasn't the last time. Vivien was arrested, they had to be slowly getting out of this, right? There had to be an end to this somehow.

Then again, maybe in two days she would be told that she would need to get relocated once again and she would become Jenna Sills or some other random person next. She wished she would have even the slightest bit of control over her life and she wouldn't be in the dark constantly.

She took a deep breath and shook herself out of these thoughts, even if just for a few moments, and finally turned to Diego with a small smile and handed the phone back to him. "Thank you, seriously. This... I don't think thank you si really expressive enough to emphasize how much this meant to me, but nothing else really comes to my mind, so just thank you."

_______________________

One thing Diego didn't take into consideration was the possibility that allowing Gen a phone call meant that it could end up making her even more unhappy, after the initial elation of speaking with her brother.  He watched her carefully, gauging her quiet devastation that she was so good at repressing.  She'd been practicing it for four years now, of course it was like second nature to her.  He said nothing until she spoke first, and then he just listened.

Granted, she didn't talk about herself, but then that was so like Gen, wasn't it.  Both Gen and Darcy - they both put people before themselves, thought about other people first.  Not in any sort of self-sacrificial way, but in a way that just meant her heart was full of others.  She was used to thinking about other people, being empathetic, taking care of them. It fulfilled her to help, as much as it helped others.  Even her thank yous to him were kind and considerate.  When she wasn't yelling at him for some indignity or the other, she could actually be quite generous with her kindness.

As if he didn't know that already.

A smile tugged his lips, and Diego moved the food between them to reach and arm around her shoulders.  He tugged her to lean against him, and he pressed his mouth against her damp hair on the crown of her head.  She felt fragile and birdlike right now, so small and broken.

"So...he's got a - a - a husband? Is that what they call 'em?  Husband and...what, husband?"  He asked, awkward, ignorant, and curious.  "I didn't really realize that the both of you were like, y'know.  I didn't realize more than one sibling could be, uh..."  But even as he said it, he was pretty sure it was a stupid thing to say.

_______________________

It was a new kind of torture to have Diego pull Gen close against him, knowing it was just to comfort her after the emotional rollercoaster that was the last 24 hours and especially after the call just ended. She knew she was a mess and she knew that Diego could see it all over her face. She didn't even try to hide things from him anymore, there didn't seem to be any point. He seemed to have learned how to read her like an open book. So even if the memories of the times they've spent in each other's arms flashed back in front of her eyes, she knew this was different. She also knew she should pull back and not let herself enjoy it, it wouldn't end well for her emotionally, but she also couldn't just entangle herself from Diego somehow, so she just closed her eyes and try to forget about everything around them.

It didn't last too long, however, because then Diego started talking awkwardly, and Gen's eyes grew wider and wider at what he was saying. She pulled away and fully turned towards him, frowning in confusion and surprise. "Jesus Christ, Diego, you are so painfully straight," she couldn't help saying, her face still full of disbelief. He didn't say any of it with malice, he didn't intend to hurt anyone, and it wasn't about him being against it either, he just asked something he didn't know about because he never needed a reason to learn and get to know more, and it showed in his question. A lot.

"I don't even know where to start." She picked up her burger - it was cold at this point, but she didn't really care, she was just glad she could eat something. She took a bite to have at least something in her stomach and then started munching on her fries while she started talking. "Yes, they are husband and husband, unless they prefer something else, I'm not sure, I didn't ask them. All of the marriage and proposal happened after... well, sort of during the beginning of the relocation process, so I wasn't there for any of it. Not that any of that part really matters in the whole family question that you just..." She let out a sigh, she was rambling and she didn't even know where to even begin, it was such a surprising thing in that moment. Then again, maybe that was his goal with this, to get her out of the stupor and get her to think about something else, even if that something else was explaining to Diego that more than one person in the family could be part of the LGBTQ+ community.

"Okay, so there aren't any genes or rules or laws of the universe that say that only one person in the family can be non-straight. It just... happens. Sort of like how sometimes a family has three boys and no girls, and then another family has one girl and a boy and the mix could go on and on. It depends on the person and not the family."

"Also, you can say the word gay, it's not an insult. You can also say queer, to me at least, it generally stands on shaky legs, some people love it and embrace it, some people take it as an insult, so don't throw that word around before making sure the person you're talking to is okay with it. But it's okay with me."

_______________________

Diego held Gen and what was more important, Gen didn't resist him.  It seemed like all the animosity and frustration that had built up between them over the last few weeks had dissipated completely.  It made sense in a way - after dealing with the insanity that was Vivien Salazar showing up out of nowhere and kidnapping poor Juliana, a spat over something that was no longer relevant seemed...well.  No longer relevant.

And then there was the matter of Gen sleeping with Vivien.  Given that Diego was a king of making poor sexual choices throughout his entire adult life, he'd be a hypocrite to feel angry about that.  Plus, while he and Darcy had been cooling their heels, he'd slept with Rita.  Maybe in some weird, twisted way, Darcy sleeping with Vivien was just tit for tat.  Granted, sleeping with Vivien was a disastrous choice, but not something that Diego had to deal with.  That was something Gen herself would have to deal with - emotionally and mentally.

So it felt calmer, watching Gen eat the cold burger, and then sit up to give him one of her patented annoyed and slightly pitying looks.  He blinked back at her, stealing some of her fries now, and eating them.  "What?  You say 'straight' like it's an insult," he said, using the most stereotypical hurt-feelings comeback that straight people used, when queer people called them straight.

But he did listen attentively when Gen explained, with the patience of a saint, about how it all worked.  There was very little he knew about Benjamin Soto's casefile, other than the basics. It was all in the name of protecting, and keeping the Sotos safe.  So he didn't realize Benjamin swung that way, and he really didn't realize that the 'husband' had been put under witness relocation as well.  Truth was, Diego had completely forgotten that gay marriage was even legal, and he had to remind himself at this point.  He could only imagine how loud his nieces would be berating him right now for being so clueless.  They'd be saying similar things to him as Darcy, only with more 'oh my god, Tio, you're so dumb' thrown in for good measure.

"Hunh," he grunted, but squinted in amusement when Gen gave him permission to use such verboten (in his mind) words.  "I dunno, honey.  In Texas, 'queer' is still used like an insult.  But...I guess that's mostly just among us straight people, huh."  He didn't sound angry or anything, just wry.  As if he was making some sort of point (he wasn't; or rather, his point wasn't interesting).  "I guess...well I guess it'd be like having three kids, and all of 'em are straight, huh?  No one ever points out how weird that is, do they."

_______________________

Gen let out a long sigh and tilted her head at Diego as she gave him a look. This wasn't the first time she's heard this response, though given how the last couple of years have been going, she hasn't heard it in a while. "I don't say straight as an insult, Diego, I say it as a fact. Cause you are one. Which is showing a whole lot right now."

He listened to her, though. It was one thing she could never say about him is that he wouldn't listen. He was ignorant and he happily lived in his own heterosexual bubble because it was easy, but when the topic came up and she tried explaining something to him, he always listened. Back when she told him she was pansexual, and now too. He was trying to understand, he just didn't really go out of his way to do so when he didn't have to or it didn't come up.

"Yeah, well, straight people like using these words as insults way too often, if you ask me. So if it's an insult in your mind, then definitely don't use it, everyone will be able to tell you're using it as such. But at the same time you should just accept them and think of them as not insults. They are just the people's sexualities, nothing else."

"You said one of your nieces was on the spectrum, right?" she asked. She thought she remembered Diego mention it to her during their last similar conversation, but she wasn't sure if she remembered wrong. "Do you talk about these things with her?"

She ate some fries as she thought of Benji and Finley. They are what started this whole conversation. "I didn't know they got married, by the way. My brother and his boyfriend. Well, husband now. Finley - that's his husband's name -, asked me to help look for rings not too long before everything happened, but I wasn't sure if he got put in the witness protection, too, and if they got to stay together or not. But this was the best-case scenario. At least they were together and they could help each other through it."

_______________________

Diego grinned then and shrugged.  "I gotta be me...which I suddenly get now.  The ga- the people who aren't straight gotta be them too.  My nieces would be so proud of me now."  He seemed contented at Darcy's advice to not try and use the words she used so freely.  From her, 'gay' and 'queer' sounded free-flowing, comfortable.  Coming out of his mouth, he knew it would just sound unnatural, borderline insulting.  He laughed lowly when she asked about his nieces.

"On the spectrum..." he said, once more a term that was very novel to him.  Sex was a big part of his life, and the idea that there was a spectrum applied to it?  His poor straight mind boggled at the concept.  "Jesus christ, are you kidding me?  I'm their Uncle, Gen.  Kids don't want to talk to their uncles about that sort of shit.  And frankly I don't want to hear about it."  Before Gen got that tight disappointed look on her face, he raised his hand to add,  "What I mean is, I stay clear out of their entire dating and love lives and all that...grown-up stuff, as much as I can.  They might technically be adults now but they're still little girls to me.  They got their own friends to talk like that." He huffed.

"The only time they bring it up is just to make me and their mother all huffy.  For their own entertainment."  He didn't seem particularly bothered about this, though.  That was what nieces did - they poked fun of older family members for, well, being older.  Curiously, he asked,  "Do your folks know?  About you, or your brother?  Did you have to..." Diego searched for the term.  "Come...out?"

He supposed there was no harm now in Gen knowing that the brother and his...fella were married, or whatever.  Everything had to be so hush-hush for so long, it was good she got a few factoids to feed off of for the next few months of hell.  And Diego realized then, how much it sucked that she missed the wedding.  If there even was a wedding.

"That's true," he conceded, finishing up his food and then exhaling slowly.  "C'mon, let's go have a smoke out on the balcony."  He stood up, grabbing his pack of smokes from the desk.  "Also I just realized there's only one bed. And I didn't ask if you'd be okay with that."

_______________________

The big grin plastered on Diego's face as it all seemed to click for him was cute, even if all of this was a ridiculous conversation that Gen did not think they would be having this night out of all of it. But he was trying and he seemed to be taking small steps towards the right direction, which was definitely a good start. Gen let out a small chuckle at his indignation that he would be talking about his nieces sex lives with them. "I didn't mean about their sex lives, Diego, obviously you wouldn't wanna hear about that, I meant..." But she shook her head with a small smile. "Nevermind." She meant more about what it meant not being straight, but this was probably best to just let it go.

"Yeah, they know," she nodded as she ate the last of her fries. "I didn't really have a typical coming out experience, though. Benji had it all figured out a lot faster and a lot younger, I needed more time figure all of it, all of me, out, and by the time I got there I also realized just how little my parents were present in our lives. And to be fair to them, they did what they thought were best for us, which was work their butts off and provide us with financial security, but it meant they weren't really around, so I didn't really feel like I was required to have that proper sit down where I told them I was pansexual. I didn't lie to them, I just didn't openly tell them. They figured it out when I brought Vivien home for introductions."

It was more like when she announced she was bringing her home, which was probably for the best because a huge fight broke out after it that came down to 'why did you lie to us for years and years about this?' as if they were entitled to something so personal. She didn't really care about their reactions, but she remembered that she was glad Vivien didn't walk into that fight when they went over for a family dinner and she did question back then if not openly telling her parents before that was a mistake or not. And then she didn't see her parents for months after that dinner like it usually went, and she decided she probably did the right thing.

"Oh, god, yes, I'm in," Gen said as she pushed herself up from the bed at the thought of a smoke. "I'm guessing asking for some whiskey along with it would be impossible, right?" she joked, but that would have probably helped a lot with her mind in that moment, even if she knew unless Diego snuck in something under his coat, they wouldn't be drinking tonight.

And then he pointed out that there was only one bed for the two of them, which really should have registered for her sooner - he was spending his time here with her, he was taking a shower in this room's bathroom, of course this was both of their rooms and they would have to share it, what was she even thinking? But somehow she was way too occupied to notice and process any of this information, and she stopped for a moment as she heard those words because really?

Really?

It already felt like some kind of torture, the way he was being so nice and he was trying to comfort her through all of this, and now sleeping in the same bed together? The last time they were in a bed together, they fell asleep in each other's arms after spending a really long time ravishing each other and chasing the same pleasures, and now... fuck. She was fucked.

And she couldn't show any of this because he would offer to just sleep on the damn floor and then she couldn't ever convince him to come sleep on the bed cause he was stubborn like that.

So after the momentary freezing she quickly pulled herself together. "We're adults, right? And it's a big enough bed, anyway, there's enough room for both of us." They headed outside and Gen leaned against the railing and while Diego lit both of their cigarettes, she took the sight in - which was mostly the motel's weirdly lit pool and the buildings around them -, and then pushed herself up onto the railing. They were on the first floor and the railing was wide enough, she was good.

"Unless you would feel uncomfortable, in which case you are taking the bed and I'm taking the floor. And before you object, your face has a whole different color now and I'm pretty sure your dick suffered even more so, while the worst thing that happened to me is that I got a little scared. You don't need back pain added to the list of shit that happened to your body."

She was quiet for a few moments, taking a couple of drags from the cigarette and listening to the sounds of the city around them before she asked, "Do you ever think about what's the whole point of all of this? Everyone suffers through so much bullshit in their lives just for a few fleeting moments of happiness, and then all of it becomes pointless because you become nothing in the end anyway."

_______________________

Diego was about to ask how Gen's parents took it, when she brought a woman home for them to meet.  But although it seemed like Gen was able to bring up the mention of the memory with not too much issues, this was definitely not a good time to make Gen think even more about her past with Vivien Salazar.  It could too easily spiral into Gen feeling guilty and stupid for being duped by Vivien for all that time, blaming herself for everything that happened to her family.

So instead, he just nodded in understanding.  "Parents can be tricky," he said vaguely.  A moment of silence and then he added,  "I suppose we have that in common, sort of.  I'm closer to my sister than I am to my mother.  Or father, when he was alive."  It wasn't always the case, but Diego always considered his childhood to be complicated but completely normal at the same time.  He said he loved his family - he was Latino, of course he loved his family - but it hadn't been difficult to move into law enforcement and travel for work.

Getting up (and minutely thrilled that Gen was going to join him for a smoke), Diego chuckled as Gen asked about whiskey.  "I don't think the motel stocks a minibar, no.  We'll have to make do with sobriety."  In the dimness of the room, he didn't notice Gen's apprehension about the one bed, or he didn't read into it too deeply.  Perhaps because he also felt someone antsy about it, if only because they'd been fighting before Vivien showed up, and technically had called their whole...sleeping-together thing off.

Hadn't they?  Everything had changed, when Vivien showed up.  The reasons for Diego's anger no longer mattered.  Did the reasons still matter to Gen?  He wasn't sure how long she could hold on to old fights, but he supposed he'd know by tonight.

Fortunately it seemed like Gen chose to take the high road, and Diego was more than fine with that.  He handed her one lit cigarette and leaned against the corridor railing,.  "Okay.  That sounds fine," he said, when Gen laid it out so reasonably.  He puffed, wondering if he should mention assurances that he wouldn't touch her or try to make any moves on her while they were in bed - god, he felt so confused about where they stood on their...thing together.  But it was hardly the most important problem that either he or Gen had right now - but then Gen kept talking.  Or rather, in her trademark way, she started overthinking it.

He choked on his cigarette when she casually mentioned his dick, and Diego coughed indignantly.  "My bit and tackle are in fine working order, thank you very much, madam," he said huffily, his manhood clearly feeling threatened (albeit in a comical way).  "It just ain't gonna be directed at you, is all."  He winced when he said that last bit.  He'd meant it to mean he wasn't going to try and get frisky, put Gen in a position where she felt she had to reject intimacy.  Which would be understandable and her right.  But it just came out weird and petty.

He leaned his back against the railing to face her.  "What I mean is, I'm fine.  I can sleep on the floor if that's what you prefer.  No way in hell I'm letting you sleep on any fucking floor, and don't argue with me about women doing what men can do or whatever.  This is simply because - because maybe I got beat up on the face...and other parts of me.  But you got beat up inside, and in your head.  And you know what doctors always say - internal injuries are worse than external ones."

Of course, Diego took that out of context, since he didn't mean Gen's internal organs, but rather her emotional and mental beatdown.  "So that hurt head of yours deserves a nice...creaky, springy, misshapen bed more'n I do.  No argument, Gen, I mean it."

Gen's questions turned philosophical then, and Diego welcomed the change of pace.  He smoked slowly then.  "This is a conversation best had over a bottle of whiskey," he said.  "But since we don't have a whiskey, then...I think what you've gone through is extraordinary, Gen.  As in, I don't think it's what most people have to deal with.  Not to downplay other people's shit - I know you wouldn't like me doing that - but I'm just saying more people's ups and downs at least have context and they can reference the same shit around them to know how to deal with their own shit.  You?  What on god's green earth would ever prepare you for your girlfriend turning out to be a crime boss?  That's not normal shit.  That's one in a million. That's extraordinary."

He stubbed his cigarette out.  "Guess you're just special that way, honey."

_______________________

Gen watched Diego with careful consideration as he mentioned that parents could be difficult, and then mentioned his dad. She could only remember him mentioning him once before, and it was in not so positive light, and she wanted to ask about him, see if she could get Diego to talk about his family and his parents a little more, understand where he was coming from better, but then decided to go into a completely different route. "You don't really talk about them," she said. "Your parents, mainly, but your family in general either. Is that because this is a job and you don't want to let too much information slip out, or you just don't like talking about them in general?"

She was expecting Diego's reply about the whiskey, but she was still disappointed he wasn't hiding even just a little bit of alcohol somewhere hidden on him. If there was a night to get drunk and try to forget everything, it was this night for sure. "The motel should definitely think about it. The minibar is one of the easiest way to overcharge the customers, and I assume a lot of their customers would be delighted to splurge on the cheapest thing they could possibly find." It's probably for the better, though. She wouldn't need a headache the next morning - either the FBI would have more questions and dealing with them with a hangover would be a bitch, or some other official business that she'd need to do that she would be better for sober.

She chuckled at his indignation and him calling her madam, but her smile didn't last long. It just ain't gonna be directed at you, is all. He needed to make sure she knew just because they were sleeping in the same bed potentially, nothing changed between them. And in general, she respected him for it, not wanting to betray Rita like that. But on the other hand, the reminder was like a cold bucket of water being suddenly poured all over her body. For a few moments she could just forget about it, but now she was painfully brought back down to reality and she didn't know how to react. Except for the annoyed, quiet muttering that she couldn't help letting slip out from under her nose, "Don't worry, I wasn't planning on jumping you or anything," and then took a long, hard drag of the cigarette.

Thankfully he kept talking, though, and so she focused on that instead of the stupid way her heart panged and how for the first time she wondered if maybe Diego not sticking around and not being there for her through all of this would be better. She would miss him, Jesus fuck she would miss him, but at least she wouldn't be reminded constantly of what she fucked up and could never have.

She tilted her head, giving Diego a look. "You know that's about internal bleeding and my organs, not my mental state, right?" Her voice was just a touch bit sharp and annoyed. She didn't mean to carry over the annoyance that she felt after his comment, but she couldn't help it, it just came out. She cleared her throat, forcing herself to get her shit together. "And when have I ever not argued with you? Really, Diego, you are not sleeping on the floor, I'm not going to let that happen. I will kick you up onto the damn bed if I have to," she said, the last of her words more teasing than anything else.

"So you won't let me sleep on the floor, I won't let you sleep on the floor, we're back to being adults and sleeping in the same bed, huh?" It was going to be a torture and she felt even more grateful for the possibility of a sleeping pill. She could just take it and push through the time while it hits and then she wouldn't spend the entire night not only reliving everything that happened in the past 24 hours, but also over-analyzing Diego sleeping a few inches from her.

"See? I told you we would need whiskey," she joked but she listened to Diego quietly while smoking, purposefully ignoring him calling her honey again. She was wondering how long she could take it. She already just wanted to snap at him and tell him to stop calling her that because it was messing with her head. "I don't wanna be special like this. But I guess nobody would. It's funny, though. I used to want to be special. And I don't mean that I wanted to be a princess when I was four, even though I did, but I-- I wanted to be that one in a million. I wanted to prove to everyone around me that I could be that one person who just rises and rises and rises to the top and becomes outstanding." She let out a bitter chuckle. "I guess I became outstanding in a very different meaning of the word. And now all I wanna be is normal, and that's the one thing that isn't in the cards."

She shook her head. "Fuck, my head is full of... all of this bullshit. I can't-- I just can't. Tell me something fun. Something good that made you happy or made you laugh or something. Anything that isn't related to... all of this. Please."

_______________________

"A little of both, I suppose,"  Diego replied with a half-shrug.  He'd never really had friends, ergo he never really talked about his family.  Even when it came to falling in love - with Helena - she'd known him growing up, and when they met as adults, they were in a situation far too dire to reminisce about their pasts.  "You're the first person who's asked so many dang questions."  He said it gruffly, but not meanly.  He gave a low laugh when she tried to lighten the mood, talk about profit for the motel via minibars.

"Maybe the rooms usually do have minibars.  But this motel's used a lot for federal business, so I'll bet you they remove the minibar whenever they know a fed's taking up the room.  Too many of us are alcoholics and your tax money shouldn't go to pay for our drinking problems."  He was teasing lightly of course, just going off of Gen's own riffing.

Because what she said next (completely due to his own faux pas) made everything feel tense again.  "That's not what I --oh forget it.  We should just - right.  Yea.  Let's just be adults and sleep in one bed.  Jesus, it's no big deal."  Cigarette break over, Diego headed back inside, to brush his teeth one more time.

He started to brush, then came out of the bathroom to talk to her more.  Granted he was talking around his toothbrush, but he didn't seem to notice.  "You always argue with me, but I keep hoping in vain that this ONE time you'll actually listen to me.  That's what crazy people do right?  Repeat the same thing and hope for different results?  You drive me crazy."  In more ways than one, but regardless, Diego pointed at the side of the bed that was closer to the exit door.  "That's my side." he told her, before going back into the bathroom to spit and rinse.

She was right - no one who didn't ask for that life, should be considered the type of special that Gen currently was.  But Diego returned, wiping his face with a face towel as he listened to Gen talking.  Revealing something about herself that to Diego sounded so profound and deep.  He was struck by how vulnerable it seemed.  And she was sharing this with him, out of the blue.

"It's not bullshit,"  Diego was quick to respond.  "It's not bullshit at all.  It's...it's fine.  I can't say I understand, but at the same time...I dunno.  It's fine, Gen, you're..."  He wanted to reach out to her and hold her then, but something made him resist.  Everything just felt too prickly then; and an embrace might be taken the wrong way.  So instead he maneuvered past her, to get to his side of the bed.

"Me?  You want me to tell you something fun?  You do know who you're talking to right?"  Diego joked, sitting on the edge of the bed, but turning to look at her.  "Mr NoFun Guy here.  But listen - just, go brush your teeth and...whatever else girls do in the bathroom before bed.  I'll find us some nice movie or fun tv-show to watch before we pass out, hm?  That's as much fun as I can do.  Oh - and I got a bottle of painkillers, they're on the sink.  Feel free to help yourself.  Might help you get to sleep."

_______________________

Gen quickly finished up the last of the cigarette and then headed back inside after Diego, settling down onto the bed while she waited for Diego to finish and suddenly feeling a whole new kind of awkward and unsure of what to do with herself. She agreed with what she said, they were adults and the bed was big, they could spend the entire night never touching, but it still felt... well, it felt like too much. Maybe because of her newfound realization (it felt kind of insane that she barely realized her feelings for Diego less than 24 hours ago, the last 24 hours felt like a week, maybe even a whole month instead of just a single day), maybe because so many things happened she just felt emotionally drained and this was just the cherry on top, maybe because the last time they were in the same bed, things between them were a whole different situation, but it just felt a lot and she didn't know how to really handle it.

Thankfully Diego was here, though, acting like it was the most normal thing on the world and making it seem like they did this every single night. (Which was a whole kind of weird in her mind, but at least it was something she could roll with.)

When Diego came out of the bathroom, toothbrush in his mouth while he was talking around it, she couldn't help a half snort, half chuckle that escaped her. It was cute. And amusing. And more domestic than she'd like to think, so she pushed that part to the side. "Isn't there like a rule that you can't be crazy if you are aware that you're crazy?" she mused aloud, teasing. "Or that might be just Catch 22. Not sure."

She nodded to the declaration of the side and when he came out and babbled a bit, trying to comfort her. He was trying, she could tell, and she appreciated it, but he wasn't really able to say anything helpful either, not that she expected him, and she gave him a small, appreciative smile before heading into the bathroom herself while he was talking about just how unfun he was and the plan for the rest of the night.

She quickly brushed her teeth and washed her face again and took a painkiller, hoping it would actually go to sleep. By the time she got back to the room, Diego found something on the tv and she climbed into bed next to him, making sure to keep the distance. The moment her head hit the pillow, it was like her body finally caught up to everything that happened and she felt nothing but sheer exhaustion. And even though her brain started running like it always did, maybe the painkillers were working, maybe everything that happened was too much even for her, but she fell asleep relatively quickly compared to how long it usually took her.

#——diego chavez (024) #——phone call in a quiet night in

[olive-the-olive]

AA Secret Santa Gift!

Hey y’all! I wrote a fic for @loopsies as part of the Ace Attorney Secret Santa @aasecretsanta2017! You can read it here on Ao3, or below the cut.

Christmas Eve, 2019

When Edgeworth called Detective Gumshoe to inform him that he would be back in the country shortly before Christmas, he expected the detective to offer to pick him up at the airport, as he'd done every other time Edgeworth had a flight.

He was not expecting Gumshoe to say, “Are you sure about flying so close to the holidays, sir?”

The detective had never been the most observant man Miles Edgeworth had known, but he supposed that certain things were obvious after a while. Gumshoe certainly knew more about his personal history than most people. Perhaps more than anyone, at this point. He would know turbulence could trigger an episode, and he was aware that things got worse around Christmas.

“I'll be fine,” said Edgeworth, perhaps more brusquely than he had intended.

“The airport just gets real crowded that time of year!” said Gumshoe, as if that had been his only concern all along. “When do you get in? I can give you a ride home!”

-

Flying the day before Christmas was perhaps more difficult than he had maintained. The crowd and the noise were endurable, barely, but the other passengers got to him, a little.

It wasn't the lone traveler that affected him. It was the families, flying to visit grandparents probably, or perhaps some other member of their extended family. There was something about seeing a couple explain patiently to their daughter what the seatbelt light signified that reminded him, painfully, of his last Christmas with his father.

Thankfully, there was no turbulence.

-

It was 6:02 pm on Christmas Eve when Edgeworth recognized Detective Gumshoe's very secondhand car (which was still somehow nicer than the one he'd crashed during State vs. Engarde) pull up in front of the terminal. The detective helped him with his bags without him saying anything, and was infectiously enthusiastic to see him.

“You sure are a sight for sore eyes, Mr Edgeworth. It's just a shame that you being here doesn't automatically make my job easier anymore.”

“It is good to see you too, Detective. How are things down at Criminal Affairs?” asked Edgeworth, mildly interested in keeping up. Gumshoe did tell him these sorts of things over the phone, but it had been a good month since he'd last asked.

“Pretty busy! They're handing out new cases instead of bonuses this year.”

“And the Prosecutor's Office?”

“Well, they're managing. They don't have the kind of win record they do when you're around though, sir. It was a shame to lose you.”

“Hm.” Edgeworth was quite sure the courts here were a mess without him. Wright's recent disbarment had been proof of that. They'd gotten nowhere on that, and whatever clout Edgeworth had he'd shot to hell with the stunts he'd pulled with the Prosecutorial Investigation Committee. It probably didn't help that he'd slowly moved his career overseas as well.

“On that subject, detective, I appreciate you doing me the favor of picking me up, given that I'm not actively working here and it's not part of your job. It isn't taking you away from your actual duties, is it?”

“No sir! And uh, it technically wasn't part of my job before either, sir,” mumbled the detective,

“My point is that this was not a professional obligation, on your part,” said Edgeworth, frustrated with how the words were coming out. “I'm not on a business trip.” Although technically, the trip wasn't exactly for pleasure either. He was here to do research; he wasn't one to hop on planes needlessly, despite what certain people might say about him.

“Well, I guess I never saw it as a professional thing or an obligation or anything,” said Gumshoe, as if he was thinking of this for the first time. “I mean I guess you were kinda hard on me sometimes, but I wouldn't do this kinda stuff for my boss in the actual police department, even if he was a real hard-ass about it.”

“I find that hard to believe,” said Edgeworth.

Gumshoe was just the sort of person who lived to please, and even when he was trying to not do something for someone, he was often easily manipulated into whatever had been asked of him in the first place. Edgeworth had personally witnessed Wright talk Gumshoe into handing over the entire contents of an investigation in under five minutes.

“I'm just saying, I care about you,” said Gumshoe thoughtfully, eyes forward but maybe not as focused on the road as a passenger would want them to be. “Always have.”

“Ah,” said Edgeworth, not knowing precisely what to say. Gumshoe was usually an easy person to talk to, but he felt tense, like anything he said would likely be wrong. “You have... done a lot for me over the years. And you are right that I was hard on you. I am probably not the easiest person to work with. But I appreciate what you have done. I...” He hesitated. “I owe you a lot, I suppose.”

“I owe you too, pal!” insisted Gumshoe. “I mighta been falsely convicted of a double homicide if it weren't for you!”

Edgeworth scoffed. “Oh please. Any competent investigator would've dragged the truth out of you before long.”

“I don't know about that, I was prepared to take the secret of that Swiss roll to my grave.”

They were strangely silent the rest of the drive. Gumshoe pulled into his driveway, and started unloading the luggage for him before Edgeworth could get to it. He held out his hand for his bag, but Gumshoe held on to it, and Edgeworth did not insist.

Edgeworth walked up to his front door, and noticed several things as he unlocked it and entered. One, there was a severe yet festive wreath on the door. Two, the surface of the small table just inside the entrance was completely free of dust. And three, the house was much warmer than the brisk December air outside.

“Have you been cleaning my house?” He'd almost forgotten that Gumshoe had a key.

Gumshoe carefully placed the bags in the hall, so that they would be on the way to the bedroom. “Well, yeah. Didn't want it to be all dusty when you got home. You're always sneezing in the records room.”

Then clean the records room, thought Edgeworth. “And decorating for the holidays?” he asked, although he already had an idea who was responsible for that.

Gumshoe hemmed and hawed a little, but Edgeworth heard a familiar female voice coming from his kitchen. Two of them, in fact. He made his way towards the kitchen.

“-and that is how I apprehended the foolish fool. I secured his extradition and he'll be facing trial in his home country,” Franziska was sitting at the counter, telling Kay something suitably impressive about her adventures as an international prosecutor, no doubt. The two of them had cups and saucers in front of them, and the kitchen smelled slightly of a tea Edgeworth was certain had cost him a lot of money.

“Franziska? Kay? What are you doing in my house?”

Franziska greeted him with her usual bravado, as if to ask him what he could possible be doing in his house. “Miles Edgeworth! It took you long enough to show up. I'll have you know I am apprehending a thief I caught breaking into your home. Do let me know if you will be pressing charges.”

“Aww, he wouldn't!” said Kay, grinning.

“It looks to me like you are having tea with the thief,” said Edgeworth. “And I will not be pressing charges, but I may ask you to replace the tea.”

“Told you!”  Kay got up and nearly knocked him over with a rib crushing hug. He was certain he would die of suffocation, but soon she released him to hug Gumshoe instead. “What took you and Gummy so long?”

“Well the airport's pretty busy around now, pal.”

“Yes,” agreed Franziska. “I myself had a flight less than a week ago and it was quite packed. So many sentimental fools falling over themselves to visit their families.”

“And yet here you are,” said Edgeworth, matching her self-satisfied smirk. It was essential to make it clear that they were each one-upping each other with every exchange. It was the only way they knew how to communicate.

“Apprehending thieves, as I told you. Although I did think that you, being a sentimental fool yourself, might be happy to see me. I hope you weren't expecting presents under a tree?”

Edgeworth could have laughed. He hadn't gotten presents under a tree on Christmas since he was a child. He was fairly certain the only gifts he'd ever received in the Von Karma household were legal texts, and those had not been wrapped.

“Then the wreath on my door in the shape of a prosecutor's badge was not your doing?”

“That is not a gift, Miles Edgeworth. It is a reminder of what you stand for, and of what I expect you to live up to in the coming year. You cannot let me leave you too far behind. Or, at least make an attempt to try and keep up. It will make it all the more satisfying when I leave you in the dust.”

He noted that she had taken to wearing her own badge, although he knew they had both been taught it was more fashionable to keep it in one's pocket. In truth, Edgeworth didn't really care whether Franziska had “surpassed” him. He was quite happy that her career had taken off. She had closed some very high profile international cases in just the last few months (and kept him abreast of all she had accomplished as soon as it was no longer confidential). But she cared about their supposed rivalry, and was likely still worried he might abandon his profession entirely, despite his resolution to remain a prosecutor.

“Thank you, Franziska. I appreciate the reminder. But I'm afraid I haven't gotten you anything.” Looking back at Gumshoe and Kay he said, “I'm afraid I haven't done any gift shopping at all.”

He wanted to say he hadn't been thinking of the holiday season, but of course that would have been a lie. There were few things that weighed on his mind more heavily.

“Aw, that's okay,” said Kay. “You can just buy me something later!”

“Don't count on it,” he replied, knowing perfectly well that he would absolutely buy her whatever poorly made piece of Jammin' Ninja merch she asked for.

He made some more tea for himself and for Gumshoe, and for a while he just caught up on what everyone else was doing with their lives, and they asked him about his research into foreign legal systems. Kay liked to proclaim that this was extremely boring conversational material, but he could tell she was listening closely.

And he realized after a while that there was a sense of peace, in sitting here with people who were important to him, drinking tea and just talking. He knew the next few days would be bad. He might have nightmares. He could even have a flashback while he was awake. Those were rare for him but it had happened before. And it could happen this week. But in this moment and in this place, he felt peace, and none of his usual bitterness towards the impending holiday or the days ahead.

For the first time in 18 years, he had a family to celebrate with.

#ace attorney #fanfiction #my writing #miles edgeworth #lmao the suggested tag there was #genre: miles edgeworth #dick gumshoe #franziska von karma #kay faraday

[the-little-matchstick]

Prisoners of War Ch. 1 - Linstead fanfiction

This is the first chapter of the first linstead fanfic I’m posting here... Angsty Linstead focusing on Jay. Takes place some time after mid-season 4. Hope you like it! Enjoy! :) For @halsteadandlindsay because you’re my first cpd-lovin friend on tumblr! Also for not blocking me after my last few messages hahaha! :D

...

“Jay, stay home. Or Voight’s just going to send you back. You’re hotter than our radiator!”

“Erin, I’m fine, ok? Just a little temperature. It’s probably because we left the window open last night. Anyway, the office is a lot warmer than your apartment.”

“Our apartment,” Erin corrected. She let out a slow, shallow sigh, shaking her head. “Ok, whatever. If you’re not going to listen to me, if it has to come from Voight, sure –”

“Erin.” Jay pleaded, reaching for her hand to tug her closer. “I’m telling you, I don’t feel bad at all. Anyway, I’d be bored out of mind staying at home, when I know that we have an unsolved case I should be working on. Plus, I thought we promised to never go in without back up. Who’s gonna –”

“–Hank’s got me covered–”

“–take care of me?” he finished, smiling sweetly down at her with those classic Halstead puppy dog eyes. And though they were redder than usual, they didn’t fail to move her.

Erin scoffed, but her eyes were smiling despite herself. Stubborn manchild, she thought. What’s up with men and the tough-guy act?

“Okay…,” she groaned, giving up. She walked away so he wouldn’t see the smile that was tugging at her lips. He’s too sick to be at work…

“Love you, babe…” he called out from behind her as he went to grab his jacket.

“Sure, honey.” Erin replied, not quite ready to forgive his stupidity, or loyalty to the job, whatever it was. He’d have to wait for an ‘I love you’ – at least until she got to say her ‘I told you so’ when Jay finally gave out and went home early.

---

As she expected, the ‘it’s just a little temperature’ act had worn off very fast. The office might be warmer, but the tough case and the harsh glare of his computer screen were quickly tiring Jay out. She had sent him multiple stinging glances from across her table, silently saying ‘Satisfied yet? ’ every time he coughed or sniffled. Every time he stifled a tired groan. But Jay refused to leave.

She wasn’t ashamed of admitting that she’d even texted Hank a couple minutes back in secret, asking if he’d send her partner home. Her Sargent had wedged open the blinds a little to get a look at Jay immediately after.

Thankfully Jay hadn’t noticed, but it seems that Hank didn’t consider it a pressing issue, because the door to his office remained closed and her partner remained at his desk.

Either way, it didn’t matter. Because within the half hour, a couple key pieces of evidence brought the case near its end, and she noticed a noticeable shift in Jay’s behavior. Now that case was practically solved, he let out a huge sigh and excused himself for a coffee break, filling his cup slowly. Then he sat down at the coffee table rather than bringing his drink back to the desk as he usually did.

“You okay?” she asked as she walked into the room. She couldn’t bring herself to say ‘I told you so’ after he saw how tense and exhausted he looked, holding his face above the steaming cup.

“Oh, yeah. Not bad, considering.”

“Listen, I’ll handle the paperwork. Why don’t you go home now and – “

Jay began to refuse but Erin cut back in, saying, “Jay, I’m not asking this time. Get some rest. I’ll be there around 7.”

Jay didn’t know what to say. He didn’t deserve this woman. I love you was written all over his face.

“I love you too, Jay,” she laughed, sitting down across from him.

They spent a few more minutes in a comfortable silence, each savoring their warm coffee, hands cupped around the ceramic to absorb as much heat as possible. Spring was supposed to have arrived but the temperature had unexpectedly dropped to near freezing in anticipation of a storm.

Chicago. The cold never really leaves.

Erin grabbed their mugs when they finished and plopped them in the sink.

“Hey, you got ibuprofen at home?”

“Uh, no,” she said, turning around. “I have paracetamol though. It’s in the bathroom, top shelf.”

“No, I have a bad reaction to paracetamol. Blow up like a balloon,” Jay said, bringing his hands a few inches away from his face to demonstrate. “Never mind, I’ll go back to my old place and pick some up, I think I left a box. Have to pick up the mail anyway.”

“You haven’t changed your mailing address yet, Jay?” Erin asked, annoyance returning to her voice.

Jay had failed to find a buyer for his apartment immediately, and had been pushing off the task for weeks. She hadn’t realized he’d forgotten to forward his mail to their new home as well.

But she quickly changed her tune, realizing now was not the time. “Nevermind. Look, I’ll pick up the ibuprofen and the mail. Just get a taxi home, get some rest.” She stepped close to him and kissed him softly on the mouth, wrapping her arms tightly around his waist and sliding them up over his shoulder blades. He breathed in the smell of her, wanting to fall asleep in her arms right there.

Instead he forced himself to pull away and gave her hand a squeeze.

“Thank you, Erin. For everything. See you at home.”

She smiled. He said home like it was a sacred word.

…

Lindsay walked into Halstead’s old apartment complex. Traffic had been terrible and she’d taken longer than expected with the paperwork. It was now 7:45 and she was just walking into the lobby. She thought of messaging Jay to let him know she was almost home, but decided against it. He was probably asleep.

The large, well-furnished lobby was mostly empty, except for a pair of very fit guys, a woman with a lab mix who looked like she’d just been out running, and the security guard.

“I just started this gig last week.” The guard was saying to pair of men. “I really couldn’t tell you.”

Erin passed the three of them by, walking quickly. God, she was late. Poor Jay. The black-haired guy held her gaze for a second and then turned back to the guard. In front of her, the dog squatted down in preparation to do its business, right smack in the middle of the room. Jogger lady almost lost it, squealing in protest at her dog.

Aaaand there goes the carpet, she thought to herself.

She took the elevator up to Jay’s apartment, and found the ibuprofen right where he’d told her it would be, in the drawer of his bedside table.

No wonder he hasn’t gotten any buyers, she thought, as she slipped the box of tablets into her purse. The rooms all screamed man-cave, in contrast with the fact that the complex was situated in a very family-oriented neighborhood. No wife would want to raise her children in this apartment – at least not as matters stood with the brown leather couch and the dim, moody lighting. Jay had chosen this place because it was close to work and transformed the rooms to his liking. Now it was scaring off potential buyers.

Well, I can help with that, she thought, brightening at the prospect of an interior design project. She’d always wanted to do one.

She gave one last look at the place and then locked the door behind her. Back in the lobby, she fished Jay’s keys out again to open the mini-locker that stored his mail.

Most of the envelopes were addressed to Will. Erin shook her head again. Halsteads. Talk about unorganized.

“Excuse me, Ma’am?” came a voice from behind.

She turned around. It was the same pair of guys. She looked at them properly this time – one was brown haired and baby-faced, while the other one seemed older. They both wore polite smiles but she thought they looked exhausted.

“Yes?” she asked. Her voice came out raspier than usual and her throat felt tight. She was probably catching on whatever virus Jay had.

“That’s Jay Halstead’s mail, am I correct?” he asked. He was pointing at the name that was printed in bold letters across the locker she’d just closed.

“Yes…” she said, stating the obvious. Friends of Jay’s?

“Uh, well, would you perhaps know where he lives? Seeing as your collecting his mail? We’ve been trying to get a hold of him, but..”

“And you are..?”

“Oh, we were with him in the military, ma’am,” the older of the two replied. “He’s a real good friend of ours.”

“Uh, well,” Erin laughed, breaking into an awkward smile. “I do know where he lives…we live together, actually.” A good friend would know that. But she didn’t it aloud.

The pair seemed genuinely surprised. The older one finally said, “Oh, ok. And I’m sorry, we didn’t get to introduce ourselves. I’m Patrick and this is Liam.”

She shook their hands, introducing herself in turn. “Well, uh, if you don’t mind being around a sick Jay, then you’re free to follow my car and come over?” she offered, not sure of what to do. They seemed harmless enough. She wasn’t exactly thrilled to hear that Jay was going to be disturbed yet again, but she couldn’t very well not give the offer without coming off as a little rude.

To her dismay, they glanced at each other and then said ‘Yes, we’d really appreciate that, thank you.’

A little stiff, she thought of the polite pair, as she slipped into her car.

She dumped her purse in the passenger seat and pulled out of the parking lot, waiting by the curb till their car came up behind hers. Then she drove through the unforgiving rain as she mentally prepared herself for a long afternoon. She’d been so looking forward to the end of the day, had been planning on taking a nice bath to relax, and getting Jay to rest as well. Now those plans were put on hold.  

Oh well. Things could be a lot worse.

As she drove, she couldn’t shake off this uneasy feeling. Maybe it was paranoia – she was showing a couple of strangers straight to her home. But it felt silly to question them.

She knew that sentiment was the beginning of the hundreds of rape and sexual assault cases she had dealt with over the years. ‘I didn’t want to be rude, so I didn’t question them, I let them come inside my home…’ was how it went. She felt a pang of understanding for those victims and hoped she wasn’t making a mistake.

But they obviously knew Jay, and she recalled one time Jay had mentioned a friend from the military named ‘Lee’. Short form Liam? Possibly. As for Patrick, she didn’t know. 

She was racking her brain now about anything Jay might have said about his time in the military. He didn’t say much and she never pushed him. She knew it was a tough place for him to revisit and she could very well understand his desire not to open up that Pandora’s box.  Anyway, it would have to come up eventually - he would tell her when he was ready and she wasn’t in any rush. Their relationship with the rock in her life. Jay was her anchor. They faced enough heartbreak at work. No need to bring it back home with them. Her thoughts went in circles, thinking about everything she’d heard from Jay and Mouse and Will about his time in the military. But she couldn’t come with anything so she turned her attention fully back to the road and weaved through the night-time traffic.

She got out of her car once outside her apartment, and walked up to the two of them to lead the way.

“So are you two still in the military?”

“Oh, no, ma’am. We went back to civilian life around the same time as Jay.”

“Call me Erin,” she insisted, smiling. The pair was way too formal for her liking. Solemn, even. But her warmth didn’t earn much more than a forced smile in return.

“Come on, this way,” she said, guiding them inside. The three of them stepped into the elevator. It was a little crowded, and to break the silence, she asked, “Jay’s going to be glad to see you.”

Patrick flinched.

“I mean, he doesn’t talk about his time in the military very often, but when he does, you can tell he loves his old team as though they were his own brothers.”

Patrick nodded and gave another close-lipped smile that didn’t reach his eyes.

“So what brings you around, out of the blue?” Erin asked, silently grateful that the elevator had finally pinged and opened on to her floor. She walked out and turned the key in her door.

From behind her she heard, “Ah, do you think I could get some water, Erin?”

“Uh sure,” she said, wondering if they hadn’t caught her question. These guys just get stranger and stranger, she thought. Her paranoia rose again, when she heard the sound of water falling from the shower. She’d didn’t want to be alone with these guys. They just seem… off. Somehow, the gun at her hip wasn’t any comfort.

She went straight to the kitchen and filled up two glasses with water. She put them on a tray and placed it on the coffee table as Patrick and Liam made their way into the living room.

“Jay’s in the shower, I’ll just call him,” she explained and they nodded.

She went to knock on the bathroom door and said ‘Jay, we have guests, okay? Don’t take your time in there’. She heard a muffled ‘Okay, Linds,’ through the door. The sound of his voice calmed her nerves a little.

When she got back to the living room, Patrick and Liam were both on their feet, facing the back wall, where she’d hung their picture frames.

She moved toward them, and opened her mouth to say something and then –

Her heart jumped up into her throat.

No.

No.

No.

#cliffhangerslut #sorrynotsorry #linstead #fanfiction #fanfic #jay halstead #erin lindsay #chicago pd #cpd