#'stuck in the middle' maybe

[virtu4l-di4ry]

cas confessing to dean in 12.12 and then last second being like “actually i love all of you.” is so fucking hilarious. bro waiting until he was dying AND STILL BACKED OUT 😭😭😭

#to be fair maybe he knew he was gonna surivive idk man #cas’ confessions #spn 12x12 #spn 12.12 #stuck in the middle (with you) #spn #deancas #destiel #castiel #dean winchester #im 14 again except now i have a degree and i fuck #me yapping

[tinybro]

jasico server was chatting about the cupid scene and jason getting nico's memories blasted straight into his brain and how jason being shot with one of cupid's arrows while with nico and this was just never brought up in canon again and now i'm thinking like...what if that's just how cupid's arrows work? not by magically manifesting love for someone out of nothing, but by giving someone the perspective that'd make them fall in love naturally? jason gets a front row seat to nico's memories and instantly understands him intimately and can trust him completely without any doubt or suspicion

so what if jason, after slowly realizing he's totally in love with nico, just thought back to the arrow incident and it made him second-guess everything? because maybe he's only feeling this way because cupid hit him with an arrow with only nico was around and it's no different than any other god messing with his love life

#i live for anything that drags out the pining/pre-relationship period as long as possible okay #give me the drama of jason frustrated about constantly being manipulated by gods #in love with nico but convinced it's just cupid fucking with him and not wanting nico to get dragged into it #maybe telling nico eventually because he's having trouble hiding his feelings and he doesn't wanna hurt nico by confusing him #which is of course an emotional rollercoaster for nico #hearing jason say he's in love with him only to then immediately hear that it's just godly fuckery #nico agreeing to help jason find cupid to get it reversed because he knows how much it sucks having feelings for someone unwillingly #and he doesn't want jason stuck mooning over someone like him just because he was unkucky enough to be with nico for the cupid incident #whole quest in which nico develops feelings in return and angsts because he's sure jason only feels that way because of the arrow #maybe a slip-up in the middle somewhere with nico accidentally revealing he likes jason back before backpedaling wildly #so now jason has hope despite himself because he'd never really thought it was possible anyway given nico's feelings for percy #and he doesn't like being manipulated by gods but he doesn't mind the idea of being in love with nico #and what if he just gave up on the hunt for cupid entirely and let it happen #while nico feels guilty since clearly it's just cupid arrow magic fucking with jason and he's enabling it #and then of course when they finally find cupid he explains how his arrows work and that he can't just FORCE someone to be in love #no more than hera could with jason and piper by fucking with their memories to push them together #cupid's methods are just way more effective #my tag babble ended up longer than the actual post oh my god #pjo #jasico #my dumb headcanons

[ghostinthegallery]

Re-reading Twice Dead King, the character I was most struck by on a second viewing was Mentep. Now there’s a tragic figure. Simultaneously a mentor, an ally, an antagonist, someone so terribly understandable who I want to smack upside the head for being a lying liar who lies.

Ultimately, Mentep is a penitent. He has committed terrible acts (that we only get scant details of) and he wants to redeem himself. Thanks to his tampering with his own memories, he doesn't fully know what he is repenting for, which puts him in a bind. However, he knows that he played a role in creating the flayer curse/longing sickness, so he goes to a planet where a high concentration of them have gathered and works on his cure. He's respected, he's able to do his work with only occasional interruptions from the local angsty youth. Things are good-ish (until the armada shows up.)

Mentep and Oltyx have a weird relationship. Despite being his normal asshole-teenager self, Oltyx does respect Mentep more than most. Trusts Mentep enough to let the guy perform experimental brain surgery on him. Twice. And Mentep is able to be much more candid with Oltyx in return. He's one of the few consistently calling Oltyx out for his bullshit. On the surface, it is a standard mentor relationship, but what got me on a second reading is that there is hardly a single conversation Mentep has with Oltyx where he isn’t lying to and/or manipulating him.

It starts early with Yenekh. Mentep knows Yenekh has been suffering from the curse, he hasn’t told Oltyx, and when he finally has to tell him, he conveniently does so right before distracting everyone with the “oh btw, we’re all gonna die to a giant human armada” news. This is done with the best of intentions. Mentep wants to protect Yenekh (and Oltyx, in his way), so he delivers the news this way to get the bad news out of the way and then both of them on the same side. But it is the start of a pattern.

Which we get again when Mentep fails to mention a that Antikef is a flayer den ruled by a “We have Illuminor Szeras at home” Vizier, and boy does that end badly for Oltyx (see the last 60% of Ruin). Naturally, Mentep has a good explanation:

But it is another lie, one that costs Oltyx dearly (put a pin in this, I am coming back to it.)

There's some little fibs and ommissions along the way as they go to Carnotite, but it all builds up to The Big Lie. The one that sends Oltyx spiraling and gets Mentep killed. Because you know what really helps with paranoia? Finding out your mentor and your best friend have been hiding a secret blood pit in your basement! Again, it makes sense why Mentep is lying about this! He has every reason to believe Oltyx would have rejected the flayed ones he and Yenekh were sheltering (he in fact does exactly this), and Mentep's entire goal is to cure the curse to atone for his role in its creation. However...

I think Oltyx is correct to call Mentep out here (Oltyx is wrong about most things, but not this). Somewhere a long the way he became a means to an end for Mentep. Mentep was focused on The Curse and not the person in front of him who was cursed. He used Oltyx's friendship with Yenekh, his need to save his kingdom, his trust, his fears, all in service of admirable goals, but he was using Oltyx. Is it any wonder this is where it ended?

The lies were Mentep's undoing from the start. Remember the lie about Antikef? The one that led to all the events of Ruin? Yes, Oltyx and Djoseras did talk and avoid a civil war, but Oltyx also went through hell. He saw his home turned into an abbattoir, his father reduced to barely more than an animal. Oltyx was literally vivisected and almost consumed by his own dysphoria. And then committed regicide after leaving his brother behind to die. Antikef is where Oltyx truly learned that compassion was weakness and saw how horrific the flayer curse could become. So how was he ever going to accept the flayed ones as Mentep wanted him to? Oltyx experienced the comically perfect combination of traumas to ensure that would never happen, thanks in part to Mentep's manipulations.

I cannot stress enough that Mentep's individual lies all made sense at the time. May have even been the best option, at the time. But the consequences piled up, and even as he is dying he still refuses to give Oltyx even a scrap of the truth. That is the core of his tragedy for me. Well, that and this:

He bases all of his manipulations on his understanding of people's psyche's, which are usually accurate, but it also traps them. It gives them no room to grow or surprise him or for outside factors to come in and intervene. Contrast this with Zultanekh, who is upfront to a fault. He gives Oltyx advice and resources, but what Oltyx does with those things is up to him. Even when he is screwing up royally, he's allowed to make those mistakes. Mentep causes ones of Oltyx's darkest hours (the secret blood pit), while Zultanekh lifts him out of another (the Blood Angel's attack). In the end, Zultanekh is the one who sees Oltyx's true growth and witnesses the birth of his kingdom. A birth that comes not from curing the curse but embracing it.

There was never a sickness to be fixed, which means Mentep never would have achieved his redemption because he was focused on the wrong things. Which does make his death and rebirth as Xott a bit of a reflection of Oltyx. He was too burdened in his first life, but in his second he (or at least a version of him) was able to witness the people he hurt reaching a place of peace.

#warhammer 40k #necrons #twice dead king #oltyx #mentep #shit this one got long #I have a lot of thoughts about the sad robots okay #pro tip: maybe constantly lying to the paranoid teenager with anger issues isn't gonna end well for anybody #side note I do wonder if Mentep's habit of manipulation came from his time on Carnotite #That place got scary man #learning how to work people may have become a survival tactic that he just internalized #poor yenekh stuck in the middle #my boy did not deserve that #zultanekh repeatedly proving that he is best

[worstloki]

Thor 1 has so much banger dialogue and visuals that are that way because of the very specific context they’re in and I love that for them despite all the tilted angle shots 💯✨👍

#the movie is actually so so good for analysis for a bunch of narrative reasons which is cool #I’m still smitten by the use of colours alone #the way so much is implied but through proper integration into the setting #it’s very evident with the relationship establishment especially and I love that #because it does so much in a small amount of time??? #a lot of the movie is slow but the meaning of what’s going on happens pretty concisely #like oh Thor is on Earth thinking he’s stuck for the foreseeable future and is becoming less arrogant and more aware of consequences #and how he is able to make mistakes #and ah maybe the way I interact with others should be more considerate to their perspective #and there is knowledge and stories that can and should be learnt and shared #etc. #the COLOURS #I love the use of cool and warm tones so so so so so so much #it’s so clever #the entire movie is colour coordinated #forget the camera angles Thor’s fall from grace STILL landed him in a golden desert albeit in the middle of the night #while Loki on Asgard had the blue tones EVERYWHERE #like BROOO #the times he had gold it was when he was in the room with Odin/Frigga and trying to ‘save’ Asgard by killing Laufey #he went to meet Thor when he was captured by SHIELD and things were WHITE #THEY WERE WHITE

[mydictionary-yume]

“Hello Kitty, こんにちは!”

This was highly inspired by the style of the dance MV for Popcorn!! Def check it out if you can, it’s a banger<3

(Click for higher quality lol)

#I love this art style maybe I’ll use it more #but it’s crazy what having a song stuck in your head in the middle of the night can achieve<3 #I struggle to draw cute fluffy art so we’ve gotta settle for me just making silly things that interest me hehe >:3c #LC’s wonky art #yume time #acting angels #yume art #selfship art #self ship #selfship #self ship art #self ship community #selfship community #yea I think that’s all the tags I need lol

[this-should-do]

god i am obsessed eith the tonal shift between ahlf life 1 and 2 in regard to the sense of success at ur accomplisments

in 1, nothing you do ever gives u a sense of success or accomplishment, u killed people, u killed aleins but u have so much more to do. its an empty feeling, oh u killed the tentacles? cool go down the hole, dog urself deeper into this mess. oh you killed the gargantua and turned on the railway? go down deeper into the water and blood deeper into the bowels of the beast you created of the facility. you kill the nihilanth and u look up at the fireworks knoeing you are going to die, you cannot escape the explosion and the mess youve created. ur pulled from the mess and you are told you have guranteed urself a future of killing and endless battles or a battle u can never win. mothing you do matter none of it is worth anything. you are cold and alone and soaked in blood and people are only getting more scared

but in 2 the mood shifts, the smallest battles give people hope for a future. you can kill even a few soldiers and even if you do have to go deeper, the people around you cheer, if only for a moment, theyre alive and breathing and so are you. so many things yo do youre asked to do them again and again and each time these people are excited, thwyre grasping for a semblance of hope til thwir nails bleed and they cheer becuz they are alive and in the sun and watching their breath freeze as they cheer in the cold air of the mountains. the grass is green and growing and its more life than uve seen since before you moved to the middle of a desert to work in a concrete prison far from the warmth of the sun where it bakes all that it touches.

do you think gordon feels the happiness of the rebels? feels a sense of accomolishment in even the smallest thing he does? is he satisfied or fullfilled for helpjng these people? can he feel the sun warm the skin of his face and the bite of eastern european chill on his nose the way the rebels do? does he relish in that he is alive still? is he coming back? or do you think he still feels dull as he sinks deeper and deeper into the recesses of his mind and the concrete cage of balck mesa where his old life died?

#judt thinking about how often citizens and rebels in half life 2 cheer at wven pulling down a sign ir killing a robot #and how joyous and gleeful they sound at the smallest accomplisment #compared to how the guards and scientists get more and more grim the longer the game goes on in half life 1 #things get worse and worse in both games in the forces they face but the world seems brighter in 2 #maybe its becuz things in hl1 can only get worse when ur in the middle of losing ur way of life #vs things can only get better when uve got nothing to lose and every small win is more than uve had for the last 20 years #but its still just so beautiful and tangible #and i love to think about how gordon fits into it all #hes a relic of a different time a different battle where nothing he did mattered #the whole time was a battle against a derivative of nihilism a foreshadow of torment to come from the combine #and he coukdnt win that battle withiur self destructung #is it a sign of whats to come #has he changed? will he change? cna he survuve or is he stuck in a loop of the same battle over and over again #killing himself with everylife he takes as punishment for dooming hjmanity #iwillspeakincessantly #sorry #thinking

[villainihavedonethymotheronao3]

AU where the rage of seeing his brother with That Witch triggers his curse and Philip has a horrifying transformation that he can’t control. He does still very much try to kill Caleb but Caleb assumes it’s the curse and he and his wife and some townsfolk manage to subdue him.

Since Philip can’t figure out how to turn back yet and being a ten foot swamp monster does make it hard to carry out his wicked plans, he lets himself be soothed. Caleb explains that it’s alright, he’ll find a cure, and they’ll stay with his wife’s family in the meantime. Internally Philip is seething but he figures it’s best to play nice. He doesn’t have many other options.

It takes him decades to figure out how to temporarily reverse his transformation and in that time he gets 5 satanic nieces and nephews who are very fond of using him as a jungle gym. Caleb is constantly fussing and the Clawthornes, though wary at first, have accepted him as a sort of Family Beast. (Caleb didn’t mention the eating palismen thing.) “Yes, that’s our Philip! He’s a bit odd. Made out of grime and muck, can only communicate through deafening roars or by scratching words on the ground. Bit angry but I’d be too under the circumstances.”

The elixir he gets off of a traveling salesman works! But only for a day. And, he realizes rapidly, he can build up a tolerance to it. He needs to ration his use.

The first thing he does is go looking for the Collector, who he did his own research on while trapped with the Clawthornes (nephews are surprisingly useful for turning book pages). Caleb is distraught when he disappears, of course, he runs himself ragged looking for him. But Philip pops back up eventually (plus one mirror tucked in his mud flesh and a plan to kill all witchkind) and the Clawthornes just kind of accept that Philip disappears now.

Since he can’t overuse his new cure he instead sticks close to the Clawthornes, relying on their trust for him as cover while he enacts his plans more subtly. He gets money by murdering people on the road and then uses that to bribe agents. It takes some effort to hold a pen in his larger form but anonymous screeds and books about the purity of magic are almost as convincing as a preacher, especially when accompanied by attacks on border towns by a strange, indescribable monster. There’s a surplus of wild palisman around the Clawthornes, no one notices when a few go missing, everyone assumes that they found new people or new places to live. And when he really needs to make a scene he chugs a potion and goes to spread his message in person.

‘Belos’ is the name of a rabble rouser who won’t show his face, who keeps spreading unsettling stories about the Titan and magic itself. Philip is just a large, unfortunate, slightly sticky guy with eyes everywhere and deer horns. He’s good at lifting heavy things and has a seemingly infinite patience for small children and he sometimes goes into the woods to nap or chase rabbits or something.

Eventually Caleb dies (80, in bed, surrounded by children; it’s more than he deserves, the traitor) but Philip still stays with the Clawthornes. They make a very nice cover story and he does need one as pushback to Belos reaches its peak. Even when his message starts to win the war, when there are more adherents to his makeshift religion than nonbelievers, when his puppet monarch (he used Caleb’s bones, which he had such easy access to, to make a grimwalker and claimed the child was Titan sent) is actually crowned, he stays. The elixir really doesn’t work that often. He needs to save it.

He is, he’ll admit, passingly fond of some of the little mongrels his brother produced. Lilith, for example, is clearly willing to do what it takes to accomplish her goals. Edalyn, on the other hand, spells trouble. He can see it in her strongwilled glare, the way the Collector balks at the curse hanging over her, in that smile so like Caleb’s. Because she’s a very real threat to his rule (and because he could be closer to the castle, his latest grimwalker is getting rebellious and might need replacing) he accompanies her when she runs away from home. Cursed Clawthornes have to stick together, right?

He’s astounded when she stumbles on the portal—the actual portal! He’d thought Caleb destroyed it, guilty that they couldn’t go home. Instead it’s here and it’s whole and he steps through it with her, this little witch with his brother’s blood…

And then they go back. He’s not fit for the human realm, not yet. When all the witches are dead, when he’s cured, then he’ll let himself enjoy air that doesn’t smell like rot.

In the meantime he lives in the Owl House and waits.

#the owl house #this does presume that Philip was fully bemused as of the fratricide event #which I’m not sure is the case #but it makes a nice little story #he’s so happy when luz arrives you cannot believe #you’ve never seen a more delighted goop deer #to increase the Abuse Vibes philip pops in on hunter and the Grimwalkers in the middle of the night #to give them talking points for the next day #as far as they’re concerned god is a gooey swamp creature who talks to them at night #maybe he’s built in some sort of advanced version of Odalia’s speaking crystal too #or just stuck some of his goop in their brains for on call advice #keeping king and the collector separate… hmm maybe Philip specifically leaves him someplace no one else will find him #except hooty who’s been seeing that haunted shadow kid for years but no one believes him #having been dealing with him since childhood Eda and Lilith are both very good at interpreting Philip’s various screams #but luz doesn’t know what the different roars mean which poses some problems #goo uncle philip au

[vickyvicarious]

ughhhhhh I have found myself in the position of having to turn down a dude from my dnd party who is trying to date me and I am agonizing over awkwardness

#he said he wanted to make more friends in the area so i said sure we can hang out #except then he started texting me invites to dinner with a very flirty tone and wrote me a 'hi beautiful' text todat #i hate these situations. feels mega awkward and i hope there's no fallout in sessions since this group has been going for a year now #i feel like i might text back to clarify i am only down for friendly hangouts? he hasnt putright said he wants to date so maybe it's #jumping the gun. but feels better than getting stuck in the middle of what one of thinks is a date (again) that sucks so much #i do not want to do it again. or deal with it at all tbh but i guess i have to

[qtubbo]

twitter always picks the worst possible interpretation of tubbo's actions and refuses to see him as an intelligent person. it's the same story every single time and it's infuriating. the way he's able to make accurate guesses from small amounts of information is so impressive to me. and he would never do something like checking someone's stream to see where they logged off.

the thing is he’s wrong a lot it’s not like hes magically right all the time with no reason. If Tubbo makes an conclusion it always is something extreme but still within the information he has, so when he does have enough to make that leap he’ll get it right. Tubbo is a smart person, and that constantly being demeaned with he’s cheating is so frustrating, let him try stop blaming him having thoughts.

#Metagaming accusations are the worst thing ever cause its just people being mad someone was smarter then them #<-actually one time someone poisoned me for being smarter then them so maybe this is a universal constant with people still stuck #In their middle school mindset. That was completely unrelated sorry #tubbo #Asks! #discourse #Neg #also it was on tumblr too sadly….. just more on twitter #Val haterisms

[montrosepretty]

Celebrating 4/13 by getting crucified

#god this is the first drawing I’ve gotten my ipad out for in. a while 😭 #I’ve been fighting for my life a little this quarter so it’s fine #I had another drawing I was going to post as my makeup since I forgor yesterday #but I like it too much to post in the middle of the night.. #maybe I’ll post that and another doodle tomorrow and call it even #anyways happy house stuck day #daily drawing

[desi-yearning]

A Little Freedom is All I Need

@desi-lgbt-fest Day-5: A Little Freedom is All I Need

A little freedom is all I need

To live like me with the girl I love To sit and watch the Moon above

To hold her hand and kiss her face To melt into her warm embrace

To stop living in this closet of glass To start living without the contrasts

To make a house and call it home To share the home and a last name

All I want is to call my girl my wife By marrying her and building our life

Is it too much to ask for? Because a little freedom is all I need.

Thank you so much Koko (@watchingblsnowandforever) for beta reading it and also calling it post-worthy, I wouldn't have done it without you!🩵💛

#desi lgbt #desi queer #dlf: day 5 #desi lgbt fest #a little freedom is all I need #I think this is the first time I'm posting a poem here #This is basically a.. commentary? on how we still don't have same sex marriage rights in India #I'm a day late because I was so stuck in the middle (and maybe also because I was procrastinating hehe)

[nerdie-faerie]

Currently thinking about the last time I met up with my college friends, and we went around the table reintroducing ourselves with names and pronouns, cus it gets like that. And every time it would come around to me, I would deflect and distract instead of answering because I hadn't actually figured it out yet. It's coming up on a year since then, I still have no idea what the answer would be

#Queer gang #it was literally this time last year cus it was the last time i went home for winter break that i saw them all #i panicked and got distracted the first time i was supposed to introduce myself despite the fact theyre the last people who would judge #but were a bunch of very easily distracted fckers so it wasnt even that noticeable that i hadnt answered at first #but then one of them realised id never actually introduced myself and i cant even remember how i changed the topic #but someone would always realise in the middle of someones story so id just redirect the attention to what we were already discussing #to buy myself time to think but i never actually came up with an answer and im stuck on a coach rn so my brain has all this time to think #and im just. its been a year since that incident its been several years since i started to think maybe my gender didnt entirely fit #but every time i try to figure it out like a puzzle like i did with my sexuality the first time i realise i dont really have an answer #its not that i feel that something else would fit better and i cant figure out why it doesnt feel right in the first place #is it because i was raised hyperfeminine despite growing up predominantly around brothers? #is it because tradition gender roles dont fit anyway when yoyre queer because so much of gender is tangled up in sexuality? #is it because im taking too much of a theoretical/whatever approach to it when i know gender is predominantly a social construct? #is it because its just not that deep and i dont care? or do i care and i just havent figured it out yet? idk

[melit0n]

"The more that I grow, the more that I've come to know; it's hard to be someone and it hurts to be nobody."

#I'm thinking about making a personal tag for all the music I post #something like 'Mel's Mixtape'? I feel like I've already seen that somewhere though so I don't wanna be copying anyone #if anybody has any ideas let me know! #+ that lyric gutter punched me when I first listened to COAP #(bit of a vent/rant incoming so nobody feel pressured to read) #I've spent the majority of my life with anxiety (especially social anxiety) and depression #so I got stuck on the idea of being a 'nobody'; a person you never even notice just drifting through It All #but then I got jealous (per say) of people who had big friendgroups and were 'popular' etc and wanted to become 'somebody' #a person maybe even in the public eye #so I spent years trying to make myself into someone I wasn't and spent the whole time suffering #and eventually people realised I was not what I wanted to be (I wasn't like *them* in that sense) and they spent their days making sure -> #I knew it #so yeah #it is hard to be someone but it hurts to be nobody #even so I've found myself a good middle spot with a few friends who know me for *me* a good major and a lot of lovely moots #I ain't someone but I ain't nobody either <3 #mel's thoughs #spotify #half•alive #half alive #conditions of a punk #coap #nobody (song) #melitunes

[tanoraqui]

I’d love an Oromë pov fic of seeing Tyelkormo Turkafinwë as a child and instantly recognizing one who could, should, will grow up to be one of his finest hunters, and watching over him through adolescence, welcoming him into the forest and then into the Hunt, maybe a little ritual hunter/hunted sex if that’s your thing…the teaching of animal languages, the gift of Huan…watching nearly helpless from ever-more-afar as he falls with his father and brothers, as he proves that Beleriand under Morgoth’s influence is a terrible place to have a well-honed sense of predator and prey…and one day, finally, many ages hence, welcoming him home again…

And the whole thing is draped like heavy furs in metaphors of spotting prey and stalking, lying in wait, trapping, chasing, capture and even bloody fight and feast. Because Oromë is the Vala of the Hunt, and how could his point of view be otherwise? Tyelkormo is, will be, a great predator, but all creatures are prey compared to the might of the Hunter himself… But while the language is entirely predatory, and there is an edge of It Is A Grand and Terrible Thing, To Be Beloved of a God, the intent is never “predatory” as we might define word today. Oromë is the Vala of the Hunt; he could no more disrespect the prey than he could the predator (perhaps that’s where Celegorm went wrong in Beleriand). Hunting with intent to love vs hunting with intent to kill, and the overlap. Hunting with intent to consume vs hunting with intent to be worshipped, and the overlap.

Also something something untamable wildness but also natural order; something something the nature of Valar in ruling vs embodying their domains, and how those who worship/follow/serve/love them fit into that. Something something a person’s nature (not nurture, just nature) and everything goes wrong when you deviate from that into too much competition and cruelty—or maybe something something competition and cruelty, too, are natural (both broadly and person-specifically), but if you want to spend time with people whose natures are inclined towards things like pretty gemstones and diplomacy (and you do want that, they’re still your family), you have to learn how to tamp down the more violent wildness for at least the duration of a dinner party, much as the Vala of the Hunt must tamp himself down at least a little to spend time with even the fiercest and finest of his young hunters.

#orome #celegorm #the silmarillion #valar #feanor and feanor’s kin #ficlet #please #my fic #and maybe the endgame is that celegorm reembodied lives in the forest and on the trail more than in any building #(as he always would have done eventually) #and rides in pride and savage glory with Orome’s Hunt #and sometimes they ride so far and fast that they reach middle earth again and pass thundering howling through trees and dark-windowed towns #because ‘the Hunt goes where it wills’ is an older and more fundamental part of the Song than even the sundering of the world #and sometimes on those nights orome let’s celegorm take the lead - just for a moment #just long enough to turn the thundering howling cavalcade toward brighter higher prey #never to catch it of course - earendil stays in the sky and the Hunt stays on the ground #or close enough to the ground #but the chase does ease something in celegorm’s heart that will never fully loose #making it easier to peaceably go to a dinner party #(albeit maybe never enough to be stuck in an underground city for 15ish years with assorted arafinweans. that was always too much) #(don’t invoke the power of Eru into your oaths kids; he might let you and so curse you irrevocably to never grow far past your worst self!)

[eyecide]

So basically what’s kind of gone ahead and happened is I got bangs

#what do we think of the bangs a little commotion for the bangs maybe? #unfortunately I wore my hair in a middle part for many years and now I fear it’s stuck that way for a while

[rosalind-hawkins]

so sick of being sick. so sick of recurring health issues. sick of the way health insurance works.

#personal post #delete later #maybe #starting a new job and i have to wait 2.5 months before health insurance kicks in #and that's terrifying to do while in the middle of health issues #but like i don't have a choice #trying so hard not to get stuck or burned out on creative stuff #and to not lose steam or give up on stuff