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whoree321 · 3 years

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the bad batch + what romance/rom com movies they watch with you

each of the bad batch x gn!reader

ok first and foremost i really truly believe to the pits of my soul that every single one of these fuckos loves romances and you cannot under any circumstances change my mind

ALSO it’s a gender neutral reader except kinda in echo’s theres like a very brief quote regarding breasts but like i still think even that is pretty gender neutral tbh

so anyway

Hunter: Pretty Woman

this is not the first time that i have publicly declared that i think hunter has a deep rooted connection to the movie pretty woman and it will not be the last

first of all this movie is incredibly soothing to hunters overwhelming savior complex

second of all hunter is literally richard gere (debonaire but emotionally distant gentleman that learns to love) and julia roberts (hooker with a heart of gold) at the same time

he was a little skeptical the first time you put it on but he instantly fell in love with it

the humor, the sensuality, the class divide, the glamour, the unconventional cinderella story of it all. it just really butters his bread

after the first time, when you suggest watching a movie and you pick this one he’ll act very aloof about it (“whatever you want cyar’ika, it doesn’t matter to me”) but secretly he’s really really happy bc it’s one of his favorites (you def know this and def pick it more often)

he absolutely hates the scene when stucky the lawyer hits vivian. like it doesn’t matter how many times he watches it he will fully turn his head away from the screen and say “I don’t like this part” and when it’s over he nuzzles a little closer into you and very tenderly kisses your forehead

he loves the soundtrack too. like he fully exposes how much he likes the movie when you catch him singing or humming “pretty woman” or “it must have been love” absently to himself (you kept it to yourself for a while but eventually you just had to tease him about it. he just smiled a little sheepishly and admitted he liked the songs before promptly changing the subject)

hunter also lowkey definitely wants to recreate the ending where richard gere shows up to her apartment in the white limo with you bc he thinks it’s such a sweet gesture and he wants to treat you like royalty

Crosshair: 10 Things I Hate About You

if there’s one thing about crosshair it’s that he’s a sucker for the enemies to lovers genre

maybe its just him projecting (spoiler alert it most certainly is) but he really enjoys watching the drama conflama of a miserable bastard be tricked into love

and really that’s the true essence of 10 Things I Hate About You

he will grumble and bitch and moan about not wanting to watch a ‘chick flick’ when you put it on, but 15 minutes in and he’s hooked

he has strong negative opinions on literally every single character except for kat and patrick

(crosshair really really wants to think he’s patrick but when it comes down to it he is katarina stratford in every single possible way)

he doesn’t say a word throughout the entire movie but you can tell when he’s annoyed at like bianca or cameron or joey bc he will openly scoff at them

will absolutely hum along in your ear during the “can’t take my eyes off you” scene and make out with you during the paintball scene

(seriously he wants to be patrick verona so bad)

when it’s over and you ask him what he thought he’ll roll his eyes and say “i guess it could have been worse” but his little smirk let’s you know he enjoyed it a lot more than he’s willing to admit

Tech: 50 Shades of Grey

ok hear me out on this one

tech is a huge movie talker. like subtitles are a non-negotiable if you wanna be able to take in any of the movies dialogue bc tech is most likely gonna make commentary over it the whole time

this makes him absolutely indescribably so much fun to watch bad/corny movies with

he will go off about EVERYTHING. the plot, the dialogue, the acting, the costuming, the music, the production quality. nothing and no one is safe. whether you just enjoy letting him talk at you or you join in on the roast, cheesy movies are a hoot between you two

and honey. 50 shades is one of THE cheesiest movies ever

you and tech will literally spend the entire duration of the movie tearing it to shreds

and the thing is tech is a very sarcastic, funny guy when he wants to be (and when it comes to you he definitely wants to be) so by the end of it he will have you in absolute stitches from laughing at the ridiculousness of both the movie and him

with any of the other batchers watching a movie like this either turns into a shy, slightly awkward experience (wrecker, echo) or an incorrigibly horny experience (crosshair, hunter)

but in this context tech literally has no shame or squeamishness about sexual things (why should he it’s a natural biological process?) so to yall the sex stuff is just another thing to roast

literally christian grey could be fully tying dakota johnson down and flogging her and tech will be like “in the last 3 minutes they have panned up to her nipples 4 times. this is criminally shoddy cinematography”

even tho he’s busy giving a detailed play by play critique, he never fails to keep some sort of physical contact with you (wrapping an arm around you and running his hand up and down your skin, playing with your fingers or your hair) so you know he’s enjoying spending this time with you despite his nasty words about the movie

also 1000% after you watch it tech will do extensive research on the ins and outs of bdsm and will have lots of hypotheses he wants to test out (as long as you’re willing and able ofc) ;)))

Wrecker: 13 Going On 30

of all the bad batch members, wrecker is the only one who unabashedly loves any movie that could be considered a chick flick

like he doesn’t even try to hide it or act like he’s too masculine for it. he loves romance and he’s proud of it

this man will have full marathons with you. rom coms, regular roms, tragic roms, hallmark roms, you name it and he’s game

his absolute favorite tho is 13 Going On 30

i feel like he has a huge soft spot for childhood best friends to lovers stories like he finds that type of lifelong partnership so endearing (and he loves to live vicariously through jenna since that type of romance was obviously never an option for him)

wrecker is also very childlike at heart and i think the idea of a 13 year old sweetheart trapped inside the body of a 30 year old cut throat magazine exec is so amusing to him (and maybe makes him feel just a little bit represented in the media)

he is definitely the type to completely engulf you in a cuddle for the entirety of the movie and he DEFINITELY cries into your shoulder at matty’s wedding when jenna is crying on the stoop with her dream house

he wants to try razzles so bad. like so bad. i think if he ever came across them somewhere he would barter at least one of his brothers for them

wrecker really just loves love and watching movies about it just reminds him of how lucky he is to have his own love story with you <3

Echo: The Princess Bride

i feel like it’s glaringly obvious why echo loves this movie

pirates. sword fighting. decades long revenge plots. the value of an honorable, loyal man. true love that never wavers even in the face of devastating tragedy and the darkest of hardships. clever but goofy humor.

echo considers this an action/adventure movie and NOT a romance movie (even tho it 100% totally is a romance movie) and requests to watch it very frequently

he can quote the whole thing. i’m seriously telling you echo loves the princess bride with his whole chest

even tho he refuses to admit it’s a love story above all else, he really does try to model himself in your relationship after wesley

like especially given what happened at the citadel and all the time you thought he was dead, the cinematic parellels are alive and present in y’alls relationship and he strives to be even half the man to you that wesley is to buttercup

literally in your day to day life he will sometimes respond to your requests with a smooth “as you wish ;)” (it doesn’t matter how many times he does it it still gives you butterflies)

when you watch the movie, he snuggles as close to you as possible and does his best to make youre comfy the whole time (he’s insecure about his prosthetics hurting you no matter how much you reassure him they don’t)

he just loves to be able to feel your heartbeat and your laugh when you giggle at the funny bits

every single time without fail at the part when buttercup is about to stab herself he leans down, ghosts his lips against the shell of your ear, and whispers the line in time with wesley: “there’s a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. it would be a pity to damage yours”

every single time without fail you wind up making out until he pulls away and tells you to watch the next part when wesley challenges humperdinck to a duel to the pain

echo just loves you to bits and wants you to know he’d endure a thousand fire swamps for you

Omega: Clueless

i have this really specific obsession with omega being a total girly girl and having very traditionally feminine interests as she keeps experiencing the universe and being exposed to a spectrum of gender expression beyond clone (masc and boring) and kaminoan (ugly)

so with that headcanon of her in mind, it’s vital to me that she sees clueless as soon as possible

clueless is an essential piece of media for a girl entering adolescence and i will die on this hill

it has literally everything you want and everything you need to develop into a well-rounded young woman

it’s so deliciously 90s and glamorama and valley girl humor and camp. its got meaningful female friendships and valuable life lessons and paul mf rudd

if there’s one thing you should encourage a burgeoning hetero teen girl to do, it’s to stick to dating guys like paul rudd in clueless. the earlier this message can be broadcast the better

the second you’re able to steal omega away from hunters watchful eyes (“hunter we’re just gonna watch finding nemo i swear!”) you show her this movie

at this point omega is not really a girly girl, but omega also has absolutely zero feminine influence in her life

the first time she sees clueless she is absolutely obsessed. like seriously she is so enamoured with the glitz and glam of cher horowitz

she asks you questions the entire time. she wants to know about EVERYTHING. the makeup, the clothes, the hair, the slang

(she definitely goes around saying stuff like “i’m totally bugging” for long enough afterwards that almost all of the boys have slipped up at least once with some ridiculous valley girl slang. you thought you were gonna die of laughter when you overheard tech say “as if!” to wrecker in the middle of an argument)

it just really introduces her to this whole world of femininity that she didn’t even know existed and she absolutely loves it

she makes you watch clueless with her seriously once a week at minimum. she begs you to style her hair like tai’s and you can’t help yourself when you happen to run across a little yellow plaid dress and buy it for her on sight

(hunter was gonna scold you for recklessly spending credits until he saw how omega almost cried from how happy she was for the gift)

honestly she enjoys the romance of it all and paul rudd is def her first celebrity crush but she enjoys more that you and her now have this special thing of hair and nails and pretty dresses

she loves how confident and beautiful and special you’re able to make her feel, and you love that you get to bring her that small sense of normalcy and happiness

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prncssguya · 3 years

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i want to find that person who commented on one of my posts saying they believed kang yo han killed soo hyun and his brother, i want to be petty but i just don’t have the energy. i’m an emotional wreck actually.

i’ve been saying this for a while but there’s something about this watch, they’re putting great emphasis on it for some reason

he was so hurt that ga on is now looking at him like everyone else has viewed him his entire life: a monster, a devil.

- the president said he manipulated the electric chair so does that mean if ga on hadn’t interfered, that scheme would have been revealed??

i’ve always known yo han was innocent and couldn’t help but be so frustrated with ga on’s character, but i really can’t even be angry with him anymore. i mean just the absolute devastation, sadness, emptiness on his face (jinyoung has to win something for this role or else 🔫), man i felt it and it hurt like hell. i find ga on to be one of the most pitiable and pathetic characters. he’s giving me han seo level angst. i saw a comment on youtube saying they hope ga on has a bad end and he doesn't deserve a good one after everything he's done to yo han. that person really needs to do some self reflection (and anyone criticizing him). people trashing him wouldn’t even last as long as he have (i know I wouldn’t bc i fold at the slightest inconvenience). my boy lost both his parents, had to learn to survive on his own, had a best friend/almost lover from childhood tragically killed in front him, a man he viewed as a father figure emotionally manipulated him, and bc of evil forces, he mistakenly betrayed the man who brought him into his family and loved him. how could you possibly hate this person?? he’s a victim. this was a long-game manipulation that he got caught up in. if you ever think your life is miserable, think about what Kim Ga On has been through

this scene really broke me...

he didn't care about the what the world thought about him, at that very moment he only wanted gaon to believe him, he only cared about Gaon bc he didn't want to lose him🥺 and from yohan’s perspective, he will never know all the many times ga on actually defended him 😩

“You’re Master Yohan’s weakness that I planted.” sun ah it’s on sight 😤🔪 and that jae hee bish

she was a psycho from day one. kidnaps and sexually assaults him, turns gaon against him, kills one of his closest people, and continues making him miserable yet she STILL expects love and affection from him

i’m sick, jung sun ah was at ga on’s coronation. so we finally got an answer to the question of why no one was questioning ga on’s resemblance to issac, they’ve known, they’ve always known ohmygod. he’s just been used as a tool. YOHAN CALLED HIM GAON-AH TWICE. WE GOT IT BUT AT WHAT COST

BUT DID Y’ALL FEEL THE HOPELESSNESS WHEN GA ON FINALLY FIGURED OUT THAT IT WAS ALL A MANIPUALATION? AND YO HAN SAYING DON’T BOTHER 🥲🥲🥲 AND YO HAN’S DESPERATION TO KEEP THE TRUTH ABOUT THE FIRE HIDDEN 🙃🙃🙃🥲🥲🥲 Ji Sung really acted his heart out

it's so sad bc yohan had no clue why gaon was trying to stab him but he didnt even question why gaon was doing this to him. he's so used to being treated like a monster that even when he's about to get stabbed by the person he loves so much, he just accepts it. yohan didnt even care he could be killed, he just didnt want gaon to live his life in guilt…just like how he let himself be the culprit so elijah wouldnt live her life in guilt for he always chooses to sacrifice himself for others 💔💔💔 and that’s why he never corrected the nanny or elijah when they thought the worst of him, bc as long as they thought he did it, they wouldn’t seek out the truth. when it comes to devasting truths, some things are better left hidden. Yo Han…my god, what a man

i’ve figured for a while now, as i think a lot of us did, that elijah was the one to set the fire by accident. it doesn’t make it hurt less, poor thing if she finds out. i hope she never does.

poor ga on was so in shock he couldn’t even move from his position on the floor

he’s cried in like every episode, don’t fall apart yet ga on ㅠㅠㅠㅠ but i fear he has. when the screen faded to black and white, it was symbolizing how he’s dead inside and the light has left him. ㅅㅂ 김가온 죽지 마 ㅠㅠㅠ 😭

yo han…my love, i’m so sorry all this has happened to you. it seems like this man’s loved ones are cursed. i’m grateful, even if just for a moment, he felt the warmth of what a real family would feel like with elijah and ga on.

this final frame gave me goosebumps, the utter shock, devastation and hopelessness he must be feeling. i’m not going to make any theories about the final episode, i just want it to play out. i don’t want to hear anything about it and just be surprised and i’m actually glad they didn’t give a preview, this ep was too much.

man i’m overwhelmed, how are they going to wrap this up in one episode? crying for my lawful family

me during the last few minutes:

#the devil judge #kdrama #tdj ep 15 #gahan #lawful husbands #kim ga on #kang yo han #going to listen to dive for some good vibes #park jinyoung #got7 jinyoung #jinyoung please do a romcom next #jinyoung stop picking the most traumatic characters please #the writers are so sick for this 😖

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markoftheasphodel · 5 years

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Unfulfilled Dream: An Introduction to Finn and House Leonster

This is intended to assist fans of Three Houses, and specifically Blue Lions fans, in understanding what the hell FE old-timers are talking about when the names “Quan,” “Finn,” and “Leif” come up with regard to Dimitri and his retainers (and Dimitri/Dedue in particular). You may have encountered these characters in FE Heroes, but there’s a lot more stuff out there and it’s not all in one place, or even readily available in translation. So here goes.

So, as a starting point, Azure Moon route of Three Houses is heavily influenced by Thracia 776 (aka FE5) and the more familiar you are with FE5, the more evident the parallels/echoes are. But going backward from Azure Moon to its inspiration, or to Genealogy of the Holy War (FE4) which served as an inspiration for Three Houses itself, can be really confusing.

We have the two games, FE4 and FE5, both of them for the SNES, neither of them ever given a worldwide release. Both have modern, very good patches so if you want to play them, it’s a much better user experience than it used to be. We have two artbooks, Treasure for FE4 and Illustrated Works for FE5, both of them only partially translated via websites and translation blogs. We have developer notes and interviews. We have the appearances of these characters as Einherjar in Awakening. We have their modern appearances in Fire Emblem Heroes. We have the modern run of Cipher cards as well as much older TCG cards. And finally, we have various manga and light novels, many of which have been fan-translated of late but also rather... dubious as “game canon.”

So, to grasp Quan, or Finn, or Leif, it’s a bit like being told “read 100 support conversations plus some DLC that never got translated,” right?

Here are the basics that might be of interest to Three Houses fans!

Quan is the prince of Leonster, a small but wealthy kingdom on the Thracian Peninsula, which juts eastward from the continent of Jugdral. He carries the Major Holy Blood (so, kind of like a Major Crest) of Njörun, one of the Twelve Crusaders who liberated Jugdral from an evil cult several generations before. His holy weapon is Gae Bolg, aka The Lance of Love and Sorrow, reputed to be cursed. Quan generally at war with his neighbor to the south, King Travant of Thracia (a poor nation), who also has Major Holy Blood and is a descendant of Dáinn, Njörun’s brother. Each of them wants to unite the Thracian peninsula and rule over the whole thing; despite an Irish naming scheme, Leonster was inspired by Italy and is supposed to be an elegant, fashionable place with a thriving middle class. Quan attended a fancy military academy in the center of the continent (the direct inspiration for Garreg Mach!) and has two close friends from other nations, Eldigan and Sigurd, also heirs to holy bloodlines. The three of them swear an oath to always have each others’ backs and Quan marries Sigurd’s sister Ethlyn, who has minor holy blood (like a minor crest but with no holy weapon access). They have two children, Altena and Leif.

Finn starts off as Quan’s page. I say “starts off” because FE4 and FE5 follow him over the course of twenty years. He’s the child of a noble house in Leonster, and when he was orphaned he was sent to the castle to be raised/educated. He’s not skilled at making friends but he does become Quan’s page and grows to think of Ethlyn as a big sister of sorts. When Quan and Ethlyn go to war across the continent to assist Sigurd, Finn wants to come along and they take him, even though he’s maybe fifteen and barely old enough to fight. Quan mentors Finn (which is something we see in FE4 itself), building his confidence up, telling Finn he’s the most promising knight of his generation, bequeathing Finn a special lance of his own, and ultimately entrusting Finn with guardianship of Quan’s son and heir, Leif. Finn in turn becomes utterly devoted to Quan and to Quan’s ambition of ruling all of Thracia.

A word about devotion. This is not “devotion” in the sense we’ve seen from Frederick or Jakob in recent FE games, where it’s performative and kind of amusing, with complicated tea rituals and recruiting slogans and whatnot. This is straight-up utter acceptance of someone else’s dreams and ambition as one’s own purpose in life. Hold that thought.

Anyway, Quan and Ethlyn are ambushed and killed by Travant shortly after Leif is born; every knight in their party is massacred in the Yied Desert. The rest of the continent is falling under the sway of the Grannvale Empire (Eldigan’s already dead, Sigurd dies shortly after Quan&Ethlyn), and Leonster is able to hold out for a couple of years before it falls to a one/two attack by Travant’s Thracian army and the Grannvale Empire. Finn, who’s been caring for Leif as his guard, escapes from the burning castle with Leif in his arms (Leif’s grandmother Queen Alfiona dies in the blaze; his grandfather King Kalf died shortly before on the battlefield, betrayed by allies).

The Yied Massacre and the Fall of Leonster are the Jugdrali psychological horror-show that parallel the Tragedy of Duscur’s impact on House Blaiddyd. Finn is devastated by the fact that his duty to Leif kept him from Quan&Ethlyn’s side during the massacre because dying with them would’ve been preferable to surviving them. He hasn’t recovered from that when Leonster falls in an inferno that traumatizes him for, as far as we can tell, the rest of his life. As Leif tells it, Finn then shut down emotionally to the point where he neither cries nor laughs. Of course, Leif himself is scarred by the memory of the burning castle, and that and the loss of his parents fuels his own rage and desire for revenge. Leif is also bothered by the fact that he only has minor holy blood from his parents, which is much less impressive than having two minor Crests because he can’t use any holy weapons. On the other hand, two types of minor holy blood don’t kill you.

(I think at this point many of y’all can see how these events are echoed in Azure Moon. The atrocity, the survivor’s guilt, the fallout on both a child prince with a heavy burden and his retainer who’s struggling with his own issues.)

After this, Finn has nothing aside from his duty to Leif, and as he sees it his duty to Leif is ultimately to see Leif placed on the throne of a unified Thracian peninsula as its sole king. He raises Leif and Leif’s companion Nanna/Jeanne (Jugdral is complicated) under a variety of harsh & tragic circumstances for the next thirteen years. Sometimes he has to forego meals to feed the kids. The people who assist him usually end up dead. At least once he gets betrayed by the citizens of the town they’re hiding in. And so on. These are not circumstances that really allow one to recover from trauma, and by the time Leif himself is fifteen years old and the game plot of Thracia 776 begins, Finn still doesn’t give a damn as to whether he lives or dies as long as he can see Leif made King of Thracia. This is where the portrayal of Finn in Fire Emblem Heroes comes from-- by this point he’s about thirty-four and he really hasn’t had a good day in his life since he was about nineteen.

One of the Cipher cards probably says it the best: His fallen master protected him, saw him through to adulthood, and entrusted him with an unfulfilled dream, and now Finn leads the way to a new era in his motherland! That complete, utter, unswerving dedication to Quan and his unfulfilled dream is what brings Finn to mind when discussing Dedue (cutscene after Gronder in Verdant Wind, anyone?) It’s not funny. It’s tragic. It’s kind of disturbing. Thracia 776 offers a lot of commentary on knights and knighthood-- not as savage as the discussions Felix has with his Blue Lions comrades, but pointed nonetheless-- and with Finn as the Jugdrali exemplar of A Knight, that criticism rebounds, directly or indirectly, on him. Knighthood is kind of effed up and so is Finn.

Finn does get the opportunity to get his revenge on Travant in FE4, as both he and Leif have boss-battle conversations with Travant making it 100% clear they’re after revenge (Leif even speaks of killing Travant with his bare hands!). Travant’s death helps clear the way for Leif to take the throne of Thracia after the war... and with the dream at last fulfilled, Finn disappears, apparently into the Yied Desert where Quan and Ethlyn died. (He does come back three years later.) He’s got nothing else in his life. He’s seemingly not equipped to take over the usual veteran-knight role as some kind of advisor or general... or, after all that, he just WANTS to disappear for a while.

(You say, this is pretty TL;DR for “the basics”; I say, “I left a lot of stuff out, especially wrt shipping” because Jugdrali shipping is complicated.)

Anyway, so that’s the outline of the plot stuff. Note again, this takes more than twenty years to play out-- more than double the time elapsed between the Tragedy of Duscur and Dimitri’s final victory in Azure Moon. Jugdral is a long, long, hard slog for the characters that survive it.

Now, here’s where we get to the interpretive part. Finn’s devotion to Quan (and thence to Leif) and his trauma and self-abnegation are not up for debate. Hell, FE Heroes provides a pretty fair encapsulation of it. What Heroes also conveys is the sheer depth of his grief for Quan after fifteen, seventeen, twenty years... a grief that leads a number of fans, including me, to see a romantic subtext there. Maybe Quan, as a happily married man with two kids, wasn’t ever thinking of his page-turned-protege like that, but in between some interesting bits of dialogue in FE5 about Finn being “cold to women” and his current portrayal in Heroes, it does create the impression that at the very least Finn’s feelings for Quan went outside the ordinary bounds of the lord/retainer relationship. As Jugdral by its nature doesn’t lead to the sorts of paired endings we see in Three Houses, that’s really something fans have to experience for themselves.

If that interests you, hopefully this essay has provided some pointers on where to find material. Have fun!

#fe16 spoilers #blue lions meta #jugdral spoilers #jugdral meta #leonster bias #finn of leonster #long post #text post

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chadteru · 5 years

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I know everyone and their grandma already talked about this, i probably made a post like this already at some point, but here’s my essay on why Ishimaru Kiyotaka should have survived:

If you play Ishimaru’s FTEs, you will learn that because of his grandfather, his family’s reputation has been tarnished. Now, here’s a question: what would have completed his character arc better than helping the world discover from despair???? Literally no other character had a reason to survive nearly as strong as Ishimaru’s. Ishimaru surviving and joining Future Foundation would have made so much sense plot-wise and would feel like a natural and satisfying turn of events. “But Kat,” you might say, “The point of Danganronpa is that some people who deserve to live die! Death doesn’t discriminate!” But here’s the thing: Chihiro, Mondo, Sakura, Impostor*, Mahiru*, Gundham*, (*technically SDR2 characters did not actually die, but we don’t learn about it until DR3. The actual game’s ending seemed to leave it up to interpretation.) and many others didn’t deserve to die either. You know why I don’t complain about their deaths? Because they made sense narrative-wise. They were satisfying. There was nothing about their backstories that would have made the story better if these characters were to survive instead of dying. In fact, their deaths made an impact on the player and the story. Like I said, it was satisfying. With Ishimaru, however, not only would his character arc reach a satisfying conclusion if he survived, it made no sense for him to die. In fact, chapter 3 kind of brushed over his death in general! It would have made literally no difference if anyone else with a watch was killed instead of him. If they wanted to kill off Ishimaru that bad, they should have just done what the stageplay did and made anyone that votes incorrectly get executed and made Ishimaru vote for himself. That would have been actually meaningful! That would have actually been tragic! It’s literally that simple. His death in the game was just there for shock value. It’s not deep, it’s bad writing.

Here’s an another reason: Ishimaru was mourning Mondo’s death when he was killed. “But Kat! Hiyoko was mourning Mahiru’s death when she was killed!” Here’s why that comparison doesn’t work: Hiyoko and Ishimaru are fundamentally different characters. Ishimaru was extensively bullied and literally had no friends before Mondo, therefore he was automatically closer tho Mondo than Hiyoko was to Mahiru. Also, he was more emotionally devastated because it turned out that his only friend ever was a murderer! It would be way more fair to compare Ishimaru and Mondo to Fuyuhiko and Peko instead. And you know what? Fuyuhiko survived. He went out and became more trusting of others and made friends. Ishimaru should have survived as well. He should have slowly but steadily recovered from Mondo’s death and lived on with hope for the future. He should have made friends! My top picks for him are Aoi (both are literal rays of sunshine + Aoi could have cheered him up after Mondo’s death), Naegi (obviously), and.... (and i can’t stress this hard enough!) ...Togami. Yeah, Togami. Which brings me to my next point.

Okay okay,, hot take: Ishimaru x Togami would have been a good friendship/ship. Ishimaru hates Togami because he feels like he got everything handed to him instead of having to work to reach his position. However, if you play through Togami’s FTEs, you will know that that is in fact not the case and that Togami did have to work hard to get where he is now. Both Ishimaru and Togami worked to earn their Ultimate talents and take pride in their achievements. If Ishimaru survived, I believe they could have developed mutual respect and a meaningful friendship. Also since their personalities are so different, it would be interesting to see how they would interact as friends/lovers. (Ok before y’all yell at me, I love Ishimondo, but I do think that Ishimaru’s and Togami’s relationship had a lot of unexplored potential)

Basically, Ishimaru’s death was a huge waste of potential and was there just for shock value. Okay that’s it thanks for coming to my TEDtalk!

#ishimaru kiyotaka #danganronpa: trigger happy havoc #dr #dr1 #drthh #danganronpa 1 #essay #lactic acid talks #lactic acid posts #long post

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bunny-wan-kenobi · 5 years

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Bunny’s GOT Top 10

So I’ve been re-watching old GOT episodes this week as a bit of a cleanse (believe me it’s been good for the soul) because while things soured in Season 8, when GOT has been good, it’s been AMAZING. And it’s been encouraging for me to revisit the episodes that struck a chord in me and stayed with me because as I said before, NO ONE can take that away from me. So here’s my personal favorite episodes:

10. Kissed By Fire (3x5)

This episode lingers with me because it’s a character-driven one with a bittersweet quality to it that pulls you in. It’s an episode about choices and their consequences, and the choices alluded to and made here leave a significant mark on the characters’ lives. It’s also an episode that adeptly balances action, intrigue, and rich dialogue-heavy scenes.

Highlights: Jon and Ygritte consummate their love, introduction of Davo’s first and always #1 adopted child Shireen, Beric vs The Hound, Robb makes the fatal error of executing Karstark (I love the score for that scene)

Favorite Scene: Jaime revealing why he killed Aerys to Brienne at Harrenhall. Both actors were captivating in the way they carried this profound moment, and it’s one of the best GOT monologues.

9. Fire and Blood (1x12)

After the shocking and climatic death of Ned Stark, this episode manages to draw together all the characters’ threads into an emotionally compelling season finale. This is where all that time investing in these characters pays off as we see them both mourn their losses but prepare for their next move, perfectly setting the stage for Season 2.

Highlights: Robb crowned King in the North, Tyrion is made Hand to the King, Arya meets her new crew of Gendry, Hot Pie, and Lommy

Favorite Scene: Dany rising from the ashes with 3 dragons. It doesn’t get more hopeful and iconic than that.

8. Hardhome (5x8)

It was tough not ranking this one higher because it’s really an exceptional episode that hammered in just how much of a threat the White Walkers are to the rest of humanity. Not only that, but we get rewarded with some long-awaited character interactions, some painful to watch and others simply engrossing.

Highlights: Dany and Tyrion’s first meeting (so GOOD seeing the interplay with these two), Jon slays his first White Walker, Sansa and Theon reunite, Karsi the Free Folk chieftainess

Favorite Scene: The Night King raising the dead as Jon and the remaining Free Folk flee in diminished numbers. It’s a game-changing and tragic moment with a haunting final image, even as it spawned a slew of new memes.

7. A Knight of the Seven Kingdoms (8x2)

This one ranks higher because of the way it emotionally resonated with me, and it’s one that doesn’t lose its introspective power the more I re-watch it. It has a play-like elegance honed in on these intimate scenes between characters simply working through their tensions as well as reflecting upon their pasts. It truly is a love letter to these characters, honoring their journeys and their relationships as they quietly await the dreaded Long Night.

Highlights: Jaime’s trial, Jaime and Tyrion’s conversations about family and “self-betterment,” Sam gives Jorah Heartsbane, Jon reveals his parentage to Dany, the “Fireside Club” (honorable mention to everyone’s reactions to Tormund’s ridiculous tale), the gorgeous marriage of melancholic imagery with Daniel Portman’s rendering of “Jenny of Oldstones”

Favorite Scene: Brienne’s knighting by Jaime. One of the rare moments of pure light and joy on the show, and a beautiful tribute to Brienne’s idealism and honor as well as her transformative and magnetic relationship with Jaime.

6. Rains of Castamere (3x9)

I remember how devastated I was when I first saw this episode. The set-up to it was so well laid out that it was inevitable, but the almost-Shakespearean sense of tragedy still hurts to this day. The performances here are raw and powerful, and from the moment the ominous strains of the Lannisters’ song begin, you can’t look away.

Highlights: Jon leaves Ygritte and just misses a reunion with Bran and Rickon, Jorah’s epic team-up with Daario and Barristan Selmy in Yunkai, Bran and Rickon say goodbye

Favorite Scene: The massacre at the Twins. I mean...what else could it be? This entire sequence is heartbreaking, from Arya realizing her family is being slaughtered to Greywind’s death to Catelyn’s final wail.

5. The Watchers on the Wall (4x9)

This episode stands out to me as one that testifies most to Jon’s journey. It illuminates his strengths as a leader, the fire-forged loyalty of his friendships, and the poignancy of his first love: Ygritte. There are some spectacular action pieces here, and even the deaths of minor characters heft an emotional punch. It’s also one of the few episodes to be grounded in one location, and that adds to its depth.

Highlights: Grenn’s last stand against the giant, Sam defeats a Thenn, Ygritte dies in Jon’s arms

Favorite Scene: Jon taking command on the ground level. There’s an elemental ferocity and resolve in the way he carves his way through the battle, turning the tide in a way everyone bears witness to.

4. Baelor (1x9)

The episode that changed everything. I wept when I read the chapter where Ned dies in the book, and I still wept here seeing it onscreen. His execution is so abrupt and unjust and horrific that the impact of this moment reverberates throughout the story forever after. There’s actually a LOT that happens in this episode, and it’s all riveting.

Highlights: Robb defeats and captures Jaime, Dany tragically loses her child to save Khal Drogo’s life (it’s weird calling this a highlight but it’s a deeply sorrowful and important moment), Jeor Mormont gives Jon Longclaw

Favorite Scene: Ned’s death. It’s still hard to watch because it’s so painful.

3. Battle of the Bastards (6x9)

Brilliantly shot, edited, and acted, this episode is one of the most memorable of the GOT battles. It works because it doesn’t lose sight of the characters, conveying the horrors of warfare to a visceral degree. The ending is also one of the most satisfying in the show, cathartic even as the wounds of battle linger.

Highlights: Dany’s triumph in the battle at Mereen, Sansa’s “Riders of Rohan” rescue with the Knights of the Vale, Dany meets Yara and Theon, Sansa ends Ramsay with his own hounds

Favorite Scene: Jon draws out Longclaw to make a final stand as the calvary races towards him. It’s just one of those shots that becomes emblematic of the show and the character, and Djawadi scores it beautifully.

2. Blackwater (2x9)

This episode is teeming with amazing character moments and splendid visuals. But I love it most because it’s the peak of Tyrion’s leadership arc within the first two seasons. He commands the troops and the screen, and it’s hard not to root for him as he amasses the full force of his cleverness and resilience to fight against looming odds.

Highlights: Bronn lights it up with wildfire, Cersei and Sansa’s conversations (some great Lena Headey moments here), Cersei’s lion story to Tommen on the throne, the Hound leaves the battle and Kingsguard after seeing flames

Favorite Scene: Tyrion’s speech. It embodies the character so well: irreverent, pragmatic with a good dose of “to hell with it!”

1. The Winds of Winter (6x10)

I have re-watched this episode so many times I’ve lost count. It contains all the best of what GOT represents to me: rich characterization, well-cultivated storytelling, and rewarding plot payoff against a backdrop of exceptional score and cinematography. More than that, it’s the kind of episode that I leave feeling like I’ve experienced something truly special, something ineffable.

Highlights: Jon revealed as the son of Rhaegar and Lyanna, Dany proclaims Tyrion Hand of the Queen, Arya gets revenge on Walder Frey, Davos confronts Melissandre about Shireen’s death, Jon made King in the North

Favorite Scene: THE WHOLE EPISODE. Okay, I’ll just cheat and share just two scenes. The first is the entire Light of the Seven sequence because I just think it’s the perfect scene. It’s builds up its ominous tension so brilliantly and brings everything to such an explosive climax so incredibly supported by the music that it’s a work of art. The second is the ending, which I also think is perfect. It’s what so much of the story has been working towards: Dany sailing to Westeros, and every visual, from her standing proudly on the ship to the combined forces of several houses to her dragons soaring above her, culminates in this triumphant moment that is simply unmatched.

#got #game of thrones #got meta #where bunny summarizes what got means to her #bunny posts

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mercerislandbooks · 5 years

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(Re)Discover Dorothy Dunnett

Since working at Island Books I’ve often recommended Dorothy Dunnett and The Game of Kings to people looking for high quality historical fiction, so I was excited to find out that the whole series is being reissued this month. We have a special treat for our customers, a complete set to raffle! Some lucky person will get to experience the whole series, courtesy of Island Books and Penguin Random House (details below).

Nothing was better in college than opening up my little PO box to find a card saying “You have a package!” I went to college in Massachusetts so often my mom sent care packages filled with treats to share with my hall mates. Sometime in the fall of my first year she included a book in the box. The Game of Kings, by Dorothy Dunnett, volume one of the Lymond Chronicles.

My limited time for leisure reading and my small collection of books that weren’t for class made a new addition welcome, something to look forward to cracking open. The cover was promising, the back jacket synopsis led me to believe that I’d be reading historical fiction set in Scotland with complex political and familial dynamics. I’d devoured all of Sharon Kay Penman’s historical fiction in high school, so this looked right up my alley.

It’s hard to describe my first encounter with Dorothy Dunnett and Francis Crawford. A beloved Scottish writer of the sixties and seventies, Dunnett’s prose is dense, studded with vocabulary I didn’t know and couldn’t guess from context. Her storytelling was not straightforward. It was clear Dunnett knew what she was doing, masterfully so, and I was lost. I could tell there were layers upon layers, nuance and misdirection that I simply wasn’t picking up on. Her characters quote songs and poetry in foreign languages and on the story went, with no translation, no notes at the back. Those of us who didn’t know innumerable other languages were left to gamely try to keep up and hope it wasn’t pivotal.

And then there was Francis Crawford of Lymond, prodigal son, though more of a unrepentant black sheep, undeniably clever and totally unlikeable. This might have been my first encounter in a novel I was reading for pleasure with an anti-hero. I was not a fan. I didn’t understand why everyone was drawn to him. He seemed relentlessly cruel with his family and followers, appeared to delight in flouting all conventionality, and was annoyingly good at everything he did. I didn’t find his described physical attractiveness making up for all of his flaws. I liked Will, his young idealistic protégé. I wanted him to be the hero of the story. Will was very obviously good, despite casting his lot in with Lymond. I liked Christine Stewart, a pragmatic young blind woman with a taste for light intrigue. I liked Lymond's complex mother, Sybilla, who seemed take the antics of all her children in stride. Yet, by the end, I had to admit that under all the things I didn’t like about him, Lymond worked toward the greater good, and was just as emotionally devastated as I was by a shocking plot twist. It softened me, but only the tiniest bit, towards him.

You’d think, given this experience, I would have had it with Dorothy Dunnett, Francis Crawford of Lymond and the whole thing. But I knew there were more books in the series, I had many long plane flights in my future, and a nagging to find out what happened next. There were characters I did care about, like Will, and wanted to know what happened to them. I could live with Lymond, and the untranslated foreign languages and the incomprehensible politics as long as I could be taken away for hours on end when sitting in a cramped plane seat. Onto Queen’s Play and the treacherous French court I went.

Along the way through the six books of the Lymond Chronicles and four years of college something happened. I started to like Lymond. Don’t get me wrong, the further along I got in the books, the more convoluted the plot and the characters, to the point where they could give any soap opera a run for their money. I still felt like I was missing about fifty percent of all the nuance. I didn’t care anymore; I was entranced. As more of Lymond’s history was revealed, the more unguarded moments he had, the more I saw him as a tragic figure, rather than a villain, ruthlessly doing the right thing for everyone else at the expense of his own character and happiness. By the end I hoped against hope that Lymond might have a happy ending, idealist that I am. It didn’t seem like he would, too much was stacked against him. Still I hoped.

This first experience of the Lymond Chronicles was far from my last. I am, as I have mentioned before, an unapologetic rereader. The first time through I am racing to find out what happens plot-wise. Once I know how it all ends, I enjoy reading again for character, for language, for the hints and foreshadowing that are so deliberately crafted. I’ve reread the Lymond Chronicles multiple times over the years. I fall back under Dunnett’s spell, her narrative pulling me along to the next volume and the next. Each time I see a little more of her intricate plotting and character building. By maybe my third reading of The Game of Kings, I started making a list of the words (in English) that I didn’t know and looking them up. Page one began with douce, an adjective of Scottish origin, appropriately enough, meaning sober, sedate, and gentle. Three paragraphs later I added oriflamme. I was just on page one. A two part Dorothy Dunnett Companion details all those pesky untranslated foreign passages as well as more of the historical figures and events she covers. I bought it, yet I never got around to reading it side by side, always being so quickly absorbed into the world. Perhaps for my next rereading.

To enter the raffle for the complete set of the Lymond Chronicles, email Island Books at [email protected] with the subject as DUNNETT RAFFLE. One entry per person. We will accept entries up until end of day, Wednesday, May 22nd, and then contact the winner via email. Best of luck to all of you!

-Lori

#lori robinson #island books #dorothy dunnet #lymond chronicles #vintage #penguin random house

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orribuontheinternet · 6 years

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Depression and Drawing.

When I was a young lass (I want to say around 7-8 years old), I saw my biological father drawing something while he sat on the porch. The details are fuzzy, but I do remember it being an equine of some sort. He was working in ink. Watching him was so fascinating that I decided that I too wanted to be an artist. To be able to imagine something and put it to paper was a foreign concept to me, one that I was excited about. Oddly enough, my first ever drawing was of an intangible concept: an emotion. I forgot why little me was so knee-deep in sadness at the time, but I remember doodling a self-portrait of a sad, crying baby Olive while holding back my tears. Underneath (or around, I can't recall) was a caption that kind of stated the obvious: "Olivia is sad." When I think about that moment, I wonder if that was a form of foreshadowing since I suffer from...well, Major Depression. But we'll get back to that later. I think this drawing was spawned from a conflict with my siblings, but I can't rightly recall. I do, however, remember that someone tore the picture to pieces. Then came the waterworks.

I want to pause for a second and let you know that I'm going to try not to throw a pity party. I'm not going to whine and stuff this note with melodramatic hyperbole. If you can stomach an emotional artist digging deep into her head and making her introspection tangible, I encourage you to keep reading. If not, I respect your decision to stop.

To segue on to a brighter note, I started drawing in elementary school. I remember the exhilarating feeling of finishing my work. My proudest moment, aside from a (not) Sonic-themed powerpoint, was a storybook I made in fifth grade. It was a flip book of some sort, and very colorful. I think it had something to do with James and the Giant Peach considering it was a book report. But that was an impression I left. Olive, the artist. This carried on into middle school, where I first discovered anime thanks to an art teacher who had the magic VCR/TV cart we 90s kids remember fondly. He showed us Princess Mononoke, one of Hayao Miyazaki's well-renowned works. It was um...horrifying. The film scared the everloving shit out of me, but I was intrigued by it. There was something really cool about the way the people looked, far different from the Ms. Frizzles and Rugrats I came to know. It captivated me, and when I got over the stomach-churning blood and guts the movie presented, I strove to attain that cool aesthetic. I was always doodling during my classes and lunchtime and recess. People came to know me as that kid that draws. Some of them flocked to me and asked me to doodle something for them. It was annoying in hindsight, but at the time it brought me immense pride. People were interested in something I was doing! This development boosted my motivation; I drew picture after picture, happily sharing it with anyone who was interested. It was invigorating! Then high school happened, and I realized I wasn't as amazing as I initially thought I was. In 2006 I was accepted into the prestigious Philadelphia Highschool of Creative and Performing Arts (henceforth shortened to "CAPA," as to avoid the apparent mouthful of syllables). I attended with a major in visual arts, which I took alongside my core classes, i.e., math, science, and English. The first few months were humbling, to say the least. I took ceramics, graphic art, and observational drawing. During this year, I also discovered the magic (to a 15-year-old anyway) of Naruto. That was my biggest obsession since the Dragonball Z/Rurouni Kenshin/Outlaw Star/Big O/etcetera days. Where I used to make "Dark Sonic" characters and the like, I made a step towards creating a world of my own. Thus, after a painful defeat in an original character tournament, I decided it was time to start harnessing my writing and narrative skills, as well as my drawing skills. And so I strove to improve, even with those dents in my pride. It became something I was proud of, almost an obsession. I wanted to share it with the rest of the world, so I went for it.

(The first piece I’ve shared with the internet via deviantART.)

This is where my real artistic journey began. When I started, I had no idea of how mentally, physically, and emotionally tolling this would be. Half the time I've made things way more difficult than they've needed to be: sleepless nights, crouching over a desk, risky investments that granted little to no return and thus resulted in me digging myself into a deeper hole of debt, periods of psychological agony–I've experienced a great deal since I started creating these...things. In my naivety, I envisioned making money off of my creativity, having fun, meeting fans around the world, and hitting up cons like those really cool people I follow on the internet. I started comparing myself to more celebrated, experienced artists, to the point where I'd cry out of eye and earshot and wonder why I can't be as good as them. Why can't I be as skilled, or successful, I'd ask myself. This is when I should have realized that the Depression I suffer from has a voice. It'd tell me that I'd never amount to anything, let alone reach that level of expertise and fame. It was painfully merciless and cruel, and I was its punching bag. I'd start wondering what the point was and why I should even try to engage in this creative expression. Then, something tragic happened:

I realized I was falling out of love with it.

I didn't feel the same exhilaration I'd get when I finished something as simple as a little scribble. I didn't feel the warm burst of energy that I felt when I'd make a breakthrough. I desperately scrambled for something–anything–that would rekindle my love for creating again. Then, after some introspection, I decided that I wanted to try for animation. It had always fascinated me during my time in grade school, so I did some research and even wrote a thesis about animation and why it inspired me. To an extent, the passion I have for the arts did come back a little, but it was just a spark. When I started college, I was reluctantly proud of myself. I started dreaming big again, thinking about how amazing it would be if I could create my own animated series and bring my narratives to life. And so, the dreams of being able to support myself and my family returned to the forefront of my mind, again. While I hopped and skipped through my first year at uni, I built a lot of friendships I never thought I'd have after a painful summer season. I thought back to how I tried and failed to start an art team and decided to go for it again. And thus, after planning gatherings and messing around with my friends, Exploding Fairies was born!

(Old Exploding Fairies logo.)

The Depression and my wounded confidence, however, wouldn't allow for anything to go past casual hangouts and being a nuisance to my teammates. Everything boiled down to three things:

1) I was unwilling to relinquish control of any of the facets of the alliance and our stories. To me, the story we worked on was my baby, and only I would have a say in whatever developments occurred. 2) I lacked the leadership and communication skills to collaborate with my partners effectively. 3) Considering the nature of my requests, I SHOULD have been paying my partners as an incentive. I lacked the money to compensate them for their time and talent adequately. I could very well be painting myself in a horrible light considering how terribly influential my depression is to my self-esteem.

(The image above is by @cucoo.)

(Concept drawings of Dan’s actual identity.)

However, exposure and companionship don't necessarily pay the bills. Besides, I was still a "nobody on the internet!" I may as well have kicked sand in their faces. At least, that's what the disease told me. I grew bitter towards the world when Homestuck and a traumatizing anime gained the admiration of my friends. I became green with envy, wondering why my work didn't win such affection. That summer, I went into overdrive. I started an original character tournament of my own and gained a considerable following. I even found love again!

After a busy three months, I jumped into my second year of college. This is when I finally collapsed under the weight of my mental ailments. Week after week, I stressed almost hyperbolically to the point where a single mistake could mean the end of the world to me. I officially started as an animation student (the first year was mostly core studies with elective and liberal arts on the side), and I wanted to bring my A-game to the forefront. I was going to wow everyone with my knowledge of technology while I navigated through the hills and valleys of my second year. I got to take a course in digital 2D animation, the media I've had my eyes on since I started my college career. Everything just hinged on whether I could manage my workload (I took 18 credits). Apart from the building stress, financial troubles, and impaired health, everything seemed fine. That notion, however, was shattered when I lost my progress on a 2D animation assignment. It was all over. All of that hard work that I put in (without saving, no less) was destroyed by a corrupted file. I didn't have a backup file ready for such an occasion. Admittedly, it was my fault for letting my guard down. I should have known better as a geeky artist! To me, there was no way I could ever recover from that. I was an idiot and a crappy artist anyway! I was a failure! I was nothing! All of the horrible thoughts that my sickness cataloged was thrust into my conscious mind, impairing my ability to reason. Devastated and afraid, I called my crush and opened up about what happened. The pressure finally cracked me, and she had to talk me down from attempting suicide.

The turn of events affected everything, from my focus to my ability to complete my assignments. My crush advised me on what steps I should take while moving forward. I was hospitalized to prevent any harm I could bring to myself. I really DID want to escape from the unbearable pain my sick mind caused me. Eventually, I had to contact the dean of students and was referred to an affiliated therapist. After conversing with him and the dean, we all decided that it'd be best if I were committed to an outpatient program to start on the road to recovery. Fast forward to 2012 or 2013, when I completely lost faith in myself as an artist, and thus, my love for art. I didn't think it'd happen, but I hit what I conceived as rock bottom. I swore off drawing. It didn't bring me joy anymore, and why continue dabbling in something that I'd never be good at?

Unfortunately, the resulting slump turned out to be thicker than I'd imagine and I entered a state of deep depression. I rarely got out of bed, I overate and sometimes didn't eat at all, I never picked up a pencil or opened photoshop, never reached out to the people who I knew and who loved me...I was virtually dead to the world. Some good things happened that, in hindsight, I should have cherished. For starters, my crush became my girlfriend, and we lived together in an apartment in Center City. I was too smothered in the fog to show my appreciation and love for her adequately. She loved me and loved my work, which in turn brought back my passion for creating. If I couldn't financially support myself with my art, the least I could do is bring her joy and feed her imagination.

(We both love semi-horror and anime, so our roleplays took that direction.)

Sadly, thanks to the disease even something as precious as her happiness wasn't enough. When I look back, I can see the hurt in her eyes, but during the time I had such horrible tunnel vision and was so disappointed about things not working out with my art that I couldn't sense that. Me, a self-proclaimed empath! My desperate greed and envy were my downfall, and I limped my way down the artsy-fartsy road. I'd draw fan art and create fan comics, only to become bitter about either the lack of replies or patrons on Patreon or the perceived disregard for any personal ventures I took.

I did my first convention at Anime Impulse back in 2015, and after a pretty bad time in the artist alley, I swore off drawing again. I remember nights of staring blankly at the computer screen, smashing Command or Control +Z and ultimately throwing my stylus down, closing photoshop, and crying out of frustration. I remember pulling my hair and sobbing when I faced rejection. It was an incredibly painful time for me. That's not to say I still don't experience that now as I totally do, but something happened this year that strengthened my stride.

I posted something on Tumblr earlier this year about my frustration when it comes to creating art. It was specifically about how I get stuck in the "polishing" phase of building a webcomic page, but when I look back, I can actually attribute it to art in general. I became a "perfectionist." Nothing was impressive enough to finish or release, and I'd wind up with more works in progress than finished ones. My morale just kept dipping lower and lower, and finally, when picking up a webcomic project that I started more than a year ago, I vented my frustrations. To this, my crush, who became my fiancé some four years ago, replied with this:

"You polish because you’re not confident with your work because you're in an evolution phase. Fear holds you back. So you go back and edit. And edit. And edit. So stop the cycle. Kill the fear by not letting it have time to take hold."

Her words of encouragement and insight changed my perspective in ways I've never expected. It was almost like it triggered an epiphany or a breakthrough in my mind! I was reminded of her love and faith in me! With that came a ray of hope, that I could try again, and this time, throw my fear-induced caution to the wind! While my depression still has a voice and beats me down from time to time, I realize that it's just scared. I realized that when Brittany and I sat down and played through Celeste together. I related it to my sadness and anxiety surrounding art, and now I'm slowly getting back on my feet. I can't displace the blame and "use" my mental ailments as a scapegoat. I can't come up with excuses to give up on what I do. There is SOMETHING in creating visual media that breathes life into me.

(I started learning to let go.)

Looking towards the future, I hope I can look back on even these trying times and remind myself of where I was and how stronger I've become because of it. I'm still struggling with comparing myself to others and crashing into creative and motivational blocks, but someday I'll rise above it all. Besides, I should be doing it for me, right? The external validation should just be the topping on a sweet sundae.

That's why I keep drawing, in spite of the voice's apprehension. We're going to get through this together, I promise.

#personal #tw: sucide mention #art #mental health #depression

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toukaisbetterthanyou · 7 years

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I come again bearing a long review to spam your blog because I don't know how to add the read more cutoff line

I wish I could add gifs to this, sadly you’ll have to deal with the wall of text and mountain of salt because I just got off a 36 hour shift from hell. I did sneak a peek at the Ayahina fluff so I am saving that for after I finish this because I have a feeling- based on last week’s ending- that this chapter will royally piss me off- in a good way.

I am also going to play a little game with this chapter based on this because I just recently read this book on recognizing emotionally abusive relationships so I am going to check anything that fits Touken in this AU.

/I am sorry in advance for any poor comprehension this reaction will show. 36 hours with only 30 minutes of sleep in them./

– and even ignores the phone calls that she received on her cell phone. After the first day at his flat, she turns it off entirely. He can’t hold back a smile from seeing her do that.

And here we go. Touka, baby girl, y u do dis? Those are your family and friends. I realize they have been less than understanding about the whole situation but you’re ghosting them for the goth fuckboy?!

He would miss her once he was gone.

/EXPLODING IN RAGE/ YOU LITTLE BITCH! IF YOU HAD A DECENT BONE IN THAT RIPPED BODY OF YOURS YOU WOULD LET THE POOR WOMAN GO! Not that I am absolving Touka of the blame here, she is willingly going along with this but he is seriously pissing me off. I realize his love is supposed to be selfish but imho, that line proves there isn’t much love to begin with because he hasn’t yet considered changing his plans for Touka and/or the baby.

Sex had always helped her forget her problems. When Ken is inside of her, she doesn’t have to worry about the growing child inside of her, or Nishiki and Yomo-san, or her own anxiety about whether this child was even viable.

The trouble always came after.

You feel bad about yourself when you are around him. [✔]

You only feel good about yourself when you are with him. [✔]

This isn’t love.

She just wants it to be. Badly.

At least we can rejoice in knowing she is self-aware.

She could fool herself into believing that it would last. That he was doing this out of love and not some misplaced selfishness in finally having something to call his own.

She was hurting too, and in a moment of resigned irony, accepted it.

She would play the fool and take what she was given.

You find yourself accepting him “for now,” even though you have plenty of red flags that would help you terminate the relationship if you paid attention to them. [✔]

How funny that Kaneki of all people was taking her out on a date? After everything they had gone through, it was laughable that the prospect of a date was what really tripped her up.

Babe, it’s part of the “not giving any fucks” attitude a lot of people with concrete suicidal ideation have. It should trip you up!

or she’d go to the chateau, and later, his flat.

I thought she avoided the chateau because of the murder babies in it? I am interested in knowing more details about this, would any of the Qs know about her? Would this affect the story?I want Saiko!

Even back then – long ago, there hadn’t been a label placed on what they did. She had viewed it as stress relief, and who better to sleep with then the sweet boy that he had been? She had realized too late what he had meant to her, and by that point he had become an entirely different person.

I was under the impression they had a one night stand before the raid but this paragraph is making me imagine they had a thing going for longer than that which would be really interesting to contrast with their current relationship.

Still, nothing had changed. He was still a dove. He was still choosing to kill ghouls.

She tries not to think about it.

Your value system and his are very different, and it is problematic. [✔]

I have been thinking about this since last chapter tbh. I come from a minority that has suffered genocide in its history and I kept wondering if I would ever actually date someone who was an accomplice to the murder of my people and the mere thought of that made me feel disgusted with myself.

I know Touka is self-loathing and does not value her ghoul nature but even so, being with someone who works and profits from killing her species (or race?) would just add to the slew of issues she has going. Especially when you consider she started re to be a haven for ghouls the way Anteiku was and now she was sleeping with the enemy, the internal conflict must be out of this world and no result of it would be positive.

What are you trying to do right now? The question is lodged in her throat, like lead. Did he really want them to be together? Did he truly want a family with her? Or was this some sort of elaborate scheme to cage her even further?

…

She’s the oddest mix of ecstatic and devastated. Her hands tremble around the bunny. It was an adorable little thing – so cute. This was nice of him to do, wasn’t it? Ken was always doing nice things like this for her. Things that made her fall for him a little more each time. She’s almost hysterical.

You feel uncomfortable about something he has said or done, and the feeling remains. [✔]

You think he’s too charming or a little “too good to be true.“ [✔]

But I have to admit that the bunny date idea is quite adorable. I wonder if those actually exist? I don’t want to Google and be disappointed. I do find it tragic that this is something Touka would enjoy but she is so melancholy right now that she can’t ease up and forget about everything for 30 minutes to pet a bunny.

“Do you want to buy it?” Ken asks, watching her as she sets it back into the pen.

Sure, dick, bring in another life to abandon later. The more the merrier. Why not adopt a couple of impoverished children while you’re at it?

“Why not?” Ken asks, “You’ll be living with me now. There’s no reason for you to work, so you’ll have plenty of time.”

I’m sorry? Who the fuck do you think you are? Did you accidentally get into Marty McFly’s car and transported yourself back to the 1950s?

“Yes,” he responds, still smiling that cheerful smile of his. The dimple on the side of his cheek seems to be taunting her.

SOCK HIM AGAIN TOUKA! SOCK THE BASTARD RIGHT IN THAT FUCKING DIMPLE OF HIS!

“You’ll need help with the baby,” he says, in a very matter of fact kind of way. “I don’t want you to be alone in case there are any complications.”

Oh, good to know you are considering complications but before you imprison her in some flat with a disgruntled reception office employee, have you considered getting her a doctor? Prenatal vitamins at least? Moving away from the CCG who want her dead? A college fund for the kid? Finding a place to live? I doubt the CCG will just ignore your apartment after you go rogue on them and you want her to be there when it happens? May as well put a bulls eye billboard on top of your apartment building.

And who is going to help with the baby? Will your ghost ass drop by from the afterlife to change a couple of diapers? Maybe rock the baby to sleep? What a shit excuse.

“I won’t let that happen,” he says stubbornly.

Unless he is planning a Samson style suicide attack on the CCG, I have no idea how he could possibly do that from beyond the Cochlea compactor.

“Where are we?” She wanted to go home. This entire day had been tiring and her mood only continued to worsen.

You are emotionally tired from him; you feel he “sucks the life out of you." [✔]

He answers, getting out of his side to open the passenger door to help her out.

At least he’s being a gentleman?

“We need to start shopping for them, or else we won’t have enough time after they get here.”

We? We? We?!!! What we is he fucking talking about?! That’s it, this proves he believes in reincarnation or something. Either that or he’s taking Touka and the kid with him when goes to get his ass kicked by his dad.

I don’t think I can explain how much his attitude is pissing me off!

No, she couldn’t do this. But his grip on her arm was firm and he looks at her with a pensive stare, almost like he was trying to make amends.

Touka, babe, embrace your inner Chuck Norris and roundhouse kick him in the face!

Once we get home, those words make her feel good, pathetically enough.Stupid , one word from him was enough to make that pathetic, longing part of swell with misplaced hope

/ugly crying/ mods, y u do dis?

He holds up a little jacket, too small to belong to a child. It was pink and soft looking, the insides lined with fleece.

There were bunny ears attached to the hood.

He gives her a wry smile.

“What do you think?”

Dirty move, Ken. Dirty fucking move. I am 19 weeks pregnant now and I crack at the sight of any baby items, using bunny ears to break down her defenses is such a dirty move.

On a side note, the image of the goth reaper in a sea of pastels and waddling pregnant women is making me laugh so hard. That image is not enough for me to forgive you for this chapter though.

What would they act like? How would she – be with them? She’s always liked kids, but to be a parent? She wonders how her mother had done it?. How had she brought in two children into their world, even knowing that it wasn’t a safe place for them? How did her father support her knowing that any moment, one of them could be snatched away?

/ugly wailing/

This makes her blink. Too late? Too late for what? “What do you mean?” He doesn’t answer her, and instead lifts her dress up over her hips, and palms her over her panties. Then, he’s hastily removing his gloves and sliding his hand underneath the elastic band to touch her directly. She loses track of what she had been attempting to say.

Using sex to ignore present problems, kinda like how you got into your current predicament. Nothing new to see here.

Maybe this could work.

Don’t be stupid.

Maybe he was changing. Things could be different now

Don’t delude yourself.

This honestly breaks my heart. I am alternating between NO and YES so fast that my head is getting whiplash.

Then, she asks again.

“What do you mean by too late?”

…

“Answer my question,” she says, this time taking only the head into her mouth and hollowing her cheeks as she sucks

Aha, the deepthroat interrogation technique. Classic. Can’t say I haven’t used it myself. I am sure the CCG would get a lot further with their investigations if they used it in Cochlea.

“T-There’s never enough time,” he says weakly. “With you. Being with you. Like this,” is the only sentence that he has the presence of mind to string together. She has a feeling that’s not all there was to it, but she’s satisfied with his answer for now.

That is such a half assed answer and Touka, dear, I don’t know how you could possibly be satisfied with it. You have his cock in your mouth, that means you have the upper hand, play it!

not ripping them to shreds because she would be upset.

So you didn’t mind her getting upset before? What a piece of shit.

She can’t respond when he begins to suck her pert nipples into peaks, kneading the swollen breasts and making her quake from the sensitivity she felt.

When my fiance did that, he ended up with tinnitus from how loud I screamed so lucky you Kaneki, lucky you.

“You’re mine,” He whispers, with an excited smile, “All mine,” And then, “It’s just going to be us.”

Now read that with the soundtrack to any thriller film and tell me it doesn’t fit perfectly.

He’s never been like this during sex. So attentive. Well, he was always attentive – like giving her pleasure was more of an impulse, something that he needed, rather than something that he actually did for her benefit. It had gotten him off to make her come, to make her delirious from her pleasure. This feels – different now, though.

/screams into the night/ I didn’t think it was possible for me to like this dick any less but here I am, somehow sinking lower into the abyss. I thought you did rough sex before because you both liked it? But now he stopped for the baby or because he may have feelings for her? So you are really embracing your fuckboy status?

Her earlier worry about his behavior was becoming less and less of a concern. Maybe it was idiotic of her to trust him – to blindly have faith in him this way, but maybe he was right.

Maybe they could finally be a family.

You make excuses for why you are dating him. [✔]

You make excuses for his character and minimize his behavior. [✔]

“Why do you need to go back to Re?” Ken asks, watching as she places her phone and the keys that he had given her into her purse. “I told you that you didn’t need to work.”

…

“What if they tell you not to come back?”

You feel isolated from other relationships with friends and family. [✔]

While he is not actually isolating her, he wants it and is manipulating her- consciously or subconsciously- by showing vulnerability to fall for it. What are you so worried about, jerk? That her family may actually talk some sense into her? You want her hanging on your rope till you off yourself then fuck her and her kid?

Something about that fills her with excitement. He needed her. He needed her.

NOOOOOOOOO! BAD BUNNY! BAD BAD BUNNY! THIS SHOULD NOT FILL YOU WITH EXCITEMENT!

Ken’s gloved hand curls around one of her hands.

Why the fuck is he wearing gloves indoors? Was he roleplaying Kureo Mado? Is that the sort of kinky fuckery they are into now?

This might be a cage – but if it was like this, then it might not be so bad.

/facepalm/

It had been a good week since she had left.

I had to read this a couple of times because I thought it was from Yomo and Nishiki’s point of view and was about to add them to the fuckboy list.

But in the end, it’s not a lecture as much as it is a hug from Yomo and a playful slap on the arm from Nishiki.

I am glad they went his route and didn’t give her hell for what happened. It is important for her to know she has a supportive place to go home to.

I’ll be there in half an hour, we can go to the place with the cakes that you like.

Bitch, she is traumatized by throwing up and you want to take her out in public to do an activity that will make her nauseous? WTF?!

Yoriko better be in that bakery.

Touka is deliriously happy.

Denial is not just a river in Egypt.

Neither of them notice a pair of watching eyes from outside of the bakery. A man woman in a black trenchcoat an apron smiles, and then laughs.

…

Somewhere, Kosaka Yoriko is laughing.

Here, fixed that last paragraph for you.

Well, putting aside the emotional trauma this chapter put me through, this was a really well written chapter. I can’t remember the last time I felt so frustrated by a character in a fanfic or so invested in the story in general. I am angry with you in the best way possible because I don’t know if I can wait till next week for a new chapter, the clowns getting involved should make things fun not.

Looking forward to the next chapter but for now, I will just go get depressed about the pathetic state Touka is in.

#asks #replies #anons #nice asks #OH MY GOD #THIS REVIEW #THANK YOU SO MUCH #if you ever come off anon #i'd be happy to explain all of your questions in detail #thank you so much for taking the time to do this #it means so much to know #that our work has had this kind of effect on you!!#submission #original sin ask #i would love you if you forever #if you continued doing reviews like this for our fics #seeing this makes us so happy

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dclatestnewsacademic · 5 years

Text

Economics Trip to Japan

On 29th November at 3am, 2o Dubai College students and 2 teachers left Dubai for Tokyo, a first time destination for DC and as well as for all participants. It was 8pm by the time we got to our hotel in Shinagawa (a district in central Tokyo that many had problems pronouncing correctly!) and it wasn't long before we found ourselves in a traditional ramen restaurant slurping down our first Japanese dish. The food all week was amazing and it was great to see everyone getting stuck in.

It is difficult to pin down any one highlight after a week that included a visit to a sumo wrestling farm; a cycle tour around the Geiko and Meiko districts of Kyoto; strolling the streets of Tokyo's Manga district Akihabara where modern day gaming was created; tea in the 'micro-pig' and cat and owl cafes of bustling Harajuku (needs to be seen to be believed); a visit to the tsunami devastated zone of Fukushima and learning from survivors who remain positive despite the enormity of the adversity they have faced...to name but some. Perhaps a highlight for some was possibly the first full day which saw us take in Team-labs Tokyo (we beat Dua Lipa to it apparently as she visited later that afternoon!) to experience interactive art displays - one involved climbing over giant bean bags through a dark room! Thanks to Khwaish for the suggestion to visit this place - it was fab! Next off, we hopped back on the underground to Ajinomoto Stadium to watch FC Tokyo attempt to beat Urawa Reds and win the J League Cup. Alas they drew and so didn't win but that didn't detract from the experience: Japanese fans love to sing, they didn't stop for the full 90 minutes! After the game we got the underground back to the hotel where it felt like all of Tokyo's 30 million inhabitants were on the train with us. Never have we been so squashed on public transport but it was fun and good-natured.

I'd just like to say how impressed we were with how polite and well-mannered the Japanese are. We learned in our Japanese business etiquette lesson about the importance of manners and protocol when it comes to being with others. They always think about the harmony of the group rather than the individual and so culturally are very empathetic and considerate. We were taught how to bow and the important role business cards play as well as seating arrangements in business meetings. Our visit to the Motomachi Toyota plant was also a highlight. It is very different from the Pepsi Cola factory our Y10 economists visit here in Dubai and we watched concepts such as Kaizen, Kanban, Karakuri, Jidoka, JIT manufacturing in action. We also saw the Toyota Mirai production facility at the plant, the first mid-size hydrogen fuel cell car to be manufactured; particularly interesting after having spent a morning at NEDO (Japan's main hydrogen power plant and hydrogen storage facility) in Fukushima prefecture the previous day. This is Japan's premier R&D facility exploring hydrogen-energy development and the hydrogen created here will power next year's Tokyo Olympics. We also spent time at Panasonic in Osaka looking at how tech had changed over the ages and how such a small start-up had developed, survived and thrived to become the huge multinational it is today.

A huge thank you to David, Miyo and Junko our guides whilst in Japan.

Japan key economic data:

Annualized GDP growth rate 0.2%, unemployment 2.4%, inflation 0.2%, interest rate -0.1%,current account to GDP +3.5%, debt to GDP 238% (wow!), budget deficit -3.8%, retail sales MoM -14.4%

**************************************************************************************

Amara Y11

Overall, after spending a week immersed in Japenese culture, I would say my two highlights of the trip would be the j-league football match (FC Tokyo vs Urawa reds) or should I say the chaotic and crowded trip back to the hotel on the train! I think it's very fair to say I was quite emotionally and mentally invested into that game, anxiously waiting on the edge of my chair and screaming at the top of my lungs whenever any of the FC Tokyo players had control over the ball. It was very disappointing when the game ended in a draw of 1-1, but nonetheless it was still a really fun experience and I got to take home some FC Tokyo merchandise too! My second highlight would have to be the cycling tour of Kyoto. It was such an amazing way to see the city without having to take a bus or walk long distances, gaining some fresh air and a bit of exercise too! Despite my tragic fall off the bike, it was an experience to remember and I loved it! It definitely made me want to cycle more whenever I get the chance to. If anyone is thinking of a trip to Japan, I would highly recommend it, I had such a great time and will definitely be going back to visit in the future!

Taimur Y11

A particularly memorable part of the trip was on the first day when we visited the teamlab museum in Tokyo. The walk-through art pieces they had on display were breathtaking and made me feel things that I didn't think a few rooms filled with water could make me feel. My favourite exhibit specifically was the one with the glowing fish which turned into flowers when you walked through them. My second highlight would definitely be Fukushima, as I had been reading about it beforehand and was highly fascinated with the incident and how it affected Japan as well as the rest of the world. Seeing the different contamination levels on the street signs was really eye-opening as I saw how even 7 years after an event like that, there are still very prominent lingering effects.

Simran Y11

One of the best moments I had in Japan was the first night in Tokyo, when we went to a modern art museum. Bright and early, we headed out to TeamLab Borderless, and were absolutely amazed by what we saw. We were taken on a journey, through rooms, each filled with another mystical theme. My favourite room was a stunning glass display that glowed, synced to the music. The room was utterly breath-taking.

Shibuya was surreal; thousands of billboards towered over skyscrapers, illuminating the streets of Tokyo. The roads bustled with locals, bargaining on every corner. There was an elfin store for traditional Japanese tea, which was stunning. I had an amazing time.

Zainab Y11

My favourite part of the trip was definitely watching a j-league football match live. The electric atmosphere of the stadium and the sheer passion of the supporters was incredible to watch. The volume of people that filled the train afterwards completely reflects the support the Japanese have for the game. The cycling tour of Kyoto was also one of my highlights as we were able to see and experience the city like a local.

See our Flickr album for more photos

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ellen-m-paige · 7 years

Text

Misc. Character Building #1

Source.

So, I saw this list of prompts on my dash and because I have free time, I was like: alright, why not do all of them? (I had to pass some questions without answering them because they have no answers).

TL;DR: She really hates Singed XD

01. What does your character’s name mean? Did you pick it for the symbolism, or did you just like the way it sounded? – Definitely I picked Ellen Paige because it sounded nice. I was not concerned about name meanings when I created her. (But apparently Ellen means “light” and Paige means either Page or “assistance”. That is too romantic for my taste if I’m being honest lol).

02. What is one of your character’s biggest insecurities? Are they able to hide it easily or can others easily exploit this weakness? – Hmm, probably the feeling she had not done well enough in life, that she could achieve more than what she currently had but could not anymore. The aversion against taking other lives is also applicable. She is good at covering these weaknesses up, however.

03. What would be their favorite physical trait about themselves? – Nothing. She does not particularly care about physical appearance.

04. What are their favorite traits about their lover? (one psychological and one physical) – Not applicable. She does not have a significant other.

05. Are they sexually confident or more of the shy type? – Probably the shy type, though the third type would be more correct: the type which does not care.

06. Do they have any hobbies that their lover finds unusual, odd, or otherwise annoying? – Pass.

07. Is there a catchphrase or sound that they tend to make a lot (likely without being aware of it)? – She tends to put “eh” at the end of a sentence to signify a question. She also likes using question tags (like “you know, don’t you?”).

08. What is, perhaps, their biggest flaw? Are they aware of this or oblivious to it? – She is hypocritical, judgmental and intolerant. She finds it difficult to agree with another person’s radically different points of view, especially concerning ethics and moralities, even if she knows the reason for them. She does not see any kind of tragic background enough reason for immoral and destructive behaviors. And yes, she knows this very well. For that reason, she tries her best not to interact with those she finds repulsive.

09. Do they have a favorite season? What about a favorite holiday? – Favorite season is summer. Favorite holiday used to be Progress Day.

10. Is your character more feminine or masculine? – Definitely feminine, though she can be rather dry.

11. What is something that would make your character fly into a rage? – Singed. And the Noxians that enabled him.

12. Is there some particular talent, skill, or attribute that they simply could not give up? – Her talents in hextech machinery, of course. It has been her life and her passion.

13. What are your character’s sleeping habits? Heavy or light sleeper? Blanket stealer? One that always rolls onto the floor? Pushes their lover onto the floor? Sleep talker or walker? – Ellen is a heavy sleeper, but she does not fall asleep easily.

14. Do they live alone or with family? How do they feel about their family/roommates? – She used to live with her father. She loves and respects her father a lot. He is one of the few true friends she has.

15. Is there a certain person in this world that they cannot stand? The very mention of this person’s name makes them tremble with anger or fear. – Singed. Viktor is a close case, but she can somewhat sympathize with his ideals, if not his methods.

16. Is your character the athletic type or more of a couch potato? What are some sports/games that they like? – Couch potato, of course. Well, she sits down to do research, but still. She likes playing video games (I personally think they have simple games like Tetris and snake) and chess.

17. Does your character have dreams of getting married and/or having children? – No.

18. What kind of home would they want to live in? Where would they place this abode? – A one-room apartment is good for her. She doesn’t really put much thought into her residence.

19. Would your character be the kind to get into fights? (physical or verbal) Would they be a good fighter or cave in rather easily? – No, she would avoid fights like the plague. However it is easier for her to get into verbal fights rather than physical ones (she likes to refer to them as arguments or discourse). And if she really gets to it she is a good (and stubborn) arguer.

20. Does your character like animals? What are some of their favorite animals? Would they want pets? What about mythological creatures? – She has a scientific fascination with animals. No she would not want a pet. And no, definitely not mythological creatures.

21. What is one of your character’s biggest fears? How would they react when dealing with this fear? – Her biggest fear is losing her family, her research, and her sense of superior morality. She reacted to this fear (that one time) by cutting her ties in Piltover and moving to Noxus (yes, this is canon).

22. What kind of tattoos, piercings, birthmarks, freckles, and other such unique physical features do they have? – She has ear piercings, and wears small silver earrings.

23. What is your character like when it comes to school? What subjects are they good/bad at? Do they get in trouble a lot or are well behaved? – She generally loves academia and is good at most subjects. However she does struggle a bit with literature and studies of weaponry. She was homeschooled, mostly by her father (what is the education standard in Zaun, anyway?).

24. In their own words, how would your character describe what their lover is like? – Science. (:v)

25. Is there something traumatic from your character’s past that greatly affects them even to this day? – Not really.

26. What is their lover like sexually? How do they feel about their lover’s quirks, needs, etc? – Pass.

27. If your character was going to get arrested, what would be the most likely reason for it? – I… have no idea. She is incredibly law abiding. If she does get arrested, it is most likely she got framed, or it was a drastic point-of-no-return event that would change her character forever. (lol)

28. If your character became a celebrity, what would they be famous for? – Scientific research and inventions. Of course.

29. What is one of the most courageous things your character has ever done for a loved one? – Applying for the Ferros clan’s sponsorship so that her family could move from Zaun. (To be honest, she is a boring character with a not very tragic past).

30. When it comes to the arts (music, film, theater, etc), what does your character like? – She likes novels and instrumental music.

31. Would your character be the kind capable of killing? Would they enjoy killing or only use it when necessary or, perhaps, refuse to kill no matter what? – No. She abhors killing under any form and reason and will refuse to kill no matter what.

32. If your character’s lover offered to take them out on a dream date, what would they want to do? – Pass.

33. If your character wanted to be alone, where would they go? – Stay in her house and work, probably. If she were in Piltover, a café would also be a good choice.

34. Does your character have favorite foods? (breakfast, lunch, dinner, dessert, snacks, etc) – Tea. Give her lots of tea. And coffee (cold brew). Some cookies and pastry to go along will be nice.

35. Is your character afraid of death? If they got to choose how to die, how would they want to go? – Kind of. She understands that death is inevitable but believes she has long before she has to go.

36. Does your character have any medical conditions? Are they serious or minor? Do they affect their day to day life? – No.

37. What are some of your character’s pet peeves? What are some things that annoy them or disgust them? – She is irked by people who use their tragic, unfortunate backgrounds to justify their actions and disregard her opinions and ideals simply because she has not been through the same thing. She is also disgusted by Singed and anything related to or is a byproduct of him.

38. What kind of weather does your character like? Cloudy skies, rainy days, sunshine, etc? – Clear, not so sunny day with blue sky.

39. When people look at your character, is there some assumption they might make about them just by appearance? Is that assumption correct? – She would look like a typical Piltoverian middle-class woman. And yes, that assumption is correct.

40. Does your OC have any guilty pleasures they enjoy? Hobbies, past times, music, etc that they wouldn’t want known by others? – Not… really. Not that I can think of, at least.

41. Does your character’s family affect your character in any way? – Yes. Her father has been an influential figure in her life. Her passion and devotion to technology and progress all stemmed from adoration of her father’s works when she was young.

42. Is there anything in your character’s past that they regret, haunts them, or they wish they could change? – She wished she could change the fact that she had unknowingly used sentient lives to power her inventions, before she realized the truth about the energy crystals.

43. Does your character have a switch that changes aspects of their personality whether they are around friends, family, etc. Is there someone who gets to see their true self? – What is the true self? She believes she is always living her true self. She believes that Ellen Paige is the collection of each and every thought she had and every action she made.

44. Is there a particular event that would emotionally devastate your character? – Probably her father’s death. Or Laina’s death.

45. Is your character the kind to hide their true emotions or do they wear their heart on their sleeve? – Ellen is not emotional. She is quite apathetic with her surroundings, preferring to be rational and observe rather than being emotionally involved. So, she does “wear her heart on a sleeve”, with the “heart” being not existent at all.

46. What is some random affectionate thing that your character always does to their lover? – Pass. (Science the heck outta it?)

47. Is your character outgoing? Would they be the leader of the friend group, or the quiet one that gets dragged along? – No. Ellen is an introvert and she prefers small company.

48. Is there anything in particular that would ignite your character’s jealousy? Or does your character not get envious? – She does not get envious, no. Ellen is quite satisfied with what she currently has.

49. What is something that your character has nightmares about? Are these frequent? Do they heavily affect your character’s mood? – Ellen scarcely remembers anything she dreams about. She only knows afterwards that it was a very bad dream. Her dreams do not affect her mood at all.

50. If your character confessed love to their crush, boyfriend, girlfriend, etc, what would they say? – Pass.

#Headcanons #Character building #Ellen Paige #someone really hates Singed #:v

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canvaswolfdoll · 7 years

Text

CanvasListens: The Adventure Zone

The Adventure Zone was a tough sell to me, despite (and possibly because of) seeing it pop up as various artists I respect began getting into the podcast.

First off, despite my love of the hobby, I have a rather low tolerance for second hand accounts. Short stories focusing on a singular, amusing event is great. Multi-part text narratives are a no go. Likewise, I’ve always had difficulty getting into actual play podcasts, since most that I encounter don’t really put a lot of weight on actual entertainment over, you know, just putting a recorder in the middle of the table during the usual game night. So I listen to very few Actual Plays.

And by ‘few Actual Plays’, I mean One Shot (Which does a good job of rotating content and keeping the separate narratives relatively short and self-contained) and Campaign (Which started with good production quality, and already had my loyalty due to being a One Shot spinoff show.) I don’t even listen to rest of their network.

I’d made a couple attempts at Critical Role, but since it’s a continuation of the cast’s ongoing campaign (thus continuity lockout) and was confined to YouTube for years (thus I couldn’t really listen while driving, running errands, or doing chores), I just couldn’t force myself to be invested. And it’s cast is a bunch of Voice Actors! I love voice actors!

Basically, a bunch of the usual complaints I have about media accessibility.

Further, as Adventure Zone’s popularity began exploding, I admit there was a degree of resentment on my part. I’ve longed harbored a desire to have my own Actual Play show, and if the genre’s exploding now, while I’ve still got no concrete plans, chances are, once I do have my act together,[1] I’ll again be starting during the twilight period of the genre.[2]

Dang it, McElroys! Don’t you burn the fuel before I even board!

Still, it was becoming a talking point, and was a downloadable podcast, so it wouldn’t hurt to try. Probably drop it after an episode or two.

The first couple of episodes were not promising. Players were mostly newbies, with a lot of rules talk; they were running the adventure that comes prepackaged in the Starter Set, which means I had to sit through the session that I’ve literally either tried to run or play several times. And it never gets past the freaking bugbear.

So, of course, after completing that specific portion, the McElroys promptly leave the rails, lightly skip past Phandalin, so I didn’t even get to finally see what’s supposed to happen after the lengthy mechanic and battle tutorial!

However, that’s also the point Griffin began making the story his own, so I might as well keep listening as I eat my slice of pre-work CostCo Pizza.

That’s what the series mostly was. Background noise as I prepared for work. The first couple arcs were okay. Not amazing, but okay. The performers were good comedically, and they seemed to be having fun, so it was alright.

I was intrigued by the premise of the second arc. Train-based mystery, huh? Sure. I’m always game for playing with tropes. Griffin, and the players, were beginning to explore character voices, and the NPCs were getting livelier. I admit, I was a quick sell on Angus. The precocious boy detective being placed in the middle of a train mystery, perpetrated by a serial killer, with a rather maimed body is just the right balance of darkly inappropriate.

Especially since Angus was there to solve the mystery in case the Boys were too incompetent.

Still, wasn’t too absorbed. I began swapping between TAZ Arcs and One Shot series. If I got too bored, I’d just drop TAZ, since podcasts are one of the few mediums I’m able to do so, since I can only will myself to consume them in limited circumstances (basically, while in transit, or some other activity that is physically busy but mentally void).[3]

Combat, however, remained a time for Canvas’s eyes to glaze over, and nothing of value to remain.

The Lunar Interludes were fun! Building comradery with a small community is what I’m about. Especially with their bunkmate, Pringles! Even though Griffin clearly didn’t want anything more to do with Pringles.

Poor Pringles.

Petals to the Metal is marked by many as the real turning point. I… liked it a little less than Rockport Limited? It started strong while the Boys were infiltrating a bank, and Taako has a semi-hypocritical moment I recognized from my favorite Pathfinder character, where this kleptomaniac wizard objected to Merle and Magnus taking time to rob the bank while supposedly saving it.[5]

However, this was followed by a sequence explaining the Mad Max race and infiltration to steal parts which… was actually kind of dull. The dialogue with the guards was great, but then it was long stretch of explaining a compound we’d never see again, and a large fight. Then there was a charming sequence where The Boys selected their animal motifs, with Taako getting an actually pretty nice (if meta) serious moment regarding his Mongoose mask.

Then the race itself was… a giant combat. Interesting enemy concepts. Still a giant combat.

The ending of the race, while exciting, didn’t carry much weight because I’d lost the thread due to not paying attention.

Then there was the final boss fight.

Petals to the Metal had a lot of combat, okay? I don’t enjoy combat!

However, music was beginning to be introduced, and it was pretty good. I was beginning to feel it.

Then the Crystal Kingdom knocked it up just enough notches for me to go ‘Huh. The finale’s coming soon? Better catch up.’ and gently set One Shot aside,[6] lean my head forward, and marathon with purpose!

The sound design continued to improve, to the point of being used to foreshadow the events of the arc. The events also helped highlight how the show creators were paying attention to and heeding the words of their audience. In a positive aspect, Griffin began reading out the lyrics of the song. And, in a bit of hilarious and spiteful worldbuilding, explains the origins of what were (apparently) the much discussed elevators.[7]

In retrospect, a lot of plot stuff happened in the lab. Weird.

It was a good arc for callbacks and call forwards.

Eleventh Hour, however, is my favorite arc. For some reason, I’m just a sucker for Groundhog Day loops.[9] Compounding this, Eleventh Hour was set in a small community of new characters, there was a mystery element, plenty of space for shenanigans, puzzles, ominous prophecy, and a well done tragic villain. Also, backstory for the three leads.

Oh boy, the backstory for the three leads.

I was a Taako fan until this arc. He clearly was the best character. However, as it turns out, Travis really did devise a solid backstory. A few quick early life scenes, then we’re shown he found happiness, won a happy ending already, and had it stolen.

Then Magnus showed his true strength of character, and I was sold. Magnus was my new boy. He’s great.

Anyways, episodes with ‘Finale’ in the title were showing up in the feed, and I wanted to stop spoiling myself, so I really had to buckle down.

Luckily, work kept putting me in the garden center as the season was in its death throes, so I had plenty of time to sit in a small hut with my phone and a pair of headphones. I’d begun actively looking for opportunities to listen to more, take longer errand runs to have an excuse to get through Eleventh Hour and more episodes.

It was a good time.

The Suffering Games however, was less good. Not because it was designed to be a miserable experience, which I naturally love. The sequence of events had a lot good character work, especially for Magnus. The Wheel of Sacrifice is an amazing concept once your players are high enough level, and Griffin does a good job narrating and describing what each sacrifice does.

Especially the loss of memories. Each one stung. And Griffin did a great job of making a few of the choices hurt in surprising ways; in particular, Merl giving up his unused Axe proficiency. What was originally a cop out, Griffin expertly weaved into a solid loss. Then Magnus was given a surprisingly insidious choice: losing the memory of who he had sworn revenge on.

Also a mercy, considering losing Julia might’ve been worse. However, narratively, that would’ve removed Magnus’s main drive and significant portion of his character. Remember, GMs, carefully consider how the threads are weaved before cutting them!

Plus, we also got a good demonstration of how close The Boys were when Taako and Merle agreed to take over the vengeance quest without further details. It’s important to Magnus, and now someone else needs to do it.[10]

Taako got off really light, as the only narrative sacrifice was his beauty, which Taako quickly rendered moot via magic.[11] Because we learned a lot about the other two, I wish Taako could’ve loss more.

However, the non-wheel of sacrifice parts were… well, they fell flat, and since there wasn’t space for any significant character interaction with someone outside of the party (even Cam got put into Magnus’s pocket), it was just gimmicky encounter after gimmicky encounter. It turned repetitive.[12] Prisoner Dilemma's don’t work if those on the other side aren’t emotionally significant.

Sure, looking back and examining it, a lot of interesting things happened. But sitting in the garden center, waiting for customers, it felt tedious. Not sad and emotionally devastating, just… eh.

Were I to replicate it, I’d probably combine the prisoner's dilemma and Wheel of Sacrifice, and make the players compete against one another. If you both spare the other, then you’re both given a choice between two sacrifices. If you’re forsaken by someone you spared, then you take both. And if you both forsake… I guess the GM just gets to decide which one you take?

If you want to up the ante in later rounds, offer to return something lost in later rounds if you forsake your partner. And if you want to twist the knife, have those spared choose the sacrifice for those they betrayed.[13]

Sorry, slipping into SepiaDice for a moment. Back to the review.

Reunion Tour was a good trip into the apocalypse, and final check in with a lot of the minor characters as everyone bugged out. Bad things are coming, and Madame Lucretia Director has a lot of secrets to be found.

Stolen century was... I don't know how I feel about it? There was a lot of backstory that needed to be conveyed suddenly, yes, but after the arc was concluded, I didn't feel like I'd learn much new about anything substantial. Nothing new about the world, since the places visited came and went so fast, that few left an impression.[14]

There were four characters for us and the players to get to know, but... Well, that didn't pan out too well. Of course, focus had to remain on the players, but ended up giving little room for Davenport, Barry, and Lucretia to develop. So, while it was an arc of vignettes, which is usually my jam, in this case, the vignettes were too small and delayed the plot so long, that I was just waiting for them to get on with it.

(Though, it probably didn't help that I was ill during the latter half of Stolen Century and the first two parts of the finale, making it kind of a blur.)

How to possibly improve it? Well, let's put the SepiaDice hat back on, I guess.[15]

First off, I wouldn't have changed systems, and not just because I hear about Powered by the Apocalypse so often I've become burnt out without ever playing it. Staying with 5e would've maintained a level of consistency with the rest of the series, and let the players use their experience to act the part of the well traveled people they are in the arc.[16]

Second, instead of a bunch of ten minute scenes for a handful of worlds, spend an episode on a world and do a one shot. Show them preparing to leave their homeworld, then the first world. Then do sessions covering the rest of the details that need to be conveyed.

Finally, integrate the other four crewmembers into these adventures. There's two viable methods: rotate through them as a sort of 'Guest NPC' (or Guest PC if they want to bring on temporary cast members). Or, let the players run two characters (Give Lup to Justin, Davenport to Clint, and probably Barry over to Travis) while Young Lucretia can be mission control until it's time to toughen her up.

So... that's Stolen Century, I guess? I'm having a hard time remembering specifics.

Story and Song was a good finale.

I don't get to play many endings. In fact, I’ve played only the one, and... it wasn't a good campaign to begin with, so it is what it was.

The Adventure Zone, meanwhile, did what every good narrative should do: give a cameo to everyone they practically can, tying up any fraying that may have occurred. That way, the audience gets a chance to see their favorite character at least one more time.

Then, for the players, they were split up, and given an epic scene that contributed to the final conclusion, and closed their character arcs (even if that closure involves an old running gag.)[17]

Afterwards, into the breech for a fancy final battle.

Finally, the epilogue. I don't want to spoil it, but I do wish to speak on the framework. Griffin handled the epilogue perfectly. First, he asked the players to describe where the characters are a year later, then pitched what he (Griffin) would like to have happened while making it clear the player got final say, before both were happy with where we leave Taako, Merle, and Magnus.

That's how you finish a game.

Suffice it to say, I may have started with a lot of reservations, but I learned a lot, and hope to apply it to my own games and projects.

If you enjoyed this... whatever I just wrote... maybe poke around my blog. I have other reviews and essays. Maybe I wrote something else you like. If you'd like to support me and my creative endeavors, I have a patreon! I like money.

Thanks for reading.

Kataal kataal.

[1] Heh, wordplay. [2] Though, to be fair, I kinda knew Sprite Comics were ignoble going into Nintendo Acres. Still, it had its charm. [3] This is foreshadowing to the fact that I ended up making a conscious effort to listen to the show while hanging out at home.[4] [4] I was also sick with a stomach bug at the time, though. [5] In my case, Trix was happy to loot a corpse the party found on the side of the road, but not the crypt they were dungeon delving. In my defense, the road corpse had his things by accident, while the items in the crypt were deliberately interred. It’s a respectability thing. [6] I’ll be back soon, don’t worry. [7] As someone who had a player try and call out a clock as anachronistic, I can understand how that could be irritating.[8] I solved it by just saying ‘this isn’t Earth, and there’s a wall clock.’ But different strokes, I suppose. [8] There was also an ongoing debate about whether sandwiches existed. I was in the ‘Sandwich like things likely existed before the Earl of Sandwich’ camp, but I never got around to dredging up the Good Eats segment. [9] Fair warning: if I figure out how to replicate Endless Eight on my actual play show, I’m doing it. Same session, on repeat. And you’ll have to sit through it. [10] This better come up during a live show! [11] It’s always annoying when a player does that. [12] You may ask, ‘Canvas, you hated the repetitive feeling, yet you want to emulate Endless Eight?’ Well, you see, I also deeply love meta jokes on the audience. And I’m just a little Chaotic-Aligned. [13] Obviously, you’ll need a mature game group to do this, and an emotionally satisfying conclusion. [14] One was the world of TAZ Nights, but since I find participating in the Max Fun Drive off-putting for unknowable reasons, I had no context to care. [15] Which is probably a giant paper mache D12 mask. [16] But mostly I'm just sick of Fate and ApocalypseWorld. [17] Especially if it delivers on that running gag's punchline.

#CanvasReviews #the adventure zone #taz #D&D #podcasts #SepiaDice

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drink-n-watch · 5 years

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Back Rank Mate : A checkmate that occurs when your king is trapped behind a wall (usually a wall of your own pawns) on the back rank, and a queen or rook attacks on the back rank.

You know, I think I’m just going to reiterate my thoughts from last week – OMGWTFBBQPURPLEMONKEYDISHWASHER. What the heck is this show doing to me? All I know is that if I was to exist in the Promised Neverland universe, I would be pretty safe since this show has melted my brain. Hyperbole you think… maybe a smidge.

Still, I am grateful that Crow is here to keep me from completely losing it and you’re grateful too. Trust me. He makes these posts! Also, let me apologize in advance for this but I took an unreasonable number of screencaps again. If this post has been loading for minutes…that’s why… sowwy…

But before we get started, how are you Crow?

Well, for starters, I’m bold this week! And for another, there’s no way I’m getting through this review without dropping some spoilers, so everyone beware!

Come to think of it, “everyone beware” is pretty good advice for anyone watching this show! Purple monkey indeed!

everything’s fine!

I’m just trying a little small talk to ease us in because this week got heavy! Unlike the usual light hearted slice of life comedy The Promised Neverland usually is….

This level of removal from reality is a different perspective for you! Looks like the show’s getting to you — and I certainly understand why!

If you’ve read our reviews before you know this, but it’s spoileriffic. If you don’t want to know what happens, please come back after you’ve watched episode 9.

oh no! not spoilers!!!

Last week ended on a double whammy courtesy of Moma as she broke the leg of one of her beloved daughters without hesitation, while gently announcing the execution of a beloved son. And this week brought us straight back to that devastating scene adding a few new details to the mix. I must say the impact was not lessened by repetition!

Just in case the show didn’t twist the knife quite enough last week!

If last week it dawned on me just how outmatched the kids were, this week the kids are starting to really realize it as well, and it’s heartbreaking. Don and Gilda were being held together by the other three but now that they’re seeing them unravel, they are left rudderless and very very scared. The juxtaposition of the bright sunny day and soft green grass, and the dire straits the kids are in made everything just a little sadder, don’t you think?

The imagery was great — it was almost taunting our heroes with a false normalcy.

the ephemeral nature of life is both tragic and beautiful

The scene went from Don, Gilda and Ray barely holding it together to a cool and composed Norman sweetly comforting Emma. I thought “this child is terrifying”. The composure…the strength. The sheer loyalty to Emma that he would consider his own life immaterial as long as she’s fine. Honestly Norman is one impressive young man.

Did you see what Emma did the instant she woke up? She reached for him. That gesture was heartbreaking in its simplicity; in the trust it implied.

I saw – I screencapped

And then, his mask slipped. When finally alone, it became apparent that Norman was far from fine. He was horrified and lost. He did not want to lose his life. All of this was shown in a quiet patient scene. The emphasis and emotion expressed through long shots of nothing much. The lack of motion letting the emotion shine through rather than any overt display. I quite like that! So it turned out that Norman was just pretending for the sake of his friends. And I thought, Norman is a supremely impressive young man!

You could see the moment his will snapped. He had been pushed past what he knew he could handle, and he was faced with the question: What next?

While Norman was trying to calm himself, we jumped back to Ray who was by far the most agitated we’ve ever seen him. Ray seemed to accept his own potential demise with bitter but stoic resignation. However, the thought of Norman getting shipped out has gotten hm enraged and panicked. For a second, I thought it was a mix of feelings for his friend and of the discomfort of having his plans ruined. I thought Ray was intimidatingly impressive.

The sight of Ray, who for so long had plotted and planned and executed, coming to grips with the idea that not only were his plans ruined, but his understanding of their world was flawed to the point where he had no idea what to do. And still, after venting a bit, he started to rein himself in. These are pretty impressive kids! I’m pretty sure I wasn’t that composed (or intelligent or — thank heavens — tasty to demons!) at their age.

Ray was my rock…this shattered me

Having come back to his senses a bit, Norman decided to rejoin Emma. Did you notice the CG Crow? Of course you did, it was pretty obvious. And I think that was on purpose. Thinking back, I’m pretty sure the CG has been used as a narrative tool in this series.

The CG was only used in the scenes of Norman walking the hallway alone, even though we saw extremely similar scenes of Ray, Don or Guilda. And even though the CG was obvious, it wasn’t excessive. I think the slight uncanny dissonance, plus the impact on the character’s movement was used to make those simple scenes of Norman just walking that much more weighty and uneasy. I may be reading too much into this…

It reminded me a little bit of some of the photographic effects Alfred Hitchcock would use him his films. This show is very much in that tradition!

ok, still images don’t give you the right idea

We then got another classic scene of three small kids talking in a bedroom. This is 98% of the show and it’s still giving me anxiety.

I’m sure the conversation was littered with clues and foreshadowing but quite unlike myself, I couldn’t pay attention to that. I was actually too emotionally invested. Weird huh?

I appreciated this quiet scene, because it helped me process everything we’ve learned in the last 30 or 40 minutes of storytelling!

Emma and Ray have decided that Norman getting shipped out was simply not an option and came up with a simple but promising plan. Norman should disable his tracking device and hide just beyond the wall until they can join him once Emma is healed up. At this point Ray explained some simple gut-wrenching facts. The children are afforded a comfortable happy life because they’ll taste better that way. That’s all.

As Ray was talking and Norman seemed dubious I started to wonder why did Ray seem so desperate for Norman to live? He was the one saying that saving everyone was impractical. Their plan is riddled with potential pitfalls and unknowns. Ray of all people should accept Norman’s willingness to sacrifice himself for the greater good. And when Ray cried out, “If you die then what were the last 6 years of my life for?”, I realized something.

Ray has a bad poker face

Ray isn’t the cool and composed mastermind he makes himself out to be. This boy who since the age of five has patiently collected trinkets to create a disarming device all on his own without anyone noticing. This boy was a bleeding heart hero type. He may not be able to save everyone, but he needs to save his friends at least. How cute and innocent. How naive to think you can just throw them out there. This is why he had to accept Norman’s argument that should he escape neither Emma or Ray would be taken in his stead and sacrificing another for your own life is unbearable. Because he’s just a kid who loves his friends, that’s all. Ray is truly and undeniably impressive.

Have you noticed how easy it is to be stoic on behalf of someone? I’m borderline competent on my own. On behalf of my family or friends? I can be quite a different person, or I can at least seem that way. I see that in Ray, and in how Ray reacted when Norman was trying to give himself up. The walls just come tumbling down!

I have but then again, I’ve never been in a situation where I really thought I could die. Maybe survival instinct would kick in..

Just when all that panic, fear and loathing cam crashing together, that’s when Emma decided to be Emma and do what she does best. Just smother everything in powerful optimism backed up by short sighted but surprisingly rational propositions. Break Ray’s arm. If they’re both hurt, then they won’t be replacements – Norman can escape with his mind at ease. This emotional release allowed the kids to get back to themselves a bit. A nice little reprieve.

and just Norman

I couldn’t help but wonder – won’t Gilda or Don be chosen then??? It seems that wasn’t too much of a concern to the others.

They needed a little short-sightedness to keep themselves together, I think. I also wonder if either Don or Gilda would be considered a real replacement? If Emma, Norman, and Ray are prime grade, Don and Gilda would likely be choice. Still a fine grade, but not interchangeable. Maybe. I’m feeling strange talking about our heroes as grades of beef…

Say Crow, any thoughts about the fact that Ray knew right from the start? I think that may be better, since you don’t lose anything? Then again, maybe not.

The show’s doing such a good job at presenting Ray as a complex character that honestly, I’m not sure! It certainly could be!

there was tons of Norman in this episode, really!!!

The next day, Norman’s escape plan is ready to go. They have a new rope, a last hide and seek game, everyone knows their part. Momma informs the entire house that Norman is going to be “adopted”. First – darn you Phil! Second – some of those kids were crying a little more than justified, don’t you think. Maybe Emma and co. aren’t the only ones to know the houses secret?

I had that impression, too — especially that one little girl Norman had to hug!

um..it’s going to be…”o.k.”?

That was an exciting scene. Much like the rest of the episode, it used quick cuts beween the main characters as we saw Norman making his way to the wall and finally climbing it, while Emma and Ray are simply waiting back at the house. It got my blood pumping! And those colours were stunning.

Did you see the looks the kids were giving Isabella? Chilling!

As evening set in and the kids were getting ready to go in for dinner, I was actually holding my breath a little. And then, Norman just slowly walked back. After which, we finally find out what’s behind that wall. Talk about a cliffhanger!!!!

I see what you did there!

oh my

When we first see Norman climb to the top and look out, were you afraid we weren’t going to find out what he saw? I was all like, “Oh, no, Promised Neverland! Don’t you dare make me guess!”

And then we found out.

It might have been better had they made me guess!

And did you notice how self-satisfied Momma looked? Of course she knew what was beyond the walls. Of course she could guess what Norman’s reaction would be! Just another sign of her supreme control over the situation.

Krone who?

By the way, we saw Norman discover Krone’s pen and box in a drawer, but once again they didn’t show us what was in it. ARGH!!!

So this is Norman’s last day. Their plans are in ruins; their emergency plans are in ruins; and Phil is still smiling way too much. I have no idea how they’re going to get out of this, and honestly, I don’t want to guess! The show is doing a delightful job of entertaining me, and I don’t want to get in its way.

Irina, what’d you think of the music in this episode?

I’ll be honest I didn’t notice it. My mind got kidnapped by the plot. But tell me about it!

shhhs Phil

Starting just after Norman’s will crumbled , a simple piano melody starts playing. The camera switches to Ray, but the melancholy song continues and underlines their desperation — that begins to harden into resolve.

It’s a simple tune that lets the acting speak for itself. It ends when Norman enters and sees Ray and Emma’s serious expressions.

Later, as Norman’s running for the wall, there’s a more upbeat, drum-driven song with a woman’s beautiful voice harmonizing — no words. Emma and Ray try to stay calm, but the almost pop beat is more to support Norman’s spring to the wall than their attempt at patience. The woman’s voice disappears until Normal reaches the wall and makes it to the top. The crescendo? When he stands, shocked into silence, at what he sees on the other side of the wall. The music disappears, too.

The inarticulate voice lent an air of desperation that I recognized only in retrospect — when se see Norman’s shattered expression at the end.

whoa! I need to rewatch this episode…if I can

This show, man…..

The Promised Neverland Episode 1

The Promised Neverland Episode 2

The Promised Neverland Episode 3

The Promised Neverland Episode 4

The Promised Neverland Episode 5

The Promised Neverland Episode 6

The Promised Neverland Episode 7

The Promised Neverland Episode 8

You know, when I get really engrossed in a show, I can’t stop taking screencaps…

The Promised Neverland Episode 9 – Back Rank Mate Back Rank Mate : A checkmate that occurs when your king is trapped behind a wall (usually a wall of your own pawns) on the back rank, and a queen or rook attacks on the back rank. 2,408 more words

#action #anime #Collab #drama #dystopian #episodic #Promised Neverland #suspense

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geekysweetie · 6 years

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This Is US - Season 1 and 2 Review

It’s not often that I choose to write about (or really even choose to watch) American television. That’s because in my opinion, the writing in American drama is often inferior and the characters not as emotionally engaging as Asian dramas. Season 2 had already started when I finally got around to watching Season 1 of This Is Us, the show that would change my opinion of American Dramas. – Don’t get me wrong. I love me some drama regardless of what country it originates from.. but I distinctively recall for example, when “Fault of Our Stars” came out, how much praise it was being given, as being the saddest movie of all time, ever, by radio and TV critics and movie-goers across our nation. I watched the film and was left feeling, mostly, nothing at all. That’s IT?! I thought to myself as I contemplated the movie for the next few hours. Sure it was “sad” – but these people (who praised the film so heavily) have clearly no idea what a “sad” movie even is. Go watch a Kdrama, and then come back and tell me “Fault of Our Stars” is still the saddest thing you’ve ever watched. When it came to American dramas, they seemed to fall into one of 2 categories, smut filled soap operas that never end (versus the concise, beginning, middle, end, 24 episode formula of most Kdrama), or into a predictable, but enjoyable, feel good romantic comedy chick flick (where a happy ending was almost guaranteed). It’s rare to find a “serious” American drama that can evoke the same empathy and sympathy and devastation and heart ache that most Kdramas can cause the audience to feel. “Fault of Our Stars” (as well as “The Notebook” and other similar films) attempt to create a sad love story, but still I’m often left feeling less emotion than I expected (although admittedly, “The Notebook” did have both myself and my best friend running to the restroom to grab tissues as we started sobbing at the ending).

Anyways, this post is not about Kdrama, nor is it about “Fault of Our Stars” or everything that American TV / Cinema does “wrong” when it comes to writing an emotionally moving film…

This post is about “This is Us”, the drama that would change my opinion of everything that American TV / Cinema does “wrong”. I remember for months seeing previews, and being like oh yeah, I want to watch that, but pushing it off on the back burner as my back log of things to watch, games to play, and things to do IRL grew longer and longer. Over the next several months, “This is Us” was often discussed in the office where I work. This increased my curiosity and desire to sit down and binge watch it.

And from the first episode, I was not disappointed. It grabs you in. It had twists and turns and unconventionality. It took place in Pittsburgh (being an hour north of there (and soon to move within minutes of the city, this made it even more relateable to me). It was not the typical white-wash American sitcom family. Here was a family of mixed races, tackling some serious dark and depressing issues. Alcoholism, Drug Addiction, Infertility, Adoption, Weight Loss, and a very dysfunctional family. A family with real problems, problems with their marriage, problems with their careers, problems with their kids, problems with their family members.

It was raw, it was personal, it was unlike anything I had ever seen on American TV.

I binged through the first two seasons over Christmas break.

And the series returns tonight 01/09/18 with new episodes.

I won’t reveal much in this review about the story thus far in the first 2 seasons. I think that part of the success of this drama is how it throws some amazing curve balls at you and completely blindsides the heck out of you, which heightens the emotional impact so much more. In fact, the first episode might be quite confusing at first. The entire series is told through jumping here and there from past and present, including different periods in the past, and different families and perspectives and characters and it gets complicated fast. Everything is connected. It’s one of those shows you can only really appreciate and enjoy by watching from the very first episode, and never skipping a single show. The more you watch, the more everything begins to make sense, and the more invested you become in continuing to watch what happens next.

Anyways I’m obviously a fan of this series. It is with love and respect for the amazing writing (and music score, and acting, and pretty much everything) that I write this review.

Title: This is Us

Network: NBC

Length: 43 Minutes per Episode, Currently 2 Seasons with new episodes airing tonight 01/09/18.

Genre: Drama

Where to Watch: This is Us Seasons 1 and 2 are available on Hulu

Geeky: 3/5 This drama is likely to appeal more to girls than guys, due to the fact that it is not an “easy” show to watch. It’s not the type of show you come home to, put on, and mindlessly just enjoy. It requires critical thinking and piecing together the puzzle pieces from episode to episode as complexity grows each week. There are conflicts, but they are matters of the heart, struggles of human kind, and society as a whole. You will not find action and excitement here; however, Pittsburgh locals, and Steelers fans, or anyone dealing with dysfunctional family problems will relate easily to this series.

Sweetie: 5/5

Overall: 72/80 90% A- “Excellent Drama for Girls”

Concept: 10/10 The concept of the story, the way everything is interconnected and woven together, the excellent writing, acting, music, and execution, the loveable but flawed characters, and how relatable it all is makes the concept and overview of this series easily a 10 out of 10.

Story: 8/10 – The story can be confusing if you jump in mid-season, and it can even be confusing for long time fans. There are many questions left unanswered, and to find those answers, the story skips and hops all over in piece meal fashion. One moment, the big 3 have not even been born, you’re watching their parents in their early 20s, the next moment, the big 3 are about 10 years old, then the next moment they are days old, then the next moment, the big 3 are in their 30s. This would be the only complaint I could give as to the story.

Now for what the story does right, it tells us a story about a middle class northeastern family from Pittsburgh PA. They love the Steelers, they love going out to the bars in downtown Pittsburgh, taking their kids camping in the woods, fishing, hiking, celebrating the holidays Christmas, Halloween, Birthdays, and all, and the realities that come with life in Pittsburgh, PA such as shoveling their cars out from 6 feet of snow, the attitudes regarding racism and the roles of gender etc in the workplace back in the 70s and 80s in Pittsburgh’s prime.

But this isn’t just any other American family. This family is different. A white family raising a black kid, a black kid searching for his birth parents, a community that judges the family from all angles. A family that lost a child, but gained a child. And a family raising 2 remaining white babies along side the black baby. The saying “Love Makes a Family” has never been more true than it is in this drama.

But even parents with the best intentions and pure love for each other and for their children still make mistakes. Some of those mistakes we can never recover from. Some of those mistakes will cost some members of this family their lives. And other mistakes will cause members of this family to spend the rest of their lives searching for answers.

With each surprising plot twist and turn, we learn more about this unconventional American family. What mistakes did they make, what secrets do they hide, what went wrong? And above all, the love the family has for each other, the love that exists despite all of these devastating mistakes, the love that exists even beyond death. Love, self love, self identity, sacrifice, marriage, careers, raising a family, the struggle is real. We feel their struggle, that’s why we keep watching. We want to see how they overcome the pitfalls of life that so many of us face also in our own lives.

Characters: 9/10��Dysfunctional is the word I would use to describe this family, or in fact every single character within this drama. That’s part of what makes this series work so well. It plays on our sympathies, it makes the characters raw, real and relateable. Addiction is also a central theme. Whether it’s Jack and Kev’s alcoholism, Randall’s Obsessive Compulsion and Anxiety, or Kate’s weight problems. These characters are flawed. Sometimes those flaws can be presented a bit heavy handedly and repetitively, which is the only flaw I could give to the unique cast of characters.

It’s also interesting how the characters cannot “escape the sins of their fathers”. Just as Jack resented his father, he turns out to be the same in many ways, and Kevin realizes he too is exactly like them. And even though Beca hates her mother, thinks she expects too much and is controlling, Beca turns out to have the same expectations and behaviors towards her own daughter.

In this way we are shown, no one is perfect. Parenting is not easy. It’s easy to judge what our parents do wrong. It’s easy to blame them for messing up our own lives. But in the end, we control how our future looks.

The big 3 are at different stages in their lives. Randall is married with 2 beautiful children and a loving wife. A successful career and big house. Kate is slowly climbing out of her past problems, she finds a new man, which brings new challenges, but she also finds confidence in herself and realizes her dream to pursue her career and goals despite her age and appearance. Kevin is perhaps the most flawed of the big 3. He is unable to handle relationships, unable to feel anything, he has burred his emotions for so long concerning tragic events in his past. He has messed up his career, and now has to start over from nothing. He will try desperately to cling to the past, and still not acknowledge his problems. Those problems will grow when addiction enters the picture, and just when things seem to be going well for Kevin they will all fall apart again. Similarly, Kate in season 2 is going to have a huge upswing of luck, prosperity, and achievement, only to lose it all again.

Life is full of ups and downs. It’s this roller coaster ride that keeps us watching each episode. We begin to care more and more about the Pearsons because of how raw and real and flawed the characters are.

There’s much more to it than I have revealed here. Like I said, the best part is to watch and be shocked by each new rise and fall.

Casting: 9/10 – I think the show is well cast. My only small critique, and coming at it from the angle of my blog being for young teen/young adult women, is I would have liked Kate’s love interest to have been more handsome. I feel like in American film/TV it is really common to see a fat male character with a beautiful wife, but it’s far less common to see a fat female character with a fit husband. It’s almost taboo in American society to see this combination. And as a fat girl myself in real life, dating currently a fit guy, it’s a match I would like to see depicted more on American TV. Stop perpetuating the misconceived notion that a girl is only as good as her weight. Stop perpetuating that a fat girl can only ever be worthy of being with a fat guy. This isn’t true. Slender guys, Muscular guys, all different types of guys, like fat girls too.

Yes, being fat is unhealthy, and seeing Kate’s struggles with her weight, infertility, and struggles with her pregnancy, all hit very close to home for me as well, since I also have fertility issues due to PCOS.

Anyways, you can hate on me, and call me out and say by my criticizing Kate’s love interest simply because he’s bald and fat, that I’m a hypocrite, because I’m saying then a Man is only as good as his weight – and that’s not really true. that’s not my point or what I’m trying to say, but I think many readers may view these comments as such attacks. I think the character that Kate’s husband plays is smart, funny, and genuinely sweet and a great person. Kate is lucky to have him. Kate would STILL be lucky to have him even if Kate was a size zero and he remained overweight. The scene in the coffee shop where he gets to announce their pregnancy is maybe my favorite scene in the entire series. His love and devotion for Kate is demonstrated time and time again. They are possibly “America’s Sweethearts”.

People like him are hard to find in ANY shape size color or whatever. And the actor playing him does fantastic so this isn’t about his ability as an actor either.

But in a show that CONSTANTLY pushes the envelope on touchy sensitive issues such as alcoholism, domestic abuse, drug addiction, homosexuality, racism, discrimination, etc, It seems like a missed opportunity to push another issue, by giving Kate a partner that would be unconventionally acceptable by society’s standards for a “fat girl”.

As a fat girl myself, and now recently dating a fit and active guy, I am well aware of society’s view of what is “acceptable” for a “fat girl” when it comes to dating. 9 times out of 10 when we go out, the waitress assumes it’s separate checks, even if we go there often, even if I’m cuddling, rubbing his back, flirting, or etc, obviously we are together and out on a date. I’m well aware too of the looks and stares we get when we go out. And probably of the whispers and other comments made behind our backs. And this is in part shaped by what we see on TV. Society doesn’t hold those same misconceptions for an overweight man with an attractive female.

We laugh it off, because who are they to judge us, our happiness, our relationship, our compatibility. But still, Hollywood could be doing more to break down these stereotypes and barriers. They could pair a fat girl with a hot husband. They could cast a fat girl in a main role, and NOT make it about her eating addiction and weight loss, they could, but they don’t, and This is Us is no exception to this.

What we see in the media, also shapes our realities. Hollywood should have a responsibility to do more to stop sexism, racism, and stop hate against people on their weight, religion, sexual orientation, or any other “less desirable” (as perceived by society “norms”) traits.

Randall and Kevin would both be considered hot or attractive, and what do they get, hot wives/girlfriends (although Kevin’s relationships are a hot hot mess).

And yes, Kate does have a wonderful happy loving awesome relationship. That’s wonderful, but why pair the only fat chick in the sitcom, with an equally fat guy? Also why make Kate’s who character so obsessed with her weight. Calling attention to how it’s such a huge negative thing. Meanwhile in countless other sitcoms we see fat or ugly men with smoking hot wives. Let’s reverse that stereotype just one time. I want to see a serious tv series like this, with a very overweight actress such as Kate, with a happy, healthy relationship, with a man that society would deem to be “above her station” and a character who is confident, happy, and content with her body size/shape and just owns it. Yes, we all know that being fat is not healthy, it affects your life in numerous negative ways, from fertility issues such as what Kate has, to heart disease, diabetes, and just lack of energy/stamina. We don’t need a TV show to remind us of this (because society reminds us of this every day). Instead what we NEED is a TV show to show us some kindness, some hope, some ray of light, in a world with very few “role models for fat girls”.

I am here to tell you, that even though TV will never show you that “ray of light” it exists. It’s real. There are REAL men, fit, athletic, muscular, handsome, sexy men, who love big girls. Who love and RESPECT big girls, who love you for you, for the person you are inside. Your heart, your mind, your unique wonderful qualities that make you you. As well as loving you for your curvy body. Loving, loyal, devoted to you.

Do you know what my boyfriend told me on our very first date? He told me all of the reasons why he liked me / was interested in getting to meet me / know me better. Because I’m different from other girls, because I’m real and genuine, and loving, and kind hearted. Because I’m myself, I’m not fake, I’m not shallow, I never judge others. I accept and love and support him. But also he genuinely likes and is attracted to big girls. I’ve seen photos of his exes, and they were even bigger than me. So it’s not just him saying that to please me. As unbelievable as it may be, there are fit guys who love big girls. And not only because they are big. But for all of the reasons that make them a wonderful person. Relationships shouldn’t be superficial. (so once again you might be calling me out here with my critique of Kate’s boyfriend in This is Us because he DOES treat Kate like the queen she is no matter how big he or she are.) But so could any man, regardless of his weight. Why only show fat actresses with fat men? When will hollywood realize that a woman’s value is more than her dress size. I have a wonderful relationship with a fit muscular guy and I’m a 200 lb girl. We share some things in common, but we also show each other new and interesting things, and take interest in each other’s interests. We have never spent a weekend apart ever since we first met, almost 6 months ago now.

I still think every time I go out with my boyfriend that I have the best looking guy in the room, or even in the world. And I find it unbelievable. Why? Why am I always so surprised and thankful and feel so shocked? Because of society’s norms, society’s expectations, society’s judgements. And what forms and shapes those judgements is the media. Magazines, movies, TV shows. We grow up looking to those. It’s a subconscious thing. You can deny it all you want and say you’re not superficial, but the truth is, you don’t even realize how it is shaping your judgement and notions.

Fat women often cast as sidekicks, comic relief, never taken seriously, never in a lead role, never in a “fairytale” type romance with a “prince charming”. If anything at all, paired with a man who society would equally judge and find fault with (at least their outer appearance).

I guess my bottom line is this… They could have written the character of Kate’s husband the EXACT same way, kept ALL of the scenes exactly the same, showing his silly side, his love for Kate, his willingness to let go of any pride or the lengths he would go to to publicly display his love for Kate, Kept all of that, and just cast someone better looking in the role – he still would have had the same qualities that make us love their relationship so much. While no longer perpetuating the stereotype of a fat girl not being able to have a happy relationship like this with an average or even handsome guy. Cast her with someone like Kev or Randall and then we’d REALLY have a show that pushes the envelope.

Acting: 10/10 – The show is emotionally engaging because not only of the excellent writing but the equally believable and convincing acting.

Music: 10/10 – I love the ending theme as well as many of the other tracks used throughout this drama. Many fans have asked repeatedly for Jack’s theme to be released on itunes store. As of yet it does not appear to be available for purchase. Take a listen below to Jack’s Theme.

youtube

Visuals: 8/10 – The nostalgia of the 70s 80s, and 90s are depicted through the different time skips back through the story. Although the show is a drama with no special effects or big budget visuals, the show does an excellent job of depicting life in western Pennsylvania. I would know since it is also my home.

Overall: 72/80 90% A- “Excellent Drama for Girls”

This Is US – Season 1 and 2 Review was originally published on GeekySweetie.com - Geeky & Kawaii Anime, Tech, Toys, & Game Reviews & News

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litsporation · 7 years

Text

A Little Life - Hanya Yanagihara

Rating:

Please excuse my graphics. I forgot to make them at work with Photoshop, so I had to quickly throw these together with Pixlr.

There is so much to discuss about this book, but I don’t want to spoil anything for anyone else who wants to read it. So, I’ll break this post down into two parts. One that is kind of vague but gives a general idea of how I feel about the book. The other part I’ll clearly label, and then if you continue to read from there, it may contain spoilers. I also don’t generally give summaries of books, because you can just google that.

This book deserves nothing less that five stars, even though it has been the hardest book I have ever read. Not because it is boring or convoluted, not because it is filled with difficult concepts, but because it was emotionally devastating. It managed to break my heart many times over, but always repair it just enough to make it feel hopeful that everything would work out ok.

I first picked this book up in June 2015, read the first 200 pages, and then got distracted by other books. I had things to read for book club, things to read that I wanted to teach in school, and just things I wanted to read in general for myself. Eventually it got to the point where I didn’t feel like I remembered the book clearly enough to just go back to page 200. At the tail end of last year, right around Christmas, I decided I would pick it back up again and start from the beginning. I remembered things far more vividly that I thought I would be able to - Hanya Yanagihara paints things in such strong colors, that I think this book will be hard to forget. I did pace myself, and I took occasional breaks while reading to read something else. This book hits hard.

I’m not a huge crier. I don’t generally cry over movies, never over books. There are three times I have cried over these things:

1. An episode of the Wonder Years in which Kevin’s teacher dies. I think it was his math teacher.

2. An episode of Dr. Who, the one with Donna’s father, where the Dr. saves him at his own risk. I have a soft spot for lovable fathers and for David Tenant. It was a recipe for a solid bawl.

3. The first ten minutes of Up, like every other human.

“A Little Life” is the first book that has made me cry, and not just a couple pretty tears drifting down my cheek like Cyndi Lauper in her “Time After Time” music video. This was a solid ugly cry while curled up on my couch. I have never had a book make me feel so many things, and feel them so completely.

All right, so now here are when things are going to get spoilery. Read at your own risk.

I spent a lot of time thinking about this book. It was on my mind constantly. Here are some of the things I thought about more frequently than others:

1. Alan Turing. This came about because around the same time I read the part where Willem was going to play Alan, I watched “The Imitation Game” on Netflix without realizing the obvious connection. Mentally, I started to compare Alan and Jude, both having childhoods that were fractured by the cruelty of others, both ill-equipped to properly deal with friendships, and both who eventually died due to their internal struggles. Alan’s was more forced on him by society, and Jude’s was internal, but there was still a tangible connection that I could draw between the two.

2. Malcolm. Malcolm had a stronger presence in the beginning of the novel, and then he fades out of the picture more than any of the other three. The novel is Jude centered, and so I understand that the focus is on him. Willem is a large part of Jude’s life, so I also understand the focus on Willem as well. We even get a section about JB in the novel, but Malcolm we get more in snippets. I like how Malcolm is the architect, and he constantly builds physical foundations for where Jude and Willem set up their lives. Or, if he doesn’t build them, he at least has some hand in designing them. I spent a lot of time trying to figure Malcolm out, his role, what would come of him as the novel progressed, and I was shocked when he too was killed in the car crash. Of course, his death didn’t resonate as strongly as Willem’s, and I felt bad about that. I still don’t really know what to make of Malcolm. I’m trying to figure him out. 3. JB. JB made far more sense to me, if only as a contrast to Jude. I think JB would have loved to have had a more tormented past, I doubt as truly dreadful as Jude’s was, but I think he wanted something. He enjoyed the drama, and he enjoyed playing up his life as if it were worse than it actually was. I think when the novel turned to the section about JB, it showed how he was seeking to damage himself through drugs, where Jude had his own mental damage that displayed in his bouts of cutting. Both of them were self-harming, but JB’s motives were different. I also found it ironic that the only one of the four who didn’t die a tragic death was JB. He probably would have romanticized the idea of it, of how his works would live on after he was gone. The art shows that would have his work as a tribute, the unfinished pieces that people would speculate over. And yet, he was the one left living. I’m also curious as to how he’ll document the end of his friend’s lives, since he documented so much of it while they were living.

4. Of course I spent time thinking about Jude and Willem, but a lot of it was spent rooting for the two of them to find happiness with each other, which they did. After Willem had died, I spent the rest of the book waiting for Jude to follow. I felt that his living on after was brutally painful, and in a way, I felt it was selfish for Harold to keep asking him to hang on. I actually found myself pondering my own morals in regards to this situation. I never want anyone to kill themselves. I always feel that there is happiness out there, and yet in this situation, I wasn’t sure Jude would have the ability to find it without Willem. It’s still not something I am 100% comfortable picking one side or the other on.

This book is so damn good - for all the ways it made me feel, for breaking my heart so completely, and for all the questions it made me have. I would strongly recommend it, but not without a warning for you to brace yourself.

#alittlelifebook #judewillem #malcolmjb #bookreview

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