the thing is that they're so fascinated by sex, they love sex, they can't imagine a world without sex - they need sex to sell things, they need sex to be part of their personality, they need sex to prove their power - but they hate sex. they are disgusted by it.
sex is the only thing that holds their attention, and it is also the thing that can never be discussed directly.
you can't tell a child the normal names for parts of their body, that's sexual in nature, because the body isn't a body, it's a vessel of sex. it doesn't matter that it's been proven in studies (over and over) that kids need to know the names of their genitals; that they internalize sexual shame at a very young age and know it's 'dirty' to have a body; that it overwhelmingly protects children for them to have the correct words to communicate with. what matters is that they're sexual organs. what matters is that it freaks them out to think about kids having body parts - which only exist in the context of sex.
it's gross to talk about a period or how to check for cancer in a testicle or breast. that is nasty, illicit. there will be no pain meds for harsh medical procedures, just because they feature a cervix.
but they will put out an ad of you scantily-clad. you will sell their cars for them, because you have abs, a body. you will drip sex. you will ooze it, like a goo. like you were put on this planet to secrete wealth into their open palms.
they will hit you with that same palm. it will be disgusting that you like leather or leashes, but they will put their movie characters in leather and latex. it will be wrong of you to want sexual freedom, but they will mark their success in the number of people they bed.
they will crow that it's inappropriate for children so there will be no lessons on how to properly apply a condom, even to teens. it's teaching them the wrong things. no lessons on the diversity of sexual organ growth, none on how to obtain consent properly, none on how to recognize when you feel unsafe in your body. if you are a teenager, you have probably already been sexualized at some point in your life. you will have seen someone also-your-age who is splashed across a tv screen or a magazine or married to someone three times your age. you will watch people pull their hair into pigtails so they look like you. so that they can be sexy because of youth. one of the most common pornography searches involves newly-18 young women. girls. the words "barely legal," a hiss of glass sand over your skin.
barely legal. there are bills in place that will not allow people to feel safe in their own bodies. there are people working so hard to punish any person for having sex in a way that isn't god-fearing and submissive. heteronormative. the sex has to be at their feet, on your knees, your eyes wet. when was the first time you saw another person crying in pornography and thought - okay but for real. she looks super unhappy. later, when you are unhappy, you will close your eyes and ignore the feeling and act the role you have been taught to keep playing. they will punish the sex workers, remove the places they can practice their trade safely. they will then make casual jokes about how they sexually harass their nanny.
and they love sex but they hate that you're having sex. you need to have their ornamental, perfunctory, dispassionate sex. so you can't kiss your girlfriend in the bible belt because it is gross to have sex with someone of the same gender. so you can't get your tubes tied in new england because you might change your mind. so you can't admit you were sexually assaulted because real men don't get hurt, you should be grateful. you cannot handle your own body, you cannot handle the risks involved, let other people decide that for you. you aren't ready yet.
but they need you to have sex because you need to have kids. at 15, you are old enough to parent. you are not old enough to hear the word fuck too many times on television.
they are horrified by sex and they never stop talking about it, thinking about it, making everything unnecessarily preverted. the saying - a thief thinks everyone steals. they stand up at their podiums and they look out at the crowd and they sign a bill into place that makes sexwork even more unsafe and they stand up and smile and sign a bill that makes gender-affirming care illegal and they get up and they shrug their shoulders and write don't say gay and they get up, and they make the world about sex, but this horrible, plastic vision of it that they have. this wretched, emotionless thing that holds so much weight it's staggering. they put their whole spine behind it and they push and they say it's normal!
this horrible world they live in. disgusted and also obsessed.
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Thinking about Weird Barbie and how she's the very obviously queer outsider of the Barbie world, she straddles the lines between Barbie and the Real World. She's the most aware of the performative nature of it all. She supports Barbie while also gently mocking her panic at losing the hyperfeminine perfection. Her weird house is also home to the discontinued reject weird Barbies, the outcasts (including very gay earring Ken) who never fell into either the original matriarchy or the Kentriarchy brainwashing.
The other more classically heteronormative and beautiful Barbies both pity and fear her, and at first the narrative pities her as well. She's the vessel of girls going weird and crazy and feral on their dolls and that's amazing. Weird Barbie is aware of who she is and how the world sees her and she loves it. She's Weird Barbie and She Owns It.
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You're always going to be a woman freak
actually i'm always going to be a freak regardless of my gender
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remember when miraculous ladybug finally decided to do an "adrien hangs out with The Guys" episode, like how we get scenes of marinette hanging out with The Girls all the time, but i guess the writers decided that the only way adrien would fit in an environment with a bunch of guys was if they were in a gay night club, and the night club was adrien's bedroom, and they were throwing around rainbow glitter and kissing each other and blasting The Village People so loud that it almost killed his already dead mother and
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happy pride to people still in the closet. happy pride to people who used to identify one way and are now identifying another. happy pride to every person who feels alienated and estranged from the community. happy pride to people who still feel shame and guilt about their sexuality. happy pride to every person that has felt like they don't fit the image - not thin, not white, not "classically pretty".
happy pride to every person who feels like they're not "gay enough." happy pride to people who "look" straight, or appear to be in heteronormative relationships. happy pride to every person that is "too" gay, the "flamboyant" ones that are even mocked within the community. happy pride to butch lesbians and twee bisexuals and people that don't medically transition and to every gender-neutral-nature-based name - happy pride to those of us who are usually the butt of the joke.
happy pride if you're still confused. if you used to identify as bisexual but now are going by lesbian, bitch me too. if you aren't sure if you're genderfluid or just having some Gender Feelings, that's cool too. if you feel like you know you're not straight, but you don't know what you are - you're safe.
happy pride to every person that has felt like they don't belong in this community. i promise you do belong. there is a place for you, and people that will love you. it's your celebration too.
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Sorry, I typically keep my comics strictly about my own ace experience, but I've heard the dumb "exposing kids to trans people and non-gender-conforming stuff will make ALL our kids trans and it's bad for some reason" reasoning one time too many lately, so I felt like trying to be an ally
...Obviously if you were a drama kid for whom roleplaying WAS a good guide in your trans experience, even more power to you! I'm just saying I'm getting sick of bigots trying to oversimplify the reality of being trans in order to demonize it even more
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Idk what tag to use to describe the phenomenon of "Tiktok/Instagram Reels being full of toxic femininity/Gender Roles 2 but I just want to make a thread of examples of batshit takes I have seen from Instagram Reels (I don't have examples for all of them):
"I hate playing with my kids because I think they're 'emotionally abusive'/'gaslighting' when they change the rules every 30 seconds and rough house with me. Also, only fathers can enjoy playing with kids because they don't parent like mothers do (being a mom is soooooo harddddd). I refuse to teach my kids how to play nice and go shocked Pikachu when they don't."
"If you're over 25 you will never find a partner ever and should just get an arranged marriage" (said by someone IN THEIR LATE 20S)
"Sleep studies are all based on mens' needs women actually need 10 hours of sleep because uterus"
Just a whole lot of "Girls are mature well-behaved angels until they hit their double digits, then they become satanic demons from hell. Meanwhile boys are satanic demons from hell BEFORE puberty instead."
"Children produce more oxytocin around their dads because dads are the fun parents and they will never appreciate the hard work their mothers do"
"Bullying is good actually because something something evolutionary psychology. I am very smart, I was a gifted kid in high school"
"Men are useless overgrown children who can't keep house or be trusted around babies. But if a man can keep house and/or is good with children, he's either 'not a real man', a pedo, or gay."
"Some women??? Beat their kids??? To cope??? Kids should understand when mommy brings out the chapathi roller it's because they're just ungrateful brats! Being a mother is sooooo harddddd"
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