how fuckd up would it be if rabbits had tumblr….
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🐇 raspberryberet2 Follow
i cant believe leporidae on this site dont know how to courtship correctly. an anon just asked me why their relationship isnt working even though he only chased her for 5 minutes. any buck thats worth it would at LEAST have the energy to run for 7 hours!
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🌨️ chilledoutlop Follow
haters are mad my snow coat grew out better than theirs! cant help it if im surviving this winter!
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🌷jarjarbinkies111 Follow
my hungry ass could never live next to a gardener…
#tunnelr is sooo easy
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🌵 curious-hare Follow
met this girl online and turns out she wasnt a ‘doe’ she was a DOE. a deer. we both met near the canyon lakes and guess who almost got trampled!! fml
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🥀 blanc-de-thoto Follow
i want Benedict Cucumberpatch to sign my dewlap SO BAD!!!
🔁 blanc-de-thoto
is this really how i talked back in 2011
#why was i like that
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🥀 blanc-de-thoto Follow
omhg i NEED him sooo bad.. he could fix me in every single way
#freaking out rn #writing a new chapter for that angst fic about his family btw!!
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🍄 lucky7tail Follow
what would happen if i tried to chase the hunters dogs instead of them chasing me..
🔁 lucky7tail Follow
hopital.
#not the gotcha i thought it was
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Yo stalkeo mis propios posts para ver el desarrollo de personaje.
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Tumblr también es un hombro para los que no tienen otro. No todo el mundo tiene donde gritar o donde llorar.
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Something very unfortunate, but my enthusiasm for columbo has made my friend, for some reason, not like him! How can they not like him? D: He's just a little guy!
honestly? i totally understand. and i run this blog.
columbo is likeable because we always see his best qualities. he does valiant work at a noble job. he's strong, he's intelligent; he's kind, he's just. he makes the right deductions and then makes sure he's right before acting upon them. he's played by peter falk. so yeah, most people want to kick back and have a beer with columbo, even (especially?) some of the people he puts in handcuffs.
but for a second, wash columbo of his charm, kindness, and intellect: the man is an evil fucking bastard. he is naturally annoying--one of his superpowers, which he knows and exploits. he is calculating, devious, manipulative. his overly polite, ingratiating manner wears very thin very quickly, doubly so if he's choosing to play especially dumb. he's a sadistic, disgusting, deceptive little troll who drops by unannounced and practically forces his way into your house, occupying it when it seems like he doesn't even need to be there, flaunting his authority. on top of it all he insists on billowing that cheap, stinking cigar smoke in your face, dropping ashes everywhere while smiling so smugly, so condescendingly, that you want to wring his little neck, his mumbling voice dripping with feigned apology all the while. he asks if you can use your phone, but not really, because he's actually telling you he's using it as he picks it up and makes a call before you can even open your mouth.
through it all, he outright implies that you or someone you love is a homicidal maniac.
then he fucking breaks your television. suddenly, mrs. peck becomes very sympathetic
now i'll ask you to imagine that, on top of all the aforementioned, columbo was, even once, wrong about who the killer was. i am asking you to sit there and imagine the most endearing waterboarding session you can. imagine subjecting an innocent human being to a punishment so cruel and unusual. imagine, as peter falk himself described, that a bunch of little ducks are nibbling at you, pecking at you in a hellish, promethean bid to get you to finally scream to the heavens in confession for your crime.
columbo is eminently lovable, but that love hinges entirely on the fact that he's always right. because if he isn't, he's worse than merely annoying--he's evil.
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