#‘my size’ is a basically useless filter because you want to put in the full range of sizes that might fit you in some brands | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

thedoctorcried · 3 years

Text

Runaway - Part Eighteen

~Masterlist~

Concept: Hazel Richards is a twenty-year-old woman living in London. When she meets a mysterious time-travelling alien known only as the Hunter, she’s thrust into a world of wonder she could only have imagined.

Warnings: swearing, follows S1 of Doctor Who.

"You know the Hunter," the nearest Dalek to Hazel stated, swivelling to face her. "You understand her. You will predict her actions."

"I don't know," Hazel told it. "And even if I did, I wouldn't tell you."

"Predict! Predict! Predict!" the Dalek ordered.

"TARDIS detected in flight."

"Launch missiles. Exterminate!"

"You can't!" Hazel protested, her eyes widening. "The TARDIS hasn't got any defences. You're going to kill her!"

The Dalek looked at her. "You have predicted correctly."

***

"We've got incoming!" Jack announced, seeing the missiles on the monitor. They struck the TARDIS, but inside, they felt little more than a minor jolt. He grinned. "The extrapolator's working. We've got a fully functional forcefield. Try saying that when you're drunk."

The Hunter smiled at him from across the console. "And for my next trick." She materialised the TARDIS around Hazel, trying not to get any Daleks too. As it was, only one was in the TARDIS. "Haze, get down! Get down, Haze!"

Hazel hit the deck, and the Dalek's head and body swivelled round to look at the Hunter. "Exterminate!" She ducked, making it miss, and Jack took it out with his Defabricator.

"You did it," Hazel breathed, hugging the Hunter tightly. "Feels like I haven't seen you in years."

"I told you I'd come and get you," the Hunter reminded her.

"Never doubted it," Hazel smiled.

"I did," the Hunter admitted, pulling back to look her over. "You all right?"

"Yeah," she nodded. "You?"

The Hunter blew out a breath shakily. "Been better."

"Hey, don't I get a hug?" Jack complained.

Hazel grinned. "Oh, come here!"

"I was talking to her," Jack joked, but hugged her. "Welcome home, Jules."

"Oh, I thought I'd never see you again," Hazel sighed, grinning.

Jack scoffed. "Oh, you were lucky. That was just a one shot wonder. Drained the gun of all its power supply. Now it's just a piece of junk." He tossed the Defabricator aside, and they went over to the Hunter, who was watching the smoking remains of the Dalek wistfully.

"You said they were extinct," Hazel said, putting her hand on her arm. "How comes they're still alive?"

"One minute they're the greatest threat in the universe, the next minute they vanished out of time and space," Jack added.

"They went off to fight a bigger war," the Hunter told him. "The Time War."

Jack's eyes widened. "I thought that was just a legend."

The Hunter shook her head, putting her hand over Hazel's. "I was there. The war between the Daleks and the Time Lords, with the whole of creation at stake. My people were destroyed, but they took the Daleks with them. I almost thought it was worth it. Now it turns out they died for nothing."

Hazel bit her lip. "There's thousands of them now. We could hardly stop one. What're we going to do?"

There was a long pause in which none of them said a word. Hazel and Jack were waiting for the Hunter to think of something, hoping she could save them. The Hunter was watching them with wide eyes, wondering how these two beautiful, brilliant humans were so prepared to fight a losing battle with her. Barely a year ago, Hazel had been a normal human girl, living with a man who wasn't even really her brother. Not six months ago, Jack had been a coward, a conman, a crook. And now the pair of them were stepping up to try and save the world, maybe even the universe, against a race of creatures thriving on hate and murder. It was a losing battle, but there was no one else she'd rather fight it with. If only Apollo were there to make it even better.

She took a deep breath, then grinned at them. "No good stood round here chin-wagging. Human race, you'd gossip all day. The Daleks have got the answers. Let's go and meet the neighbours."

Hazel's eyes widened as the Hunter headed for the door. "You can't go out there!"

"Exterminate! Exterminate! Exterminate!"

The Hunter stepped out of the TARDIS, rolling her eyes as the Dalek rays were stopped by the extrapolator forcefield. "Seriously? Is that it? Useless! Nul points." She turned around and beckoned Hazel and Jack out. "It's all right, come on out. That forcefield can hold back anything."

"Almost anything," Jack corrected, then winced at the look the Hunter shot him.

"Gee, Jack, I wonder what it was I wasn't going to tell them? Oh, wait."

He smiled sheepishly. "Sorry."

She rolled her eyes, turning back to the Daleks. "Do you know what they call me in the ancient legends of the Dalek Homeworld? The Bringer of Darkness. You might've removed all your emotions but I reckon right down deep in your DNA, there's one little spark left, and that's fear. Doesn't it just burn when you face me? So tell me. How did you survive the Time War?"

"They survived through me." The lights came on to reveal a giant opened Dalek casing, the inner one-eyed mutant sitting as if on its throne.

"Haze, Captain, this is the Emperor of the Daleks," the Hunter introduced, her eyes widening ever so slightly.

"You destroyed us, Hunter. The Dalek race died in your inferno, but my ship survived, falling through time, crippled but alive," the Emperor stated.

"I get it," the Hunter nodded.

"Do not interrupt."

The Hunter raised an eyebrow. "I think you're forgetting something. I'm the Hunter, and if there's one thing I can do, it's talk. I've got five billion languages, and you haven't got one way of stopping me. So if anybody here's going to be shutting up, it's you!" She smirked as the Daleks backed away. "So, where were we?"

"We waited here in the dark space, damaged but rebuilding," the Emperor explained. "Centuries passed, and we quietly infiltrated the systems of Earth, harvesting the waste of humanity. The prisoners, the refugees, the dispossessed. They all came to us. The bodies were filtered, pulped, sifted. The seed of the human race is perverted. Only one cell in a billion was fit to be nurtured."

"So you created an army of Daleks out of the dead," the Hunter realised, disgusted.

"That makes them half human," Hazel pointed out.

"Those words are blasphemy!" the Emperor decreed.

"Do not blaspheme."

"Everything human has been purged. I cultivated pure and blessed Dalek," the Emperor stated.

The Hunter frowned. "Since when did the Daleks have a concept of blasphemy?"

"I reached into the dirt and made new life. I am the God of all Daleks!"

"Worship him."

"They're insane," the Hunter realised. "Hiding in silence for hundreds of years, that's enough to drive anyone mad. But it's worse than that. Driven mad by your own flesh. The stink of humanity. You hate your own existence. And that makes them more deadly than ever. We're going."

"You may not leave my presence," the Emperor forbade.

"Toodle-oo!" the Hunter waved, then shut the door behind her, Hazel, and Jack. She leant her forehead against the door for a long moment, sighing. She looked down as a hand slipped into hers, and managed a smile, squeezing gently.

***

"Turn everything up!" the Hunter ordered as soon as she exited the TARDIS on Floor Five Hundred. "All transmitters full power, wide open. Now! Do it!"

"What does this do?" Pavale asked, even as he did as told.

"Stops the Daleks from transmatting on board," the Hunter replied. "How did you get on? Did you contact Earth?"

Pavale bit his lip. "Well, we tried to warn them, but all they did was suspend our license because we stopped the programmes."

The Hunter sighed. "And the planet's just sitting there, defenceless." She blinked, seeing a familiar blonde working at a console to up the transmitters. "Lynda, what're you still doing on board? I told you to evacuate everyone."

"She wouldn't go," Pavale muttered.

Lynda blushed. "Didn't want to leave you."

Another woman scoffed. "There weren't enough shuttles anyway, or I wouldn't be here. We've got about a hundred people stranded on Floor Zero."

Pavale blanched looking at his computer screen. "Oh my God. The Fleet is moving. They're on their way."

The Hunter sprung into action, talking as she started building something, pulling things out of the conduits to make it with. "Dalek plan. Big mistake, because what have they left me with? Anyone? Anyone? Oh, come on, it's obvious. A great big transmitter. This station. If I can change the signal, fold it back, sequence it, anyone?"

Jack's eyes widened. "You've got to be kidding."

"Give the man a medal!"

"A Delta Wave?" Jack asked.

The Hunter grinned. "A Delta Wave!"

Hazel frowned. "What's a Delta Wave?"

"A wave of Van Cassadyne energy," Jack replied. "It fries your brain. Stand in the way of a Delta Wave and your head gets barbequed."

"And this place can transmit a massive wave," the Hunter added. "Wipe out the Daleks!"

"Well, get started and do it then," Lynda encouraged.

The Hunter bit her lip. "Trouble is, wave this size, building this big, brain as clever as mine, should take about...ooh, three days? How long till the Fleet arrive?"

"Twenty two minutes," Pavale answered, blanching.

***

Jack stood up a while later after helping the Hunter to start building the basics of the Delta Wave. "We've now got a forcefield so they can't blast us out of the sky, but that doesn't stop the Daleks from physically invading."

"Do they know about the Delta Wave?" Pavale asked.

"They'll have worked it out at the same time," Jack confirmed. "So, they want to stop the Hunter. That means they've got to get to this level, Five Hundred. Now, I can concentrate the extrapolator around the top six levels, Five Hundred to Four Ninety Five. So they'll penetrate the station below that at level Four Ninety Four and fight their way up."

"Who are they fighting?" Pavale questioned, already knowing the answer.

"Us," Jack deadpanned.

Pavale sighed. "And what are we fighting with?"

"The guards had guns with bastic bullets," Jack replied. "That's enough to blow a Dalek wide open."

"There's five of us," one woman protested.

"Haze, you can help me," the Hunter requested hastily. "I need all these wires stripping bare."

The woman rolled her eyes. "Right, now there's four of us."

"Then let's move it," Jack ordered. "Into the lift. Isolate the lift controls." Pavale and his colleague ran off, leaving just Jack, Lynda, the Hunter, and Hazel.

"I just want to say, well, thanks, I suppose, and I'll do my best," Lynda said, shrugging.

"Me too," the Hunter agreed. They shook hands, and she went to the lifts.

Jack sighed, looking between them. "It's been fun, but I guess this is goodbye."

"Don't talk like that," Hazel told him. "Artie's going to do it. You just watch her."

He hugged her. "Jules, you are worth fighting for." He kissed her, making her roll her eyes. Then he moved onto the Hunter, who made an effort to smile. "Wish I'd never met you, Queenie. I was much better off as a coward." He kissed her, too. He laughed a little as he pulled back, seeing the way they were both looking at him, like they couldn't bear him to go. "See you in hell." He jogged off, knowing that if he stayed any longer, they'd persuade him not to go.

Hazel bit her lip. "He's going to be all right, isn't he?"

The Hunter sighed, watching him go. "I hope so."

***

Jack climbed up to stand on a pile of crates on Floor Zero, firing a machine gun into the air to get everyone's attention. "One last time! Any more volunteers? There's an army about to invade this station. I need every last citizen to mount a defence."

"Don't listen to him!" Rodrick shouted. "There aren't any Daleks. They disappeared thousands of years ago."

"Thanks," Jack nodded as one of the workers volunteered. "As for the rest of you, the Daleks will enter the station at Floor Four Ninety Four and as far as I can tell, they'll head up, not down. But that's not a promise. So here's a few words of advice. Keep quiet. And if you hear fighting up above, if you hear us dying, then tell me that the Daleks aren't real. Don't make a sound." He turned back to his team, jumping down off the box. "Let's go." They got into the lift.

***

"Suppose..." Hazel began, then shook her head, going back to the wires she was stripping.

"What?" the Hunter asked, making connections to build the wave.

"Nothing."

The Hunter glanced up at her. "You said suppose."

"No, I was just thinking," Hazel shrugged. "I mean, obviously you can't, but you've got a time machine. Why can't you just go back to last week and warn them?"

"As soon as the TARDIS lands in that second, I become part of events, stuck in the timeline," the Hunter explained.

Hazel nodded, sighing. "Yeah, thought it'd be something like that."

"There's another thing the TARDIS could do," the Hunter suggested. "She could take us away. We could leave. Let history take its course. We could go to Marbella in 1989."

"Yeah, but you'd never do that," Hazel pointed out.

"No, but you could ask." The Hunter smiled at Hazel's surpised expression, shaking her head. "Never even occurred to you, did it?"

"Well, I'm just too good," Hazel shrugged, grinning.

The Hunter looked up as a computer bleeped. "The Delta Wave's started building. How long does it need?" She ran over to the console, Hazel following, unable to make sense of what was on screen.

"Is that bad?" she asked, then caught sight of the Hunter's pale expression. "Okay, it's bad. How bad is it?"

"Hazel Norton, you're a genius!" the Hunter declared suddenly. "We can do it. If I use the TARDIS to cross my old timeline..." She pretended to think, then grinned. "Yes!" She ushered Hazel into the TARDIS and pointed to a lever. "Hold that down and keep it in position."

Hazel did so, grinning at her enthusiasm. "What's it do?"

"Cancels the buffers," the Hunter lied. "If I'm very clever - and I'm more than clever, I'm brilliant - I might just save the world." She paused. "Or rip it apart."

"I'd go for the first one," Hazel said, making a face.

"Me too," the Hunter admitted, grinning. "Now, I've just got to go and power up the Game Station. Hold on!" She ran out, and stopped, the doors swinging shut behind her. She buzzed her sonic screwdriver and the engines started.

"Art, what're you doing?" Hazel called from inside. "Can I take my hand off? It's moving." There was a banging on the door. "Artie, let me out! Let me out! Artie, what've you done?" The Hunter closed her eyes briefly as the TARDIS dematerialised. At least she was safe.

***

Inside, Hazel whipped around as she heard a familiar voice, only to curse when she saw the Hunter was just a hologram. "This is Emergency Programme One. Hazel, please, listen, this is important. If this message is activated, then it can only mean one thing. We must be in danger. And I mean fatal. I'm dead or about to die any second with no chance of escape."

"No!" Hazel cried.

"And that's okay," the Hunter smiled. "Hope it's a good death. But I promised to look after you, and that's what I'm doing. The TARDIS is taking you home."

"I won't let you!" Hazel started fiddling with the controls, to no effect.

"And I bet you're fussing and moaning now. I'm flattered, really, I am. But hold on and just listen a bit more. The TARDIS can never return for me. Emergency Programme One means I'm facing an enemy that should never get their hands on this machine. So this is what you should do. Let the TARDIS die. Just let this old box gather dust. No one can open her. No one'll even notice her. Let her become a strange little thing standing on a street corner. And over the years, the world'll move on, and the box will be buried. And if you want to remember me, then you can do one thing. That's all, just one thing." And the hologram suddenly turned so the Hunter was staring directly into Hazel's eyes, and the human girl saw something in her eyes stronger than anything she'd ever seen before. "Have a good life. Do that for me, Haze. Have a fantastic life." The hologram flickered out, and Hazel made a noise like a strangled cat.

"You can't do this to me!" she shrieked. "You can't! Take me back! Take me back!" She looked up as the engines stopped. "No!" She ran outside, only to see the Powell Estate, then ran back in. "Come on, fly! How do you fly? Come on, help me!" Eventually, she gave up and slumped against the outside of the box, tears pouring down her cheeks.

"I knew it!" Mike shouted, running up to her. "I was all the way down Clifton Parade, and I heard the engines. I thought, there's only one thing that makes a noise like that." He paused, noticing her distress. "What is it?"

She just buried her head in her arms, crying her heart out.

***

"Jules, I've called up the internal laser codes," Jack called through the comms system, making the Hunter look up from her work to the viewscreen he was on. "There should be a different number on every screen. Can you read them out to me?"

"She's not here," the Hunter told him.

Jack groaned. "Of all the times to take a leak. When she gets back, tell her to read me the codes."

"She's not coming back," the Hunter shook her head, looking away.

He frowned. "What do you mean? Where'd she go?"

"Just get on with your work," she ordered.

"You took her home, didn't you," he realised.

She nodded, meeting his eyes. "Yeah."

"The Delta Wave, is it ever going to be ready?" Jack asked.

The Dalek Emperor appeared on a second viewscreen. "Tell him the truth, Hunter. There is every possibility the Delta Wave could be complete, but no possibility of refining it. The Delta Wave must kill every living thing in its path, with no distinction between human and Dalek. All things will die by your hand."

"Queenie, the range of this transmitter covers the entire Earth," Jack warned.

"You would destroy Daleks and Humans together," the Emperor sneered. "If I am God, the creator of all things, then what does that make you, Hunter?"

She took a deep breath, steeling herself. "There are colonies out there. The Human Race would survive in some shape or form, but you're the only Daleks in existence. The whole universe is in danger if I let you live. Do you see, Jack? That's the decision I've got to make for every living thing. Die as a human, or live as a Dalek." She met his eyes. "What would you do?"

Jack hesitated for a moment, then nodded. "You sent her home. She's safe. Keep working."

"But she will exterminate you!" the Emperor exclaimed.

Jack smirked. "Never doubted her. Never will." He ended the transmission.

"Now you tell me, God of all Daleks, because there's one thing I never worked out," the Hunter admitted. "The words Bad Wolf, spread across time and space, everywhere, drawing me in. How'd you manage that?"

"I did nothing," the Emperor told her.

"Oh, come on, there's no secrets now, your worship," she goaded.

"They are not part of my design. This is the Truth of God," it stated.

The Hunter swallowed, moving her gaze to the Bad Wolf Corporation sign on the wall. What are you, Bad Wolf?

***

Jason and Mike were eating their meals out of the polystyrene containers they had been sold them in at a café, keeping Hazel company.

"And it's gone up market, this place," Jason was saying. "They're doing little tubs of coleslaw now." He made a face. "It's not very nice. It tastes a bit sort of clinical."

"Have you tried that new pizza place down Minto Road?" Mike suggested.

"What's it selling?" Jason asked, eyeing Hazel worriedly.

"Pizza," Mike deadpanned.

"That's nice," Jason nodded. "Do they deliver?"

"Yeah."

Jason sighed. "Oh, Haze, have something to eat, please."

She scowled, making no efforts to conceal the tear tracks on her face. "Two hundred thousand years in the future, she's dying, and there's nothing I can do."

"Well, like you said, two hundred thousand years," Jason shrugged. "It's a way off."

"But it's not," Hazel protested. "It's now. That fight is happening right now, and she's fighting for us, for the whole planet, and I'm just sitting here eating chips!"

Jason shook his head. "Listen to me. God knows I have hated that woman, but right now, I love her, and do you know why? Because she did the right thing. She sent you back to me."

"But what do I do every day, Jace? What do I do?" Hazel asked. "Get up, catch the bus, go to work, come back home, eat chips, and go to bed? Is that it?"

"It's what the rest of us do," Mike pointed out.

"But I can't!" she protested.

"Why, because you're better than us?" he raised his eyebrows.

"No, I didn't mean that," she said quickly. "But it was... It was a better life. And I don't mean all the travelling and seeing aliens and spaceships and things. That don't matter. Artie showed me a better way of living your life." She nudged Mike. "You know, she showed you too. That you don't just give up. You don't just let things happen. You make a stand. You say no. You have the guts to do what's right when everyone else just runs away, and I just can't -" She suddenly jumped to her feet and ran out of the café, tears brimming over.

***

"Right, Lynda, you are my eyes and ears," Jack stated, flashing a smile even though he knew she couldn't see him. "When the Daleks get in, you can follow it on that screen and report it to me."

"Understood," Lynda nodded.

"They'll detect you, but the door's made of Hydra Combination. It should keep them out," Jack told her.

"Should?" she echoed.

"It's the best I can do," he winced. "How long till the Fleet arrives?"

"They've accelerated," Pavale replied.

Jack bit his lip. "This is it, ladies and gentlemen. We are at war!"

***

"You can't spend the rest of your life thinking about the Hunter," Mike tried, sitting next to Hazel near the Powell Estate.

"But how do I forget her?" Hazel asked, sniffing.

"You've got to start living your own life," he advised. "You know, a proper life, like the kind she's never had. The sort of life that you could have with me."

Hazel looked away, shaking her head, then her eyes widened as she saw 'BAD WOLF' graffitied across the tarmac of the play area. "Over here," she whispered. "It's over here as well!"

"That's been there for years," Mike told her dismissively. "It's just a phrase. It's just words."

"I thought it was a warning," Hazel continued, ignoring him as she wiped her cheeks impatiently, a smile beginning to blossom on her face. "Maybe it's the opposite. Maybe it's a message. The same words written down now and two hundred thousand years in the future. It's a link between me and Artie. Bad Wolf here, Bad Wolf there."

Mike shook his head. "But if it's a message, what's it saying?"

"It's telling me I can get back," Hazel realised, starting to grin. "The least I can do is help her escape." She ran back into the TARDIS, Mike at her heels. "All the TARDIS needs to do is make a return trip. Just reverse."

"Yeah, but we still can't do it," Mike pointed out.

"Artie always said the TARDIS was telepathic. This ship is alive. She can listen," Hazel explained.

"Yeah, well, she's not listening now, is she?" Mike shrugged.

"We need to get inside," Hazel decided. "Last time I saw you, with the Slitheen, this middle bit opened and there was this light, and Artie said it was the heart of the TARDIS. If we can open it, I can make contact. I can tell her what to do."

"Hazel," Mike said quietly.

"Hmm?" She turned to look at him, raising her eyebrows expectantly.

"If you go back, you're going to die," he said.

She bit her lip. "That's a risk I've got to take, because there's nothing left for me here."

"Nothing?" Mike checked.

"Not without her," Hazel shook her head.

Mike was silent for a minute, then nodded. "Okay, if that's what you think, let's get this thing open."

***

"Okay, activate internal lasers," Jack ordered. "Slice them up."

"Defences have gone offline," Lynda reported. "The Dalek's have overridden the lot." She winced as she heard the firing of guns, then a woman screaming out in pain as she died.

***

Mike had fastened a heavy chain to the tow hitch on his Mini, with the other end attached to the TARDIS console. He drove forwards slowly, trying to pull it open.

"Faster!" Hazel encouraged.

"Come on!" Mike growled.

"It's not moving!" Hazel called. Suddenly, the chain snapped, and she kicked the console on frustration.

***

"Advance guard have made it to Four Ninety Five," Lynda reported.

"Jack, how're we doing?" the Hunter asked.

"Four Ninety Five should be good," Jack shrugged. "I like Four Ninety Five."

The Anne Droid destroyed a few Daleks, but then its head was shot off and it deactivated.

"They're flying up the ventilation shafts," Lynda stated, then gasped. "No, wait a minute. Oh my God. Why're they doing that? They're going down." She heard screams through the comms, and turned off the sound from the bottom floor. "Floor Zero," she whispered. "They killed them all."

***

"It was never going to work, sweetheart," Jason soothed, his arm around Hazel as she wept in the jump seat. "And the Hunter knew that. She just wanted you to be safe."

"I can't give up," Hazel wept.

"Lock to door," Jason urged. "Walk away."

"I can't!" Hazel insisted. "I... I think I love her."

Jason froze. "What do you mean?"

"She took me to see Mum and Dad, back before it all went to shit," Hazel told him. "And I - I couldn't deal with it and I just broke down, and - and she could have just left me alone, but she came and comforted me and held me till I fell asleep and I just realised - she's been doing it all along, looking after me, and I never recognised it or anything, but I just love her!" She sniffed, wiping her cheeks. "I can't just leave her there to die!"

"She was saving your life!"

"Why won't you let me save hers?!" Hazel shot back.

Jason looked at her, his eyes wide. "Because she and I have an agreement that you come first." He stormed out, leaving her staring after him.

***

"Lynda!" the Hunter called. "What's happening on Earth?"

"The Fleet's descending," Lynda replied. "They're bombing whole continents. Europa, Pacifica, the New American Alliance. Australasia's just gone."

***

Mike sighed, biting his lip as Hazel came out of the TARDIS, her face tearstained. "There's got to be something else we can do."

"Maybe Jace was right," Hazel sighed, wiping a hand over her face. "Maybe we should just lock the door and walk away."

"I'm not having that," Mike decided, shaking his head. "I'm not having you just, just give up now. No way. We just need something stronger than my car. Something bigger." He turned, and his eyes widened. "Something like that!" Hazel turned to follow his gaze, and they were both confronted with a big yellow recovery truck coming round the corner.

Jason got out, handing the keys over. "Right, you've only got this until six o'clock, so get on with it."

Hazel's eyes were the size of dinner plates. "Jace, where the hell did you get that from?"

"Rodrigo," her brother replied. "He owes me a favour. Never mind why, but you were right, sweetheart. You come first, always, and I'm not letting you suffer while she gets herself killed. Now, get on with it before I change my mind." Mickey climbed up into the cabin.

***

"I've got a problem," Lynda called, sounding scared. "They've found me."

"You'll be all right, Lynda," the Hunter assured her, biting her lip. "That side of the station's reinforced against meteors."

"Hope so!" Lynda chuckled. "You know what they say about Earth workmanship." Then there was the sound of glass shattering, and she screamed just once before the line went dead. The Hunter bowed her head.

"Last man standing!" Jack shouted, from just around the corner, making the Time Lady look up sharply. "For God's sake, Queenie, finish that thing and kill them!"

"Finish that thing and kill mankind," the Emperor countered.

***

"Keep going!" Hazel shouted from inside the TARDIS as she watched the chain strain against the console.

"Put your foot down!" Jason relayed from outdoors.

"Faster!"

"Give it some more, Mikey!"

"Keep going!"

"Come on, come on!"

"Keep going!"

"Give it some more!"

The console burst open, and Hazel looked into it, golden energy streaming into her eyes.

"Haze!" Mickey shouted, but she clicked her fingers, and the TARDIS doors slammed shut in his face. She smiled as the TARDIS began to dematerialise, piloting her thousands of years into the future to save the Hunter.

***

"Queenie, you've got twenty seconds maximum!" Jack shouted. He ran out of bullets in his machine gun, and threw it aside, switching to a pistol, which was also empty.

"Exterminate!" the Dalek pursuing him stated.

He rolled his eyes. "I kind of figured that." The blast threw him back into the lift, and Captain Jack Harkness died in the knowledge that they'd at least saved Hazel.

"It's ready!" the Hunter called, before the Daleks entered from all sides. Her blood ran cold as she got no answer, realising what must have happened. "You really want to think about this, because if I activate the signal, every living creature dies."

"I am immortal," the Emperor stated.

"Do you want to put that to the test?" the Hunter snarled, narrowing her eyes.

"I want to see you become like me," the Emperor countered. "Hail the Hunter, the Great Exterminator."

"I'll do it!" she threatened.

"Then prove yourself, Hunter," the Emperor challanged. "What are you, coward or killer?"

The Hunter tensed, her mind full of the names of everyone she knew who'd died today, Jack's name right at the top of that list, urging her to do it, to kill the Daleks once and for all. But then another name came into her mind - a pure name, full of memories of happiness and laughter, and love. Hazel. The Hunter remembered the shock in her eyes when she'd threatened to kill just one Dalek, and suddenly she found herself unable to throw the final lever, despite what the Daleks had done to everything she loved. "Coward," she whispered. "Any day."

The Emperor seemed pleased. "Mankind will be harvested because of your weakness."

"And what about me?" the Hunter asked dully. "Am I becoming one of your angels?"

"You are the heathen," the Emperor informed her. "You will be exterminated."

"Maybe it's time," the Hunter sighed, kneeling and closing her eyes. She could've sworn she could hear the TARDIS' engines, but it was probably just her memories.

"Alert!" a Dalek cried, and her eyes shot open. "TARDIS materialising."

The Hunter got to her feet as the ship landed, turning to see the doors open and reveal a bright golden light. A humanoid shape was silhouetted in the doorway, and as the light dimmed, the Hunter realised who it was. "What've you done?" she cried.

"I looked into the TARDIS, and the TARDIS looked into me," Hazel replied, her voice echoing unnaturally.

The Hunter's eyes widened. "You looked into the Time Vortex. Haze, no one's meant to see that!"

"This is the Abomination!" the Emperor declared.

"Exterminate!"

Hazel lifted a hand casually, and the beam shattered upon impact. "I am Bad Wolf. I create myself. I take the words; I scatter them in time and space. A message to lead myself here."

"Hazel, you've got to stop this," the Hunter pleaded. "You've got to stop this now. You've got the entire vortex running through your head. You're going to burn!"

Hazel looked at her, her eyes shining with loving tears. "I want you safe. My Artemis. Protected from the false god." Her voice caught.

"You cannot hurt me," the Emperor scoffed. "I am immortal."

"You are tiny," Hazel corrected. "I can see the whole of time and space. Every single atom of your existence, and I divide them." She lowered her hand, and a nearby Dalek disintegrated slowly. "Everything must come to dust. All things. Everything dies. The Time War ends."

The Daleks crumbled to the ground.

"I will not die!" the Emperor cried, even as he, too, disintegrated. "I cannot die!"

The Hunter watched with wide eyes as the entire spaceship turned to dust. "Haze, you've done it. Now stop. Just let go."

"How can I let go of this?" Hazel laughed - a soft, tinkling melody that sounded nothing like her usual giggle. "I bring life."

There was a loud gasp from the corridor as Jack came back to life. The Hunter glanced over, a look of consternation on her face. "But this is wrong! You can't control life and death!"

"But I can," Hazel assured her. "The sun and the moon, and the day and night." She sighed blissfully, before wincing, her face contorting in pain. "But why do they hurt?"

"The power's going to kill you and it's all my fault," the Hunter realised, covering her mouth in horror.

"I can see everything," Hazel breathed. "All that is, all that was, all that ever could be."

"That's what I see," the Hunter told her softly. "All the time. And doesn't it drive you mad?"

"My head," Hazel groaned, swaying slightly.

"Come here," the Hunter whispered, holding her arms out towards her.

"It's killing me," Hazel whimpered in realisation, stumbling towards the Time Lady.

The Hunter smiled down at her as she supported Hazel in her arms. A tear rolled down her cheek, splashing down to join the many already adorning Hazel's cheeks. The Hunter sniffed, smiling, and wiped them away with her thumb. "Oh, Hazie..." She sighed happily. "I think I need you." She leaned down and kissed her, their eyes both closing as she started to pull the vortex from Hazel's mind. When the golden energy had transferred across completely, Hazel gasped slightly, her eyes opening. The Hunter pulled away, smiling gently at her through her tears. Hazel managed a small smile back before she fainted in her arms.

The Hunter carried her into the TARDIS, setting her down on the jump seat carefully before exhaling the energy back into the ship. The doors closed, and the TARDIS dematerialised, leaving one revived man stranded on a satellite full of corpses.

~~~

If you enjoyed, please like and/or reblog, and consider donating to my Kofi to help me keep writing! Thanks for reading :)

#doctor who #doctor who fanfiction #gxg #lgbt #captain jack harkness #tardis #time lady #series #oc insert #thedoctorcried #slow burn

3 notes · View notes

amphtaminedreams · 4 years

Text

A/W 2020 Fashion Month: Before Vogue Went Blank (Part 2)

Hi to anyone reading,

I was going to start this post by jumping straight into Dion Lee and part 2 in general but there's been a lot going on the past couple of days-although this blog is primarily fashion, it wouldn’t feel right to start talking about designers without acknowledging all the shit that’s been going down.

^Photo Credit to @spiltcoco on Twitter

Yesterday, police footage came out of US police murdering yet another black man in broad daylight-George Floyd. He joins Sandra Bland, Eric Garner, Tamir Rice, Freddie Gray, and Alton Sterling, plus hundreds more named and god knows how many more unnamed African American citizens in the ever-growing list of victims of police brutality.

The majority of these are just people going about their daily lives, a majority of them doing absolutely nothing wrong; even those we know to have committed crimes have been unarmed and non-violent offenders. That being said, their offences are beside the point when we’ve seen the white perpetrators of mass shootings be calmly cuffed and escorted into the backs of police cars as if they were the ones selling cigarettes without permits. American police, given the amount of them that are armed, regularly become judge, jury and executioner trained for 8 weeks by an institution that originated from slave patrols. I cannot imagine how terrifying it is just to walk around as a PoC in America. I cannot imagine the collective trauma that has been suffered because of recent events on top of the intergenerational trauma that most likely exists because of centuries of oppression. I cannot imagine what it’s like to live in a country that was built to suppress you and was by law allowed to do so until very recently, those original structures still in place. I cannot imagine what it’s like to be made to feel like this is your fault. I mean, Boris Johnson is a useless, cold-hearted twat and I won’t defend him or this country for a minute (we have much blood on our own hands, and racial profiling is just as much a thing here as it is in America-I read earlier that you’re 28 times more likely to be stopped and searched in London as a non-white person compared to a white person), but I still can’t imagine him publicly advocating for the mass murder of groups he knows to be primarily made up of black people via Twitter. This whole situation is so unimaginably fucked up; anyone who still sees America as one of the world’s most developed nations needs to take a long, hard look at what is going on and reconsider that opinion.

Whilst we can’t fix everything, we can all speak up and make our voices heard, and it is our duty to do so. It’s not good enough to just “not be racist”, you have to be ANTI-racism, even if that means constantly reflecting on your own privilege and challenging your assumptions. Neutrality is complicity. Signing a petition isn’t going to change the world, but it’s a start:

https://www.change.org/p/mayor-jacob-frey-justice-for-george-floyd?recruiter=false&utm_source=share_petition&utm_medium=twitter&utm_campaign=psf_combo_share_initial&utm_term=psf_combo_share_abi&recruited_by_id=7ba70000-a127-11ea-87fb-d1ff0bf6ea96

As I publish this, there’s less than 50,000 signatures needed to hit the target of 6,000,000 so if you happen to see it, get signing! There are lots of other petitions online but Change.org seems to be the only major one you can sign in the UK as the other are US based and require a zip code. I never thought I’d close a paragraph by quoting Macklemore but the line “no freedom 'til we're equal, damn right I support it” is at the forefront of my mind right now. Again, neutrality is complicity. We’re never going to achieve a fair society by sitting on our asses and hoping things will improve. Let’s all do the best we can.

Sorry if that intro wasn’t what you came here for, but I just think it’s so important to talk about. I know I’ve said in the past that fashion is supposed to be an escape from everyday life but there are some times when real life needs our attention and this is one of them. Feel free to unfollow if you disagree.

Anyway, onto the fashion. If this is the first post you’re reading, welcome! There’s a part 1! But I don’t wanna be pushy so start here if you wish!

If you read part 1, welcome back!

I ended that post by practically falling at the feet of Dilara Findikoglu, and I so wanted to start this post by regaining a sense of dignity and go straight into what-the-fuck-ing at Dior, but I know breaking chronological order would really piss off those “OmG I’m SoOo OCD, tHis BuzZfeEd aRtiCle WiTh DiFfereNt SiZed TiLes ToLd Me!” which is basically me minus claiming liking things to be organised means I have OCD-no, just dermatillomania and the denial that a compulsive skin picking disorder has anything to do with OCD because the neuroses club that is my brain doesn’t have any space left. SO, I have to continue where I left off and star the post with Dion Lee, whose collections I am a big fan of.

I could ramble a bit more but I did enough of that at the beginning of part 1 and am sure I’ll do more than enough in this post anyway, so here it is, Dion Lee:

Considering we ended with the maximalism of Dilara Findikoglu, sliding back over towards the other far end of the scale with a designer that tends to pitch their tent on the borders of the minimalism camp feels correct. Dion Lee, fortunately, seems the perfect collection to open with. There aren’t many other brands who do edge in such an understated and masterful way. If you want to be ready for combat and look like you’d fit right in at Vogue at the same time, look no further. This season’s collection is full of perfectly placed cut outs and immaculate tailoring and subtle street fighter-esque details as ever, and that’s why it pains me to say it:

Not that this is enough in the way of critique to restore my dignity by any means, it’s not a patch on last season.

I don’t think there was a single bad look in that show, and at times it felt like I was weeding through them here. When the looks were good, they were GOOD but a lot I found to be disappointing. Plus I have no idea why you’d put tie-dye in an A/W collection. I appreciate that it’s an Australian brand and that our winter is their summer, but they’re presenting to the rest of the world at fashion week and anyone in Paris, Milan, London and New York is going to be freezing their tits off and looking like a twat in an orange tie-dye sundress. There wasn’t much of a dip in quality for the menswear compared to last season, but honestly womenswear left a lot to be desired. That’s what happens when your expectations are high.

I used to think that if you assume the worst, it’s impossible to feel let down. And then I saw Dior’s A/W 2020 collection. Did a full 180 on that statement.

I suppose it’s a step up from haute couture, but then at least the styling in that was simple, and it just didn’t look like anybody had tried at all; here it’s clear Maria Grazia chucked everything she could at this collection, every headscarf, every gingham print, every shallow feminist undertone, and it was still a fucking mess. At first you think some of the individual pieces are cute but have just been ruined by the styling, and then you begin to look, and realise that even those individual pieces could’ve easily been bought in a New Look Boxing Day sale.

THIS IS CHRISTIAN DIOR, SUPPOSEDLY ONE OF THE MOST LUXURIOUS BRANDS OUT THERE. WHAT IS GOING ON!?

I don’t know, I included as many looks that I didn't mind as I could, but it’s like there always has to be a crappy, unnecessary detail in there. Everything is so literal. Of course the collection based around the divine feminine has the models dressed like basic ass Greek goddesses, so of course the collection based around the modern woman and equality has women walking the runway in ties and ill-fitting shoes too. Maria Grazia, here is a box:

Think outside of it.

Next is, thankfully, Elie Saab:

No, not exactly a trailblazer of a collection, but executed with poise and elegance as always. I mean, the styling is spot on. It looks like each part of the outfit was made for another, to contribute to a whole clearly envisioned look, similar to what we saw in the Alberta Ferretti show. Elie Saab is known for its haute couture shows where all the tiny details, the sequins and the silk and the embroidery come together to make something beautiful, and this is just that on a larger scale, with less “wow”s and more quiet admiration, more wishing you were the one wearing that outfit. If you’re gonna play safe, do it this well. The night dresses are stunning of course, but not even my favourite bit of the show. It’s the casual looks, the pussy bows and the ruffles and the neck scarfs and the private girls school monochrome colour palette with the occasional pop of red or purple, a toned down version of what we saw at haute couture, any of which deserve to be worn whilst eating macarons in front of the Eiffel Tower before trip to Musee D’Orsay. It’s Poppy Moore’s school uniform grown up and made fit for a fashion magazine editor:

Somehow managing to cram an Emma Roberts early 2010s fashion moment into every post is my talent, who knew. Wild Child was really a gem.

Erdem was a mixed bag:

With a lot of the outfits, I can’t tell if I actually like the garments that much or if I just like the look as a whole. I mean, without sounding too gluten-free Callie from the Valley, I like the VIBE, but there was a lot of outfits I almost included before I had to ask myself “LAUREN, do you ACTUALLY like this or do you just like the walking-into-your-sugar-daddy’s-will-reading-to-claim-his-fortune DRAMA of it all!?”

It happened a couple of times, where once I took off my black and white, theatrical violin accompanied entrance filtered sunglasses, I realised that the actual print was ugly. A collection so cohesively ornamental and kitschy is going to lean too far into that at times, and they were a few overly-fussy moments where it seemed less nudge nudge wink wink and more like Erdem Moralıoğlu fell into his grandma’s wardrobe, stole some fabric, and called it a day. I don’t want to sound like I’m not a fan of the collection because overall it’s gorgeous, I just thought it was a bit much at times.

Continuing with the theme of clever seasonal continuity that weaved its way throughout this year’s A/W offerings, Ermanno Scervino kept the core of his summer collection and made it just that little bit darker, added some weight to everything, and this is one of the rare occasions where I like the winter incarnation a lot more. I’m not huge about either but there’s a lot of things I’d love to wear here, the coats especially.

Up next is a reliable favourite of mine:

Etro.

Was it REALLY necessary for you to include ALL those coats I hear you ask?

Alaska Thunderfuck as Gia Gunn voice: Absolutelyyyy.

When it comes to bohemian fashion, Etro is unbeaten. Everything is always exquisitely coordinated and styled. Like I usually fucking hate aztec print but I love the way it’s done here. I’ve never known a brand to make belts seem like such an integral, tasteful part of the outfit in a field where they so often seem like a last minute addition for the sake of accessorising; it pains me to say it, but Elie Saab, I’m looking at you. It’s your only fault.

Yes for bringing back embroidered jeans! Yes for all those high necks! Yes for the tapestry print! Yes for the Afghan waistcoats! Etro will keep fedoras cool forever and I love them for that; I don’t know if she ever actually wore any of their stuff but I just know Stevie Nicks was in her prime would’ve ate this shit UP and she is my style icon for the ages. Plus, I might be way off base here but a lot of the collection seems to be inspired by traditional Romani style and it’s a beautiful direction to take things, a treasure trove of layers upon layers and rich textures and opulent prints.

I can’t wait til the phase of my phase of my life where I can swan around in maxi dresses and ponchos. I just hope those maxi dresses and ponchos are Etro.

Onto another brand which hasn’t had a bad show since I started my reviews: Fendi. This season, they took their late 60s/early 70s wild child aesthetic and gave a millionaire’s high maintenance wife spin on it, and what’s not to like about that?

I mean, Fendi is a brand which is always going to excel in its F/W presentations-the rich, bohemian prints (pro-tip: if you can’t already tell, me mentioning the word bohemian in a review pretty much guarantees I like the collection), the furs, and the warm colour palette all perfectly translate into clothes suited for walks through a city going through a post-summer burnout, where it rains red and orange leaves. You can tell Silvia Fendi is in her element when she’s got texture to play with, something that comes across in the gorgeous coats Fendi consistently puts out, and this season continues that trend. Plus, there’s a lot of adorable details here-shoes that show off the decorative socks underneath, the cube shaped bags and those furry ear muffs which I hope bring about a high street muff renaissance because they’re the equivalent of slipper socks for my ears and THEY’RE ACTUALLY REALLY PRACTICAL. The only thing I’m not in love with is the mirrored glasses, and I can’t help but think how replacing them with a pair of grandad style aviators would be the icing on the cake for the collection. Maybe I just need to see Miss Robyn Rihanna Fenty wearing them and then I’ll get on board. Usually works.

Ah, GCDS. I got so excited for it after last season but this time round, it was a bit of a disappointment. There were a few outfits that semi-matched up to how cutting-edge I saw their last collection, however a lot of the pieces looked pretty low quality. I get that streetwear is in the name, but it’s supposed to be a high fashion take on that, and a lot of the looks were quite pedestrian. Stand outs are the top 2 rows and the leather motocross style jumpsuit on the far right, third row down, but the quality of these pieces wasn’t consistent across the board and I feel like I ended up having to convince myself I liked some of the others just so I had enough photos to justify including the brand. It really sucks when I look back on how ahead of the game last season’s collection was-we’re talking outfits that wouldn’t be out of place on Instagram’s Tokyofashion page and as far as I’m concerned that’s the fashion holy grail. Some of these looks, especially the menswear, could be from a Boohoo TV ad and that makes me sad.

Meanwhile, Giambattista Valli put out a collection that looked like a virtual postcard of Parisian fashion; if a St-Germain-des-Prés streetwear themed Instagram doesn’t exist already, someone should capitalise on that, stat, because if my typical vision of French feminine fashion is correct it would be full of outfits like this. I feel like this is what a fashion novice EXPECTS Chanel to look like. Trust me-these days the reality is much more disappointing.

There’s many things I'm happy to see here besides the tulle and florals and prettiness I expect of the brand. Obviously the berets and the bows and the elbow length gloves are the kind of off-duty ballerina style touches I’ve become accustomed to but there are also some nice surprises here: the military style white jacket, the unexpected snake motif on clothing that’s otherwise overly delicate, and to my delight the return of the boater hat. IDGAF, this is the summer where I’m buying myself one off Ebay and making this happen for me whether they become a “thing” or not. I shouldn’t squander having this little of a double chin; the opportunity may never present itself again.

I haven’t watched Killing Eve in a longggg time since there’s only so much of two women attempting to kill each other and then miraculously avoiding death you can watch but I’d love to see Vilanelle prancing round a city in this kinda shit slitting some necks again. I hope that doesn’t make me sound like too much of a sadist; only in a purely fictional world is this something I want to see, I assure you.

Givenchy was really, really great this season too, imo. Definitely a step up from the last RTW anyway. Aside from the drama of the exaggerated floppy brim hats and the quirky tassle detail dresses a la Schiaparelli, a lot of these outfits kinda remind me of something a Miranda Priestly/Cruella De Vil type would wear, and you know me; I’m all for that kind of intimidating, about-to-either-slap-you-or-fire-your-ass bad bitch energy. The gathered leather gloves with the androgynous subtly checkered power suits feels CORRECT and if Giambattista Valli is the bottom in this relationship, Givenchy is the top. Am I allowed to reinforce sapphic relationship stereotypes as a bi girl? Probably not. I’m sorry. Won’t do it again. Just this once. And you know I’m right really xoxo

And OMFG Gucci. Another impeccable collection for me, honestly. Once again, it’s probably my favourite of the season. How it is that Alessandro Michelle gets it SO right for me despite his vision being so bold and different every time? He has this specific brand of strange, conceptual beauty which blends past and present trends in a way so supreme it should be considered art. It’s not a term to throw around loosely but the man is a genius, and tbh I’m still not over the human head props from the 2018 F/W winter show.

In my Haute Couture week review, I talked about the Viktor and Rolf collection (which I loved, don’t get me wrong!) and said that pretty meets grunge is my fave thing ever-this is that, but much even more substantial and intelligent. The Wes Anderson-esque pieces or that late 60s/early 70s hipster aesthetic that I loved in last season’s show hasn’t been done away with either-be it the level of detail or the colour scheme, it all somehow fits together. Never did I think I’d see dresses fit for porcelain dolls through the lens of Sid Vicious and Nancy Spungen seamlessly slotted in between outfits that could’ve been put together from the clothing rack of Dazed and Confused’s costume department. I want it all-opulent fur-trimmed coats, crucifix jewellery and pilgrim hats I’m sure both Edgar Allan Poe and modern goths would approve of, and the tiered skirts that wouldn’t be out of place in a Westworld saloon. The models were delightfully sad and almost creepy looking and I wouldn’t change that for the world. To say 10/10 doesn’t do it justice, so I’m gonna have to open a reviewer’s can of worms and say 100/100.

Gucci is a tough act to follow, and I’m sorry it has to fall onto the shoulders of Halpern. In the nicest possible way (as if there is any nice way of saying it), I don’t think I any expected anything but a downgrade, so if anything, my standards will be lower so...Michael Halpern, you can thank me I guess?

That was really mean, I’m sorry. It’s not a bad collection, and I definitely like it more than last season’s. It’s a slightly garish colour palette at times but an exciting one in spite of that, which when paired with the animal print dotted throughout makes this collection the perfect fit for a tropical beach party or at the very least, a semi-decent night at the Caribbean themed bar in your local town centre. The sequins and silk, a Halpern trademark, are as tastefully done as ever, and seeing them on the models, I can’t deny these are some power fits-the kind of clothes you are bound to look and feel confident in; if you wanted to play queen of the urban jungle for a night, this is what you need to be wearing.

Ah, Hermes.

Generally not one to stoke a fire inside me. In all fairness, the tailoring here is really, really nice and French biker chic, and the pieces are perfectly crafted-it’s not that I don’t like the outfits because I think that if I saw one of them individually in a natural, messier setting I’d probably be impressed. These are classy, elegant winter looks and what more could you want when you’re looking for outfit inspiration for this season? It’s just that it’s always a little too neat and uniform for me, and on the runway I like my fashion to be risky. This could almost be the sophisticated mother to a Tommy Hilfiger collection and whilst that’s something I would probably wear if I wanted to look put together, it’s not what you get excited to see at fashion week. Primary colours all together aren’t where it’s at for me either, the infamous colour scheme of the cheap plastic playhouses you’d find in the garden of every working/middle class British household back in the day. Yes, I had one. So did the after school club I was forced to attend whilst my mum was at work. Apparently the negative connotations are still too much for me (a boy I went to the after school club with did once fall off the back of one and crack his head open so maybe it’s justified).

Isabel Marant was pretty much exactly what you’d expect from Isabel Marant; if the Etro bohemian woman is one who rolls out of bed and chucks on the first thing she sees, the Isabel Marant bohemian woman is the one who claims she’s done the same thing but who actually planned it all out the night before. She designs for the gluten-free, bikram yoga Kourtney Kardashian style “hippy” who claims to be a free-spirit but would definitely not do acid with you. I was gonna say it was a collection for the Gwyneth Paltrows of the world but then I remembered Gwyneth proudly released a candle she claimed smelled like her vagina and changed my mind-she’d definitely do acid with you.

It’s definitely a cohesive transition from the summer collection; both have that seemingly laid-back, clean-cut vibe, and cater to the rich, impeccably groomed scented candle loving woman everywhere. Obviously the pieces are a tad more suited to an alpine lodge in Switzerland than a beach in Malibu this time round, but that same mild colour palette, pretty, naturalistic patterns, and generally relaxed fit persists. It’s cute enough.

J.W Anderson is a bit of an enigma.

Despite the experimental silhouettes and the kooky details that you think would very “look at me!”, the collections still seem to have a chilled, easy-going feel to them. They toy about with the strange but remain entirely sophisticated whilst doing so-I think it’s because aside from the little quirks that make the garments J.W Anderson, they’re otherwise fairly reserved and simple; even the quirks themselves mostly tend to be exaggerated, more conceptual takes on more typical stylistic motifs anyway. Anderson has a knack for producing statement pieces that don’t look like they’re trying too hard to be statement pieces, a talent he expertly deploys at Loewe as well. Whilst Maison Margiela collections are like the fashion equivalent of that Jughead “I’m weird, I’m a weirdo” speech, J.W Anderson’s refusal to conform is quiet and modest. I like it. It’s not generally my personal style but I can admire the thought behind the work, and there are still some things I’d love to try. I have a few standouts-the shoes with the hoop detailing dancing from the ankle straps, the dress on the bottom right with what appears to be art nouveau typography on, the trench coat with the cape detailing and the gossamer dress to its right are all stunning, especially that dress. If I ever want to dress as the bubble Glinda the Good Witch descends in when she meets Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz, I know where to go, though I don’t suppose there’s going to be an occasion that calls for that any time soon. Can I just have the dress anyway?

Kim Shui is another new designer I found through blessed Twitter screencaps-thanks guys for doing my research for me. Much appreciated.

But anyways! Like Charlotte Knowles, it’s clear she’s still establishing her aesthetic as a designer, and thus far I love it. The whimsical, throwback prints on urban silhouettes that range from the androgynous suits of city dwelling cool girls to the amped-up sex appeal of nightclub dresses is gorgeous, especially twinned with dainty headscarfs and opera gloves-all in all I think this a very cool and wearable collection and I’m looking forward to the next collection she puts out.

Next up is Lacoste, and IDK why I always include their collections to be honest, considering they’re not really known for “high fashion”. I guess it’s because my dad has collected Lacoste shirts since I was little so I kinda have a soft spot for it and feel obligated to include it every time presentation season comes around. Yes, the outfits are unbearably preppy and the colours are garish but I feel like that’s kind of the appeal? So what if some of the tracksuits look like they could’ve been pulled out of a bad mafia movie? I see the argyle jumpers, with a bit of wear and tear, as a charity shop gem my sister would come across (she has the #Y2K Depop girl knack for finding old designer pieces in the shittiest charity shops without the audacity to try and sell them at a 70% markup) that I would then steal from her wardrobe to wear myself, contrasted with a ripped mini skirt, chains and and docs. I see the POTENTIAL of a look that is very fuck you to the rich middle age tory styling we see here. It’s punk, okay?

Lanvin was STUNNING this time around. Maybe it’s because I’ve been watching Mad Men recently and it reminds me of the fashion on that-which I hope somebody won an award for at the time BTW, it is SO fucking good-but I just adore every look here. I can’t even remember if I reviewed Lanvin’s SS20 show, and so clearly if I did it wasn’t that memorable (no shade intended), however this collection is a different story. Every single one of these outfits is iconic movie moment worthy, a 60s Cher Horowitz plaid two piece equivalent that would get screencapped and replicated ad-nauseam, all the best looks of Betty Draper and Peggy Olsen and Joan Holloway and Megan Calvet brought together and refined for the modern day woman. I might even consider sacrificing my anti-royalist principles if it meant I could transport myself back in time and switch bodies with Grace Kelly so I could make this collection my princess-off-duty wardrobe and drive around Monaco in that Bella Hadid look, roof down, all the drama of the fur trim and the gloves and hair whipping about in the wind (but in this unrealistic vision I can actually see what I’m doing and I’m not choking on random strands and swearing at Mother Nature as if she is a real entity with a personal vendetta against me).

Loewe! More J.W Anderson! I’m gonna try not to repeat myself by arsekissing too much all over again and get the good points out of the way quickly! So rapid fire: elegant! Delicious colour palette! Interesting shapes! I think I’m seeing a Victorian/Edwardian influence there! Correct me if I’m wrong! I like it! The coats are strong! Remind me of the suffragettes! But lets pretend in this case these Loewe style coat wearing suffragettes are not raging classists!

AH. Apart from that, it was a bit too austere for me. I definitely preferred Anderson’s eponymous collection; there were a fair few recurring details in this show that I couldn’t get behind that I didn’t include, in particular this bib-like black panel that just kept popping up on everything. Sorry J.W Anderson. But a 50% success rate is still good! And at the end of the day, having 2 collections on Vogue Runway at once is more prestigious than the accumulative total of every accomplishment I’ll probably ever have achieved in my life by the time I’m on my deathbed so what do I know anyway? Sigh:( At least I’ll always have the honour of having the largest head by circumference of my class in year 4, right *sweats nervously*!?!?!

Louis Vuitton was definitely a downgrade on last season for me. There were for sure elements I liked-the Vera Wang-esuqe mixing of the tulle bustle skirts with the rougher, more masculine biker inspired vests and jackets was a cool choice, reminiscent of Gucci’s mixing of the lace dresses with harnesses. I enjoyed the baroque jackets and subtle nods to steampunk style too. Though we’ve already seen it a lot this season, the wet look coat with fur trim I can’t help falling in love with, and I’m immune to the potential ugliness of the muted blue monotone look purely on the basis I can picture Ripley from Alien in it. So like I said-it’s not as if I hated it. I guess when it comes down to it, the collection wasn’t bad so much as I just had higher hopes. I will say though, the staging was INCREDIBLE. As a history nerd, I never thought I’d see the day when a Henry the 8th lookalike actor was part of the backdrop of a Paris fashion week show-and I always thought there was no interesting career path for me in the subject!

And another big name I don’t tend to be so partial to, Maison Margiela. IDK, I did like last season but I wasn’t a fan of haute couture and it took me a while to warm to this. Call it deconstructed, experimental, whatever, but you know when you can’t decide what to wear and you’re in a rush so you kinda just throw all the shit you decided against into a pile? Well, my initial thought was that this season Margiela is kinda that, on the runway.

I will say, once I let go of my need to see a clear shape, a lot of the individual pieces were stunning (NOT the puffed up tabis though, I still can’t even get behind the regular ones). I guess I just wish they’d go for less is more with the styling because as it currently stands, it makes it hard to actually take the clothes in.

Ultimately, one thing you can always say about Margiela, like their clothes or not, is that it has a monopoly on being effortlessly bold.

Marc Jacobs I really liked again, though I will say it doesn’t stand out quite like the S/S collection did. That was absolutely STUNNING-I can’t remember specifically where I ranked it in my top ten but I know it was at least in the top 5. This, on the other hand, is...pretty. It’s very pretty, and very put together, so I’m not saying at all that I don’t rate it. I suppose it’s just a lot simpler than I expected it to be-I don’t have a problem with simplicity, at all, especially if it’s what a brand is known for but I feel like part of the appeal with Marc Jacobs is that it’s pretty kooky. I mean, not Thom Browne or Margiela kooky, but commercial kooky at least. I feel like the kookiness is lacking here? And that’s where this feeling is coming from? And also, the fact that Lanvin tackled the same era and did it a lot better? So there’s that, too. Plus, I adore Miley Cyrus but...why? Random celebrities waking the runway just doesn’t do it for me-it always comes across as a publicity grab, as if the designer isn’t confident enough in their collection’s ability to get people talking on its own, and I suppose in this case that says it all really.

Margaret Howell was...well, Margaret Howell. She’s known for her basics, and they’re always pretty non-offensive “regulation hottie” in the words of the icon that is Damian from Mean Girls. It’s been, what, four years? More? Since I last watched that film but I’m pretty sure watching it about twenty times between the ages of 9 and 15 tattooed it on my brain. I include her because even though they don’t get my pulse racing, I like these pieces; considering the fact that expecting straight white men to ever have style on the level of barbiedrugz (his instagram is my favourite thing ever) or Rickey Thompson is ludicrous, Margaret Howell’s menswear looks are probably are the best, realistic goal for any future partner. Because I like my men dressed like Paddington bear/a depressed Brown University English lit lecturer, okay? Or in other words, Will Graham from Hannibal.

Marine Serre had a few good moments-the looks that I liked were the ones that stayed within her lane of blending the weird with the visually appealing. There were a lot of cool things going on, and I like the utility vibe (the boot with the pouch detailing and the mask are perfect examples of this done well), but outside the fits I picked out a lot of it went over my head tbh.

Marques Almeida is a show I was looking forward to-it has such a youthful, experimental quality to its collections (it’s no surprise the designers said they were influenced by the HBO show Euphoria this year!), similar to Central Saint Martins, and you can tell the designers (Marta Marques and Paulo Almeida) are based in London too; we are talking about the birthplace of the punk fashion movement, and as a designer it’s probably almost a rite of passage that you incorporate elements of that into your work. Marques Almeida does that with a flair and consistency you can count on. Their clothes don’t have the wildest silhouettes or anything like that but the fun they have playing around with print and colour and the ease and confidence with which they settle on those combinations always comes through-the black and white coat with the yellow furs trim is one of my favourite pieces from the entirety of this season’s offerings.

I wasn’t so fond of Max Mara’s SS20 collection and I'm not gonna lie, this isn’t THAT much of a step up for me personally. It’s just one of those brands I feel obligated to include because it’s talked about quite a bit but I’m not totally sure if it’s for me. Too monotone, but I’ll give it another season! And I mean, there is a slight improvement here-this collection is a lot more laid back than the stiff, austere feel of the last, and there are some very well fitted and structured pieces. A lot of the looks kinda remind me of a 2020, fashion take on The Breakfast Club’s “Basket Case”, which is kinda cool, and just from looking at the clothes, the high price tag is palpable. Also, scruffy hair club unite! Though obviously it’s intentional here! That’ll be my excuse for the next time I turn up at work looking like I’ve been dragged through a hedge backwards-Max Mara made me do it.

Ending on those words of wisdom, I’m gonna bring this post to a close, because I can’t fit any more photos in! I’m desperately hoping that I can fit this all into 3 parts like I did with my last RTW review but even if I do have to make 4 posts, I still include my top 10 shows as I did before. I hope to get that post up within the next couple of weeks! After that, I’ve shot a Lana Del Rey inspired by each of her different albums and “era”s though given last week’s events I’m on the fence about whether to post it or not, especially given her silence over the last couple of days. I’m really proud of what I’ve put together and I’ll always love her art and music (I have 2 bloody tattoos, for fuck’s sake!), so I’m trying to think how I can reconcile that with those awfully worded posts and just the general lack of awareness of bigger issues that she’s displayed the last week. JFC, being a Lana stan has always been so chilled up until now. All the very valid and important takes aside, that “Lana pls delete that post and apologise, we can’t fight the barbz all your stans are depressed” tweet is the only good thing to come out of this shitshow. He got a point. Breathing feels like effort lately:( IDK, if you’re also a Lana stan and you have any opinions on the matter, feel free to DM me, because I’m feeling pretty conflicted rn.

Most importantly though, are the issues I opened this post by talking about, and I thought I’d finish by including the thread of petitions I saw on Twitter. Like I said, a lot of them aren’t available to sign in the UK but to anyone who read up until this point (thank you!) idk where you’re reading from so maybe some of them will apply to you:

https://twitter.com/yericvIt/status/1265801832930045953

Also, while we’re at it, because every tory voting twat seems to treat our country as if it’s some beacon of hope where racism is non-existent and love to tell PoC to stop moaning about their experiences, here’s a thread of black British men and women who have lost their lives to police violence:

https://twitter.com/illh0eminati/status/1266441604170223617

Thank you for reading until the end. I hope that you enjoyed the fashion part of the post but also that if you did read this far, you read the other bits too if you didn’t know what was going on already. It seems like everyone does but you forget that Twitter’s a bit of an echo chamber and that outside of it, there’s a lot of ignorance, whether intentional or not. I know Tumblr has a similar audience to Twitter so I imagine there’s loads on here about everything going on too, but ya know. I wanted to talk about it just incase.

Stay safe, keep fighting the good fight, and again, thank you for reading!<3

Lauren x

5 notes · View notes

theonewiththefanfics · 6 years

Text

A Pirate’s Soul (part 2)

Part 1

Pairing: Will Turner x Avenger!Reader

Warnings: swearing

Genre: fluff

Word count: 2987

Y/N slowly felt her eyes flutter open. It was dark, but not full on. Not like Bucky’s room where he had to cover up the giant windows because he had trouble sleeping. More like her own. Bits and pieces of the never-resting New-York city filtering inside the room, beige walls cast in an orange glow. But of course, she wasn’t in New York anymore. With a groan, Y/N propped herself up on her elbows, but a gentle palm pushed her back on the hard surface that turned out to be what looked like a sailor’s cot. “Easy,” it was the girl- Elizabeth. “How are you feeling?” “Like a red-hot poker was showed up through my ass and my brain, scrambling it like an egg.” The other woman snorted. “Don’t you have a way with words.” Y/N pressed a palm against a throbbing temple. “So I’ve been told.” She looked around noting that the light was coming from above, meaning the sun was still above the ground. “How long was I out?” “A couple of hours. Cleaned as many wounds as I could, but couldn’t change your clothes. Couldn’t find how to… open it.” Her brown eyes roamed over Y/N’s tactical suit as if a hidden hook would suddenly appear and she’d drop naked then and there. “Would be surprised if you did.” When were zippers invented? 1890’s something? Y/N honestly didn’t know what to do. Will her being here change the outcome of the history? Or was it one of those timelines when nothing mattered what she’d do because everything had already happened before? In all honesty, Y/N couldn’t give two shits about it because of a headache she sported right now.

Her palm clasped around where her neckline was and she pulled back a piece of cloth, the velcro detaching itself as she unclasped a smaller piece that held a large string attached to the zipper on her back. It made it easier for her to get dressed on her own, as well as she didn’t have to worry about flashing someone in the middle of a battle. Elizabeth’s cheeks heated up and when Y/N saw how flustered she got, even though there wasn’t that big of a difference between one woman’s body and another, the Avenger still offered her the chance to leave. “But I’m not naked underneath that and I would prefer if you stayed. This thing can be a bitch to take off.” And it was. Any time after a mission she asked either Bucky or Nat or hell, even Sam to help her get rid of it. Bucky being her best friend, they didn’t have any reservations before one another. Even then, when Bucky had forcefully pulled off the last leg of her suit, the material still just as snug and light, courtesy of Stark, Y/N was left in a bulletproof sports bra, a bulletproof tank top and booty shorts. “It’s very tight,” Elizabeth remarked as she flexed every muscle in her arms, abdomen and legs to get the cloth off of Y/N. “Meant to protect you while in battle. Nimble as a second skin so you don’t feel it while fighting, though I might have to ask Stark for some improvements in the removal section.” Y/N finally took a breath as she felt the ankles loosen and saw Elizabeth holding the shredded material. Looking down there were no visible injuries on her stomach, but her legs, shoulders and arms sported nasty cuts as well as deep gashes from claws. “What.. umm.. what do you want me to do with this?” the girl looked over at the Y/H/C beauty. Y/N’s heart clenched. She really had loved the suit. It had been a gift from Nat on her birthday, but the state of it, how it looked now- it’d be completely useless. There was no point in stitching it together, thread by thread. “Burn it. Throw it out. It doesn’t matter. It’s unusable now.” “A-Are you sure?” “Yeah,” Y/N let out a deep sight, “it’s pointless.” Elizabeth’s hands slid over the material, marvelling at how beautiful and practical it was. Or used to be in Y/N’s opinion. But unbeknownst to her, she stashed it in a chest in a deep corner. Y/N stood there in what basically was her underwear. She pulled the black tank top off, leaving her in just the sports bra, so she could check what damage had been done to the dark material. Thankfully not much. Some slashes, but comparing it to the tactical suit, it was still wearable. Pulling it back on, her Y/E/C eyes saw Elizabeth reemerge from the dark holding a large white shirt, some sand coloured pants, black knee-high boots and what looked like a corset. “These are probably way too big for you, but the belt should keep it in place, you can lace it up in the back to tighten it,” the girl laid the materials down on the cot. “And the boots… well, you should just try pulling them on and well see about the size.” Y/N fingered the cotton tunic. It was a lot softer than she expected, woven with care and love. Pulling it overhead, there was a deep V-neck gash, almost past her breasts, and it really was way too big for her frame, so she pushed her legs through the pant holes and tucked the shirt in. Elizabeth handed a smaller belt to pull it through the belt holes, but as the girl had predicted, the clothes were still too large for her frame. She stepped through the corset-like thing and pulled it over her slacks and the shirt. Elizabeth went to work, lacing the black ribbon up, but not so tightly that Y/N couldn’t breathe and would pass out from the lack of oxygen. While the other woman was doing that the Avenger was idly playing with the two strings of her shirt, wrapping and unwrapping it around her finger. “Okay, you’re all done. Now just the boots.” Y/N had completely forgotten that the combat suit had connected footwear, so she was standing there only in her socks. The boots looked around her size, so here was hoping for nothing. And it would look like they had struck gold. Y/N was surprised how comfortable they actually were, but she rolled down the bit that went past her knee, hating how it flapped against her thigh. “I… umm..,” Elizabeth stepped forward holding six razor-sharp knives in her hand as well as Y/N’s own modified pistol, “I guess I have to give these back to you, though I have no idea what kind of holsters I can give to you…” Her knife and gun belts had been physically attached to the suit, rather than pulling them on, they were already a part of the outfit, so there would be no use for her to cut them off as they wouldn’t fit with what Y/N was wearing now. She flipped two of her knives in the air and crisscrossed them behind the belt on her back, putting two by her sides and then two in the front, the thin handles disappearing being the black material, not even making an indent. If you didn’t know that Y/N possessed them, you’d never know how armed she actually was. And the bulletproof top would protect her from any cuts that may result. For the gun though, that would be a problem. “Umm… hmm… Give me the most basic holster you have and we'll see what we can do. The one Elizabeth provided was for a muzzleloader. In Y/N’s time, they were antiques and relics. Here they were actual weapons. The girl looked at it from all sides and producing one of the knives she sliced the end off making it more like a cylinder rather than a cone. Putting on the safety she gently slid the gun to check if the tightness of the leather would be enough and it was. The gun snugly fit into the holster as if it was made for it. Y/N strapped it across her middle, even though she usually preferred it to be around her thighs or ankles, this one wouldn’t fit. Elizabeth’s eyes roamed over Y/N as if in astonishment and in awe. She really looked like she belonged there. “I think you’re ready.” “For what?” “To meet everyone. I’m assuming you really aren’t from somewhere nearby.” Y/N snorted at that. “If only you had any idea.” “So I’m assuming you’re going to be spending quite a lot of time here, seeing as we’re only in the middle of our journey and the closest port is at least two to three weeks away. Depending on what kind of trouble Jack gets into.” “Jack? Who’s Jack?” “Nothing but trouble,” she replied over her shoulder as she lead Y/N up the wooden stairs and right onto the deck. The ship was full of life, men running around and pulling ropes to let something loose or tighten things up. Of course, as expected when Y/N stepped onto the floor everything quieted down and stopped moving, but a man’s gruff voice pulled them out of the trance. “Back to work, ya filthy rats!” It was dreadlocks who bellowed from the steering deck. “I would presume that is Jack,” Y/N leaned into Elizabeth, but the other woman didn’t get a chance to answer. “You would be presuming correctly. Captain Jack Sparrow,” he said coming down the steps and taking one of Y/N’s palms to press a kiss on it, making the girl scrunch up her face in confusion. “Welcome aboard the Black Pearl- fastest ship in the Caribbean sea.” “Thanks… I guess…” “So darling,” he threw an arm around Y/N’s shoulders leading her up the deck, “why don’t you tell me who you are, where are you from and how in the bloody hell did you suddenly appear on my ship?” He was being quite cheeky about things so Y/N decided to play along. “A girl’s gotta have some secrets, otherwise where would be the fun?” “You,” he pointed a finger at her, a bright red ruby sitting on it. “I like you.” Y/N mirrored the smirk that was plastered on his face. “So, where exactly in the Caribbean sea are we? As much as I’ve enjoyed your hospitality I think I need to get back home.” “And where would home be for you, love?” “New York.” Y/N looked over at the endless horizon. Oh, how far away she was from home. And it would seem like Jack could read minds, echoing her thought. There was almost an understanding look in his eyes. “You’ve travelled a long way from there, haven't you?” “Very,” Y/N let out a deep sight, resting her arms on the railing. “Elizabeth told me that the closest port is a two, three-week journey. Which port exactly are we talking about?” “Tortuga,” a wicked smile made its way onto Jack’s face. “Best place on earth for a pirate.” Y/N could only chuckle, not even remotely surprised that they were pirates. Their clothing gave it away and the giant black flag with a skull and two crossed swords was a dead giveaway. The girl relished in the salty breeze of the sea. She’d always wanted to visit exotic places, but her job had made it quite difficult to get even a day off. And then there was Bucky. Her best friend in the whole world. He was just getting accustomed to living in the tower and apart from Steve, he clung to the girl like a koala. Not that Y/N minded. She’d gotten attached to the ex-assassin too and if there was any possible way she could help with his recovery she’d drop everything in a heartbeat. “Doll, you need to take a day off, treat yourself. I hate that you can’t do anything worthwhile because you’re stuck here with me,” he’d said to the girl after an intense workout session. “Buck,” she had grasped his unshaven chin between her fingers, “you can’t get rid of me. Me staying here is my and only my choice. And if it means having to sit through therapy with you or have a few sleepless nights, then that is it. As long as you’re getting better, it’s all that matters to me and if I have any way of helping you through it, I will. So don’t start with this bullshit, okay?” He’d only smiled and kissed the girl on the cheek, pulling her in for a tight hug. “I love you, you know that?” “Might have said it a few times.” What wouldn’t the girl give just to feel safe between her friend's arms, instead of being stuck in the past on a pirate ship. Her Y/E/C eyes caught movement to her left and ascending the stairs was the man with the longish hair. The one with the chocolate eyes and sharp cheekbones. Will. “Hello.” His voice was quiet. Like a warm summer breeze. “Hello.” Y/N replied a small smile playing on her lips as she turned fully to face the man. “I’m Will Turner.” “Y/N Y/L/N.” “That’s a very beautiful name.” Y/N laughed, shaking her head, the Y/H/C floating around in the breeze. “It’s just a name.” “A very beautiful one at that.” Of course, these were the manners men had in this time period. Back home whenever a guy said something like that or gave a kiss on the top of a girl’s hand, that was more a message of ‘I wanna get in your pants tonight and I’ll pretend not to be an asshole for like two minutes, tell you how pretty your name is and how it perfectly fits you, before I ask you to drop your panties and go for a fuck’. But here, now, it’s just how people were, and Y/N would be lying if she said she didn’t appreciate that. The only two people who even remotely said something like that and didn’t mean it in an ‘I wanna fuck you’ kind of way was Steve and Bucky. Even then both of them were from the 40s. “Well thank you,” she smiled looking at Will. “Got it for my birthday.” She couldn’t help herself. Such an opportunity to say that stupid and cheesy joke, she couldn’t just let it pass. He shook his head as is saying ‘I cannot believe how dumb that was’ before coming to stand next to the girl. “Are you alright?” That was a stupid question, but she didn’t say anything. “What do you mean?” “Well after that… thing you put in the water, your nose was bleeding quite heavily and you did pass out.” Her headache had subsided a few minutes after hitting the deck, fresh air filling her lungs, now just a dull pulsating feeling reminded her of the situation she was in only a few hours ago. “Yeah, I am. Thank you for caching me and not letting me split my head open.” He smiled at her, taking her right hand in his and rubbing over her knuckles. The air got caught in Y/N's throat. How can such a small gesture take away her breath like that? “Anytime.” The pair just stood there, looking at one another, eyes roaming over the stranger before them. There was this attraction that neither could explain, but it wasn’t bad. No, not at all. Their moment was disrupted by the lanky man with a wooden eye, rushing up to Jack. “Captain! Redcoats!” Everyone’s heads turned to look where he was pointing over their shoulders. A tiny speck near the horizon, nothing more than that. Jack pulled out a telescope and produced a beautiful array of swears, leaving even Y/N shocked. “Everyone get your weapons!” he bellowed over the ship, sending the men scattering every which way. “Didn’t you say that this is the fastest ship in the Caribbean?” Y/N turned to look at the captain. An idea had crossed her mind that she could ask them to let her on their ship, but she immediately dispelled it. They were the government. And anytime Y/N had gotten involved with that it never ended well for her. Most of the times in handcuffs. So she wasn’t going to get shackled in the 18th fucking century. Who knows what they’d do to her. Salem witch trials had happened probably not more than a few decades before, and her powers, that she could feel rumbling under her skin would definitely make her a witch. “Can you fight?” it was Will asking her, Jack not even bothering to answer her question as he rushed off to somewhere himself. “Did you not see my grand entrance?” “I meant are you well enough to fight?” He was handing her a long sword, probably noting only the gun by her side. Truthfully Y/N probably wasn’t but the adrenaline was already rushing through her veins and the newly unleashed magic wanted to come out and play. She clasped the handle of the sharp weapon. “I was born to do this.”

Tags (crossed out couldn’t be tagged, sorry loves): @fandamad @josislife @madelonj @serieuxnoir @marvel-fanfiction @lostxsea @dschessikai

A/N: tell me what you think :) and tomorrow I won’t be posting anything. Probably there will be no updates for the rest of working days. I’m going to see Imagine Dragons tomorrow and then I’ll focus on my assignments :)

P.S. wanna be tagged in future parts or have any requests? drop a message

P.S.S. please don’t repost without credit :)

307 notes · View notes

sonderei · 6 years

Text

I got bored and answered one of those 100-questions things so if you ever wanted to know a stupid amount of useless information about me read on, otherwise enjoy whatever content is in the next post!

Spotify, SoundCloud, or Pandora? Spotify

is your room messy or clean? my room is a mess, the rest of the apartment is pretty clean

what color are your eyes? brown

do you like your name? why? its grown on me. I used to get teased a lot in school “hey Ariel, where’s your best friend Flounder??” but now I work on Disney property and it’s on my name tag so I get to make a lot of kids (and adults) happy

what is your relationship status? been dating a small mess of a person for 4 years, whom I love dearly

describe your personality in 3 words or less basically a cat

what color hair do you have? brown, or like a really dirty blonde if I spend enough time in the sun

what kind of car do you drive? color? a black 2013 hyundai accent hatchback (named Jazz)

where do you shop? where I shop: target, forever21, H&M, BoxLunch, Garage where I’d LIKE to shop: ModCloth, ASOS

how would you describe your style? I once bought an oversized Polariod windbreaker and I wear it everywhere I can??? I also love passive aggressive crop tops (”no thanks”) I wore it to a mandatory meeting at work at 9am and any time my managers asked me a question I just pointed to my shirt. So idk that should tell you something

favorite social media account I think I enjoy Instagram and Tumblr equally?

what size bed do you have? queen

any siblings? one full brother (5 years younger), one half brother on my dad’s side (13 years younger), and one half sister on my mom’s side (18 years younger).

if you can live anywhere in the world where would it be? why? idk because I haven’t traveled anywhere I’d actually like to live. I love the idea of living northwest US (Seattle, Portland) or in NZ or like Scotland or somewhere with beautiful scenery but like...never been so can’t say for sure?

favorite snapchat filter? flower crown

favorite makeup brand(s) NYX is pretty much all I use but I also do like bare minimum with my makeup

how many times a week do you shower? typically every other day unless I’m super gross

favorite tv show? too hard. Steven Universe, Game of Thrones, A:TLA, and Adventure Time?

shoe size? 7-8 depending on who makes them

how tall are you? smol. Like 5′3″ or so?

sandals or sneakers? sneakers, unless going somewhere involving water and/or sand

do you go to the gym? nah. I’m up and down stairs at least 20 times a day, usually while carrying stuff. that’s my exercise.

describe your dream date sitting in front of the Ocean Voyager exhibit at the Georgia Aquarium all day. like literally that’s it. and my date lets me without asking to move on, and ideally enjoys it as much as I do.

how much money do you have in your wallet at the moment? uhhh like $25 because that’s how much you have to have to open a new bank account which I’ve been meaning to do for like two weeks now

what color socks are you wearing? not wearing any, but I was wearing shark socks all day

how many pillows do you sleep with? just one, super soft and squishy

do you have a job? what do you do? I'm a server at a restaurant in Disney Springs at Walt Disney World. Its challenging and often frustrating and stressful but I get to meet some really cool people so it evens out. (Pat Sajak from Wheel of Fortune was in last week, I didn’t ask him if I could buy a vowel because I have some dignity)

how many friends do you have? like true friends, would drop everything for me if I asked them / needed them to? I’d say 3. But my social group is like...maybe 10 people? That I actively try to hang out with semi regularly.

whats the worst thing you have ever done? I honestly don’t even know. I forgot a woman’s ketchup last week at work and apparently I ruined her entire Disney vacation so

whats your favorite candle scent? usually anything with jasmine, so long as it isn’t overpowering

3 favorite boy names Nathaniel, Sebastian, Milo

3 favorite girl names Riley, Maisie, Phoebe

favorite actor? robert downey jr probs

favorite actress? tessa thompson?

who is your celebrity crush? ugh. tom holland, tessa thompson, rdj?

favorite movie? Spirited Away or Howl’s Moving Castle

do you read a lot? whats your favorite book? I used to, before I worked at a bookstore. For some reason that killed my love for reading. But favorite books were the Bartimaeus Trilogy and Abarat.

money or brains? brains

do you have a nickname? what is it? Skip (long story short, its a Cabin Pressure reference because I’ve always wanted to be a pilot)

how many times have you been to the hospital? for myself? 5? maybe 6?

top 10 favorite songs in no particular order Evolve by Phoria Put ‘Em Up by Priority Cleopatra by The Lumineers Feel It Still by Portugal. The Man Miracle by CHVRCHES Dissolve by Absofacto Taro by alt-J Lavender by Two Door Cinema Club Dinosaurs by The Maccabees Ambling Alp by Yeasayer

do you take any medications daily? nope

what is your skin type? (oily, dry, etc) ehh a bit on the oily side

what is your biggest fear? losing the ones I love

how many kids do you want? NONE ZERO NADA ZIP ZILCH FUCK NO

whats your go to hair style? pull it back, messy bun if possible

what type of house do you live in? (big, small, etc) a p small apartment (but not tiny, I think it’s like 800-900 sq ft)

who is your role model? Steve Irwin

what was the last compliment you received? a guest at one of my tables told me I looked like one of the recent Bond girls

what was the last text you sent? bailing on a few friends who were going to Blizzard Beach because I was exhausted from having my dad in town for the last two days so I wanted to sleep

how old were you when you found out santa wasn’t real? like 2 or 3. not very old

what is your dream car? realistic? a nice Subaru or Audi. Maybe a Tesla unrealistic? bugatti veyron

opinion on smoking? cigarettes? ew gross not around me also poor life choices weed? don’t care, just not around me please and thanks my other half is allergic

do you go to college? I did, graduated two years ago, still haven’t done anything with my life / degree

what is your dream job? anything working directly with animals, especially marine mammals, big cats, or non-venomous reptiles

would you rather live in rural areas or the suburbs? big city. right in the middle of it.

do you take shampoo and conditioner bottles from hotels? not usually, I have specific stuff I use for my hair that’s a lot nicer than the stuff at hotels

do you have freckles? not like a ton but yeah

do you smile for pictures? if I feel like it? also depends on who’s taking the picture

how many pictures do you have on your phone? I’d say somewhere in the realm of like 650-800?

have you ever peed in the woods? yep, used to go camping a lot as a kid

do you still watch cartoons? hell yeah, I usually prefer them to anything else. Steven Universe, Adventure Time, Voltron, A:TLA, Foster’s Home for Imaginary Friends...that shit is my jam

do you prefer chicken nuggets from Wendy’s or McDonalds? mmmm Wendys but I usually don’t get c nugs from anywhere

Favorite dipping sauce? chick fil a sauce or ranch

what do you wear to bed? just underwear

have you ever won a spelling bee? no but I came close in middle school

what are your hobbies? not many tbh. I have a few reptiles that I take care of. I collect / trade Disney pins. I love swimming but don’t do it all that often. Uhhh...seeing how many times I can ride Kilamonjaro Safari in a row before the cast members begin to judge me?

can you draw? not really, no

do you play an instrument? nope, I can’t even read music and I can barely hum

what was the last concert you saw? uhhhh...I think Death Cab for Cutie and CHVRCHES?

tea or coffee? tea

Starbucks or Dunkin Donuts? Starbucks for drinks, Dunkin for food (donutssssss)

do you want to get married? yeah, eventually. I told the SO that ideally before I’m 30 and that we’re not having a wedding but we’re gonna elope instead because fuck weddings I don’t have the money for that or the patience to plan it

what is your crush’s first and last initial? not really a crush but more of a “current-and-potentially-forever life partner” but DU

are you going to change your last name when you get married? no idea. D wants to change their last name but idk if they’d take mine or they’d just change it to their middle name and then I’d take that? honestly it doesn’t really matter to me each way so long as I don’t get their current last name (because of bad associations)

what color looks best on you? no idea honestly. I prefer dark, muted blues?

do you miss anyone right now? my parents and siblings, and two of my best friends

do you sleep with your door open or closed? open, otherwise the cats would never let us sleep

do you believe in ghosts? nah, not really. I grew up in a town that had a bunch of history and by extension ghost stories, so it was more a part of “tourist culture” than something that seemed legitimate to me

what is your biggest pet peeve? I never know until someone starts doing it around me. but uhhhh I hate loud chewers, people that refuse to even try to see your side of an argument, and when you’re sitting somewhere in public like on a bench or something and there’s plenty of other empty seating options nearby and yet someone comes up and sits RIGHT NEXT TO YOU nope you know what that’s it I fucking hate that and it happens to me all the time at Disney

last person you called` I think my mom?

favorite ice cream flavor? cookies and cream, unless I’m at one of those places where you can basically make your own flavor in which case I will ALWAYS do a rose-infused ice cream with pistachios

regular oreos or golden oreos? please don’t make me choose

chocolate or rainbow sprinkles? rainbow!

what shirt are you wearing? not wearing one ;)

what is your phone background? just a basic stock photo of some ferns. kinda boring but I like simple backgrounds

are you outgoing or shy? its pretty even but if I had to say one over the other I’m probably slightly more outgoing than I am shy.

do you like it when people play with your hair? only people I know and allow. don’t just come up and start playing with my hair unless you KNOW that I’d be okay with it

do you like your neighbors? haven’t met them! we moved in like a month ago but we still haven’t seen anyone that lives on our floor

do you wash your face? at night? in the morning? if I remember, but honestly I’m really bad about doing it unless I’m in the shower in which case it’s every time I take a shower

have you ever been high? nope

have you ever been drunk? sadly no. I have a ridiculously high natural alcohol tolerance, so I get sick to my stomach before I can even manage tipsy.

last thing you ate? pizzaaaaaaa

favorite lyrics right now idek and that’s a lot of effort so sorry here’s me “free pass” I’m using it on this question next

summer or winter? ugh winter always I can’t stand the heat there’s only so many layers you can take off

day or night? night

dark, milk, or white chocolate? milk or white. milk for straight eating, white for flavoring other things

favorite month? october

what is your zodiac sign leo!

who was the last person you cried in front of? my significant other

#I was bored #fite me #in case anyone ever wanted to know what I do for a living #or what my favorite songs are #or what color my eyes are #now you know

3 notes · View notes

thecoroutfitters · 7 years

Link

Written by John D on The Prepper Journal.

Editor’s Note: This post is another entry in the Prepper Writing Contest from John D. If you have information for Preppers that you would like to share and possibly win a $300 Amazon Gift Card to purchase your own prepping supplies, enter today.

In a SHTF situation where you can’t stay in your own home, and moving in with a friend or relative is not an option, what will you do? If bugging out to the wilderness suddenly becomes your only option, will you survive? Probably not for very long, if you believe the experts. Nevertheless, if your survival plan doesn’t include a bug out to the forest option, it should, but coming up with a good plan might be more difficult that you think.

For starters, do you have a reliable bug out vehicle? If your bug out plan has you escaping the city or suburbs in a modern vehicle, you may be in for an unpleasant surprise. Most modern vehicles won’t survive a strong EMP event. You may find yourself traveling on foot, away from a major metropolitan area, in search of food and water. But at least you won’t be alone. When food and water run out, millions of others will be traveling, mostly on foot, away from large centers of population. Even if you have a working vehicle, it may be useless, due to the gridlock created by people and disabled vehicles, all on the same escape routes. You may avoid some of that if you get away quickly, but will you? How much time will pass before you’re packed, and ready to go? Will the roads already be jammed by the time you depart? As time passes, the situation will get worse. Can you imagine what starving, desperate, people are capable of doing? I’m thinking “zombie apocalypse”.

My Bug-out Plan

Understanding the predicament, I don’t have to look any farther than my garage for a solution. My bug out plan doesn’t depend on a full-size vehicle, but I won’t be bugging out on foot either. I suspect that I wouldn’t last very long, with just the items I can carry on my back. Instead, I’ve decided to use my garden tractor (riding lawn mower), pulling a small trailer. Don’t laugh, it’s more practical than it may seem.

It would probably survive an EMP event.

It can travel off-road, avoiding traffic jams and bypassing bottlenecks.

It can pull a small trailer, loaded with essential supplies.

I can avoid people who may want to harm me, or take what I have.

I’ll have a 360 degree view, helpful for situational awareness, and if I have to use a firearm.

I’ll be able to travel to places inaccessible by car, which in theory will make me more secure.

My getaway will be at a whopping 6 miles per hour, maximum, but it beats walking.

It’s not how fast you bug out, it’s how well you bug out fast

There are drawbacks, of course. I’ll have no shelter from the elements, as I would in a car or truck. My traveling companion will have to ride in the trailer, or walk along side. Perhaps the biggest drawback is that I won’t be able to outrun anyone. For that reason, it’s important to pack and leave quickly, before things get out of hand.

The bug out location I’ve selected is far from the densely populated area where I now live, and is an area that provides opportunities for hunting, fishing, growing crops, and is near a fresh water source. I know what some of you are thinking… A city boy, living in the wilderness, wouldn’t last long. You might be right, but what choice do I have? Since I don’t own a wilderness cabin, or even a camper, how can I best prepare for a situation that forces me to abandon my home? For starters, I’ve compiled a virtual library of information that will be helpful in such a situation. I’ve also purchased some basic survival equipment and supplies. I practice the skills I’ve learned, and I’m a pretty good gardener.

While living in the wild will be a challenge, I first have to arrive there safely. Traveling with a fully loaded trailer screams “Hey look at me! I have food, water, and survival gear!” How do I get to my destination without being robbed or killed? I see two main problems:

Starving, thirsty, desperate people won’t hesitate to attack me and take what I have.

Those already settled in, near my bug out location, won’t appreciate the competition for limited resources.

To make matters worse, the noise of the tractor will announce my presence. In either case, one bullet could ruin my day.

Bugging out is risky, but I’m thinking of a scenario where I have no choice. I’ll improve my odds somewhat by getting away quickly, before anarchy is commonplace. To do that, all of my things need to be organized, and ready to toss into the trailer. This includes items that are protected from EMP’s. The list that I’ve already prepared helps to make sure that I don’t forget anything.

As I travel, I expect to cross paths with others who are also bugging out. The majority of the people I encounter will be just like me, trying to survive. Many of them will be traveling on-foot, with very limited supplies. My survival odds will improve if I join a like-minded group of travelers, or convince others to travel with me. I’ll bring extra food to share. Travelling with a well-fed and motivated group should help to keep the criminal element away. I’m not trying to be a group leader, or a macho tough-guy, but just one of the many people fleeing an area that has become unsafe. Being armed, and avoiding likely trouble spots, will also help.

With luck, I’ll make it to my bug out spot, probably with a number of other people who’ll soon become my neighbors. As I settle in, I’ll begin to implement a plan that might be described as “Living in the Wilderness, but Not Wilderness Living”. After food and water, my top priority will be the construction of a substantial shelter. As Pat Henry put it “your tent offers zero protection from a sharp stick, much less bullets.” I’ll use modern tools and technology to deal with challenges that come with living in the wild. I’ll have lights when and where I need them, and I’ll use sensors to alert me to intruders, and garden pests. Some of the pests that would otherwise be a threat to my garden, will become food, if I can kill or capture them. My garden tractor-trailer combination will continue to be an asset, as long as gasoline is available. I’ll be able to haul whatever useful items I can find, including building materials, firewood, and water. It’s likely that some of my traveling companions will become the nucleus of a survival group, and the benefits of belonging to a group are many. One could be hunting or fishing, while another guards the supplies and equipment. One could be on the lookout for intruders, while another prepares food, or tends to a garden. One could sleep, while another stands guard. Portable two-way radio equipment, as well as low-tech devices, such as whistles, may be used to alert group members to emerging threats.

Plano 1919 Sportsman’s Trunk

My trailer is approximately 48” by 30”. If stacked 30” high, I’ll have about 25 square feet of cargo space. My supplies will be covered with a tarp, protected from rain and wind. My supplies will be similar to those mentioned in a recent TPJ article by Pat Henry. Pat suggests using 3 plastic containers. One is for food, another for shelter, and the third for cooking, cleaning, hygiene, health, and miscellaneous supplies. Those containers account for about 15 square feet, and mine will be similar, leaving me with at least 10 additional square feet. Because I’m thinking long-term survival, I’ll pack clothes and bedding for all weather conditions. I’ll use the additional space for items that will help me survive in the long-run. Included will be the components of a small solar electric system that can be easily reassembled at my destination. I’ll have lights, and a variety of electrical devices that can be powered by the solar electric system. Sensitive electrical items are pre-packed, wrapped in aluminum foil and insulated from each other, which is the equivalent of a Faraday Cage. The ability to use power tools will make construction of a shelter much easier.

Because of the trailer’s small size, I look for ways to conserve precious space. I won’t bring bulky items, like table lamps. Instead, I’ve assembled small and simple light fixtures. I won’t bring a pedestal fan, or even a tabletop fan. Instead, I’ll use small muffin fans, similar to those you find in computers. I’ll mount them on frames, made from pvc tubing, that can be disassembled, saving space when packing. I’ll make good use of paracord, rope, and plastic sheeting. I need not carry books, and volumes of survival literature, because all of those things have been scanned, and stored on a KindleFire. Likewise, carrying a large quantity of water is not practical. I don’t have space for large containers. Instead, I’ll pack several collapsible water containers. I won’t bring a propane stove, or even a charcoal grill, but I will bring a grill top. I’ll assemble a fire pit with stones that I’ll find at my bug out location, and finish it off with the grill top. I’ll pack my cast iron Dutch oven, overlooking my concern for weight, just this one time. Once settled in, my tractor-trailer’s ability to haul things contributes to my bartering opportunities.

The bug out location I’ve selected will be a 7 to 8 hour trip by garden tractor. I have to make sure I have enough gasoline, but my preliminary estimates indicate that I can make it with just the capacity of a full tank, and a full 2 ½ gallon container. I’ll also carry a tube for siphoning, in the event I’ll need to do that. I’ll be carrying a shovel and an axe, helpful if I get stuck or need to clear a path, and very useful when I’ve settled in at my bug out location.

I’ll have the ability to collect and store rainwater. I’ll be prepared to filter water, and boil it, making it safe for drinking. My bug out supplies will include heirloom and hybrid seeds for food crops. Traveling light is an important consideration, and for that reason I’ve created a separate list of items to acquire, once I’m settled in at my bug out location. For the most part, those additional items will make life more comfortable, but are not essential for survival.

Once I’ve settled in at my bug out destination, my first priority will be a sustainable source of food. I’ll start a garden of course, but I’ll need to have other food while I’m waiting for my crops to mature. My bug out supplies include a live trap for small animals, but it is safe to assume that others will quickly decimate local population of rabbits, squirrels, and other edible creatures. My bug out location is near a large lake, and I suspect that I’ll be able to catch fish.

I’ve used Pat Henry’s food list as a starting point, but modified it to reflect my own tastes and preferences. In an effort to avoid bland meals, I’ll pack items such as olive oil, spices, sauces, flour, and corn meal. My list for shelter is similar to Pat’s, but I’ve added an air mattress for additional comfort. I’ll have construction tools, and plan to make tent-living a very temporary arrangement. My list for cooking, cleaning, and hygiene is different from Pat’s list, because I put more emphasis on long-term survival. While I will pack items such as soap and dish detergent, I’ll place a high priority on reusable items, such as wash cloths and towels. Instead of a propane stove, I’ll pack a rocket-stove, and reusable cooking supplies. I’ll have a solar-heated camp shower, wash basins, and collapsible containers for water. I’ll have a good first-aid kit, a variety of medicine, alcohol, bug spray, toilet paper, and other items for health and hygiene. One container, perhaps a backpack, will be for items that need to be easily and quickly accessible. Items in this container will include a flashlight, weapons, maps, a compass, binoculars, cash, a lighter, a KindleFire, snacks, a pocket knife, basic tools, and a rain parka.

My “electronics” box will include all of the components for a small solar electric system, except the solar panels and batteries. It will include test equipment, extension cords, power strips, lights and light fixtures, fans, portable alarms, an AM/FM radio, and a GPS device.

Items that will be packed separately include tools, solar panels (mounted on a hinged aluminum framework), batteries (for the solar electric system), weapons and ammo, live trap, gasoline container, tackle box with fishing supplies, shovel, ax, rake, grill top, and a jump starter (includes tire pump and light). I’ll have the tools and supplies needed to make repairs to the tractor and trailer tires.

After I’ve set up camp I’ll be on the lookout for anything that might be useful, such as a propane stove with a full propane tank, table and chairs, buckets, tools, food and water. If I can find them, I’ll increase my stockpile of disposable items, such as paper towels, zip-lock bags, trash bags, aluminum foil, toilet paper, soap, dish detergent, laundry detergent, insect repellent, toothpaste, shaving cream, alcohol, and other items for health and hygiene. I’ll also stock up on firewood and tinder.

Perhaps the most important item I hope to acquire after I’ve settled in, is an energy-efficient chest freezer. In the event that I have success hunting, fishing, trapping, or growing crops, the freezer will provide an easy way to preserve food. Not needing to find and process food everyday will give me opportunities to rest, and attend to other aspects of survival. The smallest of the chest freezers on the market today are very energy-efficient, meaning that they can be powered by a small off-grid solar electric system. According to the energy-guide tag, 600 watt-hours per day is required for a 5 cubic foot chest freezer. I can get that much power with just 2- 100 watt solar panels, and 2 – 100ah batteries. My system will be a little larger than that, to accommodate the other things needing power, and for extended periods of cloud cover.

Cold Weather Considerations:

Where I live, the months of December through February can include some very cold and nasty weather. Extreme weather may force me to deal with the danger, and postpone bugging out. I may instead choose to make my home as secure as possible, and prepare to defend it. Those traveling through my neighborhood would also be susceptible to extreme weather, perhaps giving me a bit of an advantage. If I’ve already bugged out, and set up camp in advance of cold weather, preparing to survive cold conditions will be a high priority. This includes the construction of a substantial shelter, and a way to provide heat.

The Long Run:

In the event that federal and state government no longer exist, law and order will be maintained at a local level, by an assembly of the people of that area. A protective force can be created, and guard duties shared. Efficiency can be realized in areas such as food production and cooking. Those with special skills will be highly revered, and will serve the entire community. Bartering will be commonplace.

I don’t expect my wilderness life to last more than a couple of years. In a serious SHTF situation, many people will die off from lack of food, or simply from the inability to survive without the conveniences we take for granted today. If that happens, there will be plenty of empty homes to move into. I would choose one with a fenced back yard, to help protect my food source. Most of my food will come from my garden, and perhaps some fish, chicken and rabbit.

Summary:

If I can’t safely stay in my own home, which is at the edge of a big city, or move in with someone else, far from a densely populated area, moving to the forest may be my only option. I need to be ready to bug out quickly and travel safely. I’ll need to bring the appropriate equipment and supplies. And finally, I need to be able to survive wilderness living. I’ll have to depend upon my hunting, trapping, fishing, and gardening skills. My prepping includes the equipment and knowledge to do those things. I don’t expect it to be easy. The competition for limited resources will be fierce, and not everyone will be honest and ethical. Still, I plan for a comfort level far exceeding that of tent camping. I applaud those who can live in the forest with only a knife and the clothes on their back, but I can’t do that.

Perhaps the best things I have are a list, and a plan. I don’t depend upon a modern vehicle, since impassable roads, or an EMP event, could stop me dead in my tracks. My pack-out list helps to ensure that I’ll bring the essentials, while not being overloaded with items I can do without. My extensive database of information will be useful in the event of a medical emergency, or other unexpected circumstances. Moving quickly, with a destination in mind, might prevent me from becoming a victim of the lawlessness that would likely follow a SHTF situation. Getting to my destination quickly means that I’ll also be able to “scavenge” more quickly than some, and acquire useful stuff before it’s all gone. Banding together with trust-worthy, like-minded others may offer the best odds for survival.

John D

The post Will You Survive If You Have to Bug out to the Forest? appeared first on The Prepper Journal.

from The Prepper Journal Don't forget to visit the store and pick up some gear at The COR Outfitters. How prepared are you for emergencies? #SurvivalFirestarter #SurvivalBugOutBackpack #PrepperSurvivalPack #SHTFGear #SHTFBag

#SHTF #TEOTWAWKI #MARTIALLAW #BUGOUT #PREPPERBAG #USAF #USSOCOM #ARMY #NAVY #SurvivalFirestarter #Sur

1 note · View note

adhdyosafire · 7 years

Photo

it took a fuckin while to draw these but alas here she is. i would have put her basic info DRAWN there 2 but the PAIN of lacking a pentab & using nothing but MOUSE is terrible but u kno ,,,, nya! both canon & variant verse will be explained below B”) just 4give my poor ass drawing skills

basically her full name is kyana fletcher d.(aiki) mellington. she’s a british-japanese ( though she’s lived more in england rather than japan , thus was more used to their culture and language. she has visited her mother’s hometown several times though , but not as often. her accent is ever so slightly similar to bl/izzard’s tra/cer ) . she’s about 23 y/o born on 05/26/19XX , about 6′5″ in height though originally 6′2″. her heels made her taller. fluent in japanese and knows a little bit of french. she’s an IT engineer at mu/rkoff , yet also a web developer/designer and was responsible for several unsolved crimes. she uses a golden revolver to commit these crimes.

she has undiagnosed psychopathy mainly because she rarely gave a shit about her mental health ( and highly doubts that she is sick in the first place , even believes in the contrary that she sees better than anyone else. smth like that. ) .

her character , basically , is the villain in most stories who’s aware that they’re the villain and even lives up to it. think lor/d dom’s i’m the bad guy or sa/l just being the little shit he is. maybe less worse. or worse. you decide. she’s an antagonist and isn’t exactly the nicest girl around.

PRE/BACKSTORY

kyana grew up in a rather wealthy family with parents that loved her so. she’s a spoiled brat to say at the least , since her parents always gave her what she wanted and tried to make reason to her incorrect behavior . in school , she was typically a ‘’queen bee’’ but rarely had any friends despite her intimidating personality. it’s not like she cared too much though , what more she liked being an intimidating figure. needless to say , she grew up in a life that was near to ‘ perfect ‘ but shit hit the fan eventually .

her parents weren’t too young when they gave birth , thus they died of old age when kyana was around her teens. this distressed her , of course , but unlike most was quick to move on. her parents’ wealth was promised to be given to her when she was 18 but was first given to the hands of her aunt whom she moved in with. her aunt didn’t necessarily pay attention to her too much unlike her parents , and kyana wasn’t used to such treatment. she felt neglected for this state of her childhood but tried to not let it bother her too much . she had to move schools too eventually , and therefore lost her ‘popularity’ . she always got into several arguments and refused to be proven wrong even with evidence that she in fact was. her pride was something she never gave up . she eventually learned to become manipulative and put up a personality that was liked by many so her popularity once again increased and just like before , she was loved by many. but she uses this to her advantage to bully/bring down those who’ve disliked her at first , up to the point where they’ve chosen to leave the school / other terrible stuff. she never felt remorse for this however , only pure satisfaction. basically the same shit until she grew up to have a job. college was where she learned to toy with other’s hearts/feelings just for the sake of her amusement/sexual satisfaction for both men and women . her charms/good looks became a heavy advantage for her on this , along with her ability to flirt wisely though all deceived. ‘ falling in love ‘ was never a state kyana felt in her life because she couldn’t care less for romance .

another thing about her personality as she grew up was she despised rules. she did not see the point in them , be it the commandments or laws in general. she has her own belief in where rules always rendered useless because ‘ life’s short , so ‘m gonna do whatever the fuck i wanna do ‘ . she finds it boring to follow such commands like robots being obliged to do tasks they’re programmed to do. this leads her to do some crimes for , again , the sake of her amusement or needs. be it greed for money or wrath / wanting revenge on some prick who’s pissed her off. she’s that petty. she was very power hungry too , which lead her to abandon her catholicism and worship herself instead.

CANON

kyana was still her ever so bitchy self in mount m/assive. of course she fucked with the other employees in more ways than one , and made sure she had a likable figure there as well. though she was aware of how terrible the shit they do in her workplace , it’s not like she could care less because ‘’ helping them nor pitying them would not be my benefit. perhaps , if i did , i’d achieve ‘justice’ as most would say , but it’s still an equivalence to golden rings to me. they’re both useless to me , hun. ‘’ so she continues on with her work. the variants always piqued her interest though , and so ‘’playing’’ with them didn’t seem bad aka she wouldn’t really mind taking a trip inside the asylum herself ( AND BOY OH BOY WAS SHE WRONG )

another thing she liked doing though was purely teasing with everyone else. think constantly bullying wa/ylon despite his size/timidness/reluctance to go ‘’rebel’’ with her ( and truthfully she does pity those who liked to follow rules , saying that they’re missing one hell of a life and just hopelessly becoming slaves to some dumb text printed on some paper ) . she would literally cross the boundaries and even tease her boss as well since she didn’t enjoy being ‘bossed’ around or having someone more dominant/powerful than she is. ( lit tho she’d place a gun against his head n threaten him all she was n 5 seconds later lol bitch it’s a watergun i cant BELIEVE u peed urself!! )

VARIANT

in which her dream becomes true. this one’s still pretty much a huge wip but she generally takes the same path as wa/ylon , except she was either thrown in there w/o having to go to the morphogenic engine for either 1) angering jere/my and him just wantin 2 get petty revenge idk 2) kyana wasn’t mentally healthy in the first place and her little ‘gun’ incident made them throw her there , god im so unsure or 3) her just. getting in. bc why not. ( i was supposed 2 add abt her following after way’s paths but that’s a WHOLE DIFF STORY OOPS )

she unfortunately gets in unarmed though and loses her gun in the process. though she’s (thicc) physically capable of handling herself , her combat skills were not as great w/o the usage of weapons. thus in the path of meeting fra/nk she unfortunately gets her left breast cut off ( bc it was ‘’’meaty’’’ and thus more delicious yum YUM ) and manages to escape him . she’s slightly TERRIFIED at this point but not as much. the other variants didn’t matter to her nor did they have a large effect on her , what more they annoyed her with their stares/w/e im too lazy to explain it at this moment it’d be pretty obvious since she was a female wandering in the male ward

much like both protagonists , traveling around the asylum made her sanity DROP further than it already was originally. it’s basically the same or at least ALMOST the same torture as wa/ylon went through ( in which i’ll talk about in a more detailed way #soon(tm) ) . the gown , obviously , came from ed/die in attempts of making her into one of his brides ( and since she was presumbably the first female he’s come across with he’d be glad to finally found someone who was already PHYSICALLY acceptable for him so all he did was shove her in that damn dress ) but at this point she’s already snapped . she’d play for a while , but moments later had fought back and eventually killing the other inmate in the process , but not without saying ‘ thanks for the dress though , darlin~ ‘ in the process of murder. much like her previous criminal acts , she found slaughter amusing and p much did it to the other variants she’d come across w/ and called it an act of ‘mercy’ since it was so much better to die than let murkoff use them for experiments. think chris’ except his intentions were more linked to the wal/rider , in where kyana talked about the entire asylum in general.

the guts were a faux flowercrown . since she still had to look pretty even in a godforsaken place , which should hint/show her VERY obvious narcissism .

she has either stayed in the asylum as a wandering female variant in the male ward or if we’re following/making her path in the whistl/eblower story , she’d end up killing even jerem/y rather than miles’ wa/lrider doing it. same w/ waylo/n but AGAIN , that’s a different story(tm) that i’ll post abt soon

ONCE AGAIN NON FILTER FOR PROPER COLORS...

#outlast oc #kyana #blood /#gore /#THIS TOOK A WHILE IM TIRED #i'll edit it soon if i see any mistakes jfc #long post /#my art #death /#idk what else to tag this ahh !!#she's problematic af that's it

2 notes · View notes

douchebagbrainwaves · 5 years

Text

WORK ETHIC AND EYEBROWS

I've seen feeding frenzies both form and fall apart many times, and as users buy more stuff the search results get better and better. Now, how could that be? You smile and say pleased to meet you when they have no intention of funding you, just to pick your brain for a competitor. That's why Julius Caesar thought thin men so dangerous. So if you want to take money from, if you read the dictator's speech it sounds uncannily like a prophecy of the App Store is full of half-baked applications. I was in Africa last year and saw a lot of money from a deal, it's not surprising that we've found the relative prestige of different colleges useless in judging individuals. But again, the only reason VCs are the way they want.

Hard as it is to get lots of users. At Viaweb now Yahoo Store, we raised some eyebrows among VCs and potential acquirers by using Lisp. A round to a startup we'd seed funded. They're all what hackers call suits. Investors are rich enough to be rational and prefer the latter. I think it would be used to express Lisp programs in practice. And curiously enough, taking rejection less personally may help you to get rejected less often. If that's what's on the other side by VCs who'd invested at high valuations, leaving an IPO as the only way I can imagine an advocate of best practices saying these ought to be considered from the start by their ambivalence about being a technology company making money that way. Advertisers were willing to fund teams of MBAs who planned to outsource their product development—which to my mind is actually a lot riskier than investing in a pair of really smart 18 year olds?

Perhaps the best policy is to make something people use. Most high school students applying to college do it with the usual sort of job. The main reason was how much we liked the founders. Humans also seem designed to work in groups of a certain size new hires are actually a net lose. To launch a taboo, a group has to be invested by 10 partners, they have to take less equity to do it with no indication of whether you're succeeding. It was the people they hired. These are basically mass referrals. He seemed to want the job more. We can't do that, but we can do something almost as good. This essay is derived from a talk at AngelConf. And they will.1 Fred Brooks described this phenomenon in his famous book The Selling of the President 1968, Nixon knew he had less charisma than Humphrey, and thus simply refused to debate him on TV.

Fundraising is still terribly distracting for startups. This is understandable with angels; they invest on a smaller scale and don't like to have too much money tied up in any one deal. I recommend being good. Six weeks is fast. Is it? These conventions weren't designed to drag out the funding process, but that's why they're allowed to persist. Of course, prestige isn't the main reason VCs like splitting deals is the fear of looking bad. Having to retrofit internationalization or scalability is a pain, certainly. Whereas Marc Andreessen says he'd back ok founders in a bad one. Saying pleased to meet you, whether you like it or not.

Sometimes a small lead can grow into the yes half of a binary choice.2 05 million, and you don't take investment, then competitors who do will have an advantage over you. Whereas someone clearer-eyed would see their initial incompetence for what it was, and perhaps also to the limited partners—the people whose money they invest—and also to founders who might come to them for funding. Odds are you just think whatever you're told. Slashdot, for example, is generated by Perl. If you're trying to solve a given problem. But they're looking for a way out.3 Which is exactly how I'd describe the way lions seem in the wild is that each person gets freedom of action in inverse proportion to the size of your investment till it's an amount you wouldn't care too much about losing. And just as there is nothing so unfashionable as the last, discarded fashion, there is something wrong with you if you don't think things you don't dare say out loud. Suppose we could somehow feed these reporters false information about market closes, but give them all the time. The main reason was how much we liked the founders.4 It's not your boss's fault.

More likely they'll want you to hold out for 100. They get the pick of all the new deals. These two trees have been converging ever since. Many if not most of the other, safer group. But they work as if it were like getting into college. But they usually let the initial meetings stretch out over a couple weeks. There are, of course. You can attack labels with meta-labels: labels that refer to the use of labels to prevent discussion. Meanwhile the iPhone is selling better than ever. In the fall of 1983, the professor in one of my most valuable memories is how lame Facebook sounded to me when I first heard about it. When I walked into the Apple store in Cambridge, it was over by the time I got there in 1998. It means the probability of a startup making it really big is microscopically small, but they want to do.5

It doesn't matter if they underestimate you because of some surface imperfection, because the practice is now quite common. They may be smart, it's not a switch to Apple, but a mundane, internal one: not getting enough done. In the sciences, especially, it's a great advantage to be able to pick winners. If valuations change depending on the amount invested, that shows how far they are from reflecting any kind of value of the company. In the matter of dirty words. The fashion for the name Gary began when the actor Frank Cooper adopted the name of a tough mill town in Indiana. I run a seed stage investment firm called Y Combinator. That would not be fun. We weren't sure at the time. The investors would not infrequently collude to push down the valuation. Mediocre hires hurt you twice: they get less done, but they are not likely to make anyone mad.

That's not a radical idea, by the way; it's the main difference between children and adults. Incubators were conspicuous failures during the Bubble, it's not their chances of succeeding seem small. Of course, we're not just looking for things we can't say. They may be surprised how well it ends up doing.6 It reminds you that there is an ongoing struggle between the pointy-haired boss doesn't want to open it. Not at all: I was delighted. Even a company with 100 employees and one with 10,000, whichever is greater. But VCs also share deals a lot.

Notes

So much better that it had no natural immunity to messianic figures, just as on a wall is art. There is no longer written in C and Perl. Unfortunately the payload can consist of dealing with the administration.

I'm not dissing these people. And while this is: we currently filter at the mercy of circumstances in the sense that there are none in San Francisco. The way universities teach students how to do. We once put up with much food.

Download programs to encourage startups, which wouldn't even exist anymore. By heavy-duty security I mean that if you want to either.

The markets seem to someone in 1500 looking at the mercy of investors. Http://www. Google's site. Once someone has said fail, most of the mail by Anton van Straaten on semantic compression.

You have to follow redirects, and their hands thus tended to make money from it, this paragraph is sales 101. But if so, you can't or don't want to see the old car they had no choice but to fail to mention a few years.

But it takes more than the valuation of hard work.

#automatically generated text #Markov chains #Paul Graham #Python #Patrick Mooney #sense #Download #store

0 notes

synescape · 6 years

Text

It’s been a while since I’ve written a solid DIY guide. It’s tough to follow up on the wildly popular DIY Wool Dreads; to this day my most retweeted, linked and shared post. Fake hair truly is luff.

Supposing you’ve now completed the finger-scalding, hair pulling ritual that is developing your fake mane, it’s time to tend to those hard working hands.

Afterall, what’s a kitty cat without her claws?

And so I give you this new guide to full gel nail tip extension manicures, complete with step by step instructions and links to all the products and supplies you need to stock your own mini home salon.

This guide is fairly lengthy so I’ve broken it down into four steps. You can quick jump from here to help you navigate:

Step 1: Precautions

Step 2: Materials

Step 3: Process

Step 4: Care

Let’s begin:

Step 1: Caution – Wet Nails Ahead

I’m going to start this article with the same disclaimer I had on wool dreads: this is an arduous, time consuming process.

One does not simply do nails.

Sure, there is risk of injury (although not much, I’ve deliberately exclude pointy objects from this toolkit), risk of infection if tools are not properly sanitized, and of course the ever lurking risk of pulling out your hair in frustration – thereby ruining both your wool dreads and your fledgling nail tips.

There’s a reason nail techs spend many hours and pay hefty tuition fees to learn this skill. It ain’t easy, and even given saintly amounts of patience, you will not be churning out competition grade nails on your first try.

That said, I believe the DIY experience makes you truly appreciate a craft.

I like to think what I’m giving you here is not only the instructions and tools you need for the job, but a renewed respect and understanding for why professionals charge the rates they do.

So like with fake hair, if you want perfect, quick results HIRE A PRO.

If you’re stubborn as a mule and fabulous as a unicorn however, move on to the materials portion.

Step 2: Resource Gathering

Gel nail extension tips are pretty high up on the scale of complexity. If your idea of hand TLC is chewing a millimetre off your nails, this is not a good starting place.

However for the mani-curious (oh yeah, there’s gonna be a tonne of terrible puns here), I suggest following this guide to acquire the basic supplies you need for everything from a quick polish change to full extensions.

So without further ado, here’s your shopping list:

UV nail lamp – $4 – $13

Gel nail brush set – $1

Nail file – $1

Nail buffer – $1

Nail cutter (optional) – $1.50

Nail tips – $1

Nail glue – $1

UV nail builder gel – $3

UV gel top and base coat – $2

UV gel colour (optional) – $1

Nail decorations (optional) – $1

Nail polish remover

Isopropyl alcohol

Total damage: about 25 bucks, free shipping

I bought all of my supplies on eBay, and filtered by the cheapest option. Yes quality matters, but we are not enlisting in the nail olympics just yet.

If this is your first attempt, buy in small quantities, and buy cheap. You may hate the process, and you will probably screw up a few times so why waste platinum product. The only downside to ordering online is the 4-6 weeks it takes for the stuff to arrive from China.

Let’s dissect that shopping list a little further:

Material breakdown

The formula to nail extensions is actually very simple: clean nails, glue on tips, slather on builder gel, cook under UV light and polish.

The first thing you should invest in is the UV nail lamp.

I kid you not, this is now my most used appliance, second only to my kale-smashing blender.

When I don’t spend hours doing a full manicure, I can bake on a layer on coloured polish in 60 seconds and walk out the door. Why anybody still buys traditional nail varnish is a mystery to me. I mean, do you people like being useless for 60 minutes while nails dry??

There are two types of lamps out there: UV bulb and LED.

Bulb based lamps are typically larger, which means you can fit your whole paw inside. The bulbs are modular and can be replaced. UV bulb lamps however take longer to cure your polish (we’re talking 2 mins vs. 60 secs on LED). They’re also clunky and fragile to transport.

I am personally in team LED because uh hello welcome to the 21st century. LED lamps range from table sized two-hand models, to something the size of a flashlight that you can stick in your pocket for field repairs. LED lamps are also typically USB based which means you can bus power them from your laptop, or plug ’em into a wall with your phone adapter (6-10W).

This is my lamp, it smushes to palm size and weighs less than my watch. The other model I featured above (and factored into the total material cost) is a bit larger, sturdier and was obviously selected because it looks like a freakin’ panda.

I don’t advise a bulb lamp, but meh — whatever you get your hands on will do.

Up next, a bunch of handy tools to have around the house:

Builder gel application brushes

You really only need one, but they come in packs for a buck so no harm in having extras. The same brushes can be used for drawing on designs. I prefer using the smallest of the set for more control. The brushes come with protective caps, keep these safe because getting any fibres or pet hair on the bristles is a death sentence for the brush.

Nail files

These also come in packs for 99 cents. You’re looking for something fairly harsh like the 100/180 grit pictured here. These are for shaping your gel nails only not for your real nails – they will do a lot of damage to those, so DO NOT mix them into your regular manicure kit

Buffers

I wear these out more often than the files, so it’s good they also come in packs of several for a single, glorious dollar. Buffers have four grit layers, typically for filing, removing hard edges, smoothing and polishing. The final step has a rubbery finish that gives your nails squeaky gloss. These are also safe to use on natural nails, but sparingly – I’m not in favour of thinning out your keratin layers for any reason.

Manicure clippers (optional)

A good ol’ pair of nail clippers will also do the job making these optional, but for $1.30 why not have them in your kit? The advantage is the blade matches the curvature of plastic tips and because there is no torque when cutting, the nails are less likely to crack. It’s literally impossible to injure yourself with these, and since cutting acrylic is awful for blades, it’s worth investing in some so you don’t ruin your natural nail clippers.

Now for the main show:

Nail tips

Tips come in multiples of 500 and are bagged by sizes. Your thumbs range from a 1-3, whereas the most discerning pinkies are an 8-10. The most common two types of tips are full and half well, illustrated above. I typically use half wells when my natural nails are long, and full wells when my nails are short to give me more surface area to glue. Tips are usually clear or pearl white, but they also come in every colour imaginable so the underside of your nail matches (or contrasts) your polish. Note that colourful tips are thicker plastic and harder to work with, as are stilettos, and the myriad of other shapes you can buy.

Glue

Crappier (and cheaper) than average superglue. Does not heat on contact, but will still bond instantly so avoid nose picking while handling.

Builder gel

This is the principal substance of your fake nail. Builder gels usually come in clear, white and transparent pink, but every colour and texture exists (built in sparkles, holographic gels etc). The strength and application of your gel determines the durability of your nails. Quality matters, but that said for your first attempt, buy cheap and experiment. The brand above is reasonably good, and being on the inexpensive side you won’t cry about it when a pot gets contaminated with feline fuzz or goes stale from light exposure. If you’re looking for the good stuff however, IBD Gel is the golden standard.

And for the finishing touches:

Base & top coat sandwich your polish to keep the application smooth, make it last longer and give it a shine. If you only buy one, get the top coat because it has the gloss finish (or matte if you prefer). They typically come in pairs however and may also include a primer. The primer is for natural nails, to remove oils and make the gel polish adhere better.

Gel polish comes in every colour, texture and style imaginable. Matte, magnetic, mirror finish, mood changing, you have endless choices! Just make sure it’s UV gel that cures with a standard lamp.

Deco is optional and comes in millions of styles. Metallic cutouts, crystals, pearls, striping tape, stamps, transfers, foils – just go ahead and search for “nail art” and be prepared to lose an evening. I have a shoebox full of these and they can also be used as body decoration with a touch of eyelash glue.

Not included in my total materials bill is isopropyl alcohol and nail polish remover (not acetone!), I’m assuming you have these around the house. You will also need some paper towel, the coarser the material the better – cotton pads and soft tissues leave a fuzzy residue which makes your application more difficult.

Last but not least, find yourself a nice container you can use for brush cleaning. I commandeered an old spice jar for this purpose and put about 1cm of nail polish remover in it.

Step 3 – Application Process

Now for the fun part! Wooooo!!

NB. I’m illustrating this guide with pictures I took myself, maneuvering the camera with my knees and pressing the trigger with my nose tip. So you’re welcome, that was way harder than doing the actual nails.

I also pulled out my old materials to match the tools listed above and demonstrate the results – sorry I’m an IBD girl now, once you go pro-gel it’s hard to go back. I chose a neutral finish to keep this simple, but in truth doing flat, light colours is the hardest thing imaginable. Designs can easily mask mistakes, and glitter builder gels or dark polishes are far more forgiving to imperfections and the perennial ambient fuzz sticking to your nails.

Let’s get started:

Clear a surface.

I mean seriously, clear it! Make space, lay out all your tools for quick access. Assuming you’re doing this on yourself, it’s hard to stop in the middle to fetch a tool you forgot.

I also prefer working on surfaces that are wood or metal, or at any rate a hard material that is completely free of dust.

Lock away your pets, DND your phone, and download the Chrome extension that disabled Netflix pauses (free lifehax, follow my blog k?). Like in my DIY dreads post, I’m giving you fair warning this is a lengthy process and it requires even more careful attention that rolling wool snausages.

To give you a benchmark, your average nail tech takes an hour for a full set of extensions. It takes me about three hours for extra fancy nails and I’ve done this dozens of times. For you? Lol. Make sure you’re sitting comfortably.

Next, wash your hands with an antibacterial soap and dry.

Match five nail tips from your kit to your nail size and set them aside ordered.

Chances are your nail beds aren’t identical on both hands, so do this one paw at a time. They won’t fit perfectly, so err in favour of larger rather than smaller. You’ll be cutting and filing them down anyway, and too small a nail tip introduces potential break points.

Using a stamp of paper towel dipped in alcohol, clean the surface of each nail thoroughly. Removing oils and soap deposits ensures the gel application is flawless. I like to start by doing the nails on my dominant hand – it’s a little clumsy, but good practice, and it makes the second half of the process when you’re getting tired (and cranky) a lot easier.

Holding the edges, apply a drop of glue to the well of every nail tip, and slosh it around so it fills the space. Feel free to shake off any excess, just be careful it doesn’t land on something you care about.

Then one by one apply even and firm pressure, bonding the well to your nail. If you’re using full wells, aim for the halfway point of your nail, giving yourself a solid base. With half-well tips use the shape of your nail to guide the semi-circle. In either case, I like to make sure the nail tip adheres to a portion of the nail firmly rooted in the flesh, rather than a floating natural nail tip. This ensures more structural resistance, and as your nails grow out, you’re less likely to have an awkward and painful break.

You’ll notice in my photos that I’m doing both hands at once. That’s ’cause I’m a boss. Don’t try that on your first run. Be patient and take one mitten at a time.

Snip nails to desired length. You are not shaping them now, although if you’re going for pointy nails, you can clip the corners into the shape as a preamble. As a rule of thumbs (*snicker*) square nails are strongest, but if the itty-bitty finger shovel look ain’t your thing, you can later round your corners slightly or go for an oval look. Stilettos require quite a bit of length and are extremely fragile.

I strongly recommend going shorter, especially if you’re new to extensions. Believe me, in the first few days of having your nails, you’ll be bonking into things like a kitten with clipped whiskers. The easiest way to accommodate longer talons is to grow into them.

Regardless of whether you use full or half well extensions, you will notice there is a bit of a ridge where the plastic nail is glued down. Using your gritty nail file gently smooth the transition with a few quick swipes. Do not over-file. You don’t want to thin the nail tip, or your natural nail surface too much.

Roughing up the surface of your natural nail and the plastic tip makes it easier for the first gel layer to adhere. It does however damage your natural nails – you are literally shaving the top layers – so do it sparingly and don’t try to perfectly sand the entire nail bed. Mind your cuticles, they’re suffering enough through this process.

Check out this reference photo to give you an idea of the intended result:

Left hand filed and shaped, right hand un-filed

Time to paint!

Make sure your lamp is plugged in, your brushes cleaned, your little tube of nail polish remover at the ready and your gel builder is unsealed.

This is the part that requires the most care and patience.

Using your brush, pick up a very small amount of gel builder and place it in the centre of your nail bed just below the tip well edge. Wipe the excess gel off your brush on the edge of the container, and then slowly brush the drop of gel down, to a millimetre away from your cuticle, and then up towards your tip. Use very little pressure. Then smooth it to the left and right nail edge, avoiding contact with the cuticle.

The gel is very thick compared to a nail polish, but you want to apply it in very thin layers. This allows for better control to avoid slopping it on your cuticles. Aim for less coverage with your initial layers and reinforce the centre of your nail before expanding to full edge filling.

Cook under the UV light for 60 seconds. Most lamps have timers which automatically shut off. There’s no harm in baking twice, especially with the initial layers to make sure the gel is completely cured.

As the gel cooks, it leaves a sticky residue on the nail surface. Do not touch or wipe the nail between layers. The residue helps bond additional layers.

Depending on the size of your lamp you may be able to cook your whole hand at once. Since mine is the tiny portable variety, I like to do both my thumbs first, then the four fingers. It also helps to set the lamp on a mirror or a white surface so the light gets reflected for even coverage. The gel need direct UV exposure, so if your thumbs are twisted while doing the whole hand, it won’t cure properly.

Add thin layers of the gel builder gradually, baking after each application. Focus on filling the base of your nail to smooth the ridge of the well, and taper towards the tip of the nail. When you reach the tip of the nail, use your brush to smooth the gel under the tip edge, to form a complete seal around it.

I usually do 4-5 coats of gel builder. The key is thin coats, you want the result to be an even, smooth layer that is still slightly flexible so your nails don’t snap when you inevitably hit them against something. Look at your nails in profile as you’re building them up to make sure you’re not getting a bubble or any funny dips on the surface.

When you’re done with the gel, drop your brush in the nail polish remover container and slosh it around, then wipe down with a paper towel and cap it.

Once you’re satisfied with the coverage of your gel layers, use your coarse file to sand them down. Focus on tip corners and edges more than the middle section to blend the acrylic to the edge of your nail. Make sure the builder hasn’t bled and formed a hard edge on your cuticles. You have one chance to file these down now, but be careful and don’t over-file as it ruins the structural integrity of the nail.

Depending on the colour of your builder gel and nail tips, the well edge may still be visible. Sanding down, and then using the buffer sponges in four steps to smooth the nail will give it a flat white, matte appearance.

If you did the process one hand at a time, at this point you should repeat the steps on your other hand. In this sand-blasted form, your nails are sturdy and ready for polish.

Once you’re done buffing your other paw, wash your hands thoroughly with soap. Using a small paper towel pad dipped in alcohol, clean the surface of the nail to remove any leftover soap, skin oils, or the goopy gel residue.

Work one hand at a time again. The clear layers and colour bottles come with standard nail polish applicators, but you can also use your cleaned gel applicator brush too.

Apply base to alcohol wiped nails. Cook. Apply your desired polish colour. Bake. You may want a few coats of polish; for example my nude gloss colour took four thin layers. Apply top coat. Cure with UV light again.

Repeat on other hand, making sure you wipe your nails before beginning in case they accidentally touched fuzz or oils. When applying the top coat to nail tips, make sure to carry it slightly under the tip to form a seal.

If you want to glue gems, freehand designs or decorate your nail in any other way, now is the time to do it. Just make sure you top coat everything to seal it in place.

When you’re all done, wash your hands with soap again.

Then baste your cuticles with a heavy duty moisturizer – they’ve suffered enough for one day. You can also treat them with essential oils, but avoid soaking them for too long so your natural nail doesn’t soften and damage the new tips.

And that’s it, you’re done!

Time to flaunt your new talons.

Step 4: Care

How long do nail tips usually last?

Hard to say. It’s a fine balance between your klutz-coefficient, the rate at which your nails grow, and your attention span for a colour or style.

Assuming you don’t break any of them, you can sand down the polish layer, and fill in the outgrown area with new gel builder, refinishing the nails. In theory, you could do this forever, shortening the nails along the way as they get unruly.

Keeping extensions for long periods of time however is very unhealthy for your nails. The gel seal does not allow them to breathe, and bacteria can also accumulate under the tips.

Therefore, I don’t recommend keeping the same set of extensions for more than a month at a time. Likewise, I also advise against consecutive sets of extensions. Give your nails a chance to heal between applications.

Field repairs

I got into the habit of keeping an itty-bitty tube of superglue in my wallet for emergency fixes. I was instantly popular with the office fashionistas who were walking around with suspicious bandaids on their finger tips.

A drop of glue will seal a break in a hurry, and if the damage isn’t too extensive, a quick sanding, a new coat of builder and fresh polish will restore the nail painlessly.

If you’re travelling you can make yourself a mini kit of a portable UV lamp (note there are flashlight sized models), a mini builder gel pot, a brush, file and a colour/top coat.

Other types of damage

If you improperly applied the builder gel, if it’s been exposed to the sun or otherwise expired, you likely won’t get breaks, but an entire nail may peel off. This is very damaging to the natural nail since your tips are bonded to your nail. If you notice the separation starting (usually from a cuticle edge), use the removal procedure below to safely take it off and build a new nail.

Avoid soaking your hands for too long (ie. saunas, hot tubs, long showers). Your natural nails soften and become more flexible with temperature and humidity, but your gel nail tips do not, so you may get a peel/break.

Avoid harsh chemicals, corrosive soaps etc. and moisturize your cuticles often, applying cream to the skin not the nail surface. Use a dry brush to clean under the nails.

Removal

Well, that’s a whole other chapter – and I sincerely recommend looking it up carefully before attempting.

DO NOT under any circumstances crack or peel the nails off.

Sand the top layer of the nail as best as you can without reaching your natural layers. Then soak in a bath of nail polish remover, or tape cotton balls dipped in the stuff to your nail until the remaining gel shell softens.

You can also use tips like these for the soak, although I personally found them very cumbersome:

Use a hard plastic stick to gently scrape off the remaining goop. Trim the nails, avoid filing while weakened from the chemicals.

After the ordeal, soak your nails in every moisturizing-tears-of-unicorn-emulsion you can find to restore their pH level and keep them from flaking.

Comments questions?

Post below and I will do my best to advise you.

I am not a trained nail tech, like most of my skill sets I learned this stuff off youtube and cursory google searches. That said I’ve had some practice at it by now and I’m happy to share my experiences.

Feel free to ask for advice on where to source materials as well, I have dozens of resources bookmarked.

Good luck!

DIY guide to gel nail extensions, complete with materials, step by step instructions and other resources. It's been a while since I've written a solid DIY guide. It's tough to follow up on the wildly popular

#diy gel nail extensions #diy manicure #diy nails #do your own gel nails #do your own nails #gel nail extensions #gel nails #make your own nails #manicure #nail extensions #uv gel #uv nail #uv polish

0 notes