#/and still/ he imagined his mom rejecting his sexuality at first

[steebharringt0n]

knocked up - part II

summary: two pink lines and a town in ruins - steve harrington knew this wasn't a safe place for you, he's on a mission to find a place that is. warnings: sexual themes, she/her pronouns, female anatomy, language, mentions of death, pregnancy pairing: steve harrington x fem!reader author's note: remember when i said this would be three parts? i lied, it's going to be four lmao thanks for your patience! enjoy! tag list: @sheisjoeschateau @ali-r3n

part I | part II

The water dripping in your bathroom faucet echoed loudly as it splashed beneath the sink. Your right leg twitched uncontrollably as you sat on the toilet seat, palms smoothing out your jeans as you waited for the timer.

It was pointless, you already knew. A blood test at your job confirmed it but still, your mind was in denial. Freshly out of high school and pregnant with the baby of the first guy you meet in your new town. It was pathetic, it was mortifying, it was almost embarrassing. Telling your parents was one thing, but telling Steve? You weren’t sure how that was going to go. 

Sure he seemed great with kids but did he actually want kids? Would he want to get married and settle down?

Would he even want this baby? 

The shrill ringing of the timer brought you out of your thoughts. You lifted your head up from your hands, face red and splotchy from the tears that cascaded down your face. You pulled yourself up from the seat and walked towards the sink, you ran a hand through your hair and took a deep breath. With trembling hands you picked up the test, another 2 bright pink lines faced you, almost mocking you.

You let out another sob from your mouth, placing down the pregnancy test you glanced at yourself in the mirror. Your eyes scanned all across your body, imagining just how much it was going to change within the next few months. Your chest was going to get bigger, no doubt, you were already starting to feel sore and tender. Your hands then moved down to your stomach, resting your palms flat against the fabric of your shirt.

A warmth bloomed beneath you, you closed your eyes and just felt the beat of your heart pump through you, not just you but the little seed that had begun to grow. You let a shaky exhale out, trying to calm yourself down before planning out your next moves. 

You knew Steve would be calling you in a few hours, but you needed a moment, well more like the whole night to rethink and reevaluate your entire life. 

So when your mom’s knuckles came tapping on your door, phone in hand, you shoo’d her away.

“It’s your friend Steve on the phone”

You’re curled up on your bed, hugging your pillow, your face smushed within your sheets. 

“I’m not feeling well tell him I’ll call him later”

You heard your moms voice echo back your exact words to Steve over the phone, she then shuffled away from your door, her footsteps echoing in the background.

Right now you just wanted the world to stay still, to stop rotating until you got your head on straight, but as you glanced over to the clock on your nightstand you knew time was wasting away and he would have to know sooner or later. 

—

Robin hated the opening shift.

For one she had to wake up at an ungodly hour and on a Saturday no less. Second, she had to work with Keith and his cheese stained hands and his god awful flirting with women who were way beyond his league. If she thought Steve’s flirting was bad then Keith’s was somewhere down in hell. 

Steve had begged her to switch shifts. It’d been two days since he last heard from you. He had stopped by your work and found out that you had taken the rest of the week off. He'd been a mess for the last days after you kept rejecting his calls. His mind was running a million miles per minute, thinking about the worst possible scenario. His plan was to go over to your house in the morning, catch you early, to make sure you were okay, and that specifically you and him were okay. 

You two weren’t official just yet but Steve had plans on asking you to be his girlfriend this past Friday.  He had a whole night planned out. He was going to take you out, make it all real fancy and romantic. Then take you out for ice cream, drive to the quarry and ask you then after. He even made a playlist for the night, he’d been looking forward to it all week and then, his plans all went astray. 

After his breakup with Nancy, he had become a little paranoid, a little anxious when girls would blow him off. Was it something that he did? Something he said? Did he have bad breath? Was he not charming enough? All these questions floated around in his head and it was eating away at him. After having your heart absolutely crushed by your first love you keep a bit of those scars, and fears, within you.

After hearing him whine all night long Robin reluctantly agreed to switch.

“Robin I swear I’ll make it up to you” he promised her.

She rolls her eyes as she finishes sorting through the video returns. 

“Yeah, yeah” she waves him off.

However, as Robin was getting Family Video ready for the day she spotted a figure lingering outside of the store. She narrows her eyes towards the front of the store, trying to get a better look at the person. They’re here way too early on a Saturday she thinks to herself. 

But as the person continues to pace back and forth in front of the store she finally gets a good look at the person and she realizes, it’s you. 

“What the hell …” she mutters to herself. 

She walks towards the front and unlocks the door. She pokes her head out,

“Hey … Steve’s not here, he … “ she stops right in her tracks when she realizes that you’ve been crying. Your face is puffy and red, hair slightly disheveled and you’re still in your PJs. Robin fully comes out of the store now, a concerned look now etched across her face. 

“Hey Robin, do you know where he is? I - I need to talk to him” you quietly say. You give her a watery smile to try to quell her nerves.

“Are you okay? Did he hurt you? I swear to god I will rip his nuts off - “

“No no no! Robin, he’s been great, he’s been wonderful” you pause to take a breath, your morning plan had suddenly gone astray and now you were racking your brain to figure out what to do next. 

“But you’re crying, something’s wrong …” Robin trails off.

You reach down and grab Robin’s hand, more for comfort than anything. “Robin, can we talk inside?” You ask her.

Robin is taken aback by your action. But by the look of your face something serious is happening and Steve is involved. Robin nods and takes you inside the store.

“Keith I’m taking my 15 minutes now” she states to Keith as she walks past him in the front. 

“Hey hey, she can’t go back there! Employees only!” He exclaims as Robin takes you to the back break room. 

“Girl problems! Suck it up Keith!” She shouts back to him as she pulls you inside and shuts the door. 

She pulls out a chair for you to sit and she grabs one and sits right across from you. She leans down towards you, her blue eyes bore into yours as she holds your hands. 

“Alright, spill”

You give yourself a second to catch your breath, but the moment your breath becomes steady, tears begin to prick the corner of your eyes. Your heart starts to beat heavily and Robin can feel how clammy your palms are. In the softest voice you tell her,

“Robin I’m pregnant”

Robin leans back in her seat, blue eyes wide and blank. She feels as if her world has been shifted, completely tilted on its side. 

“Oh shit”

You sniff, “yeah, oh shit”

Her best friend was going to be a dad and by the looks of it he still didn’t know. A million thoughts start running through her head, she knows how much Steve liked this girl, hell he wouldn’t shut up about her since he met her. 

But now they were going to be parents and she’s not sure how to react. She gets up from her seat and starts pacing,

“Did you tell Steve yet?” She asks. 

“No, that’s why I was coming here. I - I finally got the courage to tell him.”

“What about your parents?”

Your head shakes, “it’d be best if they don’t know”

They didn’t need to know, they were dealing with too much. 

Robin nods but she’s starting to feel a little overwhelmed, “Okay, okay, this is fine. Steve’s going to be a dad, Steve Harrington, dingus extraordinaire is going to be a father, a - and I’m going to be an Aunt! Wait, no, I’m not his sister, but they’ll most likely call me Aunt Robin -  “

“Robin”

“ - but wait, do I want to be called Aunt Robin? What if they want to call me Aunty Robin? Or Aunt Robs - “

“Robin”

“ - you know what? It’s fine they can call me whatever they want - “

“ROBIN”

You shoot up from your seat to grab the panicking blonde by the shoulders. Her eyes are blank but wide, as if every single thought in her head was now concerned you, Steve and baby Harrington. 

“I’m sorry my brain malfunctioned” Robin says, her face clearly frazzled.

“I need you here with me Robin, focus on the bigger issue. Steve” you say his name with such an ache in your voice. You take your arms off her shoulders and sit back down, exhaling a shaky deep breath. You stare ahead, as if in a daze, 

“Do you think he’s home?” You quietly ask her.

“Most likely. He hasn’t been sleeping too much”

You look up at Robin who still has a stunned look on her face, 

“I’m gonna go, I - I need to go” you mutter.

“Wait! Do you need me to come with you? Ya know, moral support?” Robin offers. 

You shake your head, already walking toward the break room door. “No, this is something I have to do by myself”

Robin watches you disappear behind the break room door. She lets out a large breath of air that she’d been holding in. 

You swiftly walk past Keith and out the glass door and make your way back home. You were lucky that Family Video was just a couple blocks from your house, it gave you time to think about how to tell Steve. You wrapped your arms around yourself, eyes glued to the ground, completely focused on your blue slippers. 

“Hey Steve, guess what, I’m pregnant! Ugh, no, that sounds stupid, hey Steve, remember the one and only time we had sex? Well, I’m pregnant! Okay well that just sounds even worse …” you continued talking to yourself, one to pass the time and to mentally prepare yourself for this conversation. The conversation in your head ends as soon as you notice the maroon BMW sitting in your driveway. 

You watch as Steve climbs out of the car, also in his pjs, his usual well coiffed hair is all a mess. 

“Steve” you call out his name. 

He turns back to look at you and his face relaxes in relief. You both run towards each other, meeting halfway in front of your house. You engulf him in a hug, arms wrapping around his torso. You bury your face in his red sweater, relishing the smell of his scent. His large arms wrap around you, burying his head in your hair. 

But the moment you let him hold you is the moment you break down. Steve feels the way your body stiffens then shakes in sobs, he pulls away, concerned etched all across his face. 

“Hey hey, pretty girl, what's going on? Are you okay?” He questions, eyebrows etched together in concern. 

His hands come up to your face, wiping away your tears. 

“C-can we drive to the quarry?” You ask him.

Steve nods fervently, “Yes, yes of course” 

He ushers you into his car, opening the passenger door and helping you in. He runs to the driver side and jumps in, igniting the engine and peels out of your driveway. Your tears don’t stop in the car as you watch how concerned Steve is, you hated yourself for dragging him into this, but he had to know.

Steve pulls up into the quarry, rocks cracking underneath his tires as he shuts off the engine. You couldn’t even look at him, you feel so ashamed. 

He immediately turns to you, grabbing your hands. 

“Please, tell me, what’s going on? I’ve been so worried, whatever it is - “ he pauses as he sees you shaking your head.

You lick your lips, “Steve you’re going to hate me” you whisper out. 

“What? No I’m not how can I hate yo-“

“Steve I’m pregnant”

Another sob escapes your lips, “a-and I’m sorry for ruining your life, if - if you don’t want this baby I completely understand - “

His brown eyes go wide like saucers and his world goes mute for a second as whatever you say next sounds like nothing is coming out of your mouth. He hears the word sorry, and baby and he has to blink because he feels like his eyes are starting to well with tears. The wind has been knocked out of him and you’re sitting there crying your eyes out but to him you still look beautiful. 

He needs a second to let his brain process this exact moment because he knows it’s a moment he’ll remember forever. 

He lean backs, mouth slightly agape,

“You-you’re pregnant?” He stammers out. 

You avoid his gaze, nodding your head slowly.

“I - I thought you were on birth control?” He questions. 

You scoff, “Steve I think we were a bit caught up in the moment to have a discussion about that”

The car goes silent. 

A father, he’s going to be someone’s father. 

You watch him go through all different kinds of emotions within a span of a minute. You’re trying to read him but it’s hard, but you understand that he needs a couple of minutes to process the news.

“Listen if you don’t want the baby, I can find a clinic and we can -  “

“No”

You freeze, with enough courage you manage to look up at him and you see his lips curl into the smallest smile. He leans towards you and takes your small hands into his large ones. 

“I want to keep the baby” he states, his vision is zeroed in on you. 

“B-but Steve, I don’t wanna ruin your life” you sputter out. 

He knows a child would change his life, but at this point what does he have to lose? He’s always wanted to be a father, maybe this is the fire that he needs to better himself. For you and the baby. 

“You’re not ruining my life…it takes two to tango ya know” he pauses, he then shrugs, “besides, I’ve always wanted to be a dad, I guess I’m just getting a head start”

A new wave of tears start to hit your eyes, you let out a choked sob, giving Steve a watery smile. 

“We’re really doing this Harrington?” 

His small smile curls into a large one, and he starts to feel a little giddy, excited. He responds by grabbing you, slamming his lips onto yours. It’s eager, passionate and full of hope.

He pulls away and rests his forehead on yours. Eyes completely lost in yours. There’s a weight lifted off your shoulder, your body sinks into his touch as it relaxes.

“Well I guess I have to make it official then huh?”

He pulls away, a shy look suddenly takes over his face as he takes your hands into his. 

“I had this whole night planned for us but uh, guess we skipped a few more steps again but will you be my girlfriend?”

You let out a laugh, wiping away the remaining tears away from your face. 

“Of course, yes, a million times yes” you answer, nodding to affirm your answer. A silly grin takes over his face. He grabs your face and slams his lips onto yours, pouring as much love and passion into it. Like a silent promise - I won’t leave you, I won’t ever leave you. 

It has been a whirlwind of a couple of months but in this moment, this situation, it all felt right. Like puzzle pieces falling into its place, and for once the future suddenly felt a bit more hopeful and bright for the both of you.

—-

Hawkins, Indiana March 1986

Spring: bears come out of hibernation, flowers begin to bloom, the world starts to feel a little warmer.

And for the students of Hawkins High, it also meant spring break. 

Your growing stomach was now around 5 months pregnant, the curve of your belly extended so that you couldn’t see your feet anymore. Steve was more than happy to accompany you to your doctor's appointments. You’ll never forget how his brown eyes filled with tears as you both heard the baby’s heartbeat for the first time. 

The pregnancy if anything made you and Steve even closer. He took on the role of a soon to be doting father very seriously, always making sure you and the baby weren’t missing anything. You spent most nights at Steve’s house anyways since you didn’t like staying at your house. You would just tell your parents that you were staying at Robin’s so they wouldn’t muddle in your business. Steve’s parents weren’t around much anyways so it was easy to hide it from them as well.

The baby was healthy and was about the size of a mango - per Robin who was quickly reading her way through many pregnancy books (while Steve was slowly yet surely making his way through one) You had both decided that you didn’t want to know the gender when the option came up. The baby was a surprise anyways so may as well keep the gender a surprise as well.  

Your belly started to poke out from most of your shirts so you were now restricted to mostly wearing Steve’s shirts around the house - but he didn’t mind. But even in your tousled hair and mood swings he still thought you were the most beautiful person he’d ever seen. He never missed an opportunity to hold you and caress you with kisses and affection. He never thought he could ever feel this way towards another person again, even more now that you were carrying his child. 

The kids were surprised, yet excited for a new chapter in Steve’s life. Dustin got dibs on becoming godfather and best and number one uncle. Although you noticed recently he was spending more and more time away from Steve and more with a friend by the name of Eddie. 

It was the day after Hawkins High championship basketball game. You and Steve had gone together to support both Lucas and Robin and had considered it a mini date night, grabbing milkshakes and burgers with Robin after the match. 

You pushed the door open to Family Video, being greeted by a grinning Robin.

“Morning momma Harrington! And Harrington junior!” she exclaims behind the counter. 

Steve pulls around the corner, a cart in his hands filled with VHS tapes. He giddily walks over to you and places a chaste kiss on your lips. His hands then move to your belly.

“How are my girls doing this morning?” He asks

“Steve, what happened to keeping it a surprise huh?” You tut at him. 

“I know, I know but I feel it in my loins that the baby is a girl”

You hear Robin groan behind you, “Ew please don’t say loins, or anything to do with your junk”

You laugh, “Sorry Robs, I’ll try -“ you suddenly stop mid sentence. You instinctively grab your stomach as you feel flutters spread all throughout your belly. Steve instantly notices and stiffens, “Hey, hey, you okay?”

You reach out and grab his hand and place it on your stomach. You both stand in silence as the flutters return, Steve’s hands widely splayed on your stomach. His eyes grow large as he feels the kicks, 

“S-she’s kicking” he stammers out. He turns to Robin with a wide goofy grin on his face “Robin, my baby is kicking!” He exclaims happily. 

“Mango baby has legs!” She exclaims back. 

“Mango baby definitely has legs” you pause again, wincing as the baby kicks you particularly hard at the sound of its fathers voice. “Oof Steve I think we have a future soccer player here” 

“Or basketball player, or she could be a swimmer too, our baby can be whatever she wants to be” he said proudly. 

“Also, guess what I found while at the library yesterday.” You rummage through your purse and pull out a VHS. Steve takes it from you, eyes scanning the front cover “Miracle of Life? No, no way I am not watching that”

Robin however, runs around the counter and snatches the tape out of his hand. “Oh hell yes jackpot! Steve, don't you want to know how baby mango is developing?”

“Baby Harrington is developing just fine as per her hard kicks” he counters. 

“I got it mostly for Robin, she seems really into the whole baby development thing - she's really taking this whole aunt thing seriously” you mutter to Steve. He nods at your explanation. You both watch as Robin runs behind the counter to grab the remote. 

“It’s all science Steve! It’s fascinating how a woman’s body goes through all these - “

As she turns on the tv, the three of you are suddenly caught off guard by the breaking news segment that was currently on. 

“We’re in the Forest Hill trailer park in east Roane county. We don’t have a lot of details now but we can confirm that the body of a Hawkins high student was discovered early this morning …”

“Holy shit” Steve says. 

“Oh my god, I wonder if this happened after the game?” You question. 

You look between Robin and Steve, a concerned expression on both of their faces. Something in your gut was telling you that there was something more. Hawkins was a small town and you knew a murder would rock it to its core. You glanced up at Steve and he instinctively wrapped his arm around you, placing a kiss on top of your head. You rested into his touch, exhaling a large breath through your nose. 

Looking back, you wish you could have prepared yourself for the chaos you would be thrown into the next day and how the Upside Down would grasp you and everyone you loved and cared about into a merciless chokehold. 

#steve harrington x female reader #steve harrington x reader #Steve Harrington #stranger things

[oohnotvery]

Wherever Is Your Heart (Chapter 3)

A breakfast of toast and coffee helps soothe her stomach some, and an aspirin does the trick for her headache, but nothing can stop the anxious pounding of her heart.

She debates calling Mulder. Her brain tries to come up with a million reasons why it’s not as bad as it seems. Maybe he was drunk too and doesn’t remember much of it. Maybe she didn’t say or do all of the things she thinks she said and did. Maybe it was all just a horrendous nightmare, and she cabbed home by herself and then had a very vivid dream about trying to seduce Mulder.

Mulder.

Oh . . . god. Her one and only friend, her partner, her family. All of that, ruined in one terrible, mortifying stretch of evening.

Simply put, he told her no. Whether that was because she was drunk or because he simply didn’t want her, she fears she’ll never truly know.

For the millionth time since Melissa’s death, Scully wishes she could talk to her sister. To ask her what to do about this heartbreak, this humiliation, this rejection, this mortification.

How can she and Mulder possibly continue on after this? Every time he looks at her from now on, she’ll see his pity, his rejection, his secondhand embarrassment for her. Things will never be the same.

All morning, she debates calling him and apologizing. Really, that needs to be her first step. She acted out of line and if she wants any chance at salvaging the relationship, a properly worded phone call will do the trick.

But she can’t bring herself to dial his number. She raises the receiver three times and slams it down three more times, unsure how to do this. How does one even begin to apologize for sexually harassing one’s coworker?

She’s standing by the phone debating her next move when it rings. She has the receiver to her ear before she can psych herself out of not answering.

“Scully,” she answers, digging her nails into her palm nervously.

But it’s not him. It’s her mother, triple-checking that they’re still on for Christmas Day. The tears that spring across her eyelashes at her mother’s voice surprise her.

“Dana?” her mother asks after a period of silence. “Is everything alright?”

Scully sniffs discreetly and wipes at her tears. “Everything is fine,” she promises as cheerfully as she can manage. She clears her throat. “I have a bit of a cold.”

She cringes at the lie, sinking deeper into the unenviable realm of self-hatred. It’s unclear whether Maggie Scully buys the fib or not, and they spend another few minutes on the phone hashing out the details of who’s supplying which pie.

Towards the end of their call, there’s another long pause that makes Scully grow fidgety.

“You know Dana,” her mother begins gently, “you can always talk to me if something’s bothering you. I know after Melissa died, you not only lost a sister, but a confidante.” Both women fall silent, and Scully imagines her mom wiping away tears of her own. Her mother’s voice is raspier when she speaks again. “But you can always talk to me.”

“Thanks, mom,” she manages to reply, her voice pitching higher with emotion.

After that, Scully takes a break from waiting by the phone. She tidies up her apartment, fixes herself a second coffee, and flips through a few magazines. But her mind keeps wandering.

Maybe Mulder will call to ask how she’s doing. Maybe he’ll call and broach the subject first, telling her it’s all forgotten, all okay. We never have to mention it again, he’ll say cheerfully after a few below-the-belt jokes.

In the end, the phone doesn’t ring again. She starts to wonder when exactly he left. Was it right after she threw up? Or did he wait til morning? And when did it get too much for him that he needed to physically remove himself from her space?

Her heart cracks open at the thought of their partnership floundering under this new embarrassment. She does not think she can carry on, not like this. It’s one thing to drunkenly ask someone for a romp in the hay. It’s another thing altogether to say I love you. That’s the part that hurts the most, the baring of her naked soul.

She tries to put herself in Mulder’s shoes. What would she do if he had gotten drunk, tried to seduce her, and told her he loved her? Well, it would be a very welcome change of pace, that’s for certain. If Mulder put his feelings out in the world so blatantly, she wouldn’t have left his apartment in the middle of the night. No, she would have stayed there so that in the morning, she could reassure him of her love.

But he hasn’t even called or checked in. He hasn’t even bothered trying to tell her that all is well. The cold, hard facts to which she so faithfully clings are a painful pill to swallow: he’s trying to distance himself from her.

Sunday passes in a blur of headaches, stomachaches, and reeling thoughts. She stays up half the night nervously wondering how Monday will be. She practices her speech. She will apologize, because that must come first. She will then ask him to please forget it ever happened.

But every time she gets to that part of her speech, a part of her starts to fantasize that he stops her in her tracks. “It was embarrassing, yeah,” he will admit with a slightly goofy smile, “but I actually feel the same way.” A very secret, very private part of her starts to hope that this will all turn out for the best in the end. And maybe this was just the first horrifying, awkward step in their realizing their feelings for each other.

It is on that wing and a prayer that she enters the office on Monday. Mulder is already at his desk spinning a pen between his fingers. With hope and bravery twin companions in her heart, she walks up to him and clears her throat. He swivels expectantly and she watches his face closely for a sign. But he just looks at her the way he always does—kind interest, open expression.

“Hey, Scully,” he greets her, and it’s so normal she almost falters.

She swipes at her upper lip as her cheeks turn pink under his gaze. “Can we talk?”

He sucks in his cheeks for a minute and then stands, nodding. She turns and shuts the door quietly behind her. The room is suddenly too constricting.

He leans hipshot against his desk and she twists her fingers uncomfortably. “I wanted to apologize,” she starts, the beginning of the rehearsed speech. “For what I did Saturday night. As I hope you know, after almost five years of working together, it was extremely out of character for me. Although there’s no excuse, I was intoxicated and I’d really like to just forget it—”

He nods a little and before she can continue, holds up a hand. “It’s okay, yeah? No harm, no foul.”

He’s playing it really cool, which she partially expected. She holds her breath for a moment, waiting for him to say something else. It wasn’t that your advances were unwanted; I just didn’t want to take advantage of you, he might say.  

“Thank you,” she finally says when it’s clear he’s done speaking.

“Alright,” he says with an eager look, “back to it?”

She is dumbfounded, stunned into silence. That’s it? That’s all they’re going to say about the absolute disaster that was Saturday night? She was half-expecting him to at least make a bad joke. And at the very most, she was hoping he would admit that her feelings were mutual. In stupefaction, she just nods.

They get called out to Washington State later that day and Mulder is booking them next-day flights before she can even wrap her head around the trip. She doesn’t know how to manage close quarters with him after the humiliation of their weekend, and starts to wonder if she should back out of it altogether.

She’s in the breakroom pouring coffee when she sees it. A woman—someone she’s never seen before—pulling Mulder into a private conference room. He sits down in a chair and the woman leans onto the conference table beside him, her hips touching his shoulders. They look comfortable together. Easy. Familiar.

The woman laughs at something he says with a pretty smile and Mulder grins. Her blonde hair swishes across a designer blazer and Scully watches in horror as Mulder taps the woman on the knee. Her bare knee. It’s so intimate that Scully overpours her coffee and curses as scalding liquid burns her hand.

It hits her all at once. Whatever hope she was carrying that maybe things weren’t so bad is now gone. Mulder wasn’t just rejecting her out of gentlemanly concern for her state of mind; he was rejecting her because he has no interest in her like that. She humiliated herself for him. She tried to seduce him and failed. And he rejected her.

Their professional partnership, she slowly realizes as she makes her way over to her desk, isn’t the only thing that matters to her. It’s him. It’s the personal connection with him. And that is being ground to dust before her eyes.

Scully lingers in the break room for a long time, wishing she could hear what they were discussing, wondering who this pretty blonde agent is. When ten minutes have passed, she gives up and heads back down to the basement, feeling defeated and on edge. 

At five p.m., she makes her decision. She will not go on the trip. She sends Mulder a short email, embedding in it a lie that he will or won’t believe—I’m too sick. Go without me. She hasn’t called out sick in years. Not even during her cancer.

The rest of the week passes without Mulder. They barely talk. There’s no reason to communicate across the distance. It feels healthy, almost, without him here. He doesn’t want her in the way she wants him, and the pain of that realization is easier to bear when she’s not face-to-face with his handsome jawline and disarming humor.

When he returns to the office on Friday, as chipper and unbothered as he had seemed on Monday, Scully makes a decision. She will not pine for him; she will not waste time on love unrequited. It’s time to move on.

#x files #msr #msr fanfic #mulder x scully #dana scully #txf #fox mulder my beloved #the x files #x files fanfic

[ksfoxwald]

Fire and Hemlock Readalong: Part 3 Chapter 4

There's a LOT of ground to cover here, so let's go!

Polly returns home to Granny, who calls Ivy out on her bullshit. Children don't have a lot of context for the way adults act, but we're seeing with the quartet and now with Granny that there are now adults saying that the way Ivy treats Polly is not okay, and that starts to make it more real.

Granny decides that she is going to get custody of Polly in a decidedly "warlike" manner - so we have another female hero in some ways, another way of women to be powerful besides imitating men (Hero) or using sex to control men (Laurel).

We also see the return of Seb, this time with a camera. Polly already has two significant photos from the House, and Seb's may or may not be considered a third. Laurel, it seems, prefers music but does like the arts in general, as several of her other conquests have been photographers, though whether Seb is aware of this is unknown.

Photography is an interesting motif because it's a way of capturing an image that is supposedly true, but as we've seen with the shifting nature of the Fire and Hemlock photo, that is not always the case. It's another blurring of real/unreal like Nowhere.

Granny, strangely, encourages Seb's crush on Polly, though Polly herself is dubious, at first not realizing what Seb wants and then feeling uncomfortable about it. Perhaps Granny is compensating for her earlier hostility toward Tom. Or perhaps she sees him as less threatening because he's closer in age to Polly, but he's like sixteen to Polly's twelve, which is still highly questionable. In fact, when Polly finally does manage to tell him off, that's exactly what she says. "Go away and don't come back for a year! I'm too young!"

At school Polly performs in Twelfth Night, another classic crossdressing story, and Nina is going through an activist phase like any good queerling. It's a bit heroic of her, honestly, and yet another way she parallels Polly. The girls also manage to meet Leslie at Town Hall as they had arranged earlier, and though we don't learn much, we do establish that he and Seb know each other and that he has a "broken home of some kind." I guess your dad pretending that your mom is actually his sister in order to hide from a Faerie Queen can be considered a broken home.

Meanwhile, Polly finally manages to compose her Epic Novel about Nowhere. Interestingly we do get a mention of a bit where "Hero herself became a king's daughter who had to run away from home because of the machinations of her beautiful but evil girl-cousin," a trope which I earlier noted seemed conspicuously absent but fits with her unconscious dismissal of women as heroes. The whole novel is very tropey, because she is fourteen. Tom's response is the iconic:

Sentimental drivel.

In a way this is also one of the pictures from the House coming true. One of the rejected pictures was of a knight praying at an altar; Polly suggests he might be a trainee-hero, and Tom says it's "soppy." In any case, we've known Tom has Opinions on this sort of thing since the beginning.

The scene we get as an example is of Tan Coul getting wounded in the shoulder, and Hero having to dress the wound, while admiring the "smooth, powerful muscles rippling under the silken skin of his back."

Polly's latent sexuality is emerging in this scene, though she's still only comfortable expressing it in her imagination and not in reality; Her reaction to Seb kissing her is "What a funny thing to do! What do people see in it?"

But every teenager knows that there is a huge difference between a hurt/comfort fic starring your self-insert OC and a clumsy teen boy who, as Granny puts it "When he's noticed there are other people in the world besides himself, there might be no harm in Master Sebastian."

Polly is furious at Tom, demanding an explanation, so he sends her a very vivid description of normal human backs by way of Sam. But it's not until Polly goes and talks with Ivy, who has a new lodger and blames Polly for all her problems, that she realizes "there were ways of thought that were quite unreal, and the same ways went on being unreal even in the hero business."

This is a very fundamental part of Diana's writing. In her essay "Two Kinds of Writing" she describes part of her process as being "Now what would really happen [to these real people] in this situation?" (the situation being crashing a spaceship in an alternate world in order to seduce ascetic monks, because of course it is. Go read A Sudden Wild Magic if you can get your hands on it, it's bonkers even by DWJ standards).

But this also reminds me of current Discourse in fantasy circles about "realism," because it usually comes down to "it's not realistic for people to be brown or queer in a medeivalesque setting" vs. "if you can accept dragons why not queer people or people of color?", I haven't seen much talk on defining what "realism" means for fantasy, and what purpose it serves. Because fantasy is about making up situations, but the people should still behave like people, and that means there will be queer people and people of color and people with a variety of backs that most definitely do not look like silk.

Tom, of course, has an agenda here, because the things they make up work better when they are rooted in reality. Their magic is in many ways a metaphor for the creative process (see also Diana's novel Hexwood, which is in many ways a metaphor for the editing process) as well.

Perhaps seeing Polly with the quartet also reframed Tom's concept of their relationship, because he's pulling away again. He does not come to Twelfth Night - which is ultimately a romance - but he does come to Sports Day, which is part of Polly's hero training and thus puts her back in the safely nonsexual category of "boy/child assistant." Still, he does not stay and talk, leaving only a postcard with a drawing of himself as a kangaroo before the quartet sets off on a tour of Australia.

"He thinks I'm just a child!" Polly said angrily. "Well you are," said Granny.

Polly seems to have forgotten her "I'm too young!" to Seb; or perhaps does not see any connection to her relationship with Tom; or perhaps is simply experiencing the Nowhere state of being a teenager as constantly too-young and too-old all at the same time.

#fh readalong #fire and hemlock #dwj

[crazycookiecrumbles]

Do You Like Waffles?

Masterlist

A/N:  The Sequel to Do You Like Pizza? That no one asked for.

Pairings/Characters: TASM! Peter Parker x Reader

Warnings: Tony Stark’s dazzling personality, sexual innuendos so MINORS DNI YOU WILL BE BLOCKED, swears

Summary: It’s been nearly two years since Tony revealed he was Iron Man, and you discovered he was your father. So, what else could possibly go wrong in this universe? What other messes might you have to clean up while trying to maintain your relationship with Peter Parker?

“Baby, honey, honey, darling, sweetheart, terror of my life, madam stun gun, baby,” Peter’s finger was poking your cheek, his breath hot on the back of your head as he perched on his knees in bed and badgered you into consciousness.

“What?” You hissed as you yanked the covers up over your head. “Peter, please. This is the worst day of my life. Let me sleep in. I won’t get fired for being late.”

“I just wanted to know, do you like waffles?” He whispered.

What the fuck?

“What the fuck kind of question is that?”

“Do you like waffles?”

“Yes, yes, I like waffles.”

“Okay. Great. Thanks, honey,” he leaned over and mashed his lips against your cheek to leave a slobbery print before he jumped out of bed and ran to the kitchen.

You sighed heavily as you lay there finally opening your eyes and accepting the day.

Things were very, very weird, okay? They were bizarre.

Your mom dies, your dad is back from the ‘dead’ and the world’s most annoying, eccentric billionaire. Your boyfriend is a superhero who, apparently, learned the multiverse is a real thing and refused to touch on the subject anymore for fear of ‘timey-wimey anomalies’ and all that stuff. Then, your ‘dead’ dad moves to your side of the country, buys a tower, starts to build it and put things together all the while he nearly: died of palladium poisoning, had a giant Russian nearly kill him, his best friend got his own suit, and the pirate-looking guy came back around.

Again.

This was very, very weird. Okay? 

It seemed like in such a short amount of time, things were getting even more weirder than usual. Hell, you thought that growing up having a guy run around dressed as a spider was fucking weird. Imagine how strange and unusual it was that your new norm was your father flying around in a red and gold suit to save the day?

Horrific.

To top it all off, you caved.

To be fair, it took you awhile. At first you rejected working at Stark Industries, which was fine, because with all the drama in Tony’s life and trying to fix up that building, it was just taking far, far too long to move everything to the East Coast. Hell, sometimes he was still going over to the West Coast to deal with his empire.

But, when it seemed like Tony was grooming you to work at the company alongside Pepper and leave your current job because of his illness, when you realized that SHIELD seemed just as shady and questionable as every other government agency you had considered after working with them for awhile, when working freelance was just too difficult and annoying to sift through the serious inquiries against the Stark stalkers, well, you realized that maybe it was time to see how Stark Industries would work with you joining them. 

That leads us to today, your first day working at Stark Industries, and you already had a sense of dread. You’d been in the bathroom all night shooting your anxiety into the porcelain throne and listening to Peter’s jokes about you trying to kill him in his own home. To Peter’s credit, he did say if you had this much dread working for him, that you didn’t have to, that you could just do anything else you wanted, but there was a part of you, maybe it was sick and twisted, that just had to know what Stark Industries would be like.

Dragging yourself out of bed, you took a shower and put on your clothes for the day. Tony gave you a start time, and whether it was your poor quality of sleep your desire to constantly rebel and piss him off, you were electing to generously ignore his request.

Entering the kitchen, you saw your boyfriend standing behind your usual seat at the kitchen table, drumming his fingers on the back of your seat while he smiled at you.

Peter also had his fair share of drama. Almost two years later, and Peter’s lab work was slowly but surely making progress, but his work as Spider-Man seemed to be moving at a much faster pace. There was a Vulture guy, someone who you think might have been named Kraven? You couldn’t remember, but it was all utterly chaotic, and that didn’t even count all the other various gangs and mob bosses on a daily basis. 

It was because of his desire to fight these sorts of crimes and stay on the street-level to protect the little guy that Peter refused to have anything to do with SHIELD, plus, well, his father did have a few words to say about that as well. Besides, Peter owed his life to being down in the streets with his favorite New Yorkers. After all, if he was too busy fighting aliens and galactic stuff, how could he have ever met you?

Although, to be fair, he definitely met you on accident. And, of course, he fell out of a portal. But his reasoning was that it was on a street — well, it was in an alley. That still counts, right?

“Did you make waffles for breakfast?” You asked with a smile on your face as you approached the kitchen.

“I actually made pancakes, and they came out absolutely disgusting, so I ordered some waffles. Look, look, I got Nutella and strawberries to go with it. And, and, and?” Peter ran to the refrigerator, yanked the door open, and dramatically fanned his arm out to the side to show the door, “We have whipped cream.”

“Are you sure? I thought we used it all on Friday night for human sundaes,” you leaned over the counter while Peter checked the can. You watched as he frowned and shook the empty can in his mouth before expertly tossing it into the recycling bin.

“Okay, so we don’t have that. But we have breakfast, and you’re going to have a magical day,” Peter said as he came around the counter and rested his hands on your hips. “It’ll be fine. You two get along better than you think.”

“I don’t know. He’s annoying.”

“Right, and you’re not?”

“Hey!” You pouted while he laughed and squished your cheeks in his hands before he pressed a kiss on your forehead. “Dickhead.”

“You happen to like my dick head, so,” Peter shrugged easily and escorted you to your seat. “It’ll be okay. Pepper will be there! You love Pepper.”

“Yeah. I’m not sure how she dealt with him for so long,” you sighed and sat down while Peter grabbed a strawberry and brought it to your lips. You spotted Peter’s hand, opened your mouth, and let him place the strawberry slice in your mouth, playfully biting the tip of his finger. He hissed and pouted before playfully squeezing your thigh and sliding into the other seat. Your shoulder sagged as you looked to him,“This is fine. Right?”

“It’s fine, honey,” Peter smiled softly as he stared at you. “You’re going to do great things, trust me.”

“Okay…” you sighed dramatically and grabbed your fork. “Hey, since there’s a multiverse — “

“No —“

“Do you think there’s one where Tony also has a kid? What’s she like, or he? Does he have a daughter in every universe? How —“

“I don’t know, and I couldn’t tell you anyway,” Peter told you.”

“But you trusted Happy because you saw him —“

“I —“ he paused for a moment as he stared at you and thought back to the day they learned your original name would’ve been some variation of MJ. Peter took a deep breath and shook his head, “I think you should focus on our universe and our life, no?”

“So boring,” you stuck your tongue out at him.

“Oh, really? You didn’t say that the other night,” Peter quipped. “In fact, I think it was along the lines of, mmf-hmph! mhm—“

Face burning in embarrassment even though no one was around to hear him tease you, you hurled a strawberry at his cheek. Peter was laughing hysterically as he let it land on his cheek, holding his gut and cackling while you hid your face in shame.

“Hey, no need to be embarrassed. We’ve practically perfected web bondage. I mean, did we rip off your mustache a little bit last time? Yes. We should probably stick to regular gags, but — ah!”

Peter jumped out of his chair and ran away from you as you jumped out and chased him. You cornered him into the bedroom where he let you spear him onto the bed. You grabbed your pillow and put it over his face. Leaning forward, you shushed him and told him to go to sleep while he flailed dramatically beneath you before going still.

Peter flipped you quickly after that, straddling your waist with his thighs while he laughed into the crook of your neck after tossing the pillow away. You were a giggling mess beneath him as one hand wound its way through his hair and the other ran up and down his back.

“I have to go,” he murmured after a few minutes of this cuddling. He pecked your neck before leaning up and kissing your lips. “Do you need a ride to work?”

“Uh,” you thought about it before being interrupted by your phone. Peter shot his web across the room to grab it and hand it to you. Checking the phone, you shook your head. “Nope, he told me it’s a late start because he wants to work on something tonight. So….”

“I’ll pick you up tonight when you guys are done, then,” Peter nodded and kissed you a third time before getting up. “Eat your breakfast! Take your vitamins, all that good shit.”

You shook your head and sat up just as he poked his head back into the bedroom, “Yes, Parker?”

He shot you a toothy grin, “I love you, Y/N.”

He still made your face heat up every time he said that, “I love you too, Peter. Now go! Don’t be late!”

“Who, me?” He called out to you as he grabbed his waffles, made a sandwich of it, and headed to the fire escape. “Never!”

Shaking your head, you flopped back down into bed and stared at the ceiling.

If only your mother could see you now, an amazing relationship, some sort of companionship with your father, a new place, an entirely new life for you. It was unlike anything you could’ve imagined. You wish she was here to celebrate it with you.

~*~

Late in the afternoon, you arrived at Stark Tower. It was more put together now than it had been, that’s for sure. Hell, it basically looked like it was finally completed and had some employees move in already.

You got off at the designated floor, the penthouse you had seen when Tony first bought the building. You quickly thought back to the day where you all met Nick Fury hiding in the darkness. You shook your head as you stepped out of the elevator and spotted Tony and Pepper immediately.

Tony was sitting on the sofa with an arm around the back. One leg crossed over the other as he whispered something in Pepper’s ear. You watched as she laughed and leaned forward to rest her head on his shoulder as she muttered that he was deplorable.

“Spawn in the room,” you announced your presence as you stepped off of the elevator. Neither one jumped away like they’d been caught red-handed. Instead, they turned and greeted you with smiles. Well, Pepper smiled. Tony raised an eyebrow.

“You’re late.”

“You told me to come in late.”

“Right, and that was after you should’ve been here. So, technically, still late,” Tony said while Pepper sighed and lightly smacked his thigh. “What? It’s true.”

“It’s nice to see you, Y/N.” She said, loudly, and over Tony’s voice. “Come here, we were just going over the blueprints.”

“Yes, you can finally see what I’ve been working on that you’ve been denying yourself of,” Tony explained as raised his hands and brought the blueprints to life in hologram form. 

“The holograms? Yeah, I know. I installed them for SHIELD because they couldn’t understand the blueprints you sent.”

“Yeah, I thought that’d be funny, really give them a test, yet only my Spawn could understand it. How precious,” Tony quipped. “But, no. I mean this, the tower. It’s going to run on arc reactor energy, completely clean. I’m going to give it a test run tonight and I want you to be a part of it.”

You blinked, “Why?”

“Eh, feels like this should be some father-daughter type of shit,” Tony shrugged casually, refusing to show an ounce of feelings of parental desire. 

 That wasn’t very, well, strange at this point. See, Tony hiding the fact that he was dying certainly put a strain on the relationship you two had been building. Pepper and Peter theorize it’s causing the two of you to put each other at a distance to not have any feelings hurt. Again. Both feel like you two are stunted morons and are waiting to see you two sobbing in each other’s arms one day.

You’re their favorite idiots, though.

“Okay, then. A very, very large arc reactor to power an entire building —“

“And part of it is underwater but that’s neither here nor there and we have nothing illegal or questionable to worry about,” Tony said.

You looked to Pepper who nodded, “I took care of it.”

“Great,” You set your bag down on a chair and rubbed your hands together. “Okay, then. What can I do?”

Later that evening, surrounded by containers of takeout and a bottle of champagne that had yet to be open, you and Pepper were hanging around the workbench while Tony was flying out to dive under the Hudson and take the tower off the grid.

While he was doing this, the elevator doors opened and Peter was exiting the elevator and heading towards you with a smile on his face and a black jewelry box in his hand. When you turned around and spotted the box, you tilted your head to the side curiously while Pepper beamed and greeted him.

“Hey, Peter. How are you?”

“I’m great, Ms. Potts, thanks. How are you doing? Still sane after being with these two?”

“I think sane is a debatable term in their presence,” Pepper teased.

“Okay. Rude,” you nodded while Peter leaned in and kissed you. “Hi there.”

He grinned, “Hey. Look, I got you something —“

“Peter, this seems potentially expensive — “

“Just open it,” Peter insisted, pushing the box into your hands.

You glanced over your shoulder at Pepper who smirked to herself and turned around, focusing her attention on Tony and the work he was doing. You weighed the box in your hands for a few seconds before lifting the lid. What you found inside made you cackle quickly before reaching your hand in. Peter watched in utter delight as you lifted up a brand new stun gun in your favorite color, “You didn’t!”

“I did,” Peter beamed. “I know you lost yours, and you kept forgetting to get a new one, so I got you a brand-new, trusty tool for self-defense.”

“You are a sweet man, Parker. Thank you,” You cupped his chin and gave him a kiss before spinning around and waving the weapon around with glee. Peter shook his head as he set down his jacket and backpack and walked up to the desk to inquire what Tony was working on.

Pepper explained what was happening while Tony was working. When he announced that he was returning and that all they had to do was the work on their end, you happily pressed the button while Pepper spoke to Tony.

And flirted.

You looked at Pepper with a mock expression of horror while she shot you a wink and continued on.

“How are we doing?” Tony asked as he approached. “Looks operational. Am I a god or what?  Ladies, how does it feel to know an absolute genius while also being absolute geniuses — Oh, hey, Cummy Parker.”

“Tony!” Pepper hissed quietly.

Peter shook his head, “Hey, Tony. Nice tower.”

“Thank you. Maybe one day you too can be this brilliant,” Tony teased, his back to you as he leaned in to kiss Pepper, all the while you ere slowly raising your taser. 

Peter caught this and slowly lowered your hand, even though it would be amazing to see you stun him.

Again.

You looked up at Peter and pouted while Pepper and Tony were flirting, pouring champagne, and moving into the living room. Peter smiled down at you and shot you a wink before kissing your forehead and coaxing the stun gun back into the case.

Suddenly the elevator doors opened, and you all turned to see Agent Phil Coulson entering the party.

“Security breach! It’s on you,” Tony told Pepper as the two of them stood up from the sofa.

“Hey, Coulson,” You smiled and waved to the agent as Pepper greeted him.

"Phil, hi!” She smiled brightly.  “Come in.”

“Phil?" Tony questioned as she quickly made her way over to him.

“I can’t stay,” he nodded to Pepper before glancing at you and Peter. “Ms. L/N, Mr. Parker, it’s good to see you both as well. However, I’m afraid I’m afraid I come with business.”

“That’s okay, Phil,” Peter began.

Tony scoffed, “What is happening? His first name is ‘Agent.’ Never forget that,” Tony replied. 

Ignoring Tony, as one must do to deal with him, Phil lifted the portfolio tucked under his arm and attempted to hand it to Tony while saying they needed him to look at it. Tony, of course, did not like to be handed things, so Pepper took it from him, gave him champagne, and then handed the portfolio to Tony.

“Should I be here for this?” Peter leaned down to whisper in your ear as they talked about the Avenger Initiative. “After all, I said no.”

“As did I, and Tony was rejected. You’re fine, Peter,” you replied back in a whisper. “But, you know, at least you weren’t rejected.” You said loudly, locking eyes with your father.

“Apparently I’m volatile, self-obsessed, don’t play well with others,” Tony explained as he brought the device over to his workbench. 

“Well, who doesn’t know that?” Pepper quipped to Phil who smiled ever so slightly.

“This isn’t about personality profiles anymore,” Phil insisted.

“Yeah, yeah, whatever.” Tony brushed him off. “Ms. Potts, can I have you over here for a second.”

Pepper excused herself, leaving you, Peter, and Phil to stand around each other while they spoke quietly. You paused your lips and nodded a few times as you shoved your hands into the pockets of your slacks. “So, how’s SHIELD?”

“Good, good. We took care of that New Mexico problem,” Phil explained. “You were right, mythical weaponry definitely only moved for one reason.”

You smirked, “I told you so.”

Peter balked. “Wait. What happened in New Mexico?’

“Classified,” Phil told Peter. “But it could very easily be unclassified, should your career aspirations desire a change. You’d be a wonderful team player. Actually, we’d like you in on this as well.”

“Leave the kids out of it,” Tony’s voice was heard across the room, arm waving back at Phil while he kept his eyes on the holograms of various people fighting in front of him. “They stay out of it.”

You rolled your eyes, “We can make our own decisions.”

“You couldn’t even decide what you wanted for lunch today,” Tony answered. “They stay out if it, far, far out of it.”

“I think he’s still upset that giant Russian guy threatened you,” Peter said quietly before turning to Phil. “I’ve got my own work down here, but if you guys need me, I’m just a phone call away.” Peter blinked for a moment, wondering if this man knew of his other identity. “I mean, well — “

“We’ll keep that in mind, Spider-Man,” Phil winked and turned his attention to an approaching Pepper who asked for a ride to the airport. Phil said his goodbyes and left with Pepper.

You and Peter joined Tony’s side, curious as to what he was studying. You and Peter were marveling at what was being displayed, all the while, Peter was thinking about what an Avenger was, his mind going back to the young Peter Parker he had met right before he met you.

“Wow,” you trailed off. “So that’s what they did after New Mexico. Loki Laufeyson, interesting,” you mumbled to yourself as your eyes went to the blue cube. “This looks dangerous.”

“This looks like it’s not in your job description. “Tony quickly put it away. “You two need a ride somewhere?”

“I’ve got us covered,” Peter spoke up.

“Good. Beat it, I’ve got some work to do. Try not to get kidnapped or anything, would ya?” Tony said as you and Peter started to walk towards the balcony. 

“I’ll leave the kidnappings to you,” you replied as you wrapped your arms around Peter’s shoulders. You looked at Tony and sighed watching him bring everything back up to study over. You then turned your attention to Peter, “Be gentle with this drop. I’m still not used to this.”

Peter snickered to himself, “That’s not what you said last night —“

“You’re disgusting, go home!” Tony roared as he fought off the potential trauma this could induce in him.

Arriving at home after picking up some takeout, you and Peter climbed onto the sofa together, limbs tangled up in one another’s as you both put on a movie to watch while you ate.

“Do you think they’ll call for help?” Peter asked you after a few minutes of silence.

“Nah,” you shook your head as you took a bite of food. “We’ll probably see them fuck something up on the news, though.”

Peter nodded and stared at the TV, “So, did you know Captain America was back?”

You cleared your throat, “That’s classified, Peter. I mean, why would I, of Stark DNA working with SHIELD, know of Captain America’s return?”

“You fucking knew didn’t you?”

“Golly, what is this movie? So..interesting,” you joked as you ignored him.

#tasm! peter parker x reader #series: do you like pizza? #series: do you like waffles? #peter parker x reader #stark! reader #peter parker x stark!reader #tasm! peter x reader #tasm! peter parker x stark! reader #peter parker #stark!reader #peter park imagine #peter parker fic #spider-man #fluff #marvel #mcu #andrew garfield #tasm! peter parker #tasm! peter #tasm!spider-man #spider-man x reader

[paper--moons]

Regressor!Ragh Barkrock Headcanons

(with cg!Gorgug and cg!Zelda)

Needless to say after the events of the Prompocalypse, there is a lot for everybody to work through. But before all of that even, Ragh already is having a lot to work through. There's so much about himself that he was repressing in order to fit into what others wanted or expected him to be, to fit into a safe little box that wasn't reflective of his true self. It was so much easier to be the bully than to admit certain things about himself. Sessions with Jawbone help him to come to terms with a few major aspects of who he is. During their sessions they tackle the fact that he's been denying his feelings about Dayne, that he'd been denying the fact itself that he was gay. They also start working through how his mom's health has been bearing down on him since he was a little kid, how he still sometimes feels like that scared little kid who worries about his mom, and by extension Jawbone recommends that Ragh might benefit from trying age regression. There's some trial and error, but sometime between prom and the next school year he figures out he falls somewhere around 7 or 8. By the time summer is over, he's not only opened up about his sexuality and has become proud of who he is, but he's got another thing to open up about still: his regression.

It's Gorgug that he tells first, naturally. They are the closest, after all. Or not so much as tells him with words, but rather it just sort of happens when he is first sorting through everything with Jawbone and giving the whole regression thing a go. They just kind of fall into a regressor and cg dynamic without even meaning to once they start hanging out after defeating Kalvaxus. Ragh doesn't even notice that he middlespaces around Gorgug so much, thinking he's just feeling really relaxed now that he has friends that accept him. In fact it's Zelda that points out how Ragh will sometimes drop his guard so heavily around Gorgug, that he loses his edge and looks at the other boy as if he's hung the moon. Gorgug, ever oblivious, never really noticed—though that didn't apparently stop him from responding in kind, softening his voice and treating him more gently than he normally would. He's always been an only child, but it's clear that he's got the makings of big brother material.

Once Ragh sort of works out that he has been middlespacing with Gorgug, he makes the next step (at Jawbone's suggestion) to ask if Gorgug would like to be his cg. Only if he wants though, was it weird to ask? Maybe he should forget it, it was dumb, right? Yeah, don't worry about it! Despite wanting to include him in this and being told that it can be beneficial to share parts of ourselves with the people we love and trust, Ragh still has a lot of issues with rejection—specifically the fear of rejection—to work through. It's all part of an ongoing healing process! So imagine his surprise when Gorgug says okay, agrees like it's the most natural thing in the world and that Ragh didn't just make himself incredibly vulnerable. It's so different than how things were before with Dayne, when any hint of vulnerability would be used against him; the idea that such vulnerability can be rewarded is still foreign to him, but that doesn't stop the spread of the grin on his face as Gorgug suggests they go get some ice-cream, a grin that only brightens as he takes his hand to lead the way.

Visits to Basrar's Soda Fountain kind of become a staple of Ragh's regression. While it's a typical hang-out spot for the Bad Kids, Gorgug winds up taking Ragh there once a week—usually going after bloodrush practice on Thursdays when all the rough-housing has inevitably brought out that rambunctious little kid he's got hiding away. Sometimes Zelda meets them there, if only to see the absolute mountain of ice-cream Ragh is about to scarf down with only the true gusto a child can manage. His order is always the same too: rocky road with extra marshmallows, topped with lots of cherries and whipped cream. The majority of it does tend to make it into his stomach on most occasions, but usually Zelda and Gorgug wind up having to wipe his face a bit to free him of the dreaded ice-cream mustache. Not to mention his hands, which are sticky with the drying cold-confection. Ragh might be a big boy but he's still a messy eater, and he's small enough that he doesn't realize he'll make everything else sticky if they don't clean him up. But so long as they get to go play on the park swings afterwards, he doesn't put up too much of a fuss about getting cleaned up.

On the off chance that Gorgug is busy, Ragh finds himself slipping around Zelda. The time they spend together is always very chill, and usually involves the two of them laying in the grass as they watch the clouds, listening to her music with an earbud between them. To anyone else her musical preferences might not seem the most calming for a kid, but for Ragh the thrasher metal is so irrevocably Zelda that it has that effect on him. Nothing bad is going to happen to him as long as he's with her, and the music is just another reminder of her presence. Plus, it certainly doesn't hurt that he's an energetic kid and this is some pretty energetic music. Ragh asks her questions about what they are listening to that day, what songs are her favorites, stuff like that. Later on he'll get Gorgug to help him burn a special CD for her, being sure to decorate a sleeve to put it in. It's a fun arts and crafts project for him and a gift for her, so it's a win-win!

The trip they take for spring break—or rather the adventure they go on—is a lot of excitement for the little guy. They get to go to a floating pirate city! Time in the Hangvan is filled with a lot less "are we there yet"s than anticipated, as the novelty of a van that can transform into a boat and talk doesn't wear off so quickly when you're seven years old. Especially when that van has magic on it that makes little rooms in the back for them. Despite how cool and exciting everything is however, the adventure is still scary at times and can take a lot out of him when he starts fraying at the edges so to speak. The stuff with his mom does not help this, and so whenever the group does get to rest it isn't uncommon to find him practically latched to Gorgug's side. More often than not they wind up falling asleep with Ragh snuggled up to his side with Gorgug's arm slung around him protectively.

And while Gorgug is busy trying to call Zelda, Ragh is busy with his own little task. He may not be able to help with the calling thing much, but he does think it might be nice to bring her something back. He's the type of kid that is all about the "I found this cool shell/rock/etc. and I thought you'd like it" lifestyle. Wherever it is they go, he's always picking up something to add to the small bag he bought back before they left for this exact purpose—nobody even notices him doing it, and nobody really questions why he's got a little satchel filled with seemingly random items. As far as they are concerned, that's just Ragh being Ragh. Once they get back he's sure to give it to her, and gets Gorgug to help him tell the story behind each of the little "treasures" he brought back for her. It was their adventure, but he wants all three of them to be able to share a piece of it!

#sfw agere #dimension 20 #dimension 20 agere #ragh barkrock #agere ragh barkrock #gorgug thistlespring #agere gorgug thistlespring #zelda donovan #agere zelda donovan #moons hcs

[puff-mmd]

(this is about yakumo btw, this is what i get for pasting discord messages into a tumblr post on my lunch)

i have been thinking about how him and kaisei met, and how their relationship changed over time to what it eventually became before kaisei essentially kicked him to the curb for ciro, and i feel... a little bad for him...

his parents hated that he liked men and made sure he knew of their disapproval, but forced him to stay at home and finish high school (in their eyes the only thing worse than a gay son was a deadbeat gay son)

but it was pretty tortorous for him for at least 2 years before he finally moved out at 18 into his own apartment. it was a run down, crappy place but to him it was better than being berated at home.

i don't think he even told kaisei that was the reason he got a place of his own though, probably more of a veiled "just wanted to be on my own" kind of thing.

and then i thought about kaisei visiting yakumo soon after he moves out, and that's when they kinda...

ended up being intimate for the first time.

and kaisei experiences his first real heartbreak :')

he had a bit of a crush on yakumo already (they were at least friends in school) and after they did it, he asked yakumo to be his boyfriend. in his mind, that made sense - you like someone, they do something that means they like you back, you should date - right?

....except yakumo was already horrified that he actually acted on his feelings that he's been told for years now were wrong and horrible, and he reacted to kaisei's offer with revoltion. even though he liked it, the fact that he did disgusted him - all he could see were his parents disapproving eyes and hear their vulgar comments running through his head.

kaisei keeps himself together and that he hopes they can still be friends at least, but when he gets home (still thinking he lives at home at this point), he ends up spilling what happened to his mom who tries her best to comfort him.

as time goes on, yakumo starts to take on this "fuck my parents they were assholes" attitude and starts to accept his sexuality, but he's still hesitant about being in a relationship, and anytime kaisei would hint at it, he'd still shut him down.

whats killing me a little is after kaisei and ciro get together, i keep thinking how yakumo feels like he pushed away the one person that did make him feel some happiness. that no matter what, kaisei was there for him - even if he didn't understand why when he always rejected him.

(it's because kaisei craves love and affection so much that he does try to find it elsewhere, fails, and also sees yakumo as someone to fall back on)

.....also it just occured to me that yakumos parents probably found out he was gay because he and kaisei did do some things when they were younger, and i imagined for a moment they got caught kissing and well

one of his parents that caught them probably asked kaisei to leave so they could "talk" with yakumo, so he didnt even realize what was going to happen after (kaisei is still young and hasn't been the target of many if any negative perceptions for his own sexuality - he has a loving mom who makes sure he feels safe, and for the most part people at school still think he's cool - even if some of them in private dont like that he's gay)

and yakumo never telling kaisei about all of that verbal and emotional abuse, and if he ever does, its much much later...;;;

#kaisei #yakumo #oc #rambles #rambling

[thereallordgrape]

How did Olevia know that Dai Tai is the one for her?

So, Olevia never had a serious romantic relationship before, not even a casual one, so romance is fresh to her. She had a tough time recognizing if someone's interested in her and despite how upfront Dai Tai can be, Olevia still might be oblivious to Dai Tai’s attention in the beginning. I imagine them starting off as friends, Olevia probably writes her flirtations off as being friendly or ‘that’s what friends do’ (Olevia never had close friends either growing up, people were typically in it to use her). It would’ve taken someone else to point it out to Olevia that Dai Tai is serious for the realization to hit her and Olevia would be awkward. But it’s the kind of awkwardness where she thinks she’s being the weird one when in reality it comes off as smooth so like: Olevia: says something unconsciously smooth Olevia: on the inside was that too much? Nuts, I think I over did it😖 DT: 🤪😍🥰🤩

Olevia indulges Dai Tai tentatively, this is new grounds she's discovering without her family hovering over her. However, the moment Olevia realized Dai Tai was meant for her wasn't some grandiose moment. Olevia was invited over Dai Tai's place to sleep over and they began late night talking for so long that time was nothing but a concept. Nothing sexual, just two sad people sharing space together. Realizing how vulnerable she could be without judgement and how similar their lives are, that was the moment Olevia realized Dai Tai was the one. Because we all want someone we can open our hearts too.

Funny you should ask this too, @laylaylamode and I had a conversation related to this question. I had asked them what was the difference between when Xiang and Olevia flirted with Dai Tai. They gave me permission to share it with y'all so I've copied it below, with a few edits: @laylaylamode: Whenever Dai Tai was flirting with Xiang it was always more sexual with the aim to please him. She always felt like she constantly had to remind him of her interest because she was afraid that he would become disinterested. She sought validation through his attention so her flirting was very physical and seductive. Xiang flirting back with her would get her flustered because she knew what it would lead to. But flirting with Olevia is a different game of chase. Dai Tai is used to having to be a people pleaser so this is her first time being interested in someone that doesn't have an ulterior motive. Coming on too strong could push her away and because she admires Olevia she doesn't want to disrespect her or make her uncomfortable. So when she flirts with Olevia it's based on keen observation of the little things. It could be a different hairstyle or a book she's reading, but most compliments will be on her intellect. Like a successful strategy or a shared philosophical quote. Dai Tai enjoys her company and tries to match her energy and engage her, which is a change of pace since she constantly had to prove herself to others (her mom, Xiang, etc.) So when Olevia flirts with her she MELTS. It's like that "you actually like me?" feeling where she's caught off guard. She'll blush and at a loss for word if Olevia takes charge/initiates the flirting. Dai Tai is still fragile so she knows that whatever comes from Olevia is genuine and that sparks a feeling in her heart. Olevia could wink at her and she'll freeze on the spot or blush and cover her face with a napkin. She's still a giddy romantic and she's really digging this ghost girl! Deeper into their relationship she'll evolve into cool and suave once she gets over her insecurity of being inadequate. But there are still moments 🥴 Dai Tai: do you like me…? Olevia: we're married, cher. She has high respect for Olevia and wants to be worthy of her but is afraid that her attempts for affection will be rejected. So when Olevia validates her feelings and makes her feel wanted just for merely existing, it rocks her little world ❤️

I thought this post deserved a long response since I took a while to answer and I do really like the question. Thank you for your patience!

Feel free to add your own opinion @laylaylamode👍👍

[hanji-cafe]

Long Distance H.J.S

Words: 4.2k

CW: NSFW, mentions of sexual fantasies, very vulgar language, angst, swearing, drinking, rejection

Post Playlist: Growing up is ___ - Ruel, Ribs - Lorde

Jisung laid under the sheets with his best friend curled up in his arms. He never imagined that she would make love to him the night before she moved across the country. 

It was hard and sad. Jisung cursed the universe asking why it had to happen this way. He knew he should have confessed freshman year in band class but instead you kissed him goodbye the last summer night before you were heading to college. 

His mom always told him not to go to college with someone in his heart, that would only make everything more difficult, but how was he supposed to go off and have fun when the thing he had been waiting for since he started high school was nestled in his arms. It was something that he would lose the next morning. How was he supposed to be okay? 

“Jisung,” you mumbled with a soft whisper, the sleep still coating the corner of your eyes as they fluttered open to see Jisung staring at the ceiling in longing. 

“I’ve always wanted this to happen, but now that it has, I feel like I can’t go back to how we once were,” Jisung confessed. “I honestly am in love with you, and I don’t know how to go off to Uni without you in my mind.” 

“Hmm,” you hummed. “I’m sure there will be lots of hot women at your Uni. Much prettier than me. You’ll forget me within the first week.” 

“Will you forget about me?” Jisung asked quickly. 

No…

“Let’s just get some sleep, Jisung.” 

“I’m going to be losing you in the morning. Going to sleep is the last thing I want to do.” 

You both laid there, staring at the ceiling in complete silence, but it was comfortable. You and Jisung just had that kind of friendship. It was always okay to not have anything to say. 

“Growing up is hard,” you whispered. “I don’t think I could ever forget you, Sung…” 

“Then don’t,” he said, his hands brushing her side soothingly. “Let’s do long-distance…” 

“Jisung, that won’t last a week.” 

“I need this to be more than a one night fling!” Jisung cried. 

“You’ll always be more than that,” you say, hugging him tightly. “You’re my best friend. You’ll always be my best friend, Jisung…” 

“Then why does it feel like tonight is goodbye?” 

That night was an unknown goodbye. When Jisung would come home for thanksgiving or winter break, you were off with a guy, either at his ski lodge or maybe at his mansion of a childhood home. 

Jisung couldn’t deny he was jealous. Football games with short skirts and guys surrounding you? Pictures of you in a skintight dress ready to go to some frat party. Was he going crazy? Why couldn’t he forget you and do his own thing? 

And then it hit him. Maybe if he posted pictures of him having the time of his life, you would get jealous and maybe come back during spring break (yeah right! Okay maybe Summer break…) 

So Jisung joined a fraternity. He joined the band and the soccer team. He even started going to parties, kissing girls, downing beer after beer at tailgate parties. In all the pictures he posted, he looked as if he was living every college boy's dream life! Girls left and right, a great body, acceptable enough grades! But the truth was, Jisung hated every second, because every second he couldn’t get you out of his head. 

And worst of all, he never even gained a like from you. Not one call, not one text, not even a comment. It stung like a wasp sting. How dare you ignore him like that? After everything you two had? You couldn’t even shoot him a text? 

As the music of another night of frat parties boomed against his ears, he sat back on the couch, bitter as he scrolled through your Instagram. You had gone to some kind of party that night, a picture of you in a lingerie top and very short shorts, barely covering your ass. He wished he was there to block any guys from staring at your ass. He wanted to be the only one to have the honor. 

“Why are you on your phone in a place like this?” A girl asked, plopping down beside him. He ignored her. She seemed pretty tipsy, and he didn’t want to deal with delivering another needed rejection. “Hello?” she asked, pulling away his phone. 

“Listen bitch,” Jisung snapped, snatching his phone back, “why don’t you go pass out in a ditch somewhere?” 

The girl gasped, slapping him across the face before storming off. Jisung rolled his eyes. It definitely wasn’t the first time a woman slapped him. 

“That was quite a hit,” his roommate Hyunjin chuckled, plopping down beside him. “What did you do this time?” 

“She was the one all over me,” Jisung scoffed. 

“Awfully sensitive tonight, are we?” Hyunjin snickered, snatching his phone. “this …y/n again. What’s with her? She’s what you jerk off to every night when I’m trying to sleep?” 

“Fuck off.” 

“Not a no.” 

“Fuck No. I don’t jerk off every night with you in the room,” Jisung spat, “That would be fucking weird.” 

Hyunjin took a sip of his beer before patting his shoulder, “Well you aren’t exactly normal, buddy.” 

“Is there a reason you’re sitting beside me, or do you just love annoying the fuck out of me?” 

“Think you can find somewhere to crash tonight? I got this hot babe all over me, and I want to try her out in all different positions.” 

“Yeah…” Jisung mumbled. “I got a place I can crash…” 

“Great! See ya sometime tomorrow hopefully!” Hyunjin cheered before shoving his cup of beer in Jisung’s hands and scurrying off to the other side of the room. Jisung watched as Hyunjin basically swallowed the girl's face before taking her out of the house, and Jisung threw the beer in his hand back, downing the whole thing in less than a minute. 

——

You sighed in pleasure as you pressed up against the guy standing behind you. You had a few too many drinks that night, but it only helped you finally approach the guy you’ve been crushing on since move in day. Jeong Yunho. He was tall and strong, and totally a gentleman when he helped you carry your heaviest bag up the stairs to your new dorm room. 

Ever since that day you have had a hopeless crush on him, and now here he was holding your hips as you pulled him close. It seemed to happen in an instant, but suddenly your lips and his were pressed together in a messy wet kiss. It might have been the alcohol or the long awaited encounter, but the kiss felt better then anything since… well since Jisung. 

You pulled away quickly, looking up into Yunho’s eyes. “We should take a picture?” 

“A picture?” he asked, confused. 

“Please?” you asked with puppy dog eyes. “Then I’ll let you do whatever you want to me,” you hinted, and he smiled, nodding. 

“Alright. Let’s take a picture before I mess up your hair,” he joked, and you laughed with him, leading him over to the couch, handing the phone to one of your friends. They happily took some pictures as you sat down on his lap, and suddenly he was placing a sweet kiss on your cheek. You felt your cheeks burn up before turning to peck his lips. 

The walk back to your dorm seemed like an eternity, and when you finally got your door unlocked, you and Yunho kissed each other passionately before he was carefully pushing you down on your bed. 

“You’re okay with this?” he confirmed, and you nodded, reaching over to your bedside table to pull out a whole pack of condoms before giggling. “Just don’t get me pregnant.” 

“I don’t plan on it,” he laughed back before beginning to tug at your shorts. 

From there on, the rest of the night was perfect except for the haunting fact that Jisung was still floating around in the back of your mind. Why you couldn’t get him out of your head you weren’t sure, but after spending some time with Yunho you would be okay, right?

“Are you okay?” Yunho asks softly, noticing the way that you were staring at the wall, and you slowly nodded before rolling over and curling into his bare chest. 

“M’ tired…” you mumbled, and he chuckled, petting your head. 

“Let’s get some sleep. I promise I’ll still be here when you wake up.” 

“You better…” 

—----

Jisung stumbled around the honors dorm before finding a familiar window. Slowly, his hand came up to knock on the glass and only a few seconds later it was sliding open. 

“What the fuck did I tell you about-” 

“Hey, Seungminnie…” Jisung slurred, standing there, red eyes and messed up hair. He looked absolutely fucked, whole body slumped. 

“You look like shit dude,” Seungmin said, before letting out a sigh. “Stay right there,” he ordered before closing the window and running around to collect Jisung and bring him back to the room. 

“I told you to stop knocking at my window at two in the morning,” Seungmin complained, helping Jisung walk into the building. No real heat was held in the words, but rather worry and pity for his very drunk friend. 

As Seungmin unlocked his dorm room, he practically threw Jisung on the bed, before slamming the door, sending his roommate shooting up in surprise. 

“I slept in?!” the freckled boy cried, barely awake. 

“No Felix, it's two in the morning,” Seungmin said, pushing the boy back down into his bed. Felix nodded, curling back into the sheets, his arms wrapped tightly around a plushie. 

“Am I a mother?” Seungmin mumbled to himself before turning back to continue his studying. He half expected Jisung to be already curled up in his sheets, but when he glanced over, the boy sat up straight, staring at the ground blankly. 

Seungmin sighed before moving to pat the boy on the back carefully. “...Jisung…” he called out carefully. 

“A-am I- Am I a horrible person?” Jisung asked shakily. 

Seungmin carefully began to push him to lay down. “You need to sleep,” he cooed, but Jisung grabbed his wrist, stopping him. 

“Am I?” 

“No, Jisung. You aren’t a horrible person.”

“A-am I ugly…” 

Seungmin sighed, pulling away to pull the trash bin beside his bed in case Jisung got sick. “No, Jisung, you aren’t ugly. You aren’t making any sense. You’re drunk.” 

“Why doesn’t she want me…” Jisung cried, and Seungmin rubbed his back. 

“Just get some sleep, Jisung…” 

—------

You smiled to yourself as you woke up to the feelings of Yunho’s strong arms still wrapped around your waist. You felt your heart flutter as he let out a cute little mumble as he slowly woke up. 

“Good Morning,” you smiled. 

“Good Morning,” he smiled back. “Did you sleep well?” 

“Mhmm, how about you?” you said as he reached out to push a strand of hair behind your ear, the same way Jisung did when you laid in bed together that night- 

No, stop it, you told yourself, Stop thinking about him.

“I slept well,” you agreed. 

“Look… I know this is kind of sudden, but I’ve actually kind of had my eye on you since the beginning of the semester…” 

You blushed, burying your face in his neck. “I’ve liked you since move in day…” you mumbled, and he laughed. 

“Really?” 

“Yes… Thank you for helping me move in.” 

“Well, I was just wondering… if I could take you on a date? Make you my girlfriend?” 

“You’re supposed to take me on a date before you fuck me,” you teased, before nodding. “I would love to be your girlfriend.” 

“Great… breakfast can be our first date,” he grinned happily. 

—------

“It was unbelievable, Ji! Her leg could practically tuck behind her head! That’s how flexible she was!” 

“Mhmm…” Jisung mumbled, his head tucked under the pillow to block the light from the window. He immediately regretted his decision from the night before on the walk back to his dorm. Any movement was horrible. 

“Uh…Are you okay?” Hyunjin asked uncomfortably. 

“Mhmmm.” 

“Are you just agreeing with anything I say?” 

“Mhmm…” 

Hyunjin sighed before getting up from where he was sitting on the bed. “I’m gonna go eat,” he said before leaving the room and making his way to the dining hall. Jisung groaned, getting up for a moment only to close the blinds and grabbed a painkiller pill before trying to fall asleep. 

When he woke up, his migraine had subsided a bit, and he was able to look at his phone. The notifications were mostly group messages. He had slept through soccer lifting, and the whole team was pretty worried, except for the ones who had seen him last night at the party. The band group message was pretty chaotic as always, but he never bothered to even read those. There were a few messages from Seungmin to make sure he wasn’t dead, and of course a notification that you had posted something on Instagram. 

Jisung hesitated for only a moment before he was pressing the button to send him to your profile. In your new post, there you sat, on some guys lap, your shorts as short as ever. His lips were pressed against your cheek as you smiled as large as ever. 

What did Jisung ever do to be punished so badly? 

He groaned, slapping his phone back on the nightstand before laying back and staring at the ceiling. Then his phone rang. 

Groggily, he reached for his phone, absently answering it, “Hello?” 

“Did you get home okay?” 

Jisung shot up in his bed, eyes wide. Was he hallucinating? “y-y/n?” 

“Do you not look at the caller ID before answering your phone? You really have to work on that Jisung…” you said playfully. 

“W-why are you calling me?” Jisung stuttered, “Not that I don’t want you calling me! You just haven’t said anything since summer and I don’t know…” Fuck. He was rambling. 

“Yeah…” you sighed, your tone immediately changing. “Jisung, we need to talk.” 

“We are talking!” 

“Right…” There was silence on the line, and Jisung could hear his heart beat in his ears. “Jisung, you need to forget about me.” 

Jisung’s heart fell on the floor, shattering. “W-what?” 

“Some guy dmed me. What was his name… Jin or Min or something- anyway… they said you aren’t taking care of yourself. I-” 

“Was It Hyunjin?!” 

“No, I don’t think, but you aren’t listening to me-”

“Seungmin?!” 

“Jisung, listen to what I’m saying to you,” you said firmly before continuing, “your friends are worried about you. I know the way we left off was a little bit open ended, but I have a boyfriend now, and I really think that what we did was a mistake.” 

“Y-you thought it was a mistake?” 

“You aren’t getting what I’m saying! Stop getting drunk and- what did your friend say- ‘knocking at the window at two in the morning’?” 

“My roommate keeps hooking up with girls and bringing them back to our dorm, so I can’t exactly stay at my own dorm.” 

“Well maybe you should try and hook up with someone or something. Look, I love you like a brother. I love you as a friend. Please don’t hurt yourself over something so simple as me, Sung… I worry about you. I want you to be happy.” 

Then love me back. 

“I have to go okay?” you sighed. “But please take care of yourself. Please just try and move on.” 

“I-I can’t-” 

“Goodbye, Jisung,” you interrupted before hanging up. Once the line was dead, Jisung melted into his sheets in complete emptiness. 

On the other line as you pressed the end button, you finally let a sob leave your mouth. You never wanted to break your best friend's heart, but you knew that trying to keep touch would be even more painful for him. Truely, you were doing what you thought was best. 

—----

“Why would you do that?” Jisung cried to Seungmin, storming into his room. “Why? Why?!”

“What are you talking about?” 

“You DMed y/n!” 

Seungmin finally pulled his eyes away from the screen, his chair spinning to face Jisung. “Yeah, because I’m worried about you, Jisung. You get drunk any chance you get, and then come storming in here, and cry about how you’re undateable and ugly. Maybe try and hit on a girl besides your childhood friend?” 

“That’s rich! Considering you’re probably the most virgin person I’ve ever met!” 

“That isn’t even proper grammar!” Seungmin yelled back as Jisung turned to storm off. “Stop running away! And I have had sex!” he screamed down the hall causing a few weird looks. 

He blushed a bright red, bowing to the people before returning back to his room, and slamming the door. 

—--

The summer after the semester had ended, the drive back to your childhood home held nothing but anxiety. You hoped that the Han’s had moved or that maybe Jisung had picked up one of those summer travel programs, but you knew that it was a far off dream. 

Jisung was going to be home and you were screwed. 

As your parents pulled into the driveway, you took a deep breath preparing yourself for the Han’s to come over and fuss about how you were like they always did. It was a sweet family no doubt. A happy couple with two sons… how could it not be? You didn’t want any part of them right now though. You wanted to avoid them like the plague. 

Luckily, it didn’t look like they were home. Maybe they were picking up Jisung as you arrived, and they hadn’t been back yet. You didn’t really care though, as long as you didn’t have to face Jisung. 

“My little sis!” your brother suddenly cheered, bursting out of the house, wrapping his arms around your neck. 

“You’re choking me!” you complained, elbowing him in the stomach. 

“Ow!” he complained, and you rolled your eyes, pushing past him into the house. “No ‘hey, bro!’?” 

“No! Now leave me alone,” you said, running up to your room, leaving your brother in a confused daze. 

Later that night, you finally settled into your bed, pillow tucked between your legs, stuffy hugged into your chest and everything. You let out a sigh of relief. It had been forever since you slept in such a way, your stuffies left behind like the rest of your teenage years. You were more than happy to be reunited with Mr. Snuggles the teddy bear. 

Just as you fell into a shallow sleep, a sudden knock at the window woke you up. Half asleep and somewhat groggy, you walked over to answer it without much thought, but as the glass pane slid up, a figure pushed in, practically tackling you in a hug. 

As you stood there in a sleep haze, you almost mistook it as Jisung, almost wished it was Jisung, but when the face finally moved into the moonlight and you came to your senses you realized it was your high school best friend, Ryujin, standing there. 

You let out a squeal of happiness, squeezing the girl tightly. “Ryujin!” 

“Sorry for pulling a creepy window entrance! Didn’t want to wake Mom and Dad… I just got back from school!” 

“And?” you smiled. “Good as you hoped?” 

“Better!” 

“Oh! I’m glad, Ryu!” you smiled. 

“And you?” she asked eagerly. “I’ve seen your instagram. You seem pretty busy,” she giggled. 

“Well.. I did have a boyfriend…” you blushed. 

“Wait, hold up, did?” 

“It’s a long story…” you mumbled, climbing back in bed, and Ryujin crawled in beside you. 

“And Ji?” 

You frowned, “Don’t even get me started… I had to break his heart in order for him to move on…” 

“He’s moved on?” Ryujin asked, not believing it at all. 

“Well… at least I hope.” 

“That’s okay. Ji loves you, he won’t hold a grudge!” 

“That’s what I’m scared of Ryu…” you sighed. “Long distance dating in college just isn’t possible…” 

Deep down you wish it was. 

—---

You should have expected that your parents would decide to host a summer picnic and invite the Hans. 

It was all lined up so nicely, or at least it would have been if you hadn’t slept with your best friend. Both mothers happily prepared the food in the kitchen, the fathers drinking beers and grilling, and both older brothers played video games somewhere upstairs. You unfortunately were locked up in your room watching from the window as Jisung moved awkwardly from one leg to another as he stood beside his father. 

“y/n! Come down and say hello to Jisung!” your mother called from the kitchen, but you didn’t budge from your pink bean bag chair. You continued to avoid going down before you heard footsteps begin to climb 

“I-I’m changing!” you panicked. 

“Really? You’ve been changed for the last hour?!” your mother doubtfully asked from the other side of the door. 

“Trying to find the right outfit!” 

Suddenly your door was flying open, and you let out a cry of surprise. “Did you just lie to your mother?” 

Your silence gave her the answer she was looking for, before nudging Jisung into your room. “I don’t know what kind of argument you two got in but talk it out!” she warned, slamming the door behind her. 

Jisung shamefully sat on your bed, not speaking a word, as you stared out your window, refusing to look at him. It was silent, as he tried to look at anything but you, trying to keep his eyes away from your sundress and how the skirt was riding up to reveal a peek of your panties due to the way you were sitting. 

“You can leave, you know,” you spoke softly. 

“Yeah, I don’t think your mother will let me,” he snapped. 

You continued to avoid eye contact at any cost, staring at your wall or the ceiling fan that was going on full speed. 

You sighed before finally speaking up. “It’s really hot outside…” 

Jisung said nothing, looking away from you. 

“You look like you’ve been working out a lot…” you said, trying to start a conversation. “You play soccer right…?” You sucked in a breath, sitting down beside him. “I guess I should know that, huh?” 

Nothing. 

“Did you pick a major yet?” you asked, reaching for his hand, but he immediately pulled away. 

“Don’t. You don’t get to play catch-up after telling me to fuck off.” 

“I never said that…” you argued weekly, looking at him with big apologetic eyes. 

“I can’t do this,” he muttered to himself, getting up. 

“Jisung, wait!” you cried, moving to hug his waist, stopping him from leaving. “I’m sorry! I-I didn’t mean for this to happen!” 

“What? For me to finally be over you?!” 

“I never wanted to lose a friend!” you cried, tears pooling in your eyes. “I never wanted to lose you.” 

“I have enough fucking friends. I don’t need any more.” 

“Jisung, please!” 

“Cause I’m just a mistake, right?” 

“I didn’t mean to say it like that! I made a mistake! Please! I’m sorry…” you cried desperately, clinging onto him for dear life. “I didn’t mean it. I didn’t.” 

“So what? We’re supposed to go back to being friends? After you brutally rejected me and then ghosted me for a whole fucking year?” Jisung cried, prying your arms off his waist, and opening your door. 

“I said I was sorry!” you cried, running after him as he rushed down the staircase and out the front door. “Please just hear me out! I’m trying to apologize!” 

“Well I don’t have to accept your apology!” Jisung spat back. 

“Jisung!” you cried, your feet burning against the hot asphalt as you both crossed the road back to his house. “Jisung!” 

“No! I was in love with you! Don’t you get that?! And you basically told me to fuck off and that fucking me was a mistake! I’m just supposed to fucking forgive you for that?!” 

“I was doing it to protect us! Don’t you get that?!” 

“I don’t need protection! I’m an adult!” 

“I was trying to forget you!” You cried. “Because I know that long distance never works! Someone cheats, or you fall out with each other, or you end up developing trust issues and arguing over nothing and it’s not worth it!” 

“It would have been worth it for me!” Jisung snapped back. 

“I didn’t want to lose you as my best friend! I thought maybe if I was a bitch to you then you’d just forget about me, not hate me! I-I love you, Jisung! I don’t want to hurt you-” 

Suddenly Jisung cut off your words with a deep and desperate kiss. All he needed to hear were the words ‘I love you’. Not something about a past love, a past friendship, but current desperate love that you still held in your heart. 

You almost immediately gave in, wrapping your arms around his neck and pulling him closer to deepen the kiss. 

“You have a boyfriend…” Jisung mumbled against your lips, but you shook your head. 

“We broke up…” you looked up into Jisung’s pretty brown eyes. “He wasn’t you…” 

“So… you were trying to replace me?” Jisung said, a cocky smile suddenly growing on his face, but you shook your head once again. 

“No one can replace you, Han Jisung.” 

Tags: [ @chanscoffee @buggy-blogs  @corruption-skz @hannie-squirrel00​ @ch8nstay​  ]

[Let me know if you want to be added to the tag list or removed.]

#Han scenario #han oneshot #han angst #han smut #han jisung blurb #han jisung oneshot #han jisung scenario #han jisung angst #han jisung smut #han jisung fluff #han jisung #han jisung college au #han jisung college #stray kids au #stray kids school au #stray kids college au #skz school au #skz school #skz college au #skz college #skz uni au #skz uni #uni au #college au #han jisung au

[thinkingaboutyoungroyals]

I’ve re-watched “Young Royals” so many times and each rewatch just never fails to astound me. This is one of the most beautiful stories I’ve ever seen in a teen drama. Yes, it’s trope-y, there’s no avoiding that. And it’s not a perfect show. But, it managed one thing that many teen dramas often struggle with: authenticity.

All the characters, yes, including August, are all so well thought out and no one is one-dimensional. They’re all flawed. They have their own morals and beliefs that they either embrace or reject. They have their own background stories and motivations for their actions. Not to mention, the teens? They act like teens! They go to school, hang out with friends, complain about their families, have crushes, and take part in hobbies. 

And none of them look like they’re about to walk a runway! They have acne and scars and messy hair.

The costumes, man! The kids wear regular, comfortable clothes that are still fashionable and appropriate for school. Yes, the rich kids are wearing designer names that scream “money!” (I noticed the Calvin Klein logo in one of Wilhelm’s sweatshirts) but that’s the thing — they’re subtle without being in your face. Even the girls’ makeup looks like the actresses themselves did their own makeup!

And don’t get me started on the relationships! All the relationships! Familial! Platonic! Romantic!

Wilhelm clearly loves his parents but he’s the second born. The spare. Most of the attention growing up was most likely on Erik. And Wilhelm most likely felt invisible, which was just fine with him, he doesn’t like the attention… until Erik died and Wilhelm became crown prince. Suddenly, all the attention that their parents gave Erik was given to him and it wasn’t the good kind. They have expectations for him now. Big ones. I don’t think Wilhelm’s parents are homophobic, not at all. His mother seemed sympathetic towards him after the video came out. But, at the end of the day, she was still the Queen and she had to make choices for the good of the Crown. And, unfortunately, that clearly took precedence over her role as a mother.

Simon and Sara’s dad made some wrong choices and lost his family in the process. And although Simon seemed more forgiving, Sara is clearly not. Micke tries to get back in Simon’s good graces by getting him the booze for the party but freaks out when he thought Simon was using drugs. And even Linda, best mom ever, clashes with Sara, who believes that their mother isn’t doing enough for them. We, the audience, sees that she is and Simon does, too, but Sara feels that it’s not enough and Linda doesn’t even try to fight her on it.

And Felice clearly loves her mom and struggles to meet her expectations but is getting choked in the process (’quite literally). It makes me wonder if her initially going after Wilhelm is because her mother is pressuring her to get with the prince. During parents’ day, her mother asked after Wilhelm, not Felice. And Felice realizes pretty quickly how toxic her mother is but, in the beginning, there wasn’t much she could do but go along with it. But, slowly and surely, she starts breaking away, starting with refusing to wear her mother’s dress and refusing to be Lucia and giving it to Sara, who actually wanted it.

And there’s August’s obvious distaste of his mother’s boyfriend and his rocky relationship with her after his father’s suicide. August is still clearly grieving while his mother seemed to have already moved on. And although this doesn’t excuse August’s actions, it shows his motivation and how strongly he’s holding on to whatever sort of control he can get his hands on: the rowing team, his status in school as prefect, and Wilhelm.

(More under the cut cause this was longer than I anticipated.)

I can’t talk about “Young Royals” without talking about Wilhelm and Simon’s relationship. The way it started because Simon spoke up in class about the unfairness of the law when it comes to welfare scams and tax evasions. Wilhelm’s whole life was probably filled with fake friends, people who only wanted him for his connections or to elevate their own status. In a sea of fake people, Simon was authentic. He never pretended to be anything he was not. And I can see why that must be intriguing to Wilhelm and he pursues him without even realizing it. He’s drawn to Simon and not just ‘cause he’s cute and has the voice of an angel.

And they got the actual way teenagers act when confronted by feelings for a crush. They watch and long from a distance. They shyly try to get close but get overwhelmed at any hint of reciprocation. The careful hesitation at that first kiss. The heartbreak of the possibility that you read the signs wrong. The giddiness of that first relationship. Yes, they do have sex from the get-go but the relationship itself was not sexual — it was innocent, sweet, and full of adoration.

They even have a fairly healthy relationship! They communicate and talk about their feelings. They don’t let things fester. When Wilhelm realizes he’s hurt Simon, he apologizes. And Simon, even if he may not understand Wilhelm’s motivations, tries to do so, anyway. They have so much respect for each other. They had a relationship that stemmed from friendship and trust.  

That’s what makes the eventual reality setting in hit hard. Because we suddenly remember that Wilhelm is no ordinary boy — he’s a prince. He’s in love with a commoner who also happens to be another boy. I don’t know what it’s like to live under a monarchy but I can imagine that even if the actual people they rule don’t care if their crown prince likes boys, the monarchy is still set in their traditional ways.

And these boys, who are experiencing love and a relationship for the first time had theirs marred by the violation of their first time and the expectations of the crown. Not to mention, they’re teenagers! That’s traumatizing for both of them! 

Suffice to say, I’m glad we have this piece of media that, despite it about being about royalty and nobility and rich kids, it’s enjoyable to watch because it’s incredibly relatable and real.

When you see these characters, you see your peers and people you’ve grown up with. You can even see yourself. 

And that, my friends, is why we need a season 2.

#young royals #i really had no idea how else to end this essay lol

[gb-patch]

Ask Answers: April 13th, 2021

And we’re back again with more replies so soon, haha. Thank you for the asks!

Your game literally saved me this hell ass year. Thank you so much for the most perfect piece of art I've ever laid eyes on 😫 ... Do you guys have a rough idea when step 3 DLC will be released? I hope I'm not coming off as rude. I just really really love your game.

I’m sorry for the late reply on this! You might’ve already seen the answer by now, but the Step 3 DLC is coming out on the 16th. We’re almost there :D

This may be a silly question but did Jeremy's parents ever find out that Pran had lied about his age and if so, when/how? :3

Pran came clean to them after a couple of years, when he felt secure enough that it wouldn’t ruin the relationship. The Kings were a little embarrassed, the dad more than the mom, but they’re quite good at brushing past those kind of mistakes so it was all water under the bridge pretty fast.

hi! i know you’ve answered a question about alterations in the our life moments by playing them in different orders, but i was wondering if there was a canon order that the moments for each step happen in? i figure with such a customizable game the “canon” timeline for the moments is whatever order the player completes them in, for example in step 1, i like playing the runaway moment pretty early, since cove trying to run away early in summer makes more sense to me personally. thanks!

Yeah, there’s no canon order we’d insist on. Whatever you like can be the official route for you! And that’s a neat way to look at that event.

What if your character isn’t that into physical contact but still wants to be in a relationship with Cove? Would he be offended if you shy away or something along those lines?

He wouldn’t be. Cove knows how hard that can be and is very understanding. If you set his initiative to low, the game always checks to make sure if you want to be touched or not rather than assuming that you do. And if you do choose that you don’t want to, there’s no stress or drama about it. Cove will just say that’s okay!

Hellu! First off, I want to thank you all for such a wonderful game, it's been the best feel-good game I've ever stumbled upon and I can't express enough how much it has meant to me. Second, I've seen lots of people having trouble with making Cove confess before MC which makes me wonder if people will have the same problem in the dlc when you can propose to him. Is it possible to post a guide for that as well when it no longer could count as a spoiler? Again, thanks for such a beautiful game <3

I’m really happy you had such a nice time with it c:. We’ll answer questions about it on tumblr/in the discord if they come up and, if need be, we’ll find somewhere to upload a guide.

Do we get steam key from buying dlc on itch io?

I’m afraid not. That’d be unfair to those who get it on Steam. Plus, Steam isn’t super cool with giving out thousands of keys to be handed out for free on other sites anymore. They can refuse to give us the keys if they feel we’re trying to take advantage of their system.

hi! so if we reject cove's confession in step 3, can we still have MC and cove get together in step 4?

You can confess to him, yeah. But Cove won’t ever try confessing again if the MC turns him down in Step 3.

What if MC acts like someone Cove doesn't like, like Lizzie or Baxter lol

You can’t do what Lizzie or Baxter does to make Cove dislike them. You can play the game and try, but it doesn’t work out. The MC is just too compatible with Cove if you’re fond/crush/love, haha.

Hi! I absolutely love your game, I love the characters they’re all so amazing, thank you for the game haha

I was wondering if you would get the NSFW DLC no matter what Patreon level you were at, or if you would could get it at any level? :)

&

What pateron tier do we need to get the 18+ content for Our Life? It's my new favourite game, keep up the good work!

It will eventually be available at the $5 tier and anything above that! Glad you both like OL ^^

On a scale from 1 (being the worst) to 10, how well do the XOXO jerk squad including JB handle horror?

JB: 8

Everett: 5

Nate: 4

Shiloh: 10

Bae: 10

Jeremy: 8 for non-gore horror, 2 for gory horror

Pran: 9

hello!! i was wondering if any of the boys from the Jerksquad would ever wear a skirt/dress?

None of them wear skirts/dresses out of personal preference. But if there was some kind of reason where they had to do it, none would be that bothered.

How does the jerk squad feel about Christmas? 

Everett: He fucking loves it. That’s the best time of year.

Nate: Commercialized nonsense.

Shiloh: It’s wonderful! So he claims.

Bae: He likes it quite a bit, but only for the joy it brings children/family. He thinks that’s sweet but is too mature to be whipped up into a festive fervor himself.

Jeremy: It’s awful.

Pran: He hates it.

does cove have any pet allergies? yes I know this is a little weirdly specific

He doesn’t! The lucky boy isn’t allergic to any animal.

Very important question: Would Lee and a musical-theatre loving MC run around belting Into The Unknown from Frozen 2? Because I feel that they would 

Probably, haha.

This might seem like a dumb question, so I’m sorry, but with the Derek DLC are we gonna get to hang out with him in person instead of just calling him in step 3? 

The Derek DLC adds events in Step 2 and Step 4. It’s part of his story that you don’t really get to be around him in Step 3. But you don’t need to apologize for wondering!

hello! i'd like to ask if it's possible to play the android version of the game with the dlcs after buying the dlcs from steam. i wasn't expecting my android version to have my dlcs since i bought them from steam, but it had my step 2 dlc for some reason. is this a glitch or does the apk actually detect what dlcs you already have on your pc? if so, how come i don't have the step 1 dlc appearing on android? thanks!

That is some kind of glitch. It isn’t possible for the Android DLCs to be unlocked by having them on PC. Maybe in one of the old builds we accidentally didn’t lock the Step 2 DLC properly. Sorry for the confusion!

Does Derek and Baxter have canon sexualities? Will Derek still flirts with the MC regardless of their gender?

They’re both pansexual and can like the MC regardless of what gender they have.

I was wondering if Miranda had a crush on Cove in Step 3? I'm not sure why, but I got those vibes from her?

She thinks of him only as a friend. Cove isn’t her type, haha.

This is probably a dumb hope, but I hope Cliff find someone he loves after Cove is grown up and everything. Or at the very least he has someone he's very close with after Cove leaves. 

That’s a really sweet thought to have. Cliff stays single, but he’s graysexual and not-particularly romantically inclined. He only dated when he was really young ‘cause that’s what everyone did. Family and friend relationships are more important to him, and he has plenty of that in his life ^^.

Heya! I was curious if there might be a nickname system in N&F? I kind of pull an Elizabeth when I play and choose a different variation of a name like having Rosie in step one and changing it to Rose in step two, then maybe Rosetta in step three for example, but it also feels a little bit odd being scolded using my nickname hehe. That's all I was wondering about, thank you for your time and the wonderful games!

We are hoping to include the option to go by a nickname in Our Life: Now & Forever. But nothing has been programmed yet, so we can’t 100% guarantee it, haha.

Just curious, what would Liz's and Cove's relationship be if MC wasn't around? I feel like they wouldn't get along as well as they do now, especially during the first and second step 

They’d definitely have a lot of friction growing up and they’d likely avoid each other as much as possible. Once they were both older, I imagine they’d be decent neighbor acquaintances. But they still wouldn’t be nearly as close as they are with the MC bringing Cove into things.

What do the customizable eyes look like in the game? Do they look as they are in the creating avatar section? Or do they look different when actually playing the game?

That’s up to you! The doll is just meant to be a general idea. You can apply it to your imagined MC as much or as little as you prefer.

Did Cove go through a "phase" during his adolescence? I don't really wanna headcanon it so I wonder if there's anything (cringy) canon since we missed out on the ages of 14-17 hahaha

Not really, aha. 14-17 Cove is pretty recognizable to his 13 and 18 year old self.

Hello! I'm sorry to bother you, especially with all the messages you get. I was just wondering if the religious wedding venue was exclusive to a church or if there will be different religions of weddings? Also, I love this VN so much, it's so well written and every character is so amazing, thank you for making such a beautiful game.

The church is treated as a historic building rather than anything actively religious, but it’s not the only option like that. There’s a historic synagogue and stuff too! And that’s really nice of you to say <3.

How differently would it play out If MC told their moms about the 20$ deal back when it happened? 

They wouldn’t have been happy and would’ve been far more skeptical of Cliff, aha. But they wouldn’t want to keep Cove away from the MC, so it wouldn’t have been too different in the long run.  

Hello may I ask what Cove's favorite fudge/ice cream flavor would be? Its alright if its not answered 

He appreciates them all, but his top favorites would be the fruit flavored ones and the ones with nuts.

Hi! I really wanted to make mc's house in a game and tried really hard to figure out the floor plan, but I wondered if you have the floor plan of the mc's house so that i can try again with more accuracy?

Thank you a lot for this game, i loved it a lot! (my first play took me 8 hours lol)

I’m really sorry, we don’t have anything like that. But at least you can headcanon that what you did is correct and nothing can prove it wrong, haha.

Hello,I recently started playing lake of voices (I put it off for a long while since I’m usually not very good with horror) and I’m really happy I did!I’m a big fan of your games in general and lake of voices was absolutely great as well.I loved the characters and the dark setting of it,I adored the beautiful art and music and the story was great too,sometimes unsettling and sometimes very sweet.My favorite Route in the game was definitely Lu,I liked his character and was really shocked and distraught by his Route at least two times.I didn’t see the plot twist(s) coming at all!

Besides these ramblings I’ve also wanted to ask if you still remember how to get the lower two CGs on page 5?I seem to always miss them and would appreciate any help.Anyways I hope I wasn’t too much of a bother and I wish the devs a great day!:)

Thank you for all the kind words <3. You get those DLCs by going through the end of the Guide’s character path. You can use the guides on Steam to help you find it/reach the end!

—– —– —– —–

Thank you again for all of these questions :D

We released a new FAQ! It answers common questions and we’ll keep adding more to it. Please check there before sending an ask. FAQ   Also, if you prefer to just see the main posts without all the asks/reblogs, feel free to follow our side account instead: GB Patch Updates Blog

#our life #xoxo droplets #lake of voices #ask #Our Life Beginnings & Always #ourlifeba #gb patch #gb patch games

[adonis-koo]

to the moon and back

Summary: Sometimes the distance in relationships really does make a strain and sometimes...it can really make quite the experience, at least in your experience with your boyfriend who only lives half way across the world...

Pairing: Jungkook/Reader, theres like,,,implied Taehyung/Reader if you really squint

Genre: angst, smut,

Word Count: 6.4k

Tags: long distance relationship that I accidentally projected way too much of my own personal experience into 😃, Jungkook just really loves MC, skype sex, I am sorry, mutual masturbation, a little praise kink, Jungkook says baby in korean a lot and once again I am sorry, sex toys, a lil overstim, nothing too crazy tbh, dirty talk, dom!jungkook and sub!MC 🤑

Note: I missed ldr!Jungkook and MC which is based off this sorta imagine I did for them! So I cured it by writing a lil bit about them!! :)

“Hey Jungkook…” 

The said man in question suddenly perked up from where he had been looking down, half his hair tied up and he was rubbing his eyes, he looked tired these days and sometimes you couldn’t help but feel bad. Long distance relationships weren’t always what they were cracked up to be and it wasn’t like you were intentionally looking for a ball and chain at the time...

But well, it was a long night, you were slightly drunk and in a long dry spell so you thought, what the hell? When you signed up for a sub/dom dating website. Again, your intentions weren’t to actually date someone, you were just slightly drunk and horny, and waking up the morning after your phone had been blown up by your now boyfriend. It was innocent at first, you both had a good laugh (to somewhat of your embarrassment) about the whole drunk thing and you were just curious to get to know him. 

It was from there you had learned he lived halfway across the planet in South Korea and not only this but when you began exchanging photos he was by far the most beautiful man you had ever seen. One thing led to another and eventually you both decided to make it official. 

You were used to this of course, you had never actually met him in person and sometimes you felt a little apprehensive to do so, you knew it would hurt Jungkook severely if he ever found out but still...sometimes it felt like you just didn’t know him as much as you wanted too. 

Time zones were a literal hell, by the time you woke up he was getting ready to sleep and most the time texts weren’t sent until the next day, video calls were rare and usually had to wait until the weekend. It sucked. 

Jungkook, if anything, had been trying to convince you to at least fly out to see him, he even offered to pay for your ticket as he was- ahem- apparently in the chain of business for a really well known exports corporation and was a supervisor so he lived very well off in comparison to yourself, who was still in college and buried in debt with little to no money left outside of the expenses of living. 

But again, you were just...nervous...flying by yourself, to a country you had never been too, to meet a man you had never met...You knew realistically everything would be fine, Jungkook was exactly who he said he was, he wasn’t some criminal that was going to murder you and sell your body parts on the black market but…! You just wanted to be safe! To be careful even if that would never happen. 

“Hm?” Jungkook hummed, it was a late saturday night for him but he always stayed up just for you, just to be able to talk to you, to see your face, even if you went hours not talking to one another while he worked and you studied. He told you he just enjoyed looking over at his monitor and seeing you.

Currently you had been curled up on your pillow scrolling on your phone and occasionally admiring your boyfriend’s side profile and strands of hair long hair that fell from his face, “Why did you learn English?”

Jungkook raised his brow a little before suddenly laughing causing you to shift a little in embarrassment feeling as though you had said something dumb, “Well,” He rasped a little, he had been brushing up on his english ever since you started dating but he was also a little self conscious of his accent despite you saying several times over how much you adored it, “English is mandatory to learn in school but I learned extensively due to my family traveling a lot for business and work. I once spent a whole year in New York when my father was employed overseas, that was actually how I became so fluent, classes are fine but experience always teaches best in my opinion....” Jungkook’s lips curled into a smile as he hummed once more, “Which means your studies in Korean would be easier if you visited…” 

Flustered you rolled onto your back as you pressed your pillow against your face, “Jungkook…!” You whined wiggling in your best as you heard his laugh filter through the speaker, “I need you know I really need to stay and study for my finals, it makes up for over forty percent of my grade!” 

“Not even for winter break?” Jungkook let his lips jut into a pout as he laid his chin against his hand, “Jagi I have a bed that’s way too big to sleep in all by myself, are you gonna make me downgrade?” He sighed dramatically as he fell back in his computer chair pulling his hair tie out as his hair fell at his cheeks as he began to fix it. 

You ignored the heat immediately flushing between your legs at the deep rasp of his voice, “My mom’s expecting me to come home to visit for the holidays Koo…” You frowned as you peeped out from behind your pillow to find the massive pout on your boyfriend's face as he sunk in his seat. 

“Sometimes I think you’re just embarrassed to tell people we’re in a relationship,” Jungkook mumbled as he sat up in his seat, running his fingers through his hair as he sulked, obviously trying not to let your rejection make him upset but even through a screen you could always read his moods, sometimes too easily. 

“That is not true!” Your voice was immediately serious as you sat up, fixing your laptop as you set it in front of you, Jungkook was once more slouched in his seat, his hand resting on his cheek as he looked away from the screen, “That is not true Jungkook, I-...” You sighed, “I can’t just drop all my responsibilities here to visit you, you know this, you know hard I’ve been studying for finals and how much my family has been wanting to see me…” 

Jungkook didn’t reply for a moment but you could’ve sworn you heard something akin to a scoff escape his lips, “But you still haven’t told your family...have you?” 

“I haven’t had the chance…” You were immediately trying to defend your reasoning when deep down you felt bad that well...he was right...to a degree, but what were you supposed to tell you family? You met your boyfriend on an offshoot website based around sexual play and not only this but he lived half way around the world. 

“You talk to your mom on the phone weekly Y/n,” The longer Jungkook looked away from the screen the more upset he was getting and you could tell and yet you felt so helpless, it wasn’t like you could just reach over and grab his face, or simply hug him and apologize. Once again, you found yourself at a loss of what to do or say. 

It wasn’t that you wished you hadn’t met Jungkook, you’d never in your life change that night, but sometimes you wished things weren’t so complicated and that your fears wouldn’t get the best of you. And you did speak some truth, even if you weren’t nervous to meet Jungkook in person, it didn’t change the fact that you wouldn’t be able to go now with finals approaching and your family expecting you for the holidays.

“I’m just,” Jungkook inhaled sharply before letting out a sigh, “I just feel so frustrated sometimes, I want to be with you, not part time, half time, or only at night. I want to wake up with you in my arms every single day. And I can’t do that, hell I can’t even get a phone call during the week let alone a text at the same time of day if I’m lucky. We just had a work party where everyone brought their partners and I couldn’t bring mine because she lives in America.” 

His upset was beginning to make you upset, it felt like your gut was being grinded and it wrenched in an unpleasant feeling as you spoke, “Look I’m sorry okay? I can’t help it that this is where I live, I understand you want to be with me, you don’t think I want the same thing?” You put your hand on your chest, trying to keep your voice level as you swallowed harshly, “But right now, I can’t help it Jungkook. The holidays just aren’t a good time right now…” 

“Then what was the excuse during the end of the summer when you weren’t even in school and your parents didn’t want to see you?” Jungkook replied, his jaw clenched and hurt in his eyes as he questioned you, “Or was it still because you were sick in the middle of july?” 

“I just met you!” You cried out now beginning to feel genuinely hurt at your boyfriend questioning the sincerity of your feelings, “I wasn’t going to fly out to Korea to meet someone I had only been talking to for three weeks! Jungkook this is-” 

“I’m not embarrassed to be with you! God, that is literally the last thing on my mind right now! I’m embarrassed at the way we met, I’m embarrassed that I- I somehow have to explain to my family that my boyfriend lives in South Korea and that I’ve never met him and somehow explain to them that you aren’t some serial rapist or human trafficker out to sell my kidney! Because that’s exactly what I’m going to hear! And I’m sorry I just haven’t been ready to deal with that!” You couldn’t even stop the tears from flowing down your face as you pressed your hands to your eyes, “It’s easy for you to talk about us because you’re an adult who lives debt free by himself in his own apartment with your own secure job and you don’t have to answer or deal with anyone, even your own parents! That’s not how it is for me Jungkook.” 

Your head was lowered as you tried to muffle your sobs that was the only thing that filled the loud silence that filtered the air, running your hands through your hair as you took a breath. You could hear a sigh on the other side before Jungkook spoke, “Y/n…” 

“You know what,” You sniffled as you straightened up, “I’m not in the mood to talk anymore,” 

“Y/n! No! Jagi listen-” 

“No I’m done!” You argued back as you wiped your face with the sleeve of your hoody, “I don’t want to talk to you right now. Goodnight.” You clicked the end call button before closing down your laptop. Sitting now, staring at your distinct reflection on the black screen before bursting into a new set of tears. 

Your phone’s ringtone was immediately set off as you sobbed, picking it up as you harshly punched the decline call button before it quickly popped back up on the screen only for you to press it even more vehemently. Your phone lit up several times being flooded with messages from Jungkook trying to convince you to talk to him but you immediately turned off your phone as you collapsed back against your bed, weeping against your pillow as you tried to ignore the pure hurt that filtered your veins despite it being justified. 

God you shouldn’t have even said any of that to Jungkook! Really it was your fault you hadn’t seen him, you had made excuses all because you were just scared. He was probably going to break up with you now...Squeezing your pillow tight you closed your eyes as you muffled your sobs. 

“Girl why are you staring at your phone?” Lisa sighed in exasperation, “Don’t tell me…Oh shit…” She sighed as she watched your eyes begin to pitfully water, “What was it this time?” 

“I’m a horrible person be-because I can’t just fucking suck it up and tell my family about my boyfriend and- and I can’t just go visit him!” You were already wiping your eyes despite not even crying yet and you refused to ruin your mascara in a public store. The bookstore was quiet as ever and the barista who worked the cafe was still sorting magazines out on the rack not even paying attention to you both but still you had to keep up your ideals or else you’d be crying all the time. 

“You are not a horrible person oh my god!” Lisa raised her brows before scoffing, she pointed a long acrylic nail at you as she spoke, “That boy needs to calm his hormones, you are strapped for the rest of the holidays. Y/n! Come on, seriously you need to draw some boundaries with him! Just be honest and it’s going to save you both a lot of trouble.” 

You sunk in your seat as your lips began to tremble making Lisa sigh, “How many messages did he send this time?” 

“Twenty four.” You mumbled. 

“Jesus Christ.” Lisa groaned as she pressed her hand against her forehead, her bangs which had been melded together with hairspray not even moving an inch, “What even started this fight!?” 

Lisa was not only your closest friend but most times she was also your voice of reason which you knew was most times right but still you couldn’t help but feel embarrassed as you twirled your straw that poked through the lid of your iced coffee, “Well it was innocent at first, I just asked him why he learned English when he was younger and it translated into him saying experience taught him best which meant going to Korea would help me with my own language studies.” 

“Why can’t you just be honest with him!? Seriously! Y/n!” She gave you her premium disappointed look as you whined, kicking your feet as you covered your hands over your face knowing she was right, but!

“That would literally crush him!” You replied feeling defeated as you slumped in your seat once more, sighing as sadness filled you, “It feels like…” You poked your tongue into your cheek as you exhaled in frustration, “No matter how hard I try, I just always end up hurting him. Jungkook would be so hurt if he knew my main reason for not wanting to see him.” 

Lisa raised her brows as she scoffed, “No he would not! If he’s so desperate to jump on your pussy he’ll come to America and not only meet you but he’ll be meeting me as well the first time. This relationship is a two way street Y/n-” 

“He has a whole team he’s managing Lisa, he’s told me he’d visit if he could schedule the time off but-” 

“All I hear is an excuse,” Lisa clacked her tongue, “Fair is fair, you’re just being cautious as anyone should be when they’re talking to someone over the internet,” She curved a brow before snorting as she sipped her drink, “Now listen, do I think he’s a kidnapper that’s gonna kill you? No. Do I think he’s a fuckboy that just really wants to smash you? Maybe, it’s your relationship. Do what you want but regardless of whether your reasoning is legit he should respect it regardless.” 

You deflated as you sighed, scrolling through his messages where he had profusely apologized several times and went on to explain that he just really wanted to be with you and never meant to dismiss your feelings on the matter. You hadn’t replied yet which made you feel even worse but truthfully, you just really wanted to talk to see him tonight on a video call and talk things over. 

“Anyways, it’s time to boss up bitch,” Lisa pulled out the three textbooks from her bag before dropping them on the table as she offered a smile, “We got finals to prep for, we’re in the two week countdown so we need to cram as much as possible.” 

Sighing you glanced down at your phone one last time before turning it off knowing the temptation to look over Jungkook’s messages would be too tempting. Putting your phone away you pulled out your notebook along with your own textbooks as you nodded, “You’re right, it’ll at least take my mind off of it…” 

You could only hope. 

You had spent the last ten minutes trying to gas yourself up, Jungkook had stopped texting around lunch time having obviously given up and giving you space as this wasn’t the first time something like this had happened and he knew if he just gave you time you’d eventually reach out to him. 

Like right now, except you felt severely embarrassed for your actions this morning and you knew you could have handled things in a better and more mature way then you had, regardless you were struggling to even send a text at the moment let alone video call him...Checking the clock on your phone you sighed, it was already 1pm in Seoul....

Jungkook if anything was probably on his computer sulking while playing video games as he usually did on his weekends off when he wasn’t talking to you. Sucking in a breath you knew you needed to talk to him now because if you didn’t you’d have to go the whole week with stale texts that never went over well and you weren’t working with much to begin with, you didn’t want to make it worse. Sighing, you sat down on your bed as you began to type.

[10:25]

‘I’m sorry I haven’t replied to any of your messages :( can you video right now?’

You chewed on your lip anxiety immediately spiking in your head as you wondered if you came across too much like a victim...Or maybe you should’ve just not mentioned the not replying to his messages and just asked if- 

You nearly jumped out of your skin at the sound of the skype call sounding with Jungkook’s name under it, grabbing your chest you collapsed onto the bed as you made yourself comfortable, shying away from the camera as you grabbed your pillow in insecurity before accepting the call. 

“I really am sorry Jagi,” You couldn’t even open your mouth before Jungkook’s worried expression showed up on your laptop, the hoodie covering his head and just as you expected his puppy like eyes were glossed and filled with sadness, “I- I didn’t realize how much stress you were under and I shouldn’t have been so careless. This is the only time during the week that I get to see you and I really don’t want to argue…” 

You curled up against your pillow as you mumbled, “I should be the one apologizing, I know how much it means to you for us to be able to see each other in person and I need to make the time for us to be able to do that it’s just…” You had meant to tell him the truth but- “I just have a lot going on right now but I didn’t mean to take that out on you, I know you just want us to be together...” 

“Oh jagiya,” Jungkook sighed, longing filled his face and his fingers twitched a little as they ran through his hair as if wishing he could just hold you close to him, “It’s okay, I’m just glad you wanted to talk. I didn’t want the whole week to drag by without being able to talk to you, you know you always make my day better…” 

And just like that your chest blossomed with warmth as you curled up, hiding the smile that began to creep on your lips as you squeezed your pillow, “Not as much as you make my day. Especially when you send those tease pictures for me right before I need to go to bed.” You would never get enough of that addictive feeling of talking to Jungkook, his smile was always infectious.

And just like that you watch, just like every other time, in amazement at the way Jungkook’s personality switches like a light, the innocent sweet smile that was once on his lips is suddenly twisted into a cocky smirk and he leans back his chair, his long hair is slightly messy but just enough to make him look truly wicked, “Oh? Is that right gongjunim? I thought you’d appreciate it?” 

Said photo in question was sent thursday night when you were prepping for bed and Jungkook had very obviously just gotten out of the shower in the mirror selfie he had sent that displayed the chiseled abdomen and broad chest and not to mention the….ahem package he was sporting beneath the thin towel that he had purposely clutched with his free hand. 

Yeah...that nearly destroyed your right hand. 

“Well I did…” You immediately coiled up, no matter how many times this happens with your boyfriend- which is nearly every weekend, you always end up getting shy despite your thighs furiously pressing together and wetness building up in your panties, “Maybe a little too much…” 

Jungkook pressed his tongue into his cheek as his smirk widened, just his stare made you press your face into the pillow as you heard his chuckle, “What? What did you do?” 

The fact that he skipped to the golden question made you whine as you kicked your feet, you could hear another laugh from him as you curled up once more, “You know…” You mumbled, feeling your face burn as you pressed it against the pillow. 

“No baby I don’t.” Jungkook pouted but his voice rasped and something about saying baby in english with that accent of his had your fingers twitching as he puffed a breath of air in cockiness as he hummed, “Why don’t you tell me hm?” 

Shifting against the bed you shook your head, “You know what I’m talking about…” 

“Do I?” Jungkook challenged as he raised a brow, his beginning to clench as he slipped into his dominant headspace, tucking his tongue into his cheek as he asked, “If you can’t use your words would you rather show me? Be a good girl and show me, yeah?” 

Your words were muffled as you replied, “I had help…” Your face felt like it was practically on fire as you rubbed your legs together as you heard him laugh, “Then be a good girl and go get it jagiya, I’ll still be here.” You gave Jungkook a good laugh as you nearly scrambled out of bed to get your bullet vibrator off it’s charger before diving back on the bed making your laptop bounce as you sat up right. 

Jungkook meanwhile had pulled off his sweatshirt and repositioned his camera to expose his lower body, the familiar sight of his plump cherry lips exposed in that forever tainted smirk as he made himself comfortable in his chair, his thighs spreading apart and the indent in his sweats showing off proudly, “Good girl kitty, now I want you to take off your clothes, all of it.” 

You wiggled in your comfy sweatshirt feeling a little shy as you began to shed your clothes, “The bra too baby,” Jungkook coaxed as he licked his lips, his cock tightening and becoming harder at the sight of your flustered, shy expression as you unhooked your bra, there was nothing more this man wanted then to suckle on your nipples that immediately hardened against the chilled air of the room. 

Jungkook’s hand found its way to his bulge as he palmed himself through his grey sweats, “Panties too baby, I know you’re shy but you need to be a good girl and take them off. And remember your words.” He added with a low growl. 

“...Yes sir.” You mumbled, feeling chilly and exposed to nothing more then the camera on your laptop and Jungkook of course before you pulled off the panties you wore, arousal sticking to the fabric that stringed before you tossed them aside, your eyes unable to stay off his hand that kept stroking his bulge. 

“Good girl,” His lips twitched into a sadistic smile, “Now spread your legs jagiya and show me what you did to that photo I sent you, every little detail baby.” You whined as you looked away from the camera, “Jagiya…” Jungkook’s voice deepened a little in warning, “Are you gonna make me get out the controller?” 

Outwardly you’d completely deny that but inwardly....The idea nearly had you frothing out the mouth, but reluctantly you did as he asked, the chilled air nipping at your exposed warm wet folds had your levels of arousal that much higher and you could hear a soft verbal moan from Jungkook as he squeezed his hand over his cock, “Shibal,” He muttered a few other words in korean that you could only half make out before he spoke once more, “You’re so fucking wet baby. Play with yourself, don’t make me wait.” 

Tenderly you slipped your hand between your thighs, flinching a little at the cold that seeped from your fingers that met in opposition to the heat radiating off your cunt, arousal met your fingertips as you dragged them up you slit before rubbing slow circles around your clit, your lips parting a little at the idea of it being his fingers doing this to you.

Jungkook let out a little scoffed laugh, licking his lips as he pulled down his sweats just enough to free his throbbing cock, a sight you’d never fully get used too and had your mouth watering at just the sight. He was much thicker then he was long but he certainly wasn’t short, the vein on the underside of his cock displayed and you could even see his tip beginning to weep as it became red, “How bad do you wish those were my fingers playing with that little clit baby? Put those fingers inside your cunt baby,lay back and use your toy to make yourself feel good for me.

Situating your laptop before you laidback, opening your legs once more as you began to transition to your subspace as you closed your eyes, imagining his fingers dragging up your inner thighs. 

Letting your eyes open you whined at the sight of lube slipping from his cock as his hand slowly pumped his shaft, his lips parted at the sight of one finger slipping inside your cunt before pulling out and adding a second finger. You could just imagine those long thick fingers filling you up while fitting up against your g-spot. 

Fumbling with your vibrator you turned it on, switching the setting to a low pattern before carefully placing it on your aching bud. You had anticipated your reaction just as you did everytime and yet every time you still jolted, your walls tightly squeezing around your fingers as a whined squeak escaped your lips. 

“Fuck princess that’s it,” Jungkook edged you on, his tongue in his cheek as his hand squeezed around his cock before he used his free hand to grab his own toy, the fleshlight that nearly always turned you into a mess, “Bet that little hole can hardly fit your own fingers let alone my big fat cock, right baby? Yeah?” 

Your thighs were twitching as pleasure was rapidly buzzing against your clit and your walls kept squeezing around your fingers as you desperately tried to reach to your g-spot in need for an orgarsm to make up for all the anxiety and stress you had been under the whole day, “Yes! Yes sir! Ah- Mmph need you! Fuck, please! Sir.” You whimpered as your hips jolted to fuck back against your fingers.

 Jungkook pushes the opening of the flashlight over his tip as he let out a soft moan, his hips fluidly began thrusting to the point your walls were so tight you could hardly move your fingers just at the idea of his cock forcing its way inside you, you just knew this mans stroke game was good and proved it every fucking time he took out that toy.

Watching his cock disappear with every thrust inside his toy as his lips parted a little wider this time, “You want this baby? You wish this was your pussy I’m fucking nice and deep?”

Your body was too excited for all of his dirty talk as you squirmed shifting the buzzing vibrator to the sweet spot of your clit as you squeaked, trying to keep yourself from being too loud as your roommate was home, “Want it! Want it so fucking bad! Please sir! Sir!”

You were embarrassingly horny and this made worked you up every single time, your hips we’re stumbled and your walls were rapidly clenching in excitement as his thick cock rocking it’s way in and out of the toy that you could just imagine was your pussy he was fucking nice and slow, making you feel his nice fat cock with every killer slow thrust.

“Oh Jagiya,” Jungkook moaned out, “Don’t tell me my kitten is already close?” He chuckled as he watched the way your body withered the way it always did when you were close, his eyes feasting on the way your pussy was stretched so delicately against your small fingers and the way your thighs clenched and your feet kicked, “Do you need to cum so soon?” 

“Please! Please! Sir! I- I don’t think I can-“ Your thighs clamped together as your lips fell open, unable to even wait for his blessing as your orgasm ripped through your body, your toes curling as little whimpers escaped you, you could hear a long moan from Jungkook as you liddedly watched his hips stumble against his flesh light, hand running through his hair while he fumbled something in Korean. 

“Baby fuuck,” Jungkook’s voice lowered as he moaned, “Cum again princess, cum for me baby I wanna hear you make those noises again for me. Keep those little fingers stuffed inside yourself.” Jungkook’s hips kept stuttering against his toy, his cock throbbing desperate as his moans became breathy at the sight of you obeying him. You were always such a good girl.

Your fingers were aching but your desire to watch him come undone was even greater as you began pushing your fingers back against your g-spot once more, feathery whines escaping you at the feeling of pain beginning to mix with pleasure at the consistent thrum of the vibrator against your clit.

“Ah! S-sir…!” You whimpered quietly as your walls suddenly clamped around your fingers once more, “I- ah! I don’t think I can…!” 

“Yes you can,” Jungkook growled his hips bucking up into his toys faster his cock throbbing and squeezing in pleasure at the sight of your arousal slipping from your soaked cunt and the sight of your tits bouncing at the way your body kept squirming, he could only imagine what it would be like fucking you tied up and left to his mercy, “And you will,” He snapped with command, “You’re gonna be a good girl and cum for me again princess. I wasn’t fucking asking.” 

Your legs immediately twitched and your breath hitched as you cried out, your back arching at the way your body listened to him so easily on command, your walls tightening around your fingers rapidly and pleasure seered into your clit as the orgasm roughly filled your body, “Ah Jungkook! Fuck, fuck, fuck…! Fuck! Ooh!” Moans escaped you louder then you intended as your hips desperately fucked into your fingers to ride the powerful orgasm you experienced.

Jungkook moaned softly as his hips bucked one last time into his toy before cum was filling it up at the idea of milking all of himself in your little warm cunt, letting his hips swivel as he milked every last drop of cum from his cock as he moaned before relaxing back in his chair.

Chuckling a little at watching your lower body scramble at your vibrator continuing to drill against your over stimulated clit as you struggled to turn it off, “Take your fingers out baby, I wanna see them.” Jungkook licked his lips as you obeyed him, pulling your fingers from your cunt to reveal the thick layer of arousal and cum on them nearly making Jungkook’s mouth water with the desire to lick every drop off your fingers, this man couldn’t even describe what he’d do to go down on you.

“Ah fuck, jagiya,” Jungkook laughed, a little flustered at the way you sat up, looking directly into the camera before putting your fingers in your mouth, licking off the salty and somewhat musky taste of your arousal which in your opinion wasn’t that great and Jungkook would never accept your opinion on the matter, “You’re gonna make me hard all over again.” He whined as he carefully pulled the toy off his cock, feeling the white substance already rolling down his softening shaft to reveal the mess he had made.

You giggled a little, feeling shy once more as you stood up with wobbling legs, “I don’t have to help with that.” You called out, grabbing your favorite sweatshirt to pull over your body. It was your favorite because...Well because Jungkook had sent it to you and because it was big on him it was massive on you. 

You absolutely adored it, coming back in view you collapsed onto your bed as you curled up, Jungkook had just finished cleaning himself up, fixing his camera for you to see the beautiful radiant smile and eyes light up that was your boyfriend. He always had that dreamy look in his eyes while looking at you everytime you finished having Skype sex and everytime it always made you shy as you grabbed your pillow and curled up.

“You’re always so fucking good baby,” He groaned as he ran a hand through his hair, his smile permanently on his face as he stared in adoration at your curled up figure that was practically buried in his sweatshirt, “Mmm you were such a good girl too, your eyes were rolling to the back of your head when I told you to cum again.” 

He had a boyish laugh at the way you curled up, “Stoop! You know I was already overstimulated, you better hope my roommate didn’t hear anything…!” You covered your face in embarrassment at the realization you were a little loud.

Jungkook’s face stiffened a little at the mention of your roommate before he tried to play it off with a small laugh, “Yeah well, what’s he gonna do about it anyways? You were just being my good little girl jagiya.” You covered your face in semi embarrassment. You knew Jungkook was redirecting the conversation back to verbal aftercare because you knew he didn’t like the fact that your roommate was a guy who was not only your age but also very attractive. 

It wasn’t like Taehyung was ever interested in you, but you had mentioned to Jungkook when you first started talking that you used to have a crush on him. You felt as though some days that still lingered in Jungkook’s mind despite the fact that you didn’t even look at Taehyung twice anymore.

Especially since you and Jungkook became an item, however you also hadn’t told Jungkook that Taehyung had been...Well you weren’t sure what he was doing to be honest outside a few innuendos and winks. It mainly weirded you out as he had never paid any attention to you but regardless. This wasn’t about your roommate, this was about your amazing, handsome boyfriend who somehow managed to make you cum twice just by the sound of his voice, not everything could do that.

“You make it difficult to try and disobey.” You mumbled as a smile tugged in your lips, closing your eyes at the idea of his arms wrapped tight around you and his forehead pressed against your own, you could almost feel his warm breath against your face and his lips pressing against your forehead.

“Mmm id like to see you try,” Jungkook laughed as he leaned back his seat, letting out a content sigh as he spoke, “I’d make you wear those vibrating panties the whole day after making you overestimate yourself and I’d make sure to wake up every hour just to hold that button for three minutes straight.” 

“You’re so mean!” You whines as you fluttered your feet before crawling under your covers as you yawned, “You’re already planning a punishment when I haven’t even done anything wrong.” 

“I’m not!” Jungkook laughed as he objected, moving his hair from his face, “I’m just telling you what would’ve happened if you weren’t obedient. I mean, that’s not always a bad thing baby.” He sent a wink your way that immediately made your cheeks warm as you pressed your face against the blanket with a giggle.

“I can’t do that over a video call…! Maybe if you were here in my bed I’d be a little more defiant.” You always had a hard time trying to flirt confidently but Jungkook always ate it up every single time you threw him a crumb.

“Jagiya if you can’t be defiant over a call what makes you think you’d manage it when I’m between your legs sucking the soul out of your pussy?” Jungkook was immediately cackling at the way you shoved your face into your pillow with a whine, “Exactly baby, you can’t even look at me right now.” He cooed out.

“Well maybe I’m just a little more bold in person.” You challenged, peeping out from behind your pillow making Jungkook chuckle as he shook his head, his eyes filled with adoration as he leaned back in his seat.

“Well sweetheart I’ll just have to see for myself one day huh?” Jungkook’s smile was so beautiful, it was arguably one of your favorite features as he spoke, “You know I love you to the moon and back jagiya.”

“Well I love you love you to the stars and beyond,” You whispered back as you hugged your pillow close, closing your eyes sleepily as you smiled….One day...Hopefully you’d overcome your anxiety soon to make the one day become soon, you weren’t sure how much longer you could stand being apart from the one person who would never stop making your day.

#bts #jungkook #jeon jungkook #jungkook x reader #jungkook x y/n #jungkook smut #jungkook x reader smut #ldr!jungkook

[jonsa101]

New Amsterdam Season 3x7: The Groundwork to Heal and Rebuild

Last night’s episode truly blew me away. It’s definitely one of the best episodes in the series. To be honest, I was incredibly anxious about how the show would handle systemic racism in the healthcare system but I think the writers did a beautiful job. I love how they have redirected Max’s story. It truly is a great character shift. Max has gone from the “how can I help” guy who tries to solve everything and usually always succeeds at it, to the guy who fails miserably and in frustration even throws in the towel. It’s so refreshing because the Max we had before this shift was unrealistic. This season is so good because this season feels real and authentic and Max though idealistic, is finally getting a big dose of reality in how he operates. I don’t think the show is ever going to give us season 1 or 2 Max again and that’s a good thing! That means our male lead is finally growing and evolving. It’s character development baby and we love to see it!  I also love where the storyline is going for Helen. I have always had a head canon that Helen has some wild baby sister that would pop into her life to live with her and Helen would look out for her and take her under her wing. The story line with Meena is way better than my head canon and kinda falls in line with what I’ve always imagined. I’m so happy that Helen has a niece and that she’s moving in with her! This is literally the PERFECT ROLE for Helen. There’s nothing better than having a character who struggles with being vulnerable than literally having an unexpected character show up to shake things up and unroot the vulnerabilities/traumas said character has yet to deal with.  

A lot of people couldn’t understand why Helen gave up her relationship with Cassian because of her niece but I completely understand where she’s coming from. Helen is completely out of her depth here. She wanted a baby and had know plans to take in her brother’s child let alone a teenager. This is completely new territory for her and the stress of having to juggle this new role, a new relationship and her already hectic job at New Amsterdam was probably overwhelming. Like most people who have a type A personality, she is doing what she feels like she has to do to get ready. Meena moving in with Helen is purposeful on so many levels and there are three things I’m expecting to see on screen because of it.

First, we are going to see so much more of Helen on a personal level. I fully expect to see Helen’s home life way more frequently as we see her step into this aunt/mother role and raise a teenager. This is not going to be a walk in the park. Helen is going to STRUGGLE. Meena will more than likely push Helen’s buttons to know end and and bring out all the vulnerabilities that she tries so hard to keep down. It will be probably be a bit ugly at first but as Helen and Meena start to bond and find common ground, Helen will FLOURISH. We will see her at her best as she thrives in this aunt/mother role. Second, Meena is absolutely going to peep the feelings that Max and Helen have for each other and she’s going to let her opinions be known. For the most part, teenagers know how to read the room and I’m pretty sure Meena will be know different. As Helen and Meena grow closer and as she possibly interacts with Max as well, I’m pretty confident Meena will say something and play a small part in pushing Max and Helen together. Of course this is just a prediction but usually a third character calls out the obvious “Unresolved Sexual Tension” between love interests and my money is on Meena! Third, I don’t think it’s a coincidence that Helen stepped down from deputy medical director to step into this aunt/mother role as Max tries to be a single father to Luna while also trying to fill a mother void in Luna’s life. When we were heading into the season finale and going into season 2, I wrote a meta detailing my thoughts about how I felt about Helen deciding to be Max’s doctor again. I didn’t necessarily agree with the decision because I believed that Helen needed to remain true to the emotional and professional boundaries she was trying to set for herself. I also believed that because it was indicated Max and Helen had feelings for each other, her role needed to shift going forward in their relationship. It took two seasons but Helen’s role has finally shifted! 🙌🏾 She is no longer Max’s doctor or deputy medical director and for once Max no longer has the crutch/excuse of trying to navigate how he feels about her through that lense!!! THIS IS HUGE!!!

Max now has to truly sit there with his feelings and feel the absence of not going to Helen for everything because of the necessity of the roles she once had in his life. He will quickly come to terms with the fact that not only is he in love with her but he’s truly wants and needs her as his LIFE PARTNER! On top of that, Ryan has literally been teasing that Max is looking for not only a partner but a mother/mother role for Luna and he’s trying to figure that out fast (I will literally link the article). Max already knows Helen’s desire to be a mom but he will literally get the chance to see Helen step into that role with Meena! This isn’t by accident and it’s all purposeful. I’ve said this a hundred times and I’ll say it again, the showrunners are setting the groundwork for them to get together this season. Something has shifted. There’s a deep longing and desperation behind Max and I genuinely believe that he is consumed with his feelings for her. Through a bathroom door he was trying to convince Helen to be co-medical director to help battle systemic racism but while he’s trying to convince her, through subtext, he is essentially asking her to be his partner in life! I saw someone mention on Twitter that it was basically a proposal in a joking manner but honestly, that’s exactly what it was. It was a subtext laced proposal! His feelings are so all consuming that he can’t truly stay on the topic at hand!!! I think Max is on the verge of the floodgates bursting wide open and he is going to lay everything out on the table. Also, seeing Max’s behavior last night oddly reminds me a bit of Mr. Darcy in the Pride and Prejudice. Don’t get me wrong, Mr. Darcy and Max don’t have the same mannerisms but the depth of the feelings they have for their love interests and how it manifests feels the same. I’ll get into this more at the conclusion of this meta.

Anyway, when I look at the season in it’s entirety so far, I see the show setting up two people that both have to develop and heal in specific areas so that they can eventually come together by the end of the season. Helen is struggling with vulnerability, feeling like she’s running out of a time with the desires she truly wants in life and now in the most unexpected way is being thrust into aunt/motherhood. Max’s idealism has been completely rocked by the pandemic and now more than ever he’s forced to be more self aware of his actions and needs to evolve from the chronic hero syndrome. He’s also essentially stepping into fatherhood again as he tries to learn and navigate being a single dad and making Luna his first priority. I think for a time Max and Helen will need to face their issues head on by themselves but as they go through their own healing journeys, they’re going to need each other. Also, they’re DEEPLY IN LOVE so even though it seems like they’re drifting a part it’s only going to be temporarily. Eventually, they’ll start “burdening” each other again.

Another important point that I want to bring up is this. In the last meta that I wrote, I mentioned how I believed that Max needs to go above and beyond to try meet Helen’s needs and support her and I genuinely believe that we will see that throughout this season. In last night’s episode, after he poured his heart out and told her that he’s grateful that she’s there with him, Helen resigned as deputy medical director. The old Max would have put up a fight and put his needs before hers because he wants her there with him but despite it being painful, he accepted her resignation. That’s growth! Taking Helen out of the equation as his number two at the hospital is going to make him so much more aware of her needs in her personal life rather than the needs of the hospital. They’re relationship has always been so intertwined with their work at New Amsterdam that Max hasn’t learned to truly prioritize Helen outside of that but this season he’s definitely going to. The absence of Helen in his literal everyday work life with the combination of his overwhelming feelings will eventually lead to a wild pursuit. A pursuit to know her heart, her wants, her needs and most importantly a pursuit to be with her.

My last point is this! I’ve made some pretty bold predictions this season about where I see Max and Helen going. Again, I think something MASSIVE is on the horizon and I honestly still think that by the end of this season Max and Helen might very well be engaged!! I don’t know Fam they’re just giving me this vibe especially Max! Last night solidified to me that he is getting to a place where his feelings are beginning to overwhelm him. This brings me back to Mr. Darcy. I believe Mr. Darcy and Max are at the same emotional level when it comes to how they feel about their significant others. When it was to much to bare for Mr. Darcy not only did he declare his love for Elizabeth but he proposed. He literally went from 0-100. Though Elizabeth rejected his first proposal, he proposed again and the second time around they had both done the work that they needed to in order to understand each other better and realize that they loved each other. I can’t help but think of Darcy saying

“You have bewitched me body and soul and I love I love I love you. And wish from this day forth never to be parted from you.”

Is it just me or is Max acting a little bit like Helen has bewitched him body and soul? He’s all over the place when it comes to her lately and his body language has changed too! Did anyone else peep how closely Max and Helen were sitting next to each other? It was so intimate for a second I thought they were going to kiss or he was going to grab her hands. I don’t know it just screamed desire to me. Also, this ongoing theme were he tells her that he “can’t do this without her” or he’s grateful that “she’s here with him” to me is in the same light of Darcy telling Elizabeth that he never wants to be parted from her. From season two onwards Max has openly expressed wanting/needing Helen by his side. Now that we are in season 3, it seems like Max need for this has only gotten deeper. I make this comparison to say that the underlying vibe of how we are seeing Max and Helen unfold this season to me points to something incredibly tangible happening between them at season end.

The thing about Max and Helen is that yes, they are a slow burn but at the same time they’re also a 0-100 type of couple. I want to write another meta to explain this in detail but what I’ll say here is that if circumstances were different in season 1 and Max wasn’t married, Max and Helen would have probably been the type of couple who got married within a couple of months of knowing each other. Also, from my perspective, once Max and Helen finally let each other know how they really feel, it’s not going to be a thing where they’re just dating like with Cassian or Panthaki. It’s going to be like it’s a wrap, I’m all in, you are my person, this is it for me type thing. It’s going to be commitment! I feel like people forget but this show started in 2018. In September it will be four years since the show premiered. Granted COVID happened in 2020, but essentially Max and Helen have been doing this tango for awhile now. The expectation should be that we are finally going to see things come into fruition in a major way this season because that’s 1000% what I believe. Everything in my gut is telling me that the time is now and they are setting them up to do groundwork to heal so that they can rebuild together. A new chapter for them is on the horizon and I’m so excited about it!

#sharpwin #new amsterdam #max goodwin #helen sharpe #max x helen #sharpwin meta #new amsterdam meta

[yutahoes]

Otou-Chan

Yuta Nakamoto x Reader (Y/N) Smut

(Chapter Twenty Five - Final)

Summary: 𝐁𝐞𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐚𝐧 𝐚𝐝𝐮𝐥𝐭 𝐦𝐚𝐧𝐡𝐰𝐚 𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐮𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐭𝐨𝐫 𝐢𝐬 𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐝. 𝐁𝐮𝐭 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐢𝐬 𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐝𝐞𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐢𝐧 𝐘𝐮𝐭𝐚’𝐬 𝐩𝐚𝐧𝐭𝐬.

Warning: Fluff, Needy Yuta, Cock warming, Unprotected Sex

Word Count: 3.1k

Tag List: @ailoveyuta , @puzziw​ 

Masterlist

❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ ❤️❤️ 

25. My Home

For the whole day of their stay in Paris, he was just holed up in his room even if his parents kept on forcing him to go with them and tour the place. Why would he? It will only make him remember her. 

He tried calling his friends, but they wouldn't pick up, and he's more depressed than ever. Paris should hold wonderful moments of her, this is where they met. How can Paris hurt him like this? How could those memories get erased by just one word? 

'Sayonara' 

The word he hated the most in the world. 

Doesn't she know that he's still waiting for her? That's it's still her that he wants. She should be next to him right now, recreating the sexual activity they had done back in the same city. And he'll tell her he loves her. Always. 

But damn, all he could do is cry. Alone. In his hotel room. 

Who would have thought that he missed her more today than in the past five years? If this is how his heart would break, he shouldn't have met her in the first place.

--

He was more annoyed when his parents decided to stay in Paris for another day, claiming that they want to explore more. Seriously, it's not like they're new in Paris. He believed Shiho was even conceived here. 

Instead, he sat there alone, in the business class of their flight. Shiho should be next to him, at least easing his mood right now. Why is he always alone lately? Much to his annoyance, Jaehyun decided to call him, "What's up?" The younger casually asked which made him roll his eyes. Yuta rambled about (Y/N) to Jaehyun, tears springing from his eyes. 

He didn't want to cry, Jaehyun shouldn't see him cry. But when he exclaimed 'You're still in love with her.' He felt the tears fell down automatically. 

At this point, he doesn't care that all eyes were on him. He just wanted to tell someone all this heartbreak, not wanting to bottle up his emotions inside. "I still love her, Jae." He kept on repeating, weeping in sorrow. "I want her back." 

"It's still her, Jae." 

When the call ended, a stewardess asked him if he needed something but he just shook his head, avoiding to look at her. 

A handkerchief appeared before him and he quickly took it, wiping his eyes. This is so unmanly. The things he can do for her. "Is this your new way of picking up girls?" His plane seatmate asked, surprising him. 

That's Shiho's seat. And a woman? She might be thinking that he's a pathetic loser. 

Yuta had to blink twice. Are his eyes failing him? Or does he really miss her that much? The girl was staring at the stewardess who just checked on Yuta then glared at him. "She has a nice body, must be your type." She claimed casually. 

"(Y/N)?" he needed to check if she's real or just a figment of his imagination. Is he really this crazy? "(Y/N)?" He repeated and she rolled her eyes at him. "What are you doing here?" 

She showed him Shiho's ticket, grinning. "I'm Shiho now." She said in a failed attempt to make him smile.

What? How? Why? 

"Your parents came to see me yesterday. Eomma…" She shook her head. "Your mom thought we should talk." He was just staring at her. After crying this much, she'll appear in front of him like it was nothing. 

"Gifu told me you rejected coming with them so gibo gave me this ticket so we can talk." So when they said that they're meeting someone, it was (Y/N). But wait, his ears aren't joking him right? She called his parents mother-in-law and father-in-law. "Yuta, I owe you an apology." There was a sincere look in her eyes, the same expression when she told him she loves him. 

But an apology? For what? For hurting him? She'll need to do a lot for that. She bit her lip for a moment and he badly wanted to run his fingers there, no maybe his tongue. God, the effect this girl has on him. "I misunderstood you and Shiho," she confessed and he cocked his head to the side. Misunderstood? "Well, she's calling you otou-chan so I thought she's your daughter." 

"What? Wait, Shiho? What?" That was stupid, Yuta thought. The first sentence he uttered in front of her. 

She nodded, giggling. "I thought you're already married so I said those things about moving on from you. I honestly don't want your wife to misunderstand." He raised an eyebrow at her. "Well it turns out, Shihoh is your imouto. Gifu kept on laughing when I told them." He pursed his lip to prevent himself from laughing. 

She thought he's married? When he can't even look at other girls because of her? "Gomen ne." She said in a small voice, staring at her fiddling fingers. 

A breathy sigh escaped his throat as the voice of the pilot announcing their take-off came booming at the plane's speakers. She can't really run away from him now. And he wouldn't let her anyway. 

The plane ascended to the sky and (Y/N) cursed herself that they have to talk here like this. They should have talked back at the gala when there's land. That way, she can still run away from him. Now, she can't really back down from him. "So you haven't moved on yet?" 

He looked intimidating. Like a father scolding his daughter for a mistake she did. Yet his question is so different. "Yes." 

Yes, she hasn't moved on? Or yes, she moved on? 

"It's still you." she continued. 

His breathing hitched against his throat. How can she shake him up like this? "That guy? At the museum. Were you in a relationship with him?" She shook her head.

"He's my student and he's dating someone." She bit her lip at the intensity of his gaze. "He kept on scolding me when I told him that I lied to you. So I…" She felt a weight on her shoulder that made her stop.

He bent down to lay his head on her shoulder, avoiding to look at her. "God, I even cried when you said you're dating him." He did? His hand held hers, threading their fingers together. "The last time I cried this much was when okasan died."

"I'm sorry, Yuta."

He shook his head, still avoiding to look at her. "I regret letting you go to New York. I should have asked you to stay or come with you." 

She smiled at that. "I almost didn't leave for New York at that time." She confessed. His hold on her hand got tighter. "I was so mad at you when you let me go. I just found out that my birth parents didn't want me in their life. My foster parents don't want me either. So I thought you also don't want me in your life." 

"That's not true." He easily revolted, staring at her. How dare she think of that? When he's like this? Counting the days, even up to the last second of when he can see her again. 

She only smiled. "I know. Taeyong said you're feeling bad about forcing me to need you all the time." He didn't know what to say. Did she talk to Taeyong? "And I hated myself for being dependent on you when I'm really not your responsibility." 

That guy, really. 

"I realized what I really wanted to do. I wanted to prove something to myself." She explained then continued, "To make you proud of me before I come back to you." 

He only laughed at that. God, why didn't they just talked way before? They should have spared some of their tears. "And you did." His other hand tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear, the other still holding her tight. "I'm so proud of you. The painting, the exhibit, calling yourself a faculty member of an art school." She smiled. The same smile that was etched in his memory when her first work was published. "You have no idea how much I wanted to brag that the person I love is all that."

She released a heavy breath after chuckling at what he said, like a large load escaping her chest. "I'm sorry it took so long Yuta but I want to come back home." 

"Home?" Yuta repeated then giggled. "You do realize that this plane is going to land in Japan right?" 

What? She frantically looked at the plane ticket, seeing that it is indeed landing in Nagoya, Japan. Is she in a rush to see him that she missed this important detail? 

(Y/N) shrugged. "My home is where you are." She said while keeping the ticket in her bag. "I can just book a hotel room…" 

The hand rest separating their bodies is now lifted up as he pulled her closer to his warmth. "God, I missed you so much." And she did as well. 

Five years of not seeing each other and even saying goodbye to him in front of people. Now, this. It had been a rollercoaster for the two of them. 

His lips were on her, making her breathless instantly. The effect Yuta had on her still hasn't changed through the years. "Yuta." She called, making him stare with those twinkling eyes. "I love you." 

He smiled at her. He kissed her forehead muttering an 'I love you' then kissed her nose, repeating the same three words. Again, his lips went on hers. She missed this, missed Yuta's warmth and his scent. His hand moved dangerously close to her breasts that she let go of the kiss, moving away from him. "Yah!"

"Yah?" Yuta glared playfully. "(Y/N), give me a break. It's been years." 

Said girl giggled at that, raising her eyebrow. "You didn't touch any girl?" He chuckled while shaking his head, moving closer to her. "Are you sure?" 

"How can I when my eyes can only see you?" One hand pulled her closer by the waist while the other held on to close the curtain behind her. "We can just do it here, we'll be quick." But she just laughed as a response to his attempt. "Why not? We did it on a plane first." 

"We can get in jail for this. The first time is just us being lucky." Yuta pouted, sliding back to his seat and putting down the armrest between them. 

(Y/N) giggled. He's so adorable. "When the plane lands..." He stared at her for a moment. "I'll let you do what you want when the plane lands." 

"When the plane lands…" Yuta repeated. "I'll make sure you cannot escape me."

She smiled. She doesn't want to, honestly. 

(Y/N) slipped her hand on Yuta's, leaning against his shoulder making him smile. This is the warmth she wants, the warmth that her heart is yearning for. She's home. Yuta is her home. "Tadaima, otou-chan." 

He kissed the top of her head, his heart full of love only for her. "Okaeri, my ai."

--

Yuta had been pacing back and forth the whole time she's seated on the floor and is in a meeting with the director from the art school in Canada. When (Y/N) decided to live with Yuta in Japan, she planned to quit teaching art school and maybe just teach in Japan but the director didn't let her go and told her that she can still teach online. Now, she's in a meeting with the faculty about the latest art exhibit that they planned in Korea. "I'll send you the details when I get to Korea." And with that, she closed her laptop.

Her head rests on top of her hand that was above the coffee table, watching the Japanese man in front of her. "What's wrong?" 

He sat beside her on the floor when he realized that she's done with her meeting, leaning his head on her shoulder. "Are you really going to Korea?" He asked, pouting. (Y/N) giggled at that, nodding and even saying that they already had a talk about it. "I know but can't I come with you?" 

"You have work here. Besides, I have a lot of things to do there. It's not a vacation." Honestly, the exhibit is something that she's worried about. She also wanted to visit the publishing house and see what her friends are up to. Then she wanted to see her foster dad and her new life as a volunteer in a pet shelter. "I'll come back real quick." 

"Really?" He asked, kissing the side of her neck. "Are you sure?" She giggled while nodding. 

She turned her head to kiss him on the lips. "Yes, I'm sure." She said while smiling then turned to the coffee table quickly. "Now, I have some work to do. I'll cook dinner after doing this." 

Yuta pouted at that, arms still holding her by the waist. "It's hard to date an in-demand artist. I like it better when you're a manhwa illustrator," he whined which made her giggle. She opened her laptop, opening a word document that has the detailed plans of the art exhibit. No meeting, she's just typing. 

Yuta pushed the sofa behind, sitting behind her with legs caging her in. (Y/N) gasped when he started touching her stomach under her shirt. "Yuta, I still have things to do," she whined, shrugging off the kisses he was doing on her nape. Why is he so needy all of a sudden? And while doing her work? 

"I need you." he pleaded, now kneeling behind her, holding her shoulders as he rubbed his hardened member on her back. She shouted his name that made him look at her with those puppy eyes. "Just let me inside you, please," he begged that made her look at him, squinting her eyes. "It hurts, baby. Please." 

(Y/N) clucked her tongue, staring at the tent in his pants. Well, it really is erect. Why is he so needy all of a sudden. Knowing Yuta, that might be really tough for him. "Can't you just use your hands or something? I have to finish this..." 

The guy shook his head, holding his clothed cock. "I tried that already but I can't cum knowing that you're here." The girl just giggled at that, Yuta really had his way through everything. 

(Y/N) nodded that made him cheer like a young child, removing his sweatpants and underwear to reveal his red cock. He sat back down behind her, putting a hand inside her shorts that surprised her. "I have to get you wet at least," he said as he started playing her clit with his fingers. 

She just kept on typing, pretending to not be fazed by her boyfriend's action but in reality, she's getting really horny at the way his fingers were fucking her. Yuta is really so good with his fingers. Once wet enough, he tapped her throbbing clit, asking her to kneel, and pulled down her shorts and underwear. Yuta positioned his cock on her entrance as she sat on him that made the guy groan. (Y/N), on the other hand, just bit her lip to prevent a moan from escaping. He can't know that she's liking it as well. 

Yuta started grinding his hips into her, trying to feel some friction without jerking inside her but that proved as a difficult thing to do. "Can't you take a break?" he asked as his hands trailed inside her shirt, pinching her hardening nipples making her moan. "Cock warming is hard." 

"So needy." she teased, shaking her head. The laptop closed once again and he grinned in victory. (Y/N) can't really resist him. 

One hand groped her breast, thumb rubbing her hardening nipple while the other circled her clit. His hands were so rough on her that she can't help but moan at how good Yuta is touching her. 

Her moans turned him on some more, liking how she called his name in the height of pleasure. But it's not enough, he wanted a release. "Ride me," he whispered while licking her earlobe that made the girl groan. Using the floor as an anchor, she bounced up and down on Yuta's cock. "Yes, baby, like that." He started thrusting up to meet her hips, making her scream when he started hitting a pleasurable spot. 

"Yuta! There!" Her legs and arms were giving out to the pleasure she's feeling that she cannot move anymore. "Take over, Yuta," she claimed as he bent her down on the floor, ass in the air and taking her from behind. His hands were on her breasts, groping them while drilling inside her. Both their breathing got erratic and Yuta knew that she's so close, he is in a matter of fact. 

(Y/N) wanted to claw at something, wanted to sunk her nails into it, but the floor isn't a great help to her. As she felt the wave of her orgasm, Yuta's thrusts became more powerful and she knew that he's also close. Their bodies lay flat on the floor and she groaned at her boyfriend's weight, cock still inside her. Fuck, she thought, she's going to die because of exhaustion. Why is Yuta so wild? Is it a Japanese thing? 

He kissed her cheek then her jaw. "Are you alright?" She just nodded at him, breathless. "I'm sorry." 

But she shook her head, smiling at him as he helped her sit up. "At this rate, we'll probably have lunch before breakfast." He stared at her in confusion. Isn't it dinner time already? She just gave him an annoyed look and he realized what she meant. 

He had been asking her that question for months now, 'Do you want to have breakfast?' that even his parents are confused whenever he would ask that at night. "Wait, you're agreeing to breakfast?" he asked then gasped. "You're willing to marry me?" 

(Y/N) had to laugh at that. "Baka! After you cried on the airplane, why wouldn't I marry you? I was waiting for you to say it, not ask me for…" 

Her words were cut off when he wrapped his arms around her, crushing her in a tight hug. "God, I am so in love with you." He kissed her cheek, then her forehead. "I love you." He kissed her nose then her lips, making her giggle. "I really love you." 

"And I love you too," she said s before accepting his breathtaking kiss. 

"My Ai..." he called when they let go of the kiss. "Do you want to get married tomorrow?" 

(Y/N) had to look at him in horror. That fast? What the hell is Yuta thinking? 

Yuta shook his head, grinning. "No, let's just stay in bed tomorrow." He carried her in his arms, bridal style. "I'll make sure you can't walk tomorrow." 

"Otou-Chan!" she shouted as the bedroom door closed.

❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ ❤️❤️

Chapter 24

Hi, you. 

If you are reading this, you have reached the end of this fic entitled Otou-Chan. Thank you for taking time in reading this and I hope you enjoyed it. I’m sorry if this is not the smut fic you expect it to be. There’s more fluff than smut here, honestly. I don’t even know if I can call this a smut fic. 

But still, you’re here and you helped me finish a fic that has been sitting in my drafts for years so I really wanted to thank you. Thank you for the likes (hearts?), the reblogs, the recommendations, your compliments, and most importantly, the time you spend in reading this 25 chapter long fic. Thank you for encouraging me to write, for being the reason why I’m excited to wake up every morning and check this Tumblr account. I don’t really know how to sincerely thank you all. 

THANK YOU TO YOU. 💖

Please continue supporting our Otou-Chan, Yuta Nakamoto.  

-🐼

#yuta smut #yutasmut #yuta nakamoto smut #yutanakamotosmut #yuta x reader smut #nct smut #nctsmut

[mirohlixie]

Never Enough (Hyunlix) Pt. 1

Pairing: Felix x Hyunjin Word Count: 2.4K Genre: AU, love, dystopia

Synopsis: In a world where being different from the conventional gender and sexuality rules means death, the gay youngster Felix struggles to hide his true sexuality. He is doing well until he meets Hyunjin, an undercover hitman hired by the government to get rid of all the "different" people in hiding. The moment the two meet each other, both of their lives change forever, but will it be enough?

Content warnings: AU, homophobia, discrimination against LGBTQ+, explicit language.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~♡~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~He looked up from his notebook, out of his window. The wind was blowing and rain was falling out of the sky in thick drops. The poor boy got bored from being inside all the time, but the weather wasn’t very forgiving. It had been like this for a couple of days now and it didn’t look like it was going to change soon.

“Felix,” a soft voice called from downstairs. “Do you want to come down for tea?” It was the same old story every day. He’d be in his room, usually reading or working on song lyrics all day. Some time afternoon his mother would start to wonder what he was doing up there all the time, and call him down for tea. He always said no, like he was going to do now. He simply didn’t feel like being among other humans.

All Felix longed for was to take a long walk, anywhere. Just him and nature and no other people. A place where he could be alone with his thoughts without feeling like it was a sin to even have them cross his mind. Because that was what his thoughts were: a sin. A boy like him should not be thinking about the things he thought of. Even better, it was forbidden. If anyone ever found out about the words dancing in his mind, he’d have to pay with his life.

At first, Felix had been pretty good at hiding his thoughts. He’d be among his family and laugh and have fun with them. However, as he grew up, he found it harder and harder not to let the words slip his mind. The safe storage that was once his head slowly began to deteriorate. His subconscious longed for the freedom that would come with the exposure of his secret. However, that moment could never exist. He didn’t want to die. Not because of this.

“Please Lix,” his mother called again. “You’re never downstairs anymore. You’re withering away in that room of yours. Wouldn’t you like to be with us just for a little? Just one cup of tea?” Felix knew his mother would keep asking until he’d give in, and he couldn’t give in.

Especially today his mind had been like a time bomb. Every time he looked in the mirror he had to withhold himself from saying those forbidden words. From saying those words that would essentially cost him his life. He could not even imagine what it would be like if he was among others. If his reflection alone was already enough to make him break, then what would a living human being do to him? How would he ever be able to resist their curiosity?

“No,” he called down. “I’m about to go on a walk,” it was an impulsive excuse and he hadn’t known why exactly he’d thought it would be the perfect one. However, now he’d already said it and had to follow through with the plan. He hopped from his bed and quickly put on a pair of shoes. He looked out the window, sighing when he saw the rain, and sprinted down the stairs to put on a coat.

“In this kind of weather?” His mother questioned, raising an eyebrow as she saw her son appear in the hallway. “It’s raining cats and dogs.”

“I know, but I like the rain,” Felix lied. “So I’m going on a walk. I’ll be back before dark, mom,” he zipped his coat and gave his mother a kiss on the cheek before walking out the front door.

The cold wind hit him in the face like a brick and he had to take a deep breath before he could find the courage to actually walk down the driveway and leave the perimeters of his parents’ house.

“I like the rain,” he muttered to himself as he pulled the hood of his coat closer to his face and started to conquer the strong winds fighting for dominance over him. “I’m such a bad liar.”

It was empty in the streets, which was perfect. The last thing Felix needed now was encountering someone he knew. He wanted to be alone. Completely alone. The rain started to get less intense the more he walked, which was a welcome change. The wind still stayed the same, pulling at his clothes and trying to push him back towards his home.

He loved the thundering sounds the moving air brought with it. It completely masked any other sound coming from him and his surroundings. It made him feel safe; safer than he was at home. Safer than he was anywhere.

Here he’d be able to speak his mind without care. Here he’d be able to be himself just for a second. He took a deep breath, looked around him, and smiled a little before uttering the dangerous words.

“I am different,” he whispered at first. Fear grabbed him by the throat as he checked his surroundings again, afraid someone would’ve caught him anyway, but there was nobody there. “I like men,” he elaborated. “I am a sinner because I like men instead of women,”

To Felix, it was hideous that this detail about himself could cost him his life. Unfortunately, it was the truth. Having a sexual and romantic attraction to people of the same sex was not allowed. Falling for or having a relationship with someone of the same sex was not allowed.

It was crazily old-fashioned and absolutely the highest form of discrimination, but yes; your sexuality could get you killed. If you were pleaded guilty of being "different", it meant immediate death, as ridiculous as that may sound. No trial, no bail. If there were enough grounds to convince the government you were gay, you were done for.

Not only men loving men or women loving women suffered this tragic and brutal fate, but every person who was different. Every person who didn't fit the standard boxes of society, the standard boxes being women loving men and men loving women. There was no room for nuisance.

Why these rules existed in today’s day and age? Nobody knew. The simple answer was that it had always been like that. People who were different were a threat. People who were different didn't have a right to walk this earth. To them, the lives lost did not matter, which was absolutely disgusting in Felix’s opinion.

To them, it was merely a way to make sure the earth wouldn’t get overcrowded. The way Felix saw it, they were just scared of change. In ancient times it had been normal to be a man romantically involved with another man. It was the modern-day society that had made it into a sin. The few people who rejected this idea and showed resistance awaited the same fate as these "different" people. Nobody was safe, so it was better to pretend you agreed with it.

Felix's parents also lived by these rules, so ever since Felix found out his preference wasn't towards women, he'd hidden from them. They couldn't find out, or they would probably report him to the state. Their own son meant nothing to them if he was different.

Of course, tracking down every single "different" person was difficult, and seemed nearly impossible, since you’re not exactly born with a sign on your head that says you’re different. However, the government had its ways to track you down, may it be legal or illegal. These ways were sneaky and far from agreeable. You never knew who you could trust and who not. Living in this world was a true hell for people like Felix, but there was nothing they could do.

“I’m fucking different!” Felix shouted into the wind, knowing nobody could hear him here with the wind raging around him. “I like men and there’s nothing I can do!”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~♡~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Are you sure you accept the terms and conditions of this task?” The lady on the phone had asked him for the tenth time. “Are you sure you are willing to take this task upon you and deal with the consequences that may come with it?” Hyunjin had nodded before realizing she would not be able to see that.

“Yes, ma’am,” he’d said. “I accept all of it. I am ready, I promise,” he’d looked at the booklet that had fallen onto the doormat this morning. He’d been waiting for it for a while now and today had been the day it had finally arrived. He’d almost jumped when he’d heard the sound of the booklet hitting the fabric. It was dumb and he knew that, but to him, this seemed like the only option.

It was fucked up, Hyunjin knew that and would never try to deny it. However, he needed the money he’d get out of it. Not for himself, but for his mother. His dear mother, the woman who’d raised him to be the man he was today, was a sickly woman now. She’d been diagnosed with a rare disease that could only be helped with expensive treatment. Without the treatment, the chances she’d not see the end of the year were very big. If she did get the treatment, it would give her the rest of her life back.

That’s all Hyunjin wanted for her; She had to see him grow up. She had to see her grandchildren grow up. He couldn’t lose her, not in a society like this one.

“Ten grant,” he’d whispered to himself. That was what he’d receive if he went through with this. It was enough to pay for his mother’s treatment and her medicine. It would be enough to keep her alive. It would cost him a part of himself, but that would be worth it if he was able to save the woman who meant the most to him. But was ten grant enough in exchange for a life? Because that was what this task entailed…

The task he was about to accept, was that of a hitman. The government granted rewards of ten thousand dollars to those who were willing to go undercover and find out which members of their society did not follow the law concerning sexuality. Well, those who found them received only three thousand. Those who then also managed to end those so-called moles would receive the full ten grant. His job would be to be among the people and find out who was hiding their true, forbidden sexuality and to simply end their lives.

The government needed undercover hitmen like this because there were way too many moles for their normal police forces. The standard procedure was execution in the name of the state, according to the legal methods, like they to criminals who got the death sentence

These hitmen were different. Their methods were technically illegal, but if they got caught, they would be let off again before they could even go into trial. The government would close their eyes for crimes like the murder of these moles as long as the hit-man had an official permit given to them by the state. These hitmen were highly necessary since there was no way the government could punish every single mole, and other than that they'd gotten better at hiding their true nature as well.

“Then I would like to congratulate you with your permit,” the lady on the phone had said. “You know how it works. Find someone you think is suspicious, figure out whether they genuinely are or not, and then eventually end their life. Send the body over to the morgue and receive your ten grant. Try not to get caught. It's such a hassle to make them drop the charges,” she’d explained once more. “If you have any questions, do call us. The last thing I would like to add, is that the most important aspect of this job is instinct. Make sure you follow it. Don’t be a fool. Don’t ignore the signs.”

“But how will I be certain if it’s one of them?” Hyunjin had questioned. That’s what the moles were often referred to: them. Not us, but the other.

“You will know,” the lady had assured him. “I promise. I have to move on to the next call now. I wish you much wisdom and luck, Hwang Hyunjin. We are looking forward to seeing your first catch soon,” and with that, she’d ended the call. Hyunjin had sat on the couch and contemplated the idea for the rest of the morning, fumbling around with the permit that had just been activated in his hands.

Was he actually going to kill someone only because of their sexuality? He knew they were deemed evil. They were different, that's what everyone had always been told over the past centuries. They didn’t deserve a place in this society, according to the government. It was never completely explained why this difference from the rest was such a bad thing. They were still people, weren't they? Was he really capable of taking another human’s life?

He shook the thought off as he was walking outside in the rain with his hood pulled over his hair a couple of hours after the call. He needed the money, so he was going to succeed. He didn’t care how much it would cost him, or how long it was going to take him to find someone. He was going to try the best he could and that was all he could promise right now. After all, it would take a while before he’d find the first person, wouldn’t it? They were called moles for a reason.

That’s what Hyunjin thought before he saw him; the person who would change his life forever. The person that truly caught his attention. At first, he thought he was just looking at the back someone who had lost his mind, yelling meaningless words into the wind, but when he listened more closely, alarms should’ve started to ring immediately in the back of his head.

“I’m fucking different!” The figure with the blonde hair yelled into the wind, probably thinking nobody would be able to hear him over the loud thundering of the air. “I like men and there’s nothing I can do!” Hyunjin bit his lip. Bingo, he thought. This was going to be easier than he’d expected.

#skz #skz scenarios #stray kids #stray kids scenarios #bang chan #bang chan smut #hyunlix #skz hyunlix #skz packs #stray kids felix #lee felix #stray kids lee felix #skz lee felix #hwang hyunjin #skz hyunjin #stray kids hyunjin #skz hwang hyunjin #stray kids hwang hyunjin #hyunjin scenarios #felix scenarios #lee felix scenarios #hwang hyunlix scenarios #felix au #skz au #au #alternate universe #hyunjin au #stray kids au #skz gay #gay romance

[jay4firefic]

Pride, Buck x Kelly, Stella Kidd, 900 words

TW mentioned homophobia, mentioned child abuse, dieting

“You’ve never been to Pride?” Buck’s voice goes high at the end with what Kelly feels is an unwarranted amount of shock.

“Responded to a couple parade accidents and some ODs,” Kelly replies with a shrug as he goes about making breakfast. Usually Buck cooks breakfast and...well, everything else, actually. But now Buck is on some stupid diet with Stella - for Pride - that has him drinking protein shakes for breakfast, leaving Kelly on his own. It’s not that Kelly is incapable - he survived most of his adult life on toast and bland omelets hidden under too much hot sauce, sandwiches, and rare steak, though he certainly spends a lot less money on takeout since Buck moved in and took over his kitchen. 

“That doesn’t count,” Stella says from the bar, where she’s glaring into the depths of her own protein shake like it’s personally wronged her. Kelly has tried the damn things - it definitely has.

“Seriously, you’re telling me you’ve lived in a big city your whole life and you never went to Pride?” Buck huffs. “I grew up in a census designated place, Kelly! I didn’t get to go to Pride until I was twenty, and you just - ignored it your whole life? That’s not fair.”

“It’s not really my scene.”

“Not your sc--” Buck sputters, slamming his shake down on the bar. Kelly flips his omelet and then glances over his shoulder to raise an unimpressed eyebrow at his boyfriend. “Getting day drunk and partying with half naked hot people is absolutely your scene, Kel. What the fuck?”

“I told you,” Stella mutters, elbowing Buck. “He’s the straightest queer man I’ve ever met.”

“Nothing straight about what I did to Buck last night,” Kelly replies with a leer before turning back to the stove. Still, as he stares down at his omelet, he wonders. Nobody would ever accuse Kelly Severide of being a particularly self reflective man. He’s probably spent more time thinking about his feelings and how he communicates in the year he’s been dating Buck than in his entire adult life beforehand, excepting the aftermath of his first failed attempt at getting married. 

Kelly has been to plenty of gay bars - mostly with Shay, or when he wanted to pull - but before Buck’s latest fixation on reading about queer history in the lead up to Pride month he’s never really given much thought to his sexuality, or any community that might accompany it. Being bisexual is pretty far down the list of things he finds interesting about himself. He’s a firefighter first, that’s his community, and-- 

“It’s not like I’m not out,” he adds after a pause that lasted a little too long. “Just never really had a reason to be loud and proud about it. It’s not exactly an advantage in our line of work.” Which would make him sound like a coward, except he’s definitely out to the whole damn CFD after the Union barbecue last month, and he’s got no regrets. Punching Ethan Johnson in the teeth for calling Buck a fag had absolutely been worth the two shift suspension. 

“Yeah, I guess.” Buck is frowning when Kelly joins them at the bar, but he replaces it with a smile as soon as Kelly hooks their ankles together around the leg of the stool. “Can’t imagine Benny Severide was too thrilled when his only son came out.”

Kelly barks out a laugh, shakes his head. “Not at all. Got my bell rung pretty good when he and mom were trying to make a go of it again and he walked in on me with a guy when I was sixteen. But he was gone again too weeks later, so it didn’t really matter, and mom was too checked out to care.”

“Sorry.” Buck winces, knocking their shoulders together. Kelly just shakes his head again and drops his hand to squeeze Buck’s knee in silent reassurance that it’s all good. “I got myself all psyched up, gave a whole coming out, love it or leave it speech before taking a guy to winter formal one year, and the Buckleys just told me they weren’t interested in my latest phase and to stop being so dramatic.”

Just as Kelly opens his mouth to say something - something reassuring, hopefully, but he really isn’t sure - Stella knocks into Buck’s shoulder from the other side and chimes in. “My parents were dead by the time I figured it out, but Grant was never a fan. Probably should have been an early warning sign.”

“Jesus.” Buck laughs, and somehow it doesn’t even come out sad. “We’re a pitiful bunch, aren’t we? But that’s why we have Pride, man. To go celebrate who we are with all the other rejects, make it so nobody can just ignore our existence. You sure you don’t want to go, babe?”

“I’m sure,” Kelly says. For the first time since Buck and Stella started plotting and dieting he feels a little bad about that. Maybe he should pick up one of the colorful books Buck has left piled around the apartment these past few weeks and think about why he’s so opposed a little harder, but for now… “Maybe next year, if you two get into too much trouble without me.”

“Us? Get into trouble?” Stella asks with a grin that is anything but innocent.

“Never,” Buck finishes for her.

Yeah, Kelly has a feeling he’s going to have to go to Pride next year. If only as a babysitter.

#chicago fire fanfiction #9-1-1 fanfiction #kelly severide #evan buckley #bisexual evan buckley #bisexual kelly severide #bisexual stella kidd #the bisexual revolution at firehouse 51 #pride month #my fic

[mollygetssherlockcoffee]

Head Over Heels

Pairing: Spencer x fem!reader

Summary: (PADS, part 2) Y/N is asked on a date and Spencer isn’t best pleased

Warnings: None?

Words: 755

A/N: I can’t believe the response I got to Pad’s, I am beyond happy. Please enjoy this and if anyone has an imagine they would be interested in me writing... let me know!

Part One HERE   Part Three HERE

Master List HERE

She didn’t even look, she just held out her palm to him. Spencer took the muffin from her hand, tapping his finger on her palm as a sign of ‘thank you’ as she continued her conversation with JJ. Spencer nibbled at his half of the muffin, half listening to Y/N and JJ’s conversation, and half paying attention to the paperwork in from of him. 

“So, anything new come up with Nathan?” JJ asked, perched on the corner of Y/N desk.

While his head remained down, his eyes darted to look up at Y/N as she replied. “Pft, no. He’s asked me out three times and three times, I have said no. When is he going to get that I’m not interested?”

“But he’s cute!” JJ gushed, playfully nudging her shoulder. “Why not give him a chance? You haven’t been on a date in seven months, what are you waiting for?”

“I just… I don’t know, JJ, I just don’t find him attractive. I mean, the guys cute but he doesn’t attract me” she shrugged, scrunching her nose up.

 Spencer frowned to himself. Y/N had told him that Nathan had been speaking to her lately, that in the past month, he’d messaged her a few times a week to ask how she was. She’d been round at Spencer’s one night when she’d gotten one of those messages and had groaned, her head lulling back to rest of the back of the couch. She hadn’t, however, told Spencer that Nathan had asked her out.

 It was also rather curious that she had rejected the man. Nathan was an agent from the International Operations Division who the BAU had worked with two months previously. He was a man of average height, with dark blonde hair, blue eyes and was fairly well built. Spencer had heard Garcia giggling about him to Emily and Y/N when the case first finished but Y/N had seemed to shrug the agent off.

 Spencer was secure enough in sexuality to admit that the man was attractive. He could see and understand the appeal he would have towards women. However, it made Spencer wonder why you held no attraction towards Nathan. If he wasn’t your type, then what was?

 Spencer had had a crush on Y/N for long time. She always gave him half of her afternoon muffin without thinking about it. She carried hardboiled candy in her pockets for when they were on the jet and didn’t want to offset their ears. Spencer didn’t even think she realised she did it, but Y/N would always stand close to him when they delivered the profile with her arm or leg pressed against his in a show of silent support. She would listen to all of his rambling, would ask questions and genuinely seem intrigued. She would even go on little ‘rants’ – that’s what she liked to call them – on a subject she knew a lot about or was passionate about. She kept an eye out for any new research on schizophrenia, keen to keep up to date and help Spencer in his research for the best care of his mom.

 All those things, and more, just made Spencer fall in love with her. She didn’t do anything expecting a response, she did it just to be kind. She was amazing.

 And for that reason, Spencer knew he didn’t have a chance.

 Y/N was amazing, while he was not. At least not in the same was she was. Spencer was amazing at knowledge, Y/N was just an amazing person. 

Yet still, he couldn’t help but be in love with her. 

Spencer Reid was a shy man, so he couldn’t turn around and tell Y/N about his feelings. Instead, he showed her he cared in small ways. He saved her favourite seat on the jet, he took the lead when it came to geographical profiling – she was good at it, but it wasn’t her most comfortable part of the job – he ensured that he kept a hair tie on his wrist because Y/N always managed to forget or lose, even break, hers.

 If he was honest though, Spencer had been doing these things even before he came to love Y/N. Even when they were just friends, he kept her favourite drinks in his fridge, a few packets of her favourite popcorn in the cupboard. A pair of PJS and a old hoody in his chest of draws for their movie marathons or TV binge sessions.

  All in all, Spencer Reid was head over heels for Y/F/N Y/L/N.

TAG LIST: @101donuts​ @thatsonezesty13​ @sskhair​ @marvelscatlady​ @80strashbag​

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