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#//ik its not healthy i just want to get it out here so i dont do it with him
puppysnuff · 1 year
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i cant stand the thought of anyone else occupying your mind
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toastsnaffler · 11 months
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nvm im too tired and overstimulated for this shit
#.vent#i only slept a couple hours last night man. i cant do short notice evening socials on an empty tank let alone resist unexpected rsd#if they had let me know earlier then i wouldve taken a nap and worked out beforehand to get my energy back up#idk just. if u rly want my company then maybe u should actually invite me next time. its not like they didnt plan it#even if they just forgot its not particularly pleasant to be the one person insignificant enough to forget abt. theres only 5 of us#they rly remembered to ask the one guy who isnt even here before me yknow. ugh u see the stupid thoughts i have to battle!!#like on a rational level ik it was probably genuinely accidental. but the way i instinctively react is not always rational#so regardless someone has to deal with the emotional fallout and thats me. regulating this shit is hard work even when im NOT tired asf#i really really dont want to be an asshole and spoil anyones fun bc its no-ones fault + as real as it feels to me rn ik im overreacting#but i cant voluntarily expose myself to personal triggers when im already exhausted + more vulnerable than usual#so just gotta shut myself in my room and deal with it in my own super healthy ways as per usual. may they never fucking find out#trying my best not to be an asshole i hope to fucking god they dont think im being an asshole i just told them i was tired + i meant it#this wouldnt be so much of a problem if it hadnt happened to me before. and also ik its bc one rsd trigger makes me more sensitive-#to picking up unrelated cues but there ARE other things they do that i find ostracising which rly dont fucking help. but-#theyre not things i can actually confront them abt so usually i just gotta deal w it which is fine but it lowers my general tolerance#its ok. its ok i like them all a lot theyre lovely ppl and it doesnt matter if there is a some grain of truth in the things im thinking#bc the risk of me believing + acting on a bad faith irrational thought leads to outcomes that are far worse than those from#misidentifying someones malicious behaviour towards me as neutral by accident/in good faith. okay im done now i think#just ignore me spewing out the old brain gunk on main again eurgh anyway im gonna go calm myself and read and SLEEP#ill be normal by tomorrow morning farewell comrades#honestly i dont mind dealing w shit this way bc its the best option for everyone but man. sometimes its so fucking lonely#like there are sides of me ppl will never engage with and for good reason but without them being acknowledged i find it rly hard to feel-#any real emotional intimacy or closeness with another person. but what other option is there#i sure as hell dont miss the fights i used to constantly get into when i wasnt able to regulate myself i lost so many friends that way#it is what it is. on we go for now
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gennabi · 2 years
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Hiiii i didnt know wether ur request r open or not, if its not them im sorry and you can ignore this request. Can i request dating headcannons for Opera-san from Mairimashita!Iruma-kun? If you dont want to then its ok, you can ignore this request!
luv ur works! <3 remember to stay hydrated and eat 3 meals a day!
it's actually closed but this made my day, giggling just thinking abt it heh so here ya go 😚 awww thank you so much for loving them!! im honoured 😭🙆‍♂️ i will!! you too anon, please stay healthy n take care of urself <33
dating headcanons
opera x reader (no prns) • 0.6k
romantic; fluff
[ self explanatory title , opera's a little soft bcs yes , cw cussing ]
m!ik masterlist | main masterlist
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─does that thing where they would ask for the time you wake up and sleep just so they could text you good morning and good night 🥺
─opera's love language is acts of service bcs i say so
─they love to spoil you!!!
─from letting you sleep in for five more minutes to smtg like
─bathing you and washing your hair themselves when you come home tired, wordlessly massaging your shoulders as you doze off in the bathtub
─also a little mean teasing shit. the funny (or lowkey scary) thing is opera teases with a straight face. straight up spitting lies as if they're facts. if you're oblivious, goodluck figuring out if they're actually being serious or just teasing.
─"y/n, i've heard a rumour that if you don't kiss a certain red-haired butler, iruma is going to hate you and won't talk to you ever again."
"that's not true, he would never do such a thing─"
"you're saying i'm lying when i literally spend day and night in the same castle with him? wow, y/n, i expected better from you."
─they did get their kiss in the end so it all works out i guess ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
─also the type to play around with hair if you have them. you'll do cute and weird hairstyles on each other during sleepovers awww omg imagine opera w the cat ears hairstyle hfffffjjf
─speaking of sleepovers, would definitely be into face masks n shit but only views them as a "privilege/sleepover thing" if that makes sense
─mostly the big spoon but that's because they like to come in bed later than you, checking buttler stuffs for next morning yk, but if they're having an off day tomorrow, would definitely ask to be the little spoon and your heart just squeezes when their ears do that happy flap 🥺😭😭
─your dates are either staying in or some low-tension stuffs like picnics or having a walk through the streets at night kind of thing, they just like to hang around with you and listen to you talk and ramble :') <33
─loves it when you give them a headpat, like one where you do to actual cats
─they just grab your hand n brings it to their head and you ruffle. the first time iruma and sullivan saw it, they dropped their knees to the ground bcs OPERA PURRED??@$$?&
─when you're having a bad day, opera's ears are down all day :( they feel so bad when you feel bad, what's this. their sweetheart not feeling good? oh no :(
─go to extreme lengths to make you feel better (as u fucking deserve yeah!)
─mf bought a new comforter just so you can lie down comfortably in bed bless sullivan's debit card amen 🙏
─doesn't let you move at all like you wanna go to the kitchen? no need to worry. opera will bring the kitchen to you instead 🫡 *not sure if it'll show but its supposed to be the salute emoji
─spoon feeds you :( <3 and yk the thg they do when they sing a lullaby and pat iruma's body to sleep? yeah, they do that shit too. except they're lying beside you because what if a certain bald demon decides to disturb you in your sleep by being loud? no way they're letting that happen🤕
─also LOVES giving you nicknames 💔💔💔 more so the slightly corny ones lmao
─the thing is they do it so smoothly and with their blank signature face even you didn't notice it the first time.
─"do you prefer something light or heavy for tomorrow’s breakfast, lovebug?"
"_ would be nice─ wait what"
─opera's fav place to kiss is your fingers sighs just imagine you talking to them as they play with your fingers and hum as they give each a delicate peck. also has a habit of kissing the inside of ur hands when u cup their cheeks WAHHH 😭😭💗
okay that's it im going to stop here before i go insane and cry more bcs opera's not real </3
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princessdiaries333 · 6 months
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December goals + accountability post
୭ ❄️ ✧ ˚. ᵎᵎ 🎀
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DRINK WATER
i seriously need to cut back on the amount of soda i’m drinking its so bad for me. my skin is suffering and ik water is super super beneficial, it will help me achieve all the rest of my goals !! my goal is to drink at least 4 bottles of water a day.
DONT PROCRASTINATE
i have so many things i need and want to do, i’ve been so swamped and drowning in school work i need to spend this winter break to get ahead and study. i also need to get my permit, it’s been almost a year since i turned 15 and im still putting it off. if i keep waiting i wont be able to get my license till im 17. i also really really wanna get a job. my goal is to study for all my classes to prepare for the new quarter and get my permit.
WORKOUT
i’m currently the lightest i’ve been in a long time but i’m not satisfied with how i look. i feel fatter than ever and it sucks because ive worked so hard to get to this point and i can’t enjoy it. i think the biggest reason i feel like this is because i haven’t been working out, over the summer i was working out every day and i was getting really toned. now I’ve lost weight but in not toned at all so it makes me feel like im bigger than i am cuz it’s all soft fat. my goal is to do pilates at least 5 times a week and try to go on walks every day.
EAT HEALTHY
i NEED to stop binging sm crap. i’m constantly eating junk food that doesn’t even fulfill me. most of the food i eat just makes me feel miserable right after. eating healthier will improve my general health but also my mental health and yk that’s great !! i also want to eat smaller portions because my mom always piles food onto my plate and forces me to eat the whole thing. so to avoid this and so i can be completely aware of what i’m putting in my body, my goal is to cook my own food and meal prep healthy and nutritious meals.
GET OFF THE PHONE
i want to spend more of my time doing things that make lasting and meaningful memories and help me grow instead of spending every hour of the day rotting in bed on my phone. i’ve been so busy with school i haven’t been able to finish any of my books so id like to dedicate some of this break to finishing those. i also want to go out with my friends and boyfriend more. my goal is to spend less time on my phone and more time doing things i enjoy and spending time with the people i love !!
ACADEMICS
i’ve been telling myself for so long that i’ll do a deep dive and fully research all things regarding college so i can build my game plan for the next 2 years. i’m a sophomore in high school so i want to know exactly where i want to go from here. i need to know what schools i want to go to, how to qualify for certain scholarships, what i want to major in, what are the best schools for my passions, how will i pay for it. there’s so much to find out and if i make my plan now i’ll save myself sm stress down the road. my goal is to set up a college plan and do thorough research for my future.
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lesbianyosano · 11 months
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Just kind of a general plot question bcs I feel like I’m blanking here. I know that within the story one of the huge themes are cycles of abuse (specifically among the port mafia characters) like the whole mori-> dazai -> akutagawa-> kyouka(?) situation but for the life of me I can’t remember what exactly the dazai mori catalyst beginning of the cycle event was. Obviously odas death was the big betrayal of trust that broke dazai away from the mafia, and there was that whole killing the former pm leader deal(was that it though??) because Ik fandom has a tendency of portraying mori as this cartoonishly evil abuser when he’s more complex then that (even if I don’t personally like him lol) but I feel like I’m completely forgetting everything about that whole dynamic lol. I hope you have a great day!
honestly i dont think there really exists a catalyst like that. i think the discussion about mori and dazai's relationship tends to get really weird bc it's always treated as a singular abusive situation between the 2 of them, completely taken out of context. as in, "mori's an abusive creep and everyone around him actually hates him for it", with disregard for the context of his interactions with dazai.
they are both mafia members, their relationship cannot be a healthy and supportive one specifically because of that. mori's manipulation and grooming isn't out of place, it's what funtioning in that system requires of him, the same way it's what was later required of dazai with akutagawa. it's less about mori being someone who's personally irredeemable and more that mafia needs to continually raise its new members to continue to exist, the abuse is systematic and will never cease to be treated as a tool as long as the organization is still in place. i'd argue it's the reason why beast mori manages to change and become a much more sympathetic version of himself. his relationship with yosano is similar, the abuse takes place because the military allows it. obviously mori is still very much complicit, but his utalitarian approach can only go so far due to the lack of institutional response
and i think this perception of abuse as something that only exists, and is perpetrated on, on a personal level is also what leads to this weird mischaracterization of mori's relationship with chuuya and kouyou. you see this in fanfics a lot, when they both secretly hate him because he's a pedo and abused dazai, which is absolute bullshit. they don't hate him, they seem to enjoy spending time with him even when they don't need to. they are both extremely loyal and strive to keep as him the pm boss, neither ever raises concerns to how he treats dazai, and elise also never gets commented on. fundamentally, they are no better than him. they are a part of this same organisation and it is in their interest to keep the power structure as it is. kouyou tries to groom and manipulate kyouka, projecting onto her, similarly how mori does with dazai. chuuya talks about wanting q dead (despite the weirdly popular hc that they're close and familiar). and im not saying this because i think anyone should hate them, or that people need to love mori all of a sudden, but because ignoring this flattens all of them as characters. they are meant to be bad people, in huge part because they choose to be (they could all leave the mafia the way dazai did lmao)
mori (i think) gets the most hate also because of his perceived sexual deviancy. you see this a lot, where people will make non stop jokes about characters being murderers/war criminals and how it's actually fun and cool (it is), but the moment the crimes go into a territory of sexual offense (sometimes real and sometimes perceived), those crimes can no longer be excused, and everything else about the character is forgotten. the lolicon gag with mori and elise is. weird yeah and it's perfectly fine to be uncomfortable with it, but as far as we know, there is nothing to indicate mori has ever sexually abused a child, the deal with elise is unclear, even if there are some questionable comments. and again, im not saying this to make him more likable or to make him less of a creep, it's just that i dont think this characterizaton leads anywhere, other than a twisted perception of like. half of the cast
sorry for going off asdgsafhdf ive been meaning to talk about this and you have unfortunately given me space to do so </3
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mountymase · 1 year
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OMFG CHAPTER SIX PART ONE????? Girl it was so good!!! so so so sweet and ugh. just melted my heart and made me feel all fuzzy i NEED moreee 🥹🫶 the family interactions melt my heart and i am so excited to see yns & masons relationships with each others familys develop along with their own 💞 but this new oliver guy…. he better watch his back im not letting anything come in between yn and mason and their chances of becoming a cute family for real🤺🤺 but i am looking forward to the possible angst 👀 im just so obsessed with this series!! their whole not-yet-family dynamic is so cute and lily’s relationship w her new family is so so so sweet and heartwarming and you capture it so well in ur writing!!! like fr youre giving me baby fever 🥲
and i know you said you wanted feedback and im not sure if you’re looking for constructive criticism and if not then just ignore this and not post it: the entire chapter was so well written and i loved every part of it! and i really hope you don’t think im being mean or anything because i think you’re a great writer and literally one of my favourites on here and i know you get pressured by a lot of other anons on here to post the next chapters asap so ik its not your fault but some parts felt a little bit rushed?? you probably felt pressured to push out as much of the next part asap so i completely understand bc i know how ruthless some people on here could be and this chapter was still wonderful of course and ive reread this part like 5 times since last night lmfao but i think what would make the series better/improve your writing is if you made each scenario a little bit more detailed? meeting masons parents for example felt a little bit rushed as there wasnt much detail about what exactly happened when mason explained everything and i would’ve appreciated more detail into how his parents reacted to everything he said and how that affected yn??? you have so much potential and are already so good at writing but i think if you slowed down a little bit, the whole story would be sm better (not that its bad rn, bc im obsessed with it regardless) i really hope im not being rude or hypercritical because that’s not my intention at all, i just think you have so much potential and i would love to see u reach that w this series <33 oh god this is a lot of words but basically i think you should slow down with the series and put as much detail as u can into each scenario (if you want to/are up for it ofc, because its still great as it is rn) because i honestly think this series and you as a writer have so much potential and i want to see u become an even better one w this series bc i LOVE the plot and all ur work. again, i love u i hope im not being a bitch or mean or too demanding but i think to make the series better u should slow down and like. kinda savour each scenario?? because personally i would love more detail to fuel my delusions LOL and i know its hard because of how much pressure anons put u under so if u think its easier to continue as is and forget about this anon then that’s completely fine too <3 im still gonna read each chapter over and over again anyway 😌🫶 but yea this chapter was 10/10 and really sweet and i am so excited for the next part and i really hope youre not taking this as me being mean, im just suggesting areas u can improve on but i dont want to be hypercritical at all and i dont want to make u feel bad bc i love u and think ur great and this is getting too long now lol ok love u bye
This. This is how you share constructive criticism and people should learn from you!
First, I wanna thank you for reading my story. Means a lot, and I’m really happy you’re enjoying it!
Yes, it was rushed, I think it has to do with how little I’ve been able to focus on it over the past week and how hard it is for me to write family interactions considering my experience with my own family has always been so fucking toxic I don’t know much what a healthy dynamic is like. I tend to rewrite Mason and Lily a lot because I’m never fully happy with their dynamic. But I was thinking of writing individual interactions? Like, Y/N getting closer to his parents and eventually telling them how she felt? I have some ideas for the next chapter and I think that’d fit and I’d love to know your thoughts on it if you’d like to DM me? ♥️
Thank you, again! ♥️♥️♥️
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shimenawas · 2 years
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SAMIEE SAW THAT URE GOING HIATUS D: take a break as long as u need okay??? take a lot of rest!!! and make sure to do things that u wanna do don't let anyone stop u otherwise!! unless its money then i-🧍‍♀️ ANYWAY TAKE CARE THERE SAMIE, PRIORITIZE UR HEALTH! DON'T GET PRESSURED ABT NOT WRITING ANYTHING FOR MONTHS, you're not required to write always, just enjoy what you do try and not overthink too much about it and if the time comes that you leave tumblr and we can't keep in touch anymore do know that if u plan to come back we'll be here waiting!!!! and if you don't plan on coming back then i wish you the best! I'LL DEFINITELY MISS U SAMIE but do what heals u and makes your mental health better, try things you think you'll enjoy, don't think too much just enjoy yourself and what u do or want to do <333 and feeling burnt out and depressed is alright okay?? there's nothing wrong with you just because you feel like shit and lost motivation, you're valid!! don't bottle up ur emotions! cry if u want, squeal and just let it all out<3 keep trying and stay strong sam!! everything will be okay:)) p.s: if someone made u feel liek that, who r they, wjo do i need to fight?1?2?$?1(?!?/j
TAKE CARE SAM! DONT FOGRET ME IF U DO LEAVE TUMBLR😔 U WERE ONE OF MY FIRST MOOTS SO I CHERISH U SM‼️‼️ SO PLEASE TAKE CARE AND STAY HEALTHY YOU'LL BE OKAY! IT'S JUST A BAD MONTH/YEAR :) URE STRONG SAMIE IK IT I BELIEVE IN UUU‼️ ILYSM!! :( <3
NYX :((((
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hello, lovie!! its not during the day for you but i really needed to sleep for a bit. its either gonna be really long and have more than 2 parts or really short (not likely). 'matt like mumbling' he!! hes the least understandable person in hotd for me. i love you man but can you like.. SPEAK.. open your mouth yk. hope youll watch the episode. 'T_T Спасибо, любимый' cute but its a masculine form.. one friend calls me that while joking TT Всё нормально, дорогая. 'I ALREADY LOOKED UP THE LYRICS AND GOT THE ROMANIZED RUSSIA' omg its so sweet of you TT so. im listing my fav songs so you can just choose whatever youre comfortable with. my ultimate bias is '24/7' by the neighbourhood but it has rap. but ive got a feeling that your magnificent voiced sound so good in this. 'the lighthouse' and 'honey' (idk it also has some kind of rap? not really but yeah. im that kind of person fr) by halsey. ive seen you dooing some kpop covers so if youre ever interested i think youd sound great in 'she's fine' by heize. oh and ive just found 'why do you love me' by charlotte lawrence but ive been listening to minnies cover. ohoh and. have you ever seen steven universe? it has great songs no matter what (i havent watched the last seasons so cant say anything). so 'love like you' and 'here comes a thought' are soso AAAH. maybe youll like them. thats all ig. tbh, id love to see whatever cover you make! bc youre just the most pretty and talented hottie-cutie and i luvluv you <з 'this is how i feel about music' ooh its good to know! well-well im 18 and im studying slavic philology. yk passion for.. just language. dull but still. 'i wanted to write it but now i dont' omg beauty idk how i can help you TT hope youll make it out. no matter if youll manage to write it or decide not to. 'i think you mean your are ok with yourself getting hurt' well i didnt mean it but not gonna say its completely wrong. i meant this more in a.. sarcastic way? a fake joy of ruining my life. here we have a culture of death and depression related jokes and sarcasm and so on. the pressing environment. it sounds awful but.. were all so mentally ill its DREADFUL but funny) 'idk what i feel about the nickname' i meant it in a 'good person' way but if youre uncomfortable with it, im sorry. the bread eating tradition is actually from the ancient Rus ig? but nvm its become stronger after the wwII bc of the lack of bread during it. now 1) lots of teens says against this culture bc now we have enough food and they say its outdated 2) a culture of healthy eating is strong and twisted a bit? a lot of people dont eat bread to not gain weight. i just dont like bread so much to eat it with everything. 'DAMN WITH NO RICE' yeah were criminals. well its not really an equivalent of flan but it reminds it in a way. 'запеканка' literally means a thing that is baked?.. its usually made with the cottage cheese or the shortbread and then literally anything a person can think of. idk whos nada... but ill definately watch this vid later! give me more english vids with some social themes pls. 'ok for me not to feel that much feelings at all towards nada' yeah ig thats it? tbh tolerance is a little overrated?.. ik how it sounds but hear me out. maybe its just me but preferring something or smn with privileges over smth or smn without those very privileges seems not so right nowadays no matter what is the reason? as not liking a woman arouses a question about being a sexist while not liking a man isnt discussed and everyone understands why. i know why its like this but im not gonna continue, its going to be long. you have a right to not feel strong feelings when you dont feel them. its simple. it doesnt matter if its a male or female character. we all are too determined about our sexes? ok but im not continuing THIS definately. ig ill answer to why you love that issue the most in the next part. and i want to discuss smth else about discrimination. so! have a nice morning/day/evening, see you in the next part!
Hello baby!!!
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i appreciate the fact the person put the kitties in the towel/blanket.
its not during the day for you but i really needed to sleep for a bit. its either gonna be really long and have more than 2 parts or really short (not likely).
you should ONLY send me asks when its day FOR YOU 😡🤺 pls take care of yourself T_T i dont mind waiting T_T
'matt like mumbling' he!! hes the least understandable person in hotd for me. i love you man but can you like.. SPEAK.. open your mouth yk. hope youll watch the episode.
LOLAHSKHASLFHKLAHSFHSAFHFH FOUL poor matty T_T BUT NAH UR SO RIGHT he be mumblin but i love him we still love him HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA OPEN YOUR MOUTH BOY i'll try to watch it
'T_T Спасибо, любимый' cute but its a masculine form.. one friend calls me that while joking TT Всё нормально, дорогая.
i didnt know you have fem/masc form of words O.O mind blown. i checked the translation and apparently it became darling? i typed my love actually so thats on google translate. it seems like something a friend would do HAHAHAH
'I ALREADY LOOKED UP THE LYRICS AND GOT THE ROMANIZED RUSSIA' omg its so sweet of you TT so.
idk if i;ll ever sing it but i do like that song
im listing my fav songs so you can just choose whatever youre comfortable with. my ultimate bias is '24/7' by the neighbourhood but it has rap. but ive got a feeling that your magnificent voiced sound so good in this.
but theres no rap here? the verses just are quite monotonous or they dont sing in a wide range of notes. rap usually are atonal meaning they dont have a pitch its like talking but with rhythm. it's a fine song. i like the neighbourhood. i now know what kind of songs you gravitate to
'the lighthouse' and 'honey' (idk it also has some kind of rap? not really but yeah. im that kind of person fr) by halsey.
i listened to lighthouse! i like it exponentially more that the first song because of its grit. it kind of has a rock vibe, which i enjoy. i havent listened to halsey in a long time so you've made me like her again. random fact i was so freaked out by her name when i first encountered her T_T because i couldn't read it as any other way than ashley (which is what her name is an anagram of) idk i think i have mild dyslexia. i listened to honey too! i like it as well but i like lighthouse the most because THE GRIT 😩 but i could do this one too. halsey be talkin about thighs and being mean HAHHAHA kinky HAHAHAHAh thank you for reviving my interest in halsey btw none of these songs have raps babe
ive seen you dooing some kpop covers so if youre ever interested i think youd sound great in 'she's fine' by heize.
pls why would you watch my old videos T_T its cringe cos i didnt have equipment yet at the time. id rather not do a kpop cover because im very concerned about pronouncing words wrong. also the song is just fine to me HAHAHAH like its title. i will do lighthouse then HAHAHH gimme a few days to learn it. im also editing 2 songs so i can finally post it. i recorded yesterday. i hope you like it when i show it to you. i wont link it anymore since you have my youtube so i hope you subbed and put notifs on HAHAHH
oh and ive just found 'why do you love me' by charlotte lawrence but ive been listening to minnies cover. ohoh and.
this sounds so much like so happy together by the turtles . i like it shes like fine shes toxic HAHAHAHHA we love that in art HAHHAAH shes quite monotonous too so yeah its fine
have you ever seen steven universe? it has great songs no matter what (i havent watched the last seasons so cant say anything). so 'love like you' and 'here comes a thought' are soso AAAH. maybe youll like them. thats all ig.
i know steven universe. I listened 'love like you' AND I LOVE THE SONG SO MUCH but i would have to do the instrumentals and if i dont the song would be ruined and the instrumentals are so sweet i might mess it up idk. i like the second song too, here comes a thought, but the first one is so much nicer to me. maybe because the performer is better in the first one.
tbh, id love to see whatever cover you make! bc youre just the most pretty and talented hottie-cutie and i luvluv you <з
aw thank you baby T_T
'this is how i feel about music' ooh its good to know!
<3
well-well im 18 and im studying slavic philology. yk passion for.. just language. dull but still.
WOW I HAD TO LOOK UP WHAT PHILOLOGY IS THATS SO COOL ITS NOT DULL AT ALL om ur 18 T_T ur a baby T_T ur a literal child T_T my goodness T_T T_T T_T i feel kinda weird now T_T for interacting with someone thats about my younger brothers age online T_T my child my goodness
'i wanted to write it but now i dont' omg beauty idk how i can help you TT hope youll make it out. no matter if youll manage to write it or decide not to.
HAHAAH I MEANT I WANT TO WRITE IT BUT NOT ANYMORE AT THE MOMENT it happens HAHAHH but i still will write the fic dont worry
'i think you mean your are ok with yourself getting hurt' well i didnt mean it but not gonna say its completely wrong. i meant this more in a.. sarcastic way? a fake joy of ruining my life. here we have a culture of death and depression related jokes and sarcasm and so on. the pressing environment. it sounds awful but.. were all so mentally ill its DREADFUL but funny)
ah i see. i have friends who joke about death/dying a lot but i never like it nor do i condone it as the designated mom friend so pls i know its a joke but dont be so ok with it.
'idk what i feel about the nickname' i meant it in a 'good person' way but if youre uncomfortable with it, im sorry.
NO WHY ARE YOU APOLOGIZING I JUST SAID IDK WHAT I FEEL ABOUT IT ITS NOT UNCOMFY ITS JUST LIKE ??? IDK WHAT I FEEL ABOUT IT STOP APOLOGIZING 🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬
the bread eating tradition is actually from the ancient Rus ig? but nvm its become stronger after the wwII bc of the lack of bread during it. now 1) lots of teens says against this culture bc now we have enough food and they say its outdated 2) a culture of healthy eating is strong and twisted a bit? a lot of people dont eat bread to not gain weight. i just dont like bread so much to eat it with everything.
ahhhh i see. wwii L. diet culture is ulTRA MEGA L. i love bread but not just like plain bread. i understand what you mean about bread. i mean love the possibilities you could have with bread. you can make it toast you can eat it with hot choco you can make a sandwich YUM but bread < rice lol
'DAMN WITH NO RICE' yeah were criminals.
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well its not really an equivalent of flan but it reminds it in a way. 'запеканка' literally means a thing that is baked?.. its usually made with the cottage cheese or the shortbread and then literally anything a person can think of.
i see! this looks like a cheesecake like the baked version (because there's a no baked version) REALLY INTERSTING LOOKS YUMMY 10/10 would lOVE TO TRY even though i cant even read the russian symbols and my brain is like ah yes the one thats almost is a rectangle is a p (based on all the russian texts ive seen since talking with you) wtf why is the a 3 and the k is probably not a k
idk whos nada...
yes i know T_T HAHAHAHAH
but ill definately watch this vid later! give me more english vids with some social themes pls.
that channel that made that video (theyre called the take) have amazing insight on things. i think the first video i watched on them was about himbos or perhaps it was the one i enjoyed the most?? which is why i remember it but yeah they have amazing takes on things pun intended
'ok for me not to feel that much feelings at all towards nada' yeah ig thats it? tbh tolerance is a little overrated?.. ik how it sounds but hear me out. maybe its just me but preferring something or smn with privileges over smth or smn without those very privileges seems not so right nowadays no matter what is the reason? as not liking a woman arouses a question about being a sexist while not liking a man isnt discussed and everyone understands why. i know why its like this but im not gonna continue, its going to be long. you have a right to not feel strong feelings when you dont feel them. its simple. it doesnt matter if its a male or female character. we all are too determined about our sexes? ok but im not continuing THIS definately.
but this is very true. some people can be like oh u dont like this woman you misogynist ??? no thats not how that works ???? it was a good food for thought for me though, kind of this catharsis I had over nada. i went from omg am i internally misogynistic to oh wait nah its just that she's literally just a plot device without too much depth used for nada. this now kind opens the discussion of, oh women are only used as plot devices for character development of men. and yeah thats a problem but T_T yeah lets not get into that AHHHHAHAHA
yeah you should be able to like and not like a character but hopefully you only do it based on their character not something like apperance sex or whatever
ig ill answer to why you love that issue the most in the next part. and i want to discuss smth else about discrimination. so! have a nice morning/day/evening, see you in the next part!
AH YES LETS GO PHILOSOPHICAL DEBATE HOLLA
xxx
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friendlystarfruit · 2 years
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Thoughts on TikTok? I see videos of celebs or random vloggers talking about their happy families and healthy relationships with their parents. It makes me feel bad that I never had it. I mean ik I can manifest it. But I missed a lot of happy moments as a child. I sure would love to live my life again as a kid but I feel that my past built the present me.
I havent studied the issues of social media in great deal but it makes sense that people on social media that get popular present the ideal life. Oddly tiktok is one that is very strange indeed people often get into trouble with bad challenges some dangerous.
The happy family tik toks at least aren't dangerous but can make people feel bad about their own life.
You dont get to choose the brain you are born with, your parents, where you grow up, your , race , etc so much of life isnt in your control, but even if relationships with your family are difficult , even if they can never be what you want them to be (and who knows maybe they can) I know you mentioned you know this but make sure to remind yourself you arent doomed to be unloved, unwanted and not complete , lovers, friends and even new family members can become an important part of your future and your happiness , our childhood and childhood relationships have a big effect on us but you can still succeed and develop into a happy and successful human being who has recovered from unhealthy relationships and made new ones , and yea I know though you already know that and you still feel you missed out , you just feel how you feel, maybe its like like grief ? maybe its yearning.....whatever it is its human but it isnt something that has to forever old you back. You can makeit through (= even if it starts with letting yourself feel how you feel and setting up a plan to overcome those feelings to enjoy your future or to channel those feelings into helping others and being the needed empathy and understanding to be the family you never had for other people.
I get on really well with my mother , I get on better with my father now. I still have demons with my youth too and I know there are people who dont get on with their parents who do really well, I dont wanna go on here about my demons but for me time did a lot to help me....a lot of time and Im still not there yet but at least now I dont feel living is too difficult to be worth it
I understand why you can both miss being a child but not want to go back, for one as you said your past makes you , you and our identities are a large part nurture , in fact a lot of our brain development is shaped by our childhood. Being a child though has some amazing perks too as well as you feel you are owed a healthy and happy childhood but you know how different youd be with it and that can scare us because what makes us "us" is our past both good and bad.
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pekklewife · 3 years
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just venting on here bc i dont really need anyone to respond and i dont want to emotionally dump on anybody especially rn when there is a lot of very upsetting current events
#being angry and resentful isnt really helping me and i think im doing well with processing my emotions in healthy ways#its just so so exhausting to be in charge of motivating someone who drags their feet every single step and i hate feeling like the bad guy#but like i literally HAVE to do it he cant keep procrastinating he needed to be ready like a week ago and hes just now starting UGHDHSG#he has gotten so offended every conversation about it and i get it i really do but it leaves me feeling unacknowledged and unappreciated#like hes comparing him packing 4 boxes of his room stuff to me packing everything for my room#transporting everything here and bringing over everything from the kitchen#setting up the house and facilitating the internet installation while also checking on our poor kitty#and im doing all of this while physically ill!!! and hes stronger than me so why am I doing more heavy lifting then him????#i knew this was going to happen which is why i prepared so early so that i could help him but hes not even really accepting help#like im really going to start crying and pulling out hair and my dads already at a 98 hes going to explode if something doesnt change soon#and i just dont want to listen to bro complain about the nagging because im too close to the situation and my own emotions are heightened#i dont want to deal with the inevitable emotional fallout especially since i am starting my period AND im completely sober theres nothing to#take the edge off or chill me out and both of the men are going to need someone to lean on emotionally and i am the only one here UGHHHHHHH#i was sobbing last night about current events and just everything the stress is catching up to me and i need someone to lean on but i have#to keep being strong to keep being the constant stable that my dad needs rn and yeah ik it isnt rlly fair or healthy but its what is and im#doing what i can to make sure i am also taken care of.. just really reslly hard i could use a hug and some encouragement
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bazpitch · 6 years
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college makes me feel lonelier than high school
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gumdecay · 5 years
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#ntway being drunk is enuf of n excuse 2 b pathetic on mai iright? (this isntn my main but i treat it ike it is so)#i was gnna post this one in body of tst 2 but tis. bad. its BAD! so into the tags it goes :') but im like.. 90% sure 3/ of my 6 friends hate#me n ike. 2 of them (1 who hates me 1 who Toerates me) r only friends w me bc they have no tothr friends n like. idk! its disheartening#of the 3 one ive been friends w since middle school so im p sure the only resn they havent ditched me competely is bc of how long weve known#each othr n they Pity me 4 not havin ny othr friends/ a life/ etc :') 1 we just nvr talk nymore idk y.. n 1 weve nvr been close but uhh im p#sure they only like me bc i give her postive attention so. uk. uk.. the othr 3 i think just.. tolerate me.. feel 2 bad 4 me 2 like ditch me#competey :')p sure the main factor in icherally all my friendships is pity which. makes sense since im pathetic! lol! :')#truly truly wish ny one of my attempts had killed me ny one of my od's had kiled me licherally NYTHING wd kill me :')  tired of bein here#tired of evrything evrything evrything tired of nthing evr getting bttr tired of being so completely fuckin alone :') tired of trying consta#ntly n having NOTHING 2 show 4 it :') idk. i was so excited 4 2018 n for a Minute i was excited 4 2019 but like........ the only reason i ha#vent tried killing ymself recently is bc 1 im saving up 2 move n having money n dying w/o spending it seems. wasteful. (biggest reason) 2 my#dog wld not kno where i went or what happened or y i dont see him nymore n wld probably feel bad n get sad n hes already not so healthy#3 my friends wld feel bad#thats it! none of those reasons r evn abt me! theres no reason i Want 2 stay here stay lviing except i have money rn at this moment n ppl wl#d feel bad if i died.. but genuinely i get very little joy out of living the only time im happy is when im high n when im getting positive a#ttention n those rnt reasons 2 keep living.. i wanna get published but only bc i kno my writing is good n iw ant attention so again not a go#od reason 2 keep living.. genuinely cant imagine myself living evn anothr decade cantimagine myself EVR bein happy cant imagine nything exce#pt what im livin rn at this mometn w tiny minor improvements :')#im sick of it lol!!#imready 2 b done im ready 4 anothr do ovr im ready 4 the next incarnation 2 not b so fucking terrible from the start :')#i genuinely hate this life the only good things dont come from me they come from othr ppl n othr things i cant find happiness or love in mys#elf n im tired of trying :')#idk ig :')
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autisticstarseed · 6 years
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yo im hiding my blog for a bit so its only viewable on the dashboard cuz idk if other people can have privacy i feel like i should too?? idk when itll be back up but either way i promise im not gonna like. use this to go on rants or make call out posts or w/e, honestly, im just gonna talk about personal stuff the exact same way i have been, only when its necessary and only saying as much as i feel i need to. i just rly dont feel like i can really move on from people unless i know ive got some privacy during this time when im healing. ty for reading
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dannythedog · 3 years
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Ok hot take (and besite I’m not coming for you here at all bc I know a lot of the time you dont talk about their drama or personal lives unless its something serious but) no doubt over the past few months greta blew up lol not a bad thing its just a fact. Before they went viral on tiktok for their snl performance a few months ago they had a fan base but nothing like this. To put it in perspective almost every show they did was like the troubadour. And like I said nothing wrong w new fans or more fans. Music is a universal experience and I’m glad they’re getting recognition. But I’ve noticed a lot of new fans (not all) are #1 younger and a little bit immature and #2 overly interested in their personal lives and the gossip and they take it waaaaaaaaay too far and that kind of behavior is what makes bands stop sharing their personal lives all together like pretty soon all the gfs are gonna have to be as private as jita and they arent going to talk about anything personal. For example, I cant say exactly how ik bc I dont want to get clocked but I’m a close friend of a good friend of the significant other of the girl who was walking out of gretallica with sam and the fandom really embarrassed themselves with that. Shes been a longtime friend and shes in a very healthy happy committed relationship and she actually had to take down photos of the guy shes with off her ig because people were harassing her so much and commenting stuff like “see she has a bf” and making tiktoks and some fans even went as far as to dm the guy and make him and her super uncomfortable and its not like she can delete her socials or go private bc shes a musician and publicity and social media is important to her job. But regardless of that situation (and it shouldn’t even matter if he WAS with her) do fans like that not think she doesnt say something to sam or the rest of the guys and they dont find out about that? And how weird it is? And how embarrassing it is for them when fans are acting like that to friends or loved ones? All I’m saying is ik a lot of new fans are young and excited and theres nothing wrong with that or being curious about the personal lives and relationships of famous people you like but there’s definitely a line and its been getting crossed A LOT lately and I just wish people would stop. Ive been a fan for years and them getting bigger is awesome, bigger shows, more followers, more people loving their music and their message. But a lot of it is bad too like this situation and some similar situations like when people thought josh was dating paige like sometimes the digging and harassing is too much and as a long time fan I can tell you honestly I can tell it’s starting to take a toll bc their vibe and how they interact with fans is starting to change a little bit and it’s disappointing to see and disappointing that fans who arent crazy dont get as good of an experience because of shit like that. My philosophy has always been like its ok to wonder but if they arent sharing it with you outright theres a reason so wonder all you want but dont dig, ask, harass, or make people uncomfortable to find out.
I agree. This is really starting to get out of control. I saw someone on tiktok who commented "What if hannah left that pic of her 'bf' up to cover up the fact she's dating sam now" and I even told that person that they were reaching and rumors like this can really damage her relationship with her bf if they're still together. I'm really disappointed with how the fans are treating people in the guys' lives. They won't want to interact with us anymore and it's gonna suck so much. We really need to just chill out and not make every little thing a problem. It's gonna burn us in the long run
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saintobio · 3 years
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i´ve been waiting for so long to leave an ask here :d. i really love sn and its one of my favorites series rn, i really adore how you put the characters and the amount of detail and work that you put in it is the best and makes me think that this would look in the big screen or something like that cuz ive never seen a plot so messy (in a good way haha i really love the twists and development to every single character including the ones that dont play a huge role into the novel) hope i can read++
++ more of it and see what is gonna be at the end !! <33 im glad i found this work ( ill tell u my final thoughts at the end of the series or at least at the end of the 1st season haha)
@japanesevenom said
saint holy shit it’s been a while since I’ve caught your inbox after reading a chapter and I’ve got to say…. I’m speechless I having nothing to give apart from tears and the broken pieces of my heart god damn I mean we knew it all from the start but I’m still really hurt by the revelation honestly you’re going to give me a heart condition it’s not healthy for my heart to hurt this much I feel like It’s caged in metal im crying
But oh my god I love sad desperate satoru it’s truly questionable how much I reread his reaction to the divorce announcement and now to this something about men when they’re begging for forgiveness and professing their love that hits different well I love u
Damn… at least we had lots of fluff on his birthday now we got to figure out custody of the baby my god
Anonymous said
This isn’t really an ask but thank you so much for writing Sincerely Not, I never knew a post that I happened to fall upon at 3 am one morning would take over about 4 months of my life. It’s crazy that it’s coming to an end and I’m excited to see what you have in store for us readers !! Take care 💛💛💛
Anonymous said
im nervous for sn2 omg >///< also tmi was listening to this song "i love you so - the walters" and reminded me of sn ❤️ thank you sm for the great series saint!!! i hope ur getting enough rest stay safe 💟
Anonymous said
i haven’t been able to interact or read the latest chapters because of uni but just wanted to check in! hope you’re doing good and that your days are well Saint!
-🦢
@natsukashii-ai said
Yayy!! finally! i just wanted to addressed your AMAZING work for “sincerely not” wow such a treat 💖 keep the good work sweetie ✌🏻
Anonymous said
i havent written an ask in so so so so long because i know you have a lot on your plate and didnt wanna add to it but i just want you to know that your works are absolutely amazing, ik you hear it from many people already but i just wanna say i appreciate you a whole lot. you stories are fucking amazing i dont know how many times I've reread all of them already. sincerely not keeps me going lately its something that i look forward to every week something that makes me wanna get up everyday 😭😭 i love u and ur works so much words arent enough!!
@sin-with-quiche said
I just want to say I'm a huge fan of this story. I love everything you put into it. The thought, the dedication, the love. I'm sure us readers can feel all of it. I recommended this to my friend, and she absolutely loves it too. We fangirl & discuss about the story! I swear to God, you have first class material to make this into an excellent drama! Do take care of yourself, and don't mind the negative remarks. I love you & your work so much!!! <3(btw I sent another ask long ago, hope u read it!)
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THANK YOUUUU SO MUCH 😭😭😭 sn1 is ending soon and i’m really grateful for the love u guys have given this series <33 i appreciate the feedback and support !!
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for the mostly likely to thing, i saw these questions on a glee page awhile ago, but if you want to answer them for cazzie that’d be great :p
1. Who spends almost all their money on the other?
2. Which one drives the car and which one gives them directions?
3. Which one gives the other a piggyback ride when they’re tired?
4. Who is the most affectionate?
5. Who falls asleep in the others lap and who carries them to bed?
6. Who wakes up first?
7. Who apologizes first after an argument?
8. Who is the nerd?
9. Who makes the other one laugh the most?
10. Who sleep talks?
11. Who hogs the blankets at night?
12. Who is the neat freak?
13. Who likes to surprise the other with random gifts?
14. Who buys the healthy food in the house?
15. Who has better music taste?
16. Who takes care of the spiders?
17. Who uses more nicknames
18. Who’s the little spoon?
19. Who suggests scary movies for film night?
20. Who gets jealous more often?
21. Who brings up kids first?
22. Who borrows who’s clothes more?
23. Who cries more during sad movies?
24. Who falls asleep on the other more?
25. Who says I love you more?
26. Who initiates kisses more?
27. Who initiates hugs more?
28. Who takes more pictures of the other?
29. Who leaves notes for the other one around the house?
30. Who gets drunk faster?
31. Who gets hit on more by strangers?
32. Who makes food for the house more often?
Most likely to:
(I love that you found it on a glee page! Anyways of course I want to do them!!!)
This is long so get comfortable besties😌 I didn't proof read so all mistakes are on purpose.
Spend their money on the other: Casey would spend a larger portion of her money on Izzie or just like on things they can do together. (I think Izzie would just be engrain to make her money go as fat as it can so she's more restrained or critiac about how/where she spends her money)
Which one drives the car: this one is simple, its Casey. Do we even know if Izzie drives? (Like ideally being the one who takes care of her siblings it'd help, but anyways. Yes Casey is the driver, I can see Casey love being the one behind the wheel. Also how she was with Sam I could see her as a back seat driver or like "why didn't you take this route" just asking stuff even if she tries not to. So in the end it's just easier to have her drive lol)
Which one gives the other a piggy back ride: we saw Casey lift Izzie up so I'm obligated to say Casey! (Okay so picture after a track practice Izzie is really exhausted; the work load of school and babysitting her siblings really hitting her that week. Casey offers her a piggy back ride, Izzie is skeptical at first, but Casey is so reassuring about it)
Who is the most affectionate: ooh this one is hard overall I think I'd say Izzie, Casey more initiates kissing, but Izzie just likes to be touching Casey. (While watching tv Izzie will have her hand resting on Casey's leg, or like sit close enough to where their shoulders touch, the way Izzie stretches out herself on top of Casey when they're in her bed. Izzie initiates hand holding)
Who falls asleep in the others lap: Izzie established cannot stay up for the life of her plus again we got the cazzie bridal style carrying scene!! (I think even more cuddled up to Casey she definitely can't stay awake, she'd just feel so safe and at ease. Lights out comes quickly lol)
Who wakes up first: Izzie is up first, again this is me seeing her as the caretaker of her siblings and not going on Casey's painful track running schedule. (Ik in that one episode Casey is up first, but casey was trying to avoid Izzie, anyways Izzie probably has to get her siblings up for school or just make sure they're fed and what not so I can see her generally being conditioned to wake up first.)
Who apologize first after an argument: I feel like this totally depends on the argument; who/what started it and what it's about. Generally both are good at apologizing and don't stretch out the argument (sorry if that's like a cop out and not a definitive answer)
Who is the nerd: Izzie without a doubt (i feel like she enjoys learning new things. Maybe she doesn't necessarily love studying school material all the time, but also I feel like maybe studying started as an escape or distraction from always being her siblings care taker and soon she just learned to love it. Or just loved knowledge)
Who makes the other one laugh the most: I say Casey, they both definitely make each other laugh but Casey takes it to another level. (Like when paige is at the door and Casey is like "do you think that's them here to kick us out in person". Casey uses humor to help Izzie unwind when she's too in her head about stuff.)
Who sleep talks: Casey, why do I feel like one of them actually slept tall? Am I hallucinating...what is happening. (Anyways I feel like Casey like if she had a nightmare or something she'd mumble in her sleep and like startle awake. Or of she's really stressed and overwhelmed she's in a more restless type sleeping state)
Who hogs the blankets: (I did answer this) But Casey hogs the covers, I'll add that Izzie is fine just curling up in a ball above the blankets and fall asleep. (Why did I have the thought they're doing laundry the blankets aren't dried yet but when they finally dry Casey finds Izzie sound asleep on the blanket less bed)
Who is the neat freak: I wouldn't say either of them are nec a neat freak, but I feel Izzie would want things in particular locations and Casey can just roll with it.
Who likes to surprise the other with random gifts: Izzie, though she doesn't spend large portions of her money she likes finding small things,knickknacks or like stuffed animals or just like a sweet, that will make Casey happy. (Having younger siblings that she actively has to care for has taught her that it doesn't matter the size of the gift or if it's sparkly)
Who buys the healthy food: Casey clearly didn't approve of Elsa's green stuff sticking out of the back so definitely Izzie. (Izzie enjoys her fare share of snacks but she knows the day has to be balanced with more than "empty" calories. She is patient though in finding the healthy stuff that Casey actually likes.)
Who has better music taste: I'd say Casey in that she would have a more diverse music taste, she'd expose herself to more genres and like eras of music (Izzie feels like a whatever is on the radio or popular on the music charts-this is not slander just vibes I get lol)
Who takes care of the spider: definitely Izzie (I can see her being the person who catches and releases it while Casey is just telling her to "squish it, squish it!")
Who uses more nicknames: probably Izzie, I feel like she uses a more diverse collections of nicknames for Casey. Just like whatever fits the moment. (Casey would just use Izz, dude and a choice pet name)
Who's the little spoon: IZZIE!!! Miss curl up into a ball and fall asleep, she'd definitely pull Casey's arms to wrap around herself.
Who suggest scary movies for film night: I think Izzie is the one to coax them into actually watching a movie, but Casey is actually the one who enjoys them more or is just less put off by them? (Casey totally teases her, never goes too far, about it before the movie.)
Who gets jealous more often: I feel like this belongs to Izzie, like she has more self doubt and insecurities about how much she deserves Casey.
Who brings up kids first: Izzie does, maybe they're studying and making useless conversations, they're on the topic of her siblings. (Maybe you'd thing dealing with kids all her life and an unsupportive mom would put her off; but I think it doesn't. I feel like Casey just genuinely never stopped to really think about kids. Or maybe she thinks she wouldn't be good with kids. Like yes shes amazing with Sam, but to her that's not the same. Izzie reassures her she'd make a great parent, if she wanted to be.)
Who borrows who's clothes more: I could see Izzie borrowing a shirt or hoodie to lounge in, but I dont see it regularly. (Also Casey I noticed wears like oversized shirts often so I dont think the fit of Izzie's clothes would satisfy her.)
Who cries more during sad movies: Casey does. It is something she will deny with her entire being, but it's her.
Who falls asleep on the other more: I'll choose a specific situation for this, not a general thing: when they're talking on the phone late at night I actually think Casey would be the one who ends up falling asleep. (Ik this probably meant literally but this is where my brain went)
Who says I love you more: I feel like Casey. (I feel like for Casey the environment she was raised in it just is easier for her to say it, or it comes more naturally. Izzie uses actions to show her love because sometimes the words I love you coming from her own mouth feel foreign).
Who initiates kisses more: Casey, I think she both initiates kisses and "steals" kisses more.
Who initiates hugs more: if I say Casey with no explanation you have to accept it!
Who takes more pictures of the other: Izzie takes more pictures of Casey (I can see Casey as the person who just loves to pull stupid(affectionate) poses that make Izzie laugh. Also idk I feel like Izzie would be less inclined to have her picture taken and Casey would respect that. They would definitely take pictures together inspite of that though because Izzie wants to capture every moment with her girl.)
Who leaves notes for the other around the house: this plays into the nicknames thing, I think Izzie would leave the most cute/ridiculous notes with like the most cute/ridiculous nicknames for Casey. (Ik Casey made the tarot deck but I can just visualize Izzie doing this lol, sue me.)
Who gets drunk faster: Casey. I see Izzie as the one who has more parties in her past, and ofc she drank so she has more tolerance. Especially being at clayton longer with the track gang and Nate 🤢 (Izzie having to take a drunk Casey home early because she can barely stand on her feet securely, this is when Izzie gets to drive 😌)
Who gets hit on more by strangers: I think Izzie, she gets hit on more by disrespectful men and Casey shuts that down right quick.
Who makes food for the house more often: Izzie, I think she totally loves cooking. She loves trying out new recipes and has a bunch of cookbooks.
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