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waiting-for-ciena-ree · 4 years

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"Parasite" Force Bond Theory

How does the Exile survive Kreia's death at the end of KotOR 2? Throughout the game, the story reinforces the idea that Kreia and the Exile's force bond is so strong that if one of them dies, then so will the other. Astonishingly, after being able to ask each Jedi Master about this problem, the player doesn't even have the option to bring it up to Kreia at the end, when it finally matters. How do we make sense of Kreia's death and the Exile's survival?

I have a personal theory, which comes from trying to understand another of Kreia's deaths: how did Kreia survive being a corpse in a morgue at the beginning of KotOR 2?

This overlooked "death" provides the key to my theory, which is that Kreia functionally died at the beginning of the game when Darth Sion attacked the Ebon Hawk, but she "survived" by attaching her soul to the Exile's. Essentially, Kreia became a parasite, and the Exile became her host. To me, this explains why Kreia and the Exile's force bond is uniquely strong; they are sharing one soul. It also explains why the Exile survives in the end; instead of killing Kreia with a final blow, the Exile simply commands her to "rest now" or "die now," and then Kreia dies of her own volition. Ultimately, all that needed to happen was for Kreia to let go. As a parasite clutching to the Exile's soul, Kreia could not possibly live without that bond, but she could choose to free her host. As the host, the Exile could not forcibly remove the bond, but they could survive losing it.

I'm fond of this theory because I think it's a natural reading of what the game shows us, and because it fits perfectly with how I view Kreia's character and the story's themes. By all rights, Kreia ought to be dead from the start. Both T3-M4 and the Exile identify her as a dead body. But through sheer stubborn will, Kreia clings to life for the sake of teaching the Exile. Furthermore, introducing Kreia as somebody "left for dead" parallels the reading that Kreia was Arren Kae, one of many victims that Revan and the Exile left for dead on Malachor V. Based on that reading, there was already a natural connection between the Exile as a perpetrator and Kreia as a victim. This makes their literal bond symbolically meaningful. Considering that the Exile cut themselves off from the Force to block out the pain of Malachor's victims, it is fitting that one of those victims would return to reawaken the Force in the Exile, in order to make the Exile finally come to grips with the suffering they caused. Another way I'd describe their bond is to liken Kreia to a ghost of Malachor V who is haunting the Exile, and the Exile can't be free of this ghost until they make peace with her. I'm proud of this theory because it ties the game together really well for me.

Why I don't believe Kreia is lying about the Force Bond

Before I go any further, I'd like to address the theory that Kreia was simply lying about the strength of the Force Bond in order to make the Exile do what she wants. This theory is tempting because of its simplicity. Kreia lies about many things to achieve her goals, so wouldn't it make sense for her to lie to you in the beginning that when one of you dies, so will the other? I can't deny that Kreia is a liar, so much so that it is difficult to believe or understand anything she says, even when her words feel true.

However, I don't believe that Kreia is lying about the strength of the bond because both the story and gameplay show that the bond is uniquely and dangerously strong. Near the beginning of the story, the Exile feels the loss of Kreia's hand on Peragus II, and near the end of the story, a dark-sided Exile feels Kreia stab herself on Dantooine. Meanwhile, a light-sided Exile will listen to Kreia describe the Exile's own feelings on Malachor V in loving detail to the Jedi Council, at the story's emotional climax. Both Enclave scenes showcase how powerful the bond is. As you travel, the game mechanics also reinforce the bond's strength in a positive way; Kreia's unique "force chain" ability makes her one of the most useful companions.

There's also the matter that the game's narrative actually makes effort to disprove one of Kreia’s statements: specifically, the Dantooine Enclave scenes prove that the Jedi Council did NOT cut off the Force from the Exile in the past, even though Kreia said at the beginning that they did. Instead, Kreia's statement about the Jedi Council at the beginning becomes a half-truth, or even a kind of prophecy for the Enclave scene, since we learn that the Jedi Council would still cut off the Force from the Exile once they get the chance.

Notably, while the Enclave scene disproves Kreia's earlier statement about the Jedi Council, it reinforces her statement about the strength of their bond, especially if the Exile is dark-sided and Kreia stabs herself. Anyway, my reading is that since the narrative doesn't disprove Kreia's words about the Force Bond, and instead offers clues for its strength, this complicates the simple answer that Kreia was lying about the bond. That's why I take the danger of the Force Bond seriously, and I prefer the simple answer that she's telling the truth.

How the game describes Kreia and death

The game's language about Kreia and death is fascinating to me. I love that both T3-M4 and the Exile identify her as a dead body when they first meet her, and that the Exile even meets her in a morgue. I love that Kreia's first words to the player are, "Find what you are looking for amongst the dead?" When the Exile tells Kreia that they thought she was dead, Kreia answers, "Close to death, yes, closer than I'd like." Just how close to death did she come?

Kreia's introduction of herself is also noteworthy: "I am Kreia, and I am your rescuer -- as you are mine." We already know that Kreia rescued the Exile from the Harbinger, but how did the Exile rescue Kreia? It could be that Kreia is simply referring to how the Exile has found Kreia in the morgue and can help her escape. (It's also a reference to how Luke announces his intention to rescue Leia, Kreia's namesake.) However, it makes more sense to me if Kreia is saying that the formation of the bond literally saved Kreia's life, and that she would be dead without it.

Kreia's annoyance at the Exile looting bodies is mentioned again at Korriban, when she warns the Exile not to disturb the dead lest the Exile provokes the invisible Hssiss guardians into fights. Naturally, respecting the dead is a sensitive subject for Kreia!

Another detail I love about Kreia is her ability to cloak herself from others, to make herself so small in the Force that people like Sion, Mical, Atris, and Jedi Council members can't see her. This ability feels ghost-like to me; we expect ghosts to be able to turn invisible.

Finally, I'd like to talk about two parallel lines from Kreia about her own alleged death.

When Master Kavar sees Kreia in the Enclave, he exclaims in a shocked voice that he thought she died in the Mandalorian Wars. Kreia replies, "Died? No. Grow stronger, yes!"

During the final boss fight on Malachor V, the Exile can ask, "Are you ready to die, old woman?" And Kreia will answer, "I died long ago -- and now the circle is complete. Strike me down, and at last, end this."

These lines from Kreia are two of my favorites in the game because of how they contradict each other. In each case, Kreia takes the opposite position in order to prove her opponent wrong. To say to them, "You thought." To Kavar, who claims that she's supposed to be dead, Kreia insists that she never died; she only grew stronger! To the Exile, who threatens to kill her, Kreia instead counters that she died a long time ago, and so the Exile can't harm her any worse. Kreia's words to the Exile make me emotional because she's in a much more vulnerable position here than when she was speaking to Kavar--here, she is about to die--and yet she still speaks proudly.

They're also brilliant lines for the way they connect Kreia's story to Obi-Wan and Anakin. Like Obi-Wan, Kreia proclaims to grow stronger after death. Like both men acted as though Anakin was dead, Kreia acts as though Arren Kae is dead. Kreia also borrow's Vader's words that "the circle is complete" to describe her relationship with her student.

When Kreia says, "the circle is complete," it's meaningful that both Arren Kae and Traya were also killed in this same spot by their students. Arren Kae was "betrayed and murdered" by Revan, and Traya was "betrayed and murdered" by Nihilus and Sion. Now as Kreia, she turns the tables by betraying the Exile, but instead of killing the Exile, she forces the Exile to kill her on Malachor a final time, on Kreia's own terms. This completes the "circle" of Kreia's deaths.

But I think we can also apply "the circle is complete" to the structure of the game itself. Kreia begins the game as a corpse in a morgue, who then comes to life through her bond with the Exile. At the end of the game, Kreia returns to death, and her bond with the Exile also ends, leaving behind a wound in the Exile's soul.

Final thoughts inspired by Parasite (2019 film)

As I wrap up, I wanted to share how I thought up the name, "Parasite Theory." I had previously called my ideas the "Kreia Is Dead Theory," but I wanted to come up with a better metaphor. Then I started thinking about Parasite directed by Bong Joon-ho.

In this section, I won't talk about any important plot spoilers from Parasite, but I will reference the movie's premise and themes. If you've heard anything about Parasite, you've probably already heard about the movie's themes and the central premise, so I don't think reading this would hurt your experience watching the film. But I'll give a vague spoiler warning for Parasite anyway, in case you want to be extra careful.

Parasite asks, What does it mean to be a parasite? Specifically, it deals with how poor people and rich people develop parasitic behavior in a capitalistic society. At first, it looks as though the movie's central poor family is parasitically conning a rich family in order to survive. But later, when the movie takes a broader look at society, it's clear that a few rich families are parasites that hoard resources away from the many poor families, while also relying on their labor to fund their extravagant lifestyles.

Obviously KotOR 2 doesn't take a deep dive into capitalism, but it does explore the aftermath of war in a thoughtful way which is rare for Star Wars. Even though the central sci-fi conceit of A New Hope is the invention of a planet-killing weapon, the movie doesn't dwell on Leia's reaction to Alderaan's destruction any longer than necessary. The spectacle of war and space explosions usually take priority in Star Wars movies, since they're blockbusters. In contrast, KotOR 2 doesn't even show the initial destruction of Malachor V, and the story is all about the suffering left in its wake. It also makes the stunning decision to have the protagonist be the person who ordered the planet's destruction. In this way, while Parasite explores the parasitic relationships between the rich and the poor, I think KotOR 2 explores parasitic relationships between the perpetrators and victims in a war.

And this gets at why I feel so much sympathy for Kreia, even though she is a manipulator who does horrible things. And it is easy to characterize her as a parasite who is feeding off of the Exile's soul in order to survive. Because when you get down to it, Arren Kae was a victim of planetary destruction caused by the Exile. In their own way, the Exile was also a parasite who relied on the destruction of countless lives in order to end the Mandalorian War. Like the rich family in Parasite, the Exile fed on people's suffering, even if that suffering was so harmful to the Exile that they cut themselves off from the Force.

When Kreia re-awakens the Force in the Exile, she also forces the Exile to confront their parasitic effect on the galaxy, even at the cost of becoming a parasite herself. And the surprising aspect of this is that Kreia still loves the Exile and finds hope in them in spite of the harm they've caused, even to herself. I'd say that the central question of KotOR 2 is something like, "What does it mean to love and honor the people we kill?" A light-side run of KotOR 2 finds hopeful answers to this question, as the Exile's actions help the galaxy heal and the Jedi Order rebuild. Essentially, to love people hurt in the galaxy means putting in the hard work to help them, rather than turning away from them in apathy.

When it comes to Kreia and the Exile's parasitic relationship, one of the messiest and most complex fictional relationships I've ever seen, the Exile can bring a kind of peace of mind to Kreia, but they cannot escape the burden of killing her. In Kreia's view, this is because she "died long ago" and all there is left to do is for the Exile to finish what they started. To kill Arren Kae again, once more, but this time looking her in the eyes. For Kreia, that is the only honor from you that she wants.

#Kreia #kotor #kotor 2 #jedi exile #knights of the old republic #mine #meta #arren kae #This got very long I'm sorry aaahhh

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writersrealmbts · 5 years

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Protect Them- Hybrid AU: Part 5

Description: Safe with Me Sequel! You work two days a week teaching kids the joys of learning and reading, your favorites being the triplets. When the triplet’s adopted older brother is the one that starts picking them up, you’re not sure what life just handed you but you’re pretty sure it’s just another little slice of heaven. Hoseok x Reader.

Warnings: I don’t even know, if you do, let me know and I’ll change the warnings.

Posted: 1/27/2019

Tags: Hybrid!au, hybrid!Hoseok, Safe With Me Sequel

Angst with fluffs: 3,386 words

A/N: Part 5 and this series is increasingly difficult to write.

He set you down on the bed. “It might be an infection, but you don’t smell like you have one. I have to check on the kids quickly. Then I want to take your temperature.” You nodded, too exhausted and emotionally drained to respond further. You were cold again, but if anything more than your feet were covered you started roasting again. Thankfully your nausea had passed for now, but he still had put a small trash can in the bed beside you just in case. “I’ll be right back,” he promised, then you heard his footsteps hastily retreating. You closed your eyes, listening as he darted down the hallway. He called all of their names then went racing past your room and downstairs, you could hear his voice rise in relief, then it was quiet again. You heard him coming back up the stairs after what felt like no time at all and forever. He walked in, muttering about them being trouble, and going to sit on the other half of the bed. “Nari’s figures out how to work the tv and DVD player. They’re watching I Love Lucy.” You smiled. “Good show. Safe for kids. Probably keep them occupied for a while.” “Yeah. They’re just getting so big so fast.” He sighed and the bed shifted slightly as he got comfortable. “I was right about to start a new book…you want me to read to you?” “I thought you wanted to take my temp?” “Oh, right, sorry.” he scrambled off to get the thermometer, coming back quickly. “Open.” You opened your mouth and let him stick the thermometer in. He pet your hair while you both waited, and took the thermometer when it beeped. “99. So you do have a bit of a fever. I know you can’t keep anything down right now, so giving you medicine isn’t an option. If it persists then we’ll take you to the doctor.” You sighed. “Hoseok-hyung? We’re hungry.” A little voice squeaked from the doorway. Hoseok sighed. “Kaemonnie, I just asked all of you if you were hungry.” “We weren’t…” “It’s been three minutes!” Hoseok objected, his voice quieter, probably from turning toward the pup. “We’re hungry now…”

Hoseok sighed in exasperation. “Clear off the couch for y/n. You okay with listening to the TV?” You smiled and nodded. “It’s entertaining enough.” Hoseok picked you up carefully. “I’d let you stay here, but I need to keep an eye on both you and the triplets and it’s much easier said than done. Especially with how…mobile they are.” You laughed softly. “They grow up fast and are always watching.” You let yourself be comfortable in his arms, not wanting to risk hurting yourself or making yourself sick. Again. Maybe if you were relaxed this time you wouldn’t get sick. Though that gentle kiss on your forehead certainly wasn’t doing your heart any favors. He carried you down the stairs, following behind Kaemon from the sound of things. “A little faster, Monnie.” “But I might fall,” Kae whimpered softly. “Kae, I don’t know how long Hoseok-oppa can carry me, could you let him pass you?” “Oh, okay!” He chirped. You felt Hobi move, and then you were both continuing down the stairs. “It’s not carrying you that I’m worried about,” Hoseok murmured. He placed a kiss on your head again. Part of you wanted to scream at him to stop kissing your head, the other part of you wanted to beg for more. The contradiction made you a little nauseous again. This man. “You’ve gone pale again.” His voice was laced with worry. You shuddered at the feeling that his words sent through you. He seemed to move faster, then set you onto the couch. Then he was feeling your forehead and throat. He growled in worry. “Maybe we should go to the doctor after all.” Twin growls were heard to your left. “Don’t you growl at me,” Hoseok scolded. Tiny footsteps rushed over. “What are we growling about?” “He’s trying to take her back to the doctor,” Minsu growled lightly, a pout obvious in his voice. Kaemon immediately started growling, but his had a whine laced through it. “Really?” Hoseok muttered. Nari’s growl got closer. “She can’t go back. We won’t let you take her.” Her little face burrowed into your uninjured leg. “It smelled and they took her away from us. They can’t have her. I won’t let them have her.” She sounded like she was crying. “I-uh-o-okay. Just, calm down,” Hoseok said, pulling her away from them. He sounded conflicted. “Nari, Kaemon, Minsu,” You said softly. “I might need to go to the doctor. They have medicines to help people who are hurt or sick. When they took me away it was to help me. I was very hurt, wasn’t I?” Someone sniffled. “Yes.” “And they helped me, didn’t they?” “Yes, noona,” The boys chorused. “Unnie…” Nari pouted, somehow getting back to your leg. “She’s still not completely well. She can get sick and if she does then she won’t get better,” Hoseok told them, adopting the same gentle tone. “I’m trying to take care of her, but we might need them to help her more. If she started getting sick, I have to take her to the doctor. Because I don’t want her getting worse. Do you?” “No, Hobi,” Three voices answered soberly. “Alright. You three be careful around her, I’ll make you lunch.” He sounded tired. Guilt started gnawing at your stomach again. “Hey, whoa, you okay?” He sounded worried, a hand gently stroking your hair. “Stop. Please stop,” You breathed. His hand left your hair faster than you could imagine. “Did I hurt you? Did Nari?” You squeezed your eyes shut. “No. Sorry. No.” You pressed into the couch. He doesn’t want you, you’re causing him trouble. He’s only taking care of you because of instincts. “Hey, I told you to talk to me if your mind started racing again,” He said softly, hand resting on your shoulder. “Maybe we need to talk to them about different medicine for you.” You couldn’t respond. Nari rubbed her face into your leg gently. “Hobi, kiss and make it better.” She sounded heartbroken. “Uh, oh, Nari. Um, that only works if parents and siblings do it.” “Where’s her mommy? Or her daddy?” Minsu asked, getting closer. “We could get them to come kiss it better.” “Her parent’s are too far away, Min-min and she doesn’t have siblings. We’ll just have to take especially good care of her.” Hoseok’s voice sounded cheerful, but there was a strain to it that you hoped the kids wouldn’t notice. “I’ll get you some crackers to try and eat, maybe some ginger-ale.” You nodded, resting against the couch, tuning into the I Love Lucy episode on the television instead of the pouting kids and the too-kind man. But you heard his heavy sigh, and the deep sniff he took. “It really doesn’t smell like an infection,” He murmured, sounding puzzled, then he went to the kitchen with a limp likely produced by one of the munchkins hanging off of his leg. You wished you could see how cute of a sight that must be. Nari was hugging your good leg, but she seemed to be calmer now. You weren’t sure which of the boys was immersed in the show and which was hanging off of Hoseok, but the one watching was starting to giggle now and then. You forced yourself to relax, knowing you weren’t helping yourself by getting upset. But it was so hard to stay calm around him. Especially with everything you knew about his thoughts and love life and— You groaned softly, shifting to a new position ever so slightly. Nari climbed up and lay on your good leg, hugging it. “Ah, Nari! Be careful,” Hoseok scolded from some distance, around the same area that the commotion that spoke of cooking came from. Running water, clinking utensils, the clicking of a gas stove, and the soft whump as the gas lit. You could hear him open and close the fridge, and the chime of dishes as they met the counter. A squeak of surprise followed by a thump on the floor, and a giggle from Nari. “You wouldn’t fall off if you sit still, Minsu-ah!” Nari’s voice was full of affection for her brother, parroting something her parents or older siblings might say to them. Minsu giggled suddenly and didn’t stop, starting to squeal with laughter. “A little quieter, babies,” Hoseok said gently, his voice closer and soft. Loving. You could imagine him talking to his own kids in a tone like that, maybe with that smile he wore the day you met him when he was greeting the triplets. Brighter than the sun, yet so gently and lovingly. Your heart broke a little when you imagined a little child with his furry ears and tail, curled up in his arms…and a different woman at his side. Because he’d made it clear that it would never be you. ———— Five days. Five agonizing days after throwing up in front of him, you woke up and could hazily make out where the windows were, and the open door to the hallway. You could see where things were lighter. You could see when three small blobs blocked some of the light from the doorway as well as hear their curious whispers. Emma came in and checked on you, carrying breakfast with her. “Hoseok is going to take you to the doctor so they can see how everything is healing up. That okay?” You nodded, biting your cheek. She was quiet for a moment. “He’s not bothering you, is he?” “Not in the way you mean,” You replied softly. She laughed softly. “He’s a sweetheart, isn’t he?” She sat down on the edge of the bed. “Has been since I got him.” You sighed. “He’s too good to me. He barely knows me.” “He heard about you before he met you. The kids adore you and you’ve helped me out so much. Not to mention you helped save my kids. You’re the good kind, hon. It’s surprisingly hard to come by. Trust me, it’s basically my job to look for those kinds of people.” Emma sighed, but there was a bit of a laugh in there. “Which has been put on the sidelines while I take up my old job of organizing my brother’s company so as they tackle about half of the damage to the city. It’s like all the other construction companies turned tail and fled.” “I thought you worked at the Sanctuary?” “I do, I manage the funds at the Sanctuary and organize the staff. I’m technically the owner. Most of the time I just go in to deal with some financial issues. Now I’m directing construction crews to their projects.” She sounded worried. “The town is a mess.” “I’ll see it soon. I can see where it’s lighter today.” “Really? That’s great. That’s so good.” She took your hands and squeezed them gently. “I’m so happy for you.” You nodded. “It’s about time. I was starting to think it would never happen.” She stroked your hair gently. “Let’s get you cleaned up.” You smiled. “Yes, please.” The two of you maneuvered into the bathroom, your leg secured so that you couldn’t damage it. It was safe for you to do so now. You felt so much better after getting cleaned up and dressed. Jin carried you downstairs after. “Morning, y/n-noona!” Minsu chirped happily. “Good morning, Minsu. Kaemon, Nari.” They chirped around their breakfasts. “Good morning,” Hoseok said, his voice bright and kind and ugh. Ugh. You smiled. “Good morning.” Oh god, were you blushing? You better not be blushing. “Alright, my pups! Time to go. Your eomma has to work, and we’re going to go visit your cousin Timothy and aunt Becca and Namjoon-ssi.” Jin announced, his voice moving around the room after setting you down and collecting his pups from the sound of their giggles. “Hoseok, there’s some chicken in the fridge for dinner. We’re going to eat with Micheal and Becca.” Emma was also moving around. “Eomma, take it easy today,” Hosoek said, concern clear in his voice. “You’re pregnant, you shouldn’t be working too hard.” “I can hardly work at all between you, Jin, and Mike. I’m not doing anything strenuous and I have five or six assistants. You worry about y/n. Let Jin and Mike worry about me today. Remember, her appointment is at ten-thirty.” “I remember,” He answered, sounding a little amused. He was coming toward you. He set something in front of you. “Eggs and bacon.” You smiled. “Thank you.” You felt around the table and found the fork, then found the edge of the plate. From there you managed to sort of feed yourself. You found the strips of bacon easily, but getting the eggs from the plate to your mouth was troublesome. You tried a spoon, but it was still hard. “May I?” Hoseok asked softly, coming over and sitting in the chair next to yours. You nodded. “Otherwise I’ll be here all day.” You hated it, but what else could you do. “This would be a lot harder if you were a hybrid,” He said casually. “A hybrid with injuries like these wouldn’t let me anywhere near them unless they were a kids, or a female fox.” You closed your eyes, feeling a headache coming on from your limited vision. “I can see a bit today.” “Really?!” You could tell he was grinning. “Only where the light is. So, it’s a little harder here because the light seems to be everywhere.” He put an arm around you, pulling you into a sort of half-hug. He rubbed his head against yours gently, one of his fluffy ears brushing across your cheek. “Still, that’s fantastic. And your wounds are healing so well.” “We should get going,” You said. If ever you were to blush, it would be now. He made a sort of squeak sound. “Right, uh, let me go get dressed. You okay here for now?” You nodded. “Anything left on my plate?” “Another strip of bacon.” “I’ll eat that while you go change.” You felt around for your bacon, and then picked it up. He darted away, footsteps taking him upstairs, but they were just as quick to come back and then he was scooping you up. “Let’s go, y/n-ssi!” He spoke with a silly voice that made you smile. The hospital was a mess of noises and smells, and the nurse that was checking your wounds was an absolute jerk. He acted like your ability to see where light was brighter was insignificant, and when Hoseok told him about your nausea and problems with anxiety he just said they’d check for infection. Both of you waited for two hours in a room, only for the nurse to breeze back in and unhook the I.V. they put you on when one of the other nurses said you looked a little dehydrated. “There’s no infection. We’ll see about changing the medication we have her on. Extreme stress could be exacerbating her condition and bringing on the nausea and racing thoughts..” The nurse was talking to Hoseok as if you weren’t even there. “If she continues to have problems like this, it would be best to remove the stress from around her. Or her from the stress. Whichever is easier.” “Thanks,” Hoseok murmured. “Oh, we were wondering if there was some sort of brace we could use as well as her bandages to protect her leg?” “I don’t think any are made in a way that would be safe for her injuries, but I’ll send someone to look through the different models.” The nurse retreated quickly. “Slacking jerk,” Hoseok muttered, then took the two steps over to your side and stroked a hand over your hair. “Feeling better?” You nodded slightly. He was quiet, hand resting on the top of your head, still. “Are you being honest or are you just saying that so we can leave?” “I think it’s a little bit of both right now,” You murmured, closing your eyes. “It smells.” “It does,” He agreed, laughing a little. “And it’s noisy.” “Really noisy,” You agreed, smiling a little. They had given you something along with the I.V. and you felt a little groggy. But you also felt overly sensitive to sound and smell. He chuckled softly. “Hey…are the kids stressing you too much?” “No, they’re fine. They’re so sweet,” You said, but the thought of everything you still had to deal with came to mind. The hospital bills, the expense for a new apartment, where you would work once you recovered, how you would get Hoseok out of your head. “Then what is stressing you? Because I can tell you’re stressed as well as in pain.” His fingers slid through your hair. You shook your head. “Besides everything I’ll have to do once I heal…things I have to do before I heal.” He made a thoughtful sound. “Right, should you talk to your insurance? Or maybe the bank?” “Insurance yes, and my accountant. I haven’t talked to him since just after the incident and it was just to let him know I was alive.” You sighed and shifted so you could lean against him. He shifted and pulled your head to his shoulder. He smelled faintly of peppermint, probably from the tea he had been drinking before claiming it was a sad excuse for tea and setting it aside. He nuzzled your hair. “Do you need to call or go in person?” “Call.” “Numbers in your phone?” “Should be.” “I’ll find them for you when we get back. Taehyung said I should call when I get the chance. I think he’s feeling lonely. He spends most of the day watching Yoongi’s daughter. Yoongi…he’s sort of my cousin but more like my brother. He was adopted by Emma’s brother back before the laws were repealed.” His voice spoke volumes. He obviously regarded Yoongi as a very close brother, not as lightly as he claimed. You pondered it for a couple moments. “He saved you from a bad owner?” He flinched. “That nurse should be back by now.” “Sorry, I shouldn’t have pried.” “It’s not that. It’s just…Yoongi remembers what happened more than I do. I just remember pain. And fear. And I can find and see the scars. Like this one,” He said, guiding your fingers up and through his hair. You could barely feel it, but you could tell it had been surgical. It was too straight and long to be anything else. “Did they…?” “The doctors did that. I’d had repeated concussions, and they had to do surgery when Yoongi brought me to the hospital. I don’t have any real memories from before, just impressions, feelings, and slurred voices that I couldn’t recognize again if I tried. It’s not all bad, it helped me move on faster but it also hindered me from recovering mentally as quickly as someone who could remember why they were terrified.” He slid his hand along yours until his fingers were tangled with yours and he pulled it from his head. “Either way, the past is in the past. I got something much better from all that trouble. I have a family, and freedom. Who knows, maybe it was meant to be this way.” You nodded. “Sometimes the families we create ourselves are better than the ones we’re born into.” He pressed a kiss to your hand. Was he trying to drive you mad? “That’s very true.” “You’re very…physical.” “Uh…” “I mean, with affection. You’re always…” “Oh.” He chuckled, but sounded a little embarrassed. “I am. Sorry. When I care about someone, I just…I tend to let it show.” Right, and he was emotionally invested in your well-being since he witnessed you getting hurt. He couldn’t help it. It was instinctual. Once you were better, he’d be released from the drive to take care of you and everything would be nearly as it was before. You would be find a way to get over him.

Masterlist. Part 4. Part 6. Masterpost.

Tagged: @jiminslye

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izzyizumi · 6 years

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Taishiro Fic Notes: REPEAT? [10]

pt./Ch. 4, pt. 2 (also Ch. 10) (under the cut!) [previous parts’ notes] [original fic outline]

Pt./Ch. 4, pt. 2 + Ch. 10, (Shards) So in case if it wasn’t obvious, these two parts basically parallel each other, but they’re happening in different timelines. Ch. 4′s happens in [one of?] the “original” timelines (our main verse / canonverse or at least a canon-compliant verse) while Ch. 10 happens in Archaeology AU [this fic]. Basically, it’s Greymon vs Parrotmon battle in Hikarigaoka (reimagined) yeah. [specific dialogue notes] - ‘ Explosions. Everywhere, the sound of explosions ‘ happening at-scene too obviously but also [looks at Mugendramon arc] (I think Taishiro fans forget sometimes the battle from the first movie may have sounded like this, too ?? but they forget? but like hidden memories etc ....) - ‘ Kids his age - one, looks a bit taller, older ’ hi Jou ;A;/ (I thought this bit was obvious I hope) - ‘ others, younger? -- ’ hi the rest too (again) (also includes Mimi and Takeru, who aren’t referenced in the main fic often either, Takeru especially) - spotlights ok so there were some slight ... differences? between the movie version and the flashback version in the Hikarigaoka ep I thought (and also when recalled later) (during the Homeostasis scenes in canon Adventure) so this was to indicate the Chosen noticing something’s up yeah (of course they forget it all after in canon, too) basically, it’s them becoming ‘Chosen’ (which is also very important for this AU verse Koushiro who ... yeah) - ‘ He's staring not at the monster - or maybe he had been, but now he -- He was staring right at Taichi. ‘ hi tiny Koushiro’s awareness ..... - ‘ ("What do I do?!") ‘ hi ... timeloops effect ... (ok but what can they do? Koushiro feels helpless, too) - ‘ His baby sister. He has to protect her, he has to -- ‘ of course he’s naturally protecting Hikari too [in canon, too] but this is maybe meant to parallel his later protectiveness over Koushiro too (... even the canon kind of does it ??) (’Why won’t you let me fight [too]?!’) - ‘ A charred phone booth -- on the street, an overturned bus -- cars? -- ‘ hi the bus from Koushiro’s flashback (Hikarigaoka ep) (..... um) (cars) - ‘ The other boy looks about ready to cry, too. ‘ (i’m sorry Koushiro) [jump over to Ch. 10] - ‘ [electricity] ‘ hi ... Koushiro’s ... element (... that was natural though) (he’s spelling it out too) (also, Parrotmon = electric) (car ... = electric) (... also fire) - so in this verse Koushiro is also basically frantically trying to escape the wreck naturally too (timeloops effect isn’t helping though) - ‘ his mind still seems to be rational ’ again, natural + timeloops - ‘ I was enjoying myself up until now ’ Koushiro ... hopefully had a happy enough life [if an average child’s life] before the car accident happened (in canon, too?) (i’d like to hope anyway ;;) - ‘ ('There's still so much I don't understand...') ’ this is a common theme with Koushiro ... I’d imagine a tiny Koushiro would feel similar in this kind of situation too ... - ‘ a tiny family ’ sometimes others give the Izumis more living relatives [grandparents, etc.] but considering they were already ‘distant relatives’ and no one else is ever mentioned I’m ... not sure it’d be more than just them [Koushiro, Yoshie/Kae + Masami?] otherwise, wouldn’t Koushiro’s hypothetical distant family members have had more impact upon his life at all re: the adoption thing ... ?? (hmm) (yeah I think it’s just them I’m sorry) (considering a lot of the issues related to his adoption + what he likely angsted about....) - ‘ [contact] with their distant relatives - ’ (hi Izumi family ;A;/) - ‘ -- and he didn't have a ton of possessions, he wasn't spoiled, after all -- ’ relates back to the beginning - Koushiro’s overall lack of possessions before Koushiro gets hyper involved with tech and his office in Tri I imagine as a kid he really didn’t need / want / ask for much this is kind of implied in a Vamdemon arc episode, when Mrs. Izumi talks on the phone iirc / basically Koushiro is a polite, good kid who doesn’t ask for much [but also his adoption angst] before his adoption though I don’t think he’d be spoiled otherwise too though like ... he’s never implied to have an attachment to like. anything. (that isn’t the computer) - ‘ ('LIVE--!!') ’ an important theme overall, yes (... I did not actually intend the Daiken/Kensuke parallel but. it happens) (why are Daisuke+Ken so great too ;;) - ‘ His legs hurt so much he feels like he's on fire, but he isn't (yet?) -- ('You know this is wrong!') ('You weren't here before--!!') ’ this comes back up in ch. 11 and various other points, too, concerning his legs so I figured if he was ever involved in the accident and it was that terrible he’d have some injuries/scars, yeah but I didn’t want it to be his eyes/face and he needs his hands for tech the back is a kind of obvious spot too but it didn’t feel right? ... so. that kind of left his legs ;; (but it kind of related to Mugendramon arc too so...) (there’s a scene in Mugendramon arc where they burst through the glass / debris and. yeah) ‘You know this is wrong!’ / ‘You weren’t here before--!!’ and that’s his subconscious picking up on timeloops yet again yup - ‘ (Or was he?) (Maybe he had forgotten.) ’ seriously where the heck WAS Koushiro on that night -- (... if the Izumis were a tiny family and no other relatives no one related to him would have been at his home right ..... while he was a ‘baby’ [maybe in the original they just meant young? they don’t even use the word ‘baby’ there] .....) (’distant relatives’ implies they didn’t see each other often maybe ....) (idek anymore who knows) (but yeah either they leave him with a babysitter / caretaker [??] or .....) - ‘ Looks up at the starry sky above him. ‘ so, that scene with Adventure Koushiro & Tentomon pointing at the starry sky in Tri? ;; ‘I Wish’? ;; - ‘ ("Please!! Please beat him--!!") The dinosaur's eye somehow moves -- -- looks straight at him. ’

Greymon ;; (if Greymon towers over everything enough that he can see Koushiro here) (even when fallen?) - ‘ Koushiro, on his back, the spotlight on him, catches his eye with a gasp of surprise. Just before the monsters' eye had moved -- -- a whistle had been sounded. ’ Greymon is seriously huge here, so even when fallen he towers Koushiro sees him just before (‘powerful?’) but then Greymon did fall briefly ... young Taichi’s blowing the whistle, yeah - ‘ The monsters' eye opens. ’ (Ch. 4 end) - ‘ ...[Koushiro] closes his eyes. ’ (Ch. 10 part/end) the parallel / crossover (also waking up / falling asleep) ... I haven’t fully decided, but depending probably timeloops effect crossed over these timelines and this happens (yeah) (so... little Taichi + Greymon indirectly [directly??] saves AU Koushiro / everyone ??) (at the least, if Taichi isn’t aware here yet in this point, Greymon definitely is) (..... depending [on AU circumstances], but let’s just say) (he can tell something’s up at the very least) (and maybe feels a need to protect AU Koushiro[s], too) (it also depends on if it’s the same Agumon [Tri implies it is, now....] but probably if it wasn’t Greymon here would still be involved on the side too he’s awesome like that?? [even if in a heartbreaking way]) [to be continued] (also the ending scenes of each to be elaborated on later too)

#izzyizumi posts #izzyizumi text posts #izzyizumi writing #izzyizumi fic notes #fic: repeat #taishiro

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kaelinaloveslomaris · 7 years

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Honestly you seem like a very sweet person so I hope you can help me cope with my EDF (extremely depressive fictophilia) of Anakin/Vader. Everytime I think of him, I feel so bad that he doesn't care for himself, hasn't felt love in so long, has been treated so horribly by everyone... It doesn't help that I'm hopelessly in love with this guy. Ever since Conversations came out, I've been depressed because of Anakin feels alone. Help me Kae, you're my only hope.

I’m so very sorry about how long this took. It was the end of the semester, crazy with finals and getting things sorted for graduation.

This is set in my “Vader lives” AU that I started with the three sentence fics. Basically, ROTJ plays out like canon, except Luke gets his father to the Alliance in time to save his life.

Palpatine had been dead for two years. Two years today, in fact, Luke remembered shortly after he had woken up and saw the date on his bedroom’s chrono. Two years since the confrontation on the second Death Star, since the Emperor’s lightning had licked across his body and left pale scars that were visible even now, since he had dragged his redeemed father to the Alliance and demanded that they save his life. Two years since the declaration of the New Republic and his father’s second rebirth, this time as informant and military advisor to Chancellor Mothma. That had taken some convincing, and there were still many people unhappy about it, but Mothma had remembered Anakin, and it had allowed for a peace agreement to be struck with the Imperial remnant. He was too valuable to destroy, especially when Luke had thrown his fate in with his father’s. Anakin hadn’t exactly been pleased about that, but Luke knew that gamble had gone a long way towards saving his father’s life. No one was willing to kill or imprison or exile the Hero of Yavin and the last Jedi just to get rid of Vader.

Luke slipped out of his room and walked across the small apartment he shared with his father, heading for the kitchen. They could have easily afforded something larger, even considering that Anakin had donated a significant portion of his fortune to helping the New Republic get set up, as yet another sign of his goodwill. But neither Anakin nor Luke was used to extravagance, and their apartment was cozy and nice, and it meant they were constantly within seconds of each other. Just in case.

Anakin was already in the kitchen, making breakfast, standing with his back to Luke as he attended whatever was on the stove. He was always awake earlier than Luke, no matter when Luke got up, and he supposed Anakin still hadn’t gotten used to sleeping a normal amount of hours in a night. And they both still had nightmares, though the intensity and frequency seemed to be decreasing, if gradually.

“Good morning, Father,” Luke said, as he walked in. There was a mug of hot chocolate sitting in front of his place at the table, wisps of steam rising from it, and Luke grinned. He walked past it though, and ducked under his father’s arm, giving him a quick hug.

Anakin pulled him closer. “Good morning, Luke.” His voice was still quiet and raspy, the medics hadn’t been able to do anything about the damaged vocal cords, but between getting him proper medical care and Luke’s limited knowledge of Force healing, they’d been able to fix his lungs so he no longer needed to depend on life support. Luke knew that was a huge relief for his father, who was finally free of the mask and suit that Palpatine had put him in 23 years before. And Luke was glad to be able to actually see his father’s face. The scarring hadn’t healed much; there wasn’t a lot the medics had been able to do, but Luke didn’t care. The brief moment of horror he had felt when he first saw Anakin’s face had been at the thought of the pain the injuries must have caused, not at the sight of him. His acceptance of his father’s appearance helped Anakin be less self-conscious about it.

“One of these days, you will have to let me do the cooking, Father,” Luke said, knowing full well that even if his father agreed now, he would never actually let him.

“Maybe tomorrow,” his father said. Luke nudged him with his elbow and slipped out from under his arm. He walked back to the table and picked up his mug. It was still pleasantly warm, and he took a tentative sip. It didn’t scald his tongue, but it wasn’t too cold either. Perfect.

His father turned the stove off and carried their breakfast plates over to the table. They ate in comfortable silence, and once they had finished, Luke’s hand drifted down to his pocket.

“I, um, have something for you,” he said, not quite looking at his father. He pulled the two tickets out of his pocket and held them below the table. “I thought, it’s been two years, and we could use a break from the whole rebuilding-the-Galaxy thing and celebrate. I don’t know your birthday, but today’s as good a day as any, right?” Now he looked up to see his father staring at him curiously. Luke took a breath and held the tickets up, speaking quickly. “They’re running an annual race to commemorate the birth of the New Republic and fall of the Empire, and I thought you might enjoy going… with… me… What?”

Anakin was biting his lip, trying not to laugh, but his blue eyes were sparkling with embarrassed amusement. He raised his own gloved hand, holding two identical tickets. Luke groaned and dropped his head to the table just as his father lost control and started laughing.

Okay, so I can’t write pure fluff. A bit of angst always worms its way in, but I tried to make it cute and happy for you.

#asks #vader lives au #my fanfiction #my writing #luke skywalker #this precious child #anakin skywalker #one step closer to destiny #darth vader #the ashes call my name #you're my dark star

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recentanimenews · 7 years

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Bookshelf Briefs 6/26/17

Assassination Classroom, Vol. 16 | By Yusei Matsui | Viz Media – Most of this volume is taken up by the flashback showing us how Koro-sensei became what he is today. As you’d expect, it’s pretty tragic, but there’s also a bit of cognitive dissonance, as it’s hard to see the Koro-sensei we know today in that apathetic killer who appears at the start. But it’s the power of love that helps turn him, if not away from the dark side, at least into someone who cares about the right way to teach. Also, in case you didn’t hate Yanigasawa enough already, his portrayal as an arrogant abuser will help speed things along. Back in the present, our class is now divided—can they really kill Koro-sensei, or should they try to save him? Each volume of this series gets more and more gripping. -Sean Gaffney

Complex Age, Vol. 5 | By Yui Sakuma | Kodansha Comics – Phew. After a gut-wrenching fourth volume, I was seriously wary about reading this volume. Thankfully, however, it is far more encouraging than the last. True, Kimiko is still planning to give up on cosplay, and though she tries to sell it as wanting to devote herself to photography, it’s clear that what Rui (boo! hiss!) said to her had a role to play in her decision. But Nagisa meets her fiancé and can’t help but be happy for her best friend. Meanwhile, Hayama continues to cosplay and is having fun in her new job as an event coordinator. The bottom line is—the future needn’t be bleak, and Nagisa is left to wonder where her own limits are. With people at work and home seemingly inclined to respect her choices, could we possibly have a happy ending next time? I hope so! – Michelle Smith

Everyone’s Getting Married, Vol. 5 | By Izumi Miyazono | Viz Media – I’d mentioned Kamiya’s ‘aggressive courting’ in the last volume, and here it walks way over the line into blackmail and emotional abuse. Kamiya has become a creep, and Asuka is rightly trying to do her best to pull away from him without it damaging either her career or Ryu’s. Ryu, meanwhile, is having his own battles with Kamiya, as each says that they don’t care about what Asuka is really thinking about. Frankly, I think Ryu’s doing a better job of it, and he’s also able to break things off with Sakura in a more permanent way. Still, Kamiya isn’t going away, and the volume’s end shows him trying to be the Sun rather than the North Wind. Frustrating at times, especially when Kamiya’s being a creep, but still good. – Sean Gaffney

Food Wars!: Shokugeki no Soma, Vol. 18 | By Yuto Tsukuda and Shun Saeki | Viz Media – Yes, Soma wins his battle, showing that the power of fantastic food is better than the power of bribery. This also means that the administration’s goons temporarily back off attacking Polaris Dorm, and we get a highly amusing celebration scene (with more horror from newbies at Isshiki stripping). The big impact comes in the middle of the book, as we learn that Erina’s father is attacking Polaris in particular due to a past with Soma’s father. In fact, he was unaware that Saiba was Soma’s father (the danger of taking the wife’s last name, a far more Japanese thing)… and moreover, Erina was unaware of it as well. In any case, more bad things are happening as the book wraps up, and I expect things will get worse soon. – Sean Gaffney

Kiss Him, Not Me!, Vol. 11 | By Junko | Kodansha Comics – Well, new rival turned out to be absolutely terrible, didn’t he? This volume consists of a lot of running around trying to stop Kae from getting forcibly married. Kae spends the entire main storyline in her “overweight” form, which surprised me, but it doesn’t stop her making an awkward but impressive escape attempt. Unfortunately, after that she mostly acts as a passive prize, only snapping and letting Mitsuboshi have it right at the end. And even that seems to be a case where she can only “win” by literally pounding him into unconsciousness with her bulk. There’s also a side story which is terminally ridiculous—which is good, as this manga needs to be over the top silly in order not to drown in problematic shoujo and fat stereotypes. Variable as always. – Sean Gaffney

Kuroko’s Basketball, Vol. 11-12 | By Tadatoshi Fujimaki | Viz Media – It’s rare you see a tie in a sports manga, but given this is only the qualifiers, a tie is what we end up with. Of course, this just means that Kuroko and company have to win their next match, and it ends up being against a bunch of goons who fight dirty. The leader of this team is fantastic in an awful way, showing off a couple of tragic backstories before taking them back with a smirk. Teppei and Junpei also get a lot of focus here, with a flashback that shows how they both joined the team and how Teppei got injured (and also how obvious an OT3 with them and Riko is). But they pass, and the Winter Cup is up next, with all of Kuroko’s old teammates. An extremely compelling basketball manga. – Sean Gaffney

Magi: The Labyrinth of Magic, Vol. 24 | By Shinobu Ohtaka | Viz Media – Did I say the flashback would take up ‘some’ of this next volume? Sorry, I meant 90% of it, as everything turns horribly tragic and awful in the best backstory way, as Aladdin finishes trying to explain why metal users fighting each other leads only to destruction. There is some truly heartrending imagery here, with children burned to death and lots and lots of dead bodies. Couples we loved and found cute are beaten down by events, and of course Sheba dies, but not before giving birth to Aladdin. That said, I suspect we haven’t seen the last of Arba. It is really nice to see the main cast again, and I loved the “Alibaba is undercut” gag’s exquisite timing. In any case, the flashback is finally done—will we get more Morgiana now, please? – Sean Gaffney

Of the Red, the Light, and the Ayakashi, Vol. 7 | By HaccaWorks* and nanao | Yen Press – A rather interesting thing happens in this volume: quite a few things are revealed and yet the overall story doesn’t get appreciably clearer! Yue and his friend Akitoshi are trying to rescue Tsubaki from the shrine, but before they can manage to do so, he’s whisked away to be tossed into a pond to give strength to Mikoto, who is fighting off Akashi, whose body now belongs to Yue because Shin stole it hundreds of years ago and oh, also, Shin is the progenitor of the Tsubaki family line and by the way, here’s the deal about Mikoto’s missing tail. So many things to try to keep track of and make sense of! Thankfully, Yue’s personal dilemma is a very compelling one. I’m invested in his outcome, even if I don’t fully grasp what happened in the past. – Michelle Smith

Sweetness & Lightning, Vol. 6 | By Gido Amagakure | Kodansha Comics – This is a particularly good volume of Sweetness & Lightning—there’s a bit more conflict than usual and it doesn’t always get solved through yummy food. Tsumugi gets attached to the lost kitty she and her dad have taken in, only for its real owners to come to claim it. Then, the gang goes camping and a couple of her friends get in a disagreement. Something similar ensues on Kotori’s school trip. And Inuzuka’s bossy brother shows up and offers unsolicited advice on various things. The best part, though, is when Tsumugi stays a while with her grandparents while her dad is chaperoning a school trip. Not the part where they eat locusts, but the time she spends with her great-grandmother, looking at pictures of her dad as a kid, and contemplating complex topics like getting old. Delicious food and some bittersweet feels? I am so on board with that! – Michelle Smith

By: Michelle Smith

#Anime #News #Manga Bookshelf

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