#// really sat in my ask box for a week :sobs: | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

strzlun · 9 months

Text

BET

// shim jake //

pairing: popular!jake x nonpopular!femreader

word count- 4.3k

genre/cw- fluff, angst, confessing, party setting, profanity(one word), one sided arguing, two people so deeply in love, crying(sobbing), jake redemption arc(?), reader and jake go through it

summary- Jake’s secret gets exposed to the one person who he wanted to keep it from

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Jake and you were the couple everyone wanted to be. It was the classic trope, popular boy and nonpopular girl. At first, people thought you guys would only last a few day, a week at most.

So imagine everyone’s surprise when you and Jake are celebrating your one year anniversary. It was obvious you were madly in love with him, it was quite embarrassing at times but you never really let it affect you. You knew you loved him and that’s what mattered.

Jake on the other hand was openly obvious on how much he loved you. He didn’t care though, he was more than happy to show you off as his girl for everyone to see.

You and Jake celebrated your one year relationship in private with a beautiful candle lit dinner and a drive around the city, windows down and blasting music.

You remember that night when Jake tapped your shoulder and when you turned around, your heart dropped seeing Jake down on one knee.

He pulled a box from his jacket pocket and opened it. You gasped seeing the beautiful overlapped diamond ring. You looked at him and saw the way his eyes sparkled in the moonlight, his eyes held the universe in them.

“I know this may not be much yet, but I want to promise you the entirety of my love. I will never stop loving you and I promise the next time this happens, it won’t be a promise ring. It will be a real ring, asking for your hand in a an eternity of love” Jake took out the ring and held out his hand for you to offer

Your smile couldn’t be contained anymore, you offered your hand and Jake placed the promise ring onto your ring finger. When he got off his knee, you launched yourself into his arms. He giggled as you tightly hugged him.

You both were stupidly in love for each other and that didn’t bother neither of you one bit.

You weren’t surprised when Jake’s close friends decided to host an open invite party to celebrate the two of you’s one year relationship.

So the night of the party, you and Jake were already accepting the congratulations from everyone walking in the party on your one year relationship.

Jake had his hand on your waist, keeping you close to him. You giggled when he would place soft kisses against your temple, he smiled hearing you. He was in a bubble of you and he loved being in it every single second.

“Mind if I steal Jake for a minute?” Sunghoon appeared in front of the couple, already peeling Jake away from you

“Not really asking if you’re already taking him away Sunghoon” He sheepishly smiled at you before dragging away your boyfriend who gave an apologetic smile

You waved goodbye to the two fading figure and once they were gone you sighed and went on your phone to pass some time. Some people here and there continued to congratulate you on your relationship, you thanked them and went out with the night.

The minute waiting for Jake soon turned into 30 minutes and your feet were already hurting from standing and walking around the party.

Luckily, you managed to escape upstairs of the house, already feeling your social battery drained. You sat on the top of the staircase and looked passed the rails to everyone having the time of their lives.

You smiled softly as you rested your head against the rails, you closed your eyes and let your mind overrun with the blaring music playing.

But soon you were knocked out of your daze when you felt your phone vibrate. You anticipated it to be Jake wondering where you were, so to your disappointment when you saw it was just a random number texting you.

You were going to ignore the message, thinking it was a wrong number but the mention of your boyfriend in the conversation caught your attention quick.

: Hi, I know this may catch you by surprise and I’m sorry but I will really like for you to know something

: Shim Jake isn’t what he says he is

You: Excuse me who the hell are you?

: I rather keep my identity a secret but I am someone who used to be close with Jake, but I stopped being friends with him after what happened.

You were stunned as you read the message, you knew all of Jake’s friends even if he had so many of them, you knew most of them. So who could this person be?

You: What do you mean what happened?

: I’m so sorry to do this to you on your one year anniversary but I couldn’t handle holding onto this any longer. It’s unfair to you.

: [Attachment: 1 file]

: Please listen to the attachment, I’m so sorry

You: What the hell is this?

You: Who are you?

Your messages no longer sent to the number, they had blocked your number after randomly texting you about your boyfriend supposedly not being who is supposed to be.

You were going to delete the conversation but something was eating at you to listen to the attachment. It could be some sick prank that someone is playing on you, but the way your gut squeezed in unease was more than enough for you to shakily tap the attachment.

It was a video, you could notice it was Jake’s room. You could see Sunghoon and Jay, Jake’s two close friend sitting on the floor and your boyfriend sitting on his bed.

The person recording remained unknown to you, you assumed it must have been the person who texted you.

You played the video and raised the volume to hear it, the moment it began you could hear Jay and Sunghoon laughter. It was something you got used due to the frequent times you heard them when hanging out with the three of them.

“Alright Jake you ready for your bet?” It was Sunghoon’s voice

“Give it to me Sunghoon”

“I bet you can’t make a nonpopular fall in love with you”

“That’s your bet seriously Sunghoon? I thought you would give him something hard” Jay scoffed hearing the bet

“Oh but I’m not done yet. We get to choose who he had the pursue and if you can’t get them to fall in love with you in a span of 2 months you have to pay up”

“How much?” Jake’s voice sounded intrigued with the bet his friends were placing

“200 dollars” You could hear the Oo’s from the people in Jake’s room

“Alright, who are you giving me Sunghoon?”

Your heart pounded against your chest, not ready to hear the next words to come out of Sunghoon’s mouth. You didn’t want to believe it just yet, you hoped it was all still some sick prank.

But when you heard your name, you stared at the video not being able to comprehend the thoughts in your mind. There was a ringing in your ear, the blaring music faded into the background.

Soon you heard Jake snicker in video, your attention was brought back to the ongoing video.

“That’s easy Sunghoon, get ready to pay up 200 dollars. She’ll be in love with me in no time”

“Why are you so quiet Heeseung?” Jay suddenly asked causing the person who recorded to ultimately end the video

You stared at the ended video, you vision was blurry. You weren’t one to cry no matter what hit you, but this time it was different. You wanted nothing more but to scream and cry your eyes out.

You didn’t know it was possible to feel such pain in your heart, but it seemed Jake made it possible for you to feel it.

You aimlessly stood up and walked down the stairs. Everything was numb in that moment, the music was muffled in your ears, the ringing only getting worse. The tears burned your eyes, you tried so hard to keep them in but it was hard. One kept falling after another.

Everything you have ever known, felt, seen, experienced with someone who you thought loved you, turned out to be a lie. None of it was real, it was all some big delusion that you believed.

You believed that Jake had actually loved you.

You thought he felt the same, you thought everything you and Jake experienced together was real. You felt sick knowing that it was because of some stupid bet him and his friend made.

You were together with Jake for one year all because of a bet.

With everyone was too busy in their own world, they weren’t able to notice you and you were grateful for that. You headed towards the front door but was stopped when you felt a hand wrap around your wrist.

You turned to face Jake who smile soon fell when he saw your state. He soon felt anger take over him, seeing you crying thinking someone had done this to you.

“Who did this to you?” Jake’s voice change to a dark one, he was okay with people bothering him but when it came to his girl being bothered he wouldn’t take a single bit of it

“You did” Your voice was soft but somehow Jake was still able to catch it, he looked into your eyes and he felt his heart churn in unease

Jake gulped before dragging you back up the stairs to a private room in the house. When he closed the door, he faced you, who sat on a chair facing away from him. You had your hands covering your face as you tried to regain your composure but you couldn’t.

Jake walked over to you and kneeled down on his knees to remove your hands from your face. When he did, he saw your tear stained face and he wanted nothing but to take your pain away.

“Talk to me, what happened?” Jake’s voice was warm and soft, if it weren’t for the moment you would’ve melted into his voice but you could only scoff at him

“What happened? Humor me Jake, how did it feel like to play me like an idiot?” Jake froze in his place, you couldn’t have found out, there was no way you knew

“What are you talking about?” He knew he was going down a risky path, but he was willing to try anything in order to salvage his relationship with you

“Your little bet with your friends, Was I really that easy for you?” Each word felt like a stab of reality to Jake’s heart, you found out and he didn’t know what to do

“Say something!” You were growing frantic, you hated how he wasn’t saying anything after realizing you found out

“I’m sorry” Jake began to apologize nonstop and he held your hands tightly in his, you could feel his hand shaking

You scoffed and shook his hands off you and you got up from the chair, you were getting mad. Was that all he could say to you?

“You played me like an idiot Jake. You made me fall in love with you like an idiot, only to find out that I was just a mere bet”

“God I am so sorry, it wasn’t supposed to be like this” Jake muttered, shaking his head as he could feel the tears welling in his eyes

“What wasn’t supposed to be like this? That I wasn’t supposed to find out? You’re unbelievable Jake”

How could you be calm in this moment, you could feel your heart breaking with every single word he said. You could see the tears in his eyes and you wanted nothing more but to embrace him into a tight hug. But you stood strong, you knew that this probably will be the last time you will ever speak to him. You needed to make sure you don’t regret this moment.

“No! It’s not like that”

“Then what it is like ? Mhm? Please do tell me the bigger picture of this bet that I seemed to have missed” Jake stood silently, he couldn’t even face you any longer

He hung his head low as he face the ground, feeling the strong gaze you had on him. He could feel himself crumble into shame, he felt sick to his stomach for allowing this to ever happen.

“Was it worth it Jake?”

Those words were the thing that caused Jake to finally look at you again, your eyes were red and filled with tears. You looked broken in that moment and Jake hated himself for being the reason behind it, he promise himself after he fell in love with you that he only would be the reason behind your happiness.

Jake wanted to scream, he wanted to tell you that it wasn’t worth it. That you mattered much more than that stupid bet. He had so much to tell you but he couldn’t seem to find a coherent way to address them all.

So he stayed silent, his mouth opening every now and then to voice some words but nothing was able to come out. You only smiled, nodding your head with the tears falling once again.

You gave Jake a chance to explain himself but he came short and said nothing. You assumed that the bet was worth way more than you, you chuckled to yourself.

You really thought Jake loved you, how naive you thought.

Jake watched you as you began to take off the promise ring he gave you. He felt sick to his stomach, he wanted to stop you from taking it off. His hand reached out to stop you but his arm was shoved back by you.

You glared at him through the tears and roughly threw the ring at him. It hit his chest before falling to the ground next to his feet.

No other words were exchanged between the two of you before you opened the door and walked out, making sure to slam the door behind you. You quickly rushed out of the house, not wanting to be seen by anyone in this state.

But the moment you made it out the house and walked a block away from it, that was when you finally crumbled and sobbed into your hands. You never expected your first heartbreak to hurt this badly.

Jake stood in the room, trying to process what had just happened. Did he just lose you in a span of an hour? Jake looked down to the ring you threw at him, he bent down to pick it up with shaky hands. He let out a sob with a shaky smile as he held the ring in his hand, he should’ve known better.

He shouldn’t have played you in the first place. He never should’ve listened to his friends when making the dare. Now he had to face the consequences of his action, losing you, the only person he loved with his whole heart.

Jake rushed out the door, holding tightly onto your ring hoping that some day he can place it back on your finger. When he rushed down the stairs, he asked people if they had seen you. When every person he asked all said no about your whereabouts, he was growing frustrated.

Jay and Sunghoon saw Jake frantically running around the party with a tear stained face. They quickly went up to him but they were greeted with a shove from him.

“What the hell happened Jake?” Jay worriedly asked seeing how unstable their friend was becoming, Jay tried looking for you but you were no where in sight

“She found out” Jake hiccuped through his sobs as he could feel his body become weak at the thought that finally sunk in, he truly lost you

“Found out about what?” Sunghoon asked

“The fucking bet!” Jake yelled, not caring about the glances he was getting from the surrounding people

“Get everyone out, the party is over” Jake grumbled before pushing his friends to the side as he rushed out the house to look for you

Jake was greeted with the night breeze, he was able to breathe properly just for a moment before his breathing become heavy again. He grabbed his phone from his pocket as he opened his car, he started to call you nonstop.

When he was sent to voicemail after every call, he sent messages hoping that you would respond to him even if it would be to shut him up. He just wanted to know that you hadn’t blocked him yet.

He started his car and began to drive over to your place, he knew you must’ve went back home. He just hoped that you would be willing enough to hear him out even if it was just for a second.

Jake’s grip on his steering wheel was tight, he tried to even out his breathing but it was hard. He rolled down the windows in hopes that the fresh air could help him breathe better. But he was struck with the memory of you, sitting in the passenger seat window rolled all the way down as the wind hit your face.

He wanted to cry even more but refrained from doing so. He gulped down his sob, roughly wiped the tears in eyes, stepping on the gas pedal even harder. He needed to arrive to your place as fast as he could, he needed to fix everything.

When Jake arrived at your place, he knocked and knocked hoping that you would open it but when he noticed all the lights out and no response. You must have not went home that night.

Jake plopped himself onto the stairs leading to your front door, he laid his head against the rails and sighed heavily. His eyes were closed tightly as he bit his lip to stop the quivering of them.

He will stay the whole night if he has to. He just needed to see you again.

The next morning you were dropped off at your place thanks to your friend who kindly allowed you to stay the night. She didn’t try to pry when you called her sobbing asking if you could crash her place for the night. She just welcomed you with open arms, and you couldn’t feel more thankful.

“You can crash at my place tonight, if you need to. You know the passcode” Your friend smiled warmly and you could only give a heartily smile, you face hurt from all the crying you did last night

“I’ll let you know if I will” You opened her car door and walked out it, waving goodbye as she drove off

You sighed before walking to your place, you grabbed your keys out. When you looked up to your front door, you shrieked when you saw Jake sleeping against the rails.

The shriek caused Jake to shoot his eyes wide open to see you you standing in front of him. He roughly rubbed his eyes, checking if it just wasn’t his mind playing tricks on him.

When your figure didn’t disappear, he let out a smile before standing up. You notice his bloodshot red eyes, the tears he failed to wipe away on his cheek, the way his usual styled hair was disheveled.

You knew you weren’t in the best condition either, but it was obvious who was in the better condition between the two and it definitely wasn’t Jake.

“What the hell are you doing here? Did you wait all night here?” You asked, you hated how you were still worried about him but you couldn’t blame yourself it has only been a night since everything went down

“I waited for you to return” Jake muttered and you sighed deeply at his words, you closed your eyes for a moment before opening them again

“Can we talk please?” Jake’s voice always managed to do something to you and this moment was no different, you nervously gulped down

You knew you shouldn’t hear him out, but part of you still had hope for whatever salvage was left for the relationship.

“You have 5 minutes and then I want you out” You lightly shoved Jake as you walked up the stairs to open the front door, when you opened the door you expected Jake to walk in but when you noticed he was still at the bottom of the staircase you sighed

“Are you not going to come in?” Jake stared at you dumbfounded for a moment before rushing up the stair and hesitantly entering your place

Of course this wasn’t the first time he was here but it was definitely the first time where he felt uncomfortable to be in your place and in your presence. He didn’t actually expect you to agree so when you did, he was beyond happy but nonetheless nervous.

“I suggest you start talking” You told, you were in no mood to mess around, you were tired, your eyes hurt from the crying, you wanted nothing more but to crash

“Look at me” Jake’s voice was soft but you didn’t dare to look at him, you know if you did, you wouldn’t be able to stay strong, you would crumble before him

“Please look at me” Jake’s hand hovered over your chin, he was hesitant to lay a finger on you not wanting to make you feel less comfort

When you swallowed and looked up to face Jake, you felt yourself fall into the abyss of love. You knew you wouldn’t be able to stay strong if you saw him so up close to you.

Jake gave you a quick smile, the same damn smile that made you weak in your heart for him.

“I’m going to be honest with you from the very beginning, I never meant for this ever happen”

“You’re right, I first talked to you as part of the bet. It was stupid one I made with the others, we and especially I didn’t expect for the bet to go beyond more than just a bet”

“The more we continued to spend time together, the more I realize how wonderful you were. You made my heart do backflips and I knew that wasn’t normal. I was scared at first, I knew what this meant. I was growing feelings for you”

“Even though it was all supposed to be a bet to make you fall in love with me, I was the one that fell so madly in love with you”

“So I cursed Sunghoon and Jay out and told them the bet was off. I wanted to pursue you fully and solely based on my own feelings and not because of the bet”

“The one year that we spent together must have been the best year of my life, you made me feel alive. That’s rich coming from me since I’m known to always be going out every weekend. Yet, you changed that in me”

“I realized that I didn’t need to go out every weekend to have fun. All I need was you and I was set for the rest of my life”

“I know I messed up big time. I know and I don’t even feel like I deserve to even been in your presence after everything I did”

“But I’m so in love with you that I’m willing to fight to possible salvage the little bit of hope that I have in my heart”

“I love you so much”

“I’m so sorry for causing you so much pain. All I wanted was to make to you happy. I completely understand if you don’t forgive me, you can hate me all you want”

“I truly am so sorry for everything. I really do love you. Don’t question my love for you in the slightest. Every ‘I love you’ I told you, everything that I told you was real and true”

You didn’t notice how badly you were crying as you heard his words. You felt a slight anger but mostly relief knowing the relationship began because Jake truly fell in love with you. Even if the reason why you two began to talk was because of a bet, the rest of it was because of the love you had for one another.

Jake himself didn’t even realize he also had tears falling down his face. His hand hesitantly went to cup your cheek and wipe your tears away.

“I always hated to see you cry” Jake muttered, his thumb creasing your cheek, his touch was soft afraid if he held you hard, he would lose you

“You’re so stupid Jake” You chuckled against the tears to which he mimicked, you and Jake were in a chuckling mess

“I’m only stupid for you” Your lips curved up in a smile as you heard his words, he knew how to melt your heart

“I love you too Jake” It was rare for you to be the one that initiates those words, most of the time it was Jake but whenever you did say it, he always savored it

Jake felt his heart soar through cloud nine, he felt as if he fell in love with you all over again. He smiled brightly as he softly wrapped his arms around you in a hug.

“Do you have my ring?” You asked in the hug and Jake thought you would never asked, when he pulled away from the hug, he dug into his pocket and he pulled out the promise ring

“Will you let me do the honor putting it on you again?” Jake kneeled only one knee as he held the ring between his fingers, you giggled at his words, your hands running through his hair to smooth it out

“You’ll be the only one I’ll ever allow” You offered hand to which Jake softly grasped, placing the promise ring back on your finger where it was meant to be all along

The way you and Jake looked at each other as he rose from his kneel before he placed a kiss onto your cheek, you smiled warmly at his action.

The two of you were still stupidly in love with each other, and to no doubt would that ever fade away.

“To an eternity with you my girl”

#shim jake #enhypen #enhypen x reader #enhypen angst #enhypen fluff #enhypen writer #enhypen imagines #enhypen jake #shim jaeyun #shim jake x reader #shim jake imagine #enhypen fic #enhypen oneshots

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katyswrites · 7 months

Text

don't call me 'baby'

PART 10 | SERIES

Pairing: Steve Harrington/fem!reader

Warnings: Sugardaddy!Steve, SMUT (18+), angst, mentions of pregnancy/a pregnancy scare, mentions of food and alcohol, unprotected p in v, daddy kink, oral sex (f receiving), creampie, ddlg dynamics, swearing, alcohol use, smoking, age gap, no use of y/n

Wordcount: 10.4K

A sugar daddy modern AU, a whirlwind summer romance in Italy, and two people from completely different walks of life, somehow finding each other in one of the most beautiful cities in the world. But, what will happen when summer ends?

PART 10 | meet me in the afterglow

FOUR MONTHS LATER

Your walk to work was chilly enough to warrant a coat. That was perhaps the thing you missed least about home in the U.S. - even though the winters certainly got cold here, it was nowhere near the sub-zero temperatures you had grown up with during the coldest time of year. Maybe the only thing you missed was snow - in all of your time living here, you had only gotten a brief dusting once, and it had melted by the following day.

Still, a week out from Christmas, you now needed to wrap something warm around yourself as you walked down the street, heading closer to the city center as your shift was due to start.

You were technically two minutes late to your shift, the coffee shop busy enough to have a line going out the door when you arrived. Yet, your manager Francesco said nothing - a small spark of joy in your day.

You didn’t necessarily need to go back to work - Steve’s money had yet to run out. But, you felt good about earning your own money - and, the less you had to draw on his remaining funds, the less you had to think about him.

You hadn’t seen or spoken to Steve since the night of your argument. Well, that was only partially true - you had received one piece of communication from him. It came a few days later - you had been moping in your apartment, having barely left your room for days, when an envelope arrived. It had his familiar writing and wax seal, with another wad of cash and a letter made out to you:

I promise this is the last you’ll hear from me. I am a man of my word, so I promise to help provide for you until you’re finished with school. I’ll be transferring enough money to your account to cover all of your expenses, so no need to worry about your rent, food, anything of the sort… I really do want you to be able to focus on school, okay? So, please don’t protest, or try to send the money back. Please feel free to use the credit card if you need to.

I’m sorry it ended this way. We both knew it was going to, but I apologize if I said anything out of line the other night. I truly do wish you the best.

Take care,

Steve

Reading it had been a punch to the gut. The formality of it, the finality of it… you would’ve rather that you never heard from him again. You had stashed the letter in a box under your bed, and not looked at it since.

A few weeks after that, you had pregnancy scare. It was silly, really - but, your period was late, and if was the first conclusion your mind had jumped to. You had called Robin in a panic, begging her to come home - she did, with four different brands of pregnancy tests. Those 15 minutes of waiting for results were the most agonizing of your life - then, upon seeing them all negative, you fell to your knees and burst into tears.

“It’s okay,” Robin had cooed, rubbing soothing circles on your back. “You’re good it was a false alarm - you’re probably just late because of stress -”

“I know,” you sobbed. “I just -”

“What is it?”

You then had sat up, chest heaving as you sobbed.

“He’s really gone isn’t he?”

Robin held you in her arms that night as you cried yourself to sleep.

To your knowledge now, he had gone back to the U.S. - was he still in Chicago? Or, did he go back to New York? You realized it was better for you to not ask these questions, or to think of him at all. As the weeks had turned into months, you found yourself thinking of him a little less each day - but you still thought of him. You saw him in the passersby as you walked down the street, in every car window, in every businessman walking through the door to order a coffee. Sometimes, you’d hear a laugh, or get a brief whiff of cigarette smoke, and swear it was him. But it never was - it never would be again.

The days had dragged on, but luckily, you often found yourself too busy to dwell too much on thoughts of Steve. Between work and school, your plate was pretty full. With graduation in mere weeks, you had spent the entire term studying and working on your thesis. Steve’s remaining money, at least, allowed you to work far less hours than you had before - a small blessing, you supposed.

The day was moving pretty quickly, the morning rush busy enough that two hours flew by without much notice. It was only during the afternoon lull that you found yourself able to look up from the espresso machine - only to lock eyes with a familiar face through the window.

Eddie smiled back at you, waving. You couldn’t help but grin, and beckoned him to come inside. He bounded through the glass doors, bursting into the coffee shop with the infectious, chaotic energy he always carries with him.

“Bella, how are you?” he asked, leaning over the counter with a big grin.

“I’m okay,” you said, shrugging.

He raised an eyebrow.

“Just okay?”

“Oh well - you know, a bit stressed with the end of term and all. But, that’ll all be over soon.”

“I’m almost done, too - just finishing up my exams, all of that nonsense.”

“Do you have someone for your thesis?”

You nodded. “Professor Hopper - he’s always had a soft spot for me,” you said, smiling fondly, thinking of the seemingly-gruff.

“I have Clarke - I don’t actually know how much he knows about photography, he teaches chemistry for godsake, but apparently it’s a hobby or something, so he’ll sign off on whatever I do,” Eddie said, laughing.

“Oh! I forgot to tell you - I actually have my own studio space now.”

“What? Eddie, that’s amazing!”

He grinned. “Thanks - I mean, I’m still technically freelance, but I’m hoping once I’m fully graduated more work will start coming in. But for now, I don’t mind having some spare time to practice with the band.”

You did your best to stop yourself from rolling your eyes.

“Right - don’t forget me when you make it as a big rockstar, Eddie.”

He let out a hearty laugh at that, the infectious kind that had you joining in - you hadn’t laughed like that in quite some time.

“You know, you should come by later to check it out,” Eddie said. “I mean, if you want -”

You thought for a moment, then nodded.

“Sure, why not - I get off in about a half hour -”

“Perfect,” he cried, clapping his hands together. “I’ll just wait around then - and, uh, can I get an espresso? Since I’m already here and all.”

You rolled your eyes, fighting a smile.

“Yeah, sure thing Munson - I’ll take my sweet time with it, just for you.”

The end of your shift flew by, and soon enough you were pulling off your apron, linking your arm in Eddie’s as he led you out the door and through the city.

The studio, as it turned out, was only a few blocks away. The space was small, but nice - a big glass storefront allowed plenty of light in, even with the fading sun, indicative of the short days of winter. Some of Eddie’s work hung framed on the walls - city scenes, candids of people on the street, bands in action at his favorite club… and even a few of you, from the project you posed for a few years ago.

“Wow - this is amazing, Eddie!” you exclaimed, glancing around the studio with genuine pride for your friend. You knew this was always the goal for him, what he always wanted to do.

“Grazie mille,” he said, beaming.

“Do you have anything lined up?”

He nodded.

“Some - nothing too interesting. A few weddings, graduation photoshoots, things like that. Oh, do you want to see the photo lab?”

You let him lead the way into the back room, passing through a dimly-lit room with machines and equipment that you were sure you had no idea how to use. Newly developed photos were hanging around on clothespins, or spread across the table in the middle.

“Back there is the darkroom,” Eddie said, gesturing to a small door on the other side of the room. “But yeah, this is where the magic happens.”

“You develop all your pictures this way?” you asked, examining a few laid across the table.

He shook his head. “Not exactly - only the stuff I shoot on film. A lot of what I do is digital, and I edit that on my computer but… I really do love shooting film. I only really do that for specific things. Oh, which reminds me!”

He turned his back to you, rummaging through a filing cabinet until he produced a large manila envelope, extending it to you. You furrowed your brow, confused. You turned it to examine it properly - the only thing written on it was your name and a date, in Eddie’s telltale scrawl.

“What -”

“It’s those pictures I owe you, from your birthday party - sorry, it took me a while to get around to developing them.”

Oh.

“Oh,” you said quietly, gripping the envelope a bit tighter. “Uh, thanks - that was really nice of you, Eddie.”

You were still staring down at the parcel in your hands, your hands shaking a bit - you had completely forgotten that Eddie had been taking pictures all night. Most likely because you had been a bit distracted at the time. But now…

“I think they turned out pretty nice, if you ask me,” Eddie said. “But, you can be the judge of that yourself.”

You pressed your mouth into a tight line, nearly feigning a smile as you finally met his eyes again. He was looking back expectantly, and you realized he wanted you to look at them now.

“Oh, yeah,” you mumbled. “I guess I’ll just -”

You opened it up, sliding out the stack of photos - they were slightly bigger than the ones you had seen from a digital camera, on a beautiful matte paper that you knew must have not been cheap. This, you realized, was Eddie’s belated birthday gift to you.

You thumbed through the pictures - the first few were just candids of your friends on the dancefloor, or deep in conversation around the bar. There were a few of you and Robin, arms thrown around each other and smiling ear-to-ear.

There were quite a few solo shots of you, raising a glass to the camera, mid-laugh, or dancing - somehow, he had made it look like you truly were the center of attention, as if to tell people this is who we were there for!

You couldn’t help but smile to yourself, laughing quietly at a few of the shots, including one of Robin flipping off the camera as she kisses Vickie. Then, your smile dropped, because there he was.

Steve, looking as handsome as you remembered, but somehow also a stranger, or like a figment of your imagination. Somehow, a small part of your subconscious had convinced you over the last few months that perhaps he wasn’t real, a true figment of your imagination that had been too good to be true. But there he was, large as life, his arm wrapped around you as you smiled into the camera. You were smiling in his arms, a girl completely unrecognizable in some ways. In another photo, he’s pressing a kiss to your cheek as you laugh - you remembered that one being taken, that’s for sure. You gently trailed your fingers across the picture, as if you were hoping to reach in and pull that happy girl out, just to shake a bit of sense into her. You didn’t even realize you were crying until a fat wet teardrop his the page, rolling down and off the edge.

“Whoa - are you alright?” Eddie asked, his voice tinged with worry.

You jumped, having nearly forgotten that he was there at all. How long had you been staring at the pictures of Steve? For a few minutes, or hours? There was no way to know.

“Yeah, I’m good,” you said, the thickness in your voice betraying you. You pressed the heels of your hands under your eyes, willing the gentle tears to stop, sniffling.

“What’s wrong?” Eddie asked softly.

You laughed dryly, more hot tears welling up as you did.

“Nothing! I - they’re beautiful, Eddie. Really - thank you. You - you’ve really got a talent.”

Your voice wobbled a bit at the end, and you sniffled.

“I’m sorry, I - it’s nothing to do with you,” you assured him. “I just - I’ve been having a hard time lately.”

Eddie cocked his head, confused. Then, his eyes flitted down to the picture in your hands.

“Oh - I’m sorry, I - is this about him?” Eddie asked quietly, gesturing to the photos. You just nodded, avoiding his gaze again as you stuffed them back into the envelope.

“I didn’t know you two had broken up, I’m sorry -”

“We didn’t break up!” you snapped, harsher than intended. “Fuck, I - sorry, that came out wrong. We didn’t break up, because we were never exactly together. It’s just complicated.”

Eddie furrowed his brow. “Yeah, okay - well, I’m sorry to hear about your not-breakup. I guess I’m just a little surprised.”

“Why’s that?” you asked.

He shrugged. “I spent a long time looking at all of those when I was developing them - you know how they say pictures tell a thousand words?”

You nodded.

“Well - I take pictures of a lot of couples - weddings, engagement shoots, all of that… and I’ve never seen two people more in love than you two.”

You felt your chest tighten - maybe you were being a lovesick idiot at your party, but Steve?

You shook your head. “No - Eddie, it… it wasn’t like that. I can promise you that.”

Steve made that perfectly clear.

Eddie shrugged again. “I’m just telling you what I observed, that’s all.”

“Well maybe you should mind your business,” you grumbled.

Fuck. You shouldn’t have said that.

Eddie’s face fell a bit, and he slowly took a step back, hands shoved in his pockets.

“My apologies,” he whispered. He was hurt, that much was obvious. You mentally kicked yourself.

“No Eddie - I’m sorry, I didn’t -”

You sighed, frustrated.

“Things have been, like, really weird the last few months and… it doesn’t matter.”

“I could tell,” he said, voice quiet. “You’ve been.. Distant.”

You nodded, the awkwardness filling the space between you two. You had fucked this up too, somehow.

“So,” you said, clearing your throat. “Uh, it’s getting late, and dark… I probably should head home.”

“Yeah, okay - good idea, I have some stuff to work on anyway.”

You both nodded, avoiding eye contact as you both headed out back into the studio.

It wasn’t until you were at the door that you turned to face Eddie again.

“The place really is beautiful… I’m proud of you,” you said sincerely. He offered a small smile in return.

“Thanks.”

“I also - the pictures are beautiful. Thank you for these, I - they’re great.”

“I’m sorry if they -”

“Don’t apologize,” you said firmly. “They’re great - you’ve really got a gift, you know.”

You could tell Eddie was fighting a real smile, a small win in your book.

“C’mon, you know my ego’s just fine on its own.”

You laughed, and without thinking, pulled him into a tight hug.

“I’m sorry I lost it a little earlier,” you whispered.

“It’s alright,” he said, pulling away. “Heartbreak is funny like that.”

You decided not to bother protesting his assessment this time, too tired to start a fight again just to feel something.

“Right, okay.”

“Are you sure you don’t want me to take out the photos with… him?” Eddie asked, gesturing down to the envelope.

“No, that’s alright - I’m a big girl, I can go through them. I’m definitely going to hang a few of these up though, so thanks again.”

“Take good care of yourself darling, alright? And come by any time - for any reason.”

It was an olive branch, an assurance that things were okay. You forced a smile, nodding.

“Thanks, Eddie - you’re a great friend, you know.”

You bid your farewells, and left the studio with a strange feeling settling within you. You pulled your coat a little tighter around you, stuffing the envelope underneath as you charged through the chilly evening air to the nearest bus stop.

You didn’t get home until nearly 6pm, the winter sky fully dark by then. By the time you walked a few blocks and up the stairs to your apartment, your face was stinging from the cold, the wind picking up more since that afternoon.

Robin was on the couch, a rerun of Friends playing on the TV.

“Hey! You’re back kind of late,” she remarked.

“Yeah - I ran into Eddie, funnily enough,” you replied, hoping you sounded nonchalant.

“Oh really? How is he? I miss him - we should really make a plan to hang out with him soon -”

“Yeah, for sure,” you said, kicking off your shoes and hanging your coat on the rack. “He’s good - I saw his new studio, it’s nice.”

“Oh, no way! That’s great - I need to go sometime -”

“Yeah, totally,” you said, absentminded. “Uh, I’ve got some stuff to do, but I’ll be out here later -”

“Maybe we can get takeout or something -”

“Yeah, perfect -” you tittered, closing your bedroom door behind you, eyes on the envelope in your hands.

You bit your lip, debating what to do. Part of you considered finding all of the pictures of Steve, and burning them. But, that felt a bit dramatic. You pulled out the stack again, sifting through until you found the shots of him. You couldn’t help but smile, looking at how happy the girl in the photos was - if only she knew how quickly things would fall apart that night. The photo of Steve kissing you cheek was your favorite - it was just full of pure, unbridled joy. The one after that was the one you stared at for quite some time, though. You were looking into the camera, grinning widely. Steve, however, wasn’t - no, he was looking at you. You stared at him for quite some time - and remembered Eddie’s words.

I’ve never seen two people more in love than you two.

You had thought it was crazy - but, in the picture, Steve was looking at you like you’d hung the stars. Like, if he didn’t have you, he’d be lost. He was looking at you with eyes full of love - you just hadn’t been looking.

You gasped, realizing what Eddie had seen that you couldn’t - maybe everything had meant more to Steve than he had let on. No, that was crazy - wasn’t it?

What happened next didn’t have much explanation - it was probably crazy. You found yourself Googling Steve’s company headquarters in Chicago - it couldn’t be this easy, could it? But it was.

A quick call through the directory brought you to his secretary, a bubbly woman who was more than happy to help. You pretended to be the secretary of a business partner you had remembered Steve mentioning, saying how you wanted to send a thank-you gift - it had been too easy to get his home address, really. And, a confirmation that he was back in Chicago.

The next morning, you sent out an envelope, sticking on international postage. You debated not putting your name on the return address, but ultimately decided to include it - he’d recognize the address anyway. When you dropped it at the post office, you walked away feeling a sense of relief - and, perhaps, just a bit unhinged. TIme would tell if anything came of it. But, at the very least, it felt like finally closing the chapter of your life that had been defined by Steve Harrington. And, that was a good thing… right?

********

The day before Christmas Eve, you received great news: confirmation that you had passed all of your exams, your thesis receiving glowing feedback from the professors in your department. Your degree, which studied Art History and Travel and Tourism Management, meant that you would actually be able to stay here - you hoped to work in tourism in some way right here in Rome, or perhaps work in one of the city’s many museums - being bilingual would help, and more importantly, it meant you never had to set foot back in the United States again, if you didn’t want.

Christmas brought its usual cheer and celebration, complete with mulled wine and a potluck dinner you and Robin held for some of the other foreign students you were friendly with, knowing they didn’t have families to go to for the holidays. Your graduation only brought extra festivities, including a speech prepared by Robin given as a toast at dinner, saying how proud she was of you (and, how jealous she was that you didn’t have to worry about schoolwork anymore). It was silly yet sincere enough to make you tear up and pull her into a big hug. Eddie and Jonathan even swung by for a bit, joining in on the celebration until the wee hours of the morning. Robin and Vickie were all over each otherYou ate and drank to your heart’s content before stumbling to bed, leaving cleanup in the kitchen for the morning.

The morning of Boxing Day, it turned out, was actually the afternoon, with you and Robin oversleeping. You, to your own relief, felt tired, but not too hungover - the same couldn’t be said for Robin and Vickie, who stumbled into the kitchen with grimaces on their faces and grumbles as a greeting.

You spent most of the day cleaning up from the last two days’ festivities, washing dishes and clearing away wrapping paper, wiping countertops and vacuuming just enough until your home felt semi-in order.

You were still in your pajamas as it was getting dark again in the evening, a rarity these days. When Robin said she was heading out to dinner with Vickie and likely would be staying at her place that night, you bid her farewell, looking forward to some time alone to fully relax and unwind.

It was several hours later, after scrounging together a dinner of Christmas leftovers and half-dozing on the couch while a movie played, that your doorbell rang. You sat up with a start, your heart jumping at the unexpected intrusion. You stumbled to the door, grumbling about who could possibly be here at this hour - maybe Robin decided to come back after all, and got locked out again? You were ready to playfully ridicule her when you opened the door. But when you saw who was standing on the other side, you froze.

Steve Harrington was there on your doorstep, barely illuminated in the dim light. His chest was heaving, his hair just a bit disheveled. His eyes widened when he saw you, and you imagined you did the same. Your heart plummeted to your stomach at the sight of him, so real and alive in front of you. Were you dreaming? Was this some sick prank?

Neither of you said anything for a moment, two mouths hanging open, searching for the words.

“It’s Christmas,” you blurted out, the first words you’ve said to him in over four months.

“It’s December 26th,” he replied, simply and casually.

“I - well, it’s still a holiday, kind of.”

“Yeah, I know - do you know how hard it is to catch a last-minute flight on Christmas?”

You just stood there in the doorway, unable to think of anything else to say - what the fuck?

“What are you doing here?” you asked, words biting. You were lashing out a bit, but you didn’t care - this moment right now reminded you of a similar one over the summer, when he came to your doorstep to explain how he wasn’t engaged. What was his excuse now?

“Why did you send me this?” he asked, holding up a familiar envelope - the photo.

Why did you? You weren’t certain of that answer yourself. So, you went with the first explanation that came to your head.

“It’s a good picture of you,” you said quietly.

He rolled his eyes.

“Do not - I don’t hear from you for months, then I get this in the mail - on Christmas Eve, mind you -”

“I’m sorry, were you supposed to hear from me?”

“I don’t know!” he cried. “Maybe?”

You scoffed. “You can’t be serious - you made it very clear that you never wanted to see me again.”

“I - what?”

“I wish you well? Take care? We ended things, Steve - what else was I meant to think?”

He sighed, his shoulders sagging.

“I don’t know. I guess part of me - it doesn’t matter. But, what am I supposed to make of this?” he asks, waving the envelope.

“I - Eddie gave me a bunch of pictures he took at my birthday party… I thought maybe you’d want that one.”

He took a tentative step closer towards you, gauging your reaction. You held your ground, not breaking eye contact.

“Is that the only reason?” he asked, voice low.

You felt your heartbeat quicken, your palms clammy - he really was just so handsome. Still, there was something so boyish about him, something that reminded you of why you fell for him in the first place. He had cut his hair a bit, his summer tan faded - and he looked tired. Then again, you probably did too - you suddenly became conscious of the fact that you were in your pajamas, still looking like you had just woken up - you wished you could disappear, never to be perceived again.

“Yeah,” you whispered. “The only reason.”

He was close enough now that you could see his Adam’s Apple bob as he gulped, his eyes glancing up and down your form as he took a deep breath.

“Tell me that, when you sent this, there wasn’t at least a small part of you that hoped I’d respond - that, when you sent this, you hoped I’d call, or show up here. If there wasn’t, I’ll walk away right now, and you’ll never have to see me again.”

There it was - everything laid out on the table. So much was still unsaid - but, it was obvious that he also had been hurting the last few months, that he didn’t want this to end, maybe even nearly as much as you did.

“You really flew all the way here because I sent you a photo?” you whispered.

He nodded. “Of course I did.”

“You realize how crazy that is, right?”

He chuckled dryly.

“Well, they do say it makes you do crazy things.”

“...it?” you asked, voice wavering.

He nodded.

Oh.

“Come inside,” you murmured. “It’s pretty cold out there.”

As soon as the door was shut behind him, he began spiraling into a new explanation.

“I hope you know that I didn’t come here just to - you’re right, it is kind of crazy, but I didn’t know what else to do, after everything that happened -”

“I don’t want to talk about this anymore,” you said, cutting him off. “I don’t want to talk at all.”

You both stood there for a moment, eyes locked on eachother. Then, as if reading each other’s minds, you both moved at once - you crashed your lips into his, fast and desperate. He sighed against your lips, pulling you close as his tongue slipped into your mouth.

You felt like crying - you had missed him so much, more than you had realized - his voice, his warmth, his scent - it brought everything flooding back, the feelings you had buried in an attempt at self-preservation. But now, as you kissed him, you felt the tears well up, stinging your eyes as they rolled down your face, hot and fast.

“Whoa - baby, it’s okay - what’s wrong -”

Baby.

“Nothing,” you cried, wiping the tears away. “I just - I really fucking missed you.”

You felt stupid to admit it, but then again, didn’t he come close to confessing that himself just a few moments ago?

“I know, I know, baby - you have no fuckin’ idea -”

Another kiss, passionate and apologetic.

“I didn’t mean any of what I said that night,” you gasped, pulling him closer. “I was just so scared -”

“I know, me too, baby - m’sorry -”

Baby. Babybabybaby.

He was holding your face between his hands now, backing you up until you were pressed against the wall, his lips finding yours again. He titled his head down to nuzzle at your throat, pressing his lips to the sensitive skin there. You tipped your head back, giving him full access to do as he pleased. He kissed and nipped at your neck, until you were moaning and crying out his name, pulling at his coat until it fell off of his shoulders. You twisted your hands in his button-down, his hands squeezing tighter on your waist in response.

“Fuck, Steve,” you breathed. “I’m sorry -”

“Stop with that,” he said, firmly taking your face in his hands again, catching your lips in another gentle kiss. “You’re right, I just realy don’t want to talk anymore -”

Then he was kissing you again, swallowing your noises as you whined his name, fingers gripping his hair.

“Bedroom, now,” you told him. “Please -”

“Yeah, okay.”

He couldn’t keep his hands off of you, both of you stumbling down the small hallway and into your bedroom, Steve slamming the door closed behind him with his foot.

“No Robin?” he asked, lips finding your neck again.

“No - ah! She’s at Vickie’s tonight -”

“Thank Christ,” he growled. “I don’t know how quiet I’m capable of being right now.”

He was apparently as desperate as you were, lips finding yours hungrily as he pulled your oversized t-shirt over your head, eyes practically rolling to the back of his head when he saw your breasts.

“No bra?” he asked.

“I was lounging around, until you showed up -”

“Thank god,” he practically snarled, his hands finding the small of your back to pull you close.

You reached between yourselves, unbuttoning his shirt, fingers slipping as they shook with anticipation. He reached down to help you, until he eventually shrugged the shirt off. You wrapped your arms around him, pressing your bare chest to his, nearly crying again from the contact.

“I really missed you,” he whispered, a man ruined. “I never thought I’d be able to have you like this again -”

“None of that,” you murmured, pressing a finger to his lips. “It’s alright.”

You just stared at him, running your hands down his chest as you took a deep breath.

“I need to tell you something.”

“What is it?” he asked, face flickering with concern. “Oh god, are - are you seeing someone else? I didn’t even ask -”

“No! No, nothing like that,” you assured, biting your lip. “I just - do you remember the night of my birthday on our trip, on the rooftop?”

He nodded. “That was a really nice night.”

“I haven’t been totally honest with you,” you admitted, heart racing as you were ready to lay out the thing you had been terrified to admit aloud.

“About what?” he asked softly, cupping your cheek gently with his palm.

“Remember when I said something in Italian, and you asked what it meant? And I just said it meant I loved the gift, the star thing?”

He nodded. You took a deep, shuddering breath.

“That wasn’t exactly true. I - I said that I was in love with you,” you managed, voice quivering at the end. “That’s why I was so scared - I didn’t realize until I said it… I had broken our rule, our number one rule -”

“Hey, hey -” he cooed, shaking his head. “Did you mean it?”

You hesitated for a moment, then nodded. “Yeah - I still do.”

The few seconds that passed after that had your stomach doing somersaults - what if he still didn’t feel that way, and everything he had said in the doorway was bullshit? You thought you were going to be sick -

But his face softened, his eyes glistening - was he going to cry?

“Fuck the rules. I stopped following those a long time ago,” he said.

Your heart fluttered, your face heating.

“Are you saying -”

“How did you say it in Italian again?” he asked. “I’m sorry, I’ve been slacking on my lessons without you around.”

You laughed. “Oh, um, it’s sono innamorato di te. It translates directly as I’m in love with you, or I’m falling for you.”

He nodded. “Well then - sono innamorato di te.”

You felt like your chest was about to explode, and before you knew it, you were crying again. He was too, you realized, his cheeks glistening with tears as he choked a sob with laughter.

“We could’ve saved ourselves a lot of trouble if we both just said that in the first place,” he said, reaching to wipe away some of your tears.

“How long?” you asked.

“Since the night of the gala I brought you to. So… longer. I guess I win.”

You sobbed again, Steve swallowing the sound with another kiss. It’s wet and salty with tears, a mess of apologies and confessions.

“Steve - I -”

“I know, baby,” he whispered, kissing your salty cheeks. “It’s alright - I’m here now -”

The conversation truly stopped after that - you couldn’t keep your hands off of one another, shedding clothes until you were nude and devouring each other with desperation unlike anything you had ever felt before.

Steve was pressing his lips between your breasts when you asked, voice breathy and filled with need.

“Steve - I need you, please -”

“Mm - yeah, okay -”

Before he could move, you were reaching down to grasp his cock in your hand. He gasped, pupils blown as his head thumped back against the wall. The noise that came out of him was unholy, wrecked and ruined as you brushed your thumb along his leaking tip.

“Christ, baby -”

“Can I suck you off, please?” you asked, desperate to make him come undone.

“Honey - you can’t - I just, I wanna fuck you so bad… I won’t last if I let you get your mouth on me, baby.”

You pouted, even as your heart raced with the thrill of knowing you’d have him inside you again.

“Next time,” he said, “I swear.”

A promise of a next time, of a thousand more times - you started kissing him again, lips bruising his - losing yourself in any drink or drug would never compared to losing yourself in Steve Harrington, you decided.

“Get on the bed,” he muttered, gently pushing you back. You did as he asked, falling back onto the mattress gently as he joined you, face hovering inches from yours.

His hair was a mess, pupils blown and lips glossy. He just shook his head, as if in disbelief.

“What?” you asked.

“You’re just so beautiful,” he breathed.

You felt your face heat, and you buried your face in your hands.

“Shut up.”

“About you? Not likely.”

Before you could come up with a clever remark, he was kissing your neck again, his lips traveling down slowly between the valley of your breasts, taking his time - he was going to leave bruises, you already knew.

But he didn’t stop, traveling down, down, down -

“What are you -”

“I never said I didn’t want to taste you first,” he murmured, pressing a kiss to your inner thigh. “I miss having my mouth on you so fuckin’ much -”

“Fuck,” you gasped. “You’re unreal -”

“Says you,” he retorted. Whatever you planned to say next died on your lips, anything resembling a coherent thought dissolving as his lips found your cunt.

“Oh my god,” you groaned, back arching as his tongue swirled around your clit.

“Just as fuckin’ sweet as I remembered,” he whispered, his breath against your pussy making your chest heave.

He licked a stripe along your slit, making your back arch off the bed, your eyes fluttering closed.

“Be loud for me, baby,” he murmured, lips finding your clit again. You did as he asked, moaning and crying out his name as he devoured your pussy, eliciting desperate sounds from you as your fingers wound themselves in his hair. He groaned as you pulled on his locks, encouraging you to continue doing so as he opted to slide a finger inside you.

“Fuck - Steve! Ohmygod, fuck -”

You felt him smile as he lapped and licked at your folds, adding a second finger and beginning to pump them in earnest, finding that spot inside of you too easily.

You were crying out, bucking your hips against Steve’s lips, like putty in his hands. For about ten minutes you were completely his, mind numb with pleasure as he took you apart with his mouth. You let him, feeling the blunt fingernails of his free hand digging into your thigh, pulling you as close as possible.

“Steve - I’m gonna - I’m so close, y’feel too good -”

Encouraged, he picked up the pace a bit, sending you completely over the edge. When you came, you saw stars, grinding down on Steve’s mouth and fingers. You were screaming, and he helped you through it, nuzzling against your core as you pulsed around his fingers. Your hand left his hair and found his temple, gently coaxing him closer as you rode out your orgasm.

You were still breathing heavily as he kissed his way slowly back up your body, worshiping every inch of skin he could find. YOu didn’t let your eyes open again until he was face-to-face with you, chin glistening with your release as he wore a smug grin.

“Such a good girl for me,” he murmured. “Tasted so good… you came so hard for me -”

“Mm -” you hummed, pulling him down for a kiss. You tasted yourself on him, the sensation completely euphoric.

“Do you need some time?” he asked gently.

You ran a finger over your clit, still sensitive and puffy, and shook your head.

“No, I’m okay - I actually really need you to fuck me.”

“Thank god,” he said, exasperated. “I don’t think I can go another second without fucking you -”

“I know -”

“I would dream about you, you know - all the time. I’d wake up in the middle of the night with a hard-on, of a mess in my boxers like a fuckin’ teenager -”

“I know what you mean,” you admitted, recalling a few times you had thought of him as you touched yourself since he’d left.

“Please tell me you’re still on the fuckin’ pill -”

“Yeah, I am - God, Steve -”

“I know, I know - ready baby?”

You nodded, locking your eyes with his as he positioned himself above you, pushing inside of you ever so slowly. You could tell he was holding back, doing everything he could to not enter you in one rough movement. You winced at the stretch, nearly forgetting just how big he was. He kissed apologies across your face, gasping as he felt your warm walls envelope him.

“Fuck -” he groaned, burying his face in your neck. “I can’t believe I went so long without this - you feel so fuckin’ perfect, baby - such a tight, perfect pussy -”

“You feel so good,” you breathed, digging your fingernails into his shoulderblades. “Steve - I’m so full, please fuck me -”

He did as you asked, rolling his hips against yours, eliciting a groan from both of you. He was still holding back you could tell - but you didn’t have time for that, not after months of missing him, of missing this -

“Let go, baby,” you whispered. “Please -”

“What did you just call me?” he asked.

“I - baby,” you repeated. You realized you never had before - was that wrong?

“Say it again,” he breathed.

“Baby,” you breathed, gasping as he thrust into you a little harder.

“Baby, please - fuck me, let go,” you cried.

It became fast and hard quickly, the desperation you shared impossible to mask. The slapping of his hips against yours was positively dirty, Steve’s arms caging you underneath him as he pounded into you. Your hand snaked down between you, your own finger finding your clit.

“That’s it, baby,” he groaned, continuing his relentless pace. “Touch yourself for me, just like that - M’not gonan last long, I’m sorry, you just feel too good -”

“It’s okay,” you assured, pressing a kiss to his lips. “I want you to lose it.”

He groaned, the room filling with the sound of slapping skin and moans, your names on each other’s lips.

Nothing else mattered, not when Steve was making you feel like this, not when he had flown across an ocean on a whim, a desperate hope to just see you again, even if only for a moment. You suddenly became so overwhelmed with love for this man, this person who had turned your world upside down - it was indescribable, impossible to even express. So you just held him tight, burying your face into his shoulder.

“M’close - I need you to come with me, baby - can you do that? I know you can, you’re always so good for me -”

You nodded, unable to formulate words anymore.

“I fuckin’ love you,” he cried, hips stuttering, his thrusts growing sloppier. “So much, I’m sorry I didn’t tell you - I love you, baby -”

His words sent you over the edge, white-hot pleasure surging through your body as you screamed his name. The feeling of you clamping around him sending him into his own orgasm. He spilled inside of you, your name on his lips like a prayer. He practically collapsed on top of you, the feeling of his heartbeat against yours feeling like home, like it was always meant to be this way.

Your breaths were labored, sweet kisses peppered across skin. Neither of you spoke for quite some time. After he rolled off of you, he immediately wrapped his arms around you, pulling you as close as physically possible.

He pressed a kiss to your forehead, slow and gentle. It was only when you pulled back, brushing some of his sweaty hair away from his face, that you broke the silence.

“I love you, too,” you murmured. You brushed your fingers along his face, and he caught your wrist, pressing kisses to your palm and knuckles, as if determined to worship you every chance he got.

“I want more than an arrangement,” he whispered. “I don’t want rules, or a deal, or -”

“Yeah, that was obvious,” you replied, chuckling. “And, me too.”

“And, you were right - you have school, and I never wanted you to think I just wanted you like a trophy or something - you have your own life, aspirations, and i know that - I just like spoiling you, but I never wanted you to give up who you are,” he said, face soft. “I need you to know that.”

“I do,” you murmured.

You really did.

“Besides, I graduated.”

He raised an eyebrow. “What? When?”

“Officially? A few days ago.”

He smiled, soft and sincere - part of you was worried he might cry again.

“Congratulations - I’ll have to take you out to celebrate.”

“Mm - sounds good to me. How long - when are you here until?”

There was still life to reckon with, after all - living on two different continents, jobs, obligations - the kind of thing that could ruin this. But, he just shook his head.

“I bought an open-ended ticket. So, until whenever you want.”

“I - what? What about work?”

He shrugged. “Turns out, when you run the place, you can get away with that stuff.”

Your jaw dropped.

“What? Are you serious?”

He nodded. “Brenner’s out. I’m in - youngest CEO in the company’s history.”

You laughed, pressing your palm to your forehead as you stared at the ceiling in disbelief.

“Steve - that’s amazing. But how -”

“Shhh - we’ll figure everything out later. But, let’s at least ring in the new year together, yeah?”

You nodded cautiously - he really was here, now, and wanted to make it work.

“Okay,” you said. “Sounds good.”

“Hey - you know what’s really pissing me off, though?”

“What?” you asked, wary as a pit of dread formed in your gut.

“I have to thank Eddie fucking Munson for fixing this.”

You laughed, a real, hearty laugh, and in that moment, you realized things were going to be okay.

******

That night, you slept better than you had in months, safe and warm in Steve’s arms. That was, until you woke to Robin’s scream the next morning, both of you shooting up in bed with a start.

“WHAT IS HE DOING IN YOUR BED?” she cried, shielding her eyes. “God - I wish I could bleach my eyes - motherfucker -”

Then, the door was slamming shut, Robin bemoaning her luck as she bolted down the hall to her own room.

You felt your face heat with embarrassment, sinking under the covers.

“Well - I guess I owe her an explanation -”

“Later,” Steve saidly, shaking his head incredulously. “For Christmas, I’m getting you a fucking industrial lock for that door!”

Then you were laughing, blissful and unable to control yourself, Steve joining you. He kissed the giggles away, pulling your body to his, and not much talking happened after that.

It didn’t matter what real life held after this - because Steve was here, and he was yours. Wherever you ended up, you realized, if you were with Steve, you would be home.

He was here to stay.

author's note: Hi y'all - thanks for your patience! This story isn't quite done - there will be an epilogue posted tomorrow. But, that's essentially the conclusion of don't call me 'baby' - I told you it would be a happy ending! Shoutout to @is-writing for some help with this. And of course as always, Em, without whom this fic wouldn't have happened. Comments, reblogs, and messages are always welcome - keep an eye out for the epilogue!

#steve harrington #steve harrington/reader smut #steve harrington/you #steve harrington x y/n #steve harrington x reader fluff #steve harrington x reader smut #steve harrington smut #steve harrington/reader angst #steve harrington/fem!reader #steve harrington fanfiction #steve harrington fanfic #steve harrington fluff #steve harrington imagine #steve harrington x you #steve harrington blurb #steve harrington angst #steve harrington x reader #dcmb fic

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ereardon · 1 month

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Before I Knew [Jake Seresin x Reader] Chapter Nine

A Jake Seresin unexpected pregnancy fic

Overview: On your first night after moving to San Diego to spend more time with your brother Bob, you unknowingly have a one night stand with his teammate Jake Seresin. For the first time in his whole life, Bob has a closely knit friend group and you’re desperate not to rock the boat. But an unexpected and unplanned pregnancy upends your world, forcing you and Jake closer together, against Bob’s wishes. What will happen when you find yourself actually falling for the father of your unborn child?

Pairing: Jake Seresin x Reader; Bob Floyd x Sister!Reader

Warnings: Pregnancy, cursing, eventual smut, angst

Chapter summary: Ducky and Bob have a heart-to-heart after his accident

WC: 1.7K

Masterlist here; previous chapter here

You were officially in your second trimester. Twelve weeks.

You stood in the mirror, holding your hands against your lower stomach. There was a definitive bulge. More than gas or constipation or a food baby.

A real baby.

“Y/N?” Jake’s voice floated through the apartment. “I’m home.”

“One sec,” you called out, pulling your loose shirt back down. You didn’t want him to see it. Even though the secret was out, you still felt like it was just for you to know it was there. In the kitchen, Jake set down a pizza and a bag of groceries.

“I got dinner.”

“I’m starving,” you replied, sitting down on a chair at the table and flinging the box open. “Hell yes.”

He chuckled, leaning back against the cabinets, green eyes watching you greedily as you pulled a cheesy slice out, savoring it on your tongue. “That baby is going to be thirty pounds and twenty of it is going to be cheese.”

“Shut up,” you replied between mouthfuls. “It’s your fault if they’re enormous. Isn’t that the man’s genes or something?”

“I see you’re reading the pregnancy books.”

You rolled your eyes. “Like you are.”

“Actually, I am.” You looked up, squinting. Jake shrugged. “What? Not much to do during training when we’re waiting for a group to do their test flight.”

“So you’re telling me Mr. Pilot sits around and reads What To Expect When You’re Expecting between top secret dangerous missions?”

Jake took a seat across the table and yanked on a slice of pizza. “Pretty much.”

“You’re not what I expected,” you replied sincerely.

His eyes landed on yours. “You’re better than I expected.”

A silence enveloped the room. “Jake—”

Your cell phone buzzed on the table.

“Hello?” You listened intently for a moment, eyes widening. Jake’s gaze never left yours. “Thank you,” you whispered, pulling the phone away.

“What is it?” he asked. “Y/N? Is everything OK?”

“It’s Bob,” you murmured. “He’s awake.”

***

Anxiety — heavy and damp — sat in your chest, curled around your stomach, clenching your insides. You took a deep, quivering breath, and pushed the door open.

Bobby looked up, squinting from behind his large frames. He looked thinner, the effects of being in a coma for almost five days.

Quietly, you stepped closer. “Hi.”

“Hi Ducky.”

You choked back a sob. “How are you?”

“Terrible,” he replied and you frowned, looking over at the monitors. But nothing was beeping or going insane. Nothing felt out of the ordinary. Bob shook his head. “I’m fine, honey. I just messed up.”

“Phoenix said there was nothing that could have been done differently. That there wasn’t even time to think.”

He shook his head and grimaced. “Not about that. I don’t care about that. I messed up with you. With us.”

“Oh.” Your voice trembled. “Bobby, I—”

“I love you, Ducky,” he said and you felt a tear slip down your cheek. “And I fucked it all up. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”

“It’s OK.”

“It’s not,” Bob said. There was an exhaustion in his voice. “You needed me. And I did the opposite of what I should have. I spent my whole life trying to be a good brother. And the second you really, truly needed me, I pushed you away.”

“You were mad at me,” you whispered. “I messed up everything you did to get me where I was supposed to go. I get it.”

Bob shook his head. “It’s not my job to tell you what to do with your life, Y/N.”

“You’re just realizing that?”

He smiled softly. “I’m a little behind.” Bob paused. “Will you forgive me?”

“Always.”

Bob reached out a hand and you took it. How many times had you held Bob’s hand in yours? You could count very few times when you were the one taking care of him. You reached down and pulled the hem of your shirt up, exposing your bare stomach. Bob’s eyes went wide as you pressed his flat palm against your warm skin. He could feel the raised curve of your expanding belly.

“Promise me something, Bobby,” you whispered. He nodded. “You don’t leave us again.”

Tears flooded his eyes and you pressed down against his hand, the two of you covering the bump with your intertwined fingertips as he sobbed. After a moment, you leaned forward, wrapping your arms around his neck, holding him close. Bob’s fingers gripped you, hard, holding you so tight you thought he might never let you go. “I promise, Ducky,” he whispered into your ear. “I love you.”

“I love you, too, Bobby.”

***

You had an armful of books, leaning against the front door trying to undo the lock when it swung open unexpectedly and you tumbled inside. A pair of warm arms caught you midair. “Woah!”

Jake pushed you to an upright position, one of his hands resting on your low back, the other pressed against your arm. “What are you doing carrying all of those?” he demanded, taking the books out of your hands and putting them down on the table.

You rolled your eyes. “I work at a library, Jake. Don’t you think I carry around books all day?”

“Guess I never thought about it,” he said. “But I don’t like it.”

“You don’t have to pretend to be worried about me,” you huffed.

“Who said I’m pretending?”

The air in the room froze. You looked up at Jake. He had obviously gotten home only minutes before you because he was still wearing his flight suit, hair tousled and sweaty, some pieces matted to his forehead. It was unfair how good he looked when you were wearing practically a potato sack, the only thing that didn’t tug against your expanding stomach. You shook your head and put your tote bag down on the ground, whirling around to face him. “I think there’s some stuff we didn’t talk about when we moved in because of everything that was going on. So maybe we need to have that conversation.”

Jake nodded and you two took a seat on the couch. God, the cushions felt good against your screaming back. How the hell you were going to do six more months of this you weren’t sure. “Alright, darlin’, I’m listening.”

“That,” you said, raising a finger and he frowned. “Cute pet names.”

“I can’t call you pet names?”

“We’re roommates, Jake. Nothing more.”

“You’re carrying my child.” His voice tipped as he said that last word. “You’re more than a roommate and we both know it.”

“I’m just a girl who lives in the guest room,” you whispered.

“Is that what you want?”

You nodded. “I want you to live your life like you would normally. Date, even.”

He raised an eyebrow. “You want me to date?”

“Sure.”

Jake squinted. “Are you going to date?”

“Nobody wants me,” you replied and his face fell. “A pregnant twenty-three-year-old? Yeah, no, not the hottest commodity on the market.”

“But if someone asked you?”

You shrugged. “I don’t know. Maybe.”

Jake’s green eyes, normally so luminous, darkened. He nodded tightly. “Got it.”

“You should feel free to date whoever you want,” you replied. “Phoenix, maybe.”

“Nat? Seriously?”

“Don’t act like you haven’t been there done that.”

His eyebrows shot up. “She told you?”

“Yup. Really get around, don’t you?”

“Could say the same about you.” He looked up as the realization of what he had said crossed his mind. For a moment, the room was silent. Then you laughed, and so did Jake.

“Fuck you,” you said, chuckling. “You’re a dick.”

“It’s my unique draw.”

“Well your pregnant roommate isn’t going to be much of a chick magnet,” you replied, standing up. “So I would go to the girl’s house, if given the option. I’ll do the same.”

“Are you really going to fuck random guys?” Jake asked as you made your way toward the hallway and bedroom.

You turned. “I fucked you, didn’t I?”

***

“Be careful you idiot!”

Bob shot you a dirty look. “Aren’t moms supposed to be nice?”

“Not a mom yet,” you replied, hands resting on your stomach for a moment before you slapped a hot cheeto out of his hand. “Doctor said whole foods.”

He groaned. “Can I have Hangman stay with me instead? He might actually be a better alternative.”

“You’re stuck with me for another day,” you said, leaning back onto the couch. Bob sat in a reclining chair across from you.

“Ducky?”

“Yeah?”

“You scared?”

“Terrified.”

“I don’t know what’s crazier. That my little sister is going to be someone’s mom. Or that I’m going to be Uncle Bobby.”

“Uncle Bobby,” you repeated. It sounded strangely familiar on your tongue. “It fits though.”

“So you’re not mad at me?” he asked.

You frowned. “Think this was the longest I’ve ever stayed mad at you in my life. Except maybe the time you donated my pony collection.”

“I couldn’t have a horse girl for a sister,” he replied. “Besides, you were fifteen.”

“Was not!”

“Yes you were, because it was the same year I punched Mike Turner for kissing you on the front porch.”

“God, that feels like ages ago.”

“You were just a kid,” Bob replied softly. “You’re still a kid to me.”

“I’m an adult, Bobby,” you whispered. “More adult than you.”

“Hey!”

“Why don’t you have a girlfriend?”

Bob blushed. “No time, Ducky.”

“I’ve heard stories from the team.” You raised your eyebrow. “Apparently you’re a hot commodity at the bar.”

“Don’t listen to anything Bradshaw says.”

“Jake said it, too.”

“Really don’t listen to anything Hangman says.”

“Are you happy, Bobby?”

He frowned. “Does being in a relationship automatically make you happy?”

“No,” you sighed. “But it’s better than being alone.”

“You’re not alone, Ducky,” Bob said quietly. “You have me. And Jake, unfortunately.”

You leaned back against the couch. “Yeah. I have you. And Jake.”

Please follow my library page @ereardonlibrary as that will largely serve as my tag list. Anyone I previous promised to tag is here:

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vioartemis · 1 year

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I love her so much... (part 2 [au])

(Jenna Ortega x fem! reader)

Summary: What if Jenna had followed you that night, and tried to hold you back? Part 1 || Part 2 || Part 2 [au] Warnings: angst (just a little bit I swear) (English isn't my first language, I'm sorry if there are mistakes or if something doesn't make sense TvT)

Emma waited until your sobs stopped to take a step back and lead you to her car. Your eyes were red and puffy from crying that much.

"Where are we going...?"

"To my apartment. I'm not letting you alone after this"

"Y/n, wait...!"

Jenna's voice made you freeze just as you were about to get in Emma's car. You turned around slowly, trying to hold back your tears.

"I'm sorry...! I'm so sorry, for everything! I love you more than anything...I'm sorry I've been neglecting you lately... work had been overwhelming for everyone, and Percy asked me to help him- I'm not trying to find myself excuses...! I- I should have talked to you about it instead of keeping it all to myself... I'm sorry Y/n..."

She seemed genuinely sorry. You wanted to give ger a second chance, you really did. But the little voice in your head was telling you that she might hurt you again.

Taking your silence as a negative reaction, she started to walk away. Your heart ached at the sight, and you found yourself taking a step forward, almost instinctively.

"Go." Emma told you "Follow her"

You look at your friend and nodded.

"Thank you. For everything" you said with a grateful smile, before running after the brunette

"Jenna!"

She froze, not certain she really heard you call her, and turned around hesitantly, eyes full of hope when you stopped in front of her.

"I... I don't want it to stop... us, I mean"

"Are you.... are you giving me a second chance...? Y-you still love me, even after what I did...?"

"Of course I still love you..." you reassured her "Now let's go home, hm...?"

"Wait I- here..." she started, handing you the box you gave her earlier "I don't deserve it..."

"Jenna-"

"No, Y/n... I- I've been such a bad girlfriend, I don't deserve any gift... But I promise I'll get better, to be worth your love..."

You stayed silent for a second, before nodding and taking the box. Your fingers brushed over hers.

"We can go now" she said quietly

You nodded again, and you both walked back to your shared apartment.

Once you got there, you got ready to go to bed. You had put on your pajamas, and slipped under the covers, soon followed by Jenna. She stayed on her side of the bed, not sure you would want her close.

That caused your lips to curl up slightly, touched by her thoughtfulness, and you moved closer to her, snuggling in her arms. It was the first time in weeks that you really slept together, in each other's arms.

It had been so long that you melted in her embrace. Her arms felt so nice around you, her perfume invading your nostrils felt so right, and so did her whole body pressed against yours.

It didn't take you long to fall asleep, a smile on your face.

At the sight of your sleeping figure, Jenna felt a wave of relief wash over her; she was afraid she'd never get to see you like that again.

"I missed you, I'm sorry..." she whispered, placing a soft kiss on your forehead "I love you..."

<><><><> ♡ <><><><>

A few months had passed since that night, and everything was back to normal. Your relationship with Jenna was doing better; she was here - as much as her job allowed her - and she was doing her best to show you how much she loved you, how much she cared for you.

Tonight, you were supposed to have dinner together at 8. It was now 11, and she was still not here. You had texted her, called her, but didn't get any answer.

Your stomach flipped at the thought of things turning out like it did months ago. You couldn't do it again.

You decided to wait for her, determined to talk to her, and when she finally arrived - around 1am - you sat up in your shared bed. You waited for her to enter the room; she seemed surprised to see you were still awake.

"I thought we would spend the night together..." you said "What happened?"

"... Nothing" she replied, shaking her head

"No, it's not nothing. I called you, I texted you... you're doing it again, Jenna..."

The look in your eyes made her realize she fucked up again. Her worst fear was becoming real, again.

"I- it's just..." she sighed "I'm a bit overwhelmed... with work, with the responsibilities, with Percy..."

At the sight of tears forming in her eyes, you took her hand in yours.

"I'm here for you, you can vent if you need to..." you gave her hand a reassuring squeeze

"It's just... there always are unexpected problems at work, we're under a lot of pressure lately, more than usually... and I need to come up with important things for next week, and I still don't have anything... and Percy's always asking me for help for stupid things...! And even if I want to say no, he always manages to convince me, and I don't even notice it! I'm so tired, Y/n..."

You pulled her in for a warm, comforting hug, rubbing her back gently.

"It's gonna be okay... I'm here, I'll do my best to help you with that... You should have talked to me about it..."

"I'm sorry I- I didn't want to bother you with that..."

"You never bother me Jenna, I-"

You got cut off by your girlfriend's phone suddenly buzzing. She gave you an apologetic look as she picked up.

"Hello? ... ... What? No listen Percy, I- ... ..."

She looked up at you, biting her nails nervously. The concern in your eyes, as well as the warmth of your hand on hers, and your love for her gave her the courage she needed.

"No, stop. I'm not available right now. ... ... It's 1 in the morning, Percy. I'm not at your disposal, nor your personal helper. ... ... Find someone else to help you. Bye."

She hung up with a sigh, and when her gaze met yours again, your eyes were full of pride, love, and relief. You were proud she was able to stand up for herself, to stop getting 'controlled' by him. And you didn't miss the opportunity to let her know that.

"I'm sorry I wasn't able to do it sooner... I- I'm sorry I almost fucked everything up between us because of that... But I won't make the mistake again. From now on, I'll try not to keep everything for myself. I- I don't want to lose you. I don't see my life without you..."

You felt you heart flutter at her words. Hearing her say that made you so happy... so happy, and so relieved.

The few doubts that had popped in your head earlier had completely disappeared now. You were sure you could trust her not to hurt you anymore.

You reached in your bedside table for the box you had given her on your anniversary and handed it to her again. She gave you a questioning look, visibly confused.

"When you gave it back to me, you said you didn't deserve it. Well, I think you deserve it now" you said gently, as she took the box "I've been wanting to give it to you for a little while, actually..."

Her eyes were shining when she looked at you after opening the box, and she had a big smile on her face.

"Do you like it?"

"I love it! I- it's so beautiful...!" she threw her arms around your neck and pulled you in for a tight hug "Thank you... Thank you so much!" she pulled away to give you a sweet smile "Can you help me putting it on?"

"Of course!"

You carefully took the necklace out of the box and waited for her to turn around, before moving her hair to the side. You were quick to attach the jewelry around her neck, and placed a gentle kiss on her soft skin once you were finished.

"Here you go, my love"

<><><><> ♡ <><><><>

Almost a year and a half later, you found yourself in a quite familiar position: crying in Emma's arms.

"It's okay... just- try to breathe, please"

"I- I'm just... I'm so..."

"I know, I know. Everything's gonna be okay"

You pulled away at her words, taking a deep breath and wiping your tears carefully.

"Yeah, you're right... Everything's gonna be perfectly fine"

"That's what I want to hear!"

Suddenly, the door of the room opened, revealing a nervous Hunter.

"What are you doing?" he yelled-whispered "We're waiting for you...!"

"She's ready, don't panic!" Emma replied, before turning to you "Just breathe, and it will be fine, okay?"

You nodded, and she gave you a brief hug, before exiting the room to join the others, leaving you with Hunter.

"Are you ready?" he asked gently, offering you his arm

"Y-yeah, I think..."

You both made your way to the main room and waited behind the door. When the music started, you took a deep breath.

All eyes were on you walking down the aisle, arm hooked under Hunter's. Yours, however, were glued to the gorgeous brunette ahead of you: your soon to be wife, Jenna Ortega.

[Previous part] || [Other ending]

#jenna ortega #jenna ortega x reader #jenna ortega x fem reader

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thetriumphantpanda · 11 months

Text

Ghost of You | J. Miller (Chapter Six)

Series Summary / Grief is a strange thing. In the beginning it had been all-consuming. There wasn’t a moment of the day where you didn’t cry, didn’t ask yourself why it couldn’t have been you instead. And no-one ever explains the guilt you feel when it isn’t anymore. When it’s just a dull ache and you can finally breathe again, when you can start letting people get close to you again. People like Joel Miller.

Pairing / Joel Miller x Widow F!Reader

Word Count / 3.3k

Warnings / Not much to warn you of here apart from some pining, discussions of therapy sessions, a graveyard but that's about it.

Authors Note / We're moving slowly but surely where these two need to be. I hope the slow burn isn't putting too many of you off but I promise within the next few chapters we're going to get to the meat of the story. If you enjoyed this then please consider reblogging, commenting or popping into my ask box with your thoughts and feelings! I love you all and thank you for continuing to support me.

Series Masterlist | Main Masterlist

You were back in Belinda’s office. There was something about sitting there today that brought you back to the very first time you’d sat down with her. Afraid to unpack everything, sitting on the verge of tears, sobbing at the first mention of Mark’s name. It didn’t feel much different this time, tissue clasped in your hand as usual, but you didn’t think it would be Mark’s name that made you cry, you were sure it would be Joel’s.

“You seem a little distracted today.” Belinda points out, pulling your attention from staring out the window, “Anything particular on your mind you’d like to talk about?”

You let out a sign and your shoulders slump, “I think I’m confused.”

“About what?” Belinda asks.

Another sigh, another slump of your shoulders so you’re practically leaning over your knees to avoid looking at her, “Something happened,” You mumble, “With Tommy’s brother.”

“Joel?”

You nod, “He’s a friend, he’s really helped me these past few weeks, this weekend I had them all over, Tommy, Maria, Joel and Ellie and it was such a lovely day, the first time I’d felt genuinely happy in a long time.”

“Then something happened?” She presses.

You lean back, looking at her this time, she’d always told you that in order to have difficult conversations you had to face them head on, “Everyone left apart from Joel, we’d been drinking quite a lot and I asked him about his experience with grief, which was fine, but as he was leaving we kissed,” God you felt like a teenager again, explaining to your best friend how your crush had kissed you before class, “And now I’m confused Belinda, and I don’t know what to do.”

She nods in understanding, “Did you want him to kiss you?” She asks.

“I don’t know?” You shrug, “I guess I did; I think I’ve been ignoring the fact for a while that I like that he’s looked after me and that he’s one of the most beautiful people I’ve ever seen, it’s not that I didn’t want it, it’s that when I closed my eyes, all I could see and think about was Mark.”

“You know, this is entirely normal and understandable,” She’s trying to make you feel better, even if she is the professional, “When we lose someone, especially someone we know romantically, it’s hard not to compare the two people to each other, but that doesn’t mean it’s not something you shouldn’t pursue if you want it,” She notes something down on her notepad, “You do want this, with Joel?”

“I don’t know,” You groan, throwing your face into your hands, “When we were talking outside before all of this, I told Joel that I almost wished Mark had told me to move on before he died, gave me permission to be happy.”

“But you don’t need his permission,” She states blankly, “I’m going to speak very honestly with you now, I hope that’s okay?” You nod, giving her permission to go on, “Mark is gone, I know that’s painful, but we don’t know what, if anything, exists after this life, and if you continue to think of what Mark would want you to do for anything then you’re never going to be happy.”

It was inevitable but this is the moment you start crying. Up until now you think you’d convinced yourself that it might all be a bad dream, that you’ll wake up one morning and he’ll still be there, he’ll make the coffee and you’ll sit together, and everything will be fine. But Belinda is right. He is gone. Has been gone for over a year and he’s not coming back. You dab at your eyes with the tissue.

“I think Joel makes you happy, am I right?” You nod, “Well then, don’t fight it,” She sighs herself, putting down her pen, “I’m not saying run off and get married, or sleep in the same bed, but if he makes you happy then let him do that, I think you might surprise yourself with what happens.”

“But what about what everyone else thinks?”

“Do you want me to answer that as your therapist or your friend?”

“Both?” You shrug.

“As your therapist, we already talked about this, unless it’s Tommy or Maria or anyone else you’re close to, it doesn’t matter what everyone else thinks,” She pauses and a smirk falls across her lips, “As your friend? Fuck them.”

You laugh through your tears, blowing your nose into the tissue before balling it into your fist, “Listen, I’m not telling you to rush things, just speak to him, be honest about what’s happening in your head, and if he’s half the man you’ve made him out to be then he’ll understand, and he’ll wait for you.”

You stand up to leave, “You know, he already told me he would.”

She’s got her hand on the small of your back to lead you out to the front door, “Well, there you go,” You open the front door to leave when Belinda adds, “Go get your man.”

It’s late afternoon and you’re sat on the back porch soaking up the last of the sun. Finished coffee mug on the table, you’re absentmindedly running your fingers along the table.

“Oh thank God!”

You think your heart stops of a second as you let out a scream and turn to the back door, it’s Maria.

“Fucking hell Maria, a little warning would be nice!” You exclaim, clutching your chest to try and regulate your pulse back to someone who isn’t about to die of a heart attack.

“Sorry, but I was knocking on the door for ages, I didn’t know where you’d gone!”

Maria takes a seat next to you and your heart fills with guilt at the fact that you’d worried her, “I’m sorry, guess I was just in my own little world out here,” You speak, “Shouldn’t you be at the council meeting?”

“Finished early,” She shrugs, “Thought I’d pop by and see you.”

“Coffee?” You ask, pointing to your empty mug.

“I’m okay, I think I had three to get me through that meeting, anymore and I’ll be climbing the walls.”

There’s a moment of quiet between the two of you before Maria speaks again, “So, what’s on your mind then?”

You run a hand over your face, “My therapy session with Belinda has thrown up more questions than answers and I don’t really know where to start.”

“Well, two heads are better than one.” Maria coaxed.

You groan, “You cannot say anything to anyone, not even Tommy, okay?”

“Cross my heart.” She smiles, doing the motion of a cross over her chest.

You take a deep breath, “I kissed Joel.”

“Sorry, say that again?”

“I kissed Joel.” You say again, louder this time.

“I thought that’s what you said but I just needed to be sure,” She’s got the same smirk on her face that she had in the market a few weeks ago when Joel had first appeared, “And what’s the problem?”

“Maria, you know damn well what the problem is!” You snapped.

“There could be lots of problems, honey,” She soothes, “Did he kiss you without permission? That’s a problem. Was he a bad kisser? That’s also a problem. I’m going to need to know the exact problem you have in order to help you.”

“For crying out loud,” You grumble in frustration, “Neither of those are the problem, the problem is that I wanted it. I wanted it so bad Maria, and then as soon as I closed my eyes it was Mark, I was thinking about Mark.”

“Honey, of course you did, Joel is the first person you’ve looked at since he died, of course you’re going to be thinking about him, but that doesn’t mean it’s the end of the world.”

“But he deserves so much more than a woman who only sees her dead husband when she kisses him.”

Maria reaches out and gives your forearm a hard squeeze, “So do you honey, and the only way that’s going to happen is to keep trying,” Her voice is low and its sweet and you’re so overwhelmed that you start crying again, “He’s a good man, let him learn to love you darling girl.”

You lean your head back against the chair and look up into the clear sky above you, rubbing at your eyes to try and dispel the tears from falling anymore. You were tired. Sick and tired of this always being the go-to when things got hard or complicated.

“Maybe you should go and talk to him?” Maria suggests softly.

“Joel?” You asked, leaning your head to look at her.

“Well, yes, eventually, but I meant Mark,” She nods her head to the sweet peas on the wall, “Why don’t you take him some flowers and talk to him about everything?”

You had to admit that you couldn’t remember the last time you’d spent time at his grave. Up until now it had been more painful to imagine him, buried under the earth, rotting away, than it was to go and see him. Maybe this is what you needed though. He was always the person you’d go to with your problems, and although this was a different problem altogether, maybe he could still help. Maybe, in your wishful thinking, he could send you some sort of sigh from beyond the grave. The permission you needed to truly let yourself be happy again.

You nod, “Maybe I will.”

Maria smiles and stands, “I should really be getting back home, there’s mountains of documents for me to pour over, but you know where we are if you need us.”

Joel was vaguely aware that Tommy was talking to him. He could hear the usual southern drone of his accent, but he couldn’t hear a word he was actually saying.

“Are you even listening?!” Tommy pauses, breaking Joel away from his thoughts.

“Course I am.”

“Fuckin’ liar Joel, you’ve had your head up in the clouds since we started out this mornin’.”

“Yeah well, I just gotta lot to think about right now.”

“Enlighten me then, what do you have going through your mind right now that means you’re away in cloud cuckoo land?”

“You know you can be really irritating sometimes?”

Tommy grins at him as they continue their patrol together. It’s the easy route this afternoon which Joel is glad for, his knees are really starting to feel their age now and he doesn’t think that regular patrols on the hills would be a good idea anymore, “I’m your little brother, I’m supposed to be irritating.”

“You gotta swear to me you won’t breathe a word of this to anyone else, you understand?”

Tommy is looking at him expectedly, slowing his walking pace down so he can look at his brother. Joel almost wishes he would walk ahead of him, so he doesn’t have to look at his face when he admits what he’s done, but talking with Tommy about this stuff has never been easy.

“I kissed her.” Joel states simply, not wanting to beat around the bush.

Tommy stops dead in his tracks; Joel decides to keep walking. He can’t deal with the shit-eating grin he knows will be plastered on his brother’s face. He can already hear the ‘you told me it wasn’t a date’ comment.

“The longer you stand still, the later we’ll be for dinner,” Joel calls over his shoulder, “I’m not going to be happy with another meager plate of leftovers.”

He can hear Tommy’s boots hitting the ground behind him and then he’s being clapped on the back, “I didn’t think you had game anymore, big brother.”

“Would you knock it off?!” Joel exclaims, “It’s nothing to do with game, it was a stupid mistake.”

“Cut the shit Joel,” Tommy scoffed, “Everyone saw how you were lookin’ at her over that fire the other night, whatever it was, it wasn’t a mistake.”

“Yeah, well you weren’t there, alright?” Joel is regretting bringing this up altogether now, “Maybe I don’t mean that it was a mistake, lord knows I’ve wanted to for a while now, but fuck, the way she looked at me after, it broke my heart, Tommy.”

“So, she regretted it, not the first time a girl’s come to her senses with you.”

That earns him a swift slap to the arm, “All she said was that she couldn’t, not right now anyway.”

“Well then, I don’t know what the issue is?” Tommy shrugs.

Joel sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose, it’s reminiscent of all the time’s Tommy had called Joel from jail to bail him out all those years ago, “The issue is Tommy, that I can’t be around her then, there’s something inside of me that just wants to do whatever I can to make all her pain go away, and the only way I want to do that is to kiss her, but I don’t just want to slot in where her husband left, that ain’t right.”

Tommy is quiet for a while as they continue walking, he, like Joel, is surveying the land, but like always, it seems quiet. No signs of infected, no signs of raiding parties. They reach the end of the patrol hike and Tommy sits against a tree, taking out his hip flask to take a sip before he hands it to Joel, who gladly takes a drink before handing it back.

“You know, you’re nothing like him.” Tommy says quietly.

“Like who?”

“Fuckin’ hell, your memory can’t be that bad,” Tommy takes another drink, “You’re nothing like Mark.”

Joel doesn’t want to pry, because then it might seem like he’s fishing for compliments in some weird way, but it’s alright because Tommy has never really been able to keep his opinions to himself.

“Don’t get me wrong, he was a good man, but physically? Completely different.” He passes Joel the flask again, “He was blonde, couldn’t grow a beard if his life depended on it, and let’s not forget younger than you, he was so small and slight, and completely hopeless with anything around the house.”

Joel’s ears prick, “But she told me when I fixed her step that he always handled that kinda stuff?”

“That’s because I did all the fixin’ and let him pass it off as his own,” Tommy shrugs, “Don’t ask me why, I guess I can see why she’s gotten under your skin, she’s the sweetest girl I’ve ever met, one of the only girls I would protect with my life, outside Maria and Ellie now.”

“Does that mean that back porch was all your work?”

“Course it was Joel,” Tommy chuckles, “He was a lovely man, nice as pie, could never do anything wrong to anyone, we all loved him, loved them together, but brother I can guarantee that there’s no way you’re just going to slot into his place, because you’re nothing alike.”

“I don’t think that’s really what I’m worried about, I just don’t want anyone to think that I think the only way to help her is to take her to bed.”

“You’ve been her friend first Joel,” Tommy reassures as he stands up to make the walk back to Jackson, “This is how things happen these days, you meet someone nice, do nice things for them and if things are meant to be, they’ll be.”

“When the hell did you get so wise?” Joel chuckles.

“Just focus on the fact that all she said was not right now,” Joel nods in agreement at Tommy’s words, “And maybe, stop acting like you’re fifteen again and just open your mouth and talk to her, you’ll never know what she really means, or feels, if you don’t.”

The sky has decided to match your mood suddenly. Gone are the bright blue skies and the sun, replaced with grey clouds that you think threaten to burst open and soak you any moment. It would be a mercy if they did, it would give you an excuse to leave and go home. It’s like the weather knows that you want to turn and run - it’s why it’s holding off on the rain.

You’re stood in front of Mark’s gravestone and it kind of feels like you’re having a strange out of body experience. You shake your head and remember the fistful of sweet peas in your hand, cut especially for him. When you look down at them, all you can really hear is that fucking southern drawl that Joel has saying that nickname. You curse him, because even now he’s front and center in your mind.

You set the flowers down on the earth in front of the gravestone before settling yourself down on the ground with your knees pulled up to your chest. Where do you even start?

“I’m sorry,” Seems a good a place as any, “I’m sorry I’ve not visited recently.”

It’s like you’re expecting a voice to respond back, a lump appears in your throat when you realise he’s not going to answer you, “It’s been really hard recently,” You continue speaking, eyes on the gravestone, “I’m trying to get back into life here, I mean, I’m sure if you’re out there somewhere you’ll know, I’ve started going back to work, and I can finally leave the house without Maria.”

A lone tears drips down your cheek, which you brush away, “I’ve even made new friends, there’s this new guy here called Joel and his daughter, Ellie, well, he treats her like a daughter, but he lost his first daughter on outbreak day,” You’re rambling, even to his gravestone, you’re rambling, “Anyway, that’s not important.”

You’re quiet for a moment because you really don’t know what to say, “I wish I didn’t miss you so much, Mark,” You sniff, “It would make this so much easier, but I think Joel might become more than my friend, I don’t even know how it’s happened Mark and I’m so sorry, I don’t feel like I’ve mourned you for long enough, but he’s a good man, he’s kind and God you’re so different from each other, but I think he might be good for me.”

There’s such a relief in admitting this to yourself more than anything, that Joel might be good for you. You’ve always been different around him, whether you wanted to accept it all not. He could effortlessly pull smiles from you, make you laugh, make you cry when he was kind to you, he’d pushed you in ways you really needed.

“I think I know you’d want me to be happy Mark,” You sniffle through tears, “But God, if you’re there, give me a sign, just give me something, I’m begging you,” You rub at your face, “Please?”

You don’t really understand what it was you were looking for. Before all this, your friends had told you that their loved ones came back as something to signal they were still around. You remember Jessica from your high school math class mentioning her grandfather came back to visit them as a bumblebee because he liked gardening. Your parents hadn’t reappeared as anything, you hadn’t noticed an abundance of anything that might signify that they were looking out for you, and this was no different. There was nothing, no birds singing in a tree that you could convince yourself was Mark.

You drop your head into your knees and resign yourself to the feeling of emptiness when there’s a warmth on your back. You lift your head and turn around. The sun is breaking through the clouds behind you and when you look around, the sun is beaming directly onto you and Mark’s gravestone. A sob leaves your lungs and the biggest feeling of relief washes over you. Maybe it was the biggest coincidence you’ve ever known, but by God you’re going to take it. The sign you’d begged for. The sign that you knew you didn’t really need. The sign that Mark would want you to be happy, and if it’s Joel that did that, then so be it.

You rise to your knees and put a hand on the top of the gravestone, lightly pressing your lips to it, “Thank you.” Is all you whisper before you’re gone.

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Joel Miller Taglist - @winwin70@jessie8605@trulybetty@amanitacowboy@morning-star-joy@tieronecrush@leeeesahhh@babeincolor@beee-haw@kirsteng42@mirandablue1@sixxslut@impala1967dwinchester@flash2412@gimmebackmysoul@kelp-dreaming@gracie7209@voteforpedro09@brittmb115@karokaroxx@amb11@heartfairy @grumpy-the-tired @Lillilotus @doctorstatic@morallyinept@southernbe@elissaa@pop-sugar102@u-luciferssatanicdaughter@alyhull@purplerain44@harryleatherfit@lovely-ateez@emilianamason @bootyliciousposts @lorilane33@casa-boiardi @cupofjoel @dinsdjrn @tightjeansjavi @cavillscurls

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trashcanplant · 2 months

Text

Compartmentalizing

Frank Frankly was never one to have anything out of order. He always had a place for everything, and everything had a place. A special box for their bow ties, and even those had dividers to tell what activity it was for.

So he was rather confused when Eddie Dear showed up at their door when they hadn’t scheduled a time for tea or crafts. Frank’s eyes went wide for a moment upon seeing Eddie.

“Why, hello Mr. Dear. What can I help you with today?” They asked in an almost surprised tone, crossing their arms. His fingers gently fiddled with the bow tie. Today’s pattern was gingham. That meant Frank intended to read today.

“Howdy there, Mr. Frankly- I uh, don’t have any postage for ya today, but I would like ta talk… if that’s okay with you.” Eddie stumbled over his words. He seemed anxious. His hair didn’t have that familiar sheen of glue, and a few hairs were even it of place. This was unlike the mailman. Frank looked around, making sure that Julie wasn’t outside, Home forbid Barnaby.

Frank grabbed Eddie by the arm and pulled him inside before quietly shutting the door. Even after the door was shut, their guard still wasn’t down. Frank looked at Eddie anxiously, now thrown off his rhythm.

“What’s the matter?” They asked quietly, pushing a strand of hair back into its place on their head. Eddie sighed, straightening his tie.

“Ya might need ta sit down for this.” Eddie said, making his way to one of the arm chairs Frank had in their home. The bookworm sat on the sofa, staring at Eddie cautiously.

“So, somethin’ happened last night-“

“Other than our visit?” Frank replied quickly with a smile. Eddie shook his head, flustered.

“Y-yeah.. I was sleepwalkin’, an outta the night came Wally knockin’ on the door talkin’ about how the sun was risin’ or something.. I don’t really remember. Last night was.. interesting. After, I mean.” Eddie explained, rushing through his words. Frank looked puzzled.

“What was Wally doing at the post office in the middle of the night?” They asked. Eddie sighed, twiddling his fingers as he looked away.

“He came to tell me happy birthday. But then he said that my birthday was last week. And that you had told him my birthday was last week. I just- I wanted to know why ya lied to him.” Eddie said carefully. He looked into Franks eyes. He was met with sadness.

“I didn’t lie about your birthday, Eddie. It really was last week. March 9th.” They explained slowly, standing up and taking their calendar off the wall. He showed Eddie the circled date. March 9th, Eddie Dear’s birthday.

Eddie looked at the calendar. His brain felt fuzzy. He racked his memories, trying hard to remember when his birthday was. Frank saw this and gently put a hand over his.

“I promise I’m not lying.” They said softly. Eddie looked up at Frank. His brows were furrowed, and his mouth was dry. He put his hand over his lips, holding his own cheeks as he tried to remember.

Nothing came to mind. He couldn’t even remember when his birthday was. Frank saw this on his face and sighed. He didn’t know what to do, so they took their calendar back and hung it on the wall.

Frank turned to look at Eddie. They studied his face, searching for anything. All he could find was tears. Frank approached him, carefully sitting down next to him.

“Can I comfort you?”

“Mhm.”

Frank wrapped their arms around Eddie and rest his head on his shoulder. Eddie leaned his own against Franks head. He sniffled, trying to keep his sobs quiet.

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry..” the mailman mumbled. Frank looked surprised, gently putting a hand on Eddie’s cheek.

“My Dear, why are you sorry?” They asked cautiously. Eddie sniffled, lip in a trembling pout.

“I can’t even remember my own birthday. I just- I don’t know why. I want ta- I want ta be better for ya on this..” He mumbled. Frank sighed, rubbing his finger across Eddie’s tear stained cheek.

“It’s okay.. it’s okay Eddie. We’ll work through this together. We’ll work on this.” They said sweetly.

He looked at their favorite mailman, gently giving him a kiss on the cheek.

“You’re going to get better.” Frank hummed. Eddie stopped crying, looking at Frank and laughing.

“Yer a good man, Frank. A real gentleman if ever I seen one.” He chuckled as he wiped his face of tears. The two spent the rest of the day together. Talking, laughing, and comforting each other based on their insecurities. Then, as the sun was beginning to set, Eddie went home.

He walked slowly, taking in the cool evening air. It felt comfortable on his skin, rushing over the hair on his arms and tickling his cheeks. Then he came to Home. He looked at it. They looked back. Their door creaked, chimney puffed, and shutters slammed.

“What did you do today?” He seemed to be asking. Eddie paused. He felt an urge. He approached their foundation, sitting in Wally’s garden and putting a hand on its brickwork.

“I went and saw Frank today. He said that he’s gonna help me remember things better.” Eddie explained. Something ached at the back of his throat. It crawled up his neck, feeling like hot breath against clammy skin. Eddie didn’t know why he felt like crying as he kneeled by Home.

Homes eyes shifted, gazing down at Eddie. From cracks in its foundation, spiders left. Eddie didn’t seem to notice how they were crawling across his skin. He was completely mesmerized by Home.

The spiders marched on his neck, up his cheek, and into his brain. Everything felt fuzzy. He fell back onto the grass, trying to scream by the spiders were weaving their webs in his throat. He was being suffocated. Eaten from the inside out, and all he could do was flail on the ground. Eddie was in a cold sweat, only snapping out of it when he heard Home’s door creak open and the gentle droning of Home’s most helpful neighbor.

“Hi, Eddie. Are you okay?” Wally asked casually. Eddie looked at his arms. They were arachnid free. He sat up, wiping his forehead of sweat.

“H-howdy there, Wally.. I was just uh-“

A groaning of Home’s floorboards and a slam of its door interrupted Eddie and told Wally something. The short neighbor laughed.

“Ha ha ha! Oh, Home. It was nice of you to play with Home a little bit, but it’s time for bed now. You should go home, Eddie.” Wally said politely. Eddie saw how Wally’s pupils dilated, and he chuckled awkwardly. He couldn’t stand all of the eyes on him. Even if it was just Home and Wally.

“Right.. I- I should get home.” Eddie Dear said, standing up. He looked at Wally as he went back inside, then looked down at his watch to check the time.

A spider crawled over the face of the watch, and Eddie shrieked and shook his hand. Home simply gazed forward, chimney puffing.

Wasn’t this going to be fun?

#welcome home #welcome home puppet show #eddie welcome home #eddie dear #wally welcome home #wally darling #wally #frank frankly #welcome home frank #frankly dear #arachnophobia #tw spiders #short story #planty stories #wh home

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eddies-whoreee · 1 year

Text

Traitor (1/2)

Summary: Eddie chose Chrissy over you. You couldn’t stand see them together so you left. In those 2 years you’ve been gone, he realized you are the love of his life and he made a huge mistake.

CW: angst, mean!eddie, bitchy!Chrissy, lots of crying, happy ending (eventually). BASED IN MODERN TIMES!!

Hawkins, July 2020

“What? Eddie I thought-” you say as tears fall down your face. “Look, I’m just not in the mindset to be in a relationship its me not you, okay?” He tells you. You shake your head, “w-why? What happened, w-was it something I did?” You question, tears now pour down your face as he just stared at you, no emotion what so ever. “I just told you, I just can’t be in a relationship.” He states more harshly, rolling his eyes. “It’s her, isn’t it. It’s Chrissy” you ask. “Oh my God, Y/n, please you’re being paranoid! My mental health is all fucked up and you think im cheating!?! Wow you’re really selfish” he snaps at you. “No! That’s not what I’m saying, Eddie I do care!” You speak. He holds the bridge of his nose and let’s out a frustrated sigh. “Just-please, we’re done okay? It’s over I can’t-” he says walking away. Leaving you, heart broken, crying, and mostly confused in your driveway.

2 weeks later

You were walking to lunch with your best friend Robin, who had been comforting you the past 2 weeks. That’s when you see it, “what the fuck” you mumble stopping in your tracks. Robin looks at you confused and follows your gaze. Her face drops, tears flood your eyes and you turn around storming off. She follows after you calling out for you. You guys get into the girls bathroom when you completely break down. “He said, they were just friends! He said I was paranoid” you sob into her hug. “I know babes I’m so sorry” she says rubbing your back soothingly. “I can’t believe him, I thought- I thought he loved me” you state. “He’s an asshat that lost the baddest bitch ever, not that you are a bitch. Chrissy’s a two faced cunt anyways it won’t last long” she tries to assure you. “That’s not the point! He told me that he wasn’t ready mentally for a relationship, and then suddenly two weeks later he’s in a relationship with the same girl he told me not to worry about” you tell her. “He such a slut!” You exclaim. “Totally slut” Robin agrees.

Hawkins, August 2020

Robin sat leaned on the side of your car as you loaded one of your boxes into your trunk. “Babes are you sure this is the best decision?” She asks worriedly. “I can’t stand to see them and I need a break from the Hawkins gossip. Its toxic, plus my aunt has been begging me to come down with her forever so..” you trail off. She nods, “I’m gonna miss you, like a lot. You’re the only person who doesn’t suck in this town” she says. “Hey! Okay that hurt!” Steve exclaims loading the last box into your trunk. “Thanks Steve” you tell him. He nods. “Okay even you suck sometimes Steve, and Y/n has been my bestie since kindergarten so… it’s different” Robin explains. He rolls his eyes playfully. You sigh closing the trunk. “Well, guys I guess this is it. All packed up and ready to go” you say. Robin nods tears filling her eyes. “Don’t cry, then I’m gonna cry” you state tears already starting to form. She gives you a hug tears spilling on your shirt, you didn’t care though. “Don’t forget about me please, I couldn’t handle it” she jokes. “Hell no, you always find away to invade my thoughts” you giggle. “Stevie? Why are you covering your face?” You asks concerned. “My eyes are sweating” he says. “Aww are you gonna miss me Stevie” you tease. “Something like that” he speaks. You give him a hug. “Your killing me smalls” he jokes returning your hug. As you pull away, steve quickly wipes his tears. “I love you guys, okay? I’ll be back one day. Okay this isn’t forever” you tell them. They nod, “okay farewell my fellow friends” you say then wave as you get in the car.

Hawkins, November 2022

You step out of the car, letting out a sigh of relief. For the first time in a longtime you were actually happy to be in Hawkins. You unlock the door to your moms house, it was completely pitch black. You tried to flip the light on but it wouldn’t turn on. “Surprise!!” Your friends shout as the lights turn on, you jump and let out a yelp. “Holy fucking shit!! What the fuck?!?” You giggle. “Welcome home!” Robin exclaims giving you a very aggressive hug. “Hey bestie” you tell her, she pulls back inspecting you. “Have you grown 6 feet? Did you get new hair?” She questions. “No just got over a breakup, you know I have my glow back” you state happily. She nods pulling you into another hug. “Hey Robin share the wealth we miss her too” Steve says, Robin sighs rolling her eyes and letting you go. “Hey kiddo” Steve says pulling you into a hug. “I’m the same age as you!” You tell him. “But your like 10 feet shorter than me so..” he states making you giggle. “I hate you” you joke. The door bell rings, Steve looks at the door confused. “Are we expecting someone?” He asks looking at the rest of the party. They all shake their head ‘no’. “I’ll get it. Be right back” he says patting your head as he walks to the door. Robin and Dustin lead you into the kitchen showing you the master meal they were preparing that was only minutes away from being done. “You need to go” Steve says angrily. “Just let me see her, it’s important” some one replies pleadingly. “As important as cheating on her with Chrissy and breaking her heart?” Steve states. There was a moment of silence. “That’s what I thought.. leave. Now.” Steve tells the person. Their conversations were muffled but you could make the words out. You walk from the kitchen to see who it was. You freeze in your steps, your heart raced and tears were working their way into your eyes. “Baby, Y/n, please just 2 minutes that all I need” he begs. “Eddie? How did you know I was back?” You ask trying to keep the tears from falling. “It’s a small town and that’s all Robin and Steve talk about, and I visit Family Video a lot” he says. “Look, just tell me you don’t want him here and he’s gone” Steve tells you. You fiddle with your fingers knowing you would probably regret this decision. “It’s fine. It’ll only be 2 minutes” you speak walking to the door. “Outside” you say walking out. Eddie nods shutting the door behind you. You take a seat on the porch swing. Eddie sits next to you. He tries to put a hand on your thigh, but you scoot away from his touch. “I made a horrible mistake. Like the biggest mistake ever. I love you, you’re the love of my life” he says. You scoff shaking your head, “I’ve heard that before” you tell him. “I know, I know, it’s just I’m an asshole okay?” He states. “I gathered that” you speak rolling your eyes. “So why do you want me back now? Did she break your heart, you figure out that being with her isn’t pure paradise? Let me guess she treated you like her puppet?” You question bitterly. He doesn’t say anything knowing you were right.

Hawkins, October 2020

“Ughh Eddie that isn’t the point you can’t go to the party dressed as the joker if I’m not Harley Quinn! You will be Bugs Bunny and you’ll have a smile on your face the whole time!” She spits at him. “Baby, I don’t want-” he’s cut off by her scoff. “It isn’t about what you want! I’m head cheerleader! Okay? Having you as a charity case is bad enough. I can’t have you ruining Halloween too” she states angrily. “Wow, so that’s what I am a fucking charity case” Eddie asks. “Well I’m not dating you because I love you and want to get married” she snickers fixing up her makeup. He scoffs shaking his head. “Well then have fun going to the party with Jason, because I’m done, with you, this bullshit, Y/n was right your a cold hearted bitch” Eddie snaps at her. She turns around and narrows her eyes at him. “You can’t break up with me 30 minutes before the damn party! Jason is going with Cynthia! I cant go alone!” She exclaims. “Too bad find another charity case, get out” Eddie tells her. “Wait I’m sorry I didn’t mean it Eddie, c’mon-” she tries to speak but Eddie cuts her off. “Nope leave! God you’re actually a horrible person” he says tears forming his eyes. But not from his and Chrissy’s break up but from the fact he knew he fucked up. He was always happy with you. You never made him feel less. “Whatever you will never find someone better than me!” She screams storming out. He sighs as he hears the door slam. He plops down on the bed and cries, he feels like a fucking child, an immature, stupid child.

Hawkins, May 2021

He walks into Family Video going to buy your favorite movie since it was your birthday and you always loved 10 Things I Hate About You. As he walks up from to the register putting the movie on the counter. “Hm, her favorite movie, doing some sulking from losing the best thing that ever happened to you?” Robin asks bitterly. “This isn’t very good costumer service” Eddie states. “You know if I wanted to which I really should I could refuse service to you, since I have the right to” she replies with a fake smile pointing to the sign. He rolls his eyes. “Can I just get the damn movie” he speaks frustratedly. “Sure that’ll be $13.99” she says. “What? the price says 8.99” he tells her. She snickers, “oh you get the douche fee.” He scoffs and hands her a 10 dollar bill. “Good one Buckley, how’s Vickie?” He smirks, “how’s Chrissy?” She snaps back. He tenses up. “Bye-bye loser” she states with a smile. “Fuck off” he mumbles grabbing the movie and walking out.

Hawkins, July 2021

He sat in his living room plopped down on the couch. This was about the 100th time he watch you favorite movie just in this month alone. As Wayne entered the house he sighed seeing the movie playing and his nephew snuggling up with one of your shirts. “Boy, this again?” He asks. Eddie jumps and pushes your shirt away. “What? No- I- just” he tries to lie but Wayne huffs. “It’s your fault, you broke that sweet girl’s heart. Now you’re getting a taste of your own medicine” he tells him bluntly. “I know Wayne, trust me I’ve been contemplating my whole life’s decisions since that day” Eddie replies annoyingly. “So why are you sulking” Wayne questions. “Because I love her! I fucked up, exactly a year ago today I made the worst mistake of my life. You should’ve seen how heart broken she was, god, every time I close my eyes all I see is her crying because I broke her heart.” Eddie exclaims tears flowing down his face. Wayne did hate to see his nephew sad, but this was his own fault. Wayne didn’t raise Eddie to be a heart breaker. He raised him to respect and treat women like queens and Eddie just screwed up, no way to sugar coat that. “I miss her Wayne” Eddie says. “Yeah, I do too son” Wayne sighs walking into the bathroom. Eddie lays back staring at the ceiling.

Hawkins, November 2022

“Eddie you really hurt me. I gave you everything, you were my first everything! And you just…hurt me” you tell him. He sighs wiping away the tear that poured down his face. “Look I’m not asking for you to take me back, or even forgive me. I just want you to give me another chance, I know I don’t deserve it. I don’t deserve you. You are too good for me, you loved me at my worst when everyone hated me you were there and I fucked up. I know it. Just let me make what I can up to you. I know I’ll never fully be able to win all the trust I used to have back but just let me make you feel how special you make me feel” he pleads. “Why did you do it?“ you question. “Because.. I thought people would look at me different if I was with her, I thought for once people would actually treat me like a decent human being instead of judging me for my last name. It’s not a good reason, no reason would be. But it’s the truth and I’m done lying to you” he says looking down at the ground. “Did you c-cheat?” You asks. “Hell no, I never cheated. No. I would never” he states looking at you. “But you talked to her while we were together? You wanted her while you were with me?” You question. “Yes, but I never stopped loving you, not for one second. I was just tired, of being labeled the freak, Jason and his mouth breathing clan fucking with me. People looking down on me. But I thought that if I had the head cheerleader on my side, that would change everything. What I did was completely selfish. And I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.” He apologizes, holding your hand. “Times up Munson” Steve says as he walks out the door. You stand up wiping your tears away. Eddie sighs and nods standing up. He goes in for a hug but you back up. You hold out your fist for a bump. He bumps your fist. “I love you, bye” he says walking to his car. You watch him and huff. “Love you too” you mumble and walk in the house.

THERE WILL BE A PART 2!! THE FINAL PART HAPPEY ENDINGS ARE TO COME!! SHOULD I END WITH SOME SMUT OR NO?? I can’t decide!!

#eddie munson #eddie munson stranger things #eddie munson fics #eddie x reader #traitor fic #eddie munson angst

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nicohischierz · 1 year

Text

the great war: nico hischier

tani speaks: this is loosely based off of taylor swifts song ‘the great war’ and also i couldn’t help myself and finished this before my exam

you looked over at dawson, guilt all over his face.

the one person you thought you could trust had betrayed you.

tears were streaming down your face as your brother pulled you out of the room. your senses were overwhelmed as your ears started ringing. occasionally, you could hear the calls for your name but you couldn’t move.

the only time you snapped back into reality was when your brother threw a punch across your boyfriends face. and still then you couldn’t move from your spot. you didn’t move until your boyfriend fell to the floor, your older brother walking away from his captain.

“nico,” you mumbled. jack had a strong grip on you as you tried wiggling your way out of his arms. but alas, the hughes brother proved his strength by carrying you out of the room as you kicked and screamed to be let down.

it had been two months since your brother had stormed into nico’s apartment and taken you away from him. you didn’t really understand why, you were old enough to make your own decision.

timo hadn’t let you leave the apartment unless you were accompanied by either him, luke, jack or dawson. jack would force you out of your room at least twice a week whether it be to join him and luke for a movie and dinner at their house or to go out for dinner with your brother to make things seem normal.

but you didn’t want to go out. especially with timo or dawson.

luke seemed to be the only one who saw how heart broken you were over the whole ordeal. the first two weeks since your forced break up, timo allowed luke to stay with you and the young boy would stay up late as you cried just to make sure you made it through the night.

practice was still tense as nico avoided timo but tried not to change the environment the team had created. erik and jonas knew what had happened, they were in charge of making sure nothing happened between the boys at practice.

the others in the team noticed the awkward tension between timo and the captain but they all ignored it. even the one’s who knew ignored the situation and tried their best to go back to normal.

that was until erik walked into the locker room after everyone had left and found nico sobbing on the floor, a photo of the two of you in his hands. “i miss her so much,” he cried as erik gave him a hug.

erik had made nico write you a letter describing how he felt and he was going to make you do the same. when erik rang the doorbell he was surprised to find you answering.

“he isn’t here,” you sniffled. erik took in the sight of you in one of nico’s sweater’s, your eyes red and your hair tangled. “i’m not here for him,” he replied. “well then why did you come?” you asked.

erik didn’t say anything as he fished out the letter nico had written for you. “can i come inside and give this to you? i don’t want your brother to appear and see it,”

you nodded and let him in. erik was quick to shut the door behind him and give the letter to you. “read it quickly and write a response so i can give it to him,” erik had waited and made you something to eat as you wrote your letter.

erik played messenger for you and nico as he dropped by occasionally to give you a letter and at the end of practice, erik would wait for everyone to leave before handing your letter to nico.

the letters were filled with the two of you recalling every touch and special moment the two of you shared.

timo thought he was doing the right thing, keeping you separate from nico. at first he was oblivious to the pain you and nico were feeling even when he dragged you to their first playoff game at the rock.

for the past two months you were heartbroken. especially now as you watched nico do what he loves, knowing you can’t be there for him in the way you want to.

you were sat in the press box with luke when you ran out hyperventilating. your heart ached in your chest, more than it did before. “y/n?” luke asked. the boy had called his mother to come upstairs and help as soon as you ran out.

“it hurts so much luke,” you whispered, gripping onto your chest.

when ellen arrived, she took you in her arms and directed you down to the medical staff. luke was trailing behind you as he texted erik and jonas, he knew it would be a long shot and the boys wouldn’t see his messages but he just needed to try.

luckily for them, nico was being checked by the team doctor as he had an awful cut on his cheek. “she’s hyperventilating and we don’t know how to calm her down,” ellen explained as they walked into the room.

luke had left the room to find one of the guys to warn them to distract timo. but he had no luck as he walked into the locker room and came face to face with timo. apparently, a member of the medical team had come to tell timo about his sisters arrival at the medical room immediately.

“schätzli,” nico called as he saw your distressed state. and just by the sound of his voice, your breathing slowed. his voice was laced with worry but it still held the same gentle tone you loved.

nico waved off the nurses as he made his way over to you. he didn’t say a word as he wrapped your body in his arms, his cologne engulfing your nose. sobs racked your body as you took in the feeling of being in nico’s arms again.

luke’s attempt to keep timo away from the medical room proved no help as your brother pushed past the younger boy. even though erik and jonas had tried to help keep timo preoccupied there wasn’t enough time to split you and nico up.

your brother walked into the room and was met with the sight of you in nico’s arms. a sense of deja vu ran over timo but this time it was different. this time you weren’t half naked in his best friends room.

this time timo could tell that you were happier around nico. he could see it in the way your eyes held more life in them in that moment than over the past two months and he could see it when your face showed relief as soon as nico’s lips met your forehead.

“i will always be yours y/n,” nico vowed to you and to your brother as the two men made eye contact.

now as you moved into nico’s apartment you smiled to yourself because you had done it. you and nico survived the ‘great war’

#nico hischier imagine #timo meier #new jersey devils fic #nicohischierz writes

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gingiesworld · 9 months

Text

At My Worst

Chapter Five

Leigh Shaw x GN! Reader

Warnings: Angst. Fluff. Danny is a dick

18+ MINORS DNI

Christmas came and went fast, although Y/N had to work over christmas day, Leigh made sure to have a second christmas at the Shaw house, which amused both her mom and Jules since they had never seen her so nervous.

Even now as she packed up her things as Y/N had asked her to move in with them as they looked for their own house. Wanting one near her mom and in the neighbourhood she grew up.

"Leigh!" The two heard as they were unloading the van.

"I'll be upstairs." Y/N kissed her temple before taking the box upstairs.

"Danny? Why are you here?" She asked him as he pointed to her hand.

"So it's true then." He scoffed as he shook his head. "You're not wearing Matt's ring."

"I know I'm not." She told him calmly. "This is Y/N's ring, my fiancè."

"So you're getting married? Did Matt mean so little to you?!" He questioned loudly, gaining the attention of passers by.

"He meant everything to me but it is almost five years since he died. Since he killed himself." Leigh told him angrily. "I am allowed to move on! Live my life and not dwell on the future that your brother promised to me before he went and hooked up with Nina."

"Leigh." Danny shrunk down as Leigh shook her head no.

"No, I am allowed to get my happy ever after. Y/N is my happy ever after and you are ruining one of the greatest days of my life." She told him as her eyes stung.

"I think you should leave." Y/N's voice sounded from beside Leigh.

"And you're the fiancè who is replacing my brother." Danny scoffed as Y/N stepped closer to him.

"I am not replacing anyone. Yes, your brother's passing was unfortunate but Leigh is allowed to move on. She has spent the better part of 3 years grieving so let her be happy." They told him sternly as Leigh wiped her eyes.

"Leigh." Danny tried as Leigh shook her head.

"Have a nice life Danny." She told him before she grabbed another box and headed inside.

"I'm sorry." He whispered as Y/N smiled at him. "Just take care of her."

"I intend to just that." Y/N told him. "I know it must be hard especially with your feelings for her but this is good for her."

"I know." He nodded as he stepped away slowly. "Just make sure she is happy and has the family she has always dreamed of." With that he had left in a hurry, leaving Y/N with the last of the boxes and locking the car.

"Are you ok?" Y/N asked her as she sat on the sofa, her head in her hands.

"I guess so." She whispered as Y/N took her hand in theirs. "I am allowed to move on so soon?"

"It isn't so soon Leigh, it's been five years since he passed away." They reassured her.

"You would say that." Leigh chuckled as she snatched her hand away. "You are my new fiancè. My set in stone as my mom said."

"Leigh, you're spiralling." They stood before her, resting their hands on her arms as she shook her head. "Breathe for me." The two had done breathing exercises until she started to sob, Y/N catching her and pulling her into them. Holding her as she cried, soon picking her up and taking her to their room, laying beside her as they held her. Bringing her some sort of comfort.

-----

As the weeks had went on, Leigh found herself attending group again, needing some guidance in her emotions. She had started to have doubts since the altercation with Danny, soon putting a hold on wedding preparations.

"I uh Y/N proposed to me a few weeks ago." Leigh started as she played with the ring on her finger. "I was happy, extremely happy for the first time in years. Well, I had never really felt happiness like it before, but as Y/N and I were moving my things into their apartment, Danny. My husband's brother showed up by chance. He uh seeing him has made me question is 3 years to short of time before moving on? It's just that things are amazing with Y/N and I feel guilty because I feel like I am forgetting Matt."

"That's completely understandable with how you're feeling." The councellor spoke. "And there is no definite time frame on grief or when you should move on. If it feels right to move on with this person, then don't question it. Let yourself be happy. If they are who you see your future with, go for it because you are allowed to be happy. To move on." As the time went on and everyone had shared their stories, Leigh's phone was on silent as she was getting multiple calls from her mom, jules and Governor Stevens.

#leigh shaw x you #leigh shaw imagine #leigh shaw x reader #leigh shaw #lizzie olsen x you #lizzie olsen x reader #lizzie olsen imagine #elizabeth olsen x reader #elizabeth olsen smut #elizabeth olsen imagine

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dean-winchester-is-a-warrior · 10 months

Text

Make it Better

Summary: Y/N is at the end of her rope. Can Dean help her hold on?

Warnings: None really, brief non-explicit descriptions of sex, lots of fluff, hurt!reader (mental/emotional hurt) comforting, soft!dean.

Pairings: Dean x Y/N

Word Count: 1730

A/N: I got this request from my dear friend @deanwinchesterwifesstuff :

Heyyy! Thanks for saying i can ask you a fic! Its kinda simple..i just Seek comfort in dean giving me a princess treatment, so maybe a comfy bath together...cuddling..and all that kinda Stuff..just all about fluff

So, here is what I came up with lovely, and I hope it helps! ❤️

The beautiful divider below and at the bottom were created by @talesmaniac89

You were just at the end of your rope. You’d been running on empty for days, and you felt more emotionally drained than you could possibly describe. It felt as though everyone around you was pulling out little bits of you, tearing into you with cruel words, and careless attitudes.

You were just so tired.

You were balled up in your bed, ignoring the world, or trying to, desperate for one day of peace. Your phone kept buzzing but you pretended you didn’t hear it. You knew you should get up at some point and eat something, maybe have a warm bath, read a book? But all of that took energy, and you just didn’t have any more to give.

So you stayed in bed, cocooned in your blanket.

Some time around ten o’clock there was a knock at your front door, which you also ignored, burrowing deeper into your fluffy duvet. But then you heard his voice.

“Y/N!”

“Dean?” You called out, disbelief clouding your voice as you sat up in bed.

You were still wrapped up like a burrito as he strode in through your bedroom door. He stood in the doorway, blocking out most of what lay beyond with his wide shoulders and massive frame. His face held an expression of worry and slight annoyance.

“What the hell, Y/N? I’ve been texting and calling for hours, why didn’t you answer? You scared the shit out of me.”

Dean’s frustration with you went straight to your already stomped on heart and without warning noisy tears burst out. You tried to hold back the harsh sobs, embarrassed, but they wouldn’t be contained. Days and weeks of abuse from everyone around you had just taken its toll, and you couldn’t hold back anymore.

In seconds Dean was beside you on the bed. “Hey, sweetheart, shh, I’m sorry baby. I didn’t mean to make you cry. I’m sorry, it’s okay.” He pulled you into his side, squeezing you tight through the piles of cotton wrapped around you. You rested your head on his chest and let out all the sadness and hurt you’d been walking around with for too long.

He just held you, swaying slowly side-to-side as you cried, holding you close and murmuring soft, loving words, most of which you couldn’t hear over your noisy tears, but you felt the comfort in them nonetheless. Finally your tears slowed, and then stopped, and your body shook slightly as you pulled in deep, shuddery breaths. He pulled back so he could look at you, and you knew you must look like an absolute mess.

But he just reached back to your bedside table and grabbed the box of tissues, pulling one out and holding it against your nose. “Blow.” He said, and you felt like a little kid, but you blew your nose and he tossed the tissue in the basket and then used another to dry your cheeks.

Then he pushed back the “hood” of your blanket so your head emerged, and he combed your hair back off your face with his fingers.

“What’s going on, sweetheart?” He asked softly.

You shook your head. “It’s too much to talk about.” You shrugged and another tear leaked out of the corner of your eye.

Dean thumbed it away. “Okay, baby. Then we won’t. For now anyway.”

You sniffled and then frowned at him. “I thought you and Sam were in Oklahoma, hunting down that Wendigo; you said you wouldn’t be back for another week.”

Dean nodded. “Yeah, well, we got it quicker than we thought we would. This one had already been injured, so it slowed it down a bit. Then I left Sam there to clean everything up cause I couldn’t get ahold of you.”

He frowned at you, and you felt bad for causing him to worry. “I’m sorry.” You said softly.

He pushed the blanket off your shoulders, and finally pulled you out from inside it. He set you sideways on his lap and tucked your head under his chin. His big hand moved up and down your arm slowly. “You don’t have to be sorry, sweetheart. I’m here now, you’re safe, and I’m gonna make things better, okay?”

You nodded, feeling some of the tension in your body begin to ease already; the bubble of hurt and anxiety that had been squeezing your chest like a vice began to deflate.

“First things first,” Dean said with conviction, “breakfast. Come on.” He squeezed you one last time and you slid out of his lap.

You followed him into the kitchen and he told you to sit. When you offered to help make the pancakes and bacon he was cooking, he just shook his head. “Nope. My culinary genius needs room to flourish.” He said in a ridiculous french accent that made you giggle lightly.

As he cooked he told you all about this latest hunt, making you laugh some more in spite of the danger in the situations he described. Dean had a way of finding the humor in almost every situation, and it was one of the traits that you loved most in him.

The food was delicious, as it always was when Dean cooked it; you’d told him many times that he should retire from hunting and open a diner. He cooked comfort food as a way to comfort the people he loved, and make sure they were cared for…another trait of his that you adored.

After breakfast you showered, and when you came out, Dean had laid out comfy pajamas for you on the bed. You pulled them on and padded out to the living room where he'd lit a bunch of candles, and a fire. The fire warded off the chill in the air, and the candles contrasted sharply with the rainy gray skies outside the window, warming everything with a soft yellow glow.

He held up three books. “Pick.” He said with a smile.

You chose the romance adventure book, knowing that it would make for the best escape. You snuggled in between Dean’s knees and leaned back against him as he started reading to you. His deep voice was soothing and lent a whole new level of authenticity and realism to the love scenes. You felt your heart begin to beat faster as he read the words. Then it started beating double time as he set the book down, and began to write his own love scene on your skin.

His touch was extremely gentle, unhurried and luxurious. His lips were like silk as he ran them like a whisper down your neck, reaching your pulse point and sucking lightly. You arched your neck so he could reach it easier; your head rested against his shoulder and you let out a soft sigh as he let go and whispered into your ear.

“Bedroom?”

You nodded quickly and he chuckled, scooping you up in his arms and carrying you down the hall to lay you out on the bed. He spent the next couple hours making love to you, worshiping you, praising you. He told you over and over how beautiful you were, how perfect. He rained pleasure down on your body endlessly, finding every sensitive spot you had and leaving no inch of your skin unkissed.

Afterwards he cleaned you up with warm cloths, and then climbed in behind you, pulling you into his arms, and holding you close while you slept for a few hours. For the first time in days and days, you slept deeply and dreamlessly and when you woke up you felt refreshed, and finally ready to tell him about all the things that had been going wrong in your life over the last while.

He listened attentively, stroking your back, and kissing your forehead when you got choked up in the telling. He didn’t try to offer solutions, he just told you again how perfect you were, and reminded you that you deserved respect and kindness from those around you. He told you that if you wanted, he’d be there with you if and when you wanted to confront the people causing all your pain.

You smiled up at him, feeling supported and understood, and amazed at what a huge difference that made. You pulled his lips down to yours, which led to another couple hours of pleasure and sleep.

You woke up to the smell of something delicious and cheesy cooking and when you walked into the kitchen you saw Dean pulling a tray of nachos out of the oven, completely smothered in cheese, and you clapped your hands excitedly.

“My favorite!” You practically squealed.

Dean laughed as you wrapped your arms around his neck. “I know, why do you think I made them?”

You enjoyed a candlelit dinner, sharing the plate of stacked nachos, and more fabulous conversation. Now that you were starting to feel better, you laughed and teased him more freely, and the dinner was absolutely perfect. Despite Dean’s protests, you helped him clean up, finding joy in the simple chore as you worked together.

After dinner, Dean drew you a warm bath, with lavender scented bubbles. He made the bath absolutely perfect as he climbed in behind you. He massaged the soft, soapy water into your skin, running his rough hands up and down your arms and back, kneading your muscles and making you moan raggedly. Those moans led to another round of lovemaking and by the time you were falling apart beneath him for the seventh (eighth?) time that day you felt absolutely sublime and tranquil, like you were floating on a cloud.

Dean shifted to lay beside you and you turned towards him, tangling your legs up with his. You relished the feel of his broad chest beneath your cheek, and his strong arms like iron bands of protection around you.

“Thank you.” You whispered over his heart.

He kissed the top of your head and held you a little tighter. “No thank yous needed, sweetheart. I will always be here to remind you how incredible you are, and to remind you that I love you. Always.”

You looked up at him, and he sealed his words with a gentle kiss. “I love you too.” You said and as you snuggled into him you hoped he knew you that you meant it with every breath in your body.

1 - Jensen RPF + Any/All characters Jensen plays. @lyarr24 @deans-spinster-witch @impalaslytherin @maggiegirl17 @akshi8278 @candy-coated-misery0731 @deanswaywardgirl @slytherinlyn314 @globetrotter28 @jensensgirl @perpetualabsurdity @tristanrosspada-ackles @djs8891 @muhahaha303 @kayyay1219 @emily-winchester @recoveringpastaaddict @maximumkillshot @mimaria420 @sacriceria @envyaurora95 @lacilou @jc-winchester @spnwoman

2 - Dean Winchester Fics Only. @carryonwaywardgirl

3 - Any/All Fics (regardless of fandom/character.) @kazsrm67 @sexyvixen7 @alexxavicry @nancymcl @spalady26

4 - Everything (includes fan vid/DOOL edits as well) @unabashed-lover-of-fictional-men @maliburenee @supernatural4life2022 @spn730015 @kickingitwithkirk @waywardbaby @foxyjwls007 @deanwanddamons @deandreamernp @deanwithscissors @myloversgone @snowlovespie @leigh70 @all-alone-he-turns-to-stone @charred-angelwings @hopefuldreamers-world @jensensgotyoudean @thoughts-and-funnies @magssteenkamp @princessmisery666 @eevvvaa @mishkatelwarriorgoddess @waynes-multiverse @mrsjenniferwinchester @bernasaurus @jensenslady79 @courtn92 @avanatural @ellie-andthemachine @this-is-me19 @roseblue373 @katbratsupernaturalwhore @fanfic-n-tabulous

#dean x y/n #dean x reader #dean winchester fan fiction #hurt/comfort #dean winchester fluff #dean winchester smut #dean winchester smuff

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authorforrosie · 1 year

Text

Title: You catch Jennie trying not to cry and coaxing her into crying.

Pairing: Jennie x You. [GxG.]

Warning: crying, hate.

Words: 1011

You walked downstairs into Jennie's work room. Everything became quiet so closer you went there. Your heart broke when you heard sniffles coming from the work room of your girlfriend.

sniffles sniffles.

You know how hard it's to deal with hate since you already got a little bit hate after you both came out with your relationship in 2024. At the same time you couldn't imagine the amount of hate that K-Pop idols truly get. Since they are under a lot pressure, toxicity influences, diets, dating ban or hate by people behind screen's.

You took a deep breath not knowing if you should knock on the door to comfort her or if you should give her space. Since some people need to have space in alone time in situations like these. After a few minutes of debating into the brain you decided to knock on the door.

You heard a very small 'come in' with sniffles following.

You walked into the room with a glass bottle of water in your hand. You saw Jennie trying not to cry and how she cried. Your heart broke when you saw how red swollen puffy her brown cat-like eyes look. Her nose red and pouting.

„C'mon baby girl. Come here..." Whispered you with comfort. You saw how hesitant Jennie was about being in your arms while crying.

Jennie crawled into your arms and tried really hard not to start crying. You moved backwards and forwards.

„I know you were crying. You can cry now baby girl. I am here for you. Like I told you before I wanna be the shoulder you cry on." Coaxed you with sympathy in your voice.

You saw how Jennie's lips trembles for a moment.Tears rolled down her cheeks. A few seconds later she started crying in your arms. You kissed her forehead while keeping moving backwards and forwards slowly. Your fingers moved through her long brown hair and you rubbed her back.

„Why are people so mean to me. I haven't done anything wrong or have I. What did I do to deserve this amount of hate...?" Asked Jennie in between sobbing with sadness in her voice.

You rubbed her back with tears in your y/e/c eyes. You kissed her forehead while she continues to cry out all the bad feelings that she has.

„You don't deserve the hate because you are wonderful human being. I think the people are mean to you because they are behind a screen you know. You are a hard working K-Pop idol it's sad how people forget this fact all the time. Blinks, your best friends, friends, me and your family love you so much." Answered you with sympathy and honesty in your voice.

You pulled a pair of hair away behind her ear away from her brown cat-like eyes. You whispered sweet sentences into her ear. You stayed with her into the same position for one hour to comfort her with sweet sentences. In between crying you wiped her tears away with tissues from four tissues boxes.

„How do you know that...?"Cried Jennie with sadness in her voice.

Your heart broke at the question that Jennie asked you. A few tears rolled down your cheeks. You pulled her closer into you until there wasn't any space left between you and Jennie. You hold her closer to you.

„I know that because you are not only an K-Pop Idol. You are a human. I don't only say that because you are my girlfriend. I say that because it's a fact. You are a wonderful, beautiful, attractive, hilarious, cute and smart young woman. I am so lucky to be able to call you my girl and my future wife." Reassurance you with honesty in your voice. You kissed her forehead a few times after leaning in closer towards Jennie.

It took two hours until Jennie didn't cry anymore. After that two hours you moved towards the bathroom with your girl Jennie. She sat with her back against your front into the bathtub. The bath water smelled like strawberries thanks to the bath crystals that you got her a few weeks ago.

You massages her head with a happy expression on your face when you saw her relaxed face expression. You noticed how Jennie's brown cat-like eyes closed with pure relaxation. You smiled and kissed her temples multiple times without stopping. You saw how Jennie's eyes crinkled at the corner when she smiles. Jennie couldn’t describe how much in love she is with you, your body, brain, heart and personality.

Jennie knew in this situation that you are the one for her. She can't help but hope to marry you someday in the future and have children with you. She loved how long you comfort her and stayed in the same position like her. The bath you took with her relaxed her even further after the crying that she did. Jennie couldn't deny that she is feeling better now after letting out all her emotions with tears and more tears.

You texted her best friends Jisoo, Rosé, Lisa, her mother, her friends and managers that she is feeling better now. You picked her fatigue body up and carried Jennie into the bedroom to lay her on your Queen sized bed. Jennie made grabby hands and pouts when she noticed how you haven't laid down next at her yet. At 100 percent you couldn't resist her pouting. You laid down next at her only for her to move closer until her head is resting on your chest. Jennie puffed out her dumpling mandu cheeks.

Jennie smiled with her brown eyes crinkled at the corner. It caused you to smile and your heart beat faster since you are so incredibly in love with Jennie. You kissed her forehead and held her hand into your own hand. A few hours later you both decided to to take a nap. Jennie let you rest your head on her chest at that point. She smiled satisfied after falling asleep together.

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vkelleyart · 2 years

Text

Storytime: My traumatic pregnancies and why abortion access is also a mental health issue. (Part one.)

(TW: Miscarriage, Pregnancy complications, PPA/PPD, Blood)

"What happened, didn't you take care of yourself?"

That was what an elder female coworker said to me the day I returned to the office after my miscarriage.

In November 2011, I was 15 weeks along in my first pregnancy when I woke up to blood on the mattress. Having never been pregnant before, I genuinely didn't know what it meant; I'd heard that bleeding during pregnancy happened sometimes, and the worst I allowed myself to contemplate was a scenario that put me on bed rest for the remainder of the nine months. Fearing what the doctor would say, I called my older sister first to basically beg her for reassurance that there a chance that I––and by extension, the baby––was fine. Obviously, she had no answers, so I got a hold of my in-laws to take me to the OB/GYN for an emergency visit since my husband was still teaching at the school.

The technician was very quiet during the ultrasound. We're talking no eye contact. I had to ask if there was a heartbeat.

"No. There's no heartbeat."

She said nothing else. Just wiped off the gel, moved the box of tissues next to my table, and left. My mother in-law gathered me up into her arms, and I wept while we waited for my doctor to reiterate what the ultrasound had already proven. When my OB/GYN doctor of two years finally showed up, she sat across from me with a sympathetic look on her face and said, "I'm so sorry, Jennifer."

I paused in my sobbing to croak, "My name is Venessa."

"What?" She glanced down at her file. "Oh, I'm sorry, they gave me the wrong file! Excuse me..." And then she was gone, too.

It was a Friday, and as there was no chance of getting me in for a D&C until Monday, I was sent home and blandly informed that I might experience "some intense cramping" and should therefore have some Ibuprofen on hand. On the way out the door, my in-laws told my husband what I didn't have the voice to say over the phone, so he found a last-minute sub and met all of us at a Mexican restaurant where his parents treated us to Wheaton's best fajitas and sangria in hopes of easing the pain we were in. (I later found out he excused himself from class to cry by himself in the teacher's bathroom.)

Foolishly did I assume the worst was over and that all that lay ahead of me was some period cramping. It was 1AM when I woke up with pain like I was being impaled through my lower midsection.

I remember crawling on all fours to the phone and dialing the emergency number to my OB's office. Several prompts later, I finally got a human, a nurse who asked me what I was feeling.

"They said cramping," I said through gritted teeth. "This isn't normal. I feel like I'm dying--"

"You've just miscarried. You were far enough along that this may feel more like an early labor than a period."

"What??" I gasped. "What do I do? Can I come in? I can't even stand up..."

"It doesn't pay to come into urgent care for this," he said mechanically. "There's not really anything we can do for you. Just take another ibuprofen and it should run its course."

My breath vacated my lungs. "Right... Okay... Thank you..."

I hung up and crawled back to my bed room, grabbing my husband's arm and scaring the daylights out of him when he opened his eyes to find me on the floor. He scrambled out of bed and lifted me up, walking me out to the living room as I cried. I nearly dragged him down with me when another contraction lanced me through the gut and my legs gave out.

I couldn't sit and I couldn't stand, so he brought me over to the CD player, put on Michael Bublé, and let me lean all my weight into him as we rocked in place––a sort of tragic slow dance punctuated by waves of agony 5 minutes apart. He helped me to the bathroom several times over the next five hours as my body violently expelled all the evidence that I'd ever been pregnant, like I was trapped in an endless Sam Raimi movie.

Finally, just before the sun rose, my body calmed enough for us to go back to bed. When Monday came, they told me the D&C was unnecessary. An ultrasound showed my uterus was empty.

A clean canvas. Like nothing had ever happened.

Except I'd started painting the nursery. The room beside my bedroom had been cleared of my drafting table and art supplies to make room for a new little person I'd never had a chance to know. I walked around my house like a ghost for several days while I recovered and grieved, always winding up in this room and never remembering how I got there, punishing myself with shame-driven thoughts about having caused it because the fact was, I was so scared to be pregnant.

I wondered, Had I willed this? From the moment the second purple stripe showed up on the pee stick, I grappled with terror of having a difficult labor and delivery, of not being tall enough to house a growing baby without destroying my body, of handing down the generational trauma that had made so many of my family members succumb to addiction, codependency, depression, and other psychological maladies. I knew this baby would also mean leaving my job because it involved so much traveling. My world would be completely upended, and while this was what I wanted and had chosen, it was also a leap into the unknown that put everything in my life at risk, above all, my life itself.

Prior to my miscarriage, I'd had an abnormal ultrasound––abnormal in that the fetus was smaller than it should have been at the time the ultrasound was taken. My doctor reassured me it wasn't something to worry about in a tone that seemed to convey this was a common occurrence, so I tried not to dwell on it. Of course, I now understand that this was the first sign that, genetically, the baby would not make it to term.

Society told me my fears were selfish considerations. And for this reason, despite all the evidence in that very first ultrasound that told me this was not a typical pregnancy, I shamed and blamed myself for losing it. I internalized the chilly regard of the technicians and the doctor's kid glove treatment of me as evidence that all this trauma was on me. And when I came back to work, all the words of comfort from other women around me who had also miscarried, among them one of my supervisors, got drowned out as soon as one ignorant woman accused me of not taking care of myself.

Looking back on that experience in the wake of losing Roe v. Wade, I've considered what a court would say today about what happened to me. Would they side with the person at my workplace, confiscate the journals where I poured out my worries as evidence that I had in fact stunted my own pregnancy somehow?

I also marvel at how lucky I was to have a caring spouse and supportive family members in a moment where all my healthcare resources abandoned me to face a traumatic labor and delivery in my own bathroom. I've given birth to two children since then, and though neither of those labors were as painful as my miscarriage was, those experiences solidified the decision that, were I to get pregnant a fourth time, I would abort it.

But that's another story.

[Part Two coming soon.]

#roe v wade #miscarriage #tw miscarriage #tw blood #tw pregnancy

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outerspacebisexual · 2 years

Note

heyyyy, que tal o prompt 36 com Nancy x R (Female or neutral, you choose) I would die to read they being just two idiots in love who don't know each other's feelings

Idiots in Love - Nancy Wheeler

Requested: Yes

Summary: You were in love with Nancy Wheeler, and apparently, she loved you back.

Pairing: Nancy Wheeler x Reader

Word count: 1.6k

Warnings: fluff, lil angst for fun

a/n: thank you so much for requesting this! i hope you like it!

if you would like to request something, check out my prompt celebration!

Masterlist

The library basement was colder than you thought it would be.

“What are we even looking for?” you asked, leafing through a box of newspaper articles from the ‘70s.

“Anything that sounds like it could be relevant,” Nancy said from where she sat at the viewing machine, but after a moment, she sighed. “This is feeling like a wild goose chase.”

“No, if you think it could be a lead then it probably is,” you replied. “You know what you’re doing, Nance.” She smiled at that, and you couldn’t help the heat rising in your cheeks as you watched her.

You had always been an arms-length from Nancy. First as awkward acquaintances when she started going out with your friend Steve, and then friends who slowly drifted when she got with Jonathan Byers.

You had really tried not to let their relationship affect your friendship, but it was hard enough being in love with her without seeing her constantly with her boyfriend.

Well, ex-boyfriend now.

You couldn’t stop that guilty part of you that had been overjoyed when she told you that she had called it quits—the distance and different plans too much for them. She had been inconsolable when she showed up on your doorstep weeks ago crying. You had held her as her body racked with sobs, your own heart selfishly doing somersaults as she sat on your bed.

Now, with Vecna wreaking havoc across Hawkins, it seemed like months ago.

“Did you find anything from the ’72 box?” she asked, and you jumped, looking away from her as quickly as possible.

“I—uh, not yet. I’m still working on it,” you mumbled.

You had immediately offered to go with her when she said that she might have a lead, Robin agreeing to go with the two of you, much to your disappointment. Robin and you were friends, you had been since Steve and her started working together, and she unfortunately knew of your insane crush on the elder Wheeler. And she teased you about it all the time.

But now with Jonathan out of the picture, Robin was even more adamant that you needed to make a move.

You glanced at Robin who was sat across from you, her eyes flicking over words you knew she wasn’t actually reading. “Anything?”

“No. I’m starting to think I would have enjoyed going with Steve and the kids more than looking through ancient articles.” She slumped down against the table, and you patted her head.

“Oh, poor Robin. Is all the sitting down and reading too much for you?” you teased.

“Hey, I offered to come with you to keep you company and now you’re being mean.”

“You’re right. I am sorry…that you made a mistake.”

“You’re the worst.”

You opened your mouth to reply, but you cut yourself off when Nancy pushed back her chair and stood. “I’m going to check the boxes in the back to see if there’s anything from earlier.” And then she was gone before either of you could say anything.

Robin looked at you and raised her eyebrows.

“No,” you said. “Don’t say it.”

She raised her hands in mock defense. “I didn’t say anything.”

“You were going to.”

“All I was going to say is that she looked quite upset, and maybe she could use someone to cheer her up.”

You pushed your chair back. “I’m not going for any other reason other than she might need help.”

Robin smirked. “Of course not. You’re just being a good friend.”

You found Nancy towards the back of the basement, lost amongst the shelves as she traced each one with her fingers, trying to find any headlines that could have been related to her lead.

“Hey,” you said, catching her by surprise.

She spun to look at you. “Hey.”

“Do…do you need help?”

“Oh, no it’s all right. I’m know what I’m looking for, and it’s probably a long shot anyway. Why don’t you head back to Robin?”

It didn’t sound like a question, but you really didn’t want to leave her to do all the work, like always. “No, seriously. I can help. Tell me what you’re looking for and I can search for it.”

She spun back around to the shelves. “No. I can do it by myself.”

That gave you pause. There was a twinge of something behind her voice—anger? Or frustration? She had been fine a few minutes ago.

You stepped forward, leaving a few feet between the two of you. “Are you OK?”

“I’m fine.”

You bit your lip as you stared at her. “You don’t seem fine.”

She ran a hand over her face and up into her hair, pushing it back from her eyes. “Well, I am.”

You let the silence fall between the two of you. You were worried now. You guys didn’t know what kind of things led to Vecna choosing a victim, and you couldn’t help but worry that it could be related.

She reached out to try and pull a box down, and you stepped in, grabbing it for her.

“Thank you,” she said softly.

She flipped open the lid, but you couldn’t look away from her worried brow. “Are you sure you’re all right?”

“Why do you keep asking me that?” she said, spinning to look at you.

“Because I’m worried about you. You were fine before and now you’re acting weird.”

“I’m not acting weird. I just want to get this over and done with and get out of here.”

Ouch.

You tried not to let that one hurt as you continued. “You want to get away from here, or from me?”

Nancy looked at you then, and you could see her struggling to find an answer, her blue eyes roaming your face.

Double ouch.

You swallowed your hurt and tried to reassure her. “Does it have something to do with the lead? If it’s not looking good, then we can just leave it. It’s no problem.”

“It has nothing to do with the lead!” she rushed, squeezing the sides of the box so tight they started to bend.

You could only stare at her, hoping she would continue to enlighten you on what the hell was going on. When she didn’t say anything else, you tried again. “Nancy, you need to tell me the truth.”

She pressed her eyes closed, hard. “I can’t.” Her voice was so quiet, barely audible even in the empty space. She released the side of the box, smoothing her thin hands over the paper; the hands that you wished you could reach out and take, to hold.

In your mind, you begged her to say something else, but she stayed silent, letting her hair fall and shield her face.

“Right,” you said after a few seconds. “I—uh—I guess I’ll go back to searching the ‘70s with Robin and leave you to it.”

You went to move your hand from the box, but Nancy placed hers on top of it. You froze.

When you looked back to her, she seemed so close. She hadn’t moved, but her beautiful eyes shone in the pale overhead light, and her mouth parted slightly as she took in a shaky breath.

Your heart started to race. Being this close to her, being there with her in a way that your mind had only dreamed of…your breath hitched.

“I don’t want you to go back to Robin,” she admitted, voice still so soft. She moved the hand that was on yours to curl underneath yours, hesitating just before closing it. You did it for her.

She took another shaky breath, and you could see the millions of thoughts racing behind her eyes, but one you could suddenly see so much clearer.

She opened her mouth, sucking in a breath. “I want you to be with me.”

Your eyebrows furrowed. “I am here with you?”

She huffed a breath out through her nose, closing her eyes again. “No, I—I want you to be with me.”

Your heart stopped in your chest. This had to be a dream. If this wasn’t going in the direction you thought it was… “Nancy—”

“Please,” she whispered.

And you searched her face, beholding the raw vulnerability there, the question she was both asking and praying for.

And then you surged forward, capturing her lips with yours. Her hand came up to rest on the side of your face and you put yours on top of it. You placed your other hand on her waist, guiding her gently against the shelves as her free hand came to rest at the base of your neck.

Your mind was whirring. You couldn’t think about anything other than Nancy Wheeler. She was there. She was kissing you back. Nancy Wheeler was—

“I’m glad you two idiots are in love, but in case you forgot, we have a supernatural killer on the loose.”

You both jumped apart, heads shooting towards Robin who had a very triumphant look on her face as she chewed you out.

“Do you guys maybe want to quit kissing face and keep looking for this lead?”

You had never wanted Robin to disappear so much in your life, and she seemed to get the message because she vanished back behind the shelves.

When you looked back to Nancy, she was already looking at you, eyes wide as she glanced between your own eyes and your lips. “That was nice,” she said, the grin you loved so much growing wider by the second.

“You’ve always been intelligent, Wheeler, but I believe that’s the most astute thing you’ve ever said.”

#nancy wheeler x reader #nancy wheeler x you #nancy wheeler x y/n #stranger things x reader #stranger things fanfiction #stranger things x you #nancy wheeler fanfiction #nancy wheeler angst #nancy wheeler fluff #stranger things fluff #outerspacebisexual

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buckgasms · 2 years

Note

If you're still up for a distraction I've got one for you. DarkMafia!Bucky showing reader who they belong to after she tries to leave because he flirt with another woman...

Angry Bucky has been staring at me in my ask box for over a week now.... 🤭

Thank you darling @wolfieash for the beautiful distraction and for putting up with my stupid questions, love you so much boo 😘

I may do a part 2 if you lovelies so desire...

Warnings: dark!Bucky, slapping, arguing, scary Bucky is scary....but we kinda like it don't we?

------------------------🐦----------------------

You sat at the bar, your leg crossed over the other, scowling at Bucky. He had spent an entire evening flirting with some total bitch. A total bitch who kept looking at you with a look of smugness on her face that you were absolutely dying to slap off. You waited as long as you could but when Bucky leaned in a whispered something in her ear, that was the last straw.

You stood from your seat and stormed out of the bar, hailing a cab to take you home. You reached for your phone with shaking fkgners and texted Bucky:

"Don't bother coming to find me, if you wanna spend the night with a whore feel free, cos I won't be here when you get back". You hesitated before hitting send and glared out at New York City as the cab sped you back to Bucky's and your apartment.

You were midway through chucking some clothes in a suitcase when the door burst open and Bucky was pacing through the apartment to find you. He looked around at the packed bags and glared at you. "The fuck is this?" He asked and you scoffed as you continued throwing things haphazardly into a new bag. "Exactly what it looks like, I'm leaving. I'm not gonna be treated like that, you wanna get your dick wet, do it without me." You tried to barge past him but he grabbed your arms, the rings on his fingers digging into your skin painfully. He dragged you into him, his angry face inches away from yours. "You fucking insane? You belong to me little bird...you ain't going anywhere." He dragged you over to the bed and threw you down, but you struggled up. "I'm fucking packed. I'm going you peice of shit". He picked up your packed bags and tipped out the clothes and items you'd packed and chucked the bag away. "There you're all unpacked now. Stop being a fucking brat before I really lose my temper birdie."

You folded you arms across your chest and shrugged at him. He ran his hand over his face in frustration and kicked your suitcase again. You shuffled over the bed and got up, pacing to the bedroom door and made it into the living room before his hands were on you and he lifted you up and carried you, kicking and screaming back into the bedroom. "Let me go Bucky, I don't want to be here, let me go!"

You landed back on the bed but this time his hands grabbed at your silky dress and tore at the fabric, exposing you to him in one swift move. You struggled with him, pushing and shoving his hands away but he was slicker and stronger so before you could catch your breath he had pinned you down on the bed, his knees trapping your hands on the mattress.

"Fucking calm down" he panted and you finally stopped struggling before looking at him, hot angry tears burning your eyes. "You're pathetic, you act like some big boss, like you're something special and you're just a pig. A pig who can't keep his dick in his pants." You sobbed and started struggling again before his hand clapped against your cheek, making you still in shock. "Don't fucking speak to me like that again... Ever. You know what happens to people who disrespect me don't you little bird? So why you runnin' your mouth like a stupid girl huh?" You whined, tears spilling down your face and you wiggled again making him bring his palm down again and you squealed.

"You know what made me laugh about that little message you sent? You told me I could spend a night with a whore... but that's what I do every night isn't it... My little bird?" He started pressing kisses you your face, licking your tears away and and chuckling a little as you sobbed.

"Tell me birdie...you my little whore? You belong to me don't you?" You looked up at him and nodded, heart pounding in your chest as he glared down at you, daring to deny him. "Good. Everytime you come tonight you're gonna scream that ok Birdie? And I'm gonna fuck all of those little holes, all night. Just so you remember who owns you." You whimpered, his weight still crushing you in a painful position, "and if you ever speak to me like that again, or try and leave over something so fucking stupid I'm gonna end you birdie... Do you understand me?"

You nodded and whispered to him, "Yes Sir" you said and he growled before finally releasing you from your pinned position. You stayed totally still as he pulled off his jacket and pulled off his shirt. "Get on your knees birdie, that mouth needs to be reminded of what it's good for before anything else happens..."

#request fic #bucky barnes #bucky x reader #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky imagine #bucky smut #bucky barnes smut #sebastian stan #masterlist #dark!bucky x y/n #dark!bucky barnes #dark!bucky smut #dark!bucky x you #dark!bucky x reader #mafia!bucky x reader #mafia!bucky

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tabithatwo · 11 months

Text

i'm all the way in my jackie nat feelings, so if anyone wants to take a walk down alive milf natalie and alive milf jackie lane, here's a contextless snippet from chapter 18 of my post s1 divergence, surpise, jackie was alive the whole time but only lottie and van knew, adult timeline fic called always be my baby. if you haven't read but you need a jackienat conversation, i think you should be able to follow along well enough. if you're planning on reading, this doesn't really spoil much plot. they're so fucking special to me it hurts!

<3 <3 <3 <3 <3

She was making her way down the hall opposite Van and Tai’s room to make sure the large picture window at the end of it was latched tight when she heard it.

A muffled cry from behind a closed door. Jackie paused and listened—gasping breaths, quiet sobs.

Natalie.

Fuck.

Jackie sent a quick text to Shauna—Checking on Nat real quick, will be up soon. Don’t worry xx—and knocked gently on the door.

The cries stopped and blankets rustled.

“Natalie?” Jackie’s hand was still raised, hovering near the doorknob. She was going in no matter what. She’d use the master key that hung on the door of the pantry if she had to, she wasn’t leaving her to cry alone after she took a fucking rifle to herself last week, but she’d much rather Nat invite her in. “It’s me…can I come in?”

A loud sniffle and an exasperated exhale.

“It’s open.”

Nat’s voice was strained, her words slurred. Jackie pushed the door open slowly, peering around it to get an idea of what she was walking into.

Nat hadn’t washed her makeup off—black rimmed her eyes and trailed down her cheeks. There were gaps in it, finger marks where she’d smudged it as she tried to wipe it away. She was still in her clothes, a worn band tee and black jeans that clung to her thin frame, and she was laying with her head toward the foot of the bed, her legs extended straight up against the wall. She looked at Jackie upside down, the top of her head digging into the mattress and her chin tilting into the air.

Her right arm hung off the bed, her fingers absently grazing the neck of an empty bottle of chardonnay that sat abandoned on the persian rug. There was a nearly-empty roll of toilet paper next to her left hip and used tissues littered the nightstand and the floor.

“I’ll never get used to seeing you walk through the fucking door,” Nat rasped. “Like looking at a goddamn dream.”

Jackie stepped inside, shutting the door behind her.

“I don’t think you’re the only one who feels that way.”

“Mmm, bet not,” Nat agreed, relaxing into the bed again, her face obscured by a tangle of dark brown hair. One-dimensional—a box-dye job, one Jackie had given herself in gas station bathrooms and airport hotels.

Jackie walked around to the other side of the bed and slipped in, mirroring Nat’s position, their feet next to each other against the light green wall. She looked at Nat, cheek resting on the thick blanket, and Nat did the same, one brow arched.

“Are you okay, Natalie?” Jackie tried to keep her tone casual. Tried to sound more like hey, what’s going on than are you going to off yourself?

Nat chuckled, but the laughter in it was overpowered by the thick, painful sound in her throat.

“I’m not gonna kill myself, if that’s what you’re asking.”

Well.

“Happy to hear that,” Jackie gave her a small, sad smile, “but I’m asking about more than just that, y’know.”

“Yeah,” Nat sighed, shifting her gaze back to the ceiling, “I know.”

She smelled like alcohol and cigarettes and heady, earthy perfume. Jackie traced one of the black lines on her cheek with her eyes, following it all the way to her earlobe, and she waited. Waited like she had with Shauna last night, like she had with Taissa moments ago. Sometimes silence was what they needed—these beautiful, tortured, stubborn women who hated communicating their fucking feelings more than just about anything else.

A fresh tear followed the path of the black streak. Natalie’s lower lip twitched. She threw her arm over her face, burying her eyes behind her elbow, just in time to hide the sobs that wracked through her. Jackie wanted to hold her. She wished she could wrap her up and squeeze her tight, but this was Nat. There was no fucking way she wouldn’t get shoved off the bed.

“I just liked knowing he was out there somewhere,” Nat said suddenly. “He was a fucking…asshole—” she choked on the word, “but he was…just fucking there, y’know?”

Nat’s hand laid flat on the bed between them. Jackie brushed it with her own and, when Nat didn’t flinch away, she wrapped her fingers around Nat’s.

“Yeah,” Jackie whispered, “I know what you mean.”

“And Lottie is just…God,” Nat laughed, something close to a bark, “fucking crazy Lottie. I had them, though. And now he’s dead and she’s out of her goddamn mind and Tai is…Tai. She’s always fucking…busy working or…or cutting her dog’s fucking head off and I—”

Nat’s whole body shook with effort as she took a slow, controlled inhale.

“He was the last one I was connected to and he’s dead and maybe I’m a selfish cunt but it just…fucking sucks.”

Natalie uncovered her face, snatching her hand out from under Jackie’s to tear off a wad of toilet paper. She blew her nose roughly and tossed it aside. They looked at each other again, Jackie’s eyes glassy with sympathy.

“I’ll be connected to you,” Jackie said quickly. “I know it isn’t the same. But…I’ll be connected to you. I want to be, I mean. I’m…I care about you, Natalie. So much.”

I love you, Jackie finished in her head. I love you and I missed you and I understand you and I’m so fucking sorry I wasn’t there for you.

Nat blinked at her a few times.

“God, you’re a lot,” she said, lips pursed to hide a grin.

“I know,” Jackie smiled.

Close enough. This was close enough to reluctant acceptance for now. Jackie would take it.

“What’re you doing up, anyway?” Nat asked, running a flat palm roughly over her cheek.

“Nightmare,” Jackie answered, giving Nat the information she’d withheld from Tai and Van, offering her some vulnerability. “Shauna woke me up because I was…loud, I think. Talking and crying. Came down for something to eat.”

Nat nodded silently, giving Jackie a once-over.

“You’re in Shauna’s shirt and no fucking pants,” she smirked, rolling her eyes. “It’s really like we’re living out what our twenties would’ve been.”

Nat didn’t have to specify—Jackie knew exactly what she meant. All of them together, packed into cars and hotel rooms and vacation homes, drinking and laughing and arguing and fucking. If you stripped it down, took out the murder and the mess of it all, it was what they would’ve been. No crash. Or maybe…maybe post-crash. Post-crash, if they got rescued before everything went to absolute shit. Trauma bonded. Connected. Them against the world.

“Yeah,” Jackie sighed. “Do you think we would’ve been friends?”

Nat looked guarded—she hit Jackie with that suspicious look, the one that said she felt like something was expected of her. Too much at once. Jackie opened her mouth to smooth it over, but Nat’s expression softened. Her eyes went soft and hazy. She looked heavy with booze, suddenly, like she’d stopped pretending to be more sober than she was.

“Yeah. I think so.”

Jackie chewed her lip.

“I’m sorry. For…I’m sorry for hurting you. For being a…well, a total fucking bitch to you, really. Back then. It wasn’t fair.”

Nat snorted and shook her head.

“That water is so far under the fucking bridge, Jackie,” Nat scrubbed a hand over her face and let her arm fall above her head. “Stupid fucking kid shit. I wasn’t exactly an angel. But thanks.”

“I think you kind of were,” Jackie shrugged, “all things considered.”

Nat shook her foot back and forth quickly, black nail polish showing through a worn spot in the blue wool of her sock, her pinky toe hitting the wall and rebounding steadily.

“You think that about everybody. You’re in love with fucking Shauna.”

“That doesn’t mean I think she’s an angel,” Jackie laughed, “trust me.”

Three quiet knocks. Jackie and Nat both tilted their chins up, eyes on the door, like Nat had when Jackie first came in.

“Yeah?” Nat called.

Shauna pushed the door open and stepped inside, a tray in one hand. Unlike Jackie, she’d actually thought to put pajama bottoms on. She hovered in the doorway for a moment.

“And if you’re like a fucking dream walking in,” Nat grumbled to Jackie, “this one’s a nightmare.”

“Natalie,” Jackie snapped, slapping her shoulder gently before sitting up and turning around.

“A nightmare that cooked your ungrateful ass dinner,” Shauna sat down on the bed in front of Jackie and Nat swung herself up to face them, “and brought you dessert in bed.”

She set the tray between them, three forks laying on the edge.

“Alright,” Nat said, picking up a fork and tearing away a particularly large slice of apple, “you can stay. But only until this is gone.”

“Wow, so generous of you.”

Shauna handed Jackie a fork purposefully, without breaking eye contact with Nat. She was trying not to draw attention to it—to deal in subtleties and keep Jackie’s confidence. Shauna had always been good at that.

Jackie took steady bites, timing them with Natalie’s and Shauna’s, lifting her fork as one of them did, chewing with them, swallowing it down in tandem—something she learned to do with Van years ago.

Jackie mostly listened, chiming in only occasionally, while they each made snide comments and biting jokes at the other’s expense. As Shauna and Nat pretended not to care about each other, the mood in the room lifted. It felt safe. It felt like home, watching them spar lazily with their forks, like they were fighting over a particularly sweet bite, when really Jackie knew they were stalling, making sure to leave more food for her.

When they were finished, Nat waved off Jackie’s foolhardy offer—one that Shauna didn’t protest, one she went momentarily quiet and supportive and serious for—to have her come sleep in the large bed upstairs with them.

#jackie taylor #shauna shipman #jackie x shauna #natalie scatorccio #jackienat #yellowjackets #yellowjackets fic

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