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#"=⌕ unprofessional professionalism
teplejtrouba · 6 months
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a detective who has a partner🔍 and a partner💕 who are friends so the three of them end up doing a lof things together and the detective refers to them as "my partners" and doesn't realise this makes everyone think they're polyamorous (they do end up polyamorous by the end of the story)
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moonlume · 2 months
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tumblr said draw something bad so I did but I'm mad I still didn't feel anything
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welcometololaland · 9 months
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Are you ready to get (un)professional?
NOW COMPLETE
(UN)PROFESSIONAL SERVICES | CHAPTER 7/7 | TARLOS | E
Please see enclosed the seventh and final chapter of the unprofessional professional services Tarlos AU by @rmd-writes and I.
Thank you so much to @celeritas2997 for beta reading and for supervising our spiralling! 1000000 fruit baskets for you.
Chapter 1 - Identify the Lead
Chapter 2 - Connect with the Lead
Chapter 3 - Understand the Lead
Chapter 4 - Close the Deal (Part 1)
Chapter 5 - Close the Deal (Part 2)
Chapter 6 - Always have a Contingency Plan
Chapter 7 - Epilogue
As it turns out, the gods of the subway system are smiling down on TK today because their usual train is running just late enough for them to squeeze on at the last minute. He tries not to be too smug about it as he watches Carlos lean against the door of the packed carriage as it speeds through the tunnels, pretending to read the news on his phone.  He’s only made aware of the pretending part when Carlos looks up at him after a few minutes and whispers, “So, when can I return the favour?” Cottoning on to the innuendo, TK tries not to look too pleased and begs his body to behave – getting a hard on around so many people would be kind of problematic. “Tomorrow night,” he replies. “I’ll be expecting something good because that floor wasn’t easy on my knees.” Carlos fixes TK with a challenging look. “I’ll think about it,” he says softly. “I have time tonight, while I’m home alone with nothing else to do.” “I’m ditching my mom,” TK murmurs, trying to keep his tone conversational. “I just remembered I have plans.” “Mhm?” Carlos hums, evidently trying to retain the veneer of being politely engaged. “With your di—” “TK.” TK snorts. “Don’t start something you can’t finish, baby.”
Continue on Ao3
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alexiethymia · 1 year
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Millie (about Meryl): I admire Senpai very much! She’s so dedicated to her work, she’s practically married to the job!
(cue Millie pointing to Vash, stuffing his face with donuts and wearing a wedding ring)
Meryl: No, Millie, that’s not what that means…
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eternally-smitten · 5 months
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Drabblecember - Sharing Snacks
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pairing: Natalie x Trevor Philips
summary: Natalie makes popcorn for both a decoration and a snack
word count: 653
author's note: yeah I had no idea what I was doing with this but enjoy!
divider credit: benkeibear
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With a proud smile, Natalie plopped two large bowls of popcorn on the table and said, “There! I'm finally done with that!”
“Excellent, sugar,” Trevor's lips curled into a smile, “Why two bowls? One for you and one for me, I hope.”
She shook her head and clicked her tongue, “Tsk, tsk. Greedy, ain't ya? I want to use one of them as tree popcorn and the other bowl is for us to share. Unless you have an issue with that, Mr. Philips?”
“For the tree?”
“Yeah,”
“...Are you fucking serious.”
She knitted her eyebrows together, “What's with this hostility? Yes, I made popcorn to put on the tree.”
“Ya lost me.” He admitted. Trevor was starting to think his girlfriend had gone a little crazy.
She tilted her head to the side, “Have you never made like, popcorn garland for your Christmas tree?”
He sneered and shook his head no, “I've never even heard of doin’ that. I feel like you're making that shit up to mess with me.”
Natalie took an incredibly long piece of red thread and sat down next to him, fishing through the one bowl, “I'm not, jackass. This is a real thing real people do. Look it up! I'm tellin’ you I'm right!”
“Alright! I trust ya, I trust ya!” Trevor said, not trusting her at all, “Lemme help.”
So, Natalie handed him a sewing needle and made him be in sewing duty. Her job was to give him the unsalted popcorn when the last piece was secured on the thread. Since it was a pretty easy job, she went back and forth between giving him the decoration popcorn and the buttered kind she made to eat. 
“Open,” She commanded quietly. 
Trevor didn't look at her and opened his mouth slightly, not really thinking about it. His eyes and hands were focused on making the garland he wasn't entirely sure was a real thing amongst other families. She placed the buttery piece in his mouth and went back to giving him the plain ones. 
He hummed, “Mm, thanks.”
“Sure,” Natalie grabbed a handful of the salted kind and started to munch on it, “I couldn't let you starve, poor thing. You looked so frightened when I said we had to share a bowl.”
He snorted, “No, I was more offended that you made an entire fuckin’ bowl for the tree and not one for just me.”
She feigned being hurt, “Do you really hate sharing with me, your prized girlfriend, that much? Gosh, my heart…I think it's breaking!”
“Don't get all dramatic on me!” Trevor's raspy laugh echoed in the room, “I just like how ya make popcorn. That's all there is to it, doll.”
“You can always make your own if you feel like I'm depriving you of sustenance.”
“Will ya stop with that?” He elbowed her, making her laugh, “And you know damn well you have forbidden me from even entering the kitchen.”
“Hmm,” Natalie slid another piece in his mouth, “True. Especially after that one time you almost burnt the place down after trying to make ramen.”
“That was an accident!”
“How the hell you almost made a fire with boiling water is beyond me.”
As retaliation for that, he grabbed a fist full of the plain popcorn and threw it at Natalie, “Shut up! It was one fuckin’ time!”
She erupted in boisterous laughter, “You dick! I'm making you clean that up!”
“That's what you get for saying this popcorn decoration is a real thing.”
“It is a real thing, asshat!”
They bickered back and forth like that until the garland was finished. They continued to argue when they were hanging it on the tree. Eventually, Natalie grew frustrated and forced him to watch numerous Christmas specials to prove that they made popcorn for that intention. Without either of them realizing it, though, the edible popcorn bowl grew emptier as they shared it. 
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Tag list: @blood-moon-ships @bobmckenzie @kylars-princess @gideongrovel @felixrichtershubby @fates-theysband @cherrypieships @bioexorcizm @lieutenantselnia lmk if you want to be added/removed! ♡
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risingsunresistance · 6 months
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i need to pay a subscription for some kind of documentary service but i dont want your standard documentaries. where else am i gonna find some guy talking about the history of the brown lego pieces other than youtube. but youtube's algorithm absolutely WILL NOT recommend me content longer than 30 minutes no matter how hard i try, it refuses to believe i could possibly enjoy anything other than shortform content
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bonebrokebuddy · 2 years
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If I’m not able to pull up the DSM-5 and check off at least half of the criteria for autism when reading a Batman run, then I believe the author fundamentally misunderstands Batman’s character.
It’s not that I’m saying Bruce should be autistic. What I am saying is that if Bruce is not at least neurodivergent-coded then he ultimately loses nearly all of his most defining habits and personality traits. Expecially the ones that are shown through interacting with other characters & internal dialogue.
#batman#dc comics#bruce wayne#dc#most of his defining characteristics are autistic traits#low empathy and being able to process your emotions#having a very strong sense of Justice and What Is Right#only feeling emotions in the extremes or feeling nothing#it’s to the point for me where anger gives almost the same feeling as being happy#just because it’s as intense of an emotion that it almost feels the same#and as someone who has gone to therapy for many years to understand that while anger is an easier way to feel emotions#seeking happiness is not only healthier but makes you not a shit person to be around#that was me who learned that. Bruce simply did not#so therefore: anger & rage & pain help him feel#so he deliberately seeks it out#he’s also very awkward at talking to people#not to fucking mention he’s more comfortable talking to people in a professional setting than in an unprofessional one#he has difficulty processing and expressing emotions and just ASSUMES that people know what they mean to him#instead of telling them. this leads to Many communication issues where people around Bruce don’t feel appreciated or loved because he#NEVER FUCKING TELLS THEM AND JUST ASSUMES THEY KNOW! NO THEY DO NOT BRUCE YOU ACTUALLY NEED TO TELL THEM#his exceptionally dry humor is exactly my autistic sense of humor#lightly making fun of friends or lying about stuff obviously with a straight face and deadpan delivery#his nonverbal ‘hnm’s#his hyporeactivity to sensory input and pain are also very telling#his communication issues because he’s on a different wavelength than those around him#i could go on and on and on but that’s all for now#actually autistic
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dollsarcadia · 10 months
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femmefeedist · 1 year
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That gut just looks unprofessional.
You think anyone is going to trust a girl with a muffin top with any kind of real responsibility?
Hell, you can't even keep your weight in order.
How can you be expected to manage anything important if you can't stick to a diet? How can you supervise anything when you look like you need someone to monitor your eating habits?
That new fat roll around your waist is inexcusable. You've literally gone soft. It makes you look lazy, uncommitted, dull, and content. You're falling behind and letting yourself go at the same time.
So suck it in and get your act together if you want a chance of keeping your spot, lest a fitter, sharper newcomer notices your weakness and swoops in to steal your position.
fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck I just melted into a pile of pudge
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pigeonpeach · 2 months
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Got my first hate ask today! Friendly reminder that the unfollow button is literally easy to access and completely fucking free. If you don’t like my content then don’t follow its simple as that. Also there is in fact something called a block button if I keep showing up on your feed unwanted.
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laluvlidovezgal · 4 months
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𝐈 𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐁𝐁𝐆 😘😘💗💗💗💗
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have my whole heart dear 🫂🫂🫂🥰🥰😍😍😘😘💕💕🫶🫶
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welcometololaland · 9 months
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The first chapter will be posted Sunday, 13 August 2023.
Borne of our actual hatred of business development and networking events, @rmd-writes and I have created (Un)professional Services: 6 chapters and 60,000 words of corporate-Tarlos chaos, to be posted over 6 weeks.
This project was the result of many many hours of no one telling us "no", including each other, and the answer to everything being "yes, and then what if...":
There are hot people at networking events?
We make Owen the most chaotic he’s ever been?
Gwyn lives and roasts TK at every opportunity?
Carlos spirals like a zoodle?
TK has to endure seeing Carlos in a suit all the time?
A law firm makes corporate branded condoms?
Fire safety training is an ongoing and slightly unexplained theme?
Stay tuned to find out the answer to some of these and more.
A thousand forehead kisses and fruit baskets for @celeritas2997 for letting us derail the gc over this so many times and for beta reading!
Summary below just because we like to tease:
TK Strand has been an attorney long enough to know that networking events with accounting firms offer little more than terrible wine that he doesn’t drink, uninspiring small talk and a stack of identical-looking business cards.  Until he takes Nancy up on a bet and winds up having all of his preconceived ideas about business development being challenged by an accountant who is very far from boring. The Tarlos Professional Services AU.
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vinilsoup · 3 months
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I'm so mad at my neighbors, like this lady is a neuropsyhologist, and I mentioned getting treatment by the public healthcare (and private) and being denied multiple times bc I either was "too normal" or had to go to a psych ward according to them. Her husband asked what my diagnosis was, I didn't want to say bc I had just met them, but got embarassed said the truth, I believe I have autism and have been diagnosed multiple times with bpd.
She procceded to undiagnose me, talking like I had nothing wrong with me, specially not autism since all adults she worked with who thought they had autism didn't, bc autistic people "don't have the same perception of themselves like us so a true autistic doesn't notice it" which is outdated bullshit. I ain't even need to go to doctors anymore for them to get one look at me and tell me I'm normal I just want attention.
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itspileofgoodthings · 4 months
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I talk a lot about teaching and all the good parts of it and the powerful parts of it and it’s all true and also there is something so deeply messy and ugly and raw and painful about the real life exchange of it all and how much I just put myself on the line to communicate a truth and how little I get given back in any tangible or metaphysical way.
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perilegs · 4 months
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can someone pick me a new ear piercing to get, here's my current layout
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eternally-smitten · 5 months
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Drabblecember - Baking Together
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pairing: Natalie x Trevor Philips
summary: Trevor feels a bit bad about not being as good at baking as Natalie, but he tries to keep up anyway
word count: ~1.2k
author's note: okay so I guess I'm just obsessed with writing baking fics with Trevor because this is the third one I've written with this exact prompt LOL. this also ended up being a lot more angsty than I initially intended?? wack.
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“God fucking dammit!” Trevor winced as he cracked the egg too hard, getting goopy yolk all over the counter.
“Hey, don’t do that.” Natalie said in a monotone voice without looking up from her bowl.
He slowly turned his head to shoot her a glare that she couldn’t see, “Gee, thanks. We should really bake together more often, don’t ya think?”
She sniggered and peered at him from over her glasses, “You’re the one that wanted to do this with me, hon. Don’t blame me for your idea.”
That was true. Trevor has watched her bake all the time and always felt bad for leaving her to her own devices. He figured it couldn’t be that hard so he asked her if they could do something together. Natalie suggested cookies since they’re usually easiest to make and he happily agreed. But here he was, covered in raw egg and trying his best to scoop tiny pieces of shell out of the bowl.
“I’m sorry, here,” She pulled him to the side and took his spot, “Roll the dough into balls after washing your hands. I’ll do this for you.”
He grumbled a little as he ran his hands under the warm water, “Can’t trust me to do it myself?”
She fished the piece of shell out with her fingernail and flicked it in the trash can, “No, it’s not that. You were just gettin’ frustrated and I wanted you to actually have fun with me.”
Trevor’s hard face softened a little at that, “Aw, darlin’, I always have fun with ya. I’m just shit at eggs.”
“Oh, trust me, I know.” Natalie joked, “That’s why I won’t let you make them anymore. That’s my job.”
“Hey now!” He dipped his now clean hands into the flour bag and wiped a little on her nose, “I’ve made good eggs before!”
She crossed her eyes to look at the white dusty spot on her nose, “Sorry T, I don’t count ‘slightly burnt’ scrambled eggs as ‘good’.”
Trevor chuckled at her crossed eyes and started to roll some already made dough into little balls, “It counts in my book, doll.”
He cradled the cookie dough carefully in his hands and mimicked what he watched Natalie do just moments before. Baking came so naturally to her and he couldn’t wrap his head around it. She made it look so easy but he struggled with it a bit. Cookies were easiest, she said. He couldn’t help but feel a bit bad about himself. He felt almost helpless compared to her.
He realized he was rolling the same ball of dough for the past few minutes now, so he cleared his throat and presented it to Natalie, “Uh, how’s this?”
“Perfect!” She praised, “Just plop it on the tray over there and make a few more!”
“Alright,” Trevor did as he was told and moved on to the next piece of dough. Once again, he replayed how she did it and followed it as closely as his memory would let him. 
Nothing usually got to him this bad. Work? Hardly ever unless someone really pissed him off. Heists? Never unless Michael pissed him off. Ron or Wade? They were just pests, really. But baking with Natalie? He was more anxious than he let on. It wasn’t even that he didn’t entirely know what he was doing although that was part of it. It was more the fact that he wanted to impress her. Trevor wanted Natalie to see someone she could be proud of. Someone to say “That’s mine! He made these great cookies with me!” and to say it with pride. But whenever he was in the kitchen, he felt like a bumbling fool who was out of his element.
“T?” Natalie asked, pulling him out of his head, “Are you alright?”
“Huh?” He looked at her for the first time since he started rolling this second ball, “Yeah, yeah, I’m fine, darlin’. Just fine. Why?”
She scrunched her nose up, a telltale sign that she didn’t believe him, “You’ve been rolling that ball and staring into the sink for like, five minutes.”
“Oh,” He threw the ball on the tray and went to grab more to make another, “Sorry about that.”
Her hand grabbed his wrist gently and pulled it away, “Come on, don’t do that. What’s up?”
“Nothin’.”
She sighed, “If you’re not enjoying yourself, you can just tell me. I won’t be offended. I know I’m not…the easiest to work with.”
“No, no!” Trevor grabbed her face with his dough covered hands, “That ain’t it at all.”
“Then what?”
He froze and sighed, “I just ain’t good at this like you. I dunno, I wish I was better, I guess.”
“Is that it?” She squeezed his bicep reassuringly, “Oh, T, it’s okay. I wasn’t good at this when I started. Hell, I still fuck up!”
“I find that hard to believe, sugar.” Trevor gave her a skeptical look.
“No, really!” She giggled, “Man, the first cake I ever made was a mess! My god, I filled my little cake pan too much and the damn thing exploded in the oven. My entire house smelled like burnt cake for the rest of the day.”
He let out a raspy, halfhearted laugh, “That actually sounds kind of good.”
Natalie shook her head and gave him a dead serious look, “You’d think so but no. Absolutely disgusting. Don’t even get me started on the shit show that was decorating that same cake.”
“You’re tellin’ me you tried to frost it after?” Trevor asked, cocking an eyebrow up.
“I wasn’t going to waste that whole cake!” She paused to think about that memory, “Even though I actually did end up chucking it because it was too destroyed to be saved. Anyway, my point is that I’m not perfect. Both in general and at baking. I’m not gonna judge you for slipping up and making a mistake.”
He shrugged, “I just wanna make you proud, honey.”
Natalie frowned a little, “But you do.”
“Aw, shucks. Now you’re makin’ me blush.” He joked with a hint of sincerity in his voice.
“And listen, as much as I love being touched and held by you, your hands are uh, really sticky.” She grimaced a little at the feeling on her skin, “Would you mind uh-” “Oh!” He let go of her face and gave her an awkward smile, “My mistake.”
She giggled and wiped the residue off with her hand, “Jeez, you even got a chocolate chip on me! Gross.”
A devilish smirk spread across his face, “Here, why don’t I clean it off for ya?”
Before she could reply, Trevor practically pounced on her and licked a stripe up her cheek.
“Oh, my God!” Natalie squealed, her voice cracking, “Gross! Don’t eat raw cookie dough, you heathen!”
He laughed and hugged her tightly, giving her a swift peck on the cheek, “You always know how to make me feel better, darlin’. Even when you’re lecturing me.”
After that, he felt a bit more confident in the kitchen. Soon enough, they were ready to pop their cookies in the oven and wait for them to be ready. Just like Natalie said, she still made mistakes because she accidentally left them in for too long and the edges turned black. Even then, because they were made with love, they tasted perfect to Trevor.
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