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Bullets and Ballgowns Chapter 3

Series Summary: In the summer of 1813, the arrival of a new family in Brighton causes much excitement for the townsfolk. Anna Foster is shocked to realize she has already met the elder of the two sons, Dean. As she gets to know the family better, she must fight her feelings for him. Though she finds herself drawn to him, it is impossible that they could ever be together.

Word Count: 4.3k

A/N: Once again, so sorry for the long wait. I knew it had been a while but didn't realize it was a little over a month since the last chapter now. I'm still excited about this story and have so many ideas for it, and I spend a lot of time planning it out. Unfortunately, I'm having a really hard time making myself sit down and actually write it though. I actually already have a small start on chapter 4, so I really hope it won't take so long before the next update, but I can't make any promises. Hope you enjoy!

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(Whoops. Completely forgot about the header picture, so still don't have that. It'll probably show up eventually...)

The tea at the Winchester’s house came and went. It had been a pleasant experience. Mrs. Winchester was much as Anna had expected based on her mother’s stories. A bright, friendly woman who was easy to talk to. The three of them had a wonderful afternoon together talking about anything and everything. Anna even got a chance to have a short conversation with Sam when he came into the drawing room shortly before she and her mother left. Yes, it had been a very pleasant afternoon.

The carriage ride home had been less so.

“Anna, we need to talk, darling,” her mother said shortly after leaving.

“Ok,” Anna agreed warily. Those words were rarely followed by good news.

Her mother seemed to hesitate, thinking over her words. After a moment, she sighed. “You must know that I want the best for you, that all a mother ever wants for her daughter is for her to be happy. For her to have all the things she'll ever need in life, and even for her to have all the things she wants.” Anna nodded in understanding, but there was a small frown of confusion on her face.

“That's what I would wish for you,” her mother continued. “But you know as well as I that we don't always get what we want.” Anna could tell this last part was very meaningful to her mother, but she had no idea what her point was.

“I know that,” she said when her mother seemed to be waiting for a response.

“Then let me remind you that you are engaged.”

Anna stiffened slightly. She wasn't entirely sure what she was being accused of, but she did not like the turn this conversation had taken. “I haven't forgotten.” And then, after a brief pause, “I’m not sure what your point is, Mama.”

“There's no need to be so defensive, darling. I do not mean to reprimand you, only to give you a reminder and a warning. I know Mr. Sanders may not have been your first choice, but-”

“Not my first choice?” Anna asked incredulously. “He wasn't my choice at all! Papa planned it all out while I was visiting Aunt Jane in London! He may have sent a letter asking if I would agree to the arrangement, but it was more formality than anything. How could I possibly have said no when all the gentlemen were in agreement and not really concerned with my opinions?

“You must remember what it was like to be a young girl. To know how pointless and even foolish it is to hope to be one of the rare few who get to marry for love. But the problem with hope is that you can't just turn it off and stop feeling it, no matter how you might tell yourself to.

“So yes, it's what I expected for myself. And I know Mr. Sanders is a good option and I should count myself lucky to spend my life with a kind young gentleman like him. I know I could have been promised to someone truly awful. But fortunate as I may be as far as arranged marriages go, it is still not what I hoped for for myself! I do not love him! I suppose I shall have to learn to one day, but until then I cannot just turn off my disappointment. That does not mean I don't plan to marry him or that I've forgotten about our engagement.”

“I am glad to hear it, though I did not think otherwise.”

“But you said-”

“I said I wanted to remind you, yes. I also said I wanted to warn you. I did not mean I was reminding you in the sense that I worried you’d forgotten, but in the sense that I want you to be careful. I do remember what it’s like to be a girl wishing for love. I remember what it feels like to meet a gentleman you hope will be that man. And I know what it looks like too. That’s not how you look at Mr. Sanders. Nor would I expect you to,” she hurriedly added, seeing the protest in Anna’s eyes. “After all, you hardly know the man. Perhaps that should change? It is perfectly possible for you to fall in love with him if you only take the time to get to know him.”

“It will be a long while before we are married, Mama. I imagine we shall have ample opportunity to get to know each other. Besides, he hardly seems worried about spending his time with me. What am I to do when he offers me only the barest amount of attention he can without seeming impolite?”

“Do not take it personally, darling. He is young and unsure of how to handle the situation. It does not mean he does not wish to know you,” her mother assured her.

“I know that. I can see that in his own way he is trying. But you cannot expect me to get to know him when doing so is entirely dependent on him.”

Her mother sighed in exasperation. “Alright, fine. If you cannot spend more time with your fiance, then perhaps instead you should be spending less time with other gentlemen.”

“Mama!” Anna cried. “You expect me to spend the whole season sitting on the edge of ballrooms, turning away any gentleman who offers a dance? Because I do not love the fiance that I did not choose for myself?”

“It is not because you are not in love. You can hardly help that. I only hoped you could make it easier on yourself by getting to know him so you could be in love. And I do not expect you to turn away every gentleman. Just the one.”

“I still do not know what you are talking about,” Anna huffed out a little more angrily than she intended. She was certain she had done nothing to deserve this warning from her mother.

Her mother sighed again, this time in resignation. In a calm, placating tone she said, “I told you I know what it looks like when a young lady has more than a passing interest in a gentleman. I see it plain as day on your face when you speak to Mr. Winchester.”

Her confusion must have shown clearly on her face. She thought back to her short conversation with Sam that afternoon and wondered how her mother could have interpreted it as anything more than friendship.

If she’d only asked instead of making assumptions, we could have avoided this whole unpleasant ride, Anna thought bitterly to herself.

“Mama, you misunderstand my feelings. His feelings as well.” Her mother’s raised eyebrow was all the prompting she needed to continue. “Whatever it is you think you saw between us this afternoon, you are wrong. He is my friend. That is all.”

It was her mother’s turn to be confused, but it was quickly replaced with understanding. “I do not mean the younger Mr. Winchester,” she informed her.

Her meaning was clear enough. Anna fought against the panic that threatened to take control at those words and said calmly, “I’ve only spoken to him a couple of times, Mama. I barely know him.”

“Perhaps. But I know you. I saw how he caught your attention at the ball. I cannot fault you for that. After all, he is quite a handsome young man. I saw him catch the eye of many young ladies that night.” Anna knew how intentional this seemingly innocent statement was. Her mother was watching her carefully for a reaction. She was careful not to give her one. “Noticing a handsome face is not what concerns me,” she continued.

“I saw you when you danced that night, and again when you walked at the park two days ago. The way you look at him… well you don’t look at anyone else that way. Certainly not Mr. Sanders. It’s like you’re hanging on to his every word. Like you do not dare look away from him or he may disappear and you’ll find out his existence was just some great trick. That is what concerns me.”

“You need not be concerned, Mama.”

“Do not lie to me, Anna,” her mother commanded, more disappointed than angry.

“I am not lying! Whatever it is you think you saw, he is my friend. Just as his brother is.”

“Not just as his brother is,” her mother disagreed.

“Yes! He knows I am engaged and has asked specifically if I might be his friend. So you see, there is nothing to worry about. I will not be creating a scandal by encouraging Mr. Winchester’s attentions when I am already engaged.”

“My dear, I never thought such a thing. I am not worried about a scandal, I am worried for your heart. I do not want it to break.” Anna started to protest, but her mother was quick to cut her off. “Deny it as much as you wish, but I know what I saw. I am only suggesting that perhaps you should end your friendship now, before you fall too much in love and end up getting hurt.”

~~~~~

It was three weeks later and Anna was walking by herself, replaying this conversation. In those three weeks, this year’s social season had meant frequent balls and teas and picnics. Keeping to his promise of being friends, Mr. Winchester had sought out her company at each and every function. She told herself it was harmless, that there had been no flirting of any kind from him and so as long as she kept herself in check – which she absolutely would – there was no reason to worry.

And she still firmly believed that. But she couldn’t deny that the more she got to know him, the more strongly she felt for him. It was getting harder and harder to imagine a life where she was only allowed to be his friend, without ever having the chance of even a hope for more.

Maybe it was time to bring this friendship of theirs to an end. It would be humiliating, of course, the conversation she would have to have with him to explain things. But in order to protect her own heart, she thought it might be necessary.

She was so lost in these thoughts that she wasn’t paying attention to where she was going. She had walked further than normal, going well past the boundary of her family’s land and heading into what was miles and miles of nothing but grass and hills and woods.

She sighed at the realization of how far she’d gone and had just started to turn around when something in her peripheral vision made her stop. She looked up and gasped in fear. A low, warning growl accompanied a single step forward by the large wolf. It was a dark gray color, with matted fur and a torn ear. Its teeth were bared as it stared Anna down from a dozen yards away.

Heart racing and breath catching in her throat, Anna kept one eye on the wolf as she started scanning the rock and branch strewn ground for something she could use to defend herself. Most of the rocks were too big for her to lift, most of the broken off branches too small and weak to be a defense, more large sticks than true branches.

Anna knew better than to turn her back on a predator. She kept one eye on the animal as she slowly took a step back, still searching the ground. The wolf didn’t appear to like her moving and he let out another threatening growl. Anna froze. She didn’t want to provoke him into attacking, but she also couldn’t sit there defenseless and just wait for it to happen. She took another cautious step backwards. And another. The wolf continued his growling, but didn’t approach. Everything went wrong on her fourth step back.

Two large rocks that she hadn’t seen sat side by side, pressed against each other. Her foot knocked against them, right at the point where they met. She wobbled, fighting desperately to keep her balance. In the end, gravity won out and she fell down. Hard. The force of her fall wedged her foot between those two rocks and she knew it wasn’t coming back out easily. Her quick movement and obvious vulnerability provoked the wolf into a charge. A noticeable limp slowed him, but Anna still only had seconds.

She yanked uselessly at her foot, hoping she could somehow manage to pull it free as she looked for anything nearby that she could so much as lift. There was a sturdy looking stick to her left, not as sturdy as she would have liked, but she had no other option. She picked it up just as a great boom shattered the air. Anna ducked reflexively before realizing how incredibly stupid that was. She hefted her stick, ready to swing, only to see the wolf crumpled and unmoving about five feet in front of her.

“Are you all right?” A voice asked from her right. Anna turned her head in the direction of the voice to see a man, gun in hand, running towards her. Of course if she’d been able to think clearly she would have recognized the voice immediately. It wasn’t until the man was kneeling in front of her, repeating his question, that the shock wore off and she took in the very concerned face of Dean Winchester.

“I’m all right,” she answered a little dazedly. “Thanks to you, I suppose,” she added, noting the gun sitting on the ground beside them and putting two and two together.

His head bowed down and a breath escaped his lips, his shoulders shaking with the force of it. “Thank God,” she heard him say quietly to himself. When he looked up again and his eyes met hers, she could see the relief written across his face. “Good,” he said. “Then let’s get you home.”

Under normal circumstances she would have turned down the offer. Innocent as it may be, if they were to be seen walking alone together, assumptions would be made and rumors spread. This was not a normal circumstance though – something which could be explained on the off chance they ran into anyone – and she found herself incredibly grateful to have company. The safe path she traveled frequently no longer felt safe, and she didn’t want to make the journey alone.

“Yes, please,” she agreed easily. Mr. Winchester chuckled as he stood and offered his hand. Anna started to reach for it, but then remembered her foot.

“I’m afraid my foot is rather badly stuck,” she informed him.

“Oh! Well I- I mean can you-” Mr. Winchester fumbled with his words for a moment and then cleared his throat. “Do you need me to help, or can you get it on your own?” He finally managed to say. Anna noticed the slightest red tint to his cheeks and couldn’t help but think how cute it was to see the normally confident man so ruffled.

“I believe I may need some help,” she admitted. It was possible she could do it on her own, but it would be difficult. Better to save time and just ask for assistance now.

“Alright,” he agreed, voice sounding a little rough. As he once again knelt down beside her, Anna realized why Mr. Winchester had briefly struggled for words. In order to help her, he would have to touch her. She found herself fighting down her own blush at the thought.

This is perfectly acceptable, she told herself. Not that anyone was likely to be walking by, but even if they did, they could find nothing wrong with this interaction. It was only a gentleman helping a lady in distress. Something he seems to be particularly good at, she thought wryly.

All humor faded and her breath caught in her throat as he reached for her. He carefully lifted the hem of her skirt, just enough to see her foot and the rocks holding it captive. He studied the scene for a moment and then gently grabbed the heel of her foot, cautiously wiggling it first side to side and then up and down to see how tightly it was stuck. He let her foot go and looked contemplatively at the rocks. “I should be able to move this rock enough for you to pull your foot out.”

Anna looked at the rock doubtfully. It was large enough to be heavy even for a man of Mr. Winchester’s size and could be partially buried snugly in the earth. It would not move easily. “Are you sure?” she asked as he grabbed hold of it with both hands.

“The alternative is to yank on your foot until it comes loose, something I fear will cause you a great deal of pain. I’ll be able to move it,” he told her confidently when he saw her doubt. “Ready?”

Anna nodded. She watched his fingers turn white against the rock as he tried to pull it toward himself. No doubt, the muscles in his arms were tensed and visibly straining, but she couldn’t tell with his suit coat covering the evidence. It took only a couple of seconds before she felt the pressure against her ankle lessen. She was quick to lift her foot, not wasting any precious seconds. It was still a tight fit, and the rough surfaces of the rocks pressed her boot into her skin, bruising instead of scraping the skin raw. It didn’t feel good, but it wasn’t long before she was free.

Mr. Winchester let go of the rock, face red from exertion. “Does it hurt?” he asked.

“It hurts a little,” she admitted, downplaying the pain. It hurt more than a little, but she wasn’t about to complain. “But I believe I can walk.”

His lips quirked into a smile and, as it always did when he smiled at her, Anna’s heart skipped a beat. “I’m glad to hear it,” he said as he stood up. “But that will not be necessary. Kaz is quite capable of carrying you.”

Anna frowned. Who was Kaz? She hadn’t even realized anyone else was here and she certainly didn’t need to be carried. She took the hand he offered to help her up, wincing slightly as she put pressure on her right foot. She quickly adjusted, resting her weight on her left foot. “Kaz?”

“My horse,” he explained. And then, in a teasing tone, “How else do you think I got here?”

“I don’t know. I hadn’t really thought about it, I suppose.” She tried not to be embarrassed by her oversight. After all, she had a perfectly good reason. She looked over his shoulder, in the direction he had come running from and noticed the large, jet black mare standing there grazing as she patiently waited for her rider to return. “Wow,” she breathed out. “She’s beautiful.” Mr. Winchester beamed with pride.

“She is,” he agreed. He started in her direction and Anna followed, wincing when she stepped on her bad foot. Mr. Winchester noticed of course, and instructed her to stay put. He grabbed his discarded gun off the ground and put it back into the holster tied to the saddle before grabbing the reins and leading the horse over.

“I know she’s big, but she’s gentle as they come,” he promised. Anna hadn’t been worried. She loved horses, almost as much as she loved music. She was awestruck at the sight of the powerful creature, and giddy at the idea of riding her. Mr. Winchester settled his hands on her waist and, after asking her if she was ready, lifted her up onto his horse’s back. Anna steadied herself in the saddle and then reached out to pet Kaz’s soft, warm neck. Reins in hand, Mr. Winchester encouraged the horse into a walk and started off in the direction of Anna’s house.

“Why do you suppose he was all the way out here?” Anna wondered aloud. “I’ve never seen a wolf this close to home. I’ve never even heard of anyone seeing one around here.”

“He was desperate,” Mr. Winchester answered. “Did you see how badly he was limping? He was likely very hungry and not strong enough to catch anything, especially on his own, so he was hoping to find an easy kill like a chicken or a sheep.”

Anna hummed, considering this explanation. It certainly made sense. “And what about you?” she asked. “What are you doing all the way out here?” At a guess, this particular stretch of road was over five miles from his house. It was a long way to go just for a ride.

“I was just coming out for a hunt,” he explained. Of course, Anna thought. She should have realized that. In the time she had known him, she had learned that Mr. Winchester was an avid hunter. According to him, there was little he enjoyed more. “Good thing too, or I wouldn’t have been over this way. I certainly wouldn’t have had a gun.”

“Yes, I am grateful you were there. I don’t know that the stick I found would have been enough to deter him, no matter how hard I hit him with it. At the very least I would have been quite hurt, but I do believe it is safe to say that you saved my life. Thank you.”

“You do not owe me your thanks,” he was quick to say. “I am very glad I was here. I cannot even stand to think about what would have happened otherwise.” Though he tried to hide it, Anna caught the emotion in his voice. He took a breath before changing the subject. “And you? What on earth were you doing all the way out here by yourself?”

“Just walking.”

“Do you usually walk so far from home?”

“No. I was a little caught up in my thoughts today,” she admitted shyly. “I didn’t realize how far I’d gone. I was just about to turn around when I saw the wolf.”

“What were you thinking about so intently?” Mr. Winchester asked. “It must have been terribly interesting to make you so unaware of your surroundings.”

Anna’s breath hitched a little. Not ten minutes ago she had come to the decision she needed to say goodbye to Mr. Winchester. Now here he was, and he wanted to know what she was thinking. If there was ever an opening, this was certainly it. But she found she couldn’t do it. Maybe it was because he had just saved her life and that was a truly poor way to repay him. That seemed a good enough explanation for her hesitation. But if she was honest with herself, Anna knew that the idea of explaining her feelings and asking him to leave her alone was one thing. The reality was a whole other beast, one she could not face. As much as she knew she should, she couldn’t bear the idea of losing his friendship.

“Nothing worth talking about, really,” she answered. The brief glance he threw her way told her all she needed to know. He didn’t buy it. He wasn’t about to push though. “Tell me about Kaz,” she said instead.

Mr. Winchester seemed pleased with her change in topic. “She’s the best horse you’ll find anywhere,” he said affectionately as he patted her on the neck. “She’s strong and smart and quick and she’ll do anything you ask of her.”

“She might be the best looking horse I’ve seen,” Anna offered. She didn’t say it for Mr. Winchester’s benefit, she meant it. There wasn’t a drop of white to be found on the gorgeous mare. Her mane and tail were long and full and soft looking. She was tall and broad and muscular. Even the most amateur horseman could see with one look what a wellbuilt horse she was. “How long have you had her?”

“Raised her myself,” he answered proudly. “She was born out of one of my father’s old mares when I was sixteen. I knew I had to have her. I begged my father for weeks and finally he told me if I put in the effort, if I took care of her and broke her when she was old enough, then she was mine. So I did.” He sounded happy in the way he only did when talking about the things he truly loved.

“Have you ever had a real bond with a horse?” He asked. “Not just a horse that you liked better than all the others, but a real bond? The kind of bond where, when you ride them, it’s like everything is right in the world. Where you know each other so well that it sometimes feels like you can actually read each other’s minds. Where you trust them completely.”

“No,” I answered truthfully, “but it sounds wonderful. She sounds wonderful.”

He looked at the horse with a fond smile. “She’s a one in a million kind of horse.”

Perfect for a one in a million kind of man, she thought.

~~~~~

Her mother was in a tizzy by the time they reached the house, worried by how long Anna had been gone. Seeing her return home with a gentleman – and particularly this gentleman – unchaperoned, only made matters worse. Anna saw the barely contained fury on her face. Until she saw the way Anna favored her ankle after Mr. Winchester helped her off of his horse. Anna hurried to explain what happened as Mr. Winchester helped her to the door. Then the calm, well-mannered lady Anna was used to disappeared as her mother swung between worrying excessively over the whole situation – and Anna’s ankle especially – and profusely thanking Mr. Winchester, all but demanding that he stay for lunch.

Knowing there is only so much one can do in the face of a grateful mother insistent on showing her gratitude, he agreed easily. When Anna protested that surely he wished to go on the hunt he had intended, or possibly to head home, he waved her off, assuring her he was happy to stay. She only hoped he didn’t regret that decision if her mother’s newfound craziness decided to stick around.

A/N 2: First of all, I want to acknowledge the time jump. Initially I planned on this chapter being about the tea at the Winchester's, but then I realized a) I had no idea what in the world to have them talk about and b) too many chapters in a row of just talking gets boring. So I skipped ahead a little bit to add something a little more exciting. Also, let's talk about Kaz. I got the idea for this from another story, Dust by @ravengirl94. Was this person the first to come up with the idea of a black horse named Kaz? No idea. But that's where I heard it, so credit where credit's due. And it's a great series, so if you haven't read it before, check it out!

Tags:

@123passwort @buckybarnes-1917 @chicken-nuggs-and-cozy-hugs @globetrotter28 @deans-spinster-witch @aylacavebear

#bullets and ballgowns #supernatural #fanfiction #dean winchester #original characters #original female character #dean winchester x ofc #non hunting au #regency era

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