slingsandaros-blog

[slingsandaros-blog]

i drew,,,,,,,robo..

#^w^ #cutie #whirl #tf #transformers #mtmte #qd

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#wat #lol #cats #kitteh #qd

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Batman Villains + Text Posts

#XD #batman #lol #qd

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GAY BEST FRIEND 2013

#good #i approve #for later #for me

[slingsandaros-blog]

World’s Okayest LGBT Collection!

With Pride coming around soon I made some cute and comical World’s Okayest shirts for the LGBT community I hope you guys like them!  <3<3<3

Visit the Collection Here!

#aro #aromantic #ace #asexual #pride #lgbtqa pride

[slingsandaros-blog]

You might be aromantic if...

Aromanticism can be really hard to figure out, especially since we’re often not sure what “romantic attraction” is supposed to be, so I made a list of things I’ve often seen in myself and other aromantic-spectrum people.

These are just generalizations. They won’t apply to every aromantic-spectrum person; and some non-aromantic people will have some of these things, too. Some of the list items are contradictory. Having any of the experiences listed below is not proof that you’re aromantic, nor are you any less aromantic if few of them apply to you. But if you’ve been trying to figure out your romantic orientation, and a lot of these sound really familiar to you…then it may mean something.

I also made a list of words relevant to aro-spectrum people in case that helps.

When you discovered the word “aromantic,” it felt like something finally clicked into place for you.

Identifying as aromantic makes you feel relieved, free, happy, or more like yourself.

When you discovered the concept of a “squish” suddenly a lot of things made more sense to you.

You have trouble telling the difference between romantic and friendly feelings.

You’ve never had a crush on someone, or fallen in love.

You’re not sure if you’ve ever had a crush on someone or fallen in love.

You have trouble telling the difference between a crush and a squish, or between romantic and aesthetic/sexual/sensual attraction.

You have doubted whether crushes or love really exist, or if they’re just cultural constructs.

You find romance boring, annoying or upsetting when it appears in fiction, even if it’s written well.

You once thought that having a crush on someone meant you admired them or really wanted to be their friend.

You thought crushes were something you consciously decided to have, and selected an acquaintance or celebrity to be your crush, because everyone else was doing it.

You forgot which acquaintance or celebrity you were supposed to have a crush on.

If you’re not asexual, a “friends with benefits” relationship sounds ideal to you.

You have trouble relating, or feeling involved, when your friends discuss their romantic relationships or romantic feelings.

Falling in love doesn’t seem very exciting to you.

You don’t understand why other people make such a big deal out of having crushes or falling in love.

You don’t understand why people do ridiculous, irrational or over-the-top things in the name of love.

You don’t understand why finding someone sexually/aesthetically attractive would lead you to want a committed relationship with them.

Or, maybe you sort of understand those things in an abstract way, but you can’t really relate to them.

You have never had a romantic relationship - not because you couldn’t get one, but because you just never really bothered to try, or you liked being single better.

When a romantic relationship gets serious, it makes you feel cold, distant or uncomfortable.

Getting a romantic partner feels more like fulfilling an obligation, or something you’re supposed to do, than something you’re really enthusiastic about.

Your romantic partners always seem to be way more into the lovey-dovey stuff than you are.

A likable person suggests having a romantic relationship with you, and you’re indifferent to it - you’re open to trying it, but you won’t get disappointed without it. Other people may find your indifference bizarre or think you’re giving off mixed messages.

You have felt guilty about not loving your romantic partner as much as they loved you, even though you sincerely cared about them and wanted to love them back.

You have felt suffocated, repressed or tense in a romantic relationship, even though you really liked your partner and they hadn’t done anything wrong.

When your last romantic relationship ended, you felt relieved and free more than you felt sad, even if your partner broke it off, and even if you liked them very much as a person.

You’re more excited by making a new best friend than by falling in love.

You wouldn’t mind marrying your best friend and spending your life with them, even though you’re not in love with them.

You’d rather spend Friday night having a sleepover party with your buddies than going out on a date.

You want a best friend much more than you want a romantic relationship.

It’s not so much the idea of being single forever that bothers you, so much as being alone or unwanted.

You are either oblivious to other people flirting with you, or feel uncomfortable or threatened by it.

You are sometimes perceived as flirtatious when you only meant to be friendly.

You live in a large community and see or meet hundreds of people around your age every year, but none of them have ever stirred romantic feelings in you.

You recognize whether something is romantic or not by comparing it to other gestures, words and signals that your culture has taught you are romantic, rather than “feeling” the romance of it intuitively.

When you say or do romantic things, it feels like you’re following a script or copying romantic things you’ve seen elsewhere, rather than something spontaneous and natural to you.

When thinking about what sort of person you’d want to date, your criteria are identical to what you would want from a best friend.

The main benefit you get from a romantic relationship is either platonic, sensual, sexual, or a combination of those; the romantic aspect is okay but it’s not really the part you like most.

You have trouble imagining romantic activities that you would enjoy, unless those activities are also fun or interesting for you on a platonic or intellectual level.

You feel like your closest friends and/or queerplatonic partners are better at fulfilling your emotional needs than romantic partners would be.

You would rather be huggy, cuddly or emotionally intimate with all of your friends instead of reserving your intimacy for just one person.

You would rather have a queerplatonic relationship than a typical romantic relationship.

You don’t feel as if you’re missing anything in your life right now; having a romantic partner might be nice, but you don’t need it or seek it out.

The idea of being single forever sounds awesome to you.

You enjoy gestures and activities that are traditionally labeled “romantic,” but at no point during them do you actually feel attracted to whoever you’re with.

You don’t enoy gestures and activities that are traditionally labeled romantic, either because the romance aspect bothers you, or because all of them are just plain unappealing to you.

You avoid going places where people are likely to flirt with you, such as bars, parties, nightclubs, and concerts.

You’re not sure why other people enjoy romantic stories; you usually just find the lead characters to be annoying, boring or dysfunctional.

You like the idea of having a big wedding celebration more than the idea of actually marrying someone.

Feel free to add your own.

#aro #aromance #long post

[slingsandaros-blog]

I'm biquoiromantic. I'm not sure if I should consider myself acearo or not, since I'm not even sure I'm 100% aro. So whenever I see an acearo post or survey, I never know if I should be a part of it, or leave it for the true aromantics. Also, whenever someone asks if I'm aro, I just say yes because it's easier, but then I start to feel like I lied to them. I'm just not sure if calling myself aromantic would be right or not. (Sorry if this is hard to understand; my new meds hurt my brain 😕)

I understand where you’re coming from really well, actually.  I think the best advice I can give you is not to worry too much about what other people think, even though I know how hard that is.  Basically?  If any part of you at all feels in the slightest connection to aro/aces, then you are one.  Remember that there are aces who have sex and aros that date and get married.  That doesn’t make them any less aro/ace, and being biquoiromantic doesn’t make you any less on that spectrum.  Telling people you’re aro because it’s easier isn’t a bad thing - I often let people think I’m a girl because it’s easier than trying to explain to them that I’m not, especially if I know I’m never going to have contact with them again.  If you know someone will understand or love you regardless (and if you have the time/patience/emotional capacity to do so that day), then you can sit down and explain to them the intricacies of your place on the spectrum.  But simplifying something doesn’t make it lying - if you think back to grade school, a lot of the stuff they told us was simplification.  It’s a good placeholder until someone is ready to handle more difficult and nuanced concepts.  As for posts and surveys, you are very much a part of the aro/ace community as far as I am concerned, and have a right to have a say in the community and to include yourself in posts.  I think your feelings and perspectives are important, and if you feel comfortable sharing them, then you should feel free to do so.  You’re important to this community, at least as far as I am concerned, and you should always feel welcome here to consider yourself an aro/ace.

[slingsandaros-blog]

Whenever I’ve come out as being something other than straight-forwardly straight or gay, boy or girl, or when I try and talk to easily categorized people about the difficulty I’ve had with my gender, they tend to ask me the same question:

“Why do you need to label it?  Just be who you are!”

And yes, while that’s sweet and well-meant advice, it never seems to sit well does it?  The only problem is that it’s hard to refute logic as simplistically naive as that, so I have, on occasion just had to let that one go.  But I finally managed to figure out why it always bothers me, and thus how to refute a seemingly simple statement:

“If I don’t label myself, I’m just going to get labelled anyway.  I’m going to get labelled as a straight girl, because that’s how I look.  People who fit into neat categories don’t have to worry about labels, because the labels that make them feel comfortable are already there and acknowledged.  People who already operate well under the established labels don’t have to think about them.  But for people like me, where about 80% of who I am isn’t acknowledged or accepted in my wider society?  It’s so so so important that I find a label that works for me.  Because otherwise I’m just going to get shoehorned back into a label I don’t want to fit under.  Yes, I’m going to be who I am no matter how other people see me, but I am neither straight nor a girl, and if I don’t make that clear to myself and those around me then I’m going to be labelled as such and treated as such.  And I’m simply not comfortable with that.”

Labelling yourself is important, because if you don’t do it, someone else is going to, and I guarantee that you will not like where they decide to put you.  Labels are important because they shape how we see ourselves, how others see us, and how we interact with one another.  Allowing yourself to become a victim of someone else’s labelling is one of the worse things you can do for yourself.  Other people labelling other people is part of why America is so screwed up - ethnic americans have been labelled as troublemakers and inferior, women have been labeled as objects and inferior, the poor have been labelled as lazy and inferior.  Labels exist, and you can’t just ignore them.  You have to pick the ones that allow you to feel the most comfortable or you’re going to be treated like someone you’re not.

#labels #gender #sexuality #long post #also sorry i haven't been here in a while guys

[slingsandaros-blog]

I am all for orientation positivity, and we need infinitely more of it in this world than there is

That being said, you are never obligated to love every single part of yourself.  And that includes orientation.  It's okay to feel frustrated because things would be easier if you identified some other way.

It's okay if you don't like your orientation.  Your orientation is a part of you, and know that there are so many people who love you, and that there are so many people who understand the struggle of your orientation making your life difficult.

It's hard.  It doesn't make you a bad person, and it doesn't illegitimize your experiences.  It's hard when you don't like part of yourself, and I think that sometimes we just need to acknowledge that so that we can begin trying to figure out how to cope with it.

#personal

[slingsandaros-blog]

How did I get here?: The Orientation Game

These are all the various identities I've courted for myself over the years.  I thought it would be interesting to see them all laid out in chronological order:

straight girl

bi/pan girl

aro girl, bi/pansexual

aro ace girl(?)

aro ace demi-girl?

aro ace genderfluid?

aro ace androgynous?

litho ace...person?...thing?...

lithoromantic/sexual ????

#i occasionally need to do things that amuse myself and simultaneously prevent me from doing homework #orientations

[slingsandaros-blog]

Can I ask about the liking sex but being asexual thing? Because I thought aces didn't like sex, but maybe I'm mistaken? Am I wrong?

I won’t say you’re all wrong, but you are partially. 

Sexual orientation has to do with the gender you’re sexually attracted to. Asexuality means you don’t experience sexual attraction. 

Things like sex repulsion (being completely “grossed-out” by sex and any sexual acts) and sex indifference (not caring for it either way) seem a lot more common in the ace community, and there’s a whole range of attitudes towards sex in between those that occur fairly often in the ace community, but they also happen in allosexual people, and that’s totally cool too.

Now, enjoying the feeling of certain sexual acts and experiencing sexual attraction are two different things. Honestly, the best way I can think to describe it is that a person with a penis can get an erection due to sensation on that part of their body, regardless of whether or not they’re sexually attracted to whoever (or whatever) is causing the sensation.

And for the most part, that sensation feels pretty good. So masturbation is something some aces do, because it feels good. Some aces prefer to get that sensation from other people, rather than a diy, and that’s ok too. 

And obviously sex drive and sexual attraction are two different things. Some people just get randomly horny for no reason, and like to relieve that by sex or masturbation, or some just prefer to wait it out. In fact, sexual attraction doesn’t always (or even usually) make someone horny at all. You just look at someone and think “I would have sex with them.” So they can be separate entirely.

That was a very jumbled explanation, so I hope I covered everything. If I’ve left something out or gotten something wrong, feel free to jump in with your 2 cents.

#ace #asexual

[slingsandaros-blog]

So today in the middle of class I realized I'm litho

and on the one hand, it's great, it explains a lot of my behaviors up until this point, and it helps with a lot of little inconsistencies and tensions that I felt when I thought I was purely aro, but on the other hand

ON THE OTHER HAND

retconning explaining to everyone I've come out to as aro

crushes (oh gods why, please can we not)

and idk how up for either of those things I am right now

#personal #litho #lithoromantic #aromantic #aro #akoiromantic #apromantic #just #why #why do we have to do this now #no you know what it's fine #it's fine #*drinks a very large glass of wine* #seriously this is fine

[slingsandaros-blog]

I'm asexual, I shouldn't be expected to mount things.

I shouldn't be expected to mount three flights of stairs just to get to class.

This is against everything I stand for, as a lazy asexual, and I demand some changes.

#ace #asexual #it's a pun see #it's a pun brought on by too much working out and sore as frick thighs #jfc but my thighs are sore #walking is a constant adventure #stairs are just hell

[slingsandaros-blog]

there’s the sassy gay friend but then there’s me

the awful jokes asexual friend

#ace #asexual #puns #jokes

[slingsandaros-blog]

Ace the Betta is tired of people not knowing what asexuality is. Asexual: a person who doesn’t experience sexual attraction towards anyone.

🐟 follow for Betta pictures and asexuality facts every day ♠️

#this is really cute though #ace #asexual

[slingsandaros-blog]

Since it’s Aromantic Spectrum Awareness Week, I just want to give a shout out to neurodivergent aros and arospecs who have neurotypes that make it harder to regulate emotions.

Being aro or arospec is hard enough without getting squishes that feel so intense you start to think it might be a crush for once.

#aro #aromantic

[slingsandaros-blog]

Some quick LGBT+ badges I whipped up. Check the captions for the sexuality/gender. I apologize if I’m missing some or if some of the above colors are wrong. If there’s a mistake, just shoot me an ask and I’ll fix. Also if you want a gender/sexuality that isn’t featured, you can shoot me an ask as well!

Hope you like and feel free to use with credit! ^^

#encouragement #ace #demi #bigender #aro #bisexual #polysexual #genderfluid #transgender #pansexual #gay