poetrysoul

[poetrysoul]

I promised myself

That I’ll not write poetry again

I’ll not wallow in self pity

I’ll not lose myself in the vessel

Of self despair

But there’s nothing else to do

There’s nothing else to look forward to

I have nothing but words to hold on to

Once again, I ask myself

Do my words hold any meaning

If no one ever reads them?

Am I just screaming into the void?

I can’t hear even an echo

Every single day is blurring in my mind

Because every day is the same

I wake up and I see myself in the mirror

And I wish I was someone else

I’m caught up in this cycle

I’m not even running anymore

Because what’s the point?

All I got to do is tire my body and my mind

The absence of meaning doesn’t haunt me anymore

My body is a machine

And so is my mind

I must keep both busy

I need to occupy my mind

With unnecessary nonsense

That will keep me away from my darkest thoughts

I need to tire my body

With some physical activity

So that I fall asleep without a thought

Today, I feel like a broken machine

But I know there’s no way out

I must keep moving in circles

I must repeat the same tasks

I’m broken

But there’s no solution

The clock is ticking

And I must keep moving

Carrying all my baggage

All my burdens

All my pain

I must face

Yet another day

#spilled words #spilled writing #poems on tumblr #spilled poetry #short poem #poetry #original poem #my words

[poetrysoul]

I wake up every morning

Trapped in this damaged,

Imperfect body

And I’m supposed to accept it

To love it

All the scars and the blemishes

All the imperfections that I was born with

I didn’t choose to be this way

And I’m sick of this perpetual battle

[poetrysoul]

“Will you accept all the heartbreaks that I come with?”

“Every single one of them”

#heartbreak

[poetrysoul]

I look within

And I’m haunted by the darkness

What happened to all the light?

There is nothing to look forward to

I’m angry all the time

And I don’t even know why

My heart burns with rage

I don’t know for how long I can suppress it

It’s rising to the surface now

And I want to scream

I want to rip my hair off

I want to run

I crave silence

I crave peace

But no matter where I go

No matter what I do

Peace moves away from me

I’m haunted by the selfishness

By how rotten people can be

How hurtful their actions often are

But there’s nothing I can do

Except ignore or absorb

My scars are getting darker

What do I hope for?

What do I look forward to?

I’m nothing but rage now

Inside out

I’m fire and I’m the skin

I’m burning

#poems on tumblr #spilled poetry #short poem #poets on tumblr #original poem #poets corner #poetry

[poetrysoul]

I look at her and then I look within. The music is loud and so are my thoughts. We both started at the same place- the same dusty brick lane. But, unlike me, she is full of dreams. She dreams with her head held high. She touches the sky- not just in her dreams but in reality as well.

I look within and I feel hollow. I know that she can see through. I know that she can see how empty I am. But she is kind enough to not say anything. So we both ignore the elephant in the room- we can never be friends again, not like we used to be. Her dreams remind me of my hollowness. My lack of ambition makes me someone invisible to her.

I do not want to look within anymore. But, I can’t help it. I lose myself in the whirlpool of nothingness. I realise that I have failed in every way possible. I found love after years of bitterness, only to realise that I do not have the strength to fight for it. I failed to find joy in my education- I always saw it as something I just have to get through. And now, I’m uncertain whether I will find a job.

I am nothing. I am a nobody. I am my peach lipstick. I worry about the most insignificant things. I fail to see the big picture. I feel paralysed. Deep inside, I know that I’ve ever truly wanted only one thing- to be loved. To love. But, life is no movie. Love always comes at a cost. I am sitting in a dark room with uncertainty, the possibility of a heartbreak and a lifetime of loneliness. I cannot escape.

My love for him knows no bounds now. I do not know how to love any other way. I do not want to think about the future. For now, I’ll keep swimming in the whirlpool of nothingness. I do not want another reality check. He is rooted to reality and I am not. He dreams. He asks me why I do not. I have no answer. I’ve always been the same. I have always merely existed. I’m not a participant. I’m the audience.

#spilled words #spilled writing #thoughts

[poetrysoul]

An uncertain future

A love lost

Perhaps a possibility of new love

But even before losing him

I know that I’ll always be his

A gentle soul

A happy face

He accepted me with open arms

Even though no one ever did

He somehow saw through

All my flaws and imperfections

It’s a November afternoon

I’m sitting right next to him

He is looking at me

With love in his eyes

And all I can think about is

I do not deserve it

He loves unapologetically

And I do too

We don’t hold ourselves back

But is love enough?

We both know

That life will get in the way

Our bandaged hearts know

That we have to learn to love

And be able to let go

#spilled words #spilled writing #poems on tumblr #spilled poetry #words n stuff #spilled heart

[poetrysoul]

I have so much to say

But there’s no one to hear

[poetrysoul]

I’m moving to a box

And someone else stays in that box

I’ll share that tiny space

Barely any space

With another person

I just wanted the bare minimum

A space for myself

Not to play loud music

Not to call anyone over

A place to just be

Without another energy

But that’s too much to ask for

I’m a girl far away from home

I can’t left alone somewhere

I must be bound

By all the restrictions

I’ll have to learn to breathe

I’ll have to learn to hold on

To the little freedom I have

Or I would lose it all

I’m moving to a box

But that’s better than sharing a space

With someone with the worst intentions

I just want to be safe

And I’m moving into another

Unpredictable tiny box

I’ll be 24 this month

And I’m still a child

My dad wants me to be safe

And the words get stuck in my throat

When I try to speak for myself

So I’ll retreat and I’ll accept

I’ll learn to live

In that tiny little box

Until I find another cage

#spilled words #spilled writing #poems on tumblr #spilled poetry #short poem #my words #words n stuff #spilled heart #poemsociety #writing

[poetrysoul]

I am drowning tonight. I wish I knew how to save myself.

[poetrysoul]

There is so much of time ahead

So many spaces

How do I fill the gaps?

How do I not get pulled back to the void?

My thoughts are against me tonight

My nightmares are back

There’s not a lot I need

But when I reach out

I get nothing

I reach out

And come back to myself

Empty handed

#spilled words #spilled writing #poems on tumblr #spilled poetry #short poem #my words #words n stuff #spilled heart #poemsociety #writing

[poetrysoul]

My heart says it’s over

I do not have it in me anymore

To fight for him

I am a wreck

I am exhausted

It was never meant to be

It was just an illusion

And now it’s time

To let it go

To live

To breathe

To come back home

To my lonely self

[poetrysoul]

Today, it’s a summer in my heart

The daises have bloomed

I don’t know what tomorrow holds

But I’m swimming in serenity today

[poetrysoul]

How many sad stories do I have within me? How many tragedies have made a home in my heart? How many nights have I spent teary eyed? I’m just a fragment now, of who I used to be. I’m just a puzzle piece now and there are no other pieces.

[poetrysoul]

I keep digging

And digging

Every other night

There is no lost treasure

There are only bones

I don’t whether I’m haunted

By my past or my future

It’s an endless cycle

I’m tired of this trap

It’s not a maze

It’s a loop

There is no way out

Yet I keep running

[poetrysoul]

I took a chance

I dived in too deep

And now my chest hurts

Now I’m lost once again

I took a chance

Knowing fully well

That I might end up

In the depths of despair

[poetrysoul]

There are stretches of time

A vast desert ahead

The harsh wind

Another cold night

Goosebumps rise on my skin

How do I fill this time?

Where do I go?

Who do I hold?

It’s difficult to hold on to something

When nothing means anything

I close my eyes

And I shiver

Maybe this is it

Maybe I should accept it

The goosebumps are here to stay

My heart is cold

My mind is numb

I feel like a grain of sand

More insignificant than ever

#spilled words #spilled writing #poems on tumblr #spilled poetry #short poem #my words #words n stuff #spilled heart #poemsociety #writing

[poetrysoul]

I keep trying to run away, only to come back to myself. A person cannot be an escape. A person can’t save me from the depths of despair.

I used to embrace my solitude. But it has gradually become loneliness. I write and I write. I keep moving in circles. There has to be a solution. There has to be a light. I can’t keep living this way.

I look within and I’m haunted. I feel hollow. I feel emptier than ever. I think I’ll always feel this way. I do not what I’m looking for. I do not where I’ll end up. I can just hope, that I make it through. I can just keep the light on in an attempt to walk away from the darkness in my heart.