mel-annie

[mel-annie]

half a year and my scars still looking like this

#ana problems #tw eating things #tw ana diary #disordered eating thoughts #tw disordered eating #tw 3d vent #disordered eating mention #3dtumblr #4n4 vent #4n4 meme #4n4 blog #4n4 thoughts #not pr0 4na #4na thoughts #🦋.txt #🦋diary

[mel-annie]

I'm really really afraid of Christmas dinner, I'm getting nervous and anxious. I would kill to just disappear rn tbh

[mel-annie]

couple days ago I tried KFC for the first time (was a fear food)

#ana problems #tw eating things #tw ana diary #disordered eating thoughts #tw disordered eating #tw 3d vent #disordered eating mention #i wanna kms #recovery #ana recovery #4n4 blog

[mel-annie]

My whole life went so fkng down since I started recovery because you start looking at the problems of your life that you used to cover with 30hrs of fast. And I hate it.

#ana problems #tw eating things #tw ana diary #disordered eating thoughts #tw disordered eating #ana recovery #recovery #4n4 blog #tw 4n4 #4n4 vent #3dtumblr #tw 3d #3dblrr #disordered eating tw #tw eating issues #disordered eating mention

[mel-annie]

I was about to have dinner but then my mom asked me "are you gonna have dinner?" so now I'm not gonna have dinner.

#ana problems #tw eating things #tw ana diary #4n4 blog #4n4 meme #disordered eating tw #tw eating issues #4n4 vent #i hate calories #disordered eating thoughts #tw disordered eating #4n4 thoughts #4n4m14 #🦋diary #🦋rant #⭐️ving #⭐️ve #i want to be th1n #i wanna kms #i wanna be weightless

[mel-annie]

#ana problems #tw eating things #tw ana diary #4n4 vent #4n4 blog #4n4 thoughts #edblrr #tw 3d #disordered eating tw #disordered eating thoughts #tw disordered eating #ed behaviour tw #tw 3d vent #disordered eating mention #4n4 meme #🦋diary #🦋log #🦋rant #⭐️ve #⭐️ving #ed post

[mel-annie]

I've been starving myself so hard this week. Some days I just drank black coffee. It was surprisingly easy, food disgusts me right now tbh.

(But my kidneys hurt again, would it be bc of the coffee? or I'm not drinking enough water?) Idk

#ana problems #tw eating things #tw ana diary #tw 3d #3dblr #disordered eating tw #disordered eating thoughts #4n4 vent #4n4 blog #4n4 thoughts #3dblrr #⭐️ving #⭐️ve #🦋diary #🦋.txt #4n4blr #st4rv1ng #st4rv3

[mel-annie]

Fasted for 24 hrs <3

#ana problems #tw eating things #tw ana diary #4n4 vent #4n4 blog #4n4 thoughts #ed behaviour tw #ed relapse #3dblrr #tw 3d #tw 3d vent #disordered eating tw #disordered eating thoughts #tw disordered eating #f4st!ng #f4st1ng #4n4 meme #i wanna be weightless

[mel-annie]

Somehow in recovery?

Idk but wish me luck. Maybe this time medical issues make me wanna recover. Really confused rn (but internally crying sm and avoiding scales).

#ana problems #tw eating things #tw ana diary #ana recovery #recovery #4n4 blog #4n4 vent #4n4 thoughts #ed behaviour tw #tw 3d #tw 3d vent #disordered eating tw #disordered eating thoughts #tw eating issues #disordered eating mention #skinyyyy #b0nes r us #3dblr #edblrr #ed bllog

[mel-annie]

So today I had to eat the meal while mum played some "metabolism videos" of a guy listing all foods we cannot eat or we will be fat (chocolate, sugar, potatoes, banana, yogurt, bread, almost everything).

#ana problems #tw ana diary #tw eating things #tw eating issues #4n4 blog #4n4 thoughts #4n4 vent #🦋diary #🦋.txt #🦋rant #disordered eating thoughts #disordered eating mention #tw 3d vent

[mel-annie]

so related :(

I just remembered a time of my extreme restr1ction (200-400 c4ls) phase when I’d b1nge and not remember. I’d go to sleep, wake up the next day thinking it was a nightmare, then see the wrappers of what I had eaten

I remember asking my mom, what happened to the peanut butter jar? Did I really eat it all last night? And feeling strangely disconnected from the fact I had done that

[mel-annie]

+1.75 kg for today :)

ANA YOU CAN FU*K YOURSELF, DID YOU HEAR ME????

#ana problems #tw eating things #tw disordered eating #tw eating issues #4n4 vent #4n4 blog #4n4 thoughts #🦋.txt #🦋diary #🦋rant #disordered eating thoughts #disordered eating mention #eating disoder trigger warning #tw 3d vent #3dblrr #3ating d1sorder

[mel-annie]

Eat

Please

Don't die yet

#my friend telling me to eat makes me feel someone cares but also makes me wanna fast for 10 days straight :) #ana problems #tw ana diary #tw eating things #tw eating issues #tw disordered eating #ed behaviour tw #tw 3d vent #tw 3d in the tags #4n4 vent #4norexi4 #4n4 blog #4n4 thoughts #3ating d1sorder #3dblrr #eating disoder thoughts #skinnyyy

[mel-annie]

crying bc was a terrible day, I had several anxiety episodes and at the end of the day my boyfriend had one and tried to k*** himself and I tried to calm him down by messages since call wasn't connected, it was so hard and caused me another episode and scratched my face and I think I hit my eye and after all I still wanna kms and cannot tell my boyfriend and my friend doesn't answer my messages because he's probably asleep. and I'm trying to get away from knives and whatever hurting object. I'm trying to be okay but I just can't stop crying and feeling this way, my head hurts and it's about to explode.

#i wanna kms #ana problems #sad notes #really wanna kms #anxiety #4nxiety #anxi4ty #tw ana diary #4n4 vent #4n4 blog #ed behaviour tw #tw su1cide #tw cutt1ng

[mel-annie]

The day before yesterday I was in acid trip with a friend and I ate cookies, little donuts and fries. But it was all I ate the whole day so it's not that bad.

#ana problems #tw ana diary #tw eating things #acid trip #w33d #tw eating issues #tw disordered eating #3dblrr #skinnyyy #4n4 vent #4n4 blog #4n4 thoughts #🦋diary #🦋.txt #⭐️ving

[mel-annie]

Happy bc I'm 44.4 kg (BMI 18.2) wich is good but today is my birthday and that means food and snacks and maybe a cake.

I didn't prepare for this as much as I would like to since my plans were to fast two days before. I only restricted.

My mom said she would make a meal and I chose one that I love and is kind of low cal or at least not too fatty.

I'll try to enjoy the day without worrying to much abt food but I also want to eat as less as possible. Wish me luck :(

#ana problems #tw eating things #tw ana diary #tw eating issues #ed behaviour tw #tw 3d vent #3dblrr #4n4 vent #4n4 blog #skinnyyy #ed bllog #3dblr

[mel-annie]