jitzlemonade

[jitzlemonade]

UNNAMED PART 4

PART 1 PART 2 PART 3

Good news is, I'm not dead and I'm finally back. Sorry for the long hiatus, hehe. Life and procrastination got in the way. Anyway, Mima anon, I really appreciate you and your comments >< It really lets me know what people like about my work. This would have taken much longer if it wasn't for your ask that really motivate me to finally crunch it out. I bloody adore you, as a writer towards their reader. For the other anon, I did include Childe, so hope that partially satisfy your request. As for the second half? Haha, we'll see...

Hope you guys enjoy this, and as always, let me know what you think. Contains: Slight angst, fluff, happy, overcoming past love until whoops Pairing: Zhongli x Reader; Childe x Reader (featured)

Summary:

What was life meant for without Zhongli? Another person that stepped into your life seems to have the answer. ----------------------------------------------------------------

What are you without Zhongli?

The stone pavement feels cold against your back, and you could feel unknown liquid seeping into the fabric of your clothing. You would've been disgusted and immediately gotten up, but for now, you find that you don't care enough to bother getting up. 

You gaze at the skies vacantly. It's sunny and bright and so full of life, but even as sunlight falls upon your motionless body splaying on the floor, you felt cold and tired. There's only one thing left to do now, you tell yourself, sleep. Your eyes closed, and you were gone from the conscious world.

It was unknown how long you remained there, but you awoke when you felt your body shaking. You opened your eyes again, blinking a few times to shake off the drowsiness. Ah, the skies were dyed with shades of orange and blue. Sun set, your brain supplemented.

Then, a tuff of reddish-orange hair entered your vision, followed by a grinning face. "You're awake," Judging by the way you can see even the pores on his skin clearly, he was probably squatting while his body hunched over you, and at an uncomfortably close distance.

You remained still, making no movements in response to his sudden appearance. You were startled, but it just happened so suddenly you didn't even have time to react. When you fully comprehended the situation along with the shock, it was already too late to react at all. However, he interpreted your inaction differently, "Hah? You even lost the spirit to live?"

That's one hell of a misunderstanding, you thought to yourself. He seemed to have lost interest, pulling back from your face. You could see more of him now. Ginger-red hair, with a red mask attached on his head. A ruby crystal hangs from his earlobe, which against his fair skin, glints with a shade so similar to blood that you were reminded of a chevalier rose that grows in the midst of winter.

Originally, you didn't want to care, but when you look him in the eyes, it was like something had you in a vice grip. Those ocean blue eyes of him seemed to stir something deep inside you, and before you knew it, you had already gotten up into a sitting position. For some reason, his eyes remind you of Zhongli, for a reason you can't quite determine yet.

You stared at him, and even though he had every chance to break the eye contact, he didn't. He merely looked at you with an amused expression, gazing upon you as he awaits your reaction. The cogs in your brain started rotating, slowly at first, but the longer you stared at him, the faster they turned.

His eyes were ocean blue, the type of blue you see when you're out in the open sea when the clouds obscure the blazing sun just right. It was the same shade of blue that you see when you stared at the skies while you were lying down on the floor. The same shade of blue in which a field of glaze lilies brushes gently against your legs as you run through them, with petals that dances with the wind.

Yes, his eyes were ocean blue. The type of blue that calms and soothes the soul as you embraced it, the type of blue in which you would confide your deepest and darkest secrets in. Yet, it also bears resemblance to the shade of the lost civilization Enkanomiya. A deep, dark blue that's closer to black.

Something else lies within those eyes. A bottomless depth, in which even the strongest light can never reach. Even as the evening sun dyes him in a warm, golden hue, there's a darkness that's ever present even as a smile lightly shows itself on his lips. An abyss that beckons unknowing travelers to explore its depths, unaware it will be their undoing.

His eyes were different from his outspoken and friendly demeanor, they were cold, frigid like frosty hails in the harsh winters of Snezhnaya. You had never been there, but if all the authors that had written about the country were right, the coldness in his eyes would be the personification of Snezhnaya.

However, even then, those eyes of his are breathtaking all the same.

Like Noctilucous Jade in the dark, his eyes shines so brilliantly that one can't help but to reach out, in hopes they'll be the salvation that saves him from the darkness that plagues his eyes.

Suddenly, everything clicked together in place.

Ah, so that's why he reminded you of Zhongli.

While blue and amber couldn't be any more different, his eyes are similar to Zhongli's.

Both tell a tale, a tale of someone who has lived far too long, a tale of someone who has seen too many miseries in a lifetime.

—----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

He pulls you onto your feet, and your body effortlessly follows the pull of his arm. A fleeting thought passed your mind, he’s strong. The silk of his gloves feels smooth against your skin. It reminds you of Zhongli, even though the silky texture differs from velvet. Sorrow rears its head within you once more; but for now, you really appreciate the body warmth of another human being.

He drags you to somewhere with a firm grip of his hand on your wrist. You can tell he has a clear destination in mind judging by his decisive steps. Logic and reason tell you to shake his hand off and head home, that you shouldn’t let him bring you to an unknown place, yet like a puppet pulled by its puppeteer, you let him. Perhaps, even if it’s just for today, you wanted to stop thinking so much.

You zoned out, your feet automatically walked in whatever direction you feel him pull. Your brain faintly registered the passing sceneries, enough to tell you’re moving, but still unable to predict where exactly you’re going. You felt the pull stopped, and like it’s a signal, you snapped out of your trance. You paused, scanning your surroundings. Huh, he brought you to Liyue Harbour.

At this time, the sun had already set, leaving nightfall in its leave. The stars glitter in the night sky like countless tiny diamonds, when the only light source bright enough to illuminate your surroundings was the moon. Your ears can pick up the clash of the waves against the rocks and the quiet rocking of boat along with the waves. A familiar scenery, but with someone new and different by your side.

This serene moment was interrupted by an abrupt shout. “Here!” You looked towards the source, only to be greeted by the sight of an object getting larger and larger–– wait a minute, it’s actually coming towards you!!!! To say you panicked was an understatement, any passerby would immediately label your series of actions aimed towards trying to catch the object as some form of demonic possession.

When you do finally catch it, you released a sigh of relief. You were too caught up with the feel of the item against your hand to think of admonishing the culprit that was the cause of your mini-panic attack on the streets. You gave yourself a pat on the back for catching it without breaking it. A boisterous laughter filled the street, when you looked at him, the ginger was holding his stomach due to laughing too hard.

Your eyes narrowed and you could feel your eye twitching in anger. “Glad one of us can laugh at my expense,” you say sarcastically as you rolled your eyes. “Oh, no problem. It was the funniest thing I’ve seen since coming to Liyue.” For dramatic purpose, he even mimicked wiping off a tear from the corner of his eye. Your eye twitched even harder, and you swear you can feel a blood vessel or two in your blood stream burst.

You were speechless, so you examined the object which you painstakingly caught after spending more than half of your sweat and spirit. “A fishing rod?” You questioned, because you did not spend all that effort for a fishing rod. He nodded his head, “Yes, and it’s just so happened to be a full moon, perfect for night fishing!”, his eyes were bright as he pointed to the moon.

You paused, waiting for the anger to fill your body so you can do what needs to be done. Contrary to your expectations, you mysteriously felt a sense of calmness enveloping you. Instead of flaring up, you sat down beside him and copied his actions as he set things up for fishing. When it comes to hooking the worm through the fishhook, you grimaced at the slimy texture against your fingertips.

It didn’t take long before a fish took bite, and it took a lot of effort to reel your line back in. However, all come to naught when all that’s left was a single hook, no bait in sight, and no fish either. You looked towards him, and he was trying his best to not fall over from laughter as he stifled his giggles. You glanced back at your hook, how in teyvat did the fish get the worm and not get caught on the hook when you clearly used the hook to stab the worm?

Honestly, the end result came as no surprise to you. You peered down at your basket, only for it to be empty. There was nary a worm, much less any fishes, as if a supernova had occurred in your basket and vanquished all the fishes into oblivion. The man besides you, had 2 baskets overwhelmed with fishes, to the point some escaped from the basket and was hopping their way back into the sea. 

Your eyes met his, and he smirked smugly at you. As an honorable citizen of Liyue, you respond childishness with reason and logic. Just kidding, you retaliated by swatting his arm. All he did was chuckled even more. This mystery man indeed gets on your nerves, but you must admit that if it wasn’t for him, you would have still been lying on the ground in some alleyway, wallowing in self-pity.

“Thank you, weird ginger-haired stranger,” you told him before you stood up. You didn’t leave immediately, instead you glanced at the moon once more, and for this once, you took your time. Out of the corner of your eye, you see him looking at you, seemingly contemplating something. Then, he tilts both the buckets towards the sea, releasing all the fish he had caught back to their homes.

“Call me Childe,” he said as he watched the fish swim away from the shoreline until they completely disappear from sight. “Childe,” You tried copying his pronunciation, with zero idea on how do you spell that. You waited, and he didn’t say anything. Okay, since he didn’t correct you, you must have the sound of his name right then. “Thanks for the company, Childe.” You nodded at him and left.

When you reached the doorsteps of your accommodation, you paused. You suddenly remembered something, you didn’t tell him your name… It completely and utterly slipped your mind. No matter, you shrugged. It wasn’t like you’ll see him again anyway.

You were wrong.

—------------------------------------------------------------------------

You began running into him at a frequency higher than the time you spent sleeping on your bed, and taking into account that you do in fact sleep every day, this alarmingly high rate is appalling. 

Though you do admit you were familiar with the ginger man, to the point that he managed to wrangle your name from your lips regardless of the tight reins you had on yourself.

—--------------------------------------------------------------------------

You didn't know why Childe had asked you to meet him at the bridge at this god forsaken hour. It's 4 am, and you wondered why you bothered humoring him. Though you can already see a few merchants buzzing about to set up their stalls, you remain insistent that it's too early. You could've been at home and sleeping.

“Hey!” He called your name out loud and his booming voice sounded through the streets, causing everyone to look at the both of you. You sighed, might as get used to it by now. 

“Hello to you too, Childe,” you whispered, too tired to deal with him this early. He slaps you on your back, causing you to stumble and almost fall, which naturally lead you to glare at him “Lighten up, we got things to do!”

“Oh yeah,” you muttered before asking, “What exactly do we have to do?” He flashed the brightest grin you had ever seen, “Crab hunting,” You nodded before the words finally sink in, you stared at him as you repeated “..crab..hunting?” His grin did not falter, “Yup, crab hunting,”

You closed your eyes as you wondered what you have gotten yourself into.

You should've left him when you had the chance, you thought, yet here you are leaping towards a crab before it slips past your fingers and burrow itself in the sand.

You gave up, letting your body hit the sand without trying to soften your fall. Luckily, there wasn't any rocks or sharp objects. You sighed, this is why you have a desk job.

Suddenly, your sight turned dim, a shadow was charged over you. Turning your head slightly up, you see Childe bent over at the waist chuckling at you. “You look like a worm,”

You didn't even bother retorting with words, instead cupping a handful of wet sand to throw at his clothes. “Hey!” he laughed in protest, “not fair! I wasn’t ready!”

You quickly got up as he started scooping up wet sand to throw at you, he threatened you “Don't you move!”. In turn, you hollered, “Never! And you suck at aiming!” To finish him off, you stuck your tongue at him.

You had a strong start, but not even 10 minutes later, you were left panting on the ground again. Your clothes were stained all over with mud because while Childe has shitty aim, you have shitty stamina.

Both of you looked at each other before bursting out in laughter. You were terrible to look at, but he didn't get off easy either, the mud even stained his hair and face.

“How many more crabs we need again?” you questioned once you regained your bearings. “4 more,” you looked at him, and he looked at you. Damn it, he wasn't kidding.

Though thankfully, by a stroke of pure, sheer luck, you managed to catch 1 more crab, which makes a grand total of 2 crabs captured by you.

When you looked over to Childe's side, you saw 6 crabs in his basket. You decided you should just be proud of yourself and not boast in any way, shape, or form.

“Why do you want so many crabs anyway?” you looked at Childe as he tied the crabs' pinchers using strings. He grinned, “I'm gonna treat you to a feast,”

“.... with these crabs?” He nodded, “Exactly with these crabs,” All the effort may have been worth it, scratch that, not all, but most of the effort. Seafood was a luxury, and if he's treating you? You are indeed, going to have a feast.

On the way, he kept selling his cooking skills. Giving details how he honed his craft by learning to make 'dishes filled with love' for his family, and how you would definitely find his food delicious.

You didn't even mind when he says he was the one going to cook it. After all, he must be confident if he's offering, right? You paused, could you actually trust his cooking skills? Ultimately you shrugged it off, there's no point in doubting him now.

That was until you saw the dish served in front of you.

You had a million things to say, and none of them are nice, not even remotely. You glanced at him, ready to give him a piece of your mind.

However, the moment you looked at Childe's puppy eyes, the harsh words that were originally going to come out of your mouth stopped. You pursed your lips, contemplating on how to word it to not hurt his feelings.

“Is this... still alive?” you mutter as you poke at the tentacle at the very top. The fact that it trembled from the poke makes you die slightly inside. Dang, it still has its muscle memory.

You put down the chopsticks next to the dish, suddenly finding your originally ravenous stomach to be extremely quiet now.

“Dont be shy, comrade! Go ahead and dig in,” Even with Childe's cheerful voice ringing beside you, you can't possibly stomach this in any universe.

Where in the world did the octopus' tentacales and the reddish hue of the soup come from? In fact, why did it look like a kraken drowning in its own blood?

You blinked once more, trying to see if you were mistaken. Nope, it's gotten even worse. The Kraken seemed to be screaming now, though you can't hear physically, your soul felt its torment and suffering deeply.

Were you just not getting enough sleep, or did the hot sun cause you to hallucinate? You gazed up at the ceiling, pondering all your life's choices that had lead you to this exact moment.

“...How exactly did you.... make this?” You questioned, because you were extremely sure all you did was spend half of your lifespan trying to catch some crabs, and buying Calla Lilies and mint from a merchant. 

How exactly did this abomination come about with such limited choice of ingredients? Perhaps Childe had a hidden talent for making something out of nothing, which is a talent that you desperately pray he should not have at this moment when you’re the guinea pig.

He smiles, though it comes out a little weak and weird in a way you can't quite pinpoint, “This is something I fished out of the sea, along with some products from my homeland on the side,”

Though that weirdness faded as quickly as it came, which makes you dismiss it as your imagination. Or is it really? It was pointless, you won’t breach this subject when you’re not even close to him.

“I assure you, it's delicious! My family are always scrambling for more when I cook,” You closed your eyes, they were probably scrambling for their lives instead.

Nevermind, you lived long enough. Bracing yourself, you took your first bite. You thought you would faint or at least choke from horrible and indescribable flavours, but none of that happen.

“It's... edible,” you muttered in surprise, as your mouth keep chewing. It's actually tasty, you realized. “Not bad, right?” He grinned as he sat down opposite you with his own bowl. “It'll taste even better since you worked for it,”

You stared at him, and ended up with the decision of keeping your mouth shut. The last thing you'll do is admit his cooking is delicious. It was necessary to avoid feeding his already enlarged ego.

Though the moment he held up the chopsticks and failed miserably, you flexed by clicking your chopsticks together multiple times in front of his face. Your Liyue ancestors would have denounced you for your chopsticks etiquette, in this case, the lack of it; but you were too gleeful on this victory over him. Like a crab, you continue to clink the chopsticks.

He put his chopsticks down, complaining, “It's because I'm new to Liyue, I never had any experience with chopsticks. Just give me some time and I'll be adept with them in no time!”

You simply nodded, “Yup, anything you say goes,” Though, you stand up and went to the cupboard immediately after, which cause Childe to look at you with a curious gaze.

Without saying anything, you place a spoon and a fork next to him before you went back to your seat. Specifically, a baby spoon and fork with cartoon images on them. You do have a normal set, but you choose this particular set just to piss him off.

Seeing his dumbfounded face was definitely worth all the effort you've exerted today. This debt is cleared, ginger man, you thought to yourself.

—-----------------------------------------------------------------

As you walked along the shoreline of Yaoguang Shoal with Childe, you couldn’t help but reminisce of a past where you shared such walks with a different person. Not one with auburn hair and ocean blue eyes, but rather one with hazel locks and amber eyes. You smiled wistfully at your thoughts, regardless of your wishes, your mind will always recall him, a ghost of your past that you can’t quite get rid of, even when there is another person accompanying you.

“Come here!” Childe’s voice pulled you away from your trip down memory lane. Before you realized, he was distant from you and you chastised yourself for losing track of your surroundings. You hurried, lengthening your strides into a semi-jog before finally catching up to him. He was already sitting, upon your arrival, he patted the spot next to him. Thus, you sat down at where he motioned.

Both of you watched in silence as the sun slowly sets below the horizon, dyeing the skies and seas an orange-gold hue. You can never get tired of watching this, there was always something mythical about this phenomenon that leaves you mesmerized. “You know, back in Snezhnaya, we were too busy trying to keep moving and stay warm that we never really has the chance to stop and really take the time to watch the sun set.”

You watched him as he narrates his homeland in a gentle tone. His features now had a soft touch on them, losing the sharpness of a hunter. The frigid winter in his eyes has melted, revealing the first sprout of spring, with a gaze that contains affection. The golden hue of the sun gave him a warm glow, paints him with a ethereal beauty, highlighting the love he has for his family. 

You stared at him, transfixed upon the radiance in his eyes, with a light so strong that it banished the dark and brightens the abyss within. His eyes curved into crescents, his lips formed a gentle smile. Ah, you realized, it wasn’t that no light can ever reach the bottom of the abyss, all it requires was the right person, or people.

All of the sudden, his hands reached out towards you, covering your ears. You wondered what was going through his head, but came up blank when he looks upon you with such soft eyes and smile. Then, you heard it, the longing calls of the ocean singing in your ears. He senses the epiphany in your eyes and grinned.

His hands moved away, and he revealed what was in the palm of his hand. A starconch, you observed. “Take this as a token of our friendship,” he smiled, pulling your hand and eveloping it with his own. You felt the press of the shell against your palm. “Now everytime you hear the ocean or see a starconch, you’ll think of me,” He smirked like he had gotten one over you.

You carefully etched his visage in your memories, soaking in the way he looked at this moment in time. His hair sways in the breeze, following its every motion. His smile that bares all his teeth, jubilant and proud. His countenance framed with the stray rays of sunlight. His ocean blue eyes that encompasses the beauty and divinity of the sea itself.

You weren’t ready to love someone else.

However, you can trust him.

For the first time in a while, you smiled. 

Yeah, you can trust him.

.

.

.

.

—-----------------------------------------------------------------

You started at Wangshu Inn situated at the top of the tree before you sighed. The elevator was currently used, and as a certified introvert, you knew you would use the stairs to avoid any chances of a conversation happening, even standing near strangers creeps you out.

You patted your legs, in hoping just like countless times before, they will not fail you now. Another deep breath in, you started your way up the stairs, one at a time. Luckily, you had plenty of time left before your appointment with Childe.

Normally, you wouldn't have come here. After all, it's too far away from Liyue city that coming here was really going out of your way. However, Childe was insistent on getting you to try out their latest dish, claiming it to be a once-in-a-century opportunity.

Halfway up the stairs, you were already panting. Looking at the third elevator to pass you since the start of your journey, you regretted succumbing to your social anxiety. Oh well, no can do. You were already halfway there, might as well finish it.

You sigh once more, actually, since there's no one around to judge you, you will just rest here for a while. Once more, you thank Sevens that you came here 1 hour early. At first, you thought you were too paranoid about being late, but in the end you did need all the extra time.

Speaking about Sevens, the thought of Zhongli once again popped up in your mind. “To think that he was Rex Lapis,” you muttered as you gaze vacantly at the surrounding scenery. You wonder the state he's in now, especially since it's been weeks since you last saw him.

Is he heartbroken over the way you just left? Or did he got over it and was secretly glad that you left him and spared him from the effort of breaking up with you? Maybe you were overestimating your significance to him, and he had already moved on.

You caught yourself thinking about him; on reflex, your hand immediately went to slap your cheek. Right, there's no point thinking about it too much, you told yourself. This is the best scenario for you and him. Although at this rate, you weren't sure if it wasn't just you trying to convince yourself that it was.

When you finally reached the top, you felt the tension melting from your shoulders. Finally, you released a sigh of relief. Surprisingly, you had around a quarter of an hour left before you were supposed to meet with Childe. You thought you were stuck on those staircases much longer from all the suffering and aching you felt.

Stepping in, you noticed that the proprietress seems to have been informed of your arrival. She motioned to a room, stating “Mr. Childe is waiting for you,” You paused, wondering how did she know you were supposed to be meeting with Childe.

Perhaps Childe has just given a very detailed explanation of you so she recognised you at first glance, so you shrugged it off. You smiled at her, your own form of greeting and thanks for her service. She nodded towards you, acknowledging your smile, in a way. Or was she smiling at the customer behing him? You paused, but decided it wasn't worth musing over it.

Thus, you made your way up the stairs to the private room. While you weren't sure what Childe had planned, you were sure your legs will be crying by the time you get home. When you got closer to the door, you realized it wasn't completely closed, instead it was left slightly ajar. You mused, was he implying that you could just come in?

You were about to knock, but then the sight that enters your eyes through the crack of the door froze you in your steps. You could see Childe was facing the door, the red shade of his hair certainly stood out. However, there's someone whose back was facing you.

You could never mistaken him for anyone else. Even if he was thrown into a sea of the masses, you can pin point him out before one could even blink. He was also someone who has been monopolizing your thoughts for years.

His back was hunched, his hand was halfway threaded through his brown locks and rested on his head, he seemed to be deeply gazing upon the cup of wine he had in his other hand. Signs that showed his not very well concealed frustration.

His throat was sore, his deep voice cracking as he iterates his thoughts and emotions, “I want to be there, I want to give them the best, but how could I when they no longer trust me?”

He had always been prim and proper with a posture as straight as a bamboo. He had always held himself with confidence and elegance, coming to him as natural as breathing air. He had almost been the epitome of manners, the prime example of an accomplished and cultured gentleman.

It was the first time you saw tears falling from his eyes. The first time you saw him revealed such weakness. The first time a splotch of stain appeared upon his profile. It was a side to him that you never got to know or understand.

He lets out a shaky breath, his voice trembling, barely steady as he asked “Tartaglia, tell me, what can I do when their gaze is devoid of the love I used to see? What can I do when all I can tell is that they want to leave me?”

All the sudden, you were reminded of bittersweet memories. The chuckles he gives off as he listens to your narrations. The warmth of his hand that calms you as he holds your hand during late night walks. The photos of stunning landscapes as he narrates his adventures. The steady beats of his heart luring you to sleep as you lay upon his chest during slumber. The little trinkets that filled your drawer from all the letters he had sent you.

Everything that he has shown and given you comes crashing all at once. Suddenly, you found yourself tearing up. How could you be so wrapped up in yourself that you disregarded all the times he had told and shown you he loves you in the little things he does?

You had always told him for you, actions mean louder than words. How could you be so selfish that you let your insecurities get the better of you, and render everything you and him had so painstakingly built together into nothing?

“Tartaglia, what did I do wrong?”

A moment of silence before he spoke once more.

“Am I not enough?”

You can't believe it took the love of your life to break down and become a mess for you to finally wake up and realize the truth. All your previous concerns were irrevalant and ridiculous. It didn't matter if he's a god, hell, it didn't matter if you weren't good enough.

All that matters is him, and if he feels you are enough, then who are you to go against his decree?

It was time you seek for his forgiveness, to kneel before him and confess your sins and how he was everything you ever needed and more. That he deserves the glow of the Sun to the tiniest sparkle in the universe, that he deserves so much more than you.

  The part of you that's riddled with insecurities thinks, he loves you this much, and maybe, there was an unknown part of you that deserves all this love, that deserves to call him your own.

Your hand pushed against the door a little more, widening the crack just a little more.

Your lips parted slightly, about to call his name.

Then, you watched as Childe pull Zhongli into his embrace. You stood there in the crack of the door as you watched Zhongli didn't struggle away, but proceeded to cry in his arms. Perhaps this is for the best, you thought to yourself as your hand fell back to your side once more.

Someone like Tartaglia would certainly be better for Zhongli than you. It feels like someone had taken a sharp knife and gouge the flesh of your heart piece by piece. You couldn't bear it, so without turning back, you left.

You knew the problem had never been him, but you.

PART 1 PART 2 PART 3

#zhongli x reader #genshin impact #angst #reader insert #genshin impact x reader #childe x reader #tartaglia x reader #tartaglia x you #lifewithoutzhongliwascatchingfishchasingcrabsandeatingsusdishthattasteok #lifewithoutzhongliwasalifeworthliving #howeverabrokenheartishardtoescapefrom #fluff

[jitzlemonade]

not breathing till pt4 of unnamed😡😡🤗🤗🤗

Edit:

You'll have to wait at least a few months, I have ideas but no good way to execute them yet.

To this and all similar requests,

I only have one thing to tell you, wait >:D

Also, please continue breathing, I don't want my lovely reader to die. XD

(and so far, I haven't decide how I want the story to go yet, though there are some suggestions I'm contemplating & I'm #lazy *giggles*)

[jitzlemonade]

UNNAMED PART 3

PART 1 PART 2 PART 4

Hey, I'm back. Thanks for the most recent ask that reminded me I have Unnamed finished. (what do you mean, no, I definitely didn't forget *sweats*) As for why I took so long, it's because I have no inspiration :D But anyway, I finished it *gives myself a pat on the back*

Let me know what you guys think, and any ideas or suggestions to inspire me so I'll be able to churn it out faster. I always love getting feedbacks from reader OwO

Also, obviously you can't find part 3 since I didn't post it as I am master of procrastinating XD If you can, I'll be shook instead >&lt;; Contains: Angst, mental breakdown?, insecurity, low self-confidence, assuming things, not for those easily triggered etc Pairing: Zhongli x Reader

Summary:

In the end, it's always you.

----------------------------------------------------------------------- You knew the problem had never been him, but you.

 Your eyes opened and an unfamiliar ceiling came into view. Faint sunlight shone through the gaps of the window, casting scattered light upon the dark room . The scent of what you assumed to be herbs assaulted your nose.

You blinked a few more times, thinking it was an illusion conjured by a sleep-addled mind. Nevertheless, the same scenery greeted you. This time, you decided to rub your eyes. In the end, nothing has changed and apparently this was not a hallucination.

You remained lying down as you covered your eyes with one arm. You tried to get your bearings together, trying to recall the happenings from the last time you were conscious. You were a thousand billion percent confused until it clicked. Ah, Zhongli happened.

 Then in the midst of that breakdown, out of the blue, came a very painful chest pain.  You would have never expected it, while you may not be as fit as a fiddle, you knew you were healthier than that. You release a sign, you never want it to happen again either.

 You didn't know where you were. The right thing to do should really be just get up and about. Say thank you to whoever that took care of you and return their kindness on a later date after you deal with all the frustrations in your life. The only thing that’s stopping you is because you had a feeling the person might be Zhongli.

You don't feel like facing him now, it would be heart wrenching and to be honest, you don't want to have another heart attack when you have just woken up. Thus, you decided to sit up and settle into a more comfortable position as you pondered, even if all you’re doing is delaying the inevitable.

 You look out the window, watching the birds that flew across the bright blue sky.  Countless trains of thoughts run through your head as you contemplate how you should interact with the once love of your life.

 He still is, but your love was too destructive for both you and him.

It was funny how your rational mind and emotions had countless fistfights yet it was always your small, weak and insecure heart that won. Although you rationalise numerous times that you were overthinking, your heart never failed to believe Zhongli didn't love you enough.

It wasn't fair you took it out on Zhongli, obviously he would be tired by your outburst, when he had been nothing but supportive and caring towards you even when you were showing the ugliest version of yourself.

 You know the reason he couldn't spend as much time with you. Although you can control your thoughts, you’re much less adept with your feelings. No matter how much he does for you, the self-doubt would never fade away, lingering in the depths of your mind and whispering your worst nightmares.

You doubt there was anything he could even do to make you feel better. After all, you were the problem.

This isn't good for either of us, you thought as your hands covered your face and took in a deep breath, hoping whatever stress building up within you would be released along with said breath. That in fact, didn't help as you could subtly feel the dread slowly taking over you.

Suddenly, you hear a loud thud.

You looked over to identify the source. It was Zhongli, with a fallen basin next to him, resulting in water spilling all over the ground. Your gaze then shifted upwards to him, carefully and slowly sizing him up. Trying to observe any clues to his current state of mind.

He looks haggard, eye bags especially prominent against his pale jade-like skin, his suit was messy, full of wrinkles and creases, a stark contrast from his usual demeanor. You could feel your lips quiver, but in the end you remained silent. What were you supposed to do or say anyway?

You watch as his eyes seem to regain their clarity, his steps cautious and small as he approaches you before sitting down on the bed beside you. His hands trembled as he reached out towards you, so close yet not touching you.

It was as if he was afraid you were just the morning mist in the forest, or a mirage in the desert, one blink or a touch too harsh would break this illusion. You didn’t make any moves, still unsure on how to face him.

After some hesitation, he bit his lips, as if coming to a decision, and finally touched you.

  The look in his eyes was so soft and gentle that it moved your heart. It made you wonder whether your brain was right and your emotions had it all wrong due to being too caught up with anything negative and blinded itself. Perhaps Zhongli had only you held close in his heart and you were truly just overthinking.

The soft rustling of the fabric against your skin however, quickly woke you from the illusion that he loves you. After all, if he truly loved you, why did every skin contact you ever had with him were all done through a layer of fabric?

Now awake after your outburst, you felt a bizarre sense of clarity flooding through your head. How could you have missed all those clues? The hints scattered throughout your life that you have so blatantly missed due to letting love blind your senses.

Zhongli doesn't truly love you, he was with you merely because he platonically loves you, and he wasn't too repulsed by the idea of dating you. To some, it may be wonderful news, but you didn't want to force a relationship on Zhongli just because you couldn't control your emotions.

The gloves he donned upon even now certainly represented your relationship with him.

Thin enough to feel him close, yet it is a layer you would never be able to penetrate, a layer that separates both of you from truly connecting as one. What else could induce more sorrowness than this? When the person is clearly standing before you, yet the distance between both of you was as wide as the universe itself?

He'll never love you the way you love him.

You felt him caress your cheek, a few faint brushes of his fingers before his hand finally enveloped your face. The intensity of his gaze flustered you, you remained rigid as his fingers trailed the side of your face softly.

Perhaps the fact that you didn't break or disappear was enough for him. The next thing you knew, you were pulled into his embrace. His face was buried in your collar, a sigh of relief escaping from his lips.

 He was glad you finally woke up after being tormented by the thought you would never wake up again. Staying up countless nights by your side, afraid to miss any waking moment or emergency.

His concern was clear and strong to you, yet you feel strangely numb even though his hands wrapped tightly around your body. It was like your soul was gone, and all that’s left is the ashes from where your passion had once burned.

 When he pulls away,  you place your hand upon your chest. You could feel Zhongli's enquiring gaze on you, oblivious to your intention. You decide he could wait later as you try to feel your heart.

There it was, a very faint but still steady beat, indicating your heart was fine and working.

That's strange, you still had a heart, but why do you feel... empty?  Looking at Zhongli, you no longer feel the same joy that flooded your bones, the euphoria that makes you drunk akin to fine wine.

--------

You could tell you probably relapsed back to the time when you hadn't met Zhongli. It was the darkest period of your life, when you were still too clueless and too helpless to decide on anything.   A period where the road that leads to your future is all thorns and darkness, a path where you always get hurt. You were so desperate for recognition that you were servile to anyone and everyone.

  You always had a smile on your face, always ready to offer your help to anyone. You were exploited for your kindness, yet you always give more and more of yourself even when it’s carving into your own flesh. In the end, you only had more knives sticking out of you.

 You were a bundle of all the lost cause in the world, no wonder no one could love you. You don’t belong anywhere, no one can ever accept you, no one would even want you. You don’t deserve it.

But then, there was Zhongli.

 He probably never knew how dazzling he is in your life. Everything else becomes blurred and obsolete when he’s there, all you can do is focus on him. He was brilliance itself, the confidence that radiated off him with every step, his posture straight and proper with every movement, a world heritage painting from every angle.

  He was everything you hope to be, the way words of admiration flow from his mouth would melt even the most heartless people. His articulation was enough to contend with even the best of debaters, able to convince anyone to agree with him. 

  Your eyes always trail after him as you engrave him within your memories, so you may have something to look back upon when you're old and frail. The way his ponytail sways behind him as he walks, the smile on his face as he converse, and especially those eyes of his. Those eyes that seemed to have all the answers in the world.

   His eyes were regal amber, akin to crystallisation of tree saps, the glow of cor lapis when the sun hits it just right. You wondered if Rex Lapis had personally sculpted him and inlaid the finest cor lapis into his eyes. He was just that charming, enough to pull you into an abyss that you’ll never be able to get out from again.

   He was the pivot, drawing in everyone’s gaze unintentionally, and you were merely one of the masses that oscillated around him. It was only natural, and it would never change. Yet like Rex Lapis playing a joke on you, it did.

  Both of you were supposed to be a pair of parallel lines, close enough to see each other, but never intersecting. After all, how can you drag sunshine into your midnight rain? But the moment his eyes met yours, you knew you never wanted to let go, even if it digs onto your skin and leaves scars.

The way his voice rumbles when he laughed should be a sin, the way his hands perfectly covers yours should be a foul. His eyes lit up, and your breath was taken away. His eyes narrowed when he smiled, and you were knocked off your feet. Those eyes of his entrance you like nothing else, they make everything else irrelevant. He was the sun, everything thrives because of him, and you were no different. Your world was grey and black, but now it was filled with splotches of colours. From the brightest shade of flaming red to the violet shade of the aurora sky. You were no longer surviving, but truly living.

And when those eyes had only you in their reflection, you fell for him.

All the inferiority that used to plagued you was washed away by his love, causing you to undergo a brand new transformation. However, now that you lost him, they all come crashing against you once more in calamitous waves. This made you realise, you are nothing without him.

Everything good and pleasant about you, everything you love about yourself only existed because of his words, his validation.

You truly were nothing by yourself.

—---------------------------------

You didn't have the most flattering appearance. Staring at the mirror for too long will definitely end with your confidence in your facial features dropping drastically.

The people you called 'friends' point at you as they commented about your features before laughing, saying it was all in light jest.

In spite of it all, what else can you do but agree and laugh along with them? Even if everything they said was like one bullet after another shot straight at your heart.

Worse of all, if you really said anything in retaliation, you would be the unreasonable one and couldn't take a 'joke'.

You were never enough.

No one really likes you either, halfway through a conversation, you felt the boredom or dislike rolling off the other party.

It overwhelms you, makes you stammer and fumble over your words because you don't know what exactly you do or say to incur their dissatisfaction.

 It gets draining before it becomes suffocating, completely eradicating your will and energy to keep conversing.

The slight delight emitting off them as they excuse themself from the conversation makes your heart heavy. 

You were never enough.

The relationships you forged were never truly yours, you were just there along for the ride. A friendship that people will only indulge in when it's convenient or they have no one else.

They would hang out with you, but would never wait for you nor explicitly invite you, it all depends on whether you're present when they invite their other friends.

 Still, when they were at the lowest, you were there. You lend them your shoulder, you allow them to hurt you so they would find comfort in the midst of their own pain, so they would know someone was still by their side.

However, when tomorrow comes, you are back to being a background character for them.

You were never enough.

The scars inflicted upon your soul were numerous, each one deeper than the last. A heavy burden weighs upon you, and you submerge yourself within the emptiness and the sorrow.

Wallowing in your pain was easier than confronting everything that's wrong with you. You were never enough, and there was nothing you could ever do to change it.

 And it was just so easy to submerge yourself in suffering, to block everything else out of your heart, anguishing at your pain yet doing nothing to change it.

But then there was Zhongli.

  Zhongli made you feel you were enough, he made you feel you were everything that's perfect and more. He made you strive for better, he made you flourish and bloom.

"Your beauty overwhelms me, that no words can describe it. It's similar to the sunset by Liyue Harbour, thousands of words and poetry will still fail to describe the complete allure of it. It is something so magnificent and enigmatic that it can only be appreciated personally with one's entire being and one's soul,"

He made you love your own appearance.

"My love, please do not hesitate sharing things with me. I will always be interested in anything you have to say. I particularly adore the way your eyes brighten and the passion you radiate when you talk about the things you love, even your expressive actions with your hands. I find you lovable all the same, even if you 'throw hands' with someone."

He made you love yourself, with all your flaws and quirks.

“You're more than anything I ever deserve,” he breathed out as he caressed your cheeks. His eyes were transfixed on you, as if you were too good to be true, and he dared not take his eyes off you.

He made you rediscover that you were important too, and you wondered how you even lost yourself in the first place.

-----------------------

Now, you know the problems between you were not only Lumine, no, she was merely the catalyst. There was a much deeper reason why your heart couldn't fully trust him, but you never realised until this very moment.

 It was the way you knew nothing about his past. You knew not his parents, or whether he was an orphan. You knew none of his old friends, nor did you know the scenery he grew up in.

 He was a storyteller.

However, he never shared his life before meeting you, merely throwing you small snippets which you couldn't piece a large picture with.

  It was the way you knew nothing of how his skin feels against yours. All along he was tightly wrapped in his gentlemen, never exposing any patches of skin.

You had never seen him without his coat, he always donned it, every button fastened and crease smoothened out, even if it was only the both of you.

 You could never tell with Zhongli, he was an enigma, a mystery wrapped under so many layers that you could never fully uncover.

Does he not love you enough to tell you everything, or does he love you too much to tell you everything?

What draws the line between too much love and not enough of it? You pondered yet you couldn't come up with an answer.

However you know, in your case, it must be because he didn't love you enough. He didn't trust you enough to tell you everything.

You broke the silence first.

“If you truly love and need me, why didn't you ever tell me about your past? Why don't you ever touch me directly without your gloves on?”

You looked towards him, your voice steady, but only you yourself knew your heart was beating loudly in your chest, and how the tears were about to fall out of your eyes.

 He didn't love you enough to feel your skin against his, he didn't find the need to feel your body heat without the barrier of a cloth. The fact that you loved someone so much and who doesn't love you back the same is heartbreaking.

He remained silent, and you knew he would not do it. Perhaps it was for the best, a way for both of you to part peacefully from each other without inflicting any more harm than you already have

However, he did the opposite.

He took off his gloves and rolled up his sleeves, and despite the countless time you have spent with one another, it is the first time you saw what lies beneath them.

It was not the pale skin you have expected, nor are there hideous scars littering his arms. In fact, it wasn’t anything you could have imagined.

Instead it was something similar to obsidian, that gradually faded to a pale gold. Networks made of brilliant gold formed a pattern on his arms, glowing.

You were at first fascinated with the exquisite pattern, faintly recognising one of them to be the geo symbol. Then you paused, a frightening relevantion making itself known in your mind.

You immediately looked at Zhongli, moving further back to widen the distance between both of you. You managed a weak smile, “You're Rex Lapis, ” How could you not know? When all of Liyue made sure to teach their young of the marks Rex Lapis possesses?

 He had hidden it so long for you, even after both of you verified your relationship with one another. You wondered, how serious is he with you? To keep such a thing secret until it was inevitable but to reveal it?

But what truly breaks your heart was that you and Zhongli were probably never meant to be. You didn't deserve Zhongli before, how could you ever deserve him now?

You were the filth beneath his shoes before, now you would not even amount to a drop of water in the vast sea. You are nothing.

For a god like him, a being from a completely higher existential plane than yours, could he even truly love you? He might just be playing around with you, watching as you dance in the palm of his hands.

Just as how easily he made himself part of your life, you were sure he would have no problems ripping himself out of it either.

  You believe even at this moment, incorrigible rationality still runs through his mind. He was the God of Contracts, no less should be expected of him.

 Therefore, how could he understand all the joys and woes of love? Something that is undeniably, mortal.

 ... However due to this discovery, a lot of things that were incongruent before made sense now. How he seemed to know everything from ancient times as if he was there to witness it himself.

He carries himself unlike a mortal being, where people's gazes would be attracted to him merely by his temperament and bearing.

Maybe you can believe him when he says he loves you, only that it was in the same way he loves everyone that dwells in his land and worships him.

He probably wouldn't understand the love you try to convey to him and hoped he would return. Just like an ant with a human, how could a human ever fall in love with an ant romantically?

They weren't even in the same dimension, much less on equal standing with one another.

Even if humans and gods can really bond with each other in a romantic sense, but with such a vast life spans difference, how can the god truly devote their everything to someone who would die way too soon?

Once again, you were reminded of the fact you will never be enough for him, so why bother ridding yourself of the emptiness?

It's akin to a cocoon, the comfort it brings you as you dwell within that darkness, that sadness within you.

It isn't good for you, you know this, it will destroy you, you know it well. But why rid yourself of that sadness when it's all you know, and all that will protect you?

You were already broken into pieces, you don't want to shatter into dust.

However, if the gods possess the ability to love someone with everything they got, you can't imagine the pain that would wreck them, the insanity they would feel when everything is done and said.

Love is beautiful and everlasting in the moment, yet it is transient, nothing can truly last forever.

Perhaps some mortals, some love are worth this pain. The kind of love that would be sung by bards even after aeons had passed, an epic praised by humans and gods alike. But how can you ever measure up to myths and legends?

You knew you weren't worth it.

Thus, a part of you hoped Zhongli was a little more selfish, that he would guard his heart a little more closely so you will never enter its deepest part, you didn't want to become the cause of his agony. Not now, and never. But there was a part of you which you would never admit its existence, whispers in your ears, "Leave him before he leaves you,"

So, you did what you do best. Run away from reality. You stood up and headed towards your destination with a firm determination.

Zhongli immediately stood up, wanting to hold you back yet afraid he'll break you even more “Wait, darling, pleas—”

You walked out the door and you didn't look back. You knew if you did, you would have stayed.

However in the end, only pain and suffering would be left. So you left, for both him and you.

All these while, you had been proud of yourself as Zhongli's lover, now, what are you without him?

—--------------

 In a dark alley somewhere, you collapsed onto your knee, blankly staring at something that’s not there.

Who are you without Zhongli?

PART 1 PART 2 PART 4

#zhongli x reader #genshin impact x reader #angst #mentally ill #misunderstanding #genshin impact

[jitzlemonade]

To the kind soul who sent me a request for unnamed part 3 and started it with happy holidays,

Thank you for the greeting and love. It is in my to-do list but as always, I'm waiting for inspiration and motivation :D

Anyway, it may be next month before I update depending on how things go.

Just wanted to let you know I read it, and I appreciate you letting me know about your affection and support towards the Unnamed series.

[Will probably delete this after I update part 3 ><]

[jitzlemonade]

https://jitzlemonade.tumblr.com/post/680118986796630016/unnamed THIS WAS SO GOOD!!!!!! can we please have a part 2

UNNAMED PART 2

Finally got the inspiration to finish Unnamed Part 2 yay, but its more of a Zhongli's POV :D. I was quite surprise some wanted a part 2 bcs lol who hurt u. Anyway, enjoy.

Pairing : Zhongli x Reader (ft. Lumine)

Contains: Angst, heartbreak, not Traveller!Reader, assuming things, mental health issues (maybe?), etc

Summary:

We know your side of the story, but what about from the man himself?

Tell me, what exactly was going through your head? PART 1 PART 3 PART 4

---------------

He finds himself wondering when and how did he fall in love with you. A petite, fragile person who somehow held all the good things in this world and became the morphine to all his pain. 

  Perhaps it was the way you light up with the brightness of the Sirius star itself when he comes near, or perhaps it was the way you treat him with such tenderness, the fondness flooding your eyes, that makes him swoon over you the way he does.

---------

  He is strong. He may have weakened after he lost his gnosis and renounced the title 'Rex Lapis', yet it was an undeniable fact. He isn't fragile like annealed glass, no, he was far from it. He was forged and tempered in the flames of brutality and war. 

   Even now when he closes his eyes, memories appear before him. They belong to the far, far past when fresh blood would stain his hands anew every day. The lives he had taken were enough to form an endless river, some were fair and some were unjust.

   He would never deny that part of him,  even as he indulges himself in wine and poetry. Instead, he delves deeper into weaving tales in an effort to keep their stories, the core of their souls alive. Stories that had long been buried in the dust, existing only in his memories.

   Time is cruel, the brightest of legends would fade into a dull light. Even truths could be turned and twisted until nothing but lies and deceit are left. Time is cruel, to the worst and the best of us.

  Erosion held Azhdaha in a vice grip, rendering his old friend into a rampaging monster. His mind, however, was still clear. He was cursed to never forget, to remember things that no one else would until the end of his existence. 

  If he looks at it from another perspective, perhaps erosion had left its own personal brand of mark on him too, but in a different form. Corroding his soul from the countless burden he has to carry, to remind himself of the sins he could never undo, and of the people he would never see again.

 He doesn't need any delicacy, not back then and certainly not now. Yet why do your tender actions melt his heart so? Even as Zhongli, no one had ever perceived him as someone who needed protection, much less as Rex Lapis, the mighty god. It was the first time anyone had ever treated him this way.

 

   And just like that, you occupied a special place in his heart.

--------------

   When you placed your hands in his, you told him in a light-hearted tone, “I'm giving my heart to you, you can do whatever you want with it.” The way you said it could be mistaken for a joke, but he knows you.

  He knows clearly what this signifies for you, and he knows exactly what you're giving to him along with your heart. You will surrender your love, your life, your everything to him, free for him to break or make according to his whims.

  You had given him the privilege of making you a monarch or rendering you into a beggar. All of it, with just one simple sentence.

   How could he not love you? And so, protect your heart he shall.

--------------

   He remembers the beginning of your walks. Back then, you weren't his lover yet. Still, you draw him in like a moth to a flame, but you weren't scalding him, instead, a feeling of contentment swells within him like never before, filling up the cracks in his body and soul.

   He loves your presence beside him, to be able to hold your hands and draw you in close, to shower you with all the good things in the world. He wants you to be closer to him, to see him as how he sees you. In hopes that one day, when his hand reaches out, you would gladly place your own upon his.

  He wants to know you better, and he wants you to know him better too. After all, doesn't familiarity breed fondness, and thus love? Taking night walks together would be best, he mused, you could share your day about what happened and spend more time together.

Of course, the hint of privacy that the night provides would be appreciated as well. Thus, he tried his luck by extending an invitation to you.

--------------------

   

   He could feel dread seeping into his bones when you stared at him with a blank stare. Ah, would you not accept it after all...? He thought the atmosphere was good enough that extending such an invitation would not be too sudden, but he was wrong. 

  The moment he was about to apologize for being too abrupt, your hands went to cover your mouth, face turning ruby red like glistening strawberries under the shade of the morning sun, tempting people to have a taste.

     Before he could regain his rationality, you began speaking at a hurried pace, mostly from embarrassment.

     “I— I— Is this a dream?? Am I dreaming—" 

   

     Your hand cupped your face, taking in a deep breath. 

     

    “Sorry Zhongli— ”

    

   The word 'sorry' was foreboding. He felt downcasted once again, his hopes tarnished. The corner of his lips hook up weakly, what did he expect? That you would gladly accept his offer? Thinking about it now, that was a little naïve of him.

   Seeing this, you panicked.

    “—I mean I like you very much! Wait no, that's not what I meant to say, I mean, it's not that I don't love you, please don't get it wrong that way, I do love you but that's another thing for another time..” 

   By the time you realized you were rambling, you calmed yourself down by slapping your face. The effects were quickly apparent, your tone became calmer in a blink of an eye, but the red handprint on your cheek was blinding.

   

    “What I meant to say is Zhongli, I would really like to go on walks with you..”

   Wait— you like him too? It wasn't just his hopeful thinking? Like your actions aren't just you being kind and polite but that you actually like him? His train of thoughts was running at full speed, surpassing even light itself.

  

   His line of thought was broken after you slapped yourself, he crawled out of the rabbit hole he was about to dive into, deciding to leave it for another time. Now, he was more concerned about whether your face hurt a lot due to how hard you slapped it.

  However, your next sentence threw his worry out the window, his brain submerging itself with an overabundance of dopamine. Yup, he is not getting his reason back anytime soon. He could feel the blood flushing his cheeks and quickly covered the lower half of his face with his hand.

  The palpitations of his heart were so fast he swore it skipped more than a few beats. His stomach feels funny, and he could remotely pinpoint said feeling was similar to the expression 'butterflies in the stomach'.

 

   Ah, so this is love?

-----------------------

  He caresses your hand in his, the way his hands engulfed yours awakens his need to protect you from all the evil in the world. Humans are fragile, he thought to himself as he traced the delicate bone structure of your hand, it just means he has to protect you better.

  

   He placed kisses on each of your knuckles as he looked at your face. Something else he realized was that he really adores the way your eyes flutter from embarrassment.

  He gazed at you, a smile hanging on his face, unable to extricate himself from the fondness welling up in him. Getting to meet you was luck in itself, but getting to be the one by your side, to be the one allowed to love and cherish you, it was a blessing he couldn't be any more grateful for. 

  

   If everything he had gone through was all to lead him right to this moment, then it was worth it. He would do it all over again because you are worth all the pain. He wonders how lucky he must be to have met you.

Before both of you part for the night, he leaves a kiss on your forehead. Instead of moving away, he wavers, his hand enclosed around your waist tightening just slightly, dragging out each second. He doesn't want this night to end, he thought to himself. It was clear you wanted the same, the way your hands clutched at his clothes, reluctant for him to go.

   Yet everything must have an end, they will come to an end, no matter what. His lips leave your forehead, but he proceeded to bury his face in your hair. He could feel your arms circling him, enveloping him in a hug. Just like that, the night drags on a little longer, with two lovers embracing each other under the moonlight.

---------------------

  As Morax, he had dwelt upon this world for more than six thousand years. As Rex Lapis, he had ruled over Liyue for thousands of years.

However nothing last forever, even the most fortified mountains can be eroded with the passing of time. Drop upon drop, it penetrates the crust and leaves cracks behind its trail. He only realized it due to that one conversation he overheard at the harbor.

    "You've finished your duties, go ahead and call it a day."

     Funny enough, how can a simple sentence evoke such profound feelings in him? He stood motionless among the crowd, the words loudly echoing inside his mind, resonating deeply in him.

He asked himself, "Have I already finished my duties?" He fell into a deep trance, pondering over relinquishing his role. It wasn't impossible, but was Liyue truly prepared to face the tribulations that will surely come after all by itself?

   In this case, a test is needed to reveal the answer. His eyes opened to reveal amber orbs, knowledge, and wisdom always crystallized within them, but this time there was a hint of curiosity.

He wonders, what kind of Liyue would bloom after the upcoming tribulation? He finds himself looking forward to it.

   His scheme starts from the moment 'Rex Lapis' fell from the sky. The falling exuvia was reflected clearly within those amber eyes, now, it was time for 'Zhongli' to play his part.

----------------

   The result was so much more than what he expected. While Liyue is prosperous, he always felt something was missing. Now, finally, all the conditions and requirements fall into place, similar to a game of chess. Liyue had truly exceeded his expectations.

   

  The lump of coal resting in the hands of the Geo Archon — Liyue — has become a dazzling diamond of a city. The corner of his mouth hooked up, and a sense of satisfaction arises within him. A sense of pride fills him like a parent who had seen their child grow up into a splendid adult.

    They were no longer the people who begged him to save them in the distant past. They were no longer the citizens who could only rely on him to lead a safe life. Presently, they are more than capable of protecting themselves, fledglings that finally grew their own strong wings and took to the skies.

    

  It was time for gods and adepti to step down and for humans to take the stage instead. Truly, the age of 'mankind'.

    He never thought he would let go of Liyue which he poured so much of his blood, sweat, and tears into but life always has other plans. Just like falling in love, he mused to himself as you surfaced in his mind. 

    

   It was indeed time to settle down, he took a moment to admire the waves pulling to and fro the shore, how wonderful would that be? A life with you beside him every step of the way.

    His time as Rex Lapis had come to an end.

  

    Now, it belongs to 'Zhongli'.

   

---------------------

   He wouldn't lie, the time he spent with Lumine was truly enjoyable. A bright lady who stands at the peak, one who had traveled across many different worlds and accumulated an abundance of experiences along with knowledge.

   

 Conversing with her would enable him to learn more about mortal affairs,  intricate details that he never considered for he was immortal.

It only helps that she came from an entirely different realm. Her adventures were eye-opening as well, and her having a good listening ear for his stories was just an extra bonus.

  Most important of all was that she was someone he could talk with without taking anything into consideration. Lumine knows he once was Rex Lapis, thus he has no need to hide anything that suggested so.

He could share his vast knowledge without someone questioning the authenticity of it. He could share tales of his old friends in their true entirety, without painting them from the perspective of a storyteller.

  For him, it was a time when he could be himself without the slightest pretense.

---------------------

He is— no, he used to be a god. 

It was something he could never bring himself to tell you. How could he? Rex Lapis was someone who had almost single-handedly leaded Liyue to prosperity for many years.

  Rex Lapis was so far high up, and power always attracts envy or jealousy. The people either devote themselves to him or detests him. There was one thing both had in common, however, was that they fear him.  He doesn't want your eyes upon him to contain the same trace.

   While the time spent with Lumine may be liberating, in no way could it compare to the time spent with his love. Lumine was someone he could confide in as a close friend, but it will never match up to what you offer him.

You were akin to an oasis in the middle of a desert, providing shelter to the unfortunate people that stumbled around the desert, lost.

  You were the moon that hung in the sky, not as blinding as the sun, yet you give him an indescribable warmth. Your silence was enough to piece together the broken parts of his soul to become whole again.

With you, he truly felt at peace, the bitter memories of the past no longer clung onto him with a vice grip, and he could finally... relax.

----------

  During his travels with Lumine, you never left his mind. Your presence and smile envelop him akin to the wind and sun itself, natural and comforting.

  

  Breathtaking scenes and mysteries that one could never imagine filled his eyes, and all he could think of was how much he wished you were there to share it with him in its entirety.

  

 It seems that the photos taken by Lumine would have to do in the meantime. He looked at the sunset, thinking of what you may be doing at this hour. No matter, he'll bring you here himself the next time. A smile appeared on his lips before he even realized it.

   “Zhongli.”

   

 Lumine called his name, and so he turned towards her with an inquiring gaze. She had a soft gaze when she looked at him as if she was reminiscing, or was it something else?

   

  “You really love them, don't you?”

 

  No name was mentioned, but there was no need for any. He knew well enough who Lumine was referring to, he felt his heart melt like snow in spring as he gazed back at the scenery once more.

  

    “Yes, I do.”

  Lumine smiled when she heard his answer. It was simple, but sometimes simple was enough to convey everything that are said and unsaid. 

   “I hope that after I have found my brother, I'll be able to experience a love like yours.” 

  

  Zhongli chuckled, his eyes curved into small crescents.

  “I extend to you my best wishes then.”

   He couldn't wait to go home to you.

  Distance indeed makes the heart fonder.

 

-----------

    The day you told him your apprehension, the worries that plague your mind, he felt his heart turn cold. He felt himself biting his lips until they bled. How could he have been so ignorant of your plight? 

  All he could do was hold you in his arms and placate you with words and promises he will fulfill. He felt how you cling to him as if it was cold winter and he was the only source of warmth.  His heart tightens in pain as he littered kisses on your forehead.

 

 Yet as much as he wishes to stay by your side, the contract with Lumine was sealed. He may no longer be Rex Lapis, still, he has to uphold his end of the contract, as Zhongli.

  Still, he tried his best. Every day when he couldn't make it, he would send you letters telling you about his day, what he did, even enclosing things he encountered in the letter. A violet grass, a glaze lily, and even a piece of cor lapis.

 He never had any letters from you though, but it was only reasonable. He was traveling, after all, it's ludicrous of him to think any letters sent would reach him when he doesn't even know where he will end up.

 

   It's fine, he would tell himself, tomorrow is the last day. He will be free after that. He'll spend the days by your side, pampering you with all the love he could draw out of his soul. After all, that is what you deserve, he thought as he smiled.

------------

  He came home not to laughter but to your sullen appearance, your face blank, deep in thought. He falters, his hand attempting to hold you in an embrace.

 The wooden board creaks beneath him and you flinched, startled by the sound enough to pull you back into reality. You greeted him with a soft smile, but he felt something was off.

 Whatever is it that has you contemplating, it is weighing upon your mind heavily. Thus he does what he does best, inviting you out for a late-night walk. He hopes this will make you let down the walls in your heart, so you confide in him once more.

 The truth was the thing that burdens you was baffling to him. The fact you even asked whether he loves you was so outrageous that his brain couldn't comprehend it. How dare you question that when there's nothing else he could be more certain about?

 

 He loves you, and he loves you so much that you may never comprehend it. He would tread through the coldest of winter and the deadly heat of the desert for you, even facing against Khaenri'ah if it means protecting your honor.

 

 He would gouge his heart out for you, letting his blood dye the land and the sea a bloody red similar to rubies and roses, so they would serve as an everlasting memento of his love. He would prostrate before your feet, kiss the instep of your foot and worship you, for you were his salvation.

 

 He would adorn your body with gold and jewels, while only the finest of silks would clothe your body, he is confident that even then, all that glamour would pale in comparison to the beauty of you and your soul.

Alas, he was no longer Morax, he was just Zhongli. A mortal man like Zhongli could not lavish you with such riches, and that was his regret.

  Looking at your distrustful eyes he sighed, how could he ever let you understand the depths of his feelings towards you? He was tired and angry, and he could tell all of it stemmed from his sadness. He promises you forever and forever is the only road he will and could ever walk. 

  The next sentence that slips out your lips sends him spiraling into the abyss.

  “This isn’t Romeo and Juliet, this is real life and I can go on without you.”

  The love you shared with him of course wasn't Romeo and Juliet. They were a pair of ill-fated lovers, destined to part. Juliet was not you, and he was not Romeo, your love was meant to last, even if the sun itself ceased to burn one day.

  He has given you his everything, yet you believe you had nothing at all. How can he stand it? Especially when you had no trust in him? When the gravity of his feelings was easily dismissed by you as nothing? He bit his lips, feeling his own tears welling up in his eyes.

  Yet he could not let out his frustration at your inability to trust him, how could he when you look so dazzling under the moonlight? The way your features soften, and how the silvery hue compliments the tears that glisten on your face. 

 Then you suddenly fell. The panic overwhelms him, unlike anything he had experienced before. He rushed out towards you. All his bitterness seemed so childish now. He should have done better, he should have because you deserve all that and more.

 

 He wonders how could he have been so foolish in the first place. He dashes towards Bubu Pharmacy as your body feels strangely cold in his arms, the warmth he always felt absent. 

 

  Please, let everything be alright.

PART 1 PART 3 PART 4

#zhongli x reader #genshin impact x reader #genshin impact #genshin zhongli #angst

[jitzlemonade]

THE MISCONCEPTION ABOUT COMMENTING ON FIC

I’ve read all kinds of posts both from writers and readers lamenting about comments on fic. Authors are upset when they don’t get any, readers don’t know what kinds of comments to leave, etc. And it finally clicked in my brain why I think a lot of people don’t bother writing comments. 

And this is what it boils down to:

Writers do not want praise.  We just want to talk about our story. 

I can’t speak for everyone obviously - but I think the majority of writers don’t care so much for the “omg you’re a brilliant writer!!” comments as much as we just want to hear your thoughts on the story. Even if it’s just your thoughts as you’re reading of “oooh x happened! I can’t believe y said this! What’s going to happen now that z has happened?!” We literally just want to talk about what we’ve written like you would with a friend about a tv show. We’re not out here demanding praise like some entitled narcissist. 

While praising our writing skills or writing style is appreciated, it doesn’t need to be said on every fic and every chapter that you read. If you regularly comment on someone’s work that’s telling enough that you like our technique. Readers shouldn’t feel pressured to have to praise a writer’s abilities every time they want to comment. 

In the grand scheme of things, talking about the fic/chapter is actually more helpful to us writers instead of spewing praise. It’s the same with artwork. As nice as it is that people tell me “wow your art is so pretty!” it’s a LOT more useful to me to get comments like “I love their expressions!” or “the lighting on this is gorgeous!” because then I know WHAT people are liking about it. If no one ever comments on my backgrounds, I now know what to improve. If most people comment on liking the expressions, I now know the strong points of my art and can use it to my advantage to make even better art in the future. 

The same goes for fic. If multiple people tell me they liked a certain part of the story I now know that things similar to that are a hit. It’s feedback I can use to improve the story and give my readers more of what they want. Without that I have no idea what they like about the fic.

Talking with a writer about their story also gives them inspiration!! Nothing gets us more in the mood to work on a fic than to have people wanting to talk about it. A lot of times just talking about one of my fics with someone will give me that push to continue working on it. Getting a comment that just says “great chapter” or “you’re a great writer” doesn’t do much to motivate us to continue that particular fic. But if you talk about the story and the characters it gives us motivation to continue working on it, may even give us ideas for future chapters. I would hope that those of you with “comment anxiety” find this approach so much easier than trying to praise the writer every time you read.

So that fic the author hasn’t updated in forever that you’re dying to read? Talk to them about the fic and the elements of the story! It will make the writer want to talk to you about it and will get their mind thinking about it, hopefully inspiring them to continue where they left off. Fics that are left in silence are more likely to be abandoned or even deleted because nothing feels worse than putting your heart into a story to have no one say anything about it. 

TLDR; Writers do not want praise, we just want to talk with our readers about the story itself, and these are the kinds of comments that inspire us to keep writing more. 

AMENDMENT >>> Some people are misinterpreting my words so I just wanted to make something clear. I am not trying to police how people comment - I am merely reassuring readers that not every writer is an entitled asshole who expects you to comment about how talented they are and what a gift they are to the fandom. I’ve seen this attitude in writers occasionally and I want people to know that most of us writers are not like that. We love any and all comments but you do not ever need to feel pressured to say how amazing we are and lick our boots. There is nothing wrong with praising the writer, in fact a lot of us love it, but it is not something that should be required if you feel inclined to comment.

A good writer will love any positive comment whether there be praise or not. A good writer will never have expectations or demand something of their readers. A good writer will appreciate their readers and cherish the comments they receive. 

[jitzlemonade]

A New Beginning

Riddle Rosehearts x Reader

Trigger warnings: None

Summary: Somehow... Riddle felt the perfect knows him, yet he was sure he had never met them before. Which begets the question, who exactly was reflected in their eyes?

The way you looked upon him with an unfathomable gaze always puzzles him. The emotions that swirled inside were so tangled and twisted with each other that he couldn't begin to decipher them. He wonders, what do you think of when you look at him?

(Whatever it is, he hopes it's something good.)

Sometimes however, he caught glimpses of what those emotions may be. You looked at him with eyes that radiated sadness, like you might cry at any moment, yet no tears fell. You looked at him with eyes that show fondness, yet remorseful. Sometimes, your gaze turns cloudy, as if reminiscing past memories.

(Did you know him from before?)

You were looking at him, your eyes on his figure and the name you called belongs to him. Yet he has this uncanny feeling that whispered to him, the one reflected in their eyes wasn't him. He was silent as he stared at you who smiled at him, the smile was real and directed towards him. It was his image that was reflected in your eyes.

(So what is this off-putting feeling in his chest?)

You remembered the Queen of Heart's rule, all 810 of them. Unlike his dorm mates, you had never failed to obey them once. He looked at you who brewed herbal tea for him every evening. The aroma was mild yet exquisite. He wondered, why weren't you a part of Heartsyabul dorm? You are perfect, in all aspects.

(He could see you everyday too.)

As time passes, you seemed to know all his favourites like the back of your palm. You will serve him tarts decorated with glistening bright-red strawberries. He will sip the tea you brewed, only to be delighted by the taste of honey upon his lips. Some occasions, milk tea would be presented before him instead of lemon tea.

(He wonders how did you know them all when he never told anyone.)

Best of all, you did everything without breaking a single rule. Just like that, his rule-bounded life suddenly becomes a little more colourful. The world brightens a bit. His steps were more jovial and everything seemed a little more tolerable. Even ‘Off With Your Head’ victims had decreased drastically.

(Yet the notion that it wasn't for him haunts him, but he pushed it down nevertheless)

For someone who has a downcast gaze when they look at him, you also emit joy. Two contradicting feelings that spiral him to an endless train of questions that occupy the back of his mind. What emotions does he bring out in you? Is it filled with euphoria, a dream that you never wanted to wake up from or was it a thunderstorm, a nightmare that you never want to relieve again? What merited him your gentle treatment?

(Tell him, who exactly is he to you? Who do you see in your eyes?)

He wouldn't admit it, but fell he did. He fell in love with your tea, he fell in love with the way you always pamper him, he fell in love with your companionship that calms him, he fell in love with... you. You who always greets him with a smile akin to blossoms in spring.

(A feeling that reeks of bittersweetness.)

People say eyes are windows to one's soul. He believed it, your eyes told a tale of mystery, filled with charms that enticed people. However, why is it that your eyes seemed to contain someone else? His instincts told him, the affection that you showered upon him was filled with your regrets for another.

(A bitter feeling rose, but he pushed it back down.)

It hurts so much when he realised the nagging feelings in him were true all along, that the one who you did all those for wasn't solely him. He was someone for you to project that person onto. Yet, you were gentle all along and still held him in your eyes, though a great portion was occupied by that person.

(Why must you treat him so tenderly? He couldn't even hate you)

----

Every time he saw people breaking rules, unpleasantness rose in his heart. He could feel the darkness in him brewing, but he always held himself back. He would draw in a deep breath and close his eyes to calm that darkness. He gave the rulebreakers their due punishment, but also a chance to right their wrongs.

(Unlike his mother, who never gave him a second chance.)

He won't penalise someone without reason. He won't restrict people's freedom as long as they follow the rules. Unlike what he had once experienced, he allowed more room for leisure. They did not have to experience their schedules planned down to the second. They did not have to suffer wordlessly, helpless to change anything. He wouldn't wish that upon anyone.

(It leaves scars that remain for eternity)

Their faces were dark with displeasure as they sneaked glances filled with resentment at him, too afraid to voice out against him. He hears the malicious gossip murmured behind his back when he walked past them. He tells himself, “One day, they will know it was for their own good”. Rules are made for a reason, for order in a turbulent society, for the betterment of everyone.

(After all, if he was wrong, then what did he suffer for?)

However, he watches as these idiots repeat the same mistakes over and over. They kept disregarding the opportunities they had been given. They already have it so much easier, yet they still fall short. The blatant disrespect they committed—he could never— resulted from a childhood he never had. His resentment boils further, how could they squander the chances they have been given? How DARE they?

(If it was him, he would have treasure it with his life.)

The straw that broke the camel's back was unsurprisingly, the same man who stole his tart but failed to atone for it in the right way. The moron insulted his mother, stating she was obsessive. He called him a tyrant, a bastard who failed to make a single friend who would guide him to the right path. The same thief even had the galls to say he was no 'Crimson Ruler', but a mere baby that can't think for himself.

(Worse of all, he was right.)

The blot accumulated in him finally burst out, his negative emotions amplified greatly. He was so frustrated and so angry. He was overwhelmed in the midst of spitefulness. How can they be such insufferable brats? How can they be so righteous when they are in the wrong?

(Something tells him he was in the wrong too)

He could tell he morphed into something terrifying, something that sends chills down people's spine. Logic told him he should stop, the consequences would be disastrous, but the power that now flows in him contaminated his mind. That's right, they were full of flaws. It was time he corrected their wrongs. Make it so they could never be as nonchalant nor disrespectful again.

(It wasn't fair he was the only one to bear this pain.)

His magic manifested and destruction followed its trail. The rose trees were uprooted, the grass lawn burned black, debris suspended in the air. He laughed menacingly, no one will dare to disobey him, no one will dare to call him a tyrant again. Who do they think they are anyway? They know nothing and yet they criticised him without any basis. His mother wasn't wrong, he couldn't be wrong either.

(A part of himself thinks this wasn't what he wanted, but he was too far gone.)

Everyone else stood still as they stared at him in fear. Something that's not him told him that this was how things were supposed to be, that this was what he wanted. He saw Ace and Deuce, with wide blown eyes. He saw Cater, face pale in colour. He saw Trey biting his lips, whose eyes reflect sadness. He felt a part of himself died.

(No one would help him.)

You were there staring at him with the same incomprehensible gaze. He determined within those complicated emotions, shock took a large part. The others were too faint and disappeared too quickly for him to make head or tails of. Those eyes of yours made him regain a small part of his sanity, dragging him out of the liquid malice he immersed himself in. What was he doing? A part of him hesitates.

(He didn't want you to see this.)

At this moment, a spell fired at him. His rage reignited, hatred beckons him and he submerged once more. He sneered at the insects that pestered him. You remained in the back of his mind even as he casted his signature spell, even as fury consumed him when Trey rose against him, even as he countered the spells thrown at him with his own.

(He hopes... you won't abandon him.)

As he fought, he heard your voice yelling. “Riddle! Don't...” He could tell you screamed with all the air in your lungs, but the words were too incongruent for him to understand what you said. His heart grew cold, so afraid of what expression would you have, whether you were screaming at him in disappointment or disgust.

(Please don't, his heart can't handle any more.)

Regardless of his fear, he spared a moment to glance towards you, he saw your desperate face as you tried rushing towards him. In the crowd filled with countless people pulsing with magic, only you who was devoid of any was willing to reach out towards him regardless of the danger. He knew at once, you were always going to be there for him.

(He was glad you didn't forsake him.)

In the middle of your steps, you stopped, held back by two hands with a deathly grip on your arms, belonging to Cater and Deuce respectively. He saw the apprehensive looks on their face. If he was sane, he would understand them, but now he was further enraged.

(He won't hurt you no matter what, but they didn't know that)

—--------

He was defeated, or was it really a defeat? He thought to himself, somewhere down the line he had already realised his mother was not right. He already knew something was wrong the moment he stepped into this academy. He realised not everyone grew up with strict rules, his 'normal' wasn't the normal for everyone else.

(Mother, why must she deprive him of all the delights in the world? An accomplished woman she was, but not truly a mother.)

Now that the blot was expelled out of him, he could finally reflect on himself. Anger was not the only thing occupying his mind in his moment of madness, there was sadness too. He once remembered someone said, sadness and anger are two sides of the same coin. He looked at himself, he was indeed sad at the injustice forced upon him. He was the only one to suffer, bound rigid by rules in this world.

(What had he done for such pain to be inflicted onto him?)

He heard footsteps thundering towards him, he knew at once it was you. You held his face in your palms, your forehead pressed against his as tears of relief rolled down your face. He pulled away to wipe those tears away and look into your eyes. For once, your eyes were different.

(It was... different.)

The sense of dissociation he always felt in you disappeared. This time, you were not looking at someone else through him. You were finally gazing upon him, the him in the present and not that person in the past, with your eyes. For once, he was the only one reflected in your eyes, no one else.

(Not through him, not at someone else, just him.)

Your hands embraced him tightly, your tears continued to flow. You stuttered a shaky sentence, breath still short from crying "Thank.. thank you... Thank you for coming back..." He could feel his uniform getting wet from the droplets, but he couldn't bring himself to be mad. He just hugged you back.

(He wondered why you were so grateful, it was his fault for losing control.)

When faced with his dorm mates, the words that he locked out deep in his heart spilled out and he apologised to them. He knows his mistakes and promised to rectify them. He saw Trey smiling at him, he saw Ace with a satisfied grin directed towards him, he saw his dorm mates getting a little more accepting of him.

(It wasn't much, but it was a start.)

You held his hand in yours and a satisfied smile graced his face. He gazed at your intertwined hands before adjusting his grip to be more firm. He made a decision, one he will never regret. He will make sure to make you swoon and sweep you off your feet so he will be the only one in your eyes.

(It already started, slowly but surely.)

He wanted to be by your side as both of your hair turns white, to accompany you as the seasons change. He wanted your smile, your laughter, your presence in his life. He wants everything with you. He was willing to be patient and start by courting you in the way you deserve.

After all, he knows you were the one for him.

#twisted wonderland #riddle rosehearts #twisted wonderland x reader #reader insert #riddle rosehearts x reader

[jitzlemonade]

Reblog if no matter if you have 50,000 or 50 followers, you appreciate every single one. Reblog if you appreciate the messages you get, whether it's 100 or 1. Reblog if a little smile comes across your face everytime you see a new follower or message. Reblog if even though most of us aren't tumblr famous, we appreciate the little things.

[jitzlemonade]

One Battle

Zhongli x General! Reader

Contains: character death (again, nothing gory), young zhongli, mentions of death?, kinda angsty but not really

(I believe young Zhongli was a menace to society yes)

(unedited, will probably edit later :'D)

Summary: The God of War, true to his title, craves battle and blood. Your country just happened to be his next target.

Wild, dry plains stretch out for miles before you, the sun blazing as it hangs in the sky void of clouds. 

  You could feel sweat rolling down your neck, ignoring it in favor of surveying the black swarm standing far opposite you.

  The army of Rex Lapis himself, whom everyone frightfully and respectfully coined the title God Of War. 

   His name itself instills fear in the hearts of the people. Tales of him slaughtering in cold blood and subduing even the Overlord of Vortex send chills down one's spine.

It was said once you incurred his wrath, nothing you love would be spared. 

  Rumors often exaggerate, but you know Rex Lapis's wrath like the back of your hand.

It was something that you couldn't forget, no matter how much you wanted to. Till this day it still haunts you deeply in your sleep.

You remember covering the distance of thousands of miles on horseback. Your army close behind your back, yet you never look behind, galloping onwards, never stopping.

Day and night travelling with nary a single break, all for the sake of arriving a little faster, you pray in your heart you aren't too late.

However, happy ending only exist in fairy tales. Smoke rises from your sister country, and you knew all was lost. Help finally arrived, but too late to make anything better.

  You still remember crumbled rubble with blood smeared on it, the scent of burning flesh remains fresh even in your memories.

A child barely the age of 5 remains still, seemingly asleep, but you knew their chest would never move again.

  A hand, shade akin to coal, stretching out to reach something, but never to move again.

A part of you wonders whether they held hope until the last second. Even as they face against sharp swords and knifes, did they still carry the hope that you would arrive in time to save them, only to realize....

You close your eyes and took in a deep breath, telling yourself to not crumble down. The frustration in your heart continues to burn, your fury directed towards the warmonger who had already left long ago.

   Destruction and ruin lie in his wake, lands once bustling with vitality left only with flames that engulfed everything and horrid smoke polluting your lungs.

  He cares not for consequences nor his people. If Guizhong hadn't existed, he would be a tyrant, and nothing more. 

  Everyone would have run with the winds and fled to the ends of the world to avoid Rex Lapis. 

 However, you bear a duty. A duty bestowed upon you to protect your people with everything you could exhaust in your power. 

  Therefore you stayed. Even if you knew Rex Lapis is marching here, even as your king indulges themselves in riches and wine, foolish to think they could triumph over the God of War polished by shed blood.

  You, who kneeled countless times in your life, fell onto your knees once more. This time not to show your loyalty to the king, but to beg. 

  You beg for them to open their eyes, beg for them to do something. You beg so that the country, or at least the people, could be saved.

  However the king was vain, no longer the hot-blooded and passionate youth who swore to bring prosperity to the country.

  They are now dull, intoxicated by luxuries and false peace. They were no longer the king, no longer the king you once swore everything to. 

  You wondered why it took you so long to realize that the king you once laughed with, shared blood, sweat and tears with, had already died. 

  Whatever was sitting on the throne now, was not your king whom you love and adore. It was just another greedy noble.

  That was the last time you ever kneel before them.

 Still, you would stay, not to protect the foolish king, but to give your people time. Time to take what was needed and leave this wretched place, in hopes they may find another oasis to settle down once more.

 You witnessed disaster once, you didn't need to see it happen again... You didn't want to either. 

  You closed your eyes when people left, making no moves to stop them. Your army follows your footsteps, turning a blind eye. They are loyal not to the crown, but to you.

  You didn't want to experience any more deaths, you let them go too. Yet they swore to stay here with you, regardless of the fate that will befall them. 

 They knew, yet they chose to stay. That's enough for you.

All these now lead to the present.

The moment your eyes met glowing amber eyes, something clicked, you knew at once, he was the one for you. When his arrogant gaze turned inquisitive, you knew he had found you too. 

It was the first time you felt something like this. This foreign and euphoric emotion fills you like never before, makes you high to the point of throwing away your rationality.

 The horns blew and both armies charged against one another.

  You could tell he wasted no time to reach you, way ahead from the rest of his troop, his golden spear striking as it reflected the sunlight.

  From his posture, his stance, his demeanor, you already knew others were no match for him. 

  So you shot out of your formation like an arrow, to meet him head on. Leaving behind a fleeting order for your vice to be in charge.

  You tell yourself it was to occupy him and divert his attention from your much weaker subordinates. 

   But you know that only plays a small part. You just really wanted to cross blows with him, someone strong, strong enough to give you the thrill of a lifetime.

  His spear came and you blocked it. Weapons trembling, trying to overpower one another with raw strength, only to find you were equal.

You take a step back, only to strike again. Your weapon clashed against his spear, hard enough to generate sparks that stings your skin.

  A grin, showing the fangs of his teeth, one that could only have come from a battle-crazed maniac. You could feel your own face muscles mirroring him, the same insane grin forming on yourself. 

 You could tell he found this amusing, finding a match, but in a mere mortal.

  Blood dyed him red as injuries littered all over his body, but you were no better. Your blood stains the ground below crimson.

 However your blood boils beneath your skin, adrenaline like never before gushes throughout your body.

   However, humans are just humans. Just like stars, the brighter they shine, the faster they burn. 

  After exhausting all your potential to contend even with gods, your body was left irretrievably ruined. You would not live long, but you would gladly lay down your life.

  For your people, and for this fight.

   One blow after another, a never-ending exchange of fatal strikes, so beautiful it resembles a dance between passionate lovers.

   This feels perfect, the emptiness that was always there somehow vanished into thin air. This was the missing piece you've been seeking all your life.

   One that completes you.

 None of you wanted it to end, yet both of you knew it would be the last battle.

 A battle that both of you have been seeking for your entire life, yet only to experience it once. 

   You exchanged gazes with him and knew at once your hearts and minds are one. 

   Only one of you is making out here alive.

    Only one.

   Out of the blue, a sword stabbed at you, a soldier from his troop. It was sudden, but still well within your capabilities. You attempt to parry it but the golden spear intercepts it before you could. 

   He doesn't have to say anything for you nor the soldier to understand, his gaze alone conveys his intention fully. You were his prey, and no one, no one was allowed to interfere.

  His spear pressed against the neck of the soldier, hard enough to leave a thin red line on his neck.

  He was ready to behead his own soldier, just for trying to kill the enemy, you.

  You snapped out of your trance. How could you have forgotten? He was not your better half.

Finally out of the intoxicated trance, the cogs in your brain begins to turn. After connecting all the dots, you were finally aware who exactly was the person you are fighting.

He had strength comparable to mountains, a disposition that sets him far apart from anyone, something you could never find in a mortal realm.

He was cruel and hedonistic yet he appears to be handsome, intelligent and while it disgust you to admit it, charming. A gaze that looks upon life like ants.

Ah, how could you have forgotten?

A monster draped in humans skin.

  He cares not for consequences nor his people. If Guizhong hadn't existed, he would be a tyrant, and nothing more. 

  He seeks and pursues only after his own pleasure. You wouldn't allow for such an atrocity, no soldier should be slain for assaulting an enemy, so before he could swing his spear, you strike first.

   His smirk was back, the soldier already thrown to the far back of his mind. You remained silent as you continued to slice at him, silently etching this scene into your heart.

 Emotions made you blind to what he was, even though it was only momentarily. 

 You remind yourself once more, he was a tyrant and will always be.

  You never stopped swinging your weapon, one strike connects to another like flowing water.

  You were determined to take him down, and he repaid you in turn. Each strike is strong and ruthless, any mistake would result in your death.

   You whisper to yourself, he is trying to kill and destroy everything you love. 

  Yet your heart sings in joy all the same. Your brain detest him, but this one battle has already won him your heart.

  Though this fight you were equal, so similar in skill that the winner couldn't be determined. A struggle where both of you are a hair's breadth away from death.

  However, you knew you could not win, not when your comrades are falling one after another. 

 You would never triumph Rex Lapis either, he was a God, a transcendent free from mortal bondage while you were but a mortal, fatigue and hunger still clings onto you in a vice grip.

  Everyone standing shoulder to shoulder with you had died, save for you who was the last one standing, fighting. The enemy made no move at you, obeying the command of their superior.

You were the prey of their lord, and they have no right to interfere.

   It would be an advantage for you, but you no longer have a reason to fight for. 

 Your army which has been through hell and back with you had already breathed their last. Their prized possessions littered the ground like trash.

  The county behind you no longer has any citizens, the only people left are the roots of corruption, they do not deserve your protection.

 The next blow came, one that you could either parry, deflect or block. You watch it come towards you, and you remain motionless.

 The spear stabbed through your heart and blood rushed out through your mouth. 

He knows what you're doing, giving up, and he was infuriated by it.

  You saw those eyes widen in shock before they narrowed. Wrinkles formed upon his forehead, chest welling up with fury as he grabs you by the neck, leaving you dangling in the air.

You no longer have the will to rest, staying still as you felt your lungs constrict, gasping for air that you wouldn't get.

 You closed your eyes, accepting your death and loss. For the first time, you heard Rex Lapis's voice. “How dare you?” Amber eyes glowing, similar to a beast's eyes in the dark, deadly.

 “It shouldn't end like this, I won't allow it.” Vortex Vanquisher fell from his hand as he shook you with great strength, “If you don't make a stand right now, I'll destroy everything. I'll kill everyone, even those who escaped far away. I'll find every last of them,”

  Sadly, the one who all these threats were meant for had already left the world. The words he utter could only fall upon deaf ears.

 Rex Lapis cares not for consequences nor his people. He chases only after his own pleasure.

 You robbed him of this fight in such a deplorable way, it ignites a fury like never before in him.

  He swore even if he had to raise you from the dead, even if it takes a millennium, he'll end this battle with you in a proper way.

  He would finish this fight with you and win. He'll see to it himself, after all he has never failed to get what he wants.

Those who suffer the wrath of the rock, would never live to tell the tale. 

And he had never been merciful to any who stood in his way.

His eyes glanced at the ruined country, a lifeless and cold body within his arms.

He'll be back, but next time for the things you love.

The people.

#zhongli x reader #genshin impact #zhongli #reader insert #genshin impact x reader

[jitzlemonade]

Masterlist

Feel free to request, but do know I take my own sweet time 0w0

Do be aware, I don't do nsfw, but maybe slightly spicy? Also, no pedophile thank you.

Anyway, please also do be aware I will block users with default pic and nothing in their account because I dislike spam bots thank you very much.

Will update if anything changes *shrugs*

Genshin Impact

Zhongli x Reader

Unnamed P1 P2 P3 P4 [On Hiatus due to laziness :D]

Zhongli has been spending a lot of time with Lumine instead of you, but it’s fine, he still loves you... right?

Ghost of You

“Things are beautiful not because of it being short-lived, but because it carries memories or stories of other beings, whether a person, a plant or even the earth itself. The transient quality only makes us long for it more.”

Never You 

You love Zhongli, and Zhongli loves you. Is it true though?

Unrequited Love

You love Zhongli, but he doesn't love you.

One Battle

The God of War, true to his title, craves battle and blood. Your country just happened to be his next target.

Other ships

Diluc & Kaeya  (PLATONIC)

8 Letters

“If all it was was 8 letters, why is it so hard to say?”

Twisted Wonderland

Leech Twins

Just some (idiotic) questions I have about the leech brothers

Riddle Rosehearts

A New Beginning

Somehow... Riddle felt the perfect knows him, yet he was sure he had never met them before. Which begets the question, who exactly was reflected in their eyes?

[jitzlemonade]

To the anonymous ask for Unnamed Part 2,

I'm a procastinator who works purely on inspiration :'D. I'll keep it for the moment, just wanted you to know I have seen it and is working on it

(actually not really, just wait until I get inspired then I'll crunch it out one day... one day...) :thumbsup:

[jitzlemonade]

Unnamed

(Unnamed for now, help suggest :’D )

Pairing : Zhongli x Reader (ft. Lumine)

Contains: Angst, mental breakdown?, insecurity, low self-confidence, heart attack from being heartbroken, not Traveller!Reader, assuming things etc

Summary: Zhongli has been spending a lot of time with Lumine instead of you, but it’s fine, he still loves you... right?

PART 2     PART 3       PART 4

   They say eyes are windows to one’s soul, and his eyes told a tale of loving you. That was why you decided to let down the walls in your heart, to accept this person into your small, small world consisting only of the few that you truly trust. You didn’t know if your broken heart could handle anymore heartbreaks, but you were willing to try it with him. After all, if even a person like Zhongli couldn’t safekeep your heart, could anyone else do it? 

   You savor the warmth of his hands in yours, the gentle strength behind it envelops you snuggly like a blanket of safety. The way he gazes upon you with such kind and loving eyes makes you feel you’re on top of the world. Nightly walks where he shares his day and thoughts with you. The way he places a gentle kiss upon your forehead before both of you part for the night, the kiss lingers just a little bit more, just to stay with you a second longer. 

  During one of your night strolls, the ambience was calming but he seemed to be… distracted. “Zhongli?” You called out to him hoping to get a response. It was no use, his head was in the clouds and calling his name didn’t bring him back to Teyvat. It was only when you tighten your grip on his hand that he reacted. “Ah, apologies my dear, I was absent-minded. You have my attention now, what do you want to tell me?” 

  You pressed your lips together, your voice barely above a whisper “Zhongli, if anything is troubling you, you can always share with me. After all,”  your hand reached out to cradle his face, “two minds is better than one right? Even if I can’t help you, I can worry about it together with you,” Hearing your words, the corner of his lips curled up and the beauty of it knocked you off your feet. “Thank you,” he said with a chuckle and your face heated up. With how deadly charming he was, you were surprised his existence wasn’t illegal.

   He seemed to muse over it for a while longer before speaking, “Actually there is something.” You stared at him puzzled, “ Rex Lapis has passed during Rite of Descension. It is my duty to give Rex Lapis a proper farewell. Due to this matter, I would be unavailable for our daily appointments.” He looks at you awaiting an answer, but the way his hands slightly tightens shows his uneasiness. 

   You smiled before you tiptoed to place a kiss upon his cheek. “It’s ok, I understand,” His tense shoulders relaxed and he smiled softly at you, filled with love. His eyes reflected his adoration for you as he returned a kiss on your cheek as well. “What did I do to deserve you?” He questioned in a joking tone as he pulled you in close. Your forehead pressed against his as both of you engaged in idle banter.

     Time passes, countless suns and moons have risen and setted but still Zhongli has not made a reappearance in your life. You couldn’t help but fume silently, why did Rex Lapis have to die now of all times?? You were deprived of your sweet lover because of this. The next moment, rational you realized this was disrespectful to the god which had brought Liyue to prosperity. You shut your eyes and called it a day. Basically, you stop thinking.

    The clock kept ticking and still his presence was lacking. You wondered if he still even remembered you exist. Then a brilliant idea struck your mind. If he’s so busy that he can’t visit you then it’s fine, you can visit him instead! You patted yourself on the back, nice going! Your lips curled into a smile before you realized it. With that idea in mind, you began to prepare as you hummed a tune.

   Funny enough, you didn’t have to make it far before his familiar figure entered your eyes. He was right in front of Jade Mystery appraising the Noctilucous Jades laid out before him. You were about to glomp him in a hug but the other figure you spot standing beside him stops you in your steps. From a glance you can tell they were a girl and it puts you off. You take a deep breath, okay this is not cool. Don’t just randomly assume things out of nothing, especially bad things.

 She was quite short, seemingly around her teen. She has short blond hair with two long strands framing her face, and two flowers decorated her hair. She has honey brown eyes that give off vitality and light. You wouldn’t lie to yourself, she does look divine. After drawing this conclusion, the flying object next to the girl caught your attention. You have never seen anything like it, it looks like a person? However they were very small, you wondered if this was a new species or a product from Fontaine? That’s where all the high tech stuff comes from right?

  Anyway you made your way to them, quietly to not attract their attention. The last second you pounced, your hands successfully laying upon its intended target, Zhongli. He was startled as you can tell by how fast he whipped around to catch the preparator. When he saw it was you, his vigilant gaze turned mellow. “It’s you,” a smile hung from his face as he called your name, “I didn’t expect you would be here.”

     You laughed, “Well I’m here now, what’s your other two wishes?” He gave off a sigh at your antics but his gaze was indulgent. Suddenly, he seemed to have thought of something. He turned towards the girl, “Let me introduce you, this here is Lumine. She’s helping me with the Rite of Parting for Rex Lapis. Next to her is her companion, Paimon.” Lumine smiled at you, though a bit awkwardly probably because you weren’t close with each other yet. You returned her smile before your gaze drifted towards Paimon. 

    While you were sizing up the flying creature, Zhongli’s voice sounded “ I’m sorry dear but I think we have to part here. Lumine and I are about to head to Dadaupa Gorge, it’s quite dangerous.” Hearing this you frowned, barely a few minutes passed and you were about to separate again? You pouted and pulled his sleeve, reluctant to let him go. He sighed and you feel guilty for delaying him but would a moment longer hurt? You felt him pull you and the next thing you knew his lips were interlocked with yours.

  From the start of the kiss until when he separated from you, you couldn’t react at all. You felt like your brain was fried and you were incapable of thinking anymore. You were sure your cheeks are flushed red by now, even the purest tomatoes would appear pale in color compared to you. He chuckled at your dumbfounded expression, “I’ll come back soon, just wait for me.” You nodded and you parted with him, feeling over the moon from the kiss.

   When the Rite of Parting was concluded, Zhongli returned to your arms once more. You couldn’t be any happier when you finally reunited with your lover whom you haven’t seen in a long time, it felt like it’s been decades since the last time you saw him. You really, really, really missed him. His muscular arms around you, your head leaning against his chest listening to his steady heartbeat, this was your oasis, a paradise that belongs to only you.

 However happiness doesn’t last, it never does. It’s akin to sandcastles by the shore, magnificent while it stands but crumbles so easily into sand. 

   You thought he would stay with you to make up for lost time, but everyday you would be faced with his fading back as he leaves you. You reached out to him, “Zhongli, where are you going?” He would look back upon you, “ I promised Lumine to aid her with exploring Liyue in exchange for a few favors. I’ll come back later,” He left a kiss on your forehead, but surprisingly the warmth that would always swell in your heart was absent that day.

   Your hands were cold without another’s to warm them. Your chest feels empty like someone has ripped your heart out. Nightly walks that used to have two figures huddling together have become only one, your lonely silhouette. It’s okay, you would tell yourself like chanting a mantra. He still cares about you, he doesn’t find you boring. He’s not using adventuring with Lumine as an excuse to avoid you. After all, being in a relationship means trusting each other, right?

   He still comes back even though he spends more time with Lumine. It’s fine, you tell yourself, let him hangout with his own group of friends, don’t be jealous. You don’t have to be his everything, relationships are all about compromising and accepting each other. You greeted him with a smile, but it completely fell when he mentioned Lumine in your conversation. It’s already enough he spent a lot of time with her, must he mention her during your time together too?

   You know the relationship between Zhongli and Lumine is purely platonic, but this ugly envy still brews inside you. You felt you were being wronged, shouldn’t you be his priority? Shouldn’t he spend a little more time with you than spending both mornings and evenings with Lumine exploring Liyue? Sometimes you can’t even catch him for dinner because he was with Lumine. 

  You were aware of how unpleasant you were becoming so you decided it was time to talk. You sought out Zhongli and told him your doubts and insecurities, but not everything, just enough, you still want your image in his eyes to be beautiful, not some kind of…green-eyed monster. He expressed his understanding, embracing you as he soothed your head, apologizing for making you feel that way and promising to do better.

  For some reason, the days he went out with Lumine became longer and longer, while the time he spent with you became shorter and shorter. He always reassures you, it’s not because he dislikes spending time with you but because he should help Lumine when he already made a contract with her. You nodded every time, knowing how he placed grave importance on the contracts he made.

  After it happened so many times, you were becoming numb to the sweet words that he would whisper to you before he left. You decided to wander the streets of Liyue and you happened to overhear a conversation between a heartbroken woman and her best friend trying to comfort her. The sentences slipped past your mind easily, but some caught your attention “ All men with slick and honeyed words are scumbags! They say words they don’t mean! It’s not worth it to cry over them.”

   Is that it? Could it be that Zhongli really doesn’t love you anymore? But being considerate of your state he doesn’t want to bring it up? That the sweet nothings he once spoke means nothing to him anymore? That the vows he once made to you doesn’t contain the feeling that he once harbored? That he doesn’t want you anymore. Once the seeds of doubt have taken root, they would fester and rot, and you would never be the same.

   One day you couldn’t handle it anymore. On a rare occasion of a walk which used to be everyday, but now once in a blue moon, you burst out, all your frustrations, anger and insecurities came out violently, pouring out so fast that even a dam could not stop it. Emotions that you kept away under lock and key so he won’t discover how vile you truly were. 

  “Why do you keep spending time with Lumine?? Why couldn’t you just stay with me??? I know I’m not good enough but you said you’ll stay with me, but you didn’t. You keep leaving me even though you say you love me. Am I not enough??”  Tears started falling down from your eyes, your vision blurred to the point where you couldn’t make out objects, just blotches of colors. “Do you even… love me anymore?”

  Your name slips past his lips in an exasperated whisper and you begin to wonder if you were the one at fault in the first place. You felt like you were the one being unreasonable, asking for something that was impossible from the beginning. Is it really such a preposterous request? Should you be denied the most basic thing in a relationship?

 You didn’t give him a chance to answer, you wouldn’t. You don’t want to hear it. “This isn’t Romeo and Juliet, this is real life and I can go on without you.” You were uncertain whether you said this was to persuade him, or to convince yourself instead. His lips remained motionless, but his gaze spoke volumes when your eyes met. It was transparent that neither of you believed what you had said.

He pressed his lips tightly together and you wanted to break down. Your chest contracts when his eyes show his weariness. That painful feeling in your heart suffocates you, like drowning on dry land. You wondered whether you were experiencing a heart attack or heartbreak syndrome. Your hand pressed against your chest in an attempt to lighten the pain but it was useless.

You couldn't help but wonder why the world was so unfair. Why do you always desire things that could never be yours? Darkness had already enveloped the skies, save for the stars littered across it and the moon hanging in the night sky. The silver moonlight shone upon him like a spotlight, but it was so weak, it only served to enhance his beauty and gave him a pale complexion. He was enchanting, and you were just... you.

Your heart continues to thump, threatening to burst out of your chest. One part of you wanted to give up and just succumb to this pain. Tears clouded your vision, you begin gasping as you tightened your hold on your chest. You had never experienced this, you finally understood why people suffered and died so easily from heart attacks.

 It felt like mountains pressing against your heart, you couldn't even take in a breath. Your head spun along with your world and you couldn't tell where the ceiling was and where the floor was. It felt like your heart was held by a pair of a giant's hands, pressing it deeper and deeper endlessly. Yet there was nothing of that sort, thus helpless to stop the pain. The only thing left was to collapse into your knees, your hand never left your chest, no way out of this enclosing space that crushed you from the inside.

You could hardly register anything except for that exploding agony whelming in your chest. However, you could faintly discern in your hazy world someone carried you accompanied by the faint calling of your name. Another contraction of your chest accompanied by a burst of pain, and the slight clarity you had gained slipped past your fingers once more like sand. Your eyes closed, your world turned dark once more as you slipped into your dreams.

You knew the problem had never been him, but you.

PART 2      PART 3     PART 4

#zhongli x reader #genshin impact #angst

[jitzlemonade]

8 Letters - Diluc & Kaeya (Platonic)

Pairing: Kaeya & Diluc (platonic)

ok, before anyone starts flaming me, I shall declare this is platonic.

This was inspired while I was listening to 8 letter by Why Don’t We

Feel free to go listen to it <3 :

https://youtu.be/C3DlM19x4RQ Contains: broken familial relationships, familial love, slight angst, childhood memories, slight ooc?

Summary:

“If all it was was 8 letters, why is it so hard to say?”

-----------------------------

 A memory that could never be erased from his brain. The heat from when his father's hands were placed upon his shoulders, the pressure that accompanied it and the heavy words which entered his ears, "This is your chance. You are our last hope."

  And how even until the very last moment, the last thing in his father's sight wasn't him. He was nothing compared to the distant land that lies miles away, their homeland, Khaenri'ah. His father's gaze laid there. Kaeya would never forget the look of both hope and hatred in his father's eyes as he uttered those words.

—------------

   With his own father as a standard, he truly find it hard to understand Crepus. How can this man treat someone else as his own son? When his own blood father had abandon him here to fulfill some sort of mission that he couldn't even begin to fathom? 

  When he first met Diluc, he both like and detest the child. How can he have such a loving father? Why does he have all the things that he lacks? Why can he grow up with safety, adoration and comfort while he was reduced to such a fate? Why? Why? Why?

  He was a mere child, he couldn't understand nor accept his father threw him away so ruthlessly. Jealousy brewed inside him. A part of him felt like mocking Diluc, a naive and pure child, someone worlds apart from him. A child that never suffered.

  However, in this unfamiliar environment, it was also this child that reached out to him. Master Crepus was kind and warm, but he failed to penetrate the guarded kid's heart. It was the innocent hand that grabbed his that successfully melted him.

  With him, he discovered so much more than what he originally had. The bright sun hung in the skies as two children ran freely in the field, laughter ringing out loud across the air. It was a scene of happiness. He didn't fake it, he was truly happy.

—--------

 The first time he said it was due to the musings of a child. 'I love you', people would say that to each other. As if it was a miracle drug, the receiver would be...happy. He wonders how mere words can bring joy to people? What is 'love' that's seeked by many?

 Diluc's face would light up like Christmas lights when Crepus say those words to him. Personally, Kaeya couldn't understand it even when the same words were directed towards himself. What is so grand about love that people flock to it?

  He doesn't understand it, but still he said it to both Diluc and Crepus. Diluc was happier than before and a smile surfaced on Crepus. He doesn't understand 'love' though. Anyway, it was just words and the expression on Diluc's face was interesting enough to continue doing so.

  Still he doesn't understand how 8 letters can make someone so happy. Still, he'll say it again and again just to see that dazzling smile.

Even though it's a lie.

-----------

  He still remembers the day Diluc loudly proclaimed, “I will join the Knight of Favonius and become a knight!” Flames of passion burned brightly in those red orbs.

  Kaeya wished he could have had the same passion as well, but he was different. Still those flames ignited something inside him, “Then as your brother, I will help you! We'll work together!” 

  Diluc glanced at him with a grin of his own, “Then let's help each other! After all, we're the bestest brothers in the whole world!” They looked at each other before bursting into laughter.

 With the setting sun as their witness, the two made a promise. Their pinkies hooked together to seal it. 

  Diluc held Kaeya's hand in his as they made their way backwards. Kaeya thought to himself, perhaps this may be 'love'?

  The golden childhood days that one can never return to again.

—-----

  The older he gets, the more that he learns, only then did he truly understand his position. Someone who was stuck between two places with no clear path to tread upon. Someone whose emotions conflict and clashed against one another due to two completely different goals.

  Who's side shall he stand on? He doesn't know, he doesn't want to make a decision. On one hand, was his homeland, the place of his birth, the father that had once abandoned him. On the other hand was the land of freedom which he now dwells in, together with Crepus who raised him with kindness and love, also the boy with a dazzling smile.

Where does his loyalty lie?

—--------

  When Crepus died, he crumbled yet he couldn't stop the relief in his heart. He failed as a son, he couldn't save his adoptive father in time. A part of him however finds it funny. Even someone as upright as Crepus would rely on such a vile power...

   As a brother, he had failed too. He should have been by Diluc's side, yet as their father lay dying on the ground, he stayed behind him, staring at them while an ancient plot ran through his mind. Perhaps the guilt consumed him and became the catalyst.

    He didn't want to do this, he knew the consequences of doing so, but Crepus's death seemed to have released something deep within him. On a rainy day, he knocked on Diluc's door, waiting. On the very same day, he told Diluc the truth.

   He knew after this, nothing would ever be the same.

---------

  Heart wrenching pain pierced through his chest when everything was over. The pouring rain seemed to be weeping for him who couldn't bring himself to cry. He stood alone, silent even when cold liquid soaked him down to his bones. 

   He remained still even as the chill penetrated him, his body shivered, wanting to shield away from the rain. He ignored it, this was nothing  compared to the pain throbbing in his heart. His eyes closed. It's done, he won't ever see that smile ever again.

  His fist clenched his chest, a feeble attempt to lessen the pain. It felt like someone had his heart in a vice grip and kept tightening their hand along with each passing second. Ah, is this what they call heartbreak? 

 Maybe, he understands 'love' a little bit more now.

—------

  Their paths diverged from one another from then on. But Kaeya still looked back time upon time to catch sight of Diluc. Even risking getting pummeled by the man himself by visiting the tavern.

After all, the affection he once and still held for him and Crepus wasn't a lie. The memories they share never stopped replaying themselves in his head. He was the happiest with them, his… 

 Maybe in another life, they can truly be... brothers. The word rolls from his tongue both familiar and unfamiliar. He had called Diluc by that title countless times, but things have changed. He closed his eyes and sighed, downing another glass of wine down his throat.

He could feel Diluc's sharp gaze sizing him up, so he chuckled. Secrets were revealed and the truth was told, save for one. 8 letters that he could never bring himself to ever say again.

Is it funny that he finally understands 'love'?

When everything is already over.

If all it was was 8 letters, why is it so hard to say?

'I love you'

#kaeya alberich #diluc ragnvindr #platonic #angst #genshin impact #familial

[jitzlemonade]

Ghost Of You

Zhongli x GN!Reader

Contains: angst, minor character death (very slight mention; nothing gory) Feel free to listen while you read:

Ghost - Justin Bieber

https://youtu.be/Fp8msa5uYsc Inspired by the song 'Ghost' by Justin Bieber.

ft. voice lines from Genshin Impact! Zhongli

Summary:

“Things are beautiful not because of it being short-lived, but because it carries memories or stories of other beings, whether a person, a plant or even the earth itself. The transient quality only makes us long for it more.”

----------------------

 He did find it puzzling that they would approach him so often. He was well aware many find him attractive, but most would be deterred by his long-winded stories... and his inability to procure his wallet when it's time to pay. Funny enough, even after many similar incidents, they had never stopped coming back to him, even footing the heavy bills during his shopping spree.

 They were also very patient, never once showing irritation at his stories no matter how long they got. Their eyes continued to shine with interest, even when everyone else would have gotten bored around this time. Once the seeds of curiosity took root, he could never fully brush off the nagging feeling at the back of his head. Finally, he caved.

 "Why is it that, once you finally get a break, rather than taking a rest, you instead come to me? Is it that you want to hear one of my stories?" His regal amber eyes stared at them, awaiting an answer. They mused over for some time before answering,  "Your stories are indeed fascinating, but I prefer your company much more, Zhongli. You don't judge people, I feel comfortable around you, I can just be myself."

 They beamed at him with a wide smile, eyes curved into half crescents. Zhongli stared at the curious creature before him before his lips curved up, this answer... while it wasn't within his expectations, it wasn't bad either.  When was the last time someone told him they feel like they can be themselves in his presence? All he remembered was respectful gazes and restrained behaviors around him, he decided, let's see where this leads him.

-----------------------

  "Zhongli! Here, have these" They tip-toed as they attempt to place something above his head. He mused, but still bent down slightly to aid them in their endeavor. When they were done, he touched the object delicately, careful to not drop it with too much force.

 His gloved fingers made out the shape of the object with each touch, he was delighted to discover it was a flower crown. He smiled at them before patting their head, “Thank you, (name)” Their smile was as dazzling as the sun, making him want to protect this smile forever.

-----------------------

 Their voice rang out loud as they thundered towards him in small but quick footsteps, “Zhongli!" He nodded towards them and returned the greeting with his own, "Hello (name)," When they came to a stop in front of him, a smile bloomed on their face as they presented him the item in their hands, an exquisite wine bottle. He could recognize it in a glance, Osmanthus wine of the finest quality.

 "This is...?" His question left unfinished, he wasn't sure what he should say. They piped up instead, filling the silence with their voice, "It's Osmanthus wine! I got it during my travels around Liyue, an old man was kind enough to give it to me after I helped him out a little,"  Suddenly they blushed, seemingly embarrassed as they scratched their cheek. "I thought you might enjoy it, since I heard you mention it a lot."  

 " Anyway, here you go Zhongli!" Saying so, they took his hand to place the bottle within it. Without wasting a beat, they proceed to wave him goodbye, leaving him no room for refusal "I'll see you around ! " They turned around, probably to continue with their daily routine, but something in Zhongli turned before he could even think it out thoroughly. "(name), would you perhaps like the idea of joining me to sample the wine together? "

 At this they turned around, eyes wide in surprise. "Eh, um.. ye? I mean, yes I would like to join you!" Their cheeks flushed from excitement, stars shining within their eyes. Zhongli felt his heartbeat fasten at the sight, he cleared his throat before attempting to continue the conversation. Their voice sounded again before his could, in a more calmer but still brimming with enthusiasm, "I would really, really, like to join you."

 "Might I suggest... Third-Round Knockout around night time? We could appreciate the tales told by Iron Tongue Tian while we savor the wine." They laughed and he could feel warmth flooding through him,  "I like to listen to your stories more Zhongli, but sure. I'll see you tonight! "  They then parted ways, leaving Zhongli to stand there, oddly very conscious of the wine in his hands. "Just when did this feeling begin...?"

--------------------

 It was the day of their birth, the day when such a lovable and merry existence was welcomed to the world. It was only fitting that as their friend, he would congratulate them on such a day. Other than that, they brought joy into his days and made many unforgettable memories together. He wanted to convey his own gratitude for their appearance in his life.

 On the night of their birthday, he invited them out for dinner. This time, he made it a point to bring his wallet. On this special day, he wishes to pamper them instead of the other way around.  When he recalled the bliss in their eyes when he asked them, he found himself smiling too. Before he realizes it, they have already begun to affect his emotions.

 After dinner, they accompanied him on a walk. The streets are silent, hardly a soul due to being late in the night. The only source lighting up their path was the moon hanging proudly in the sky, the sole witness of their stroll. At this moment, no conversation was made, both satisfied with just the company of each other. As Zhongli looked at them, he thought to himself, this was something he wouldn't ever get tired of.

 When they reached Liyue Harbor's docks, Zhongli decided it was the perfect opportunity to finally present them with his present. "Happy Birthday. This is a dried glaze lily that came into bloom on the day of your birth. Long ago, the people of Liyue would say that this flower blooms bearing the weight of the beautiful memories and prayers of the land. I believe this to have been applied on the day you were born as well."

  He looked at them, their beauty seemingly more enchanting under the allure of moonlight. He saw as their eyes glazed over with tears, taken back by his words. They received the flower from his hand, with a leap of faith, they placed a kiss on his cheek before running away with hasty steps. He could hear a faint "Thank you," in the breeze. He smiled to himself, must they be so adorable?

  They are truly... fascinating.

-----------------

Another day, another beginning.

"Zhongli," they called out to him again, a radiant smile on their face. He looked towards them, "Yes, is there anything you require my help with, (name)?"  They looked so offended by his question, alike to him when seafood is presented before him, but in a more playful way. "Zhongliiii," They drawled out his name, lips in a pout, "Do I look like the type to only find you when I need something??"

 He chuckled at this cute display of dissatisfaction, shaking his head with a small smirk, "Very well, what is the purpose of your visit then?"  Their eyes blinked once or twice, seemingly contemplating his choice of words,  "I dunno why, but you made it sound like I have an ulterior motive."  They grumbled under their breath as they rummaged through their bag, looking for something.

 "Aha!" They exclaimed as they pulled out a nicely packaged box from their bag. "Here you go! Feel free to open it." They said as they plopped the box into his hand, "A gift? I presumed," He looked towards them, only to be greeted by a pair of expectant eyes, clearly unable to control their curiosity on whether he'll like the present. "Yes, in return for the birthday gift you gave me." Ah, the dried glaze lily. He smiled before focusing his attention back onto unboxing the present.

 It was a dragon sculpture, a splitting image of his exuvia. He raised the object under the sunlight, appraising the intricate details on the model. They even got the minor details correct. "An exceptional sculpture that could have only been carved by the hands of the most skilled craftsmen. Made from the finest quality of cor lapis judging by the translucent amber material. I am thrilled to receive such a thoughtful gift, (name)."  The longer he looked at it, the more he would be in awe, how can a craftsman of such caliber remain unknown?

  They coughed into their hand, successfully directing his attention back to them. With a shy smile they proclaimed proudly, "I made it. From the materials to the craving, I did it all myself."  Zhongli felt pleasantly shocked from this unexpected revelation, "It's a hobby that I picked up during my travels, um, it's really nothing hehe." Their hands move to hide behind their back as they rock back and forward on their feet, "I'm just really glad you like it."

  Somehow, he could feel himself slightly blushing from emotions that he couldn't pinpoint clearly. "Even throughout the years I have lived through and the things I have seen, few could contend with your work, much less triumph it."  His eyes meet their gaze, wanting to make sure this truly reaches them, " Do not doubt yourself, you are remarkable." The way they looked when they got his validation reminds Zhongli of someone who has been in the shadows of others for eons, like a diamond buried under the sand, suddenly getting recognition that they think they did not deserve.

 "... thankyouforthecompliment." leaving behind a jumbled up sentence, they made their way away from him. He wonders if he offended them with his words, but the redness that lingers in their ears showed the true feelings of their owner. They were not disgusted, nor angry, but merely couldn't bring themself to confront such a sincere, heartfelt compliment. Zhongli could feel his heart clenching tightly in his chest, making him a little lightheaded.

He thinks he might be...

---------------

  On the top of Mount Aozang sat them and Zhongli, another one of their outings with each other. They were here to catch the sunrise, to witness the beauty of nature. They each had a cup of tea in hand as they awaited the moment.

 The sun rose slowly but surely, tinting the night sky with warm colors. Such a beautiful moment that lasts merely an instance before the mythical beauty disappears. The silence between them was broken with their voice, “Do you think things are beautiful only because they're transient?”

 Zhongli paused, pondering over the question as he sipped his tea, "In my opinion, things are beautiful not because of it being short-lived, but because it carries memories or stories of other beings, whether a person, a plant or even the earth itself. The transient quality only makes us long for it more. "

 They laughed in mirth, turning to look at him. Their gaze was deep, contemplating, mulling over their unvoiced thoughts. Zhongli kept silent,  giving them time to formulate their ideas and opinions. The stillness lasted for quite a while before they spoke, "What about you?" He could tell there was another question, though unvoiced. 'What about me?'

 "For those that live too long, the friends of days gone by and scenes from their adventures live on in their memories. As such I have no regrets in meeting you, (name). Should the day ever come that we are not together, you will continue to shine like gold in my memories."

 Their gazes met each other once more before they broke into a smile. "Sounds like you can't wait for the day we aren't together." However it was said in a light jest. "Thank you, for always being honest with me, and for liking me so much." They moved towards him to hug him.

  He returned their embrace, his hand threading through their hair. The mere traces of sunlight not blocked by the leaves shone on them, he craved this sight and his feelings into his memory. The safety, comfort and unwavering trust flooding his veins.

  He could no longer deny it.

  He is in love with them.

-----------

 However, these are just the distant past.

 They were no longer there.

  All he could cling onto now are the memories they had once made together.

 Now he is left broken, kneeling before a tomb. His fingers traced the name engraved onto the stone, (name) (last name).

 Translucent hands that bear no weight lied on his shoulders, his hand reached upwards to caress one of it. "I know (name), but I can't bear to let you go yet."

If I can't be close to you, I'll settle for the ghost of you.

Even if the ghosts are merely his memories of the past.

#zhongli x reader #angst #genshin impact #genshin impact x reader #genshin zhongli #zhongli #reader insert #gender neutral reader #character death #minor character death

[jitzlemonade]

Leech Twins

Hear me out, so the leech brothers are moray eels right? I did some research and found out moray eels with sharp teeth (the leech brothers have sharp teeth, I think that's an undisputed fact) eats cephalopod, which includes octopus.

And viola, Jade favourite food happens to be octopus carpaccio. (An Italian dish, yes I searched it) This means he definitely eat octopuses. Then does Azul (an octo-mer) finds this fact uncomfortable? Or is he like nah they're not my kind? I mean octopus are his animal counterpart right? Does mer feel any sort of kinship with their animal counterpart?

Also, Jade happens to dislike conger eels. Seeing this on his profile made me go what straightout. To dislike something means you have to at least ate it before right? So does eels practice cannibalism? Another search on Google reveals yes, cannibalism are present in moray eels.

( Moray eels and Conger eels are both considered true eels, so yes it's definitely cannibalism; or at least I think)

Ok, so almost everyone is food for moray eels, then another question, what's stopping him from eating octo-mer? Moral obligation? (I highly doubt that) Or do they see all merfolk as part of their kind and couldn't be eaten?

Maybe some of these questions answer are obvious, but I'm stupid and need someone to write it out for me. Thank you :'D

#twst #twisted wonderland #leech twins #floyd leech #jade leech #octavinelle #azul ashengrotto #marine biology #howdoesmerfolkwork?

[jitzlemonade]

Never You

Zhongli / Reader  ft.Guizhong

Contains: angst, hurt no comfort, hung up over one’s past love, unhealthy relationship, mention of mild violence (very mild, really), also kinda mentally ill reader? 

Tell me if there’s anything I missed

Summary:

You love Zhongli, and Zhongli loves you. Is it true though?

  When he looks at you, you could tell it's full with adoration. A love filled with so much passion that seems like it will never come to an end. He loves with such gentleness and respect that it felt like he placed a crown on your head himself. Your hands in his as together you twirled under the moonlight, a part of you wonders, were you someone deserving of his love?

 Faced with his deep affectionate eyes, a part of you berated you for doubting him. Your body moved along with his stride, tracing beautiful patterns with your footsteps. Alas, all good things come to an end. The moon hung high in the sky when the dance slowed down before coming to a complete stop. Leaving two lovers standing still as they held each other in their gazes, a certain ambiguity between them.

 He smiled and held your hand towards him, leaning downwards to lay a faint kiss upon your hand, gone as quickly as it came. However, the heat that accompanied it still remained, making you hyper aware of the tender kiss. You could feel red staining your cheeks as you looked away from him. With him, you were the noblest person in the world. There was nothing that you were unworthy of, all the gold and riches in the world are laid before your feet solely for your choosing.

Your flush never faded as his fingers moved to intertwine with yours, stars seemed to glow within his eyes as he smiled, filled with all the beauty in the world. His melodious voice rang in your ears. "Did you enjoy today, my love?“ He asked, his bright eyes centered on you. You nodded, you didn't trust your voice to not fail you. He was too breathtaking at this moment, with the moon shining upon his ethereal appearance, granting him an even more mysterious bearing.  

You murmured in your heart, perhaps one of these days when you wake up, he will no longer be by your side, like an intoxicating dream that vanished into thin air. You knew you would never deserve him, yet you clung onto him in your own way. You were unable to extricate yourself from his allure that radiates off him with each of his movements, whether it be a mere wave of his hand, or the way his lips curled up when he finds something amusing. He was a wine that you will always be drunk on and never once sober again.

 As if he could hear your thoughts, he spoke up, "Is anything troubling you, my dear?" Startled, you quickly shook your head, "No, nothing of the sort Zhongli," but the nervous chuckle you let out wasn't fooling anyone. He stared at you, like he could see through all your disguise and peer into the truth, he caressed your cheeks " Please, don't hide anything from me..."  He bend down to press his forehead against yours, coming so close that you could feel his breath upon your skin.

 His worried eyes tore down your walls and you clutched into him, tears welling up in your eyes, "Zhongli... do I really deserve you?" The way he looked at you should be illegal, as if your words held a dagger that stabbed countless times at him, also as if you uttered the most unbelievable thing in existence. He sighed as he pulled you into his embrace once more, "You hold a mirror up to the Goddess of Dust herself, never doubt yourself." He muttered as he placed a kiss upon your head.

 You smiled, as if you could compare to a goddess, but still you indulge yourself for once.

  If only you knew the true implication behind it.

  The seasons changed, yet some things still stay the same. Shoulder to shoulder with Zhongli as you strolled down the streets of Liyue. Along the walk, Zhongli would share ancient tales long lost to time with you. The way he weaves and presents such intricate stories leaves you to marvel in awe. For a period of time, he brings you back into the far, far past to experience it for yourself. The story was alive, and you were part of it, you were there to experience it in its entirety with your own eyes.

 Of course, when the last word left his lips, you were brought back to reality. Once again, you were reminded you weren't truly a part of it. However, it doesn't stop you from appreciating history. All stories carried their own unique charm and Zhongli had never failed to breathe life into them all. However, he seemed to have a soft spot for a certain person's tale. Perhaps he himself was oblivious to it.

 When she was mentioned, his voice softened, gentle in a way that you have never experienced yourself. His eyes seemed to reflect a thousand emotions, eyes that could have only come from living through centuries, and losing everyone you have ever loved. The love he had for her seemed like it seeped deep into his bones and was a fundamental part of him, unable to ever unentangle himself from it. It gave off the feelings they were star-crossed lovers, transcending beyond space and time.

 Guizhong, Goddess of Dust.

 He narrates her with adoration, using all the wondrous in the world to describe her. Her kindness, her grace, her gentleness, her wisdom, her love for humans, it all spun out to form a perfect deity, one who was dignified and elegant. One who clearly captured the hearts of everyone. She who loves, and is loved in return, even by the man before you now. She seemed too good for the world, and clearly is. She had gone far too soon and perished during the wretched Archon War. Even then, she was still beautiful as she laid in the midst of Glaze Lilies.

     At the start, you held deep reverence for the goddess of dust. A person who was benevolent and wise even at the end. Now, it only reminded you of how you could never compare to her. Stunning, compassionate and noble, even successfully garnering Zhongli's esteem and devotion.

     A far cry from you.

 You tried, but how could you when this ugly feeling threatened to burst out? You told yourself to stop, but yet the need to desecrate her image never faded. How could you not? When the man of your dreams paints her with such a tender tone? Aren't you mine? You would question but never dared to voice out, why is it she was always in his eyes but not you?

"Was Guizhong really such a wonderful goddess, Zhongli? After all, even gods have their flaws..."

 For the first time, he looked towards you with a disappointed look, "I assure you, not one word I've spoken is a lie." The way he looked at you seemed to have changed slightly too, it was slight, but you pin-pointed it. His eyes suddenly seemed a little more clear-headed, while the love was still in his eyes, it had become just a bit fainter. This spirals you down into a hole of anxiety, what if he realized what a petty person I am? What if he doesn't love me anymore?

 This anxiety morphed into anger in a blink of an eye, how dare he when you just implied she may not be as perfect as he thinks she is? How dare she dare steal Zhongli who had pledged to love you? You wanted her to be alive again just so you could strangle her with your own hands. This was blasphemy, but you will gladly sink into sin. When this thought flashed, it felt like a cold bucket of water was poured on you. How could you? How could you, even for just a moment, think of doing something so cruel?

 You stared at your hands, you realized you were morphing into something terrible. Your hands clenched with your eyes shut tightly. You have to be more careful from now on. A part of you tells you, he doesn't love you. You ignored it, that was just the crazy, psychopathic and bloodthirsty monster in you talking.

Little did you know, it was the part of you that was the most sane, and the one who had seen through everything.

 You were jealous of Guizhong, yet you find yourself emulating her. After all, praises would rain upon you from Zhongli's lips whenever you were to don on clothes that reek of her demeanor. The love in his eyes deepens and you feel like a queen once more. However, was this really happiness? You knew what was going on, however you looked away from the truth. Anything, anything but the truth.

 One time he slipped up, shattering the already fragile fantasy you pieced together. It might be your fault. Under the night sky, you stood in the midst of blooming glaze lilies, humming a soft tune. The moon shined upon your features so alike to the goddess of dust, that he who chanced upon the scene saw Guizhong. Before his logic kicked in, he had already spoken a name, a name that is not yours. 

  You already knew, yet it hurts like the first time. Tears glided down your eyes as you looked at Zhongli.

 You were the splitting image of Guizhong, the one who he truly loves. That's why he looks at you with such fondness in his eyes. That was why his love was also ever-changing, every time you did something Guizhong would never do, he'll awaken from this delusion a little bit more.

  Never once had he called your name once, settling for endearment terms like 'my love' 'my dear' because it was never you who he sees in his eyes. Never once had he kissed you on the lips, deep in the illusion he may be, yet he rejects you. Never once had he vow to you forever, because it was not you who he wants.

Never you.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

The two stared at each other under the moonlight, one lost in the past, the other broken in the present.

#zhongli x reader #zhongli #genshin impact #unrequited love #angst #reader insert #PAIN

[jitzlemonade]

Zhongli x Reader: Unrequited Love

TRIGGER WARNINGS: Suicidal thoughts, attempt suicide, angst

Also contains: one-sided pining, unrequited love etc

If you press keep reading, it mean you consented to anything that’s in this fic. Don’t sue me QAQ

Also, moved this from my ao3 acc under the same user name Summary:

You love Zhongli, but he doesn't love you.

As you walked down the streets of Liyue, you saw in the distance the silhouette of a familiar tall man browsing through the merchandise offered by various stalls. "Zhongli xiansheng!" Hearing the call of his name, he tilt his head towards you, and a smile graced his features. "Ah, it's you. Pleasure to see you again." Somehow merely hearing his voice is enough to flood your brain with dopamine, rendering you into a helpless mess. Indeed, you were smitten with this man.

Your eyes met his but you quickly diverted your eyes away. His eyes had an unfathomable depth to it, as if he had witness the rises and falls of countless civilization. You chastised yourself, what were you thinking? Zhongli may be mature, and each of his opinion held deep wisdom, but it is impossible for a mortal to live pass a century. You shook your head slightly to clear your mind before walking up to him.

Zhongli looked at you with worried eyes, concern laced his voice, "Are you alright? If you have a headache or experiencing any discomfort, I could accompany you to see Dr. Baizhu to get a check-up," Once again, his concern made you blushed a shade similar to tomato. You shook your head again, "I'm okay Zhongli xiansheng, it's nothing to worry about." You flashed a big smile at him, he nodded towards you, seemingly convinced. "Very well, however, please do not hesitate to inform me if anything plagues you,"

It's these little things that made your heart whelm with warmth, made you melt like ice on a summer's day. He had always treated you politely and never mistreated you. What truly captured your heart was his patient demeanor, he had never brushed aside your feelings or thoughts as immature or baseless. You could still remember how bad it cut when your own parents dismiss your words that once time you tried to reach out.

You felt you were stranded in a stormy sea with a single driftwood as your lifeline. You kept going underwater, buried by the strong waves and you could hardly breathe for even a moment. The lack of air burns your lungs and death beckoned you to its arms. You tried to seek the embrace of your parents, to find something to anchor you to the living world, safe from being swept by the turbulent waters. Yet, your desperate gesture for help was returned by a mere "You think too much."

It did nothing to help and only made you sunk deeper into the dark ocean. The storm still rages and you knew no one would come extend a hand to you. You were so tired, as for what happened next, you were ashamed to say it, you still are, you were tempted and finally chose the easy way out. Dead in the night, you walked barefooted, still dressed in your night clothes. Before you knew it, you had reached your destination.

You stood above the bridge, starring at the you reflected by the dark waters. You climbed past the fence, your toes arched as you stood on the ledge, your hands still clung into the bars of the fence. A part of you suddenly hesitate to go through with what you had planned, while the other part continues to entice you with a world free of suffering. You closed your eyes and you no longer hesitate.

Your fingers loosen, and you fell. However, before you could meet your doom, a hand caught yours and pulled you up. The close brush with death blurs your eyes as tears came pouring down. You clutch onto the clothes of the kind stranger that saved your life and you cried. You could feel the person's hesitation, unsure on how to comfort a crying person, before they finally settled on patting your head while the other hand hugged you.

You poured out your grievances, all your pain and they calmly accepted it all. You felt no judgement, no condescension from this mellow hug. This stranger who you had never even seen or communicate with once had become your lifeline, the lighthouse in your dark world which lead you back onto shore. This stranger was the same person that stood before you now in the present, Zhongli.

Even after the humiliating breakdown you had in front of him, he had never treated you as someone with an illness, never the excessive and delicate care as if you were glass and would shatter with a touch. You adore it, he had seen you at your lowest, yet he never pitied you. You didn't realized what you were feeling until it was too late. You were already falling into the enchanting void known as "Zhongli", and it was endless. All you hope is that at the end, there would be someone to catch you.

-----------

The soft caress left on your skin reminded you of the unavoidable truth. one which you turned a blind eye to for a very long time. While his eyes possess compassion, warmth which make you feel adored, you were drunk on the wonderous feeling that lit your world up. You failed to notice within those eyes, they do not possess love.

#zhongli #zhongli x reader #reader insert #unrequited love #genshin impact #gender neutral reader #angst #suicidal thoughts #suicidal attempts #trigger warnings #one sided pining