im-nothing-and-n0body

[im-nothing-and-n0body]

Girl, Interrupted

#mentally fucked #mental illness #girl interrupted #book quotes #actually mentally ill #mentally unstable #bpd

[im-nothing-and-n0body]

Anyone else freak the fuck out at night? Like not only does my anxiety go way up but I also physically feel worse and I’m so tired of it. why can’t I just lay down and fall asleep why do I need three mental breakdowns before I can finally pass out?

#mentally fucked #mental illness #venting #personal vent

[im-nothing-and-n0body]

The “if I can’t be happy I might as well be the most mentally unbalanced girl in the world” cycle I go through at least once a week

#mentally fucked #mental illness #tw depressing stuff #self mutalition #self destruction #personal vent #vent tag #self h@rm #sorry for being depressing #i’m miserable #depressing memes #quiet bpd #bpd thoughts

[im-nothing-and-n0body]

(Tw ed topics: ana recovery, arfid)

You know what’s so fucking stupid? I genuinely had an easier time eating when I was anorxic. I’ve been recovered for months now but my arfid is consistently getting worse than it’s ever been in my entire life. There’s like no foods I actually want to eat and maybe ten I can tolerate when needed. It just feels so stupid like I tried so hard to recover and it feels like it was fucking pointless

#tw ed vent #actually arfid #arfid #arfid struggles #arfid problems #tw ed in the tags #mentally fucked

[im-nothing-and-n0body]

[im-nothing-and-n0body]

Social anxiety is so dumb my brain will be like:

“ah yes today is the day we will be interacting with one of our friends. We will be doing a nice happy activity and we have been looking forward to this. I feel like I’m dying, I can no longer breathe”

#mentally fucked #social anxiety #mental illness #anxious #lol idk #personal vent

[im-nothing-and-n0body]

I doubt this is relatable but anyway, growing up my immediate family have always had horrible health. Mostly my sister but really my whole family has shit health. I always considered myself the one with the bad mental health but fine otherwise. But anyway, every time I have important plans I’m always like “I really hope I don’t have mysterious pain that day that makes it really hard for me to stand and walk”. Thaaaat is not normal. Why didn’t anyone tell me healthy people don’t worry about that?

[im-nothing-and-n0body]

I think people can accept my symptoms as long as they have some rational or relatable aspect. I have contamination ocd and people can accept certain aspects of that easily cause “of course no one likes being sick. Being clean and cautious is good”. But then I mention my ever growing fear of strawberries and people don’t like that too much.

My sister was gonna wear a sweater with a strawberry print and I was like “uhhh no don’t wear that” and she was like “they’re not real strawberries?” And was not happy with me. And I usually try really hard to not bring people into my weirdness but it’s been rough so yeah

#mentally fucked #mental illness #contamination ocd #tw ocd #personal vent

[im-nothing-and-n0body]

I wish I had more people who understood me honestly

#personal vent #mentally fucked #mental illness #tw depressing stuff #sorry for being depressing

[im-nothing-and-n0body]

You know I actually was really happy today. And now I feel like shit and like everybody hates me and pretty much nothing happened really. This is stupid why do the stupidest things make me fucking miserable

[im-nothing-and-n0body]

Last summer I briefly talked to someone online. We only talked for a couple weeks and that was it. I was trying to send a picture to my sister and I accidentally sent it to them. This is the fucking picture:

I’d be mortified if this weren’t the funniest thing I’ve ever done

#i’m embarrassed #oh my god #i’m an idiot #embarrassing #i think im funny

[im-nothing-and-n0body]

I’m actually so convinced I’m being flirted with and I need to say that to the tumblr void cause I have no one else to talk to at the moment but holy shit? I don’t know what to do? I feel like I’m not reciprocating properly but I still don’t know if this is just typical them or not

#rambles #personal diary

[im-nothing-and-n0body]

The sequel to my last post: am I going on a date? Or a totally platonic hangout? Cause I’m picking up romantic undertones but someone could literally kiss me on the lips and I’d still wonder if they were attracted to me or not

[im-nothing-and-n0body]

Dude how the fuck am I supposed to tell if someone’s flirting with me or not? I feel like I’m being flirted with but maybe I’m misunderstanding normal friendship

#nuerodivergent #friendship #i’m stupid #random

[im-nothing-and-n0body]

Keep the flame going for those we have lost to suicide. 

[im-nothing-and-n0body]

Does anyone else feel like being disordered is some sort of a club? Like I’m not saying having a community is bad but I’ve been recovering (quite well) for months now and recently I’ve started feeling triggered and it’s not that I’m unhappy with my body or anything I literally just miss feeling like I was a part of something.

And I feel like there’s a very specific atmosphere in like disordered communities that I’ve never felt anywhere else. Is that just me?

#tw ed in the tags #tw ed vent #ed related #ana recovery #ed recovery

[im-nothing-and-n0body]

Like a year ago I bought the bell jar by Sylvia Plath then like a week later I found out my school was giving away a free copy so naturally I took that one too and then lent it to my ex who I was still dating at the time. I’m now realizing I never got that book back and I think he thought it was a gift or something. I’d feel dumb texting him about it now but he technically follows me here still probably so if you see this it would be so sick if you gave that back lol the cover on that book is my favourite