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odin is like “when thor was born the sun shone bright upon his beautiful face. i found loki on the sidewalk outside a taco bell”

#norse mythology #shitpost #funny #impressive

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Low resolution Batfam

#batfamily #DC #batdad #canon #the skrunkies

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The only thing you need to know about Tim becoming Robin is that he's the protagonist of a horse girl movie and Batman is the horse.

#tim drake #DC #funny #tw horse #batdad

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The only thing you need to know about Tim becoming Robin is that he's the protagonist of a horse girl movie and Batman is the horse.

#i know what these tags are referencing and i appreciate you #does that mean that Dick becoming robin was also a horse girl movie but batman was the horsegirl? #DC #funny #batdad

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Bruce looks so...

I bet Bruce and Talia dress up as Gomez and Morticia Addams and then make itty bitty baby Damian dress up as baby Pubert from the Addams Family sequel.

#DC #batdad #baby damian wayne #brutalia #Talia al Ghul #Bruce Wayne #Damian Wayne

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Quote from Scrubs

#its damians pet manatee #dc #manatee #funny

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*immediately stops crying* really? 🥺

Hey don't cry. Batman's cape gets longer to swaddle his adult kids

#dc #batdad #text post #wholesome

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This episode of Bluey is called...

#original post #all tomorrows #bluey #cm kosemen #killer folk #lopsider #saurosapient #pterosapien

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Snake person couple (redraw)

I was a bit lazy with this one, but I still like it!

#art #sci fi #all tomorrows #spec evo #snake people #snouple #love #here it is! #cm kosemen #shhh they're snesbians #snake person

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Some goon: *hurts red hood in a fight*

Batman, swooping in: you monster. You should know better than to hurt a child in my city.

Goon: uhh that’s a fully grown man?

Batman: A child. A baby boy. Thats… somebody’s son. Probably.

Jason: oh my god dad you’re so fucking embarrassing

#dc #batdad #i want that fic #incorrect quotes

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Bruce Wayne, sitting in a cute eco-friendly cafe while on a video call with Tim: Oh Noooo, are you sure there’s no way the board of directors will let us get rid of this old decrepit Wayne Factory building that is unsafe for our workers and also for the surrounding environment?

CEO Tim, with equal gravitas: No, I’m afraid they just won’t budge. It technically meets legal requirements on paper, and we can’t prove that the chemicals affecting the local ecosystem that have no other possible source are from the out-of-date drainage system… they’re saying it would cost too much to fix the place up too, which is ridiculous, because we’re us, but our hands are tied…

Bruce, full Brucie himbo mode: Oh I just feel so SAD for all the sweet fluffy animals and the pretty flowers and especially our hard workers dealing with such unsafe conditions… I think I’ll give them all a nice short vacation this weekend, so the ENTIRE PLACE will be EMPTY and SHUT DOWN from FRIDAY TO TUESDAY, the SECURITY SYSTEM WILL BE DOWN because it’s just so GLITCHY, I’m sure nothing will happen to the ENVIRONMENTAL STAIN ON OUR COMPANIES NAME THAT WILL BE COMPLETELY ABANDONED FROM FRIDAY TO TUESDAY- Timmy do you think I’m being too subtle?

Tim, snickering: no no you’re doing great Bruce I’m sure they’ve got it

Poison Ivy, on a date the next table over: ( ‘-‘)-☕️

Harley, through tears of repressed laughter: so… we doing anythin’ this weekend?

#dc #bruce wayne #harlivy #incorrect quotes #wayne enterprises

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#wfa #timbern #timber #DC

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i think the only option for Jacks reaction for Tim and Bernard dating during highschool is to be homophobic because it does make a lot of sense for his character (cough and who spent most time writing him cough) but I do think there’s two ways to getting slightly around it so it’s not so hard on Tim

Jack is far for happy but is trying very hard to both show he’s a better dad than Bruce and prove to Dana that he can be supportive of Tim, if he can accept this then it’s going to be a lot easier on both of them because they’re finally having a father son relationship now that Tim’s not out as robin and Jack is finally paying attention for more than five minutes

Jack is so distracted by Tim dating the most annoying guy he knows he doesn’t realize that Tim’s dating the most annoying guy he knows until it’s too late to get mad about it, accidental ally, doesn’t hit him until he suggests Tim dates one of his other guy friends instead

#timbern #timber #DC

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Tim, holding up a picture with multiple celebrities in: do you recognize anyone in this?

Bernard: umm…oh yeah that guy’s Tony Hawke, I remember from your old posters

Tim:…cool

…

Tim: I’m gonna marry him Dick

Dick: because he recognized Tony Hawke?

Tim: he wasn’t even holding a skateboard in the picture!

#timbern #timber #DC #tony hawk

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i think my favorite thing about tim and bernard is just how in love tim is with bear. usually in civilian x hero relationships the civilian is always way more in love with the hero than vice versa. but with tim and bernard, tim is sooo fuckin gone for bear, it almost stops being cute and borders on lame. pathetic even.

#timbern #timber #DC

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#timbern #timber #DC #bernard dowd #fanart

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Au where the Drake’s don’t die (they’re just bad parents) and as Tim gets older they start spending a SLIGHT bit more time with him to train him to take over Drake industries. They start trying to set up a marriage to a daughter of a good family for Tim, but he’s dating Bernard, who is not only a man but from a “subpar family.” They demand he break it off.

Tim refuses to break up with his boyfriend, threatens causing a huge scandal and making out with Bernard in public if they engage him to anyone.

Jack and Janet threaten to disown him, bc they think Tim’s been living the soft cushy house (manor) life hidden away from the world on thier money this whole time, so they’re all, “You’ll come crawling back, you need us and our money, this will teach you a lesson.”

Tim, who has been practically independent since he was four, has extensive robin training, access to zetatubes, powerful friends (and enemies) in every major city across the world, at least eight fully stocked safehouses in Upper Gotham alone, a personal bank account under his own name with combined Drake and Wayne allowance, at this point is only in Drake manor when his parents are here (a week with an important gala every four months maybe) and has LITERALLY had a discussion with Bruce about a custody battle due to negligence so he can call himself a Wayne on paper not even a week before, just laughs.

“This is Gotham. I’ll get Bruce Wayne to adopt me.”

That makes them mad. His parents show him the disowning paperwork and kick him out. Tim doesn’t even run to Wayne Manor, he meanders over while tapping at his phone.

Bruce already had the paperwork ready. The Drakes don’t know what’s happening before it’s too late. Tim is a Wayne. They try to challenge it but they relinquished all rights and Tim has receipts of parental neglect and also he already has a room at the manor.

Tim takes over as Wayne Industries CEO (the sooner the funnier) and immediately starts being awesome at it, smug ass grin in every photo, the other Waynes cackling in the background as the Drakes seethe and thier stocks plummet. The next gala they go to, Bruce makes absolutely sure to turn to Tim and go, “So son, when is your boyfriend coming over for dinner?”

Bernard comes back from a family camping trip to find out his boyfriend started an upper crust civil war for the right to date him. And also he’s invited to Wayne Manor. Wtf Tim.

#dc #timbern #timber #long post #text post