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footnotesaregreat · 2 months

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Hua Cheng's Simp Diaries 101

*a list of his simp moments bc you've never seen a man so deeply in love*

1. found and kept xie lian's earring from the first time they met when he was 10

2. plays with it a lot

3. kept the umbrella xie lian gave him when it was raining at his shrine

4. only ate from the offerings at the shrine when he was certain it was xie lian himself who told him to

5. was one of the few people who didn't kneel to pray to xie lian bc it was what he asked

6. he brought fresh flowers to the shrine everyday for xie lian's statue to hold

7. he tied the red string of fate on the finger xie lian had tied his own hair around to protect him in the cave

8. he turned his ashes into a ring which he gave to xie lian

9. told him it was nothing important

10. made him his reason to live because xie lian told him to

11. he built thousands of statues and shrines for xie lian

12. he challenged the 33 gods that ridiculed xie lian beat them in battle and burned down their temples *girlboss*

13. he's been drawing xie lian's picture from when he was a child from the first day that he saved him

14. made a big ass door for the shrine so it'd be better protected

15. when xie lian was blown away by the sandstorm at ban yue pass and accidentally grabbed onto him he only said: gege there you are don't fly away again

16. literally sucked venom out of xie lian's hand and then proceeded to explode the snake that stung him

17. made sure to give xie lian the ferns that did not grow with humans as fertiliser to heal his hand bc he knew he would feel bad about that

18. killed hundreds of ghosts at ban yue pass in seconds before xie lian came down there

19. protected him from the snakes leaving mu qing alone to fight them

20. taught xie lian how to play dice just to hold his hands bc the motherfucker definitely just changed the dice himself

21. he gave xie lian dice that would always bring him to xie lian as long as he wanted to see him

22. when he fought with qianqiu and accidently hurt xie lian he felt so bad

23. eming was crying actual tears

24. he came into the heavenly capital to take xie lian away immediately bc he rolled the dice he gave him and he wanted to see him

25. once he saw how much qianqiu didn’t know about the gilded banquet he took them to qi rong's lair and forced him to tell the whole story so there would be no misunderstandings

26. he built a literal temple in the ghost city for xie lian specifically for the mid autumn festival so he could "make things interesting" for xie lian's "amusement"

27. he lit up 3000 blessings lanterns for xie lian from the temple he made in the ghost city

28. spent billions in gold to get the lanterns

29. *twice*

30. he captured the fetus ghost before xie lian bc he couldn’t let him hurt himself and to do so kissed him in the pretence that they shouldn't have their mouths open

31. brought xie lian back to paradise manor and instantly made him feel so comfortable that he actually let his pain show while removing the needle he'd stepped on

32. he went to puqi village to bring xie lian’s hat back bc he mentioned it while rambling after their first kiss

33. he cleaned puqi shrine and took qi rong out of the house along with the rest of the trash

34. when he saw he xuan come in with qingxuan he threatened him bc he didn't want xie lian involved with the whole thing with he xuan and the wind and water masters

35. got his people to watch over qi rong and lowkey lang ying and guzi and also probably to look after the shrine while they would be away with qingxuan and he xuan

36. when xie lian FINALLY asked for his private communication array password his eyes legit twinkled

37. he purposefully set his password to sth very much embarrassing so that no one but xie lian would dare reach him

38. the only time xie lian actually used it himself was when he was legit imprisoned by jun wu

39. he actually found xie lian's password funny and the poor thing got the validation he wanted for his joke after 800 years of having this password

40. he constantly changed outfits to watch xie lian struggle to keep his eyes off him

41. while qingxuan was in xie lian’s body he wouldn’t hurt him so he punched he xuan into the ground to release his frustration

42. totally sailed across black water's domain with xie lian's dead body in a coffin

43. the worst suffering for him is watching his beloved get trampled and ridiculed which he experienced when xie lian descended and the people turned against him

44. also watched him get stabbed a hundred times

45. and saw him drunk in a graveyard crying and breaking down

46. he thought he hadn't won xie lian over yet but he had even though xie lian himself hadn't realised it yet

47. he made a new donation box for xie lian while shirtless and sweating even though he's a literal ghost and doesn't sweat

48. he pretended to be unconscious even though as mentioned he's a literal ghost just so he could have a laugh and totally freaked out when xie lian attempted to perform cpr *on a literal ghost*

49. proposed to xie lian and for some reason said he was kidding

50. he’d already given xie lian his ring and wore the string of fate (smooth bro)

51. built a coffin to safely cross the sea with xie lian and successfully caused him a boner (erectile dysfunction cured great success)

52. went along with xie lian to the east sea to protect him from black water but still didn't interfere with his choices

53. when xie lian did the soul switch he sucked his power from his body so that he could bring xie lian's soul back and again freaked out when xie lian kissed him to get the powers back

54. he only practices writing with a specific poem that specifically describes the specific feelings he has for xie lian

55. when he lost control of himself he *intensely* kissed xie lian and afterwards he was so worried that he had hurt him

56. he turned into lang ying even though xie lian told him to not be with eachother for now since they would both be busy

57. even though he was with him he sent the litter to carry them

58. had yin yu gather all the ghosts and the clothes while searching for the brocade immortal so that xie lian could work faster

59. he tattooed xie lian's name on his arm but his handwriting is so awful even xie lian himself couldn't tell what was written for the longest time

60. he ignored xie lian telling him to not do all the chores and did them for him while maintaining lang ying's form

61. he refused to change even when it was clear that xie lian had figured it out and was struggling to write whatever he’d asked him

62. he tried to make himself look good when xie lian asked him who is the prettiest, strongest etcetc

63. he was definitely crying tears of joy whenever xie lian picked him up and told him who cute he was

64. he shared his ✨feelings✨ about looking weaker than he is and feeling powerless

65. did not want xie lian to have to protect him but still listened to him and accepted the help

66. went with xie lian to mount tong'lu to protect him and make sure no one messed up with him

67. he told xie lian anything he wanted to know about whatever they encountered at mount tong'lu

68. he changed the bloody rain to red flower petals so he wouldn’t get xie lian wet

69. he brought him under his umbrella and shielded him from the boulders refusing to help anyone else

70. he tied THE FUCKING RED STRING OF FATE to xie lian's finger to make sure the two would always find their way back to each other

71. he quoted a line from the oldest known chinese novella literally meaning "not even death can do us part"

72. he showed xie lian what happened between yin yu and qi ying so he could better understand their situation

73. he was very ok to just hang around inside the mountain and told xie lian that if it was with him he wouldn't mind staying there

74. he heard and comforted xie lian's worries about his guoshi and told him exactly what he needed to hear

75. it later helped xie lian remain calmer when the identity of white no-face was about to be revealed

76. when the rest of their group where being loud he told them to shut the fuck up bc xie lian was sleeping

77. when pei ming was being a little shit and commented on the red string tied on their fingers he covered it with an illusion

78. then he showed it to xie lian who was worried that it was gone completely

79. he said to xie lian: "i know you can’t die, and you’re not afraid to die, but no matter how tough you are, don��t think yourself incapable of getting hurt.”

80. and: “not dying doesn’t mean not getting hurt, and it definitely doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt. when you see something strange and dangerous, don’t just touch it. find me. let me take care of it.”

81. when xie lian replied with: “...you too. if there’s something dangerous, you don’t touch, i won’t touch either, alright?” he was downright giddy, giggling, eyes twinkling, hair twirling

82. he built tens of thousands of statues and painted all of his encounters with xie lian throughout the years

83. he also sculpted the two of them boning (my guy was so sexually deprived)

84. he was so so scared when they ended up in the cave bc he didn't want to make xie lian uncomfortable in any way

85. he never wanted to make any kind of move that would frighten xie lian

86. he healed xie lian's frostbite wounds that even xie lian himself hadn't noticed

87. honestly can't separate the moments at this point the man is a ball of affection

88. when xie lian hugged him and showed him that his feelings were reciprocated he said: "your highness, you really will be the death of me." BRO IS LEGIT LIVING IN A SAKUATSU FIC WHAT THE FUCK

89. his eyes would not stop twinkling the whole time xie lian held his hand

90. he was in such a good mood that he didn't even say anything *extremely* insulting to mu qing and feng xin

91. he is just a little bby

92. he loves xie lian so much

93. when xie lian asked him about his ashes he once again said that they were absolutely safe and if the place he kept them was destroyed he wouldn't want to continue existing anyway

94. he basically turned into a ghost for the sole purpose of protecting xie lian and being with him

95. he twirls his little braid and fidgets with the coral pearl from xie lian's earring

96. he KISSED xie lian before they jumped into the kiln and this time without any false pretence of "transferring powers” or performing cpr" *once again on a literal ghost*

97. his spirit stayed in the mortal realm after dying in battle for xie lian and when he saw him told him once again that he will never forget him

98. also referred to xie lian as his beloved

99. also said that he wanted to protect him

100. and that he is his most devoted believer

101. and if his beloved felt bad that he stayed to protect them he would just not tell them

102. very slay of him

103. he was still so young there i-

104. they are the death of me

105. in the form of a literal ball of ghost fire he followed xie lian and did his best to warm him up and protect him even though he couldn't do that in that form

106. when white no-face held him and forced him to stay still while people stabbed xie lian a hundred times he couldn't take it and transformed into a vengeful spirit

107. he found xie lian in yong’an and offered to fight for him again as wu ming

108. while in yong'an he protected xie lian multiple times

109. the best and most beautiful statue of xie lian he built was inside the kiln and ended up being the one that broke xie lian out thanks to the powers he’d transferred to him

110. he continues to give xie lian spiritual powers by sticking his tongue down his throat and xie lian is going for it ofc

111. sent out his people to find the humans xie lian needed for the spiritual array

112. immediately noticed someone extra joined the array and told xie lian to check it out

113. when xie lian had to go to the heavenly capital with jun wu and his guoshi he asked him for a kiss bc staying back to take care of the spirits and the people in the array was just so hard to do without

🎐🍒🔥✨gege✨🔥🍒🎐 at his side

114. when xie lian connected with him through the spiritual communication array he instantly knew sth was wrong bc xie lian would never say his password unless it was an emergency

115. he gave qingxuan spiritual powers to have a way to connect with xie lian and sent help immediately

116. came to the heavenly capital despite knowing that jun wu would find him

117. talked with xie lian's guoshi and even spoke respectfully to him *mostly*

118. he sent he xuan to the array to give qingxuan his fan and transfer powers maybe bc xie lian cares for him or maybe bc he tolerates qingxuan *guess we’ll never know*

119. let's be honest from this point on, even more than the rest, every moment should be added

120. the man is a ball of love

121. he quoted himself while he was evaporating into butterflies because he's just such a poet and a romantic

122. he dies 3 times for xie lian

123. three

124. separate

125. times

126. he came back on the same day they first met

127. he lit another 3000 blessing lanterns for xie lian

128. "they spent eight hundred years running towards each other. this time, it only took an instant to fall into each other’s embrace."

129. he turned puqi shrine into a gay monument to xie lian

130. he left an essence of evil inside xie lian *successfuly caused mu qing and feng xin strokes*

131. he asks xie lian to call him 🧧🥟🗡️✨san lang✨🗡️🥟🧧 bc it means husband so xie lian has been calling him his husband all along

132. he got spoiled by xie lian and tried to bone every chance he got *fair*

133. when someone goes to pray to either one of them, for the prayers to be successful they must pray to both of them *together*

134. treated xie lian to yuanxiao and he finally remembered how it tasted after 800 years

135. he was definitely shaking from happiness when the answers to the riddles from the ghosts wrote "my husband is hua cheng" *even though the ghosts didn't know grammar*

136. when xie lian temporarily lost his memories he followed him everywhere to keep an eye on him

137. it's implied that mu qing and feng xin found him to tell him the situation with xie lian and then he went to find him so maybe he trusts them more now

138. he immediately sent yin yu to capture the creature that ate xie lian's memories

139. he loved every second of making fun of him

140. he made xie lian call him 🧧🥟🗡️✨gege✨🗡️🥟🧧

141. you bet his eye was twinkling the whole time

142. eming is used to taking baths with xie lian but when he went to him while he didn't have his memories hua cheng slapped it *save eming*

143. when he got sick he didn't want xie lian to have to take care of him but they talked about it and agreed to let the other take care of them whenever they needed it

144. when the whole fiasco with xie lian’s statues happened they made statues of hua cheng to keep them company

145. he has given up on learning calligraphy since he can just turn xie lian on and he forgets about everything

146. no one is doing it like them

147. hua cheng is insane for all of this

148. and very valid bc xie lian is gorgeous

if anyone made it here here's some tgcf playlists i'm quite proud of

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footnotesaregreat · 4 months

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we saw you across the bar and we really dig your vibe…

#i need to eat them

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footnotesaregreat · 4 months

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This brain is filled with cake and icing.

These eyes see stars and planets,

and planets that failed to become stars.

This brain, turned amber and sticky with sugar,

can't yet fathom the roaring reality unravelling,

wrapping around everyone like burned caramel,

uncontrollably boiling over the stove.

These eyes that see entire galaxies,

and nebulas like sharks and dragons

hover through the world, not quite touching it;

what if it shudders and crumbles once more beneath their weight?

What can be created from burned sugar and broken pastries?

The brain that was once told it did not need fantasy,

is slowly climbing on stairs made from stardust and meteorites,

looking at a world held together

by chocolate and caramel filling in the cracks.

#aria writes #i wrote something #poems on tumblr #poetry #poets on tumblr #actually autistic #pastries #astrophotography #derealization #autism #fantasy

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footnotesaregreat · 5 months

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part 2

whenever roach is there, he loves to help out in the tavern’s kitchen & the entire town gathers to eat his food every time, without fail

jim, archie & zheng sometimes sail with ann & mary, because who doesn’t need a break from overly emotional men? [affectionate]

wee john & frenchie go on ‘roomate dates’ platonically holding hands & cuddling

after a couple more years iz, ann, mary & jackie decide to retire as well & they all use the treasures they’ve acquired over the years to build houses close to stede & ed’s

izzy is the one exception since he decides to permanently stay at the inn with ed & stede (although now each of them has a separate space for whenever they need it)

they all go on trips a few times a year, usually to barbados to meet with mary, alma, louis & doug

more often than not they will sail them back to their inn & they’ll spend some relaxing days in the country

alma & louis love ed & izzy & along with stede they play censored versions of their pirating adventures, although alma prefers the uncensored stories

mary & doug spend some alone time drawing & they’ll usually leave some paintings for stede & ed to hang around the inn or the tavern

louis has dubbed ed ‘pop-pop ed’ which never fails to send ed into hysterical laughter

their favourite though (to no one’s shock) is izzy & every time he makes wooden toys for them to take home

stede actually melts whenever he sees iz carving the toys

during the next few years more crew members have retired & have decided to stay in the same town as stede & ed, building their homes from the ground up

everyone was constantly getting extremely emotional because they never had a permanent home with people they love around them

they live as shown: jim, archie, olu & zheng, lucius & pete, auntie, jackie & swede (auntie is on a different floor), wee john, frenchie, roach & fang

no matter what they all do during the day, every night they gather at the tavern to have dinner as a family

archie, jim & zheng often train together (olu loses it every time)

auntie & zheng have gotten closer & are learning to be softer with each other

wee john opens up a little clothes shop, handmade items only of course

every last one of the townspeople has fallen in love with roach & swede now that they regularly cook & bartend at the tavern

another worthy addition to their tavern is frenchie’s music, he is there often, playing the lute & singing

jackie has gone back to what once was the republic of pirates & has slowly started to restore it to its former glory

the crew went there often to help the rebuilding & now they are totally the local celebrities

jackie, not only reopened her bar at the RoP, but another one next to stede & ed’s inn

jim visits their nana regularly at St. Augustine’s & have talked through a lot of ‘lingering issues’

they’ve also brought archie to meet her & they get along immediately (it consists of a LOT of dark humour)

stede & roach bond in the kitchen, trying to make the best ever orange glazed cake

ed, izzy & fang are the designated taste-testers & they are living their best lives

on saturday nights wee john, izzy, jim, archie & zheng will do drag shows, sing, dance & present new clothes (available by order only from ‘The Firestarter’)

stede goes on walks every morning & always brings back flowers for the inn & ed

ed decorates the reception & the ones he keeps for himself, he presses & either hangs them around their room or he makes scrapbooks

lucius has started teaching the crew how to read & write (they were pestering him for months on end & he succumbed)

frenchie & fang discover that they have a talent for calligraphy, so they generously offer to write the menus for the tavern & the bar & also the signs for wee john’s, ann & mary’s & the inn

stede is extremely proud of them

the wedding ceremony for stede & ed was held on the top of a hill in the town attended only by the crew

ofmd headcannons bc i physically can’t stop thinking about these bitches

izzy sings at lucius and pete’s ceremony probably fly me to the moon or killing me softly (written by laszlo cravensworth & later plagiarized)

at the party that follows they all gather up singing shanties, ed & izzy whispering the lyrics to stede, who is still getting the hang of pirate music

stede & ed are supporting izzy’s back, that is still healing, despite his protests

they are also holding hands (ed-stede, stede-izzy)

jim, archie, olu & zheng are sitting suspiciously close

auntie & jackie instantly become besties

wee john, frenchie, roach & the swede are playing some intricate card game but wee john keeps losing deliberately to go back to his knitting

he’s making sweaters for all of them because Winter Is Coming & none of them have warm clothes

when a seagull lands on deck & refuses to stop pinching ed everyone knows who it is

he stays with them for about a week at a time & always comes back

they made a little nest in the sleeping quarters for him right next to roach & the swede

ed has permanently moved into stede’s room & they’ve made a new bed to fit three people for the nights iz wants some company

they also have room with the rest of the crew for the nights when they prefer to sleep alone.

ed & fang go fishing almost everyday & after a couple weeks they don’t need to speak & just sit in comfortable silence

stede keeps training with iz, taking turns fighting zheng & jim

when ed returns one day with fang & sees stede beating all three of them he wants to fight him more than ever. their duel goes on for a long time, the bets placed by the crew reaching extreme heights. in the end stede knocks him down & disarms him. everyone, especially pete, lose their fucking minds

at night stede still reads them stories, sometimes new from recent books he’s gotten, but usually the now familiar fairy tales calm them down the most

sometimes stede, ed, iz, jim, archie, olu, zheng, lucius & pete go on date nights where they try different food, listen to music, sharing sweets

frenchie, wee john, fang & roach can often be seen sticking together, not really seeking any romantic or sexual relationship, but simply wanting companionship

when izzy’s unicorn hoof finally gives out he is absolutely heartbroken so of course the entire crew go out to find him the most durable materials to make him another one

they give it to him the next day & it’s decorated by stede, lucius & surprisingly zheng

wee john has also knitted him a leg warmer for whenever he needs a break from the prosthetic

iz obviously loses his shit when he sees it & totally doesn’t call them twats

then they all proceed to fall on top of him to engulf him in an annoyingly wet hug, ed & stede sneaking two kisses on his cheeks

they often have themed parties to make use of stede’s unending secret wardrobe

wee john, iz & jim rule these parties being the best drag queens & king

after a couple years they dock on a small, peaceful town. everyone immediately loves it there & that’s when stede & ed decide to retire

they use ed’s treasure to buy a large building & the whole crew work together to turn it into an inn

they officially open ‘The Gentle Unicorn Inn’ (ed chose the name)

they also have a little tavern right next to it called ‘Jeff’s’ (they have a lot of fun whenever someone asks ‘who’s jeff?’)

ann & mary regularly pop by & drop off some antiques ann’s looted, for stede to either keep or even sell

every couple of months or so the crew visit for a few days & all of them have designated rooms in the inn

sometimes ed & stede close for a week or so to go on a little trip on the ‘revenge’ with the crew

izzy will go & stay with them more often than the rest of them & even though he doesn’t have his own room he has no problem staying at stede & ed’s

he always sleeps in the middle of their bed

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