dysfunctional-amateur-writer

[dysfunctional-amateur-writer]

Reblog for a larger sample size ❤

#greek mythology #dionysus #apollo #ares #pjo #dionysus forever and always #we love a gender ambiguous babe #also who doesn’t like them a little mad but cute? #mythos accurate apollo on the other hand #while smoking hot no doubt #not as nice as dionysus but just as crazy

[dysfunctional-amateur-writer]

Demigod Signatures

My rendition of how I think select demigods would sign (or write) and why.

Percy: I liked the one Rick had in the official books. It makes sense. He has ADHD and dyslexia. Writing in all capitals would be a little easier to read (in my experience, at least) and so Percy having edgy and capitalised handwriting makes sense. 

Annabeth: I feel like she’d have a little cursive. I dunno, she just gives off a more circular and slightly joint kind of writing. And it’s really quick and easy to write. But I feel like her handwriting would be super messy and illegible when she’s designing at night. 

Leo: Come on guys, it’s Leo. He’d love a dramatic signature/handwriting. But his handwriting in his blueprints would be a small, neat scrawl. Whereas his equations (so numbers and symbols) are very messy and often a little wrong because his brain is working faster than his hand and so he many miss a number or a decimal point.

Jason: Neat. Ass. Handwriting. I was in a rush when writing this, but I expect Jason’s handwriting to be look like they were by a 4th grader practicing on stencils and tracing sheets. Alternatively, my other headcanon was if Jason have shit handwriting. Like, go write with your opposite hand, and that’s what Jason’s handwriting looks like

Frank: I dunno. This is probably the closest to my natural handwriting. I feel like Frank would be the type to tilt the other way, but then tried to correct it later to be more straight. And I feel like he’s the type to put a line across his 7s and Zs.

Piper: Headcanon that Piper and Tristan signs “McLean” the exact same way and the two have similar handwriting. Piper feels like a open “p” person. 

Hazel: Slightly fancier capital letters. But I tried to keep it resembling a Palmer Method Script. You know, those nice looking handwriting. Penmanship was valued back in the 30s, and I feel like Hazel would put in effort to make her handwriting look as ‘normal’ as possible.

Nico: Bitch had a diplomat as a Grandfather, and grew up in 30s Italy. If he doesn’t have beautiful handwriting I- Anyways. I feel like Bianca was the one who looked over Nico when he was practicing his penmanship. And so Nico writes his A’s like Bianca. 

I wrote these myself, so if anyone wants me to write other character’s signatures/handwriting in the Riordan Verse, feel free to put in an ask and I’ll be very happy to do so.

Have a nice day folks  :)

Here’s a compilation of all the signatures I’ve done so far

#pjo #percy jackson #these signatures will haunt me until the day i die #i was a bored 17yo okay y’all #but the new pjo tv show is so damn good i gotta bring these back #percy jackson tv show

[dysfunctional-amateur-writer]

I've seen increasing buzz around here about Howl's Moving Castle (book). I think you all deserve to know that all of Diana Wynne Jones's books are filled with characters and plots that are absolutely as delightful and unhinged as that one.

Some Actual Plots include:

Dogsbody - The star Sirius is accused of murder and sentenced to exile on Earth in the body of a dog until he finds a magical item called a Zoi. He's adopted by a young Irish girl living with her abusive and neglectful English relatives. He has to balance his desire to find the Zoi with needing to be a Good Dog for the girl who takes care of him. Also the Wild Hunt is there. Hexwood - A girl finds a magical wood behind her house where she meets a wizard who thinks he's a convict of the intergalactic government, a boy created by the man to destroy said government, and a robot found in a junk heap. The magic wood is actually an alternate reality being generated by an AI who has a grudge to settle with the head of said government. The book is about abuse, PTSD, and trauma. The Dark Lord of Derkholm - Magical world is being destroyed by a company using it as an isekai amusement park for people from another dimension. Bio-wizard is appointed Dark Lord for the year, and he and his family (four of whom are bioengineered griffins) have to find a way to survive the season while everything is going wrong. Deep Secret - Interdimensional detective/diplomat/wizard needs to find a replacement for his deceased mentor. He does so at a fantasy convention, while trying to keep an interdimensional empire from collapsing into civil war after the emperor is assassinated along with all of his heirs.

She's an absolute master at weaving fantasy elements into the mundane world and writing from the PoV of kids. Her books are funny, clever, and full of delightful characters. I'm begging you all to check them out.

#diana wynne jones #howls moving castle #fantasy #book recommendations

[dysfunctional-amateur-writer]

Katniss is like Lucy Gray this, Katniss is like Sejanus that, and yes find that's all good and true and lovely but Katniss Everdeen is also a direct parallel to Coriolanus Snow and people NEED to start talking about this because it's driving me crazy.

Think about it: they both grew up poor and deeply vulnerable, losing parents at a very young age, with a matriarchal adult (Katniss' mother and Coriolanus' Grandma'am) who fails to provide for them emotionally and physically. They intimately understand the threat of starvation, even developing with stunted growth because of it, and their narrations in the books share a fixation on food. Throughout their childhoods, both experienced constant fear and suffered a fundamental lack of control over their circumstances. Because of this, they're inherently suspicious of the people around them. They resent feeling indebted to others, especially those who have saved their lives. They're motivated almost entirely by family and deeply connected to their communities. Both are used and manipulated by the Capitol, both are forced to perform to survive and despise every inch of it, both are thrown into the Arena and made to kill. Both have a self-sacrificial, genuinely sweet sister figure acting as their conscience. Peeta and Lucy Gray - performers and love interests with a fundamental kindness and sense of hope about them - fulfill markedly similar roles in their narrative. Both contribute to the development of the future Hunger Games, Snow throughout tbosas and Katniss towards the end of Mockingjay.

It's easy to ignore these similarities because, as mirrors of each other, they are exact opposites. Katniss is from District 12, viewed and treated as less than human; Snow is the cream of the Capitol crop, given the privilege of a name with social weight, an ancestral home, and the opportunity of the Academy despite having no more money than a miner from 12. Katniss has no agency over her life, and responds by being kind whenever she's able, while Snow justifies horrendous evils in order to continue his quest for complete control. Katniss does everything she can to protect her family; Snow does everything he can to protect his family's image as an extension of his own ego. Katniss loves her District and connects with its inhabitants on a meaningful level, but Snow is indifferent at best to his peers - the apparent "superior people" - and only engages with his community for personal gain. Katniss emerges from the Arena horrified at herself and the system, but Snow takes his trauma and turns it into an excuse to perpetuate the violence with himself at the top. Katniss cares for Prim until her death and then snaps at the loss of her little sister, while Snow survives on Tigris' blood, sweat, and tears and then torments and abandons her, presumably because she calls him out on his insanity. Snow actively adds to and popularizes the Hunger Games because of his vendetta against the Districts following his childhood wartime trauma - Katniss briefly agrees to a new Hunger Games in the pursuit of vengeance, but later stops them from happening by killing Coin and choosing a life of peace and privacy. Snow is obsessed with revenge, but Katniss empathizes with the Capitolites and does what she can to keep them from suffering. He exists in a cruel system and selfishly upholds it; she exists in a cruel system and works to dismantle it for the good of her family and community, at great personal cost. And Peeta and Lucy Gray are incredibly similar, but Katniss and Peeta forge a relationship of genuine love and understanding that shines in comparison to Coriolanus' obsessive projection onto Lucy Gray.

So, yeah, Katniss is Lucy Gray haunting Coriolanus. But I bet you anything that eighty-something year old President Snow looks at her, the girl on fire, bright and young and brilliant, emerging from a childhood of starvation with a relentless hunger for success, a talented and charming performer helping her win the Games, and he sees the ghost of his own past. And that's why he's so afraid of her! Because if he sees himself in her, then he's up against his own cunning, his own talent for manipulation, his own charisma, his own genius. He's up against the version of himself that he once wished to be, with the nightmare army of his childhood at her back and her star-crossed lover at her side, spewing Sejanus' truths in his own voice. This isn't to say that Katniss ever achieved the level of power and agency that Coriolanus did during her time with the rebellion, but it is to say that Snow was taken down by what truly terrified him - his own morality, come to finish the job.

#the ballad of songbirds and snakes #katniss everdeen #coriolanus snow #lucy gray baird #peeta mellark #the hunger games #fuck this is good analysis

[dysfunctional-amateur-writer]

HAIBARA?!?!?!

#GIRL WHEN I TELL YOU I CACKLED OUT LOUD #HAD TO PAUSE THE MOVIE #YELLED #HOLY MOTHERFUCKING SHIT #CACKLED MORE #then finally i was able to resume the movie #detective conan #dcmk #miss steal your man AND steal your girl #haibara just wanted them BOTH and she GOT them BOTH #haibara ai

[dysfunctional-amateur-writer]

I want y’all to imagine Nico, after the battle of manhattan, all alone, roaming around and being homeless pretty much. He probably did some stuff to stay alive/ did some stupid stuff cause he was a) young and alone and innocent and b) IN THE WRONG CENTURY

Imagine like Nico revealing the shit he’s done to like the seven (plus Will but I feel like Will would already know)

Nico: yeah so like I learned the “don’t take candy from strangers” the hard way

Percy; what the fuck does that mean

Nico: um so after the battle of manhattan went down and I left, things have changed in society that I didn’t know about. And the fact that I was in a whole different continent didn’t help either. So uh in the 1930s, it was all talk about how the future was going to be great and how everyone’s problems will be solved

Percy: yeah?

Nico: right so uh I’m walking down the New York, being my little depressed self-

Jason: *trying not to laugh*

Nico: -and this guy walks up to me and he said “you look like your having a tough times” and pulls out this baggy with like a pill inside, and says “here this should take all your sorrows away, for a just a few hours and if you need more you just have to find me”

Annabeth: you didn’t-

Nico: looking back at this I should’ve known, but then again how would I have known? No one taught me this shit. And he phrased it like this really cool invention and in my head I’m like oh wow times really has changed

Will: babe you are a idiot and I’m surprised you even still alive

Nico, laughing: me too actually- I should not have lived past a lot of stuff but anyway I took it and thanked him and ummmmm one minute I was in the streets of New York and the next I was in the back of a cop car in Jersey with a headache.

Jason: YOU GOT ARRESTED?

Nico: yup. But legally I don’t exist and I still don’t cause I managed to run away before they could get my DNA or smth idk the process and then went back to New York and tried to find the guy again

Percy: why would you try and find him?

Nico: so I could get more? But either I just have a horrible sense of direction or he vanished cause I couldn’t find him anymore

Jason: the city’s confusing streets saved you from an addiction

Nico: no actually-

Percy, still trying to wrap his head around this: wait so no one warned you about taking drugs?

Nico: I didn’t even know what they were, well that’s kind of a lie I knew that they existed but I didn’t know what they looked like?

Percy: and the baggy didn’t seem suspicious?

Nico: it was a free sample

Percy: I- I don’t even know what to say

Nico: to be fair they treated the common cold with like cocaine back in my day so-

Percy: dude- *turns to Will* you don’t seemed surprised by this

Will, shrugging: wait til you hear about the “friend” he made

Nico, clapping his hands together: that’s a story for another time, hopefully never

Annabeth: I want to know-

Will: you really don’t-

Nico: if you thought this was bad the other was way worse

#nico di angelo #percy jackson #pjo #i love how unhinged this fandom is

[dysfunctional-amateur-writer]

Jason goes blind but he can see the electricity in people's bodies and feel their bodies through the air. He acts easy like he's not blind and it takes a while before anyone can even tell because he's never been one for eye contact anyway. Courtesy of autism and being raised by wolves. He doesn't need a white stick to get around. He can sense obstacles and people through shifts in the air, feel the change in pavement to sidewalk, the open space from the descent of stairs, smell his way to bakeries he likes and art stores with rich paints.

Nico goes blind but he can sense the pulse of someone's soul, the presence of their bones. He uses a white stick to navigate around obstacles. Souls are history, life lived, dreams and goals, worries and fears, active moments. He skims the outer layer to seek out locations he needs. He summons ghosts unseen by mortals to help guide him along in new places. They tell him when to turn down the street, where the doors are, how to get to counters. They warn him if someone shifty has tried to trick him. It's easy enough to skin their souls and check.

Percy goes blind but he can feel the blood in people's veins. It makes him an expert at walking through crowds. All he has to do is step into the empty spaces between the sensations of circulating liquid. He still needs a white stick to get around obstacles, but his familiarity with New York means it's not as hard. He can sense monsters when they approach. Their blood is thicker, denser, more putrid to his gut. He doesn't need Riptide as much. With the sense of blood and liquid holding in his chest, all he has to do is pull and feel them burst. Occasionally, he tell when people are trying to screw him over. Their blood quickens with the risk. Walking through nature isn't as difficult either. Although he still needs his cane for rocks and twigs, there is water in everything that lives so he steps around trees and plants with relative ease.

[dysfunctional-amateur-writer]

ok i just wanna check something.... reblog if you've never watched/opened tumblr live

#i #would #NEVER

[dysfunctional-amateur-writer]

my favorite example of transferable skills in fiction regardless of how realistic it is are people who work with textiles (sewing, tailoring, etc.) being asked to help stitch a wound or perform surgery. oh you can mend a hole in a shirt? mend a hole in this guy then. it's basically the same thing just with more blood and screaming.

#writing prompt #writers of tumblr #writing stuff

[dysfunctional-amateur-writer]

i swear i am not an alcoholic (by certain standards) but i feel buzzy and i am thinking about hattori heiji and kudou shinichi and how similar YET DIFFERENT THEY ARE, and my head is spinning

Kudou “I think 10 steps ahead if I am given enough time” Shinichi who can modulate his emotions to a certain extent, keeping himself relatively well on task when his emotions are at play (very rarely Loses It Completely TM) most of the time, who is horrible at Instant Acting.

Hattori “I am driven by my Emotions and Honest About Them“ Heiji who literally grabs criminals and yells into their faces, who perceives a threat against “His Kazuha” and ready to throw fckin hands (and does), and he can still plan slightly ahead to fool criminals.

#scarlet arc vs the drug trading case fr #dcmk #hattori heiji #kudo shinichi

[dysfunctional-amateur-writer]

around when I first started dating my boyfriend i bought myself this novelty blanket that looks like a photorealistic tortilla because I am SUCH A SUCKER for novelty shit. when he saw it in person for the first time his eyes lit up, which should have been a warning sign for the indignities to come.

so he’s a first responder and his day shifts start obnoxiously early as far as I, a pampered corporate asshole, am concerned. almost invariably when he’s at my place there will be an alarm at an hour that is downright unconscionable that will make him wake up and roll out of bed to get ready and will simultaneously make me burrow under the pillows grumbling about how surely nobody actually NEEDS their lives saved this early in the morning, after which I will promptly attempt to go back to sleep

he is a clever man and he knows this is when i am most vulnerable to attack.

every single time we do this dance, he quietly dresses, packs up, goes about getting ready to leave, and then when i have juuuust fallen back asleep, he returns with the tortilla blanket. He finds it no matter where I have hidden it.

He then creeps silently up to my side of the bed and uses his superior speed, strength, and reflexes to wrap me up in it incredibly tightly while i am still dazed and sputtering, so that i cannot move my legs or arms and am reduced to humiliating halfhearted magikarp flops that do not deter him from at least attempting to kiss my forehead.

then he goes to my bedroom door, opens it, then pauses, turns around, looks at me, the soft human filling of the facsimile of an enormous burrito he has just constructed, and says in his best romantic lead voice “I’ll see you soon, beans.”

you cannot understand how devastating it is to my ego that i am beans.

#i-

[dysfunctional-amateur-writer]

Been sitting on the idea for this silly comic for a good long while and it's waaaay too long to include with the other sketches so heeeeere we go. XD

#i can definitely see this happening in canon #bruh if it doesn’t go down like this after twenty years of waiting #imma sue #dcmk #haibara ai #detective conan #sera masumi #akai shuichi

[dysfunctional-amateur-writer]

“witness protection & VERY BAD AT IT” is pretty spot on tho ngl

betting that takagi or kuroda betted on that one

I love thinking about how Haunted this boy is. I want people around him to notice something’s wrong but come to the most utterly incorrect solutions

Case closed count: episode 368

#dcmk #lupin iii #edogawa conan #tmpd #dc #detective conan

[dysfunctional-amateur-writer]

#iykyk #lgbt

[dysfunctional-amateur-writer]

Hi, the ao3 queen killer here. i hear king Charles just got coronated, It would be a shame If he didn't last long after it...

#honestly it’d be pretty funny if the lupin gang stole the crown jewels #coronation #uk politics #lupin iii

[dysfunctional-amateur-writer]

blame

#my crumbly little heart can’t handle this #haibara ai #furuya rei #dimly #detective conan

[dysfunctional-amateur-writer]

I'm sorry but I must inflict this thought upon you.

Memes are Homeric parallels. "as when the man turns his head from his girlfriend to see a more beautiful girl, so too did swift footed Achilles turn from a long life to an eternal glory."

I'm sorry, I'm so so sorry.

#skskjsjsk #i- #fucking brutal #homer #ancient greek #ancient greece #iliad #classics #achilles #patrochilles