cassemiah

[cassemiah]

She reminds me of the moon beauty strung along her unseen tune the light she inspires reflected to everyone else, herself no wiser peaceful yet bright, doused in starlight because today, tomorrow, and tonight, she reminds me of the moon.

#self reblog #sapphic poem

[cassemiah]

I'm happy and tired and bored and excited but depressed and fulfilled and and and done. I think I'm done.

#self reblog #old style honestly #I had a lot of fun messing around in this way with these short ones

[cassemiah]

You called me a woman now and I died inside, because that meant before you saw me as something else.

#self reblog #tw sa

[cassemiah]

I couldn't call this a crush I don't smile to myself When I think your name It's been months before That I've forgotten you exist. my heart doesn't beat beat beat when I happen to see your face.

All I know is I'm in love, With the idea of someone And you're interesting enough That I want to see If I could make you more Than just, Interesting.

#self reblog #aromantic poetry #poems I realize were about my aromanticism long after I wrote them

[cassemiah]

I think I finally decided I like the way I look I like the shape of my face I like the shade my eyes make When the sun catches my hair I like the red that is there.

I like my nose that could be too small I like giving too much and being my all and when I look in the mirror what I see It's finally nothing more than me.

-"More than Me"

#self reblog

[cassemiah]

I want to know what her lips taste like, I want to know what sounds she'll make that are different than his, I want to finally be the taller one, I want to hold her in my arms, I want to know what she thinks, I want to know how she feels, I think, that despite my every try not to, I want her and not him

-Her not him

#self reblog #sapphic poem

[cassemiah]

You're grieving me but I'm still here you dug the grave you shed your tears and im still here you said it's true your greatest fear but I'm still here you say you want me near please, I'm still here

#self reblog #transgender poetry #lgbtq poetry

[cassemiah]

I just want to exist I just want a place to be I want to use the restroom in peace I would like my existence To not be considered a resistance I just want to exist Why don't I get that too?

#self reblog #transgender #transgender poetry

[cassemiah]

You don't think

you'd like to know who I am

And as a daughter,

I'd have to admit to some pain

But as a person

Who has had to live inside my brain

I think you're probably right,

I don't know why anyone

Would ever like to know what I am.

#self reblog

[cassemiah]

No, I don't think he'd stick a knife in me

But I do think he'd stand back,

Watch me die.

At the end of the day

I'm not sure there's much difference

#self reblog

[cassemiah]

Please god I want everything

I want my name held in your fists

I want to be beside you

I want to be inside you

live between your ribs

god

I want you as a prayer

god

I want everything

Give me something

god

I just want to be able to ask for more

#self reblog #sapphic poem

[cassemiah]

I get so excited to show you

what I've made I forget

to get dressed,

veins laid out bare to you,

skin no longer sewed up tight,

because I felt something

I thought

you might like to feel it too

#self reblog

[cassemiah]

I find I desperately want to be wanted but unfortunately to do so you must also want others as well

-"Lonely by Choices, Mainly Mine"

#self reblog

[cassemiah]

You don't think

you'd like to know who I am

And as a daughter,

I'd have to admit to some pain

But as a person

Who has had to live inside my brain

I think you're probably right,

I don't know why anyone

Would ever like to know what I am.

#self reblog #disfunctional family

[cassemiah]

Sometimes I curse the fact that I ever learned that trauma can be inherited through your genes

past sins and horrors written up in a complex pattern A's, T's, G's, C's slotting together like legos to paint the picture

that I never needed to know. I'm aware I'll never be clean or whole.

Because it makes so much sense that the child would inherit the sins of their father regardless of the fact I have never been touched by his father's sins and his mother's before.

I'm broken and used and cursed and it's written into my very code.

So there's no fixing this because there's no event and there's no traits to rework and reconfigure, no therapy that can undo conception no manifestation that can undo the past.

I was born red handed and unclean and I will die with my father's blood staining my very veins.

I would've preferred I never knew. At least then I could pretend. At least then I might've faked my way into one day feeling whole.

#poetry #spilled poetry #spilled ink #spilled thoughts #poems on tumblr #poets on tumblr #spilled words #spilled emotions #poem

[cassemiah]

I desperately want to bite

I want your blood between my teeth

And your eyes on me

And I could want for nothing more

Than for you to be happy

But I want you to want me

So I'll just sit there pressing,

Words between my teeth

won't bite want you

Won't hurt want me

Won't hurt

please

#self reblog #sapphic #sapphic poem #wlw poem

[cassemiah]

A picture of a purple flower pretty in it's simplicity and unknowingly blunt in it's nostalgic delivery.

Suddenly I wasn't looking at a badly lit computer screen, I was on my knees beside a bright green mailbox plucking the first purple of spring to rush inside to my mom.

I'm going to plant these.

I'm not quite sure yet if I'll have to find bulbs or learn to keep seeds alive long enough they can be left alone.

But I can never get back, that green mailbox and those too short limbs nestled in the muddy grass.

I can plant these.

Pretty purple flowers that show up after the winter just to let me know everything is gonna be alright.

#nostalgia #childhood #lost childhood #poetry #spilled poetry #spilled ink #spilled thoughts #poems on tumblr #poets on tumblr #spilled words #spilled emotions #poem