cantsleephomesick - Tumblr blog

cantsleephomesick · 11 hours

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buried trauma adjacent

I hear

"jest",

I think this hasn't happened in so long -

all you had to do

to lose all my trust

was force me back

to that flickering light,

what slams the brakes,

what always makes it back

a bit louder,

what always repeats.

I am molten,

I am gone -

I hear

and my jaw hurts.

this hasn't happened in so long.

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cantsleephomesick · 20 hours

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cigarettes between your fingers

you let it come close enough to kill you

like you would not mind

i cannot sit here and watch you die

we tend to care about others than ourselves

i guess we are in the same boat

that is probably why

promise me that you will be out there

promise me you will not die

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cantsleephomesick · 2 days

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i wish i was better than this

and that is didnt hold a grudge against you

i wish i could let it slide

and forget everything happened

but you hurt me

you hurt me when i needed you

you said you were going to be there

so why are you taking ten steps back

every time i tell you theres something wrong

you said you would wipe my tears

so why on earth do i see my own hands wiping my tears

whats your generic explanation for this now

this is not surface level

and deep down you know it

but you cant be fucking bothered

to show it

so i wish i was better than this

i god damn wish i was better than this

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cantsleephomesick · 3 days

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your hand in mine

i trace circles around your thigh

the cold breeze

i never want to let go

it feels delightful

to be held by you

it feels delightful

to be around you

even if it doesnt work

always know

i will love you

at arms length

thats probably for the best

i will love you

with every string of my guitar

and i will love you

with every last cigar

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cantsleephomesick · 3 days

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order my book <3

Hello lovelies its M here!

the day has come that i can say this! during my break, myself and my mini team have been working on my debut poetry book Heartbreak and Sleepless Nights! you can finally purchase a hard copy of my work!

i'd like to thank everyone on here for your continuous support. i hope you're just as excited as i am! more things are to come

please look forward to Heartbreak and Sleepless Nights.

with all my love,

M

links

amazon: https://a.co/d/huEJ28B

barnes and nobles: https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/heartbreak-and-sleepless-nights-maharani-sirris/1145472025?ean=9789360946586

ebook: https://ebooks.bookleafpub.com/product-page/heartbreak-and-sleepless-nights

#poem #poetry #sad poem #sad poetry #sad thoughts #sadnees #heartbreak #heartbreak poem #heartbreak poetry #heartbeak

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cantsleephomesick · 4 days

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ill leave

i promise ill leave

once you tell me youre sorry

once you tell me you love me

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cantsleephomesick · 5 days

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if i killed myself tonight

would you finally call

and ask if im alright

or would you ignore me

like that beggar on the street

be honest please

im jumping off a bridge

while you continue to think nothing of me

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cantsleephomesick · 6 days

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waking up and knowing

you dont hurt one bit

while im drowning in a thousand cuts

isnt fair

i hope one day you wake up

and your heart aches just as much

as mine does

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cantsleephomesick · 7 days

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i do not know what it is like to live

because i died many years ago

when i was only eight years old

what is life like

when youre fully alive

oh please tell me

it would be such a delight

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cantsleephomesick · 8 days

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there always be another you

a better version of you

that cares for me

and that doesnt leave me

i guess we are easily replaceable

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cantsleephomesick · 9 days

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did all these days we spent together mean nothing at all

if in the first place you never wanted me

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cantsleephomesick · 10 days

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drowning pt2

im drowning, and my lungs are filled with water

you know i want to make it out alive

but swimming to the surface is getting pretty exhausting

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cantsleephomesick · 11 days

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you reek like smoke

but you smell like home

what a shame

we met in this place

let me tell you something

let it be known

you have saved my life

by just being nice

i would not know what to do without you

it is so complicated

but it does not have to be

so please

put me out of my misery

and tell me why on earth

does it have to be me

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cantsleephomesick · 12 days

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i feel like im not alive

im just in my head again

floating

and deprived

but maybe im just tired

a girl in a world

full of misery

my arms are a battlefield

and i have lost

shaking hands with the devil

i couldn’t just survive

it was harder to stay alive

don’t trust me

when i say im fine

i can tear down forests

in the month of august

to show

that anger bubbles in all of us

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cantsleephomesick · 12 days

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i understand everything but you

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cantsleephomesick · 13 days

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its almost been a year since i saw you

on the street

in a yellow sweater

i would walk past your work

taking the long way

with sweat dripping down my back

hoping some day i would run into you

i saw you

from miles away

i could recognize that silhouette anywhere anyway

i always rehearsed what i would say

but nothing came out

no smile or wave

i knew that you would never change

it hit home

to know i grieved a person

that no longer existed

but its finally over

and there is no more wishing on a four leaf clover

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cantsleephomesick · 13 days

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the day you left

i thought about killing myself too

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