blanketburritotoro

[blanketburritotoro]

The fact that I used to princess cary other girls when I was 11, because I liked showing them how strong I was, and I liked how giddy and happy it made them......

I should have realized I'm gay SO MUCH SOONER.

#lesbian #took me another decade #lgbtq #childhood #to clarify the feelings were not platonic #what made me remeber this was i just did arm day for the first time ever #and i had the thought that if i keep it up ill be able to do that again #i can already feel the regret in my arms though #itll be worth it itll be so fun to scoop up gf #i will need to get a gf for that though #ill need to actually date to get a gf #one thing at a time though firstly the pain of arm day

[blanketburritotoro]

So, I just listened to David Archuleta's new song 'Hell Together' and it's raining in my house but only on my face.

#ex lds #ex mormon #david archuleta #lgbtq #hell together #youre not alone #religous trauma

[blanketburritotoro]

Was watching the new season of CBS Ghosts....

This is now my alarm tone.

#ghosts #cocain #alarm tone #cbs ghosts #Hetti is litterally amazing

[blanketburritotoro]

Friend asked me how I was doing after attending a funeral.

I responded with a screanshot of AO3 being down.

They immediately asked if I needed them to come over and hang-out with me even though they're at work.

✨️friendship goals✨️

#i declined on account of genuinely being okay #when ao3 is down #ao3 #friendship goals #ao3 is down

[blanketburritotoro]

Was looking through my pintrist boards and came across one I had titled "things to do with the lads" it only had one pin. It was an old tumblr post by asphodel-s-blog about getting dressed up and having a tea party.

#things to do with the lads #recycled tumblr #pintrist #tea party #asphodel-s-blog #friendship goals

[blanketburritotoro]

Yeah sure, the D.A.R.E. program is okay I guess.

Wanna know what ACTUALLY left a lasting impact on me and made me want to NEVER go anywhere near drugs as a child? Had a major developmental impact?

The Ranger's Apprentice ya book series by John Flanagan.

There's a good length of time in there where a character's consciousness just goes bye-bye because of a drug he was tricked into taking and let me tell you. For little 12year old me, the length of the story before that character was weened off the drug and came back to himself was like I had personally lost an actual real and dear friend. Lil bebe me was so distraught. Grief stricken as I could be and still appear "normal". At that point in my life I didn't have friends, I had books. Broke me a little bit until the character got better.

Anyway, D.A.R.E. who?

#john flanagan #rangers apprentice #ya books #no friends just books #d.a.r.e #dont do drugs kids

[blanketburritotoro]

Bg3 act 2 spoilers

Listen. Listen. Listen Larian Studios listen. Listen Larian. Larian listen.

Let Tav try to punch Elminster.

let Tav TRY TO PUNCH Elminster.

You can have Tav be stopped and PHYSICALLY RESTRAINED. So nothing comes of it.

But listen.

LISTEN LARIAN.

I DO NOT CARE who it is. Or how POWERFUL and IMPORTANT they are.

I don't care that he's just the messenger.

If a person came into MY CAMP and told MY BUDDY (my sweet cheese. My rotten soldier. My good time boi. Gale) that he should KILL HIMSELF

I AM GOING TO PUNCH THAT MOTHER FUCKER.

Let Tav be furious and rude to Elminster.

LET TAV TRY TO DECK THE DUDE.

#larian studios #the wizard of waterdeep #gale dekarios #gale of waterdeep #elminster #bg3 mystra #fuck mystra #bg3 #bg3 tav

[blanketburritotoro]

I'm here to eat nuggets and cause problems.

*pulls dinosaur nugget out of purse*

We're still good for now tho.

#dino nuggets #im here to cause problems #no really ive done this #went to the mall with friends and started eating nuggets out of my purse #they didnt react #more of my same shit for them i guess

[blanketburritotoro]

One time I was starting to have a panic attack,

But then my cat, Momo, gently bapped my forehead with just the smallest amount of claw. And, I not having realized she was on my bed with me at all, let alone that she was asking me for pets, my system was so shocked that the attack stopped there. Just. Stopped. As it dissipated almost immediately, she started to cuddle me and purr insistently.

Do I understand the science behind this? Yes.

Will that stop me from claiming that Momo has magic healing baps? No.

Momo is magic.

#panic attacks #cats #loving pets #some other tag but its 4am and im too brain dead to think of more things that exist #panic disorders #anxiety #the word panic doesnt cary as much weight as it should #not to state the obvious but panic is awful and terrifying

[blanketburritotoro]

Sometimes, I start a quote in the group chat and then go into a one on one chat with one of my buddies and demand they finish the quote in the group chat if they haven't yet.

:)

#group chat #quotes #references #finish the quote #bffs #:)

[blanketburritotoro]

Being raised to put others first to a toxic degree is so garbage. And it's SUCH A TRIP when you start to heal.

I had subconsciously trained myself to ignore my wants and needs so that I didn't feel put out putting others first.

And now I'm on occasion bamboozled when I discover I enjoy something I've been enjoying for years.

For example what happened today:

Me:*shows sister targeted pinterist add with buff shark stuffy*

Sister:

"Well, that makes sense. It's unhinged, you like unhinged. And it's sharks, you like sharks."

Me:

"I what now?"

Sister:

*look of abject disapproval* "you like sharks."

Me:

*shocked Pikachu face*

Things I've done that led her to this conclusion:

got myself shark house slippers

bought myself a shark stuffy

Follows divers on social media because shark content

fuckin' loves shark facts

Greatly enjoys a certain shark cosplayer on tiktok

shark make brain buurrr

SO APPARENTLY I LIKE SHARKS

Who knew? NOT ME OBVIOUSLY.

#healing from trauma #i also didnt realize i ADORE carosels until she pointed it out #i didnt realize i dont care much for bananas until i was 22 #before i had cats i didnt realize im obsessed with them until a roomate pointed it out casually #i didnt realize i love trains even though i tend to yell excitedly about them #im getting better at knowing myself but damn sometimes it ambishes me #trauma #sharks are cool #cronic people pleasing #healing

[blanketburritotoro]

*testing new eyeliner out on back of hand*

*draws hidden leaf village symbol*

#everytime #eyeliner #naruto #ive been doing this for years

[blanketburritotoro]

Okay, but is it too much to ask for an in my budget, vibrant multi colored, art nouveau with folk art elements, plush but not shaggy, soft, easy whipe clean, memory foam, dragon, area rug‽

IS IT TOO MUCH TO ASK‽

Apparently, yes it is. Time for a temper tantrum.

#i know i could feasibly commision one if i had money to throw around. #the balance between quality and cost is hard in the best of times let alone this capitalist hellscape #and if it was what i wanted it would be A WORK OF ART and id want the artisit to be paid fairly #but im so poor #and i just want what i want #hence the tantrum #house decor #aethestic #the livingroom vibe is cottage core science nerd adhd wizard druid #sans rug the vibe is coming along quite nicely #throw a tantrum

[blanketburritotoro]

"Oh, adhd is just an excuse. There's no way you forgot that mess is there/to take care of that thing/etc! You're just lazy and didn't want to take care of it."

My good bitch. I just went my entire day. With one of my contact lenses inside out. Causing my eye pain everytime I blinked. But since I couldn't take care of it when it first happened since I was rushing out the door, by the time I reached my destination, I FORGOT.

Let me say that again. Contact lense inside out. Pain everytime I blink. And I accidentally phased it out.

Wasn't until 5 minutes ago AT 11 PM that I went "huh. I kinda have a headache that's not-OWFUCKMYMOTHERFUCKINGEYEBALL." and went to the restroom to figure out what was wrong with my contact.

#adhd #tuning things out #space blindness #its not lazy #nuerodivergent #neurodiversity

[blanketburritotoro]

*leaving for work*

*can't find car keys*

*is now late for work*

*texts supervisor apologizing and explaining*

*keeps looking for keys*

*over two and a half hours go by*

*panic attack*

*calls off work*

My boss: "Yeah ok, as long as you have the leave to use. Seems like you need to have less anxiety."

Cheers Dave, I'll try that next.

#you dont say #dont be mean to dave tho we like dave #panic attack #anxiety #I KNOW my keys are in my house somewhere #looked everywhere they could ha e possibly gone with out being walked off with #turned the ground floor upside down looking but no luck #at this point im worried one of my cats walked off with them and ill find them months later behind a pile of boxes i still havent unpacked #we moved over a year and a half ago but theres still a couple of room with piles of boxes #depression will do that to ya #panic disorder #mental health #lost car keys #i had to call a locksmith #it was expensive #im too poor for this shit #like no really #if the bank hadnt been all you do good money but you poor here have more borrowing power even tho you didnt ask for it #i would not have had anyway to fix this problem #screaming

[blanketburritotoro]

A conversation I have to have with my tortie cat multiple times a week:

Me:"Momo, if you indefinitely trap me with cuddles, I won't be able to get up and feed you"

Momo:*stares*

Momo:*continues making biscuits on top of me*

#cat biscuits #cats #pets #i love her so much

[blanketburritotoro]

POV: on the freeway. Going zoomie-mph. In the middle of changing lanes. I check my blind spot, and when I look back forward A SPIDER FALLS FROM THE CIELING ONTO MY LAP.

(Nothing happened. I squoshed it with my bare hands after I screamed. And car driving things were normal. BUT FUCK THAT SHIT)

#spiders #arachnophobic #short horror stories #why #i got spider guts on my hand #drive safe kids #dont try this at home #0/10 would not recomend #driving #driving distractions #i was going a little over 80mph #fuck that shit