assbutt-writes

[assbutt-writes]

A Heart Of Iron Chapter 35

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Loki

Just as quickly as it started, the vision ended, leaving him crumpled on the floor mid-shout. He slumped down breathlessly, feeling tense, like a rubber band pulled so tight it was about to snap. He started to feel like someone was watching him, studying his every move, and his eyes darted around to try and find who it was. Eventually his gaze landed on what looked like a ring on his finger made of a dark gray steel with a ruby stone shaped like Tony’s arc reactor set in it. Before he could look at the ring closer, though, the door slammed open.

“What’s going on? I heard you yell,” Steve panted, and Loki looked up at him, startled.

“Oh, Steve. It’s,” he started before reconsidering, “It’s nothing.”

“Are you sure? I mean, you remember the last ti-” Steve started before cutting himself off with a sigh. “Just- Just be careful. I’m going to trust you, but if you get yourself killed, just know I will personally go up to Heaven to kill you myself.”

Loki let out a distracted laugh, still scanning the room for who was watching him, and Steve looked at him, a more serious look on his face.

“Look, no matter what you might believe, we care about you. We’re here for you. You know that, right?” Steve said.

“Yeah,” he said absently.

Steve sighed, looking at Loki with a mixture of pity and concern, which might have once made his blood boil, but for some reason only made him feel slightly annoyed, his mind completely filled with the unwavering sensation of being watched. With a final worried look, Steve turned around and left his room, carefully shutting the door behind himself. Once Steve was gone, the feeling of being watched increase tenfold, and Loki snapped.

“Alright, show yourself,” he spat out at the empty space. There was silence, the presence seeming to lessen, if only slightly, which made Loki grow even more frustrated. “I know you’re there. Show yourself right this instance, or I’ll-”

Loki didn’t even get the chance to finish the threat, not that he even knew how he would, because the presence seemed to grow impossibly stronger, as if it was right in front of him, before disappearing completely. He sat in silence for what felt like forever, chest heaving from the relief, before suddenly realizing just how tired he was. He walked over to his bed and lied down, closing his eyes and letting the warm void of sleep wash over him.

He woke to his own screams and a searing pain in his head, feeling like his skull was splitting in half. He had the sudden urge to take off the ring, and he did, throwing it halfway across the room, but it just appeared back on his finger, as if he hadn’t moved it at all. Suddenly, memories started to flood into his mind, and he almost collapsed with the shock.

"What does that say?" Loki asks carefully, realizing that the voice coming out of his mouth is Tony's, and that he's pointing at his own name jaggedly carved into the wall of a cave, lines crossing through it as if it was scratched out in a fit of rage.

"The name of the guy who's the reason I'm here," Kosto says flippantly, and, wait, Kosto? Isn’t he-

"Loki Odinson?" Tony asks warily, and Kosto nods.

"Yup. We were fighting and I got pushed off of the Bifrost. I'm assuming something similar happened to you?" he says, and no. Kosto couldn’t be-

"Something like that," Tony says, before realizing something. "You said that Loki's the reason why you're here?"

"Yeah. Why, did he 'forget' to mention me?" Kosto says, putting air quotes around "forget" and rolling his eyes.

"Why would he have mentioned you?" Tony asks.

"Oh, I dunno, maybe because we were supposed to get married," Kosto says sarcastically, and Tony freezes.

"Wait, what?" Loki says, completely shocked, the words coming out of his mouth his own as much as they are Tony's.

"Yeah. He cared way more about becoming king of Asgard than he ever did about being with me, and when Odin gave him an ultimatum, marry me or become king, well, I think we both know what he chose," Kosto says bitterly, and Tony takes a step back.

"That can't be true. I mean, the Loki I know wouldn't do that," Tony shakes his head.

"Would he? I mean, this is Loki we're talking about. 'God of mischief, king of lies', or so he used to call himself. Can you really trust him?" Kosto says, and Loki wants to scream in frustration.

The memory changes again, and Loki-as-Tony is on the floor of the cave crying, Kosto sitting on the floor next to him calling Tony’s name.

“-ony? Tony, can you hear me? What’s wrong?” Kosto says worriedly, and Loki looks up at him, feeling tears pouring down his face.

“He loves me. He loves me,” Tony is saying, and a look of shock forms on Kosto’s face before he schools it into one of confusion.

“Who?” he asks carefully.

“Loki. Loki loves me,” Tony sobs, and a look of pure rage crosses over Kosto’s face, his eyes briefly glowing yellow, and the look is gone as quickly as it appeared, but not quickly enough.

“Why-” Kosto starts, before Tony cuts him off, suddenly extremely angry.

“Because I know he does. Because that’s who he is, who we are, and I’m not going to let you and your whatever-it-is convince me otherwi-” Tony starts, before a searing pain shoots through his skull making him cry out, almost the exact same as Loki had felt right before he got the memories. The pain is so unbearable that it makes his vision start to go dark, and the last thing he sees is a bright yellow glow coming from Kosto, the other man having an almost regretful look on his face.

“Go to sleep, Tony. We can talk about this in the morning,” he says, and then everything goes dark.

Loki opened his eyes to a ruby red glow filling the room, the edges tinged with yellow, and as he looked around, he saw what looked like glowing balls floating through the air, each one showing a different scene from Tony’s perspective. Looking into the orbs, he saw him and Tony kissing and Tony fighting Thanos, along with various scenes that all seemed to be from the planet that the other visions were on, all centering around Tony and Kosto.

As he looked at the various orbs, he realized that the pain in his head was almost completely gone, the remaining ache a dull, throbbing pain. His mind was racing, and he looked down to see that the stone on the ring he was wearing was a swirling mix of yellow and red, the red overpowering the yellow, and as the yellow slowly faded away, he felt a sense of dread settle over him. He had a feeling that, no, he knew that the ring was causing all of this, and that it had something to do with Tony, but he had no clue what the connection was.

#frostiron #loki #loki/tony #loki/tony stark #tony stark #tony/loki #ao3 #fanfiction #loki laufeyson

[assbutt-writes]

A Heart Of Iron Chapter 34

Chapter below cut

Tony

Tony is back in the yellow void, the same figures of Loki, Odin, and Kosto there as always, but this time something’s different. The Loki figure isn’t plain yellow, more of a swirling yellow and red marble-like pattern, as if the red and yellow are fighting for dominance, and when he looks at it, his emotions feel like they’re at war with each other, intense hatred and overwhelming love both just beneath the surface, preventing each other from fully taking effect.

The Loki figure seems to be trying to talk to him, its face confused and frantic, but he can’t hear a word, and no matter how hard he tries, he can’t quite manage to read its lips. Frustrated, he tries to move closer, but a yellow glow surrounds him and he finds that he can’t move his body, can’t even turn his head an inch. He struggles against it, but nothing works, and, as he watches, the yellow wins out in the Loki and the glow around him dies out, all of the love that he felt toward the image of the other man gone without a trace. He relaxes, back to the familiarity of the void that he’s seen every night that he’s been on the blue planet.

Tony woke up to the sound of heavy breathing, and looked over to see Kosto slumped over on the rock they used as a chair, sweat pouring down his face and a yellow glow emanating from his closed eyes. Tony blinked rapidly, confused at the strange light, but as soon as it appeared, it was gone. Not seeming to notice him, Kosto stood up and started to gather some materials that they used for travel outside of the cave before muttering something about needing to gather some materials, and Tony shook off his confusion before getting back to work on the harness for his pendant.

It was supposed to fit into the chest piece of his suit where the arc reactor was supposed to fit, and if everything worked out, he would be able to use his repulsors to create portals along with propelling himself through the air. It was coming along nicely, with one successful portal attempt. Well, semi-successful. It did end up creating a portal to a world filled with an endless sea of what looked like lava that started to pour into their world before he managed to close it.

Tony was trying to install his first attempt at a control console while singing under his breath when he felt a torrent of emotions and memories rush over him. It was so powerful that he dropped the tools he was holding in surprise as the flood of worry and love that was emanating from where the pendant was hanging around his neck hit him like a freight train, and he found himself scrambling to take it off. When he did, throwing it haphazardly onto the table, the feelings and memories stopped coming, but they didn’t leave him. Instead, he felt them slowly merge with his own, and he felt himself start to cry with pure emotion. He closed his eyes to try and stop the tears, and when he did, he saw the memories as if they were playing out in front of him, as if he was living them.

He wakes up in a hospital bed, his head throbbing with pain. He slowly looks around the room, his eyes landing on Steve standing over him with a harsh look on his face. He tries to sit up, but Steve pushes him back down.

"Loki, don't you dare," Steve says sternly, glaring at him. Loki? That’s not- "What the hell were you thinking? You stormed Valhalla, and when that didn't work, you stormed Asgard, and when that didn't work, you decided to literally fight yourself to death in the arena? Come on, Lokes, you know-"

What?

"Don’t you dare call me that,” Tony feels himself saying in Loki’s voice, his voice filled with venom. “And it's not my fault that I'm the only one who has tried anything to get Tony back! I'm sorry that I can't just go on with my daily life like he never fucking existed like all of you seem to be able to do."

Steve pulls back, a hurt look on his face, and Tony wants to apologize, to say he didn’t mean it, but no matter how hard he tries, he can’t quite make the words leave his mouth.

"I'm going to pretend that you didn't just say that," Steve says slowly. "You do know that we are all feeling the loss of Tony, we just have accepted the fact that we're not God. We can't bring him back, and, even if we could, who's to say that it would even be Tony that we bring back? I mean, you've seen the movies."

"Exactly! That's just fiction, but this is real life. If I could get into Valhalla, then I could figure out a way to bring him back, and then-" Loki says insistently, and it makes Tony’s heart break to hear Loki like this, and to know he caused it.

"And then what? This isn't what Tony would've wanted, you working yourself to death just because he's gone. We both know that he would've wanted you to-" Steve lectures.

"To- To what? Be happy? Live my life? How am I supposed to do that without him here? I- I don't- I can't-" Loki stammers, voice breaking. "I loved him, Steve. I loved him so much. I can't do this, any of this, without him."

"I know, Loki," Steve murmured softly, staring off into the distance. "I know."

Tony found himself on the floor crying, Kosto sitting on the floor next to him calling his name.

“-ony? Tony, can you hear me? What’s wrong?” Kosto said worriedly, and Tony looked up at him, tears flowing down his face.

“He loves me. He loves me,” Tony said, and a look of shock formed on Kosto’s face before he schooled it into one of confusion.

“Who?” he asked carefully.

“Loki. Loki loves me,” Tony sobbed, and a look of pure rage crossed over Kosto’s face, his eyes briefly glowing yellow, and the look was gone as quickly as it appeared, but not quickly enough.

“Why-” Kosto started, before Tony cut him off, a horrible realization coming to him that made him so, so mad.

“Because I know he does. Because that’s who he is, who we are, and I’m not going to let you and your whatever-it-is convince me otherwi-” Tony started, before a searing pain shot through his skull making him cry out, feeling like a million volts of electricity were shooting through a red-hot knife in his skull. The pain was so unbearable that it made his vision start to go dark, and the last thing he saw was a bright yellow glow coming from Kosto, the other man having a bored, exasperated look on his face, as if he had lived this moment a million times before.

“Go to sleep, Tony. We can talk about this in the morning,” he said, and then everything went dark.

#frostiron #loki #loki/tony #loki/tony stark #tony stark #tony/loki #ao3 #fanfiction #loki laufeyson

[assbutt-writes]

Poetry Masterpost

Forever in a Second

[assbutt-writes]

Forever in a Second

Nothing lasts forever Those were the last words you said to me

I hear them every night just as I fall asleep And as I look into the empty faces of all of the strangers around me Into the empty pages of the book you never got to finish Into the book you said that I would be the first person to read

Well, guess what? I was And I loved it More than you could ever know, I loved it

You know, sometimes I wish I had gotten those words on tape So I don’t have to rely on my faulty human memory to hear them Because I don’t want to lose them

Because I know that now They are more true than ever I know that none of this is permanent That it could all be gone in the blink of an eye

And I think I’m okay with that, you know? Because at least I got to know you At least I got to hear your voice And see that brilliant, light-up-the-world smile of yours That could make a second feel like an eternity

I love you And I’ll never forget you Not in a million years

So just wait for me, okay? I’ll be there soon I promise

#poetry #poem #original poem #original poetry #grief #tw grief

[assbutt-writes]

A Heart Of Iron Chapter 33

Chapter below cut

Loki

They set JARVIS up so that he would notify them every time Loki drank, and that just made things worse. Loki tried talking to his Tony illusion, but it wasn't the same. Illusion Tony didn't have the same laugh, or the same smile, or the same anything, really. He was just a ghost of Tony, but that would mean that Tony was dead, and he wasn't. He just had to leave for a while, but he was going to come back eventually. Until then, Loki changed into his jogging gear, figuring that, when Tony got back, he was going to be pissed that Loki spent the entire time he was gone moping in his room.

When he got down to the common area, the others looked extremely shocked to see him out of his room, much less looking half-okay. Steve opened his mouth, looking like he was about to say something, but he changed his mind.

He started his run, getting so lost in thought that he didn't notice the man running alongside him until the other man tapped his shoulder. Loki flinched at the touch and stopped running, turning to look for whoever interrupted him. He saw Matt, the guy from months ago who he talked to when he was running from Tony.

"Hey, bench guy!" Matt said, and Loki was confused. He was pretty sure that he had been using an illusion when he last saw the other man, so how could he recognize him?

"Hey. Matt, was it?" Loki said hesitantly, and he nodded.

"Yeah. How have you been?" Matt asked, and Loki put on a fake smile.

"Good. How about you?" Loki said, and Matt's brow furrowed in confusion, the expression disappearing a second later.

"I'm okay. How are things with that guy you were talking about?" Matt asked, and Loki winced.

“They’re fine,” Loki said, not even convincing himself.

“You sure?” 

"It’s fine,” Loki said again, voice harsh, and Matt looked way too concerned for 

He turned away from Matt with a hasty goodbye and kept running, tears starting to form in his eyes. He didn't know where he was going, and, honestly, he didn't care. Tony was gone. He was gone, and he wasn't ever going to come back, and it was all Loki's fault. How stupid was he, letting Tony go into battle alone? Tony wasn’t “gone” he was dead, and it was all Loki’s fucking fault. If he had just thought about what was going to happen and gone with Tony, then maybe he would still be alive.

He eventually made his way to the Sanctum Sanctorum, and, when he made it to the doors, they opened before he even had the chance to knock. He stepped back in shock, not even fully knowing why he came here, but the Ancient One looked at him with such pity that it made him nauseous. He didn’t need pity. He didn’t deserve it.

“Loki. You were supposed to be here 10 minutes ago. Please, come inside,” she said, and he hesitantly entered the building.

“What do you mean, 10 minutes ago? I don’t even know why I’m here!” he said bemusedly, and she shook her head.

“Yes, you do. You want answers about Tony, and about how to get him back. I can’t give you those right now, though. These things take time, and if he’s going to come back, he’s going to need to find his way back to you on his own. You’re going to need to be prepared, though. The Tony you get back won’t be the same Tony you lost, and he’s going to need all the help you can give him,” the Ancient One said, and that just made Loki more confused.

“Wait, what do you mean ‘find his way back to me’? He’s dead, right?” Loki asked, and the Ancient One shook her head.

“Life and death isn’t as black and white as you might think. While the Tony you knew might be gone, Tony is still very much alive,” she said, and Loki let out a frustrated growl.

“Where is Tony?” Loki practically hissed, and the Ancient One got a sad look on her face.

“I’m sorry, but I can’t tell you that right now,” she said, and Loki put a dagger to her throat without even realizing he was doing it.

“Why not?” he spat, and she reached up and tapped his forehead. The next second, he was back in his room, lying in his bed.

Was all of that a dream? He blinked his eyes for a second, trying to re-orient himself, before he realized that no, that bitch had sent him back without any real answers about where Tony was. He stood up, a little dizzy from the teleportation, but he shook it off, needing to find any way possible to let out all of his anger. He was just about to leave the room to go down to the gym when his vision suddenly went a bright ruby red.

Loki is in a yellow void, a figure of Odin on his left and one of Kosto on his right, each of them glowing a bright yellow. He looks down and his body is covered in a swirling yellow and red marble-like pattern, moving as if the red and yellow are fighting for dominance, and when he looks at Tony, he can see burning hatred and pure adoration at war on his face.

He tries to call for Tony, to figure out what’s going on, but Tony can’t seem to hear him, and is looking confusedly at his lips, as if he’s trying and failing to read them. He can see Tony grow frustrated, but as he tries to move closer, a yellow glow surrounds him, seeming to be holding him in place. He struggles against it, but nothing seems to work. Loki looks down as the yellow covering his body wins out over the red, and then it’s all gone.

#frostiron #loki #loki/tony #loki/tony stark #tony stark #tony/loki #ao3 #fanfiction #loki laufeyson

[assbutt-writes]

Starting the Stream Chapter 4

Chapter below cut

Wade

The ride to the hospital was a blur. Wade never let go of Peter’s hand, and Yellow didn’t say a word the entire drive. When he stopped to think about it, Yellow had been silent ever since he had gotten home and found Peter. When they got there, the doctors had to tell him that they were going to have to take Peter to evaluate him and figure out what was going on, and they couldn’t do that with him there. He went into the waiting room and sent a quick message to the RedCraft group chat that he was going to be offline for a while.

He waited there for what felt like an eternity until a doctor came out and told him that Peter had something called acute iron-deficiency anemia, probably as a result of him not eating very much over an extended period of time. He asked if he could see Peter, and the doctor showed him to the room that Peter was in.

Wade’s heart nearly broke in two when he saw Peter lying in the bed, looking so frail and sick that Wade felt like he was going to cry. This couldn’t be the same man that, only a few hours earlier, was all bubbly and happy over getting a record deal. He rushed over to the side of the bed and grabbed Peter’s hand which felt way too cold. He sat in the chair next to the bed and turned to the doctor.

“How long before-” Wade said, voice breaking. “How long before he wakes up?”

“He should wake up soon,” the doctor said gently, and Wade let out a sigh of relief.

Peter was going to be okay.

After 17 hours of sitting at Peter’s bedside, never letting go of Peter’s hand, he felt a soft movement under his hand, and he looked up to see Peter reaching the hand not under Wade’s to rub at his eyes. When his eyes fell on the IV in his arm, his eyes widened, his head turning to face Wade.

“Peter, what happened?” Wade asked, so many emotions in his voice that Peter flinched slightly hearing them.

“What do you mean? Wade, where am I?” Peter asked worriedly. His eyes were darting all around the room, taking in his surroundings with dawning horror.

“You’re in the hospital. I found you lying on the bed, and you looked like you were dying. Hell, if I hadn’t gotten there when I did, you might have actually-” Wade started, voice breaking as he tried and failed to say it.

“What? No, that can’t be-” Peter started, but Wade cut him off angrily.

“Can’t be true? Yeah, well, guess what. It is,” Wade said, voice filled with a red-hot anger aimed more at himself than at Peter. After all, if he had been paying attention to his best friend instead of some strangers on the internet, then maybe none of this would’ve happened “The doctor said it seemed like you hadn’t eaten pretty much anything in a while. Pete, what’s going on? If it’s-”

“I’m fine, Wade. I promise. I probably spent too much time focused on my song and my job or something,” Peter reassured him, and Wade let out a choked little laugh that made Peter’s face fall.

“Pete, you need to quit that job. You almost died,” Wade said softly.

“I didn’t, though. Wade, I’m fine,” Peter said

“Yeah, well, you almost weren’t. And I-” Wade said sharply before sighing and lowering his voice to barely above a whisper, “I don’t think I could’ve forgiven myself if you weren’t.”

“Oh,” Peter said dumbly, and Wade let out a broken sigh.

“I just-” he started frustratedly, the exhaustion and sleep deprivation from the past 24 hours catching up with him all at once, before stopping. He shook his head, too exhausted in every way possible to be able to deal with that right then, and let out a wry laugh. “You know what, Pete? I’m too tired for this right now, so I’m just gonna go home and let us both get some rest. See you tomorrow.”

With that, Wade shakily stood up and walked to the door, hand pausing on the doorknob before he steeled himself, turned the knob, and left Peter’s room. He got into his car and started to drive home. The entire ride there, Yellow was yelling at him so loudly that it started to give him a headache, so when he got home, he checked with Ellie that she could stay at Alexis’ house for another night before breaking out a bottle of tequila and starting to drink straight from the bottle.

The next day was a blur. Yellow was silent for most of it, and when he did speak, it almost sounded like he was underwater. At that point, Wade’s own thoughts had started to sound like they were underwater too, but that was fine by him. Less thinking meant less worrying about Peter and less feeling like he should have noticed what was going on earlier, and that meant that Wade could actually get some peace and quiet.

He had finished half of the bottle before the door opened behind him and he heard a gasp of concern before he felt the bottle being pried from his hands and someone shouting his name, or at least what he thought was his name. Everything was too fuzzy for him to really hear what the other person was saying, but that was okay. He was okay.

Peter

“No, no, no, no, no. Wade? Wade, can you hear me? Come on, snap out of it!” Peter said frantically, shaking Wade.

“Peter! You look… look good. Warm. I like it. I like you,” Wade slurred happily, his eyes somewhat focusing on Peter before moving to the bottle of tequila Peter was holding. He grabbed lazily for the bottle, and Peter moved it out of his reach before walking hurriedly to the kitchen and putting the bottle away. He quickly filled a cup with water, moving back to Wade and handing him the cup.

“Drink this. We can talk after,” Peter was saying, and Wade moved his head away from the water before looking back at Peter and giggling in a way that was so different from the Wade that Peter knew that it was starting to scare him.

“Y’know, you’re really, really pretty,” Wade said brightly, face flushed and eyes filled with something that Peter couldn’t decipher but made him scared of what might come next. “I lo-”

“Drink,” Peter said, pushing the cup towards Wade and cutting off whatever the blonde was about to say.

Wade pouted before bringing the cup to his lips and drinking the water like he was dying of thirst. Once he finished, Peter brought him more, and when Wade had sobered up to the point that he was somewhat lucid, Peter had carefully explained what had happened, leaving out Wade’s drunken ramblings. A look of horror had spread across Wade’s face as he realized something.

“Oh my God, did Ellie-” Wade started, and Peter shook his head, having worried the same thing himself and called her to ask where she was.

“She’s still with Alexis. I didn’t tell her much, but she’s still worried. What happened?” Peter asked, voice filled with concern.

“You almost died,” Wade said, voice filled with that mix of self-hatred and sadness that made Peter’s heart break, “That’s what happened, Pete. You almost died, and Yellow was really loud, and, God, Pete, I’m so fucking sorry I didn’t notice sooner. I should’ve-”

“No, hey, look at me. I’m okay. I promise,” Peter said, and Wade looked up at him with a look so broken that it made Peter want to cry.

“No, you don’t understand. You almost died and I-” Wade said, voice breaking at the end. “I couldn’t do anything to stop it.”

Peter almost started to cry at that, and he pulled Wade into a gentle hug, not knowing what to say. Because, really, what could he say? He had gotten so wrapped up in his songwriting and streams with DP that he had all but forgotten about his real life and almost starved himself to death, not thinking about what that would do to the people that cared about him here.

“I’m so sorry, Wade,” Peter muttered into Wade’s shoulder. “I’m so, so sorry.”

#spideypool #spiderman #deadpool #wade wilson #peter parker #ao3 #fanfiction #tw alcohol abuse

[assbutt-writes]

The Forest Masterpost

Pairing - Jon/Martin

When a woman gets swallowed by the Earth and a note is left in her place with instructions and a deadline of midnight that night, her brother and her childhood friend record a tape to send to the Magnus Institute. As the recording progresses, things start to go wrong, and the tape gets dropped in front of the Magnus Institute, starting a chain of events that start to unearth something much, much darker than any of them could have imagined.

Chapter 1 - Case Number 0161004

Chapter 2 - Case Number 0101502

Chapter 3 - Case Number 0102703

Chapter 4 - Case Number 0113003

#the magnus archives #jon/martin #tma #the magnus archives fanfic #tma fanfic #ao3 #fanfic #fanfiction

[assbutt-writes]

The Forest Chapter 4

Chapter below cut

[RECORDING STARTS, A BUTTON ON A TAPE RECORDER CLICKS, AND A FAINT TAPE WHIRRING NOISE CAN BE HEARD]

JON: [TIREDLY] Statement of… [CLEARS THROAT AND STARTS AGAIN, VOICE SLIGHTLY LESS TIRED-SOUNDING] Statement of Olivia Marcus, regarding the disappearance of her wife and the book she found called Liber Saltus. Original statement given March 30th, 2011. Audio recording by Jonathan Sims, head archivist of the Magnus Institute, London.

Statement begins

I don’t expect you to believe me. To be completely honest, most days I don’t even believe myself. The only reason I know it even happened is that Lana isn’t here and this goddamned book is sitting on my lap right now.

Let me start from the beginning. Lana has always been into the supernatural, so you can imagine her enthusiasm when we found a book called Liber Saltus at a garage sale that looked like something out of a horror movie, the cover made out of a dark green wood, the pages yellowed and torn, and the ink the same green as the cover, looking almost hand-written. It only fueled her excitement when we saw that it talked about a realm called “the Forest” where the time travelled much differently than Earth, the floor was covered in a flesh-eating green slime and the spirits of its trees walked around, sometimes crossing over into our world to kidnap people.

It talked about the fact that most of the spirits stayed hostile when they came to Earth and would kill the human it brought back to the Forest, but that some of them turned good when they crossed the border between the Forest and Earth, and would instead befriend the human they came to kidnap. It said all of these spirits were linked to a book that appeared in the real world with them, and if that book was destroyed, they would be sent back to the Forest immediately, though they could leave behind a note in their place if they wished.

Here’s where we get to how Lana disappeared. That book contains a spell to summon a portal that can only be used once every 5 years, and, being the horror fanatic that she was, she decided that she just had to read it out loud. I think she read it wrong, though, because instead of it keeping her safe and keeping the portal open behind her, the portal started to close immediately, and I had to watch as one of the spirits inside killed her.

I’ve tried every way I can think of to destroy this damned book, but it won’t burn, I can’t tear off the pages, and it floats in the water. I need to get rid of it, though, and I heard you all will keep supernatural artefacts, so I thought I’d give it to you with this statement.

JON: [STILL TIRED BUT VOICE NOW FILLED WITH AWE] End statement. This is… [PAUSE, LETS OUT A SMALL LAUGH] amazing. It means that Martin may still be alive, and I might be able to actually get him back. I need to get that book.

[THE TAPE RECORDER GETS PICKED UP, AND FOOTSTEPS CAN BE HEARD. A SECOND LATER, A DOOR OPENS AND THE FOOTSTEPS ECHO IN A HALL, THEN A STAIRWAY, AND THEN ANOTHER, HEAVIER DOOR OPENS AND THE ECHO GROWS. THE TAPE RECORDER GETS SHUFFLED AROUND AS A BOOK GETS PICKED UP, AND PAGES CAN BE HEARD FLIPPING]

JON: Here we go. [READING FROM BOOK] “Te appello, Saltus, et praecipio tibi ut per tuas silvas tutos iter et tutum iter reducas ad domum meam.”

[A WHOOSHING SOUND CAN BE HEARD]

JON: Alright, here we go.

#the magnus archives #jon/martin #tma #the magnus archives fanfic #tma fanfic #ao3 #fanfic #fanfiction

[assbutt-writes]

The Forest Chapter 3

Chapter below cut

[RECORDING CONTINUES]

SASHA: Jon? What do you mean?

JON: I had him put away the slime we found on the tape recorder and now both it and him are gone. I just read a statement about its abilityto eat people, and I think it ate him.

SASHA: Are you sure?

JON: He said it tried to eat him before, Sasha, and I sent him to it again anyway. He’s dead, and it’s my fault.

SASHA: No, are you sure it ate people? I remember seeing a statement a while back about a ghost that dripped the same green goo, and it didn’t kill the people it took. It just took them to its realm.

JON: Where’s the statement?

SASHA: I don’t know. Maybe somewhere in the archives? I think it was given in late 2010.

[A BUTTON ON THE TAPE RECORDER CLICKS AND ANOTHER RECORDING STARTS WITH ANOTHER CLICK]

JON: [TIRED] It’s been almost a month since Martin disappeared, and I think I found the statement Sasha was talking about in a box filled with other statements referencing this green goo. I don’t know why I wasn’t told about it, but that is beside the point.

Statement of Elliot Holt, regarding the disappearance of the ghost that befriended him when he was a child. Original statement given February 15th, 2010. Audio recording by Jonathan Sims, head archivist of the Magnus Institute, London.

Statement begins.

My sister said that you guys listened to her about what she saw during the fire, so I thought that if anyone can help me get Molly back, it would be you. Anyway, I’m getting ahead of myself. Let’s start with when I met her.

It all started at a magic show. I think I was about 8 or so, and I don’t remember where it was, only that it was supposed to be in an extremely haunted hotel. A guy that used to perform at the theatre I acted at was doing a magic show, and my mom wanted me to go and support him. I wasn’t all that thrilled about watching a magic show, but my little sister Allison was, so I went along anyway. The show ended up being pretty cool. They did the trick where they saw somebody in half, and I really liked it, and they also did a few escape tricks that were really good. All things considered, I had a pretty good time, at least until I went to the bathroom.

There I saw this girl that looked to be about my age. She was this see-through dark-green colour, and she was wearing this dress that was a lighter green than the rest of her. She seemed to be flickering, and I immediately realised that she was a ghost. I was really excited to meet a real-life ghost, and I said hi to her, and she said hi back. She introduced herself as Molly, and I asked her what it was like being a ghost. I don’t really remember her response, as this was around 7 years ago, but I do remember that we kept talking for what felt like ages.

Eventually my Dad got worried and came to check on me. I tried to introduce him to my new-found friend, but he couldn’t see her. He got this funny look on his face before telling me that the show was over and it was time to come home. Molly followed us, and for the next 9 years, she followed me around. I admit, it was nice to have a friend that no-one else could see or hear, because she could help me make other, alive friends and cheat on tests. She did seem to age, which I thought, and still think, was weird. I mean, ghosts are supposed to be ageless, right? There was also this book that Molly gave me that looked like a copy of the first Percy Jackson book. She said that it was her favourite book and to make sure to keep it safe, so I took it everywhere with me to make sure no harm came to it.

Every once in a while I would notice a small pile of dark green slime, the same colour as her. Other people could see it, and whenever someone other than me tried to touch it, it burned their skin, but when I touched it, it felt as cold and slimy as it looked, completely harmless.

Anyway, almost 6 weeks ago our school caught fire, and during the fire, I noticed something was off with Molly. She seemed to be panicking, asking me where the book was. When she asked me that, I realised that in my haste to leave the school, I had left my backpack containing it on my chair. I told her this, and she only got more frantic. I noticed that as the school burned down, she started to speak in a language that I had never heard before, her normally forest-green features turning ash-grey.

When she crumbled to ash, there was a piece of old, yellowed paper in her place that read “Vale, Elliot. Numquam te obliviscar. Quaeso me vel ne obliviscaris.” I looked it up, and it’s Latin for “Goodbye, Elliot. I will never forget you. Please don't forget me either.” I brought the paper with me to show you guys, but I’m not going to give it to you, and it doesn’t show up on camera, so I don’t know what help that will be. I’m sorry I can’t do more.

The school ended up burning to the ground, and Hannah Ellis and Travis Boyd died in the fire. When I went to the classroom to get the book Molly gave me as a reminder of her, I found that all that was left of my backpack, and it, was a pile of ashes. I didn’t tell Allie, but I have a feeling that whatever she saw during the fire is somehow related to what happened to Molly. Her note didn’t make it seem like she died, though, so I think that there has to be a way to get her back.

JON: [TIRED] End statement. This is… I don’t know what to make of this. I don’t know how this could help me find Martin, but it does shed some light on what the note that Benjamin and Daniel found could mean. If I remember correctly, “Libre Saltus” translates to “Book of the Forest.” I managed to track down Carmen Books and Records, and at exactly 12:00 am on April 11th, a dark green hole appeared on the floor, appearing to be above a dark forest. I have a feeling that these two events might be connec-

[THERE IS A KNOCK ON THE DOOR]

JON: Come in, Mart- [THERE IS A PAUSE BEFORE JON SIGHS] whoever you are.

SASHA: Hey, Jon? I think I found something you might want to see some- [PAUSE] Holy shit, you look awful. When was the last time you slept?

JON: It’s not important. What did you find?

SASHA: Okay? I remember you were talking about a “Libre Saltus”, and I think I found a statement that talks about it.

JON: [VOICE STILL TIRED, BUT MORE ALERT] Give it to me.

[THERE IS A SHUFFLING AND THEN A LONG PAUSE]

JON: Thank you. Is that all?

SASHA: Well, not exactly. [PAUSE] Look, I found the book it talks about, but-

JON: What? Where is it?

SASHA: Jon, let me finish. It’s a very, very dangerous book. The last person to have it went missing, and-

JON: Yes, yes, I know, I read the statement. Where is it?

[SASHA SIGHS]

SASHA: It’s in artefact storage.

JON: Okay.

SASHA: Look, whatever is going on with the book, I think you need to stay as far away from it as possible. I know I am.

JON: I- [THERE’S A PAUSE, AND THEN JON SIGHS] I can’t. I need to find Martin.

[SASHA SIGHS]

SASHA: Okay. Just be careful.

JON: I will.

[THE DOOR OPENS AND THEN CLOSES, AND JON SIGHS]

JON: [QUIETLY] End recording.

[A BUTTON ON THE TAPE RECORDER CLICKS, AND THE TAPE WHIRRING NOISE ENDS]

#the magnus archives #jon/martin #tma #the magnus archives fanfic #tma fanfic #ao3 #fanfic #fanfiction

[assbutt-writes]

The Forest Chapter 2

Chapter below cut

[RECORDING STARTS, A BUTTON ON A TAPE RECORDER CLICKS, AND A FAINT TAPE WHIRRING NOISE CAN BE HEARD]

JON: Statement of Allison Holt, regarding the fire in her school and the books that dripped green goo. Original statement given February 15th, 2010. Audio recording by Jonathan Sims, head archivist of the Magnus Institute, London.

Statement begins.

Look, I didn’t mean to burn down the school. Wait, no, that’s a lie, I kind of did, okay, but when you have hordes upon hordes of book-monster-things chasing after you and your only weapon is a single lighter in a room filled with monsters made out of paper, there’s only so much you can do. The up-side is that at least now school’s cancelled, and I don’t think anyone was hurt, at least not by the fire. I think I saw Travis get eaten by Mr. Byler’s copy of War and Peace, and Hannah might have been eaten by her copy of Flying the Dragon, but other than that, I think everyone got out okay.

Anyway, I’m getting ahead of myself. I think it started with the library. Luckily the librarians were out for lunch so it was closed, but it was terrifying to walk to those doors and see hundreds of books throwing themselves against the door, every slam causing more of this dark green goo to fly out of the books’ pages and cover the door. When I saw what was happening, I ran the other way, and I found the fire alarm near the entrance and pulled it. The alarm seemed to make the books more frantic, and even more of them flew to the door and started banging. I say flew, because that’s the easiest way to describe it, but it wasn’t like them flapping their pages like wings. No, they seemed to be teleporting a little bit at a time, moving somewhat slowly while flickering in and out of existence.

When the entire door was covered in books, I could have sworn I saw what looked like a woman wearing a tattered and old dark green dress, her entire body seeming to flicker in and out of existence, like a ghost in one of those old horror movies. Her mouth was open in a scream of fury that I could hear even through the door, and it left my ears ringing when she disappeared a second later. When the books broke down the door and started moving toward me, I ran as fast as I could in the opposite direction.

As I was running, I saw Mr. Byler’s copy of War and Peace shoot out tendrils of the dark green goo at Tyler Grant, which wrapped around him and pulled him closer to the book. I saw what looked like a ghost of a woman, her translucent, flickering body the same colour as the goo, and when the tendrils pulled him to the woman, she wrapped her arms around him, and he disappeared. I kept running and saw the same thing happen to Hannah. By the time the books caught up to me, I was in Mrs. Birch’s classroom, and I was completely surrounded. I felt around in my pockets for anything I could use as a weapon, and I found my mom’s lighter and sighed with relief. I had found it on the table that morning and put it in my pocket so she couldn’t use it.

I thought that since books are made of paper and these things at least looked like books, if I threw the lighter at the books, then they would burn, right? Well, I was a little too right. The book-monsters caught fire, but so did the goo, and then so did the desk, and I barely had enough time to jump out of the window before the entire room caught fire. I ran out to the field where the rest of the students were, and I looked around for my brother Elliot. Once I found him, I tried to tell him what happened, and he looked at me like I was crazy. Everyone I’ve ever told has looked at me that way. I’m not, though. I know what I saw, and, if my testimony isn’t enough for you, they ended up finding Tyler and Hannah’s bodies in the fire, with third-degree burns all over them. I did some research and found out that there were what seemed to be rings of acid burns around the areas where I saw the tendrils grab them.

JON: Statement ends. Once he gets back from securing the goo, I’m going to have Martin double-check the story about the school burning and the “acid rings” on the bodies of Hannah and Tyler. It might prove to be difficult, though, because the only person involved in this story whose full name is known is Allison Holt. This statement does seem to lend some credibility to the tape we found due to the acidic goo mentioned in both of them, along with the fact that this statement is dated in early 2010, meaning that this is either a prank played by some extremely dedicated people, or that this situation might be-

MARTIN: [DISTANTLY, VERY FRANTICALLY] Jon! Someone! Help! No, get off- [SCREAMS]

JON: [SHOUTING] Martin? Martin, what’s going on?

[SILENCE]

JON: [YELLING] Martin?

[THERE ARE SOUNDS OF THE TAPE RECORDER BEING PICKED UP AND A CHAIR ROLLING BACKWARDS. THE DOOR SLAMS OPEN, AND HEAVY, FAST FOOTSTEPS CAN BE HEARD. A FEW SECONDS LATER ANOTHER DOOR IS THROWN OPEN]

JON: Martin? Where are you? [PAUSE] Martin, this isn’t funny. [PAUSE, THEN SHOUTING] Sasha! Tim! Anyone!

[DOOR OPENS]

SASHA: Jon? What’s going on?

JON: [VOICE LACED WITH FEAR] It’s Martin. He’s gone.

#the magnus archives #jon/martin #tma #the magnus archives fanfic #tma fanfic #ao3 #fanfic #fanfiction

[assbutt-writes]

The Forest Chapter 1

Chapter below cut

[RECORDING STARTS, A BUTTON ON A TAPE RECORDER CLICKS, AND A FAINT TAPE WHIRRING NOISE CAN BE HEARD]

BENJI: Hello? Is this thing working?

[SOMEONE TAPS ON THE TAPE RECORDER, AND IT DROPS TO THE FLOOR WITH A CLATTER.]

BENJI: [FAINTLY] Oh, crap. Hope that’s not broken.

[A SHUFFLE CAN BE HEARD BEFORE THE TAPE RECORDER GETS PICKED UP AND SET BACK DOWN ON A CARDBOARD BOX]

BENJI: [INTO MIC] Well, anyway, my name is Benji, and-

DAN: No, no, I think you need to say your full name.

BENJI: Right. My name is Benjamin Blackbriar, and I… Dan, this is stupid. It’s not like they’re bound tobelieve me or anything, and I feel dumb talking into this strange old tape recorder.

DAN: Benj, just trust me.

BENJI: Oh, fine. My name is Benjamin Blackbriar, and I saw the Earth eat my sister. See? It sounds stupid.

DAN: Come on, please. They’ll believe you. I bet they’ve seen weirder with their own eyes.

BENJI: No, they’re definitely gonna say that I was hallucinating and it was just some weird sinkhole or something, and they’re gonna try and put me in a locked ward when I just need to find her, and then time might run out, and then she’ll be gone, and I don’t-

DAN: Woah, woah Benji, calm down. We’re gonna find her. I’m pretty sure that they can help.

[BENJI SIGHS]

BENJI: I’m sorry, but I’m not gonna spend what little time I have left to find Lizzie talking into a beat-up old tape recorder sitting on a cardboard box. This is pointless.

DAN: Benji-

[THERE ARE SOUNDS OF SHUFFLING AND SOMEONE STANDING UP]

BENJI: Goodbye, Dan.

[FOOTSTEPS RECEDE, AND DAN SIGHS]

DAN: [INTO MIC] Fine, I’ll tell you. For the record, my name is Daniel Whittier and the date is the tenth of April, 2016. So, basically, Benji and his sister, Elizabeth Blackbriar were on their morning hike, I think it was about 6:00-6:30 in the morning, early, I know, and I think they were on the Hampstead Heath trail near their apartments? Anyway, according to Benji, Lizzie decided to stop for a quick breather before continuing, but she told Benji that he could go on ahead, so he did. After about ten minutes or so, she hadn’t caught up with him, and he decided that he would, you know, go back and find her, cause he was getting kind of worried.

Well, when he got back to where she was, she wasn’t there, and since he didn’t see her on his way back, he started getting more worried. I think this is when he video called me, and he started rambling about how this wasn’t like Lizzie. He stopped pretty suddenly, though. His eyes went wide and he started swivelling his head around like a fuckin’ madman, calling out for Lizzie. He said he heard screaming, and from the look on his face, it seemed like it was Lizzie’s. I didn’t hear anything, mind you, but the phone didn’t exactly have the best microphone, so it might’ve been that.

I was honestly starting to get a little worried for him, but I was mainly worried about Lizzie. I had known both of them since before grade school, and Lizzie had always been the more, how do I put this? Protective? Assertive? I dunno, but she had always looked after Benji, and would definitely not abandon her little brother on a hike like this. And if he was hearing screaming… I couldn’t help but think something was horribly, horribly wrong. And I was right.

Benji ran off, I’m assuming towards the screaming, and I was trying to tell him that I was gonna call the cops, that he didn’t need to put himself in danger too, but he wouldn’t listen, and, even though all I could see was his face, I could tell when he found her. His face went pale and he screamed her name, turning around the camera to show an empty patch of dirt. He didn’t seem to think it was just dirt, though. He knelt down to the ground and started digging at the dirt frantically, and eventually he found what looked like a blank page torn out of a really old book? I don’t really know what it was, but the paper was this sort of yellowish colour and the edges looked frayed, like it was from one of those books you find in old libraries or something. 

When Benji eventually got back to the apartment - I was there cause I’ve been staying with them while I look for a place to live - he said that this pitch-black hole in the Earth had appeared and swallowed up Lizzie and spat out the paper. He handed it to me, and there were words on it that I hadn’t seen over the phone. There was what looked like an address, a date and time, and the words “Liber Saltus”, whatever that means. I have the paper here with me, and I would give it to you with this recording, but Benji’s been weirdly protective of it, and the words don’t show up in photos, so I can’t give you a picture of it.

Anyway, I remembered that my aunt, Erin Whittier, had talked to you guys about the weird man she’d been seeing around and you guys had listened to her, so I thought that I’d have Benji talk to you and, well, you know how well that worked. Oh, I almost forgot. The date on the paper is for the eleventh of April, which is tomorrow, the time is midnight, and the address is for some place called “Carmen Books and Records”. So, yeah, we’re kind of running out of time, especially since we don’t know what the hell “Liber Saltus” means or where Carmen Books and Records is. That’s why I’m reaching out to you. So, yeah, if you could help us, preferably before midnight, that would be great. Erm, bye.

[THERE’S A PAUSE BEFORE A BUTTON ON THE TAPE RECORDER CLICKS AND THE TAPE WHIRRING NOISE ENDS BEFORE STARTING AGAIN WITH ANOTHER CLICK, HEAVY BREATHING ABLE TO BE HEARD OVER THE SOUND OF POUNDING FOOTSTEPS]

DAN: [OUT OF BREATH] Okay, so things may have developed a little bit. Remember when Benji left? Yeah, well, that was 3 hours ago, and he hasn’t picked up a single phone call since then. I’ve left so many voice messages that his voicemail box filled up after hour 1, and the GPS on his phone went dead and his calls started going straight to voicemail a few minutes ago. I’m really freaking out, and since Benji took the car when he left, I’m stuck running to your institute thing, which is over a 2 hour walk. Hopefully I get there before midnight comes, because I have a feeling that whatever took Lizzie got Benji too. I don’t know if it’s going to come for me too, or why it even took Benji before midnight, but, right now, I’m pretty sure that my only chance at getting the two of them back is going to you guys. I’m going to end the recording now so I can focus on running, but I wanted to add this to the record in case it takes me too.

[A BUTTON ON THE TAPE RECORDER CLICKS AND THE TAPE WHIRRING NOISE ENDS BEFORE ANOTHER CLICK, THIS ONE ECHOING AS IF IN A VOID. THE ONLY THING THAT CAN BE HEARD IS SOME STATIC AND WHISPERS UNLIKE ANY KNOWN LANGUAGE, DEAD OR ALIVE. A SCREAM PIERCES THE STATIC AND WHISPERS BEFORE THERE IS A WHOOSHING SOUND FOLLOWED BY A CLATTER AND THEN SOUNDS OF TAPE WHIRRING AND A BUSTLING STREET, FILLED WITH VOICES AND FOOTSTEPS. A SET OF FOOTSTEPS GET PROGRESSIVELY LOUDER AND LOUDER BEFORE SOMEONE PICKS UP THE TAPE RECORDER. A DOOR CAN BE HEARD BEING OPENED, AND THE PERSON CARRYING THE TAPE ENTERS THE BUILDING. THE CITY SOUNDS FADE AWAY, LEAVING ONLY THE FOOTSTEPS. AFTER A FEW SECONDS OF ONLY THE SOUND OF THE FOOTSTEPS, ANOTHER DOOR CAN BE HEARD OPENING. A CHAIR CAN BE HEARD FAINTLY SWIVELLING AROUND, PRESUMABLY TO FACE THE DOOR]

JON: Martin? What’s going on?

MARTIN: Did you drop something outside?

JON: What? No, why?

MARTIN: Well, I found this on the ground in front of the door to the building, and it has your name on it, and I’m pretty sure you use this kind of thing for the recordings, so I thought…

JON: Hold on, give it to me.

MARTIN: Oh, alright, erm, here you go.

[THERE ARE THE SOUNDS OF A SHUFFLING AS IF SOMEONE IS PASSING THE TAPE RECORDER TO SOMEONE ELSE. AFTER A SECOND OF THE RECORDER BEING TURNED AROUND IN SOMEONE’S HANDS, THE VOICES CONTINUE SPEAKING]

JON: I’ve never seen this before in my life. Where did you say you found it again?

MARTIN: Right outside the door. I almost stepped on it, and-

JON: Hold on a second, I think it’s recording.

[A BUTTON CLICKS, AND THE TAPE WHIRRING NOISE ENDS. THE BUTTON CLICKS AGAIN A MOMENT LATER, WITH THE TAPE WHIRRING NOISE RESUMING]

JON: Statement ends. After careful listening, I am inclined to think that this tape is a fake. Although I cannot decipher the language that the whispers are in during the, erm, how do I put this, intermission, it could very well be gibberish. As Benjamin said, the entire story sounds absurd. The ground eating someone? [SCOFFS] I am hesitant to believe a single word on this tape, as it all seems to be nothing more than some elaborate prank. There was a dark green substance on the tape recorder, clearly meant to be some sort of ectoplasm. I didn’t touch it, obviously, and I sent Martin to analyse it. He should have the results any-

[A KNOCK CAN BE HEARD THROUGH THE DOOR, AND JON SIGHS]

JON: There he is. Come in, Martin.

[THE DOOR OPENS AND FOOTSTEPS ENTER THE ROOM]

MARTIN: Oh, ok, well, the results came back for the tape, and you were right. It’s obviously not ectoplasm, I mean, the colour is all wrong, but it does seem to be something else. I think… I think it’s alive.

JON: [HARSHLY, WITH A SLIGHT NOTE OF FEAR IN HIS VOICE] What? Martin, are you sure?

MARTIN: [FRANTICALLY] Yes! Even the air around it felt very, very hot, and when I touched it - Yes, yes I know, stupid of me - it burned, but not like a fire burns. Almost like it was eating me, like it was acid and it was melting my skin or something, and I was only touching it for a second, but when I pulled my finger away, there was this red spot on my finger that felt like it was still on fire, so I washed it with cold water and now it doesn’t burn anymore, but my finger is still red, and-

JON: [FORCEFULLY] Martin?

MARTIN: [CONFUSED] What?

JON: [SLOWLY] Where is it?

MARTIN: I left it in the lab, and-

JON: [QUIETLY, VOICE FILLED WITH BARELY-CONCEALED TERROR] Shit. [INTO MIC, SOMEWHAT FRANTICALLY] End recording.

[A BUTTON ON THE TAPE RECORDER CLICKS, AND THE TAPE WHIRRING NOISE ENDS]

#the magnus archives #jon/martin #tma #the magnus archives fanfic #tma fanfic #ao3 #fanfic #fanfiction

[assbutt-writes]

A Heart Of Iron Chapter 32

Chapter below cut

Tony

Tony is floating in a void that has a faint yellow glow, the same one he's been in every time that he's fallen asleep on the planet. He sees vague shapes, some of which he recognizes, some of which he doesn't. Among them, he sees Loki and Odin, their features blurred out but still recognizable. Every time he looks at them, he feels a wave of hatred crash over him, overwhelming all of his other feelings toward them. He hates these people. They are stuck-up, self-absorbed, and they will stop at nothing to get what they want.

Kosto appears, face clear and easily recognizable, and a wave of trust washes over him. This man is good. He knows what to do, and he is trustworthy. He understands what Tony is going through, and he will help Tony get revenge on the people who hurt him. He's been exactly where Tony is, so he knows exactly what Tony needs to do to feel better.

Every time a part of Tony feels happy toward Loki or uneasy about Kosto, a searing pain shoots through his head, wiping the thought from his mind. He soon figures out that those thoughts are bad and that he shouldn't have them, so he tries his hardest not to. Soon, he's all but forgotten any good memories that he's had with Loki, all of the happiness he had felt while around the other man overwritten with distrust and hatred.

All of his memories with Loki start to appear, him and Loki playing Mario Kart, them watching Star Wars and Supernatural together, Loki showing him his true form, him getting out of the wheelchair and Loki helping him regain his balance after the first time he stumbled, and when they kissed first, but instead of feeling happy or content when he sees them, he feels uneasy, knowing that he can't trust Loki and feeling furious at the other man for toying with him.

After all of the memories are finished, the yellow light starts to dim and be replaced by a red one, still hints of yellow at the edges, and a vision starts up.

Kosto is in the Asgardian palace, wearing Asgardian ceremonial robes with his hair slightly shorter and much neater than it was when Tony saw him in the cave, standing in front of the throne. Odin is smiling down at him, and Kosto is smiling, too. Tony suddenly knows that this is the ceremony where Kosto will become a god and eat one of Idun's apples to grant him immortality. Odin usually would never bestow godhood to a svartalf, but after showing immense bravery and strength, both of the body and the mind, Odin is making an exception.

"I now declare you Kosto, god of wrath and personal battles, the patron god of all those who seek revenge," Odin says motioning for Idun to give Kosto one of her apples.

She does, and as Kosto takes a bite of it, he can feel power surging through his body. He smiles, searching the crowd for Loki, who is watching the ceremony in fond amazement. The ceremony finishes, and Kosto goes to find Loki to celebrate. When he does, he walks over to him and moves to kiss him, but Loki redirects the kiss into a hug.

"I'm sorry," Loki whispers regretfully. "I can't risk Odin seeing, not right now. He could remove both of our godhoods and my claim to the throne."

Kosto's face falls, all of the joy sucked out of the moment. This is supposed to be the best day of his life, and he can't even kiss his boyfriend.

"Yeah. I get it," he says quietly, and Loki squeezes him tighter.

"I love you. You do know that, right?" Loki says, and Kosto puts on a fake smile. He's gotten pretty used to this lately, pretending to be okay with Loki not wanting to tell Odin about them.

"Yeah," Kosto says, but in his head he's screaming "No! You don't! If you loved me, you'd actually consider the fact that I don't want to hide and you would stop this stupid charade!"

"I love you too."

After that, Kosto goes up to his room and cries, the day ruined.

Tony woke up, taking in his surroundings. He was still in the cave, and Kosto was working on the contraption they were making out of the suit that Tony was wearing when he fell. It was supposed to help them harness the power of Tony's pendant using the arc reactor to power the contraption and Tony's connection to it to direct it. At the moment, though, it was just a haphazard pile of wires with the arc reactor in the center, but, slowly but surely, they were making progress.

"You're up!" Kosto said hearing Tony get up off of the path of the ground that they had made into a 'bed'. Tony was the only one who used it, though. Kosto didn't need to sleep, being a svartalf, which Tony knew from his Norse mythology lessons meant that he was essentially a dark elf.

Tony was walking over to the workbench they had made out of a few boulders when a sandstorm started to blow into the cave. Kosto managed to get behind the shelter that he had made, but Tony was too slow and got caught in the sand. Noticing that Tony wasn't there, Kosto ran out to him and dragged him behind the shelter, saving Tony from being buried. Once he got to safety, Tony started to cough out the sand that had gotten down his throat, feeling like he was suffocating.

Kosto went over to the filtration system they had made out of part of Tony's suit and got him some water to help him clear his throat, and, when he gave it to him, Tony practically inhaled it, eager for relief from the pain that the sand was causing. When Tony stopped coughing, they both slumped back against the shelter, Tony filled with a renewed sense of hatred toward Loki. After all, if Loki had been quicker, if he had actually been fighting who he was supposed to, then Tony wouldn't be here, suffocating on sand and sleeping on a bed of rocks. Once he got off this wasteland, Tony was going to get his revenge.

#frostiron #loki #loki/tony #loki/tony stark #tony stark #tony/loki #ao3 #fanfiction #loki laufeyson

[assbutt-writes]

A Heart Of Iron Chapter 31

Chapter below cut

Loki

In the 3 months without Tony, Loki had left his room 5 times. Once to go to Valhalla to try and get him back, once to try and interact with the others (that one went so badly that he just slept through the next few days), and 3 times to get more beer. The floor was littered with all of the empty beer cans and he was pretty sure that he looked like shit, but he didn't care. After all, Tony was gone, so why should he?

Steve kept knocking at his door, but Loki ignored him. During the first few days, the others kept blowing up his phone with texts and calls, but when it died, he "forgot" to charge it. After 1 month, Steve had thought he had died and barged in to check on him, finding Loki drunk-talking to an illusion of Tony, either not noticing or not caring that Steve had just entered the room. Steve had quietly backed out, and no one had entered the room since then.

Loki spent most of those months drunk, and, during some of his more sober moments, Loki had JARVIS give him updates on the other Avengers so that he could write letters to Tony. In doing this, he learned that Bucky had woken up, not remembering anything after he fell off of the train, his brain still stuck in 1945. Steve had to tell him that his sister Becca had died of old age 4 years ago. Bucky's reaction had sent Loki into another spiral, the reminder of the fact that Tony was gone too much to bear. The next thing he remembered, he was waking up in another hospital bed, Natasha standing over him, a worried look on her face.

"Loki, what the fuck? I know you know that drinking yourself to death isn't helping you at all, so why the fuck are you doing it? I mean, you do know that-" Natasha lectured, and Loki cut her off.

"That Tony wouldn't have wanted this? Yeah, well, Tony's gone, so he doesn't really get a say," Loki said bitterly. "And who are you to tell me what to do with my life? Last I checked we weren't friends, and the only reason that we even kept talking to each other was Tony, and he's not here anymore, so I don't really get why you care."

"I care about you because I know what you're going through. I've been brainwashed into doing horrible things against my will, I've lost everyone I've ever cared about, and I've-" Natasha said softly, and Loki got even more upset.

"Have you watched the only two people you've ever loved go in front of you in the exact same way and not been able to do anything about it? Have you had some mystical force try to warn you about it but you ignored it and made the one you loved leave? Have you had someone trust you with their life and fail them? Because I have," Loki said forcefully, and Natasha backed away.

"I didn't know. I'm sorr-'' Natasha started before realizing something. "Wait. You knew what was going to happen to Tony? Why didn't you tell anyone?"

"I thought it was just a vision of an alternate universe. I didn't know that it could come true here too," Loki explained defensively. "I was going into Tony's mind to heal him after the vision that almost killed him, and the stone showed me an alternate universe where we were soulmates and Thanos stabbed him and threw him off of the bridge. I didn't think it was important because it was pretty damn obvious that it wasn't this universe, because me and Tony aren't soulmates here."

Natasha stepped back slightly, and Loki realized belatedly that that came out a little more forceful than he meant it to. Oh, well. She was already going to be pissed at him for letting Tony leave, so what's one more reason to hate him?

"Oh," she said quietly, and then her face melted into a look of concern. "You do know that it's not your fault, right? Maybe you should've told someone about the vision, but, as you said, it didn't seem important. It's not your fault that you didn't know."

"No. Every other fucking vision had a purpose, and this one was an entire life story! I should've known, and I should've fucking told someone!" Loki said, volume building until he was practically yelling. He couldn't see how someone could honestly think that Tony being gone wasn't his fault, because, honestly, he always manages to either hurt the ones he loves or get them to leave forever. "You don't understand. There is no fucking way you could ever understand. If all you're going to do here is tell me lies to try to make me feel better, it's not working, so you can go."

Natasha looked at him with a look that he knew meant that she felt bad for him, and honestly, that just made him feel worse. He didn't need pity, or false reassurances, or to "move on". He just needed Tony.

#frostiron #loki #loki/tony #loki/tony stark #tony stark #tony/loki #ao3 #fanfiction #loki laufeyson #tw alcohol abuse

[assbutt-writes]

Starting the Stream Chapter 3

Chapter below cut

Wade

Once the two got home, they had started talking about where to go. They walked in the house, and the second they got inside, Wade called out for Peter, but there wasn’t a response. He went inside, calling again, but, yet again, Peter didn’t respond. When he got closer to the room, he still didn’t get a response, and he knocked on the door frantically.

“Peter? Pete, are you okay?” he asked, voice shaking.

There wasn’t any response. He tried the door handle, but it was locked. He took the key that Peter had given him for emergencies and tried unlocking the door, his hands shaking so badly that it took 10 tries for him to get the key in the lock. When he did, he saw Peter lying on the bed, his face pale and his eyes closed. Shit. Wade quickly walked over to the bed and shook Peter.

“Peter! Peter, wake up,” he said, tears starting to form in his eyes. He couldn’t lose Peter, he couldn’t. “Ellie, call 911! Pete, you’ve got to wake up! Please!”

He moved over to the bed, trying to remember how to check for a pulse. Once he figured it out and confirmed that Peter was still alive, he started trying to remember what to do. He vaguely remembered something about a recovery position that he learned about in the first-aid course he took a while back, and he started trying to do what he remembered, trying to ignore how cold Peter’s hands felt. Once he got Peter into the position, he pulled out his phone and started to google what he needed to do next. Right as he opened the first article, Ellie came running into the room.

“Dad, they want to talk to you,” she said, handing the phone to him.

“Hello?” Wade asked, voice shaking.

“Hello, is this Wade?” the operator asked, and Wade nodded, not remembering that she couldn’t see him.

“Yes, this is him,” he said shakily.

“My name’s Maddie. Can you tell me how old Peter is?” Maddie said calmly, which only upset Wade more. How could this woman be so calm when Wade’s best friend might have been dying?

“He’s 32,” Wade said.

“Okay. Is he breathing?” she asked, and there was that calm voice again.

“How can you be so fucking calm?” Wade asked angrily. “My best friend is dying and you’re acting as if nothing’s wrong!”

“Sir, I need you to answer my question so that I can help him. Is he breathing?” she asked again.

“Yes,” Wade snapped.

“Okay. I’m going to need you to put him in the recovery position. Do you know what that is?” she asked.

“I already did that,” Wade said.

“Okay. Do you know what happened?” she asked, and Wade let out a sigh of frustration.

“No! I left to pick up my daughter, and when I came back he was locked in his room, and when I got in, he was lying on the bed unconscious and really pale,” Wade said.

“Is there a pill bottle anywhere near him, or any pill bottles that he could've gotten?” she asked, and god, what was she trying to say?

“Are you trying to say that Peter tried to kill himself? Because he just got a record deal and was so damn happy. He wouldn't do that,” Wade spat out and the woman sighed.

“Sir, please answer my questions so I can know how to best help him,” she said, a hint of frustration in her voice.

Wade looked around the bed, not finding any.

“There are no fucking pill bottles,” he snapped at the woman on the other end of the line. “Look, how long is it going to take for the ambulance to get here?”

“They’re almost there, sir. Just hold on,” she said.

A few long minutes later, a team of medics came rushing into the room.

“Sir, please step aside,” one of them said, and Wade moved away from Peter.

They checked his vitals and put him on the stretcher, and Wade tried to follow them. One of them turned and tried to tell him to move away from them, but he felt his expression harden.

“I’m the only thing anywhere close to family that he has, and apart from my daughter, he’s the only family I have. I can’t- I have to- I’m not-” Wade said, starting to stumble over his words trying to express how much he was not going to let Peter be alone right now.

The medic looked at him with a soft look in her eyes, and she nodded her head.

“Okay,” she said quietly, and he started to follow the paramedics, the one that had let him come with him making sure that he was able to go with them into the ambulance. Only once he got in there did he fully realize that this might be it. Peter might die, and he couldn’t do anything to stop it.

#spideypool #spiderman #deadpool #wade wilson #peter parker #ao3 #fanfiction

[assbutt-writes]

Starting the Stream Chapter 2

Chapter below cut

By the end, the viewer count on the stream had almost doubled and both of their Twitters, mostly Spidey’s, though, were blowing up with mentions and dms. They quickly said goodbye, and when the streams ended, they both let out a sigh of relief.

“I almost don’t want to check Twitter,” Spidey joked, and Wade shook his head even though he knew the other man couldn’t see him.

“It was great,” Wade said emphatically. “The chat was spamming compliments and asking if it was on streaming yet, everyone on Twitter was getting people to join, and the viewer count nearly doubled. They love you, Spides.”

Tell him, Wade

No.

Why not?

This is Spidey’s moment. Not mine. Now shut up.

“Are you sure? I mean, what if they were just coming on to the stream to laugh at me?” Spidey said, and Wade let out a little snort.

“Spidey, I can assure you, they loved it just as much as I did, which is to say, a whole lot. Check Twitter. Trust me,” Wade said, and he could hear Spidey take a deep breath of anticipation.

“Here goes nothing,” Spidey muttered. Then there was silence that was only broken up by the sounds of a keyboard clicking. “Oh my god.”

“Spidey? What is it?” Wade asked, mind racing.

“You were right. They loved it!” Spidey said excitedly, and Wade let out a sigh of relief.

“See? What’d I tell you?” Wade said, and Spidey let out a relieved laugh.

“It’s just, I’ve never really shared any of my songs with anyone before. I can’t believe they liked it,” Spidey said, and Wade smiled.

“I can.”

Ooh, Wade’s in looove!

“Shut it.”

Oops. “That was out loud wasn’t it?” he said, cringing.

“Yeah,” Spidey laughs. “Yellow again?”

“Yup,” Wade said sheepishly. Sometimes he forgot that Yellow, as he had taken to calling it, was just in his head, and it could get pretty embarrassing when he had a slip-up like that. “Anyways, what I was saying was, I would honestly be surprised if any of them didn’t like it. You’re amazing, Spides. I’m almost positive they see it too.”

“See it too?” Wow, you’re down bad.

Not. Now.

“Hold on, I’m getting a message. One sec,” There was a pause before Spidey gasped loudly. “Holy shit. DP, I have to go. Oh my g-” Spidey said, before leaving the call mid-sentence.

Wade quickly messaged him to ask if he was alright, to which the other man responded with a thumbs-up emoji and a wide-eyed smile. Wade let out a little laugh before he stood up off of his chair, stretched his arms, and made his way out to his kitchen. There he ran into his roommate Peter, who was practically vibrating with excitement.

“What’s up?” Wade asked.

“Ipostedmysongandigotarecorddealohmygodithinkimgoingtopassoutthisissocool,” Peter rambled, and Wade held up his hands.

“Hold on, slow down. You what?” Wade said, utterly confused.

“You know that song that I’ve been writing?” Peter said, and Wade nodded.

“Yeah?” Wade asked.

“I posted it today, and I got a record deal! People actually like it!” Peter said, practically jumping up and down he was so excited.

“Really? That’s great, Pete!” Wade said, and, while he was sad he wouldn’t be able to hear the song, he understood why Peter wasn’t showing it to him. He knew firsthand how much people want to keep their online lives anonymous and personal lives private, and that included not telling best friends. Hell, he hadn’t told Peter about him being Deadpool yet, and he wasn’t planning on doing it anytime soon either.

“Yeah! I’m so excited!” Peter said smiling, and he did a little jump in the air, but the second he did his face went pale and he quickly moved to a chair and sat down in it. “Woah, not gonna do that again.”

“You okay?” Wade asked, and Peter waved him off.

“Yeah, just a little lightheaded,” Peter said

Wade was about to push further, but just then his phone started ringing, and he looked down. It was Ellie’s school.

“Hello?” Wade asked, answering the call.

“Is this Mr. Wade Wilson?” the woman on the other end of the line asked.

“This is him. What’s wrong?” he asked, starting to worry.

“Your daughter Eleanor got in a fight. You’re going to need to pick her up,” the woman said, and shit.

“I understand. I’ll be there in 10 minutes,” Wade said, hanging up the phone. “Shit. I have to go. Ellie got into another fight.”

“Okay. I’m gonna go back to my room for a bit. Knock if you need me,” Peter said, a smile still evident on his face.

“Will do. See you later,” Wade said, mind starting to wander.

Ellie hadn’t gotten into a fight in almost 2 years, so why was she suddenly getting into one now? It was coming up on- Shit. It was coming up on the anniversary of Lexi leaving, and Wade knew how much that always affected Ellie. He should’ve been more on top of things instead of being caught up with his streaming. He knew he hadn’t been the best dad in the world, having to try and deal with highschool and raising a newborn by himself. He knew that he had relied a lot on Peter during those days, to the point of Ellie seeing him almost as a second dad, but that Ellie never really saw him as an authority figure, and honestly kind of saw him as a big brother.

He quickly walked down to his car and got in, driving to Ellie’s school. When he got there, he froze at the sight of Ellie sitting in front of the nurse’s office with a bloody nose and a black eye. He hurried over to her, and when she saw him, her tear-streaked eyes widened.

“Dad! Look, I promise this isn’t what it seems like. Ryan was starting to make fun of me and the fact that Mom left, and Alexis stepped in to start yelling at him, and then he punched her, so I punched him, and then-” Ellie rambled, a tear starting to roll down her cheek.

“Look, Ellie, I get it. I’ll figure this out. Are you okay?” Wade asked worriedly.

“Yeah, I guess so. I mean, you should see the other guy,” she said, cracking a small smile.

“Where is he?” Wade asked, Yellow shouting things like "I wanna punch a child", which Wade was starting to kind of agree with. Ellie had been doing so good, and this complete jackass of a teenager had to come along and run all of her progress with one stupid little comment. Wade could feel his hands start to curl into tight fists, and when Ellie noticed, she reached out a hand and laid it on his shoulder.

“I know what you and Yellow are probably thinking, but it’s taken care of. He has a week-long suspension, and they moved him so we won’t have any classes together. And the teacher saw everything, so the school knows I was just defending Alexis. It’s okay,” she said, and Wade let out a little laugh.

“You know, I should be saying that to you,” Wade said, laughing. “Since they’re sending you home anyway, how about we go and get ice cream with Pete?”

“Yeah!” Ellie said, perking up slightly.

#spideypool #spiderman #deadpool #wade wilson #peter parker #ao3 #fanfic

[assbutt-writes]

A Heart Of Iron Chapter 30

Chapter below cut

Tony

Tony had eventually caved in and gone with Kosto to his camp, keeping his armor on when he entered the cave that the other man was staying in. Months passed, Tony never seeming to get hungry or thirsty. Eventually, he noticed what seemed to be writing on the walls in Old Norse. It was hard to read, but he could make out some words like "revenge", "bridge", and a word that was scratched out that looked something like "Loki Odinson". That had to have been a mistake.

"What does that say?" he asked carefully, pointing at the name.

"The name of the guy who's the reason I'm here," Kosto said flippantly.

"Loki Odinson?" Tony asked warily, and Kosto nodded.

"Yup. We were fighting and I got pushed off of the Bifrost. I'm assuming something similar happened to you?" he said.

"Something like that," Tony said, before realizing something. "You said that Loki's the reason why you're here?"

"Yeah. Why, did he 'forget' to mention me?" Kosto said, putting air quotes around "forget" and rolling his eyes.

"Why would he have mentioned you?" Tony asked, starting to rethink everything he thought he knew about Loki.

"Oh, I dunno, maybe because we were supposed to get married," Kosto said sarcastically, and Tony was instantly taken aback.

"Wait, what?" Tony said, completely shocked. Loki hadn't even hinted at an ex, and now here he was finding out that not only did Loki have an ex, but he was an ex fiance that Loki probably thought was dead.

"Yeah. He cared way more about becoming king of Asgard than he ever did about being with me, and when Odin gave him an ultimatum, marry me or become king, well, I think we both know what he chose," Kosto said bitterly, and Tony took a step back.

"That can't be true. I mean, the Loki I know wouldn't do that," he shook his head.

"Would he? I mean, this is Loki we're talking about. 'God of mischief, king of lies', or so he used to call himself. Can you really trust him?" Kosto said, and Tony thought about it. It was true that Loki was supposed to be the ultimate liar and, while Tony thought that Loki was trustworthy, that could all be an elaborate ruse.

The pendant started glowing a bit brighter and Tony had the sudden realization that no. Loki couldn't be that bad. Tony knew him, and, honestly, he was being a bad whatever-they-were by believing this complete stranger over the person that he had grown to love and knew better than anyone else. The light dimmed again, and Tony could've sworn he saw a glow in Kosto's eyes, but it was gone as soon as it came.

"I mean, his entire title is literally 'Loki Odinson, god of mischief, lies, and trickery'," Kosto continued, seemingly oblivious to what Tony had just been thinking. "Can you really trust someone whose entire personality is lying?"

"It's Laufeyson," Tony muttered, unsure what to believe.

Kosto laughed. "So he told you that one, too. Gods, I can't believe him sometimes. Let me guess, he 'showed you his true form' too."

Tony froze.

"Yeah, that one was always his favorite. He has this illusion that he made that looks like a Jotun, and he used to trick all of the other kids with it. I can't believe he's still using that one. I thought he had grown out of it, to be honest," Kosto said, and, when he noticed Tony's expression, his face seemed to shift into a look of pity. "Hey, it's not your fault. He does this to everyone."

That made Tony's blood go cold. At least before he could have thought that Loki was doing it to impress him in his own way, but now, did this mean that he never even liked Tony in the first place? That Tony had been just a pawn in some scheme or worse, just a toy to play with?

Understanding seemed to fall over Kosto's face. "You thought he loved you. Oh, Tony, I'm so sorry. You don't deserve that."

"It's fine. I mean, I don't know. I'll live," Tony said halfheartedly, not even believing it himself.

"Tony, I get it. What you're feeling is completely okay. If you want to let it out, I can-" Kosto said, and Tony shook his head, anger starting to color his features.

"No. Right now, all I need to do is get off this damn wasteland and..." Tony trailed off, not knowing how to put into words what he needed to do to the man who had played with his emotions so carelessly.

"I get it. If you want to get out of here, let's see what we can do with that necklace you have," Kosto said, and Tony handed it to him, the other man almost dropping it when he touched it. "Damn, that's powerful. Do you know what it does?"

"It gives me visions of other universes. I even was able to interact with the last one it showed me," Tony said, and a smile started to spread over Kosto's face, something that should've made Tony want to run and hide, but instead filled him with a sense of reassurance. Kosto could get them off of the planet, and then he would finally have his revenge.

"I can definitely work with that," Kosto grinned.

#frostiron #loki #loki/tony #loki/tony stark #tony stark #tony/loki #ao3 #fanfiction #loki laufeyson

[assbutt-writes]

All I Want

Pairing - Gregory House/James Wilson

Word Count - 3,241

Fic below break

It had been eleven years. Eleven years had passed since House had bailed him out of jail, and James Wilson was completely screwed. To be honest, he probably should’ve known that when his heart felt like it stopped when the person who confronted House on the street called them closet cases, should’ve know it when felt sick to his stomach with what he had thought was worry when Stacy came back, should’ve know it when he nearly screamed with frustration when he heard that House and Stacy had kissed. Now that he did know it, though, he didn’t know what he was going to do.

He’d never been good at this sort of thing, having to act casual around someone who held your entire heart in the palm of their hand without knowing. He knew that, even in the one-in-a-million chance that House did like him back, there was no telling what Cuddy would do, and he didn’t know if he would be willing to take that risk, at least not for House. Getting himself fired was one thing, but getting House fired? Wilson didn’t think he would be able to live with himself if that happened. But he did know one thing. He was not going to let Stacy fuck House up again. So, here he was, walking toward her office, seething as he burst through the door.

“What the hell did you do? Were you really just that cold and lonely?” he said, and Stacy sighed.

“Of course he told you, he’s an 8-year-old boy,” she said flippantly, and fuck. Didn’t she know how much her leaving had screwed up House? He was already so fucking vulnerable, and to have her leave… God, he was scared to find out how much that would break him.

“Hey, you’re the one who kissed him!” he said forcefully, and Stacy looked up at him, searching his face.

“Why are you so worked up about this?” she said, a confused look on her face. He knew that he couldn’t tell her the real reason, so he quickly thought of anything to say.

“Because you’re married,” he said.

“Not to you,” she said dismissively, “This is none of your business.”

“The last time you left, I was the one left picking up the pieces! I saw firsthand how much that shit affected him, and I won’t- I can’t let that happen to him again,” Wilson said, frustration starting to build. He managed to hold himself back from shouting the words at her, but only barely.

“Oh, right, he cried himself to sleep every night. That so sounds like him,” Stacy said, voice dripping with sarcasm, and, God, he wanted to scream.

“He’s been pining for 5 years!” Wilson said, voice cracking as frustration started to turn into white-hot anger and he had to force his voice to remain steady.

“You’re being dramatic,” she said, and he could’ve sworn he heard a faint laugh in her voice.

“No, actually, I’m underplaying. This is me being restrained,” he said, trying to keep the boiling anger below the surface. Something seemed to click for Stacy, and she sat back with a look of realization.

“It was just one kiss,” she said, obviously trying to make her voice reassuring, but, God, that only made it worse.

“Are you being intentionally thick? This wasn’t just some one-night stand. You can’t just toy with him,” Wilson said, his anger turning more and more intense and all-consuming by the second.

“I’m not. If anything, he’s probably toying with me,” she said, voice softer and more sad than anything. “I don’t know what I’m doing.”

“Oh,” Wilson said, his anger too thick for him to process her words. Once he realized what she said, though, he felt like he had just been punched in the gut, and his thoughts started running as fast as the horses at those races House always went to. “Oh.”

He shakily stood up and moved to the door, feeling like there were cotton balls in his brain and a haze over the entire world, everything feeling like he was watching it happen rather than actually doing it. He heard Stacy call his name, and he felt himself turn back around to face her.

“I’m sorry,” Stacy said, and for a second, Wilson froze. She couldn’t know, could she? “I never meant to hurt him. I guess I just thought that him seeing me would make things worse, so I just…”

“It’s okay,” Wilson said, feeling like his entire world was crashing down around him. He shakily left the room, feeling himself go to his office and lock the door, a million thoughts and emotions all swirling around in his head.

This was it. House and Stacy would get back together, and either things would work out and he would be forced to watch the man he loved be with someone else, or they wouldn’t, and he would have to watch as the hurt of it broke House into a million pieces, Wilson forced to watch without being able to do anything to help. He laid his head down on the desk, and started to cry.

He wasn’t sure how long he had been there when he heard the door to his balcony open. He looked up, trying to blink the tears from his eyes as he focused on the blurry figure of House, standing in the doorway, his face colored with a mixture of confusion and concern. The expression was gone as soon as it appeared, though, replaced with a carefully blank expression.

“Let me guess, you’ve just now realized that you’re hopelessly in love with me and are crying in your locked room like a 14-year-old girl?” House said sarcastically, and, God, that stung. He knew that it was just House being House and trying to lighten his mood with a joke, but the fact that he was right felt like a punch to the gut.

He forced out a watery laugh, though, playing it off as if it was just another joke. “Yeah, you wish.”

An expression of wry self-loathing crossed over House’s face, the smirk melting into a more self-deprecating one, but when Wilson moved to speak up, the expression was gone again, replaced with that damn smug smirk.

“Then why are you crying in your office with the door locked like a 14-year-old girl?” House asked, ever the prying bastard.

“Look, House, I’m fine. Why did you come here in the first place? It must’ve been important if you decided to break in through the balcony,” Wilson said, trying to change the subject.

“In my defense, I knocked at least 5 times before I decided to use the balcony,” House said indignantly. Wilson rolled his eyes, and he sighed. “Cameron, Chase, and Foreman are going to go out to dinner and they invited me, but I really, really don’t want to have to go alone. Wanna come?”

Wilson let out a little laugh at that as he nodded his head.

“Yeah, sure. What time?” Wilson said, and House sighed in relief.

“They were saying 5, and I think they were going to go to Olive Garden” House said, and Wilson smiled.

“I’ll be there,” Wilson said, feeling a soft smile appear on his face.

**********************************

By the time 5:00 came, Wilson had managed to pull himself together so he didn’t look like a complete wreck. His eyes were still red from all the crying and his head still felt like it was stuffed with cotton balls, but he didn’t feel like he would burst into tears when he saw House, so at least there was that. He heard a knock on his door, and he stood up shakily, running a hand through his hair as he walked to the door. The person knocked again, and Wilson let out a little laugh.

“One second, House,” he said, a little smile crossing his face.

“Not House,” he heard the person say, and he could feel the smile disappear as his blood ran cold when he recognized that voice. “It’s Stacy. Look, Wilson, could you please open this door? I need to talk to you.”

Heart pounding a mile a minute, Wilson opened the door, thoughts racing almost as fast as they were when he left her office. Why was she here? She couldn’t know, right? “Stacy? What’s wrong?”

She looked at him with a weak smile on her face, her eyes obviously red from crying. “I just want to let you know that I just put in my letter of resignation, so you won’t have to worry about me hurting Greg.”

“What? Hold on, back up a bit. You’re quitting?” Wilson said, confusion replacing the fear he had been feeling.

“Yeah. I don’t think that what I’m doing here is helping. I wanted Greg to hear about it from you, though. I think that if anyone here would know how to make it not hurt for him, it would be you,” she said, a sad smile on her face. “I can tell you both really care for each other.”

“So I was right. You were just toying with him. Stacy, we both know how much you leaving hurt him last time. You can’t honestly expect me to be okay with you doing it all over again,” he said, the same white-hot anger from earlier coming back full-force.

“Somehow, I don’t think it’s going to be quite so bad this time. Just… Tell him that I’m sorry, and that it’s you. He’ll know what that means,” she said, and when he didn’t respond, she nodded half-heartedly and turned to leave. He stood in the doorway, his heart pounding and face flushed with anger as he watched Stacy walk away and House turn the corner, coming toward his office.

“Wilson! Wow, based on how red your face is, you’re either really pissed off, or you just had some of the best sex of your life. Personally, I’m hoping it’s the latter. I don’t really want to deal with a pissed-off Wilson right now. You get too cranky,” House joked, and Wilson let out a little laugh.

“You ready to go?” he said, and House nodded.

They started to walk down the hallway, the flush on Wilson’s face never fading, although he was pretty sure it wasn’t from anger anymore. Once they got to the parking lot, House started walking toward his motorcycle, and when Wilson started walking toward his car, House called him over.

“Get on,” House said simply, and Wilson shook his head. He didn’t think his heart could handle having to sit pressed up against House with his arms around the older man’s waist. “Oh, don’t be an idiot. This’ll be quicker.”

Wilson sighed and got on the motorcycle, hesitantly laying his arms around House’s waist. House let out a noise of annoyance and pulled Wilson’s arms tighter, which made the flush on Wilson’s cheeks get even darker. House started the motorcycle and drove off, and the entire time they were on the road, Wilson was hyper-aware of how close he was to House, how his chest was pressed up against House’s back, how his arms were hugged tight around the other man’s waist, how his hips were pressed up against-

Wilson mentally slapped himself. That train of thought was not helping, so he tried to think of anything but that, mind starting to wander over to what Stacy had said and how he was supposed to tell House. He eventually decided that he would pull House aside after dinner and gently tell him that Stacy was leaving, and then he would hope that Stacy was right and it wouldn’t mess him up as much as it did last time.

Once they got there and House parked the motorcycle, Wilson shakily got off of it, his face bright red. He took a second to catch his breath as House got his cane, and then the two of them walked inside, meeting up with Cameron, Foreman, and Chase.

The dinner passed by extremely quickly, Wilson not meeting House’s eyes for most of it. He had to excuse himself from the table to go to the restroom to try to get his breathing under control. The combination of the news he was carrying and his crush (God, that sounded so childish) on House made him feel like he was going to be sick. He looked in the mirror and saw that his face and the tips of his ears were still slightly flushed, and he splashed some water on his face to try and cool down. He was so focused on calming down that he didn’t hear House come up behind him, only realizing that the older man was behind him when he looked in the mirror again and saw him, which made him nearly jump out of his skin.

“Jesus, House!” Wilson said, trying to calm his racing heart.

“What’s going on? You’ve been in here for a while. Everyone else’s almost ready to go,” House said, a note of concern in his voice, and Wilson could feel his heart sink. It was almost time to tell him, and he was really dreading that.

“I’m just not feeling well. I’ll be fine,” Wilson said, knowing that he most definitely would not be fine after tonight. Neither of them would be.

“You sure, Wilson? You’re looking a little red-” House started, and Wilson could feel the moment when all of the emotions he had been holding in boiled over.

“I said I’m fine, House,” Wilson snapped, and he could see House shrink back slightly. Shit. “Sorry. It’s been a long day.”

“It’s okay,” House said, an almost gentle expression coloring his face. “Come on, let’s go.”

Wilson followed him out the door, heart pounding. He knew he needed to tell House about Stacy, so when they got out of the door, he pulled House to the side, the other man looking at him confusedly. House looked like he was going to make a joke, but when he saw the expression on Wilson’s face, he started to look nervous as well.

“Wilson? What’s going on?” House asked cautiously. The younger man took a deep breath, and started to tell House about Stacy.

“It’s Stacy. She said that she didn’t think what she was doing here was helping, so she’s resigning. She said that she’s sorry and to tell you that ‘it’s me’, and that you would know what that means. I tried to talk her out of leaving, I swear,” Wilson rambled, tripping over his words. House looked down at Wilson, an expression on his face that looked like a mixture of disbelief and awe, his mouth agape in shock.

“Wait, hold on, are you sure?” House asked. “Wilson, are you absolutely sure that’s what she said?���

“Yeah. I’m sorry,” Wilson said gravely.

“No, no, not the bit about her leaving,” House said dismissively, eyes raking over Wilson’s face as if he was searching for something. “The ‘it’s you’ bit.”

“Yeah,” Wilson said, utterly confused. A million expressions crossed House’s face before it settled on one of relief and- wait, was that happiness?

“Really?” House said, and Wilson was extremely confused now. Not that he wasn’t completely relieved that House was taking the news well, but why was House fixated on that one bit?

“House? What’s going on?” Wilson asked cautiously.

“Really, this whole time, and I never noticed it,” House asked, letting out a little laugh.

“House? Are you okay? You’re not having some kind of psychotic break, right?” Wilson asked.

“And that joke I made earlier, God, James, I’m such a dumbass,” House said, and Wilson started to freak out a little bit. House never used his first name, at least not like that, looking at him like he was the most precious thing he had ever had the chance to see.

“House, please, can you tell me what’s going on? What’s wrong?” Wilson asked, fear lacing his voice as he turned to call out to Chase, Forman, and Cameron, to get House help.

“You idiot. I like you too,” House said, almost breathlessly.

Wilson froze. House had to have been having a psychotic break. That was the only explanation. Stacy leaving had hurt him way worse than he thought it would, and now he was breaking into a million pieces, just like Wilson had thought he would.

“House?” Wilson said slowly. “What are you saying?”

“Wilson, I’m a dumbass, not an idiot. I know what I said, and I mean it,” House said, before realizing what he just said and letting out a small laugh. “Okay, that didn’t come out right, but you know what I mean. I like you, James Wilson. I have for quite a while.”

“You don’t mean that. You can’t mean that. House-” Wilson started, voice cracking with emotion.

“Oh, come on, Wilson, I knew this was coming. After all, I was the one who left her, not the other way around. Her saying that it’s you, that’s her way of telling me that you like me back,” House said, cutting him off, and Wilson felt like his entire world was being turned upside down.

“Like you back?” he asked, voice small.

“Unless she was wrong, and I just screwed things up,” House said slowly, voice filled with dawning horror.

“No, no, wait, House, trust me, it’s not that. God, it’s definitely not that. It’s just that half an hour ago I thought, well, I don’t know what I thought. I guess I thought that everything was going to change, and I was going to lose you. Now I’m finding out that, not only was I wrong, you actually like me back, and it’s not because of a psychotic break, and now I don’t know what to-” Wilson rambled.

“Kiss me,” House cut him off, and Wilson looked up at him, seeing House looking flushed and unsure of himself. “Please.”

So Wilson did, and it was everything he thought it would be and more. House’s hands shakily came up to hold his head and pull him closer, and if he didn’t feel the electricity at every point their bodies touched, he would be convinced that this wasn’t real. There was no possible way that the sarcastic, witty, amazing man that he had grown to love all these years actually liked him back and was actually kissing him back.

He heard footsteps approach, and he tried to ignore them, tried to just focus on what was probably the best moment of his life, but then the person behind House was clearing their throat, and he reluctantly pulled away, only to be greeted by the sight of a very upset-looking Chase and Foreman and a very happy-looking Cameron who seemed to be holding two-

“Oh, come on, guys, please tell me you weren’t making bets on this,” Wilson asked, a note of fond exasperation in his voice.

Cameron smiled. “Then I won’t tell you. Come on, guys, we’re needed back at the hospital.”

Wilson sighed, before reluctantly moving away from House and walking to the motorcycle. House stood there dazed before seemingly snapping back to reality and following Wilson. This time, when they got on the motorcycle, Wilson wrapped his arms around House on his own, a small smile crossing his face as he laid his head on House’s back and House started up the motorcycle and started to drive to the hospital.

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