vrenaewrites

[vrenaewrites]

CARAVAL thoughts:

FULL VIDEO HERE.

Confession: I DNFed caraval about 2 years ago. I even included this book in a video called “reading 5 star reviews of books I hate” (either screen record and insert the clip from that vid or link in the cards skip to like 6:40 or both)

 Chapter 1

We open with letters that our main character Scarlett has written to the caraval master Legend

She really wants him to come to her island but he hasn’t 

She finally gets one back with three tickets for her Tella and her fiancé 

Chapter 2

Scarlett’s feelings came in colors “urgent red of burning coals, frenzied yellow of a flapping bird’s feathers” 

She goes to tell her sister Tella and finds her making out with a dude lol 

Julian is his name 

The edges of the paper “blazed a shimmery gold, the color of magic and wishes and promises of the things to come”

Tella hates the count Scarlett is betrothed to but Scarlett wants to leave their home so bad she doesn’t care who she ends up with 

“Gods teeth!” Is the expletive…

The prize of caraval is one wish 

They have to leave the isle within 3 days which would be impossible before getting married 

Tella’s lips “shifted from broken to unbreakable” NO

Last time they left Scarlett’s dad did something terrible to her

Julian offers to smuggle them to the island for caraval on his sailor ship (pirate ship??)

“Goldenrod desire lit up inside her”

Wishes were about as real as unicorns

Their dad shows up with gloves “the shade of bruises” 

Tella accuses Scarlett of hooking up with Julian RUDE!!!!

And Julian agrees!

Ohh because the dad beats the other sister so they’re trying to protect each other by accusing each other 

Her marriage is 10 days away

Chapter 3

Her fathers perfume smelled like the color of his gloves 

Julian decides to take them off the isle for free after witnessing this 

Tella says if she leaves she will never return 

“Her world was a grand game board, and her father believed this marriage would be his penultimate move”

“More than your sisters face will bleed” is their dad assaulting them?? Did I just gloss over that when reading this the first time??

“Weather worn white archways” loved 

Governor dragna sounds like judge frollo 

Their mom disappeared 7 years ago - abandoned them 

They have priests and piety and the devil but they don’t use the BC AD calendar instead going by seasons and rulers...why

Chapter 4

She felt the lie from childhood “sneaking into her slippers and moving between her toes” no you didn’t

“A broken dock like a massive tongue jutted out to stones that reminded Scarlett if uneven teeth” 

It was nights like these she could smell the moon - I wrote taste at first and taste fits better imo

A friend tried to help them escape once and the governor drowned him for it, Tella didn’t know about this 

She meets Julian here at midnight and barters all 3 tickets to keep him from helping Tella escape 

Julian and Tella ambush her and knock her out 

Chapter 5

“A pock marked moon winked in the glass”

She has a dream about their nana telling them how legend got his name 

First of all, legend is a bad dumb name and you should feel bad about it, Stephanie Garber. Caraval is also a bad name. 

He was in love with a woman named Annalise and would perform at a coronation to earn her fathers respect, but he needed a witch to grant him a wish of talent 

He had to choose between fame and love

So his name is legend because his magic is legendary? How tf did John legend not sue over this?

“Behind her a cloud drifted over the moon, covering all but two tiny points of light, which hovered behind her silver hair like devil’s horns” love this visual 

I’m calling it now, we’re getting this flashback because somehow, the dragna sisters are related to Annalise or remind legend of Annalise and this is why Tella gets taken 

Chapter 6

She wakes up in a rowboat with Julian after 2 days which is always a good way to pass the 2 days journey it takes without having to make anything happen lol I respect it 

Julian calls her crimson instead of Scarlett - hated it then hate it now 

Trees “rose toward the sky like massive emeralds” and the waterfall “streamed down like melted peacock feathers” no it didn’t because that makes no sense 

Legends private island is called the island of dreams in Spanish 

Tella has set up a kidnapping so Scarlett can go back without getting In trouble

“The image of a purple fire breathing dragon came to mind, coating her vision with ashy shades of anxiety”

I remember stopping very shortly after this and now I remember why - I can do purple prose but DAMN 

Their mom had “vanished taking nothing with her, she disappeared like a broken star leaving the world untouched, save for the missing bits of light but no one would ever see again” Good purple prose 

We get some backstory on how her Nana was more involved after her mother left, and we get to hear again about how great her stories are, even though we just spent a chapter getting that first hand from a flashback

She barters with herself to stay only one day and then go home for her wedding 

There’s a hole in the boat so they swim but she didn’t take her dresses off so she starts to drown

“You deserve this” because of Phillippe, like hands the water pressed her down down down 

Julian saved her and cuts off her dress which she finds very intense 

Chapter 7

So much description of the snowy frosting sand pick one

I get that it’s a magical island but every descriptor up until the sand made it sound like a tropical paradise, and then suddenly the sand is snow and there’s ice and snow on the trees which were just giant emeralds so I’m confused

Because being wet and cold is more scary 

“ The snow on the rooftops rested like dust on abandoned storybooks“

A very diagon alley sitch where there are magical stores but none are open...because it’s caraval guys. They’re at the games 

They go into a clock shop where there are clothes waiting along with food roses and a note from legend 

They change and she sees awful scars on his hot muscly back 

Her dress is lame despite every YA trope about the heroine having a princess moment, that’s fun: just kidding it changed colors and shape to fit her perfect 

And Julian’s outfit is super hot 

He stole a pocket watch 

Scarlett was a pretty girl but she tried to hide it, her eyes were too honest, no one noticed girls in ugly clothes 

“Scarlet wondered if she had found a way to escape her fathers deadly games only to become a well costumed piece on a new game board” no shit Scarlett you came to the island for the game…

Also you were in such a hurry to find Tella and get into the game before it was too late and now you’re waxing poetic about how hot Julian is and how you’re hot but you don’t wanna be 

Chapter 8

“Sage shaded colors of suspicion” I really hate this device she’s using. I’ve used it to describe the colors my mind reading characters see in people's minds. But it’s like twice a book, maybe, to express extreme emotion. Not every time your feelings change. 

Some guy comes in and offers them a portal into caraval and Scarlett is like “sure thing” and Julian is like “ummm dumdum” and he leaves 

The guys like “oh you just gonna listen to that random guy?” And I’m like as opposed to you, another random guy?

He wants her voice okay Ursula 

“A passionate sky made of melting lemons and burning peaches” or say yellows and oranges…

“Until the door was no more” love this, sounds very fairy tale 

She leaves and it's like night already, she only has til midnight 

Scarlett and Julian get in by him pretending to be the count, her fiancé 

They take the path of the players, not the watchers

Chapter 9

“A panicked Vermillion moved inside of her chest as she thought of how specific legends letter had been”

Julian admits he’s played caraval before and Scarlett is like *gasp* but HELLO how did you think he knew all the shit he knew?

He keeps calling her crimson like every time he speaks to her, annoying 

“Julian’s smile turned seductive, all shameless curves and immoral promises” 

Chapter 10

“Soft golden lights licked her arms with gentle kisses of warmth”

I’m very bored when this house is supposed to be EVERYTHING

The guy who was giving them the rules says, “don’t let your eyes or feelings trick you” And then jumps off the balcony and Scarlet freaks out… He just told you not to trust what you see

Scarlett is the most annoying person

Their instructions are to get to the end by sunrise or they’ll be locked out in the streets, but she’s wasting time wanting to look for her sister - and Julian is telling her that her sister is probably staying at the same place and she doesn’t believe him despite the fact that he’s already done this game before, just trust him???

“A searing green door watched Scarlet like a glowing eye”

This just made me figure out why I don’t like that she’s using colors as an emotional device, because the main character is named after a color, and so it’s just way too many color descriptors

Julian got trapped outside noooo

Chapter 11

But it’s fine because she tells the innkeeper they’re guests of legend - which they are - and he’s let in. Great. Glad there are no stakes. They also used legends name to get the boat to the inn for free. 

The hallways in the inn “smelled like the end of the night, sweat and fading fire smoke mixed with lingering breath from words whose ghosts still haunted the air” no

Julian was “poison in an attractive bottle”

Their rooms are actually one room oops

Chapter 12

“But legend saw all during caraval”

She got a message from legend: it’s a key with tella’s name on it 

Lmao tella is having sex behind that door for sure 

“She felt five different shades of berry colored foolish” this is so stupid 

Every time something happens between tella and scar, we get a whole expository moment about how this is related to their mother or their father or the relationship between the sisters… We know. we can tell. we are not stupid.

“Warmth licking her cheek” this metaphor is too specific to keep using it

Some tattooed dude finds her - Dante - and is like “sleep in my room”

He asks her out but she declines because the count 

Damn her dress has transformed to be like see through which is why he was into her lmao 

She has a dream that legend is a creep lol

Chapter 13

Scarlett totally changes her tune re: enjoying herself 

She passes tella’s room and finds a wreck 

“Feathers covered the carnage as if a rebel Angel had gone mad” this is so dumb 

The key she got with tella’s name was a clue, that other people also got 

A pregnant girl offers to help scarlet, and a man steals scarlets favorite earrings from her mother 

Then the pregnant girl steals that stuff 

She realizes there’s a postcard in tella’s room that isn’t hers

Chapter 14

Tella only loved mermaids, and the postcard is of a castle, which was Scarlett’s thing 

The castle is a place on the isle that Julian recognizes 

Dante shows up and Julian is like hell nah 

Dante won last time Julian was here and it cost him a lot

“Shops wrapped in colors like a birthday presents, cerulean blue apricot orange saffron yellow primrose pink while the canals remained midnight dark” SHUT UP dude

This woman got like a color wheel or a color dictionary for her birthday the year she wrote this book 

Time moves fast in the castle 

What’s really annoying about this book is Stephanie Garber spends a lot of time talking about things that are boring, and one sentence on something like hummingbird-sized elephants and tigers

There’s a kissing tent and she’s like fuck yeah let’s go there

You’re engaged

Julian sees where she’s looking and is like yeah??

A tingle of periwinkle curiosity

Chapter 15

She goes into the tent of a half naked dude who could tell her fortune 

This is all very boring 

He has incense that makes people tell the truth and she admits Julian is the hottest guy ever 

She asks what’s the man she will marry really like? 

He’s not a good person 

She’s covered in only pictures he can see instead of pictures only he can see…

She had 2 questions but the way she asked used them up so she doesn’t get to ask about tella 

Chapter 16

He tells her to follow the boy with the heart made of black...obviously Dante, she thinks Julian 

She walks into a potion tent and finds an elixir of protectio

She mentions her father and feels “anise and lavender and rotting plums”

She describe the woman who works in the potion tent as having “bottle green” eyes, but this entire paragraph has the word bottle in it like 1 million times because shes describing a tent full of potions...all these colorful words you’ve used and this is where you use “bottle green”

I don’t mind the descriptor, my own eyes are bottle green, it’s very vivid, but badly placed 

She chases Julian to a decrepit garden with a fountain, and sees a glass button

She also saw a glass button in tella’s room...is this how legend spies on her? Is this where tella is being kept?

“Dreary yellow hopelessness” infected her

She sees the symbol of caraval inside the fountain and touches it, revealing a staircase 

Someone screamed as hot and bright as fire 

It’s madness tunnels 

The inn “smells of laughter and boasts laced with sweetened ale” this doesn’t make seeeeeennnnnnnnse

She finds Julian, but it’s actually Dante and he’s mean to her and she cries but it makes her mad at Julian?????? Stupid 

Chapter 17

Julian finally shows up, super bloody but he just had a head wound

She cleans him up and is getting super horny lol 

He got her earrings back!!!!!

The fire dies sending up a plume of smoke “the color of things better said in whispers” 

She tells him about the tunnels and he says legend treats his prisoners like guests 

Julian’s eyes are the color of “caramel and liquid amber lust”

He almost kisses her and then seems to wake up, leaves and “disappointment wraps around her in cool shades of forget me not blue” STOP

Chapter 18

She wakes up to white roses with red tips 

Julian is supposed to meet her but doesn’t 

A girl shows up “pretty as a watercolor and dressed as bold as a trumpet” DUDE

“Oh poor you, here you are on a magical island, and all you can think of is what you don’t have” get her!

Dante shows up and she realizes he has a black heart tattoo which DUH SCARLETT

chapter 19

The night is “brittle, crisp like the first bite of a chilled apple, smelling just as sweet with hints of burnt sugar weaving through the charcoal night air” THIS IS GOOD PURPLE PROSE! I can taste this!!!!!!!

She’s chasing Dante and finds a cider seller who’s drink will help her see things more clearly, the price is her last lie 

She drinks it and loses the color in her vision 

The game is constantly working against you?????? How?! You’ve stumbled across tons of clues without any work and there are no believable stakes to this game, this drink is the first time you’ve had a struggle…

Iko holds a journal that’s brownish green, “the color of forgotten memories, abandoned dreams, and bitter gossip”

Even in black and white we get this heavy handed color shit 

She realizes anything in color is important

She also sees the red roses on a carousel and the red cravat on a mans neck 

He makes her feel perilous shades of silky black - is Stephanie Garner an artist? Does she have synesthesia or something?? What is with this device!!!!

She looks in Iko’s book and sees pictures of her, the special guest

Sour shades of yellow green made her stomach roil with trepidation - HUH????

She’s like “why would he make the game about me?” You’ve been begging him to bring you caraval your entire life, why do you think? 

I think I remember the nana saying annelise had blonde hair, and so does tella...are they related to her? Is she nana? 

Iko tells her the notebook also holds all the true stories of caraval

Iko will give her the notebook if Scarlett will buy 2 dresses because the changing dress bothers her (??)

Iko takes her to a dress shop where the dresses are “the color of late night laughter, early morning sunshine, and waves crashing around ankles” 

The dresses cost nightmares or secrets or fears

She owes her worst fear and greatest desire, or she can pay 2 days of her life per dress 

It works but her greatest desire isn’t to find her sister, so she pays with 2 days of her life, not at the end of her life but at the end of caraval 

“Panic came in hemlock green, the color of poison and terror” 

“Something acidic and moldy and burnt bubbled up in Scarlett’s throat - the taste of death” like this 

Scarlett’s body dies but her mind will exist in a dream world 

Chapter 20

Dante finds her and drags her into the inn 

Julian hits Dante because he won’t let her go hell yeah

She tells him what happened 

Julian tried to give Scarlett a day of his life by having her drink his blood from his finger and she’s like “I wanna fuck this duuuude”

“His voice is so gentle, made of gentle” I liked this 

Then he drinks her blood from her finger, and the world shatters into a million shards of colored glass 

He lays down with her and holds her while she dies

Chapter 21

Death was the color purple.

She sees tella in the dream world, and tella has a huge dark book that swallows her and Scarlett 

They see young nana in a house similar to the one they entered at caraval, entwined with a young man

Her grandma is Anneliese DUH

Then she’s at the funeral of the woman who died at caraval before

Rosa was in love with legend and he rejected her so she killed herself 

Dante was rosa’s fiancée 

Legend is julian?!?!?

Loved This entire chapter but then it means nothing because none of this is real it’s all part of the game so it’s not really story development

Chapter 22

They both wake up 

Scarlett tries to convince herself the game is messing with her 

Then she remembers what the dream people said about legend loving to make girls fall for him 

She has a grey streak in her hair now 

Her dad is there!

She finally puts it together - her nana is anneliese 

“She could see the sting of her rejection in shades of stormy blue ghosting over his heart like sad morning mist” roll my eyes

But then she remembers that he gave a day of his life for her and is like why would he do that if he was legend 

 Now she’s changed her mind, so she goes after Julian to find him leaving Dante’s room and walking into tella’s 

She goes in after him to hide from her dad but the room is empty 

She finds another secret staircase like the fountain 

She trips over Dante’s dead body and finds Julian standing over it 

Chapter 23

Julian grabs her and is like “I didn't kill him, we were working together” 

He shows her a white rose tattoo he has, Rosa was his sister!!

She asks why he had been acting weird and he basically says he didn’t want to have feelings for her because that wasn’t why he had come to caraval 

Scarlett is like let’s get this fucker back, but she hears her dad’s footsteps in the tunnel  

Chapter 24

They start running, and they hide in a weird alcove from her dad that starts to squish them

She realizes it’s feeding off their fear so they relax and it lets them out

They end up in the sand tunnel and Scarlett is like how could you know I was going to caraval if you were already at our island when I got my tickets 

Julian explains that legend is punishing the descendants of anneliese and he invited her to caraval to stop the wedding

Legend had never responded until she signed her full name on the last letter, mentioning her wedding 

Julian is the fucking count dude calling it 

“His steady gaze reached out to the broken parts of her like a caress, a type of touch that moved through damaged flesh, past fractured bones and into a person's wounded soul.” WOW

Scarlett hears tella’s voice and almost runs straight off a cliff

“Tella loved danger the same way candle wicks loved to burn. It never seemed to scare her that some of the things she lusted for might consume her like a flame” Christ 

Julian knew tella would be taken during caraval 

Chapter 25

She had to find tella before legend consumed her like a flame burning a candle” you just used a candle metaphor like one page ago my dude. 

She gives herself one minute to cry and scream and Julian hears her so he barges in, worried 

He apologizes and she gives him the grace I’ve been waiting for as soon as he said he knew what would happen to tella: he had to avenge his sister. Everything they’re both doing is for their sisters, she should be more understanding 

Julian is “all kinds of tragic and lovely”

The box was “flat black, the color of failure and funerals” shut UP

Like if you wanna use the color device to describe your protagonists feelings stop being so fucking flowery with every single color in the book it is soooooooooooooooo distracting

It’s the other dress Scarlett has bought but now it’s white

Chapter 26

There’s a note in the box from legend that makes “invisible spiders crawl over her skin” ok 

She thinks the dress is the 5th clue - the buttons on the dress reminds her of the buttons leading to the hat store 

Chapter 27

They go to the top hat place and Julian is like “this is all wrong” 

Iko appears looking like “a teardrop the moon had cried” love it

She tells them not to go into the hat shop 

Let me guess, despite both of these omens Scarlett is still gonna go in 

“Scarlett had an emerald green premonition that she would make a discovery inside” sure why tf not gotta keep the story moving somehow 

She sees the store owner and was like LEGEND and he’s like nah dude I’m just wearing a hat 

But he is the guy that was wearing the red cravat and eyepatch from the day her vision went gray 

He is the count!!!!!

Chapter 28

Nicholas Darcy 

And her dad is there!!!!!!!!!!

Julian gets her out but the count chases her and they get on a boat 

She sees her dad and he looks afraid but she blames it on the rain 

They row to the castle and Julian convinces her to get inside to hide from the lightning 

And they argue about if she’s still planning marrying the count and she’s torn which hurts him 

He says “are you sure you want this?” Before kissing her and like is it a consent thing or is it him asking if he’s what she wants either way I love it 

“The boy who had saved her from drowning in more ways than one” explain…

They kiss and “every touch created colors she had never seen” that’s so anticlimactic 

Chapter 29

The stones fall through the hourglass like “drops of falling rose petals” that makes no sense but we have to include it because...

She finally realizes the roses that have been EVERYWHERE are part of the game duh 

She takes Julian to the fountain where the tunnel entrance is

She feels ochre shades of uneasy

Only NOW she’s giving pause at the idea of winning because she could wish them safe...shoulda been your goal all along. Should have been equally as important as finding tella since if you find her you win the wish….I’m signing heavily atm 

The governor and the count are there!!!!! 

Swear to god if Julian dies I’m going to fucking riot 

She wants to split up but Julian is like fuck no 

The count catches up to her and the governor pulls her by her hair up the stairs 

He punches her in the stomach to warn Julian and she gets back up, with the count trying to protect Scarlett

“A slick mud colored feeling coated Scarlett’s insides” because the governor is holding a knife to Julian’s throat

He cuts Julian’s face NOOOOOO

The governor takes Julian to his room and let’s the count sleep in Scarlett’s room because “he’s already paid for her, he can enjoy her a few days early”

Scarlett stands up to her dad!!!! And then she remembers tella’s words: what if the count is worse?

Scarlett tells the count if she makes her dad stop, she’ll be a good wife but if he doesn’t she will never be his obedient wife 

“Do you really want a bride who will only sleep with you because someone will be tortured if she doesn’t?” YES

Chapter 30

The count is like “listen I am NOT like your dad I’m sorry” and she’s like yeah but you’re not Julian 

The count starts undressing and Scarlett aims a poker at his eyeball lmao 

She finally remembers the elixir of protection in that dress from the tent and soaks the count 

The count is like “you’re playing into legends hands” and Scarlett is like “nah he did me a favor by getting rid of you”

Chapter 31

Julian’s cut isn’t that deep thank god but he’s still woozy 

“He tasted like midnight and wind”

Leap of faith - roses - it’s Rosa!!!!! She has to ask how Rosa died and Julian says she jumped off a balcony 

They decide to sneak out using the tunnels to go search all the balconies

Chapter 32

The town during the day looks like a “faded memory”

She hears music from the rose colored carousel 

The musician has been asking for coins the whole time but nothing else cost money

They jump onto the moving carousel and end up in the roses where Scarlett finds the caraval symbol

They have to jump, Julian gives her coordinates to a boat in case they get separated but they run out of time and she has to go in 

She lands in a river and lands at a staircase guarded with statues that are definitely frozen people 

Legend is there ofc 

Chapter 33

She’s a little star struck by legend 

His laugh is a rich spicy sound that echoes until he snaps his fingers 

Homeboy is mad 

Julian ends up there, dry, and...he’s working with legend...NOOOOOOO

Dante and Valentina were also part of the game 

Rosa was not his sister...DUDE

She clutches his pocket watch and legend opens it - Julian’s voice comes out apologizing for betraying her 

He does love her HE IS ENCHANTED!!!!!

LEGEND STABS JULIAN?!?!?!?!?!?

Oh fuck he is spitting blood oh fuck oh no 

Scarlett you got him killed you dumdum 

Chapter 34

I’m FUCKING FURIOUS 

she remembers that she gets one wish, and she wants to use it to bring Julian back and I swear to goooooddddddd if he doesn’t come back I’m gonna throw myself out the window 

Legend is gone, leaving a funeral invitation for tella set for tomorrow this guy is a MONSTER

Chapter 35

She ends up on a huge rooftop way high up 

“The air felt soft and poisonous” 

Tella is there feeling like “softness and sunlight and seeds for growing dreams”

We just used soft a sentence ago!!!!

Tella is like “you’re confused, the game is playing tricks on you”

Scarlett tells her about their grandmas history with legend 

She shows tella the invitation and it now says it’s to a party not a funeral

Chapter 36

Tella has met a boy that’s not legend...it’s a guy she met right before she got taken for the game…

She’s engaged to him??

Scarlett is like maybe tella is right and this is all part of it...Scarlett DUDE 

Scarlett has a bitter yellow puddle of dread in her stomach 

If Daniel is Dante or Julian I’m gonna scream 

Chapter 37

It’s legend of course 

Duh 

He tries to convince tella to tie Scarlett up you better NOT

TELLA

YOU DUMB BITCH

legend dares Scarlett to walk to the edge of the balcony to prove she loves her sister, so that he can feign worry to tella

They tie her up 

The governor and the count show up FUCK

finally legend admits to tella who he is and she just breaks poor baby 

Tella backs up to the ledge and says if the governor or the count touch Scarlett she’ll kill herself!!!!!!!

“Silver slippers sliding” toward the balcony 

Scarlett breaks free but tella FUCKING JUMPS

Chapter 38

So now who is Scarlett gonna use her wish on?!

Her father looks like “a dragon with no fire and broken wings”

The governor slaps Jovan and legend is like imma fuck you UP 

The governor killed Dante!!!!!!

She blackmails her dad with Philippe’s death 

She remembers her wish...but who does she use it on?! 

Which oof, oof, OOF

Tella is a brat lmao 

Legend won’t give her the wish!!!!!

He’s...fading?? 

Scarlett goes to give tella her blood 

She wishes her impossible wish but it doesn’t work

Chapter 39

She goes back up to get tella’s stuff and finds a caraval box with a letter inside from tella to legend that she didn’t know about 

Chapter 40

She goes to see legend and finds out he’s actually some dude named Caspar…that was why he couldn’t grant her wish 

There’s a stack of letter between tella and legend that basically illustrate that tella was willing to die for legend to get them to caraval 

Tella is alive?!?!?!?!?!?

This was all a fucking game?!

Her impossible wish came true, but she had actually died 

Tella orchestrated their dad getting to caraval so he could see her die, and so he would leave Scarlett alone 

Chapter 41

So Julian is not really dead, but tella wanted anyone who made Scarlett love them to be taken out, that way she wouldn’t get hurt by someone who was just pretending 

So she somehow warps this into meaning that Julian didn’t actually love her? Go...ask him??????? The fuck 

God poor Scarlett…

So people can die in caraval, but when the game is over, they come back...so there were no fuckin stakes except for tella’s death

Chapter 42

They go to legends party in the forest and Scarlett sees Julian 

Iko is there like go talk to Julian dumdum 

“Shades of the rich ruby love she’d felt mixed with deep indigo hurt turning everything just a little bit violet” I don’t care I want them to kiss Stephanie 

Julian is so hurt that she thinks she doesn’t know him

He’s related to legend…

Rosa dying changed his opinion of legend 

He tried to leave the game right before this caraval 

Legend is his brother!!!!!!!!!

He couldn’t leave Scarlett because she loved her sister like Julian loved his brother 

He stayed because of Scarlett despite how it hurt him to lie to her 

Yaaaaaay they kiss yay omg 

Epilogue

Tella is dancing drunk at the party and is dancing with a new guy who dances her to the edge of the party...then he’s gone?

He dropped something into her pocket...a coin with a note…

From legend!!!!!

You can see your mom soon if you keep up your end of the bargain!!!!!

#book review #bookreviews #booktube #cringe books #cringe review #stephanie garber #caraval #legendary #finale #negative review #spoilers

[vrenaewrites]

After by Anna Todd thoughts: Ch 51 - 97

Full video here.

CH 51:

Noah was in her room waiting for her when she came in from a fight with hardin

Hardin confesses his feelings in FRONT OF NOAH

Hardin deleted all of Noah’s voicemails the night before

NINETEEN: The “Give me another chance” “you said you don’t date” “not before you” all in FRONT OF HER BOYFRIEND!!!!!!!

TWENTY: NOAH YOU SHOULD GO?!?!?!?!!?

Honestly thought they’d start banging right in front of him so…

TWENTY-ONE: “I know it is the calm before the storm, but hardin is my anchor. I just pray he doesn’t pull me under” - tess

CH 52:

PART-TIME HO MOLLY!!!!!!!

CH 53:

TWENTY-TWO: S my c...just...why and then she says “um yeah if you want me to”

TWENTY-THREE: Have you seen one before? Yeah i walked in on a neighbor watching a naughty movie.

Everything about her seeing his ween for the first time is cringe.

Of course, she’s the best he’s ever had

CH 54:

“I’m not like the other girls”

CH 55:

Hardin’s dad, aka school chancellor, calls her out of class to ask her to convince hardin to come to his wedding. Profesh

CH 56:

TWENTY-FOUR: “I give the proud rebel a kiss on his cheek” - HUH?

CH 57:

TWENTY-FIVE: “I know getting eaten out wasn’t on my schedule this morning, but I can’t think of a better way to start my day”

“It’s only tuesday and molly has almost used up her skank quota for the week”

CH 58:

Landon talks tessa into going to the party to see why hardin didn’t invite her

Molly is on hardin’s lap!!!!!!!!

CH 59:

Zed makes tessa a couple drinks and she gets blitzed and gets dared to kiss him in truth or dare, pissing hardin off

And then zed gets dared to take tessa upstairs and hardin’s like “this is stupid”

Aw zed doesn’t wanna do anything because she’s drunk! Team zed????

He asks her out but wants her to answer when she’s sober!!!!!!!! So sweet!!!

“Molly is perched on his lap like the whore she is”

Hardin dares molly to kiss him, dickhead

CH 60:

SHE SMACKED HIM! GOOD!!!!

Landon comes to pick her up and hardin says he loves tessa in front of everyone at the party

And she calls him sick, GOOD JOB!

CH 61:

She’s staying at landon’s because she thinks hardin will go to her dorm to find her and she sleeps in hardin’s room

CH 62:

She wakes up to find hardin watching her

“We have the same fight over and over, but worse each time” that is why this book is 98 chapters and nothing fucking happens

Kisses her without her wanting it, literally pushing her away

“You made yourself an easy target” - hardin

CH 63:

She decides to go on a date with zed and he brought her a flower!!!!!!!

Zed is literally too good for tessa

He kisses her hand!!!!!!!!

TWENTY-SIX: The heavy handed wuthering heights allegory in class dude…

CH 64:

The parents are getting married next weekend and i already know hardin is going to show up unannounced and make a grand gesture and this is when they’re gonna do it, it’s gonna be like chapter 97…

Hardin never tells anyone he loves them, not even his mom???? Tea

Hardin showed up to dinner!!!!!!!

“One more chance” AGAIN?!!?!?!?!?!?! SIR!!!!!!!

She done left Hardin in the dust to meet zed, yes ma’am

CH 65:

Hardin is at the bonfire with some girl, bro, c’mon

The same shit just keeps happening

Oh shit the girl is gay!

She’s going to zed’s house!?!?!?

“You’re different from the rest of the girls here”

For some reason, zed mentioning that hardin was looking for wedding attire makes her realize she’s in love with hardin

CH 66:

She chases him down, he got in a fight at the bonfire, and takes him his dad’s house

CH 67:

TWENTY-SEVEN: You constantly provoke me - hardin RED FLAG! RED FUCKING FLAG!

She tells him she loves him

TWENTY-EIGHT: “I love this damaged, self-loathing asshole”

CH 68:

TWENTY-NINE: He is like a drug - vomit.com

He takes her shirt off and she mentions it’s again, without her permission

THIRTY: Undress “yes ma’am”

But he won’t have sex with her because….?????? The 60 chapters of her grinding up on him aren’t enough evidence that she’s sure about it??

Because this fucking book needs to be another 30 chapters

CH 70:

THIRTY ONE: When hardin calls me baby my blood sings in my veins

CH 71:

THIRTY TWO: “I love that you are so shy and innocent, but you let me do dirty things to you”

CH 72:

Him and his dad get into a thing and he destroys his bedroom

THIRTY THREE: “No, i’m nice because i love you,” he whispers, and i swoon. “Sleep, beautiful”

CH 73:

TESSA’S MOM SHOWED UP

CH 74:

Ew tessa’s mom convinced noah to take her back despite her being a whore

She calls hardin a freak??? Tf?

She’s threatening to take away her tuition if she won’t break up with hardin

So hardin says they can move in together...they have known each other...for two months…

CH 76:

This bitch got a whole ass office in her internship

Hardin has a job at a different publishing house…

He’s mad that she wants to know about his job?? Fucking weirdo

And she calls him out, good

CH 77:

THIRTY-FOUR: You know what happens when i sleep without you - NEGGING ASSHOLE!!!!!!!

CH 78:

They finally do it and at least she’s honest that it’s not always fun to lose your v-card

THIRTY-FIVE: “This beautiful flawed man who has just made love for the first time in his life”

CH 79:

He won’t talk to her about his job...but wants her to move in with him

CH 80:

She says hi to a guy in the hall AT HER JOB and hardin goes cuckoo bananas

CH 81:

Molly broke up Steph’s relationship because she’s a hooooo

They’re in another fight because he introduced her as his friend

Who tf is jace?

A big creep, hence the friend thing

CH 82:

THEY ARE MOVING IN TOGETHER??????

CH 83:

Jace is at the frat house with his shit friends

Hardin tells her to stay in his room and she won’t because she hates molly so much

They’re playing suck and blow and the guy kisses tessa and hardin starts CHOKING HIM

CH 84:

“If you’re gonna have a problem with every girl i’ve slept with, you need to transfer schools”

He kicks her out!!!!!

But then he tells her to come back?!?!?!

THIRTY-SIX: I happen to be vigorously in love with you - hardin

WHAT. PARDON.

CH 86:

Noah calls to check on her and offers to talk to her mom for her because he is too good for this world

THIRTY-SEVEN: Everything about the apartment: modern but old, the fun indie tiles, etc.

This bitch got an apartment with no credit

THREE MONTHS. SHE HAS BEEN IN COLLEGE FOR THREE MONTHS. THEY HAVE ONLY KNOWN EACH OTHER FOR THREE MONTHS.

CH 87:

He didn’t get rid of the bloody sheets from their first time...they’re in his trunk…

Hardin is jealous of noah

CH 89:

So is she just not going to school anymore??

Hardin doesn’t come home and doesn’t text her

When he does come home he’s drunk and has been fighting and is being mean to her about being on his case

CH 90:

Omg hardin’s mom got gang raped in front of him because his dad pissed off some dudes

No wonder he hates his dad

CH 91:

Tessa mom is out for blood

Well yeah, she got a call that her 18 year old moved out of her dorm…

CH 92:

Tessa’s mom says she’s stupid for moving in with a boy she barely knows and honestly, agree

TESSA CALLS HER MOM A BIIIIITCH!!!!!!!!!!

Damn Tessa brings up her dad and Tessa’s mom slaps her

I cannot get over how judgemental tessa’s mom and noah are about the tattoos...people like that really exist?

CH 93:

THIRTY-NINE: Hardin, who listens to metal, gives the fray another try because tessa likes them, and he plays her “never say never”

THIS IS PEAK FANFIC MATERIAL

CH 94:

“Ken rubs the back of his neck just like Hardin” hardin doesn’t do that, once again

The wedding is a dream of course

CH 95:

Hardin wants tessa to go to england with him for christmas

Tessa asks what hardin is gonna be up to and he freaks out about her not letting stuff go????

Tessa calls zed to find out what’s up with hardin but he hangs up

CH 96:

Tessa hunts down steph at a bar

Hardin, molly, and jace show up and it comes out that they live together

CH 97:

HARDIN MADE A BET TO TAKE TESSA’S V-CARD

THAT IS WHY HE KEPT THE SHEETS!!!! TO PROVE IT

AND EVERYONE KNEW INCLUDING STEPH

#reading #fiction #after #anna todd #hardin scott #tessa young #cringe #bad books #book review #negative review #fanfic #harry styles #cringe review

[vrenaewrites]

HUSH HUSH by Becca Fitzpatrick thoughts: Ch 12 - end

Full video here.

CHAPTER 12

Nora’s mom is on her way home

Nora goes to visit V

“I love drugs” LMAO

She goes into a diatribe about her doctor only eating easter candy i’m crying

It was a guy!!! He had dark eyes and he was wearing a ski mask!!!!!

After thought: was jules just manipping them SO HARD they couldn’t keep a grip on what the ski masked person looked like? If so...why keep wearing a ski mask as your calling card??

V had told elliott they were going shopping

Nora tells V about hitting the guy in the ski mask

Ooh nora told patch about shopping too!!!!

Too short and too skinny to be elliott though

V is like “the more i think about it, i really think it was patch”

Nora doesn’t get a chance to tell V about elliott before the drugs kick in hard

“I brought your homework, where do you want it?” she pointed to the trash can LMAO V IS THE BEST

She goes home and hugs her mom

CHAPTER 13

She and V go to borderline where patch works to get info from his coworkers

Nora is sweaty lmao

Nora literally wrote interrogations on one side of a piece of paper and flirting prompts on the other side this girl is ridiculous

V brought slutty heels to make Nora more seductive I’m dead

V invited Jules and Elliott...she’s been seeing Jules

Nora goes to tell V about Elliott but he shows up before she can

Jules doesn’t show up

Nora is like so Elliot if the prep school is so great why did you transfer basically challenging this potential murderer

Elliott is like “heard the girls were hotter at your school”

I am beyond confused as to why V invited these guys who know who Nora is, but also expects Nora to put on a whole ass disguise in the bathroom and go talk to the bartender… Why would you invite these guys along? This just makes it way more difficult…

Nora goes to the bartender and tries to make conversation; is terrible at it, basically asks him is it possible to get hired here with a felony, can I see patch’s job application, does patch have a girlfriend?

Patch is covering a shift so he is NOT off as originally expected

Patch confronts her in the girl’s bathroom and he’s like “are you following me?” POT KETTLE BITCH

She goes to take the high heels off and drops the list of interrogation questions and patch picks it up and I am nervous

Patch had a girlfriend but she’s dead

Gonna call it: she’s the girl who was hanged at kinghorn that Elliott was questioned about

Chapter 14

Her mom “Blinked owlishly” excuse me??

Nora’s mom wants to sell their house because it’s too much $

So Nora decides not to tell mom about the ski mask guy

She asks her mom about knowing if she loved dad and if she was ever afraid of dad

When the pats lost her dad would chop down trees with a chainsaw lmaoooooo what

Nora‘s mom says “ooh a boy is he on chess team? Student council? Tennis team?”

And Nora says… He likes pool… and her mom says “ooh a swimmer” LMAO

Someone ripped her room APART

It’s the ski mask guy!!!!! He jumped out the window

One of the cops looks like patch…

Nothing is messed up when the cops look at the room…

Is Nora going insane or is it angel shit

Unfortunately I think this book would be so much more interesting if I didn’t already know that patch was a fallen angel and I don’t know if that’s my bad for trying to fine just like a quick summary of what the book was about on the Internet, or if like the back of the book let you know that this is about an angel… I mean the cover let you know it’s about an angel but I would’ve thought these dudes are like…serial killers or something and that Nora had some kind of mental issue or they had messed with her iron supplements to make her go nuts…Which might’ve been more interesting than whatever is going on here

Chapter 15

Nora finally tells V about the article and v doesn’t believe her

Nora thinks that she has a great point because Elliot transferred schools after he was questioned… I’m sure it was really hard to keep going to school with people who knew you were a murder suspect...so…

Nora wants to go to kinghorn and question the students about elliott

The fact that this all somehow ties back to fallen angels is really pissing me off because we are halfway through it, and we have not even really from Nora’s point of you introduced the idea of Angels

Nora is suddenly like why the fuck is Jules always sick

Also how is he always around if kinghorn is such a difficult school

Nora realizes the article that she printed about Elliot was missing from her room after the ski mask guy broke in so now she is convinced Skimask guy is Elliot

I will say that I have absolutely no idea where this is going so it is keeping my attention because again I don’t understand how this is going to tie back to angels and why the girl died and etc.

Coach makes V and Patch switch places

“I didn’t do homework” “who did you do?” Bro come on

“The subjects pulse increased on contact”

She goes to her appointment with Miss Green and somehow Miss Green knows that patch took her home from the pier and that patch went into her house what the fuck is going on

I really really really hope that all of this weird shit comes together in the last like five chapters and I end up like screaming OH DUH putting all this together… But because this was recommended as part of my cringe series, I have a very strong feeling that is not going to happen and all of this means nothing

“something about Miss Green bothered me, it was almost like she had an agenda“ yeah bitch she knew a guy took you to your house and came inside, she is stalking you

Chapter 16

Nora runs into Marcy at the library and basically Marcy says V got attacked because someone mistake her for a bear or a moose because she’s fat, and then they have a name calling back-and-forth of skank, slut, anorexic pig like real vile shit

Nora goes to the underground tunnel to get to the parking lot even though...she didn’t drive…

Patch is in the tunnel

“His smile looked like he didn’t play by the rules”

She immediately is like “if he’s gonna rape me he cornered me in the perfect place” JESUS

I mean all women think like that in a dark space but she likes this guy and they go to school together and...damn that was a jump!

Nora gets a car between them and they have like a run around while she’s asking him questions

“Was it a coincidence that the last normal day in my life had been right before that fateful day?” Editor fight me

She lets him take her home again

I am starting to feel like we are back to after, where the same things keep happening over and over for no reason… She was so determined to get answers and then she let it go because he turned the conversation on her...she should’ve just held her ground and then like I am not leaving until you tell me what the fuck is going on, but she didn’t, so does she care or not

He asks her out…

Chapter 17

She is so infuriating, she’s getting ready for this date but thinking about kissing him rather than thinking about getting answers on if this dude is stalking her / reading her mind...it’s so frustrating

The detectives show up

Asking about Marcy…?

Marcy got beat up!!!! By patch??

She lies that patch isn’t on his way

They go to the arcade

He’s behind her showing her how to play pool fuck yeah

He’s like “if I hit this, take off your jacket”

A guy named Rickson shows up, him and patch start roughhousing and we see patch’s giant back scars

They call him patch because he used to get his ass beat in bar fights and had to get patched up a lot lmao

Chapter 18

He leaves her in the Jeep while he gets dinner and she goes sleuthing

So in chapter 18 she is saying she would settle for finding his cell phone number but...she called him at Boze arcade in like the third chapter so what number was that, did you not write it down once you washed it off your hand, or was that the arcades phone... why do you not have his phone number anymore

He has a metal flashlight with blood on it in his glove compartment, making Nora think he had beat up Marcy after all

I swear to God, if he gets back in the car and she starts getting horny for him after finding this flashlight I am not gonna finish this book I am going to quit

He pulled out a gun?!?!?!?!!?!?!???!?!?

Paintball gun. He says it’s paint on the flashlight?? Sure Jan

He gives her a snow globe of the pier, cute!

Mom catches them lmaooo

Chapter 19

So Nora is on the phone with V and she’s like how did the date go with patch and Nora said something about him giving her pool pointers and he says I bet he could give you pointers in other areas… And then the next sentence is V trying to convince Nora once again that patch is the one who broke her arm… So… Why the fuck do you want your best friend to fuck the guy who broke your arm????????

Nora realizes that the angels that were painted on the roller coaster have the same scar that patch has

“My voice was strewn with cobwebs” huh?????

She goes on their home computer to google “angel wings scars” LMAO why did every girl in a YA novel in the early 2000s google what their monster boyfriend was

Info dump re angels: they talk to humans in their minds, can possess them during the unholy Hebrew month

“I filed everything away that I had just read in my mind, and stamped ‘scary’ on the outside“ lmao

“V, do you believe in superheroes? Do you think the Bible is real?”

Chapter 20

Elliott is at her house...drunk

He punches the side of her house

He invites her to go camping with him Jules and V...after he acknowledges she doesn’t like him

He rips her out of the house and throws her against it when she says she doesn’t wanna go

Thank god her mom wakes up

V tries to talk Nora into going, and Nora tells her what happened at the house, and V is like “well he was drunk”

Insert pic of unamused Kristen Stewart face

PLEASE tell me she’s being controlled by the angel powers because wtf

“Maybe you’re trying so hard to pin the ski mask on Elliott because you know it’s patch deep down” she’s not wrong tho patch is also a terrible dude who is stalking(?) her

Nora goes to Portland to investigate Elliott, and kierstens death

She throws away her questions this time, smart

She interrogates the waitress at kierstens old job, who is NOT amused but agrees to tell her some tea if she gets food and tips her big

Kiersten and Elliott were hooking up

Elliott bought kierstens apartment so he def coulda planted the note

Elliott and Jules were in the restaurant talking about a test that Jules has failed...I get the feeling it wasn’t academic

Chapter 21

Someone’s watching herrrr

V is in Portland with Elliott…? But she’s alone...she wants Nora to come get her

Red flag

She gets hustled by a homeless woman for her coat

She left her phone in the coat

She witnesses a shooting...of the bag lady...who was wearing her coat and hat!!!!!!!!!!

She calls patch and he comes to get her

V went home with the boys

“The water was smooth black poison” wut

The Jeep dies on the highway and a storm rolls in

Chapter 22

They get a room to wait out the storm because the lights and phones are down

She still is like wary of him but she doesn’t really have a choice at this point, fair.

Also, favorite trope: there’s only one bed

Her clothes are wet so she makes him blow out the candles so he can’t see her in her underwear….

She touches his scar and gets sucked into blackness?!?!

Chapter 23

There are 8 chapters left and I have a BAD feeling that we’re in sequel bait territory

She’s in like a flashback from 8 months ago

Miss green meets patch at bo’s, he calls her Daubria

“Your kind and my kind don’t mix” she’s an angel and he’s a fallen one, I just know it “it’s not easy getting down here”

“If you save a human life, you can get your wings back”

“Now tell me why you’re really here”

Something about the book of Enoch and him wanting to recreate it

He wants a name from her list since she’s a death angel

Daubria says Nora’s name and patch asks who wants to kill her and Daubria says, “you”

So…..if he stops himself….he can get his wings?

She comes back and patch pins her to the bed, pissed

So she has just found out that he wants to kill her, he has her pinned to the bed, and she asks “is Daubria your girlfriend???” Why do you literally care and why do you not have any self-preservation skills

He kisses her?!?!

She bites the shit out of his lip

He did try to kill her on the archangel but couldn’t do it, he was gonna stab her in her house, couldn’t do it

She’s passing out because she needs her iron pills

He calms her down

He lets her touch his scars again so she’ll trust him

Chapter 24

She wakes up next to a skeleton in a graveyard

The Irish guy is talking to patch there

Patch wants to become human, as he heard in the book of Enoch

She comes back

Patch feels through a “sheet of glass” unless he possess a body

Patch is the angel from the prologue I think

“If you can’t feel, why did you kiss me?” “Because I can feel it in my heart”

He fell because he lusted after a human girl

He didn’t know Daubria was still on earth…

She now thinks Daubria is the ski mask person

Chapter 25

Patch goes to get the car and leaves Nora there

They get her home and patch checks the house for her

V doesn’t answer her phone

Daubria is there!!

She says she isn’t the one who has been spying

She planted the idea in V’s mind that patch attacked her

Her birthmark means she’s Chauncey’s descendant, and the book says if patch killed his vassal’s descendant he can be human (according to Daubria)

She goes to kill Nora so she’ll be out of the way

Daubria is v hurt by him falling and “falling” for the human girl

Daubria goes full angel, using tk, glowing, trying to stop Nora

Daubria sets the house on fire

Patch comes back and tells her to drive his Jeep to Delphic

She starts to search for V in the meantime

Chapter 26

She goes to the movies and gets a ticket for the sacrifice, remarking on the irony of the title

V isn’t at the movies

But patch is?!?!

“Shut up or I’ll get security” “yeah, get security, this guy wants to kill me” “I want to kill you”

“I’ll tell you what I’ve done: I’m not good, but I was worse”

He’s now saying she’s worth falling for basically

“I don’t kill people who are important to me, and you top the list”

Patch ripped daubria’s wings off

“Let’s be honest, you got it bad for me, and I’ve got it bad for you.”

“You don’t need me to help you fight her.” “What do I need you for?” “We have unfinished business”

They making OUT in this theater bathroom

Her phone rings, V and the guys broke into school, and Elliott says “Nora come play or there’s a tree in the courtyard with V’s name on it”

Listen. To. Me. If these two plots have nothing to do with each other, I am going to rip my hair out. These could have been 2 different books.

Chapter 27

She tells patch about the article

Patch says he doesn’t remember Jules being at the arcade…

Jules is an angel I bet

The jeeps tires are slashed so they pay an employee to take his car

He tells Nora to stay in the car

Chapter 28

Elliott calls Nora and says he’s watching her

Nora GETS OUT OF THE CAAAAAAR

AND GOES INTO THE SCHOOL NORA HE TOLD YOU NOT TO FUCKING GET OUT

Nora tripped over Jules’ dead body…

Elliott is in the library, basically dead…

The lights keep going on and off…

The ski mask person is here!!!!!!!

IT IS JULES?!?!

He’s an angel!!!! Called it, He’s been fucking with her mind

He throws her in the bio room, and she sees a scalpel on the ground and grabs it

Jules was Elliott’s benefactor and made him choose between love and money…

Jules really wanted patch, but patch can’t be hurt...so he’s using Nora to get to him

Jules is patch’s vassal!!!!! So he’s fucking PISSED

HE IS CHAUNCEY!!!!!!

The guardian presence she felt wasn’t her dad, it was Jules

She stabs him, but bumps a table as she tries to escape…

He passes out

Chapter 29

She finds V in the e-zine lab

All the doors are chained…

She ends up trapped in the gym

Jules has a gun!!!!

He beat up Marcy because he didn’t want anyone messing with “his girl”

Patch finds them, Jules holds her at gun point, patch possesses Nora to beat the SHIT out of Jules

He couldn’t stay long enough to kill Jules, and the effort made him pass out

She climbs up the air shaft despite being afraid of heights and Jules is fucking with her, making her think she’s falling

Patch helps her anchor to reality

They’re both on the rafters

She realizes if she sacrifices herself, patch can be human

She throws herself off the rafter

Chapter 30

She hears a clock and wings, but then she slides backwards instead

She wakes up in her bedroom, with patch

Patch turned down her sacrifice so she could live

“What good is a body if I can’t have you?”

He’s a guardian angel because he saved her

V and Elliott are fine

The police think Jules killed himself

V says “shoe-shopping therapy” instead of retail therapy why

The book ends with patch coming back to give her a kiss...boring

There’s an exchange that’s the last sentence of the book where he pulls away and she’s like “more” “more?” “more”

#reading #book review #cringe books #booktube #hush hush #becca fitzpatrick #patch cipriano #nora grey #negative review

[vrenaewrites]

HUSH HUSH by Becca Fitzpatrick thoughts: Prologue - Ch 11

Full video here.

We start right away with a bible verse which, if you’ve read any of my books, you know I’m a big fan of

We have a prologue from 1565 France…

The visual of a person perched on a gravestone and mistaking them for an angel statue at first is cool tbh

“Who are you?” “One of the devil’s brood”

The mind control parts of this I like, and I already have a feeling this is the gonna be the best part of this book

Except we don’t get another example of someone fighting it the way he is fighting it - nora doesn’t even realize it’s happening when it happens to her which isn’t as fun

The guy being maniped is a duke and the angel tells him no you’re half fallen angel so do what i tell you (nephilim)

This angel doesn’t have wings but a big cut in the shape of a V on his back

CHAPTER 1

The image of a barbie and ken taped to the chalkboard of the sex ed class is great

Her best friend’s name is V!

“Camera phones to take photos for the school E-zine”

Oh shit she’s a hoe

“V as in virgin” never mind

“It may not have occurred to you kids that sex is more than a 15 minute trip to the backseat of a car” lmaoooooooo

Is this book gonna be good? Did yall lie to me??

The school e-zine

V is a “few pounds over curvy” damn

V is my “untwin” i love that

“I’m all legs like a barstool”

The sex ed teacher is making them all sit by new people...in april…

She knows everyone except the transfer who of course is her new seat mate...this is a very convoluted way to get them to sit together

“It was a smile that spelled trouble with a promise”

“Human reproduction can be a sticky subject” LMAO

“Call me patch. I mean it. Call me.” and he winks

He takes pictures “of an ezine columnist who…” and describes a bunch of stuff about her and she’s like what the fuuuuuuck

And then he is like “you’re scared of what you can’t control”

He knows she plays the cello

She doesn’t wanna ask for another partner because she doesn’t wanna let him win and i’m like NORA CALL THE FUCKING COPS!!!!!!!!!! THIS GUY HAS BEEN STALKING YOU?!?!?!?

She has a cut on her wrist, her dad was murdered

At the end of class he gives her his number so she can get her answers - she no longer has it by chapter 18 but doesn’t remind the reader that she did have it written on her hand so we just think becca forgot nora already got his # for a bit

She’s a sophomore, he’s a senior

He has black eyes and wears all black because ofc

CHAPTER 2

They get a lot of fog and don’t have many neighbors

Mom is an auction coordinator so she’s not around a lot so there’s a german housekeeper that watches over her

But she leaves her alone at night...i already KNOW patch is gonna be “Watching over her” ala edward watching bella sleep i just KNOW

She’s thinking that patch seemed closed off but she liked what she had seen - aka his bod

“Smile that was part playful, part seductive” NOTHING about the interaction y’all had sounded seductive!!!!!! This is exactly like in crave when she’s getting horny that jaxon is yelling at her...like these men seem UNHINGED. Why is that sexy????

“Biology was my toughest subject, i teetered between an A and a B” i’m gonna punch you. I know you wanna go to ivy league so this matters but…

She calls patch!!!!

She asks if he wants to meet up to finish the assignment...you couldn’t...ask...over the phone??

“Nora” he says my name like it’s the punchline to a joke

He hangs up on her because he’s playing pool

She starts her assignment anyway: “jerk” “smokes cigars, will die of lung cancer, hopefully very soon” i laughed v hard tbh

“Excellent physical shape” and then crosses that out lmaooooooo

She flips a coin and it makes her decision: go to the arcade and confront patch

The cashier is pissed that she didn’t pay to get in so she sneaks by

“I was like a rolling snowball gaining speed and momentum” weird out of place metaphor but ok

Patch says she’s with him and the cashier lets her go

His black eyes are magnets clinging to her every move

She feels something different here, more animosity, more electricity...more horniness

“Queasy tap dance in my stomach”

Something about patch wasn’t right, something about him wasn’t normal, something about him wasn’t safe

“Biggest dream” “to kiss you” she doesn’t buy it so like good for her but still blech

Patch says he’s never been to school before and nora’s like you’re a liar

And he says he came because of her

He says “those cold pale grey eyes” are surprisingly irresistible

There are almost zero connections between what she’s saying and what he’s saying, as if he’s having a conversation with himself...it’s really hard to follow

“And that killer curvy mouth” ew

“You seem to know a lot about me,” i said, making the understatement of the year.

“Say provoke again, your mouth looks provocative when you do”

Her jaw twitches when she lies

He has a birthmark in the same place she has a scar...soulmate shit fer shure

She says after her dad died a strange presence felt like it was “orbiting her world, watching her from a distance” like...a guardian angel perhaps

She feels someone in the house with her and i’m calling it now: patch is “Watching over” her

CHAPTER 3

She’s trying to come up with reasons for patch not to be her partner anymore...he fucking ADMITTED TO TAKING PHOTOS OF YOU AND STUDYING YOU AND BASICALLY STALKING YOU. IF THE COACH WON’T LISTEN GO TO THE PRINCIPAL ABOUT THAT SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

She’s anemic and has to take iron multiple times...a day??

“What qualities are you attracted to in a potential mate?” asks the teacher

She’s not ready so patch answers, “intelligent, attractive, vulnerable”

“How do you indicate if a female is interested?” and patch says, “if she’s biting her lip and playing with her hair the way nora is doing right now” lmao

“She’s game”

He puts his arm on the back of her chair and mouths “vulnerable” and while i would literally call the cops on a man for this, it was kind of hot in context

She tells coach she feels uncomfortable sitting by patch and he’s like, “not only are you gonna keep sitting by him i actually need you to tutor him.”

Fire this fucking guy IMMEDIATELY.

How lazy is this writing becca. How lazy. You couldn’t think of any other ways to make them spend more time together??

She and V go to the movies to write a review for the e-zine and v says: “can you imagine living your whole life without a clue that the only reason you’re being kept alive is to be used as a sacrifice?”

Do you smell that? The foreshadowing

V says patch’s dark side calls to her and nora is thinking, yeah no shit.

There was a dark magnetism, i felt lured to the edge of danger, at any moment it felt like he could push me over the edge.

Edge twice in the same sentence, crave’s editor has been in the game since 2009 apparently

V’s basically like nora you’re not attracted to anyone and nora’s like i haven’t found love and v’s like it’s about fun not love dumbdum

V says Patch would probably be “really good”

Nora says patch isn’t good for v and v says, “Careful, you’ll only make me want him more” and i’m like...i know this book came out when i was a freshman but somehow, becca fitzpatrick managed to put me from sophomore year in this book lmao

Marcy a cheerleader with “half a bottle of foundation on” and “¾ of an inch between her skirt and underwear, if she was wearing any” sits beside them

Yikes

She calls V supersize: YIKES

Marcy’s being a dick to V and V just goes, “you have food stuck in your teeth, chocolate ex-lax maybe?” i love this so much

Patch is at the library…

V’s like “i’m trying to read the title he’s checking out...how to be a stalker?” lmao i love V

V thinks patch is following nora but she’s kind of into it lmaoooo

Nora’s like he’s alluring but also fucking scary

She hits someone during a storm on the way home

He’s wearing a ski mask?!??!?!?!?

The car died oh my gooooooood

He’s tearing the door off??!?!?!!?

He punches through the window!!!!!!!!!

CHAPTER 4

She’s like totally freaking out but doesn’t wanna tell V that a dude almost tore the door off the car

She goes to V’s to avoid being alone

When she and v examine the damage...there is none…

She realizes the eyes behind the ski mask were black like patch’s eyes

She can’t remember hardly anything about the crash which is freaking her out

They meet some dudes called elliot and jules who is SIX FOOT TEN

They are probably other fallen angels that are after nora, and then elliott says he just transferred to their school from the prep school as of today, so yeah, this is what’s happening

Also...it’s fucking april. Who transfers schools in april

“You smell good” “it’s called a shower” lol

They’re having like an “are you following me” talk during the quiz

“I wanted my life to go back to the way it was before patch barged into my life”

I truly don’t know if it’s the delivery of the audiobook narrators that is making this issue SO GLARING to me but jfc

She confronts him after class to talk patch into asking to switch seats but he’s like “nah you’ve grown on me”

V really wants to sleuth around and read Patch’s file

CHAPTER 5

they go to the nurse’s office using nora’s iron pills as a distraction to get into the files in the front office

Nora needs to register her iron pills with the nurse...it is april...she has been taking pills out of her backpack all year...no one cared???

She says this is all because she thinks patch is stalking her - which no shit he admitted to taking pictures of you…

V called in a bomb threat from the pay phone outside!!!!!!! I’m fucking crying

Also if you guys don’t know what pay phones are, let me know

She’s trying to punch through the window in the door!!!!! V is the fucking greatest

IT WAS UNLOCKED ANYWAAAAAAY I’M SCREAMING

“As patch’s biology partner, i had a right to know”

The principal caught her but doesn’t suspect her

She meets back up with v at a mexican restaurant

The one patch works at!!!!!!

He asks her what she’s doing sunday night

“You’re getting cocky. I like that, angel” - bleck

“Not on a date, not alone” a hot thrill upon speculating what a night alone with patch would entail

Bitch!!!!!!! You just committed a crime to find out if this dude is STALKING YOU but you still wanna fuck him???????????

“Did you just call me angel? I don’t like it.” “it stays, angel” negging asshole

He brushes his thumb on her mouth and says “you’d look better without lipgloss” HARDIN SCOTT HAS ENTERED THE CHAT

“Interested? We’re talking about you, i’m fascinated.”

“You aren’t ready to know me”

I looked in your student file - BITCH. NORA. IF HE IS STALKING YOU. AND YOU FOUND OUT SOMETHING SERIOUS IN HIS FILE. THAT GIVES HIM SOOOOOO MUCH CAUSE TO LIKE...MURDER YOU?!

It’s totally empty. “I’m going to expose you” “i look forward to it”

“Why are you looking at me?” “because you’re nothing like what i expected” “neither are you, you’re worse”

CHAPTER 6

Elliott is in her gym class

The fog seemed to clog my lungs...fog and clog...don’t like it

Marcy miller… “that’s because you haven’t met anyone better, like me.” marcy twisted her hair around her finger. “You’ll hear all about me soon.”

He calls her gray, her last name, which is a trope i thoroughly enjoy

We describe marcy’s smile as toxic twice in 2 paragraphs

Elliott comes up behind her to help her with her batting stance

“Let me show you, like this, you feel that? Relax” EXCUSE ME

She hears her name in her mind said in someone else’s voice, it’s patch

“Batting lessons, nice touch” elliott is TOTALLY a rival angel guy

“I told myself i imagined the words because the alternative was considering that patch held the power to channel thoughts into my mind. Which couldn’t be. It just couldn’t.” this type of stuff makes me roll my eyes.

“Not yet” she hears in her mind, and ends up slamming it out of the park

She gets smashed in the head with the glove and ball, ouch

Elliott blows on her scraped kneeeeeeeee

“Had he talked directly to my thoughts? Was there some inexplicable link between us that allowed it happen? Or was i losing my mind?” meh

Elliott “i’m not gonna chase after an unavailable girl”

He invites her on a date

CHAPTER 7

There’s a convo with the housekeeper about “reinventing the sexy side” and not changing yourself for a boy…

V calls and is like “let’s go to the party on the coast”

Driving moccasins?

Damn V is like “you look like a boy, put some lipstick on”

And Nora isn’t wearing makeup because patch planted the idea in her mind - NEGGING!!!!!!!

The delphic coast sounds like a blast

The new ride is called the arcangel lmao

Patch is at the arcade omg

Jules looks as enthusiastic as three day old meatloaf - this is a very weird metaphor but i don’t mind it much?? It would have bothered me in crave but there haven’t been many in this book so far so it’s not like completely pulling me out of the moment

It’s a new day, and today, the name patch is really irking me. It sounds like a dog

V is STIRRING THE POT between Elliott and Patch god i love her soooo much

Elliott wants to talk to patch about leaving nora alone!!!!

V is a messy bitch who lives for dramaaaaaaaa

Nora goes to talk to patch so elliott won’t start shit

“He was tall and lean and hard and i was sure he had street fight scars under his clothes...not that i wanted to look under his clothes” LMAO

She asks what he’s playing and he says, “baseball, wanna stand behind me and give me a few pointers?” LMAOOOOO he hates elliott so muuuuch

Patch challenges her to a pool game, she punches his arm, he says “Careful they might think we’re flirting” this guy is MADDENING

“Part of me wanted to run away from him screaming fire, the other wanted to see how close i could get without...combusting” AHHHHHHH

He’s talking to her in her thoughts and then being like, “you know that sounds crazy don’t you?” GASLIGHT CENTRAL

“You scare me, and you’re not good for me” “i could change your mind”

“Meet me at the arcangel, i’ll be waiting”

CHAPTER 8

Nora goes to get cotton candy and sees the arcangel, and she goes

She gets the “cold heart-stopping feeling that someone is watching her” and spots a hooded figure

She runs into patch and he’s like “if you keep running away from me, you’re never gonna figure out what’s going on” and she’s been drinking dumb bitch juice so she’s like OHKAY.

Now she’s not scared of the arcangel because patch makes her feel safe...no he DOESN’T?!?!?!?!?

“If you ride without screaming, i’ll get coach to switch our seats” why do i feel like this is gonna be that scene in the movie fear where they hook up at the top of the ferris wheel

“I don’t scream, not for carnival rides.” not for you is her inner voice i assume and ommggggg

He sits in a car that shows demons ripping the wings off an angel, an angel sitting on a gravestone and watching children, then possessing a little girl

Okay foreshadowing

“Scared, angel?”

Our car flew demonically fast - we get it

Her seatbelt came undone and she fell out!!!!!!!

Oh wait...she didn’t? She ended up grabbing him and screaming??

CHAPTER 9

He offers her a drink from his soda can and she’s like “ooh my mouth where his mouth is”

Her phone is dead so she hitches a ride with patch...did he kill her phone with angel powers somehow??

V had left her!!!!?????

Ooh or did the boys kidnap her??

So she’s sure the mind-talking is real but not sure if the guy in the mask or the falling off the coaster is real…

Patch rides a motorcycle because ofc

He takes her home and then has her keys in his hand somehow

He is totally fucking with her, the key won’t turn if she uses it but he can get it to work

“Go ahead, i’m home alone” immediately i realized it wasn’t a smart thing to say

Self preservation has left the chat!!!!!!!! The same boy you thought was stalking you 3 days ago, you just told him you are home alone...dumb bitch juice

“Dorothea will be here soon. She’s old but strong, very strong” You would absolutely be the first to die in a horror movie, nora

He comes inside without her inviting him so he can make her tacos

He...knows where her kitchen is...fuck no

She is scared of him having a knife but also...goes over to him so he can show her how to make tacos…

So idk if most teens are so horny they’re literally willing to die for it, because i was on antidepressants when i was grace’s age and i had no desire to get busy...please let me know in the comments below if you ever went from scared of a dude to wanting to bone him at breakneck speed the way nora continually does in this book

“I’ll answer your questions if you make tacos”

This is a VERY horny scene where he stands right behind her and like whispers in her ear how to cut the tomato…

“Did you follow me to the library?” he smiles and she’s like OH FUCK I WANNA KISS HIM RIGHT NOW

NORA!!!!!!!!! FOCUS

“Scared?” “no” “maybe i’m just scared of -” “liking me?” “yes...wait no”

“I feel a scary attraction to you”

He lifted her onto the counter!!!!!

“You should go” “go here?” his mouth went to my shoulder “or here?” it moved up my neck AHHHHHHHHHHH

Her mom calls and she’s like “can i call you back?” her mom says “sure what’s wrong” and she HANGS UP LMAOOOOOOO

UMMMM THOUGHT HER PHONE WAS DEAD?!?!?!?

CHAPTER 10

V calls her and is like “i was looking for you all night” and nora is like “ummmm no you fucking left me???” and v’s like “DID Y’ALL KISS?!”

“I’ll pick you up at 4” “thought we were meeting at 5?” “circumstances have changed” lmao V for president tbh

We get a weird story about lionel dorothea’s godson daring nora to lick a broken piece of glass, “falling for patch would be like licking that shard”

This is the WEIRDEST analogy i think i have ever heard…

This is a first draft analogy for sure

She acknowledged that her phone had been dead so wtf happened

They go to victoria’s secret and she’s like “ooh sexy stuff ooh patch” wait i shouldn’t be thinking about dangerous patch

“I secretly enjoyed the attraction between us but the eeriness outweighed it” ma’am are you trying to lie to yourself or the reader because 1. It’s not a secret, 2. We (i) keep SCREAMING at you to have a shred of self-preservation but you threw it away for tacos

I’m going to flush patch out of my system like a detox diet, except last time i did that i binged” welp...i’m sure that’s not a sign…

Lmao V tries to take the clearance stickers off the clearance bras and puts them on the nice ones I LOVE HER SO MUCH

The hooded guy is watching her from outside…

But he’s gone before V sees him

V develops a diversion to get the hooded guy to follow her...but they can tell it’s actually a girl…

V gets hurt?!?!?!?!

CHAPTER 11

V is in the hospital with a BROKEN ARM THAT NEEDS SURGERY!!!!!

Patch is absent…

She goes to the new school psych...WHY ARE THERE SO MANY NEW PEOPLE COMING IN APRIL!!!!

She’s def also an angel

She brings up that nora is supposed to be tutoring patch and is like “all tutoring should be under adult supervision, and i don’t want you meeting alone” um...thank you for being reasonable because this dude is creepy but ALSO. Just...don’t have her tutor him…?

She goes to the computer lab in the library to look up reviews but then she’s like “i should google patch” but nothing

“No facebook, no myspace” OH MYSPACE!!!!!

She comes across a kinghorn prep article about a hanging, and finds out elliott was with the victim on the night of her death

Elliott is right behind her!!!!!

“Something cold flushed through me, like a blush, only opposite”

He’s like “Call your mom and tell her you’re taking too long at homework” and she’s like STRANGER DANGER

~~~

#hush hush #becca fitzpatrick #patch cipriano #nora grey #cringe review #cringe books #negative review #book review #booktube

[vrenaewrites]

CRAVE by Tracy Wolff thoughts: Ch 49 - end

Full video here.

Ch 49: eventually the world breaks everyone

Oranges and deep water again.

She says he can tell her anything “my words aren’t sexy or slick but they are sincere” and I said “aw” out loud

Jaxon killed Hudson!

She says she didn’t believe he meant to and he’s like intentions don’t matter when you can do this and then starts destroying the room

Jaxon is now the soon to be vampire king after killing Hudson

“No one is as powerful as me”

Hudson wanted to get mo money mo power

He literally paraphrases Jurassic park here: he got so wrapped up in the could that he didn’t think about if hen should

Hudson wanted to put the shifters in their place - and then anyone who wasn’t a born vampire - and jaxon considered that genocide

Hudson’s power was mind control

His pain makes her ache more than she even ached for her dead parents who just died last month wtf?!

So people wanna hurt grace because “you’re mine” as jaxon puts it

“We’re balancing on a razor thin tightrope, and every minute is a balancing act.” READ IT OUT LOUD GODDAMN IT

“You wear indifference like a mask, you wield coldness like a weapon.” No one in the history of the world talks like this, especially not someone who was just saying “af and fml” 10 chapters ago 

Ch 50: people who live in stone towers should never throw dragons

They have a real sexy kiss

Jaxon believes flint is trying to kill her!!!! Which yeah now knowing that jaxon killed flints brother or was the reason he died rather, makes sense! Except flint seems to like her too??

Jaxon pushed flint out of the tree under grace

Then they kissing AGAIN SHE IN HIS LAP!!!!!

Her uncle shows up and she tried to fix herself in the mirror but there isn’t one lol

She asks how he can see himself and he says “selfie anyone?” And I throw up

She just referenced baby yoda. G2g

“Thanks for rushing to let me in” “grace had to get her clothes back on” asshole but also lmao

Ch 51: trial by dragon fire

We’re reading hamlet again…

She confronts flint and flint calls jaxon a tick lmaooooo

“Aren’t you the one who’s been trying to kill me?” “It’s not for the reasons you think, if you would just trust me” - SIR THAT IS NOT A VALID ARGUMENT

We love Mickey so much

Flint doesn’t wanna talk to grace in front of a vampire

Ch 52: if you can’t live without me, why aren’t you dead yet?

She’s in the tunnel with Mickey and she realizes how much safer she feels with him than flint

She’s realized that her intuition is heightened here you mean that thing you were ignoring this entire book??

Mickey reiterates that Grace is a target because Jaxon cares about her which makes what he was saying about a target on her back make a lot more sense

Mickey pretty much confirms what Jackson said about Hudson so we get to hear it all over again

Leah shows up and her and Mickey don’t like each other

Leah says I’d say bite me but I don’t know where you’ve been and Mickey replies I would catch rabies if I bit you LOL

She hugs Mickey and Mickey pats her head like a dog lmaooooooo

Leah says making plans is not Jackson’s modus operandi instead of just saying his MO like a normal person

She texts him “I like it when you bite” and he replies “good because I like the way you taste” and I threw up in my mouth

Not to mention the fact that she immediately texted Jackson that she would go to his room tonight when she seconds before that agreed to hang out with Leah who is clearly grieving and needs a friend...which is not grace

Ch 53: if this kiss is gonna start a war it may as well be worth it

Grace is getting ready to go to Jackson’s room for their date and I have a lot of thoughts and feelings on the extremely lax rules regarding girls and boys and every other gender being allowed in each others room it doesn’t make sense why is everyone not pregnant

She puts on one of Macy’s dresses and Macy tugs it down to get it over her “ridiculous curves“ She described her own curves as ridiculous and I am all for being body positive but saying you have a banging ass is a little much

Macy says that grace “lusts after Jackson’s sexy sexy body”

I will say that I am 100% here for the sex positivity rather than the tortured virgin shit we dealt with for all of the twilight series

Ch 54: what could possibly be more interesting than kissing me?

It’s the northern lights!!!!!!

“Wrapping his arms around me so that I am snuggled up in the blanket and his arms“ once again for the love of God read it out loud and realize that using the same word that close in one sentence is clunky and distracting please

She says they kiss “until the colors behind my eyes are brighter than the aurora borealis, until it feels like I’m flying“

He takes her like 100 feet above the castle so that they feel like they’re within the northern lights

And they stay up there for a long time and again I just want to know why he wasn’t just a witch I don’t understand

She says Jackson drops kisses on her eyes that’s not how that works

He gives her a necklace with an Aurora borealis stone how cute!

She says “it’s beautiful” and he says “then you’re well matched” which is so cute and then she says “oh my god you’re sappy” and he says “well you’re ridiculously beautiful”

and again we were so close and then we tripped at the finish line

He makes her tea to warm her up (Leah’s tea aw they’re making amends)

He sex bites her again, she begs for it

And then loses his shit?!?

Ch 55: no use crying over spilled tea

So he bit her and drank a lot of her blood because she’s super woozy and she’s like I got to get out of here not so I can live but because if he kills me he will feel really bad about it self-preservation has left the chat

She runs into Leah and Leah smacks the shit out of her and then tells her to sit down...what?!

I thought Leah poisoned the tea earlier in the book I am calling it now that she put something in the tea to make Jackson lose his shit

Leah pulls out a gun and shoots Jackson…

Ch 56: vampire girl gone wild

Leah shoots her with the gun

Ch 57: double double toil and a whole lotta trouble

I’m just gonna say that the moment Leah mentioned that she and Jackson were supposed to carry on an ancient vampire alliance by being together that Grace should have known not to fuck with Leah on any level

Grace wakes up tied to some kind of slab

“For the first time I understand why an animal caught in a trap would be willing to chew its own foot off” but then she continues it with more long winded explanation of what that means when that would’ve been a very powerful line to just leave on its own conveying her desperation

She gets a hand free, then the other, the one ankle, then she hears Leah scream

She’s super woozy and trying to escape but she hears Leah screaming and fighting with someone and she decides to go see if it’s Jackson if he needs her help... how in the fuck are you going to help anybody, Grace

The candles all light at once

Ch 58: never do a trust fall with someone who can fly

There’s a dragon after her!

So for some reason the author decided to take any sort of tension/ horror/ fear out of this section and just ramble on and on about “I’m really tired of getting dragged around by supernatural creatures and San Diego never seemed so far away” just focus on the terror this could be really really scary being flown around in a dragons talons while a vampire chases after you

They fall and she hurts her shoulder

“And here I thought Alaska would be boring” you know what is boring? this entire chapter because instead of letting me the reader sit in the terror and tension of a dragon vampire battle you keep making fucking little quips and remarks like...she’s a human being she should be afraid not like irritated by the situation

Leah punches a hole through flints wing ouch

“The tunnel that will take me back to the school’s main building, the tunnel that will take me back to Katmere“ that’s the same sentence twice John Mulaney voice

Flint stops her from leaving: Leah killed her parents to get her here, for some kind of end the world ritual, that jaxon is involved

Flint starts choking her “you have to die before she can finish this”

Ch 59: carpe killem

No!

Jaxon gets flint off grace via tk

“He just stares down a freaking dragon like it’s a gecko”

Leah catches up with her

Ch 60: some call it paranoia but I call it an evil bitch trying to use you as a sacrifice

….that’s a paragraph

“Which dazes my already not functioning so great brain” i’m not gonna say it again read your writing out loud

Leah is dragging her by her hair and she’s like if I survive this I hope I’m not bald afterward...that’s what you’re worried about??

As she’s being walked down this Secret hallway by Leah she’s getting more and more mad thinking about how Leah killed her parents and is playing God with her life now and I’m just wondering why does she just believe Flint out of nowhere?

She says FML and Leah’s too

She smashes Leah’s head on the altar and goes for the book on the altar, and burns the spell

Ch 61: sticks and stones may break your bones, but vampires will kill you

Leah wants to bring Hudson back by killing grace, who she says is not human

Jaxon gets in

We use the word sickening 4 times during one fight scene, casual

Ch 62: where there’s smoke, there’s a dead vampire

She breathes in the black Hudson smoke but jaxon stops her

Jaxon creates like a vortex to absorb it instead

He throws it at Leah and she turns to dust?!

She gives him her blood because he’s practically dead

Ch 63: a bite to remember

Gooooo fuck yaself

She’s been asleep in the infirmary for 2 days

He’s feeling all angsty about drinking so much of her blood

His mom left the scar on his face not Hudson

They say they love each other but he says he doesn’t think this can work because there’s still gonna be people who want to hurt her because of him

But she’s able to kind of convince him to let himself be loved

Ch 64: all’s well that ends with marshmallows

Civil twilight AGAIN

they go into the forest and drink hot cocoa

So the school only serves animal blood, which allows the vampires to go out during the day, but if they drink human blood, they can only come out at night

And he explains it like an insulin spike, except a spike in a hormone that makes it impossible for him to be in the sun

They’re out there to build a snowman

“Openly checking out his very fine ass” EW jimmy fallon voice

Ch 65: why can’t a girl just have an ordinary HEA these days?

“Hey you didn’t tell me the punchline of the pirate joke”

Suddenly Hudson is there with a sword, and she turns jaxon so she’s between him and the sword and this happens in like 3 sentences

Ch 66: zero - she persisted - Jaxon

Grace has turned into…?

A gargoyle!?!?!?!?

Because she’s trying to trap Hudson or keep him at bay?

And jaxon vows to save her

We used all of the fucks allowed in this one chapter, for sure

What the fuuuuuuuck

#reading #book review #cringe books #booktube #crave #tracy wolff #jaxon vega #negative review

[vrenaewrites]

CRAVE by Tracy Wolff thoughts: Ch 22 - ch 48

Full video here.

CH 22: Baby, it’s hot in here

Like, baby it’s cold outside?

Sooooo much internal monologuing about her first boyfriend and how no one has made her feel like Jaxon does…

“The big picture is that the most popular boys in school are obsessed with you”

“He looks at you like it physically hurts him not to be touching you. Baby, if he wanted you anymore he’d spontaneously combust”

Macy wants the tea about her and Jaxon

She says flint and him had a “massive pissing contest over her” lmao

“Are you trying to be reassuring or scare me?” “yes”

She tells heather ttyf? Am i stupid??? What does that mean?

TALK TO YOU FOREVER?!?!?!?!?!?!!?!?!?

“It sounds like every cliche in the book, but he’s different around you. Somehow less intense, but more intense.”

“You can trust me, we’re family” and grace almost starts crying :(

CH 23: never bring an ice cream scoop to a gunfight

Macy FINALLY comes clean re: flint and jaxon are mortal enemies

“What is this the breakfast club? Even they figured out they could all get along” grace just be quiet and let the girl who actually knows wtf is up at this school tell you wtf is up. You been wanting her to talk for so long, be quiet.

Ooh something big happened a year ago that made them all break up into factions

It’s about hudson jaxon’s brother!

Or is his name spelled Hyudsin because stupid spellings

Ooh macy warned grace not to become the chew toy between flint and jaxon

CH 24: waffles are the way to a girl’s everything

I want to hate this but i fucking love waffles so like…

Someone’s texting her about her ankle...i thought it was jaxon...AND IT IS!

“I don’t know the punchline to whatever knock knock joke you’re setting up” I BURST OUT LAUGHING BECAUSE “he’s funny over text” ma’am...this isn’t funny? Maybe a lil snarky, but funny?

Now she’s telling jokes over text and we’re having a whole long stupid text fucking exchange….i hate this so much

Then he tries, “what do you get when you cross a vampire and a snowman? Frostbite” and my soul leaves my body because what in the 8th grade twilight fanfiction is happening…

She texts him brb instead of just responding when when she was done peeing and then he stops answering her, this used to happen to me with the toxic dudes i talked to in high school...am i reading too much into this? Idk yet

And then she’s spiraling about why he stopped texting and UGH I REMEMBER THIS FEELING!!!!!!!!!

Jaxon has food sent up to her room from the...cafeteria? Wtf…

He says he doesn’t like the food and she says “So what do you like to eat” and then is like “wow that sounded suggestive” lmao

And he says “i don’t think we’re there yet but let me know when we are” WHAT DOES THAT MEAN

CH 25: truly madly deeply bitten

And we’re really just gonna keep texting 21 questions

She loves tatbilb...i mean same lana condor is the loml, but

Jaxon loves rogue one………

I don’t care AT ALL. NOT ONE BIT DO I CARE, TRACY WOLFF.

“I wish i could ask the real jaxon vega to please stand up” i rolled my eyes but i also giggled

“You suck” “you have no idea how much” i threw up in my mouth.

Niall horan reference, hozier reference, rhianna reference

JAXON’S. FAVORITE. SONG. IS. TRULY. MADLY. DEEPLY.

INSERT SNAPCHAT OF ME CRYING LAUGHING HERE

Gambino reference, beethoven reference???, and then brown-eyed girl which personally offends me because my mom used to sing that to me

This makes her hands shake

She plays brown eyed girl a bunch of times

Then another woman comes to deliver a package to grace...from jaxon...it’s a library book

It’s twilight

Insert snap of me screaming stfu here

Macy is laughing her ass off about this because she isn’t stupid, she knows what jaxon is

And grace says she never read it when it was popular all those years ago…

Baby you said you liked reading. No way did you survive middle school without reading it.

And then he shows up!!!!!

She makes a shitty joke to lighten to the mood

He’s massaging her hurt ankle...oh shiiii

They ALMOST kiss

He gives her a little note wrapped in a ribbon

“I wonder how i’m going to keep this beautiful, broken boy from cracking my already battered heart wide open”

Hades voice: we were so CLOSE!

CH 26: the uniform doesn’t make the woman, but it sure brings out the insecurities

He ripped a page out of anais nin’s journals that says some shit like “i dreamed you, i wished for you”

So cute sentiment but you ripped a book my dude? Cardinal sin

Grace is finally going to class

The cafeteria is goth as fuuuuck

The music is “creepy af”

Jaxon sits next to her in front of everyone

CH 27: 10 degree weather gives a whole new meaning to “the cool kid’s table”

He sits in the super ornate chair backwards and it makes her horny

The order is kind of ragging on jaxon about being cute to grace which is funny

We get all the dude’s names at one - raphael luca liam mickey?? I think

“A dark and devastating desperation” in his eyes

And then we got byron who’s more angsty than jaxon - “mad bad and dangerous to know” just like his namesake

CH 28: “to be or not to be is a question, not a pick-up line”

Jaxon walks her to class

Wanting him feels like opening a vein

“I love the way your hair smells”

“My heart is beating like a heavy metal drummer”

We were so close!!!!!!!!!

We’re doing hamlet in class ofc

The teacher says “although you look like the shy type despite your association with katmere’s most notorious student”

Instead of just saying the halls are like playing frogger she describes the old video game where you try to get the frog across the road...is it just people in the south that say playing frogger when describing crossing traffic? Or is this a well known phrase??

Apparently there’s hidden tunnels so flint takes her to them

Her intuition is like BITCH DON’T GO IN THE TUNNELS but she ignores it AGAIN

CH 29: with friends like these, everyone needs hard hats

There are beds with shackles?!?!?!?!

Leah shows up and turns out they’re going to the same class? But flint insists on walking her to class…

Leah and flint are NOT friendly

Damn she offends flint with a buffalo bill joke

There’s bones in the tunnels and a giant chandelier in the rotunda that’s also made of bones…

There’s an earthquake!

CH 30: you make the earth shake under my feet, and everywhere else too

And it stops as soon as they get out of the tunnel

Jaxon is there and being a dick to flint and grace has HAD it

CH 31: big girls don’t cry, unless they want to

Grace gets hit with a basketball in gym

All the order has been walking her to class because jaxon knew she was mad at him

Does jaxon cause the earthquakes somehow?

She finally reads the texts jaxon had sent and feels bad for being mad at him when he was just worried - no he acted like a dick. Be mad.

She’s making sooooo many excuses for his anger: the earthquake, the fact that he’s already rescued her before so of course he’s worried…

Aww a student is playing autumn leaves which was her dad’s favorite song :(

She starts to boo-hoo “grief is a wild thing within me”

Civil twilight AGAIN

Jaxon is standing there when she finally stops

CH 32: it’s not a coincidence that denali and denial use all the same letters

He opens the door in the alcove and it’s like a clubhouse? Oh it’s his dorm room???? Confusion

So it’s like the living room and NOW he’s leading her into his bedroom

She says she’s terrified of him touching her because of the intensity but then says she has no trepidations about doing or being anywhere with him...ya just said...nvm

They go out to the roof

CH 33: Madonna’s not the only one with a lucky star

Please decide if grace is a silly teen who doesn’t know what frogger is or an old soul who loves madonna pls

She asks if he’s an alien…

And she tells him he’s the hottest person ever and that his scar makes him sexy as hell and he's all like “me?!” which is a nice role reversal

This is his favorite place

And there's a meteor shower!!

CH 34: all’s fair in love and earthquakes

Thanks i hate this

When she touches him she realizes how cold he is and thinks it’s from being outside which makes him act all weird

Someone please just tell this girl what’s going on!!!!!!!!! I HATE when the reader is 8,000 steps ahead of the MC

“A craving in his eyes” WE’VE SAID THE TITLE FOLKS!

She makes the move to close the space and says she’s dazzled, GUYS

She’s making the MOVE! “Did you ever want something but you were scared of taking it?” “yes” “what did you do” “i took it anyway” and then he kisses her!!!!!!

The kiss is as soft as a snowflake, as delicate as the permafrost

Then “his mouth goes crazy on mine lips tongue teeth, it’s a cacophony of sensations, a riot of pleasure”

“My knees go weak at his tongue on mine, just like one of those heroines in a novel”

His hands are vices on my biceps...his hands were around her back at first which seems way more romantic than manhandling her arms??

There’s an earthquake...and jaxon is like you have to go

A window breaks and cuts her and then she blacks out????

CH 35: baked alaska is more than just a yummy dessert

Intimidating af is the nurse

The glass nicked her artery!!!!!! The FUCK. or did jaxon bite her?????

Her mom died like that… yikes on bikes

He fucking bit her...this is a lie...i’m calling it…

FINN ABOUT TO COME CLEAN!!!...but the nurse stops him.

Macy is an OG bff she is the best

Or is grace the one making shit happen??

Grace notices the sheets are fixed but that macy never went to the bed

Macy asked what they were doing when the earthquake hit...WHY

CH 36: no harm, all foul

Grace goes after Jaxon and he’s like “our kiss didn’t matter”

He says he put her in a lot of danger by being around her, a “target on her back” and wants her to stay away from him but he can’t pull himself away

But then he does

CH 37: don’t ask the question if you can’t handle the answer

Leah drops the bomb that she and Jaxon are expected to carry on like a family dynasty sitch since Hudson died

CH 38: nothing says “i like you” like a fang to the throat

She’s freaking out of course

Mickey says jaxon def didn’t bit her and she’s even more confused and me too

Jaxon is in the mountains...he wants her to wait but she’s pissed

“I take a deep breath and hold onto it with both hands” ….?????

Because i have to hear it out loud, “what did make these marks?”

Say it, out loud

CH 39: there’s never a hallucinogen around when you need one

She’s furious and she should be! I’m glad she’s not replying to Jaxon

We finally get to the bottom of it all!!!!!!

Macy admits Jaxon is a vampire

Leah is one too!!!!

Flint is a dragon!!!!! CALLED IT

He’s got fire? With a name like flint how could he not PUKE

“Who needs LSD when you go to monster high?” Shut UP

Macy is a witch DUH

“You should have been one too”

CH 40: be careful what you witch for

GO FUCK YOURSELF WITH THIS TITLE

Grace’s dad was a warlock but he lost his power when he fell for grace’s mom...oh no was their accident like a magical mafia hit??

“What kind of witch are you if you can’t do something an 11 year old can?” “the kind that doesn’t come from JK Rowling’s brilliant imagination”...THAT aged poorly…

“This is a less bloody version of game of thrones” shut UP

The school nurse bit her because jaxon used his vampire venom to heal her cut, and it worked too well so she needed to cut through the healed skin with her vampire teeth

Because this is twilight satire so of course they have venom…

“So vampires can just override each other’s venom?”

Most of the vamps would have had a hard time not draining you dry, but not jaxon

I absolutely called it: witches, vampires, dragons, and werewolves confirmed.

CH 41: Vampires dragon and werewolves, oh my

This physically hurts

She’s kind of categorizing the students now that she knows which is totally something i would do

God almighty is flint just a jacob clone…

CH 42: good thing pancakes aren’t on today’s menu

The chandelier is falling onto her and someone pushes her out of the way - it’s jaxon!

His eyes smolder at her

She dresses his cut on his head and his arm

“I wouldn’t have had to save you if you were in your room where i told you to be” he grinds the last part out through clenched teeth

He finally lays it out that someone has been getting her hurt on purpose

CH 43: what doesn’t kill you still scares the hell out of you

Her uncle wants to talk to her before she sees jaxon again and i smell an info dump coming

Dangerous af

“Macy told me she spilled all the tea” said her UNCLE with no hint of like “is that what you kids say these days”. GTFO

“I wait for the other shoe to drop even though 100 have already fallen” that’s not how that idiom works

She’s like “how could he think i wouldn’t figure it out i knew something was wrong” no ma’am! No you didn’t!! You kept shrugging it off until chapter 24 at the EARLIEST when you settled on aliens

Getting the tea on the turf war between dragons and vampires - so it’s not like twilight because it’s not the werewolves. Whatever.

Uncle says it was probably some witch who got too loose with her powers and grace is like yeah no absolutely no one is trying to kill me it was yet ANOTHER freak accident

Uncle wants to sent her back to cali

CH 44: Sweet home alaska

So she doesn’t wanna go because of jaxon, not because her only family in the world is in Alaska….

It’s only been a WEEK

“I know jaxon can be...seductive” says her UNCLE

the guys in the order are born vampires, not made, it’s a v big deal

Info dump city re how vampirism is a genetic mutation…

There are 6 ancient families of vampires...this all sounds like the first draft of my new wip where I was trying to figure out how the secret society worked…

Then he says he’s not in the habit of talking students with other students….we just did...this whole chapter…

Another earthquake???

Ch 45: I always knew there was fire between us, I just didn’t know it was your breath

Dude shut up

She goes to the library and wonders if the books about vampires etc would be under non fiction or biology lmao

The librarian is a native Alaskan with elemental magic….yikes

She does a weird eye swirling “you’re more than you think you are” thing to grace

Flints in the library and she asks him about dragons and I swear to god if we get a chapter devoted to learning about each species via info dump I will burn this place to the ground

He singes the marshmallow with his fire breath, loves it

And he can breathe ice? He cools the water down

He can bloom flowers in his hand????

“They’re beautiful” “you’re beautiful” “but I’m not hitting on you??”

Because when I hit on you, it’ll be because you want me to!!!!! We Stan flint!!!

Ch 46: I’ll get you and your little dog too

Enough

Dry throat around flint now, oh shiiiiiii

Oh shit the order is on the move!! There’s trouble

She chases them into a classroom and sees jaxon making shit fly everywhere with just his mind...is he a vampire and a witch??

There’s a werewolf vampire brawl

Damn jaxon can freeze everyone with his mind!

She tries to stop him but he’s put up a barrier

She breaks through!!!!

And jaxon bites cole!!!!!!! ALMOST KILLS COLE!!!!!!!!!!!

“This is your only warning”

CH 47: the first bite is the deepest

Jaxon pulls grace away, this whole time grace’s inner monologue is her feeling responsible for the carnage

“I won’t hurt you” “I know” “you know? do you have a death wish?”

But jaxon is so disgusted at himself that she's just like “well did he deserve to almost be killed?” She has accepted this shit with sociopathic speed

“The power you wield...it’s unfathomable” sis has turned the corner

“You don’t scare me jaxon”

They flipped the script and she breaks down his defenses and it’s kind of hot ngl

She tells him she needs him and he bites her??????

Ch 48: is that a wooden stake in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?

They’re getting worse

But it’s not a hurting bite it’s like a sex bite…like she describes an orgasm basically..

Then they kiss

The earthquakes are jaxon! Called it

At this point I am sooooo annoyed because just make him a witch!!!! We really wanted the twilight combo so badly we made him a telekinetic earth-shaking vampire?????????

They go to his room...and she goes to his drum kit instead of his bed, you dumb bitch

Now they’re talking in the bed

The jokes are just so fucking bad

He cuts them off by pulling her on top of him and kissing her!!! In bed!!!! We ain’t in twilight no more henny

“The kiss curls my toes but the yank curls everything else” wut

“I don’t want you anywhere near that world, and I sure as hell don’t want that world anywhere near you” - someone. Anyone. Take a second pass

~~~

#bookreviews #book review #cringe review #cringe books #crave #tracy wolff #jaxon vega #negative review #booktube

[vrenaewrites]

CRAVE by Tracy Wolff thoughts: Chapter 0 - 21

Full video here.

In which a mortal girls goes to her uncle’s boarding school after the death of her parents, and finds it full of creatures.

CH 0 for some reason: if you’re not living on the edge, you’re taking up too much space

“Try my hardest not to freak the eff out” - if you’re gonna use expletives, use them

Immediate info dump of “if you’d told me two months ago i was gonna be in fairbanks alaska to get a puddle jumper to denali, the highest mountain point in north america” 

CH 1: landing is just throwing yourself to the ground and hoping you don’t miss

I thought these quotes were weird self help quotes but then i realized they were probably the chapter titles

The fog is referred to as “civil twilight” - this weirded me out because civil blood and twilight, idk if this is a real thing? Will look it up if i remember: it is the brightest of the 3 twilight phases and it is ABUNDANTLY clear that she added the civil part to not make it straight up twilight because this book is unwitting twilight satire

He tells her it’s a short runway “because it’s hard to keep a long one clear of snow or ice for any amount of time” HE’S IN THE MIDDLE OF LANDING A PLANE ATM BRO WE DON’T NEED ALL OF THAT INFO ATM

Grace is kind of funny if not a little cheesy

“Textbook landing” - maybe if that textbook is a horror novel he’s reading upside down and backwards - i don’t know if by listening to this i’m missing the line breaks and short sentences that would make this funny, so if i am lemme know but if she didn’t break this up it’s clunky

Her uncle is headmaster of the boarding school she’s being sent to

“Despite being a year younger than my own 17 years” - did you not read this out loud? Did no one hear how redundant that was?

“According to wikipedia, heeley - hailey? - has only one major road” she’s mentioned google and wikipedia at this point and idk if i’m the only one who finds that type of thing annoying af

“In weather that’s 20 degrees below freezing, if the app on my phone can be believed” THIS IS SO ANNOYING

“The insulated helmet will keep you warm as well as protect your head if we crash” yes macy we know what helmets are and also insulation, again the redundancy

CH 2: Just because you live in a tower doesn’t make you a prince

“Is that kadmere academy?” i shout - not, is that it? They’re on a snowmobile, with helmets on, and macy understood her...and she understood macy saying they’d be there in five minutes

She couldn’t google the academy

“I half expected quasimodo to be waiting for us when we got there”

It may be a castle but at least there’s no moat or dragon

Macy has short rainbow-colored hair

She’s wikipedia’d and googled her life away but didn’t expect to not be able to breathe since she’s coming from sea level and is now up in the mountains - i’m from florida and even i know what altitude sickness is

She sees a flash of red in the window “i don’t know who it is or why they even matter” ...what does that mean?

But she doesn’t see them when she looks back and she’s disappointed, which she acknowledges makes no sense…

“I should be bowing and scraping right about now”

It’s a castle with an xbox and giant flat screen, and they have wifi AND cell service up in the desolate mountains. I went to cossayuna - 476 feet above sea level, 7 miles from a town - and NONE of us had cell service the entire time

She picks up a chess piece and it’s a carved vampire, then a dragon

Then she comes face to face with the most intimidating guy i’ve ever seen, not just because he’s hot, there’s something different and powerful though i don’t have a clue what it is”

Face too intense to be beautiful, skyscraper cheekbones????, red lips, stone-cutting jaw, bottomless obsidian eyes, obscene lashes

Trapped by his stare, hypnotized by the sheer magnetism rolling off him in waves

“Annoyance flashes through me”

He’s blocking her view of anything else - did he step between her and the chess board?? Confusion, but because of this she has to look at his long lean body

“Double-wide shoulders” gross

“Nothing to do but admit that this boy is sexy AF - a little wicked, a lot wild, and all dangerous”

“Seriously, when exactly did i become the heroine of some YA romance? The new girl swooning over the hottest, most unattainable boy in school?”

CH 3: vampire queens aren’t the only ones with a nasty bite

He quotes hamlet to her, and she corrects him for fucks sake

“I warned your uncle you wouldn’t be safe here, but he obviously doesn’t like you much”

“Welcome to alaska?” “more like welcome to hell, now get the fuck out”

“Ignoring the pterodactyls flying around in my stomach” - this is a great line if it didn’t take you completely out of the action, which it does

This whole exchange about big bad monsters is soooooo fucking cliche

And he’s talking about the chess pieces the whole time????? Am confusion.

She’s so horny for this insane man screaming at her and cornering her

She says she’s lost everything that matters and he changes, his agony visible behind “layers and layers of defenses he’s erected”

It’s calling to her own agony

They're soooo connected and staring at each other

He pulls on one of her curls and it makes her super horny

“Five minutes ago he was being a total douche to me”

Pushing him is like pushing a wall of granite

He’s got a scar down half his face that she didn’t notice until now????

“A fallen angel with a bad boy vibe for miles”

She’s touching his scar…

“I don’t understand you”

AND SHE QUOTES HIM QUOTING HAMLET IN RESPONSE

CH 4: shining armor is so last century

“Mr. tall dark and surly” would be more snarky and cute if she didn’t just have an ~earth-shattering moment of connection~ with him over their agony or w/e

Some weird instinct i don’t understand tells me not to mention that guy - the amount of times this girl has acknowledged something she doesn’t understand is so redundant and weird.

She keeps referring to the guy she spent half the last chapter basically falling in insta-love with as “tall dark and surly” as if that didn’t happen, as if he was just a dick and then he left without all the insta-love shit

Uncle finn and flint is a student...couldn’t pick any other name?

“A smile in his eyes that’s as different from the other guy’s iciness as the stars just outside the windows are from the endless midnight blue of the sky” and i’ve fallen asleep while she was spinning this long unending heavy-handed metaphor

His eyes blaze with sympathy

He offers to give her a piggyback up the stairs…

“You’re so little i won’t even notice” not lyk other girls guyz

Four guys open the door and they’re all sexy AF, tall dark and surly is among them ofc

“I couldn’t help but wonder why the icy guy made me hot and the one lending me his warmth left me cold” WE GET IT WE FUCKING GET IT WE DIDN’T NEED YOU TO SPELL OUT THE ALLUSION

“I want a name to go with his insane body and even more insane face”

CH 5: things hot pink and harry styles have in common

Macy is a cinnamon roll i love her

His name is JAXON VEGA...JAXON. G2G

Macy was so nice to her that she finally starts crying because macy is the BEST

Grace puts on a harry styles t-shirt and macy is dancing around to watermelon sugar when she comes back. This book already feels dated and it came out last month

CH 6: no i don’t really want to build a snowman

She wakes up in the middle of the night thinking about jaxon and almost has a panic attack

I hope in the actual book there is a tw for panic attacks because when i see / read about the symptoms of one or a description of one it triggers one for me

She goes exploring the castle in the dark to avoid the attack

Some guys come in wearing like concert tees and ripped jeans and she wonders if they’re ghosts, like how hogwarts has ghosts

I could swear he was sniffing me which was totally bizarre and not ghostlike behavior at all - this was cringe except i was listening to it at like 2x speed so when you hear it fast it’s actually funny

The guys corner her

They say something like “show us what you can do” and they seem to smell something about her…? They’re werewolves maybe??

CH 7: Something really freaking wicked this way comes

Hate these titles sfm

“With my thin california blood, i won’t last in the snow”

Jaxon saved her ofc and makes the guys apologize

“The moon is doing its thing” they’re totally werewolves

She thanks him and he’s like “i just made you a pawn in a game” and she’s like dude what but he’s staring at her and it’s making her hot and bothered

He wipes blood of her bottom lip and sucks it off and she finds it SUPER sexy

“This isn’t like your old high school”

He whispers in her ear “you have no idea what i know” and i’m like..okay dis kinda hot or whatever

She wonders when she’ll see him again and why it matters so much to her - bitch because he makes you horny!!!! Just say that!!!!!!

CH 8: Live and let die

It’s at this point that i stopped for the first round, and i had to ask: why the FUCK didn’t macy or the headmaster tell grace that this was a school for - obviously - vampires and werewolves? Is macy one? Is it genetic? Grace is a mortal according to the back of the book.

Grace tells macy what happened minus jax

She mentions to macy the boys didn’t have cold weather gear on and macy’s like hmmm weird idk anything about that

And they’re going to a party tonight and grace is like i don’t wear makeup i only own makeup and lip gloss and i’m like...did i accidentally re-download AFTER because here we go with the NLOG syndrome

The party is a welcome party for grace - and it’s actually a high tea??? Tf?

“I’d die without netflix”

“Have you seen this show legacies? It’s about a bunch of supernatural creatures that go to a boarding school! Isn’t that silly??!”

And then macy says, “who can resist a hot vampire?”

Guys….are we SURE this isn’t satire?

“I can’t help remembering what those guys said about the moon doing its thing when i see the werewolf on the show…”

CH 9: Even hell has its factions

Omg her dress is showing off too much of her big boobs, maybe the jeans she originally wanted to wear will be better

Macy calls her beautiful and then we get a full “with my curly hair and freckles and this color eyes i’m so not beautiful, i’m wallpaper next to macy”

“We could be fashionably absent” lol

The beads on the door don’t shock grace but they shock everyone because she is NOT LIKE OTHER GIIIIIIIIRLS

This castle is goth chic baybeeeeee the light fixtures are downturned thorny black roses where can i cop these

“The pterodactyls in my stomach are now butterflies”

She says FML. did a 50 year old woman write this. Edit: i looked, i cannot find how old this author is

Velvet wallpaper, wall sconces shaped like dragons, LET ME IN

“Self-imposed isolation” lol little did she know what a phrase in the lexicon this would become in 2020

Cliques include muscular people near the windows, soft flowery delicate people in the back of the room which are macy’s friends, super-tall literally hot people in the middle, and the black-or-white money people that seem to be more formal

She says “basketball anyone??” re the tall people lol

I am going to guess: werewolves, witches, dragons??, and vampires

Macy keeps having coughing fits?

Hot redhead - simone, hot dark girl - lily, hot asian girl - gwen

“Simone’s just bitter all the guys are looking at you”

Grace loves dr. pepper so i fuck with her

Macy’s boyfriend is cam and his friend is james, who looks at her like she is food?

“I’m just not that interesting”

CH 10: turns out, the devil wears gucci

Would i have probably picked this title as well? Yes. did it make me cringe nonetheless? Fer shure.

“Do i need some jerk trying to make me his afternoon snack?” huh???? As far as you know these are normal boys...make it make sense

Jaxon makes his ENTRAAAANCE BABY

Dressed all in gucci black - she can tell from across the goddamn room

“Jaxon is anything but regular, anything but ordinary, even here among the blatantly extraordinary”

Icy blank stare soooooo much

She calls his voice low wicked and wild

She can’t stop thinking about “running my tongue over the perfect bow of his upper lip, dragging is lower lip between my teeth”

Idk where these thoughts are coming from!!!! Baby you 17 c’mon now

I try to think of anything else, snow!

She takes a drink and it goes down the wrong pipe lmaoooo

“At least if i find a bathroom i can die in peace” lol

But he touches her and she stops choking and she’s like “he couldn’t have stopped that, i know, but…”

He stares at her as he bites the strawberry and she takes it as a threat

CH 11: in the library, no one can hear you scream

“His moods change more quickly than my bffs instafeed” I -

Oh so NOW she’ll say “the fuck you in his eyes” but she was saying freaking and eff before...did her publisher tell her only x amount of fucks per book?

She goes into the library and her body is like RUN, but she ignores it…

There are beautiful gargoyles and ornate shelves and...stickers fucking everywhere?

The gargoyle is pointing to an secret room that says students needs permission, but she hears chanting and decides to check it out since it might be one of the native languages spoken in alaskaaaaaaaaaa

“Especially because some of them only have less than 4,000 speakers left in the world” okay gracie-pedia tf?

CH 12: it’s all fun and games until someone loses their life

She meets a girl named Leah - who was the one chanting

Okay but i do fuck with the horror movie quote pillows…

Damn leah’s boyfriend died…

“Tea from homemade leaves” again...read this out loud before you put it in a published novel...do you mean loose leaves? Do you mean homegrown leaves?

Is she gonna poison her????

“What do you guys have to lie about that’s so important?” “Everything”

CH 13: just bite me

“Lol jk”

“Finish your drink” BITCH IT’S POISON

Macy and leah are being soooo weird about what could have happened to grace on her own

Apparently leah is super popular and secretive so it’s weird she took to grace so fast - is this a NLOG sitch or a “come into my web little fly” sitch?

She pukes because of “altitude sickness” aka poisoning i bet

CH 14: knock knock knocking on death’s door

This theme of bastardization of guns and roses songs is really....something.

Grace takes a mental health day because she’s still feeling weird

Flint comes to check on her and invite her to a snowball fight…?

If your character’s name is grace, i feel like you can’t use gracefully as an adjective, the same way you wouldn’t say Rue said something ruefully.

Flint kisses her cheek and i’m already waiting for this Great Value Edward/Jacob triangle

But he makes her feel ~nothing~ compared to jaxon

CH 15: so hell actually can freeze over

Macy likes flint, uh-oh

But the different groups don’t mix

“What is this, mean girls alaska edition?” - stfu

Omg her uncle checks on her and he reminds her of her dad and :(

We get sooooooo much detail about how to dress to go out into the wilderness...here is one thing i was able to find out: tracy wolff lives in texas. So i feel like she did ALL this research and then was like y’all gonna LEARN ABOUT THIS I SPENT TOO MUCH TIME!

As a girl who has never ever seen snow, i felt this fascination

She finds a gnarled up weird tree guarding a trail

“A weird sense that i should turn around - like the feeling in the library - came over me but i knew i was just being silly”

The lack of survival instinct henny

She comes across a gazebo where leah and jaxon are sitting

CH 16: sometimes keeping your enemies close is the only thing that prevents hypothermia

That’s not a chapter title, it’s an entire sentence…

Ooh they’re having an angry, intimate convo

And leah slaps him!!

“They’re looking at me like they’re the predators and i’m the prey they can’t wait to sink their teeth into” we get it, first of all. Second of all, what is with the long-winded metaphors

“Every time i catch sight of him i feel something tug at me i can’t identify, something i have no ability to explain” it’s horniness.

Then she just leaves but he catches up to her

With his sexy af hair blowing

“Trying to run away from all the thing he makes me feel when really i just want to grab on to him and hold on tight” - so what is the truth?! You keep acting like you don’t know what the feeling is but clearly, YOU DO.

“Everyone answers to me, eventually.” - we found the line used in the adverts guys!

Oh my god, what an asshat. Asshole, i would have laughed. Asshat is stupid.

It’s annoying af

Doing my best dory impression: just keep walking

“Making friends with a dr - a guy like flint” CALLED IT, he’s a dragon

Leah’s boyfriend was jaxon’s brother

Neither leah nor jaxon was wearing a jacket. BOOM

CH 17: it’s discretion, not diamonds, that’s a girl’s best friend

Not only cringe but grammatically incorrect…she coulda just said “discretion is a girl’s best friend” and we woulda got the reference….

Grace mentions jaxon in front of macy and she’s supes weird and grace is FINALLY like wtf is the secret you’re hiding from me

“She looks at me like i’m a few snowflakes short of a snowball” SOMEONE. READ THIS OUT LOUD. WHERE IS HER EDITOR I JUST WANNA TALK.

The order?! “Just a nickname for the popular boys” bullSHIT

Macy FREAKS OUT when she realizes grace has been alone with jaxon

She says he was interesting and “macy looks at me like i said i wanted to bodysurf the alaskan tundra”

Macy “We’re talking about jaxon right? Arrogance of a rock star?”

She didn’t mention “the scar that turns him from to pretty sexy af, and scary af”

“He’s not the one who tried to kill me” “you’ve only been here a few days, give it time” get her MACY!

HE WAS LISTENING!!!!

CH 18: how many hot guys does it take to win a snowball fight?

Ooh jaxon mad that grace is going to flint’s snowball fight

“His breath is so warm and soft that i can feel it everywhere, even deep inside” okay you horny bitch!!!!! Was this cringe or did i like it or both?

“The orange and dark water scent of him” ...what? Dark water is a cologne? Or does she literally mean like the dark water of the ocean? What in confusion

Her throat is always tight and dry around him, all the time, every day

Flint pops up and he is wearing a dragon beanie…

The rest of the order shows up and “For the first time the phrase got your back makes sense” to grace...are you kidding me? You never understood a very simple common phrase til now? Sure jan

SEXUAL TRIANGLE TENSIOOOOOOOOON

But she only has eyes for Jaxon...they both reach to touch each other.

“Grace” it’s barely a whisper but i feel it all the way inside myself BITCH

“Something tells me this boy and his world famous disappearing act is going to be the death of me”

CH 19: we came, we fought, i froze

Civil twilight AGAIN.

“I didn’t think screwed up and obnoxious was your type” me-OW

The snowball fight happens

Sounds like fun, the designer faction isn’t there

“Did she just do parkour against that tree?” re: Macy so close to being funny. I did exhale through my nose. Then “did you just parkour that tree?” i DID laugh

Flint climbs the tree with grace over his shoulder ‘like spider man’ and all i can think is “you better hold on tight spider monkey”

The wind is so strong it knocks her out of the tree…

CH 20: there’s never a parachute around when you need one

Flint catches her in mid-air...this man… #teamflint2020

“You’re heavier than you look” dead

He has shame in his eyes? Why?

Because JAXON IS THERE AND HE IS MAD!

And flint is SUPER MAD!!!!!!!

Jaxon puts himself between grace and flint so grace can’t touch flint

“Can i just say i’m feeling a lot like alice in wonderland here? Things get curiouser and curiouser.” stfu

I was laughing because she was like “so much for fitting in, now i might as well be painted biohazard orange” but then she said fml. Stfu

Jaxon picks her up

CH 21: I like standing on my own two feet, but getting swept off them feels surprisingly good, too

If it takes up more than one line of a google docs page IT’S NOT A FUCKING CHAPTER TITLE!!!!!

Ooh and his arms feel really good around her, REALLY good

Now he smells like orange and snow and it’s making her crazy

Macy looks at them like she’s getting punk’d

“Grace.” “what?” “shut up.” i’m dead

“I sprained my ankle, i’m not dying of consumption” “yeah well, the night is young” this made me lol despite it being more of macy’s voice than jaxon’s

Jaxon is blaming grace for falling? “You don’t see macy falling out of her tree” is he negging her rn?

She’s called him super-sexy twice in a paragraph

Macy goes to get ice bc she’s scared of Jaxon and grace says, “Et tu, brute?” lmaooo

“I can do it myself” “maybe i wanna do it for you” and macy squeaks LMAO

His scar makes his smile a crooked little smirk...who else had a crooked smirk...the vampire this is 1000% based on, maybe?

“I find myself relaxing despite myself” guys. Reading is power. Read your work out loud so you can hear when you use the same word twice in a sentence, like this.

“My whole body lights up like the aurora borealis i’m still dying to see”

They almost kiss but don’t bc macy comes back

~~~

#crave #tracy wolff #jaxon vega #katmere #cringe books #book review #reading #fiction #negative review #booktube

[vrenaewrites]

AFTER by Anna Todd thoughts: Prologue - Ch 50

Full video here.

Originally wattpad fanfic about Harry Styles??????

PROLOGUE:

“I didn't know college would be more than academics”

Confused by (her roommate’s friends) inattention to structure: How fucking lame are you

“And that’s when he crept into my heart” Is he italicized in the books i bet it is

Dude’s name is hardin? More like hard-on amirite

CH 1:

It starts with an alarm going off?!?!?!? Rule number one!!!!!

She spends the prologue telling us she’s been prepping for college all her life and then spends a good half a page telling us that again

“Whatever else teenagers else do, that wasn’t me” We got a mary sue here guys

Razor from the knees down - ok virgin - why was this a detail?

Oh shiiii she got a boyfriend? And his name is NOT hardin guys

She told us multiple times that she prepped for this day forever but also keeps saying she has no idea what to expect...does this take place before the internet? Like...google it??

CH 2:

She just said she saw the school online, like you can find pics of the school but you couldn’t find a single youtube video about “what college is really like” foh

So the mom sits in on orientation but is expected to leave before seeing the dorm room how tf that girl supposed to get all her shit up to the dorm?!?!?! Parents usually help you move in??

So the car was packed FULL of her stuff but then she says she only brought clothes and books and her bf doesn’t have much to carry...so what is the truth?

Oh shit her roommate has tattoos

“Where the dorms are tiny and the parties are huge” and this information is fucking earth shattering to tessa and her mom and not-hardin

CH 3:

Two closets in this tiny dorm room…

“College is not what i expected” you said MULTIPLE TIMES you didn’t know what to expect so what is the truth?!!?!?!?

“Both genders” yikes on bikes

CH 4:

HE HAS A THICK ENGLISH ACCENT goodBYE

“Hardin scott is not my boyfriend” okay, so many things. No one fucking talks like that unless they wanna introduce the full name of the love interest in the clunkiest way

Also HS are his initials goodBYEEEEE

CH 5:

“Destroyed his body with holes and tattoos” omg

CH 6:

Hardin is fucking neg that calls her Teresa when she asks to go by Tessa and as someone who constantly gets called Vicki when I ask to go by Viktoria, I am on her side in this instance and this instance only

CH 7:

She is so upset that someone called her prissy but then she can’t even bring herself to think of what those people are doing in the frat house bedrooms

CH 9:

The word bottom. As in, steph pushed her bottom against a guy as she danced with him...BOTTOM

She’s in a bedroom with her drunk roommate and a really great collection of books and I GUARANTEE this is Hardin’s room

Wuthering heights ffs

KNEW IT

CH 10:

And she’s crying

CH 13:

She introduces herself by her full name and landon does the same whyyyyyy who does this?

He’s a nice kid unlike you - i’m shocked at my harsh words

Am i just a bitch or is she the weakest

So they’re just walking and he screams, “Stop staring at me” out of nowhere and walks away...sounds stable

CH 14:

“Noah is my boyfriend and I would never do anything to hurt him” This is what we call foreshadowing my friends

“A man who is rude an intolerable being made into a romantic hero? It’s ridiculous” hardin

Foreshadowing…

She literally just said her boyfriend is like a little brother…ew

“I’m aware that my hips and breasts are larger than most women my age”...women are fully developed at 18...i don’t understand…

Mary sue shit

CH 15:

“She’s intimidated by you because you’re not like other girls” is that a real thing…

“You look...different” - hardin PUKE

“Are you a virgin?” i puked again

No one seems surprised - bitch you dress like a nun

CH 16:

These chapter breaks make no gd sense

“Hormonal college rock n roll misfits”

Immediately takes a shot of vodka

Hardin looks disappointed that she took a shot because she’s not like other girls…

Slut shaming.com / tessa re: molly

CH 17:

“Sorry if i don’t dress like a slut” no you just wear pleated skirts and khakis like a mormon mother

Hardin doesn’t drink OF COURSE they are sober lil bookworms together

I want to be an author. Of course because she is the mary sue of our generation move over bella swan

She’s drinking again after almost puking

CH 18:

“We don’t need to have sex, we have fun by going to the movies...and going on walks” ON WALKS.

OH SHIIIIIIIII THEY KISSIN

CH 19:

This girl has never been horny before and she cannot cope with the feeling

Am i bad a person for feeling like “Well she already cheated by kissing him, might as well keep kissing him?” like i know that’s wrong but…

CH 20:

Oh my god she’s not telling her boyfriend that she kissed someone else??!?!?

Oh shiii hardin’s in her dorm

HER MOM IS AT THE DOOR

WITH NOAH?!?!?!?!?!

When i say weakass you say bitch

CH 21:

The fork at breakfast reminds her of hardin’s lip ring….

She just called Hardin Mr. Rude. “Mr. struggle” lol anyone else watch Cody Ko??

Noah won’t kiss her in public and she does NOT get horny with him

CH 22:

Pride and prejudice is not a magical book tessa

Landon’s mom and hardin’s dad?! Oh shiiiii

“Are you ocd or something” christ

Literally he’s throwing her notes all over the floor like what a four year old

“Eyes burning into mine” AGAIN

They kissin!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh shit they doin MORE than kissing

“You’re so sexy tess” I PUKED

Steph’s eyes are clapping with glee?????

“You could learn a lot from Hardin, like, sexually” - steph

okay………

CH 23:

They’re talking about the use of foreshadowing in pride and prejudice about if you could tell that darcy and elizabeth would end up together…

What kinda hamfisted shit…

And then she and hardin get in a screaming match about their situation but it’s coded in darcy and elizabeth language like come onnnnnnn

So much twilight vibes: “your mood swings give me a headache” “i should stay away from him, i know he’s dangerous” dangerous how? Because he has tattoos?

FIRST FULL BODY CRINGE: “You’re thinking about me and you have that feeling, down there, don’t you, teresa?”

Twilight: “i don’t wanna stay away from you”

CH 24:

“He really is bipolar” dude

She likes bon iver and the fray...of course she does

CH 25:

SHE FOLLOWED THIS STRANGER INTO THE WOODS

No murderino instinct at all

“He must be cold in the warm ass water because he can’t be getting flushed seeing me, a girl he’s made out with multiple times and is obviously attracted to, in nothing but his t-shirt” bitch COME ON

“I’m having real fun, not watching a movie fun”

This is such a dig at noah who she says doesn’t need to fuck her because they watch movies together

SECOND FULL BODY CRINGE: “These lips, the things you could do with them”

THIRD: “Oh Hardin,” I moan and squeeze him with my legs. “I want to make you moan my name over and over again” - hardin

My hormones are out of control - who is thinking about their hormones at this point

FOURTH: She goes to cover up and he’s like don’t ever cover yourself from me, i’ve been with so many girls but none like you

And they’re not gonna do it but “there are many other things he wants to do to her first” and at this point my body is contorted like a jumbo shrimp

FIFTH: The whole fingering scene honestly. Just all of it. He made her towel off with his shirt...am I missing something? She had already put her pants on...what’s the point of that???

SIXTH: “You haven’t said a word to me since” - “since i gave you your first orgasm?”

CH 26:

Wtf is this dude’s problem? She ignores her boyfriend’s call to keep making out with him and he’s like “don’t break up with him on my account, there’s no us going on” like dude y’all just went on a date...so you can keep saying you don’t date...but you just did…

CH 27:

She’s so selfish!!!! Calling Noah because she got rejected by Hardin!!!!!!!! Noah deserves better 2k20

And then she mentions it in front of Hardin to make him jealous WTF

Hardin petty ass Scott says, “noah, that’s a nice cardigan you’re wearing”

Thanks I got it from the gap!!!!!!!11

CH 28:

SEVEN: Tessa wants noah to get her horny so she keeps trying to kiss him and when he won’t let anything happen she stops and he says, “that was nice, tessa”

Tessa takes noah’s car to go help hardin and leaves noah in her dorm room alone when he drove 3 hours to see her!!!!!!!!!!!!!

CH 29:

Hardin toxic asshole Scott threw a hissy fit and tessa comes to save the day

He dresses her little glass cut after telling her she’s pathetic...woof

CH 30:

Holy manipulation station nation

Then he forces himself on her and her dumb bitch ass KISSES HIM!!!!!

BECAUSE HE SAID HE NEEDED HER, THAT’S ALL IT TOOK

Cringe throughout: that she describes his lips as pink. It’s weird as fuck.

EIGHT: “You know who i think you are when you’re with me?” “Who?” “yourself”

CH 31:

NINE: He’s telling her if she says the word he’ll leave her alone: “Tell me teresa,” he coos, and i whimper. “Hardin,” i whisper. WHY?

SHE IS GONNA STAY WITH HARDIN WHILE NOAH IS WAITING FOR HER?!?!?!?!!??!

CH 32:

“I don’t know if it’s his smile or the fact that he’s only in boxers, but I’m in a much better mood than before” you skank ass hoe

TEN: He says her clothes hide how sexy and curvy her body really is. Sexy and curvy. Both.

CH 33:

ELEVEN: “I know this happiness isn’t going to last” - the happiness being her straddling this guy that isn’t her boyfriend - “and i feel like cinderella waiting for the clock to strike midnight”

“I can behave any way i want with hardin tonight, because in the morning i’m going to tell him to leave me alone forever” HUH

TWELVE: I am just as intoxicated by hardin, as hardin is by the bottle of scotch he drank

THIRTEEN: Who is this girl straddling this punk boy and asking to touch him...down there?

CH 34:

FOURTEEN: He says he wants to taste her and this dumb bitch licks her lips like “yeah we been kissing wtf” and he says “no, down there” EW

CH 35:

Noah standing up for himself!!!!!

FIFTEEN: Then he calls them those gothic people...gothic? Not goth. Gothic.

HARDIN DONE BARGED IN!!!!!!

CH 36:

Hardin and Noah about to get into it!

Hardin making tessa be honest with noah OMG THE DRAMA

SIXTEEN: I am a moth to hardin’s flame and he never hesitates to burn me

CH 39:

Tessa gets a makeover to go out with steph and i KNOW she’s gonna see hardin and they’re gonna be inappropriate in public

And hardin is here OF COURSE

Oooh and he’s with molly! Tea

She is a slut - TESSA NO

Chapter 37: hardin will ruin tess if she ever comes around again chapter 39: he’s driving her home and making sure her burger doesn’t have ketchup

CH 40:

Noah will get back with tessa if she promises nothing with happen with hardin and we are only halfway through this book BITCH

CH 41:

Oh he drunk and at tessa’s dorm

This BITCH. JUST. GOT. BACK.TOGETHER. WITH. NOAH. AND. IS. GETTING. IN. BED. WITH. HARDIN. TO. WATCH. A. MOVIE.

CH 42:

He picks her up and forces her to sleep in the bed with him despite her saying no

CH 44:

She admits to herself that sleeping beside hardin is worth losing noah and then is trying to talk herself into believing that noah is hotter than hardin????

“You don’t need makeup” “well i like it” “well you’re bad at it” negging ass

This man at the store says, “hardin?” in an english accent and she’s like “i knew it was his dad” well how many fucking english dudes are in this small washington town my friend

This bitch agrees to go to dinner with hardin’s dad knowing damn well he and his dad are NOT on good terms...she’d be walking home…

CH 45:

And then because he doesn’t wanna go to dinner with his abandoning father, she says she’s gonna go to his dad’s house for dinner with ANOTHER DUDE?!?!?!?!?!?

She ignores noah’s call

It is stressing me tf out that she isn’t calling noah back and is instead getting ready for a date with hardin’s family...this poor cardigan wearing man

CH 46:

I LITERALLY DO NOT CARE ABOUT THE FAMILY!!!!!!!! GET BACK TO THE CRINGE NEGGING AND ALMOST-BONING

CH 47:

“He rubs the back of his neck like he always does” - this is the first time he’s done this??

CH 48:

SEVENTEEN: “Oh tessa the things you do to me”

Fingers her without asking?!?!?!?!?!?! She literally says “Without my permission”

CH 49:

She is staying at hardin’s family’s house for the night, asks for her own room because she has a boyfriend - YOU JUST GOT EATEN OUT BY ANOTHER DUDE FIVE MINUTES AGO

~~~~

#reading #fiction #after #anna todd #hardin scott #tessa young #harry styles #fanfic #cringe #cringe books #cringe review #negative review #book review

[vrenaewrites]

My Favorite Books Ever (2019).

In June 2018, I did a video about my all time favorite books. I included 13 books and only a couple were young adult, which is the genre I write in.

Boy how things change in a year. I’ve read probably 20 books since then which isn’t a lot compared to other people, but you’d be surprised how many of those were absolute knockouts for me, quickly moving into my hall of fame favorites. So let’s revisit my top 10 list.

10. TIE: TO KILL A MOCKINGBIRD by Harper Lee and MATILDA by Roald Dahl.

[previously #5 and #10, respectively]

These books have to be included on the basis of how much they meant to me as a child and young teen who was bookish, compassionate, and open-minded in my rural (read: often racist) southern community. Scout Finch and Matilda Wormwood were little girls I needed as a little girl, and while I may not reach for these “favorites” too often anymore, they’ll be some of the first books I share with my kids of reading age. They made me who I am.

9. THE MERCILESS by Danielle Vega Rollins.

[new addition]

Boy, oh, boy. If you didn’t catch the pop culture influences on my new WIP, you don’t even know what kind of impact this book had on me. If The Exorcist and Mean Girls had a baby written by Stephen King, this would be it. Sofia Flores is welcomed by the popular, virtuous girls at the expense of outcast Brooklyn, and the price for inclusion is higher than anyone could have known. This is a brutal, BRUTAL book. Full of intrigue, pulpy dirty laundry, and tons of gore, it’s not for the faint of heart. But it is right up my alley.

8. SHARP OBJECTS by Gillian Flynn.

[previously #8]

This book messed me up so bad I had to let my little sister borrow it so I had someone to talk about it with. It worked. Journalist Camille Preaker returns to her small Midwest town to investigate the disappearance of little girls, she has to reconnect with her toxic, dysfunctional family I’ve mentioned it before: a fucked up family and a strong sister dynamic - good or bad - are two of my favorite elements to read about. SHARP OBJECTS comes through with that in spades, along with questionable allies, mental illness in the protagonist, twist after twist, and the classic Gillian Flynn style of stylistic, highly personal writing.

7. THE EXORCIST by William Peter Blatty.

[previously #6]

I am totally and utterly obsessed with this story. I did see the movie before I read the book because I’m a horror movie junkie and I saw this movie at like, ten years old. Twelve year old Regan MacNeil makes an imaginary friend through a ouija board and things...get...weird from there. But of course, the story isn’t really about Regan. It’s about Father Karras, the titular exorcist who wrestles with the imaginary friend within Regan - the demon Pazuzu - and his own personal demons. The vulgar violence Regan is subjected to during her possession will burn into your brain forever, and the exploration of the relationship between god and man and devil feeds my dogmatic interests like few things really can.

6. THE HAUNTING OF HILL HOUSE by Shirley Jackson.

[previously #7]

I can’t overstate how much I love this book. From the queer coding of Theo and Nellie to the unsteady narration, Hill House has been ridiculously impactful on me since I read it almost two years ago. A parapsychologist invites people with paranormal experiences to spend time with him in the titular home, where he plans to prove the existence of paranormal activity. That’s right, this is the start of the ghost hunting trope, guys. Basically, these people get real fuckin’ haunted. As the sanity of each guest of Hill House is threatened and questioned, we as the reader start to wonder what the truth really is.

5. A HEAD FULL OF GHOSTS by Paul Tremblay.

[previously #4]

Paul Tremblay is a contemporary to Stephen King. I said what I said. The Barrett family is torn apart by the change in Marjorie, the oldest of their two daughters. As signs of acute schizophrenia become more prevalent, the father turns to religion and the mother turns to mental health professionals. As their resources deplete, they are forced to allow a reality tv show to document Marjorie’s affliction for the paycheck, where the reality and sanity of all involved comes unraveled. The narrators. The twists upon twists. The unrelenting tension as you become invested in finding out what is really wrong with Marjorie. It’s a book I wish I wrote.

4. THE FORBIDDEN GAME trilogy by LJ Smith.

[previously #3]

I just don’t know how to explain what this book did for me creatively. It’s 90s pulp horror and it made me realize that I kinda want to write 90s pulp horror...in 2019. It’s engaging, well written, interesting, unique, diverse, and quick. LJ Smith can do no wrong in my book.

3. HARRY POTTER AND THE PRISONER OF AZKABAN by JK Rowling.

[previously #2]

Do I have to get into this? The introduction of Remus Lupin, my literal father. The introduction of Sirius Black, my literal son. The introduction of not so annoying Hermione, literally me. The Draco punch. Buckbeak. Big baddies on the horizon. The first YA entry in the series. Chef’s kiss. Also the best film, I said what I said.

2. CARRIE by Stephen King.

[previously #1]

I know, I’m shook. Carrie has been dethroned. Don’t tell her though - we don’t want a prom repeat. Stephen King’s debut is ridiculously good - gritty, scary, brutal, sad, and believable despite being about a telekinetic teen who’s abused into massacring most of a town. Spoilers? The book is like 40 years old. Too bad.

HONORABLE MENTIONS:

Alice Hoffman’s PRACTICAL MAGIC [previously #9]

Grady Hendrix’s MY BEST FRIEND’S EXORCISM [new]

Dhonielle Clayton’s THE BELLES [new]

1. WE HAVE ALWAYS LIVED IN THE CASTLE by Shirley Jackson.

[new addition]

Oh my God, y’all. I read this book in one day while I was in upstate NY last month. I read it on a dock, on a lake, in 80 degree weather, and I had goosebumps by the end. Mary Katherine Blackwood and her sister Constance live alone in the Blackwood mansion, hated by the villagers, jeered at in the grocery store, and gossiped about - for good reason. Six years prior, their entire family was poisoned and the prime suspect, Constance, was acquitted to the disdain of the public. But when a long lost cousin hungry for the Blackwood fortune comes to visit, secret after secret is unearthed along with little Merricat’s various treasures of protection. Talk about twists. Jackson has a KNACK for the vicious town opinion - The Lottery, anyone? - and how it can ruin a family, a person, and how there can be no sole responsibility for mob mentality. I just cannot overstate how much I love this book.

#fiction writer #writers blog #writers of tumblr #am writing #writer woes #writers be like #ya fiction #ya paranormal #ya thriller #young adult #favorite books #shirley jackson #stephen king #paul tremblay #roald dahl #harper lee #jk rowling #lj smith #gillian flynn #william peter blatty #danielle vega #grady hendrix #dhonielle clayton #alice hoffman

[vrenaewrites]

How to Write a Kickass Opening.

We’ve all been in a bookstore or a library, flipping through our genre section, pulling out books with interesting titles or covers, skimming the first page and -

Fizzle.

Slam it shut, put it back, onto the next.

Or -

Flame.

My curiosity is stoked. My interests are piqued. I need to know more.

The opening of your book is arguably one of the main selling points to a reader. So how do we make sure our opening grabs their attention and makes them check it out or buy it?

To answer that question you need to know:

What is the purpose of your opening? What is the goal?

To ensure the reader keeps reading. That’s it. There’s no rhyme or reason to what a strong opening HAS to detail or include.

That being said, there are some tried and true ways to ensure you’ll hook the reader.

Here are some do’s and Dont’s to writing your opening.

DON’T lie.

Don’t take something from a totally different type of book that misrepresents your story. That’ll piss your reader off.

DO be vague.

If you want people to keep reading, have them wondering what you’re talking about. You want them to be asking themselves questions.

DON’T start with the weather.

I know you want to let the reader know that it was a dark and stormy night. But don’t. It’s cliche af.

DO open in the middle.

Some of my favorite opening lines are lines of dialogue in which we’re being dropped directly into the middle of an argument, a discussion, etc. it also helps to organically introduce characters and show their motivation right off the bar without having to spell it out.

DON’T start with your character waking up for the day.

Just like weather, this is boring and tired.

DO introduce or foreshadow the main conflict.

Again, we don’t wanna give too much away - more on that later - but we wanna make it clear from the jump that there is going to be some kind of issue or conflict.

DON’T INFODUMP.

This is where the great raging battle of prologues is born. Do we use them? Do we not? No matter your answer, your first chapter should not read as a prologue, which tend to read as the history of the world in fantasy or “I didn’t know how to mention the queen is dead so here it is in the prologue”. Your first chapter, first scene, first line should engage your reader and bring them into the scene happening RIGHT THEN. Not give them a socioeconomic lesson.

DO realize you can come back to the opening.

If you’re a pantser, kinda like me, you may need to get to know what you’re trying to do before you can really hook your reader. The openings to CIVIL BLOOD up until draft 4 were hot garbage.

And that’s all the advice I have for you on this subject. I’ve been lucky in the respect that when the opening was ready, I just...felt it. I knew it wasn’t right until it was. Sometimes it’s that easy, but the journey of getting there is not.

#fiction writer #writers blog #writers of tumblr #am writing #writer woes #writers be like #ya fiction #ya paranormal #ya thriller #young adult #opening #writing an opening #indie author #debut author

[vrenaewrites]

How to Win Writerly Social Media.

Social media is a necessary evil for a writer in this day and age. You’ve got to find your community and cultivate an audience, long before you ever publish anything. I touched on this in my video a few weeks ago about mistakes writers make. And then I remembered: I have never made a blog about Buffer.

(For full transparency this was also a video on my YouTube channel but it was a screen recording of my phone, and iMovie formatting cut off most of the important stuff, so I scrapped it.)

Believe it or not, this is not sponsored.

I did list Buffer as one of the apps that save my ass on social media in a blog, but I’ve never gone into detail on how I use this and how it takes so much pressure and stress off the social media game for me.

Basically this app allows you to schedule posts ahead of time across multiple platforms, including links, hashtags, photos, etc. So I want to walk you through how I schedule my content for an entire week in no time using Buffer.

On Sunday mornings, I have time set aside in my google calendar for content brainstorming.

I usually do it on and off while watching tv or something, whereas if I really focus it only takes me like an hour from creation to queue.

My first step, and the first step in simplifying a social media schedule, is deciding what days are for what. I’m going to give you my tips for why I post what I post.

Monday’s are #motivationmonday (which have kind of turned into #mememonday because well, memes get more engagement and I’m a millennial sue me).

Tuesday’s are #tuneintuesday - these used to be podcast recs but turned into theme songs for BFAS or songs that were inspiring me in my writing process. They’re all in a highlight on my Instagram because along with the post itself, I share a snippet of the song in an Instagram story post. Double engagement, y’all.

Wednesday’s are video days - I post a video and I share the thumbnail (for insta because insta doesn’t allow caption links) or the link.

Thursday’s are aesthetic days because twitter does the #Thursdayaesthetic hashtag - this is a major piece of advice: check out the big hashtags on your platform of choice and play into them! Instagram loves amwriting - twitter had a huge push for lgbtwip during pride month, and since my book had lgbt characters and was written by me, a bisexual, I used that when speaking on it. These hashtags actually grew my following big time and introduced me to some authors I love.

Friday’s are blog days - I post a blog and I share the graphic I’ve made with the title across all social media. While I’ve begun to use the blogs as more of a companion piece to the videos, the blogs go way more in depth since...you know...writing is easier than talking.

Saturday’s are a mix - #selfieSaturday, #ShelfieSaturday (my shelves are trash atm so I haven’t shared many of those), or a photo of my dog or something. Relaxed, personal, perfect for a Saturday. My caption includes what my plans are for the day, writing related if possible. And I always ask my audience what they’re up to as well. Questions = responses = comments = engagement!

Sunday’s are #onelineweekend - I share a line from my WIP to keep my audience interested in my project. I give a little insight via the caption of who we’re hearing from and what it says about their character - or the tone of the WIP. I ask what they’re working on because well. Questions = responses = comments = engagement!

As far as hashtags go, besides the ones I use for the theme of the day, I tend to use these often: #BFAS (acronym of my WIP) #indieauthor #yaauthor #yafiction #amwriting - again, look into your preferred platform and build from there.

So we have our schedule. We have built in hashtags for a majority of our posts. Step two is to get your graphics in order. Instagram is my biggest and preferred platform, and since the point of buffer is to share stuff across all your platforms, all my posts for all my socials tend to have the Instagram format: picture, caption, hashtags.

I find things on Pinterest for Monday’s and Thursday’s - then I use PhotoGrid to make the aesthetic collages. I obviously share my own photos on Saturday and crop / blur a section of my manuscript in google docs for Sunday. But when I have to make thumbnails, quotes, etc. I use canva.

Again, not spon.

Canva is an app and a website where you create graphics. And I mean everything: thumbnails, channel banners, story templates, book covers, posters, business cards. Literally anything. They have tons of free stock photos as well, which is so useful for making an eye-catching post without getting sued for using a photo that’s not yours. If you guys want a canva expert to make you some awesome graphics for hella cheap go to vrenae.com/services k byeeeeeeeee

So we’ve got everything. Idea, photo, caption, hashtags. Then we get to the nitty gritty. Let’s schedule these posts.

Then you can schedule for a specific day or place the post in the queue to post at the time with the highest engagement on that platform. Yes, Buffer will maximize your engagement by posting at peak time if you want it to. This was very useful when I was promoting CIVIL BLOOD.

And that’s it! Let me know if you have any questions.

#fiction writer #writers blog #writers of tumblr #am writing #writer woes #writers be like #ya fiction #ya paranormal #ya thriller #young adult #socialnetworking #socialinfluencer #social media #buffer #canva

[vrenaewrites]

Pop Culture that inspired my WIP.

By the time you see this, I’ll be in upstate New York, eating bagels and getting tan as shit for my boyfriend’s dirty 30. Will I get murdered by Jason Voorhees? I guess we will find out when - or if - I post again next week.

Speaking of scary things, if you’ve ever read anything I’ve written, you know I’m a fan of the creepy. You might not know I’m also a massive fan of the kitschy, campy, highly-saturated world of teen movies. In fact, a huge amount of my writing is actually more inspired by television and movies than it is by other comparable titles. Here are 3 movies, 3 books, and 3 songs which were the inspiration for my magical realism WIP, BLOOD FROM A STONE.

MOVIES:

THE CRAFT:

I mean, obviously. As a child of the 90s and a perpetual weird Charmed-obsessed girl with a crush on both Skeet Ulrich and and Neve Campbell, this movie is life. New girl comes to school hiding a strong magical gift and connects with other girls with gifts and they get into trouble / having a falling out? Oh hi, entire idea behind BFAS.

JENNIFER’S BODY:

this movie rocked my bisexual world when I first saw it. The queer coding is phenomenal. The idea of the succubus in mythology is so sexist and masturbatory in the lense of today: what a nightmare for you that this hot creature is gonna “seduce” you against your will clearly it’s all her fault. Jennifer’s Body lives out a tale of vengeance that’s unapologetic and brutal while also being humorous and heartbreaking as the relationship (which is pretty toxic) between Needy and Jen unravels. And the idea that Jennifer is (spoiler alert) made into this creature by a violating ritual gone wrong influenced BFAS in a big way. If you violate me, I will murder you like the animal you are. I will do it like the monster you made out of me. And I’ll still be gorgeous and girly and sexual and confident.

JAWBREAKER:

what a deliciously insane movie. There are a couple girls in BFAS who are directly inspired by reigning sociopath Courtney Shayne. I love a girl gang, and the BFAS girls get there (minus a few? Or not?) but they begin like any good teen high school movie: at odds. An outsider being brought into the fray to be a scapegoat and to cover up the guilt of others? An HBIC with a steel gaze and an affinity for power trips? “This is high school. What is a friend, anyway?” Chef’s kiss.

BOOKS:

DAUGHTERS OF EVE by Lois Duncan:

this book follows ten different girls living in a backwards-ass small town in the Midwest where women are still second class; who join a club at school run by a city-slicker single woman who teaches them how to stand up for themselves. This naturally turns into vigilante justice against every man who looks at them wrong. I’m into it. The incident with Peter in this book directly influenced the second confrontation on the list in BFAS. This book was the blueprint for what I am trying to do with BFAS.

SLICE OF CHERRY by Dia Reeves:

originally, BFAS was much more murderous co-dependent psychopath centered, thanks to this book. Set in the Portero universe, where monsters and magic are as unavoidable as the Texas heat, the daughters of an infamous serial killer decide to perform my favorite thing: misdirected vigilante justice. It gets real icky. This book + American Horror Story: Coven + the legend of the New Orleans casket girls = the original concept for this series.

THE MERCILESS II by Danielle Vega (Rollins):

oh the juicy juicy setting of this book. The supernatural trickery. The isolation. The inner spiral into darkness. The brother school’s crowning jewel losing his ever loving mind. Such a brilliant book. I don’t want to say much else because it’ll spoil the first MERCILESS and they’re all more than worth reading. Some of my favorite books ever.

SONGS:

For the first time, I have clear cut theme songs for all of MCs and theme songs for each “act” of BFAS. I’ve done the theme songs on my [instagram] each #tuneintuesday back in June, but I haven’t really touched on the songs which shape each act.

Act I: CRIMSON AND CLOVER by Joan Jett:

I have an affinity for songs that sound like they’d play as the love interest in a 90s movie walked down the halls of the high school. Both iterations of this song give me the butterflies - the original by Tommy James and the Shondells was on the playlist for CIVIL BLOOD. (I wrote a few blogs about CB’s music, check them out.) But if you didn’t know, BFAS is...how do I put it...gay as shit. Well, bisexual. But. We gay, too. And having Joan Jett circa 1983 sing angelically about how she could love “her” - no pronoun shifting for my queer queen - makes me feel like I am Thea seeing that girl (spoilers?) for the first time.

Act II: SEASHORE by The Regrettes:

MAN do I love these badass teen dreams. This was the first song of theirs I ever heard and I was sold immediately. There’s so many incredible lines about being treated like less than by men because of being a young girl, and how stupid that is. And it’s all set to a doo-wop beach guitar type of beat. “You’re talking to me like a bitch. Do you ever hear the way that you speak? Don’t have to be so mean, just cause you’re weak. I’m like nobody else, so you can just go fuck yourself.”

Act III: WHITE BOY by Bikini Kill:

and now we get to the yucky stuff. The bad bad times. The turning of the tides. Bikini Kill is not known for tact or for shying away from sensitive issues. The first 30 seconds of this song is the epitome of normalized rape culture, followed immediately by the recounting of a sexual assault (cw) as Kathleen Hanna screams and rasps for the white boys to “just die.” More than that, this song embodies what it feels like to be a teenaged girl, especially the ones in BFAS who aren’t allowed to be what they really are. They are screaming but no one hears them. It’s a sentiment I feel often living in this political climate: “I’m so sorry if I’m alienating some of you. Your whole fucking culture alienates me.”

BONUS: TV SHOW

American Horror Story: Coven shaped my life and attitude and tastes more than I care to admit. As someone who’s always had an affinity for New Orleans, witchy things, Stevie Nicks, Kathy Bates, vigilante justice (oh really we didn’t notice), dismantling the patriarchy (wow u? No), and wearing black...this show really did it for me in 2013. (Despite the fact that I was literally working at WALT DISNEY WORLD during this time. She has the range, y’all.)

This show had a lot to do with me going from making this series an NA college type setting story to more of a boarding school situation. The original idea was the girls were random roommates in a house on St. Charles Ave and the inciting incident happened on Bourbon Street during Winter Break. I lost the NOLA, gained the “special girl” school. The overall vibe of Coven is much more Thistlewolf than BFAS, but its influences are everlasting in my personal tastes: just wait til you see the mockups for the BFAS cover. ;)

That’s all I’ve got today guys. What are your WIP inspirations?

#fiction writer #writers blog #writers of tumblr #am writing #writer woes #writers be like #ya fiction #ya paranormal #ya thriller #young adult #inspiration #writeblr #writing inspiration #debut author #ya spec fic #indie author #v. renae

[vrenaewrites]

Ten Mistakes ALL Authors Make.

Sometimes in life, you have ambitions. And sometimes, if you’re really into self hate and consistent nagging doubt, that ambition is to write books. But it’s not easy.

Understatement of the century.

It’s super fucking hard to write a book, guys. It’s hard to write, it’s hard to be a writer, it’s hard to get a book published, it’s hard to sell a lot of books. It’s just all super duper hard. I don’t recommend it, but unfortunately, I can’t help but do it.

If you’re like me, you can’t either. But you can make it easier - ish - on yourself. Here are ten things all writers tend to do that you should stop doing.

10. You’re jumping at the first offer of representation / publication / cover design, etc.

Self-explanatory. INSTEAD: do your research. Be knowledgeable about this industry and what it takes. Know what kind of agents and houses publish and work with your genre and category. Understand the red flags of these different facets of publication. Be choosy with your baby.

9. You’re being way too choosy with your baby.

I said what I said. You’re not Stephen King. People are not shitting their pants in 12 hour lines at Barnes and Noble on your release date. Do not expect a six figure book deal. Do not expect a huge advance. Do not expect to be handed a best-seller on a silver platter. It just doesn’t happen as often as you wanna believe. Period. INSTEAD: It’s okay to know what you want from a publisher, an agent, etc. You should. You should feel empowered to speak up and get what you need from the people you’re working with to bring your book to the masses. Just be realistic, manage your expectations, and understand the typical numbers for someone of your notoriety. In my case, I didn’t have any. So I knew I probably wouldn’t get an advance as a debut unknown nobody. I managed my expectations, so I wasn’t disappointed.

8. You’re not reading your book out loud.

If you are writing a book, it probably has dialogue. If your book has dialogue, it means two people are talking. If two people are talking, it needs to sound like...two people talking. But maybe you feel awkward about your dialogue. Maybe it seems stilted or off somehow. INSTEAD: Read that shit out loud. Have a full-on conversation with yourself. Read the narration in between dialogue in a dramatic voice-over voice. Act out certain quirks or movements to see if someone’s hand could actually move the way you wrote it moving. Even quietly to yourself, saying your writing out loud - especially the dialogue - can work wonders for making your book that much stronger.

7. You aren’t planning your full series out ahead of time.

I’m telling on myself here. I am in the process of finishing up the Thistlewolf trilogy, which is a YA paranormal romance horror series I published book one in October yeah we know ANYWAY. I knew what was supposed to happen in book 3, mostly. But I did not finish plotting out the arc of the final book in my series until November of 2018. A month after book 1 in the trilogy was already published and book 2 was on draft 3 or 4. Which means I have concrete rules of this world and relationships, etc etc, in PRINT. For the world to see. I can’t decide to change things in CB to fit better with what I want to happen in SW. I almost have to write SW around CB in order to avoid plot holes. INSTEAD: Plot your series out ahead of time. Know the major beats of every book and how their arc travels across from the first book to the last. Understand what you want the end result to be and build your previous books around that, not vice-versa.

6. You think you’re entitled to consistent inspiration, and you don’t see the point of working when uninspired.

If writers only wrote when they were inspired, there’d be approximately seven books in the history of the world. Inspiration is awesome. It’s exciting and freeing and fulfilling when you feel inspired to write. But it’s not as common as you’d think. INSTEAD: understand the importance of commitment and dedication over inspiration. Make time for it, and stick to it even when you don’t feel motivated. Push through the blocks and the slumps and understand writing for what it is: hard work.

5. You think your first draft is a book.

My sweet baby angel. It’s not. It’s just not. Don’t show it to people. Don’t query it. INSTEAD: Edit it. Revise it. Rewrite it. Edit it some more. Revise it again. Do more rewrites. Trust me.

4. You are sharing too much about your project on social media at too early of a stage.

Oh hi, all of my March and April videos. I wasn’t done with my garbage draft of BFAS when I started telling y’all all about it, and guess what? Total change of concept, theme, character names, relationships...literally just like the overall setting and message has stayed the same and that’s it. So now, sometimes when I go back to make edits, I feel bad because I’ve already said this thing is this way. Don’t do this. INSTEAD: Have a critique partner or an alpha reader that you can bounce early, terrible ideas off of with abandon instead of blasting your followers with every random idea about your project.

3. You’re treating your readers like they’re dumb.

A writer’s worst enemy is their tendency to over explain things. We spend months, even years of our lives learning and researching to make this book as realistic as possible, and we’ll be damned if we’re not going to include every single detail of how a 1957 Porche Speedster’s engine operates. But here’s the thing: the reader doesn’t give a single fuck about this. And they’ll tune right out when you try to shove unnecessary or plodding information in their faces. INSTEAD: leave them little breadcrumbs to follow. Drop hints and interesting little tidbits, but always leave them wanting more. Leave them asking questions and speculating on what certain things did or didn’t mean. It’s so much more satisfying as a reader to wonder about a story even after it’s over. And you want your story to linger in people’s heads long after they’ve read it. A great way to ensure that is by letting them fill in the blanks.

2. You’re not working on your platform because you haven’t published anything yet.

Oh, my sweet summer child. Social media is the most necessary evil a writer has to master, besides like, the great Oxford comma debate. Use them, shouldn’t be a debate. Anyways. This is the best way a writer can shoot themselves in the foot. INSTEAD: You should establish a presence on your preferred social media platform - or many - prior to ever getting a book deal, querying, editing, all of it. You should basically be trying to put yourself out there and network from the second you decide you wanna try to write a book. It takes time to build a following, and by the time your book is in the world, you want a built-in audience for it. Social media is the best and most widely available tool to do that.

1. You are sabatoging yourself with doubt and imposter syndrome.

If you missed my blog back in June about imposter syndrome, then you probably missed that I struggle with this a LOT. But the bottom line is, everyone gets in their own way from time to time. You are halting your progress and your growth because you feel unworthy or insecure about your ability. I hate to tell you, if you don’t believe in yourself and your work, you can’t really expect anyone else to. INSTEAD: fake it til you make it. Know you’re far from alone. And trust your process.

Please let me know if there’s anything I missed or if you disagree with the mistakes I mentioned here.

#fiction writer #writers blog #writers of tumblr #am writing #writer woes #writers be like #ya fiction #ya paranormal #ya thriller #young adult #writing mistakes #writing advice #indie author #v. renae #impostor syndrome #writing a trilogy

[vrenaewrites]

Quarter 3 Goals and Q2 Recap.

Happy fucking birthday, America. You’re a hot mess.

Literally.

When I first began doing blogs and youtube, I used to share my monthly goals. But no one liked when I did that, so I took a hint from successful bloggers and Youtubers and decided I’d go to quarterly goals instead.

If you don’t know, we technically just left the second quarter of the year, which like...WHAT. How has 2019 vanished into thin air? I feel like it was just January? Anyways. From April-June of 2019, my goals were:

- Read 6 books (2/month)

- Finish draft 1 of BLOOD FROM A STONE, my Magical Realism WIP

- Launch my BROKE INDIE AUTHOR services

- Collect all beta notes for ACCIDENTAL EVILS

- Hire an editor for ACCIDENTAL EVILS

- Film and write blogs for July and have ideas for August ready

Some other personal goals like consistent gym time and meal prep, wearing my night guard so I don’t grind my teeth into dust, spending time with my family during the season of 10 million birthdays, etc.

How’d we do?

Um...I’ll be real. I read two books. DUMPLIN’ (⅘) and THE SEVEN HUSBANDS OF EVELYN HUGO. (5/5). I am finishing EVERLASTING ROSE at the time of this blog. I’m embarrassed tbh. I think the heat makes me too lazy to write.

UM...well. By the skin of my teeth, I finished the rough draft of BLOOD FROM A STONE. But I’ll tell you what, I talked about this in my impostor syndrome series - I shelved this book for a hot minute, and then in June, I decided I wanted to rewrite it somehow? I wrote 15,000 words of a new draft when I literally had 3 chapters (about 15k words) left of the original draft. Aka I wasted so so SO much time. The best thing I did for this draft was take some time away while I was struggling with my perception and vision for the story - all of May was spent not writing this WIP. But. Getting back into it was tough.

This, I did! On June 1, my Broke Indie Author services launched on my website (vrenae.com/services) bitches! Promotional graphics, chapter critiques, YouTube editing, ghostwriting, book reviews - with more services to come. This was a huge exciting step for me and I can’t wait to expand the BIA line to give all those in the indie author community everything they need to succeed.

We got our notes in, and we hired a kickass editor for an amazing rate. Every day that she has that book in her hot little hands is another day I’m filled with excitement at the possibilities of what we can do with this book together.

I’m writing this in June, so I guess this is a win as well. I needed to get ahead of my self on content because I’ll be off the grid for over a week in July for my boyfriend’s 30th birthday. I have some interesting stuff coming up in August for sure. Mostly staying inside because if you’ve never been to Florida in August - don’t. Just don’t. It’s mind-melting.

We all know I didn’t go to the gym at all in May. But what I have started doing is running every morning and wow I forgot how much I loved it. If I get out there by 6:30am, that is. I tried 8:30am once and it was BRUTALLY hot. Yes, already. Florida sucks. Meal prep has been going well, mostly because I’m too broke to eat out with my coworkers that often. I spent lots of time with my family, watched a lot of TV and YouTube, and recharged my creative batteries in a huge way.

So, what’s next for me? What am I up to July - September?

MY QUARTER THREE GOALS:

Read 6 books. (2/month):

Clearly this has become a struggle, whereas in January I read like ten or twelve books? Wack.

Line edits for ACCIDENTAL EVILS:

By the end of July, my editor should be all done with AE, which is when the fun really begins.

Proofreads for ACCIDENTAL EVILS:

That’s right, fam. I’ll be recruiting proofreaders and sending them advanced copies of AE in Septemberish. Get fuckin’ ready.

Begin draft 2 of BLOOD FROM A STONE:

August is a busy lil month for this girl. I need all the excuses I can get to stay the fuck inside during the devil’s month.

Adjust SOMETHING WICKED based on ACCIDENTAL EVILS edits:

This’ll be a September project as well, but post beta notes, a lot changed that affects the finale of the Thistlewolf Trilogy. I’m sure more will come up as I get the editor notes back.

Begin my TIPSY IPSY series on my YouTube channel:

I announced on my Instagram last month that I’d subscribed to Ipsy, and a lot of you expressed interest in seeing unboxings of the monthly delivery of stuff. This won’t replace one of my videos but will be a bonus video each month. I know it’s not a writerly thing, but it’s something I’m excited about. So watch it or don’t.

What are y’all getting up to during these dog ass days of summer?

#fiction writer #writers blog #writers of tumblr #am writing #writer woes #writers be like #ya fiction #ya paranormal #ya thriller #young adult #writer goals #writing goals #self editing #am editing #am revising

[vrenaewrites]

Genre, sub genre, category: wtf is the difference?

This is a topic that’s been on my mind ever since I started querying CIVIL BLOOD in 2017. A huge part of querying and promoting your work is labeling it by genre, sub genre, and category; and it can be really confusing and difficult, specifically if you write one of the thousands of subsets of fantasy. So let’s talk about how to put your work in a neat little box to satisfy the industry, shall we?

What is my category? What is a category, period?

The category of your book is basically just to say who the book is for. Categories don’t say anything about the content of the book, where genre is specifically related to content. Categories can include NA or New Adult (ages 18-24, unfortunately a floundering market); YA or Young Adult (ages 12-17, my preferred category for reading and writing); MG or Middle Grade (ages 8-12); Children’s (8 and younger); or non-fiction / fiction (just tells you if the book is true or not). 

So how do you determine your category? 

Did you make this story up? Definitely fiction. Are the protagonists in high school? YA. College? NA, probably. And it can change. Harry Potter starts as MG and turns into YA by book 7 because of the aging of the characters. When in doubt, look to the comps of your novel for an idea of your category.

But wait….wtf are comps? How do I know what my comps are? 

Comps are comparable titles that some agencies or publishing houses will ask for, to get an idea of the tone / genre / audience for your book.

BUT WHAT IS MY GENRE? 

I’m getting there! The genre of your story the content-based category your story falls into. There are some pretty easy ways to distinguish outright genre - it’s subgenre that can be tricky and of utmost importance when it comes to marketing your story. Some major genres are fantasy, romance, sci-fi, and horror. Fantasy is dealing with the fantastic, obviously. So is sci-fi, but add...science. Romance revolves around...romantic scenarios, and horror is dealing with topics and themes to frighten or disturb the reader. 

BUT MY BOOK DOES ¾ OF THOSE THINGS!!!!!

Bitch me too you’re not special. That’s where subgenre is ESSENTIAL. Let’s talk fantasy subgenres in particular. 

What’s a subgenre?  

A subgenre is a subcategory of a genre. It’s in the name. Speculative fiction is almost its own genre which encompasses a lot of supernatural, scientific, futuristic themes - and the laws of those worlds are different than the real world. So a contemporary fantasy is set in our real world with a secret undercurrent or magical mythical things happening under the surface, such as Harry Potter or Percy Jackson. A fairytale fantasy might favor heavily from popular folklore - The Sea Witch and Cinder come to mind. High fantasy deals with epic good and evil struggles in fantastical universes - do you have fairies and elves in your story? It’s probably high fantasy. Magical realism is a tough one - it’s using magical elements to reinforce commentary on reality and real life situations. Love in the Time of Cholera is an example of magical realism. Romantic fantasy is exactly what is sounds like - the ACOTAR books are an example of that.

But ACOTAR also has elves and fairies!

Because subgenres overlap! Civil Blood is kind of a...paranormal romance contemporary speculative fiction: set in today’s real world with supernatural creatures, involving a romantic plot, with laws that upset the balance of the real world. Blood From A Stone, my WIP which I’ve billed as magical realism due to its commentary on our real world using magical allegory, could be considered contemporary fantasy with dystopian influences - don’t come for me and my complicated history with the dystopian genre. 

So in conclusion, it can take a lot of searching to figure out what your subgenre is, and by the time you’re ready to query your book, it should be obvious what side of the spectrum you fall on for the most part - obviously these all overlap a lot. But I hope that cleared some things up about discovering your genre.

#fiction writer #writers blog #writers of tumblr #am writing #writer woes #writers be like #ya fiction #ya paranormal #ya thriller #young adult #genre #subgenre #categories #indie author #civil blood #debut novel #am editing #ya spec fic #grassroots promotion #ya horror #book promotion #self publishing #traditional publishing #v. renae

[vrenaewrites]

My Traditional Publishing Experience...

While in the past I’ve talked about how I went from a kindle scout reject - never heard of it? Because it’s defunct lol - to signing my book deal, that was over a year ago.

A lot has changed in a year. My book came out, of course. I worked with my publisher in depth. I got my first royalty check. So, if you’re looking to go the traditional route, I wanted to let you in on the way my publishing journey went down and what’s next for me, my series, my new projects, and beyond.

At the beginning of 2018, I was querying like crazy: literary agents, small publishing houses that would take unagented manuscripts, you name it. Rejection after rejection poured into my gmail inbox. It’s the nature of the game. One day, I received a DM from New Traditions Publishing - they’d been seeing the excerpts from CB on my instagram feed and requested to see a full manuscript. I submitted the query and MS, received an offer, and had signed my contract by early May 2018.

Just to get real transparent here, these are some of the terms I agreed to, which I understand to be typical debut terms:

10% of the first 5,000 print copies sold

15% of all copies thereafter

50% of all epub copies sold

2 year exclusivity for NTP to retain the rights to CB

All ancillary rights retained by NTP for those 2 years (audiobook, movie, etc)

Quarterly royalty payments

Cool. Fine with me. I’m publishing my debut.

Things my publisher took care of for me:

Editing

Cover art

Formatting

ISBN purchase

Copyright fees

Print and production

Things that were up to me:

Marketing

Promotion

I was in Iowa visiting my sister the week of Independence Day when I received my edits from my editor. I spent July 4th on my mom’s tablet frantically reading through the proof and making adjustments. I would say I got my final proof in August of 2018, and an official print date of October 1, 2018. At that point, I decided to start a huge push in promo for the book.

Throughout this process, I had been working with the two cofounders of NTP. One had done my editing, and the other had handled a lot of the admin stuff, from my understanding.

The couple week lead-up to October 1 was harrowing, to say the least. I was waiting on advanced reader copies or ARCs to send out to contest winners and to have for other giveaways. I did not order my own book on amazon because I was under the impression that my book would be in my hands before anyone else got it. I got my physical book about 10 days after it was released - because I ended up ordering one. I did see my book the day it was released because I pre-ordered it on kindle just to see what it looked like since I didn’t have a kindle proof. My ARCs came sometime after that. On debut day, I was overwhelmed with excitement and joy and pride and fear and love for this thing I had created with my team at NTP.

They are a small two person operation that is going through some growing pains, and I don’t fault them for that, but I do feel like I was presented unrealistic expectations. They presented the idea that they were gonna be my publisher, editor, marketer, agent, distributor, etc. and that hasn’t been the case. Which is fine.

So now, we’re nine months in. Now, the sequel to CB, Accidental Evils, will be ready for an editor and a publishing plan any day now. What’s next for me?

At this time, my plan is to pursue self-publishing for the remainder of the Thistlewolf series. There are a few reasons:

I want more control

I want more of my profit

I want to hire my own editor

I am way more aware of what I need and want for my series

I want to be the one responsible for things. At the end of the day, I don’t wanna be mad at someone else for my book not turning out how I wanted.

With that said, look for a series in the next few months on this channel about the challenges and rewards of self-publishing.

Also, in case you didn’t catch it earlier, NTP has the rights to CB for 2 years. The rights revert back to me next May. So, sometime in 2020, maybe at some point perhaps expect a collector’s edition of CB to be released? Maybe perhaps I will be publishing a second edition of my debut? It’s possible?

If you’d like to see a blog or video detailing my book publishing plans and budgets for the Thistlewolf trilogy as well as the magical realism duology I’m currently working on, let me know.

#fiction writer #writers blog #writers of tumblr #am writing #writer woes #writers be like #ya fiction #ya paranormal #ya thriller #young adult #traditional publishing #self publishing #indie author #booktube #civil blood #debut author #debut novel #v renae #thistlewolf #writing a trilogy

[vrenaewrites]

My Traditional Publishing Experience...

While in the past I’ve talked about how I went from a kindle scout reject - never heard of it? Because it’s defunct lol - to signing my book deal, that was over a year ago.

A lot has changed in a year. My book came out, of course. I worked with my publisher in depth. I got my first royalty check. So, if you’re looking to go the traditional route, I wanted to let you in on the way my publishing journey went down and what’s next for me, my series, my new projects, and beyond.

At the beginning of 2018, I was querying like crazy: literary agents, small publishing houses that would take unagented manuscripts, you name it. Rejection after rejection poured into my gmail inbox. It’s the nature of the game. One day, I received a DM from New Traditions Publishing - they’d been seeing the excerpts from CB on my instagram feed and requested to see a full manuscript. I submitted the query and MS, received an offer, and had signed my contract by early May 2018.

Just to get real transparent here, these are some of the terms I agreed to, which I understand to be typical debut terms:

10% of the first 5,000 print copies sold

15% of all copies thereafter

50% of all epub copies sold

2 year exclusivity for NTP to retain the rights to CB

All ancillary rights retained by NTP for those 2 years (audiobook, movie, etc)

Quarterly royalty payments

Cool. Fine with me. I’m publishing my debut.

Things my publisher took care of for me:

Editing

Cover art

Formatting

ISBN purchase

Copyright fees

Print and production

Things that were up to me:

Marketing

Promotion

I was in Iowa visiting my sister the week of Independence Day when I received my edits from my editor. I spent July 4th on my mom’s tablet frantically reading through the proof and making adjustments. I would say I got my final proof in August of 2018, and an official print date of October 1, 2018. At that point, I decided to start a huge push in promo for the book.

Throughout this process, I had been working with the two cofounders of NTP. One had done my editing, and the other had handled a lot of the admin stuff, from my understanding.

The couple week lead-up to CIVIL BLOOD’s release was harrowing, to say the least. I was waiting on advanced reader copies or ARCs to send out to contest winners and to have for other giveaways. I did not order my own book on amazon because I was under the impression that my book would be in my hands before anyone else got it. I got my physical book about 2 days after it was released - because I ended up ordering one. I did see my book the day it was released because I pre-ordered it on kindle just to see what it looked like since I didn’t have a kindle proof. My ARCs came sometime after that. On debut day, I was overwhelmed with excitement and joy and pride and fear and love for this thing I had created with my team at NTP.

They are a small two person operation that is going through some growing pains, and I don’t fault them for that, but I do feel like I was presented unrealistic expectations. They presented the idea that they were gonna be my publisher, editor, marketer, agent, distributor, etc. and that hasn’t been the case. Which is fine.

So now, we’re nine months in. Now, the sequel to CB, Accidental Evils, will be ready for an editor and a publishing plan any day now. What’s next for me?

At this time, my plan is to pursue self-publishing for the remainder of the Thistlewolf series. There are a few reasons:

I want more control

I want more of my profit

I want to hire my own editor

I am way more aware of what I need and want for my series

I want to be the one responsible for things. At the end of the day, I don’t wanna be mad at someone else for my book not turning out how I wanted.

With that said, look for a series in the next few months on this channel about the challenges and rewards of self-publishing.

Also, in case you didn’t catch it earlier, NTP has the rights to CB for 2 years. The rights revert back to me next May. So, sometime in 2020, maybe at some point perhaps expect a collector’s edition of CB to be released? Maybe perhaps I will be publishing a second edition of my debut? It’s possible?

If you’d like to see a blog or video detailing my book publishing plans and budgets for the Thistlewolf trilogy as well as the magical realism duology I’m currently working on, let me know.

#fiction writer #writers blog #writers of tumblr #am writing #writer woes #writers be like #ya fiction #ya paranormal #ya thriller #young adult #debut author #indie author #civil blood