tapiokauwu

[tapiokauwu]

I want to get better and have a "normal" life but whatever, maybe I'm cursed and I deserve to suffer like this

#jirai kei #jirai onna #landmine girl #地雷系 #jiraiblogging #jiraiblr #地雷系女子 #地雷女子 #地雷女 #vent #bpd vent #bpd safe #actually bpd #bpd thoughts #bpd #actually borderline #borderline personality disorder

[tapiokauwu]

I don't want to be like this ರ⁠╭⁠╮⁠ರ

how do I undo it?

how do I cancel my whole life?

#jirai kei #jirai onna #landmine girl #地雷系 #jiraiblogging #jiraiblr #地雷系女子 #地雷女子 #地雷女 #bpd stuff #actually bpd #bpd thoughts #bpd safe #bpd #borderline personality disorder #actually borderline #tw self destructive thoughts #self destructive thoughts #tw sui ideation #sui ideation #su1c1dal #su1c1d4l #i hate this #i hate my existence #i hate my liiiiife

[tapiokauwu]

bpd culture is why am i like this?????? why am i like this why am i like this why am i like this why a m i like thsi why am i like this why am i like this why am il ike this why an i like this why am i like this why am i like this why am i like this why am i like this why am i like this why am i like this why am i like thtos why am i like this whhy an i like this why am i like this why am i like this why an i like this why am i like this why am i like tiis why am i like this why am i liem thsi why an i like this why am i like this why am il ike this why am i like this why am i likw this why am i like this why am i like this why am i like this why am i liek this why am i like this why ak i like this why am i like this why am i like this

[tapiokauwu]

I feel so stupid and lonely every time I text someone and that person doesn't answer and just reads the messages without saying anything back (it happens everyday).

Am I bothering you? Do you hate me? Am I not enough? Am I a boring person?

I fall into this endless paranoia and I feel like I'm a burden to everyone around me.

Please, don't ignore me.

#jirai kei #jirai onna #landmine girl #地雷系 #jiraiblogging #jiraiblr #地雷系女子 #地雷女子 #地雷女 #bpd struggles #bpd stuff #actually bpd #bpd thoughts #bpd safe #bpd vent #bpd #actually borderline #borderline personality disorder #vent

[tapiokauwu]

I hate myself so much, I'll never be able to love myself.

I'm so mad and I want to hurt myself because I'm not enough and I feel so lonely

#jirai kei #jirai onna #landmine girl #地雷系 #jiraiblogging #jiraiblr #tw self destructive thoughts #tw vent #vent #tw selfhate #self h4te #self destructive thoughts #tw self destructive behavior #tw self destruction #self destructive behavior #self destruction #s3lf hate #actually bpd #bpd vent #bpd #actually borderline #borderline personality disorder #borderline vent #self h@rm #s3lfharmm #tw sh in tags #地雷系女子 #地雷女 #地雷女子

[tapiokauwu]

No one understands or even tries to understand and it feels so bad... it's k1ll1ng me

#jirai kei #jirai onna #landmine girl #地雷系 #jiraiblogging #jiraiblr #地雷女 #地雷系女子 #地雷女子 #tw vent #vent #bpd safe #bpd vent #bpd struggles #actually bpd #bpd #bpd thoughts #actually borderline #borderline personality disorder #tw self destructive thoughts #tw depressing thoughts #no one cares #nobody understands #s3lf hate #self h4te #tw selfhate

[tapiokauwu]

having bpd is actual hell on earth cause no one tries to fucking understand you and they write you off as being difficult and too much and they leave and we’re left with this fucking personality disorder that consumes my entire fucking existence and they act like its THEIR inconvenience that IM ill.

[tapiokauwu]

I hate how attention deprived I get in only a few hours.

[tapiokauwu]

I wanna feel human again,

right now I feel like a monster.

Maybe nothing is real...?

It doesn't feel real...

Is this all a dream?

Please, make this nightmare stop.

#jirai kei #jirai onna #landmine girl #地雷系 #jiraiblogging #jiraiblr #derealization #depersonalisation and derealisation #derealisation tw #bpd safe #actually bpd #bpd #actually borderline #borderline personality disorder #mentally tired #mental health #tw mental health

[tapiokauwu]

Of course I'm disgusted by humans, we are horrible creatures who judge and are mean to each other just to entertain ourselves and feel superior

#jirai kei #jirai onna #landmine girl #地雷系 #jiraiblogging #jiraiblr

[tapiokauwu]

Ok guys, I found a way out of the "lack of healthy interpersonal relationships" dungeon... Let me level-up some more so I can finally beat the bpd boss!

Wait, why is it not working? What do you mean I can't beat it? GAME OVER???

Don't worry guys, I just need some more time!

Let's use cheat codes ;) *takes meds*

I REACHED 999999 DMG!

Wait... I JUST GOT ONESHOTTED???

The bpd boss is tough ngl

#idk how to tag this #jirai kei #jirai onna #landmine girl #地雷系 #jiraiblogging #bpd stuff #bpd safe #bpd thoughts #actually bpd #bpd #actually borderline #borderline personality disorder #meds mention #mental health #mental illness

[tapiokauwu]

These girls r so pretty I wanna r1p my own face 0ff!!!! Im inferior compared to them I cannot compete, what’s the point of living if i cant be prettier…

I’m so obsessed with comparing my body and face to others that idk who I am anymore, I mean it when I say I can go HOURS staring at photos of pretty girls nonstop for the sake of ruining myself as self discipline, why can’t I be like them?.

[tapiokauwu]

I have an obsession with cute things…I feel that this isn’t healthy anymore…･:*+.\(( °ω° ))/.:+

[tapiokauwu]

I honestly want to destroy myself.

But I also want to get better.

I'm so indecisive (⁠╯⁠°⁠□⁠°⁠）⁠╯⁠︵⁠ ⁠┻⁠━⁠┻

#jirai kei #jirai onna #landmine girl #地雷系 #jiraiblogging #jiraiblr #bpd stuff #actually bpd #bpd safe #bpd #actually borderline #borderline personality disorder #tw self destructive thoughts #tw mental health #tw mental illness #mental health #mental illness #mentally tired #self destructive thoughts

[tapiokauwu]

It's been five years and I can't forget him. I don't even know what he looks like now, but every time I see his house I wonder how he's doing and if he still lives there. He used to treat me badly, he didn't like me at all, but I can't deny how I felt. I've never been a good person so I can't complain, I deserve to be hated. But somehow it hurts, why can't I forget him? He never cared about me but I kinda miss him.

#jirai kei #jirai onna #landmine girl #地雷系 #jiraiblogging #jiraiblr #lovesick #i miss him #i'm sorry for being annoying #please come back #vent #love vent #idk how to tag this #idk what else to tag

[tapiokauwu]

I dislike how I need validation all the time.

[tapiokauwu]