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mstrickster · 5 months

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What are the Bat family's favorite curse words?

I love how I got this ask for both of my like Main fandoms! I don't know who you are, Anon, but I love you!

Anyways!

The batfam is fun because they are from Jersey, so I know for a fact all of them cuss. Maybe not Alfred, but the rest of them do. Anyways, let's cover their favorite curse words.

Bruce: I fully believe that Bruce would curse like my grandmother curses. This means it's profanity, but it doesn't seem like one. Because he is a high society gentleman, he can't be out here cussing out people. Therefore, I think his favorite curse word is bitties. Now, this may not look like a curse word, but don't be fooled. My grandmother would use it to refer to orny old ladies. A bittie is an old bitch or sometimes just a bitch. Bruce would use it to rant about rich people to Alfred.

Dick: Now, part of me thinks that Dick doesn't really curse. At least he doesn't now. He cursed up a storm when he was younger and a menace as Robin. However, as the eldest, I could see him not wanting to because he doesn't want to affect his younger siblings. He's still a menace, but he has a reputation to uphold now. So he would probably try to use any other word other than a cuss word. When he was younger his favorite was fuck. He liked to screaming at people.

Jason: Now, some people may think that Jason has the potty mouth of the group. However, I think that would be Tim. Jason does swear quite frequently, though. However, because he is an English nerd, his swears are very unique. I could see him telling somebody to stop talking because they are bringing shame to the human language. However, when he has to swear and he will, his go-to is shit. This is mostly used in a confused way. Like his favorite phrase is probably "What the shit?"

Tim: I fully believe that Tim and Stephanie are the worst when it comes to cursing. Tim can at least act like he doesn't curse. However, when left to his own devices, he will drop so many profanities. Most of it is second nature, and he doesn't realize he's doing it. Unless somebody chides him. His favorite and go to word is motherfucker.

Damian: Damien is another one who doesn't really curse because that's just not how he talks. He strikes me as somebody who uses like Shakespearean insults. He just talks that way. Like he would drop a "your mother is a hamster and your father smells of elderberries" to somebody. However, when he does curse, he does it in Arabic. I can see his two favorites being Kol Khara (eat shit) and Kalb (dog).

Duke: I love Duke so much. I know that is in a part of the ask, but I just wanted to say that. I could see Duke being the second or third most likely to swear out of the whole batfam. He is outdone by Tim, Steph, and Kate. He doesn't see curse words as bad. More as word enhancers. He does have an image of "the normal one," so he doesn't curse outside the manor usually. His favorite word is fuck because it is so easily adapted to add a little extra to a sentence.

Cass: Cass doesn't really swear. She doesn't need swear words to come off as intimidating. Now I don't believe she doesn't know certain swear words. In fact, she probably learned most of them by sneaking up on people. A lot of people scream curse words when they're scared. She does giggle at the word ass though. She thinks it's funny.

Steph: Unlike Tim or any of the actual Wayne children, Steph doesn't have to hide the fact that she's a gremlin. Therefore, she is most likely to openly cuss. She doesn't really care. She is the type to use cuss words as a greeting. I could fully see her coming up to Tim and shouting "what's up whore!" Or "what's up bitch!!" First time it happened she made front page news. "Girl curses at Wayne Enterprise CEO!" She was very proud of that article. She had it framed.

Luke: I feel like Luke doesn't really cuss unless it's referring to somebody else. Like I could totally see him using the phrase "White people bullshit." Picture it, Bruce gets shot at and tries to continue to fight, and Luke curses him out for his "White people bullshit!"

Kate: Kate is a connoisseur of curse words. She has a variety. Her favorite is probably damn. For no other apparent reason other than it's short and easy to say. However, she is more than open to using many different options. One time when Bruce was being a twat she called him a cuntwaffle. It was beautiful.

Harper: Harper is probably in the same vein as Stephanie, where she'll use cuss words as like a greeting. However, she uses them mostly when she's in costume. So like the others will be fighting bad guys and she'll just swing in and be like, "what's up bitches!" First time it happened Damian shouted "I am not a female dog!"

Cullen: Cullen doesn't swear because Harper is a hypocrite, and she taught Cullen that swearing was rude. He does tell people off but refuses to cuss. Doing so actually makes his comebacks cut deeper.

Selena: Selena also doesn't swear, but for her, it's most for aesthetic reasons. I mean, would a lady as lovely as her sully her mouth with such vile language? Of course not. Besides, you don't need words to steal the valuables from right under someone's nose.

Harley: Harley swears, but she doesn't see the words as swear words. Mostly because she swaers very casually. Funnily enough most people don't catch it either. So she usually gets away with saying curse words.

I think that is everyone I have a good knowledge of. Thank you for the ask!

#batfam #batfamily #anon ask #anon answered

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lailoken · 3 years

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“Elder (Sambucus nigra), also known as boor or bour tree.

Elder is one of the most enigmatic plants in British folk tradition. On one hand it is feared and associated with WITCHES and on the other it is valued for its protective qualities, as a fly repellent, and for its use in many herbal remedies.

The whole plant hath a narcotic smell; it is not well to sleep under its shade. [Withering, 1776: 186]

[In Leitrim, Waterford and the south of Ireland] the elder or 'bore' tree is believed to have been the tree from which Judas Iscariot hanged himself. The proof of which is the fact that its leaves have an 'ugly smell', and, moreover, that its fruit has since degenerated from its original size and excellent flavour, and become worthless both as to size and taste. [Anon., 1916: 425]

It was said at Beckley that if you burn elder wood you will become bewitched. You never cut it down. In Wootton they say that the elder is a witch tree. You should not mend a wattle hedge with it, as it will give the witches power. If you cut it, it will bleed. [Oxfordshire Women's In- stitute groups, 1950s]

Unlucky to burn Tramman [elder], it is the FAIRIES’ tree. [Lezayre, Isle of Man, c.1975; Manx Folklife Survey]

Normally in the Isle of Man elder is the fairies' tree which is unlucky to cut down, or burn when fallen. I was told in 1992 by a forestry worker of his pleasure that a large elder had blown over into the field adjoining his garden and thus relieved him of the need to find someone willing to remove it. [Union Mills, Isle of Man, October 1993]

Elder flowers—it is alright to pick the flowers for wine or culinary use, but the tree is a friend of witches and the wood should never come into the house. [Ashreigney, Devon, July 1983]

Elder—unlucky to bring either flowers or wood into a house: (a) because it is the witches' tree, (b) because it was believed that Judas Iscariot hanged himself from an elder tree, (c) because if you fall asleep under elder flowers the scent will poison you or you will never wake up. [Driffield, Humber- side, March 1985]

Collecting firewood from the hedges surrounding the cottage and returning happily laden, but being accused of bringing bits of elder into the house—it was considered unlucky to use these to light a fire. [Bow Street, Dyfed, October 1984]

The only unlucky plant which I have heard of is the elder tree, which the old people looked upon as unlucky. As I have heard the old people say, it was unhealthy to have an elder tree growing near the house as it was often noted the inhabitants seemed more prone to TUBERCULOSIS or 'Consumption' as it was known in Ireland in the old days. However, as TB was rampant all over the country at that time, I don't know if the belief would have any significance. My own people however would not cut down an elder bush or burn it no matter how old or rotten it was. Nor allow an elder stick in the house, and it would be an unforgivable act to strike a child or even an animal with one. [Kill Village, Co. Kildare, October 1984]

The family name dies out on the property where the elder grows in the kitchen garden. [Skibbereen, Co. Cork, January 1993]

Do you know the Rollright Stones in Oxfordshire? You can't count them; you never get the same number twice. In the next field there is a big stone called King Arthur, and there are various stones called after his Knights around. There are some elder bushes nearby. We used to go there as children on our bicycles and try to count the stones. We were told that if we picked a flower or a berry from these elderberry bushes we would be turned into stone. We used to dare each other to pick a berry or a flower, but no one ever did. [Mitcham, Surrey, May 1986]

However, in the early part of the nineteenth century:

On Midsummer Eve, when the 'eldern' tree was in blossom, it was a custom for people to come up to the King Stone and stand in a circle. Then the 'eldern' was cut, as it bled 'the King moved his head.' [Evans, 1895: 20]

Sometimes it was thought that wood, berries, or flowers could be safely taken from an elder only if the tree's permission had been sought first.

Hearing one day that a baby in a cottage close to my own was ill, I went across to see what was the matter. Baby appeared right enough, and I said so; but its mother promptly explained. 'It were all along of my maister's thick 'ed; it were in this how: t'rocker cummed off t'cradle, an' he hedn't no more gumption than to mak' a new ’un out on illerwood without axing the Old Lady's leave, an' in coorse she didn't like that, and she came and pinched t'wean that outrageous he were a'most black i' t' face; but I bashed 'un off, an putten an' esh 'un on, an' t'wean is as gallus as owt agin.' This was something quite new to me, and the clue seemed worth following up. So going home I went straight down to my backyard, where old Johnny Holmes was cutting up firewood—‘chopping kindling,' as he would have said. Watching the opportunity, I put a knot of elder-wood in the way and said, 'You are not feared of chopping that are you ?' 'Nay, he replied at once, 'I bain't feared of choppin' him, he bain't wick (alive); but if her were wick I dussn't, not without axin’ the Old Gal's leave, not if it were ever so'.. . (The words to be used are): 'Oh, them's slape enuff.' You just says, 'Owd Gal, give me of thy wood, and Oi will give some of moine, when I graws inter a tree.' [Heanley, 190I: 55]

If you chop an elder tre e or fell it, you should bow three times and say:

Old Woman, Old Woman, Give me some of your wood And when I am dead I'll give you some of mine. [Whitwick, Leicestershire, August 1983]

[Staffordshire, 1930s:] my mother said it was the thing if one wanted blossoms or fruit from an elder tree to say 'Please Mother Elder may I have .. .' [Ponsanooth, Cornwall, November 1993]

In addition to records of elder being inauspicious, there are many rec- ords of it being a beneficial, protective tree.

[In Northumberland] an old man told me that his aunt used to keep a piece of bour tree, or elder, constantly in her kist (chest) to prevent her clothes from malign influence. [Hardy, 1895: 325]

In south Wales it was deemed very dangerous to build any premises on or near the spot where an eldertree stood. In the past an elder planted before the door of a cow-shed or stable protected the cows and horses from witchcraft and sorcery. [Trevelyan, 1909: 103]

[In Scotland elder was] often planted near old crofts and cottages as protection from witches. [Webster, 1978: 342]

[In Guernsey elder] had to be planted as near as possible to the back door, the most used entrance, since it was a sacred tree and a good protection against witchcraft. [McClintock, 1987: 33]

[In Ireland] it is considered lucky to have an elderberry bush grow near your house, especially if it is "self-set'. [Bracknell, Berkshire, August 1984]

Mother used elder leaves to make a pattern on the floor-bricks. Painting around them with red paint. Making the cross with elder leaves. This was an old custom, going back to her grandmother's time, so the custom had to be continued despite the time-consuming nature of the work. [Bow Street, Dyfed, March 1984]

Elder: this was called Boortree... The leaves were boiled and the water used to dose pigs. For this purpose, and because it was supposed to be a protection against LIGHTNING, there was a tree of it at every house. It can still be seen growing in places where there are no houses now, but where houses were years ago. [Lenamore, Co. Longford, April 1991]

Family folklore passed on to me includes . . . one should plant a ROWAN and elder tree and never cut them down, in order to keep witches away. [Parkstone, Dorset, June 1991]

I can remember as a child elder growing around the wooden bottom-of-the-garden 'lavvy' at my uncle's farm near Brentwood, Essex, and many other similar loos with elder adjacent. I was told that the elder would live 'almost for ever', as if one root died off another would spring from a fallen branch or twig. They were treated with 'respect' as they kept away bad magic—no one used the word 'witches'—but the inference was there. [Yafforth, North Yorkshire, January 1990]

More usually elder trees were planted around toilets and other build ings to deter FLIES.

Elder bushes are invariably to be seen outside the dairy windows on the north side of old-fashioned farmhouses in the Midlands. This was done because elder-leaves are supposed to be very objectionable to flies, wasps and other insects, the tree thus provided both shade and protection. For the same reason a switch of elder with leaves on is used when taking or driving a swarm of bees. [N &Q, 11 ser. 12: 489, 1915]

When inspecting a slaughter house [in Cornwall] a summer or two ago, I commented on the absence of flies, and was told that this was due to a large elder bush growing some feet away and that branches of elder in any building would keep flies away. [Peter, 1915: 123]

An elderberry tree was always grown near the house—I think it was to keep flies away. [Didcot, Oxfordshire, February 1991]

According to some friends of mine elderberry bushes were planted by water butts and outside privies so that the smell would keep the flies away. [Horseheath, Cambridgeshire, April 1991]

As a youth my late father worked on the land...Often handling horses it was common practice to tie bunches of elder leaves to the harness to ward off flies. [St Osyth, Essex, February 1989]

My wife, who comes from Northumberland, tells me that her mother used to make up a concoction with elder flower when she was a child. All the family washed their faces in it to keep virulent Northumbrian midges at bay. She remembers it smelling not too pleasant, and tended to keep other children away as well, so she would take the first opportunity to wash it off! [Hexham, Northumberland, June 1988]

About twelve years ago in Girton, Cambridge, a small swarm of bees (apparently known as a 'cast') settled on a plum tree in our garden, about six feet up. A neighbour, Mr C. G. Puck (now 84 years old), a retired shepherd and lifelong beekeeper, came to collect the bees. He removed the queen bee from the swarm and placed her under a small open wooden box inverted on the ground under the tree. He then asked for a sprig of elder and laid this about nine inches above the swarm, saying that the smell of it was disliked by bees, and by the early evening all the bees had moved into the box . . . He had learned of the use of elder in this fashion from his beekeeper father, in his native village of Thriplow, south Cambridgeshire. [Girton, Cambridge, May 1988]

On the Isle of Man:

Each old cottage has a 'trammon', or elderberry tree, outside the door. This is used by the 'Phynodderree' to swing in. He is a kind of faun who can bring much luck, and even helps materially in outside work. [Daily News, 27 January 1926]

[Fairies] liked most of all to swing and play in the elder trees, and these were always thought of as fairy trees in the Isle of Man. There wasn't a house or farm that didn't have its 'tramman' tree planted by the door or in the garden 'for the fairies'. Many of them are still to be seen; the single tree will soon have grown into a thicket, hiding the old ruined house, but a sure sign that a house once stood there . . . When the wind was blowing the branches, it was then that the fairies were believed to be riding the tramman trees, but it was said that they would desert a house or a farm where the trees had been cut down. This must have happened only very rarely: no-one would cut a branch of the tramman, let alone the tree itself, but if it was done the fairies grieved. [Killip, 1975: 35]

Regardless of whether elder is considered to be malevolent or protec- tive, most of the folk beliefs associated with the tree appear to be con- cerned with its protection and preservation. Two quotations from herbalists writing in the 1940s demonstrate the value of the elder tree.

[According to my [g*psy] friend] the healingest tree that on earth do grow be the elder, them sez, and take it all round I should say 'twas. [Quelch, 1941: 78]

[Elder has] the unusual distinction of being useful in every part. [Ransom, 1949: 55]

Thus it is possible that the various folk beliefs associated with elder were due, at least in part, to efforts to protect a valuable resource.

The period when elder flowered was sometimes considered to be a time when the weather was poor. In the Basingstoke area of Hampshire this time was known as the elderbloom winter [Maida Hill, Lon- don, December 1982], while in Cheshire:

Weather prophets say that if the weather breaks while the elder-flowers are coming out, it will be soaking wet (in Cheshire parlance, drabbly) until they fade. [Hole, 1937: 49]

Francis Bacon (1561–1626) recorded: 'They say' WARTS can be removed by rubbing them 'with a Green Elder Sticke and then bury- ing the Sticke to rot in Mucke' [Bacon, 1631: 258]. Similarly:

A 15-year-old girl, writing in 1954, says that her grandfather told her to pick a small twig of elderberry, touch her warts with it, chant the words, “Wart, wart, on my knee, Please go, one, two, three” and put it 'down the toilet'. [Opie, 1959: 315]

Elder is, perhaps, the wild plant most widely used in folk medicine.

Queen of all Forest [of Dean] remedies was 'ellum blow tea'...The flowers were gathered in the spring and hung up to dry in closed paper bags ... in the kitchen ... You dared not sneeze in the winter or down came the bag, a good handful was put in a jug, covered with boiling water, covered with a tea towel, and left to infuse. One had to force this evil-smelling brew down one's throat willy-nilly. I loathed it, and to this day can recall that smell of cats which emanated from it. Poultices of the mixture were used for SPRAINS, aches, etc., in joints, also for boils and 'gathered' fingers—whitlows and so on. It seemed to be a universal panacea; the only use it didn't have was for constipation . . . Elder berries were favoured too; they were boiled up with sugar, the resulting syrup strained, bottled, and used in winter for coughs and colds . . .There is not a Forester alive over the age of 70 who does not know ellum blow tea. [Cinder- ford, Gloucestershire, November 1993]

Elder berries when fried with mutton fat are used for BOILS and ULCERS. [IFCSS MSS 414: 43, Co. Clare]

Elder root when boiled and the water drank supposed to cure RHEUMAT- ISM. [IFCSS MSS 700: 35, Co. Meath]

An infusion of elder flowers in boiling water will alleviate PILES. [Horsted Keynes, West Sussex, February 1991]

A green ointment could be made from the leaves, based on mutton fat, and the creamy white flowers made Elderflower Water for the complexion. The flowers, dried in the sun and stored in a paper bag make a good remedy to break a hard COUGH and bring up phlegm. I always pick and dry some when they are in bloom, put the full of your fingers (one hand) in a mug, pour boiling water over and let it infuse for ten minutes. A little milk or fruit juice can be added. [Lenamore, Co. Longford, April 1991]

For flus and FEVERS

40 oz whiskey bottle. Pick, clean, weigh, one pound ripe elder berries. Delete the strings (most strings anyway) using a fork, and put berries into empty bottle. Add 4 lb sugar. Top up with a bottle (or most of a bottle) of whiskey. Seal well. Store for 3 months and strain. Use strongest spirit. Dose—Strong glass of this 'Elderfire'—add hot water (as hot as possible) and drink. Take 2 or 3 spoons of honey with drink. Repeat each night (or more frequently)–usually two nights is sufficient to clear the flu/fever results guaranteed. [Killarney, Co. Kerry, September 1991]

[My mother, who was 94 when she died in 1987] used to collect elder-flower in the spring, and dried it. In the winter if we had colds or flu, the elderflower was put in a jug covered with boiling water and put on the hob to stew. At night we were given this (strained) with sugar and a few drops of peppermint oil added. We were given a teacup full of this at night, and in the morning we had to drink half a cupful of this cold mixture. It was supposed to sweat out the fever. She used to tell me how she pulled me through PNEUMONIA by poulticing with hot flannel and sips of elderflower tea, day and night. [Hill, Worcestershire, October 1991]

When my three children were small and we had wintery weather (and it can be very cold up here at the foot of the Cairngorms), I made elder-flower wine, and when it was time for them coming from school I had three cups, bowl of sugar, bottle of elderflower wine and the kettle boiling, and I gave them a tody; they never had colds or flu. [Boat-of-Garten, Inverness-shire, November 1991]

Elder flowers and berries are widely collected by makers of homemade wines. The flowers can also be used in cooking [Ó’Ceirin, 1980: o1), and the fruits have been recommended as a substitute for currants [Ransom, 1949: 55]. Elder leaves have been used as a TOBACCO substitute.

Myself, my brother and a friend always smoked elder leaves when money was not available for tailor-made cigarettes. We spent much time in the woodland of Thetford Chase, where on our regular walks we would break down, but not completely snap off, small sprigs of the elder. We found that if we severed the supply of sap completely the leaves on the sprig would dry out resulting in a hot strong smoke. We found that if the leaves remained just slightly damp they were a quite pleasant smoke. It was obviously trial and error, sometimes they remained too wet to burn properly. We would stuff the leaves very lightly into the stems of various umbellifers...We actually prefered these cigarettes to the tailor-made, but they were not available during winter. [West Stow, Suffolk, November 1992]

Elder wood is characterized by its pith, which can be easily removed.

[On Colonsay] boys aspiring to be pipers made chanters of the young branches [of elder], which are full of pith and easily bored. [McNeill, 1910: 130].

Haw-blowers are made by scooping the pith out of an elder branch. Haws are blown through these. [IFCSS MSS 700: 338, Co. Meath]

The people of the parish were able to make toy guns. They got an elder stick about one and a half feet long and scraped out the inside. Then they got a stick about the same length and made it fit into the hole and then the gun was made. [IFCSS MSS 867: 132, Co. Kilkenny]

At the the beginning of the century children in parts of Devon used to make pop-guns' out of elder: they would force a hole through the pith, and then fashion a ram-rod out of HAZEL WOOD. Chewed paper would be rammed down the hollowed elder sticks, and pressed out with considerable force. Great sport ensued. [Lafonte, 1984: 35]

There was another use for the Boor tree in olden times. A suitable length was cut and seasoned, then the white pith in the centre was scraped out, lead was then melted and poured in. When set, this made a good weapon for protection on a journey or out walking at night...My aunt who was born in 1894 remembered one man who had such a stick. [Lenamore, Co. Longford, April 1991]

[In Horsefield, Cambridgeshire] for winter feeding one beekeeper used to make little troughs out of elder wood; he cut pieces about the thickness of a finger and five or six inches long, tapered off one end and removed the pith, and used them for replenishing the bees' honey by inserting this end in the exit hole. [Parsons MSS, 1952]”

—

Oxford Dictionary of Plant-Lore

by Roy Vickery

#elder #elder tree #elderberry #elder mother #plant lore #herbcraft #folklore #Roy Vickery #Oxford Dictionary of Plant-Lore

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ghoulboyboos · 6 years

Note

fic prompt: magic shenanigans. do with that what you will. could be a crack-ish fic, if you so please!

Okay I wasn’t sure where to go with this but I havenever written a Hogwarts AU before so I hope it’s okay. (They’rethe same age here because otherwise you never interact in thisschool, it seems.)

Ryan stares at the page and tries to recall if he hadalready added the worms wart or not. A double dose would probablydestroy his cauldron and he just bought a new one.

Hesheepishly glances at his classmates. Potions classes weren’t tooterrible for Hufflepuffs, because thanks to Professor Sprout, theyknew at least half the ingredients they work with. Still, it doesn’thelp that his mind is somewhere else. He’s thinking about theupcoming Quidditch game and about the Christmas party and … well.Ryan looks up.

The boynext to him is frowning at his cauldron which has started to spit outorange and green bubbles. Ryan suppresses a snort. Shane has been hisbest friend since they met in first year in the Hogwarts Express andstarted chatting excitedly about what was waiting ahead. Ryan haddescribed himself “half-and-half”, meaning one of his parents wasa muggle and Shane had cheerily stated that the only other magicalperson in his family is his grandmother who had basically thanked allheavens because Shane’s siblings were muggles and she had thoughtshe would never have a grandchild that went to Hogwarts.

Eventhough they ended up in different houses, they spent a lot of timewith one another. After the second wizard war, the houses had sortof… melded together a bit. There was still some good naturedrivalry between them, but the hostility had faded under the terror ofwhat these splits could cause. Shane loved to hang out in theHufflepuff common room, mostly because he hated to take the stars allthe way up to the Ravenclaw tower. But one evening, when he had beenhalf asleep, he had whispered that the main reason why he liked tohang out there was, that it felt very much like Ryan’s home. And heloved to spend time with Ryan.

TheHufflepuff boy had tried not to think too much about it. Year six wastough, there was a lot to learn, a lot to prepare for and a lot ofnew subjects. He really tried to focus. And yet…

“Shane?”

Shanelooks up from his cauldron. He has poured the Unicorn milk in thereand the potion is a bit too thick compared to the goal, but at leastthe bubbles have stopped.

“Doyou remember if I put the worm wart in this?”

“Uh.I didn’t pay attention.”

“Shit,neither did I.”

Shanechuckles. Then, he pauses and his face lights up. Ryan can basicallysee an idea pop into his head.

“What?”

Shanewinks at him – which always makes Ryan kind of fluttery – andtake his hand. Ryan is about to protest when Shane brings up hisfingers and sniffs them. It’s so weird that Ryan is just…standing there, kind of frozen as he stares at Shane.

“Youdid.”

“Wh-how?”

“Wormwart stinks to high heaven. I never get that off of my fingers.”

“Oh.”

Ryanstares at his hand after Shane let it go.

“Thankyou.”

“Noproblem.”

Shanegrins and drops the elderberry in, mutters something – Ryanrealizes it’s not a spell, it’s just Shane saying “Please forthe love of Peeve’s stupid hat let this work.” - and spits in thebrew.

Thesmell of mint spreads around them and Shane punches both hands to theceiling in silent celebration. Ryan golf-claps, trying to hold hisbright smile back.

“HeyRyan?” Shane asks one evening over a match of wizard chess.

“Hm?”Ryan nudges his pawn to smash Shane’s knight into pieces. Shaneisn’t paying attention, clearly.

“Doyou want to go to Hogsmeade with me this weekend?”

Ryanglances up.

“Sure?What did you have in mind?”

Shanesmiles.

“It’sa surprise.”

Hogsmeadeis cold and snowed in but beautiful. Ryan is laughing as Shane shovesa long, way-too-colorful hat over his ears and lets the pompom on topbounce. He looks ridiculous and Ryan’s face feels oddly warm.

Theygrab a butterbeer each and wander around the village afterwards.Somewhere between the center and the outskirts, Shane has snuck hishis hand into Ryan’s and Ryan has pointedly ignored any chance tocomment on it.

Shanehasn’t yet let up what the surprise is and Ryan is getting a littlenervous. But Shane is humming a Christmas song and holding his hand,so he feels like he can “endure” the situation a little longer.

Finally,on top of a small hill, Shane stops.

Ryanlooks around. All he can spot is a field. Far away, almost near thehorizon he can see the outlines of the Shrieking Shack. He exhales asShane pulls his hand away, willing himself not to be toodisappointed. His breath billows out in a cloud in front of his mouthand Ryan can’t look over at Shane, because he’s afraid of what iscoming.

MaybeShane has figured out what Ryan is feeling and wants to let him downgently. Maybe he wants to tell Ryan that they can’t hang out overChristmas. With Ryan’s parents working in the USA, Ryan usuallyspends Christmas at Hogwarts. Shane alternates between spending it athome and at Hogwarts. When Ryan had asked why, Shane had shrugged andsaid he wanted to spend it with his friends sometimes. He hasn’tgone home last year. Maybe he is going to tell Ryan that he will gohome this year, instead.

“Ryan?You in there?”

Ryanblinks and looks over at Shane. His face is a little too close and hecan see the slight freckles around Shane’s nose. His Ravenclawscarf almost hides his mouth completely, but Ryan just sort of knowsthat he’s smiling.

“Yeah,sorry. I was thinking of the holidays.”

“It’sgonna be fun! I asked for a new wizard’s chess! We can play allthrough till New Years.”

Ryanlaughs.

“Allthat practice still won’t get you to beat me.”

Shanesticks out his tongue, but he’s grinning.

“So Istill got that surprise.”

“Okay.”Ryan takes a deep breath, preparing. “What is it?”

Shanewinks at him and pulls his wand from his sleeve.

Ryanfrowns at Shane widens his stance and points the wand at the openfield. His eyes stay on Ryan for some reason and Ryan feels a littlenervous.

“Shane…?”

Shanelicks his lips for a moment and then grins at Ryan widely.

“ExpectoPatronum!”

Hethrusts his wand forward and despite the bright sunlight and thesnow, Ryan can see the silver thingburst out of the tip of the wand and rush out into the field. It’sa small creature and Ryan catches the sight of four legs and floppyears before it bounds off. He’s staring, open mouthed.

“You-You did it!”

Hisvoice jumps a bit as he turns to Shane with wide eyes and his armsthrown wide.

“Youcracked it! You created a patronus!”

Shaneis grinning widely. His cheeks are dusted pink and he turns to Ryanand before Ryan knows what’s happening, he is wrapped in a hug. Ohwell. He won’t complain.

Hesqueezes Shane back and they pull away again. Shane looks a littlesheepish.

“Iwanted to show you first because… well… You kind of, helped me.”

“Helpedyou?”

Shanelooks out on the field. His patronus finished the dash across thefield and is running back. Ryan glances at it…

Andnearly falls over.

Asmall, excited dachshund is bounding towards them. He is silver andsee-through, but there are still the hints of marks on its back andhead. Ryan is looking at the patronus-version of his family dog,Micki.

“Whatthe-”

Thedog stops in front of him, jumps once, twice against his leg and Ryanfeels the barest brush of air when it does. The dog yips and itsounds faint and echo-y and then it disperses.

Ryanlooks up.

Shane’seyes are trained on his face and his best friend looks apprehensiveand… almost scared.

“Shane...”Ryan starts carefully. “Why… Why is Micki your patronus?”

Shaneswallows visibly.

“Because...”He starts carefully. “Because thinking of you is my happiestpossible thought.”

“Oh.”Ryan says, understanding.

Hecan see Shane’s shoulders droop as his friend lowers his gaze tothe ground.

“Yeah.So… I guess, I wanted you to know.”

Ryanfeels his heart beat fast as he steps closer. He cups Shane’s facein his hands and tilts it up a little so he can look up into it.Shane is so stupidly tall, but right now, he doesn’t care.

“Thankyou.” He says, because he doesn’t know what else to say and thenhe kisses Shane.

Theystand together for a while, fresh snow falling around them. Ryanholds Shane’s hand, their fingers entangled and the other hand onthe back of Shane’s neck. His stomach feels like a whole collectionof Weasley Fireworks is going off inside and his feet are gettingcold and Ryan feels better than he has all year.

Fuck.Now he has to practice his patronus. Shane clearly won’t let uptill Micki has Dori to run around with. Oh well.

Thereare worse goals.

#shyan #skeptic believer #ask #anonymous #prompts #hogwarts au #Anonymous

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azeeble · 6 years

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five favorite plants

@hashtag-anthems asked me what my five favorite plants are (and apparently my ask box was closed) so here they are

For the record this is really hard and subject to change because I love a LOT of plants

Favorite tree: Thuja occidentalis, or northern white-cedar (closest to favorite plant of all, and I have a lot to say about it). The leaves are scale-like and squished along the stem to make long plated fronds, and the cones are about a centimeter or two long, tan-brown with long cone bits (can't think of the word and don't wanna look it up; and I don't have a picture of the fronds up close). The bark is soft and furrows into long straight strips, easily flaking off. In fact, if you cut deep enough into the bark, you can peel off lengths of it to be used in basket-making! As long as you don't collect more than half (ideally no more than a third) of the bark around the tree, it should survive just fine. The leaves and sap have a pleasant clean smell, somewhat pine-y. It often grows in large groves of just cedar with little understory, and the roots and trunks can gnarl into funky shapes. It will grow in various environments but particularly likes wet spots alongside rivers. When growing along a river, the roots can leach bright red tannins into the water, dyeing the whole riverbed a rust color. I love this plant for all those reasons and more: it was one of the first trees I ever learned to identify (from my grandfather) and because of that I have a lot of great memories of it. It is also considered a sacred plant by certain Native American groups, including the Odawa, Ojibwa, and Potawatomi; it is given the honorific Nookomis, "My Grandmother". The first time I went out with an Odawa teacher to collect cedar for basket-making was an incredibly spiritual experience for me and cemented a special place in my heart for My Grandmother Cedar.

Favorite fern: Onoclea sensibilis, also known as sensitive fern. This one is just a cutie. You can cook and eat the leaves like spinach, and it grows in a lot of wet places. It's a friendly happy guy. One of my professors calls it "Gumby fern".

Favorite wildflower: Veronica serpyllifolia, one of the tiniest of bebs. Also called thyme-leaved speedwell. The speedwells can be used as expectorant teas, and some one or two species probably grow in your lawn! The largest of this species' flowers are only as big as your pinky nail.

Favorite edible: kinda a copout category so maybe "traditional edible". I love elderberries and elderflowers. In Michigan, the edible black-berried elder is Sambucus canadensis, a beautiful shrub that blossoms in spring and early summer (they smell amazing!) and puts out sweet black fruits in late summer and fall. Both the flowers and berries are harvested for wine, cordials, syrups, perfumes, jams... My grandmother even remembers her grandmother harvesting the blossoms, dipping them in a batter, and frying them to make elderflower fritters. The flavor is interesting -- perfumey and pungent, if you like that sort of thing. To tell the black-berried elder apart from its potentially toxic red-berried cousin, you can use the obvious fruit color, or at other times of the year you can look for the white-tan inside or pith of the second-year twigs on the black (the red will have a bright rusty orange inside), or pay attention to the shape of the flowering head. The edible variety will have a flat-topped flowering stalk or inflorescence, while the toxic red-berried will have a pyramidal shape.

Favorite family: aaaaaaaand because I'm kinda cheating I'm going for a whole taxon as my last favorite. The family I would call my favorite because I likely know the most about it is the Iridaceae. The Iridaceae is split into six sub-families, the largest of which is the Iridoideae; the largest genus within that is the genus Iris. You've probably heard of garden irises -- they're very popular and come in many shapes and shades, though most common is purple. The genus is made of 200+ taxa with a very specific floral arrangement of three petals and three large, showy modified sepals. Most of the diversity of Iris is found in South Africa, but species are found all over the world; the species I am currently studying is Iris versicolor, a wetland plant native to Michigan. The sister genera to Iris are also interesting and beautiful. In particular, Dietes and Neomarica have some absolutely beautiful flowers!

And those are my five favorite plants (kinda)! Thanks for asking @hashtag-anthems, this was fun to think about and write out.

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