#your experience is valuable for developing understanding but it's always inevitably limited to yourself

[quelliee]

there's a big difference between standpoint epistemology, the observation that marginalized people are better positioned to understand certain social processes, and "the only way to understand anything is through first hand experience"

#standpoint epistemology is an important insight #but it's not a law of nature!! #your experience is valuable for developing understanding but it's always inevitably limited to yourself

[pictureyourpurpose]

8 Tips to Get Un-stuck in Your Career

Introduction:

Feeling stuck in life or your career is a common experience that many of us face at some point. It can be frustrating and disheartening, but the good news is that you have the power to break free from the rut and create positive change. As a life coach, I have helped individuals navigate through such challenges and discover their true potential.  Here are 8 tips to get un-stuck in your career that I have learned to help you embark on a fulfilling journey of personal and professional growth.

Tip # 1:  Define your goals and values

The first step towards getting unstuck is gaining clarity about what you truly want. Take the time to reflect on your values, passions, and aspirations. Set specific, realistic goals that align with your values. This process will help you regain focus and direction, enabling you to make meaningful progress.

Tip # 2:  Break it down

Overwhelming goals can often hinder progress. Break down your larger goals into smaller, manageable tasks. This way, you can tackle them one step at a time, celebrating small victories along the way. Each accomplishment will boost your confidence and motivate you to keep moving forward.

Tip # 3:  Embrace a growth mindset

Cultivate a growth mindset that thrives on challenges and sees failures as opportunities for learning. Embrace the belief that you can develop and improve your skills through effort and perseverance. This mindset shift will empower you to take risks, explore new avenues, and embrace change with resilience.

Tip # 4:  Seek guidance and support

Don’t hesitate to seek support from others who can provide guidance and accountability. Consider working with a mentor, coach, or trusted friend who can offer fresh perspectives and valuable insights. They can help you identify blind spots, challenge self-limiting beliefs, and provide the encouragement you need during challenging times.

Tip # 5:  Embrace continuous learning

Invest in your personal and professional development by seeking out learning opportunities. Attend workshops, seminars, or online courses relevant to your field or interests. Engage in reading books, listening to podcasts, or joining communities that foster growth and knowledge sharing. Expanding your skill set and knowledge base will open doors to new possibilities and help you stay relevant in a rapidly evolving world.

Tip # 6: Take calculated risks

Fear of failure often holds us back from taking necessary risks. Understand that failure is a natural part of growth and view it as a stepping stone towards success. Embrace calculated risks by evaluating potential outcomes and weighing the pros and cons. Embracing new experiences and pushing your boundaries will expand your comfort zone and fuel personal and professional growth.

Tip # 7:  Practice self-care

Remember to take care of yourself amidst the hustle and bustle of life. Nurture your physical, mental, and emotional well-being. Incorporate activities such as exercise, meditation, hobbies, and spending time with loved ones into your routine. Prioritising self-care will help you maintain balance, reduce stress, and stay motivated on your journey.

Tip # 8:  Embrace adaptability

Change is inevitable, and being adaptable is key to overcoming challenges and getting unstuck. Embrace flexibility in your plans and be open to adjusting your course when necessary. Adapting to new circumstances and being willing to explore alternative paths can lead to unexpected opportunities and breakthroughs.

Conclusion:

Getting unstuck in your career requires intention, effort, and a commitment to personal growth. By defining your goals, embracing a growth mindset, seeking support, continuously learning, taking calculated risks, practicing self-care, and embracing adaptability, you can break free from the confines of stagnation and unlock your true potential. Remember, your journey is unique, and progress may not always be linear. Embrace the ups and downs, learn from every experience, and celebrate your growth along the way. Your future is waiting!

Working with a life coach can make the process of getting un-stuck in your career easier.  Book an appointment today at https://www.caromelnick.com/book-appointment/

If you have enjoyed reading this article on 8 Tips to Get Un-stuck in Your Career, subscribe to my mailing list to get your weekly dose of useful tips to improve your life.  Add your email address in the form on my home page:  https://www.caromelnick.com/

#PersonalTransformation #CareerGrowth #LifeCoaching #GoalSetting #ProfessionalDevelopment #Motivation #GrowthMindset #SelfImprovement #SelfCare #SuccessMindset #UnlockYourPotential #BreakFree #OvercomingChallenges #Adaptability #LifeBalance #LearnAndGrow #TakeAction #AchieveYourGoals #EmbraceChange #ProgressNotPerfection

#PersonalTransformation #CareerGrowth #LifeCoaching #GoalSetting #ProfessionalDevelopment #Motivation #GrowthMindset #SelfImprovement #SelfCare #SuccessMindset #UnlockYourPotential #BreakFree #OvercomingChallenges #Adaptability #LifeBalance #LearnAndGrow #TakeAction #AchieveYourGoals #EmbraceChange #ProgressNotPerfection

[tradestockmrkts]

Stock Trading Tips and Tricks for Beginners: Navigating the Market with Confidence

Stock Trading: A Comprehensive Guide to Help Beginners Navigate the Stock Market with Confidence. By Amir Shayan Stock trading can be an exciting and potentially lucrative venture, but it can also be overwhelming for beginners. With the right knowledge and strategies, you can navigate the market with confidence and increase your chances of success. In this article, we will share essential stock trading tips and tricks that every beginner should know. From understanding the basics of stock trading to developing a solid trading plan, we will cover key aspects that will help you on your trading journey. - Educate Yourself: The first and most important tip for beginners is to educate yourself about the stock market. Learn the terminology, study different investment strategies, and understand the factors that influence stock prices. There are numerous resources available, including books, online courses, and educational websites that can provide valuable insights into the world of stock trading. - Set Clear Goals: Before you start trading, it's crucial to set clear goals. What do you want to achieve through stock trading? Are you looking for short-term gains or long-term investments? Define your objectives and create a plan that aligns with your goals. This will help you stay focused and make informed decisions. - Start with a Demo Account: If you're new to stock trading, consider starting with a demo account. Many online brokers offer virtual trading platforms where you can practice trading without risking real money. This allows you to familiarize yourself with the trading platform, test different strategies, and gain experience before trading with real funds. - Develop a Trading Plan: A trading plan is a roadmap that outlines your approach to stock trading. It should include your trading goals, risk tolerance, entry and exit strategies, and money management rules. Having a well-defined plan will help you make disciplined and consistent trading decisions. - Diversify Your Portfolio: Diversification is a fundamental principle in stock trading. By spreading your investments across different stocks and sectors, you can reduce the risk associated with any single stock. This means that if one stock performs poorly, the impact on your overall portfolio will be minimized by the performance of other stocks. - Manage Risk: Risk management is crucial in stock trading. Set a stop-loss order to limit potential losses and always use proper position sizing. Never risk more than you can afford to lose, and be prepared for the possibility of losing money on some trades. Successful traders understand that losses are part of the game and focus on managing risk to protect their capital. - Stay Informed: Stay updated with the latest news and developments in the stock market. Keep track of earnings reports, economic indicators, and market trends that can impact stock prices. Subscribe to financial news platforms, follow reputable analysts and investors on social media, and join stock trading communities to gain valuable insights. - Emotions and Discipline: Emotions can cloud judgment and lead to poor trading decisions. Greed and fear are common emotions that can drive irrational behavior in the stock market. It's essential to remain disciplined and stick to your trading plan, even during volatile market conditions. Avoid impulsive decisions based on emotions and rely on thorough analysis and research. - Learn from Mistakes: Stock trading is a learning process, and mistakes are inevitable, especially for beginners. Instead of dwelling on losses, view them as learning opportunities. Analyze your trades, identify what went wrong, and make adjustments to your strategy. Continuous learning and improvement are key to long-term success in stock trading. - Seek Professional Advice: If you're unsure about certain aspects of stock trading, don't hesitate to seek professional advice. Financial advisors and experienced traders can provide valuable insights and guidance tailored to your specific needs and goals. However, always exercise caution and verify the credentials of any professional before taking their advice.

Conclusion:

Stock trading can be a rewarding endeavor when approached with the right knowledge and strategies. By following these stock trading tips and tricks for beginners, you can gain confidence and increase your chances of success in the market. Remember to educate yourself, set clear goals, develop a trading plan, manage risk, stay informed, and learn from your experiences. With time, practice, and a disciplined approach, you can navigate the stock market with confidence and achieve your financial goals. Read the full article

#beginnertips #investmenttips #marketanalysis #portfoliodiversification #Riskmanagement #stockmarketeducation #stockmarketstrategies #stocktrading #tradingadvice #tradingforbeginners

[craniuum]

my first shift of residency is tonight!!!!!!! i’m nervously excited and i put together a list of 30 goals i have for myself over the next 4 years..... i’m a mess of emotions rn and i have no idea what to expect but i know i’ve worked hard to get here!!! AHHHHH

1) be a steadfast advocate for not only my patients but also my team, my students, and myself

2) deliver my care in a patient-centered way with their dignity maintained  

3) always take social determinants of health into account when developing treatment plans

4) be a patient and kind teacher who demonstrates their love for this field to her students

5) always look out for my colleagues and always be willing to lend a helping hand

6) foster a safe and welcoming learning environment

7) be an active listener and treasure your patients’ stories - they are at their most vulnerable and they have come to you for help

8) always know my limitations and ask for help when I need it

9) say yes to the learning opportunities that come your way - and always ask questions

10) balance being thorough with being efficient

11) be kind and collegial with nurses - and always foster partnership between them and the rest of the care team

12) try to learn something new each day

13) keep your loved ones close - and embrace your new co-resident family too!

14) never lose sight of my “why” in medicine!! the days may be difficult but don’t forget your dreams and goals. and help others discover + maintain their “why” in medicine too!

15) stay as up-to-date (pun not intended) with the current literature as best as you can and incorporate it with your care

16) be what someone needs from you - a sounding board, a shoulder to cry on - and let others do that for yourself

17) maintain your hobbies and life outside of medicine - it’ll make your perspective more personable and valuable

18) always seek out feedback from your peers, superiors, and students - there is no improving without this

19) the system you’re working for is broken. don't let that break you

20) know the basics front-and-back and the zebras will fall into place more easily 

21) empower my colleagues and patients who come from less privilege than me

22) use your free time in a way that brings you joy

23) keep your complaining and venting separate from the rest of your routine and don’t let your frustrations make you jaded

24) it’s okay to make mistakes - you are in a learning stage of your career and it will inevitably happen. don't get caught up in it - learn from them and move on

25) look out for your medical students - send them home if there’s nothing to do. teach them something new every day. buy them snacks. validate their contributions to the team.

26) BE HONEST. if you forgot to ask a question, do a part of the physical exam, order a medication - own up to it and get the task done. lying endangers patient care.

27) validate and affirm your patients’ experiences - there is usually very little reason for them to be lying to you. and if they are lying - try to understand why, instead of shutting them down

28) try to make your colleagues’ lives easier - whether this is taking care of extra tasks on the night shift, or coming up with thorough contingency planning before hand off

29) always contribute snacks and banger workroom playlists

30) HAVE FUN!!!!!!!!! bring your jokes and make everyone feel welcome - you are pursuing your dream!!!!

UC 6-24-21

#upa.txt #residency life #screaming rn aaaaaaahhhhh

[alexstrick]

Getting Out of the Intermediate Language Plateau: Arabic Edition / Principles

[This is part of a series on getting out of a language-learning plateau at the intermediate-advanced level. Check out the other parts here.]

Seasoned language learners are familiar with the concept of the 'language plateau'. If you're learning a second language for the first time, you will inevitably reach a point in your studies where your progress seems to flatten. You will find this place and period extremely frustrating.

When you are in your plateau, it's hard to improve because you're already at a point of (some kind of) self-sufficiency. You can express yourself. You understand most of what is going on in a conversation or TV series you watch. You can write things and people will understand what you're saying. You could (and many do) stop your studies at this point and still be 'functional' in the language.

Getting out of this flat, dead zone is what I want to talk about today. It's hard, but it's by no means impossible, and making this kind of progress is possibly the most valuable work you'll do in your language studies, because all of it will be specifically tailored to your needs.

The starting point, though, is to identify your current status. What can you do? You don't (necessarily) need to take a formal language certification test to get a grade, though that can sometimes be useful. The kind of measurements you want to take are more subjective. You want to take stock of your capacity in certain situations, what level you are able to achieve in different contexts (your skills in reading will be different from writing vs listening or speaking, for example) and you want also to assess your experience on the cultural level as well -- i.e. how much experience do you have navigating all the unspoken parts of culture, whether that is body language, or behaviours and so on.

Principles of Skill Acquisition

Now a slight detour into some more general principles of skill acquisition. Some of this is derived from my own personal experience, other parts from interviews with experts in this field (such as my conversation with K. Anders Ericsson, who more or less invented the field of expert performance studies), and other parts still from reading a bunch of books on the subject.

Three things are relevant here:

1) Stretch

When you're learning a new skill, you want to step outside your comfort zone. This is usually difficult work, and work that is mentally (and possibly emotionally) taxing. Thus, if you want to get better at speaking in Arabic, you'll need to speak more, but at the beginning this practice (i.e. talking with other people) will feel pretty horrible, simply because you're not used to doing it. It's a paradox that you need to do the thing to get better at doing the thing. It is this difficulty, pushing yourself a little past what you're capable of doing, that allows for personal growth. (I wrote about this in an entirely different context a few weeks ago with respect to my attempts to get better at climbing.)

2) Lots of practice coupled with speedy feedback

These two parts (practice and feedback) go together. It isn't practice alone that will allow you to improve, but rather the combination of making efforts to use new skills alongside getting some kind of feedback that tells you when you're getting it wrong vs when you're not. An implication of this, too, is the reality that this kind of practice is going to involve you making lots of mistakes. This can feel crappy, especially when you're getting immediate feedback on exactly when this is happening. You need to adopt a flexible mindset, if possible, in which you see the mistakes as indicators of growth rather than as any kind of personal or intellectual failures on your part.

3) Know what you're practicing and focus on that

This is basically Ericsson's principle of "deliberate practice":

"Rather than chilling out in the comfort of skills you've already acquired, as an expert-to-be, you're relentless about heading to the frontier of your abilities. The practice shouldn't be so difficult that it overwhelms you—that would be depressingly demotivating, but not so easy that you're unconsciously languishing. In other words, you're arranging for flow, that space where you're right at the boundary of your abilities."

See also this summary of the routines that 'experts' tend to have around deliberate practice:

They can only engage in practice without rest for around an hour. They practice in the morning with a fresh mind. They practice the same amount every day, including on weekends. They only have four to five hours of deliberate practice a day. If they don't get enough rest, they can get overtraining injuries or burnout.

If you're hoping that 'using the language' in a general and non-specific way will get you out of your plateau, you'll be disappointed. It's perfectly possible to exist in the plateau zone without improvement ad infinitum. If you want to improve at a certain skill, you'll need to isolate that element and focus on it in a targeted way. This can be vocabulary, or speaking about a certain topic, or even something as small as 'using conditional sentences'. Whatever it is, you'll only get better if you concentrate your efforts.

Customisation & Your Individual Needs

Learning languages at the post-intermediate level will be a different experience from what you are used to in the early stages. Early on, you're doing a great deal of necessary-but-boring work to learn basic patterns, vocabulary and grammar.

Once you have mastered that, and you can explain yourself in most basic contexts, you reach the point where you have to customise. There's a great deal of science and research behind this claim. Check out this talk, by the always stimulating Alexander Arguelles, for an overview of some of that research.

You'll need to pick which areas you're most interested in. This is the hard work of advanced language studies -- you pick one area or context, conquer it, and then pick another area and repeat. This fulfils the princicle of focus that I mentioned above.

To give an example from my own studies. My current big push for Arabic is to be able to read serious fiction (i.e. short stories and novels written for native speakers). I've written previously that this was a personal goal, but various realities of how modern literature is written really make it hard to take the leap into complex native-reader-level fiction (especially novels). Arab writers like to use many synonyms (for poetic effect, or perhaps as an attempt at pretension?) for words, so when reading I often find myself stuck referring to dictionaries the whole time. Fortunately, a new textbook offering graded literature at just that 'stretch' level was released recently, which is allowing me an entry point into that world. None of the texts are simplified, and the language is hard and the number of unknown words is pretty large, but it's not too far down the scale of difficulty.

On Making a Self-Study Plan

My next post will cover and offer a host of suggestions for resources you can use to get out of this plateau / dead zone. Before you start reading through and diving into things that seem interesting, I'd strongly advise you take the time to figure out your specific goals. "Improve my Arabic" is not a useful goal. It's too unspecific. Even "improve my spoken Arabic" may not be particularly useful at the intermediate-advanced level. Once you figure out your goal, write it down somewhere. Maybe stick it to your wall or on the inside of your notebook. It's good to be reminded why we're doing the work.

Once you have your goal, then you want to set yourself small targeted bursts or challenges to push out into your stretch zone. You don't want these challenges to feel like you're straining against the limits of what you are capable. You want it to be just challenging enough that you feel uncomfortable, but not so much that you are constantly questioning yourself and your abilities in any kind of fundamental sense.

The scale of these challenges will be pretty variable, so examples will span a range of tasks from taking a week to learn and read deeply in a niche topic, to something more longer-term (over six months, perhaps) like my modern literature challenge. The characteristic that you need to look for, however, is that you'll be able to tell when you're finished with the challenge. Part of defining the goal is finding a specific (and somewhat measurable) definition of what it means to have achieved what you want.

Then the rest of the trick is basically keeping moving, tracking your progress and achievements along the way. There are various ways of doing this, some of which will depend on what else you have done in this regard. You can add in things like Beeminder to encourage compliance and regularity, or you can do that in other ways.

When I work with people 1-on-1 to learn a language, a lot of what we do is figuring out this kind of ongoing goal setting and progress assessment. (If you want to learn more about this, click here and read through what I offer).

The next posts will offer a roadmap to the different resources available to the intermediate student of Arabic and some of the ways you can utilise these resources. It won't be exhaustive, but I'm pretty sure that most will find something of use in them. Feel free to get in touch if you have specific things you want me to tackle in terms of skill development in Arabic.

#languages #arabic #learning #study #skills #arabicintermediateplateau

[queenangst]

kind of a strange question but how do you post fics? Like not the actually *post* a fic but get the confidence to post something? I’ve been trying to feel more confident with my fics when I’m posting them but sometimes it’s kinda hard

oh, nonnie. sweet nonnie.

i hear this question quite a bit. and it makes me really sad because you should be proud of your work. you made something, and there are people who want to see it. 

first i’ll provide some links to other asks where i’ve talked about the same topics, and then i’ll answer your question and try to add a little bit more. 

when you write something, how do you know it’s good enough to post?

and i got asked this question on the Discord last night, too, and this is what i said.

q:  hey, ely, was there ever a time when you didn't publish/share your works because you were constantly finding things to nit-pick or improve?

my response (edited): common thing for writers but nope. the thing is like u gotta stop at some point.  and the other thing is whats the point if you want to post it and you don't? 

for me i started young enough where it didn't matter to me about mistakes because i liked what i was writing and i enjoyed the process and i wanted to share that with other people. [you might feel unsatisfied with your work.] that's always going to be true to an extent, but you have to learn to let it go and be happy with what you’ve made. creators never see their work the same as other people do. there is such a huge gap in perception; the flaws that you see, other people likely wouldn't. 

and here’s some other things i’ve written that maybe you need to hear: 

everyone is skilled @ different things and skills are learnable; we are all capable, perhaps to the extent of our own limits, but that does not mean u are "bad" - just that another person may have more experience/practice

you cannot categorize your work or skill as "bad" just because of inexperience or on a purely technical levels. there's other ways to judge your creative process. it might not be the best but your work has inherent worth - like people have inherent worth - simply for existing; it can be good because it's an expression of yourself, or because you enjoyed making it, or because it's your voice or your idea or your concept. that makes it "good"

everyone—creators—who is good? everyone who is good now was once bad. you cannot be good without being bad first. everyone starts at the same place. it's easy to forget but people who "master" a craft were once at the same level as you; you're just in different stages of development. they have more xp. no one is immediately good. like i said before skill is learnable. someone who has five more years of experience than you, or who has dedicated more time than you, is going to be better, but that doesn't mean that you can't put in the same work for the same results.

and finally, some more parting advice, because i don’t want you to feel like i’m copying and pasting things. i hear you. i see you. i know it can be scary, i know you might feel like you lack confidence. believe it or not, there are points where i doubt myself. 

but i can’t stop myself from posting, because my desire to share my work outweighs any doubts. think of why you wrote something. think about why you like it. 

don’t be the person to stop yourself. 

why are you scared? why are you not confident? do you doubt your skills? do you compare yourself to other writers? do you think, this has been done before, or no one will like it because i’ve written it, or i don’t want to be hurt. 

here are the answers: it probably has been done before. such is fiction, such is writing, the recycling of ideas and it’s beautiful. it’s fanfiction. we are telling the same stories in little different ways a million times over, and we always want to read those stories, every one of them. someone will like it because you’ve written it. because you have written it. and you’re going to be hurt, sometimes. i have been. i hope you’re not, or you don’t, but it happens. and you can’t let that stop you, you can’t let the idea of someone telling you no stop you. 

your motivation should be mostly internal, not external. but of course, as writers, we love sharing our work. we want to. it must be read by people other than us. it has to be. to be in fandom is to share a space. to share is to love.

and that’s terrifying. it’s vulnerable. and i understand. what if people don’t like this thing that you’ve created, this little part of you? someone inevitably won’t. that’s a fact. you can’t change that, you can’t control that, so let it go.  

but someone will, and that’s important.

did you know there are people who will love your work? did you know there are people who will fall so deeply in love with the way you shape your words, the way your characters act, the way you craft your story? did you know that when you post a story, you are forging a connection? did you know that the things you write in your work could change someone’s life?

even if you don’t know it yet. even if you don’t see it. 

when you write, when you post. someone reads it. they are reading something you made, they are feeling it, they are connecting with it. they are seeing you.  

your work has worth. but it doesn’t only have worth. it has power. your writing has power: because it is your story, because you love it, because you are telling it. that’s valuable. 

and one more thing: it gets easier. don’t think so much about it. if you made it, post it. if you don’t like something, try again. post again. write again. keep going. keep writing. keep posting. 

put your work out there. 

#writing advice #long post #do it!!!! #asks #ask time #anonymous

[couplesinstitutecounseling]

Couples are often uncertain what to expect from the process of couples therapy. They are not sure of what to expect of the therapist or even if the therapist has any expectations of them.

I have found most couples approach therapy with the notion that each person will describe their distress and somehow the therapist will assist them to create a happier, more functional, relationship. They expect to learn some new or better skills. However, most people hope their partner will do most of the learning in problem areas.

After 30 years of clinical experience and specializing in working with thousands of couples, I have arrived at some guidelines that can make our work more effective. First, I do have some expectations of you. I am not neutral. I have evolved principles and concepts that I believe give us the greatest chance for success.

I believe my primary role is to help you improve your responses to each other without violating your core values or deeply held principles. So that you may know some of my key guiding principles, I have created this document to provide clarity and focus to our work.

Your job is to create your own individual objectives for being in therapy. Like a good coach, my job is to help you reach them. I have many, many tools to help you become a more effective partner — they work best when you are clear about how you aspire to be.

Goals and Objectives of Couples Therapy

The major aim of therapy is increasing your knowledge about yourself, your partner and the patterns of interaction between you. Therapy becomes effective as you apply new knowledge to break ineffective patterns and develop better ones.

The key tasks of couples therapy are increasing your clarity about:

The kind of life you want to build together

The kind of partner you aspire to be in order to build the kind of life and relationship you want to create

Your individual blocks to becoming the kind of partner you aspire to be

The skills and knowledge necessary to do the above tasks

Tradeoffs and Tough Choices

To create sustained improvement in your relationship you need:

A vision of the life you want to build together

To have a life separate from your partner because you are not joined at the hip

The appropriate attitudes and skills to work as a team

The motivation to persist

Time to review progress

To create the relationship you really desire, there will be some difficult tradeoffs and tough choices for each person.

The first tradeoff will be time. It simply takes time to create a relationship that flourishes: time to be together, time to be with family, time to play, coordinate, nurture, relax, hang out and plan. This time will encroach on some other valuable areas — your personal or professional time.

The second compromise is comfort. That means emotional comfort, like going out on a limb to try novel ways of thinking or doing things, listening and being curious instead of butting in, speaking up instead of becoming resentfully compliant or withdrawing. At the beginning, there will be emotional risk taking action, but you will never explore different worlds if you always keep sight of the shoreline. In addition, few people are emotionally comfortable being confronted with how they don’t live their values or being confronted with the consequences of their actions.

The other comfort that will be challenged is energy comfort. It simply takes effort to sustain improvement over time: staying conscious of making a difference over time, remembering to be more respectful, more giving, more appreciative etc. It takes effort to remember and act.

The other effort is even more difficult for some people: that is improving their reaction to problems. For example, if one person is hypersensitive to criticism, and his/her partner is hypersensitive to feeling ignored, it will take effort to improve their sensitivity instead of hoping the partner will stop ignoring or criticizing.

In all these areas, there is generally a conflict between short-term gratification and the long-term goal of creating a satisfying relationship. The blunt reality is that, in an interdependent relationship, effort is required on the part of each person to make a sustained improvement. It is like pairs figure skating — one person cannot do most of the work and still create an exceptional team.

How to Maximize the Value from your Couples Therapy Sessions

A common yet unproductive pattern in couple’s therapy is making the focus be whatever problem happens to be on someone’s mind at the moment. This is a reactive (and mostly ineffective) approach to working things through.

The second unproductive pattern is showing up and saying, “I don’t know what to talk about, do you?” While this blank slate approach may open some interesting doors, it is a hit or miss process.

The third common unproductive pattern is discussing whatever fight you are now in or whatever fight you had since the last meeting. Discussing these fights/arguments without a larger context of what you wish to learn from the experience is often an exercise in spinning your wheels.

Over time, repeating these patterns will lead to the plaintive question, “Are we getting anywhere?”

A more powerful approach to your couple’s therapy sessions is for each person to do the following before each session:

Reflect on your objectives for being in therapy.

Think about your next step that supports or relates to your larger objectives for the kind of relationship you wish to create, or the partner you aspire to become.

This reflection takes some effort. Yet few people would call an important meeting and then say, “Well, I don’t have anything to bring up, does anyone else have anything on their agenda?” Your preparation will pay high dividends.

Important Concepts for Couples Therapy and Relationships

The following ideas can help identify areas of focus in our work and/or stimulate discussion between you and your partner between meetings. If you periodically review this list, you will discover that your reflections and associations will change over time. So please revisit this list often, it will help you keep focus during our work.

Attitude is Key

When it comes to improving your relationship, your attitude toward change is more important than what action to take.

Identifying what to do and how to do it is often easy to identify. The bigger challenge is why you don’t do it.

How to think differently about a problem is often more effective than just trying to figure out what action to take.

Your partner is quite limited in his/her ability to respond to you. You are quite limited in your ability to respond to your partner. Accepting that is a huge step into maturity.

The definite possibility exists that you have some flawed assumptions about your partner’s motives. And that he/she has some flawed assumptions about yours. The problem is, most of the time we don’t want to believe those assumptions are flawed.

Focus on Changing Yourself Rather than Your Partner

Couples therapy works best if you have more goals for yourself than for your partner. I am at my best when I help you reach objectives you set for yourself.

Problems occur when reality departs sharply from our expectations, hopes, desires and concerns. It’s human nature to try and change one’s partner instead of adjusting our expectations. This aspect of human nature is what keeps therapists in business.

The hardest part of couples therapy is accepting you will need to improve your response to a problem (how you think about it, feel about it, or what to do about it). Very few people want to focus on improving their response. It’s more common to build a strong case for why the other should do the improving.

You can’t change your partner. Your partner can’t change you. You can influence each other, but that doesn’t mean you can change each other. Becoming a more effective partner is the most efficient way to change a relationship.

It’s easy to be considerate and loving to your partner when the vistas are magnificent, the sun is shining and breezes are gentle. But when it gets bone chilling cold, you’re hungry and tired, and your partner is whining and sniveling about how you got them into this mess, that’s when you get tested. Your leadership and your character get tested. You can join the finger pointing or become how you aspire to become.

Nothing is impossible for the person who doesn’t have to do it.

Fear lets you know you’re not prepared. If you view fear in that mode, it becomes a signal to prepare the best you can.

You can learn a lot about yourself by understanding what annoys you and how you handle it.

The more you believe your partner should be different, the less initiative you will take to change the patterns between you.

Zen Aspects of Couples Therapy (Some Contradictions)

All major goals have built in contradictions, for example, speak up or keep the peace.

All significant growth comes from disagreements, dissatisfaction with the current status, or a striving to make things better. Paradoxically, accepting that conflict produces growth and learning to manage inevitable disagreements is the key to more harmonious relationships.

It’s not what you say. It’s what they hear.

Solutions, no matter how perfect, set the stage for new problems.

Tough Questions

Asking good questions–of yourself and your partner–helps you uncover causes beneath causes.

In a strong disagreement, do you really believe your partner is entitled to their opinion?

Under duress, do you have the courage and tenacity to seek your partner’s reality and the courage to express your reality when the stakes are high?

Why is it important to let your partner know what you think, feel and are concerned about? (Because they really can’t appreciate what they don’t understand.)

What is the price your partner will have to pay to improve their response to you? How much do you care about the price they will have to pay? (Everything has a price and we always pay it.)

Can you legitimately expect your partner to treat you better than you treat him/her?

If you want your partner to change, do you think about what you can do to make it easier?

When a problem shows up, it’s natural to think “What should I do about it?” A much more productive question is. “How do I aspire to be in this situation?”

The Importance of Communication

The three most important qualities for effective communication are respect, openness and persistence.

Good communication is much more difficult than most people want to believe. Effective negotiation is even harder.

A couple’s vision emerges from a process of reflection and inquiry. It requires both people to speak from the heart about what really matters to each.

We are all responsible for how we express ourselves, no matter how others treat us.

Communication is the number one presenting problem in couples counseling. Effective communication means you need to pay attention to:

Managing unruly emotions, such as anger that is too intense

How you are communicating — whining, blaming, vague, etc.

What you want from your partner during the discussion

What the problem symbolizes to you

The outcome you want from the discussion

Your partner’s major concerns

How you can help your partner become more responsive to you

The beliefs and attitudes you have about the problem.

No wonder good communication is so hard.

Some Final Thoughts.

You can’t create a flourishing relationship by only fixing what’s wrong. But it’s a start.

Grace under pressure does not spring full-grown even with the best of intentions — practice, practice and more practice. Practice the right things and you will get there.

Love is destroyed when self-interest dominates.

If you don’t know what you feel in important areas of your relationship, it is like playing high stakes poker when you see only half your cards. You will make a lot of dumb plays.

The possibility exists that we choose partners we need but don’t necessarily want.

To get to the bottom of a problem often means you first accept how complex it is.

Trust is the foundational building block of a flourishing relationship. You create trust by doing what you say you will do.

It’s impossible to be in a highly inter-dependent relationship without ever being judgmental or being judged.

If you strive to always feel emotionally safe in your relationship and get it, you will pay the price by becoming dull.

If neither of you ever rocks boat, you will end up with a dull relationship

Knowledge is not power. Only knowledge that is applied is power.

Most of the ineffective things we do in relationships fall into just a few categories:

Blame or attempt to dominate

Disengage/withdraw

Resentful compliance

Whine

Denial or confusion.

These are the normal emotional reactions to feeling a threat or high stress. Improving your relationship means better management of these reactions.

Everything you do works for some part of you, even if other parts of you don’t like it.

Three motivations will govern any sustained effort you make. You will seek to: 1. Avoid pain or discomfort 2. Create more benefits 3. Be a better person. It’s also true for your partner.

If you are asking your partner to change something, sometimes it’s a good idea to ask if the change is consistent with how they aspire to be in that situation.

Businesses and marriages fail for the same three reasons. A failure to:

Learn from the past

Adapt to changing conditions

Predict probable future problems and take action.

Effective change requires insight plus action. Insight without action is passivity. Action without insight is impulsive. Insight plus action leads to clarity and power.

If you want to create a win-win solution, you cannot hold a position that has caused your partner to lose in the past.

“To be a champ you have to believe in yourself when nobody else will.” Sugar Ray Robinson -Middleweight boxing champion, considered by many to be the best fighter in history, pound-for-pound.

Note: please review this document periodically as there is simply too much to absorb in one reading of it. We all will benefit from your efforts.

The following three questions help clarify and sharpen our focus.

1. What kind of relationship do you want to be in and create if you stay together? What kind of relationship makes you glad to see other at the end of the day?

Interestingly, most couples who created their own wedding vows describe a marriage that could serve as the North Star for the kind of relationship they want to co-create.

If you wrote your own vows, how well do you remember them?

Identifying the kind of relationship you desire to be in is the target, the bigger picture of why we are meeting. Otherwise, we’re just going to jump in and try to solve problems without any idea how these problems fit into a bigger picture of where you’re headed.

You don’t start packing for a trip unless you have an idea where you’re going or how long you going to be there.

2. Why is this kind of relationship important to you?

It takes motivation to do the heavy lifting that’s going to grow your relationship.

It’s often said, and I believe it, “When we lose our why, we lose our way.”

It’s a lot more than just coming in here and complaining about what your partner does and then hope for a miracle. It’s human nature to want progress without effort or emotional risk. However, desire without effort creates lifeless marriages.

3. What’s required of you, not your partner, to create this kind of marriage?

The sooner you start identifying what’s required of you, not what’s required of your partner, you are on the way to the fast track of creating change.

I also know everybody has self-protection and coping mechanisms that inhibit individual growth.

Your barriers can be those that you’ve created since you got together or resulted from negative early life experiences.

Common barriers to growth are a quick temper, being critical, disengaging, not being dependable, being furious instead of curious, etc.

Just reading all this information and reflecting on how you aspire to be a better partner is a good beginning!

If you find you need help, reach out to us for a free consultation. We can help!

#couples therapy

[just-4-thought]

30 Things I Learned in My 20s

Today is the last day of my 20s. It seems like a good time to reflect on that decade and what it means to get older. A lot of people are afraid of aging, and we don't always want to look it in the face or embrace it. I, myself, have been afraid of turning 30 since I was little, but as I am learning what maturity and growth really mean, I feel good about this coming decade and the ones to follow (fingers crossed).

Here are 30 random things I've learned in my 20s. It may mean absolutely nothing to you -- your experiences may be different and that is ok.

1. Friends come and go from your life. Their absence doesn't take away from the value of the friendship. It had it's place in your life and if it doesn't anymore, that's ok.

2. Heartbreak doesn't have to come from romantic partners. My heart has found many ways to break in my 20s, but it has found many ways to grow stronger too.

3. Pain is inevitable, but we don't have to pass that pain on to others. There is something real and valuable in "altruism."

4. What we do for the least of these, for those who cannot offer us anything, is one of the best reflections of who we are.

5. If you do not like who you are, do what you can to grow.

6. Every day is a new opportunity to show yourself how strong and powerful you are.

7. When you are going through adversity, try to see it as an opportunity to demonstrate your strength.

8. Happiness (or perhaps more importantly contentment), is not about the "if's" and "when's" like "when I get this promotion," "when I find the love of my life," and "if *the thing* didn't happen."

9. Happiness (contentment, peace) is about this moment. This. One. Right. Here.

10. You can be just as content single as you can be in a relationship.

11. Being single ~truly single~ is an important part of development. Not everyone gets the opportunity to go through this phase of life and that's ok too (as long as you are with someone that doesn't limit your personal growth).

12. A lot of people do distance themselves from someone who is going through a difficult time, but there are people who will step in if you are able to find them.

13. If you focus too much on those who have walked away, you will miss those who have stood by your side.

14. If you can, try to be the one who stands by someone's side during their difficult time.

15. We as humans are capable of dehumanizing people who are different from us. Try to catch areas where you may do that before it becomes an issue and always strive to treat people with the dignity they deserve.

16. You will fail (perhaps every day in some way). Get up. Keep moving forward.

17. Growth is a slow and steady process. A lifelong commitment.

18. Always try to love before you judge.

19. Success is not a dollar amount or a title. Success is how we make the world a better place for our presence.

20. You will get older. Your body will change. It is not only ok but it is a sign of your strength and resilience.

21. Many people say, "I never thought this could happen to me" when faced with illness and trials.

22. Worrying only serves a purpose when you are able to plan for a potentially negative outcome. If there is nothing you can do, try to release the stress if possible.

23. Some people choose to play video games on a harder difficulty. Just because your life has more challenges than someone else's doesn't mean you have less value, are less strong, or are doing it wrong. Harder doesn't necessarily mean worse.

24. Release all bitterness as quickly as you can. It doesn't hurt the one's who may have wronged you or had an unfair advantage. It does hurt you and sometimes can be self-fulfilling.

25. The "right thing" is not always the right thing. Figuring out the right thing is sometimes harder than actually doing it. Most villains believe they are right.

26. People can behave poorly when they feel out of control. Whether it is their personal space, their food, their technology, their finances, their love life, or even simple things. Try to catch it in yourself.

27. People who are rude are usually unhappy or afraid of something in their own life.

28. There are always multiple sides to the story and perceptions can change the meaning of the story.

29. Growing up is about how we gain understanding about the world, cultures, differences, and all the complexities that go into sharing this world with others.

30. Growing up is not about giving up on your dreams, passions, and hobbies.

#life lessons #long post #birthday post #musings #thoughts #spilled thoughts #my thoughts #random #not poetry #well maybe a little bit poetry #chronic illness #growth #me #about me

[davids69811]

Greensboro Movers 28204 - City Transfer - Greensboro

Comprehending Far Away Movers

Any kind of move that occurs to a location that is 100 miles far from the resource is called a long distance action. Numerous prolonged range movers provide relocating service to further locations. In some cases, moving to a community in the very same state may be considered as a long distance action as a result of the distance. Interstate moves are inevitably far away moves. Though both are long distance relocations, there are some considerable distinctions. Interstate moves call for the cross country moving companies to be familiar with state legislations regarding entrance of trucks in numerous communities. Some regional movers offer long distance moves within the same state. You have to select the moving company depending on where you want to transfer Greensboro.  Greensboro Movers 28204

A good understanding of these moving companies is vital to compare quotes of numerous movers. The quotations given by moving firms are absolutely nothing greater than price quotes. You can not anticipate that you will certainly constantly pay the same quantity specified in the quote at the end of the relocation. It is as a result of this factor that you should understand your moving companies and also beware of numerous charges and also charges. As always, window shopping is the most effective method to select the most effective movers. Get as several quotes as feasible from numerous moving companies and compare them based on services and expense of action. You can make use of the internet to get quotations supplied to your inbox without needing to relocate from your house Relocating Business Greensboro.

After short listing cross country movers, you should call the movers in your list. In situation of moving, you would require physical service and therefore, you need to have the ability to get in touch with the moving companies in any way times. Effective customer assistance is required to make your action as comfortable as feasible. The majority of the moving companies require you to arrange your relocation earlier. It is far better to call your mover and also define your moving day a minimum of a month prior to moving. Any kind of moving company will require a minimum of a couple of days to arrange your move though numerous moving companies give eleventh hour moving service at an added cost Greensboro.

Some movers offer you price cuts when you agree to plan your action according to the schedule of the moving companies. In a lot of the instances, you have to ask for unique discount rates and deals. If you require storage solutions at either source or destination, you should ask the movers concerning the accessibility of warehouses. Assess the worth of things you are relocating as well as examine the insurance provided by far away moving companies. Although movers consent to offer insurance coverage, you have to bring important things such as important records, fashion jewelry and also others together with you Moving Firm Greensboro.

Why Employ a Workplace Moving Company in the Commercial Moving Network?

Numerous moving companies claim to give workplace moving services, yet many treat office relocations like a regular family action when it comes to the type of devices and procedures they utilize. The outcome is a messy and also unsecure move that ends up setting you back method more money and time than expected.

Businesses that desire their step managed skillfully count on workplace moving companies in the Industrial Moving Network for every one of their moving demands. The network is a membership company consisted of trustworthy workplace movers that have actually been acknowledged as the very best of the best in their geographical area. To better comprehend the advantages of working with office movers in the Business Relocation Network, you require to familiarize yourself with the solutions that establish them apart from your typical mover Greensboro.

Relocating Solutions Workplace moving companies in the Industrial Relocation Network are professionals at relocating workplaces of all kinds and sizes. They have experience with the numerous ins and outs of transferring an office and doing so with the least amount of downtime. Members of the network give complete office relocating services that are extensively taken into consideration the best in business. From moving healthcare facilities to manufacturing plants to information centers, Business Moving Network workplace moving companies make use of ingenious methods as well as state-of-the-art devices to ensure relocations are exactly handled Relocating Firm Greensboro.

Information Centers Organizations with information facilities have an unique collection of concerns when moving from one area to one more. They have clients that depend on them for uptime, so they require an office moving company that can supply sensitive equipment within a limited routine. Commercial Moving Network workplace movers use information facility moving solutions that include disconnect/reconnect, cabling, as well as precision packing that guarantees this modern and also extremely costly tools is never harmed during the moving.

Disposal Solutions Members of the Business Moving Network are committed to environment-friendly moving. They assist business decrease waste and deal with unneeded products safely and also financially-- as well as in an environmentally friendly way. Whether moving a little workplace or a big corporation, office moving companies in the network do so with both the company's as well as the setting's best interests in mind. That is why they provide extra disposal and also reusing solutions for all undesirable furniture, electronics, as well as waste. In addition, Industrial Moving Network members additionally supply secure document shredding and disposal services for obsolete data Greensboro.

Moving Healthcare Facilities In addition to the moving worries of other industries, healthcare facilities deal with extra obstacles and responsibilities concerning personal privacy issues. They must satisfy the requirements of HIPAA and other personal privacy plans, which is why Business Moving Network office movers give protected chain-of-custody procedures, organized moving, as well as innovation configuration. This makes it possible for medical offices to move their data firmly as well as prepare to see individuals as quickly as they're worked out in the brand-new building Relocating Company Greensboro.

Loading Solutions Many companies do not have the moment or knowledge to pack up their own offices. This is due to the fact that packing a workplace requires precision, careful preparation, and the appropriate products to stop damages and loss. From moving tiny electronic devices to large pieces of art to an enormous volume of files, Commercial Moving Network office moving companies take much better care of their clients' property than any kind of other movers.

Room Decommission Most organizations have lease terms that need them to deactivate the building back over to the property manager. Office moving companies in the Commercial Relocation Network can deal with the whole coordination process to make sure that services can focus on their relocation and stress much less about their old area. Several of these decommission solutions consist of conference with building monitoring, disposing of trash on the residential or commercial property, cleaning the facility, as well as performing last walk-throughs with property monitoring authorities Greensboro.

Selecting an Office Mover When it's time to move your office, consider the track record and the broad range of services provided by the workplace relocating company. The Commercial Moving Network authorizes just the very best of the most effective, and it constantly audits its participants to guarantee they stay at the top of their video game time after time. Whether you're relocating a little workplace or need a seasoned professional for a large, complicated moving, look no further than office movers in the Industrial Moving Network.

Cross Country Movers as well as Packers

As you start talking to relocating business, there are a number of indicate cover prior to you maintain the solutions of any type of one moving company Relocating Company Greensboro.

As an example, speak about insurance policy with each of the moving business you interview. Each companies needs to lug freight insurance, so there is some coverage, however see if your homeowners insurance coverage will certainly cover movers as well as packers managing your valuables. If you're employing far away movers, they need to have appropriate insurance coverage for going across state lines. They must additionally be bound to cover mishaps during the handling of your things throughout the relocating as well as storage solution.

If a moving company does not regard it necessary to visit your house before issuing relocating quotes, pick an additional moving company. Absolutely nothing can be as exact as an in house relocating quote. The movers as well as packers need to see precisely what sort of furniture and also devices you have Greensboro.

When you're reviewing your moving as well as storage space needs with the firm, it is necessary to include extremely certain details. For instance, if the movers arrive and also understand you have a water bed that must be drained pipes prior to relocating as well as storage, it will certainly toss their schedule off as well as develop an issue for you and also the business. You'll experience the very same issue if the movers and packers get to your residence and also figure out that they require a piano moving company. Look at your valuables, as well, because house movers are learnt the very best techniques to preserve breakables and also collectibles so that the movers as well as packers won't damage them Relocating Business Greensboro.

Don't allow any kind of movers and also packers touch your things up until you have actually an authorized contract in your hand. If you don't have an agreement in composing, the business is exempt for it. You ought to have composed relocating quotes from the moving companies, detailing every service they will certainly provide, from relocating as well as loading to moving and storage. You don't desire any nasty surprises when it's time to pay your moving company, and discover that the moving company charged additional for that classic sofa Greensboro.

Just remember, no trusted moving company will offer you relocating quotes without an onsite survey. Neighborhood movers will certainly need to see each product of furnishings so they can estimate the weight as well as mass for the home movers to raise and also bring. Far away moving companies will require to do the same, as well as add the fact that moving as well as storage space may cross state lines Moving Firm Greensboro.

Contact US :

https://g.page/city-transfer-storage-company-nc?share

City Transfer - Greensboro

1100 Redding Dr, High Point, NC 27260, United States

Call Us: [phone]

[talabib]

Investing Like A Rich Person And Become Rich Yourself.

Which sounds better: being financially comfortable or being rich? Deep down, most people want to be filthy rich – but they also tend to feel that the future is already decided for them, and that they’ll never actually be rich.

But how rich you are or aren’t is up to you: if you make the decision to be rich, and adopt the mind-set of the rich, there’s no reason at all why you can’t achieve that goal.

First, however, there are a few things you’ll need to learn, as there are no “get-rich-quick” schemes that actually work. In practice, becoming rich means investing in financial education and literacy until analyzing financial statements becomes second nature. It also means learning how to create and grow a business, and then using the experience and money you’ve accumulated to make more and better investments.

The first step, though, is to get in the right frame of mind, and go from saying, “I’ll never be rich,” to “I’m going to be rich, and this is how!”

The richest 10 percent have 90 percent of the money because they invest in a way that the poor and middle classes do not.

Maybe you've heard of the 80-20 rule, which states that 80 percent of our success comes from 20 percent of our efforts? Well, that might be true for overall success – but for money, the rule is 90-10, because when it comes down to it, 10 percent of people have 90 percent of the money.

The rule applies in many walks of life. Think about Hollywood stars, and then think how many actors are waiting tables between gigs. Yep, 10 percent of actors earn 90 percent of the money. The same goes for athletes, musicians and, of course, investors. A Wall Street Journal article confirmed this, noting that 10 percent of the population own 90 percent of all the shares in the United States.

Why is it that rich people can accumulate so much wealth? Well, one reason is that some investments are simply off-limits if you’re poor.

Back when I was a young man with little cash, i asked my rich friends if I could get involved in their business deals. But, despite the friendship, the answer was always no – not because they didn't want to help out, but because it would have been illegal.

In the United States, the US Securities and Exchange Commission restricts certain investments to accredited investors – that is, people with a net worth of $1 million, or a consistent annual income of $200,000. Anyone who is worth, or makes, less than that simply isn't allowed to get involved.

Now, there are good reasons for preventing people without much money in the bank from making potentially risky investments. But these rules also prevent poorer people from making the best investments – the investments of the rich.

So how can you break into that top 10 percent? next, we'll find out what it takes to think like a rich person.

The first step toward being rich is to adopt the mind-set of the rich.

“Get an education, work hard, save money. Then you’ll be fine.” Sound familiar? This sentence sums up the standard middle-class approach to financial security and, more likely than not, you were probably told something similar by your parents.

But here’s the thing: this advice will never make you rich. Rather, it will keep you in the 90 percent that only has 10 percent of the money.

So how do the rich approach financial gain? They certainly don’t toil away at one job until retirement; instead, they purchase businesses and make investments.

Why is that? Well, for starters, because employees inevitably have less money to invest; that’s just the way the US tax system is set up.

For example, let’s say you want to save $1,000 from your salary. Well, first you have to pay tax, so in order to save that $1,000, you’ll have to earn, say, $1,300. Inflation will reduce your savings’ value every year, and you’ll pay tax on the interest you earn. Doesn’t sound like a recipe for wealth, does it?

Business owners, on the other hand, have more money to invest because it comes out of their pre-tax earnings. Unlike the employee who has to save out of taxed income, a business owner first buys assets and then pays taxes.

As such, an employee has less money to invest in assets that can generate wealth. It doesn’t sound fair, but it’s the way the system works – it’s hard for an employee to become rich because she gives so much money to the government first.

And there’s another reason why business ownership and investment are better paths to riches: investors often face less risk than employees.

Lots of people rely on employment, savings and pensions for their financial security. But the old notion of a stable job for life just doesn’t apply in today’s job market. Employees get fired all the time. What happens to a company’s share price when it lets lots of employees go? Very often, it goes up! So being on the investor’s side of the table is usually less risky than being on the employee’s.

Financial literacy can unlock riches.

Can you explain the difference between assets and liabilities? Or calculate a company’s price-to-equity and debt-to-equity ratios?

Many people shy away from investing because the terminology sounds like a foreign language. If you want to get into that 10 percent, however, it’s time to invest in your financial education.

First off, it’s important to understand the difference between assets and liabilities. Rich people never confuse the two, but others mix them up all the time. And that’s one of the reasons rich people tend to make better financial decisions.

Let’s take a common example. You’ve probably heard a homeowner say something like, “My home is a great asset.” Sounds sensible enough, right? But, usually, it’s downright wrong. Something is only an asset when it generates positive cash flow – that is, when it brings in money.

Say your house is worth $200,000, with a $150,000 mortgage. Where does the cash flow? Not in, but out, through your mortgage, fees, insurance and so on. Sure, maybe one day you’ll sell it for a tidy profit – but you have no guarantees, so it’s actually a liability.

Understanding assets and liabilities is a great first step. But to successfully make the investments of the rich – to develop real estate or buy into a business – you need to have a deep understanding of financial terminology.

Let’s say you want to buy shares in a growing tech business, and you want to understand whether it’s a good deal. How can you figure it out? Well, the share price tells you little, so to really understand value, you’ll need to calculate and analyze measures like debt-to-equity ratio, return on equity, cash-on-cash return and financial leverage.

All in all, if you don’t even know that your mortgaged house is a liability, not an asset, it’s no surprise that you might think the investments of the rich are too risky. Anything seems risky if you can’t understand it.So spend time developing your financial education – it may be the best investment you ever make.

There are different kinds of investors, requiring different skill sets and attitudes.

When we think of investors, we often imagine besuited Wall Street bankers, or bustling men shouting on a trading floor. But the word “investor” can be applied to a range of people, from bond traders to business founders.

The taxonomy of investors begins with accredited and qualified investors. These two are outsiders.

We’ve already met the accredited investor: someone with a high salary or established wealth who meets the legal requirements for the widest possible choice of investments.

Qualified investors are just as wealthy as accredited investors, but they’re also financially educated. They’re equipped to analyze a business’s financials, or the reasons behind market movements.

But both are always on the outside. Sure, they may buy shares and prosper that way, but they have little control over their assets.

In contrast, an inside investor creates assets instead of buying them. The inside investor builds her own business, be it a real estate agency, a tech start-up or something else entirely. That business can become a valuable asset, and she can use it to generate income, or eventually sell it.

To truly be the top dog – a sophisticated investor – the inside investor has to use the experience of building her own business to learn how to analyze other companies from the outside.

The sophisticated investor knows how to make tax and the law work to her advantage. But first, let’s look at how you can become an insider and start accessing the investment opportunities of the rich. It’s time to get down to business.

If you aren’t yet rich, become an inside investor; starting a business is an achievable route to wealth.

Many people think, “I could never start my own business.” But just 120 years ago, 85 percent of Americans were independent farmers or small shopkeepers. In other words, the vast majority of Americans were businesspeople – and you can be one, too.

Anyone can start a business and become rich. If you want to become an accredited or qualified investor, you already need to be wealthy. But starting a business only requires a bit of creativity.

Look at how Jeff did it. As a child, he created his first business from nothing. He saw that a local store was discarding old comic books and persuaded them to let him take the discards. He then opened a profitable comic library, charging school friends a 10-cent membership fee. From nothing but a good idea, he built an asset.

One reason many people hold back is time and money. You’ve got to pay the bills, so you don’t want to give up your job, right? How the heck are you going to find the time to start a business?

But it’s entirely possible to start a business part-time, and some of the world’s finest business leaders did just that.

Michael Dell started Dell Computers by working part-time in his university dorm room, and eventually got so rich that he decided to drop out. Jeff Bezos started Amazon part-time, working out of a garage, and today his company is worth over $500 billion. Imagine if he hadn’t had the courage to start things up in his spare time.

Once you have a business, you have options. You can reinvest the cash it generates into other assets; you can grow the business and sell it; or you can take it public. All three can be routes to riches you’ll never experience as an employee.

All of us have the potential to start a business, but maybe we don’t know how. Let’s take a look at the key principles for making a business work.

Master mission, leadership and team and you can build a great business.

Did you know that Bill Gates didn’t invent the software that made him the world’s richest man? He merely bought it from a group of programmers. He built a great business, not a great product – and that was the key to his success.c Building a business is a matter of mastering three things.

First, a business needs a spiritual mission to guide it. Henry Ford embodied this. His mission wasn’t to make money, though that’s exactly what he did, and in vast quantities. Ford’s mission was to bring the car to the masses and “democratize the automobile.” He pursued this mission relentlessly and the riches followed.

Finding a guiding spiritual mission, one that aligns with your financial goals, will help keep you on the right track.

Second, every leader needs a team. Maybe you’re an accountant, an insurer or a lawyer. But you are unlikely to be all three, and all are important if you want a successful business. A common factor among rich business leaders is the knowledge that money spent on their team is an investment – one that will almost certainly make them richer.

Third, every team needs a leader. Anyone who served in the military, knows that troops won’t follow a poor leader. Leadership is a skill unto itself. It’s not simply about being the best; rather, it’s about bringing out the best in other people.

How can you acquire leadership skills? One great way is to volunteer. In many groups, no one wants the responsibility of leading. So, whether at work, at a religious institution or in your community, speak up and volunteer to lead – it’s a great way to get feedback and learn where you can improve.

Every successful entrepreneur can communicate and sell.

Raising capital, advertising, negotiating, motivating your team and making sales – what do all these aspects of business life have in common?

All are crucial for success, and all require top-notch communication skills. So how can you become a better communicator?

Well, investing time in a sales-training program is a proven approach. Good places to look are network-marketing organizations, as they often have great programs. Joining and sticking with one for at least five years can work wonders. Shy people, scared of failure, come out the other end with the two key skills of a salesperson: the ability to communicate the value of a product with ease, and fearlessness in the face of rejection.

Master these two qualities and you will likely be a powerful communicator. This trait will shine through, not just when you’re selling your product or service, but when you have to deal with an investor, negotiate better terms or rouse your team.

If you’re serious about being a top communicator, don’t just think about your words; your physical appearance is just as, if not more, important.

Studies of public speakers show that 55 percent of their impact comes from body language, 35 percent from how they speak and just 10 percent from their words.

If you think about the business leaders you know, they probably all look the part, right? And this can go a long way indeed.

A banker once said that his bank had just brought in a new president because of his appearance. The new appointee simply looked and spoke like the president of a bank should. The board would run the bank, but the president’s outward appearance would generate new customers.

Learning to communicate and look the part will pay off in lots of ways. Just like improving your financial literacy, it’s an investment worth making.

Once you’ve mastered business, you can become a sophisticated investor.

So you’ve started a business, and it’s going well. Now it’s time to use the income and the experience you’ve accumulated and take things to the next level. It’s time to become a sophisticated investor.

As a sophisticated investor, you’ll take more control over management, corporate structure, investment decision making and taxes. The result? Maximized returns.

Let’s look at a restaurant owned by Bill and Jane, two hard-working Americans. They operate as a sole proprietorship, which means that they have one income source. They pay normal, personal income tax and they are liable if anything goes wrong – like a sick customer filing a lawsuit. All their eggs are in one basket.

No disrespect to Bill and Jane, but the sophisticated investor knows better. He would have two corporations: Bill would own the restaurant itself and Jane would own the building it’s in. This way, risk is spread.

If a customer falls sick and sues the restaurant, the real estate is legally separate and protected. Meanwhile, under this corporate structure, expenses like health insurance and legal fees are allocated as business expenses and paid pre-tax. Tax itself is paid at lower, corporate rates – less risk, less tax, more financial return.

Whatever you want to invest in, as a sophisticated investor, you know how to make your money work for you.

An average person’s plan for retirement might consist of squirreling away $15,000 a year in a 401k plan and hoping for an 8-percent return.

The sophisticated investor is more likely to invest in real estate, some stocks and shares and a business venture. With the experience brought by building a business, and by investing in his financial literacy and education, he can make the investment decisions of the rich: spotting the best opportunities, understanding what’s really risky and what isn’t.

The average approach sees you work for your money. The second approach sees your money work for you. Don’t be average.

If you want to be rich, you must think and act like a rich investor does. That means focusing on building a business and investing in assets, not focusing on employment and savings. In doing so, you can build and control an investment portfolio that generates income and grows your wealth.

Action plan: Decide whether you want to be secure, comfortable or rich.

Take some time to truly reflect on what your priority is: to be secure, to be comfortable or to be rich. One is not better than the other, but they represent very different choices and outcomes. Talk to your partner or family, and sketch out pros and cons. Being certain in your decision to prioritize becoming rich will give you the mind-set you need. You’ll find yourself shifting from saying “I can’t afford that” to “How can I afford that?”

#Investing Like A Rich Person And Become Rich Yourself.

[ladycollegeguide-blog]

Expecting the Unexpected

Change in life is both unpredictable and inevitable. Although we cannot stop change from occurring, we can plan for some unexpected events in college. On this week’s blog, we’ll be discussing some closing tips while you prep for your new and refreshing university move. We’ll be touching base on homesickness, dorm room preparation, roommate cohabitation, packing and gearing up for your shot at a new and improved life! There is a lot to touch base on, so let’s dive in gals.

Firstly, let’s discuss homesickness. This too, is inevitable. You’ll miss the relationships you’ve worked so hard to grow and cherish. From that, I strongly advise you hold onto these relationships. College is a phenomenal time to expand your horizons, to meet new people and to build more relationships. This should not discredit the relationships you have built in the past. It just allows you more room to grow with other like-minded individuals. As we’re in the midst of June, you should plan to spend a significant amount of time with those in your hometown. Your parents that are overbearing and pesty- you’ll miss them after week one in the dorms. Your siblings that you fight with so very much, you’ll grow to miss their bothersome characteristics. Therefore, take the time to cherish the rest of this summer with those family members and friends. Before you know it, you’re on limited time and you’ll never get those missed opportunities back.

To help minimize missing these people so deeply, I recommend making tons of plans. Invite your family members to come visit and allow time for other visitors as well. Make sure to schedule time home for the holidays! If you’ve gotten tired of family craziness during the holidays, you’ll learn to love these holidays even more once you start college. The holidays allow you to spend time with everyone you’ve missed dearly and that is convenience at its finest! Also, if you can preplan and start your holiday breaks a few days early- do it. Work with your professors and push yourself to work harder in school. Everyone enjoys a little extra vacation time, so work hard to fit in extended time back home! Don’t be upset if you have a tough semester and you just can’t swing an extended stay. Your family will understand that you’re doing your best with what you have going on.

Additionally, I’m sure you’ve got some pictures printed off to decorate your room with. Start hanging these sooner than later! The quicker you can hang those good memories up around your room, the more comfortable you’ll be during your moving transition. This is going to be a huge and drastic change in your life, so make it as comfortable and positive as possible as quickly as you can. This will definitely help you adapt to a new setting as well, because establishing a secure home-base provides you with a comfort blanket to fall back on during the tough times you may endure away from everyone.

Now, I want to reassure you on this move. You may be starting over in a new city with new people, but this is going to be such a phenomenal experience for you!! That sounds cliché, but by the time year two of college hits, you’ll understand just how much the world is at your fingertips. The new people you will meet will help you develop into an extraordinarily powerful and able person. Do not fear this change with new people, rather embrace it and cherish the knowledge offered to you. This applies to you on both an educational level and a networking/relationship building level. You have a remarkable journey in front of you! Aim high and conquer all because you CAN!

Secondly, I realize it is only June. But also, holy cow, it’s already June. You’ll be moving in the blink of an eye, so the preparation and organization should start pretty quick here. I would strongly advise you begin researching dorm-room ideas on Pinterest, like yesterday. It’ll give you a strong push to get the ball rolling on how you want to make your room as homey as possible. When I started planning my move I couldn’t get out of magazines. Of course, that feels a little old school now, but hey, to each their own. Adding Christmas lights is a perfect way to perfect your dorm room vibe. The lights are calming and less obnoxious that the dorm lighting. They also set the mood for reading, wine nights, or Netflix binging with the girls. Perfect for any setting, Christmas lights 24/7 are ALWAYS the way to go! You simply just can’t go wrong here.

It also doesn’t hurt to stock up on a couple boxes of these lights because unfortunately these suckers have a tendency to burn out easily. Quick side note related to other things “burning”, POPCORN. Popcorn is the most cherished prize during your college years. It’s the perfect snack, meal, and wine companion known to man. You can never have enough popcorn, so, make sure to always stock up. Oh, and keep an eye on the bag when you’re microwaving it. When someone burns a bag of popcorn, the whole dorm floor suffers from the stench. Don’t be “that guy.” Sorry ladies, don’t be “that girl.”

 Alright. After that quick tip, we’ll head back onto more relevant and general topics. LISTS. Lists are the best tool for success when packing up for your move. You need to jot down all personal care items, the variety of clothing items you’ll need and so much more. Here’s a quick list of items you may have not thought of, but will certainly come in handy once you transition into dorm room living. 

·         First aid kit

·         Bottle opener

·         Screwdriver

·         Duct tape

·         Power strip

·         Microwave

·         Slippers and sandals (especially shower shoes)

·         Eating utensils

·         Shower Caddy

·         Music speaker

·         Headphones

·         Additional shelving

·         Swimsuits

·         A nice, presentable suit for Business Professional events

This list is not exhaustible, merely included to generate ideas of your own personal necessities that you may have not thought of previously. I’ll admit it, a few of these items are things I forgot and desperately needed but hadn’t thought of them prior to my crossing of state borders. A little bit of brainstorming never hurts when it comes to these things! When more random necessities pop into your mind, ensure that you jot them down immediately. This will help you prepare better for your move and keep you under a well-organized blanket during your transition! I love making notes on my iPhone, but if you appreciate the paper/pen aspect of lists, utilize that as well. The important part in all of this is to begin preparing you for how much you’ll need to take with you when you go. You’ll want to get most of these things in order before you take off, because obtaining random items in a different region can be quite stressful. Especially when a majority of campuses do not allow freshman to have a vehicle during their first year. Yes, many campuses offer bussing options, and you may be able to make friends with cars, but set yourself up for success ladies.

 Another quick tip when packing your life up: invest in some sturdy travel bags if you do not already have some. These come in handy for the following reasons: 

1.      They can carry a lot of beer at one time

2.      Several bottles of wine at one time will fit in there

3.      They can hold a lot of clothes when you’re packing for holidays

4.      They travel well when you need to get gussied-up or stay at another friend’s place

5.      You have quality bags for your Aldi grocery store runs!

Quality, sturdy traveling gear is quite useful, believe me! Also, they’re so versatile for all of your needs, so investing is a must!

 On another note, make sure you’re keeping in touch with your soon-to-be roommate(s). If you could coordinate a theme or color scheme for your room, you should absolutely try to. If you sense a slight disconnect here, that’s fine! You’ll each have your own space to decorate as you please. However, staying in touch can get you connected with these people sooner than later. The better you can get along with your roommates, the easier your life will be. Conflict is bound to happen once or twice when you start living with another person, but if you can get more information on your roommates earlier, you can hopefully start building a bond earlier. Us ladies tend to get a little snippy at times, so be understanding when your roommates get a little snippy too. Do not take things personal when a bad day comes around and the people within your room aren’t the most pleasant. As much as you should always expect respect from others when you’re respectful, it is important to understand that other people are doing their best during these times as well and nobody is perfect. Understanding this and getting in touch with your roommate combined will make your move so much easier. My first roommate my freshman year was the complete opposite of me in several ways, and yet we still chat frequently. We came from completely different backgrounds, had differing habits, morals, hobbies, etc. and we still found several ways to love living together. You don’t have to be the same person, per say, you just have to coexist at minimum. Establishing a relationship like this is so important because we all need a support system and you never want to live in an uncomfortable environment. Make sure you’re doing your best to build healthy, friendly relationships with those you live with because it will make your year so much easier if you do.

There was a lot of content in this week’s blog, but I hope everyone who chimed in was able to take something valuable from our time together. Do your best to always stay positive, caring, compassionate and hardworking and good things are bound to happen. This is the time for you to aim to be the best version of yourself possible, so do not take this time for granted. With all of the hard work you are sure to put into these college years, always remember how to have fun in your own way. Stay focused, and stay loving. Positivity goes a long way in life, so always try to add that same great energy onto other. Peace and love ladies, see you next time!

#MKT400UWL

[sayantandodo]

Could you please advise me what to do in life? Why not a StartUp?

Many young bloods planned so many things in life at an early stage, but as the time passed the plans fail and they become depressed. It is not only a boundary of a single country; it is an issue of all over the globe. Young generation people think and dreams a lot, but they need a guidance and a mentorship at that time to make the dream come into reality. Here is the solid platform of mentors, life coaches, guides and advisers; SkillPal. The team have a huge list of mentors who have a long-term experience in the industry. Young people and the novices can come to SkillPal for live video chat and bite-sized videos which may provide by experienced mentors.  

Mentors can develop into some of your most meaningful and life-changing relationships. A good mentor can make the difference between learning lessons “the hard way” and easily sidestepping mistakes on your entrepreneurial journey. But a mentor can’t be taken for granted; their time is just as valuable as yours, so don’t waste it. It’s important to take the time to prepare, to learn about them, to ask questions and to really put their advice to work. SkillPal is the strongest platform to get an expert mentor who may provide personalized feedback. You can definitely find a mentor at SkillPal. It is the platform where you can get bite-size videos on your topic from experts. SkillPal will make you reach the career goals, maybe your passion or professional benchmark.

How you may create a bond with your SkillPal Mentor:

1. Ask how you can contribute to the relationship.

2. Set SMART goals.

3. Prepare an agenda.

4. Bring specific questions.

5. Ask for honest feedback.

6. Take an active approach.

A mentor is a business professional with the experience to provide personalized support, sound business advice and encouragement to help emerging entrepreneurs develop their own abilities and insights. A mentor’s value stems from the fact that they’ve “been there and done that,” giving you the opportunity to learn from their mistakes and successes.

I am really wanting to tell you what are the key roles in a startup business. But you may need a mentor first to make you understand what the things to do and what not to. A mentor is a person who has a professional and life experience and who voluntarily agrees to help a mentee develop skills, competencies, or goals. Put another way, a mentor is an advisor and role model who is willing to invest in the mentee’s personal growth and professional development. A mentee is someone who has identified a specific personal or professional goal and who believes that the guidance and help of a mentor and being held accountable to the mentor can help them achieve their goal. If you are searching for a mentor SkillPal is the best way. Effective mentoring requires more than common sense. Research indicates that mentors and mentees who develop and manage successful mentoring partnerships demonstrate a number of specific, identifiable skills that enable learning and change to take place.

No startup is built on the exact same structure. This is because startups are, by definition, agile, lean, and adept at evolving based on the company need. However, some general role categories seem to recur everywhere. These include:

·         Engineers: out of all the positions at a startup, backend engineers are probably the ones who benefit the most clarity. Hackers, born coders and computer scientists are usually technically-orientated, focusing on learning the best programming languages, algorithms and frameworks for the project.

·         Product managers: often have engineering backgrounds, but also see the bigger picture. They enjoy analyzing traffic, understand how to prototype and research, and often know their way around various tasks.

·         Marketing and sales: the hustlers who will do everything in their power to promote and sell the product to the right audience.

·         Business Developers: often lumped together with sales, these positions often become available to more experienced salespeople. There is crossover in the skills, but making deals on a large scale implies strong people skills and an innate ability to network with the right people.

·         Legal teams: not always needed for brand new ventures, but primordial for growing startups.

·         Human Resources: hiring and firing, but also attracting top talent to fill positions at the company.

Startup roles are heavily dependent on what the company does. They also change greatly based on their size. This is why it is often useful to understand roles in the context of personalities, rather than job positions.

The Dreamer:     often the chief executive officer (CEO). They are the people whose passion     and vision can lead the project, either because they started it or because     they are absolutely the right person for it. They are often the startup     founders.

The Visionary: business     vision is just as important as company vision, and the responsibility     falls on the shoulders of the chief product officer (CPO). Their role is     to inspire team members based on the CEO’s dream, making goals a reality.

The Doer:     a role often taken on by the chief technical officer (CTO). It’s their job     to understand and meet technical challenges, by hiring the right startup     team and making them all work harmoniously on set targets and goals.

The Hustler: this     is what chief sales officers (CSOs) are often called. Hustling is     synonymous here with networking, selling, and generally driving the     product forward through usage.

The Growth Hacker: a     strategic thinker who is both analytical and creative. This person     understands marketing and how to create traction by understanding what     users want and how to give it to them.

One of the biggest challenges for small startups is to define clear roles that can be taken on. This is because startup teams often have to start small a small and one person will have to wear many hats. CEOs are often the ones doing the marketing, HR, legal and sales. CTOs manage projects, operations and developers. This can cause numerous problems in the long term. Roles that aren’t clearly defined can create frustrations for every party involved. Communication failures, authority issues and work overloads are all common problems found in young startups. In short, while wearing different hats is inevitable at first, it becomes important to promote delegation and the division of tasks as the startup evolves.

For most startup teams, it starts with a whiteboard. They will gather to answer a number of questions that make role definition easier:

What am I good at?

What technical skills can I offer?

How is my experience relevant?

Will I be able to delegate or hire people to help my     role?

Am I the best person for the role in the company?

This may take some back and forth. As always with teamwork, it’s important to be clear-headed.

This is where finding the personalities that work best together can have a tremendously positive knock-on effect. Strong, clashing egos could attempt to take on too much while stepping on other people’s toes. Similarly, those who lack assertiveness may see key responsibilities taken from them when they are in fact best suited for the role.

Choosing a mentor is not easy. But it is easy if you go through SkillPal. Here you can get the most important feedback of your work and knowledge. They are the most important pal of your skills. A mentor is someone whose life or work you value and admire, and who you think might be a good guide. These days, a mentor can be any age, in any field, so we encourage you not to think of a mentor in traditional terms. Too often we limit our mentors to those in more senior positions. Don’t let a person’s age, title, or experience pigeonhole your thinking. Have specific goals. Before you even begin your journey into looking for a mentor, you need to first know what your goals are.

The role of a SkillPal mentor is to:

· Help build your self-reliance and leadership skills

· Help you discover your own insights, abilities and solutions as you start and grow your business

· Support your self-directed learning and help you come to your own conclusions and decisions

· Listen to your ideas and answer your questions truthfully

· Give emotional support while also challenging you

· Provide real-world business advice when requested/appropriate

· Celebrate milestones and successes

Being given the “answers” can make your life easier, but that isn’t the primary type of support a mentor provides. Your mentor will enable you and provide opportunities for you to learn how to solve problems and make decisions, ultimately helping you to help yourself.

Mentors are an essential ingredient for the success of any social entrepreneurship. They can help you learn how to navigate many of the challenges typically faced by social entrepreneurs, such as:

· conceiving a viable business model that creates both social and financial value

· measuring and evidencing social impact

· governance and legal structures

· processes

· attracting investment

· organizational structure

Mentoring participants will bring different competencies, tenure, and organizational knowledge to the program. You’ll want to make sure you’re matching them on the right skill traits. To do this, mentors and mentees fill out rich profiles. Based on the objectives of the program, these profiles will contain elements to help create rich matches, such as mentee developmental goals, mentor competencies, function, job experience, topical interests, and educational background.

Actually, SkillPal is the only mentorship platform where you can find a specific solution for your business and yourself. Having a mentor relationship is often a dream come true. A mentor is a teacher, a trusted advisor that a budding entrepreneur can turn to with questions and get valuable advice, tailored directly to their industry and specific business situation. But, how do you actually go about finding a mentor? While sometimes the relationship forms organically, it’s too much to hope that the perfect mentor will simply drop into your lap.

By using SkillPal we can be more confident that how my work is going on! Many of us do our work or our project from our perception of our own concept. But the maximum time we are getting flop and lose our confidence. But if we review our work from an expert mentor then we can be very successful. A mentor from SkillPal will tell us what mistakes he or she had done by doing this long ago. So as a result, if we listen to them, we can’t repeat those mistakes again.

In conclusion, it’s useful to remember that no organization, big or small, is built on the same structure. Amazon, Google and Facebook all operate on drastically different org charts. Similarly, no startup launches with the exact same roles. Regardless, no matter how small your venture is, it will still require structure. While it must be agile and adaptable, this means clearly defined roles that match the personalities of the employees. It’s not only a safe way to ensure smooth long-term operations but clearly a business advantage. In every corner of the world, there are many boys and girls who want to make their own startups rather than they want to work under someone. It is very easy to think but tough to handle.

There are chances of mistakes while starting their own business at a very young age. Young people must take advice from experts. SkillPal is a platform where people can get industry experts. Actually, SkillPal is the only mentorship platform where you can find a specific solution for your business and yourself. Having a mentor relationship is often a dream come true. A mentor is a teacher, a trusted advisor that a budding entrepreneur can turn to with questions and get valuable advice, tailored directly to their industry and specific business situation. But, how do you actually go about finding a mentor? While sometimes the relationship forms organically, it’s too much to hope that the perfect mentor will simply drop into your lap. I suggest SkillPal for you.

#SkillPal #personalized mentorship #startup #Business #business mentors #growth

[counselingwithita]

How to Get the Most From Couples Therapy

This article is designed to help you get the most benefit from our work together. The first three sections deal with how to prepare for and maximize the value of our sessions. The fourth section summarizes some brief concepts about relationships and productive couples therapy.

Your job is to create your own individual objectives for being in therapy. Like a good coach, my job is to help you reach them. I have many, many tools to help you become a more effective partner – they work best when you are clear about how you aspire to be.

The goal is to help you each make better adjustments and responses to each other without violating your core values or deeply held principles.

Goals and Objectives of Couples Therapy

The major aim of therapy is increasing your knowledge about yourself, your partner and the patterns of interaction between you. Therapy becomes effective as you apply new knowledge to break ineffective patterns and develop better ones.

The key tasks of couples therapy are increasing your clarity about:

The kind of life you want to build together

The kind of partner you aspire to be in order to build the kind of life and relationship you want to create

Your individual blocks to becoming the kind of partner you aspire to be

The skills and knowledge necessary to do the above tasks

Tradeoffs and Tough Choices

To create sustained improvement in your relationship you need:

A vision of the life you want to build together and individually

The appropriate attitudes and skills to work as a team

The motivation to persist

Time to review progress

To create the relationship you really desire, there will be some difficult tradeoffs and tough choices for each person.

The first tradeoff will be time. It simply takes time to create a relationship that flourishes: time to be together, time to be with family, time to play, coordinate, nurture, relax, hang out and plan. This time will encroach on some other valuable areas – your personal or professional time.

The second compromise is comfort. That means emotional comfort, like going out on a limb to try novel ways of thinking or doing things, listening and being curious instead of butting in, speaking up instead of becoming resentfully compliant or withdrawing. At the beginning, there will be emotional risk taking action, but you will never explore different worlds if you always keep sight of the shoreline. In addition, few people are emotionally comfortable being confronted with how they don't live their values or being confronted with the consequences of their actions.

The other comfort that will be challenged is energy comfort. It simply takes effort to sustain improvement over time – staying conscious of making a difference over time – remembering to be more respectful, more giving, more appreciative etc. It takes effort to remember and act.

The other effort is even more difficult for some people – that is improving their reaction to problems. For example, if one person is hypersensitive to criticism, and his/her partner is hypersensitive to feeling ignored, it will take effort to improve their sensitivity instead of hoping the partner will stop ignoring or criticizing.

In all these areas, there is generally a conflict between short-term gratification and the long-term goal of creating a satisfying relationship. The blunt reality is that, in an interdependent relationship, effort is required on the part of each person to make a sustained improvement. It is like pairs figure skating – one person cannot do most of the work and still create an exceptional team.

How to Maximize the Value from your Couples Therapy Sessions

A common yet unproductive pattern in couples therapy is making the focus be whatever problem happens to be on someone's mind at the moment. This is a reactive (and mostly ineffective) approach to working things through.

The second unproductive pattern is showing up with each person saying, “I don't know what to talk about, do you?” While this blank slate approach may open some interesting doors, it is a hit or miss process.

The third common unproductive pattern is discussing whatever fight you are in at the moment or whatever fight you had since the last meeting. Discussing these fights/arguments without a larger context of what you wish to learn from the experience is often an exercise in spinning your wheels.

Over time, repeating these patterns will lead to the plaintive question, “Are we getting anywhere?”

A more powerful approach to your couples therapy sessions is for each person to do the following before each session: 1. Reflect on your objectives for being in therapy. 2. Think about your next step that supports or relates to your larger objectives for the kind of relationship you wish to create, or the partner you aspire to become.

This reflection takes some effort. Yet few people would call an important meeting and then say, “Well, I don't have anything to bring up, does anyone else have anything on their agenda?” Your preparation will pay high dividends.

Important Concepts for Couples Therapy and Relationships

The following ideas can help identify areas of focus in our work and/or stimulate discussion between you and your partner between meetings. If you periodically review this list, you will discover that your reflections and associations will change over time. So please revisit this list often, it will help you keep focus during our work.

Attitude is Key

When it comes to improving your relationship, your attitude toward change is more important that what action to take.

What to do and how to do it can often be easily identified. The real challenge is why you don't do it.

How to think differently about a problem is often more effective than just trying to figure out what action to take.

Your partner is quite limited in his/her ability to respond to you. You are quite limited in your ability to respond to your partner. Accepting that is a huge step into maturity.

The definite possibility exists that you have some flawed assumptions about your partner's motives. And that he/she has some flawed assumptions about yours. The problem is, most of the time we don't want to believe those assumptions are flawed.

Focus on Changing Yourself Rather than Your Partner

Couples therapy works best if you have more goals for yourself than for your partner. I am at my best when I help you reach objectives you set for yourself.

Problems occur when reality departs sharply from our expectations, hopes, desires and concerns. It's human nature to try and change one's partner instead of adjusting our expectations. This aspect of human nature is what keeps therapists in business.

The hardest part of couples therapy is accepting you will need to improve your response to a problem (how you think about it, feel about it, or what to do about it). Very few people want to focus on improving their response. It's more common to build a strong case for why the other should do the improving.

You can't change your partner. Your partner can't change you. You can influence each other, but that doesn't mean you can change each other. Becoming a more effective partner is the most efficient way to change a relationship.

It's easy to be considerate and loving to your partner when the vistas are magnificent, the sun is shining and breezes are gentle. But when it gets bone chilling cold, you're hungry and tired, and your partner is whining and sniveling about how you got them into this mess, that's when you get tested. Your leadership and your character get tested. You can join the finger pointing or become how you aspire to become.

Nothing is impossible for the person who doesn't have to do it.

Fear lets you know you're not prepared. If you view fear in that mode, it becomes a signal to prepare the best you can.

You can learn a lot about yourself by understanding what annoys you and how you handle it.

The more you believe your partner should be different, the less initiative you will take to change the patterns between you.

Zen Aspects of Couples Therapy (Some Contradictions)

All major goals have built in contradictions, for example, speak up or keep the peace.

All significant growth comes from disagreements, dissatisfaction with the current status, or a striving to make things better. Paradoxically, accepting that conflict produces growth and learning to manage inevitable disagreements is the key to more harmonious relationships.

It's not what you say. It's what they hear.

Solutions, no matter how perfect, set the stage for new problems.

Tough Questions

Asking good questions – of yourself and your partner – helps you uncover causes beneath causes.

In a strong disagreement, do you really believe your partner is entitled to their opinion?

Under duress, do you have the courage and tenacity to seek your partner's reality and the courage to express your reality when the stakes are high?

Why is it important to let your partner know what you think, feel and are concerned about? (Because they really can't appreciate what they don't understand.) What is the price your partner will have to pay to improve their response to you? How much do you care about the price they will have to pay? (Everything has a price and we always pay it.)

Can you legitimately expect your partner to treat you better than you treat him/her?

Can you legitimately expect your partner to treat you better than you treat yourself?

If you want your partner to change, do you think about what you can do to make it easier?

When a problem shows up, it's natural to think “What should I do about it?” A much more productive question is, “How do aspire to be in this situation?”

The Importance of Communication

The three most important qualities for effective communication are respect, openness and persistence.

Good communication is much more difficult than most people want to believe. Effective negotiation is even harder.

A couple's vision emerges from a process of reflection and inquiry. It requires both people to speak from the heart about what really matters to each.

We are all responsible for how we express ourselves, no matter how others treat us.

Communication is the number one presenting problem in couples counseling. Effective communication means you need to pay attention to:

Managing unruly emotions, such as anger that is too intense

How you are communicating – whining, blaming, being vague, etc.

What you want from your partner during the discussion

What the problem symbolizes to you

The outcome you want from the discussion

Your partner's major concerns

How you can help your partner become more responsive to you

The beliefs and attitudes you have about the problem.

No wonder good communication is so hard.

Some Final Thoughts.

You can't create a flourishing relationship by only fixing what's wrong. But it's a start.

Grace under pressure does not spring full-grown even with the best of intentions – practice, practice and more practice. Practice the right things and you will get there.

Love is destroyed when self-interest dominates.

If you don't know what you feel in important areas of your relationship, it is like playing high stakes poker when you see only half your cards. You will make a lot of dumb plays.

The possibility exists that we choose partners we need but don't necessarily want.

To get to the bottom of a problem often means you first accept how complex it is.

Trust is the foundational building block of a flourishing relationship. You create trust by doing what you say you will do.

It's impossible to be in a highly inter-dependent relationship without ever being judgmental or being judged.

If you strive to always feel emotionally safe in your relationship and get it, you will pay the price by becoming dull.

If neither of you ever rocks the boat, you will end up with a dull relationship

Knowledge is not power. Only knowledge that is applied is power.

Most of the ineffective things we do in relationships fall into just a few categories:

Blame or attempt to dominate

Disengage/withdraw

Resentful compliance

Whine

Denial or confusion

These are the normal emotional reactions to feeling a threat or high stress. Improving your relationship means better management of these reactions.

Everything you do works for some part of you, even if other parts of you don't like it.

Everything you do that takes a sustained effort is governed by three motivations:

Avoid pain or discomfort

The benefits involved

Be a better person

It's also true for your partner.

If you are asking your partner to change something, sometimes it's a good idea to ask if the change is consistent with how they aspire to be in that situation.

Businesses and marriages fail for the same three reasons. A failure to:

Learn from the past

Adapt to changing conditions

Predict probable future problems and take action

Effective change requires insight plus action. Action without insight is thoughtless. Insight without action is passivity.

If you want to create a win-win solution, you cannot hold a position that has caused your partner to lose in the past.

“To be a champ you have to believe in yourself when nobody else will.” –Sugar Ray Robinson, middleweight boxing champion, considered by many to be the best fighter in history, pound-for-pound.

Written by: Pete & Ellyn

https://www.couplesinstitute.com/how-to-get-the-most-from-couples-therapy-tx/

#couples therapy #couple counseling

[couplesinstitutecounseling]

Couples are often uncertain what to expect from the process of couples therapy. They are not sure of what to expect of the therapist or even if the therapist has any expectations of them.

I have found most couples approach therapy with the notion that each person will describe their distress and somehow the therapist will assist them to create a happier, more functional, relationship. They expect to learn some new or better skills. However, most people hope their partner will do most of the learning in problem areas.

After 30 years of clinical experience and specializing in working with thousands of couples, I have arrived at some guidelines that can make our work more effective. First, I do have some expectations of you. I am not neutral. I have evolved principles and concepts that I believe give us the greatest chance for success.

I believe my primary role is to help you improve your responses to each other without violating your core values or deeply held principles. So that you may know some of my key guiding principles, I have created this document to provide clarity and focus to our work.

Your job is to create your own individual objectives for being in therapy. Like a good coach, my job is to help you reach them. I have many, many tools to help you become a more effective partner – they work best when you are clear about how you aspire to be.

Goals and Objectives of Couples Therapy

The major aim of therapy is increasing your knowledge about yourself, your partner and the patterns of interaction between you. Therapy becomes effective as you apply new knowledge to break ineffective patterns and develop better ones.

The key tasks of couples therapy are increasing your clarity about:

The kind of life you want to build together

The kind of partner you aspire to be in order to build the kind of life and relationship you want to create

Your individual blocks to becoming the kind of partner you aspire to be

The skills and knowledge necessary to do the above tasks

Tradeoffs and Tough Choices

To create sustained improvement in your relationship you need:

A vision of the life you want to build together

To have a life separate from your partner because you are not joined at the hip

The appropriate attitudes and skills to work as a team

The motivation to persist

Time to review progress

To create the relationship you really desire, there will be some difficult tradeoffs and tough choices for each person.

The first tradeoff will be time. It simply takes time to create a relationship that flourishes: time to be together, time to be with family, time to play, coordinate, nurture, relax, hang out and plan. This time will encroach on some other valuable areas – your personal or professional time.

The second compromise is comfort. That means emotional comfort, like going out on a limb to try novel ways of thinking or doing things, listening and being curious instead of butting in, speaking up instead of becoming resentfully compliant or withdrawing. At the beginning, there will be emotional risk taking action, but you will never explore different worlds if you always keep sight of the shoreline. In addition, few people are emotionally comfortable being confronted with how they don’t live their values or being confronted with the consequences of their actions.

The other comfort that will be challenged is energy comfort. It simply takes effort to sustain improvement over time: staying conscious of making a difference over time, remembering to be more respectful, more giving, more appreciative etc. It takes effort to remember and act.

The other effort is even more difficult for some people: that is improving their reaction to problems. For example, if one person is hypersensitive to criticism, and his/her partner is hypersensitive to feeling ignored, it will take effort to improve their sensitivity instead of hoping the partner will stop ignoring or criticizing.

In all these areas, there is generally a conflict between short-term gratification and the long-term goal of creating a satisfying relationship. The blunt reality is that, in an interdependent relationship, effort is required on the part of each person to make a sustained improvement. It is like pairs figure skating – one person cannot do most of the work and still create an exceptional team.

How to Maximize the Value from your Couples Therapy Sessions

A common yet unproductive pattern in couple’s therapy is making the focus be whatever problem happens to be on someone’s mind at the moment. This is a reactive (and mostly ineffective) approach to working things through.

The second unproductive pattern is showing up and saying, “I don’t know what to talk about, do you?” While this blank slate approach may open some interesting doors, it is a hit or miss process.

The third common unproductive pattern is discussing whatever fight you are now in or whatever fight you had since the last meeting. Discussing these fights/arguments without a larger context of what you wish to learn from the experience is often an exercise in spinning your wheels.

Over time, repeating these patterns will lead to the plaintive question, “Are we getting anywhere?”

A more powerful approach to your couple’s therapy sessions is for each person to do the following before each session:

Reflect on your objectives for being in therapy.

Think about your next step that supports or relates to your larger objectives for the kind of relationship you wish to create, or the partner you aspire to become.

This reflection takes some effort. Yet few people would call an important meeting and then say, “Well, I don’t have anything to bring up, does anyone else have anything on their agenda?” Your preparation will pay high dividends.

Important Concepts for Couples Therapy and Relationships

The following ideas can help identify areas of focus in our work and/or stimulate discussion between you and your partner between meetings. If you periodically review this list, you will discover that your reflections and associations will change over time. So please revisit this list often, it will help you keep focus during our work.

Attitude is Key

When it comes to improving your relationship, your attitude toward change is more important than what action to take.

Identifying what to do and how to do it is often easy to identify. The bigger challenge is why you don’t do it.

How to think differently about a problem is often more effective than just trying to figure out what action to take.

Your partner is quite limited in his/her ability to respond to you. You are quite limited in your ability to respond to your partner. Accepting that is a huge step into maturity.

The definite possibility exists that you have some flawed assumptions about your partner’s motives. And that he/she has some flawed assumptions about yours. The problem is, most of the time we don’t want to believe those assumptions are flawed.

Focus on Changing Yourself Rather than Your Partner

Couples therapy works best if you have more goals for yourself than for your partner. I am at my best when I help you reach objectives you set for yourself.

Problems occur when reality departs sharply from our expectations, hopes, desires and concerns. It’s human nature to try and change one’s partner instead of adjusting our expectations. This aspect of human nature is what keeps therapists in business.

The hardest part of couples therapy is accepting you will need to improve your response to a problem (how you think about it, feel about it, or what to do about it). Very few people want to focus on improving their response. It’s more common to build a strong case for why the other should do the improving.

You can’t change your partner. Your partner can’t change you. You can influence each other, but that doesn’t mean you can change each other. Becoming a more effective partner is the most efficient way to change a relationship.

It’s easy to be considerate and loving to your partner when the vistas are magnificent, the sun is shining and breezes are gentle. But when it gets bone chilling cold, you’re hungry and tired, and your partner is whining and sniveling about how you got them into this mess, that’s when you get tested. Your leadership and your character get tested. You can join the finger pointing or become how you aspire to become.

Nothing is impossible for the person who doesn’t have to do it.

Fear lets you know you’re not prepared. If you view fear in that mode, it becomes a signal to prepare the best you can.

You can learn a lot about yourself by understanding what annoys you and how you handle it.

The more you believe your partner should be different, the less initiative you will take to change the patterns between you.

Zen Aspects of Couples Therapy (Some Contradictions)

All major goals have built in contradictions, for example, speak up or keep the peace.

All significant growth comes from disagreements, dissatisfaction with the current status, or a striving to make things better. Paradoxically, accepting that conflict produces growth and learning to manage inevitable disagreements is the key to more harmonious relationships.

It’s not what you say. It’s what they hear.

Solutions, no matter how perfect, set the stage for new problems.

Tough Questions

Asking good questions–of yourself and your partner–helps you uncover causes beneath causes.

In a strong disagreement, do you really believe your partner is entitled to their opinion?

Under duress, do you have the courage and tenacity to seek your partner’s reality and the courage to express your reality when the stakes are high?

Why is it important to let your partner know what you think, feel and are concerned about? (Because they really can’t appreciate what they don’t understand.)

What is the price your partner will have to pay to improve their response to you? How much do you care about the price they will have to pay? (Everything has a price and we always pay it.)

Can you legitimately expect your partner to treat you better than you treat him/her?

If you want your partner to change, do you think about what you can do to make it easier?

When a problem shows up, it’s natural to think “What should I do about it?” A much more productive question is. “How do I aspire to be in this situation?”

The Importance of Communication

The three most important qualities for effective communication are respect, openness and persistence.

Good communication is much more difficult than most people want to believe. Effective negotiation is even harder.

A couple’s vision emerges from a process of reflection and inquiry. It requires both people to speak from the heart about what really matters to each.

We are all responsible for how we express ourselves, no matter how others treat us.

Communication is the number one presenting problem in couples counseling. Effective communication means you need to pay attention to:

Managing unruly emotions, such as anger that is too intense

How you are communicating – whining, blaming, vague, etc.

What you want from your partner during the discussion

What the problem symbolizes to you

The outcome you want from the discussion

Your partner’s major concerns

How you can help your partner become more responsive to you

The beliefs and attitudes you have about the problem.

No wonder good communication is so hard.

Some Final Thoughts.

You can’t create a flourishing relationship by only fixing what’s wrong. But it’s a start.

Grace under pressure does not spring full-grown even with the best of intentions – practice, practice and more practice. Practice the right things and you will get there.

Love is destroyed when self-interest dominates.

If you don’t know what you feel in important areas of your relationship, it is like playing high stakes poker when you see only half your cards. You will make a lot of dumb plays.

The possibility exists that we choose partners we need but don’t necessarily want.

To get to the bottom of a problem often means you first accept how complex it is.

Trust is the foundational building block of a flourishing relationship. You create trust by doing what you say you will do.

It’s impossible to be in a highly inter-dependent relationship without ever being judgmental or being judged.

If you strive to always feel emotionally safe in your relationship and get it, you will pay the price by becoming dull.

If neither of you ever rocks boat, you will end up with a dull relationship

Knowledge is not power. Only knowledge that is applied is power.

Most of the ineffective things we do in relationships fall into just a few categories:

Blame or attempt to dominate

Disengage/withdraw

Resentful compliance

Whine

Denial or confusion.

These are the normal emotional reactions to feeling a threat or high stress. Improving your relationship means better management of these reactions.

Everything you do works for some part of you, even if other parts of you don’t like it.

Three motivations will govern any sustained effort you make. You will seek to: 1. Avoid pain or discomfort 2. Create more benefits 3. Be a better person. It’s also true for your partner.

If you are asking your partner to change something, sometimes it’s a good idea to ask if the change is consistent with how they aspire to be in that situation.

Businesses and marriages fail for the same three reasons. A failure to:

Learn from the past

Adapt to changing conditions

Predict probable future problems and take action.

Effective change requires insight plus action. Insight without action is passivity. Action without insight is impulsive. Insight plus action leads to clarity and power.

If you want to create a win-win solution, you cannot hold a position that has caused your partner to lose in the past.

“To be a champ you have to believe in yourself when nobody else will.” Sugar Ray Robinson -Middleweight boxing champion, considered by many to be the best fighter in history, pound-for-pound.

Note: please review this document periodically as there is simply too much to absorb in one reading of it. We all will benefit from your efforts.

The following three questions help clarify and sharpen our focus.

1. What kind of relationship do you want to be in and create if you stay together? What kind of relationship makes you glad to see other at the end of the day?

Interestingly, most couples who created their own wedding vows describe a marriage that could serve as the North Star for the kind of relationship they want to co-create.

If you wrote your own vows, how well do you remember them?

Identifying the kind of relationship you desire to be in is the target, the bigger picture of why we are meeting. Otherwise, we’re just going to jump in and try to solve problems without any idea how these problems fit into a bigger picture of where you’re headed.

You don’t start packing for a trip unless you have an idea where you’re going or how long you going to be there.

2. Why is this kind of relationship important to you?

It takes motivation to do the heavy lifting that’s going to grow your relationship.

It’s often said, and I believe it, “When we lose our why, we lose our way.”

It’s a lot more than just coming in here and complaining about what your partner does and then hope for a miracle. It’s human nature to want progress without effort or emotional risk. However, desire without effort creates lifeless marriages.

3. What’s required of you, not your partner, to create this kind of marriage?

The sooner you start identifying what’s required of you, not what’s required of your partner, you are on the way to the fast track of creating change.

I also know everybody has self-protection and coping mechanisms that inhibit individual growth.

Your barriers can be those that you’ve created since you got together or resulted from negative early life experiences.

Common barriers to growth are a quick temper, being critical, disengaging, not being dependable, being furious instead of curious, etc.

Just reading all this information and reflecting on how you aspire to be a better partner is a good beginning!

If you find you need help, reach out to us for a free consultation.  We can help!

#Relationships #Relationship Counseling #Couples Therapy #Couples Counseling #Individual Counseling

[zodiacspot]

Horoscope - March 30 2017

Aries Horoscope

(Mar 21 – Apr 19)

Striving to earn your keep makes you feel good about yourself today, but your work ethic can turn into a power trip if you don't maintain a humble perspective. Although an obstinate Moon-Mars conjunction in your 2nd House of Self-Worth bulks up your ego, someone you respect may call out your authoritarian attitude. Your ambitions often pull you away from meaningful relationships, but no amount of professional achievement will replace the emotional growth you can experience by sharing your success with those you love.

Taurus Horoscope

(Apr 20 – May 20)

While adaptability is often a useful trait, your infamous stubbornness could prove to be an even more valuable asset today. You're no stranger to sticking to your word, but if your list of rules is more like a restrictive belief system, it may be adversely affecting your health now. Consider ditching your devotion to a paradigm and putting your own personal wellbeing back at the top of your list.

Gemini Horoscope

(May 21 – Jun 20)

You're the happiest when you are free to flit from one activity to another, gathering experiences at your fancy. You can imagine all sorts of things you would love to put your heart into while the leisurely Taurus Moon plods through your 12th House of Fantasy. But sometimes you secretly doubt if any of your creative efforts make a difference. Your homework is to find ways to allow your authentic self to blossom without restraint. The only feeling stronger than the fear of failure is fear of success.

Cancer Horoscope

(Jun 21 – Jul 22)

You covet quality time spent with your circle of friends today because you could use some steady support. You may be grappling with a relationship issue now, and as much as you try to envision living up to what seems like a demanding standard, you're not sure if it's possible. However, leaning on your buddies for encouragement can help remind you of your emotional resilience. Remembering who you really are renews your faith in yourself.

Leo Horoscope

(Jul 23 – Aug 22)

You may wonder why the actions that once earned you recognition from your peers seem to no longer have the same effect. You're called to recognize how much you've grown beyond your old patterns when expansive Jupiter clashes with powerhouse Pluto in your 6th House of Routine. Small changes in your daily habits can add up to big rewards as long as you remain open-minded. Author Bernie Siegel wrote, "Embrace each challenge in your life as an opportunity for self-transformation."

Virgo Horoscope

(Aug 23 – Sep 22)

You can't help but feel a twinge of longing when you dream about your future prospects. Unfortunately, you may not think you have the right stuff to make your vision a reality. However, the dynamic Jupiter-Pluto square encourages you to believe in your abilities, even when your goals seem unreachable. Creatively reframing how you see yourself in a larger context will help you focus on the journey of becoming rather than the distance between you and your ideal destination. You can be both a masterpiece and a work in progress at the same time.

Libra Horoscope

(Sep 23 – Oct 22)

It's not easy to understand your feelings today and you may choose to ignore them instead. However, you could just be creating a pit of emotional quicksand by struggling to keep your worries at arm's length. Stop resisting the inevitable and face your demons so limiting beliefs won't have the same hold they once did. Identifying the root of your fears takes away their power. Follow Eleanor Roosevelt's advice, "Do one thing every day that scares you."

Scorpio Horoscope

(Oct 23 – Nov 21)

You might end up in a heated exchange with someone close to you today. You don't want to back down when you know you're in the right, but chances are the other person is just as adamant as you are now. If you take the low road, you're bound to wind up regretting your journey. Instead, loosen your grip and pursue the moral high ground, even if you feel like you're missing out on a good argument. Some people create their own storms, and then get upset when it rains.

Sagittarius Horoscope

(Nov 22 – Dec 21)

Your obligations weigh you down now when you would rather be fighting the good fight for a conviction that really matters. However, there's more to participating in a social cause than your public persona. Developing your own sense of moral integrity and personal responsibility is just as important as being on the front lines. Growing into your highest potential enables you to be a powerful warrior for your beliefs.

Capricorn Horoscope

(Dec 22 – Jan 19)

You're known for your resilience, and you're apt to put it to the test today just to see how far you can go. But you may not realize that what seems like a healthy ambition to you may be perceived as overly aggressive by others. Your obstinacy can be a blessing in disguise, but you could benefit from taking a more generous approach when it comes to relationships. Although your determination earns you respect, graciousness earns you the admiration you seek.

Aquarius Horoscope

(Jan 20 – Feb 18)

It could seem like there are invisible boundaries in place that confine you to a certain path now, even when you do your best to abolish ignorance at every turn. Your love of learning is no secret, but when high-minded Jupiter in your 9th House of Philosophy argues with shadowy Pluto, there are some factors that are beyond cognitive understanding. Although this may be mildly infuriating for an intellectual type, the sooner you can embrace life's mysteries, the more you will be at peace. Picasso said, "The hidden harmony is better than the obvious."

Pisces Horoscope

(Feb 19 – Mar 20)

There are few greater joys than being fully recognized by someone you love. However, conveying your intentions isn't always that easy and you could feel like you don't have what it takes to make someone happy today. However, the emotional dynamics are too complicated for any one person to accept the blame. Although it's wise to consider your role in the larger picture, there is much nuance when it comes to intimate relationships. Take responsibility for your own emotional state before expending energy trying to change anyone else's.

Source : Rick Levine

Read more about your horoscope here

#ZodiacSpot #Horoscope #Horoscopes #Astrology #Daily

[phynxrizng]

Source, New post on Witches Of The Craft®

Your Daily Love Horoscopes for Thursday, March 30th

by ladyoftheabyss

General Horoscope

We may need to recommit to our idealistic goals as the pressure to evolve alters our perspectives. A long-lasting Jupiter-Pluto square is exact today, urging us to take a stand on a social issue or backing us into a corner where we need to face a worthy opponent. The unyielding Taurus Moon joins warrior Mars, adding fuel to our feistiness. We know what's right and have no excuses; we must be firm in our convictions as we speak truth to

Aries Horoscope MAR 21 – APR 19

Striving to earn your keep makes you feel good about yourself today, but your work ethic can turn into a power trip if you don't maintain a humble perspective. Although an obstinate Moon-Mars conjunction in your 2nd House of Self-Worth bulks up your ego, someone you respect may call out your authoritarian attitude. Your ambitions often pull you away from meaningful relationships, but no amount of professional achievement will replace the emotional growth you can experience by sharing your success with those you love.

Taurus Horoscope APR 20 – MAY

While adaptability is often a useful trait, your infamous stubbornness could prove to be an even more valuable asset today. You're no stranger to sticking to your word, but if your list of rules is more like a restrictive belief system, it may be adversely affecting your health now. Consider ditching your devotion to a paradigm and putting your own personal wellbeing back at the top of your list.

Gemini Horoscope MAY 21 – JUN

You're the happiest when you are free to flit from one activity to another, gathering experiences at your fancy. You can imagine all sorts of things you would love to put your heart into while the leisurely Taurus Moon plods through your 12th House of Fantasy. But sometimes you secretly doubt if any of your creative efforts make a difference. Your homework is to find ways to allow your authentic self to blossom without restraint. The only feeling stronger than the fear of failure is fear of success.

Cancer Horoscope JUN 21 – JUL

You covet quality time spent with your circle of friends today because you could use some steady support. You may be grappling with a relationship issue now, and as much as you try to envision living up to what seems like a demanding standard, you're not sure if it's possible. However, leaning on your buddies for encouragement can help remind you of your emotional resilience. Remembering who you really are renews your faith in

Leo Horoscope JUL 23 – AUG 22

You may wonder why the actions that once earned you recognition from your peers seem to no longer have the same effect. You're called to recognize how much you've grown beyond your old patterns when expansive Jupiter clashes with powerhouse Pluto in your 6th House of Routine. Small changes in your daily habits can add up to big rewards as long as you remain open-minded. Author Bernie Siegel wrote, "Embrace each challenge in your life as an opportunity for self-transformation."

Virgo Horoscope AUG 23 – SEP 22

You can't help but feel a twinge of longing when you dream about your future prospects. Unfortunately, you may not think you have the right stuff to make your vision a reality. However, the dynamic Jupiter-Pluto square encourages you to believe in your abilities, even when your goals seem unreachable. Creatively reframing how you see yourself in a larger context will help you focus on the journey of becoming rather than the distance between you and your ideal destination. You can be both a masterpiece and a work in progress at the same time.

Libra Horoscope SEP 23 – OCT 22

It's not easy to understand your feelings today and you may choose to ignore them instead. However, you could just be creating a pit of emotional quicksand by struggling to keep your worries at arm's length. Stop resisting the inevitable and face your demons so limiting beliefs won't have the same hold they once did. Identifying the root of your fears takes away their power. Follow Eleanor Roosevelt's advice, "Do one thing every day that scares you."

Scorpio Horoscope OCT 23 – NOV

You might end up in a heated exchange with someone close to you today. You don't want to back down when you know you're in the right, but chances are the other person is just as adamant as you are now. If you take the low road, you're bound to wind up regretting your journey. Instead, loosen your grip and pursue the moral high ground, even if you feel like you're missing out on a good argument. Some people create their own storms, and then get upset when it rains.

Sagittarius Horoscope NOV 22 –

Your obligations weigh you down now when you would rather be fighting the good fight for a conviction that really matters. However, there's more to participating in a social cause than your public persona. Developing your own sense of moral integrity and personal responsibility is just as important as being on the front lines. Growing into your highest potential enables you to be a powerful warrior for your beliefs.

Capricorn Horoscope DEC 22 –

You're known for your resilience, and you're apt to put it to the test today just to see how far you can go. But you may not realize that what seems like a healthy ambition to you may be perceived as overly aggressive by others. Your obstinacy can be a blessing in disguise, but you could benefit from taking a more generous approach when it comes to relationships. Although your determination earns you respect, graciousness earns you the admiration you seek.

Aquarius Horoscope JAN 20 – FEB

It could seem like there are invisible boundaries in place that confine you to a certain path now, even when you do your best to abolish ignorance at every turn. Your love of learning is no secret, but when high-minded Jupiter in your 9th House of Philosophy argues with shadowy Pluto, there are some factors that are beyond cognitive understanding. Although this may be mildly infuriating for an intellectual type, the sooner you can embrace life's mysteries, the more you will be at peace. Picasso said, "The hidden harmony is better than the obvious."

Pisces Horoscope FEB 19 – MAR

There are few greater joys than being fully recognized by someone you love. However, conveying your intentions isn't always that easy and you could feel like you don't have what it takes to make someone happy today. However, the emotional dynamics are too complicated for any one person to accept the blame. Although it's wise to consider your role in the larger picture, there is much nuance when it comes to intimate relationships. Take responsibility for your own emotional state before expending energy trying to change anyone else's.

Part of the Daily Insight Group ©2017

REPOSTED BY, PHYNXRIZNG