#you’ll probably die

[thetownnarcoleptic]

Clodsire is the absolute best and most delightful dollop of chocolate pudding ever to ooze it’s way into my cold dead heart

#pokémon #clodsire #sploot #squishy #dessert #food poisoning #literally #but seriously #don’t eat him #you’ll probably die

[lovelesslittleloser]

People should be more afraid of asexuals, because they’re the only people that are immune to one of the seven deadly sins

#seven deadly sins #maybe they have metaphorical lust. lust for the aesthetic #asexual #we also should fear aromantics but they aren’t necessarily immune to lust so fear them for the usual reasons #pride? sometimes can be negated by self-hatred but usually shows up when you do something to be proud of. as it should #greed? you might donate your money to orphans but if anyone touches your collection of shiny trinkets their hand will be removed #envy? unless you have never met any other living beings I don’t think it’s possible to escape this one #wrath? work in public service for a week and we’ll get you wanting to fistfight god #gluttony? eating disorders are a thing; however you should definitely eat something unless you wanna die #sloth? insomnia is a thing. but you should probably sleep if you don’t want to be driven mad upon the rocks #honestly too little of the seven deadly sins is also bad. no sloth? you’re barely functioning. no gluttony? you die of starvation. #no wrath? you’ll become a doormat. no envy? you’ll never want to improve yourself. no greed? you give all your stuff away and are now poor #no pride? you don’t love yourself AT ALL. no lust? no new generation. #and frankly that last one isn’t bad in the slightest considering that much is also true for people with a same-gender significant other #(unless they are also trans and willing but that’s a them problem to have) #plus overpopulation is a thing anyway so frankly the less lust the better. #the avatar of lust has been too overworked the past few decades and and wants a damn break for once #tw eating issues #tw eating disorder #eating disorder mention #shitpost

[itissadbutitsmy-artblog]

wait that idea is making me lose it pep comes over to hang out one day and he’s like guys. I need you to not die. and they’re like?? aha ofcourse bud no problem. and he’s like (700 years of life experience and has watched several friends die) (probably just lost simon or finn and is raw but won’t admit it any other way to his wizard friends) no I mean it guys. I’m going to figure out a way, to continually extend your lifespans. since I’m immortal now. no it’s ok my mom has been into immortality experimentation and the extension of life and regeneration since like forever.

like where were you when our friend died a few years back when we were kids and can you bring him back

(oh yeah lemme check with my other mom, who can do necromancy. no, I said my OTHER mom, the one who can do it without the use of potions that frequently backfire)

#not art #I feel like when I talk about this au I lose a lot of my ability to give background I’m just like you guys know what’s up #you ppl who are here for gumball. or even advtime. you know enough about the intricacies of the advtime wizard city plot #to follow this au along. I know it. #well anyways. #honestly this works in that pepperminteppi au or in just regular. he just wakes up one day like nyyahg you guys cannot die on me #(like spader did)(like other guys in my life outside the city have done) #awww pep is your Sadness kicking in? dw we have a lot of resources for that hang on #<- take me to wizard city get me the sadness and madness resources they probably have everywhere #Unless. aw fuck I’m gonna go feral. unless it’s #—Guys I got so excited about madness and sadness (unrelated to this post even!) that I think I maxed out my tags it was crazy #you shoulda been there. anyways. I just talk so much #I saved them elsewhere you’ll see my thoughts someday but not here today #adventure time #distant lands #peppermint #I guess #just to organize it

[only-one-brain-cell]

“Try not to look official.”

Everyone in suits/ shirt with a tie/ blazer: 🧍‍♀️🧍🏾🧍🧍🏻

“Try to look less official”

Spencer take off your tie you’ll blend in.

#criminal minds #criminal minds 1x2 #potato cm rerewatch #the fact that Derek is wearing a suit snd Spencer is just wearing a shirt with a tie kills me #fetus Spencer really walked into his FBI job like that and everyone let him #half off then probably thought he was a assistant or something #a year down the road their like wait a second the kid is Dr Spencer Reid?? what do you mean hes 24??????? #(or whatever age Spencer is in s1) #Rossi when he first met Spencer: Hotch why is their a child in the BAU? #Hotch: you’ll see #Rossi 5 minutes later: I’d die for this child

[madsky1222]

NICK WAYNES MOM BEING THERE IS SO COOL

#like just imagine having your mom at a match that you’ll probably die in #that’s so sick #aew #aew lb #aew liveblog #nick wayne

[mumblesplash]

which trigun show would you say someone should start on?

depends on what you like i think? if you care a lot about visuals and can easily connect to characters without needing to feel like you Know What’s Going On you’ll probably like stampede, if you care more about plot and like. a more tangible-feeling sense of story and worldbuilding it’s probably best to start with the original

#splashasks #agendercryptidlev #iirc you followed me for danny phantom so you’d probably fall into the first category #mood wise tristamp almost feels like if dp was canonically as horrifying as the fandom made it but still sorta kept up the cheery facade #the characterization so far is actually really good but half of it is like ridiculously subtle and it hides behind the obvious #like there’s a part where vash refuses to kill and eat a bug even though he’s hungry and like #yeah that’s just What He’s Like and you already know by this point #but the way it’s set up in context is actually a really clever nod to the fact that vash is biologically immortal #bc to him if ‘it’s gonna die soon anyway’ was a good enough reason to not care about something he wouldn’t care about humans either #AND the bug is conceptually connected to a child he failed to protect in the previous episode #its a blink and you’ll miss it type of thing and also the much more blatant reference to his pacifism and self-destructive tendencies #feels like it could feasibly be the whole point #also stampede has way more vashwood and way less vashmeryl #but there’s no milly thompson yet and milly is delightful

[queer-ragnelle]

Some people wouldn’t know good taste if it was spat into their mouths.

#feeling salty tonight about some stupid fucking people #stop presenting your opinion as fact when you seem to deliberately misinterpret texts for your own ends #you project wildly it’s a bad look cut that shit out #learn to appreciate nuance #you’ll enjoy things so much more instead of constantly digging your heels in about the first inclination you ever had #learn to challenge yourself and grow and you’ll probably open up more #everything is subjective but sometimes someone’s rotten brain mangles a story beyond recognition and then yeah they’re just wrong #shoving every story and character and author into a box is dumb and you’re limiting yourself #remove the boundaries and expand your mind and you might find you enjoy things much more #constantly ​hating on things is exhausting. wouldn’t you like to rest? #take a deep breath and let it fucking go man this is stupid hill to die on #nothing is as black and white as you say and your extreme views are unfairly coloring the text in a negative light #it’s not that bad in fact I think it’s great and you’re a moron to write it off so flippantly bc you clearly don’t get it #death of the author but holy shit the blatant bad faith readings feels like deliberate misunderstanding #your criticisms don’t make sense they don’t even align with what’s on page you’re just rationalizing your negativity #if you find it so unappealing then fuck off #bc I do find it appealing and your rancid viewpoint is vomit inducing #from an enthusiast standpoint you sound stupid from an academic standpoint you’re just wrong #if this literature is so depraved and unpalatable for your modern tastes #go lick a tiktok and leave medieval literature out of it mkay? #end rant

[the-casbah-way]

it is getting so fucking hard continuously trying to find stuff online about how to NOT kill yourself because you can’t get top surgery and being met with a bunch of rich dudes who medically transitioned in their twenties and can afford private therapy telling you it’s going to be ok and to be honest it makes me feel ten times worse

#it’s so fucking frustrating because some of the time i don’t even want to die i just don’t have a choice #even if i just had someone i could talk it all through with who could help me figure out what the fuck to do #it’s so weird that like. ive told you that this is going to kill me ive told you i am going to kill myself if i can’t get this treatment #and it’s like so fucking what. the people that do care can’t do anything anyway probably. who cares #like good for you. you’ll just be another dead trans person like what are they supposed to say

[kingofsummer93]

I'm so glad you're back!!!!

Thank you love, I’m very excited to be back and writing again!

#you’ll never be rid of me #Lucien Vanserra will haunt me until I die #and probably in the afterlife as well #what a way to spend eternity

[bravevolunteer]

me listening to the deal and i’m your man

#i’d keep this to myself but the tweet is too good #she really said ‘i’m sorry i’m the one you love / no one will ever love me like you again / #so when you leave me i should die / i deserve it don’t i’ “and expected me to be normal about it #tragedy enjoyers when the tragedy in their head actually goes tragically :(((( #‘your pain is eased but you’ll never be free for now i’m taken the night has me…’ #had to pause my work to go insane my bad #which. i will probably be doing that all day H. why is this already happening #⁂ ･ﾟ: i was looking for a job‚ and then i found a job‚ and heaven knows i’m miserable now ➛ ooc

[thetrashiestbaby]

Ppl my age have their first college/university classes today and my brain just thinks that’s insane bc 1. All my friends are kinda dumb and I’m worried they’ll die and 2. No one my age can properly take care of themselves, so I’m worried they’re all gonna fucking die

#if you have your first day of college/university today plz don’t die #good luck you’ll probably do great #but plz don’t die #I refuse to believe that 18-19 year olds should be forced to make decisions that will affect their whole life

[calenhads]

i would love to write more fics unfortunately i write with the sensibilities of a repressed catholic. like good lord there’s penice in there

#meaghan talks #like i would LOVE to write a continuation of my latest piece where catalina gets that bath #but anders would invariably be there as well and because they are who they are it would devolve rapidly #and i can’t be there for that! that’s none of my business what they get up to in their free time #also because my younger sibling follows me on here and the idea of them reading that is so mortifying #yes they’re 19 however i would die. i would die immediately and painfully #(hi kells btw) #so anyways! maybe you’ll get that continuation but probably not. it’s scary in there

[pitch-park]

christophe chew necklace ?!?!!?!?!??!!?

He multi-tasks /j

#my silly guy #seriously tho don’t do this you’ll probably die or smnth idk #I’m finally actually drawing the requests #south park #christophe delorne #ze mole #my art tag

[afklancelot]

tbh the house would’ve probably made a good but unorthodox tool for therapy

#house of leaves #yeah theres a possibility you’ll die/get permanently disfigured/traumatized by new things #but your old problems would probably be resolved! #i mean look at the Navidson family

[ghostbeam]

barista keigo letting you try this new recipe he made and you unknowingly drinking from the same spot that he did and now he's going insane over the fact that you guys have now shared an indirect kiss

NO CAUSE HE’S SUCH A DORK LIKE THAT!!!!! Literally watching u touch ur lips to the cup like😳and when u ask if he’s okay he’s stuttering and shit aksjdkdjdkdk if he’s that flustered over an indirect kiss how would he react to a real one!!!

#I will tell u how!!! he’d probably overthink everything leading up to it first of all #the date he takes u on the restaurant u go to the movie u see #the whole time worried that u hate everything #even tho ur clearly having the time of ur life #and then at the end when he takes u home and he knows like. the time has come!!!!!! he’s freaking the fuck out #but kei has always struck me as someone who like externally seems very calm and cool despite being a huge mess on the inside #so when he walks u to ur door and takes a step towards u #his brain is screaming at him and his heart is beating out of his chest #but because he’s him and because he has to kiss u right now or he’ll die #he raises a shaky hand to ur cheek and keeps the other at ur waist #and presses his lips to yours #and all that nervousness just. disappears #he is completely relaxed while kissing u his shoulders drop and everything #and then after he’s like oh god what did I just do #but it’s fine cause you’ll probably pull him close to kiss him again #and yes he will taste like espresso<3 #wow me writing a full headcanon in the tags #sorry anon for going off ajshdkdjdkd #but u inspired me!!!!!!!! #he is very cute loves him<3333 #ask

[aeide-thea]

the problem with having semi-fixed my sleep schedule is that now there’s all this day i hear i’m supposed to do things with???

#the learned helplessness is SO bad i’m just like. sitting here blankly #it’s a LOVELY blue and green and breezy day #76 going up to 78 #probably i should go on a bikeventure but the prospect sounds so exhausting lol #even though realistically the nice thing abt biking is like. if you get tired yr already sitting down #anyway usually i try 2 draw a bit of a veil over my total hideous uselessness #but i think like. if i can’t even admit to it anonymously on a site full of other strugglers how am i ever supposed to face or tackle it #and if you guys think poorly of me for it‚ well‚ it’s not like you’ll think anything more cutting than i’ve already thought abt myself #actually probs what i SHOULD do is finish changing over the tires on my bike #i got gatorskins last summer and swapped out one and then didn’t do the other‚ lol #and i’m pretty sure the remaining bontrager tire is like. FULLY punctured in spots at this point #could also stand to clean and relube my bike chain… might just cheat and use the combo product again lol #probs none of this would actually even take THAT long but i keep putting it off out of laziness #anyway am currently supervising feline yard exploration but like. could in theory multitask #slash eventually she WILL want to go in for lunch #but yeah tl;dr having even yr most harmless impulses hypercorrected from childhood on… #WILL eventually mean you stop trying to direct yr own life‚ or even being in touch with yr own impulses #you heard it here very not first #and when eventually the ppl controlling you either die or run out of preconceived hoops to chivvy you thru… you’re just. there. drifting #🍃