#you will get wasted in One post. they just cant resist~

[ddejavvu]

anakin being so pussy drunk that he cant sleep bc he didn’t fuck you at least once that day but you’ve already gone to sleep. he can’t help himself seeing you all so pretty and peaceful sound asleep that he doesn’t even bother to wake you up just sinks his cock in without a second thought.

does anyone know where to get a wet floor sign cause i gushed

obvious cw for somnophilia, very quick and fleeting mention of anal (no actual activity), don't like don't read.

this post is 18+, minors dni.

His cock is already hard from the moment he steps through the door- perhaps if he hadn't spent the elevator ride thinking about sinking it into your wet, warm cunt, he wouldn't be so inconvenienced.

But it's hard, and aching, and only getting worse, so he sheds his Jedi garb as quickly as humanly possible. A belt here, a tunic there, boots sloppily discarded by the door. By the time he gets to your bedroom he's wearing only an undershirt and briefs, but he disposes of the thin cotton shirt in the doorway.

You're sleeping. Illuminated gorgeously by the two of four moons that are visible from Coruscant's surface. They spill a pale halo of light around your sleeping form that catches on your sleek satin gown, pools deliciously in the space just beneath your thighs where the chub of your ass takes over and- Anakin's even stiffer.

It's a gift from whatever god Anakin unconsciously believes in. Whether it's a local legend from his days on Tatooine, or the will of the Force, some higher power has shed ethereal light on your body, and Anakin feels called to indulge in its divine gift.

You're laid out on your stomach with one knee tucked up to your side, and an arm thrown beneath your ribs to offset the heft of your breasts. You complain about pain when you lie on your stomach for too long- Anakin's surprised that you're sleeping like this. But he is not complaining, not when it offers him a perfect view of the gentle curve of your mound that rests between your thighs, parted to offer your leg enough room to bend the way that it does.

His cock begs for your pussy, tearing and ripping and struggling against the fabric of his briefs, and when he yanks them down his thighs his cock springs so tightly that it hits his stomach, leaving a sticky smear there.

No matter - things will get messier.

Anakin can't spot a wet stain on the pad of your panties, but it's no matter. He can supplement until your body catches up. He retrieves a bottle of lube from your bedside drawer- almost empty, seriously, do you guys fuck that much? -and pools some on his palm, stroking his dick with it so that it smears over his length.

He has to be careful not to work himself up too much with his own hand- no self-achieved orgasm will ever be as good as what he'll experience in your cunt.

His dick is properly slicked now, but he squirts a generous stream of the stuff onto your cunt once he pulls back your panties, unable to resist the urge to spread it through the split of your ass.

That's not the hole he's going for tonight, but he's never been able to keep his hands to himself.

Hands braced on either side of your body- one slick with lube - he leans his weight on the mattress, and draws his wet hand back to his cock. He needs no help after the initial guidance of the first thrust, and once he's gently pushed his cock through your artificially slickened entrance, he huffs out a sigh that blows hot against your back. The slip you're wearing is low-cut enough that the heat hits your bare skin, and he's not sure if it's the penetration or the sudden gust of air that makes you shiver.

You let out a strangled moan- something between surprised and pleasure, and Anakin is relived to feel his cock sliding smoothly through your cunt. You nag him about wasting lube; he's a very generous pour, but if it means you're feeling pleasure and not discomfort, he'll empty the whole bottle.

He dips down to kiss your cheek, his broad shoulders flexed against his muscled back- not that you're awake to enjoy it.

"Shh, s'okay angel," He groans, drawing in a shaky breath as he drags his hips backwards, pushing in once more to the heat of your cunt, "It's- it's okay, I just- agh, I need this. Just- let me have this, angel, let me- let me take it."

#anakin skywalker x reader #anakin skywalker imagine #anakin skywalker scenario #anakin skywalker oneshot #anakin skywalker one-shot #anakin skywalker one shot #anakin skywalker headcanon #anakin skywalker headcanons #anakin skywalker hcs #anakin skywalker hc #anakin skywalker fanfiction #anakin skywalker fanfic #anakin skywalker fic #anakin skywalker blurb #anakin skywalker drabble #anakin skywalker dialogue #anakin skywalker fluff #anakin skywalker smut

[headcanons-n-shit]

Hello

Your newest post reminded me i had an idea. The bois comforting wol who is having a nervous brakedown from all the stress. Bonus Ardbert.

I really like your stories. Especially the angsty ones.

(TAZ The Breakdown plays in the background)

(Mild shadowbringers spoilers)

Thancred literally (accidentally but still) disassociated so hard from the stress that he gave up his body to the bad guy for a bit. If anyone gets what youre going through, its probably going to be him. Hes not going to waste his time on empty platitudes: hes going to get you a glass of water, a warm blanket, and a hot meal, and let you cry it out on his shoulder for as long as you need to.

(And if that still doesnt help, well. Sex is still on the table. Its rarely a good idea, but hes all out of those.)

Urianger is probably breaking down with you lets be real. Every future my mans has ever read has included world-ending catastrophe, and, sure, youve thwarted it every time (usually with his help) but. What if this time you dont? What if this time you fail???? Its an unreasonable amount of stress for one man to be carrying. He probably does a fantastic amount of fantasy weed to cope and still all it takes is seeing you break down for him to also start blubber-crying.

Graha seems kind of detached and distant at first. "Shower water food" he commands you, in the voice of Lynas grandfather the Crystal Exarch, firm and uncompromising and impossible to disobey, and you might miss the way his voice and smile are strained. The way his hands clench and unclench at his sides. Hes never regretted turning back time to help you save two worlds, but. Its times like this that he wonders if he shouldnt try again to give you a happier ending.

Estinien is a firm hand on your shoulder, a steady shoulder to lean on, because he gets it. The feeling of being trapped in your own body, puppetted by powers so much greater than you can imagine, almost greater than you can comprehend... Youre breaking down for the both of you, honestly, because hes spent so long training the iron discipline to resist nidhoggs influence that he doesnt know how to anymore. This is. Cathartic. For the both of you tbh.

Aymeric wishes in this moment, more than anything, that he could just. Just be with you. Out on your journeys, giving you support by your side instead of from a distance. And he knows, he knows, that the support he gives you is important, that his ability to move nations in your favor has helped far more than any single sword at your side ever would. But he bears the weight of a nation while you bear the weight of a star, and that just. Doesnt seem fair to him.

Haurchefant knows that theres some things that hot chocolate cant fix but. Its a good starting place if nothing else. Something warm and sweet right now couldnt hurt, neither would a soft blanket and a roaring fire. He'll sit with you, bundled up together, and just listen if thats what you need. Or he can talk-- he has plenty of embarrassing stories about Artoirel that he hasnt shared yet. Either way, he'll happily help you wipe your tears away when youre done, and then drop a delicate kiss on your forehead.

Stand tall, he says. A smile better suits a hero.

Sidurgu is surprisingly good at this. Or, maybe not so surprising? Rielle is very mature for her age, but shes still a child. He probably does this whole song and dance every other week. And you feel a little bit like a child, the way he bullies you into the shower and then bundles you up in blankets and pushes food at you, but. Beneath the gruff words and scowl you can tell hes worried. Frustrated. This is exactly the kind of injustice that as a dark knight he swore he would fight, but hes just one man, there isnt much he can do about the desolation of the star. But he also needs you to know that he'll always be in your corner. Whether in this little way or if you need him to help you kill a god, he'll always come when you call.

BONUS

Ardbert has never felt so helpless in his life. He cant touch you, cant be a shoulder you can cry on. He cant even fetch you a glass of water. All he can do is stand there and watch as you break apart in your bed in the Pendants, and its. Its torture, worse than anything any ascian could ever conceive.

Still. He does what he can. And if all he can do is sit at your bedside, his hand hovering half-through yours in a mockery of touch while he tells you stories of his adventures, or friendship and triumph and happier times, well. Its the least he can do.

#ff14 #ff14 headcanons #thancred waters #wolcred #urianger augurelt #wolianger #graha tia #grahawol #estinien varlineau #estinien wyrmblood #wolstinien #aymeric de borel #wolmeric #haurchefant greystone #haurchewol #sidurgu orl #sidwol #ff14 ardbert #wolbert

[softesttangerines]

Shanks and mihawk frequent the same gym. It's mostly a boxing club/gym kinda. And really, it was Shanks' gym first, he's been going here since forever. He met Ben, the owner, during college days. They were decent mates and when he moved back to the city and was looking for the local gym, Ben offered him a free trial in his boxing club and that's how he started doing box as a stress relief instead of just your regular gym activities.

He's become quite the name in the gym. For a hobby, he was quite good at it and people from other clubs came to challenge him sometimes and check what's the fuss about. It was safe to say he lived up to the hype.

So really, post work activities were greatly stress relieving. That is untill the new guy came in.

He usually got to know all the new faces even tho he had a specific time where he visited the club. He usually goes in straight after work, so let's say from 6pm to 8pm? (Or something along those lines) so usually newbies, even with different gym time, made sure to visit at least a couple of times during his visiting time just out of curiosity towards red head shanks everyone speaks about, and usually, everyone ends up satisfied even if they get their ass kicked by him, he was just so friendly that you cant resist him even if he hands you your ass back on a platter.

So when he hears about the new arrival that's quite as good as him at kicking ass and he hasn't met him even tho he's been hearing about him for a month now, he's intrigued and miffed. He's not egotistical to the point of being bitter that this new guy didnt visit during shanks' gym time like everyone else, but he couldn't help but take it as a challenge.

So shanks, for once, changes his gym schedule and goes at 9pm (not that he annoyed ben to tell him what time the new guy is around usually..) When he goes in, it's a happy surprise, everyone's going "hey red!" And "What's up man?" And "let's go for a round, red!" And he feels as happy as a king liked by his people which is silly, he reminds himself he's no king, the boxing club is not his kingdom, these are not his people and he's so not here to prove himself as the true boss of the gym, he's just here out of mere curiosity.

So really, he didnt know what to expect but the man in the ring with piercing yellow eyes and dark furrowed brows, skin so pale that the dark moles mapped on it looked like constellation, and curly fluffy hair held in some sort of tiny ponytail with some wild strands sticking to his sweaty forehead just took his breath away as he landed his opponent on his ass with a swift punch.

Ben, who appeared out of nowhere next to him, snorts at his friend's startruck expression and shanks' annoyed because "you didnt tell me he's a pretty boy, ben!!!" And ben's like that's hardly a boy, that's a full grown man in his 40's and shanks' interest is piqued. So it turns out, ben knows the guy, his name is mihawk and he's new around, recently moved in for a job.

Mihawk was an upcoming icon in the ballet world from his teens to his late twenties. The reason he stopped is due to a career ending injury. He was such a big name in the industry tho, his talent couldn't go to waste so he received multiple invites to teach at prestigious schools which he accepted, but at some point in his career ballet instructor, he got tired of the drama and pressure that comes from big named schools, he decided to settle in a smaller caliber establishment instead.

The reason ben knows all this is because his daughter goes to the ballet school mihawk works at, and while getting to know the man and his interests, he invited him to check the club out. To his surprise, the man ended up being great and making up quite the stir among the regulars. He was so sure it would tickle shanks one way or another and he was right.

Shanks is completely amazed that this guy in front of him is actually not a professional boxer and instead a fucking ballerina. Like this man dances in tights for a living instead of punching people in shorts like he's doing right now. Shanks is literally having a whiplash and dont know which is hotter, all he knows is that the guy is fucking hot and he wants to both fight him and get in his pants!

So he enters the ring after mihawk's opponent leaves, and with the intention of being charming and full of rizz, he opens his mouth, except he's still under the whiplash effect so instead of saying smthn normal, his brain to mouth filter disappears and says "I bet you look hotter punching that guy while wearing your pink tutu" (you can totally hear ben facepalming) and mihawk snaps his head at him, one eye twitching then a scowl takes over his face right away and he goes "if you come up here, I'll show you just what i can do in a pink tutu." (Mihawk meant it in a threatening way, shanks got that but it still didn't stop him from popping a boner right there.)

+

Mihawk has been frequenting this boxing club for a month now after one of his students' parent suggested it and he's been liking it just fine. People dont engage with him unless it's for a match (probably because they tried to talk to him and barely got anything more than grunts back as an answer, so they just assume he's not the most social of lads out there) and even though there's no worthy opponent of his time, he still finds it decent. Untill this red haired jerk appeared out of nowhere, having the audacity to mock his career? How dare he? What does he mean by pink tutu? Mihawk is a fucking male ballet dancer, he wears fucking tights not tutus! He's genuinely offended at this knobhead who's looking at him weirdly (shanks is NOT drooling.)

++

Mihawk totally intended to kick his ass but the guy is just so good? The best from this place and the best he's had in a while, really. Sooooo, the guy's offensive comment aside, he did enjoy their match tho he wont rest untill he beats him.

+++

Shanks is all happy at the notion of a next time being there, also he's both scared and horny because he barely escaped. The guy was obviously going for his blood! As much as mr.boxer/ballerina is hot, he aint about let his ass get kicked by a pretty boy (lowkey he's trynna impress him by showing he's better and lowkey it's working because each time mihawk is actually more impressed and the more the guy impresses him, the more mihawk is like "wait, that's hot?", conclusion? Show mihawk you can bench him and your chances of actually benching him increase.)

++++

bonus:

Shanks is a horny mf and has this whole fantasy going on about ballerino mihawk in tights (not a fucking tutu) and one evening he annoyed mihawk enough to be invited to the dance studio

for the full experience on, mihawk actually wore his dancing attire, which totally didnt have shanks foaming at the mouth lol

tho all that was forgotten when mihawk danced turned a piece on and danced to it, all graceful and elegant and strong

and shanks was just transfixed, mouth hanging open, like this man putting on a show only for him is magnificent

he's freaking gorgeous and he's giving shanks the honor to see him in his element even tho he no longer dances professionally

and mihawk loves the attention on him it's been so long since he's been on a stage but here in a closed studio

with only shanks as a public, he's never felt more appreciated for the art he makes

they fuck in the dance studio after that lmao

also they fuck in the gym as well and ben is considering kicking them out because he did NOT sign up for his establishment to be defiled this way

everyone at the gym is just annoyed atp at first. it was fun seeing the rivalry between two strong men and everyone had a side

but two months in and their matches were filled with overbearing sexual tension people stopped watching them

boooooo, nobody wants to see two men wrestle half naked as an alternative for sex cz they were two stubborn to do smthn bout it

or worse! they were into some kinky public roleplay typa shit oof!

#mishanks #this is about it lol #i had a tiny plan for zoro and luffy to be involved but i'm too tired maybe next time lol #one piece #opla #mihawk #shanks #dracule mihawk #akagami no shanks

[levmada]

mmm rant about how much i despise my brit lit professor (because 2 posts wasn’t enough i guess)

-like i’ve said, just to give u an idea of what he’s like and because i’m lame, he’s like if eren and floch’s personalities combined but with extra intelligence

- on the FIRST day of class he ranted about how much he HATES cats. and sort of gave a weird example about how dumb and useless cats are??? alright KEEP your opinion but KEEP your ugly yapping out of my ears

i rly don’t care if someone doesn’t like cats. but to proclaim loudly and proudly how much you hate them is a big red flag idc

- i’m uncomfortable every single class because of how sexual his lectures are. i mean it’s INSANELY uncomfortable. sexual themes or sex in a literary work is one thing but he gets into the details at length and it’s just…

- the type of guy who would say facts don’t care about your feelings and he’s defending nationalism or something equally as objectively Bad

- for maybe 2 seconds it looks like there’s a guiding light of grace when he talks about procreation not being inherently sexual and how it’s beautiful - only to follow up with really weird tangents with really gross implications.

like the time he implied that he envies crusty old men of the past who could buy girl child brides ????

- this condescending asshole

he reminds me of those jock type high school boys who always played “devil’s advocate” in history class. simply CANT resist talking down to us as a class any chance he gets, including and especially in the directions to assignments and the fucking SYLLABUS

- this would be a long explanation if i drag it out, but long story short this guy’s class is as far across campus as it gets from my previous class. it’ll take me 15min at LEAST to get there, and there’s only 10min between each class

will he tolerate being 5minutes late because of these circumstances? NO. and it’s disrespectful if you even THINK about it

- the emotional intelligence of the bloody rock cain killed abel with honestly

- normally i appreciate unconventional crass professors who are casual in class. but it’s like i’m being rambled at for over an hour by a 14 year old hick on viagra who happens to have a phd.

- i’ve also talked about this, but has absolutely no respect or regard for any student in his class or their potential disabilities or life struggles and circumstances. just assumes you’re on the exact same page as him and will blindly get on your knees and lick his shoes as long as he (1) condescendingly explains that it’s intellectually appropriate and (2) after giving a 40 minutes lecture about shoe licking with softcore pron sprinkled throughout

- specifically, he made a brief mention how for next class, he “probably won’t be there”. next class was four days later. no email reminder. he expected you to remember - which is hard for me as someone with diagnoses that make me suffer from bad memory retention and memory loss. obviously i didn’t remember (as well as some others).

that next class: he wasted 15 minutes of class gloating about his motorcycle and didn’t take attendance. and for THIS guy, it was on purpose.

- i hate him

- if you want to feel just as bad about yourself as you in your darkest moments do, just ace one of his tests.

#idk how to tw this so if i should lmk :/ #i’m just soooo mad #i’d say i’ve never had a worse professor but EVEN AT THIS UNI i’d be LYING #BYE. #krant

[arethereanyoriginalusernames]

The Witch of Wax

Dear —,

In our most recent session, you advised I write down everything I experience. I suppose you’re right. Given how I plan to move forward with my memories.

I thought you might enjoy this one, given your expertise in how people function, as it were. As you know, you and I are blessed with powerful abilities. Many have what they’d consider “mundane” power…

I’ll cut to the chase, power corrupts. It doesn’t feel impressive to say that, but… then I recall the case of Marilynn Wychitt.

The Witch of Hallow Cove.

Wychitt was an average woman. Had a husband, children, grandchildren. Her power was the ability to resist the effects of melting candle wax. Mundane ability, mundane life…

Then years pass. And pass. And pass. And Whychitt’s family begun to disappear… one, two, three, six, twelve… over twenty people, gone just like that.

There’s stories, stories of a woman, no, a creature, dwelling in the caves outside the town. A being with a monstrous form resembling a melted candle of all things!

I went into those caves… Maybe it should have been no surprise what I found. A skeleton. Then another. And another. One, two, three, six, twelve… over twenty.

But in the state they were in, I could hardly consider them separate beings. All of them, some adults, some even still children. Melted into a twisted, artistic wax sculpture of agony and death.

And I thank the gods for my escape, as I can only imagine that I would have become… an addition to this twisted museum of depravity.

I have no idea how she went mad. Nobody does. Perhaps nobody will. But I have ideas… Do you suppose she sought eternal life? Art is interpretive, and as horrid as what I found was… it was still art. And… what I took from it was a desire to hold on. To never let go of what might have been a perfect life…

—- do you think we could also…

Become mad in such a way, with powers like ours?

Pardon for my ramblings,

Chronos

————————-

Art, writing and characters made by me

Explanation under cut

So, what is this?

I realize not a ton of people really care about my own creations and characters, so if that’s the case, might as well choose the chaotic route and post whatever, am I right?

Anyways, as an excuse to practice lore building and whatnot, I’ve come up with a series of short stories from the perspective of time manipulating telekinetic, Chronos Cendrillon.

As will probably be explained in later stories, Chronos writes down everything that happens to him, as he expects to forget it later.

Why? And… who is he writing to?

Maybe that might get explained in later stories.

Which I will post. Bc hey if nobody really cares apart from 2 people, you know what that means? I can post whatever I want! CANT STOP ME NOW BITCHES!

…. Although seriously, any feedback, likes or reblogs would be nice so I can tell if I’m doing even a half ways decent job?

I apologize for wasting your time

- Spooky

[papers4me]

Fruits Basket Manga Review , ch 109

-The Tragedy of a an episodic format attempting to connect narrative in a series: (Tohru’s Background or Kyo’s Focus?)

One of my issues with se03, ep6 (other than it being 3 chapters combined horribly with new material added for shock value) is that it was weakly undecided who would be the focus? who would the narrative follow?: Is it tohru’s own pov abt herself? is it the gramps giving boring exposition abt tohru over weak still images of flashbacks or is kyo thinking abt tohru’s pain?

The truth is, it was all the above in the manga, but the manga gave each a chapter focus so that the chapter is well-directed with focused narrative. The anime weakly jumbled the 3 chapters together as they always do. You mix chapters & tada~ you got an ep, you only need a broad weak theme that connects the dots! here: it is tohru! & that’s it. As long as the 3 chapters discuss tohru in any form & manner, nothing will seem off if we put them next to each other in a 20 minute ep! right? riiiiiight ????

.. this was never a correct way. Just like a chapter needed a narrative direction, the ep is the same!!

ch 107: The beginning of tohru’s pov on her realization abt loving kyo.

ch108: tohru’s full pov of shock upon reaching the conclusion that she loves him & the beginning of her mom’s issues & abandonment.

ch109: Kyo’s pov abt tohru’s pain & his involvement, guil & the sheet hug.

ch110: (completely cut from the anime!!!!!!!!!!!!!) Kyoru’s part: the aftermath of kyo & tohru crossing the line of being in the most vulnerable & intimate, building towards a more crushing impact of the climax. The stronger & more painful their love is, the more it will hurt. Also a yuchi buildup?!!!!

-so, you see each chapter has a direction i& a narrative it follows independently that is weaved together to make a connected tissue of the overall plot. The anime puts the 3 chapters next to each other & we are lost on who to follow? kyo or tohru or the gramps. That’s why it feels tohru is weak & her two chapters worth of pov is stolen from her cuz it cut or shortened to include the grandpa, kyo, isuzu, shigure & let’s not forget (kazuma, yuki & haru) at the beginning, the dramatic shock value addition & OP & ED. All these take valuable screen time. The ep shocks us by moving from tohru to kyo. One minute she’s crying with him on the streets, next he’s at the grave & she’s visiting isuzu.

Kyo said he isn't going to the grave in the ep, upon seeing him actually going, I just assumed he wanted to avoid, hana, cuz I’m so invested in his story that I remember sth happened in se1, ep 14.. ages ago, The anime didn’t even allow kyo to inner talk abt avoiding hana... In their weird mind, kyo only inner talks in dramatic situations..See the difference!

Not only the writer (a) reminds us why kyo avoided the grave visit, she also (b) seized the opportunity to shine lifht onto an issue that will be the center of kyo’s struggles: Running away!

The anime introduce this in kyo’s pov only when kyo confronts tohru. Only when it was needed & couldnt be avoided. This is sth that will be the core of all the climax & the aftermath as well! Kyo running away.. How bad are you if you avoid inserting one line only that can be said in few seconds & establish great deal & foreshadow plenty!!!!!!!!!! I can’t for the life of my understand why short lines are cut from kyo when in the anime they have him be standing silent in the graveyard. Like slap the line above the silent scene!!!!! But doing so means the anime team understands tohru & kyo’s issues. They don’t. Not the slightest.

-Ep 6 signals the beginning of the anime moving from episodic format of se1, 2 & 5 eps of se3 & entering a connect plot. The anime doesn’t know how to do that & screwed tohru in the process. The protagonist’s main issues are one ep worth only. The antagonist main issues are one ep only (ep7).  Ep 6, was treated as a stand alone ep (minus the inserted shock scene to create a lingering issue that needs a following ep to explain. TOLD YOU they don’t know how to make a series!). Thus the following ep 7 is akito’s focus. Everything that was established in ep 6 was pit on hold until akito reaches the craziest mindset for the climax. See why ep 6 was so bad? it is Should NOT be a stand alone ep.

-The plot connects kyoru emotional & physically: (Kyo’s chapter with a tohru’s focus:

Unlike the anime, the chapter knows what it’s presenting 7 where it’s going. Kyo’s issues. This ch focuses on him uncovering parts of his past as it connects with tohru’s. Unlike the anime, we know why kyo's connection to kyoko’s past. The anime is hiding this for the climax, no problem, it can still work both ways. However, hiding kyoko /kyo connection doesn't necessarily mean hiding kyoko/tohru connection. But the anime is cutting this to milk it in an ova or series next year~ no problem,  it can still work if you handle this ep’s  flashback better. for all the artistic creativity they inserted in the added scene, they failed miserably in tohru’s flashback portion. how?

By choosing a frontal pov shot in tohru’s grandpa flashback as if the audience are the ones who abandoned tohru or opening the door to find her alone. it does NOT work at all. why? the audience are encouraged to be like tohru since ep 1 as tohru is the mother, angel, fixer & endearing hopeful girl. The audience will NEVER abandon tohru, that’s why tohru’s story felt disconnected & weak in the anime. Not knowing what kyoko did, who would abandon such child?! differently not us. so why use the frontal pov shot? -_-’

-tohru confesses her pain to kyo without being ushered by isuzu, without any outside factor. She simply visited the grave & came home. hiding her pain. once again. like she always do. One question by kyo, prompts her to “ complain a little” call back to se1, ep5 as he advised. we see tohru get out of her shell little by little. NOT SCREAM OR SLAP. She opened up. why? cuz the story is abt “ opening the lid” not abt “ snatching the lid”. No need for shocks. Yuki opened his lide slowly, tohru even slower, kyo is resisting opening his altho it is cracking in this chapter. When your story focuses on character buildup it pays!

-I’ll give the anime credit when it due. The hug scene is so good both in manga & anime. but so awesome in animation, colors, music & voice acting. It’s breathtaking & painful. The most beautiful kyoru scene in the whole anime.

-It represents their mutual vulnerability, understanding, pain & determination to love the other but not also let go. kyo has made his mind to be locked in order not to hurt tohru & tohru has made her mind that she can’t let go of her mom.

You see, the scene’s meaning hits different between manga & anime; In the anime: tohru has already challenged the sohmas & screamed to be with kyo, while kyo is still decided to leave her. In the manga: they’re both at the same spot (undecided). I like both interpretations but I’ll choose the manga’s version. Simply cuz it means tohru is still uncovering her issues which means more focus on her, & more explanation of why cant tohru love her mom & kyo at the same time.

-This expression on tohru’s face is a the complete opposite of the shock value expression in ep 6! T_T. I do’nt even hate the shocked scene addition itself that much, I just think (a) this is NOT its time! Tohru deserved better spotlight! (b) kyo didn’t friggen forget! ah! THIS I HATE! (c) the whole shocked scene was so wasted in ep 7. tohru return to her stupid dumb lalala~ land, cooking & forgetting kyo. what growth? what determination & screams to isuzu? what enduring kagura’s slaps? nope! just happy & cooking, lalala~ no one was freaking over her mom’s picture~ lalala~ & kyo just slept it over~ shhhh... its okay. he’ll forget again... see? totally wasted!

The anime knows nothing abt connected narrative! augh!

Side Notes:

We see kyo asking the gramps why he’s offering him info abt tohru which is so logical! XD. I love it.

I’ve read ch 110 & wanted to insert the kyoru scene in ch 110 here, & put yuchi alone in a different post, then I realized I’ll need to talk abt it again once I analyze yuki’s own expressions! XD. so, I’ll put all ch 110 together in one post. It kinda half written by now, so I’ll publish it very soon in two days time. I didn’t read ch 111 yet tho.

I hope ch 110 is the last I feel this much disappointments in furuba’s anime & by ch 11, it hopefully be be minor changes altho I doubt that cuz the manga needed to dwell into tohru’s mindset & the anime kinda stopped after ep 6. so, yup! more big changes coming!

The sheet hug is so brilliant in theory & application! so romantic & so endearing! love it so much! The anime did it so well, too!

I love kyo’s narration & pov cuz it’s so refreshing change from the anime where he rarely does!

I really wish they kept the kyoko abandoning tohru part in the anime... sigh~ it has nothing much to affect her story with katsuya. so it won’t ruin the spin off/ ova or whatever it’s called. 

I love the light focus on tohru in this chapter & how organic & natural it is opposed to how forced the plot seems in the anime....

#Anime Only #manga spoilers #Fruits Basket #fruits basket manga #disappointed paper

[maccreadysimp]

breaking down this anti-ian article bc it bothers me ( from the child of a bipolar mother and a male teen with same sex attraction ) while also providing valid reasons ian sucks ( from someone who likes ian )

ive had this drafted for a while so i dont think i cover anything from season 11

tw for i^cest and r^pe

he was with a married man

in this point it points out that he was with kash and he continued his relationship with kash even after linda put cameras in the store

“Ian didn't seem to care about how wrong his affair with Kash was or how much it could hurt Kash's wife Linda, whom he saw at the store regularly. “

that is a quote from that part.

ian gallagher was fifteen in season one, kash was an older man who bought him gifts and payed attention to ian ,, that was not on ian , none of that was ian fault because he was a child

ian wasnt open with lip

“ Ian didn't tell Lip about his preferences and forced Lip to figure it out on his own. Lip was instantly accepting of his brother's truth and even offered to help him figure out any confusion he might be harboring, so it's really strange that Ian wasn't just upfront with his closest confidant from the start.”

no , lip wasnt forced to figure it out on his own and he also wasn’t instantly accepting.

in this point it mentions that ‘they’re extremely close ( bestfriends and brothers ) so its strange ian didnt tell him’

like point 1 , ian is a fifteen year old boy, growing up on the southside , and thoughout the show it has mentioned multiple times that the southside isnt that accepting

back to lip -- lip wasnt accepting, sure he was fine but ‘helping your younger brother figure it out’ by having a (female) classmate give him a blowjob isnt helping

he secretly dated his best friends brother

“Most friends have an unspoken rule about not dating each other's siblings, but Ian broke this rule by secretly entering into a relationship with Mandy's closeted brother Mickey.”

the only thing i have to say about this is , he was still with kash and mickey was a boy in his age group who was gay , growing up in the southside ian probably thought he was the token gay so of course hes going to chase after mickey

he stood by as kash attacked mickey

“Ian didn't do anything to stop Kash from shooting his new lover, and didn't even tell the police about his boss' over-the-top display of jealous action so proper justice could be served.”

okay. because two men he had fallen for had gotten into a fight, there was a gun involved and he panicked, in the end after mickey got shot he went to him

now to address the quote, he didnt say anything to the police because he probably knew that that would bring shame onto kash and his family, along with mickey and his family who are very homophobic

oh yeah and it was like 2011 and cops suck and THEY LIVE ON THE SOUTHSIDE

he and lip tried framing terry milkovich

oh the homophobic and racist dad of his boyfriend and bestfriend who tried to kill him and r*ped his daughter ?

yeah , shit man , that was real bad they shouldn’t have done that /s

he dated jimmy-steves married father

“Ian didn't bother telling Jimmy the truth about his father and didn't end his relationship with Lloyd upon finding out that he had a secret wife and family, either.”

at this point ian is probably sixteen but that doesnt matter bc i wont even address that

he met him at a club and then used his relationship with ned to make mickey jealous which was one of the reasons he kept seeing him, he didnt tell jimmy-steve about the relationship or his father bc he shouldnt find out from him he should find out from his father , again like kash, ned was an older man who payed attention to ian and ned later did develop feelings feelings for ian

he stole lips identity to enlist in the army

he enlisted because he didnt know what to do with himself, its implied/stated that the army timeline was the start of his bipolar

“While impersonating Lip, Ian had tried to steal a helicopter and then proceeded to go AWOL.”

this is because of the bipolar he suffers from, it is referenced later in the series after he gets back and hes manic

ian refused to accept being bipolar

of course he didnt accept it, it is made very clear that his family thinks lowly of monica so of course if hes the lucky duck to get what his siblings demonize her for, of course he’ll not want to be it

“He refused to take medications that could alter his personality or mood.”

okay. this is why im making this whole post, this goes along with part 15 ( or so idk ) ,,

my mother , my dear mother, who is bipolar and doesnt take her meds because they are mood altering , my mom doesnt take med because she told me once that they make her feel like shit, she told me that a little after i was born she started taking them but realized she felt nothing, she felt nothing for my dad or for i ( making her numb )

she told me anti deppresents dont help either because when shes on them and manic it pushes her past productive and into angry

my dad told me that when my mom was on bi polar medication she would seem angry most of the time

he wasnt faitful to mickey

“Ian's bipolar disorder made him very reckless and impulsive and led him to be unfaithful.”

lets break that down.

ians. bipolar. disorder.

this plot point i actually didnt like, mainly bc ian never addresses it so ill give the article a point. but then i take away 2 because they have more of a problem with his bipolar messing with him rather than the fact he never apologized and they never worked it out

ian stole yevgeny

before i start quoting i should mention because his boyfriend, who has supported and helped him is suddenly telling him he needs help, he was helping raise yev so he’ll see yev as his own

“Ian failed to recognize just how crazy he was acting...”

cuting you off right there , he was in a bipolar state, he wasnt ‘crazy’ and isnt ‘crazy’

he cant even keep count of his number of partners

just slutshaming i see

he helped throw frank off a bridge

“His relationship with Frank was understandably never the same after that, as Frank struggled to get over this act of betrayal and cruelty.”

‘was never the same after that’ frank never liked ian, ian was probably his least favorite and that point is very apparent

also , it wasnt just ian , his siblings and his boyfriend caleb

he left a healthy relationship to be with mickey

he fell in love with mickey at 15 , mickey was a comfort and always someone to fall back on, when mickey was taken away and no longer in the picture his heart still obviously was with mickey and when mickey came back he didnt know what to do

he told mickey he had a boyfriend but because mickey has been such a constant in his life he finally has back of course he couldnt resist

he liked trevor, i could tell he did but trevor wasnt the one he watched get r^ped by a russian prostitute, he wasnt the one ian was secretly dating bc it would be a death wish other wise, he wasnt the one there when ian was manic or depressive ( at the start )

he tried blackmailing an old client for money

“Instead of raising the money in an honest manner, Ian chose to visit an old client from his time working at the Fairy Tail and blackmail him into funding the shelter.”

because he felt indebted to trevor and wanted to make it up to him, it would have taken longer to do it in ‘an honest manner’ when his sister would have gotten it instead, he knew how much gay youths like he once was needed a safe place

“He grew up wanting to be nothing like his father, but this whole money-making scheme was straight out of the Frank playbook”

because thats all he knows, he grew up with that ‘playbook’ so of course hes going to take a page out of it, he is nothing like frank , franks money making schemes are selfish and for his own greed while ian wanted the money to help build a safe space for lgbt youth

he let fame inflate his ego

of course he did, hes a southside kid who was destined to fail

also it is very apparent that during the gay jesus era he went off his medication which didnt help

“Before long, he just completely forgot about his ex and focused solely on being a deity”

as much as yes, he did let it mess with his head, he was trying to still help lgbt youth and was going against anti gay churchs , in the end it didnt work out for him because he was off his meds and went over board

he stopped taking his meds

see previous point and ‘ian refused to accept being bipolar’

he actually wanted to stay in prison

because he was doing good in there

ian was helping others and was spreading awareness about lgbt with in the prison , and as him and jail scenes go , we can see people were listening to him and he was trying to make it safe sane and consensual

he let down his army of followers

“Ian admitted that most of his actions were completely irrational and the mere results of his bipolar disorder.”

he didnt want to, we can see this, because he knew he would let down everyone, his family were the only ones to ever ground him and they knew it would be the best option for his own mental health

during the gallavich wedding we can see that a lot of his supporters still have his back because they must know how hard it was for him to put all of that success on something he can’t control

he constantly wasted his potential

this is actually the only point in this article i actually agree with , so only 1/20 i agree with

his relationship with mickey wasn’t actually great

“Mickey spent the first several years of their relationship denying his feelings for Ian.”

he was raised by a homophobic and racist father who he knew would react the way he did when terry had caught the two that one day

“Even after he finally embraced his true self, Ian's bipolar disorder kept them from becoming truly happy together.”

yes but mickey was there for him the entire time and helped him through it, he told him he loved him which was really big for him and did his best to care for him

“They couldn't seem to remain faithful to each other for more than a few weeks.”

back to the point about ians bipolar but for mickey he wanted monogamy , now that scene in s11 may say otherwise but it is very clear that he wants a monogamous relationship with ian and ian ( after getting help ) wants one too, and in the later seasons they are monogamous

“When Mickey asked Ian to run away to Mexico with him, Ian refused.”

he wanted to, it’s obvious, but ian has his family and didnt want to abandon them again, i think part of him knew he would see mickey again because they always find eachother, he gave mickey all of his money and wanted mickey to have a good life

“Their relationship was simply never healthy.”

no it wasnt, but thats why the ship is great in its own way, the gay closet kid raised by a homophobic man is obviously going to have a lot of baggage , and ian who is bipolar and struggling with himself will also have a lot of baggage , but in the end they love eachother and that really shows in season five and season seven specifically

that is all lol ,,, this is long sorry

now, i am not a ian apologist , i love ian but hes a dumbass sometimes

actual valid reasons ian sucks

genuinely believes frank is worse than terry

yes frank was definitely abusive but terry is definitely worse ,,

mentally/physically/sexually abusive , the whole nine yards

terry hired a prostitute to r^pe his son , threatened to kill him and ian on multiple occasions , r^ped his daughter who ended up pregnant and is actively racist

frank on the other hand will make gay jokes but in the end doesnt give enough of a shit , he has attacked his children on multiple occasions but not to the brutality that terry has ( this isnt me excusing it )

sorry ian , terry is worse

never apologized

he never apologized for all the shit he put mickey and his family through, never apologized to mickey for cheating on him , never apologized for all the manic and depressive episodes mickey endured with him

never apologized for walking away when he couldn’t handle it, in hall of shame mickey actually acknowledges this saying ‘its youre whole MO’

debbies sexuality

he has constantly made statements saying debbie isnt gay and that bothers me because , why does it care ? as a gay man and as a gay man who soent time with a lot of lgbt youth wouldnt he support his sister even if shes just ‘experimenting’?

in the recent season he doesnt seem to care and doesn’t say anything but it still bothers me

mickey only getting like 80% of his heart

okay look , i get what ian means when he says this , everyones hes been with has made him who he is but fucking hell dude ,, shut up , thats your husband , thats the love of your life you shouldnt be saying shit like that , especially to him

and then this man had the audacity to say mickey probably feels the same about past flings when he knows that ian is the only one hes probably ever been with/serious about

obviously there is probably more but those are the main ones that come to mind

—

before anyone brings up the trans or bi thing im going to explain my thought process for him

like ive probably mentioned multiple times he grew up southside and obviously only ever grew up with lgb and not t ,, trevor did inform him a lot and ian became supre accepting of everyone,, sexual preference isnt transphobic but i do think he approached the matter badly

now the bi thing , legit all i think is that he doesnt hate bisexual people its just that the man he really liked slept with a woman and never expressed any heterosexual attraction so it probably just suprised him and pissed him off because caleb did cheat on ian

—

if you read this far HOLY SHIT THANKS LOL ,, im not adding things that i think are pro about ian this was just me breaking down that article and giving my two cents :)

feel free to message me and talk to me or send me articles like this about any other character/relationship and i will totally break that one down too lol

thanks for letting me rant

#mine #shameless #ian gallgher #gallavich #mickey milkovich #text post

[mimosaeyes]

If things don’t work out and he loses Jon tomorrow, Martin wants to remember him happy.

Post-199. Jon and Martin reflect on what has and could have been. 1.4k

Thanks @emberidzae and @distortion-noodles for the quick beta!

As they emerge into the hallway, Georgie pokes her head out of what must be her and Melanie’s bedroom. “Blankets and such are down that way,” she says, pointing. “Help yourself, yeah?”

If Martin weren’t observing Jon so closely, he might have missed the way he jumps at the words. Jon recovers swiftly, though. “Right. Thanks, Georgie.”

Martin hasn’t yet closed the door behind them. He leans back into the room to relay the information to Basira, only to find her already nodding and waving him off without looking up. “I heard her.”

She’s leaning against the table they’d all stood around while arguing about the plan. In her hands are two flat metal discs on a chain. It takes Martin a moment to place where he’d last seen them: hanging around Daisy’s neck.

He was slipping too far into the Lonely at the time to really pay attention, but Martin did notice that the dog tags disappeared after Daisy swore to resist the Hunt. He’s always assumed she got rid of them, destroyed them in a bid to purge the memory of her work for Section 31 — and the less than legal things she did besides.

“Found them while tracking her,” Basira explains, clearly guessing his train of thought. “She stopped wearing them, but she still carried them around. As a reminder, you know? Until…”

Until she gave in to the Entity calling her name. Until she left her humanity behind to protect her friends.

Martin swallows past a sudden lump in his throat. “If you need to talk, Basira—”

“I’m good,” she cuts him off. “I’m managing.”

He knows it’s the truth; they’d had plenty of time to catch up at the base of the cliff while Jon was recording. So he nods and leaves it at that, saying only, “Come find us anyway, if you change your mind.”

Her expression softens even as her voice takes on a wry edge. “Go on,” she chivvies, “go be soppy with your boyfriend somewhere else.”

“Somewhere far away from you, you mean?”

Basira snaps her fingers. “Got it in one. Always knew you were the smart one.”

The bedding Georgie mentioned turns out to be a huge pile of unrolled sleeping bags and unfolded blankets. The sight is amusingly incongruous for the three seconds it takes Martin to realise that these used to belong to the cult members, who have since been dragged back to their domains.

Gingerly, he steps forward to take what they need. Jon helps, his face stony.

They duck into the first empty room they come across and lay down enough padding to save their backs from the hard floor. Martin fusses with the makeshift bed while Jon stands and starts pacing.

Everything in Martin is saying to go to him and wrap him up in another hug, make up for the one Jon had pulled out of while his hands were still shaking and his cheeks still wet with tears. But he watches the tense lines of his body and thinks that Jon would only flinch away from comfort if he offered it again. So he sits down, leaving some space for Jon to join him when he’s ready, and waits.

It takes several minutes for Jon to look up at him. When he does, he bites his lip and says, “I’m sorry. It’s already been decided, I know, and I’m sick of rehashing the same old arguments with you.”

Martin lets out a short exhale. “I know. If the plan doesn’t work — I don’t want to spend our last hours together fighting.”

Jon blanches a little. “Hours,” he repeats softly, starting to shake his head. “I wish we had more time.”

“You don’t mean, uh… put it off, do you?” Martin doesn’t think he does, but it’s worth clarifying.

“What? Oh, no. Of course not.”

The huff of laughter that accompanies Jon’s words is gratifying. Martin decides to lean into it. “Because that would be a truly record-breaking act of procrastination,” he points out.

Jon smiles lopsidedly. “Speak for yourself. You haven’t seen me try to start writing an essay in university.”

“Fair enough,” Martin concedes, smiling back at him.

After a moment, Jon sobers again. “I mean, maybe we wouldn’t have been together, if not for all this, but — if I had to do it all over again, I think I’d waste less time. I’d… I don’t know, I’d tell you I’d missed you while I was abroad. Maybe admit that there were a couple of times when I didn’t really need your help looking something up, but called you anyway, so I could hear your voice.”

Martin blinks, momentarily surprised. Then he crows, “I knew it! I knew there wasn’t really a place called Desert Bluffs. I looked for mentions of it in statements for days, and the whole time you were — ha, you were bluffing.”

Good-naturedly, Jon rolls his eyes. “Yes, yes, I’m terrible at coming up with fake names on the spot.”

“But that would mean…” Martin furrows his brow at Jon. “That was when you were in America. And you already…”

Jon has been gradually closing the distance between them as they’ve talked. Now he eases himself down next to Martin, as always favouring the leg Sasha had once dug a worm out of with a corkscrew, and says simply, “Yes. I already knew I loved you. Maybe I wasn’t in love with you, not yet, but… yes.”

Martin will never get used to hearing Jon say he loves him. He knows he does, and it still takes his breath away every time. But right now, with a handful of hours until the morning, it makes him feel like the air has been punched out of his chest.

“You’re right,” he says quietly. “I wish we’d gotten our act together sooner.”

Beside him, Jon pulls his knees up to his chest, wrapping one arm around his legs and extending his other hand in Martin’s direction. Martin holds onto his hand, and they stay like that for a spell.

They’ve made an unspoken compact to not only avoid fighting on this last night, but also to keep things light. They’ve had so few wholly good days together, Martin reflects. If things don’t work out and he loses Jon tomorrow, he wants to remember him happy. He wants to make the time they have count.

He nudges Jon, letting his voice grow teasing again. “Hey. If I got to do it all over again, I’d ask you out on a kayaking date.”

“That’s... pretty specific,” Jon remarks.

“Tim gave me the idea. Early, early on, when he would make fun of me for having a crush on the boss. I’d bring you some tea and come back to my desk to find he’d texted me a link to a nearby kayak rental service. It was a different one each time, too.”

“You have to admire the commitment.” Jon pauses. “Can two people even fit in the same kayak?”

“I thought of that. There are tandem kayaks. I was going to win you over with my superior rowing skills.”

Jon laughs. “I think it would’ve worked.”

From just outside the door comes a rustling noise. Basira, probably, holding an armful of sleeping bag and looking for a place to bed down for the night.

After she goes past, Jon says ruefully, “We should probably get some rest.”

He looks about as tired as Martin feels. But everything now seems tinged with an air of finality. If they go to sleep, it might be the last time they curl up together. And it’ll make the morning come sooner.

It’s irrational, but he blurts out, “Not yet. I… I’m not ready.”

To say goodnight. To say goodbye.

Jon cants his head at him, and Martin wonders how transparent his thoughts are, playing across his features.

“Me neither,” Jon murmurs. He leans in closer and presses a kiss to Martin’s forehead. “Me neither.”

They stay up and talk, facing each other in bed. Neither of them has ever had a sleepover at a friend’s place, they discover, and yet this feels like that. Jon tells him about the lake he and Basira traversed, making it sound absolutely dreadful without Martin there to help with rowing. Martin starts describing Life of Pi and other movies Jon may never get to watch. Several times, he asks if Jon is sleeping with his eyes open, then laughs as he denies it.

In the end, Martin doesn’t even remember falling asleep — only that Jon is there with him, and that’s almost enough.

[also available on AO3 here]

[my TMA fic on AO3]

#the magnus archives #jonmartin #jonathan sims #martin blackwood #mimofic #basira hussain #daisy | alice tonner

[rdivo]

Vector Sigma and Cybertronian Society

the more i think abt vector sigma the less i like it. the allspark is what keeps cybertron alive and it does not need VS to create a fully functional cybertronian with an altmode (e.g. cheetor).

so the only purpose of VS is to let someone get in there and make the cosmic force with a will of its own create life with the specs that YOU want. you can tell it to make em big beefcakes with purple badges for faces and no mind of their own.

but megatron did not create VS. it was already there. it was already being used. by whom? who was the expert scientist tapping away at the touch screen to spawn fully formed bots at will (something that the allspark resists and has to be actively worked against)? and why would anyone need to do that?

when the allspark got put back, everything was fine. everything returned to normal. thriving natural ecosystems. fresh, abundant energon rivers. VS was long gone. WHY was it ever a thing? (i have an answer, and in fact all the answers)

cybertronians live long lives. or at least they can, if theyre allowed to. lets look at who survived for an inordinate amount of time. 1) alchemist prime. he was a soldier but then led a quiet life as a barkeep that nobody bothered even during all out war. 2) alpha trion. mightve had a real job at some point, but eventually got a cozy seat in the high council. see a pattern?

its pointless to try to excavate cyber class politics from the show bc it was pretty obviously kept vague. but all im saying is. maybe the way society developed, the means of production ended up not in the workers’ hands. so the owner of a, say, mining company, could be like “well right now i have 50 miners working to mine just enough ore to make stuff. but if i had 100 miners, we would have double the ore, and we could make more stuff, but most importantly i could make a profit.“

but you cant do anything, bc the allspark only creates bots at times suited to its grand divine plan, and theyre not guaranteed to have the altmodes or disposition to become miners. they might be scientists or artists or literally anything.

so lets say that youre affiliated with the people in power, bc thats how you became the owner of a company in the first place. and lets say that these people have already created an artifact whose only purpose is to concentrate knowledge and authority in the hands of a single bot at a time, someone handpicked and possibly mentored by the previous owner of the artifact, thus ensuring the continuity of their ideas (the matrix of leadership).

i dont think they would oppose creating another artifact that hijacks the natural pace and idiosyncrasies of reproduction to crank out a bunch of cheap labor already formatted to do the specific, possibly life-threatening work that you wanted, so you can expand the economy and maybe even export the surplus to your planetary colonies at exorbitant prices. so many ex words.

IN CONCLUSION, i cant believe optimus wasted so much time rebuilding the grand empirium when there is NO way that a post-war, post-vector sigma, post-industrial collapse, post-all of the original thirteen are finally dead cybertron can go back to the way things were before. “civilization“ or whatever tf he was raving about.

you TRY to tell the townies from cobalt springs that youre BrInGiNg BaCk ThE hIgH cOuNcIl (more like CRINGE council) and theyll be like hol up buckaroo. who are you even gonna put there? yourself and your army buddies? nepotism. some kinda election? EVEN if you could reach the farthest places on the planet (you cant) and get everyone to vote (you cant), the idea that one room’s worth of career politicians can possibly represent the interests of the entire world is just ridiculous.

bots were most likely pushed by circumstance (apocalypse) to organize into small, collaborative, self governing units, and if you try to take that away from them then theyll turn the same weapons that they used to fight with you back ON you, OPTIMUS PRIME.

im sure the grand imperium has nice acoustics. just turn it into a multi purpose venue for like events.

#maccadam #cyberverse #optimus prime #megatron #vector sigma #cyberverse spoilers #if you havent seen cyberverse this probably sounds like nonsense. thats ok #headcanon #longpost #uhh i guess ive seen some posts in a tag called this: #cybertronian culture #txt #pic

[tartagliaxx]

first off, hello 🤷‍♀️ anon! sorry i missed you out

and secondly, dw, marius is my favourite too lol, he reminds me a lot of my younger cousin who i lived with when i was younger. i was always the one who took care of him and marius calling me older sister just set off so much memories of my childhood. the both of them are also vv similar in personality, attention seeking, playful and artistic so i always see him whenever i look at marius.

artem is probably my second favourite ngl, ever since i read his ssr where he was jealous and got drunk (what a good combination lmao) i just grew so soft for him. at the end of the day, he's just a vv soft sweetheart who's insecure that we'll leave him :(( i have like 3 ssrs at lvl36, two of them are artem cards and the other is luke. i vibe with luke too bc i love the childhood friends trope, it's top tier. and as for vyn... i have vv mixed feelings abt him. i feel like he could so easily see through me if he was real and i'm just like, how about no. he's rlly pretty though, like rlly pretty.

*major spoilers*

and you've finished the archon quests!!! personally, i feel like the ending felt a bit rushed(?). it's weird bc i thought the resistance war against the raiden shogun was supposed to be the center of the story, but it just devolved to us helping yae with the entire war being swept to the side. and i already knew somebody was gonna die, and as soon as i saw that teppei had become the captain, i just knew.

it's interesting bc i would love to explore what happened to la signora and scaramouche to make them so disregarding of human life. like, i don't like them, but i want to understand their minds. it's sad to read signora's artifact's background honestly. and the fact that her crown said she used to be called rosalyne, that she had perhaps once led a more innocent and naive existence. i dunno, to me it seems like a good ending for her honestly, she had already lost herself after her lover's death and brings pain to many others, i don't think she can rlly return to being her again.

and honestly, a lot of people are talking abt scaramouche not telling signora he already had the gnosis and saying that he orchestrated her death, i don't rlly think so. i feel like he's just that apathetic to human life, even if it's someone that stands on his side, he just doesn't care enough. it also says how he never got along with anyone, not even his fellow harbingers, so i don't know why ppl expect him to seek out someone he doesn't like just to warn her of danger.

i vibe with scaramouche and la signora as the antagonists bc they're good antagonists, but as characters, well. other than the fact that they're pretty, they have like one likeable trait and that is their loyalty. they would do anything for the tsaritsa even if it cost them their life. i'm rlly excited to see what the tsaritsa has in store for us in the future.

considering our sibling is nicknamed 'the prince/princess', i wonder if there's gonna be a day where we're gonna have to go toe to toe with them. if we had them backed them into a corner with no way out, i wonder if they would kill us. it would be an interesting twist if we could actually die, but i feel like the protagonist halo will prevent it lol and i'm sorry bc god, this is so long.

— r. anon

marius. that’s the tweet. man,, you dont realize how in love i am w him?? like,, this man was literally my only hope when i fell horribly sick. i cant w myself now that i’m hearing it w my own voice. it must be nice to remember the good ol’ days… i despise my cousins and i dont have siblings so i dont really have that sort of connection w him. to me, his onee-san is just a joke? a petname? idk but it simultaneously makes me so mad and giddy just like childe’s existence does

i like vyn bc his vibes are sus but at the same time, he’s cares abt our mental health 🥺👉👈 no one’s ever said shit like that to me… jokes aside, luke is seriously threatening his spot bc of his blushing bs like pls 🤲 i’m so weak for that shit give me more. artem makes me soft too like,, he keeps mentioning that he trusts us and he’s just…. HE’S A BIG TEDDY BEAR THAT BLUSHES AT LIKE ACCIDENTAL HAND BRUSHES GRRRR. in conclusion, i love them all.

but man,, give me ssr luck… literally, im in pain…

now that the excitement’s worn off, i can now judge things properly. i think that… the pacing is horrible. like the plot is good, genuinely, but there’s just,, so much to explore abt this. if you think abt it, this is the climax and yet we didnt get much. scratch that. we got a lot but it’s all underdeveloped that it felt like nothing. we go to sangonimiya, got promoted, became captain for like, one sec before we are sent onto an investigation that didnt really produce any results bc app teppei alr knows everything? and then the delusion thing is a good plot point but it’s not really explored? just… a lot of things are left unexplored and i think that story wise, a lot of the possible lore explanations went down the drain. it would’ve been nice if we saw more abt the rebellion and if we had gotten to know whats the real deal w the commissions but eh… idk… i would’ve rather done more quests abt this whole storyline than like… do that whole dance w the three people who lost their vision in 2.0.

if im going to be honest, la signora is such a wasted character. like maybe her death was just for the shock factor or maybe it’s to prepare us for more harbinger encounters in the future.. idk but she’s such a good character from what we’ve seen but we know jack shit abt her and her motives. we know a little from the artifact set but beyond that, what do we have?

precisely! that’s how i feel abt this whole thing when we’re talking seriously. like w ei, i dont really agree w whatever they’re doing but i want to understand why they do the things that they do. everything has a reason and their psychology is just interesting to me.

i think scaramouche’s nature makes it easy for him to disregard human life. call it arrogance or whatever but ultimately, he’s seeing himself as smth above all these people bc he’s more or less capable of standing toe to toe w a god. why should he bother telling signora? it’s not like he gains anything if he does. i think that when he got the gnosis, he’s just ‘well she dies if she dies. who cares abt that? i dont have any need for incompetent colleagues anw’ i agree and i dont think he orchestrated her death but at the same time, he just allowed it to happen too.

as for signora, i’m actually surprised? for the most part, i think that the harbingers took their posts for selfish reasons. for scara, it’s to entertain himself and pass time. for childe, it’s to fight and grow stronger. for dottore, it’s to conduct dubious research w/o anyone stopping him. i expected signora to have some similar motive like power or money but it seems like she does actually believe in the tsaritsa? it would be very intriguing if signora’s main motive in becoming a harbinger is simply bc she is loyal to the tsaritsa and her will. bc in contrast, i think scara and dottore are more loyal to the fact that the tsaritsa can give them what they want, not bc they actually like her. actually, idek if they’re willing to die for her lol. like i wouldnt be surprised if they suddenly abandon post in a life or death situation but who knows…

in any case, they are very good antagonists. i like yo think that the tsaritsa isnt as bad as the game portrays her to be… of all the gods, she’s the one im looking forward to the most but… haha… what version would that be….

i’m almost certain that they’ll make us fight our twin maybe before we face the unknown god? if one of them dies, i would be very sad. like legit. but knowing mhy, well, our twin is almost 100% a walking death flag.

anw i’m shutting up rn— i also spoke too much kahdjabdhakbsjansb—

#˗ˋˏ°• letters from cat island •°ˎˊ˗ #˗ˋˏ°• from my darling : r •°ˎˊ˗ #inazuma spoilers

[maevequeenofthefae]

So I see a lot of posts out there that say something along the lines of, "I'm still going to (use plastic straws/single use plates/disposable this and that, etc..) because I am not the issue, it's the big corporations making the most waste, and they should be at fault!"

Sure! They are at fault, for producing those items in an unsustainable manner to begin with. And while it is TRUE that companies like Amazon and Coca Cola are some of the world's biggest polluters, especially compared to an individual, or even 8billion individuals, wouldnt you still want to do your part anyways? I mean you create the demand and the companies supply, so if you keep buying coca cola from plastic bottles, coca cola is going to keep selling it that way. Making change is equal parts protesting and resisting.

I work at a hotel, and we put tiny bottles of shampoo, lotion, soaps, makeup wipes, and more in each room daily. Not only do they cost a dollar a piece to order (which is a lot of wasted profits!) but these are all single use items that after their one use become waste. The hotel does not recycle. So on one hand the hotel as a company is making eco-disastrous choices. But you know why? Because people have come to expect these amenities in the rooms. Even if they just get thrown away! I have literally fished perfectly good and unopened soaps out of a trash bag because people just toss them unused. But if I hadn't put the amenities in the rooms, the guests would complain.

I mean I understand that not everybody can always make these choices, and that sometimes "living green" or making ethical choices is something only wealthier people have access to, but to me that just means individuals would all the more want to make those little choices when they can? Green doesnt have to be expensive either, buying brand new 'sustainable harvest bamboo leggings' is just as good as buying regular old leggings at a thrift shop. It does add up, and as I said before your demand creates supply. Companies start offering alternatives when they realize consumers dont want the product they initially put out.

Like for example, maybe you eat out a lot because it is less expensive and time consuming than cooking meals at home. Totally fine! But knowing this is something you do, why not try your best to keep a reusable straw or utensils in the car? It's a small thing to do and these utensils dont have to be some expensive fancy bamboo things in their own pouch, I mean you can just bring some forks from home. Heck I've reused plastic cutlery many times, you just wash it. A reusable bag at the grocery store costs 99 cents (at least it does where I shop) and you can always just reuse the plastic bags they give you if you cant afford to buy a nice one. Your hotel wont put new amenities in a room if you tell them not to and just bring your own. Ziplocs can be washed and reused easily. There are so many little things we can do that really add up and reduce or eliminate the need to keep buying and trashing.

I'm just thinking that perhaps if we slowed or stopped our own consumption/purchasing of these unethical items and started replacing them with cheaper and greener alternatives, the demand would plummet and therefore the companies would be forced to change. Just look what plant based eaters are doing to fast food chains! Sure, they aren't going to stop producing their toxic cruelty burgers, but they have at least begun the process of including alternatives, which is a baby step that we the consumers pushed on them by not purchasing what they initially offered.

---

I'd love to hear your thoughts on this!

#green #companies #singleuseplastics #waste

[ehstarwar]

lovers ever run before the clock (Reylo Drabble)

“You guys are disgusting. I would tell you to get a room, but I’m sure you’re already headed that way,” Rose says.

“I think it’s perfectly acceptable to find a room. It is our wedding night, after all. I’d very much like to go ravish my wife, now,” Ben’s face is stoic and unyielding, a stark contrast to Roses, now very much shocked face.

Rey and Ben celebrate their wedding night... before they actually leave their wedding.

-

Rating: Explicit

Word Count: 1K

Read on AO3

Notes: this is my second post today and i am honestly impressed with myself for becoming this person. so please enjoy this domestic, fluffy nonsense that i wrote post-bottle of sangria!

-

“You cannot actually be sneaking off right now?” Rose’s voice pulls Rey out of Ben’s deep gaze that says there’s a dark corner down that hall, meet me there.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Rey refutes. Rose rolls her eyes and gives a humorless laugh at her.

“Oh please, you two have literally been attached at the hip the entire time he’s been here. You’re worse than porgs during mating season,” Rose says. Rey huffs indignantly, praying that the makeup Kaydel had insisted she wear was hiding her blush. Rey stutters something unintelligent and Rose just laughs at her.

Rey feels the warm body of Ben slide next to her, and wrap an arm lovingly around her waist.

“Oh, Ben! Perfect timing!” Rose say, giving Rey a knowing glance. Ben’s brows knit in confusion and Rose just keeps laughing.

“Rose is just being silly,” Rey says, wanting nothing more than to leave this conversation and go do exactly what Rose thinks they’ll be doing.

“Is she?” A small smirk forms in the corners of his lips. Rose rolls her eyes.

“You guys are disgusting. I would tell you to get a room, but I’m sure you’re already headed that way,” Rose says. Rey opens her mouth to retort but Ben steps in.

“I think it’s perfectly acceptable to find a room. It is our wedding night, after all. I’d very much like to go ravish my wife, now,” Ben’s face is stoic and unyielding, a stark contrast to Roses, now very much shocked face.

Before anyone could speak, Ben hauled Rey off, down the hallway he’d nodded to. Once Rey was able to get her wits about her she highly slapped his arm.

“Benjamin Solo! You can’t say thing’s like that to people!” She gasped. Ben, the smug, beautiful man who was now her husband, just continued down the hall, periodically checking to see if anyone was lurking in the corners.

“You like it very much when I say thing’s like that to you,” He says. Rey huffs indignantly just as Ben finds an alcove far enough away from the guest to satisfy him.

“Well, I’m your wife. I’m the only person you should say things like that too. Not our friend, who is undoubtably going to tell our other friends.

Ben wasn’t quite sure when her friend became their friends, and he probably would have paid more attention to that if he wasn’t focused on the way the words ‘your wife’ sounded coming from her lips. He gently pushed her against the wall, resting his whole body against hers.

“Mhmmm… my wife… I like the sound of that,” He said sweetly, bumping his nose against hers. Any animosity evaporated from the conversation as he mumbled that to her.

“And you’re my husband,” She giggles against his lips. “It still feels surreal. My husband.”

Rey feels Ben’s smile against her cheek and a low sound of approval deep within his throat. Ben’s hands begin to wander lower, settling on Rey’s hips. She could feel the warmth radiating off of him, even through the fine silk that rested over her. Ben dipped his head to the column of her neck, pressing barely-there kisses to her skin. When he leaned in to rub his groin against her stomach, she felt him hot and hard beneath his robes.

“We don’t have that much time, husband,” She whispers in the crook of his neck.

“You said that earlier, and if I recall correctly, we had plenty of time…” He says against the shell of her ear. Rey could still feel his finger tips burned into the meat of her thigh, evidence of their tryst behind the temple (roughly seven minutes after they were married).

Never mind that he’d had her that morning.

And in the dressing area before she put on the gown.

Ben was insatiable. Her husband was insatiable.

But so was she.

Ben’s kisses turn more insistent as his hand moves to bunch up the fabric of her dress. She whimpers a weak protest against him, but even she knows it futile. He’ll have her and she’ll let him and she’ll love it. Her hands move quickly to his belt, undoing only what needs to be done to get him out of the black robes and into her hand.

After all this time, it’s still a marvel to her how large he it. How heavy his cock feels in her hands. In another setting, she’d tease him before he entered her. Rey would bring him to the breaking point only to deny him and watch the painful beauty of Ben pleas.

But time was of the essence. The lacy, frilly underwear that Kaydel had also insisted on, had long been ripped off and stuffed into one of Ben’s pockets and Rey was very glad for that at this moment. Ben filled her in one swift movement, letting her stretch around him and seat himself fully, before bringing his lips crashing down to Rey’s.

“Kriff, Rey,” Ben groaned into her skin, “So good, baby. Always so knifing good.”

Rey clutches at Ben’s robes, trying to bring him impossibly closer. He starts, short shallow thrust, making her bite down on his shoulder to stop her from crying out too loud. Rey cants her hips into his, matching his thrust and silently begging him to go faster.  Ben, ever the dutiful husband, complies.

The wet slide of his cock is the only thing she can hear above the blood pounding in her ears. His pace is brutal and delicious and Rey is suddenly very sad that they chose to have a reception and not to immediately fly off to their honeymoon. But Ben brings one large hand between them, using his thumb to rub her clit, bringing her closer and closer to oblivion, and any thought of being anywhere else vanishes from Rey’s head.

“My husband, my love. Please,” she moans against his shoulder. She doesn’t know what she’s asking for, but she knows Ben will provide it.

His thumb works quicker against her and his cock is filling her cunt so perfectly and her vision whites out as soon as Ben grumbles an almost incoherent “My wife.”

Rey hold onto him for dear life, clutching him with a ferocity that would even shock her. She feels his come, warm and thick, pooling inside of her. His body, still rigid from his orgasm, curls around her and into her hold as if it’s the only thing keeping him alive. They pant together and as soon as she catches her breath, he steals it away with a kiss.

“Do you think we’ve consummated our union enough tonight?” She taunts.

“Consummation requires a bed; so, no. Not nearly enough,” Ben says. Their post-orgasmic haze makes Rey feel like she’s floating and she’s content to sneak out the back with Ben, guest be damned.

Until a throat-clearing breaks them out of their revere.

“Ugh, guys?” Poe’s voice, annoying at best and wholly unwelcome at the moment, snaps Ben and Rey back into reality. Both look like deer caught in headlights. The quickly start righting themselves, making a futile attempt not to look like they’ve been romping around in a cantina on their wedding night.

“It’s kind of customary for the bride and groom to cut the cake before they sneak off to their honeymoon, and Maz made a real good-lookin’ cake, and it’s a little selfish of you guys to make us wait for it for so long-”

“Poe,” Ben’s voice is a warning and Rey chuckles, trying to smooth out the wrinkles from her bunched up dress.

“So you will be rejoining the crowd? Momentarily, I hope?” Poe continues, clearly not intimidated by his childhood friend turned nemesis turn friend again.

“We’ll be out in a minute, Poe.” Rey shouts, trying to keep herself from laughing even more as Ben grumbles to himself. When she hears Poe’s footsteps down the hallway, Rey places her hands on Ben’s face, hoping to calm him before they’re thrust to the masses again.

“It’s not a horrible idea, you know. Sneaking out now. Save a lot of time on the exit.” Ben’s pout is hard to resist, but the ginormous cake that Rey had gotten to sample earlier won out. She pressed a sweet, chaste kiss to his lips before grabbing his hand and heading back to the reception. Ben knew arguing against cake would be a waste of breath and time, so he followed her.

-

“Watch your step, sweetheart,” Ben murmured into her hair. They were boarding the Falcon, a wedding gift from Chewie, as Rey’s eyes refused to remain open.

After the hoots and hollers when they rejoined the reception, the near-argument they had over whether or not to cut the cake with their lightsabers (“Husband, it would be so cool,” “Wife, it would burn the cake”), and the endless sea of people wanting to ask them when they would start trying for children, Ben and Rey were finally heading home.

Another slight stumble by Rey and Ben decided it would be more efficient just to pick her up. This action received much cheering from the small crowd of guest that we’re seeing them off. Rey tucked her face into the crook of his neck, feeling warm and content in his arms and not bother by all the action behind them.

Ben sets her down in the small bed of the captains quarters and squats down to press a sweet kiss to her forehead.

“You sure you don’t want me to pilot? I swear I’m not as tired as I look,” Rey protest’s weakly.

“I think I’ll manage. Why don’t you rest up for the honeymoon, dear,” His voice drips in adoration and love, and even her sleep-altered mind can still feel the warm rush it brings her.

“Good idea. My husband is veeeerrrry smart and full of good ideas,” She mumbles to Ben, making him chuckle.

Ben pushes hair out of her face, palm covering have of it, as his eye bore into her, looking every bit the lovestruck child Rey feels she is too.

“Sleep, wife. We have all the time in the galaxy.”

#ben solo #kylo ren #rey #reylo #rose tico #poe dameron #adam driver #daisy ridley #ben solo x rey #kylo ren x rey #wedding night fluff and smut #its a lot of smut #but i feel that the smutty is sorta fluffy so #¯\_(ツ)_/¯ #fan fic #my work

[waftyjourney]

Hej 2021!

I cant describe how 2020 feels in one word. So many things happened, so unpredictable. However, one thing that I really be grateful for: Thanks God, I survived. I able to finish this year with alive, beside every rocks that I’ve got this year.

From the beginning of the year, I was overwhelmed with my future path, either getting into master or having a dream job. Then, it continued by my worries about the future since Covid19 broke all the plans. Until suddenly God led me into a new job. On that day, I was having rustle in my gut, told me that it would be my dream job. After waiting for the long run, I was in. Worked calmly & peacefully in the 1st month. And well, it’d changed, something trigger my mental health and I lost my self. An identity crisis. Until I write this post, I am still having anxiety disorder through the job. Funny isn’t it?

Well, some points that I wanna recap through my journey in 2020, and I hope these will be precious lesson to my life ahead.

Too much worry about the future. Well, that’s no wrong to be prepared about the future. But I admit that I was a fool. I really worry about my future, I felt hopeless & worthless. I am too naive, thinking that our sustenance only could be achieved by working on 9-5 job. And yeah, I was feel sooo miserable as human being. I even compelled to God as if I can’t get 9-5 job, I would be the most pathetic person on the earth. And now, He slammed me over my face. He gave me what I want, but it’s out of my expectation. So yeah, I would never, never again to compel my hope to uncertain things. Only him who knew what the best story that I must walk in.

Discover my self: fear & anxiety. Another thing that I discovered about my inner self: I can’t resist if anyone scolded me. I thought  that I just afraid when my dad mad at me before, but not just my dad. When people around me show theirs madness through me, i will easily triggered. My brain will automatically give an alert & decide to avoid the person. I dunno why my thinking mechanism turn out like this. So, in this year, I met with a boss who crazy about perfectionism. She will mad if something not equal as her standard. And yeah, as a newbie, I made many mistakes. Until one day, she mad at me and scolded me harshly. I dunno why every time she labelled me in a hector way, my life bubble suddenly ‘feel’ as if  her words become true. Then, as you might expect, I enter vicious circle, that I can’t perform well because I am too afraid to her. The peak is around Sept - Oct, when I guessed I will be cut off because I couldn’t perform. At that time I really really afraid to her, can you imagine how big my fear is? The feeling is such fear to be murdered or beaten up by that person. I have had high intensity of anxiety disorder: I can’t take a nap if there is sun light outta there because my brain activated its alert system to stay guard as it’s work hours. If I try to get a nap, close my eyes, my heart will beat rapidly and the scolding scene will play in my brain.  In addition, I  woke up in 3 AM all of sudden, with a fast beating heart, and stay awake.  I also got my first panic attack, where my brain was dysfunction for a moment. All of these become exacerbate as my self which crazy over efficiency. In one time, I had a suicidal though too, I hoped that I get infected by the virus, in order to end this hell. I am tired, I asked internally: why I am very scare to that person? Why I scare to a human as that much? One thing that I learned, I will get triggered when some one scolded me. I am struggle with overthinking, anxiety, and also my own character as eficiency crazy. I know that I must take control of it, but it not an easy process, right? I must learn how to let it go, how to f*uck i off from my mind, in order to unwiring this paralyzed thought.

Go to Psychologist for 1st time, being vulnerable. Meanwhile my anxiety was high, I blamed my self that I can’t good enough. Why I couldn’t perform, why my fear is very irrational, why and why. I called my friends almost every night, I griped so much to release my anxiety. I even tried to open talk to my parents, which I never done before ever in my life. I really need a help from people, I felt that I am disoriented at that time, and at the end, I tried to visit a psychologist. Spilled out of my emotions. One thing that her suggestion that I marked up, P: What the worst possibility if you make mistake again?; M: I will be fired; P: And what you might feeling if it happened?; M: I relief, I will free from all of these; P: See? you will be ok and still breathing Vi ... At this point, I realized that we can’t really stand alone in our life. We need people, we need their perspectives to see logically in our matters. Sometimes we are too focus at our problem, and can’t analyse clearly how to solve it. Moreover, the best healer in our life is only God, and our parents. Parents & home, are the best thing that I ever had in my life. By only feeling their existence, I get less anxious. Sometimes I regret, why I just realize their importance in my mid 20s, and wasting them in my college year. Regardless all these bad things, surprisingly, my communication with my day has became better. Out bonding get thighter, thanks God..

What is the purpose of our life? What so special about our achievements? After become anxious every time - (the demon is still here, now) - I reached in one point: why I am so screw up? Why my job really affected all of my life, besides there are more joyous things that I could find? Why I am always focus in a bad parts? I am really tired with my demon thought. What’s wrong with me?

Well, that’s a lot happened during my 2020. I am not sure what I will face in the next months, but I just hope: I want to be mindful to live my live, be more conscious, and bring back ‘the old me’.

[aniallating]

IF I’VE DONE WRONG | a Quentin playlist | listen here

a mix for when u refuse to give up no matter how much it sucks and also the world owes you like 16 favours after this so you deserve to fuckin relax. relevant lyrics/timeline under the cut!

01 your side of the bed / landon austin (post-mosaic) ・ i can't sleep cause she's where you're supposed to be ・ she's getting all the songs you used to get / she's getting all the words inside of my head / she's sleeping on your side of the bed, but it's still your side / now i'm up all night

02 fools / troye sivan ・ i need time to replace what i gave away / and my hopes, they are high, i must keep them small / though i try to resist, i still want it all ・ i see a little house on the hill and children's names / i see quiet nights poured over ice and tanqueray / but everything is shattering and it's my mistake / only fools fall for you

03 memo / years & years ・ you seek yourself in another way / i try my best but i don't ever change ・ i want you to stay / and if i try my hardest, would you look my way? ・ let me take your heart, love you in the dark / no one has to see / i want more, i want more

04 you're somebody else / flora cash (the monster) ・ i saw the part of you that only when you're older you will see, too / you will see, too / i held the better cards, but every stroke of luck has got a bleed through ・ well, you look like yourself but you're somebody else / only it ain't on the surface / well, you talk like yourself / no, i hear someone else, though / now you're making me nervous ・ you were the better part of every bit of beating heart i had / whatever i had

05 wide eyed / billy lockett (the seam) ・ truth is i'm used to making it up on my own / how long will i climb out? i never listen / i'm in remission ・ how long will i say yes over my conscience? truth is i'm wasted before i take it all in / how long will i blame it on past life tragedy? there's no remedy ・ i can't pretend it's not the end / no, it's not the end

06 in my blood / shawn mendes (4x13 who?) ・ keep telling me that it gets better / does it ever? help me, it's like the walls are caving in / sometimes i feel like giving up, no medicine is strong enough ・ i'm looking through my phone again, feeling anxious / afraid to be alone again, i hate this ・ sometimes i feel like giving up, but i just can't / it isn't in my blood

07 all i have to give the world is me / tegan and sara (4x13 WHO) ・ talked myself out of being me, didn't wanna fight my own worst enemy ・ staring down my two halves in the glass feels like a heart attack / telling me to choose one or the other, i get so panicked / i don't wanna lose, but if i choose love, what will happen then? ・ you don't have to change, you don't have to change / all i have to give this world is me, and that's it / all i have to show this world is me, and that's it / just me, just me, just me

08 i wanna get better / bleachers ・ i've trained myself to give up on the past cause i froze in time between hearses and caskets ・ i chase that feeling of an eighteen-year-old who didn't know what loss was / now i'm a stranger ・ i miss the days of a life still permanent / mourn the years before i got carried away / so now i'm staring at the interstate, screaming at myself / hey, i wanna get better

09 mess is mine / vance joy (post-monster recovery) ・ do you like walking in the rain? when you think of love, do you think of pain? you can tell me what you see, i will choose what i believe ・ this body is yours, this body is yours and mine / well hold on, darling, this mess was yours / now your mess is mine ・ your mess is mine / this body's yours and this body's mine / your mess is mine

10 made up love song #43 / lewis watson ・ i love you through sparks and shining dragons, i do / and the symmetry in your northern grin ・ you got me off the sofa, just sprang out of the air / the best things come from nowhere, i can't believe you care ・ yes, i believe you, yes, i believe you

11 straight to hell / hollerado ・ must we explain the perfect moments, like hummingbird wings? they are meant to move too fast for our eyes / and i believe in evolution and the wonder of all things, so why can't salvation be mine? ・ i'm sorry if i've done wrong / but i won't back down cause we don't last long

12 sunday / bloc party (healing) ・ i'll love you in the morning when you're still hungover / i'll love you in the morning when you're still strung out ・ there might be ones who are smarter than you, that have the right answers, that wear better shoes / forget about those melting ice caps, we're doing the best with what we've got ・ when i'm with you i am calm, a pearl in your oyster / head on my chest, a silent smile, a private kind of happiness / you see, giant proclamations are all very well, but our love is louder than words

wow cant believe quentin survived the seam and also told the library to fuck off and now has the time he deserves to recover and heal and be in love with eliot, s5 dont @ me

#dj khaled voice another one #the magicians #quentin coldwater #queliot #fanmix #special thanks to nicole for being Tha realest

[rorynne]

Time Lost (Rewrite) Ch 1

Pairing: Bucky Barnes/Reader

Summary: An accident during a mission sends you back in time to the second world war. There you enlist the help of Peggy Carter, Steve Rogers, and Bucky Barnes to find the object that can send her back.

Warnings: not much bucky but he will be more present going forward

Word count: 2.7k

A/N: This is a rewrite of an OC fic that I have been writing and been wanting to turn into a reader Fic. Im unsure if I will be continuing the OC fic currently, I may just transfer it completely to my reader Fic. Currently 6 chapters are up of the OC fic, and I shall be posting a rewritten chapter every few days on here.

Masterlist

Prologue

Storm clouds hung heavy in the sky as you sat in the back of a jeep bound for the current SSR base in Italy. Almost two years of searching and there was barely any information on the bell to go off of. It was beyond frustrating. At this rate, you were starting to wonder if you would ever get back to your time. Granted, all of the documents you brought back were dated 1943 or later, chances were development on the bell had only just begun. And if that were the case, hopefully, it wasn't going to take them seventy years to finish.

Your general lack of ability to change anything also proved to be frustrating as hell. Only Peggy knew of your true origins. They had both decided against going around saying you were from the future, god only knew that would just get them both locked up. However, as a result, that meant you were far less likely to be believed any time you tried to keep an event from happening if you lacked any evidence. you never thought you would sympathize with Cassandra.

“I was beginning to wonder when you'd show up.” A familiar voice teased as the jeep came to a halt. You smiled as you saw Peggy waiting to inspect the arriving convoy. Peggy had managed to make the last two years far more bearable, becoming quick friends with you.

“You know me,” You said, jumping out of the back of the jeep. “I like to keep everyone guessing.”

Peggy smiled as you approached. “Perhaps a little too much.” She accused. “How was Paris?”

You shrugged and canted your head, “Beautiful city, great food, interesting history.” You crossed your arms. “Too bad I wanted to shoot the majority of my company.”

“I trust you were able to resist the temptation?” Said Peggy eyeing you in amusement.

“Figured I would let the boys have the nazi killing fun for now.” You sniffed indignantly. “Kind of regret it now. At least then I would have something to account for coming back.”

“No luck on the bell?”

“No luck on anything.” You corrected, “A whole lot of Nazis but no hydra. It seems the intel we had was either old or false.”

Peggy nodded at one of the soldiers carrying a crate from a truck. “You think they’ve caught on to us?”

You chewed your cheek. “I'm not sure. I can't say they knew I was coming, or I’d be dead. Or at least so I would assume. I don't see any reason why they would keep me alive knowing I'm a spy. But at the same time, there wasn't a single member of hydra there. I've never seen that before, usually there's at least one.

Peggy narrowed her eyes. “If we aren't being fed false information then somethings happening.”

“And whatever it is, I think the ones outside of hydra are just about as in the dark as we are. Hydra’s making a play, a big one.”

“A faction split?” Peggy offered.

“It's possible. But if it's that, they've got to be pretty confident that they can win.” You scratched the back of your neck, entirely unsure of what to make about any of it.

Peggy nodded, “If what the surviving 107th are saying is true, it seems they've got just that.” Seemingly content with the convoy, Peggy started towards the SSR command tent. “Your history books say anything about this?”

You followed close behind. “About the 107th? Not much. They get captured, Captain America comes in and saves the day singlehandedly. Dunno how much stock I put into to all that personally. Lotta things about the Cap and hydra got covered up after the war by shield. Especially in the history books.”

Peggy frowned, walking into the tent. “I can believe it. I've seen Rogers in action, unfortunately, the army seems content parading him around America singing about war bonds.

Your eyebrows shot up. “Excuse me, what?”

“Peggy gestured to the poster hanging from a support beam of the tent. “Captain America,” it read, “on tour: Allied bases across Europe and North Africa.” You bit your lip to keep from laughing, this was not how you ever imagined meeting Captain America.

“They, they really have him singing?” You said, fighting to keep a straight face.

“Dancing at the very least,” said Peggy, not sounding the slightest bit amused. “Bloody waste if you ask me. He’ll be arriving and preforming here tomorrow.”

You shook your head, still staring at the poster. “I wouldn't miss it for the world.”

The captain's performance was, frankly, every bit as hilarious as you expected. The rest of the crowd, however, didn't seem to agree. Instead, they demanded the dancing girls come back on stage. You grimaced as the famous Steve Rogers walked off stage, noticeably embarrassed. The Captain America you knew was a hero, a legend even. But this was before all of his exploits before he saved the world more times than you could count. He barely seemed to be the same man.

You held back for a time, figuring he would want space after such a humiliation. But, as the rain that had been threatening for two days now began to pour, you went searching for him. Surely there was something that pushed him out of the theater and into heroism because he was far better at the latter. Whose brilliant idea even was it to have him dancing around in the first place?

You found him with Peggy, taking refuge from the rain under a wooden awning behind the stage. Peggy's face was stern as you neared, “And these are your only options? Lab rat or dancing monkey?”

“War hero seems like a fun third option.” You cut in, earning a raised eyebrow from Peggy. “Or, you know, literally anything else.”

He looked at you with apprehension and confusion as Peggy took a patient breath. “What Agent L/N means, is you were meant for more than this.”

You extended a hand to him. “Sorry, my humor isn't for everyone. Y/N L/N.”

He nodded, shaking your hand. “Steve Rogers.” He sighed as his attention was pulled to an arriving red cross truck. “These men look like they've gone through hell.”

You crossed your arms, “They've gone through war.”

“These men more than most. They're what's left of the 107th.” Peggy agreed and you winced. What these men had seen seemed to make hell seem heavenly.

Steves' eyes went wide. “The 107th?” He was up and running to the command tent before Peggy could even respond. You and Peggy shared a glance before chasing after him through the rain.

Col. Phillips sat signing what were presumably condolence letters at his desk in the back fo the tent as steve rushed up to him. Phillips looked up just barely before returning to the letters. “If it isn't the star-spangled man with a plan. What do I own the pleasure.”

“I need the casualty list from Azzano,” Steve said with unexplained urgency.

Phillips looked up from his papers with a glare. “You don't get to give me orders.”

“I just need one name,” Steve continued, “Sergeant James Barnes of the 107th.” The name tugged the back of your memory, you had heard it somewhere before, in a museum maybe? That was right, you recalled the handsome picture of a soldier engraved in stone in the howling commando exhibit at the Smithsonian. He had been the one that died. Steve lost his best friend. You gave him a pitiful look as he argued with Phillips, you had always thought that Barnes became a commando before dying.

“But I don't expect you to understand that because you're a chorus girl.” Phillips's harsh words pulled you out of your thoughts.

“I think I understand just fine,” Steve responded coolly.

“Then understand it somewhere else, if I read the posters right you have somewhere to be in 30 minutes.” Phillips moved passed him to look over maps with another officer, making his stance on the conversation clear.

“Yes sir,” Steve said, studying the large map board in front of him, “I do.” He turned on his heels and rushed out of the tent, leaving you and Peggy in his wake.

“I’ll go after him,” Peggy whispered to you. “We need maps and supplies, whatever you can think of, then meet us in the hangar as soon as you can.”

You nodded letting Peggy follow after Steve. You stood there for a moment, pretending to study the map board before quickly and casually taking a smaller map off Col. Phillips desk and slipping it into your coat. With a nod to the nearest officer, you walked out of the tent and into the rain.

Already thoroughly drenched from your previous two treks thought the rain, you didn't bother trying to shield yourself from the downpour as you made your way to the nearest storehouse. Knowing Peggy, they were probably going to get court-martialed with whatever she had planned, so might as well go the whole hog and steal any supplies Steve might need.

You grabbed a gunny sack as soon as you entered the storeroom and started filling: A compass, multiple rations of food, a blanket, flashlight, rope, matches. Anything and everything that you could think of that he might need should he get lost. ‘Cause God knows, the way he was charging off, he damn well didn't consider any of this.

“Hey!” A guard called to you. “You aren't authorized to take any of this!”

You slung the sack over your shoulder as the guard approached. “Youll find that I am, private.” You bluffed. “Under official SSR orders. Unless that is, you want to waste Col Phillips time clearing it with him first?” The guard blanched at the mention of Phillips's name.

“No, Ma’am!” He said quickly, stepping out of your way. You gave a sharp nod before escaping the warehouse. you started toward the Hangar before pausing and looking at the stage. A devilish smile came over you as you changed your course.

The backstage was empty when you entered, likely all the actors and dancers were still on break, leaving the costumes unguarded. Because, really, who on earth would want to steal them, besides you. You hummed the tune to ‘star-spangled man’ as you picked up a helmet with a large white ‘A’. One thing was for sure, steve was going to save the 107th in (extremely questionable) style.

Peggy, Steve, and Stark were waiting at the hangar when you arrived, helmet in hand, a grin plastered across your face. “You know, for a star-spangled man with a plan, I'm wondering if you've ever had a plan in your life.” You teased, handing him the helmet and sack of supplies.

Steve gave you a look as he fiddled with the helmet, “In all fairness ma’am, you haven't known me long.”

“First impressions mean a lot, Rogers.” You shrugged, moving onto Peggy. “Though I’m not sure if this plan is much better than no plan,” You said in a low voice only Peggy could hear.

“We don't have many other options at the current moment.” Peggy defended as Steve and Stark boarded the plane. “Unless you somehow convinced Col. Phillips to give us an army.”

“I'm not a miracle worker.” You sighed.

“You said he was able to do this single-handed, we just need to have faith.” Peggy took a deep breath, even she didn't seem completely convinced.

You nodded, “Time to prove the history books right. I’ll stay grounded to try to keep the colonel distracted. Go.” You gave a mock salute as the plane took off, leaving you behind.

Keeping Phillips occupied until the plane returned proved to be quite easy. He was already extremely busy, and with some strategic playing dumb and careful excuses as to why you were doing Peggy's work, he was none the wiser until the plane landed the next morning. Then the shit hit the fan.

Steve didn't come back. Two weeks after the flight to Austria and there was absolutely no sign of him either. Phillips was furious, you did everything in your power to avoid him, though you knew it wouldn't be long before consequences came. There was a good possibility that your chance to get home was lost if Steve didn't show up.

You sat on the ground against a tree, picking at your fingers. At this point, you didn't even care about getting home. Instead, you couldn't shake the guilt of getting an avenger killed before the avengers were even a thing. The guilt of it alone made it difficult for you to even sleep at night. you would have gone into Austria yourself to find him, if Phillips hadn't expressly forbidden it, and kept an armed guard on you 24/7 as a baby sitter.

“You look like a child that's been sent to the headmaster,” Peggy said looking down at you.

You nodded, “Feel like it too.”

“Do you regret helping him?” Peggy asked, voice tight.

You sighed and looked up at her, “I regret not helping him more.” You admitted, “I teased him about not having a plan, and then didn't even try to give him one. I could have followed that dumbass into Austria myself.” The young soldier acting as your baby sitter shifted uncomfortably. “Stop acting like you've never heard a woman fucking swear Simmons.”

“Y-yes ma’am” He stammered and you rolled your eyes.

“We did everything we could for him,” Peggy reassured, ignoring Simmons. “He would have walked to Austria if we didn't help him.”

You laughed weakly, “I’ve done stupider things.” You paused for a beat, biting your lip, “Peggy, I, I’m sorry about this all. I could tell how much you liked him.”

Peggy swallowed, “Yes, well. I'm glad he wasn't stuck as a dancing monkey.” She cleared her throat, “I'm going to speak with Col. Phillips if you would like to join me.”

You scoffed, “No, I'd rather him find me if he wants to chew me out.” Peggy nodded and left you sitting under your tree. No doubt Phillips would be in a bad mood. He was finally calling off the searches today, officially labeling Steve Rogers as KIA. God, if only you had just gone with him as back up, at least then either he would be alive or you’d be too dead to care.

You threw your head back in frustration as hoots and hollers came from the front of the camp. Soldiers began running to the gates, curious, you joined them. You gasped when you saw what the soldiers were congregating for.

A hundred some odd men came marching through the gates, Steve Rogers, Captain America, leading the way. Cheers rippled through the crowd as the group walked through the camp, stopping in front of Col. Phillips. You slipped between the men in efforts to get a better view.

“Hey!” The man next to steve yelled, making you freeze, surprised, as you saw the familiar handsome face of a man you had only seen in museum exhibits. “Let's hear it for Captain America!” The crowd roared, men throwing their caps in the air, whistling, yelling, clapping. You found yourself clapping too as Barnes’s eyes locked onto yours for a brief moment. He smiled faintly as he caught sight of you, a sparkle of something in his steel-blue eyes as you shifted your attention to finding Col. Phillips.

You moved through the crowd in search of him, only to find him missing from it. you soon found him exactly where you expected him to be, the SSR command tent. you wore a sly smirk that would have read ‘I told you so” Had he bothered to look up at you. Instead, he focused on packing away his desk. “Don't think for a moment that just because Captain Rogers came back that you're off my shit list Agent L/N.”

You frowned, “He saved at least a hundred and fifty men. I played a part in that.”

“And that’s exactly why I'm not court martialing you for theft of government property.” He said as he tucked away a folder into a box. “Tell Agent Carter to pack her things, we’re returning to London for debriefing first thing tomorrow.”

You scowled, “Yes sir.”

#bucky barnes #bucky x reader #bucky #bucky x you #bucky barnes x reader #bucky x y/n

[ninzied]

another kind of goodbye

for @carry-the-sky. happy birthday, my friend! have a little post-cancellation kastle fic.

It’s three months, give or take, when Frank lets himself think about her again. Really think about her. Not in the passing kind of way, where he’s walking down some street and sees a bouquet of gardenias, like the kind he’d almost gotten her instead of the roses that day. Or when he’s sipping on coffee, and Karen’s face flashes like a mirage at him across the cheap Formica table – blonde hair almost white under the shit diner lighting, but those eyes still so blue as she told him he would never lie to her.

So – okay, so he thinks about her. He thinks about her.

(He wonders if she—)

Frank eventually makes his way back to the city again, after. Another day, another job. Madani thinks he’s meant for something greater than this – than picking off these scum-of-the-earth kinds of assholes that litter the streets of a place like New York.

He can’t believe that he was meant for greater, but. Sometimes, he does wonder. If a part of him – whatever part of him that’s not still buried deep down in the ground with his family – was meant to come back here. To walk these streets and feel the pull of her, always, even when that’s all he can afford to feel.

He tells himself that has to be enough.

He’s been laying low, since his return. Coughed up some cash for a three-hundred-square-footer in Brooklyn, but he crosses the bridge to the city most days, maybe even finds his way to Hell’s Kitchen from time to time too. It’s risky, he knows. If Murdock catches wind of him, they’d be lucky to walk away from each other in one piece. And Karen…

There’d be a different kind of hell to pay, if Karen ever found out.

His phone gives a single buzz in his pocket as he’s hunkering his way down 47th, and he stops in his tracks, nearly colliding with an elderly woman in the middle of the sidewalk.

“Excuse me!” she says in a shrill voice, bag clutched tight to her chest.

“Apologies, ma’am,” he nods as she makes a show of putting as much distance between them as possible, and then he fishes his phone out, hesitating for one absurd moment before glancing down at the screen.

Back in town yet, Castle?

He barks out a laugh. Chrissakes, Madani.

His phone buzzes again.

I have a job for you, if you’re still interested.

“Still,” mutters Frank, with a scoffing shake of his head. He thinks he admires her perseverance, but Madani’s gotta know she’s only wasting her breath.

He cuts south down 10th, toward Lincoln Tunnel. It’s a brisk day, and the wind on his face feels sharper than usual, considering he hasn’t bled much there in a while. He jams his hands deeper into his pockets, ignoring the insistent drone of Madani’s follow-up call.

He’s got a date with a park bench on the wrong side of town, and if he closes his eyes, he can pretend it’s the same bridge overlooking the water, and when he opens them again Karen’ll be there, waiting for him.

…

His closest call comes with, of all people, the lawyer. Not Red – the other one. Franklin Nelson.

Frank’s emerging with coffee two storefronts down just as another door opens, and he’s cursing himself for not seeing the signs when out tumbles Nelson with his back turned, adjusting his tie against the wind.

“Foggy bear, wait!” someone else is laughing, and a blonde lady steps out to chase after him, slinging a purse over her shoulder and reaching with her other hand to link around his elbow.

“I told him this was gonna make me late for work,” grumbles Nelson, but without any heat to the words. “Dad’s surprise party isn’t until tomorrow, don’t know why this couldn’t have waited – oh, crap, I forgot I told Karen I’d pick up some coffee—”

Nelson’s about-facing sharply, girlfriend following closely behind. He doesn’t appear to notice Frank crouched down in a corner by the 7-Eleven, hood obscuring half his face as he trains his eyes on the ground by their feet. The girl unearths some coins from her bag as they pass, clinking them onto the lid of Frank’s coffee cup without seeming to hear his low mutter of thanks.

He’s leapt up the moment he hears the door latch shut, brushing the coins into his palm as he goes.

He leaves them with a guy camped out by the train stop, a dog lifting her head from their blankets to blink sleepy eyes up at Frank, and he walks away harder, takes the steps two at a time and wishes – God he wishes—

…

Another text from Madani.

He shuts his phone off. Goes back to retrieve it ten seconds later from the trash can that he’d dumped it in, wiping it down and scowling as her message pops up on the screen.

Castle – offer still stands, FYI.

“You should call her back,” advises a man huddled down by the newsstands next to him. His face is like leather, worn down and weathered with age, with living. “Apologize for whatever it is that you did, so you don’t end up out here like me.”

“Already there,” Frank tells him, turning the phone over and over in his hand. Madani’s message lights up again each time, flashing and flashing until he sees it like a burn through his retinas even when the phone’s no longer facing him.

“Damn. That’s a damn shame.” The guy shifts, scratching at a spot on his back. “Maybe shouldn’t’ve stayed away from her for so long.”

Frank shakes his head, uttering a short, incredulous laugh. “Well, maybe I got my reasons, yeah? You think about that?”

“Doesn’t matter what I think,” shrugs the guy. “Does she think they’re any good? These reasons of yours?”

Frank turns away, jaw working furiously.

“Yeah.” The guy shouldn’t have any right to sound as smug as he does, and yet. “Yeah, I didn’t think so.”

…

He’s got no place in coming here. He knows it. He knows it, but he thinks it was always meant to be this way, him circling back around to her, even after everything that he’s done to push her away. Maybe a part of him had never left. And the rest is just – there, hovering right at the edge of some sharp realization, that he could try to be whole again if he simply took that first step. And a part of Karen must at least sense that. It’s why she’d never really given up on him, before.

It doesn’t change how I feel about you.

Frank wonders if she’d forgive him this time. If he’d even want her to.

It wouldn’t be anything close to what he deserves, that’s for goddamn sure.

He gazes up at her fire escape, counts the number of steps it would take just to be able to reach that bottom rung from his vantage point across the street. Her shades are drawn, the lines of them blurred out in the dim orange light. On one corner of the windowsill, wedged up against the glass, there’s a small stack of books. On the other, a vase. From this angle, the shadows folded into the fabric of her curtains look almost like flower stems.

Frank squints, and the stems disappear.

…

There’s about a week in between, where he feels himself inching closer to something, each time he drops by her block. He never goes farther than the patch of sidewalk across from her building, but it’s getting harder not to just careen over the ledge.

More than anything, he wishes he knew, in those moments obscured in half-darkness, whether he’s come to look for that after she’d spoke of, or if he’s come to say goodbye.

Then, one day he spots flowers in her window, for the first time since—

(They’re pale white against the cream of her curtains, their stems dark slivers of green, and he imagines them pricking the pad of his thumb, drawing up a spot of blood.)

Frank takes a deep breath.

…

She doesn’t look surprised to see him when she opens the door, swinging it back two-thirds of the way before stopping. Her lips are pressed tightly together, like there’s too much to say, or maybe there’s things that she can’t, either way he can’t read her and he thinks she’s never terrified him more.

Frank drops his gaze, mouth moving soundlessly until the words grind their way out. “How’d you know I was here, Karen?”

He’s not sure what kind of answer he’s expecting. That Nelson had grown a real pair of eyes, or that Red had managed to ferret him out of his lurking somehow. Or maybe Karen really just hadn’t known at all, and those flowers were never for him.

What Karen says instead is, “Dinah and I grab a beer together, sometimes.”

“That right?” he asks, trying to lay out an image of this in his mind. It sits strangely there, stumping him for a moment, and some of his bewilderment must show on his face because Karen’s mouth almost turns up in a smile before flattening again.

She leans away from the doorjamb, waving her hand in a worn-looking gesture before letting it drop to her side. “Besides, you…haven’t exactly been subtle, in your haunting of Hell’s Kitchen.”

He doesn’t know what to say to that, other than a gruff, “’S’what dead men do, Karen,” as she folds her arms and sighs at him.

“You sure you’re not just losing your touch, Frank?” She steps into the doorway, whether to move closer to him or to block him out of her apartment, he can’t tell. “Or was it because you wanted me to know but couldn’t tell me to my face?”

His eyes snap up to hers, twitching slightly under the sharp weight of her gaze. He shakes his head, wishing he could just ask her, What do you want from me, Karen? but they’re long past that now, and if he can’t find his own way to answer her, then.

God, he really doesn’t deserve this woman.

“I think I—” He shifts his body and tries again. “I think I needed to figure some things out. Karen. I was waiting 'til I felt like I was ready, and I don’t think I’ll ever be that.” But I’m here, he wants to say, but I’m here.

“Yeah.” Karen’s nodding, hair falling into her face, and she brushes it back, resting her chin in her palm for a moment. “I know that, Frank.” All of the fight in her seems to have ebbed slowly back, and he resists the urge to reach out and shake the storm back into motion, to make her understand she doesn’t get to let him off the hook so easy.

The look she gives him now is softer, but he knows. Fight’s not done. May never be done. And he knows this because he knows he’ll never stop fighting for her.

She’s stepped back into the door, letting it swing open further. She doesn’t invite him in, but she’s quirked an eyebrow up at him, biting her lip with another deep sigh and a shake of her head.

“You, uh.” Frank glances back and forth at their surroundings, doesn’t quite meet her eye. Tries to lighten his tone through the gruffness as he asks her, “So, you wanted to see me?”

Her voice is soft, forbearing, with a hint of gentle knowing behind it. “You didn’t?”

She’s holding back the clear start of a smile from him this time, and Frank. Christ. It’s taking everything in him not to step toward her, to—

Karen tilts her chin at him, the motion loosening another wave of blonde hair, and he can’t remember anymore why he was trying so hard to stand back from all this. He’s moving, swaying forward until she’s just an arm’s length away, and there’s something almost teasing about the way she relaxes her shoulder into the door as she watches him.

“You back to kill some people, Frank?”

He feels a corner of his mouth turn up. This girl. He licks his lips, lets out a quiet sort of laugh. “That was the plan, yeah.”

Karen gazes up at him, unblinking. “Have you?”

“I was—” Frank has to look away for a moment, finally turning back when he can. His eyes are steady, boring into hers, voice low and full with meaning. “I was. Working on it.”

Karen nods. Doesn’t speak for long seconds, and he measures them out in heartbeats, chest tightening hard enough it feels like it might break when she asks him, very carefully, “Still?”

Frank steps closer, close enough to feel the way her breath shakes with a small sigh, how her body moves away from the door to meet him.

His hand is inches from hers, but he doesn’t reach for her. Not yet.

She waits, gaze searching. He gives the barest shake of his head, and a single word, gravel-filled, a promise. “No.”

Something cracks open in her expression, and it means everything to him, her head ducking away as though she can’t have him looking too closely at the way she's biting back that smile of hers, and he thinks – he thinks he wants to make her do it again, and again, for as long as she will have him.

“Would you like to come in, Frank?”

He takes her hand in his this time, feeling the pull of her as he steps across the threshold, door shutting firmly behind them, and it feels like coming home.

#kastle #kastleff #kastle ff #kastlenetwork #kastledaily #happy belated birthday haley!!!!!! #sorry for the unpolishedness #i may go back and edit it up a bit later lol #but i wanted to have something for you because you've been so lovely and welcoming! #i can't thank you enough!