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monkey-network · 3 years

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Why Shrek IS The Best

Tastes can change, you know? And it’s less about “What’s good about this now compared to before”, more of “Why would you like this now as opposed to before”? Unless allergic, you didn’t get why dark cola or hot chips tasted bad to you as a child, but when you grow up you can come to understand and appreciate it. Shouldn’t pressure yourself, that makes things worse, but things can certainly align in helping this newfound respect you get for something you’d believe you would never want again. That really is where I stand with Dreamworks’ Shrek. As a kid, while Toy Story left me traumatized for a while, Shrek left me side-eyeing with how crass and ugly it looked and I never wanted to think of it. But, as I grew up to respect animation a lot more, 2018 was where I looked back at Shrek and soon come to understand how wrong I was and how much greatness it has that I now consider it an all time great. And with it getting inducted into the Library of Congress, I thought it was finally time to present what I see in this film. Let’s do this right with...

The SOMEBODY

Now this frame has been meme’d to death. If there’s anything iconic about this film, ‘bout the franchise as a whole, it’s the exact moment when our main character charges out of his outhouse as Smash Mouth’s ‘All Star’ gets going. But this honestly just says a lot about Dreamworks’ direction from its previous films where compared to Disney that’ll take their time making the setup before getting into the hype point for its lead, Shrek gets going in one minute if we don’t count the logo intro. Not even The Emperor’s New Groove, which was going for the same tone before Shrek even released, took more of it’s time with the fairy tale aspect of it in its intro. Shrek literally wipes his ass with the fairy tale aspect before giving us the SOMEBODY, all around a minute. This frame really shows that this is sticking to the Disney formula in some way because it’s wasting no time getting into it. It represents the more brisk pace Shrek has with pulling you into what it’s gonna be about. This overall frame works in its thematic and parody aspect and I’ve yet to see anything top this exact moment, not even the greatest films I’ll ever remember.

But enough about the fact that I made a whole paragraph about this one frame of the movie. Let’s dive into what I say is a piece of the heart for this film.

The Earnestness

Speaking of Disney, you probably notice that their films have some cushioning in their presentation, like they generally don’t show things with a straightforward lens; there’s some theatrics in the way their best movies present themselves. That’s not a problem, mind you, but that helped me understand how Shrek does things very differently whether you consider it parody or not. While it throws mockery at the played out conventions associated with fairy tales, especially its most subtle jab at copyright, it doesn’t full on say fairy tales are annoying and bad. Hell, the film IS a fairy tale adapted from a fairy tale about a fookin’ OGRE that can eat lightning and kills with farts. But, it’s an accurate and earnest way to view a fairy tale from a somewhat realistic lens. Let’s take Shrek’s journey for instance.

Typically, the main character would want to experience something more; explore new horizons, prove themselves, find their calling. Shrek off the bat doesn’t need or desire any of that. He’s content with his life, beside the angry mob he casually scares off, and throughout the film he’s not interested in anything else outside getting the squatters out his swamp. He happily makes a deal with the villain of the film to exile those innocent refugees off his land so he could then build a wall to keep everybody out. Bringing up Emperor’s New Groove again, Shrek and Kuzco are the few characters I know that are actively antagonistic even when they’re forced into their situation from outside forces. However unlike Kuzco that gets to be emperor again but learns humility, Shrek is in the same spot as before but learns that there are people out here that can love him for who he is. I can’t say there’s anything grand about that, but it doesn’t need to be unlike the many Disney or any film that tries to shower you with the grandest themes. The relationships Shrek has with Donkey and Fiona are the most grounded I’ve ever seen because they’re not only natural, they’re hardly dolled up with the bells and whistles made to either drum up the biggest laughs or tug the heart strings viciously. When I think about it, I honestly could see myself in Shrek. He isn’t made to be a legend, he isn’t some secret genius or lost prince, he’s just an every-man ogre that wants to live peacefully or meet SOMEBODY that doesn’t treat as someone to be feared or disgusted at. Everything Shrek says is something anybody could or would say if they were his shoes because he, and the film in general, is the most grounded without making it all distractedly meta or genre-savvy. This is generally helped by...

The Dounkaey

Everyone’s talked about how Donkey is the best confidant for Shrek and Fiona. How he’s most true to himself to where he’s the most openly musical character in the film, and how he’s the most balanced here with his comedic vs serious moments. But I gotta say it too: Donkey is one of the greatest sidekicks ever. He’s a motormouth, but is never annoying to where you wish he left the film. The couple times he is purposefully annoying, not for a joke, is when he knows Shrek isn’t being truthful. He truly gets to know Shrek on this journey, and is the character Shrek gets to capacity to actually loosen up to, so it’s fitting that he’d be the one to push Shrek when the ogre’s sounding more vague than usual. Even when he’s harshly insulted, Donkey doesn’t take it as bad as when Shrek kept trying to shut him out again in the 3rd act after the Hallejulah sequence which is the scene in every Shrek movie where’s there a super sad song because Shrek is alone and yadda ya. I’ll get to it in a bit, but he is as much responsible in providing Fiona that seed of doubt that Shrek wouldn’t love her as the ogre she is. Donkey is the greatest friend because he wants to be there for those who are okay with him being around, and while you could give and take sidekick animals in your notable films with them in it, this film really wouldn’t have happened without him. Speaking of Fiona, I won’t retread what’s been said before like with Donkey but I did want to bring up something I haven’t seen many talk about,,,

The Love for An Ogre

I’ve seen many say the scene where Shrek overhears Fiona talk about “Who could love an ugly beast?” and misinterprets that as her talking about him as a cliched or contrived downside to the film, but I feel that a defense can be made. It personally makes sense that Shrek would misinterpret that and take it personally because 1) Who else would Fiona be talking about? 2) How would he know she was talking with Donkey? 3) Why would he just barge in on her? 4) Has no one considered that this moment is parallel to when Fiona overhears Shrek’s conversation with Donkey the night before?

Fiona is very much the antithesis to Shrek’s character where she can very much be open about what she wants but is scared at the idea of anyone figuring out who she really is. She’ll gladly be gross, kick ass, eat the young of a bird she let explode, but won’t let anyone see her true face. That’s why her curse makes sense, and why Shrek would take a fondness to her despite her initial disdain of him rescuing her. Fiona’s a character where the surface level beauty is her weakness as opposed to Shrek where it’s internal. Which is why when she overhears Shrek open up to Donkey about his societal isolation, she’s soon more comfortable around him. And it’s why when she opens up to Donkey about her looks, Shrek would unfortunately take it personal enough. I ask again, why would Shrek barge in on a conversation he wasn’t aware of or who she was talking about to not take it about anything else but him when what he heard such a cut so deep, especially from a character that bears his similar issues? It also helps that Donkey was in on it, as Shrek feels reasonably betrayed by the only other person he’s come to appreciate in his life. Contrived as it seems, it’s thematically important and appropriate to the conflict of Shrek’s character and the film overall. Don’t know how this could be conveyed any other way because it adds up at least.

I just wanna know how Shrek got to Faarquard’s and back by sunrise like did he run cuz that looked like a huge distance to travel on foot but anyways...

I’m sure things could’ve worked out if Shrek knew, either by barging in that night or through Donkey, but I think it’s fitting that the climax takes place at the wedding. After Shrek and Donkey understand their friendship, after Donkey reciprocates the Dragon’s love (more ways than one), and when Shrek grasps the mistake he made to charge over to Fuccquad’s chapel, we get to...

The End

After everything, we get to the moment where Shrek and Fiona get to share their first kiss, Fiona permanently transforms into an ogre, and we get this exchange. One of my favorite exchanges in the whole film:

Shrek: “Are you all right?” Fiona: “Well yes. But I don’t understand... I’m supposed to be beautiful.”

Shrek: “But you ARE beautiful”

We don’t need any other vows to understand their relationship was built up to this. This moment where Shrek can reaffirm Fiona’s feelings of being able to be herself in every way, because she allowed him to be himself in every way before. That’s that mutual love, baby, that just gets me every time and makes this film one of the best romance stories I know as well, even when it isn’t solely about the romance. This is Shrek’s story, and there’s nothing more touching than seeing this outcast not only get another to view him as a friend, not only someone to love, but people, if only a couple, to actually wanted to get to know him. I know Shrek 2 expands on this more, and it’s considered a golden sequel, but I will always cherish the first movie for how much it tells us off the bat while appearing as a “Take That” to Disney films. This is the genesis of Shrek feeling more accepted for himself and society and it just bears so much good commentary while being a good adventure nonetheless. Like you could say this film indeed has... dimensions? “You were trying to meme about la-”

The Conclusion

Mentioning it, I always had this thought with the conversation Shrek and Donkey had of why Shrek didn’t just “be an ogre” and pillage Fuccnut’s fortress. It’s possible Shrek could’ve taken out Faarquid himself, but that would mean being the beast he knows people have shunned him for, grabbed the torches and pitchfolks for, made him feel worse for. Shrek enjoys being an ogre, but he doesn’t like how society makes him feel lesser as an ogre. That really is what the four films have been about for him and what I’ve come to appreciate about these films personally. It can be easy to love yourself even when there are others out here that stand against you, but it’s hard to consider that anyone else could love you for who you are in spite of how you try to present yourself. But if there’s anything Shrek showed me, it’s that it’s possible. There can/will be people out here who appreciate the real you, will be there as much as you want to for them, and can help you realize more about yourself as opposed to suffering to silence eternally. Generally ideal, I know, but this film in the least offered me that thought in the most balanced way possible. It’s incredible how much of a tightrope this film has in its parody and sincerity and that makes its induction in the National Film Registry and being the first ever Best Animated Award winner pretty justified all things considered.

I know this film, the character, has been a meme over the years. As Schaffrillas mentions in his video, the direction Dreamworks made because of Shrek’s success kinda turned it into a heel people clowned on because, in theory, it was nothing but a joke with the onions and the swamp and IT’S NEVER OGRE. Then again, like I said in the beginning, tastes change. I’d say with Schaff’s masterful analyses on the film series and 3GI’s Shrek Retold and Shrekfest, the perception of the film sure enough shifted like the perception of Megamind. It’s one thing for a movie to blow people away or leave them thinking it’s horrible beyond belief, it’s another to take the time to then look back and see how those feelings have changed. For Shrek, it’s a film that was able to trudge out of the meme era to be a film many consider a strong, rewatchable, and unique. Like the beauty of Spongebob, Shrek is a considered a classic because as in the times as it appeared when it released, this film actually stood on its own with the most enjoyable and meaningful timelessness, exploring the desired love for the self, that deserves to be recognized. What else can I say, people?

It’s The Best

#Shrek #dreamworks #dreamworks animation #animation #movies #cartoons #reviews #analysis #long post #Good Stuff

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multifxndomimxgines · 5 years

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(TWD) Rick Grimes x Reader, Again. (ONESHOT)

Hey! So an authors note, this is in NO WAY trying to romanticize self harm. It’s briefly mentioned here, and coming from someone who’s been through it, I am in no way trying to romanticize it. Other than that, enjoy! I’m also sorry if you don’t support the artist(s) of this song, I just thought it fit my vision well for this fic.

Song prompt: Again (Noah Cyrus & XXXTENTACION)

Genre: Angst/Fluff

Pairing: Rick Grimes x Reader

Word count: 1,164

WARNINGS: Self harm, slight violence, slight mentions of suicidal thoughts, angst at the beginning but it gets fluffier! SPOILERS!

- - - - -

You just made the worst mistake, And you’ll regret it darlin’. ‘Cuz once you give and then you take, You’ll only end up wanting.

“I love you.”

Those words echoed through your mind, every memory of him flashing through you. You ran to him, you tried so damn hard. You saw him pull his gun out of his pocket as he limped over the bridge.

“Rick.. Rick no!”

You were too late.. he’d already done it. He shot his only bullet left at the box of dynamite on the bridge. You watched as it exploded, your vision filling with the scarlet glow of the flames.

Those words.. those three words. They’d only been said once. Only this morning.

And you knew then, you’d never get to tell him you love him again. This man, this wonderful man, who saved you at the very damn beginning- he was gone. The man you fell in love with at first sight. The man who protected you. The man who never failed to be there for you.

It’s too much.. You drop to your knees, watching each of the rotten, disgusting corpses fall off of the bridge one by one.

How could you let yourself do this? How could you let yourself fall in love so easily in a world like this?

The day you confessed to him- The day he promised you a life with him.. It all seemed so surreal. Too good to be true. And now, you knew you’d been right. Mere hours after he said those three words.

Your knees sank into the mud and gravel, the gravel even drawing blood from your legs, but you were far too gone to care.

That’s the last thing you remember from that day.

Daryl pulled you away, and everything went black.

Was everything not enough? ‘Cuz one day you’ll wake up, And then you’ll say-

- - - - -

They never found the body. Not even a trace of it.

There’s no way walkers ate it, there’d be blood.

But there’s no way it was destroyed in the explosion, there’d be remains.

Part of you, just a tiny tiny part, still had hope. Hope that he’d come back.

But the other part of you just couldn’t get the vision of him as one of them out of your mind. His flesh rotting, clothes torn, covered in blood, and only wanting your flesh instead of your heart.

You had nightmares about it night after night.

And night after night, you snuck out to search for him.

You hadn’t been the same. No one understood why you were the most heartbroken one, but you were. You never talked. You distanced yourself from everyone you loved. Everything had changed. Everyone had changed.

As much as you hate to admit it, you missed the days where you were all together, struggling to find food and shelter, and only having each other. As much as you hated it at the time, it’s such a fond memory now. The pure joy that came over everyone’s face when something would go your way. You were all together. You’d never split. But now.. it was different.

Maggie left.

Daryl went on his own.

There was a fallout between Hilltop and Alexandria.

Everyone was uneasy.

So many people were dying.

All those wonderful people- the people who used to only have each other- couldn’t even stand to look at one another anymore.

I want to be your lover. I don’t want to be your friend. You don’t know what you’ve got, Until it’s gone my dear.

Judith was all grown up. She was about how old Carl was when it all started.

You’re so proud, but such a big part of you wanted Rick there to see his babygirl grow up.

Everyone’s time is limited now.

Limited time. Those words ran through your head on a daily basis.

You contemplated more often than not if it was even worth it anymore.

The world fell apart, Rick fixed it as much as it could be fixed, then it fell apart again when he was gone.

- - - - -

“Y/N..” You heard Rosita. It was just a mumble at first, but then a yell. “Y/N!”

“Huh?” You’d zoned out while guarding the gate with Rosita, thinking about your feelings and kicking a rock around to occupy yourself.

You heard the gates opening and footsteps against gravel.

Assuming it was just Tara back from her run, you paid no mind to it.

“Y/N..” That southern drawl you’d missed so much for the past years filled your ears.

Your eyes darted up to the figure twenty or so feet away from you, thinking this was just another daydream.

Then you saw him. It was really him. He looks the same but.. different. His hair and beard are greeting more than before, his face a bit more withered. He’d aged well, though. His eyes were still the icy blue you always got lost in.

You dropped your gun to the ground, running to him. Your body crashed into his, your arms wrapping around him as tears were already flowing.

“Rick! Wh-What happened? It’s been.. it’s been so long. I- Where-“ You stumbled over your words, not even knowing where to begin.

Everyone was crowded around now, they all looked so relieved. Like a weight had just been lifted off of their shoulders.

- - - - -

The last few hours had been spent going through the reason Rick had been gone for so many years.. Nine years. Tears were shed by the both of you, both of your eyes bloodshot and swollen by dark that night.

Somewhere I can't escape

I'm running from myself.

Somewhere in between in love and broken

I'm in hell.

You’d changed.. Would he still even love you? You were so broken, even with him back.. It began to feel like the walls were closing in on you as memories flooded in. All those past nights, rivers flowing from your eyes as your hands worked to carve your skin. Your thighs, your wrists, your stomach, everything had your pocket knife sunk into it at some point.

“Y/N?” His gravely voice broke you from your thoughts.

“Oh! Uh.. Yeah?” You responded sheepishly, your concern most likely showing on your face.

“I love you.” He said softly, his eyes meeting yours with a smile. At that, you practically jumped into his arms. Even when you thought you’d drained every tear from your eyes, you managed to sob into the crook of your neck, your response barely audible as you weeped, “I-I love you too, Rick..”

You fell asleep in his arms that night, having not even moved since the words were re-shared. The world felt at peace for the first time since you’d thought he died.. He’d kissed your scars, comforted you.. But most importantly- He got to tell you he loved you again.

You don’t know what you’ve got. Till it’s gone, my dear. So tell me that you love me again. Again babe, again..

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youmeanlove · 5 years

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3 5 6 2 10 FOR WHOEVER!!!!!

RAAAAA THANK YOU MAX!!! im gunna do it 4 specs bc i dont talk him abt him enough cuz i get embarrassed like every1 needs to clown me for having an insidious f/o

what song best fits the relationship between you and your f/o?

IM SO BAD AT FINDING SONGS UMMM!! idk.. i do know that ‘skinned knees and gapped teeth’ by deer and the headlights def makes me think abt us growing up together!! also ‘the strange and the kind’ by surf curse! neither are very romantic but im just :)))))

if you and your f/o won a million dollars in the lottery, what would you two do with it?

BUY SUPER COOL GHOST EQUIPTMENT STUFF!! we’d advertise spectral sightings better and maybe finally find an apt we both fit in!!! give elise money for her dream garden..definitelt buy some nerd collectors shit ... hell yeah...

do you and your f/o have any inside jokes?

i cant think of any rn bc im not good at that stuff but i DO know if we see someone pass out w say they ‘pulled a pretty hate machine’ bc one time we were going hard as hell to that album and i fainted from debydrationBDKSSBS

do you and your f/o tease each other? about what?

yeah i tease specs for his STUPID ASS australian accent every day of my life he needs to know he sounds ridiculous!!! he teases me abt that time i didnt know how to watch my kid and make a sandwich at the same time so i just put her in the giant pot i had sitting on the counter SHE WAS FINE he jjst thought it looked ridiculous.. also we tease each other abt all the times weve watched each other try and fail to hit on ppl bc god we are awkward

what’s something you and your f/o disagree on?

okay we have a totally polarizing view on movie genres like he likes rly ridiculous macho action movies and im all abt the horror! little baby ghost hunter cant even watch paranormal activity okay.... but also we tend to disagree a lot on safety when we’re out and about exploring! he’s definitely more cautious and will snap at me sometimes if i push him to pull some dangerous stuff when our lives could licherally be in danger LAWL im wacky!!

#THNK YOU!!!!!#ask #ask meme #ship: real love caught on tape!

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surveys-at-your-service · 5 years

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Survey #205

forget picking song lyrics, i’m going the hell to bed now.

Do you live by yourself? I live with my mom. Do you like cleaning? Does anyone???? Who is your favorite character from Harry Potter? I've never watched the series; not even a single movie, actually. So I don't have an opinion. Do you watch PewDiePie? Extremely rarely. He's funny, but I'm not interested in his channel's content anymore. Do you like "Despacito?" My sister showed it to me once when she learned I'd never heard it, and I found zero appeal in it whatsoever. Do you play Pokemon Go? It's a brilliant idea, and I really do wish I could play it, but here where I live, there are like ZERO PokeStops (where you get Pokeballs), even in cities, so it's pretty much impossible. Did you ever color your hair pink? No. Do you like Dr. Phil? I don't watch the show and don't know him as a person. Do you prefer to be inside or outside? Inside. Do you eat meat? Sadly. I'm HOPEFULLY quitting when I get to the weight I want; I wasn't getting the nutrients I needed when I was vegetarian to where my body was desperately clinging to what it had or something like that (basically, my weight wouldn't budge in a couple of months), but even still, I don't know if I could do it without depriving myself again. I'm just such a picky eater. Do you need to do the dishes? Yeah. Not desperately, but. Are you scared of clowns? No. Do you have any subscribers on YouTube? *checks* A very impressive 66. Do you believe in ghosts? Yes. Do you salt your popcorn? Yes. Do you like McDonald's? Don't even lie to me, you'll eat there. I don't mind it at all. Do you have a Steam account? Yes. Do you like gaming? Not as much as I used to, but yes. Have you ever played Five Nights at Freddy’s? No. I don't consider jumpscares to be genuinely "scary," but rather a natural reaction to surprise, but FNAF's are intense, and I know they'd have me jumping like crazy. That aside, the games aren't of my personal appeal to actually play (though it's a fun game to watch). Do you like horror movies? Yes. Do you like chicken nuggets? I love me my chicken nuggies hunty. Have you ever tried Akinator? Yes. Can you twerk? I don't know and don't care to. Do you like dabbing? It looks stupid to me. The meme of it makes me laugh, though. What was the last country you visited? I've never left the country. Do you know your phone number? No, actually. It is incredibly difficult for me to memorize sequences, and besides, it's not like I give out my number almost ever. Do you swear in front of children? No. What’s your opinion on Brexit? Shit, I don't even remember what it's about. So obviously I can't have an opinion. It doesn't affect me, anyway. If you want children, what are some of your reasons for wanting them? N/A When you cook a dish that has beans in it, do you prefer to use canned or dry beans? I don't cook, and you'll never see me willingly eat a bean. What were some fun experiments you did in science class as a kid? The two that sharply stand out to me are dissecting an owl pellet in elementary and a frog in middle school. Both were SO cool. What was the last strong emotion you felt? Excitement. After finishing a bowl of cereal, do you drink the leftover milk? Only ever if it's Cinnamon Toast Crunch that I ate. And even then, only sometimes. Do you use dry shampoo between washes? No. What’s the scariest thing you’ve ever done? Overdosing. What’s the most severe allergic reaction you’ve ever had to something? Nothing severe, besides pollen allergies flaring up. What’s your favorite sub-genre of rock? Hard. Who was the last person to get frustrated with you, and why? Mom, but she was more than frustrated. We were having a serious fight about her attitude towards Dad and his wife. What’s something that makes absolutely zero sense to you? Anti-vax shitlords. What’s your phone background? Lock screen is Darkiplier, home screen is Sara kissing my forehead. :'> Have you ever lived with someone you didn’t get along with? No. Do you have a fitness tracker? No. What types of animals have you had as pets? A billion cats, dogs, snakes, lizards, rats, gerbils, guinea pigs, rabbits, fish, box turtles, hermit crabs... and probably more. How well do you understand economics? Have you ever taken an econ class? Not well at ALL. I had one my senior year. What was the last fruit you ate? I had two bites out of a watermelon 'cuz I was really hungry, but we didn't really have anything as a snack. (I fast daily, so I have to watch when my meals are.) I'm not a big watermelon fan, but I hadn't tried these cubes before, and at least it was something. Can you remember your first day of school? I believe I can very faintly... very faintly. I think I had a complete breakdown because of my insane separation anxiety regarding my mom, or it was the complete opposite... alskdfjaweiajr it's like I can kinda see it in the back of my head, but it's super blurry. What’s your favorite movie? The Lion King. It was my favorite as a kid and became so again as an adult just truly acknowledging how damn good and meaningful it is. Plus the soundtrack was a banger. Would you rather jump out of an airplane or go scuba diving? Scuba diving. Do you get bored looking at other peoples’ holiday pictures? Eh. If it's a whole lot, yes, but as a photographer, I enjoy noting which ones I like and why I favor them. Do you give money to charity? Not currently, no. I have no money to give. When I do have a paying job, I plan on definitely donating any time Mark does a charity stream. Are you more into music or movies? Music, easily. When was the last time you went to a swimming pool? WOW. It's been years. Either when I still lived in the apartment or once at Colleen's in-laws', I can't remember which was last. Would you rather have a pet snake or a pet turtle? I have a snake, and I'll take another for sure. Have you ever seen a band live? Who was the last you saw? Just Alice Cooper. Ma and I are seeing Ozzy next year (if the poor man ain't dead), tho!!!! And he's gonna be with Judas Priest and Megadeth. We are NOT going to survive. Do people who use massive amounts of emoticons annoy you? Yes. Emojis, more specifically. If you're writing a sentence and you use an emoji after each and every goddamn word, it drives me up a wall. What was the last clothing item you bought? Underwear, I believe? Or a bra? What does your washing powder smell like? Idk. Normal? Do you have a dishwasher or do you do dishes by hand? By hand, which I cannot explain how much I loathe. It feels disgusting. Are there any cobwebs in your room? I don't believe so, no. Have you ever used a pick-up line and had it work? Ew, I'd never use one to begin with. Have you ever entered a modelling competition? Would you? No to both. The current modelling industry is so, so harmful. Did you keep any drawings/stories from when you were younger? Like around two years ago, I remember going on a mass destruction episode of those super old things, as they embarrassed me horribly, even though I know it had no real reason. Just everything I create embarrasses me. My mom has old school stuff, though. Who did you last have an argument with? Mom today. When was the last time you cooked for yourself? If you include putting things in the microwave with few steps... not that long ago. Maybe two days back. Do you have a safe? Mom does. When was the last time you saw a relative? Mooonths ago when Grammy and her husband were driving through. My brother and his son are visiting real soon, though!! Do you shout out the answers at quiz shows? Yes, lol. Have you ever been in a TV audience? I've been to like three-four hockey games, so yeah. Have you ever entered the lottery? Won anything? No. Well, Mom or Dad would rarely get those scratch-off tickets at random, but the most we've ever got was just like five bucks or so. Do you prefer crosswords or word searches? Word searches. Have you ever drawn on a wall in your house? No. Do you like making collages? No. Have you ever kept a scrapbook? Yeah. What’s your favorite video-game? Silent Hill 2 and Shadow of the Colossus. Sigh, I want a PS4 SO bad to get the SotC remaster. I actually teared up when I saw the opening cutscene for the first time, and I just marveled through the EEEEEEENNNNtire playthrough I watched. It's unbelievable. Do you remember any inside jokes from childhood? Not off the top of my head. I'm tired, don't make me think. Have you ever made up a word? Well, as a writer, I've made up names and places. A word itself, I don't think so. Do you get nervous speaking to people you don’t know on the phone? VERY!!!!!!!! Are you scared of anything irrational? You mean like, half my fears? Do you have a passport? What’s the picture like? No. Have you ever had a full fringe? (bangs) As a kid I did. Is there anything you would never admit to liking? Don't think so. What’s the weirdest craze you can remember? Fidget spinners. Do you use bug spray or fly swatters? Fly swatters. Then we also have this hanging cylindrical sticky... thing that flies and gnats are apparently attracted to with the smell, I guess. Works like magic, though I agree it's pretty cruel. Just stuck there until you die. Are you a clumsy person? Boy, am I. Do you have tiled floors in your house? In three rooms. Do you listen to any movie soundtracks regularly? No. Do you bruise easily? Way too easily. Like normally something simple won't leave behind an obvious one, but even a normal poke in the arm hurts a lot and leaves the spot sore for a good while. I was tested for anemia, but apparently, I don't have it. What would you love to learn to do? Play the electric guitar. Do you prefer monkeys or lemurs? Ehhh... lemurs as far as cute goes, monkeys overall. Do you watch movies based on the actors or the movie plot? The plot. Do you have any phone charms on your mobile? No. What is your opinion on sex without emotional commitment? That's a big 'ole honkin' nope. Last time you puked from drinking? Never. Have you ever gotten drunk and danced on a bar? No. What is your favorite simple ice-cream flavor? Vanilla. Though sometimes I prefer chocolate. Do you pay attention to calories on the back of packages? Only for dinner. I forgot the science behind it, but one of my meds for bipolarity only works to its full effect after ingesting at least 350 calories; I only get about a 20% effectiveness of the medicine when eating less. I know it sounds weird, but my psychiatrist is a goddamn genius, and I trust every word that comes out of his mouth. When was the last time you slept on the floor? Two years ago when I was living with Colleen and I didn't have a blow-up mattress yet. Are you currently wanting any piercings or tattoos? When???????????????? do I?????????????? not???????????????????????????????????? Do you wear flip-flops? That's pretty much all I wear just about year-round... I remember in 7th grade, one of my teachers asked me about it a lot and I just told her I didn't mind the cold, which was true. Pretty sure she thought I was lying and was too poor to buy new clothes or something, as she gifted me socks one day, which I thought was incredibly sweet. I miss my 7th grade teachers. Best school year. Who was the last person to kiss you on the cheek? Pretty sure my niece Aubree when saying bye. What is your favorite sauce to eat with spaghetti? Normal Prego sauce, I think. Have you ever seen a magic show? A little one as a kid. When was the last time you vomited and why? Months and months ago when I was testing a medication. Quit that shit real fast, as it made me sick so many times. Where do you usually sit when you eat dinner? Uhhh I eat in my bed usually, lmao. We almost never sit at the table. I normally do if Mom's there, though. How often do you get headaches? Ugh, often. Why did you call the last person you called? I was calling back about my job application that I was supposed to hear about yesterday. How many windows are in the room you’re in? Two. Do you have Facebook friends that you’ve never actually met? Yes. When was the last time you had your photo taken professionally? Not since senior pictures, pretty sure. I hated how it came out. I have a lazy eye when I smile, gah. How long does it take you to get to school or work? Currently N/A. Let’s say you had a baby with the last person you kissed? We're both female, so. And neither of us want kids anyway. When was the last time you completely broke down? A couple weeks ago in a totally random and severe panic attack. Do you have someone you can spill your heart out to? Yeah. Is there a person that you would do absolutely anything and everything for? No. I'm not gonna, say, murder someone just because they want me to. What’s something you really want right now? To go and get my tattoo cleaned up by a more professional artist alsdkjfalwei. I got the approximate cost, I just have to wait until I can afford it. This tattoo is so so so important to me and it needs to be perfect. What is your relationship status? Taken. What was the longest time you’ve wasted on a certain person? Not even two weeks lmao. I said yes to dating mostly out of fear of hurting his feelings, and he QUICKLY proved he was NOT for me. Are you listening to music right now? Yeah, my iTunes is on shuffle. Anyone you would like to get things straight with? I wouldn't want to be friends I don't think, but I REALLY want to see Jason one final time to tell him how sorry I am. I recently acknowledged just how fucked up I treated him after the breakup; he wasn't the only one who made mistakes. I sure as hell did. He deserves to hear it badly. I do believe our last talk was a good ending, but I feel me finally admitting that I fucked up would be the perfect one. What was the best thing that happened to you today? Seeing Dad for his birthday. When was the last time you did something for the first time? I talk-talked to some WoW friends a couple days ago, though very very briefly. I couldn't figure Discord push-to-talk out and I ended up panicking lmao. What color are the last new pair of pants that you bought? Black. Is your room clean? I should dust and vacuum, but the latter doesn't currently work. List all the countries you’ve visited. I've never left America. At what age would you allow your kids to dye their hair? Shit, whenever they wanted tbh. So long they sounded serious about it and it wasn't just a brief episode of "oh this would be cool." Which fast food place do you eat at the most? Hm. Wendy's or Sonic. When was the last time you weren’t lonely? Jesus fucking Christ, who knows. What kind of movies do you like? Horror, fantasy, Disney/kids' films, comedies, rom coms, and emotionally moving ones. Bats are not spooky or are they? They're adorable, omg. Do you think blue is a gay color? Fuck off. What's your opinion on gays? Fuck off harder. Do you like the song "Womanizer"? Don't even talk to me if you don't. Where is your favorite place to get fries? You can't live your fullest life without having Bojangle's fries at least once. Do you know anyone who was raised by their grandparents? Idk. Have you ever made your own pie from scratch? No. Who was the last person you had an in-depth conversation with? Sara. What was the last fast food item you ate? A hot dog. What is your favorite gaming console? You know PS2 was the best, you know it. What was the last major city you visited? Raleigh, if that even counts. Do you always have a stock of alcohol in your house? No. Have you ever had a pumpkin latte and if so, did you like it? I hate everything pumpkin-flavored. Is there an antique store in your town or city? I think so... Have you ever been to a baby shower? My sister's. Maybe others', but idr. Do you know anyone who has been to rehab? Pretty sure yes. How many romantic relationships have you been in so far? Genuinely "romantic" ones, two. Would you consider yourself to be a picky eater? I am 99% sure I am the pickiest human being to ever live. Have you ever lived in a house with a pool in the yard? Not a built-in one. What color is your toothbrush? Blue. Do you have gluten intolerance or know anyone who does? I know a few people. Have you ever slept in a car overnight? No. Have you ever fainted? Yes. Do you avoid conflict as much as possible? YUP. Do you like ice cream cake? I'm not a big fan. Have you ever made out with someone of the same sex? Yes. Where is your second home!? The place I'm second-most comfortable is probably Sara's. What song always makes you sad? I avoid listening to "The Mortician's Daughter" by Black Veil Brides unless I just really, really want to hear it. I always tear up due to memories. Have you ever played a game that required removing your clothes? No. Where is your favorite place to be kissed? Breasts and neck. Were you mean as a little kid? No. Who was the last person you hung out with? Dad. What is your mother’s name? Donna. What is your favorite song at the moment? I've been in true love with a heavy metal cover of "Invincible" from the WoW soundtrack for like a full month. What day will you never forget? The breakup night. Suicide attempt. My niece and nephew being born. Meeting Sara. Getting Teddy. First time hanging out at Jason's. 16th birthday. Alice Cooper concert. Putting Dale and Cali down. There's a lot. What was the last thing you took a picture of? Some crazy shit on FB to show Sara. Something you're looking forward to? Getting a goddamn job. What is God teaching you right now? Lul. What does Notre Dame Cathedral mean to you, and how has its fire affected you? I was devastated to hear about it; it was the one event that actually got me paying attention to the news. It is a monument of incredible art and history, and for Catholics, a house of their god. I am so thankful the damage wasn't too tremendous. What’s the last dumb decision you made that you beat yourself up over? I dunno. Surprisingly. What’s your favorite version of the Bible to read? N/A If applicable, do you underline verses in your Bible? N/A When was the last time you went to church? Not since Colleen had her extreme Christian phase two years ago. What’s the last song you listened to on repeat? "Radio" by Rammstein. That new album's gonna be bangin'. Does your town’s hospital have a good reputation? NOPE. It sure does not. I have no issue with the psychiatric care unit there, though. Every time I went to the ER for suicidal thoughts or the attempt, they were sweethearts to me. But as far as physical health, they do NOT have a good rep. I know someone's grandfather that nearly fucking died thanks to them, and I can't recall what it was exactly, but Mom had some complaints during her kidney cancer treatment. What is your hometown known for? Crime. Are you longing for and missing a toxic person? I honestly miss Colleen sometimes, but I can't go back to her. I can't. I'm done giving her more chances than she deserves. It was nice to actually have someone to hang out with, but she is just overall not a pleasant person. What’s your greatest longing? Financial stability, probably. Have you ever read a Bible verse and thought, “this isn’t true”? BOY HOWDY- What are you behind on? Being an adult. I am 23 and a SOOOOOORRYYYYYY excuse for one. Is there someone who’s stolen from you and never got caught? Yes. Someone stole our basketball hoop from my childhood home. Have you been lonely for most of your life? Most of my life, no. What color is your sleeping bag? I don’t have one. When was the last time you used a sleeping bag, and what for? When I lived with Colleen and slept on the floor for a bit. Do you live near the woods? Yeah, there's woods across the road. What do you want to be for Halloween this year? List 1-3 ideas. I wanna be the dumb blonde witch from Hocus Pocus, lmao. A pastel vampire would be pretty cool. And Rhett from the "Sleep Tight" video has instilled in me the great desire to be a steampunk toothfairy at least once. List five things people have been jealous of you for. Idk. List five things you have felt jealous of other people for. More than anyone, a friend of many friends' photography success when I can genuinely and modestly say I really think I'm better than her. That is easily the worst envy situation I've dealt with (and still do), as this is the one that is actually almost spiteful, wrong as that is. Then I have another friend who is a FANTASTIC photographer as well and is now a professional one in the fashion industry, I believe. Then there was a girl I went to school with called Cailin whose drawing skills were naturally INCREDIBLE since elementary school, and I remember back then, me and her would always get the most attention for our work, but she did moreso, but I wanted to be the "best" artist. Once I hit high school I just had great respect for her talent. Next, one of my former best friends Hannia was a natural GENIUS that got perfect scores on LITERALLY almost anything; she had the highest GPA in the entire school, while I was right behind her. And uhhhh five... I have been and still am jealous of my sisters for being proper, successful adults. What is your favorite shade of brown? Like a caramel tone, I guess? What color is your toilet seat? White. Would you rather live in an apartment or a house? Definitely a house. What’s one thing you had growing up that you miss now? Energy. Do you prefer kale, lettuce, or spinach? Lettuce. Do you listen to instrumental bands such as Hammock, Trentemoller, etc.? No. Have you ever gotten a manicure or pedicure? Just because my sisters went and Mom wanted me to hang out with them. I may have with my old friend, too. Have you ever self-harmed? Yeah. Never the answer. Do you have any eating disorders? No. I'm afraid of developing one once I (hopefully) get to the weight I want, though. Have you ever met a celebrity? No. Do you like Monster Energy or do you prefer other energy drinks? I hate energy drinks. They taste like poison. Do you plan on getting married? Yeah. Do you want kids? That's a big fat nope. What’s your sexual orientation? I don’t judge. Bisexual. At what time of day do you normally feel the best? The morning. Name one reason why someone should not commit suicide. YOU. CAN. GET. BETTER. Seek professional help if you feel suicidal, and after what I understand is a serious struggle, you truly can go into the light at the end of the tunnel. You've got, to our understanding, one shot at this. Don't end it when there is a possibility for a beautiful future. If you’re unhappy, what would it take to make you fulfilled? Have a job and be in school. Name someone you know who is a cancer survivor. My mom. Are you friends with any cancer survivors? I don't think so. Do you wish the sunrise and sunset lasted longer? Hm. Sunset, maybe. Idk. Name a country whose history you know nothing about. Lmao most. What is your favorite store at the mall? Hot Topic. Do you have a bed or do you sleep on a mattress on the floor? I have a bed. When was the last time you went for a run? Shit, not since high school gym. Do you keep Christmas lights up year-round? No. What did you win a scholarship for? Nowhere. What type of bug do you see the most often in your home? Flies. Do you put off things until the last minute? I tend to. Is your mom the same size as you? No, I'm smaller. Do you know any Christians who aren’t judgmental? No shit. Do you still think of that Gwen Stefani song when you spell bananas? Ha ha yup. Do you like the way your hair naturally is, or do you change it? It's fine. But I want it dyed badly. Do you know anyone who died accidentally by doing something stupid? Yes. How many different languages have you taken in school? Latin and German. How tall is your father? (Estimate?) Idk. Over six feet. Would you meet Miley Cyrus if you had the chance? No. What is your favorite slow song? Oh yeesh. Idk. Maybe "See You On The Other Side" by Ozzy. Do you believe in karma? No. Do you constantly check your cell phone? No. Only Sara or Mom ever text me, and I pick it up just if the green light is blinking (means I have a message). If there were aliens on earth, would you be afraid? Well yeah. If you could spend 1 hour 20 years in the future, would you? Yes. I want to see where I am, so long as I can change my behavior to improve that future if needed. Otherwise, I don't wanna know. Are your pets asleep? Teddy probably is, Bentley might be, idk where Roman is, but he likely is, I can't see Mitsu from where I am currently, Venus may be (no eyelids, so you never know) as she's in her rock, and Kaiju is awake. Have you ever wished you were an only child? Never. Have you ever hurt someone on purpose? Yes. Have you ever gotten hurt while sledding? No. Do you enjoy going through old pictures? It depends on the subject of them and my mental state. Kid pictures I'm always up for, high school ones are okay, though they can make me really upset with how healthy and skinny I was, and I deleted all photos I had on Facebook of Jason and me last year so I couldn't even risk looking at them ever again, as there's a good chance some would trigger my PTSD. Of all your exes, who do you think you had the deepest feelings for? Jason, obviously. Do you tend to have a lot of drama in your life? I have the most uneventful, bland life. No. When’s the last time someone was disappointed in you? Idk. What song are you listening to right now? Is this one of your favorite songs? "Alone I Break" by Korn. No, but I love it. What is something you have to explain a lot? My sweating issue. Gross to talk about, but I sweat seriously excessively, like you would not believe. It can be 70 degrees and I'll be sweating in seconds. People worry about it, and in VR, I've had to explain it so many times due to it affecting suitable jobs (I think we can all agree being drenched in sweat at work looks extremely bad). Hopefully I won't have to anymore when my doctor decides what to do about it. It's most likely a thyroid issue, which I have no clue about how to subdue symptoms of. There's really a shitload I have to explain lately between doctors and VR... Which compliment do you receive the most? From those that know me/see me, that I'm losing weight. From people in general, "I love your hair" or something like that. Who were you last on the phone with? My sister. What is one thing you have always wondered? Uh. Idk. I'm sure there's a lot, just nothing's coming to me atm... What do your friends think about the music you listen to? Your family? My friends and I like similar stuff, as do my parents, especially Mom. My sisters are the total opposite of me and don't enjoy metal and the like at all. Has anyone ever told you to grow up? Essentially. Do you believe people when they say they don’t judge people? Hell no. How many true friends do you have? Excluding family and my girlfriend as they're more than that, like... one or two, it feels like most of the time. Can you honestly say you’re happy right now? No. What is something you are exceptionally bad at? Doing math in my head or spelling up there. AND READING LIPS. Do you have a house phone? No. Who do you love more than anyone right now? Don't make me choose between Mom and Sara. How much money do you have saved up? I literally have $11. Do you like bright/neon colors? Yes, but I prefer pastel. What is your favorite wild animal? Meerkats. Do you ever eat breakfast? I almost always do. Do you remember who your first grade teacher was? Yes. Have you ever won any trophies? What for? Yeah, for A honor roll all through elementary school (save for 5th grade; I got one B and was so upset, lmao), then in all kid sports I played, everyone got lil ones, some from dance I believe, and I think there's one or two others I'm not thinking of...

#survey #quiz #questions #random

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umbraja · 6 years

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Half Baked Goods

This is a list of ideas I'm keeping partially to remind myself so I don't forget them but also to get some feedback on if anyone wants to see them developed.

If you're interested in any of these ideas being finished please let me know so I can move that up on my list of priorities. As you can see, I've got a lot of ideas all competing for attention so I'm only working on the ones that other people actually want to see.

Some of the things on this list are continuations of stuff I've already posted so I've got them linked to that.

Works in Progress

Things for the Kidge Zine - This beast is taking up almost all of my time.

Collab Artwork - This one's a drawing, might end up animated.

Monsters and Mana Fic - I HC Keith as a closet nerd so I just couldn't help myself.

D&D Module - Working with a few artists to make a 5e D&D module based off my M&M fic.

Rover Models - Prototyping 3D models with LED lighting.

Space Caterpillars - Prototyping plushies.

Kosmo - Prototyping plushies.

GoT AU - An art series that took over my life recently.

Keith (Jon) Snow - Keith looking badass with Longclaw and Kosmo as Ghost.

Pidgett (Ygritte) - Pidge in furs with a bow - not the ribbon kind.

Allurys Targaryen - Mother of Dragonmice.

Hunk (Sam) Tarly - Hunk and Sam are basically the same person - the sweet cinnamon rolls.

Lance (Oberyn) Martell - I considered Loras Tyrell but, come on, the spear.

Shiro - I need help with this.

VLD Mix Tape - A collection of songfics from various genres, set in various AUs, some canon, featuring various ships and all the feels.

Simple Man - Based on the song "Simple Man" by Lynyrd Skynyrd. Originally this was going to be for Desert Keith Week but I didn't get it done in time. Some real good Keith and Krolia angsty sweetness.

When I Die - Based on the song "Wolves" by Down Like Silver. Pretty much Keith's thought process in that last scene of Season 4. Sad AF and super short but I'm working on illustrations to make up for it. Will post when the art is done.

Rough Ideas

Possible One Shots - These are probably going to be shorts but I never can tell and could all end up sprawling AUs given my track record with trying to write shorts.

Red Thread - Gritty Soulmates AU, future noir conspiracy plot where the government pairs people by a system that supposedly traces Red Threads to match soulmates but it’s imperfect and corrupt. Keith is a hard boiled detective, Pidge is a tech genius and daughter of a renowned scientist who is openly critical of the soulmate pairing system and hires Keith to find her father when he goes missing.

Douglas Adams Tribute (working title) - Almost Canon AU style study where I tortur- I mean, where Shiro gets thrown into the sort of absurd adventure that you would expect from the creator of the Hitchhiker's Guide, Dirk Gently, and some classic episodes of Dr Who. I want this sooo bad but it takes so long to write like that.

80s Romance (working title) - Modern AU where Keith's parents are living one of those fiery, doomed romances that make for such great stories but kind of shitty lives. Thank the-ghost-of-keith-kogane for this one. I might integrate it into my Quiet Kind AU cuz it fits.

Dancing in the Dark - Modern AU where Keith works dispatch for the university police at his school and his desk just happens to overlook the dance studios where he can't help but watch Lance practice every night.

More to Lose - Canon Divergent AU in which everything is basically the same but when the war ends and they go home the others find out that Keith had motivations to save Earth beyond just natural heroic tendencies and he actually did leave something (someone) behind.

Identity - Canon Divergent AU where Shiro is acting strange (so maybe canon?) and has a bit of a mental break that leads down an insanity spiral into Lovecraftian horror.

VLD Mix Tape - A collection of songfics from various genres, set in various AUs, some canon, featuring various ships and all the feels.

Stuff that Works - Based on the song "Stuff that Works" by Guy Clark. Basically a music video for my Quiet Kind fic. Soooft Kidge and real friendship between the Paladins.

Champion - Based on the song "Champion" by Barns Courtney. Not just about Shiro.

In the Valley - Based on the song "Through the Valley" by Shawn James. Basically a music video for the Western AU listed below.

Only Human - Based on the song "Human" by Rag 'n' Bone Man. This just screams of Shiro.

Broken - Based on the song "Broken" by DNMO & Sub Urban. Something with Lotor.

Wisdom of Officer #3 - Based on the song "Girls on Trampolines" by Ludo. Cuz even Paladins need to have fun sometimes.

Probably Series - These are probably going to be longer works, anywhere from three to infinite parts.

Trip the Light - Canon Divergent AU where Keith comes into contact with some strange alien I'll just call it a drug and, well. . . Keith without inhibitions is a beautiful and terrifying thing.

In the Valley - Western AU where the Paladins have to save a frontier town being threatened by Rail Barrons (Galra). Shiro is the sheriff, Pidge is his deputy, Matt's the sawbones, Lance manages the cat house, Hunk tends the saloon, Coran is the priest, Allura is Coran's niece and the school marm, Keith is a gunslinger.

Rabbit Hole - Almost Canon AU where Voltron has fans and they are very much like the real fandom (without the ship wars) and when Pidge stumbles across it she shows the others which kind of breaks Keith cuz he doesn't like how accurate some of the information is and thinks there could be a spy and this could be dangerous so it's tinfoil hat time!

Elsewhere - Canon Divergent AU where the Paladins stumble upon a Fey Gate into a fantasy realm where they get to meet all my OCs and participate in the insanely huge uber plot I've been running D&D groups through for decades now.

Reflections AU - A canon compliant (for the most part) series of (so far) fluffy team bonding moments that lead to introspective scenes where Keith slowly opens up to each of the others about himself. Kind of an excuse to get down some of my headcanon for Keith's past. Parts of this are already published but here's some ideas for more.

Lance (working title) - Keith opens up to Lance.

Pidge (working title) - Keith opens up to Pidge.

Allura (working title) - Keith opens up to Allura.

Hell in a Handbasket - Series of gritty, realistic vignettes showing the progression of what went wrong in Keith's past to make him the way he is. Backstory behind the fluffy parts. Waiting to see what season 6 does with Keith's mom on this.

Country Christmas - Adorable vignette of Keith's childhood in the Texas panhandle to make up for that darkness and prove it wasn't all bad. I didn't finish it in time for 2017 but I'll probably have this out for 2018.

Lone Star AU - Modern AU, Lance PoV, Klance that was going to be a much longer work but I don't have time to finish it and reader feedback suggested it would be better just to focus on the relationship dynamic between Lance and a closeted, slightly homophobic, rodeo Keith anyway. So that's what this is. Parts of this are already published but here's some ideas for more.

Au Naturale - Lance talks to Keith about skincare, or the lack thereof.

La Grange - How Lance met Keith and what started his Telecaster crush.

Bullrider - Lance observes one of Keith's hobbies.

Rattlesnake Roundup - Texas has some strange traditions and Lance can't wrap his head around this one so of course Pidge forces him to attend.

Hermanos AU - Canon Divergent AU, started as a request fill for a 5/1 where the team slowly realises that Keith and Lance are adopted brothers but I'm seriously considering expanding it into a multipart AU.

Homecoming - The Paladins return to Earth and Keith goes home with Lance. Waiting to see what season 6 does with Keith's mom on this.

New Kid - Look at the past when Keith first went to live with the McClains.

Brothers - Rewrite of the original fic but from Keith and Lance's perspective.

The Paladin Saga - Canon Divergent AU that was going to be an insanely long work where I keep mostly to canon but fill in plot holes with eldritch horrors, tie up loose ends in ancient myths, and shed light on the "legend" of Voltron to show a much darker history than Allura would like to admit while also letting humans be a little badass for once. This one was gonna be a long, sprawling epic full of Lovecraftian horror and moral ambiguity but I don't have time to finish it and reader feedback (or lack thereof) suggested I should focus on my fluffier works. Here's a list of chapters anyway, not a complete list mind you and possibly a bit out of order:

Is it Real - The Paladins refuse to believe Kolivan when he tells them Keith is dead.

Space Between - Keith wakes up in a strange place and finds something Dark there.

Fire and Darkness - The Paladins get Keith back but the Darkness has affected him.

Sins of the Father - Lotor tells the Paladins what Zarkon told him of the Darkness.

Waking Dreams - Keith struggles with the Dark, Shiro loses time, Lance gets visions.

Scorched Earth - Shiro loses control, Keith puts him down, Hunk keeps them all alive.

Things I've Seen - Lance tells others about his visions, Coran tells them about the Price.

King of Death - Zarkon returns from the dead (again) with a new weapon.

When the Arm Breaks - The Red Lion pays a heavy price to save the others.

Tides Turn - The Galra rally under Zarkon and his new power.

Devil You Know - An unlikely ally offers the Paladins help.

Fool's Errand - The Paladins make a desperate move to save Red.

The Dreamer Awakens - The Paladins find a sixth Lion and Allura gets an upgrade.

A Sword Reforged - The Paladins return with Voltron made whole and defeat the Galra.

At What Cost - The Coalition takes power but peace isn't easy and bills are due.

The War to Come - The Paladins learn of their part in an ancient prophecy.

See You on the Other Side -

#umbrajasfics

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yoongiandchiminie · 7 years

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P R E S S U R E { 4 }

;series;

masterlist

{Part 1} {Part 5}

Pairing: Reader X Yoongi

Word Count: 8,965

Genre: Romance, Smut, Fluff

Warnings: Smut, daddy kink, cursing Summary: After dating for almost 3 years, the armys and Yoongi’s label have found out about your relationship. Now you have to deal with it in your extraordinarily normal life.

Twitter was blowing up. The official BTS account had tweeted about a new opening act for the final show called “Slow Burn.” Sadly, Anthony tweeted about our name being Slow Burn a few hours ago and so the armies had figured it out quick enough. The reactions were mixed, but I just brushed it off. Everything about my mentions blowing up was downgraded due to my life ceasing soon.

“So, guys. I’m kind of offended nobody thanked me for getting us here. Jimin and I are best friends after all.” Alicia chided herself and I just heard Anthony groan.

“Yo, shut up dude. You know this wasn’t you.” Then he paused for a moment. “You know what? All you, Alicia. You get to do all the talking tonight. I’m excited for your first voice crack. I wonder if people will laugh or just be confused.” he snorted at his own joke and she just rolled her eyes.

“Hey Alicia.” she was sprawled on one of the couches as I paced around the room. “Is this karma?”

“Nah, this is a super sick chance, but karma is coming soon. Maybe you'll trip tonight.” She was probably right. I was clumsy.

“Fuck you, dude.” With that final quip, the door to the dressing room opened and Ji-Hye walked back in. She was a little fidgety, but she seemed fully put together and in control of her job, as stressful as it seemed.

She went to open her mouth, but before she could Anthony was already loud. “Hey Ji-Hye, quick question. Are we wearing these clothes on stage or do we get super cool clothes? You know, maybe that are breezy? Cuz I sweat- A lot.” Julianna punched Anthony and waved off his words, telling Ji-Hye to completely forget him and that we were grateful and comfortable and super duper grateful again. The woman only laughed us off, shrugging off our crazed words.

“I can see about getting you guys jeans and things, if you'd like.” We all nodded. It's be nice not to be afraid to make a sudden movement without ripping a seam. Knowing me, however I'd stay in this dress for the performance to make Yoongi happy. I knew he'd love to see that. “The stage you will be playing on is a bit different to sound check. Earlier we were trying to brainstorm would what work the best simply because the way the BTS stage is set up. It's set up for multiple movements around it and the other opening act was an idol group so we didn't have to make any adjustments there. However, you have instruments. So, we pulled a few strings and got you guys a rotating stage.”

We were all on our feet and moved closer to the woman. “Rotating?!” I exclaimed, “Can I get strapped down to it? I'll fall and die.” She was full of laughter as we all began to voice our concerns.

“Can I be strapped to Y/N? If I fall, she's going down too.” Alicia mused.

“What if it moves too fast and my skirt flies up? I can't stop mid line to adjust it…” Julianna nervously began tapping her fingers together.

However there were the guys. “That's so sick! Holy shit, our one night only got a lot cooler!” Anthony was ecstatic and Luke was right by his side.

“Does it just move around the entire stage throughout the set?” Luke was the only one with questions. Us girls still had hope we could get out if that full well knowing it was decided.

“Ahh, you boys keep me going.” she laughed, “The entire set it will move and slowly spin around the stage so that you never have your backs turns to one audience for too long. Between songs when you do your talking bits-” I didn’t even have to say it because I guess my popped eyes did. “Yes, talking parts. Basically explain what happened and that you’re grateful after your first song. Then explain a little bit about yourselves, you can do a cute little introduction thing if you want. Then plays two more songs. Talk about BTS. Another song. Thank them again, ask if they’re ready for BTS. Last song and after a bow and thank yous as you jog off of the stage. All good?”

We all nodded and she was gone again. I’d gone back to sitting down and was just running through speeches within my head. I was genuinely grateful for this experience, but I didn’t want to come off cocky or nervous even though it would be obvious I was dying. My movements tended to show my nerves, mainly by falling. I also had this really awkward hand that I didn’t know what to do with most of the time. It was- bad.

“Can we barricade the door until 10 minutes before show time?” Alicia asked, rolling back and forth on the entire couch she was taking up.

“I don’t think so.” Luke sighed sitting on her legs since there was no other place to sit. “Can you believe this shit guys? I feel guilty. I feel like we don’t deserve this and you all know we don’t… It’s all circumstances and we just got so damn lucky. Thank you Y/N, maybe now I’ll believe you picked the right guy.” Everyone except for me burst into a fit of laughter. I brushed off his spiteful comment about Yoongi. It wasn't the time.

Luke was right. It was all luck honestly and we were lucky for once in our lives. This wasn’t a normal thing that really happened, but here was the opportunity. In my anxious fit, I had decided not to speak no matter what they said to me. It was a lot of teasing of how well I’d do tonight with standing up and gravity, not my talent. I knew I was good at singing. It was always my fall back if my life fell apart which was slowly happening. Slowly.

For the next hour we sat in the room, doing beyond worthless things. I think Anthony had a fidget spinner and Julianna just doodled while Alicia napped and Luke kept going over chords on an acoustic guitar. I guess this was all of their ways of coping with anxiety while mine was just staring at something and thinking of the overwhelming darkness that was inevitably going to destroy me. So, it was a good time.

Luckily, we got clothes throughout the time. Well, I just got flat shoes. The man who brought them in said that Yoongi looked annoyed when he heard that I requested new clothes and he said, to quote, “What the actual fuck, I bought that girl a nice dress and she is going to shake her fucking talent off in it and I’m going to watch and be angry if she comes out in SKINNY JEANS.” The guy really emulated my boyfriend's attitude within the words, sadly. Now everyone was in jeans and cute tops and here I was looking like an idiot in a cocktail dress. I’m gonna make that joke on stage. Yeah. I’ll be funny. No I won't.

There was no press that came in to stop and we were all grateful for that one. Each one of the BTS boys did stop in for a quick moment while running through interviews. Jin was first and he came in to fix Anthony’s hair, saying he shouldn’t wear a hat on stage. The moment he left Anthony put the snapback back on, claiming his new haircut didn’t look good without it. Next was Jungkook who just held Julianna??? I was confused too.

Then Yoongi came in and gave me a squeeze and hi fived everyone. He wished us luck and told us he was proud of us. And that he wants a shout out. Asshole. Then Tae came in and picked up the acoustic guitar and knew nothing. Like, he couldn’t understand how to do an e chord when we tried to explain it. Hoseok and Jimin came in together. Hoseok gave us this long speech and Jimin just sat on Alicia who was in and out of consciousness throughout this time.

Namjoon came in last and sat us down. He gave us another run down of how it was going to go and made sure to stress that the ARMYS were loud as all hell and he loved it. Then he told us how good we were and how grateful he was that we were here and the last night of tour wasn’t ruined by a flaky opener. He left with hugs and a good luck.

“Show time in 2, come wait by the curtains and get ready to go.” Ji-Hye stuck her head in and waved us along. It was the moment we all stood up that I think it sunk in. All I wanted to do with my life was work, get married, and start a family but here I was about to play for almost 70,000 people because my boyfriend needed a favor. Wow.

The walk up to the stage was stressful. Everybodies eyes back stage were on us and I knew that if we fucked this up- I was done for. Not only would I be putting a strain on Yoongi, but if this was messed up it would account for the entirety of BTS. Then they’d find a way to get rid of me for sure and maybe even make Jimin stop being friends with Alicia. I couldn’t let her down here, I couldn’t ruin any friendships and I was too in love to fuck up my relationship. So, I’d let that push me.

At this point, we could see the lights slowly dimming out on stage and for the next moment we were alone. It was just the five of us standing in a circle. I had Luke on my right and Alicia on my left. Julianna stood next to Luke and Anthony beside her. As I looked through their faces quickly, I knew I was the only one who was extremely vocal about being nervous but they had it too. The wrenching feeling of making a mistake on their only shot… We could do it.

“We’re capable.” I put my hand into the middle. “We’re totally able to do this… C’mon. We’ve been playing these songs for the past 2 years. It’s basically all we know. We rock.” Alicia placed her hand atop of mine and nodded. “We won’t screw up.” Anthony’s hand was down. “We got lucky, but we’re doing them a favor. This isn’t some weird pity trip.” Julianna’s hand was down. “You guys are my best friends and I wouldn’t be able to do this if any of you weren’t here.” Luke’s hand was down. “All the love in the world for my favorites.”

We exchanged glances and nodded at the same time. In unison we counted down from 3 and threw our hands in the air, moving in for a quick group hug.

“20 seconds!” Suddenly instruments were being thrown onto them, the straps being quickly adjusted by stage crew to make sure they were low enough. “Drummer out first!” some voice in the distance called. “Wait 5. Guitars and Bass! Lights on, vocals.”

“We can do this.” I whispered as the five second countdown went off. Then the lights went off and my heart sank as I watched Anthony run to the kit on the stage surrounded by cheers. He began to play a simple beat and they clapped along to it. Lights began to play in motion with his drumming. Then the rest of them ran out, playing along to the start of our first song. It was called Tonight. They were starting with Tonight.

The countdown hit to three and I knew my vocals had to come in after the next riff. Before I went out, I pulled out one of my earpieces. I dashed for the stage as it began to move and hopped onto it, grabbing onto the mic and pulling it off of the stand. Here it comes. Here I go. “And every book it reads the same and all the pages never change. Growing tired of this same thing feeling.”

As I ran through the lyrics in time with the music, the memories of this song came back to me. I’d written it when I was 17 with Luke. It was my favorite Summer. We were going into our senior year and everything was amazing that summer. We’d all gotten morning jobs so every night we were out on the town and wherever our fake ids could bring us. Everything til that summer had sucked. School sucked, but here were the half free days that sung freedom.

“So let me take you out tonight, all that I can show you. Breathe these city lights, Let the beat control you. You’ll forget your life, everything they told you. You could lose your mind, if you want I’ll show you.”

It was our first time truly being free. We could drive at this point and the riff just came to us. We’d lived our lives as courteous students, never really breaking too many rules. We all had this comfort zone that we were hiding in, sitting around doing nothing. That year we decided to break past the harder parts and live a little. Enjoy our years. This was the last year we had before we were adults. We decided to make the most out of it.

I moved around the stage as I sang, falling into the music. Our music eased me. I was here with my family and in the crowd were my friends, even if some of them were possibly vomiting from seeing my face up here. They were lucky they didn’t have to see me vomit from this.

It was time for the bridge that was purely backed by bass. I made my way over to Julianna and she smiled, totally ready for her time to shine. It was the chorus a bit slowed down and my favorite little thing in this song to do. I clapped my hand against my leg to get it going and saw the rest of the band clapping along too except for Julianna. Here was her moment. “So let me take you out tonight, all that I can show you. Breathe these city lights, Let the beat control you. You’ll forget your life, everything they told you. You could lose your mind, if you want I’ll show you.”

The chorus came again, back up to full speed and by this point I was totally in my element. I loved this. I probably wouldn’t stop complaining, but this was my element. The last few riffs rang and the song ended, the crowd erupted into cheers and I couldn’t help but to laugh and smile. Everyone else was breathless and had the same look on- amazement.

“Hey everyone!” Wow, this was loud. There was a moment where I thought to put my other ear piece in, but fuck it. I wanted to hear them. “We’re Slow Burn, all the way here from America. A bit of a foreign thing right? Oh god, you guys definitely can’t understand me.” Laughter came from them. “Maybe some of you can. If you can, help out someone who can’t. I talk a lot and it’s a little irritating. Anyways, hope you guys liked that first song! We’re super grateful to get this awesome experience and before we go on- I want to thank BTS!”

Wow, that was loud again. Super loud. I slipped my other ear piece back in, but I could still hear them. This was amazing. “This thing on?” Anthony began his little talking thing.

“Yeah, I think it is.” Luke called back through his mic and wow did the crowd go crazy for them. They were two attractive guys and obviously these girls knew attractive. “I’m Luke, I’ll be playing you guys some nice rhythm guitar up here! I also play a little bit of piano too. The keys.” Everyone was full of giggles.

“Hey, I wanted to go first!” Anthony laughed, purely putting on some weird act the two of them had probably planned ahead of time. I’d never truly understand their goals here. “I’m Anthony! I’ll be playing you guys some nice drums. You know the drums are the real grit of the songs right? You’d be nothing without me and the bass line. The rhythm section.”

Julianna looked like she was about to pass out but I saw her quickly go towards her mic. Had they planned out this cute little thing and I was left in the dark? Of course they had. “Julianna here!” It was adorable. “I’m here to be the other half of the rhythm, some nice smooth bass all night!”

“Hey!” Alicia’s voice cracked almost immediately and the rest of us on stage burst into laughter. “I’m Alicia and I swear I’m not going through puberty. I’ll just be keeping my mouth shut on some lead guitar over here.” she quickly backed away from the mic.

“Uh, hey! I’m Y/N! I’ll be singing if that’s okay with everyone!” Oh boy was I awkward. “So, we’re Slow Burn and we have a few more songs if that’s alright with you guys! We’re gonna slow it down a little bit.”

The lights dimmed and Luke made his way to the keyboard that was close to him and played the first few notes of our song Let Me Hear. My vocals almost started right away and I loved this song. If I was going to be honest, this may be my favorite one. I’d written this song alone in full. Music, lyrics, composition. It was a little dark and twisty for a love song, but it was my love song. “I wish that we could hide away. Wear this flesh and rule the world. Through all our lies- our disguise, but they’ll never get to realize.”

I’d written this a few months ago when Yoongi and my relationship had gone public. I cried a lot at that time but he told me to channel it into something. He didn’t really mean a song at that point. Actually, he’d told me to get a second job or take boxing lessons. I wasn’t quite sure why me overexerting myself was his best suggestion, but it was.

Instead, I had found salvation sitting in front of the out of tune piano in my living room. When my parents finally separated, my mom said this was the most important thing she had to take. It was her parents first piece of furniture together and it held a special place in her heart. When we were apartment shopping, I swear this was the most important thing to her. She would have probably taken this piano over me at this point and sent me off to live with my father who had my sister.

The notes in the song slowly came to me and I found myself simply singing these words as if I’d known them my entire life. This song came so easily to me at that time. I guessed it was all of the pent up emotions I felt, but the ominous lyrics flowed. The message was clear, even if it was a bit hidden within this weird love song. “I keep calling out your name, so you know I’m still here to wipe away your tears. If we fall, at least we’re falling as one in the end, let me take your last breath.”

As I sang through the chorus one last time, I searched the vip balcony for Yoongi. I could see his figure there standing close to the edge, the lights blinded my view. His eyes were focused on the stage as it slowly moved around and in that moment I was so into this song. It wasn’t until it ended that I realized I had begun to cry during it from the raw emotion I was putting forth. With the last ominous chord at the end, we quickly picked up into a faster song.

X.U. This song was me again with Alicia helping with it. I tend to write most of our songs. Everyone else was capable but the sad part was that they were extremely lazy and never spilled their ideas unless I reached out for help on one of mine. “I’ll be there, hold on, I’ll save you somehow, so where are you now?”

This song was never meant to sound like as much of a long song as it did. It was written when the two of us were the only ones left at home. When everyone had gone away to school. It was primarily focused on the bonds we’d created together and that no matter what, it was us. The five of us always.

As the song seemingly ended, I heard a few claps, but the music kept going. It was just they keys now and Anthony leaned in towards the mic, the kick drum the only thing still going. “Alright everyone! I need you to get low for me, as low as you can go! Then when I say so, we’re gonna jump up and go crazy! Well, you guys. I kinda can’t.”

I went down onto one knee and as the music stopped, I jumped up almost into the words. “So if you wanna fight with me! Then go ahead, it’s destiny. Cause all I wanna do is set you free, you will be the death of me!” I was trying hard to still be fun and not completely lose my breath while jumping around. I had some belting to do here and I wasn’t about to mess up at the coolest part of the song. I just couldn’t help it, this was way too fun. I’d probably have a meltdown soon, but right now this was sick.

The song ended and I stood still for a moment to catch my breath, I caught eyes with Luke, who quickly stepped forward and began to yell into the mic. “You all having fun?!” He was met with screaming. “Yeah! We are too! We’re stoked to be here tonight! We’re a band all the way from America and wow! You guys are beautiful!” I could see some girls swooning from this guy. What a charmer.

“We just want to say another big thank you to BTS!” I chimed in, making my way to the front of the stage. “We wouldn’t have been given this opportunity without them and wow! How cool are they?” My enthusiasm was breaking. “But you don’t wanna hear this stuff, how about some more songs?!” Cheers. “Alright!”

The piano started slow. Here came When It Falls, the most vocally challenging song we had in our short little set for me. It was the hardest for all of us. It had backup vocals, a sick guitar solo, and the drumming was hardcore. It was speed drumming that Anthony could do in his sleep. It also had a bit of scream singing that Luke was super excited to do here. This song was always fun to play because it pushed us all to our brinks and we absolutely loved it.

“There’ll be no rest, There’ll be no love, There’ll be no hero in the end who will rise above. And when it ends, the good will crawl. The shining light will sink in darkness, victory for hate incarnate, misery and pain for all, when it falls.”

I’d written the piano in the start for this song and the guitar then had approached Anthony about it. This song felt like it was going to be angry and his girlfriend at the time was giving him all of that. He was pumped when we started this and immediately had ideas. I’d expected an angry breakup song, but he’d given me this much darker one.

His girlfriend at the time, Belle, was vindictive, manipulative, and always played the victim. I knew that he wasn’t happy in that relationship, but I couldn’t make his choices for him. After hearing the lyrics for this song, it was almost crazy to me how he’d brought that relationship into war terms. He’d written a song about war.

“This is not a tragedy, it’s not an accident. You placed your faith in fools and now you’ll smoother in lament. They play the part of allies, claiming peace their only goal, but once the fight for power starts, they’ll eat each other whole. Their iron gloves point fingers, they’ll wage a war of blame and mankind will wilt in pain.”

As the song drew to a close, I knew these were our final words and this was where we were almost done. As fun as this was, I couldn’t wait for it to be over so I could say we fucking did it. Even though at the same time, this was all I wanted to do.

“How are we doing everybody!?” I called out. “I can’t hear you~.” I teased and in sync we all pulled one of our earpieces out and cupped our ears with our hands. “Damn, you guys are loud, but I guess it’s because you’re excited. Who here is excited for BTS?!” They went crazy every time, it was amazing. “Well, so are we! We have one more song for you guys then it’s time to go super crazy! Here we go!”

This one had to be my favorite to actually play. It was called Hey Kids! It was a real performance oriented song. It had some cool talking parts and the guitar was absolutely amazing in it. I got to get some cool backup vocals from my girls and do some cool mantras in it. This song was written by all of us off of a riff that Luke had written. “Turn up the temperature, entice that golden taste. Give it some flavor, flavor, flavor. Just wanna hold your hand.”

We had written it without lyrics at first as a demanding song. Then it kind of felt- empty. So we did something that a lot of bands and artists could almost be afraid of. Hell, we were afraid. This could either ruin this song or make it fucking awesome. Happily, it did the latter.

As the long talking part approached, I made my way towards the rest of my band mates instead of the front of the stage. Every time I moved, I could feel the stage slowly rotating around me.

"You know? I'm really tired of your piss-poor attitude. Mentally, physically, emotionally. Show me some respect, jeez! Do you - Do you have any?! It's like you don't care about anyone but yourself I swear you do it to piss me off … You DO don't you?!"

Accomplished and it wasn’t super awkward. The smiles on everyone's faces were enough to prove me right. They were probably all nervous about the talking too especially cause I mainly joked around with it. I never really recited it the way it was written when we’d played it over the last 3 years.

“Let’s drive them crazy! This time, let an evolution shake our lives, we’ll overcome the chaos. Let’s drive them crazy! Sweet destiny, you are who I am living for-oh oh. You drive me crazy! I won’t forget, I will find you once again, just tell me where to go. Let’s drive them crazy! So, bring it on, I’ll challenge fate again and again Ohh- Oh Oh! Just wanna hold your hand!”

For the last line, we all spoke into our mics. “Now swear to respect the hero!”

Then, it was over. The moment that had been in all of our dreams since we were younger had happened and it was real this time. “Thank you!” I yelled into the mic. They placed down their instruments and we all ran to the front of the stage as the rotation finally came to a half right in the middle. We stood in a line with the guys on the side and me in the middle and put our arms to each other's backs, taking a quick bow all together. Then, we jogged off.

The second we reached backstage, I was greeted by Yoongi who ran over to me and picked me up, spinning me around. The entire crew was clapping for us, along with the rest of BTS. “Holy shit, you smell. Take a quick shower so you can see us perform.” Yoongi spoke in an obnoxious tone but he was quiet enough that only I could hear him. “You were amazing, baby. I couldn’t be any prouder of you.” he stood behind me with his arms wrapped around my chest, “Of all of you, really. Thank you for stepping outside of this one's comfort zone and doing us a favor.”

“You guys were amazing!” Namjoon came around and gave everyone high fives. “This was such a cool thing! Our best friends, rocking! You guys rock! We gotta write a song together because those songs were cool!” We couldn’t help except to smile and say thank you for the compliment.

“Holy shit, you guys do that almost every night?!” Anthony exclaimed, fist bumping everyone within a close enough range. “Major props, I need to hit the gym again.”

“See, you say that but you won’t do it.” Alicia joked and he just shot her a look. The four of them were sweating their clothes off, but I wasn’t as bad. I was probably bad, but not as terrible as them. They were holding heavy things and banging, but I was just attempting to be confident on stage. To have some sort of stage presence. I hoped it worked.

“We can train together! I’m off for the next two weeks!” Jin called to Anthony and slung his arms around him and Luke. “The three of us will train!” The two American boys vigorously nodded and I think everyone in the conversation knew they wouldn’t stick to any kind of regiment. They wanted to, but they easily gave into food. Lucky for them, they had fast metabolisms.

Yoongi pulled me away from the group, taking me towards where I’m guessing the showers were. I’d seen the American shows of this tour, but he was super excited for me to see this one. He’d always go on and on about how the shows home in Korea were something special and this would be my first time seeing it. Since we’d been in a secretive relationship, I was never able to truly fly out for these special occasions. Now I was able to, which was nice.

“Showers right here.” We stopped in front of a bathroom. “I put some stuff in there for you and I’m not kidding, I have a five-minute timer that’s about to start so you better fucking strip and wash yourself.”

“Okay, Dad, but just pull down my zipper first.” I groaned as he did so and then walked inside, slamming the door behind myself. The dress was quickly by my feet and I bent over to undo my shoes. Everything was off within seconds. I swear to god I took the quickest shower of my entire life, clocking in at about 3 minutes. Now I had less than 2 to get dry and dressed without ruining his night. “Yoongi!” I yelled, slipping into the dress. He burst in within seconds and zipped me up. “Quick enough?”

“Yeah, yeah. I’m on in 20. Where are you gonna hang out? Backstage or vip? Are you hungry? Are you thirsty? Holy fuck, your throat must hurt. Oh shit, I’m s-”

“I don’t know what’s up with you right now, but you’re sounding like me. That’s bad.” I took his hands into mine to stop his jitteriness. “What’s with you? Yoongi, you don’t get nervous like this for shows.”

“But you’re here.”

“And I’ll continue to be here. So, stop it.” I leaned up and kissed him, reaching up to touch his mint green hair. He smirked into the kiss and wrapped his arms around me, pulling me tight to him and breaking it. Now I was just shoved against his chest. “You’re suffocating me.” I croaked out.

He pulled away and reached out to lace his fingers with mine. “Do you wanna do a song together? Like, the way I have So Far Away with Suran.”

“On your mixtape?”

“No, like even before my next mixtape. The fans have been begging for me to do a cover of some song, so let’s make one together.”

“Dude-”

“You always start saying dude when your friends show up, stop it.” he had the biggest smile on his face. “I think it’d be, I dunno, cute.”

“You’re too cute. Listen, go get ready for your show. It’s gonna be amazing. I love you too much and you know it.” I pulled away from him and began to walk in the direction of the vip balcony.

“I love you, gorgeous,” he spoke quietly and even though the room was loud, I could hear his voice coming towards me. He saluted me goodbye and I laughed as I turned my back on him and jogged to the place I’d watch BTS from for the night.

Some of the member's families were here, but not Yoongi’s. I could only guess that’s why he was so excited about me being here. He was such an emotional family guy, but it was tough for his parents and brother to get out to shows a lot. I knew that they went to one that was closer to them during this tour, so that made me feel better about them not being here. It wasn’t like he had nobody- he had me. I was his family too at this point.

There were assigned seats and I found a paper with my name written on it surrounded by flowers in the front row. Alicia was next to me then Julianna was next to her and then the guys. Of course Luke’s was written with skulls on it and placed the farthest away from me. Yoongi had tried to make the handwriting not look like his, but it was a little bit too obvious. It was extremely laughable.

The room was full of strangers to me, but everyone seemed to have a kind smile on. Nobody gave me any kind of dirty look, but only compliments. Most of them barely spoke any English, but that didn’t stop these kind souls for commending me for my performance. I just got extremely embarrassed and quiet and full of thank yous.

Five minutes before showtime, my friend showed up back in their fancy attire and all clean and not gross. Luke fucking choked at his sign and crinkled it up, throwing it into a trash can. He took the empty seat to my left just to spite Yoongi and I just rolled my eyes. Luke didn’t still have a thing for me, but he knew my boyfriend was the extremely jealous type and like to push his buttons. They were always on each other's nerves due to their relationships with me and a good amount of the time I felt like I was walking on eggshells around the duo.

The lights went down and the crowd began to scream as a video played across all of the screens. Without even realizing, I was suddenly on my feet and into the show. BTS was one of my favorite artists to watch live. They were so about their performance and making their crowd feel safe and at home here.

They were in such a different element when they were on the stage.They were still the goofy guys we knew and loved but this was more serious for them. This is what their 12 hours a day of practice every day goes towards. All of the vocal and dance practices, everything. They were dedicated to making this the best damn night of everyone who came to see them and did a pretty amazing job at it.

The moment they stepped onto the stage was mesmerizing. From the outfits to each of their stage presence, it was captivating. They were simply euphoric.

The entire show maxed to about 2 and a half hours and it wasn’t until 10 minutes before it ended that my attention was taken away. It was Ji-Hye, she waved the five of us off of the balcony and backstage so we could actually hear her. “Bangtan has requested that you five go on stage for the final bow.” We simultaneously shook our heads no. “They said you’d say that and they said if you don’t come out you’re all going home tonight. Also, they said they won’t see any of you during their time off.”

“Of course they threatened us.” Julianna laughed, “At least I look super cute now. Fine, we’ll do it.”

I simply shrugged and rolled my eyes, running towards the curtain to catch the final song. They were ending with OUTRO: Wings tonight and I couldn’t help but to move to the music as it began. I ended up jumping around with my friends and locking eyes with Yoongi who was running around the stage. He suddenly picked up his speed and sprinted right over to the curtain and grabbed onto my hand. Fuck it.

I motioned my head to the rest of the band and they followed us dancing out. Yoongi held my hand and led all of the to the center of the stage where they all cheered when they saw the five of us making our way over. When it was time for his verse, he spun me away back to my band, only to come back like a puppy when the singing parts began.

The ARMY bombs were actually the coolest thing to see all lit from the stage. They changed colors as the boys sang back and forth with the crowd. It was time for the cute little dance circle they did and when Hoseok called “Suga!” This man tried to pull me over with him, so I pushed him. Then he fell and did some goofy move off of that.

As the song broke down, Hoseok yelled into the mic. “Are you guys having fun?! Are you gonna miss us!?” Then his super hype verse began. The coolest thing. As the last chorus started, the confetti cannons blew and showered the entire stadium.

As the song ended, the twelve of us grouped up at the center. Slow music started to play behind him as he gave a speech. He, first of all, thanked the armies for coming out, then he thanked the rest of Bangtan for being there with him on his journey, he thanked Slow Burn and all of the people behind the scenes. He thanked all of their families and then thanked all of the ARMYS again.

It was all in Korean, but at the start of his speech, Yoongi leaned into my ear to translate the entire thing to me. I felt his hot breath against the side of my face as he spoke and when Rap Monster had said the thing about their families, he quickly bit my ear and I felt him smile against the hair he was leaning on. As the speech ended, the twelve of us bowed together and then Slow Burn walked off of the stage so the other boys could do their ending remarks and take one final bow together.

We stood on the side of the stage and watched them as they all got super emotional. Again, it was times like these I wished I could understand Korean. At least noises were universal. Yoongi’s speech was last and there were multiple “Aww” noises and the general vibe in the room was love. The vibe was always love with Bangtan. The connection they had with their fan base was insane and something to not be rivaled. Ji-Hye leaned into me and whispered, “You know he’s talking about you right now?”

“What?”

“He’s saying that he’s very thankful for the way army has treated you and accepted you. He said he loves you a lot, Y/N.”

I could feel my face heat up red and I instinctively began to cry. Luke furrowed his eyebrows at me but offered his arm for me to cry on. “Hey! Stop crying back there, I’m watching you!” Yoongi laughed out into the microphone in English and I began to cry even more. “Ahh, hell.”

I cried through the end of their concert and then when they walked off of the stage I ran into Yoongi’s arms and cried into him as he carried me towards their dressing room. “”Ahh, stop crying. You don’t even know Korean.”

“Well, someone exposed you and now I’m crying.” I whined into his shoulder as I sniffed out the last few tears. “Does my makeup look okay?”

“Yeah, oddly enough. I’m gonna shower then we’re going back to the hotel and I’m letting you know that you’re getting fucked in that dress. Just in advance.”

I looked up at him with a disgusted face. “You know how to make a mood even better, don’t you?” He simply smirked at me and went into the showers. I pulled out my phone and sent a message in my group chat letting them know I was alright and that I’d see them tomorrow. We’d figured out we all had the same flight time to JFK, so lucky for them I could make sure they got there on time.

He walked out a few minutes later in a nice jacket and dress pants in a hurry. “I’m wide awake . Let’s go, baby girl.” This man basically rushed me out of the building and into the van to the hotel. I guessed it was so he didn’t lose this high he was riding out so he could finish his night strong,

His hand was on my thigh, dangerously close to me. Eventually, he gave up on trying to be subtle and began to suck on my neck lightly, not leaving marks as of yet. He was trying to tease me and we were both aware of it. I didn’t really get the teasing when I knew he literally wanted to have fucking hot sex. But he liked it and it was his night. Thankfully there was no traffic.

Once the van dropped us at the hotel, I purposely walked extra slow to tease him right back. His eyes shot daggers and he literally walked over and simply picked me up. I jumped right into the lift and wrapped my legs around his waist and rested my head on his shoulder, right against his ear. “Watching you tonight, Yoongi… I could barely contain myself. You looked so hot on that stage… and watching everyone marvel over you… The only thing I could think of is that I would be the one who got to go home with you at the end of the night.”

“That’s all you could think about?” I felt his cheekbones lift and I guessed it was the infamous smirk. He got into the elevator and pressed the close door button so nobody else could get in. “You weren’t thinking about anyone else?”

“I could never, Daddy. They could never fuck me like you do.” My whisper was sultry and I knew he was fucking hard. With that notion, I pulled away from his ear and moved my hair from in front of my face. We made eye contact for a moment before he licked his lips and began to kiss me like his life depends on it. My back was to the wall and I felt him against me. With the ding of the elevator, he basically sprinted towards our room.

He basically dropped me to rummage his pockets for the key card and I whimpered at the loss of contact. For such a put together guy, I watched Yoongi fucking fumble that card about 5 times before he actually got it to swipe. Then I was back in his arms for a barely a moment til he threw me on the bed. “Let me break this down for you. I’m gonna give you the schedule-”

“A sex schedule?” I burst into laughter.

“Listen, I know you’re fucking dripping wet for me right now, but it’s been a long day. We’re making love at this point, yada yada. I’m gonna fuck you. Then you can suck me off if you’re down for it.”

“Was that a jok-”

“Shh.” Then his lips were on mine again and I was underneath him like he always liked. I brought a hand up to his neck trying to make it as deep as it could be. His tongue didn’t even beg for entrance tonight, he simply demanded and I quickly knew what kind of night this was going to be. His hand snaked down to the end of my dress and he broke the kiss with a string of saliva hanging between up and I swatted it away. “I don’t wanna rip this.”

“So, take it off.” I propped myself up on my elbows.

“No, it makes daddy happy.” He brought in his famous pout but somehow right now it was more sexy than pathetic.

“Oh my god.” I cleared my throat then tried to put on the sexiest voice I had. “I want you inside of me, please. I’m so fucking wet and it’s all for you.” I brought my finger to my mouth and bit on the nail while looking up at him. “Just, work around the dress.”

He didn’t take any time after that. He inched it up slowly and I swear his pants and boxers were off at lightning speed. “I watched you tonight too, you know. You deserve this, baby girl. You were so- sexy. Your looks, your talent, your confidence, the way you watched me tonight…” He wasted no time pushing right into me. His hips quickly gained speed and he leaned forward to kiss me.

My elbows quickly slipped out from under me and I now had one hand in his hair and the other gripped onto his side. I threw off the jacket with my free hand and broke the kiss for a moment to rip off of his shirt. I traced his defined chest with my finger to quiet my loud moans of his name, not trying to give him a weird headache right now. He was pounding into me relentlessly and I couldn’t help expect to bite his lip, causing him to break the kiss to laugh his airey out of breath laugh. “Fuck.” he was out of breath but that wouldn’t stop him from teasing me even in the most intimate moments. “You’re so loud for me all of the time. If I slowed down would you quiet down? Or do you still want it rough?” his motions copied his words and I felt like I’d ascended. We’d been in this hotel room for about 2 days and fucked like 3 times, it felt like a safe space to fucking leave my body in.

“I can’t help but think of all the guys who watched you tonight.” he continued his lament, “You looked so fucking sexy in this dress all night, Y/N. I just laughed when I saw them marvel at you.” he brought his body lower to moan into my ear, “This is my little pussy and they fucking know it. I get to fuck you, in and out. Nobody can fuck you like I can. Nobody will ever fuck you like I can. Nobody else will ever fuck you, period.”

It was in that moment that I came all around him and he basked in the glory of it. As I hit my orgasm, I screamed out his name as I clenched around him. “Just my words made you come for me that quick?” he teased me, again.

“Maybe it was your cock going 90 miles per hour.” I should stop making sly comments. He was stopped for the second and I took it upon myself to move him out of me and get off of the bed and onto my knees. He knew what I was doing almost right away, I was simply following his “schedule”.

I knew it wouldn’t take long to get him to cum, he was already so close. I cupped his balls and squeezed them lightly, knowing he liked that. Knowing that it would get him a little bit mad that his dick wasn’t already in my throat. He made eye contact with me and squinted, full well knowing my games. With that, I took him into my mouth and began to bob my head.

His head shot back and his hand instantly was on my head, with a small fistful of hair within his hand. It was probably barely a minute until his dick began to twitch and he came down my throat. The moan of my name that escaped his lips was probably enough to make me dripping wet again, but I had to cool myself off.

He let go of my hair and extended a hand to help me onto my feet. He wiped my lip for excess cum and put his index finger into my mouth. I sucked on it and licked around, not breaking the intense eye contact he was keeping. His sweaty, straight face broke and he leaned in to kiss me with the goofiest grin on. “Hey, Y/N. Baby. Thank you.”

“You’re thanking me- for sex?” I was confused, simply.

“Hey, we’re calling it making love now. I’m thanking you for love. For loving me.” His arms wrapped around me to undo the zipper on the dress. Once it fell to the ground, his hands were on my ass, lifting me up once again.

“Don’t thank me for loving you.” He pecked at my lips and unclasped my bra and placed me back onto the bed. “I just- love you. I know you. It’s not a favor or anything. I- I-” A loss for words. “Thank you.”

His gummy smile was on now as he pulled off my panties and jogged across the room into my suitcase to find me something to wear. “It sounds stupid or whatever, but I don’t know Y/N, You just- make me happy. I love being like this. Everything is just so good in my life and I’m afraid it’ll crash down or something.” He came back over to me in a pair or his boxers and handed me one of my shirts and shorts.

Yoongi sat on the end of the bed right next to me and watched me quickly get dressed. “Why the sudden glum? Is everything kinda hitting you at once?”

“Yeah.” The mood change was upsetting. His head was in his hand now and he studied me with intense eyes. “I’m just wondering how I got so lucky.”

All I wanted to do here was make a slick joke, but I could see something was making him upset somewhere. Yoongi had this terrible habit of pushing off his feelings until they got to a point where they exploded and we’d been trying to work on that. I just wanted him to be able to communicate his feelings with me before he took them out somewhere bad. “I think about that a lot too.” My voice was low.

“Yeah, life's great and we’re happy, right? But, I kinda fucked you over with this idol thing.” His voice was sullen. “It’s so tough for you and it hurts me so bad seeing you cry when you’re literally the thing that prevents me from feeling that way.”

“Hey, buddy.” He looked up with a disgusted face to the buddy. “Honey bear, Oats, Shrek. Listen. I can handle it. Sometimes I have bad days and maybe I scare you, but my budding sense of humor gets me through it. And you. Thinking about being with you forever and ever is fucking scary, but so are your rapping skills and look how good that’s going. So, trust me when I say I’m okay and know that if I wasn’t I’d tell you. You know I like to be honest with you.”

“I know.” he reached his arm around my shoulder and pulled my head into him. “This is just me letting my thoughts get to me at the weirdest times.” he had a smile on his face now, “We’re gonna sleep. Then we’re gonna wake up and go to America.”

“Is this on your schedule too?” he let go of me and elbowed my arm. Without a word he crawled to the head of the bed and tucked himself into the covers.

“Light.” he mumbled and I groaned and slowly walked across the room to turn it off.

Then that was our conversation for the night. I slipped into the bed and slept a bit away from him, only feeling his fingers resting in the ends of my hair that laid next to him. The lights of the city seeped through the curtains and I glanced over at his already sleeping self. He was amazing, inside and out. He didn’t exactly snore, but his breathing was loud tonight. There was something different about the way he was asleep tonight and I didn’t notice until I felt my tired eyes glued to his face in order to find out.

Yoongi was smiling in his sleep tonight and it simply warmed my heart.

Authors Note: First of all, I want to say I do NOT own any of the songs used within this chapter. They’re amazing songs by their respective artists and I simply thought they fit very well with the messages I was trying to get across!

Second, thank you so much for the feedback on Pressure! I love to hear what you guys think and my messages and ask box are always open, so please let me know what you thought!

part 5 →

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