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deacied · 5 years

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evening sun . // one .

summary: messaging stupid things to your celebrity crush on instagram has no repercussions because it’s not like they’re going to read it anyway! obviously this doesn’t entail sexual harassment or general creepiness, but sending a meme they’d like or a picture or maybe something actually stupid like your phone number seems irrelevant in the grand scheme of things.

or the one where you dm joe on instagram and your life actually changes

warnings: none other than like fluff

word count: 1.7k

she sends the stupidest message she has possibly ever typed in her entire life (eighth grade, angsty teen posts on myspace included) to him in the second week of march. the chances were low that he would open her dm, but he had been known to ever so often answer a handful at a time, and what did she have to lose if he did answer the message? she had sent him other things before as if he were her best friend, memes that reminded her of him or funny t-shirt ads, whatever it had been that she thought might have him grinning to himself--- however, clearly the response never-received wasn’t with this particular “friend”. she didn’t really know him, and he, blissfully unaware of her existence, yet she tried weakly to get the attention of him while he received thousands of others flooding his messages doing just the same. it was just a bit of fun really. a shirt that showed a t-rex wearing mickey ears, “wrong park!“ written across it had her laughing manically to herself before sending the post over to joe. she hoped she would see him in that shirt soon.

it was a hopeless cause that, well, wouldn’t crush her if the odds weren’t in her favor. nearly a month after she had sent the stupidest message, a notification of a new text pings through her phone. a glance over to it only to be met with an unknown number loses her attention as quick as it held it. she yawns. the action comes of mainly boredom though sleepiness threatens to claw its way into dominance as the summer rain continues to pummel unto the roof, warm florida air shifting through the porch, and the novel in her hand losing focus. a nap would be good-- perfect actually.

the crackle of lightning followed by a gargle of thunder shook her out of her sleep only an hour later and back into reality. every afternoon without fail, the casual shower of rain would pass over her family home just after three as if mother nature were taking her time with her garden. florida often promised hurricanes so the thunderstorms weren’t uncommon, but this particular one wasn’t supposed to hit until thursday, and with it being only tuesday, she knew this storm would last forever now: the earlier they came, the longer and harder they reined apparently. notifications sound off at a quick rate, though she easily dismisses it as something extraordinary going on in the group chat. trekking back into the house with book and phone in hand, her free fingers pass over her dogs’ heads as she passes them to head to her room. the thought of a shower to wash away the dampness from outside was the most ideal option she possessed, however, the implied doom her mother promised of a shower during a thunderstorm was the least. more notifications go off in time before she turns off the ringer entirely and plugs it into the charger. sixty-four (jesus) messages in the group chat on discord, another twenty-one from the same group on instagram, and god knows how many more on snapchat, but the one, singular cluster of notifications tucked at the bottom that held her interest had her pausing with head tipping in interest: another message from the unknown number.

lower lip curls between teeth as brows furrow an inch together. finally clicking on the messages, she feels like she might throw up as her eyes follow the pixels. holy. fucking. shit.

FROM unknown 11:18 am: It’s super dangerous giving your phone number to strangers on the internet you know? FROM unknown 11:20 am: I tried to call and kind of chickened out. I got nervous and I’m sorry. FROM unknown 11:43 am: Oh my god, did you really shoot your shot and just leave the court?

she has to read the messages at least eight times, take a screenshot, send it to her brother, and have him confirm she’s not having a stroke before she can go back to the originals with an intent to reply. thumbs hover over keys making absentminded shapes as she breathes deeply, loudly, anxiously trying not to have a whole mental breakdown. the message directly referenced her messages to none other than the boy from jurassic park, the bassist of bohemian rhapsody, the very angry baseball player of undrafted. there was absolutely no way that this was actually, truly, literally joseph francis mazzello iii. couldn’t be. nope. not happening. she doesn’t know what to reply back with for a good long moment, taking a second to collect herself and open up instagram to confirm for the hundredth time now that this is who she thinks it is.

the dm’s screen welcomes her, exhale escaping lowly as she clicks on joe_mazzello’s chat. he hadn’t replied -clearly, she most definitely would have received a notification for that or else instagram would have a very angry woman on their hands- but he had opened it. the time read 3:56am two weeks ago when he read them. her head falls backwards as the mental math floods hurriedly through her brain, trying to understand: so he had called a week after reading them apparently, and then waited another week before engaging contact again. he... he had been thinking about this for a while; it wasn’t just a spur-of-the-moment ploy to entertain a fan. god, she might throw up actually this time. thumbs navigate to open the texts from the unknown number again just to make sure they hadn’t magically dissolved into thin air. a slow exhale. one more final time she moves over the keys.

TO unknown 12:56 pm: who is this? TO unknown 12:57 pm: if this is who i think it is i’m gonna Lose My McFreakin Mind

she nods to herself as they send--- vague enough that whomever was on the other side wouldn’t think something strange was going on no matter what the outcome turned out to be. it had happened once where a friend texted the wrong number instead of her, asking if “mc fuckhead” was there. (that was an incredibly fun inside joke to explain.) head tips to the side slightly, hopping her train of thought from joe mazzello and him genuinely thinking of you to how strange every inside joke must sound to people outside of the inside. another vibration of the device jerks her back to the matter at hand, unable to help her heart thumping uneasily.

FROM unknown 1:26 pm: Hi, I’m Joe Mazzello from Jurassic- I mean, Bohemian Rhapsody and you’re watching Disney Channel! FROM unknown 1:26 pm: Thank God you’re a multiple text person too FROM unknown 1:27 pm: Please don’t Lose Your McFreakin Mind! FROM unknown 1:27 pm: Wait. FROM unknown 1:27 pm: .....Is this (@ y/ig)? Did I just fuck everything up with an actual wrong number?

suspicions couldn’t get more confirmed than that. her next set of texts goes out rapidly and without much second thought, a stupidly huge smile graced on her face that probably made her look like a maniac--- but really, if any person’s celebrity crush had texted them wouldn’t they have the exact same reaction? actually, now that y/n thinks about it, she’s being really, really calm. the internal screaming stays internal -thank the lord- though her cheeks already ache from the face-splitting grin she currently wears.

TO unknown 1:33pm: if i’m (@ y/ig) then wouldn’t you be @joe_mazzello? no? just me? ok TO unknown 1:33 pm: but hi yes i’m y/n ??? holy shit ??? what the fuck ??? TO unknown 1:34 pm: definitely losing my mind rn TO unknown 1:34 pm: but also 👀 real talk i was 👀 actually asking you 👀 out TO unknown 1:34 pm: like if you wanted to hang out 👀 haha

as soon as the last one sends, her heart drops with fear. fuck, what if the actor just wanted to do a fan a favor and answer her dm just for shits and giggles, or, best (worst?) case scenario he wanted to online-befriend her. she can very easily lose the one single chance she’s gotten and--- god, yes, definitely going to throw up. she sends another message in a haste, praying to whomever was up above that her last text actually saved her ass. he responds in actual record time, the girl tucked up on her bed unable to help the excited and very, very, very ugly squeal she let out as she starts reading the messages.

FROM joe omg 1:36 pm: Interesting.... I’ll have to accept your proposal. We meet at dawn! FROM joe omg 1:36 pm: But you’re in Florida right? I think I read that on your account, I hope I didn’t just pull that out of my ass. FROM joe omg 1:36 pm: I haven’t been to Universal down there in God knows how long and I was planning to go at the end of the month funnily enough FROM joe omg 1:36 pm: If dinosaurs and King Kong and Harry Potter and whateva are your thaaaang

an anxious groan soon follows-- of course this was the alternating year she had gotten a disney annual pass instead of a universal one like last year, and upon further inspection of prices, her bills due, and her bank account, it was a couple hundred dollars she definitely didn’t have to spend. she sets her phone down to calm her now raging anxiety, skin heating up and palms sweating profusely until she fists her comforter in hopes to dry them. asking an actual rich and famous person for financial help just to hang out with them was forcing her eyes to prick with tears-- she had to find something else, right? they could work something else out and she was just overreacting. it takes her verbally saying “you’re crying over universal, chill the heck out” before she comprehends and truly relaxes, tension melting out of her back as a slow breath falls from anxiety ridden lungs.

TO joe omg 1:42 pm: i actually love universal but i have a disney pass right now if maybe that was something you wanted to do TO joe omg 1:43 pm: idk if you’ve ever been to disney world but its so much better than disneyland if i’m honest lmao i’ve gone to california once and i went and i wasn’t super impressed TO joe omg 1:43 pm: i mean it was really cool cause it was the original disney but rides and attractions wise you know what i mean??? anyway im rambling wtf

the conversation rolls with no further lulls in topics to talk about, one in the afternoon soon turning to one in the morning and her eyes threatening to droop closed. with a final goodnight text the pair decide to resume conversation in the morning, and lord, did she have something to excitedly scream about then.

#okay uhhhh heres the actual first chapter #joe mazzello x reader #joe mazzello #joe mazzello fanfic #john deacon x reader

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lunathebabysblog · 4 years

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@vanessajasminexx

1: How tall or short do you wish you were? 5ft 3"

2: What’s your dream pet? (Real or not) unicorn

3: Do you have a favorite clothing style? Prety, frelly and cute.

4: What was your favorite video game growing up? Left 4 Dead

5: What three things/people do you think of most each day: my mom, my family, and my friends

6: If you had a warning label, what would yours say? not safe for woona

7: What is your opinion on [insert person/thing here]? No?

8: What is your Greek personality type? [Sanguine, Phlegmatic, Choleric, or Melancholic] idk

9: Are you ticklish? Very much so

10: Are you allergic to anything? No

11: What’s your sexuality? Bisexual

12: Do you prefer tea, coffee, or cocoa? All of them

13: Are you a cat or dog person? Cat

14: Would you rather be a vampire, elf, or merperson? Elf and Mermaid

15: Do you have a favorite Youtuber? Not really

16: How tall are you? 6ft

17: If you had to change your name, what would you change it to? Aiko

18: How much do you weigh? [Only ask this if you know the user doesn’t mind!]

19: Do you believe in ghosts/spirits? No

20: Do you like space or the ocean more? Both are scawy

21: Are you religious? Not anymore

22: Pet peeves? Idiots

23: Would you rather be nocturnal or diurnal [opposite of nocturnal]? Nocturnal 100%

24: Favorite constellation? Little dipper

25: Favorite star? The sun

26: Do you like ball-jointed dolls? Like barby and Ken dolls?

27: Any phobias or fears? Clowns and spiders

28: Do you think global warming is real? Yes and no.

29: Do you believe in reincarnation? I do.

30: Favorite movie? My little pony: the movie

31: Do you get scared easily? Yes

32: How many pets have you own in your lifetime?

33: Blog rate? [You’ll rate the blog of the one who’s asking.] 5/5

34: What is a color that calms you? Baby Pink

35: Where would you like to travel and/or live? Japan, UK

36: Where were you born? Albuquerque NM

37: What is your eye color? Hazel

38: Introvert or extrovert? Majorly introvert

39: Do you believe in horoscopes and zodiacs? Not at all

40: Hugs or kisses? Both

41: Who is someone you would like to see/visit right now? My mom

42: Who is someone you love deeply? Idk

43: Any piercings you want? No

44: Do you like tattoos and piercings? Depends on the person

45: Do you smoke or have you eiver done so? No

46: Talk about your crush, if you have one!

47: What is a sound you really hate? Donald Trump

48: A sound you really love? Trump dying

49: Can you do a backflip? No

50: Can you do the splits? No

51: Favorite actor and/or actress? Arnold Schwarzenegger

52: Favorite movie? Jurassic park

53: How are you feeling right now? Bored

54: What color would you like your hair to be right now? Baby Pink

55: When did you feel happiest? When my mother and grandmother were still alive

56: Something that calms you down? Anime

57: Have any mental disorders? [Only ask this if you know the user doesn’t mind!]

58: What does your URL mean? Idk

59: What three words describe you the most? I HATE idiots

60: Do you believe in evolution? No

61: What makes you unfollow a blog? Pushing agenda

62: What makes you follow a blog? Idc

63: Favorite kind of person: funny, Kinky

64: Favorite animal(s): T-rex

65: Name three of your favorite blogs.

66: Favorite emoticon:

67: Favorite meme:

68: What is your MBTI personality type? Idk

69: What is your star sign? Idk

70: Can your dog roll over on command, if you have a dog? No

71: What outfit out of all your clothes do you like to wear the most? My abdl onesie.

72: Post a selfie or two? Maybe

73: Do you have platform shoes? No

74: What is one random but interesting fact about yourself? I like diapers

75: Can you do a front flip? On a high dive

76: Do you like birds? Yes

77: Do you like to swim? Yes

78: Is swimming or ice skating more fun to you? Swimming.

79: Something you wish didn’t exist: Donald Trump and Disney Studios.

80: Some thing you wish did exist: an age regression machine

81: Piercings you have? None

82: Something you really enjoy doing: video games

83: Favorite person to talk to: anyone

84: What was your first impression of Tumblr? Coool

85: How many followers do you have? Idk 25

86: Can you run a mile within ten minutes? Nope

87: Do your socks always match? No

88: Can you touch your toes and keep your legs straight completely? Sometimes

89: What are your birthstones? Idk

90: If you were an animal, which one would you be? Unicorn.

91: If a flower could aesthetically represent you, what kind would it be? A weed, or a rose

92: A store you hate? Walmart

93: How many cups of coffee can you drink in one day? 35+

94: Would you rather be able to fly or read minds? Read minds

95: Do you like to wear camo? Depends

96: Winter or summer? Summer

97: How long can you hold your breath for? Last I checked 1 minute

98: Least favorite person? Donald J Trump

99: Someone you look up to: My cat

100: A store you love? Abdl stores and GameStop

101: Favorite type of shoes: high heels

102: Where do you live? New Mexico

103: Are you a vegetarian or vegan? If so, why? No

104: What is your favorite mineral or gem? Idk

105: Do you drink milk? Like it's a milk jug

106: Do you like bugs? Kinda

107: Do you like spiders? Scary

108: Something you get paranoid about? Being followed

109: Can you draw: no

110: Nosiest question you have ever been asked?

111: A question you hate being asked?

112: Ever been bitten by a spider? Yes

113: Do you like the sound of waves at the beach? Yes

114: Do you prefer cloudy or sunny days? Sunny

115: Someone you’d like to kiss or cuddle right now: idk

116: Favorite cloud type: normal

117: What color do you wish the sky was? Pink

118: Do you have freckles? No

119: Favorite thing about a person:

120: Fruits or vegetables? Fruits

121: Something you want to do right now: be diapered

122: Is the ocean or sky prettier? Ocean

123: Sweet or sour foods? Both

124: Bright or dim lights? Both

125: Do you believe in a certain magical creature? Unicorns

126: Something you hate about Tumblr: it's anonymous

127: Something you love about Tumblr: it's anonymous

128: What do you think about the least?

129: What would you want written on your tombstone? I hate idiots

130: Who would you like to punch in the face right now? Donald Trump

131: What is something you love but also hate about yourself? Nothing

132: Do you smile with your teeth showing for pictures? No

133: Computer or TV? Both

134: Do you like roller coasters? Yes I love them

135: Do you get motion sickness or seasickness? No

136: Are your ears lobed or attached?

137: Do you believe in karma? Yes

138: On a scale of 1-10, how attractive would you say you are? 0

139: What nicknames do you have/have had?

140: Did you have any pretend or imaginary friends? Yed

141: Have you ever seen a therapist/shrink? Many

142: Would you say you are a good or bad influence to others? Bad

143: Do you prefer giving or receiving gifts/help? Receiving but will help out

144: What makes you angry

145: How many languages do you speak fluently? 2

146: Do you prefer boys, girls, and/or non-binaries?

147: Are you androgynous?

148: Favorite physical thing about yourself:

149: Favorite thing about your personality:

150: Name three people you would like to talk to right now in person.

151: If you could go back into time and live in one era, which would you choose? The era of anime

152: Do you like BuzzFeed? No

153: How did you meet your spouse/girlfriend/boyfriend/partner? [If you have one.]

154: Do you like to kiss others’ foreheads or hands for platonic reasons?

155: Do you like to play with others’ hair?

156: What embarrasses you?

157: Something that makes you nervous/anxious:

158: Biggest lie you have ever told:

159: How many people are you following?

160: How many posts do you have on your blog(s)?

161: How many drafts do you have on your blog(s)?

162: How many likes do you have on your blog(s)?

163: Last time you cried and why:

164: Do you have long or short hair?

165: Longest your hair has ever been: neck length

166: Why do you like, dislike, or have neutral feelings about religon?

167: Do you really care how the universe and world was created? No

168: Do you like to wear makeup? Yes

169: Can you stand on your hands or head for more than thirty seconds? No

170: Did you answer the questions you were asked truthfully? Yes

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buzzmic-blog · 6 years

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30 Hilarious Notes Left For Badly Parked Car

Problems Created By Car parkers Terrible drivers are hard to deal with as is, but terrible car parkers are worse. They are on another level of existence where they think that the whole parking lot is their playground and they can park as they see fit. So something must be done to put these painfully horrendous car parkers to put them back in their place. And nothing spells out passive-aggression better than a note left on the windshield!

What A Superstar

A note written in all caps means serious business. And this particular offender has clearly crossed the line of tolerance to be the target of a letter in all caps! Although this might cost the writer the luxury of feeling like a movie star, a well-worded note will help the offender do a better parking job next time.

A Pinch Of Spite

Sarcasm is probably the language of the irked and offended all over the world. This particular offender actually took the time to move out their neighbor's trash cans to do their awful parking job. With the level of irritation dripping from that single note, we hope the offender never actually gets to meet the writer, for their own sake!

Grammar On Point

Imagine coming across a parking job so appalling, that you start to lose your grasp on grammar due to the amazing bouts of anger you feel. That was the case with this particular writer, who was equally mad at the bad parking, as well as the time wasted writing their note. Don't make people doubt their grammar!

Nobody Likes You

This particular writer must be at the height of their anger to actually go out of their way to print out the note! Can you imagine how many times the offender must have done it to take such special measures this time around? We hope they shape up, to benefit from the society, as well as not be attacked by mountain lions. Just saying.

Grumpy Cat Doesn’t Like You

Seems like the famous Grumpy cat himself came down to tut-tut at the disappointing parking job. He's also very possessive of his parking spot. Although he was generous enough to not call the towing services this time around, the offender might not be as lucky the next time around!

The Hellen Keller

Sometimes, a parking job is so ghastly that not even a note would suffice for the opportunity. Notes would fall on deaf ears, so something more concrete needs to be done to drive the message home. This particularly aggravated writer had to bust out their spray paint can to make their point.

Personalized Spot

This car parker felt that no parking space available was good for their car. So they had the ingenious idea to park it on the division of spaces itself. Of course, such originality seldom goes unnoticed, so someone had to outline this special parking spot in chalk. Way to go for ingenuity!

What A Jag Off

When one doesn't have access to paper on hand, what does one use? A pad of course! When one has this much overflowing anger at the improper parking job, that it has to be conveyed one way or another. In this instance, it is a pad. You have to give them points for their very original use of a pad.

Rich In Parking Spots

As rich as you can become, it does not guarantee you get common sense accompanying it. This was the case for the owner of this particular blue BMW, who just had to take up two parking spots. But this inflamed writer wasn't simply going to let it go, not if it was going to inconvenience their grandma!

Come On Dogg

Props to this next guy, who just wanted to get back his parking spot in the most amicable manner. Unlike a sarcastic or a passive-aggressive note, he put his simple request in a straightforward manner. On the windshield. With paint. He was good enough to even put a 'thanks' at the end!

Sincerely It Is

This agitated driver had had enough of the offender's horrendous parking skills. With a straight-up threat, the writer was giving no more chances to this repeat offender. We suggest the offender keep this threat in mind the next time they're about to do a half-baked parking job and leave other car locked in.

A Meme-tactic Parking Job

Have you ever seen a parking of car job so bad, that you had to unearth a dead meme from the 2000s? This enraged writer had to go out of his way to print out the famous 'Y U NO' meme to get his point across. A perfect mix of nostalgia and sarcasm!

PB & Jelly

Towing costs are quite expensive, not to forget, inconvenient. This writer was considerate enough to spare the offender the charge of towing but still had enough spite to not let go of the chance to make their point. Smearing peanut butter and using it as a canvas to write their qualms is equally innovative and inconvenience at the same time.

It’s That Simple

While the previous one used smeared peanut butter as their canvas, this writer used the gift of mother nature to articulate their thoughts. With the plentiful snow come winter, this writer used the built-up snow on the car to write. Props to them for not wasting paper!

Season's Greetings!

Shoveling the snow from your parking spot in winters is a hassle as is, but more infuriating when someone takes advantage of your hard work! This good Samaritan had just cleared out out the snow from his parking spot, but some rude driver decided to take advantage of it and park there. The writer wasn't going to let it slide so easily, and wrote a not-so-kindly worded letter.

No Mixed Messages

There's something fundamentally wrong with your parking skills if they inconvenience even the pedestrians. This skilled driver went out of his way and parked in such a way that it blocked the pavement. But this calm pedestrian wrote a straightforward and concise letter pointing out the offender's fault. If only everyone in the world was concise...

Mr. T-Rex

This is perhaps one of the most politely worded note on this list. When a hapless driver's alarm system was going off without their knowledge, a Mr. Tyranasauras rex took it upon themselves to bring it to their knowledge. With a top hat and a wine glass in hand, Mr. T-Rex is the epitome of a gentleman.

Justified

A classic passive-aggressive note with some threats to boot. This writer had had enough of this offender's terrible parking job and decided to dole out out some appropriate parking wisdom. Can't help but agree with their point though, it is quite lousy to park in front o someone's driveway!

Park Well Maybe

This grieved writer used the words of Carly Rae Jepson's 'Call Me Maybe' to make his point. With a parking as bad as his, it elicits pop songs!

Oh So Gentle

This writer was annoyed to the highest degree for him to spout so many swear words. He was fed up beyond belief with the obnoxious parking skills the offender displayed that he could not stop dropping f-bombs! Offenders beware!

Stop Ruining My Life

Fed up with getting so many parking tickets already, this poor driver had to actually plead the ticket man to not give him any more tickets! We sympathize with him, we'd be distraught too if we got three tickets too!

Poor Stevie

A snarky and short note is the way to go when dealing with parking offenders. This person's parking was so bad, that it triggered someone to draw a comparison between the music legend, Stevie Wonder's eyesight, and the offender's. And if you've been living under a rock, Stevie Wonder is a critically acclaimed musician who is blind.

What A Jerk

It is aggravating as is when people take two whole spots while parking, but it is immensely inconsiderate when they take up parking spots reserved for handicapped people. To what lengths does your inconsideration extend to? However, one vigilante took it upon themselves to write an illustrious note to the offender.

Resort To Public Transport

When one encounters so many parking offenders regularly, these cards are the perfect way to go! NOopoint in wasting your time writing a note, but rather just stick this card and be on your way!

Who Even Are You?

Channeling their inner Liam Neeson from the 'Taken' franchise, this disgruntled driver had to borrow the words of the actor himself and outline it to them in explicit terms about the level of their annoyance and the consequences of it.

Honorary Member

Annoyed with the skills (or the lack of) of this Beetle owner, he was immediately made an honorary member of a club for people who park awfully! At least we know his parking skills will be appreciated there!

Worst Neighbor Award Goes To…

Broken security alarms in a car are a pain to deal with, especially when they endlessly play through the entirety of the night. But failure to get it fixed and subsequently ruining everyone's goodnight sleep afforded this offender the title of 'Worst Neighbor of the Year.'

Office Joe

Sometimes, a simple stick figure conveying your feelings is enough to get the point across. This writer seemed more inconvenienced than angry, so a simple note sufficed. At least, for this time.

It Was For The Fam

Who wants to shovel snow for hours on end only to return and see that someone else has parked in that shoveled space? Not only is it bad manners, but it is also highly inconsiderate. Shame on you, the person who parked that car!

Sincerely, Everybody

Sometimes, a bad parking job can baffle many a person. This note perfectly summed up the feeling of the general public in just a few words. It is almost an art, to convey so much, with so little words! Read the full article

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