#you don't even understand how much i'd need that

[rosescarlette]

- Monthly subscription.. -

"Darling.. why is the back of your pants red?"

Zhongli had asked. You got your period... And that's when you realised and we're embarrassed. You tried to cover it up by saying something silly but your husband's senses are quite sharp and he immediately knew you were bleeding by the smell.

"Is that blood?! I- we need to take you to Doctor Baizhu! Immediately!"

"Hey hey it's fine! It's just something I go through every month.."

"EVERY MONTH?!"

You weren't quite surprised by his behaviour. After you knew he was an archon, you came to know that he doesn't understand humans much even after he tried to mingle with his people. He immediately panicked.. he tried to get you to the pharmacy.. but you refused. He didn't understand how bleeding every month is normal. He was seriously very worried and thought it wasn't normal and immediately rushed you to the pharmacy.. (Ofc you changed yourself)

"Mr. Zhongli I'd say she's perfectly fine. Why did you bring her to the pharmacy?"

"How is bleeding every month fine?? It's serious! It's like some chronic disease!"

Baizhu immediately laughed and was very entertained by how zhongli was acting. Zhongli was quite confused on the other hand. Did he ask anything embarrassing? He was pretty sure he had asked reasonable questions.

"Ah.. let me guess. Mr. Zhongli doesn't know about this?"

Baizhu asked you with a smile. He knew immediately when Zhongli had kept asking ridiculous questions, he didn't know much about the human body. You immediately sighed and told Dr. Baizhu that he indeed didn't know. That's when Dr. Baizhu had told Zhongli about how women's periods work. And both of you went back home. When you went back home. Zhongli still had a face where he was very shocked. He immediately started asking questions.

"So.. you suffer for EVERY MONTH?!"

"Yeah that's quite the short way to put the misery."

"PARDON?!"

"Yes? What's so shocking?"

"Darling you better tell me more about this.. I NEED to know more so I can take care of you PROPERLY."

"Eh..? Zhongli it's fine you don't have to.."

"No I HAVE to."

"Alright fine. I can't keep putting up with your stubborn as- *ahem* anyways."

Trust me he did give you quite a death glare to stop you from swearing. After you had told him everything.. he was just flabbergasted. He wanted to know more now. And the part where you mentioned that you get period cramps where it hurts like HELL. He wanted to know what would subside the pain and how to ease your uneasiness.

When you were removing your bedsheets to clean them. He immediately stopped you.

"Zhongli.. what are you doing now?"

"I want to take care of you. Please... I can't see you in pain."

"Uh I am fine now.. Can I do some work?"

He immediately said "No."

"Hey that's not fair! I want to do some work too!"

"Darling just rest-"

And when you keep protesting he doesn't mind at all by keeping the bedsheets aside and he immediately picks you up in a bridal style. You immediately flushed.

"H-HEY! PUT ME DOWN!!"

"No."

He kept you in his bedroom where you can sleep for the time being. You can't do anything.. he's stubborn and will just use his strength to stop you from doing anything.

You sighed and decided to take a rest in his bedroom after all it was cozy and neat and of course expensive.

In the time you slept... Zhongli had changed the bedsheets of your bedroom, did the laundry, made your bedroom very cozy. He was trying his level best of the knowledge he had to make sure you don't feel any pain or discomfort. He even organised your room so that things would be a little easier for you. When you woke up he was making some tea which soothes the pain of period cramps. Honestly you didn't know how to react.. he had quite a serious face while he was doing all these things. You decided to go to your bedroom.

When you got to your bedroom you were surprised that everything was neat and organised. EVERYTHING. The room itself was tidy. You immediately went to ask him what he was doing and he replied with a smile and gave you a cup of tea.

"Drink it.. it soothes the pain of period cramps my dear."

"Thanks.. and why did you clean my room? You know you didn't have to CLEAN everything in the room.."

"If it was for you. I'd do it. I'd do anything for you just to be happy."

"Oh silly zhongli."

He absolutely didn't mind. He would love to do anything for you. ANYTHING. And.. of your period pains were worse at night.. be sure to tell him! He would immediately go get a heating pad and something to eat, to replenish your lost energy of course. And if you want him to hug you while you are asleep just speak so and it's done. He would absolutely love to have you in his arms. He's quite a big spoon so expect your position to be as a teddy bear compared to him.

He also noticed your pattern of mood swings. And he knows quickly to deal with them. You don't know how this guy is managing you at this point. Because you wouldn't even handle yourself.

"Dear I am going to get some stuff do you want anything?"

"Just ice cream and some chocolates please!"

"Of course."

He'd get everything more than it was needed because he knows how unpredictable you get with food. And he makes special dishes that help you get energy and your strength back.

---------------------------------------------------

Am sorry for not posting in a while :'( my mental health and my life at my house wasn't quite good. I am very Grateful for all of you trying to be patient with me! :D

#genshin x reader #zhongli #zhongli fluff #zhongli x reader #zhongli x y/n #zhongli x you #genshin morax #genshin characters x you #rex lapis x you #rosescarlette #rosescarlette's diary #genshin fluff #fluff #genshin morax x you

[wilcze-kudly]

The tragedy of Avatar's "Funny Guys"

So... Sokka and Bolin are both "the funny guy" of their respective group, we can all agree on this. Now comic relief characters aren't rare in media and often they exist purely to be said comic relief, with little nuance or storyline of their own.

But Avatar strays from this rule by giving their comedic relief characters a lot of depth.

Both Sokka and Bolin have been through some awful stuff. They've dealt with loss and plenty of adversity.

Sokka lost his mother as a child. After that, his father left for a war, basically leaving Sokka to care for his sister and village. And, to his credit, Sokka took his duties very seriously. You can see how protective he is of Katara and the members of his tribe, trying to defend them even when he's clearly outnumbered and outmatched. This also bled through into his role within the Gaang, where he acts as provider, strategist and organiser.

As for Bolin, he was orphaned as a small child, forced to live at least 10 years homeless. His horrific childhood trauma leads to him lacking a lot in social skills and confidence. And throughout the show he is manipulated, used and, quite frankly, abused multiple times.

But we already knew that, right?

We've seen them in their respective shows and we've heard their backstories explained to us. They share most of their backgrounds with their siblings, so it's not a leap in logic to say that they most likely have similar trauma.

So, why is that their "angst" isn't taken as seriously as, say, Katara's and Mako's?

I'd the main reason really is the fact that they are meant to lighten the mood.

This is unlike Katara and Mako, whose roles allow them to express their grief and pain more freely, the creators going so far as to incorporate symbols of their trauma into their designs.

Katara and Mako's actions are often more easily related to their trauma. Because their characters are more obviously tied to their trauma.

We, for example can understand Katara stealing a waterbending scroll and relate it to her need to connect with her almost completely destroyed culture. We can see Mako have difficulties connecting with people and recognise that this is most likely due to his troubled past.

Sokka and Bolin are more... tricky. We don't always think about the in world reasoning of their characters. Often, we just assume that they're doing something to be funny.

We see Sokka insisting to be the leader as: haha, funny bossy guy. Instead of: damn, this kid has been conditioned to take so much responsibility for the safety and well-being of others.

We see Bolin bending over backwards to please Eska as: oh, that Bolin, such a silly guy. Instead of: oh, shit this teenager spent his entire life as a dependent to his brother so his decisionmaking skills and backbone are probably extremely stunted.

This isn't helped by the fact that these character's pain, distress, grief and sadness are often played for laughs. And yeah, often the scene is funny. But that doesn't negate the character's in-world suffering.

I think this is what occasionally can be quite upsetting to me when people don't take this character seriously because they're "only meant to be there for the comedy". Maybe with a more straightforward show, I'd take that answer, but Avatar leaves us these pretty obvious breadcrumbs.

Avatar is a pretty well crafted show, in the end and most of the main cast have their nuances and storylines that raise them above the tropes they're meant to represent.

PS: This is not to say that Sokka and Katara have the same trauma, nor that Mako and Bolin have the same trauma. Both pairs of siblings took up different roles in their respective dynamics.

For example, Sokka visibly takes up the role as defender, provider and planner, wheras Katara deals with the more domestic tasks (yay sexism). This shows in how their trauma manifests in dufferent ways. Sokka's need to prove himself vs Katara's frustration at her percieved "role" in society.

Mako and Bolin's past is more nebulous, but I would argue Bolin still played an important role in his and Mako's lives. Bolin is cheerful and bubbly, almost by design. It wouldn't be a leap in logic to assume that a bit of that cheer may be fabricated in order to keep going. Bolin's lack of personal growth due to being Mako's dependent is also a symptom of his trauma.

It also bears to mention that these character's competence is also often downplayed due to the humorous ways in which they fail. Sokka planned an invasion on an entire nation that would've succeeded had it not been for Azula gaining insider information. He invented submarines. While Bolin is one of the most efficient and powerful earthbenders combatwise (I'm tired of pretending he's a mid bender the only thing stopping my man from commiting mass murder is his heart of gold). They are not just haha funny idiots. Put some respect on their names.

Ok I'm done stating the obvious now.

#getting off my soapbox #sokka #bolin #katara #mako #legend of korra #avatar #tlok #the legend of korra #avatar the legend of korra #atlok #lok #atla #a:tla #avatar: the last airbender #the last airbender #avatar the last airbender

[wosomaanum]

Pains | Jessie Fleming x Reader

Summary: You we’re on day two of your period, and it hurt everywhere. You’re girlfriend, Jessie was there to help.

Warnings: anything to do with periods, medication

Notes: Short

————————

You were wrapped up in bed, clutching your stomach. You felt horrible and just miserable. Not only were you having severe cramps and dealing with your period, but you had a horrible headache.

“Hey babe, I saw this really cool resta-“ your girlfriend, Jessie is soon cut off by her own concern as she enters the room - her speech that trailed along the hallway coming to a halt.

“Baby what’s wrong?” Jess says instinctively, her freckles highlighted by the sun hitting her face - perfectly framing her features. All of which you adored.

“I promise it’s not that bad. I’m fine, really.” You knew you weren’t, and you knew Jessie knew that too.

Jessie cutely grumbled in a soft tone. “I know you’re not. Are you on your period, is it cramps? What do you need me to get you?” A sudden plethora of questions escaped her mouth.

“Jessie I said I’m fine.”

“You are not fine. I’m gonna get you a few things. Just stay here.”

You told her not to bother, but your words fell on deaf ears.

Soon, Jessie returned. A hot water bottle clutched in her arm and some medication and water in the other. She speed walked over to your side and crouched down next to the bed as she examined your face.

“Hey hey. It’s okay I’m here.” She comforts you, as she places the hot water bottle on your stomach. She brushes some loose strands of hair out of your face.

“I’ve got some paracetamol okay? Come on let’s just sit up for a moment.” She gently guides you so your back is against the headboard before she hands you your medication. You drink it, reluctantly - knowing your too stubborn to let others take care of you.

"Here you go, love," she says softly, handing you the medication and water. "This should help a bit.”

You didn’t grow up in a house of affection. You weren’t use to it and it made you feel awkward. You were stubborn, and you knew it but Jessie made you better. Overtime, she made a dent in your stubborn exterior slowly and slowly peeling back the layers. Of course, there was still times you felt like you were a burden but Jessie always reassured you that you weren’t.

The truth is you weren’t.

———————

Throughout the day, Jessie ensures you are as comfortable as possible. She prepares meals that are not only nutritious but also easy on your stomach. Whether it's a bowl of hearty vegetable soup or a plate of fresh fruit, she prioritizes your well-being with every bite.

"How about some soup for lunch?" she suggests. "I made your favorite vegetable soup.

"That sounds perfect," you reply, grateful for her thoughtfulness.

Understanding that rest is crucial, she encourages you to take it easy, often taking over household chores to allow you some much-needed relaxation.

"Why don't you lie down for a bit? I'll handle the laundry," she says, giving you a reassuring smile.

When the pain gets intense, Jessie is there with a stash of your favorite chocolates and a comforting hand. She’ll sit with you, holding your hand, or massaging your lower back when the cramps are unbearable.

"Do you need anything else?" she asks, her eyes full of concern. "Let me know if the cramps get worse."

"Just having you here helps a lot," you admit, squeezing her hand.

In the evenings, Jessie suggests watching your favorite shows or movies, a welcome distraction.

"How about we watch that new comedy series you've been wanting to see?" she offers, dimming the lights and creating a cozy atmosphere. You snuggle up together on the couch, her warmth and care transforming these difficult days into manageable ones.

Jessie’s unwavering support not only eases the physical discomfort but also makes you feel profoundly loved and cared for. "I don't know what I'd do without you," you whisper, snuggled against her.

"You'll never have to find out," she replies, kissing your forehead gently.

#jessie fleming #jessie fleming x reader #period cramps #period #portland thorns #canada #canwnt #jflem #woso #woso fanfics #woso x reader

[hearts-hunger]

evergreen — part five

Read on AO3 | Masterlist | Cabin Fever Masterlist | Join my taglist here!

Series Summary: Jake takes you on your first vacation to the cabin the gang stays at every year. When memories of past relationships loom heavy, will this vacation send cracks through the foundation of safety and trust you have in each other?

Chapter Summary: In your love nest, you and Jake heal every hurt.

Pairings: Jake x Reader, Josh x Baby, Sam x Danny | Genre: fluff, emotional h/c | Word Count: 2.5k | Warnings: sexual innuendo, smoking

A/N: The last chapter of this little fic! I'm so thankful for all the love you've showered on Jake and Sparrow, despite how silly they've been. I hope this chapter is everything you're hoping for! ♡

Coming into the tent was a tangle of something shy and gentle and cautious, wet hair plastered to your faces and shared looks of love and longing and apology as you tried to figure out what to say to each other. You both knew you needed to talk, but for a while, there was nothing but the sound of the rain; he helped you out of your boots and jacket, setting them neatly in the corner of the tent. You sat together in the doorway, watching the rain, smoking a few cigarettes from the crumpled pack from his jacket pocket.

“Thank you for my love nest,” you said. You brushed his wet, curly hair back from his face. “You didn't have to do all this, Jake. And in the middle of the night and in the rain, too.”

“I wanted to,” he said. “I wanted you to have a place that was just for you. You’re everything to me, and you deserve something from me that I haven't shared with anyone else.”

You knew you already had something from him that belonged to the two of you alone, and it wasn't your love nest, as wonderful as it was. You knew you had him, had his heart in a way that no one else ever had, just like he had yours.

A bruise showed on his neck, and you reached a cautious hand out to brush your fingers over it.

“I’m sorry, Jake,” you said softly. “All that — it was stupid. And it was my fault.”

He gave a rueful smile. “Takes two to tango, sparrow.”

You let your hand fall to your lap. “Yeah.”

He glanced over at you after a moment. “Besides, you were the one who said you didn't want to fight.”

“Much good it did me,” you said quietly. Though there was an understanding between you now, you still didn't know what to say, how to tell him things you could hardly sort out yourself. “I didn’t want to fight. Or maybe I did. I don't know.”

You put your cigarette out and looked for a place to put it; he held his hand out and put it in the pocket of his jacket. 

“I don't know why I always do this,” you said softly. “I don't know why I keep everything bottled up until it turns into a huge catastrophe.” You felt the sting of tears, remembering how you'd hurt him, how poorly you'd treated the one you loved more than anything, feeling guilty for your inability to give him the apology he deserved.

“And then I do this,” you said, “and make it a pity party for how stupid I am.”

He ran a soothing hand over your back. “Yeah. You do.” You could hear the smile in his voice. “Too bad I love you, sparrow.”

“Oh, you're joking, but it’s true,” you said miserably. “I was awful to you. I don't know how you put up with it.”

“I just told you why,” he said gently. He brushed his hands through your hair. “I love you, sparrow. Pity parties and all.”

You turned your tear-streaked face to him and met his eyes, sucking in a choppy breath. “Even like this?”

“Yes, sparrow. Even like this.” He brushed your tears away with a gentle touch. “I thought I told you not to cry, silly girl. You never listen to me.”

You couldn't help a watery laugh, and he gave you a tender smile. 

“I'm sorry I hurt you,” he said. “I didn't mean to, but I understand how that doesn't make it any easier. I'd be doing the same thing as you if it was the other way around.”

You shook your head. “You wish you could cry as much as I do, Kiszka. You don't ever cry.”

“That’s not true.” He tucked your hair behind your ear. “I cried when I left.” His smile was wry and rueful. “That's why I left, partly, to be all stoic and manly while I cried like a baby.”

Your heart twisted. “Jake. You could have woken me up.”

“Yeah, I know.” He grazed his knuckles over your cheek. “But you needed to sleep, and I couldn't figure out what to say to you anyway. The way I treated you... that was a mistake, sparrow, and I regret it. All of it — the fighting, the sex, not seeing you as you are, not giving you what you needed. I'm sorry.”

You bit the inside of your cheek, but your tears were starting in earnest again. “Me too, Jake. I’m sorry for all of it too.”

“My girl,” he said softly, a gentle, teasing smile on his face. “There you go again, looking at me with your heart in your eyes, everything spilling over.” 

He pulled you close; you leaned into his chest, your head thumping pitifully against his collarbone. He gave you a tight, comforting squeeze, rocking you gently.

“We’re a mess, aren’t we?” he asked.

You breathed a laugh. “I’d rather be a mess with you than do anything else.”

“Me too.”

“I love you, Jake.”

He kissed your forehead. “I love you too, sparrow. Come lay with me and let me show you how much.”

With soft, healing laughter, you helped each other out of your damp clothes and lay in the nest of pillows and blankets together. You pulled him close and combed your fingers through his hair.

“You’re beautiful,” you said softly. He was, all warm and soft under the golden fairy lights, and the peace that filled his expression now was more lovely to you than anything you'd ever seen.

A sweet blush pinked his cheeks. “Thank you, sparrow. You're beautiful too.”

He cradled your face in his palm and traced the pad of his thumb over your cheek. “I didn’t bring you here to sleep with you. We can if you want, but I understand if you don't. We can do whatever you want.”

You hummed. “How about mad libs?”

He chuckled. “If you want. It's your love nest, sparrow. You pick.”

You drew him close and kissed him, slow and sweet and deep. “I want to be with you, Jake.”

“I want to be with you too, sparrow.”

You spent long minutes relearning each other, his mouth gentle against yours, remembering how to love each other with patience and tender touches. He pulled you snug against him with a hand splayed over your back; you melted into him, safe and loved and mended. He kissed the places he’d left marks before, healing with every touch, until everything was right in the world.

He brushed his fingers over your cheek. “Let me make love to you, sparrow. Let me do it right this time.”

“Okay,” you said softly.

He stayed with you, close and warm and generous with his kisses, and you gave a contented sigh when you were joined. He was slow, gentle, patient; you blossomed under him like a flower opening to the sun, drinking in all of him, surrounded by him and the love he gave you so easily and willingly. 

“With me, sparrow,” he said, holding you close. “Please, love. With me.”

Pleasure, joy, something nameless and old and perfect; you felt them all when he moved inside you, when you heard his sigh and the words of love he spoke to you, when you felt the way he loved you and held you after.

“Sparrow, sparrow,” he said, gentle, breathless. “I love you. You're my heart. You know that, don't you?”

“Yes, Jake,” you said softly. You kissed him. “You’re my heart too.”

—

The rain kept up a steady beat on the roof of your tent, comforting now instead of lonely, and in the afterglow, Jake was full of laughter and bright with smiles you couldn't help but return. You talked about everything and nothing, listening to each other’s voices, coming together in pleasant interludes of hands on skin and tenderness in every place you needed it. 

“Let's never fight again,” you said.

He gave a gentle laugh, drawing your intertwined hands up to study them in the soft light. “Okay. It's not very realistic, honey, but we can try.”

“I mean... not like that again,” you said. His hand was the perfect fit for yours, callused and gentle and strong; the macrame bracelet you'd made for him years ago rested at his wrist. “You’re better at it than I am.”

He didn’t deny it; he couldn't, not when he was so good at it, at knowing when to step back and take a minute and when to talk again when you were both calmer. You relied on him in that, and it wasn't until now that you realized just how heavily you depended on his good judgement and diligence in it. 

It also made you realize just how angry you must have made him earlier to push him over the edge of that judgement. It was that thought that kept you from feeling completely content, and you felt you could apologize to him over and over and never do it enough.

“Jake,” you said softly. You tucked your hands between you. “Can you forgive me?”

He kissed your collarbone. “I already have, sparrow.”

Your throat felt tight. “How?”

“You know how,” he said gently. “Tell me.”

You drew him up to kiss you again. “Because you love me.”

“That’s right. Because I love you.”

“I love you too,” you said, meaning it more than anything you'd ever said in your life. “Teach me how to be better to you.”

“I like you the way you are, sparrow.”

You smiled. “I know that too. But you’d like me more if I knew how to tell you what I was feeling.”

He shrugged. “I’ll get better at reading you,” he said. “Teach me how to do that, and I’ll teach you to be a lover, not a fighter.”

You giggled as he kissed your neck. “Can we start right now?”

“Sure. Tell me how you're feeling. But first...” He gently stretched you out beneath him. “I think you're feeling safe, and happy, and.... hm. Maybe excited. A little.”

You laughed. “Correct. See, I told you — you’re better at it than I am.”

He hummed. “Anything else? Maybe I missed something.”

“Well...” You were a little bashful. “Maybe I feel kind of hungry.”

He gave a dramatic groan. “Oh, I knew I missed something.” He smiled and kissed you. “Let’s get you something to eat, then.”

You dressed again and found it was a short walk back to the cabin. In the bathroom mirror, you saw a bright, lovely color in your face and much preferred it to the sickly look you’d had before. You changed into clothes that weren't soaked with rain and ventured back out to the living room; Sam and Danny had gone to bed, but Josh and Baby were asleep on the couch, his head in her lap, her hands lightly tangled in his curls. She woke when you came in, looking up at you with a sleepy smile.

“All better?” she whispered.

You couldn't help a beaming smile. “Yeah. All better.”

“Oh, thank goodness,” she sighed. “I thought I was going to have to take you both by the ear and make you fix things.”

You gave a soft laugh. “No need. We’ve decided we’re never fighting again.”

Her smile turned to more of a smirk. “Well, good sex will do that. Let me know if you crack the code, and I’ll try it with this one.”

She gently roused her boyfriend and rewarded him with a kiss. “Bed, Joshy.”

He nodded, half-asleep. “Okay, baby.”

She gave your hand a gentle squeeze as she led him to bed, and you were so glad that everything was right in your family, that you were all happy and had the rest of your vacation to enjoy each other.

“Sparrow, my dearest.”

You turned towards the kitchen to see Jake with a hodgepodge of midnight snacks. 

“Chef Kiszka strikes again,” you teased.

He grinned. “Well, I figured you didn't want to wait for a full-blown Julia Child recipe, but I’ll make something fancier if you want.”

“No, this is perfect.” You stole a pretzel and popped it in your mouth. “Delicious. Better than anything Julia Child could make.”

He chuckled. “I’m glad you like it.”

“Can we take it back out to our love nest?”

“Uh... yes,” he said, looking around the kitchen. “I might have to throw it all in a Ziploc bag, though, to save it getting rained on.”

You hummed in agreement. “Like a weird trail mix.”

He smiled. “Something like that.”

Weird trail mix in hand, you went back out to your tent and got cosy again. He peeled a tangerine for you, handing you pieces of it and stealing a few for himself, and you found that he’d brought the copy of Rilke’s poems you’d gotten him last Christmas.

“I didn't know you actually liked this,” you said, thumbing through the dog-eared pages, seeing the notes he'd made in the margins. 

“What do you mean?” he asked. “Of course I liked it. I read it all the time. He’s your favorite.”

Your heart tilted. “He is my favorite.” You handed the book to him. “Will you read me our poem?”

He smiled. “As if you don't have it memorized,” he teased gently.

You shrugged. “It’s not the same as hearing you read it. I love to listen to your voice.”

He looked pleased and a little bashful, taking the book and opening it to the poem he’d used as words of love before you even knew he loved you. His voice was soft and warm as he read, giving every word its meaning as a little piece in a tapestry of affection and beauty.

“Show me the miracle of your hair unbound,” he read. “I want to surround you with your secret self... I want to close every place you've ever been with a kiss, leaving nothing but inner skies.”

You leaned close and let him kiss you and leave you with nothing but inner skies, deep, boundless, full of meaning and wonder. You lay together again, tucked close to each other, and he read to you from your favorite poet.

“How we waste our hours of pain,” he read, his voice rumbling comfortingly in his chest. “How we gaze beyond them into the bitter duration to see if they have an end. Though they are really our winter-enduring foliage, our dark evergreen, one season in our inner year — not only a season in time, but a place and settlement, foundation and soil and home.”

You touched his cheek, feeling the words of the poem ring true for the two of you — in the safety of the love you shared, your hours of pain were something more, something evergreen, a foundation on which you built a stronger love to make a home in together. 

“I love you, Jake,” you said, very softly.

He kissed you and held you close. “My sweet sparrow. I love you too.”

taglist: @viagvf @allieisacrybaby @itsafullmoon @spark-my-nature @anthemheatwave @xserenax-13 @musicspeaks @mountain-in-springtime @stardustsecret @alwaysonthemend @madneedshelp @josh-iamyour-mama @dannythedog @thecoldwind @woyayaofdreams @joshkiszkapunchmeintheface @lostoverseer

and some cabin fever besties who were excited for this one :)  @shutupdevvie @gold-mines-melting @earthlysorrows @brooke-gvf

join my taglist here!

#i hope you love it!!! #jake kiszka fanfiction #jake kiszka fluff #greta van fleet fanfiction #gvf fanfiction #evergreen fic #cabin fever fics #maddie writes stuff!

[larluce]

Merlin as Arthur's familiar/Arthur's shapeshifter falcon AU

@dsabian , @theplatanitosqueal , @stressed-but-chill , @gregre369 , @chaosofbelievers , @thelordofabsolutelynothing , @another-tblr-fangirl , @aceauthorcatqueen , @smileytrinity , @tiny-and-witchy

LINK TO THE OTHER PARTS: PART 1 , PART 2 , PART 3 , PART 4 , PART 5 , PART 6 , PART 7

Arthur: (makes a space on the table and places the nest with his chicks in front of him)

Uther: (whispers) What do you think you're doing?

Arthur: (whispering back) You told me to come no matter how.

Uther: (whisper yelling) That doesn't mean you had to bring them!

Arthur: Father, the chicks are very young, I can't be away from them.

Uther: Merlin isn't.

Arthur: He can't either, he's the dad.

Uther: They are not even really his!

Merlin: (chirps sadly lowering his head) 🥺

Arthur: (To Merlin, brings his little head closer to his, comforting him) No, they are yours, you are his dad, of course they are yours. (To Uther) Father, I understand that you are angry with me, but you didn't have to hurt his feelings.

Uther: (almost yelling) I didn't- (controls himself and whispers again) I mean you could have entrusted them to some servants if they need that much care.

Morgana: Oh, they wouldn't be able handle them. (Affectionately patting the chicks on the head) These merlins require very specific care and are afraid of strangers.

Uther: And may I know how you are aware of that information, Morgana? 🤨

Morgana: Oh… 😅 Suddenly I really want to dance! If you allow me, Your Majesty. (stands up, bows and goes to dance)

Rain: (watches with interest as Morgana dances)

Uther: (sighs and turns to Arthur) You should dance with the guests too, Arthur.

Arthur: I can't.

Uther: Why not?

Arthur: (thinking) Because I have a jealous merlin watching me. (Says) I already told you, I can't be away from my chicks.

Uther: Your chicks?

Merlin: (Chirps) 😠

Arthur: Our chicks, they are ours.

Merlin: (Chirps, nodding) 😊

Uther: ...

Uther: Your obsession with merlins is worrying me, son.

Lady Elena: (approaches) Your Majesty, Your Highness. (bows to both of them) I hope I'm not being too forward, I just wanted to tell Your Highness that you have some wonderful birds.

Arthur: (smiles, genuinely pleased by the compliment to his family) Thank you very much, Lady Elena. And they are merlins.

Lady Elena: Yes, I heard. (Giggles) They are beautiful, can I touch them? (extends her hand to the chicks)

Merlin: (Chirps threateningly) 😡

Arthur: For the sake of your fingers, I'd rather you don't, Lady Elena. My Merlin is very jealous of his chicks.

Lady Elena: I understand. Do they have a name?

Arthur: Yes, this one is-RAIN! 😨 (almost shouts when he sees Rain out of the nest) Rain, go back to the nest right now 😠.

Lady Elena: (very surprised) Oh, my Gods! Is it doing what I think it's doing?

Arthur: What? (he looks over the nest, thinking that maybe Rain pooped on the table, worried)

Lady Elena: (exclaims out loud, dying of tenderness) It's dancing! 😍

Rain: (imitating the ladies' dance steps, spinning around and sometimes raising her wings)

Lady Vivian: (Getting closer) What? Really? (Watches Rain) Awww how cute! 😊

Other guests: (Come closer to see Rain too, making similar comments, delighted with Rain and they applaud)

Guardian and Brave: (also wanting some attention, leave the nest and start dancing)

Guests: (more heartfelt exclamations and applause)

Uther: (thinking) When did this become a street show? For Gods' sake!

Arthur: (watches his chicks dance with a smile)

Merlin: (pecks Arthur's ear)

Arthur: Ow, (whispers) What's wrong?

Merlin: (just looking at him) 😑

Arthur: I already told you it's not that kind of dance. It's harmless.

Merlin: 😑

Arthur: Leave them, they're having fun. (To Wary who is still in the nest) Don't you want to dance with your siblings?

Wary: (shakes his head and gets comfortable on the nest that he now has all for himself)

Arthur: Wait... (Looks around the nest, panicking) Where's Blizzard? (stands up and shouts) Blizzard? BLIZZARD!

Merlin: (just as worried, chirps loudly and starts flying around the place)

The ovation stops and the musicians stop playing due to the prince's reaction.

Uther: Arthur, by the Gods, don't make a scene!

Morgana: (puts a comforting hand on Arthur's shoulder) Don't worry, he always gets lost, we'll find him.

Arthur: In my chambers, not here! The room is very large, there are many dangerous objects. And the table! Did he fall off the table? What if someone stepped on him?

Morgana: Arthur-

Arthur: (raises voice to everyone) No one! Absolutely no one here move! And close the doors! If someone hurts that chick even by accident I'll kill them myself!

Uther: (shocked) Arthur!

Guests: (freeze and look at the ground in fear)

Morgana: Uh… And whoever finds him will have a reward! 😄

Guests and servants: (start searching immediately, being careful where they step)

Lady Vivian: (to Elena, complaining as she searches) What kind of feast is this? What a lack of property. 😒

Lady Elena: Are you kidding? This is the most fun feast I've ever been to! 😊

Rain, Brave and Guardian: (they chirp, looking around confused and afraid without knowing what is happening) 🥺🥺🥺

Arthur: You, back to the nest, now!

Rain: (returns to the nest)

Brave: (chirps in protest)

Guardian: (pecks Brave and chirps, pointing at the nest with his little wing) 😠

Brave: (pecks him back, but goes to the nest)

Guardian: (goes to the nest once his siblings are there)

Uther: (impressed, to Arthur) Did you train them?

Arthur: (absentmindedly) No, they obbey me when they want. (gives the nest to Morgana) Don't let them out of your sight.

Morgana: Got it.

Arthur: (To Guardian) And you take care of your siblings.

Guardian: (chirps, raising his little wing)

Arthur: (calls, looking around) Blizzard? Blizzard!

Merlin: (chirps as he flies around)

Servant 1: (shouts while putting his hands into a punch bowl) Sire, I found it! (Takes Blizzard out of the bowl)

Blizzard: (All purple and soaked, shaking, chirps) 🥺

All the guests who drank punch: (throw their drink and make gestures of disgust)

Arthur: (Runs to Blizzard) My baby! (grabs Blizzard and brings him close to his face) Thank the Gods! You are alright.

Blizzard: (chirps)

Arthur: Don't scare me like that again! (He snuggles him next to his chest, relieved)

Merlin: (landes on Arthur's wrist and pecks Blizzard, scolding him) 😠

Blizzard: (chirps crying) 😭

Arthur: Merlin, don't peck him, he learned his leason.

Merlin: (pecks Blizzard again) 😠

Blizzard: (chirps crying louder) 😭

Arthur: Merlin! 😠

Servant 1: Uhm... Sire? My reward?

Arthur: Oh, right. (puts the hand that is not holding Merlin and Blizzard into his pocket and takes out a couple of gold coins) Sorry, it's the only thing I have on me right now. (gives Servant 1 the coins)

Morgana: (adds a jewel) Here. I hope it's enough.

Servant 1: (more than happy, without being able to believe it) Th-thank you, sire, my lady 🥲🤧 (bows)

Uther: Alright, enough show. Someone take these merlins.

Arthur: But-

Uther: No, Arthur. I think they will be able to survive without you for a couple of hours and it's clear this place is not safe for them.

Morgana: He's right, Arthur. Also Blizzard needs a bath. And Merlin will be with them. Right, Merlin

Merlin: ...

Arthur: (sighs and whispers) I'm not going to dance with anyone, I swear.

Merlin: (he looks at him warningly, but eventually nods and pecks Blizzard again)

Servant 1: (wanting more gold) I'll bathe your bird, sire!

Gwen: (gives servant 1 a bad look and also approaches to help) I will gladly carry the nest and take care of them, my lady (carries the nest with the chicks)

Morgana: Thank you, Gwen. (to Servant 1) Call Gaius to the prince's chambers. He will tell you both how to care for these little ones.

Uther: (exasperated) Gaius knows about this too, of course.

Arthur: (Looks at his chicks unsure, but finally puts Blizzard in the nest)

Merlin: (goes to the nest with his chicks)

Chicks: (chirp crying) 😭😭😭😭😭

Arthur: Sssh, No, don't cry. (Caresses their little heads) I'll come with you in a moment. (Kisses Merlin on the head goodbye)

Servant 1 and Gwen: (bow and leave with the nest)

Arthur: (watches them leave, sad)

Uther: (coughs and raises his voice) Well, let's get back to the celebration.

Time skip. Everyone is dancing and having fun, while Arthur sits at the table, uneasy .

Uther: Son, it's your party. Go and have some fun.

Arthur: (talking to himself, worried) How long was he in that bowl?

Uther: What?

Arthur: What if punch got into his little lungs?

Uther: (sighs) Arthur-

Arthur: And how much of that did he drink? Is sugar poisonous to birds? What if he gets sick?

Uther: Oh, for Gods' sake! Go. Go with your merlins.

Arthur: (surprised) Really?

Uther: There's no point in you being here if your mind is elsewhere. I'll see what excuse I give to the guests. Now go.

Arthur: (very happy) Thank you, father! (Bows and leaves)

Uther: Yeah, you're still going to be grounded after this 😒

In Arthur's chambers. Servant 1 and Gwen feed Wary, Guardian, Rain, and Brave with pieces of a dead sparrow Merlin brought, while Gaius examines Blizzard after being given a thorough bath.

Gaius: Everything seems fine. (To Blizzard, who is sitting on a mattress on the table) You were a very naughty bird.

Merlin: (Tears off a piece of the dead bird and flies to Blizzard)

Gaius: Look, your father saved your dinner for you.

Blizzard: (Chirps in protest and shakes his head)

Servant 1: Why doesn't he want to eat?

Gwen: Maybe he doesn't like that part of the sparrow? You know, like when you prefer the leg of the chicken instead of the breast.

Servant 1: How fussy.

Merlin: (leaves the meat on the table, pecks Blizzard and chirps annoyed) 😡

Blizzard: (chirps and reluctantly eats his meat)

Servant 1: Suddenly I remembered my mother...

Arthur: (enters)

Gaius: Oh, sire. You're back early.

Merlin: (flies to Arthur and lands on the wrist Arthur immediately raises)

Arthur: (brings him closer to bump his nose with Merlin's beak, affectionately) I missed you too.

Rain, Wary, Guardian and Brave: (they walk quickly to Arthur, moving their wings and chirping excitedly)

Blizzard: (jumps from the table to the chair to the floor and goes to Arthur chirping happily too)

Arthur: I missed all of you. I told you I'd be back soon. (approaches them and sits on the floor with his legs crossed)

Chicks: (climb on Arthur's legs and snuggle)

Arthur: (To the servants) Thank you for taking care of them, you can leave now.

Servant 1: Any time, sire (bows and leaves)

Gwen: Rest well, my lord (bows and leaves)

Gaius: Call me if you need me, your highness (Bows). Merlin (bows again). Little merlins (last bow and leaves)

Merlin: (he flies from Arthur's wrist to the floor and changes into his human form while sitting on the ground next to Arthur) Gaius already checked Blizzard, he has nothing.

Arthur: Despite the pecks you gave him?

Merlin: (rolls his eyes) You're too soft on them.

Chicks: 😴😴😴😴😴

Arthur: (says softly) They fell asleep.

Merlin: (Just as softly) It must have been an exhausting day for them (He takes Rain, Wary and Blizzard gently and cradles them in his arms) So… (makes the nest appear with magic on his lap and affectionately places the chicks there) Did you have fun?

Arthur: Actually, no. (cradles Brave and Guardian) I was too worried about my family to do it. (He places them in the nest too)

Merlin: (smiles at the use of the word "family" without being able to help it)

Arthur: And I didn't dance with anyone.

Merlin: You better 😑. I thought you'd stop going to those dances after we mated.

Arthur: Wait… All those times I went to balls, you thought I was trying to… 'mate' with the ladys?

Merlin: (confused) Didn't you?

Arthur: No! That's what I was trying to explain. Dancing for humans is not the same as for birds. Yes, it can be a form of courtship, but that's not necessarily what it's for. We humans do it to have fun or just to pass the time more than anything.

Merlin: Oh... Well, that explains a lot. It was strange they rejected you so many times.

Arthur: (incredulous) You thought they rejected me? The prince of Camelot? Literally the best match there is?

Merlin: That's why I said it was strange! I mean, you're very attractive for human standars too and, while you act like an idiot, a spoiled brat, and have too much pride and little imagination most of the time-

Arthur: Don't defend me so much...

Merlin: You also have a big heart and are brave and strong. More than you give yourself credit for sometimes.

Arthur: Really?

Merlin: You took care of me when I broke my wing, you kept protecting me and Morgana after you found out we have magic and you helped me with the chicks before you wanted to be their father at all. What kind of female doesn't want those qualities in her mate? I was very offended that they rejected you, though I was also relieved.

Arthur: (blushes, but laughs softly) Merlin, honestly, if you believed all this time that I was dancing with other women for that purpose, why did you make such a fuss just now?

Merlin: (pouting and crossing his arms) We weren't mated before. (Thinks for a moment) Wait, so our dance was just for fun? 🥺

Arthur: No, that was a flying dance. I knew how valuable it was to you and that's why I did it. (Takes Merlin's hand) I wanted to make it clear that I want to be with you and only you.

Merlin: (smiles, blushing) It was the most beautiful dance, we flew together without flying, I had never experienced anything like it. (his smile falls) But it really didn't mean anything, did it? I'm not a bird, I'm not human either and to others I'm just your pet, and that's okay, that's how we decided it would be from the beginning and I accepted it.

Arthur: (His heart breaking) Merlin-

Merlin: I know what you're going to say. That for you it's not like that, that you love me, that you don't care what others think, but if our situations were reversed, if you were the one who had to constantly hide who you are, pretend that you are my pet in front of others, something less than a person, when you are really my mate, that wouldn't give you that much comfort, would it?

Arthur: (sighs) I guess not. (Cradles Merlin's face) But it won't always be like this. When I'm king everything will be different. You won't have to hide anymore and neither will Morgana. And I'll show you off all the time.

Merlin: (sheds a tear) And until then?

Arthur: Until then… (Looks in his pocket for something) You can have this. (Gives him his mother's sigil)

Merlin: (confused) What is this

Arthur: It was my mother's. It has her sigil.

Merlin: (looks at it, delighted) It's a bird! 😄

Arthur: (smiles) Yes, that was the symbol of my mother's house. In royalty, giving the royal sigil to someone is practically an engagement.

Merlin: (confused) Huh?

Arthur: Let's say the proposal to mate for humans.

Merlin: Oh! (Blushes)

Arthur: Again, there is no rush for that, (Laughs softly) but it's a promise, not only of our love, but that I will give you the kind of relationship you deserve one day.

Merlin: (Gives him a brief kiss on the lips) I believe you and I'll treasure this with my life. (uses magic to make a chain around his neck and puts the sigil there) And now... (stands slowly carrying the nest) Time to put them on top of the wardrobe.

Arthur: (stands up too) I still think it's too high.

Merlin: I've seen nests in trees higher than this. Or do you want to chase them around the room again? 🤨

Arthur: What if they fall? 😨

Merlin: They're not going to fall. 😒

Arthur: They leave the nest more frequently now.

Merlin: But they're not idiots. They are not going to jump from that height.

Arthur: Blizzard wanted to jump out of the window when he was only a week old!

Merlin: Because he didn't have the awareness he has now, he has grown up since then and even he isn't that dumb to do that.

Arthur: That was just a week ago!

Merlin: You said it yourself, they grow fast.

Arthur: But-

Merlin: (done) Fine! I'll put a magic barrier around the nest, happy?

Arthur: Very.

Merlin: (he rolls his eyes, but smiles and puts the nest on top of the wardrobe) Sleep well, my chicks 😊.

...

Just so you know, this is Merlin in his bird form:

Male merlins are grey or blue ish and female merlins are brown ish. However, Merlin's feathers are more brown and just a bit grey ish. That's why most merlins think he's a female at the beginning and when they realise he's a male later they kind of don't care xD. Even as a bird our Merlin is a charmer 😎

Also here more pictures of our chicks:

#merlin bbc #bbc merlin #merlin #merthur #merlin fanfic #merlin fic #merlin prompt #merthur fic #merlin and arthur #arthur and merlin #merthur prompt #merthur fanfiction #merthur fanfic #Merlin as Arthur's familiar/Arthur's shapeshifter falcon AU

[rekino2114]

How the chainsaw man girls handle jealousy

A/n:I usually don't write for the csm 2 girls but let me know if you want me to and I'll add them to the masterlist (mainly cause I really like fami)

Makima

Thanks to you, makima, now could finally feel true emotions. You made her feel the happiness of being truly loved, the sadness of being without you, anger when a devil had the gall to hurt you, and the worry of when you came injured from a mission and so on..

She felt another one of those emotions when she saw you talking to another girl at the public safety headquarters, a particularly flirty one who apparently didn't know you were dating her boss.

Ah this must be jealousy.

She wasn't that bothered by it. She knows she can trust that you'll never leave her. However, the moment she starts touching you even after you clearly rejected her and is making you feel uncomfortable, that girl is dead.

She might have better morals after meeting you but she's not above killing who she deems as human scum.

But if things don't reach that stage, the girl might just be assigned a particularly difficult mission as her next

"Sorry, but I have a girlfriend,"

"Who cares? It's not like she's gonna know anyway"

"Sorry to interrupt, but I'd like to talk to y/n"

"Ah! M-miss makima!"

"Oh sure babe"

"B-babe? You mean she's your girlfriend"

"Exactly, and now that you know I suggest not looking forward to your next mission"

Power

The moment she sees you talking to another girl, she gets mad, she assumes you're cheating on her cause she doesn't have that much of an understanding of relationships.

In her eyes, you don't need anyone else when she's clearly the best option.

She's also really angry towards the girl. How dare she try to steal what's hers? Even though she wasn't flirting with you

"Hey! Y/n! What are you doing talking to this human"

"Oh power, don't worry she was just asking me directions"

"Like I believe that! You better go away this very moment I'll kill you!"

"Power be nice"

"Only if you stop talking to this bitch"

"*sigh* I'm so sorry"

Himeno

How she reacts depends on how drunk she is.

She gets really clingy when she is drunk, so she'll hug you from behind and lazily try to pull you away from the girl you were talking to while mumbling some incoherent words and that's usually your sign to take her home.

She's really not that jealous when sober, even when a girl flirts, she doesn't get mad, she understands her,after all if she didn't flirt with you she wouldn't have gotten with her amazing partner.

"Hey, you having fun without me over here?

"Oh sorry hime,I was just about to tell her I have a girlfriend"

"Oh you do? Sorry I had no idea"

"It's fine. I get it they're so stunning anyone would try to get with them"

"Did you just use the fact that a girl was flirting with me as a way to flirt with me?

"Guess so, I guess complimenting you is just second nature to me"

Kobeni higashiyama

This poor nervous wreck of a girl.

Whenever she sees you talking to another girl, she kinda gets anxious and starts comparing herself to that girl. Imagine how it is when a girl actually flirts with you

She starts overthinking and sweating,thoughts that you're gonna leave her for the other girl and how she's a bad girlfriend her fill her head.

She'd rather self combust than try to confront the girl with you around so she'll just continue wallowing in self-pity until you finish.

She needs a lot of hugs and reassurances later to calm down

"Hey, are you OK, kobeni? You were sweating and shaking"

"O-oh n-o i'm ok, what about t-that girl you were talking to?"

"I told her I had a girlfriend and she left, don't worry,more importantly, let's continue out date"

"R-really?"

"Of course you're my girlfriend right? I'd much rather hang out with you than some random girl"

"Uhm t-thank you"

Asa mitaka

She is also kind of anxious and worried just way less than kobeni.

She feels kind of like a bad and boring girlfriend often, and that feeling skyrockets when a girl flits with you.

She trusts you, but seeing you so close to that girl while she blatantly flirts, you just makes her feel kinda angry at her, and yoru definitely tries to take advantage of that.

"Come on don't you wanna get rid of that anyway"

"Not in that way yoru!"

"Just turn her into a weapon, that way I get a new one to fight chainsaw man, and you get to take care of that bitch"

"I'm not gonna do that"

"Geez you really are a bad girlfriend then"

"I'M NOT A BAD GIRLFRIEND"

"........"

"D-did I say that out loud?"

"Yeah but don't worry at least it was the truth"

Yoru

You and yoru begged asa to let her take control of her body for just an entire date. After a lot of hesitancy, she accepted but made yoru promise not to kill anyone........ You should probably think twice before trusting the war devil

The moment she saw another girl even look st you with a flirty gaze, immediately she turned her into a weapon without any hesitation.

You weren't that shocked, dating yoru does come with a very high chance of her to murder people she even thinks are trying to steal you, you were kinda mad at her for what she promised asa though.

"*sighs* why did you do that?"

"You're mine she was trying to take you from me. I could feel it"

"And how are you gonna explain it to asa?"

"Well it's not my problem"

"What?"

Then she feel unconscious the scars from her face disappeared and asa woke up looked at the weapon in her hand and then at you

"I'm so sorry asa I swear I can explain"

Fami

She was just coming back to your table with your fast food orders (she got way too much food for herself). When she saw you talking to a girl, she didn't recognize

She didn't think much about it maybe you were just talking to a friend. So she ignored the kinda weird feeling in her chest by doing her favorite thing (tied with spending time with you) eating.

The girl, meanwhile, was very freaked out that a random girl was staring at her with a cold glare and ringed eyes so she left allowing you to go back to your girlfriend.

"Hey fami, sorry if It took me long"

"It's fine, who was that girl you were with?

"I don't know she just came up to me and started flirting"

"I see"

"Why? Are you jealous"

"No I am not"

"Alright whatever you say, you did eat faster than usual though and that's saying something"

"*sighs* Humans are truly weird creatures"

#chainsaw man x reader #chainsaw man #x reader #chainsaw man 2 #chainsaw man 2 x reader #makima x reader #power x reader #himeno x reader #kobeni x reader #asa mitaka x reader #yoru x reader #fami x reader #makima #power #himeno chainsaw man #kobeni #asa mitaka #yoru csm #yoru chainsawman #himeno csm #fami chainsaw man #fami csm #gn reader

[theamberfist]

Like Father, Like Child | Alastor + Exorcist! Reader

Familial! Alastor + Exorcist! Adopted Child! Reader

Description: You always had murderous urges, just like your adoptive dad. Of course, you didn't know he had them too; not until the day he died, when you swore to never act on them and end up like him. Now, you're one of Adam's exorcists, about to fight in the battle between heaven and the Hazbin Hotel.

(Notes: CW Alastor, mentions of murder) (gender neutral reader) (reader is Alastor's adopted child from when they were alive) (Part 1 of 4)

Words: 3,317

You awoke to the sound of banging at your door and groaned, knowing it was way too early in the morning to be up. You'd been having a particularly pleasant dream, too, though you couldn't remember what it had been about now. 

Turning over in your bed, you attempted to ignore whoever was out there. Maybe, if you didn't acknowledge them, they would go away and leave you alone?

You were wrong. A few seconds later, the banging continued, making you shove your face deeper into your pillow. "Are you up?" A familiar voice called from the other side of the door but you remained silent. You could hear them huff in exasperation at that. "Come on, don't you know what day it is? Being late would be a really bad idea!"

You rolled your eyes. What could possibly be so important that you had to be up this early for it? This was heaven, after all, so it wasn't like most people didn't respect the fact that you needed your rest. Even if you were late to attend some pressing event, you were sure whoever was running it would be understanding. Everyone here was, except maybe one or two angels you could think of that would probably stab your eye out-

Suddenly, you remembered why today was so important and shot up with wide eyes. Why hadn't your alarm gone off already?

Scrambling across your bed to the little table at its side, you grabbed your phone and opened it to see that you had, in fact, set an alarm. Only, it was for the evening; not the morning. Some help that had been.

"Shit!" You whisper-yelled to yourself as you practically fell out of bed and raced over to your closet to get ready. Luckily, it seemed like the you that had gotten everything ready last night had foreseen this, because your uniform was laid out and ready to go, saving you the time it would have taken to search your closet for it. 

"Oh good, now you're up!" The voice outside called as you hurriedly got dressed and then flew over to your tiny bathroom to finish preparing for the day. You were already running ten minutes late, but maybe if you hurried enough, you could make it just in time. 

As soon as you'd finished getting ready, you raced over to the door with your mask in hand and threw it open, startling the pink and white spider demon girl on the other side. 

"There you are!" She exclaimed with a smile, "I thought I'd never be able to get you out of bed!" You couldn't stay long enough to hear much more of what she had to say though; taking off into flight as you headed down the hall. 

"Can't talk now, sorry Moll's!" You told the winner, feeling a little bad for ditching her like that when she'd been kind enough to ensure you made it to work in time. She seemed to understand though because she nodded, waving goodbye to you as you flew off. You resolved to take her out for ice cream when you finally did get back later in order to make up for this. After all, she seemed to have your back no matter how much you'd always tried to push her away. 

"Good luck, Jez! Tell me all about it when you get back!" You resisted the urge to cringe at her use of that name, though it wasn't her fault that it made you uncomfortable. Even if it was what everyone in heaven had called you for almost as long as you could remember, it had never been yours.

There was no time to think about that, though; you had to make it to work before your boss noticed your tardiness or he would surely take out your eye.

You waved to the people you knew out and about in heaven's streets as you went; of which, there were few since it was so early in the morning. You knew the way to the heaven's gates by heart, so it didn't take long before you saw them in the distance. Panting from flying so fast, you made your way down to where a huge crowd of other angels had gathered in preparation for what was to come today. 

The sight of them was enough to make you nervous but you quickly shook the feeling away, not wanting it to interfere with your job. If you messed up today, you might not be allowed down there again for a while and you weren't sure if your sanity could handle parading around in heaven for that much longer. 

Finally, you landed near the back of the crowd, hoping no one other than the few angels lingering there had seen you arrive. You put on your mask now so you would look more put together and then looked around to see if your boss had shown up yet. Hopefully he hadn't; then he definitely wouldn't have seen you arrive late. 

"Jez, nice of you to finally show the fuck up!" A familiar voice shouted behind you and you instantly deflated. Of course it would have been too much to hope he wasn't here yet. Still, you turned around, glad for the mask covering your face since it meant you didn't have to fake a smile out of politeness. 

"Oh, hi Adam!" You exclaimed and then noticed the other angel standing beside him, "...And Lute."

"You're late." The angel in question said, crossing her arms in disdain. 

"Yeah, so sorry about that!" You exclaimed awkwardly, "I, uh, accidentally slept in this morning! Luckily, Emily came and got me so now I'm here! I promise it won't happen again." You were over apologizing, but knowing these two, it was probably the only thing that would keep you from being too harshly punished for your tardiness. 

"If you weren't such a great asset, Jez, I'd have kicked you out years ago." Adam told you in a very matter-of-fact tone.

"Years." Lute added with a nod as she crossed her arms. 

"You're lucky you hunt down demons like they're fuckin' livestock." Adam continued, "Now, out of my way! I've got some bitches to hype up!" And with that, he pushed past you and through the other angels to get through to the front. 

"You'd better prove your worth today," Lute snarled at you as she followed after him, "This is hardly your first slip-up, and even our patience has its limits." You nodded quickly to get her off your back, but in reality, you were glaring through the mask. 

She headed up to the front and you let yourself melt back into the crowd now, wishing you could punch that smug expression right off her face. At the front, Adam now began his customary hype-speech you'd grown used to hearing before exterminations. 

"Extermination day is here, bitches!" He called, "We're gonna go down and exterminate demon ass!"

"Destroy that ass!" Lute added in agreement. You almost would have wanted to laugh, if you didn't hate those two so much.

"Prepare to slaughter every sinner in that shit hotel!" Adam continued. Now, after having heard what went down in angelic court a while back, you knew where this was going. "And you all remember Vaggie!" 

There it was. You winced at the mention of your old friend, whom you'd assumed had run away back when she disappeared on an extermination day years ago. As it turned out, she'd fallen from heaven and was now dating the daughter of Lucifer herself. You weren't sure how to feel about that news, but you didn't think you could get yourself to hate her for it, either.

Of course, it seemed the rest of the exorcists clearly could, because they all let out loud boo's at the mere mention of her name. 

Lute must have made a particularly unhinged comment about Vaggie because even Adam seemed taken aback now. "Anyway," Adam went on, "Whoever brings me Vaggie's head gets...I don't know, a million heaven bucks! How about that, huh?" The rest of the angels shouted in joy while you contemplated whether or not 'heaven bucks' were a real thing. You didn't think you'd heard of them before...

"Ladies!" Adam said now, gaining your attention once more, "Let's fuck shit up! ATTACK!" And with that, everyone took off flying down towards hell. Despite the fact that you'd done this plenty of times before in the last seven years since you'd become an exorcist, you still felt that familiar nervousness at the idea of going down there.

What if you saw someone you knew from back when you were alive? There were plenty of people you could think of that had likely ended up in hell, and seeing them wouldn't be particularly pleasant. 

 But who were you kidding? There was only one sinner you were truly worried about running into down there. It had never happened in the seven years you'd been killing demons for Adam, but that didn't mean it never would. 

What would you do if you saw him? You couldn't be sure. After everything that had come out about him after his death, you weren't even sure you considered the man a father anymore. But at the same time, did you have the right to shun him when deep down, you were the same way? It felt hypocritical but the betrayal of what he'd once done still clouded your judgement. 

You flew after everyone else now, taking a deep breath as you entered the portal through to hell. You'd done this before, so there was nothing to worry about, you told yourself. Still, there was one fear you couldn't get out of your mind as you flew towards the hotel.

What if you did see your dad, and you weren't strong enough to kill him?

..........

You had always been an...Abnormal child. But then again, what kid wasn't from time to time? You, however, had grown up with urges most people never experienced. They were occasional and you always pushed them out of your mind as soon as they entered, but that didn't mean they weren't there.  

You'd thought you were the odd one out for it; that no one around you ever felt the same way. For the longest time, you'd shunned yourself for it, only to later discover that in your case, it simply meant the apple hadn't fallen far from the tree.

The day you found out your dad was dead had been a shock. The man who had been ever-present in your life since the day he'd adopted you was now gone. But more than that, you'd been appalled to discover the kind of secrets he hid behind closed doors; ones he kept even from you. 

He was a murderer, they'd said. He'd killed and eaten the people that were thought to be missing from your area for years. That psycho killer he'd always used to warn you against staying out late at night? That mysterious figure that was always in the back of people's minds as they went about their lives? That monster who had been the talk of every newspaper in New Orleans for months?

He was your own adoptive father. 

After the shock came the feeling of betrayal. How could he do this? How could the man that had raised you into the person you were today have been such a lie? You'd always looked up to him; always tried to be like him in one way or another to make him proud. 

Why couldn't he have taken a page out of your book for once? It wasn't like you'd never thought of doing those things; like you'd never had the urge to kill too. But unlike your father, apparently, you'd had enough self control to never act on those urges. You'd thought he would consider it wrong; improper, even, if you did, but it seemed now that he never would have minded.

In fact, you might have gained even more of his pride if you'd just given in to your own tendencies. How ironic. 

Even knowing this, though, you never bloodied your hands when you were alive. If you had, it would have felt like you'd given up; like you'd let your dad win. You needed to prove to him, to everyone, that that was not the case. You wouldn't kill, no matter how much you felt that unsatiable itch in the back of your brain. You would prove to him that things didn't have to end up the way they did; that he could have chosen not to act on his wants like you'd been doing this whole time.  

You'd been a teenager at the time of Alastor's death; left alone in the world to fend for yourself as the child of a now-known killer. It had been an immensely lonely existence, which was why you were glad when just a few years into your adulthood, someone finally ended your misery by killing you off themselves in a way that blatantly echoed your father's previous murders. 

You'd expected it, and in the end, you'd been happy to say that you'd succeeded in never acting on your homicidal urges. You'd won in that regard.

Which, you supposed, had been enough to get you into heaven, because the next thing you knew, you were standing in front of the pearly gates being greeted by a peculiar looking man with wings and a halo. Not to mention the fact that you bore those things as well. 

After that, the rest was history. You knew Alastor hadn't ended up in heaven so there was no chance of running into him there. You had no one else that cared for you either in life or death, so you stuck to your own for the most part.

That, and the fact that your urges still hadn't dissipated. Every day, you held back from running all that you'd built here in heaven; stopped yourself from making the unfortunate mistake of killing another angel. You were still proving this point to your dad, you supposed, even after death. 

Even if he never knew about it. 

It took a few years for Adam to catch wind of you due to your reclusiveness, but once he did, he immediately saw the potential in you. 

The adopted child of a famous serial killer, whom had still somehow managed to stay clean enough to end up in heaven after it all? And, on top of that, you had no ties to anyone else in heaven that might hold you back or make you weak. Molly was the only other angel you really got along with, but even then, you'd always held her at arms length, just in case.

It was a backstory fitting of an exorcist, and Adam must have seen that for himself, because he immediately got to work recruiting you for his cause. It had taken a long time, thanks to the promise you'd made to yourself that you still kept up in death about not killing anyone. However, he knew how to appeal to your murderous nature, and eventually, he managed to convince you that killing sinners wouldn't be a breach of that promise; but a necessary way to protect the rest of heaven.

Or at least, that was what you'd told yourself. 

In a way, you knew you'd never believed it. Your dad was down there in hell; you knew he was. Despite everything, you couldn't say killing him wouldn't count as breaking your promise. 

Nonetheless, you trained to become an exorcist. The process was long and grueling, extending over many years. It tested you more than any other experience in your life or afterlife had; stripping away parts of your identity in order to provide you with new ones. Taking away some of that softness; that joy, to bring out your cold-hearted nature more instead. You didn't lose everything in that training, but it was certainly enough to make you harder to recognize by the end.

That was also how you'd gotten the name people now called you by. 

"If they're gonna be one of ours, they need a killer name!" Adam had exclaimed to Lute, who nodded in agreement.

"Right you are, sir." It was customary for him to name all the new exorcists as they began their training; whether they wanted him to or not. 

"Since you're a murderer's kid, ya need a name that sounds wicked as hell," Adam told you with a thoughtful look on his face. You just waited for him to make a decision already; knowing you were going to hate whatever he picked. Your dad had already given you a name you loved as it was; your name. Nothing else could compare to that, even after all that he'd done. "How 'bout Jez?" Adam finally decided, "That sounds pretty rad, and it reminds me of this one hot bitch I used to know. What was her name? Jezebel, or something?" Lute barked a verbal confirmation. 

You cringed at the choice but shrugged anyway. Adam seemed content with that because he took a step closer and slapped you on the back. "Alright, Jez it is. Welcome to the exorcists, bitch!" And with that, he and Lute had flown off, leaving you to come to terms with your new identity. 

..........

You flew towards the hotel with the rest of the angels now; feeling your nerves bubble up in your stomach at the sight of the huge black forcefield encasing it. There were tentacles coming out of the forcefield too that held angelic weapons, and it now dawned on you that that was probably how these sinners had found a way to harm your kind. 

Something about the forcefield felt familiar to you but you pushed the thought away. You didn't have time to worry about it; not when there were demons to take care of. So, when Adam brought the shield down using his own weapon, you flew in and readied your spear just as you had done many times before. 

There were a lot more sinners fighting back than you'd initially expected. Adam had made it seem like the only real threat would be the hotel owned by Lucifer's daughter, but given the huge army outside, that clearly wasn't the case. Where had they gotten so much manpower?

You fought most of them off with ease, noticing how they almost seemed to be...drooling? At the sight of you. It was like they wanted to bite a chunk out of you, and you weren't about to let that happen. 

You flew to higher ground now, breathing heavily from taking out so many of the odd little sinners. There was a distinct feeling of accomplishment somewhere within you but you ignored it; reminding yourself that you were only killing right now in order to protect heaven, not because you enjoyed it.

...Even though you did enjoy it. 

Now that you were higher up, though, you found yourself closer to some of the black tentacles you'd seen before, which extended off a nearby roof and now seemed to be coming your way. 

Gasping in surprise, you brought out your angelic spear to try and defend yourself, only for the tentacles to suddenly stop in front of you, as if their wielder had just realized something. Panting, you glanced to the roof, where a deer-like demon dressed all in red with a few black accents was standing tall. His eyes were fixed on you but they weren't what caught your attention immediately.

He wore a big, yellow smile across his face that you would have recognized anywhere. It sent a chill down your spine as the realization that the exact event you'd always feared was currently coming to pass dawned on you. 

Here you were, levitating above a huge battle between heaven and hell. Here you were, performing your eighth extermination.

And here you were, staring into the eyes of your father, whom you hadn't seen since the day he died. 

#hazbin hotel #hazbin alastor #hazbinhotel #hazbin x reader #hazbin hotel x reader #platonic hazbin hotel #platonic hazbin hotel x reader #alastor x child readeer #alastor x daughter reader #alastor x son reader #alastor x adopted reader #platonic alastor x reader #adopted reader #family comfort #fanfic #dadastor #alastor x child reader

[antiyourwokehomophobia2]

WHAT THE HELL WHY IS SNAPE SO MUCH MORE CRUEL IN THE BOOKS? 💀 Thank you so much for telling me all that btw, I think I understand why so many hate him now, since I've only seen the movies I was always flabbergasted when people said that they hate Snape but bro is a literal creep. Taking Lily's photo is sooo weird wtf 😭 Also why is he tormenting a literal 11 year old boyy. Damn. And poor Hermione :')

Thank you for your time btw! ^^

Also, are there any honorary mentions in the books? Not necessarily about Snape too perhaps but maybe anyone or anything else? Like, are the books that different from the movies? Low-key makes me wanna read them but I don't feel like buying the books 💔 (':

You don't need to buy anything! It's free if you search online. I haven't bought a single book but I've read the whole series online and even found the audiobooks free online lmao.

Honorary mentions?

Tbh, when Harry visits his parents graves in deathly hallows, I was always moved by the line 'he wished he was sleeping under the snow with them'

And I think all the chapters in Half blood prince that focus on Voldemort's memories from when he was a young man are super engaging. Everything about his family is interesting, imo.

I liked how, when Hermione asks Ron to be her date to Slughorns party, Harry gets all flustered and says he 'knew something like this would happen'

I like how, when Harry uses the resurrection stone in the last book, he and his mother are so enthused to be able to look at each other that they just gaze at each other for a bit.

I LOVE the scene with Madame Maxine and Hagrid when we find out Hagrid is a half giant. I'm a sucker for characters telling people they like "don't go". And I love how Harry is all like "oh damn. I should NOT be hearing this conversation"

There's a moment where Harry tells the dursley's that Voldemort has come back, and aunt petunia expresses fear. Harry says it's the first time he appreciates that petunia is his mother's sister. I think it's so cool that petunia, someone who does her best to live a smuggle life, is still very aware of the kind of threat that Voldemort is. I feel like that's a detail a lot of people look over. To me, that scene adds a whole new layer to how terrifying Voldemort is.

I like how Neville gets given a candy wrapper by his mom (she was tortured to insanity and has been permanently hospitalized. Neville was raised by his gran as a result) and his gran tells him to throw it away, but when he thinks no one is looking, he stuffs it into his pocket instead. Like. God. I just love that scene. Neville's mom doesn't know who he is. To me, I read that scene and can't help but think "Neville has never received a gift from his parents. He keeps that wrapper because it's the only thing his mom has ever given him. It is the only type of 'gift' that he will ever receive from his mom" It drives me insane.

Oh and oh my GOD. I love how Hagrid is all like "Harry, I'd love you to win the tournament. It'd show everyone that you don't need to be pure blood to be worth something" and this moves Harry so much that he gets to work on solving the egg clue. Literally NOTHING anybody else has said to him has made him take action, but Hagrid's faith in him is what did the trick. And I love the line "there was something about lying to Hagrid that wasn't quite like lying to anyone else." Their relationship is honestly so pure. I love that Hagrid was Harry's introduction to the Wizarding world. He literally brings Harry to us, the reader (or watcher if we're talking the movies). Harry comes to us on Hagrid's motor bike. From the very beginning, Hagrid carries out Harry's introduction.

I love EVERYTHING about the way dobby adores Harry. You don't get much a sense of it in the movies, but their relationship is super wholesome. Dobby may have been a free elf, but he followed Harry's every command because he loved him so much. He straight up fought another elf for insulting Harry. He deserved better than what the movies did with him.

I will say, the one thing from the movies I like better is that I love the scene with Hermione and Hagrid right after Draco calls her a mudblood. I love how he holds her hand and says "don't you think on it" and Hermione's eyes are filled with tears but she smiles at him anyway. That was incredibly cute. Although, in the books, Hermione does not know what a mud blood is, and I think there is merit in having Ron--the only pureblood wizard--know what it is while Harry and Hermione do not. There's something so pure about Ron attacking Draco even though hermione doesn't know what a mudblood is. It's like "I don't care if you didn't hurt her feelings! I don't care if she doesn't know what that word means. I know what that word means and you're not going to talk to her that way."

Oh, and I like the part where Percy sends a letter to Ron telling him not to talk to Harry anymore. Harry being all like "I've know percy for 4 years. I've spent summers with him. He gave me top marks during the tournament. I shared a tent with him." is really effective and you can feel his hurt so well.

This post is so long lmao. I've left out so many good moments. My point is: read the books! You'll love them.

[schumiatspa]

Rafa and Carlitos are gonna play doubles at the Laver Cup and Rogelio is gonna coach them and be their head cheerleader like the good husband and father he is

In this essay I will-

#you don't even understand how much i'd need that #it would cure me #carlos alcaraz #rafa nadal #roger federer #laver cup 2024

[stop-breaking-my-heart-dragonage]

Me, when Sebastian joins my party for the first time: Okay, this time I'm not going to forget about you, Sebastian. I'm going to make an effort to use you a lot this playthrough so I can better understand you.

Also me, immediately forgetting about Sebastian while finishing Act 2 and making it halfway through Act 3 before I finally notice his Faith quest: ......................Oh. Right. My bad.

#da2 #dragon age 2 #sebastian vael #listen in my defense..........i don't like bringing sebastian anywhere sksksks #okay look i seriously tried but every time i bring him somewhere i always think man i wish i had brought someone else #and also i do just forget about him! i finally added him to my party at one point and he had 24 points to spend... #that's how long i neglected him after i promised myself i was gonna use him more and then i didn't #it's not that i don't like sebastian as a character though i do tend to side eye him A LOT... it's just that i like everyone else more #even aveline like i'd take aveline over sebastian any day and that's saying something... or is it? i have a lot of feelings about aveline #whereas my feelings about sebastian could maybe fill a thimble...it doesn't help that in my canon run as a mage hawke #i romance anders and well... sebastian wants me to kill anders and my hawke is like 'do i approve of blowing up the chantry? complicated.' #'am i breaking up with anders for this? absolutely. do i still love him? mmhmmm. am i going to kill him sebby? i'd sooner set varric aflame #then sebastian threatens to bring an army to kirkwall and leaves so i can't say i have the greatest opinion on him #even the time where i did kill anders and he stayed in my party he was just... there #and then he glitched out and started t posing while asking if ed ever found out what anders wanted to do in the chantry so..... yeah #but even this playthrough where i'm playing as a lady warrior with a different personality and everything... i'd just rather use anyone els #also keep him away from bethany i do not approve sksksks she's too good for him #i want to understand and see the different angles of him like with the other companions but i've yet to convince myself to do it #also sebastian romancers out there can you like... explain? genuinely can you explain the appeal? i'm curious #because of all the love interests in da2 i look at sebastian and you'd think i'd maybe be more interested? but it's like... #i know about the chaste marriage and everything like that's fine i don't need sex to be a thing in the relationship but it feels less like #an asexual romance and more like... y'know... being with a priest and i guess that's just not one of my kinks? sksksks #i guess there's also the prince angle but i romanced alistair in dao and kept him a grey warden i don't really care about royalty power #and i don't have issues with him being a part of the chantry [well i do but yknow what i mean] since i romanced cullen in dai #and his whole deal with the chantry and magic and shit makes his romance interesting to me but sebastian is just.... a bit too much i think #i don't know i'd like to understand because i really don't but i also keep forgetting about him

[avatarofwar]

i saw you talk about wolf a few times from sekiro and was wondering if you'd want to share more of your thoughts on him or sekiro as a whole, the game really interests me compared to other dark souls games so i wanted to ask

sorry for the late reply but oh boy do I have thoughts abt wolf. trying not to spoil the game, so I'm gonna refrain from talking about the story. might go into just restating known things about the game, but I'd much rather play it safe and not spoil the story

before going to that. the game is very much different from dark souls (setting wise, while taking place in a fictional country it is in a historical setting. I cannot comment on the setting properly bc I don't know much about the time period, however), most notably in the combat (primarily shifting from a dodge-centric playstyle to a parry-centric playstyle (significantly easier than dark souls/elden ring parrying, however), with dodges having significantly shorter i-frames and being very unreliable for dodging attacks). it's very different but something I really enjoy, even if I'm not as good as I am at typical soulsborne combat. it's really fun when you get the hang of it, and while I might not be The Best at it (which is mostly bc of how different it is from soulsborne games, so ofc I'm not as good at is as I am at the other fromsoft games I've played), it's something I can still enjoy

a huge thing about sekiro is the difference in how the story is told. in soulsborne games the story is something you have to figure out; progressing through the main path doesn't give you enough to piece everything together if you don't read any lore. with sekiro, however, the story is significantly more obvious, on account of the playable character having unique ties to the world and its characters, rather than going the soulsborne route of being one of many people (wording hard, but the chosen undead for example is no one special, just one of many undead trying to link the flame). it's a very different method of storytelling, but is still something really good. for as much as I adore having to actively hunt down lore and story in soulsborne games, it's also great experiencing story through natural game progression

wolf is also canonically disabled (loses his left arm at the start of the game) and has a really fucking cool prosthetic that is a whole part of the combat system (even though I personally keep forgetting to use it). so good for him. he deserves a prosthetic that can have deadly weaponry attached to it. like a mini-flamethrower. he deserves a mini-flamethrower, as a treat.

putting the wolf thoughts beneath a read more because this is getting long and I might spoil some stuff (mostly relationship with another character, I'll try to refrain from story spoilers. also spoilers in general, but there might be some), and he has definitely become a blorbo (additionally, content warning for abuse)

first of all. wolf makes me want to throw myself off a cliff and I mean this in the most positive way ever. he is great and I love him but man he needs so much fucking therapy and he doesn't even realise it (therapy probably doesn't exist in that time period, but besides the point). he is very much traumatised and has been heavily shaped by it and doesn't even know it.

prior to the events of the game (I forgot how long ago it was) he was orphaned by war and got taken in by owl, a shinobi and also a piece of fucking garbage. owl raises wolf to be a shinobi under the iron code, with the number one rule being loyalty to his father (owl), with his master (kuro, the divine heir) a close second (and also to give his life for his master if necessary. which is also a whole other thing to get into).

owl is very explicitly abusive. he raises wolf as a tool rather than a person, and that upbringing severely affects wolf as a character - he is an incredibly capable shinobi, but lacks any skills other than that; he does not know how to be a proper person, he is a loyal wolf, but he does not know how to be anything other than that. hell, without spoiling too much about the context, there is a cutscene in which owl actively attempts to guilt trip wolf, going as far as using fake tears (saying anything specific is very spoilery. this isn't even the only horrid thing he's done, but I'm trying to refrain from too many spoilers).

wolf canonically does not value himself without anyone to serve (we see this at the beginning of the game, as events prior to the start of the game not yet known about leads him to believe he has no one to serve, and thus no purpose, so he isolates himself from the world in a well for 3 years). while he does have compassion for others (most notable example being concern over victims of dragonrot), he starts off the game driven primarily by duty. he is loyal to a fault, willing to do anything for kuro, but also valuing his service to kuro more than himself (cannot remember the exact wording, but when kuro expresses concern for how many times wolf has died for him, wolf states that it does not matter as it was in service to him).

there's also the fact that wolf canonically eats uncooked rice and genuinely doesn't know - as a fully grown adult - you are supposed to cook it, which is... genuinely something awful if you truly think about it and what more it implies about his upbringing especially considering it's one of the most basic things you could learn how to make (just... says a lot about owl if you seriously think about it).

he is a loyal wolf, but he doesn't know how to be more than that. he doesn't know how to just... exist for himself, to be his own person separate of his duty and he doesn't even recognise just how fucked up it is, because how could he, when he was shaped into this as a child, when his own father wanted him to be nothing more than a tool to use.

I could say a lot more about his relationships with other characters (that are actually good people) and how it just. makes me lose my mind, but this post is almost 1k words. so, simply put, kuro genuinely caring about him makes me so fucking emotional, especially bc of owl; his father might be horrible and an abuser, he might not know how to be more than he was raised, but at the very least he can serve someone who actively cares about him and his wellbeing.

#THERE IS SO MUCH TO DISSECT ABT HIS CHARACTER AND HOW HEAVILY IT WAS AFFECTED BY HIS UPBRINGING #I've seen a handful of people call him boring bc he doesn't say much and isn't that expressive emotionally and none of them are valid #I'm gonna explode those people with my mind powers. he isn't boring you just don't understand how to analyse characters #I need need need to get this man to some fucking therapy he so desperately needs it and doesn't even know it #if there ever was a fromsoft character most in need of therapy poll he would sweep and if he didn't I'd explode people with my mind powers #also I realise now a lot of my thoughts abt the game are just. restating known parts abt the game. I apologise for not being more specific #if you wanted to know my thoughts abt the story specifically. oops. I AM sorry but I do want to play it safe #I also do really appreciate how it was like. the (or at least one of?) first game in this time period made by a japanese company #which is part of why there are some things I do not know how to comment on bc I am very much a white canadian #also has a small poison swamp location. might be a plus for some people. I personally don't mind most poison swamps too much though #and ngl I kinda miss the iconic large poison swamp you have to traverse. it could be really fun being able to grapple #did I mention his prosthetic has a fucking grapple built in? well it does and it's really fun for movement.

[magentagalaxies]

having a moment about my gender rn and i'm just like ugggggh @ my brain do we have to. like can we just not

#i need to go to bed soon bc i have a 10am class tomorrow but shoutout to the identity crisis i've been having since at least feb 6th #idk if identity crisis is even the right word. bc like one thing about me is that i have a very solid sense of self #like i know who i am and what i want and how i move through the world and what it feels like to be me #but in terms of how i label and explain that to others? that's where the identity crisis comes in #but no one else gets to experience me in first person POV so the descriptors i use and they ways i present myself are reality to them #and tbh? as i think about how some of the descriptors i use for myself don't accurately describe me some people are getting mad??? #which is so fucking bizarre bc like. what the fuck it's my gender why are YOU being offended??? #but it's also making me low key be like ''wait am i a bad person now????'' #even tho i don't believe morality works like that. idk it's just been an exhausting month and a half #if anyone wants to hear more in depth thoughts on all this i would love to vent about it #(but not rn bc i will be going to bed as soon as i get this all out) #but like what i will say now is even tho this past month and a half has been ROUGH (for several reasons especially gender) #and people might expect that me spending so much time with scott in february made it more exhausting #which is understandable we love scott but touring in general is tiring and also i am the most opinionated person i've ever met but so is he #and also like. if you've heard scott talk about gender it's very obvious we disagree on a lot of things and he doesn't shy away from that #but the thing is. i'd actually say spending so much time with scott (even when we talk about gender. even when we *argue* about gender) #was actually such a good thing for me throughout all of this bc even when we disagree on semantics of labels #scott actually sees me beyond that rather than reducing my identity to what i call myself #which is how a lot of well-meaning allys tend to treat me. like i'm just one thing. #so when i'm with scott i never really have to think about my gender #bc he doesn't treat me like i'm (insert whatever gender people treat me like). he just treats me like i'm jessamine #and i'm tired of having to explain myself into smaller pieces so people can pretend to get it #but i feel like there's no way not to do that in our society rn especially at my ''progressive'' liberal arts college

[caffeinatedopossum]

It's kind of jarring to be reminded that everyone around me has always had more than me (aside from a select few). Like I just forget until it comes down to something mundane like buying shoes and I don't know my shoe size because for most of my life I've had one pair of shoes that I wear until they break. And it was usually something someone either got me as a gift (horrified that my shoes were wearing out. As if thats not what shoes do when you wear them) or they were passed down and I grew into them.

Like that's just normal for me. It doesn't bother me either, this isn't a pity party. It's just surreal that it bothers other people sometimes

#i don't really feel like ive been that poor either #most of the things i needed and didnt get were things me/my family could have afforded but refused to #i figured 'if I'd rather save up my money to get some new coloring books than to buy some new shoes i probably dont need them that bad' #maybe those are decisions they havent had to make #i cant be jealous because i cant imagine what thats like #i simply cant imagine it #oof now im remembering the only time i actually had to ask for new shoes and i didnt #i was growing out of my shoes and getting blisters from it but i kept putting off getting new shoes #because idk i guess it just didnt bother me that much until it started to hurt really bad #and i didnt want to ask my mom for anything either because yeah #she was the type of parent you dont ask for things from #eventually someone else noticed and said something along the lines of 'if you dont get him new shoes then i will' to my mom #and then she got mad that i didnt tell her? #it was all so confusing to me then but i understand why now. she just wanted to hide the neglect. she didnt really care about anything else #its why everything was fine and she never thought i needed anything until someone else said something about it #even with my eating disorder... she knew what i was doing but she didnt interfere until someone else told her i looked sick #but that wasnt until years after the problem started. funny how that works isnt it

[holytrickster]

idk i think it's so funny I went down a survival horror game rabbit hole when a) I'm too freaking anxious for horror games I will make myself cry, b) it was all PS2 stuff which is extra funny bc I've never even played on someone else's playstation let alone had one, i was always a wii kid lol. but now my brain is like ah yes. time to consume everything I can about games I can't even play and that are stupid expensive/hard to get now

#also i love that people draw jennifer from rule of rose and fiona from haunting ground together #they're just two girls with their dogs and in horrible situations and you know im glad they get to have dogs #any game where i get to have a pet is alright by me even if shit is otherwise majorly fucked #anyway. i do need to play pathologic. it's funny bc in theory it is really the kind of thing I'd like bc there's so much stuff to uncover #plus i think classic HD (which is the version i have) fixes the bad translation so it's not even like it's too hard to understand #at least only hard to understand in the intended pathologic-y way anyway #and i really really like the soundtrack #and everything I've watched and read about it is sick as hell (no pun intended) so i think the thing making me unable to get into it is the #actual experience of playing it. like it's funny how much of an asshole dankovsky is but that doesn't mean I *want* to play as an asshole #its funny the only time i really like playing that way is in skyrim bc im just. greenish elf that picks everyone's locks bc it was the first #thing i figured out and characters will just ???? let me fucking do it??? (i say having gotten arrested in whiterun like immediately) #i guess because I'm not invested in any of the characters yet because i havent had time to sit down and really play it #i guess that'd kind of be the way i play in lotro but that's more just me not interacting with other players #fun fact i think i still have one of the earliest fellowship quests sitting unfinished bc i can never form groups to finish them #i don't think I'll even ever get good at lotro though honestly #more just knowing what buttons to spam #idk i played hunter FOREVER but minstrel is really really growing on me #even though some of the skills are kinda wasted since i only ever play alone #anyway what was i talking about

[avvocarlo]

I am quite concerned about how expensive everything is getting 🤪

#and on a global scale too #you don't need an economics degree to understand how much the global economic market is dictated by the auto and oil industry #the price of petrol in Australia atm is absolutely insane #and you kinda need a car to get around here #public transport here is unreliable and some of the most expensive in the world #even if you're lucky enough to live near the cbd of some of the major cities here that doesn't mean you'll have work there #ideally I'd like to work in the city and bus/train most days #my new job is thankfully a lot closer to home and it's with clients in the area #haven't started quite yet tho

[hua-fei-hua]

i understand why the characters in yu-gi-oh monologue abt what their cards do and shit now

#for various equally silly reasons i'm reading abt how to build a pokemon card deck for competitive play #and like. i fucking understand how these things work now. it's crazy. i'm not entirely sure how a game would flow #but i'm understanding the mechanics of how these things work now #and i'm imagining watching a pokemon card game tournament and i'm like 'hmm yeah i do imagine i'd need someone to narrate #what each of these cards lets me do when they're played assuming i'm not married to the game meta' #although i also kind of imagine that the sort of people who'd watch this stuff would know enough to not need it narrated #kind of like how i understand how the kits of most gnshn characters work on a basic level n i'm familiar enough w/the game n its meta #to be able to understand most kits just from reading abt them although ofc it's hard to know anything for certain #w/o playing for yourself to get a Feel for it since there can be fiddly nonsense not mentioned in print lol #but i know enough abt how the game works on a more basic/fundamental level that i can follow/recognize core strategies at a glance #the sort of fundamentals players draw upon to execute their plays n stuff. i imagine someone good enough at pokemon cards #would be familiar with these sorts of things to not need every word of every card narrated to them to know what's up #even if they don't have the text of each one memorized; it would be a simple elaboration from there anyway i imagine #it's kind of fun to see the same kind of advice repeated in this site on pkmn deck-building that friends and randos i let into my world #taught me when i was learning the basics of gnshn team building n investment priorities and whatnot #like 'build your deck around your main attacker; everything should synergize w/Them' #'oh so like picking a build/playstyle for your main dps and then building your supports to maximize the buffs on that' #'make sure you have enough energy cards in your deck but make sure to pay attn if they're too much or too little for your strategy' #'oh so like managing er requirements' and so on and so forth #tbh i just think it's neat how there seems to be universally applicable advice going in to teaching people strategy n stuff #i can totally understand why my high school physics teacher (the one who is now a verified twitch streamer) is so into gaming meta #limitations force compromises and since different people will decide how to compromise differently it breeds creative strategy #花話