#yet i cannot handle it at all

[clamorybus]

as much as i know it's useless and tbh really u necessary to strive for unattainable beauty standards, im constantly stuck in in an endless cycle of trying

#literally im spiralling rn bscause i scrolled past an old photo on my dash #and was immediately hit with a wave of 'youll never be thin youll never have decent skin you'll never be happy like Them' #just out of nowhere #and im trying t #not to breakdown over it esp because it was so stupid #like yeah im not gonna like like a teenger at prom everyday of my life im 24 bodies change and shit #even though i don't give a seco d thought to how other people age and change and grow #im sittiing the corner shaking and crying (metaphorically) about having gained 100 lbs and having acne scars #ie things that literally don't matter #yet i cannot handle it at all #mickey.txt #self hate cw #body image cw

[woe-is-tuli]

Coachella 2024 - Ateez: Seonghwa

#ateez #coachella #seonghwa #no because why was he lookin like that for for what reason. already my dang bias what more do you want huhh?? #for the love of god will someone put this man on a dang runway #i love when they just go all in on stage changing choreography and everything i love it and yet i cannot handle it #park seonghwa #kpop #에이티즈 #atiny #ateez gifs #kq entertainment #에이티니 #8 makes 1 team #성화 #seonghwa gifs #coachella ateez #chellateez

[notbecauseofvictories]

I think a lot these days about how much bigger the U.S. is than Europe. I mean, part of this is just working for a European company---I talk to our legal counsel based in Paris, and they forget that California (about 75% the size of all of France) has a new law we have to care about, because---well, that's just a state! who cares about a state! My colleagues regularly refuse to travel to a country that's essentially 3 hours of train travel away, because that's so far! ignoring the fact that I have traveled 4 hours to our sister company within the U.S. and regularly drive 1+ hours to the office. (While that's annoying and I don't advocate for it, it's not necessarily unthinkable, that's my point.)

On my way home, I was listening to an NPR story about the Portugal model of drug diversion. It was a great story, thoughtfully reported and contextualized in the recent backlash against decriminalization in the U.S.---but their point of comparison with Portugal was New Jersey. Because they're about the same size, the Republic of Portugal and one of the smallest states in my nation. I just think that when we ask ourselves why things work differently in different countries, "literally, physically different" should occasionally feature in the conversation.

#we are interviewing for yet another european team member and it makes me want to scream #I cannot do all the things I need to do for the US because you're so busy finding people to handle the EU!! #you ALREADY have people plus external counsel for europe! I NEED HELP. #ugh. ugh ugh ugh. #the only benefit is that we have the most relaxed wfh attitude in the entire world #technically I need to be in the office twice a week; in reality my boss is halfway around the world and doesn't care #still. would drive 2 hrs twice a week if I could get someone to help me. #no wonder the company has to secretly manipulate you

[knickknacksandallthat]

because I know you'd appreciate this, please just imagine, kevin with freckles leading down a side of his neck and jean is stupidly obsessed with it

ANON. I - I just - ugh - *bites fist*

YES. YES. YES.

Kevin with a dusting of freckles that starts at his collarbone and sweeps up the side of his neck and ends right under his ear.

Jean, who's entranced by them, undeniably obsessed with them, who likes to skim the freckled skin with his nose, followed by his lips

Jean, who whispers in Kevin's ear things like my lips touch the sky through the constellations on your skin, and galaxies spun, universes woven on a milky white canvas that I have the privilege of tracing, and I would kiss each one a thousand times over and it would never be enough

And Kevin will melt underneath those eyes, those lips, those hands

His head falling back against Jean's shoulder as the backliner's fingertips trace, as he mouths his way along the marked path until Kevin's lungs are burning and he's breathless and -

YEP. I'M COMPLETELY NORMAL ABOUT THIS.

#for some reason I could see Jean using the freckles as an excuse to streak gold paint over them #or glitter #and just being fascinated with how they look under his fingers #the glow of Kevin's skin #man is gone for it #and meanwhile kevin CANNOT handle the attention Jean gives #squirming and yet oh so pleased #good prompt anon #we're 100% running with it #hc accepted #kevin day #jean moreau #aftg #all for the game #lovely people #thank you for the ask!

[softpine]

hacker voice we’re in

#i can't wait anymore i told my family i have work to do and disappeared so i could play fjksdjs #casper is just a toddler for now and i'm gonna cheat and make caroline be pregnant so i can get the full infant experience #the existential horror of being a sim who wakes up one day and is suddenly in the 3rd trimester of a pregnancy that never existed before #like that woman from severance 😔 #i haven't decided yet if i want to put them in 1 lot with 2 houses or make them all live separately #idk how much stress i want to deal with lmao #i already had to delete poor mac </3 i cannot handle a cat and a new life stage all at once #anyway i'm probably not going to post any pictures #except maybe i'll do one big compilation #i just want to have fun and not focus on making things look pretty #anyway!!!! goodbye i'm gonna go play!! #pregnancy tw #growing together gameplay

[punk-raphaelite]

I need to be either high or unconscious within the next hour or im going to freak out

#m #my post #venting #reblog if you want to idc #im behind at work and we have to keep pushing the exhibit timing back and its my fault #becasue im still not recovered from surgery and i cant work full hours yet #and my boss and everyone is being really nice about it but that makes me feel worse! #i know im the cause of all this frustration just fucking yell at me so i know where we stand i cannot take this #i would rather be screamed at i feel like im being handled with kid gloves or something #i used to know my limits and know what i could get done in a day/week bc i worked really hard at figuring that out the last years of uni #but now i have no idea bc its varries day to day and i have no control and im in so much pain all the time

[olly-olly-octopus]

i know we don't have all the facts yet but here's my own personal theory about tma 2:

so, i've believed, since i listened to mag200, that martin survived and jon didn't, because i feel that jon COULDN'T survive being stabbed in the chest and then possibly being ripped from the eye, which we already know from his time at mikaele selasa's house that he doesn't really handle well physically, and that was BEFORE he became the pupil

on listening to 'oh... hello' and considering the theory that martin is now a web avatar (i saw somebody say that his 'death' is the last step but i've been listening to Q&As and jonny said that death isn't a requirement) and i do think that being transported to a different universe probably did affect him in some ways so i'm willing to embrace the web!martin thepry

so, when they got to... wherever, and jon was dying/dead, martin probably had NOTHING he could do to help him. BUT there was probably a tape recorder that came through with him, and we know that the web uses tapes to keep track of things and push people in different directions. and if martin had some kind of web powers, he could have maybe... bound jon to a tape? which would explain the three reversed 'statement remains' from jon in 'oh... hello'. it would also probably keep jon 'alive' or at least sustained because the tapes have knowledge etc which is helpful to the eye

#sorry i know ppl are saying this but i haven't seen anybody write it all out in full yet #tma #the magnus archives #the magnus archives 2 #tma 2 #jon sims #martin blackwood #IF YOU FACT CHECK ME HERE PLS BE NICE ABOUT IT I CANNOT HANDLE CRITICISM #olspondering

[dimonds456]

hey tumblr, thanks for recommending me a TERF post "based on my likes." I hope the hour I spent blocking as many people as I could bear in the notes is enough of a hint for you.

#i've seen some shit this morning y'all #like it was one of those posts that i initially agreed with but then alarm bells went off in my head at some of the phrasing #the post was about how 2-year-olds and 3-year-olds don't have a concept of gender yet because they're too little #followed by 'amazing it's almost like telling kids what boys and girls are will help them understand' #so i checked the notes and it was rampant with terfs #the main post was never tagged as anything though someone just posted a twitter screenshot #i need to find the terf tags post thing cuz i didnt have time to block before but i guess i do now #now i'm paranoid about how much of my stuff has been this shit and i never realized #anyway be careful guys it's fucking BAD out here #dimond speaks #tw transphobia #tw transphobes #and like i agree- 2 and 3 are too young for this stuff since the gender binary is so fucking strong #of course girls can play with dinosaurs if they want that doesn't make them boys #but kinds will understand that the more experience and knowledge they gain of the world around them #they barely know they're sentient yet of course they're gonna get confused #but once they DO get a better handle on what gender is then some of them are gonna realize that being a boy was the right answer all along #you cannot make that judgement for them #and also like no harm no fowl if they DO think they're trans for a while? like what's wrong with that?? #this shit is complex as fuck and i do not expect a 3-year-old to get it okay? #took me til i was about 15 to even know trans people existed at all and a couple more months to realize i was one too #and i'm fucking dumb like i'm not a good metric to go off of #but even if 3-year-olds aren't going to understand that's where you as the parent have to help them understand it #but little by little #like as teenagers and adults we can just look something up and tada! there's the answer! #kids can't do that yet they DO need parents to help them #those parents just also have to be aware of how they're teaching their kids #there's a difference between 'girls like pink and boys like blue' and 'and your age it literally doesn't matter but girls like she/her' #and that was a terrible example but i'm not a parent so #you figure it out

[becca-alexa]

thank god i watched stranger things first because if i had watched timewasters first there is no way i would have been able to watch joseph quinn in literally anything else

#becca.txt #good lord ralph has captured my heart but he makes me want to (s)cream #i cannot handle this #and i would not have been able to cope with meeting ralph before eddie #i would have fallen in love with him all the same but for completely different reasons #i have a daddy kink for eddie but a mommy kink for ralph and a bitch fucking confusion #stranger things #timewasters #eddie munson #ralph timewasters #i haven't even gotten around to watching dickensian yet #or the bbc les mis #also does anyone know where i can watch that? #joseph quinn #joe quinn #joe quinn???more like hoe quinn because this man is doing unspeakable things to me #if anyone in my personal life ever found my blog i would disintegrate off the face of the earth

[spellmage]

i’m having the horrible urge to attempt an honour mode run with maidris

#me vs the excuse to get more pictures of my creature #i haven’t tried honour mode yet and all i’ve heard is pain so i guess that’s accurate to the maidris experience #does mean i have to delete some saves because ps5 cannot handle above the bare minimum amount of saves thanks sony

[slytherinsimping]

There should be an emotional support group for when you finish reading a long, MCD compliant fic 🥲

#i felt it when i read art hesit baby #and now I've finally finished all the young dudes im suffering again #i CANNOT handle these MCD fics #and yet i keep reading them 🥲 #marauders fandom

[toytulini]

mental health just straight up plummeting

#toy txt post #everyday the smallest things have me spiralling into such stupid despair #constantly fighting myself cos every single thing has me wanting to throw up my hands and walk the fuck off bc theres bo point #whats the fucking point!! just despair and exhaustion and burned the fuck out and gnashing at the fucking walls and then spiralling into #a stupid little self pity self hate spiral cos im just a weak stupid little baby who cant handle the real world. plenty of ppl have it so #much worse and havent given up yet so whats my fucking problem? which is so stupid. but i cant logic my way out of this one #so i am simply sitting here feeling so god damn bad #and i dont even really have. a good reason for it. idk. like i dont have a lot of concrete quantifiable reasons i can present about why #i am so goddamn miserable at my job. im just. going insane i need out im performing badly its not worth it theres no fucking point #every day im fighting the urge to just fucking walk off over the stupidest tiniest things that are definitely not worth that kind of #reaction. like yea maybe i do need like mental health meds or smth but i also know. i need out of this fucking. job. but i dont know #like. idk its like my options are just kore of this same stupid bullshit or retail/food service. and like. shout out to retail and food #service. i fucking could not i fucking cannot. but like im reaching that point here too. everything hurts all the time with no reprieve and #all my options just feel like its gonna be ! even more stupid repetitive motions that wont help! like idk! idk what to do. i just #wanna read about stupid little fucking worms and fish but doing that professionally im not sure im up to it and #between me and that career path is thousands of dollars and homework. so #now im the rat instead now im the rat instead now im the rat instead now im the rat instead #trying so hard not to display idk red flag behavior but im Going Insane. i should just start crying at work. why bother hiding it. whats the #point #vent #ig #i should go eat. and waste the rest of my stupid fucking night playing zelda trying to soothe my brain enough to function except im not #functjoning cos then itll be 5am again and ill have done nothing but play zelda and be up too late and go to bed and not get enough sleep #and be a little to a lot late and be miserable and the cycle just fucking never ends #not enough fucking podcasts about worms out there for this #i opened several academic papers on tongue eating isopods to cope and barely read them bc i cant do that at work it takes too long and i get #lost and my productivity is already in the shit and i need to stop being on my phone and i know that but like also if i dont fucking #distract my stupid fucking brain right fucking now im gonna start throwing things and crying #anyway. thats how im doing. bye

[hella1975]

WHY ARE YOU MESSAGING ME NOW OF ALL TIMES 🤺🤺 BACK 🤺 BACK I SAY 🤺🤺🤺

#not the childhood best friend popping up it’s as if he knows my mental health is fucked when I’m home #he said yes now is a great time to reach out actually #and he’s right too! i know damn well I’m gonna respond! #basically <- typed that word and burst out laughing bc idk how to even START explaining this mf to you guys #basicallyyyy me and him were in the same form at secondary so EVERY DAY we saw each other and in year 8 we dated #for a good while actually but tbh my mental health was FUCKED all caps FUCKED in year 8 like there was nothing special about it #it's just i reckon it was the first proper depressive episode i had and being so young i didnt know yet how to handle it #so i just spiralled and i did some really awful things and my home life really suffered for it and being me no one at school had a CLUE #so he was just like 'yes we are in love!' and i knew i didn't like him romantcially but i strung him along anyway #bc he genuinely was one of the few things keeping me above water at the time #which looking back i now know was a bad thing to do and i should have called it off sooner but like #his friendship was EVERYTHING to me at the time bc he was like really. adoring? he was really really infatuated with me #and at a time when i was convinced i was a monster it was just. i cannot explain how much he kept me sane #though he was obvs OBLIVIOUS to all that and when i finally got Mentally Healthy again i obvs broke up with him bc it was the right #thing to do and he was DEVASTATED like this man was vaguing about me on sc and refused to talk to me for MONTHS #but eventually we became friends again and at a time when i was changing friendship groups every YEAR if that he was just #a really consistant point in my life and i loved him a lot. BUT he always went for really batshit girlfriends and they always HATED me #no matter how nice i was to them and he'd always break up with them and crawl back to me and we argued like cat and dog like #he's the only friend ive ever had where we argued ALL THE TIME and he still liked me enough to come back #i genuinely thought the world of him despite everything we just have sooo much history #AND NOW HE'S MESSAGING ME???? god im not your strongest soldier

[synonymouslyyours]

.

#vent #someones giving me a referral for an internship and im so grateful buts its happening so damn fast and i cant get this goddamn cover letter #its my first time writing a cover letter now that i have actual experience to draw upon and its such a different skillset than #the bullshit i wrote before #and youd think it would be easier but i am just so overwhelmed and cannot handle this #i found out about the internship monday. met with the guy for the referral tuesday. and so he wants my materials to recommend on wednesday #but its 5am and i dont have it done yet and im scared ive already fucked this up because i shouldve tried harder but im just freaking out #cuz i still havent done my homework and i still havent done any of my grading work for 17 fucking students and i need to interview peopl fo #project management stuff in the next couple days and i need to fix my class schedule by thursday and its rosh hashana on friday night and i #just cant do it all im not managing to do any of it #but this is huge opportunity the internship is at a great company and its 50 bucks an hour which is crazy and this guy is a great connectio #which i dont have for any other opportunity so #i dont know if i can afford to fuck this up and i just need to get it done but i just cant i just cant do it and i tried to schedule a #career advising meeting but theyre all taken until THURSDAY and the guy really likes proactive people and hes for sure going to have a #lowered opinion of me for not being able to get a cover letter done which is supposed to only take 15 minutes #so im fucked and i fucking hate everything im just so goddamn done with how stressful everything is even when good things are happening lik #whats the goddamn point #ok i think im having an anxiety attack

[ham-nah]

college is so funny because one (1) thing goes wrong and i’m already imagining scenarios where i’m living homeless on the streets

#found myself vividly imagining worst case scenarios and i had to be like #!!bestie?? dramatic much??? chill out?? maybe? #im literally not even there yet #haven’t even registered for classes #registration opens in 40 minutes. the problem came WITH REGISTRATION. I HAVENT DONE ANYTHING AND IM ALREADY WAAAAY TOO STRESSED #college is not for me man. i cannot handle stuff like this without someone to help me. i am going to die. #oh how i wish to learn school of the athens style #all the homies and ppl who want to learn talking about their interests #idk how it actually worked but that’s what the painting looked like #also ample use of google and youtube #idk man they just make it so unnecessarily complicated and stressful #im also rambling because i just pulled a stress all-nighter #SIGH #wish me luck boys #ham speaks #ham is a college girlie

[lexa-griffins]

To the people who sent me clexa date outfit ideas (1st off 😘 thank you!) I've sketched them and I am now fighting with my tablet to get pressure working so I can actually draw them!!! ☺️

#ignoreme.jpg #i would do it traditionally but MY SKETCHBOOK ISNT HERE YET 😤 #and the one I have cannot handle water color withou getting all spotty unfortunately