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#all my options just feel like its gonna be ! even more stupid repetitive motions that wont help! like idk! idk what to do. i just
toytulini · 10 months
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mental health just straight up plummeting
#toy txt post#everyday the smallest things have me spiralling into such stupid despair#constantly fighting myself cos every single thing has me wanting to throw up my hands and walk the fuck off bc theres bo point#whats the fucking point!! just despair and exhaustion and burned the fuck out and gnashing at the fucking walls and then spiralling into#a stupid little self pity self hate spiral cos im just a weak stupid little baby who cant handle the real world. plenty of ppl have it so#much worse and havent given up yet so whats my fucking problem? which is so stupid. but i cant logic my way out of this one#so i am simply sitting here feeling so god damn bad#and i dont even really have. a good reason for it. idk. like i dont have a lot of concrete quantifiable reasons i can present about why#i am so goddamn miserable at my job. im just. going insane i need out im performing badly its not worth it theres no fucking point#every day im fighting the urge to just fucking walk off over the stupidest tiniest things that are definitely not worth that kind of#reaction. like yea maybe i do need like mental health meds or smth but i also know. i need out of this fucking. job. but i dont know#like. idk its like my options are just kore of this same stupid bullshit or retail/food service. and like. shout out to retail and food#service. i fucking could not i fucking cannot. but like im reaching that point here too. everything hurts all the time with no reprieve and#all my options just feel like its gonna be ! even more stupid repetitive motions that wont help! like idk! idk what to do. i just#wanna read about stupid little fucking worms and fish but doing that professionally im not sure im up to it and#between me and that career path is thousands of dollars and homework. so#now im the rat instead now im the rat instead now im the rat instead now im the rat instead#trying so hard not to display idk red flag behavior but im Going Insane. i should just start crying at work. why bother hiding it. whats the#point#vent#ig#i should go eat. and waste the rest of my stupid fucking night playing zelda trying to soothe my brain enough to function except im not#functjoning cos then itll be 5am again and ill have done nothing but play zelda and be up too late and go to bed and not get enough sleep#and be a little to a lot late and be miserable and the cycle just fucking never ends#not enough fucking podcasts about worms out there for this#i opened several academic papers on tongue eating isopods to cope and barely read them bc i cant do that at work it takes too long and i get#lost and my productivity is already in the shit and i need to stop being on my phone and i know that but like also if i dont fucking#distract my stupid fucking brain right fucking now im gonna start throwing things and crying#anyway. thats how im doing. bye
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Rookie- Leon Kennedy x Reader Chapter 12
Words: 2505
Warnings: None
A/N: one more chapter after this, and then I’m going straight to Carlos!
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Why couldn't it just die?
You watched in horror as the mass of flesh and bone grew rapidly throughout the train car. In the center of it all was a big, irritated eye. An eye that you've seen all night. It had a Medusa effect, freezing you in place once it looked at you. William Birkin...
You pulled out your gun, though you didn't think bullets would do much for this creature. Not after all the bullets it had already endured throughout the night; the thing was practically indestructible. Still, you had to do something, so you shot at it anyway. Maybe you could slow down its growth while you thought of a plan. At least you hoped that would work. Leon began shooting too, but the creature hardly reacted. Instead, it continued to grow until it had you and Leon stuck at the front of the car. You knew you were in trouble, and there was only one option: lose the car.
"Y/N, Leon, we've got to disconnect the car!" Claire shouted over the deafening chaos. It seemed she was way ahead of you.
"Go help her. I'll cover you!" You shouted to Leon. Your voice could barely be heard over the sound of the gunshots.
"Are you sure you've got this?" He yelled back.
"Of course I do! Go!" Your confidence was fake, but he didn't need to know that. You just needed him a little closer to safety.
He turned around, working with Claire to unfasten the hooks between the two cars.
William was growing closer and closer now, and your gun was no defense. Any second now it would reach you and your friends. This better not be the end, you thought. Not after everything else you've survived.
"Can you hurry?" You shouted at them as you rushed to reload your gun. Maybe these next few bullets would work, you thought, even though you knew they wouldn't.
"We're almost done!" Claire shouted back. She and Leon were so close to disconnecting the car. Any moment now...
And then it was done.
The next few seconds went by so quickly it was a miracle you survived.
"Y/N!" She shouted.
You turned around and jumped from your car, eyes widening in horror as you saw the train tracks below you.
You weren't going to make it.
Then, a hand grabbed your arm and pulled you onto the train. You were wrapped in someone's arms, face pressed into their chest. It was Leon. He was still breathing heavy, and it made you aware of your own racing heart.
It must have been the heat of the moment, or maybe the adrenaline, because you did something you never dreamed of actually doing. Without much thought, you grabbed Leon by his collar and kissed him. On the lips. Oh, if Marvin could see you now.
This kiss was quick, and you pulled back to see his expression. For a moment, you couldn’t tell what he was thinking, and dread replaced the bubbly feeling in your stomach. But then he smiled that same stupid smile you fell in love with, before pulling you back in for another, longer kiss. You couldn't help the corners of your lips turning upward as well. Because deep down, you had been wanting this all night. You finally pulled away, out of breath again.
"Took you long enough," Leon finally said, the stupid grin still growing on his face.
"Oh shut up," you replied, looking away. There you met eyes with Claire and Sherry. You forgot they were here... how awkward. Claire gave you a sheepish smile while Sherry covered her mouth to keep from giggling.
The tension eased away slowly as Sherry and Claire moved toward the front of the car to talk. You sat down on the floor of the train. Oh, it felt so nice to finally sit down. You've been on your feet almost the whole week, and now you could finally rest. Leon sat down next to you, and you debated whether or not to rest your head up on his shoulder. Would that be too much? Were you moving too fast? You never thought you would get this far in a relationship in one night, but hey, stranger things have happened. You literally just survived an apocalypse, maybe this relationship wasn't so crazy. Still, you didn't dare put your head on his shoulder.
The two of you fell into silence. The steady, repetitive sounds of the train filled air instead. It nearly put Leon to sleep, but to you it only fueled your thoughts. You thought back to just before the outbreak started, when all of your fellow officers were still among the living. They were hanging decorations to welcome Leon. The buzz in the precinct brought life to even the most jaded cops, for they were all so excited to meet him. If only the could've...
You remembered that you had promised to tell Leon about them once you were safe. And seeing as there was no immediate danger, maybe this would be a good time. You pulled out your wallet from your back pocket. There was a folded up picture stuffed into one of the card slots, which you unfolded and looked at. It was a picture of you on your first day, with all of the officers in the back. You smiled at the image.
"Leon," you nudged him, unknowingly startling him awake. "Oh! I'm so sorry! I didn't know you were asleep." It took him a moment to reply.
"No. It's fine. What did you want?"
"It can wait," you said sheepishly, folding the picture back up.
"But it doesn't have to. What is that?" He motioned toward the picture.
"Oh," you laughed, tucking your hair behind your ear, "I was gonna tell you about the officers, like I said I would earlier."
"I'd like that"
Who were you gonna start with? This was probably a bad idea, seeing as most of them were dead or M.I.A. Could you keep calm talking about them? Or even thinking about them? Maybe this wound was too fresh. But then Leon pointed to someone in the picture.
"Tell me more about him," he said. His finger just below Elliot's face. You remembered that Leon had seen him die, you could understand why he would be curious about the officer.
"That's Elliot," you began, "On my first day, he brought me Chinese take-out." You smiled, looking back at the memory. You tried focusing on the good memories with them instead of, well, anything that had happened in the last week.
"Sounds like a nice guy," Leon added. You laughed.
"Oh, you didn't know him like I did. He could be nice, but he was more like a mean older brother. He loved to prank me. If none of..." you trailed off "if none of this had happened, he would've have fun with you too."
"It's a shame," Leon said under his breath. He was right, you thought; it really was.
"This is David," you pointed to another face, "He had daughters my age, so I could get him to do anything I wanted," your smile faded, "We lost him the day before you came."
Leon looked up from the picture to you, eyes full of concern. His arm wrapped around your shoulder, pulling you a little closer to him.
Your eyes met a face in the very back, a young man was walking through the back of the office, oblivious of the photo being taken. It was Chris, Claire's brother.
"Hey Claire," you began "Come take a look at this."
The girl walked over to where you and Leon were sitting, Sherry behind her. She crouched down in front of you, and you handed her the picture. Her eyes scanned the picture multiple times before lighting up at the sight of her brother
"That's Chris!" She said, squinting at the image.
"He's safe, He's somewhere in Europe right now," you told her.
"I know. I found a letter from him in the station but it didn't sound like him. You’d think he’d have told me about leaving the country. There's something up, I just know it," she sighed, "It's always been just me and him, I don't know what I'd do if anything happened to him."
"I know your brother, He knows how to handle himself. I'm sure he's fine," you tried to reassure her, "but I know how you feel.”
“Do you really?” Claire said. She didn’t mean to sound so rude, but it slipped out before she could stop it.
“I have a brother too, he’s all that I have left. He’s a freshman in college a couple states away. I tried to convince him to stay in Raccoon city and attend a local college instead. Now that I think about it, that could've killed him.”
"You're an orphan too?" She asked.
"I'm afraid so," you began, "My parents lived in Raccoon city, too, and when this whole thing started, they never came to the station."
"How do you know they didn't leave the city? they could've evacuated, they might still be alive,” Leon spoke up.
"I know my parents, they knew I would be at the station. They would've done everything in their power to get there.” An uncomfortable silence settled between the four of you, and you suddenly regretted sharing.
"I'm gonna need a lot of therapy after this," you joked, hoping to change the subject. Leon and Claire both laughed.
"Me too. Maybe there'll be a Raccoon city support group or something,” Claire added.
"Zombie apocalypse survivor group therapy,” Leon said, smiling.
“Seriously though, we’ve got to stick together for now on,” you said, looking the three of them in the eye. Leon nodded, but Claire looked away.
Eventually, the train's path came to an end and all four of you got off. Then, you started walking the long road ahead. It was daylight now, and the sun was beaming down on you. The walk was mostly in silence, as the four of you were so tired that conversation just didn’t flow as easily as it did earlier. That was until Sherry spoke up.
"So are you guys boyfriend and girlfriend?" She asked. You froze in place. Leon turned around to look at the girl.
"Sherry!" Claire laughed in surprise, putting her hand on the girl's shoulder.
"Well uh... we're not sure just yet," Leon said to her.
"But you kissed earlier."
"That's true, but uh..."
"We just met yesterday, actually," you added. You could feel the heat across your cheeks get worse when you glanced up at Leon, who was already looking at you.
"But you two like each other, don't you?" She asked, leaving you and Leon in an awkward silence.
"I do, at least," Leon said, looking over to you, "And I have a feeling you feel the same way."
"Yeah," you said, looking anywhere but their eyes. Gosh, this was so embarrassing.
"If you like each other, then you should be girlfriend and boyfriend. It's not that complicated..." Sherry said. Oh, if only the world was that simple.
"You're right, Sherry," Leon laughed, "We adults tend to over complicate things." He cocked a brow at you, and you rolled your eyes at him. Still, you couldn't help a small smile from peaking through.
Eventually, the road you traveled led to a gas station and across from it, a motel. Leon let out a sigh of relief when he saw the two buildings, for he was exhausted from the long walk under an unforgiving sun.
"Does anyone have any money?" You asked, hoping not to be the only one to have this financial responsibility. Leon and Claire stopped in their tracks, making Sherry look back at them in confusion.
"My wallet's in my car" Leon realized.
"At the gas station...." Claire joined.
"This gas station? What are you talking about?" You replied.
"No, there was a gas station on the outskirts of the city. We met each other there." Leon said.
"So none of us have any money?" Claire deadpanned. "We're screwed."
"I have money," you said, “Not a lot, though, I only have a cop’s salary.”
"Don't worry, I'll pay you back." Leon said.
"No, You don't have to. I was just being dramatic, I can afford it."
So the four of you grabbed all the hygiene supplies and food that you needed from the gas station and racked up a rather scary bill. Thank God you thought to keep your wallet throughout all of this chaos. There were so many times where you considered dropping it for more room or tossing it a zombie's head.
The four of you headed to the motel across the street. Leon held open the door to the lobby, letting the rest of you file in. You couldn't help but think it was really hot when he did that. Why are basic manners so sexy?
Inside the lobby was a woman taking a phone call. She caught sight of all of you and froze.
The woman dropped the phone back onto its reciever. You knew why. Walking into a motel lobby with bruises, bullet wounds, and bite marks, you were bound to get a response. She stared at you for a moment, eyes wide.
"Can we have a room?" You asked the woman. She stayed in her trance, looking from you, to Leon, then Claire, and then Sherry.
"Ma'am?" Leon asked. She jumped, stuttering and pulling out the guest book.
"Uh-uh-of course!" She spluttered, pitting on a fake smile. Her eyes, though, stayed wide. You signed the book and pulled out your wallet.
"I-I don't mean to be rude, but what happened to you?" She asked. Now it was your time to freeze. From behind you, Claire anxiously laughed.
"Uhhhh" Leon droned, rubbing the back of his neck.
"Camping accident," Sherry said. Thank God for Sherry.
"Uh- yeah, we got a little lost up in the mountains," you added.
She looked at each person up and down. Tension grew between the four of you because you knew she saw past your weak excuse. It was impossible not to. You waited anxiously for her response.
"I'll take you to your room," she said, Grabbing a pair of keys from the back wall. You let out a breath of relief.
The room was nothing special, but it was a huge improvement to where you had spent most of your week. There were two queen sized beds in the middle of the room along with a tv, mini fridge, microwave, desk, and couch. You set down the plastic bags on the desk. This would be an interesting night, you knew it would.
From the inside of the hotel lobby, the woman hesitantly picked up the phone again. In her other hand was a business card.
"Hello? This is the owner of the Arklay Motel. You told me to call if I found any more survivors. I've got four."
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bellatrixobsessed1 · 6 years
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I’ll Meet You At The Bottom Part 32
Since my birthday is tomorrow I may or may not put another chapter out that day. Like Imma try, but I make no promises. 
Azula had to laugh, at least to herself. She had left the Ash Pit with intentions to never go back and there she was brining it home with her. Fair was fair though, she had to deal with Sokka’s stupid friends now he’d have to deal with her sketchy companions. “Just pick one already.” She sighed at Bo-Rem.
 “I don’t like any of them.” The girl grumbled. “And the one’s I do are too small.” She held up another shirt that had no room to accommodate her muscles. “Ya know what, I’m just going to check the men’s section.”
 “What’re we doin’ here?” Yoko barked as he gestured about the marketplace. “Taeyul needs help ‘n you need to fix yer priorities.”  
 “I do have my priorities straight.” Azula argued. “If you actually want to make it into the palace, you all are going to have to looked respectable.” She looked at the sorry lot. “Or at least, presentable.” Azula entertained herself by picking through a few articles of clothing. She looked up from it to see Yoko still loitering about. “The sooner you pick something, the sooner we can leave. He plucked something from a hanger without looking and handed it to her. “Are you sure that you want that one?”
 Without looking at it he nodded.
 “Alright, fine.” She rolled her eyes. Whether he liked it or not, he would be wearing it. It was the most childish looking dress attire she’d ever seen in the men’s section. Boryuk found something remotely quick, while Yoona was off in the back fumbling with a particularly elaborate, multipiece kimono. The girl had no idea how to wear it properly and was lost in a forest of fine fabric. “How about we try something a little easier.” Azula suggested, leading her over to the once piece dresses.
 “Why don’t Taeyul have to do this?” Yoko complained.
 Azula blinked, this question she wouldn’t dignify with a response. Instead she turned to Kohza. He, unlike the rest of them, seemed to be relishing in the experience. This was part of the higher life he had been longing to part take in and was eagerly sifting through each robe he could spy. He seemed to love each and every one for a different reason. Which was almost as bad as detesting them all. He was taking just as long as Bo-Rem but for a completely opposite reason.
 Chan, unaspiringly, picked out something with ease and took to glaring at Sokka who glared back; an unbreakable display of no-contact testosterone. Azula had an unweaving suspicion that Sokka had started this ridiculous staring contest. She made a point of directly standing in the incorporeal line their strong eye contact was creating. She could practically feel the tension beaming through her soul, but it was worth it to have ended their little pissing contest. “Chan, go help Kohza pick his favorite.”
 He shoved himself off of the shelf he had been leaning on and sulked over to Kohza.
 “What about me, what do I get to do?” Sokka asked.
 “You can keep an eye on Taeyul or go help Bo-Rem, your pick.”
 “Is, ‘keep standing right over here’ an option?” Sokka replied.
 “It was until you asked for something to do.” Azula shrugged.
 She watched him—equally as cross as his newfound rival—make his way towards Taeyul. That left her, was there ever any doubt, to Bo-Rem. It took much longer than it should have, but at last Azula found something that Bo-Rem could tolerate.  From there it was remotely easy. Despite so, the princess found herself growing antsy; she was itching to finally get back to her training. Bo-Rem’s prior commentary might have hit a little closer to home than she was willing to admit. Even without, Azula missed going through the rigorous motions of firebending. With Zuko well on his way to Ember Island—she didn’t believe that he actually would until the boat was actually on its way with him in it—there would be no hassle at all in getting the group into the palace. She was, after all, their temporary Fire Lord, if she wanted to bring in a bunch of shady ruffians, they’d have to let her. “Now, if everybody except Chan and Khoza keeps quiet, everything should go smoothly. Azula settled her gaze on Yoona and her constant stream of almost intangible babble. She went blissfully undaunted by Azula’s stare.
 “See that tree, Chan?” Sokka asked as he pointed to the dragon maple. “That’s our spot, mine and Azula’s. It has been for a while now.”
 “Good to finally be informed.” Azula muttered.
 “So?” Chan asked.
 “So, you can’t go under it.”
 “I don’t want to go under your stupid tree!” Chan threw his hands up. “I don’t even like trees!”
 “Who doesn’t like trees?” Sokka shouted. This was more pointless than any argument Azula had ever tried to start with him.  She made sure to stomp it out before they finished crossing the courtyard. Once inside the palace they were greeted by Aang. It didn’t take long for the other two to appear.
 “Idiots of Sokka, meet my, probably bigger, idiots.” Azula introduced. “I’ll let you all get to know each other.”
 “I like her.” Toph pointed at Bo-Rem.
 “Wait, where are you going?” Sokka asked.
 “I have to work on my firebending. I’m sure Chan can handle…”
 “No he can’t.” Sokka whispered.
 “You’re right, he doesn’t know who to ask.” Azula resigned to wasting another few moments. “Katara, that’s Taeyul. You can help him, yes?”
 “I think that I can.” She nodded. And after inspecting him for a few moments, backtracked some. “I hope that I can. He’s…he’s not in good shape.”
 “If you can help me, I’m sure you can help him.” Azula assured.
 “Azula, you were never that close to death.”
 Azula shuddered at the possibility that she was close at all and wondered exactly which time that had been.
 “I’ll see what I can do.”
 “Mind if I come train with you?” Chan asked.
 The idea of him watching her when her skills were so rusty…so neglected sent a new kind of dread radiating through her. He was one of the few who still had a mostly polished, untainted version of her. No, she planned on training alone—her firebending was one area where everyone still had a pristine impression. If not, they had high expectations; not quite at the altitude of her own, but still high. “I train alone.”
 “Since when?” He asked.
 Since you asked, the retort was on the tip of her tongue. “Since I decided that I need to focus.” She waved her hand dismissively. “Besides, you have some bonding to do.”
 Chan looked reluctantly at the gang.
 It didn’t take long, not at all. In fact, she had taken only a few steps into the adjoining hall when she heard footsteps padding along behind her. Sokka had a very distinct step sound, heavy but in a soft sort of way that she couldn’t explain with certainty. It might have been that he still liked to wear fur boots that suffocated the brunt of the noise. She knew it would drive Chan up the wall, but she let him tag along. Somehow she didn’t really mind if he watched her fail miserably, he already has multiple times. “You can come along, but don’t do anything distracting.” She tossed back at him.
 “I was just gonna grab my canvas and paint while you do you your fire thing.” Sokka replied.
 “I’ll meet you there.” She replied. While he split off to fetch his supplies from his room, she stopped for a change of clothes. Something with a lesser excess of sleeves. Something a little easier to move in and a little less flammable.
 Azula began before Sokka arrived, a quick warmup that went relatively smoothly. She also worked through the first set of stances in her normal routine. A task that proved to her that her skills had been so horribly neglected. She supposed that she should be thankful; even at her lowest she could still probably get the better of the average firebender. But that wasn’t good enough, not at all. The one thing she had prided herself for, she no longer had complete mastery over. She was slower, slightly off balance, her muscles weaker from such a prolonged lack of use. She was nearly frustrated to tears, these things should be coming naturally to her. But they weren’t, she knew that she shouldn’t have expected them too. And so it was that Sokka’s sudden presence was once again uncomfortable and unwelcomed, no matter how much he’d already seen. She didn’t want him to see her stumble, not at this.
 “Why do you go paint outside?” She asked.
 “I always paint outside.” Sokka shrugged. “Besides, I want to watch you firebend. It always looked so…powerful. It’ll be nice to see it without you trying to kill me while doing it.”
 “Say the wrong thing and I will definitely kill you, Sokka.” Azula promised.
 “Are you stalling?”
 “What? No. I’m taking a break.”
 “Already?”
 She sent a tiny bolt of lightning at his feet and he lifted his arms in surrender. “That’s a good start, now keep that up.” He grinned stupidly. Azula hated that goofy grin. She waited until he began fishing out his paints to resume her own task. At first, the firebender mostly dabbled with her lightning, she’d never truly lost her touch there. It brought a sense of comfort to know so. By the time she decided to go back to bending fire, Sokka was mostly engrossed in his art. Enough so that Azula felt less observed as she conjured up a whirling pinwheel of fire. This earned her a sharp, “hey careful, working with delicate material here.”
 “I’m sure your ego will hold up.” Azula rolled her eyes. “Besides, it wasn’t even close to you.”
 She moved onto something more elaborate, a form that involved a rapid barrage of fire and a few midair kicks. The first few went smoothly but she was tiring much faster than she would have liked. She paused for a minute or two and then resumed. In due time she found herself decently satisfied with that set and threw in something new; an old favorite technique. Something that required a bit of a running start. A running start that burst into a jump and brining her leg down in an arc of fire and then a repetition of the motion but instead of an arc she would go for a somersault of fire. This didn’t go quite so smoothly. Her first arc was rather impressive, but the somersault ended with a harsh thud. One loud enough to catch Sokka’s attention and add the first tinge of pink to her cheeks. She blew her bangs from her face and tried a second time. And a third, each seemed to be progressively getting worse. She found herself growing increasingly more embarrassed, and therefore, irritated with every blunder. She looked ridiculous. She tried for another somersault of flames, but she had put too much force into it, bringing her down without a scrap of grace. Azula stumbled to keep her balance. She could practically see her father leering at her. She tried it a third time, that one ending more tragically than the time before it. That time she hadn’t even landed on her feet. Sokka’s eyes seemed practically glued to her by then and she was making a fool of herself. By then her face was completely flushed with both humiliation and simmering agitation. She went for it once more, this time not even succeeding with the first arc.
 “Hey, hey, calm down.” Sokka spoke gently, he put his brush down. “You bend better when you’re not angry. Isn’t that why you were so good at firebending before? Because you were so calm.”
 Azula brushed her hair out of her face; when had it gotten so long? He had a solid point, but she couldn’t bring herself to feel anything but exasperation, not when this should be coming so naturally to her.
 “Here.” He came to stand behind her, first massaging the tension out of her shoulders and then out of her back. After doing so, he lifted her arm and extended it, mimicking the stances he’d so often seen her utilize. Some time into it she took the lead and let him follow her through the motions. His hold restricted her from producing any fire at all. Though it was about structure at that point, structure and stance. She could incorporate fire again later. For the time being, Azula was content with the intimacy. Content with his interest in bending with her, even if he could ever hope to produce a spark. She could feel his muscles rippling and contorting against her back. Could smell the tinge of sea-salt on his body. He must have recently taken a saltwater bath. He borrowed her pine soap, from the smell of it. His aroma soothed her some. And then he let go, his touch lingering only for one more brief moment.
 .oOo.
 Upon leaving her side, Azula added fire to the movements that they had just worked through. Her movements were simpler, less bold than he recalled. Speed seemed to be sidelined for perfecting the motions themselves. But she was as elegant as he was used to, despite the occasional falter. She was frighteningly powerful as ever and he hoped that she knew that. He watched slid from one stance to the next in fluid motions. She seemed more relaxed. Sokka couldn’t bring himself to pick up the brush again, he’d rather watch the real Azula.
 Perhaps he would join her some time, his swordsmanship was getting a bit rusty and he wouldn’t mind making a few slashes and slices, especially after spying some of the expensive training equipment scattered about the room.
 After some time had gone by, she tried for the somersaults again, her landings were still shaky or on her back altogether. He feared that she was hurting herself and wondered how many bruises would line the length of her back. She seemed undaunted by that though. By the end of it all, she was a little red faced and breathing hard.
He had to admire her dedication.
 .oOo.
 Sokka extended a hand and pulled her up. “You’ve been at this for hours now, I think it’s time to call it a night.”
 Azula wanted to protest, but even she knew there was no sense in draining herself on the first day. She hadn’t even trained that relentlessly during her prime. Hesitantly she let him lead her back to the springs so she could freshen herself up. She was a bit of a wreck but she didn’t need to look the part.
 A quick sweep of the dinner table confirmed that everyone still had yet to warm up to one another. Toph and Bo-Rem were the oddities, they connected right away. Not that Azula hadn’t predicted such. Bo-Rem was speaking fondly of The Rumble and Toph was insisting that she should part take. Listening to all of the awkward and forced conversation, Azula couldn’t wait to add dear Zu-Zu to the mix. The look on his face would be precious.
 This became a sort of routine. In between checking on Teayul and keeping tabs on both groups of idiots, the princess would retreat to go through her techniques. Eventually her touch would have come back to her, she supposed that she just needed to get used to going through the motions again. Sokka was always there working on either the painting of her. Eventually that came to a halt, in a fit of annoyance—during a particularly taxing firebending form—Azula carelessly kicked a ball of sapphire flame in Sokka’s direction. It both had him facedown on the ground after a spectacularly dramatic dive and nearly scorched the canvas. After dusting himself off Sokka cradled his portrait as if it were some precious gem. After that he wouldn’t let her near it at all claiming that such dangerous activities did not create a safe and healthy environment for a growing portrait. He no longer brought that canvas into the training room, instead he would bring a simple brush and ink and would create careless doodles. Sometimes she would pause her own training and watch him draw until she felt ready to begin again.
The days had a new sense of normalcy to them.
And on most of them the Ruby Tears hadn’t crossed her mind.
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