#now im the rat instead now im the rat instead now im the rat instead now im the rat instead

[alfazoings]

little doodles i drew after listening to the new ep to keep myself from biting into cement and then flopping around the floor like a fish

#malevolent #malevolent podcast #arthur lester #jarthur #john doe #privateeyes #i had to sit in school for 8 hours and all i did was think about Him #my oogly boogly #my scringlo rat #im so proud of my adopted pathetic man noise machine #as a reward he wont be getting thrown down the stairs affectionately tonight #legit feel like those parents w toddlers when they bring their child to the playground #and the kid just starts staring at anothef kid and im like awewewwww theyre best friends now #except instead of a kid its a grown ass man with deepseated trauma and a kill count #anyways as you can see im completely Normal #i am sane #i promise #(lie)

[whumpy-wyrms]

Dew and Anton!!!! :)

i drew this to replace the images in the masterlist cuz my art has improved sooo much since then and i thought it was time for a change! i will probably end up changing the background but im sooo eepy rn and wanted to be done with it tonight :) also Anton’s new weird green eyes may or may not have something to do with his lore 🧪🧪🧪🧪 im not gonna snitch on my guy tho

#anyway the brain blorbos have been brain blorboing lately #but specifically aspen and silas and i’ve been writing a lot about them #brc chapters coming very soon im so excited #my art #tllr art #dew oc #anton oc #the last lab rat #whump art #? #perhaps #scientist whumper #winged whumpee #lab whump #i’m obsessed with the way i draw anton now like wow wooooowww #he’s so cool #SO COOLLLL #i need to be his test subject PLEASEEEEW #Anton take me instead #Dew can we switch places bestieee #i neeed anton to give me top surgery and wings and be friends with a talking mouse and snake and other fun stuff pleaseee antonnnnnn hiii #okay gn tumblr im so normal about this obviously #eepy time 💤💤💤💤

[iholli]

glaring directly into the sun as I write them into my unpublished f/o list

#i was already in trouble w Donnie but I've been spending so much time with Leo fic I'm just like oh. well. shit. #plus I've been on the Leotello fence for. A While. so that hasn't helped #unfollow me now babes im officially coming out as a tcester #i don't have a tag decided yet #but yeah #au where rat stays w them 👏 #ive been violently fixing on the show again to cope with the BATSHIT AMOUNT OF BAD IN MY LIFE RN #this year fucking sucks. i am going to kiss some goofy ass turtles instead. #plus they're both biters. stay winning ✌️ #aight how am i tagging this #sorry in advance to whoever i piss off with this post #¯\_(ツ)_/¯ #ficto tag #proship selfship #leotello #tcest #i will probably be putting up an updated pin post #at some point #fr tho what should their tag be #i was thinking like #two's disaster. three's chaos #or something #i dunno im still brainstorming #could just do emotes for this tho? #💜💖💙 #that kinda fits tbh #olay sorry im done

[bobabirdd]

Steve.exe has stopped working

#I love them your honor #steddie #steve harrington #eddie munson #stranger things #stranger things fanart #artists on tumblr #fanart #this shoulda taken like 2 days but instead it took a week bc of work and my rats LMAO #im gonna fuck off n play planet coaster now bc the gamer itch has been bugging me all week but i wanted to finish this more

[the-yearning-astronaut]

.

#tbd #☉ #lemme start by prefacing this with I KNOW there's no real normal way to be human #ok i get that #but fucking HELL I wish i was normal #i wish my health was normal for my age #i wish i wasn't fucking. neurodivergent #im fine with being queer but ffs why am i in between normal queer and accepted Aroace-ness #why am i abnormal in that regard too #i wish I didn't alienate people i wish i didn't have to explain why im extra quiet and moody and minutes from a meltdown #i wish my hands and feet wouldn't swell up and hurt and burn and I wish i could take a fucking shower without feeling dread #because i had the water temp set to hot and now im dizzy and my heart is racing and im overheating -- alternatively I wish #i didn't feel so self conscious because i DONT shower every day or even every other day like i dont like when my hair goes limp either! #and i use deodorant everyday and wipe off when i can but i have fuckin Let's Sweat Buckets For No Reason Disorder so i always look and feel #like a drowned rat. im tired of being tired but not being able to sleep. im tired of not being able to explain that yes its really not you #its me. me wanting to be alone has nothing to do with you ok its my brain deciding to fuckin shut down because everything is too much rn #& idk how to tell you that im at my wits end but if you treat me with kidd gloves i WILL go off like a fuckin bomb. just treat me NORMAL ffs #just treat me normal 😭 i just want to be normal. i want to be able to sit down and just do my application stuff instead of #staring at a blank document for weeks and then wanting to throw things as the deadline approaches ( #its due friday and i have absolutely nothing written lmao) and idk if its executive dysfunction or anxiety or my tendancey to self sabotage #but either way im so fuckin fucked. im NOT in the headspace rn for writing a graduate school application letter. #trying hard not to cry rn bcs my friend and her parents are sleeping already bcs they have a 9-5 sleeping schedule to fit their 9-5 jobs #like i dont even have a normal sleeping schedule lmao mine's 2-10. i just don't understand why im so broken or whatever. not normal. #& i feel bad for bitching about it all bcs objectively i have a pretty decent life. i have a home i have food i have a family that loves me #im just back to feeling like im too much and also not enough and im so fuckin lonely. im tired of feeling lonely. and i think #ive got a platonic crush or two. or something. and idk how to handle that anymore. if i ever did. #idk idk i feel like im back to looking at the world and passersby through frosted glass again.

[yuukei-yikes]

just rewatched ep 12 of mekakucity actors to feel something and got pissed off all over again

#mary activating combining but no one dies when she takes the snakes?? GIRL THOSE WORK AS SURROGATE LIVES THEYD DIE IF SHE TOOK THEM FOR EVEN #A SECOND. #mary just stopping the loop bc ayano and shintaro use their powers. girl why dont they do that IN OTHER TIMELINES THEN #like the one big difference is saeru immobilizing them instead of killing them #the lack of haruka. its summertime record. BITCH #the way they dont explain how or why he is back but he is #even saeru asks WHY HAVENT U FUCKING DISAPPEAREDDDDDDDDD #like why didnt he lol. the power of friendship ig #LIKE IM GLAD ITS A GOOD END BUT ITS SO STUPID FR #ive always interpreted it as #now that saeru is in harukas body it has to grant the new host's wishes #and this time its 2 people bc awakening became its own person as well #so it has to give hiyori back (konohas wish) and just grant harukas wish in the first place since his was never granted lol #which is to have a strong body. while. yknow. BEING INSIDE HIS BODY #thats what i like to think anyway and i think it makes sense #and also how tf do shintaro and ayano even get out of the daze. girlllllllll #wait its cuz mary probably opened it ok nvm #mary opening the daze and shintaro ayano and haruka sneaking out of there like the rats in ratatouille #hiyori take ur chance come out now too #like haruka is so funny his whole existence proves that souls are real in the kagepro universe #bc the daze swallows u with body and all. hiyori shintaro and ayano could just walk outta there like nothing #while harukas like. a ghost or something #cuz his body is out and about #when the snake rejects u for being too niceys but u also dont die bc ur too niceys #the daze: but i like him. lets keep him pleaaaaaase #are u reading these tags #if so #hey #kagevinnie #kagenalysis

[toytulini]

they should make more songs about rats i think

#toy txt post #like just Literally About Rats. or even rat monsters or smth ill accept that #starving for rat songs #songs that are Actually About Rats and not about like. elon musk #dont get me wrong that one is a great song im just bitter cos its named rat and has nothing to do with rats #Kreacher by bridge city sinners understood the fucking assignment. perfection #no other song goes so fucking feral. beautiful. NOW IM THE RAT INSTEAD #other songs that understood the mf assignment: #chip by the real mckenzies #rat queen by the mountain goats #RATS by louie zong #but 4 songs aint enough to properly make my Rat Playlist even if i pad it out with ratatouille and stranger things s2 #WHERE ARE THE RAT SONGS. WHERE ARE THEY. STOP SINGING ABOUT LOVE GOD SHUT UP. #SING ABOUT RATS AND OR WORMS. PLEASE GOD

[arolesbianism]

Thinks oh so hard abt the spiraling upwards clan founders, especially the birchclan founders. Silly lil kitties who's pasts are drenched in blood with the primary regret of not drawing it sooner

#rat rambles #oc posting #warriors posting #spiraling upwards #long story short they had a shitty awful terrible leader who sucked absolutely ass and they tore him to shreds #I mean that literally they pinned him onto the mountain side and slashed and mauled the shit out of him so hard that his lives evaporated #and several of the cats involved in that scene are sill alive and major parts of the story and I love them #oh also the cat that pinned him through a stab through the throat was his own daughter btw everyone hated his ass so much #and for good reason get his ass #alas in the main story I dont rly get to go too deep into how he harmed everyone involved mostly just three main ones #aka bristlestar because shes murtlepaw's ghost mom dawncrackle because hes also haunting murtle and gullspot because shes bristle's kit #so basically all the flashbacks we get involve those three in some form or another #honeystar was also there and involved but Im not currently planning on having her rly talk abt that #most of her more modern angst is the fact that she was forced into leadership against her will #and shes been alive long enough that shes been leading birchclan far longer than she ever lived in her old clan #but she did go through a lot of shit before birchclan was founded and it definitely shaped her a lot #she used to be a very determined and high spirited lil kitty cat who tried to be optimistic #but her family began to slowly be picked off one by one by both the old leader and the one whod later get evicerated #some of the older cats around her hoped it make her back down from her revelutionary ideas but she noticed that and it backfired on them #instead of being worn down to submission she became absolutely Furious and began to lash out more and become more demanding #it got to the point that she really only had two friends in the entire clan and one of them was her aunt whod later also die after coming #out abt having witnessed the leader killing his own kits #that was the final fucking straw for her and she was fully on board when bristle and dawn started looking for cats to join their rebellion #she did get rly frustrated with them as they waited patiently for the right moment but her remaining bestie kept her from going apeshit #so once the big fight finally broke out she was more than eager to join the hoard of cats chasing the bastard upwards #now unlike some of the other cats involved this legitimately actually made her feel a lot better for a while #for the first time in ages she finally felt like she could be optimistic abt smth again and was excited abt the idea of leaving this place #she had lost so much in this damn place since she was an apprentice and just wanted to finally be able to rest easy #but once they got to their new territory and set up camp things went south real fast as a flood fucked everything up #and after losing the only cat she had left in her life and losing her tail and being made deputy on top of that she deteriorated quickly

[caffeine-high]

i am being so fucking kind right now you would not fucking believe

#caffeines cackles #the only reason im not ratting out the blatant 'letting chatgpt write your entire section' is bc it is so obvious that it would be impossib #for the professor not to notice #and i already got permission to hand in a separate version where i replaced those sections with my own text #but it is soo fucking tempting to hand in the evaluation clearly stating the exact reasons why i requested that #instead of just rescinding support for those sections without further elaboration #should i be asked for it i will jsut give it tho.. #but for now it only is clearly stating that i do not wish to be associated with them and ill allow the prof to draw their own conclusions #and take action if they see fit

[4giorno]

okay im enjoying getting these dialogues i previously missed so much. literally astarion when you ask what? will you miss me: "HA!

why not!!!"

#yea dont look at me i started a new character and felt like shit going through all the stuff that i just walked past on my beloved character #so i just made my og character the exact same again and im doing the exact same route with him again VDKFJDJDJDKF #but now im gonna actually do all the stuff in the game bc before i didnt understand the game so i missed so much #i was gonna explain everything i felt but it got way too long so ill just say this instead: #im already getting so much fuller of an experience and i couldnt be happier #and i wanna play my new character (who i like) when i dont feel misersble doing it #im not someone whos precious abt their games like when its over thats it thats the canon story so this way works for me #i build it meticulously until im satisfied! #im still gonna make the same decisions. hes still gonna be the same deceitful little rat with delusions of grandeur #but now i just play out all the massive amounts of stuff i didnt know existed bc i didnt understand how to navigate the game #its gonna be tough to eat the tadpoles again and be cool to the dream visitor bc i HATE the emperor hdjdjdjf #but like i said first time around its absolutely what he would do bc hes convinced he can control it #to get back to the post itself LMAO im obv so happy to get all the astari0n dialogue i missed bc just with this one dialogue i missed #(bc i didnt know how to long rest well) im getting a much more fleshed out picture of his manipulation and its so great #im on tactician now so im hoping it will force me to long rest more so i miss less camp dialogue #anyway can you believe my previous attempt at these tags was even longer? lmao bye im off to enjoy the game however i please!

[spoipage]

bought a Queen II record today and man. the songs on the black side all blend together so well. despite my player's shitty speakers it sounds much better this way. maybe they blend together digitally, too, but its never something i noticed until now. hearing them seamlessly change from one to another makes me appreciate the album itself a bit more, though its not like i needed that to like the album. Queen II is probably one of my favorites regardless

#they had sheer heart attack too and i almost got it instead. but figured i liked my favorites on Q2 more than my favorites on SHA #was hoping they had innuendo too but oh well. maybe next time i go to a shop that sells records #i wish they sold records of the live at bbc songs. their first album has all of them but they arent as good!!! or at least #i like the first versions of them more. great king rat is a lot more fun on bbc than on Queen #buying my first record was a mistake. now that i have a player its even more of a mistake. #these are expensive things to collect god damn!!!!!!!! but listening to them on physical records feels different. better i guess? #the only annoyance is having to flip it every so often (only when im in the middle of games really) but like. it doesnt matter

[andr0medafallen]

my friend who i usually watch TLOU with ruined our watch schedule by going to Jackson, Wyoming, which now that I say it out loud is kind of funny within the context of the show.

#still im so sad #we usually watch it on mondays and now i'm behind #we might just have to wait until next monday and watch both of them #also elliot lore i only live an hour or two from jackson #one time i drove a litter of new born kittens to jackson wyoming #so basically im Joel Miller #but instead of being named Ellie the kittens were named Prince Fluffington King P Rat Chewbacca and Soccer Mommy

[wacky-internet-rollercoaster]

Hmm.

#the rat has spoken #rambling #idk just thinking about how im FINALLY friends with someone who also likes similar stuff to me #instead of just trying to get people interested in the stuff im into #like my ex #yeah sure he liked the music but i basically dumped it all on him instead of him already liking it #which looking back is a major turn off #i always thought i was bad at taking music recs but now im listenening to an insane amount of tears for fears #bc i have a friend that likes similar stuff to me and they reccomended them #granted helps that theyre my squish <3 #but regardless I really like this stuff!!!! #and new order!!!! ive liked joy division for years but had never listened to new order #theyre fucking amazing!!!!!! #its so refreshing being friends with someone that likes similar stuff to me #we're both Depeche Mode fans!!!!!!!!!!!!!! #and i never thought id meet another Depeche Mode fan that's my age!!!!!!! #irl that is #im just. so happy that i have a friend like this now. #hmmmm idk how they would react to me recommending wish by the cure #its been mostly me receiving recs #but i think they might enjoy Wish #and i want to introduce them to some stuff that I listen to #vulnerability and all that #and so they can get to know me a bit more too lol #dont get me wrong i am very much enjoying my winter break but i want to talk about music with them :(((( #i cant text them so instead i am on tumblr alas

[chisatowo]

I find it very fun comparing bandori banner titles in jpdori and endori cause you can just really REALLY feel whoever was doing the english localizations pain in some of them fndmdbdjd

#rat rambles #band posting #some of them are just kinda ugly on the grounds that the text just feels so typed out instead of drawn but some of them Im more like #oh yeah thats rough buddy rip #favorite thing is in japanese some of the events thar just already had english names also had translated or transcribed them in japanese in #the title art as well and in some of the earlier events whoever translated them to english just had them both just sittibg there in english #now gimme a sec I need to dig up my favorite example of 'yeah rip besties' as far as funny localisation goes

[toytulini]

mental health just straight up plummeting

#toy txt post #everyday the smallest things have me spiralling into such stupid despair #constantly fighting myself cos every single thing has me wanting to throw up my hands and walk the fuck off bc theres bo point #whats the fucking point!! just despair and exhaustion and burned the fuck out and gnashing at the fucking walls and then spiralling into #a stupid little self pity self hate spiral cos im just a weak stupid little baby who cant handle the real world. plenty of ppl have it so #much worse and havent given up yet so whats my fucking problem? which is so stupid. but i cant logic my way out of this one #so i am simply sitting here feeling so god damn bad #and i dont even really have. a good reason for it. idk. like i dont have a lot of concrete quantifiable reasons i can present about why #i am so goddamn miserable at my job. im just. going insane i need out im performing badly its not worth it theres no fucking point #every day im fighting the urge to just fucking walk off over the stupidest tiniest things that are definitely not worth that kind of #reaction. like yea maybe i do need like mental health meds or smth but i also know. i need out of this fucking. job. but i dont know #like. idk its like my options are just kore of this same stupid bullshit or retail/food service. and like. shout out to retail and food #service. i fucking could not i fucking cannot. but like im reaching that point here too. everything hurts all the time with no reprieve and #all my options just feel like its gonna be ! even more stupid repetitive motions that wont help! like idk! idk what to do. i just #wanna read about stupid little fucking worms and fish but doing that professionally im not sure im up to it and #between me and that career path is thousands of dollars and homework. so #now im the rat instead now im the rat instead now im the rat instead now im the rat instead #trying so hard not to display idk red flag behavior but im Going Insane. i should just start crying at work. why bother hiding it. whats the #point #vent #ig #i should go eat. and waste the rest of my stupid fucking night playing zelda trying to soothe my brain enough to function except im not #functjoning cos then itll be 5am again and ill have done nothing but play zelda and be up too late and go to bed and not get enough sleep #and be a little to a lot late and be miserable and the cycle just fucking never ends #not enough fucking podcasts about worms out there for this #i opened several academic papers on tongue eating isopods to cope and barely read them bc i cant do that at work it takes too long and i get #lost and my productivity is already in the shit and i need to stop being on my phone and i know that but like also if i dont fucking #distract my stupid fucking brain right fucking now im gonna start throwing things and crying #anyway. thats how im doing. bye

[arolesbianism]

I have officially updated my Wendy skilltree concept 👍

#rat rambles #starve posting #I didn't change it too drastically but I did change the lunar and shadow aligned skills a bit and replaced certain skills #for the alignment stuff I decided that if burnie gets to be a planar entity so does abby cause fuck you #also because I think thats not too game breaking for her either due to her much lower health #I also gave the twins some soul link shit so now when wendy is below half health abby will take 50% of damage given to wendy for him #I think its fair game given that willow gets spells lol #I also decided to go fuck it and slap a abby gets to have 3 elixir effects at once skill on the elixir branch #I also decided that fuck it the previous skill is double length of effect now instead of 50% longer #the sisturn branch remains fairly untouched but the alignment based sisturn skills have actual concepts now 👍 #I also decided itd be fun to add some actual wendy skills but specifically for sanity aura related stuff #its his token 'not rly worth it most of the time but it's an option you could take advantage of' skills lol #basically I have 4 skills abt different types of sanity auras with the simplest just being stopping night sanity drain #the other 3 are creature auras landmark auras and equiptable auras #notice how I say sanity aura and not sanity drain. this is where I tap into kind of risky territory but also kind of cool territory #basically my thought is that these would be situational admittedly but also rly powerful sanity control tools #basically making it so youre theoretically in near complete control of wendy's sanity levels at any given time #I say theoretically and near because theres still a lot of sanity effecting things that arent auras or nighttime #I also think it's the best compromise Im willing to make with making a wendy skilltree that has actual wendy centric skills on it lol