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#yes yes obligatory people can have opinions but goddamn
spookuscaru · 3 months
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god the tumblr atla fandom is insufferable
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elyvorg · 3 years
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So… I was talking about aspec V3 headcanons? Well then, let me lay down the facts.
Maki Harukawa is on the aromantic spectrum. Yes, even though she explicitly develops a crush on Kaito, and no, I’m not trying to dispute that part.
This is basically canon. Let me tell you why.
Maki is aro
For this, we need to consider the conversation Maki has with Shuichi in the first training session in chapter 4, while Kaito has temporarily disappeared to the bathroom. On one level, this conversation exists to be the only actual meaningful indication* that Maki has romantic feelings for Kaito until she goes and confesses them. Someone like Maki wouldn’t care about asking Shuichi if he “liked” Kaede (in that annoying loaded meaning of the word “like” that specifically refers to romantic attraction) unless she was trying to come to terms with the idea that she also “likes” someone else in the same way, and the only plausible candidate for that is Kaito.
But even more striking about this conversation, far more so than the general implication that Maki would only bother asking this if she happened to be crushing on a certain spiky-haired space dork, is the way Maki approaches and thinks about this whole topic in general. Take a look:
Maki:  “Well… I assumed you didn’t, because that would be weird. […] Liking someone you just met… especially in a situation like this…”
Shuichi:  “… Then tell me… under what circumstances is liking someone *not* weird?”
Maki:  “…Huh? I… don’t know. I don’t… really understand what that is.”
I, as an aromantic person myself, fully agree with Maki that it just seems weird to start romantically liking someone you’ve only just met, especially in a life-or-death situation where surely there’s way more important things to be focusing on. But apparently, most people do not find this thought weird at all – love at first sight is supposedly a real thing that can happen, and something something dangerous situations can bring out more hormones and passion???? sounds fake but okay – and so opinions like mine and Maki’s here are very much outliers.
And not only that, not only does the thought of crushing on near-strangers bewilder Maki to the point of disbelief, but she also can’t even come up with an answer to when crushing on someone would ever not be strange and bizarre. Like the whole concept is just alien to her. She can barely even wrap her head around how “liking” someone in that way even works. The very reason she’s even asking Shuichi about this is because she doesn’t understand why she’s feeling this way about Kaito.
This is how an aromantic person would view this kind of thing. It doesn’t sound even slightly like something an alloromantic person would say in this situation. That’s not up for interpretation – that’s just the truth about these views that Maki is expressing. Again: I’m aromantic. I would know.
Even from a character who then does turn out to nonetheless have a crush on someone, these statements are pretty much as canonically confirmed arospec as you can get short of them straight up using the word "aromantic" or a variant.** And, well, obviously Maki isn't about to go calling herself that. From the way she’s questioning this, she clearly doesn’t realise that her perspective is the outlier, so she’s probably never even heard of the term. Besides, she most definitely has way bigger hurdles to be getting over first in terms of her self-acceptance before she's ever going to particularly care about figuring out labels for her orientation of all things.
Aros with trauma are still aros
Now, granted, I severely doubt that Maki being arospec is what the writers intended to convey. Haha, deliberate aro representation in mainstream Japanese media, especially something more complex than vanilla aro, that's a funny joke. What the writers probably meant by writing this conversation I just discussed is to suggest that Maki is viewing things this way a result of her trauma.
But hey, guess what? Even if it is because of her trauma - and I'm not denying that it probably is - that doesn't make Maki any less aro. Some people are arospec because of trauma, and that's equally as valid a reason to be arospec as without. Maybe Maki would have grown up alloromantic if she hadn't been scouted as an assassin, but that's irrelevant, because that's not the Maki who exists now.
In writing this conversation, the writers were presumably attempting to communicate that Maki is so messed up by having been manipulated and abused and moulded into a soulless killing machine that she can no longer comprehend the idea of how or why anybody (especially not herself) would fall in love with someone when they'd only just met, or even really in any circumstances at all. …And in doing that, the writers unintentionally wrote a character who, as a result of her trauma, is aro(-spec). This is an objective fact about the canon story that does not change just because the writers probably weren’t aware enough about aromanticism to actually realise this.
Aros who feel romantic attraction are still aros
So, of course, Maki does in fact come to romantically love Kaito despite this. That fact becomes very important to her, and me lengthily explaining here that she’s actually arospec is not remotely trying to diminish that. But it’s also very important to me that people realise that Maki’s romantic love for Kaito comes from an aromantic perspective. She eventually chooses to embrace those feelings not remotely because it just feels to her like the natural way things should go, but despite every single conscious part of her insisting that this is weird and illogical and doesn’t make any goddamn sense to even be happening at all. She is not going to suddenly fall into all the boring romantic cliches and stereotypical alloromantic approaches to love just because she does in fact happen to be experiencing romantic attraction. There’s nothing alloromantic about Maki’s crush on Kaito.***
As for the specific flavour of arospec that allowed Maki to fall in love with Kaito anyway? This part is somewhat more up for interpretation because there’s no real explicit indication of this in particular, but I personally like to go with the idea that Maki is demiromantic. It feels appropriate for Maki’s character and trauma to imagine that she can only begin to potentially feel romantic things towards a person when she has an emotional connection with them – when she trusts them and knows that they trust her. It doesn’t necessarily have to take very long – she’d only been friends with Kaito for a handful of days before that telling conversation with Shuichi – and she may not even have to have consciously admitted to herself that she trusts them, but she needs to have that bond. She’s normally so guarded and has such strong automatic barriers up during her interpersonal interactions that seeing most people in a romantic light literally isn’t even an option in her brain.
Maki’s confession of her feelings for Kaito does read as rather strongly demiromantic, I think. She makes a point that this is about who Kaito is and what he’s done for her, before even getting to the part where she admits to having fallen for him. And she says she “fell for” him, not that she was always in love with him or anything to that effect. This happened somewhere along the way during their friendship, because of their friendship, and because of Kaito being his incredible trusting supportive self towards her when she needed it most.
Maki Harukawa is demiromantic, and she’s wonderful.
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[some grumpy Amatonormativity and Aro Erasure 101 footnotes, can you tell I am bitter about this kind of thing]
(* When I say “actual meaningful indication” of romantic feelings, I mean something that isn't just the narrative infuriatingly pointing at things that are actually perfectly platonic in nature and going “ooh look how romantic~!”. Newsflash: worrying about somebody and wanting to rescue them when they're sick and injured and have been kidnapped by someone you think is an evil sadistic mastermind is not somehow proof of romantic feelings. That is a thing that friends do. And on the same note, teaching somebody how to build a crossbow is not some kind of deep metaphor for romance; it is literally just a lesson in how to build a goddamn crossbow. Maki would have done both of these things in exactly the same way if her crush on Kaito didn’t exist.)
(** It's exactly like how characters can be considered canonically confirmed same-gender-attracted when all they've done is show attraction to the same gender****, without them actually needing to explicitly refer to themselves with the word “gay”, or “lesbian”, or “bi” or whatever else. Anyone who tried to insist that was necessary in order for it to “count” would instantly be written off as homophobic. So if that’s the case, then a character explicitly saying something such as “I don’t understand what it means to like someone that way” equally constitutes them being confirmed aro, and trying to argue that it doesn’t “count” without outright hearing the word itself is, guess what…?)
(*** This also inherently means that there’s nothing straight about Maki’s crush on Kaito either, since societally-expected “straight” attraction is allo as well as hetero. I gather that some people in this fandom like to devalue and erase Maki’s crush (and potentially also Maki herself) because they feel that it’s an Obligatory Forced Straight Romance and don’t like that, or something along those lines. Well, good news! It’s literally not that, actually, because Maki isn’t straight.)
(**** …This only applies so long as it actually is very clearly romantic or sexual attraction and not just people deciding platonic affection is totally romantic thanks to the disease that is amatonormativity. Because, you know. That happens. Literally all the time. (Even from V3’s narrative itself; see footnote 1.))
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arofili · 4 years
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okay so idk why but recently i saw a lot of people on my dashboard talking about how shipping incest is gross etc. and you shouldn't do it and now idk, does russingon count as incest? technically seen they're cousins, right? the same for russingold(?), i know a lot of people ship russingon but this really made me unsure because it's still incest, isn't it? anwyays, sorry for bothering you, i just don't know who to ask, i'm pretty new in the fandom
[obligatory disclaimer that this is just my opinion, i speak for no one but myself, and also that i’m exactly 0% interested in having a debate over shipping morality; you are free to unfollow/block me if you disagree but i’m not about to engage with this mess of a dis.course. anon seems to be asking in good faith which is why i am answering. keywords have been censored so they don’t show up in tags/searches.]
anon, it looks like you’ve stumbled into some shipping dis.course. there are people in fandom spaces who are all about ship purity and policing what “good” ships are and what ships are “problematic” and what ships make you a “bad person” for liking. my advice to you is stay away from all that nonsense! shipping is more than just “this is a perfect relationship i want them to be together forever uwu” - there’s lots of reasons to ship something, from exploring dynamics to finding their story interesting to just thinking it’s cute and/or hot and so on.
but onto your actual question: yes, Maedhros and Fingon are cousins, and yes, lots of people ship them together anyway! it seems you’re aware of Russingold, too, but there’s lots of ships between the Finwean cousins, pretty much every combination you can imagine! and between closer relations, also, though those tend to be less popular bc more people are squicked by them.
here in the Silm fandom - in my experience at least - most of us are not really concerned with ship dis.course, especially when it comes to in.cest. we have in.cest in our canon, and Tolkien made almost every goddamn character related to each other, so like...if you (general you) are gonna get up in arms about shipping related characters, this probably isn’t the fandom for you. that isn’t to say that if shipping in.cest makes you personally uncomfortable, you’re not welcome here - you can blacklist tags, create your own content, etc, whatever you want! but trying to police the Silm fandom for purity of content, especially purity of ships, is going to get you laughed out of the room, tbh.
the thing to remember is that this is fiction, not real life - real life in.cest is a very serious thing that is always wrong, but fictional in.cest is just not the same thing because no Real Live Person is getting hurt over it. two not-real elf cousins getting it on is not putting any real person in danger unless you decide to doxx someone over shipping dis.course.
in Silm canon we have the Idril and Maeglin situation that says elves don’t marry their cousins...but specifically for Russingon (and, by extension, Russingold) Tolkien actually has an exception in his “elves don’t do in.cest” rule for half-cousins that makes it okay in the eyes of Elf Society! i broke that down in a meta here, so definitely check that out. and regardless it is important to remember that Maedhros and Fingon are half-cousins, which is significant both when it comes to their ship potential and also to the plot of the Silm. (also worth pointing out that there’s irl historical precedent of in.cest in royal lines...not that that’s like, an excuse, or a good thing, or anything like that - but uniting your feuding sons’ lines by marrying their children to each other? that’s some interesting shit right there! that would make an excellent AU!)
tl;dr: yep, Maedhros and Fingon are cousins; they share a grandfather, but they have different grandmothers. so yeah, that’s technically in.cest. but your morality is not defined by what you ship. fictional relationships are not the same as real life relationships. honestly, Tolkien probably shipped Russingon (the rescue from Thangorodrim is the most goddamn homoerotic thing I’ve ever read and that’s after Chrissy T took a knife to it). you are not a bad person for shipping Russingon, and in fact you are in good company! there’s a reason Russingon is the most popular ship in the fandom :)
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thatqrfanblogger · 4 years
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Valentine’s Fic #3 — “Bad Habits”
Hamburr fic (mentions of Burrdosia throughout)
Obligatory PSA b/c this is goddamn tumblr:  Smoking bad.  Don’t do it.  (But seriously, I don’t even do it, I just know people who do.)
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He’s never cared for parties.  He almost didn’t go to this one, except that one, he needs to schmooze Washington in a context where he’s more relaxed, and thus more likely to listen, and two, he’s been told by his supervisor that he needs to be more of a “team player.”  The latter makes no sense to him, because he’s been nothing but agreeable with everyone despite how difficult they’re being and how determined they seem to be to dislike him, but perhaps he’s been playing the wrong game.  Well, here he is, at a function that, given the paltry decorations, is apparently meant to be all play and no work, and he’s fucking game.
And yet he is still goddamn losing.
Washington spent their entire interaction distracted and subtly signaling to him that he’d rather be anywhere else, before conveniently being called away from Aaron mid-sentence, one of his teammates dubbed him “the worst” when he tried to make simple conversation, his supervisor told him, “Lighten up, it’s a party,” as if he isn’t aware of that, as if he didn’t show up here for the purpose of showing her that he could in the first place, and Theodosia—
Theodosia’s here with her husband.  They’re getting along again.  Which he supposes is good for her, even if he firmly believes the man isn’t. A belief he holds because of things she’s told him, not because of his personal relationship with her, he is perfectly capable of separating his feelings from his beliefs, and he told her so himself.  
(“That’s part of the problem,” she’d responded, and refused to clarify when he asked her what that meant.  Which means he has no means to fix whatever went wrong between them, and he wonders if perhaps that was the real point.  Perhaps she’d rather fix things with her husband than with him.  (Perhaps she’s right.))
He steps outside for a smoke.  Bad habit, he knows, but so is Theodosia, and since she isn’t about to alleviate his stress levels tonight, this will have to do.
“Beautiful night, isn’t it?”
Good God.  He’s out here to get away from stress; why is its human form choosing to accompany him out here of all places?
“Good evening, Alexander,” he says, not daring to look, “Shouldn’t you be out there?  With your friends?”  He tries to keep his voice friendly, but he can’t help the knife that slips out on the word friends.  It’s one of many edges Alexander’s gained over him without even trying.
(Not that he doesn’t try.  Good God does he try.  He tries Aaron’s patience every day.)
“I needed a break,” he says simply, stepping right beside him, unnecessarily close, as he blows out a smoke cloud that mixes with Aaron’s.
“You needed a break,” Aaron repeats, “That’s it?  No verbal essay?  No six-hour speech?  No long, tangent-filled rant about why you needed one and what asshole you happen to hate this hour?”
“Not tonight,” Alexander says, and there’s something strangely somber about his tone, almost pensive.
Hmm.  That wasn’t the response Aaron was expecting.  Normally he would’ve said something snarky about Aaron’s supposed inability to voice an opinion, as if ability were the same as action.  Is there something wrong?
He dares a glance at Alexander, and it’s more transparent when he’s seeing him, seeing the dejected body language, far less energetic than usual, the deep sigh as he exhales more smoke, the distant look in his eyes, reflective, just as the stars reflect off his eyes in turn, the white starlight accentuating the deep brown and—
Aaron quickly looks forward again.  As he brings his cigarette to his lips, he feels Alexander’s gaze on him, and tries to convince himself that the hot, uncomfortable feeling in his lungs is just his body rejecting the nicotine, reminding him not to do this again, but he feels trapped in this somehow, in more ways than one.
“I heard,” Alexander says, uncharacteristically slow, “you had a special someone on the side, Burr.”
“Had, yes.  Past tense.”
“Ah.”
Breathe in, breathe out.
“So I take it you didn’t bring her with you tonight, then.”
“No,” Aaron says, turning back to Alexander with a hard glare, “She brought her husband, actually.”
“Oh, shit!”  Alexander laughs, more nervous than amused by the sound of it, his smile fading when he takes in Aaron’s expression.  “Sorry. That… that can’t be easy for you.” His eyes are so sincere, as if he really does feel for him, almost as if he cares about Aaron.
Which is ridiculous.  Of course he doesn’t.  And Aaron does not owe him any more information.  He turns away.
“So what about you?  What are you doing out here?” he asks.  Not because he wants to know, just because… because.  It’s only fair that Alexander share, since he dragged it out of Aaron.  And if he starts in on one of his long speeches again, perhaps Aaron can tune him out as usual and they can go back to normal, instead of… whatever’s going on right now.
“Aaron… do you think I deserve to be here?”  
That was… more vulnerability than Aaron was prepared for.  But well, he is the one who asked.
“Of course.”
“You don’t… you don’t think it’s just because of Washington?”
“Well,” Aaron says, “none of us would be here if Washington didn’t at least tolerate our presence, so he’s certainly got something to do with it.”
“No, I mean—  Never mind. Forget it.”
Aaron’s cigarette is burning low, but he doesn’t want to leave, not just yet. He considers lighting another, but he’s not sure if that’s what he wants.
(Perhaps it’s better not to be sure; whenever he is sure what he wants, it evades him.  Perhaps it’s better to never want at all.)
Fingers brush against his, and with a start, he realizes it’s Alexander’s hand, dangerously close to his own.
“Sorry,” Alexander says softly, “I didn’t mean to startle you.”
He turns.  Alexander is staring right at him, like he wants something.  Aaron can’t be sure what it is, but his eyes, his eyes pin him with this questioning, curious, and almost desperate look.  Alexander is searching for something Aaron isn’t sure if he can give, reassurance perhaps.  
(Or perhaps something else entirely, but Aaron will keep that thought to himself, Aaron will get his nerves under control and treat Alexander like the nuisance he is, instead of giving into some bodily reaction that is probably just withdrawals from Theodosia, nothing more.)
“You work very hard, Alexander.  Perhaps too hard sometimes, but I do not doubt your dedication.  And anyone else who does is fooling themselves.” The words come out stiff and awkward and stilted, lacking his usual smoothness, but he’s doing his best to put verbal distance between them, everything feels too close and too fast, his heart is beating too fast, and his feet are rooted where he stands, gaze glued to Alexander’s beautiful, captivating eyes.
Perhaps he is fooling himself, when he tells himself that this is just about missing Theodosia, that what he’s feeling is nerves, that he hasn’t had the thoughts racing through his head right now, that he hasn’t wondered about this since the moment Alexander tapped him on the shoulder and asked him his name and stared at him with the utmost wonder and admiration, as if starstruck by Aaron’s very presence.
Alexander has long since gotten over his hero-worship, but he sees a glimpse of that look in his eyes tonight, and he can’t look away, can’t help but want to believe he hasn’t gotten over it entirely, can’t help but want.
Alexander looks down and smiles, almost bashful.  His hand brushes Aaron’s again, but this time Alexander holds on, laces their fingers together, and steps closer.  “Someone said I was sleeping my way to the top.”
“Ridiculous,” Aaron says, trying for a scoff but too breathless to fool anyone, even himself.
Alexander looks up at him again, eyes dark and wanting.  “I’ve actually never slept with any of my coworkers before.”  His eyes flit in the direction of the party for a moment, perhaps to indicate Theodosia, who’s probably more than enjoying herself with her husband right now, not even thinking about Aaron, but then his gaze returns to Aaron’s and he smiles at him, teasing.  “Any advice?”
Breathe in, breathe out.  “Don’t get caught.”  In, out. “Wait until you’re somewhere far away, where they won’t see you.”  Even as he says this, though, he squeezes Alexander’s hand tight, not wanting to let go of this, not wanting to let him go.
Alexander isn’t smiling anymore.  “I don’t know if I can do that.” 
His gaze is hard.  Aaron swallows.
Fuck it.  “Me neither,” Aaron says, and closes the distance between them. 
When their lips touch, Aaron feels like he can breathe again, breathes in Alexander’s sweat and scent and cologne and whatever the hell he’s put in his hair, which he grabs and pulls with his free hand.  Alexander moans and shudders against him, and when his own free hand touches the small of Aaron’s back, it feels like being struck by lightning.  Alexander is a strike of lightning, more raw and electric than anything he’s ever touched, and it pulses through Aaron as he moves his hand up his spine, up, up, up, until at last he cups the back of Aaron’s neck.
They catch their breath for a moment, resting their foreheads against each other, when the door slides open.
“You know,” says his supervisor’s voice, sounding amused, “when I told you to lighten up, this isn’t quite what I had in mind, but whatever works.”  She laughs, which in turn makes Alexander laugh, and Aaron joins in despite himself.  
Aaron turns to her and quips, “I think this might be the most fun I’ve ever had at a party.”
His supervisor laughs again.  “Good to hear it.  Well, don’t let me interrupt.”  She goes back inside.
Alexander breathes in Aaron’s ear, and the electricity courses through him again. “Should we take this somewhere else?”
“My place or yours?”
Alexander beams, eyes wide and shining and smiling along with his reddened, wet mouth.  Aaron remembers that they’re still holding hands when Alexander pulls him, and for tonight, Aaron lets him.
(Only for tonight, he tells himself.  This is not going to become another habit.)
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projectemmatyler · 4 years
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The damn diacritics on AO3 (aka What’s Your Effing Problem Jennie)
(disclaimer here: Jennie is a placeholder name that I for some reason don’t like. No offense to any Jennies meant.)
First few things I’d like to clarify here before I really light into this.
I am, as of March 2020, a member of OTW (Organization for Transformative Works), parent organization of Archive of Our Own, better known as Ao3. I am also a volunteer attached to Tag Wrangling committee, which means I get to see all your dumb shit you write in tags, try to make sense of it and link it to the canonical tags and/or make new ones if enough of you guys write the same thing in the tags. That’s my job that I do without any pay, for no real obligatory amount of time per week, with pleasure because I’m a fan, doing this for fans, to make their life on Ao3 happier and easier to navigate.
I also don’t speak for the OTW as organization, or AO3 as project, or any of the committees there - I speak as me, myself and I. And boy do I have shit to say here.
I am, surprise surprise, a fan of MXTX works. I’m also one of more than a dozen wranglers who’re currently panting as they try to keep our wrangling to-dos in all MXTX fandoms (including Módào Zǔshī, Untamed, Scum Villain’s Self-Saving System, and Tiān Guān Cì Fú). Yes, over a dozen wranglers. You heard me right. Not everyone there is willing out themselves (for some it may even be dangerous to out themselves as parts of OTW!), but I am willing, and I’m not going to shy away from calling several people, some of which include former wranglers who I have to admit have never met, on their BS.
So, the whole shebang was brought to me when a Twitter user decided that they can speak for Ao3, OTW and Tag Wrangling volunteers - that are about 400 in total right now - and say that one single person, who must be straight, white cisgender American (because why the eff not, this is something Cool Kids Say With No Repercussions Or Second Thoughts), decided to unilaterally decide that all Chinese fandoms, MDZS and Guardian in particular (we’ll come back to that later!), would be using pinyin tone markers. Instead of framing this as ‘this makes everyone’s life difficult, can we talk about this?’, this person decided it’d rather attack the organization; more specifically, a part of organization in whose purview the decision of making standards for canon fandom tags, and the smallest subsection of that part - us.
Yes, you attacked us. Thanks for that. What a nice thank you we get for dealing with your tags (and also, we have to use pinyin too!)
But moving on from my salty feelings.
The discourse that went on from there assumed three things:
One - there’s one MXTX wrangler.
Two - we’re all white American folk.
Three - we do this to spite Guardian and MDZS fandoms.
First one I already disputed (also, we get over 100 tags daily from MXTX fandoms at minimum, and when there are fan events, the numbers can climb up to 200 - do you really think one person could do it and stay sane?). Third one I can also dispute by the fact that I wrangle Liàn Yǔ Zhì Zuò Rén | Mr. Love: Queen's Choice and follow same rules. The rules for diacritics are also not even unique only to Chinese fandoms: Star Wars’ Padmé Amidala tag also has diacritics to name the most well known one, as do Polish-named and Spanish-named characters!
And yet, somehow, it’s only Guardian and MDZS that are being attacked. Why?
Because of the assumption number 2: we’re all darn racist white folk that come from good ole’ US of A.
As someone who’s decidedly not an American citizen (heck, my native language is not even English!) and find it quite offensive to be called that, I’m incensed. I’m incensed on the behalf of all Chinese-descent, Chinese-immigrant and China-inhabiting members that I work with as a MDZS wrangler, wrangler in general and fellow OTW volunteer. I’m incensed on the assumption that the English-speaking fandom, who is primarily based in US, is arbitrarily attacking Ao3, and this time me specifically as MDZS wrangler, on their goddamn entitlement, and claiming that the most international community I’ve ever had the pleasure to be part of as a fan is not taking their opinion into consideration, so therefore I have to be racist.
In not so polite words, go get that stick out of your ass, you special little snowflake.
I literally don’t give a shit if you’re PoC when you’re behaving like a stereotypical Karen on the block. I don’t care how much you wave your ‘I’m a protected group‘ card; if you’re an entitled piece of shit, you’re an entitled piece of shit and I’ll say it.
OTW, and Ao3 as its biggest and most well known project, is not perfect, as I’ve found out quickly after joining - we are a decentralized group of 800+ volunteers from all walks of life and all across the world, who are divided into groups that had to make rules that’ll accommodate an international fandom, and not just US-centric, English speaking one. Tag Wrangling rules have been subject to change before, and they are still subject to change - if the wrangling staff, volunteers and Board all manage to agree on something that’ll be inclusive to everyone, the change can be made, and we wranglers will gladly comply. However, framing this as your goddamn social justice crusade against Ao3, and only using two biggest Chinese-media fandoms in US specifically, stinks of typical entitlement I’ve been dealing since I was thirteen and naively stumbled into Fanfiction dot net, where I discovered fanfic.
I am sick and tired of fractions of US-based fandom refusing to even try to engage into a constructive conversation about fandoms, insisting that the entire international fandom has to accept their frame of mind, while at the same time not bothering to even try and understand our own frames (yes, I’m talking about all the ‘oh, you’re of X ethnicity, you must be an Y nationality’ shitstick I see all the time). I’m sick and tired of issues only being raised once US fandom learns about it, and preferably not even research the background for those things before starting a crusade while they’re at it.
In short, I’m tired of entitled, special snowflake Jennies who think waving their PoC, non-heterosexual, non-cisgender cards gets them a get out of jail card for their shitty-ass behavior. You’re not being crusaders for justice, you’re just being shitty-ass people, and please stop while you’re still ahead.
Talk with us constructively if you want to change, and piss off if you don’t.
This is me fuming at nearly 12 AM, because I can no longer ignore this shit. I repeat again for contrary idjits who didn’t read my disclaimer: I speak as me, myself and I, wrangler of MDZS, TGCF and SVSSS, and also MCQL, and not as spokeperson for either OTW, Ao3 or Tag Wrangling Committee.
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basshouse · 5 years
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Bring on the FAQs
I know you have questions! Oh, ok, I’ll honor the era of the fact check (be the change you want to see int he world, after all!): I think you have questions and I know I want to use questions as a framework for telling you more about my life. On board?? In case your answer is “no” and you choose not to click “keep reading” below, here’s the obligatory picture right up front: 
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That’s me in San Jose a couple days ago. Yes, I have a “bum bag” (super apologies to everyone I ever mocked for a fanny pack, a sweatpant, or a mini van, and a reminder to us all that it’s ridiculous to judge people for the things they decide enhance their quality of life...are heavily starched jeans in my future?  who can say?).  Also, yes I am on the North American continent. Sadly not with enough time or planning to be able to connect with many people, plus it’s a work trip and I’m freezing by balls off.  More on that later (the work part, not my balls). Let’s get to the Q&A!
A bit of a heads up: a lot of these are combo questions, I grouped them by flavor to make things more compact... you bunch are good at asking the same question multiple ways.
1.  Do you miss home/Seattle/the States?  What do you miss the most?
Alright, I’m going to leave out the obvious friends, family and a certain tiny dog, because...duh.  Do you really need the validation?  You know I miss you.  As for P-dog, he was IN A WEDDING.  IN A BOWTIE.  So suffice it to say that while I still get sad when I get in bed at night and he’s not curling up at my feet, his new family is showing their commitment to him in a whole new and completely adorable way. 
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I do not actively miss living in Seattle or the States. I haven't been homesick. and to be clear, Seattle is an amazing place and our lives there were full of amazing people and things. It’s just that I am enjoying being somewhere else and doing new things (and many of the old things in a new location). I can love Seattle (and you!) and love somewhere else at the same time, how amazing is that? One good thing about being faced with losing my job and visa was that I had to ask and answer the question of whether it was best to just “go home” -- and it was clear for both me and Jason that we did not want to leave Christchurch yet. No, we did NOT ask the kids this time :-). 
I DO miss some things about living in Seattle, and if you know me you won't be surprised to hear they are largely food related...La Palma.  Pickles.  Gardenburgers. Caesar salads that don’t have a poached egg on top. The ability to fulfill a special order (say, make a Caesar salad without an egg on top).  Jale-frickin’-penos!  It’s not to say that NZ doesn't have good food; overall the quality of the food is high and it’s nice that all the coffee shops serve real food.  Also, you almost never have table service, which threw me off at first, but now I really appreciate being in control of when I order and when I pay my bill.  A non-tip economy has its perks for sure, including less math at the dinner table! But there are some foods for each of us that fulfill a craving, are a go-to, and when you can’t get them, even a close approximation or a really good option just won’t do. This problemhas inspired me to learn how to cook new things, at least. Haven’t nailed the gardenburger yet.
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Also, I miss yoga.  A LOT.  Props to Core Power, Shefa, Haute, and Maven for being awesome places to practice a powerful flow in the heat with music. Thanks to all of you who taught me and those that let me teach you.  Christchurch has more bars and restaurants and interesting places than we expected, but this style of yoga just isn't there as far as I can tell.  So hit me up if you're interested in investing in a probably-not-very-profitable business in NZ once I have a visa that lets me own a business, and you can weigh in on whether “Surfing Donkey Yoga” (Jason’s nomination) is on brand or not.  I have an opinion but no harm in workshopping it. 
2.  Wait, you said in an earlier blog you don't overwork (or sometimes even work at all when you should be)...what do you do/are you going crazy/how do you handle it/are you really you?!?!? 
This is an honest question I have gotten in phone conversations, and since I assume you know me and my, um, rather industrious ways, you may have it too.  I mean, it’s not a secret that when I lived in Seattle  I worked A LOT, and stressed over work A LOT, and talked about work A LOT, and did work-y things outside of work, and worked at home and on the weekends FAR TOO MUCH.  And for background: in New Zealand I have had a much better work life balance. And at the end of my time at SLI there were many many hours that I went to work but did not really have work to do.  So while I have done what I needed to do, and contributed to the business, and used my skills, working and being at work has NOT defined my life here, even in the slightest, which it did in Seattle.  That pains me a little, because I also did lots of of things besides work in Seattle, and I never valued being a person who was stressed about work all the time (at least, I did not value that for other people or in principal, though I did build up some kind of addiction or compulsion based on an anxiety about not working).  Can I attribute being ok with more balance to a “less demanding” job?  In part that would be fair, but after giving it some thought I also must attribute it to both breaking the chain of bad habits and the general difference in culture,  For, as far as I can tell, in New Zealand, it is not common to work outside hours or on vacation; people value value and respect family time; and there's a much more subtle and prevalent difference that's hard to explain about the feeling that everything really is going to be ok if you don't struggle to get it all done in record time -- there’s an undercurrent of pressure that does not exist, at least not for me, and I think it’s a Kiwi thing.  An informal poll and some observational data (e.g. one boss told me when I sent an email on a sick day not to do it again, no laptop, employment contract stating a 37 hour work week) backs it up.   
So what do I do and am I still me and not going crazy?  Well, I’ll tell you and yes and no to those questions. Let’s be clear that I still work 37-40 hours a week which is plenty so don't get too exited, but here’s a wee list of some of the things I’ve been doing with “all this time.”  Sadly not enough yoga :-( 
I write a blog!  You're welcome.  
Cook, surf, hike, bike, gym, listen to records...I think you knew that already. Same shit, different continent. 
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Burlesquercize!  Yes, it’s what it sounds like -- a sluttier version of Jazzercise. My friend Tas and I also did a 6 week burlesque course that culminated in an actual performance.  On stage.  In. Front. Of. Real. People.  Body positive, pro-female and anti-agist?  You betcha.  Terrifying?  Kind of. Entertaining?  I hope so.  And no, we did not take our clothes off (that would have moved the answer to “terrifying?” waaaaay up). 
Tennis lessons!  Finally fulfilling a desire to learn and play tennis that I have had my entire adult life, I joined an adult beginner group lesson at the tiny Opawa Tennis Club.  Really, in American terms, this should be “club” -- because like the lawn bowling club and croquet club near my house, this is the kind of club that where pay $100 bucks to get a key so you have access to equipment and courts when you need them, and there are organized games and lessons a few hours a week.  Plus a water fountain. Croquet might be my next project, as I am still as shockingly bad at tennis as I was in junior high when I got moved from the 8th grade beginner team down to the elementary school group at a “real tennis club.”  But learning tennis is fun, and I have met some great people, and hey, it’s summer in December so why not? 
I grew tomatoes. It didn’t take that much time, so I could still do tennis and burlesque, thank god.  
I make pickles like twice a month. In NZ, pickles are almost exclusively sweet gherkins.  Most of you are probably like “making pickles is super easy, der.” You're right. I don’t know why I ever paid for them...oh except they were pretty cheap and super convenient to buy pretty much anywhere. It’s remarkable how scarcity, a bit of dill and a head of garlic can drive such commitment to a new activity.  Now if I only had a goddamn Gardenburger to eat with my pickle slices!
On a career path note, I became a volunteer city coordinator for Product School meetups and am working to get that off the ground.  I am mulling over ideas about generating and delivering content and education in the product management space...there may be a great opportunity to leverage my skill set and breadth of professional experience in NZ and I’m doing some activities that will help me network and consider the possibilities. 
I have read more books since we moved than I think I read in the last 10 years.  I do miss the New Yorker, I think I could finally be crushing the cover to cover in a week challenge. If you haven't read This is Where I Leave You, you should.  
TV: In the interest of transparency...I don't just read and write and exercise, and as much as I’d like to present as that virtuous, I can’t lie to you, even by omission.  If you have not seen the Amazon TV show Red Oaks, I highly recommend it.  Obviously the tennis montages have a new-found appeal for me, but the rest of it was really good too. 
Roadtrips!  There’s a lot to do around NZ, even within an hour or two of Christchurch.  I’m trying to think of a good way to tell you about the things we have done, there will be more posts to highlight what we’ve done so far. 
We hang out with friends, host guests, and sometimes try to make new friends. More on that in other posts as well. 
Here’s another thing we did, which was attend an interactive improv-y game show at the Busker Festival...yes, I am realizing as I get ready to hit “publish” that it sorta seems like Jason and I are into a whole new realm of adult entertainment. 😱. We’re really not, not that there's anything wrong with it.  I just thought you might appreciate this picture of Jason:
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Next up in the blog: more FAQs.  Political! Personal! Practical!  See you soon. 
PS: I don’t just cook with cheese...and these are my tomatoes:
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janiedean · 7 years
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Ok but… Laws are not about being morally perfect? They're about protecting the most people. Are you saying that you would fight for the right of a minority of people (we're talking of a very small number, especially globally) to choose prostitution for themselves even if it condemned the vast majority who is being coerced/trafficked into it? This is as if i advocated for the right of children to work because i was bored at school. Do you not see how privileged you have to be to have this pov?
................ 
oh good fucking lord
it’s 1 am and I have no other better way to phrase this
I am against the idea that one law can override a person’s agency
like anon idk if you’ve ever been on the opposite side of the very paternalistic attitude certain people have of telling you that when it concerns a PERSONAL MATTER YOU HAVE PUT THOUGHT INTO AND YOU HAVE PERFECTLY VALID OPINIONS ABOUT they know better than you and you’re a poor idiot who has been conned into thinking differently and will take offense when you say that no, you know your own mind, because I have been tho not for that related matter and I can assure you that you want to murder someone
I’m saying that I would fight for the right of everyone to choose what they want to do with their life without someone else deciding for them that their choices are inherently harmful and that at the same time I don’t want it to leave room for coercion
like, man, you think prostitution is legal TM in most countries where there are actual huge issues with child prostitute and trafficking or that if it is, it’s regulated properly? in italy it’s not ILLEGAL but there’s a legislation making all activities connected with it illegal, there’s not ACTUAL law that legalizes it except for a supreme court sentence that says that if you’re on your own prostitution is a legal activity to have but we don’t work on common law so idek and we have huge issues with sex traffickers and underage prostitute trafficking which we didn’t have when brothels weren’t outlawed, and they’ve been for half a century and guess why people have been talking about changing that law because it was obviously not working and it’s not working yet. what are you proposing, that we ban prostitution? that sex work automatically makes the sex worker a victim overriding their agency because it happens to most people being into sex work? and how do you solve it, stopping it period or doing it like in sweden? because newsflash as I’ve been telling for ages, prostitution has been around since the beginning of times and it’s not going away because we decide it’s immortal or that it should be banned for whichever reason it is, which is a factual fact and not me idealizing shit, because otherwise prostitution would have disappeared ages ago.
like. man. humans are generally sexual beings. if they can’t find someone to do it it’s not implausible that they’ll look for it for money and THEY ALWAYS HAVE AND ALWAYS WILL. at this point I’d rather have SOME FUCKING KIND OF REGULATION FOR IT THAN NOT.
also I don’t think you’re aware of one thing, that if you’re thinking of ‘a vast majority forced into prostitution’ you’re talking about THE ENTIRE FUCKING PLANET, because there’s people forced into it in germany, in nigeria, in italy, in thailand and in every goddamned country in existence to various degrees. HOW do you think you can solve the issue in THE ENTIRE PLANET when the situation changes also due to specific cultural issues and how each country handles it? it has to be looked at differently in each country and in any case you can’t assume that sweden is the same as thailand.
and anyway as fucking privileged as it might sound to you, THINKING FOR OTHER PEOPLE AND ASSUMING THAT YOU KNOW BETTER THAN THEM ABOUT THE DECISION THEY TAKE FOR THEMSELVES WITHOUT LOOKING AT IT CASE BY CASE is imo paternalistic, offensive, frankly degrading and disrespectful of people’s agency. case closed. I am not budging on that. period. I want people who want to fuck others for a living to be able to do it and I want laws to persecute anyone and anything who tries to force anyone to have sex as a job if they don’t want to. and you can’t say that it’s impossible period to do it because this system as I imagine it doesn’t exist anywhere (yet) and seeing sex work as a regular kind of job is a relatively new thing at least in western culture, so it can’t be a thing that happens overnight. like, are you purposefully ignoring that I’ve stated a hundred times that I absolutely abhor the concept of people being forced into sex work (btw not all sex work is prostitution but okay) or are you just avoiding mentioning it because then it makes me sound like an asshole? because I feel like you’re purposefully ignoring it.
also, your comparison?
actually children having to go to school and not having to work is a relatively new concept because guess what it hasn’t been legalized properly for the entirety of the 19th century, like, have you read any dickens? in italy I’m fairly sure that for a while the obligatory school stopped at ten years old and the first laws seriously regulating it were made in early 20th century.
a lot of children in the world actually work and don’t go to school, and idk if you were around years ago when there was a huge scandal over nike employing child labor. actually, most probably, more children in the world work more than attend school until they’re sixteen anyway. GLOBALLY, children don’t have a right to go to school more than they are forced to go to work. but okay. like, congrats, if you wanted a problem to fight globally as well, you have just nailed one.
children are not adults. I am talking about not speaking over fucking adults when it comes to what they want to do with their life. no one sane would say that children working is a ‘right’ because we all know that it’s wrong, but no one sane says that prostitution has to be legal WITHOUT CHECKING OR WITHOUT LIMITS. or that porn industry has to be legal without checking. but one thing is STUFF FOR ADULTS MADE BY ADULTS WHO SHOULD BE ABLE TO DO IT/MAKE USE OF IT FREELY AND WITHOUT BEING COERCED, another is making children work when they haven’t developed the critical skill necessary to make life-altering decisions such as WHAT JOB DO YOU WANT. ffs I wouldn’t ask of a teenager to make life-altering decisions, but of an adult I would. I’m talking about adults. like sorry but according to your reasoning since democracy means that dumb people can vote for a dumb president (ie trump) we should all scrap it and go back to absolute monarchy because us illuminated people know better and people can’t choose whoever the fuck they vote for.
also, assuming that everyone selling sex is a victim automatically criminalizes it at least virtually because it’s automatically seen as a Bad Thing That Should Not Be Discussed Freely Because There’s Something Wrong With It and that’s how you get purity crusades. I don’t want purity crusades, nvm that you can’t fight coerced prostitution in germany the way you’d do it in thailand.
like, wow, I’m saying that people should be allowed to think for themselves but that’s somehow a privileged argument.
k anon, whatever you say. I like to think with my own head. because we start with this and then we end at ‘heterosexual women don’t know that they like dick because men brainwashed them into it and I, person who has never met you, know your own sexuality better than you’. and that turns into policing people’s sexuality. which then turns into the victorian age which then turns into puritanism and if you don’t see that there’s a problem with that, or you’d rather have puritanism than discuss about the best ways to make sure sex work is only available from people who actually actively chose to do it without pressure from anyone else, then I don’t have anything else to tell you.
also, this started from a post that was talking about PEOPLE WANTING TO POLICE WOMEN’S READING HABITS AND IT HAD ABSOLUTELY NOTHING TO DO WITH PROSTITUTION BUT IT HAD EVERYTHING TO DO WITH CALLING OUT A DAMAGING CURRENT OF RADICAL FEMINISM THAT’S EVERYTHING BUT SILENCED THESE DAYS, and the first place y’all went was ‘yes but radical feminism also fights prostitution so the concept isn’t wrong when applied to that but it is when applied to kinky fanfic because that’s not important enough’ like no one even brought it up can y’all just take a valid critic and think about it instead of bringing up crusades no one even asked for
and now I’m looking at the other ask I have in the inbox and then I’m going to bed because I have work tomorrow and I refuse to stay up until 2am having this discussion good lord don’t you know that when the government or the lawmakers start THINKING IN YOUR PLACE YOU GET A THING NAMED 1984 or have you not read that book in middle school
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tuckerfuckingdidit · 7 years
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Carwash
YES. IT’S TIME. strap the fuck in, you knew this was gonna be a doozie when you sent it. obligatory tag for @capricornfraud.
when I started shipping it if I did: this started as a weird preoccupation with why no one else shipped it, and how it would work. like, wash is shipped with doc, who he held hostage, and donut, who he shot. i figured carwash didn’t work because their power dynamic is imbalaced in a pretty clear-cut direction, but then tuckington happened! so i assumed it was the Memories that made it weird, and carolina not going back for him. but honestly, ships with History that they need to work through are my fucking weakness—i have an entire tuckington au where tucker is a freelancer for this very reason. 
second, relationships aren’t always easy to put in boxes. “wash has memories from carolina’s father, so all of his feelings for her are familial.” uh, no. wash has come a long way from his initial implantation with epsilon—he knows he is not leonard, and he had a relationship with carolina before he got those memories. there’s no way his feelings are that easily defined. there’s admiration and resentment in there, and that’s just on his side, before you start to fill in the blanks with headcanons.
i ship it because it stands to arguably be one of the most complicated relationships between two living characters on the show. there’s so much there, and i think the writers have shied from carolina and wash having certain Conversations because they don’t know how to tackle them—or had no interest in doing so because they felt it was Too Serious.
my thoughts: i started out not really paying them any mind and now I LOVE IT!!!! i’ve yelled at freddie a lot in the past two weeks, but just. there’s so much there. a lot of people write them as giving each other a wide berth because they have a lot of similar scars—some that they gave each other. you have to remember that it’s not just that carolina didn’t go back for wash: from her perspective, wash put a gun to her head over strangers (who she later came to love, but they were strangers at the time!), and even though he had seen epsilon’s memories of what the director had done, wash stayed with the project. of course he had his reasons, but when carolina’s discovering that everyone is in the wind except for south, wyoming, and wash, she doesn’t know what shape his recovery has taken. all she knows is that he’s still with them. 
but i think it’s also important to bear in mind that they’ve moved a great deal past that. i talked in my carolina post about how i see her as moving full circle, not reinventing herself. i think the reason there aren’t more carwash shippers is because we aren’t given much of a foundation for them during the project for them to circle back to. we see it happen when they’re fighting, but nowhere else. and with carolina having called the freelancers family, i highly doubt carolina and wash only interacted in drop ships and battlefields. 
there’s a lot of empty space to be filled regarding the freelancers, but simply put, i think carolina was tactile, and wash was affection-starved. wash isn’t given a face because we’ve already known him for three seasons when the flashbacks start, so his helmet never comes off, and we miss out on one of the biggest headcanons i have—the team ruffled this kid’s hair constantly. before leonard realized everyone had gotten too chummy and the board was put into place (because what hurts more: people who were always fiercely competitive and shitting on each other abandoning each other, or a family with genuine camaraderie turning into strangers?), you could catch these two half on top of each other in the rec room every once in a while (which conveniently could be a great reason wash seems to rub york the wrong way). like, if you listen to the tone of voice that carolina teases wash in, she obviously thinks wash is adorable. i refuse to believe she wouldn’t have gotten a kick out of flirting with him just to fluster him.
this portion is getting way too long oh my god. basically, the carwash you get on chorus (and going forward), depends largely on your pfl era interpretation of them. that’s the ground work. just because the writers didn’t take the time to develop their relationship doesn’t mean it didn’t exist. do i think they go through the motions of Falling In Love? no. but i do see them as reluctant to ever let go of each other again. like, ever. especially if there’s really no epsilon anymore. they’re each other’s only relic from the project, and that history puts them in a prime position to be the other’s Person—if the work was put in. if you just write them as never talking, then there’s nothing of note to them, and red is a sad panda. but where’s the fun in that?
What makes me happy about them: her fierce determination to never lose him. her starting to reach out for him physically again on chorus, and wash surprising even himself, because holy shit, he’s not flinching. carolina’s quiet mix of amusement and happiness at the (re)discovery that wash still turns into a goddamn cat if you can get him to relax. her foot hooked under his ankle in the mess hall while she talks to the reds. wash deciding he is Done with his food early so he can jam his helmet on his head, because he can’t stop fucking smiling. 
and in restoration AUs where the reds and blues stay on chorus, once the fighting is over? oh my god. have Some Things:
the first time carolina gets her fingers in his hair and he nearly falls asleep on her
her utter dismay when he proceeds to go back to his room and not sleep at all. 
the fact that she would totally take scheduling a Communal nap super seriously if he started to look really exhausted. 
him showing up at her room at 3 in the morning the night he finally cracks and admits to himself that he sleeps best next to her.
the super chill, seemingly impenetrable bubble forming around them that follows. absolutely no one else understands it. they barely understand it. “are they fucking? wait, what if they aren’t? are they gonna get even more obnoxious when they do?” 
^ tucker, probably. it’s ok tucker, just come squeeze in if you don’t have kai.
and when epsilon is gone, carolina has someone who won’t allow her to wall herself off from everyone else, even if it means they just sit together and don’t talk about it. sometimes they do, but most of the time, they don’t. wash just doesn’t want her to be alone. he knows what that feels like, and he doesn’t want that for her. 
just. the sheer amount of forgiveness and trust that is required for them to even function together will never not Get Me. i love happy, healthy stories, and the idea of the two of them healing together will always be something i am here for.
but they’re also not perfect. she’s still going to be protective, and try to take on too much on her own to lower his level of risk. he’s still a fucking spaz. they’re going to get on each other’s nerves. there will still be days neither of them knows how to say the right thing, and days they both keep saying the wrong things. it wouldn’t be Them if it wasn’t awkward. but that just makes when it works so much better.
What makes me sad about them: there are bad days. days when it’s hard to look at each other. when their silences aren’t so companionable—both of them locked in their heads, mulling over past mistakes, could-haves and should-have-beens. 
the days wash can’t quite meet her eye, no matter how much carolina wants him to. 
the days she doesn’t want him to.
also?? if they get closer when epsilon is still around/alive/himself, LOL. awkward.
things done in fanfic that annoys me: there is no carwash fic to come to my attention so far, which is an annoyance in and of itself. *puts on captain hat*
things I look for in fanfic: FOR IT TO EXIST, CACKLING. but i like it when writers understand carolina’s opinion is one wash trusts, and vice versa.
Who I’d be comfortable them ending up with, if not each other: yorkalina, kimbalina, tuckington, suckington, and mainewash are all Good Shit. oh, also mainealina. how did i forget mainealina?
My happily ever after for them: if the reds and blues are all getting houses in the same cul-de-sac, carwash doesn’t just live under the same roof, their rooms are right next to each other. tucker, junior, kai and caboose can live next door. they’re loud. wash may be used to the blues, and carolina had church in her head at all times, but at the end of the day they still need a place to retreat when wash flinches at every loud noise and carolina can’t stop grinding her teeth. 
it’s really important to me that they have somewhere they can go be Quiet together ok, no matter where/when they are. i do love the idea that they never really slow down though. carolina’s not really the settling type, and i’ve always read wash with an inherent need to be Useful since serving as recovery one.
who is the big spoon/little spoon: carolina is the official big spoon. she is not the smol, fight me on this. first of all i literally cannot reblog art where she’s shorter than him—thank u rt, for giving us absolutely no tall women in the pfl arc Because Reasons. but snuggly naptime carwash and post-coital are two completely different animals. at first they can’t even both stick around after sex, and then when they start to, they plant themselves right on each respective edge and Do Not Move. 
you can tell the second they relax though, because they slide closer to the clothed, snuggly arrangement, which is less spooning and more wash on top of her with his head on her chest and her hand in his hair.
what is their favorite non-sexual activity: the exact above arrangement with clothes on. lmfao. NAPS, BRAH. but also don’t underestimate the value in them just Sitting Quietly and being present together, because i neeeed it. i crave it ok. it keeps me up at night.
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